#I really don't need to watch season 2 for the 3rd time in a week - but I might anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog · 30 days

Note

Tell me about Dean falling in love with a girl who has long covid - maybe they met when he saved her from a monster and they became friends, she occasionally helps him with research or patches him up if he gets hurt. He doesn’t hear from her for a while, and when he goes to check on her, he finds out she’s in the hospital with Covid - a monster he can’t save her from. He realizes he loves her, but may lose her. After she gets out he keeps coming to check on her because he knows she tires easily/has trouble breathing at times.

@deans-spinster-witch thank you for this ask. Actually thank you all that submit asks or sent me story prompts, I am going to get to them all, but I thought this one would be a good place to start.

First let me start off with my disclaimers:

1) I haven't see the last few seasons of SPN, so I don't know how they addressed COVID, if they did at all. So think of it as alternative timeline, not really canon.

2) My COVID representation is probably not 100% accurate, either by the reader symptoms or that I don't mention Dean wearing a mask or that he was able to be in the hospital with the reader.

3) I just POV and I think I may have jump from 2nd to 3rd person writing? I did my best to correct it, but sometimes I can't seem to correct it. Also did my best with editing, but I am sure I missed something. Flashbacks are bold italic and internal thoughts are just italic.

4) I am not sure if this is 100% what you were looking for. It does end on a cliffhanger, so I will be posting a second part. It was getting hella long coming in at 7,500 words. 😬 sorry.

5) swearing, hints of past trauma that we may get more in the second part. Self doubt/hate. Angst heavy!

Okay think that's it. It's a Y/N x Dean focus story with Sam making an appearance via phone. Characters are not mine but the work is. So please don't post as your own.

Feel free to like, reblog, send me feedback in the comments. And if you have a story idea, send it my way via asks or message. Or if you want me to tag you on my work let me know.

Okay think I have stalled long enough. Here it is, my first story back from 3 year break.

JUST BREATHE-

"Excuse me, sir, you can't be up here." A female voice, strong, laced with exhaustion, mixes with the sounds of the hospital. Doctors are being paged, staff are going in and out of rooms, and machines are monitoring patients. All of it, white noise, too, Dean. Because he can't look away or tear his eyes from what is in front of him. Y/N is lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a ventilator. What happened? How did it come on so strong and so fast? He had just seen you last week when he came through town on his way to his next hunt. Picking up research that you had done for him since Sam was working on another case in California. You were the best…no, are, you are the best researcher he knows…you have to get better; you can't…

"Sir! I will have to ask you to leave if you're not family. The ICU is only for families." The female voce, insistent on getting him to pay attention to her. Tired, she was just so damn tired of no one listing to her today; she had better things to do than police people about.

"How long has she been here?" Dean asks, his voice firm but slightly wavering. He can't look away, watching as the vent goes up and down, breathing for you. Y/N, come on, you have to pull through; I can't lose you, Dean thinks, trying his best not to break. He prayed to God if he thought it would help if he thought the ass would be listing.

"Sir, I can't give that information if you're not family." Dean looks away from you for a moment, noticing the nurse standing beside him. She is dressed in blue scrubs, her hair pulled back, and a mask on. He can tell she is on her last nerve with him, and he has to win her over. He can't leave you, not now. "So, are you family?" she asks again.

"Umm…" He knew he needed to lie. If he told her that you were just a friend, he would never get answers and would never get back to this floor again. It was dumb luck that he could get your room number out of the receptionist downstairs. He pulled himself together to give her his winning smile and wink. "She's my sister." Clearing his throat, he looked back to you.

The nurse looks down at the chart in her hand. "Miss. Moore didn't have a brother listed as next of kin, but then again, a neighbor brought her in." Looking back up to Dean, he doesn't respond. "How about we go somewhere a little more private to discuss your sister's condition?" She lightly grabs Dean by the shoulder and turns him away from the window and you.

********

Dean did his best to listen to the nurse, but all he really wanted to do was get back to you. It was driving him crazy that he couldn't do anything; this wasn't caused by a demon, monster, or anything in his wheelhouse. You were brought in about a day or two after he had seen you. Your neighbor had come over to borrow something and saw you in the window, passed out on the floor. COVID had hit you hard, and you just couldn't shake it; your lungs filled up so fast with fluids that you passed out.

That was a week ago; you had been in the hospital for a week and on a ventilator. The doctors feel that your body just needs time to fight off the infection.

"She seemed fine when I saw her last; how could this happen?" Dean questions, trying to be as respectful as possible without raising his voice and getting kicked out.

