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flowercrowngods · 9 months

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written for @steddieas-shegoes as a follow-up to this "can you read the letter for me" post-breakup scene (@artaxlivs wrote a wonderful version over here for you to read!) cw: drug mention, OD mention

Steve's body doesn't quite feel like his own as he walks to the playground with his breath lodged firmly in his throat and his heart trying out an old beat that used to be familiar. It's struggling, though, and Steve tries not to think about it. The cold breeze of the night hits his face, making him shiver for more reasons than one.

He hasn't been to the playground for years now. It used to be their spot when they couldn't sleep, kept awake by nightmares and memories and the worst of scenarios. They would come here and sit on the swings, steal glances at each other and talk into the night air, pretending like the other wouldn't hear, and hoping that he would.

He first took Eddie's hand here, swinging as they were, and Eddie had chuckled through his tears, and then his smile hadn't left all night – nor did his hand.

Maybe it's a bad idea, meeting him here. After everything. But some part of him thinks that it might be what they need. If Eddie really is doing as badly as he said, if he really does need a break of several weeks, a tiny part in Steve (the part that would always put himself last as long as it means that the other person gets the tiniest bit of comfort) wants Eddie to have this.

Their little bubble. Or the memory of it at least.

Steve is shaking as he sits down on one of the swings, one of his hands wrapped around the cold chain, the other balled to a fist in the pocket of his jacket. He feels oddly tethered even as the world begins to sway this way and that, even as the breath lodged in his throat solidifies into a lump and he feels as though he's about to cry.

Maybe that, too, comes with the muscle memory of swinging.

He spends an odd second envisioning himself from twenty years ago, laughing and squealing with his friends as they tried to do a looping, and then jump right up into the sky above, see who got farthest.

It brings a smile to his face and a nostalgia to his heart that he hasn't felt in a while.

He feels like he hasn't felt anything in a while. And that he won't until Eddie will apologise. Until he will explain.

The steady squeak–squeak–squeak of the swing is almost eerie in the quiet of the night, but to Steve it brings a certain calm; a safety that he knows is treacherous, but he feels it tingling in his arms, because–

Eddie is there. Slow steps approaching, the gravel crunching underneath his feet that makes Steve want to look up, but, tightening his grip around the chain, he refuses.

I’m sorry for being too much and not enough at the same time.

He knows the letter by heart now, and he wants to see. He wants to see how much space Eddie will be ready to take now, how much he'll let himself be this time. It's unfair, he knows; Eddie's not fine, he should take a step towards him. And he is. He's here. He has agreed to meet with Eddie and hear him out. He has agreed to allow himself a chance at mending his own heart.

Steve feels so torn inside, in more ways than one, that he feels paralysed and petrified and frozen. Part of him wants nothing more than to leap up and take Eddie in his arms, tell him that they'll figure it out, that they can do it, that they can make it work. That second chances are just a thing that happen in life. That it doesn't have to be one and done.

That's another reason he won't look up. There are so many reasons.

"Hey," Eddie's voice cuts through his racing thoughts, though it sounds so gentle and fragile that Steve wonders if it's not Eddie who's been cut.

The steps have stopped, the gravel no longer crunching, and Steve can see a worn pair of Chuck Taylor's in his vision. Not Eddie's usual armour. It throws him off, makes him want to cry, makes him shiver in a way he can't blame on the breeze anymore.

"Thank you," he continues, sounding even more gentle, and Steve squeezes his eyes shut, no longer wanting to hear that voice, not when it sounds like that. So bare. So raw. So vulnerable. "Can I sit with you?"

Steve swallows hard, and doesn't have to consider at all. He nods. Gravel crunches again, then twin chains squeak, the old wood creaking and groaning a little above them, but Steve knows it'll hold. It always does. While Steve is gently swaying, one foot anchored to the ground, Eddie remains impossibly still.

Maybe they're both about to break.

After a while, Eddie speaks up again with the words that Steve has been longing to hear for four years. "I'm sorry."

They're not nearly as satisfying as he always hoped. The world is still broken.

"Okay," he rasps, not really knowing what he's supposed to say. What Eddie wants from this. What he wants from this. If either of them still have the right to want things.

"I had this speech prepared," Eddie continues, still entirely still aside from the way his voice wavers, his laugh a bit breathless and bitter at himself. "But... I didn't... I didn't think you'd come, to be honest."

"Funny," Steve says before he can stop himself, cutting off the rest before it can leave his mouth and make it worse than it is. Coming from the one who left.

"I'm sorry," Eddie says again, and Steve is already tired of it.

So he says nothing, and his silence seems to mute Eddie.

"What does it mean?" he asks eventually, still not daring to look over at the man who used to hold his heart in his hands and then threw it down the quarry before leaving town without another word for four years. But he can feel Eddie's eyes on him. "That you're sorry, what– what does that mean."

"It means that I..." Eddie starts and trails off, considering his words in a way that makes Steve wish he wouldn't.