"COVID hits everyone differently; we really don't know why. Some people may never get it, and some…" Not finishing her statement, the nurse looks away from Dean.

"Can I go back and sit with her?" Dean asks, more like pleading with her. He just wants to ensure you're doing alright and stand watch until you wake up. He doesn't know what else to do.

"I am sorry, but no," the nurse replies as kindly as possible. Seeing that he will protest this, she quickly adds, "But, you can come back during visiting hours. You won't be able to go in the room; we have to keep it clean because of COVID, but you can see her from the window." Hoping this will be a compromise he can live with. She doesn't want him to get upset and have to call security and have him escorted out. She can tell he cares for her and is scared.

Dean will take it; he knows he has to. You're the strongest person he knows. You will get through this; you have to. "Alright, I guess I will come back then," Dean says, getting up from the table.

********

Walking out of the hospital, Dean calls Sam to tell him what is happening and that he wasn't leaving until you were back home. Screw the world, let the monsters run amuck, and let demons rain hell on earth; he had more important things to do. "I don't care, Sammy, I am not leaving again. This is the only number you can reach me at, and only you," he says, getting into the Impala and firing it up.

"Alright, Dean. I hear you. Do you want me to come? I am almost done here." Sam offers, knowing that Dean won't take him up on it.

"No, I am good, but thanks. You stay on the West Coast until the world calms itself down." Letting the engine run for a bit, Dean takes a second. This has been the longest they have been working apart. It's been hard on both of them, but at least Dean has you to talk to. He has been leaning on you more since Sam was in California. Could Dean have caused this? Was he asking too much of you?

"Dean, hey, you still there?" Sam breaks through his intrusive thoughts.

Clearing his voice, "Yeah."

"You know, she will get through this. She's going to be okay," Sam says, trying his best to reassure him and get him out of his head because even if they are miles apart, he knows his brother. Dean is blaming himself right now for something that he can't control.

“Yeah, I know… I just… what if I…..”

"No, don't think like that, and don't think you had anything to do with this happening." Sam quips back, knowing where his brother's thoughts are going, and he will not have him spiraling out.

"But I ask so much of her. You know she will never say no. Even when she has other things to do, she always drops everything when I ask for a favor. God, I am such a user…"

"No, you're not. Y/N is strong, and she said she would tell you if she didn't want to do something. She wants to help; she thrives on researching this stuff, and you know it." Sam states, "Come on, you know she would rather research lore or listen to one of your 'tales from the front lines,' as she likes to call them, any day of the week."

The thought of you saying these words to him as you patch him up, 'Alright, Dean, what tales to do we have this time?' or how your voice would be giddy when he called you about a case he found. "Yeah, you're right, Sam," Dean replies. Feeling a bit better after talking with Sam, he always knows how to keep him from spiraling too much.

"I know I am; now go get some rest. She's going to need you when she wakes up."

"Night brother"

After hanging up the phone, Dean didn't want to go to a hotel or bar, but he was now wired and needed to do something. Pulling out of the parking lot was second nature, and he found his way to your driveway.

Sitting there, looking at the modest, two-bedroom, two-bath house, he would consider a second home for as much time as he has spent there. It was odd to think about walking through that door and you not being there. When getting out of the car, the sound of the door opening and closing is the only noise that breaks up the silence of the night. Taking a few steps, Dean stops himself from knocking like he usually does. Habit, he thinks. Pulling his keys out, he flips until he finds the one for your house.

It was an argument you had won, not that he didn't want a key. Of course, he did, but he didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands should something happen.

"No, I don't need a key, Y/N," Dean protest, not wanting to have this conversation right now.

"Yes, you do; now take it." You say, holding out the key for him to take.

"I don't need it; you're always here. Why would I need to get into your place when you're not here?" he questions. Finishing off his beer, he gets up from the couch and heads toward the kitchen. "You want another one?" he asks, trying to change the subject.

You get up and follow him. "Don't change the subject, Winchester," you say, following him and sitting on a kitchen stool. What if I wasn't home tonight?"

Tossing the empty bottle in the recycle bin and turning to face her, he can tell by the severe look on your face that this is an argument that he won't win. But why make it easy on you. "But you were," giving you a smirk, he opens the fridge to pull out two more bottles. "Besides, where would you be on a Friday night? You have a hot date I don't know about?" he questions. Handing one of the bottles to you.

He struggles slightly to open the bottle with his left hand since his right is currently in a sling. After putting his shoulder back into place and stitching him up, you open the beer in your hand, hand it to him, and take the other one from him. "Maybe," you say cryptically, a twinkle in your eyes.

"Really? Didn't know you were dating anyone?" Dean is slightly put off by this. It's not that someone would want to date you; it's the opposite. You're beautiful, and he always wonders how you were still single after all this time. Intelligent and funny, any guy would be lucky to call you his. Heck, he would like to call you his.

"I am not," you say, putting him out of his misery and his slight spiral of another guy touching her, kissing her… But I could still be out. Do you want to be sitting out in your car waiting for me to get home?" you question, pushing the key towards him. "Just take the dam key. It's only a key. I am not asking you to move in with me."

If you asked him that, he would say yes in a heartbeat. But the reality of his life, what he and Sam do for a living, gives him pause to take the key. "I just don't want anyone else to get their hands on it."

"Who, like Sam? Of course, you can give a copy to Sam." You joke, knowing what he's getting at but trying your best to keep this conversation light.

"No, not Sam. I am thinking Crowley, another demon or monster, or worse, Lucifer. I would hate for anyone other than Sam or me to get their hands on this and come after you."

"Dean, that's not going to happen."

"But it could, you know it could."

Letting out a sigh, you decide to pull out the big guns to get him to take this damn key. "A key is not their first choice to get in. You have put up all the wards you could think of." You say, proving that you are as safe as possible. "Heck, you made me even get this thing." Snapping off your leather bracelet to show off the anti-possession tattoo. "and you know how much I hate needles." The black tattoo shows nicely against your light skin and hides the other barely visible scars.

"Yeah, I found out real quick that day. I think I still have scars on my arm from you digging your nails in," he jokes, bringing his hand up to his wrist to run his fingers around the tattoo and the scars he knows are there.

"Haha, that's real funny." You fake laugh. " Just take it, please. It will make me feel better if you have it." You do your best puppy dog eyes as you push the key closer to him.

Dean takes a moment before caving. "Alright, but I am only going to use it for emergencies." he conceits, taking his keys out and putting your house key on the ring with the rest.

Getting up from the stool, you smile at him, "Thank you, Dean," you say sweetly and hug him.

Dean shakes his head, trying to shake the thoughts from that night, as he shuts the door behind him. He stood in the entryway, just taking in the quietness of the house, holding his breath, waiting for you to come down the hallway, saying, ‘Dean, you look like shit; what were you up against this time? Let me get you patched up, and you can tell me all about it.’ Guiding him to the kitchen, you would pull the first aid kit and a beer from the fridge.

Watching these memories play out in front of him, it's not until he lets out a shaky breath that he had been holding that he feels the tears run down his face, "Fuck! Y/N, you got to get better, okay…." choking back, "I can't lose you." The thought of losing another important person in his life. Someone who should have a happy and long life and who, without them, Dean wouldn't be standing here today. He owes everything to you.

Dean can't bring himself to step past the entryway, feeling like an intruder. "I can't…" feeling pressure in his chest, he turns and walks out the door. Locking the door and making the short walk to his car, the pressure subsides once he is in the driving seat. Knowing he can't stay in the house. Too many memories of you and his dark thoughts will keep him up. He also can't put the car in drive and go to the motel just outside of town. It's like his body won't let him leave.

*******

Y/N POV

You were in the hospital for two weeks, and Dean was by your side, or somewhat outside your hospital room, every day, every hour he could be. At least that is what the nurse told you once you were awake. Your 'brother' Dean has been by your side. The first time they told you this, you looked confused, which caused concern from the staff.

"Your brother, Dean," the nurse says again, her voice laced with concern as she points to the window that looks into your room from the hallway.

You turn your head slightly, your body stiff from being in bed for so long, and the breathing tube just being taken out. There you see him, Dean Winchester, raising his hand to give you a short wave, and a look of relief washes over his face, which is covered with a slightly heavy five-clock shadow. You give him a smile and look back at the nurse. "Yeah, sorry, of course, he's my brother. Just didn't know anyone called him?" you reply, "Can I have some water?" you ask, you're throat feeling like sandpaper.

"Sure," the nurse says, filling a cup and handing it to you. "Well, the doctor will be in soon," she says, giving you a short smile and walking towards the door.

"Umm, can my brother come in?" you ask. Knowing that no matter what she says, Dean will make it in here one way or the other. The nurse hesitates. "It's just that I would like him to hear what the doctor says. I am still groggy, not sure I am going to remember everything he tells me," you add, hoping this will pull on her heartstrings just a bit.