Just tell me. Take up space. Be enough. Be too much. Just tell me.

"It means that I wish I hadn't left, but that I know I had to in order to find out that living without you is not living at all. It means that I know that I broke your heart and your soul and your future, maybe, for this need of mine to just... find out. To run away. To be someone I could choose to be. And, God, it wasn't worth it. None of it. And still it happened, still I did it, still I know that I just... I had to do it. Being the person I was then, it... I just. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve this. None of it. And if I could, I would turn back time and just tell you. Or sleep it off. Get help, talk with Wayne, anything. Anything that wouldn't lose me the... That wouldn't lose me you. And I'm sorry."

When Eddie finishes, his voice is hoarse, and Steve can't look away any longer. He opens his eyes and prepares to meet Eddie's beside him even in the dark of night, but he finds that Eddie is looking up instead, towards the sky where the moon is busy painting a cloud in silver light as it moves to cover it incrementally, and Steve takes a second to look back down at Eddie and watch him for a second.

His hands are clenched around the swing's chain, and they're shaking a little – so minutely that Steve's not sure if he's imagining it at all, but he feels like he knows Eddie enough to know that he's shaking, too. That they're in this together still. His thick leather boots are replaced with the worn, dark red Chuck Taylor's, and he's wearing a pair of jeans that aren't ripped at the knees. His black denim jacket is plain, no pins, no patches, no rips or tears or any sign of Eddie.

It leaves Steve feeling bereft, untethered once more; and isn't that unfair. It's not fair for Eddie to come here looking like this, looking so open and plain and vulnerable – how is Steve supposed to talk to him now. To talk at him, knowing his words will only meet armour. Armour that will make Eddie leave again.

How is he supposed to say anything when Eddie might not leave again. Or when he never came back in the first place?

"What happened to you?" he asks, the apology forgotten at this need to know. This need to protect, even after all these years. This need to be Steve and Eddie. If only just for the duration of a question.

Beide him, Eddie huffs and looks away from the now covered moon, meeting Steve's gaze with those big brown eyes that look so much bigger now. So much... sadder.

"I've spent all my life knowing who I didn't want to be. Knowing what to be against. Knowing what to hate. And then I– Then I met you. And I got to be someone for myself, you know? You let me be that. And I didn't see, I never... I never quite saw that, Stevie. Because that sad, scared, angry teenager part of me still wanted to hate and rebel and to leave and to be someone. And it didn't matter who, what kinda person, just... Just someone. So I left, and I– God, I lost myself. That self that you brought out. That self that wanted a life full of, like, love, y'know? Not hate. Not anger. Not... Not battle vest, leather armour, sticking it to the Man. But when I realised, it was too late."

"When did you?"

Eddie breathes out heavily. "Last year? Friend of mine OD-ed. Lou. Found her in the hotel, just..."

He breaks off, and Steve can see him blinking away tears just as he blinks away tears of his own.

"I called the band in this, like, full-on panic attack. Told them it was over. Told them I didn't want this anymore. They– They talked me down, because they're great guys. Helped me through it. All of it. Jeff told me to send the letter. Said, 'If you wanna find yourself again, Ed, you gotta start where you last had it, and you gotta start sending the letters.' Best fucking guy I know."

Eddie is smiling through the tears, telling all of this like it's not worth telling at all – like they're not both crying silent tears at it.

Like Steve's not understanding what he's saying. You made me into someone I liked being. and I did write to you, I just never sent them.

"You wrote me letters?"

Eddie nods. "All the fucking time. Wanted you there with me. Stayed sober for you until I... Until I couldn't anymore, because I'd left you, and I left this fucking swing set, and I... God, I'm so sorry, Steve." Eddie is really crying now, hands covering his face, and it's not really a decision at all when Steve gets up to stand between his legs, wrapping his arms around Eddie's shoulders and letting him cry into his chest.

Eddie wraps around him almost instantly, and Steve holds him, running his hands through his hair, shushing him gently, just allowing Eddie to cry for as long as he needs.

And I got to be someone for myself, you know? You let me be that.

You let me be that.

"I'm sorry," Eddie repeats, over and over, and Steve finds himself saying, "It's okay, Eddie, it's okay. I forgive you."

They stay like that for a while. Until Eddie calms down enough to breathe normally again, and even longer still before Steve slowly, gently pulls away – ready to move back in and hold him some more. Even though he shouldn't. Maybe.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," he says at last. "And I'm glad you're taking a break. Glad you sent that letter, too."

"Mm-hmm, me too."

Silence settles between them once more as Steve finds his way back to his swing; and that's when he starts thinking again.

"When you left, I was devastated. And I couldn't even tell anyone, not even Robin. It's like... It's like when you left, you took away that part of me, y'know? I didn't know how to talk about you. The words were gone, or something. And then you... You wrote your songs. And it was double unfair, because not only you get to leave, you also got to talk about it? To, like, thousands of people? I never... I still– it's.... It's like I still don't know how to talk about it. About you. Or to you. There are things I wanna say, but... You said them all, I guess. You got to say them."