Which does work, "Sure." she replies, giving you a smile and then walking out the door. She briefly talks to Dean before walking away, and Dean enters the room.

"Hey, sweetheart," Dean says, shutting the door behind him and walking towards you.

"Hey yourself," you reply. You try to sit up a bit more, but you struggle a bit.

Dean quickly gets to you. " Here, let me," he says, finding the remote for the bed, setting you upright, and then readjusting your pillows. "Good?" he asks once it looks like you're settled.

Feeling slightly embarrassed that he saw you like this, you’re sure you're a mess, bed hair, hospital gowns, and oh man…your breath has got to stink by now, right? Trying your best not to breathe out, "Yeah, thanks." you quickly reply. Dean sits in the chair next to your bed but doesn't say anything. Okay, guess you will start. "So brother, hum?" you quip.

He smiles at this and looks away from you to the bedding. "Yeah, I had to say something; otherwise, they would never let me back in." Then, looking back at you, a slight panic sets in that you might be mad at him for this small lie. " You're not mad, are you?" he asks.

"No, of course not," you reply, wanting to reassure him that everything is fine. This does, as relief washes over him a second time. You hold out your hand for him to take. "Just wonder what Sam will say about having a little sister, that's all. I am sure he will hate being the middle child," you joke.

Dean gives a short laugh: "Oh, Sammy will be all right with it. He will be happy to hear you're awake, is all." Dean's fingers rubbing your hand back and forth are nice.

"How did you know I was here?" you ask, trying to remember the day before you were brought in, but it's all a blur. Was he coming to see you? Was he working on a case?

"I was coming back through, and you had helped me with the case in North Carolina…" lowering his voice, even though you're in a private room," that Dinji." Dean recounts, seeing you not remember. He continues, "I stopped by your place, and your neighbor was out and said you were in the hospital."

None of that is registering at all, like last month, which is a blank slate. Fuck, what else are you not remembering? "And you have been here this whole time?" you ask, wondering what the state of the world must be like if he has taken himself out of saving the world for two weeks! Is Sam okay?

Dean's eyes, bright green, lock with yours, cocking his head slightly to the side, with slight confusion at your shock that he was here the whole time. "Of course, where else would I be? I wasn't going to leave you alone here," he says, a matter of fact.

You're about to reply to this, ask more questions, ask how Sam is, but before you can, the doctor enters the room. "Miss. Moore, welcome back," he says, looking at your chart and then at you and Dean. And this must be your brother?" he asks, holding his hand for Dean to shake.

Dean does, letting go of yours, the loss of him, his touch is apparent. "Hey, doc, when can I take my sister home?" Dean asks.

The doctor starts to talk, but you're not listening; your mind drifts to Dean. He put his life on pause for you? Wow, that's something, but you're sure he would do it for Charlie, Jody, Claire, or Alex, right? Yeah, of course. Dean sees you as family, which is what you are to him; that's what you will always be. Yes, you were close. He and Sam saved you from the vampire nest, explained everything about their world, and gave you a purpose.

You feel a slight pressure in your chest. Now that you're awake, how long will he stay before he leaves again?

"So I will get the nurse to start the discharge paperwork, and you guys should be out of there in a few hours," the doctor says. Giving you a smile.

Not hearing anything but that, you just smile back and look towards the window. You hear Dean thank the doctor, and he leaves the room. "nice guy," Dean says, filling up the silence.

"Yeah," you reply. You’re not sure what you are feeling; it's almost like a weight on your chest, pressure. Maybe it is COVID; it will be better once you get home. It has to, right?

******

You didn't know Dean could fuss over you more if he tried. He insisted that he be the one to wheel you out of the hospital, only after he made sure the car was pulled up as close to the door as possible so you didn't have to walk too far. Then, when he pulled into your driveway, he insisted he carry you the short walk to the front door.

"No, Dean, I can walk. My legs aren't broken; I had COVID, that's all." you quip back as he comes over to your side of the car to pick you up.

"The doctor said you shouldn’t over-exaggerate yourself, that's all," he replies, trying again to wrap his arms around your waist and pick you up from standing against the closed car door.

You block his hands again. As much as you would like his arms around you, have him cradle you; where is this coming from? You also don't want him to hurt himself, or God forbid the neighbors see him carrying you bridle style. "Yeah, walking the three feet to my front door is not going to kill me." This comment is like a punch in the gut for Dean; it's written on his face. Shit, was my COVID scare that much of an effect on him? But why? Trying to write your wrong, you try to play it off. "Come on, man, I have been on my back for two weeks and must move a little bit." You quip back. Playfully pushing him aside and walking towards the door.