"Steve," Eddie breathes, and he sounds just as devastated as Steve feels. "I never meant to– I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."

"No?"

"No! No, you... No."

Their eyes meet again, and Steve swallows hard again. "Tell me."

"What?"

"What you were gonna say. What you want to say."

Eddie breathes deeply and lets it all out in one long breath. "You didn't deserve that," he says at last. "You deserve someone who treats you right. Someone who lets you be who you want to be, too, and who will bring you flowers, and who will buy you an Winnebago and get you everything you could ever wish for. You deserve someone who's not broken, someone who'll do anything for you because they realise that you're everything they could ever dream of and more."

Steve sighs and feels frustrated again, because Eddie still doesn't get it, Eddie still puts him on that pedestal and made him out of reach for himself to the point where he had to leave because Steve was already gone for him.

"Eddie," he says, and his heart breaks a little when the other man flinches a little at his sharp tone. "I don't ask for that, I would never ask for that, God. I just... I just want a simple, sometimes complicated, sometimes dramatic but ultimately worth it life. I want a– a boyfriend who will say weird shit sometimes because he's a fucking nerd, and who will discover things about himself when he's with me, and go to bed with that smile that tells me he's safe with me. And happy. I don't want anyone throwing away anything, I don't need anyone giving me everything, I just..." I just want you.

But the words don't quite make it past his lips, too much history forcing them shut. It's been four years.

"I don't want to make you into someone. I don't want the weight of that, the responsibility that one wrong look could make someone's entire life fall in on itself. I just..." I just want you.

And that's when he realises what he's always sort of known. That Eddie doesn't even need to ask for a second chance for Steve to hand it to him on a silver platter.

He stands again and comes between Eddie's legs again.

"I forgive you. But I want to talk. About all of this. Not just tonight, but every night. I want to know how I can help you, I want to start over, I want it to be right this time. I don't want you to ever run away again. I want you to talk to me, Eddie. And to take me with you next time you need to run. Because you don't get to run from me, okay? You don't– You don't get to do that, Eddie Munson."

Eddie looks up at him, the moonlight catching on the tears in his eyes, making them look even bigger, and Steve wishes he wouldn't look so small.

"You– But... But I'm so... broken." His hands flail a little, an aborted motion that shows nothing of his usual energy.

Steve's hands find his way to Eddie's cheeks if only to stop him from running away again.

"And I'm not gonna fix you. But I can hold you through it, and stay right where you need me to. That's what people do when–" He cuts himself off before he can say it.

But Eddie understands anyway if the way his eyes widen even more, welling up against the moonlight, is any indication at all.

"Still?"

Steve nods, his thumb stroking Eddie's cheek tenderly, wiping away the fresh tears. "Still. All you had to do was come back."

Eddie falls forward, then, and buries his face in Steve's stomach. It's not running away. It's quite the opposite, actually, and Steve holds him as long as he can.

The night is filled with many more tears as four years of anger and sadness and lostness finally find words to express them.

It's dawn when he says goodbye to Eddie at Wayne's new trailer, waving at the man drinking his coffee on the porch. Eddie holds Steve in a tight embrace for a whole minute before either of them are ready to let go, and only with the promise of Same place, same time tonight.

It's not a new beginning yet, but it's the closure they both need before the new beginning will happen in due time.

#hi if anyone else has written a part 2 for this (in a separate post or a reblog) pls tell me so i can link it too! <3 #dio words #steddie fic #steddie #i may have cried a little writing this whoops idk i hope the emotions are there i'm not sure my words are back but this is the best i have #(and i don't hate it!!!)#not sure this makes a whole lot of sense tho??#all you had to do was come back <- that's just the kinda person i am you know

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hastyprovocateur · 2 months

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Seki was such a beautifully written character in terms of his "masculine" drive to urge Akemi, his pupil whom he forged in an image no less than a man to be great versus his motherly side of having raised her and accepted her in all her naivety. Seki raised Akemi to be wise, free thinking, iron willed, creative, controlling and quick to adapt. While the first part of the show is his masculine side whiteknuckling Akemi into the Shogunate where he believes she'll flourish with power at her disposal, the rest of the show and his ultimate redemption was his motherly love of letting her go and giving her the agency to decide for herself if she wishes to choose a domestic life or the emperor's seat. His hamartia is his absolute love for her. Seki was apprehensive when Akemi began choosing for herself, bravely setting off on her own expedition, fighting dangerous entities, offering herself up for challenge, however these are the very things Seki himself excelled her in. It's akin to teaching a ferocious animal to hunt in the safety of a house, but ultimately loving it too much to keep it tethered. His love manifested from being scared of the consequences of her freedom to loving her enough to suffer the consequences of her freedom.

This love letter is to you, Seki. You raised our Akemi to the Empress she'll become.

I love these shots. It brings me peace knowing Seki met Mizu before he died, one of the rare good people in Akemi's life who fought to protect her besides himself.

#i may have cried writing this #this show is so fucking beautiful #blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #seki blue eye samurai #swordfather #ringo blue eye samurai #netflix blue eye samurai #netflix bes #bes netflix #bes analysis #blue eye samurai analysis

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mrs-gauche · 2 years

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“Your abilities declare the world real. Who, if not the Maker of this world, could grant such a gift?”

#dragon age #solas #cassandra pentaghast #dai gifs #my gifs #one of my favorite banters actually #tells you so much about him #I may or may not have cried while making this (‾◡◝)#this took so long......#love how I'm at a point where I'm basically writing screenplay before actually taking the footage lol #because I try to have the shot match the dialogue..#but I can only do so much with the flycam when there aren't different facial expressions you know 😂#it's very tricky but I love the result regardless <3 #my first edit including two of my favorite characters.. how did it take me so long? 😂

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infinitecyanroses · 6 months

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I am just so happy that Trumpet got to enjoy all the love he deserved on Dia De Los Muertos. Trumpet was well loved by q!Max when he was alive but unfortunately circumstances prevented q!Max from being there for him and because Trumpet did not get to interact with many others, he was forgotten by most of the island and fandom. Although I never got to follow Trumpet's story, I always thought it was unfair how Trumpet's existence and death got overshadowed by everything else just because he didn't get to leave a huge impression and because his death wasn't as dramatic as Juana's or Tilin's. It especially hurt when Dapper used a cobweb to represent Trumpet on his gravestone. Seeing Trumpet being showered in love though by not just people who missed him but by complete strangers to him was very beautiful though. q!Foolish told Trumpet about Leo, q!BBH got to find closure with him, q!Max got to tell him how important he is to him, and q!Bagi and q!Tina instantly bonded with and looked out for Trumpet. Seeing this new fandom attention on Trumpet is wonderful too. I know he's a fictional egg but I hope he continues to be appreciated and missed as much as the other eggs.

#qsmp #qsmp trumpet #qsmp maximus #qsmp foolish #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bagi #qsmp tina #qsmp dia de los muertos #i may or may not have cried while writing this

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asbealthgn · 1 year

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here is the last one!! thank you so much to everyone who has read these it’s been a delight but also i am NEVER posting a fic like this again lmao (this one can be read alone btw!)

Winter 2007

Steve wakes from fitful dreams to an empty bed and briefly panics. Even after twenty years, he’s still haunted by memories of the Upside Down. He still gets worried when he wakes up and can’t see Eddie.

He pushes back the covers and gets out of bed, feet hitting the cold hardwood floors. He tugs a robe on to combat the cold and then opens the bedroom door. As soon as it’s open, he hears Eddie’s voice singing quietly and he relaxes. Steve pads softly down the hall to the living room. It’s dark, but he can see Eddie by the window, silhouetted by the streetlights. He’s rocking their daughter in his arms.

Steve leans against the entryway and listens to his husband sing in his soft, husky voice. “There’s a place I like to hide, a doorway that I run through in the night. Relax, child, you were there but only didn’t realize and you were scared. It’s a place where you will learn to face your fears, retrace the years, and ride the whims of your mind.”

The floorboard creaks under Steve’s foot as he shifts his weight, and Eddie stops singing.

“Hey,” he whispers, looking back at Steve. Steve pushes off the wall and moves over to the window to join him, putting one hand at Eddie’s waist and the other on his arm by their daughter’s head.

“How is she?” Steve asks quietly.

“She’s good,” Eddie murmurs. “She was crying, but she’s her father’s daughter so she went right to sleep when I started singing Queensrÿche.”

“What a good girl.”

Smiling, Eddie turns his head to kiss Steve. “Go back to sleep, baby,” he says, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Take your time,” Steve says. He bends over to press a kiss featherlight to their daughter’s forehead, then kisses Eddie once more before heading back to their bedroom.

Before he closes the door, he takes one more look at Eddie. He’s started softly singing another song. Steve takes in the sight—his husband and his daughter. There are still nights when he wakes up screaming from nightmares, nights where he’s not sure if he’ll ever see the sun again. But nights like this when he gets to watch his little family that he’s always wanted and didn’t know if he would ever have, he feels so happy he could burst.

On nights like this, life is beautiful.

(part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

taglist: @adashofaroace @spectrum-spectre @girlwhoknewtheoriginoflove @cupc8keblonde @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @leeahpuppet @bidisastersworld @axltheedaddy @crushed-like-an-ant @whimsicalwitchm @hollysimone @awolfnamedaliac @gay-little-bitch @duckyreads @nelotegreitic @henderdads @iamsotiredman @thegingervulcan @mezmatch @stranger-poets-society @official-insanity-c @briceslayed @ohwelsh @lonestarcowpoke @lycriza @bejeweledbaby @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @cnfsd-bisexual @cheeseaddict-12 @wrenisflying @swimmingbirdrunningrock @sadcanadianwinter @ash-a-confused-enby @grtwdsmwhr @edgelordesworld @vecnuthy @lightwoodbanethings @soulminyg @notbatman00 @steve-the-hairrington @lizisodd @artiststarme @queerbeansworld @thegingerrapunzel @ceaselessly-watching @idkwwhatimmdoiing @ashlynjessi @yes-im-your-mom @steddie-there @thefailcollection @beeing-stuupid @anteaterballs @crunchiestdonut @xpaperheartso @messrs-weasley @absentlurker @panicatthediaz @thing-a-ling @bornonthesavage @momotonescreaming @slit-wrist @ironwolf11 @camachameleon @evix-syne666 @hotluncheddie @steddio @desert-fern @rotato-potato @captain-daryn @birondragon @alienace

(once again just reminding you that an extended version of this is being posted on ao3. i have 5 chapters up right now and i’m currently writing chapter 8 :D)

#i may or may not have cried writing this tbh #the steddie as dads got to me okay?#thank you thank you thank you for reading #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ficlet

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parkercore-69 · 21 days

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thank you J.R.R. Tolkien for writing the most devastating romantic subplot in your lotr books without even realising it

#im talking about sam and frodo sorry everyone #guess who like watched all the extended films and cried #whether you intepret sam and frodo’s love platonically or romantically you have to understand that they are so entwined that it is #devastating nonetheless #the forehead kiss #im on the ground sobbing #dawgs it was such a real depiction of how trauma is irreversible and will change you entirely #frodo baggins #i love him so fucking much guys #i love those little hobbits #samwise gamgee #lord of the rings #i could and most likely will write an essay on this #samfro #dawg sometimes love can be both platonic and romantic as queer love is not to be constrained by heteronormative values #sorry did i read too far into the little fantasy story #dude i was not expecting a story about the horrific effects of war racism and power corrupt addiction when i sat down in front of the telly #jokes on the side frodo looking absolutely miserable at sam’s wedding is so fucking real #i get it’s because he knows he cant move on and he is forever changed by his trauma but also that hobbit gay #his wound from the witch king never healing being a symbolic representation of his trauma FUCKS ME UP #frodo you may have been a whiny bitch at times but like yeah that ring probably did weigh a fuck ton and i was worse on my dofe expedition #i may be fucking too hard with lotr #lotr #teehee

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mistyjessart · 4 months

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My girl from a completed campaign: Yáng Shì. Yáng’s named after the Pirate Queen Zhang Yi Sao and she started the campaign as the first mate of The Oracle and girlfriend of Captain Delphi Czestech and Quartermaster Kāne Kekoa.

After events and shenanigans, she is now girlfriend-less and the Captain of The Oracle.

#i may or may not have almost cried during our last session #i love writing stories with angst #dnd art #dnd character #dnd oc #dnd oc art #dnd character art #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dragons art #dungeons and dragons character #pirates #pirate oc #pirate art #original character #oc art #character art #artists on tumblr

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sincerelyyuu · 3 days

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burning the midnight oil working on the final part of "in the end, it's still you" and somehow it's even longer than the last part 😩

#it's looking close to maybe 4-5K words depending on how carried away i get lol #may or may not have cried during writing #˚ ༘♡ ·˚ˑ༄ؘ minnie rambles

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kikiwritesfanfic · 7 months

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Mirror - Promptober Day 14

A Collaborative Piece - Read Sun's Part (written by @scarfgremlin on Tumblr aka @/rollinginmud on Discord) on Tumblr or Google Docs

Read Moon's Part on Docs or Under the Cut! WC: 3.3k

Warnings for mentions of death, blood, panicking, anxiety, trauma, derealization, mild violence, and excessive amounts of fear. NOT A HAPPY ENDING.

**********

If anyone would have tried to convince you a few years ago that there would be calm evenings spent watching movies with the lunar animatronic you had grown attached to and had moved in with you, you wouldn't have believed them.

Although, "moved in with you" was definitely up for interpretation. As far as Fazco was concerned, you had stolen him. But there was absolutely no way you were just going to leave him in the Pizzaplex after everything he was forced to go through.

Getting used to your apartment and the lack of noises that came with it took quite a long time. There were still days he would want nothing to do with being awake - opting instead for cozying up in your shared bed long after the sun had risen. When you would finally drag him out from under the covers, he would hide from the streaks of sunlight and stare a little too long through the windows at the outside world. He despised the color red - and loud, high pitched sounds would make him jump. But on the flip side, he couldn’t stand the silence. The first few nights, you didn't quite understand why he was so... distant. Sun wasn't... there anymore. He vanished along with whatever took hold of their shared system during their life in the Pizzaplex.

Realization dawned on you later that Moon had felt guilty for the events that took place in his old life. Although Sun wasn't there to torment him by constantly reminding him of the horrid things he did while under the influence of the virus, there were bits and pieces that would resurface in his mind and draw out complicated emotions he didn't want to deal with. He spent the majority of the time since his freedom started just trying to make sense of the silence that filled his mind. Between Sun's insistence that everything was his fault and the nagging voice from the virus - he was so used to everything always being so loud.

Music had become a rather large solution for him. You showed him everything you could think of - from your absolute favorites to the worst songs in existence. It was after you showed him how to play music on every device in your condo that things finally started to change for the better. It still took a long while after that to get to the progress he was at now, but it was worth it.

You shrieked, tucking your head behind your hands and into Moon's chest as he chuckled gently from above you. "Did it really scare you that bad?" he asked, wrapping his arms around you as if shielding you from the movie himself. You nodded into him as you peaked out from behind your fingers to peer at the screen again. Another jumpscare sent you leaning further into Moon as he just laughed.

After a while, you gave up on watching - opting instead for playing with the ribbons tied to Moon's wrist. He mumbled about the main character walking into a room that would obviously get him killed - pointing out all the little details as to why it was a stupid idea and laughing again when he was right. Eventually, he seemed to realize that you were no longer watching and shuffled so you could better snuggle into him. One of his hands rested on your leg while the other rubbed soothing patterns on your arm - drawing a yawn from you.

The next thing you knew, Moon was gently shaking you awake as the credits rolled on the screen. "Oh god, I'm sorry," you mumbled sleepily. Moon immediately stopped you, sitting you up so he could look at you properly.

"Don't. I know horror movies aren't really your thing," he assured, reaching over and grabbing up one of your dinner dishes. "Besides, we ought to start cleaning up so you can get to bed."

A groan fell from your lips as you rubbed your eye. But you stood up and followed him to the kitchen anyways. Moon didn't hesitate to shuffle a random playlist of songs on the Alexa in the room - immediately filling the silence.

After a few minutes, the two of you hummed and sang along to the music as you fell into the rhythm of cleaning the room. You brought in all the dirty dishes from around the condo while Moon began washing the ones that were already in the sink. Then he handed them to you so you could dry and put them away.

Before you knew it, the two of you had the dishes finished, and Moon dried his hands on the hand towel hanging from the oven door.

"You," he said, poking your nose playfully. "Need to head upstairs and brush your teeth, Starlight." You opened your mouth to protest but as soon as your eyes caught his expectant gaze, you promptly shut it. He wasn't asking.

"Fiiiine," you sighed, handing him the towel you had been using to dry the dishes. "But hurry upstairs, okay?" He gave you a playful smirk, pinching your side so you hopped out of the kitchen giggling before running up the stairs.

After he was sure that you were in the bathroom, Moon exhaled. He turned the volume on the music up higher to dissipate any possibilities of the quiet space sending a shiver down his spine. The looming emptiness of the living room still hovered in his mind as he wiped the last of the crumbs from the counters.

With one last glance over the space, he finally flipped the lights off and stared at the Alexa - tuning in to the song that was playing. It was one of the first songs you had ever shown him. A warm feeling spread throughout Moon's body as he finally told the Alexa to stop playing the music.

And then he hurried up the stairs to join you in the bathroom.

"Moonie-!" you exclaimed, the two syllables disrupted from the toothbrush still lodged in your mouth - but happily nonetheless. Moon chuckled and slinked up behind you - wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his faceplate into the back of your head. You leaned into his embrace as a giggle bubbled up in your throat.

"Moonie, huh?"

The lunar animatronic finally brought his head up to look at you in the mirror, but his entire body tensed. You blinked at his reflection - confusion drawing your brows together as you pulled the toothbrush from your mouth.

"Moon? Are you okay?" you asked. He unraveled his arms from around your waist, but never brought his gaze away from the mirror. You spun around to look at him and reached your free hand out to gently caress his face, but he flinched away from your touch.

"S-Starlight," he stuttered. He shook his head and brought his hand up to grab yours while letting off a strained chuckle. "I-I just- Thought I heard something, is all." He dropped your hand and backed another step away from you, retreating into himself suddenly. "Must've been the neighbors or something..." His voice was quiet like usual, but you knew him far too well to think nothing of the edge to his tone. Though, if he didn't want to talk about it, you weren't going to force him. So you nodded slowly and turned back to the sink to continue your nightly routine.

Moon tried to fight the urge to look back up at the mirror. Excuses ran through his brain. It was too quiet in here, that must be it. And his battery! It had to be low. Why else would he be shaking? He wasn't seeing anything in the mirror. It was just that his battery was low. All would fix itself after a long night of sleep. It was just his battery. But as Moon looked up into the mirror, he knew it wasn't true.

"Still lying to yourself with that one, are we, Moonie?"

If he had a heart it would have stopped.

If he had blood it would have run cold.

Sun.

The sound of you sputtering reached his ears. Did he say that out loud?

"M-Moon?" you said - suddenly right by his side. Worry was woven into your voice as you lifted your hand once again to touch him, but you paused midair as you remembered his earlier reaction. "Are you sure you're okay?" You could hear the sound of his internal fans kicking on, but he didn't turn when he responded to you.

"It's nothing, Starlight," he whispered. Static filled his voice as he forced himself to step forwards and place his hands on the edge of the wooden countertop. But his grip was too tight - the sound of splintering wood filled the silence within the small space. "I'm alright."

You knew he wasn't. He couldn't be.

Not with how intensely he stared at the mirror.

Not with how aggressively his body was being overcome with tremors.

But still, you gulped and nodded once more. "Okay," you said hesitantly, bringing the toothbrush back to your mouth. You stared at the tile floor as your mind raced with the possibilities of what could possibly be wrong. You had been making so much progress with him. Why was he shutting down suddenly?

"Aw, look at that. It's been how long, and you're still pushing everyone away~"

Sun's voice was characteristically cheery - sweet enough to be rotten. It made Moon's simulated breath hitch - his wires coming alive with anxiety and panic as his eyes flashed warnings of his systems overheating. He desperately clenched the edge of the countertop harder in a measly attempt to ground himself.

"Did you really think I would just forget?"

Moon let out a low growl, forcing his gaze from the mirror. He wasn't going to let his mind play tricks on him. Not again.

Sun wasn't here.

He was dead.

"Well that's no way to treat your brother, Moonie~"

A high pitched laugh reverberated through the lunar bot's mind - echoing and bouncing and haunting his every thought. But he tried his hardest to remember your words for these... episodes.

It wasn't real. None of it was real.

It was merely a ghost of his past. A trick of his coding.

Sun wasn't here. This wasn't real.

He repeated the words in his head - slumping down until he rested his head on the edge of the sink. His fingers loosened their grip on the counter, and he finally let out a breath. He was just tired. The horror movie must have just put him on edge. A long charging session full of your sleepy cuddles would surely solve the issues. You always solved his issues.

"Don't you think that's a bit unfair of you?" Sun lilted. Moon slowly lifted his head back up as his solar opposite continued, entire body trembling with anger now. "You just dump all of your problems on them when they already have so much they have to deal with. Just like you did with me." The lunar bot growled again, shaking his head as he stared into Sun's hauntingly blank eyes. "I always had to clean up your messes. You were the one to ruin everything."

"That's not true," Moon whispered, fingers gripping at the splintering wood once more. His anger was slowly slipping - turning back into the sickening guilt he so loathed. Memories he tried to bury flashed in his vision until he was seeing red.

Red - and the ominous, taunting smile of his yellow reflection.

You stumbled towards Moon, trying to get his attention as panic clouded your expression. But your voice was distant - a whisper being drowned out by the loudness of terrified screams and the gut-wrenching sound of snapping bones. Your gentle touch was like fire on his arm - the flaming hot memory of a child's grip searing through his wires.

"And she doesn't even know what you did, does she?" Sun continued, head listing to the side and casting an eerie shadow upon his friendly features. "But I do, dearest brother. I remember every last smiling face you took from the daycare. Took from me." Moon backed away from the mirror, bringing his hands to his head as he saw the faces of children he'd hurt.

No, he didn't hurt them.

That wasn't him.

"But wasn't it?"

"It wasn't me," he repeated out loud. A question left your lips as you tried desperately to understand what Moon was talking about. But it was no use. He couldn't hear you.

"Emily." The smiling face of a young girl with blonde pigtails appeared before his eyes.

"N-No-"

"Jeremiah." A boy with red hair and freckles and glasses sat with a plush.

"It wasn't-"

"Addalyn." A loud troublemaker with a knack for screaming when she was excited.

"I-I didn't do it-"

"Or what about poor little Rosalie?" Moon's body froze. "You were her favorite, were you not? She trusted you. Even in her last moments, she looked up at you with a look of pure trust behind her fear-"

Moon's body was shaking now. His hands were clawing at his face as he tried with pure desperation to get the memories to stop. To get Sun to stop. Your voice was calling his name just as desperately now, fear wrapping its claws around your heart as you watched Moon speak nonsense to himself.

"You really haven't changed one bit, have you, Moonie?" Sun continued. Suddenly the safety of the bathroom disappeared from around him and he was back in the daycare - the normally cheery song playing endlessly from above slowed down to an unnerving pace.

"Do you remember it, brother? Do you remember the feeling of their small arms between your hands?" He looked down at his fingers, reeling at the sight of the deep red covering every inch of his lower half. The state of his nails made his insides writhe - strands of dark hair and flaking blood stuck to them. He backed away, trying to put as much distance between himself and Sun as he could. He collided with something behind him and the sound of something hitting the tile floor and shattering reached his ears.

But the floor wasn't tile. It was padded. Where was he? What had he hit?

"Fragile little humans - isn't that what you always called them? Rulebreakers are easy to break. That's what you told me, right?" Sun purred, gesturing to the red mess that soaked the padded floor and pulling the lunar bot back to the present. He then crossed his arms and looked back up at Moon - smile deepening as he spoke his next words in that same sickly sweet tone.

"You'll always be a monster, Moonie~"

"No-" Moon whispered, bringing his hands back to his head as it screamed with pain. "No, no, no-" His body was shaking as sobs overtook him. He didn't mean to hurt them. He didn't want to hurt them. It wasn't his fault.

Arms encompassed his body in a hug. He didn't have the state of mind to push them away as he leaned into the embrace and cried. He cried and cried and cried. He didn't know how long he did - just that he couldn't stop. Not until the same cheery voice continued.

"How long do you think it will be before you hurt your little starlight, hm?"

"W-What?"

"It'll only be a matter of time, don't you think?" Sun asked, ignoring Moon's confusion. "Eventually you'll snap. And then you'll destroy them, right?" Moon looked up into Sun's blank eyes in fear, before shoving him away.

No, he wouldn't hurt them.

"But wouldn't you? I mean, you said the same thing about Rosalie, right?"

No, he would never hurt his starlight-

"Can't you hear the sound of their screams already? Where do you think you'd start? Their arms?"

No-

"Their legs?"

No!

"Or what about..." Sun listed his head to the side again, smile deepening. "Their heart?"

"NO!"

Moon lurched forwards, claws bared as a wild snarl left his voicebox. Static filled his voice as his hand connected with the glass of the mirror - back in the bathroom once again. His head buzzed painfully as his vision flickered from normal to red to normal again for several seconds. The sound of his internal fans whirring and his processors humming reached his ears. His body felt both cold and hot at the same time. But-

...

Sun wasn't talking anymore.

Moon looked up. The hint of a smile graced his lips.

But it was wiped clean the second his eyes settled on your form - cowering away in the farthest corner of the bathroom.

You were trembling. Arms raised protectively above your face to shield you from the fallen glass shards. Wait-

A strangled noise left his chest as he noticed the pieces of mirror lying around him. He caught your eyes, and felt his entire body go rigid.

You looked downright terrified.

Moon's hand reached out to console you. He wanted to help. He needed to. You were scared. He could soothe you.

But you flinched, eyes widening as you stared at the glitching color of Moon's irises change from blue to red and back to blue again.

Several seconds passed. You didn't dare shift a muscle. Your head ached from the blood curdling scream Moon let out a few moments prior. You shuddered at the memory.

"S-Star...?" Moon reached for you again, holding his hand out in a silent offer.

No, it was a desperate plea for you to take it.

You couldn't be afraid of him, right? You had to have seen Sun, too- Or maybe you were just scared because of the glass. It couldn't be him. He- He didn't do anything wrong. He was just- He-

Moon's hand dropped silently back to his side as you stood - ignoring him completely. Your legs were trembling from adrenaline as you held onto the bathtub to keep yourself steady.

"I- I need a moment," you whispered, the gentle tone not nearly as present as you intended it to be. Instead, your voice trembled just as bad as your body. You attempted to flash Moon a reassuring smile as his eyes settled on yours, but you couldn't manage that either. "S-See you later," you then mumbled, trying to reach out to him to seal your reassurance, but he flinched away from your touch.

Without another word, you scurried past him and rushed away to your room.

That dreadful, deafening silence filled the bathroom as Moon stared at the shards of glass on the floor. He flinched again as the sound of the bedroom door closing reached him.

...

Anger filled Moon's body as he took in the mess surrounding him. His hands clenched into fists as the image of your fear seared into his memory.

He reached up and tugged at his face again - digging his nails into his nightcap and then his neck and finally scratching at the wires at the back of his head.

He ruined it.

He ruined everything.

Just like he always did.

He terrified you.

The one thing he told himself he would never do.

His body shuddered as old protocols flashed in an overlay across his vision.

"Naughty, naughty," he mumbled, taking in the sight of the glass shards. It was everywhere - littering the floor of the bathroom like the plastic balls from the daycare. A familiar twitch in his fingers made him stand slowly.

"Rulebreakers... Clean up, clean up..."

With practiced ease, Moon walked to the small closet within the bathroom to pull out the broom. He began cleaning the shards, barely hearing the sound of them clinking together as he hummed to himself to fill the silence. Distant echoes of a life long abandoned sounded in his head.

Only as he stood straight to dispose of the glass shards did he pause, forcing his gaze to reach the broken mirror before him. His shattered reflection stared back at him - the dark tear streaks trailing from eyes down his faceplate reminding him of the staffbots he used to destroy...

Sun was right, wasn't he?

Moon closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his sunny counterpart greeted him from the mirror. Shattered and reflected several more times than before - his unchanging, haunting smile staring back in silence. Moon turned away and slowly made his way back down to the silent kitchen, not bothering to fill the silence with anything.

In the end, fear was all he could elicit from people.

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