You get to the door but realize you don't have your keys, you didn't have those, or your phone when you were brought into the hospital. You wait for Dean to come up behind you. He doesn't say anything, pulling out his keys; he opens the door and lets you walk in first. You shuck off your jacket and shoes and go to the living room. Sitting on the couch, you try to hide the sigh of exhaustions that you feel from the small activities you just did; but it slips past your lips and is not lost on Dean.

"Want me to make you some tea? You hungry?" Dean asks.

"No, I want you to tell me what's happened since I was in the hospital. Did all the evil in the world decide to take a break while I was out, and that's how you got to have some time off?" you question, motioning him to sit next to you on the couch.

Dean shrugs at this, "No. I just told Sam I was taking myself off the board, is all." he says casually.

"Taking yourself off the board? Hum, I didn't know you guys could do that," you ask, Giving him an intuitive look.

Dean is giving you nothing back, shaking his head, looking around the room, and clapping his hands together. He points towards the kitchen, "I am going to make that tea for you." He walks away before you can stop him, leaving you to your thoughts. Something else is happening, and you know who to call to get the truth out.

******

Making that call seem more complicated than usual since Dean didn't leave your side for anything. Three days, three days of hovering and mothering you, and as much as you care for Dean, and possibly secretly loved him. Let's face it, those chest tightening pains at the hospital, the loss of his touch was not COVID symptoms, it was your heart telling you what you already knew. You were in love with Dean Winchester, and the fact that he dropped everything for you made your head spin and feel like the most important girl in the world. But you are a realist, and Dean Winchester is out of your league. He sees you as the little sister he got settled with, not the girl he wants to kiss and do other things with.

On top of that, you are sure his opinions of you drop a few points since you found out really quick that to pass the time while he waited for you to wake up, he decided to clean your house from top to bottom. The sheer embarrassment when you found out had you want the couch to swallow you up right there. "Excuse me, you did what?" you ask, thinking you didn't hear him right when you ask; the following day, a book you usually had on your coffee table was now on the bookshelf that it was never on.

"I did some cleaning while you were…" Dean says, not finishing that statement while he grabs the few dishes off the coffee table and heads towards the kitchen. He never finishes that statement. Whenever he says it, he never says 'when you were in the hospital' or 'when you were sick.' After three days of the hanging statement, you get frustrated over that.

But knowing he cleaned your house, how clean is clean? Did he do your laundry? Yep! Did he clean under your bed and put stuff away on your nightstand? God forbid he did a deep clean in your closet—oh, the embarrassment. "Why?" you ask, now following him, waiting for an answer that you sure won't come.

Dean has his back to you, rinsing off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. "What? It's not a big deal. I had time, plus the nurse thought it was a good idea for you to come home to a clean hose." He says while wiping down the counter.

You try your best to breathe and calm down. Yes, all that is true, a clean house to come home too make sense. But having him go through your personal and private things, fuck, him cleaning your underwear. He will never look at you as desirable again, not like he did before. You look up from the floor to see him watching you, waiting for a reply. "thanks, I guess," you say, defeated. "I am going to go take a shower." You say, needing just a few minutes by yourself, shake off this feeling of rejection you know he doesn't realize he caused.

"You need some help?" he asks, approaching you and walking a step behind you.

You take a second, knowing again that he just wants to help, but God treats you like an old woman. Because you know that his offer of 'helping you out' in the shower does not imply sexy times; it's he saying he thinks you are weak and that you're going to get tired, fall, and hurt yourself. You get to the bathroom door. "No, I got it, thanks," you say, opening the door and shutting it before he can say anything.

*****

Dean POV

I know I am being overprotective, maybe even going overboard with not letting her do anything, and perhaps the deep clean was an overreach. But in my defense, I thought I could lose her, and if she was going to, no, when she was going to come home, I wanted it to be in a clean, COVID-free house.

I turn away from the bathroom door and walk towards the living room. I start to clean up, picking up the discarded blanket from my makeshift bed; even though she has a spare room, it's on the second floor away from her, and I want to be close in case she needs me in the night.

The rigging of my phone pulls me from my thoughts of her. Picking up, I see it's Sam. "Hey, what's up?" I ask, dropping the blanket and myself onto the couch.

"Just checking in, how's Y/N?"

"Good, still low energy, but I am just happy she’s walking and talking, even if I am annoying her."

"You, annoying her, I can't believe it," Sam says, with fake shock. "You know she can take care of herself; she has been doing that for some time now." Sam reminds me. Knowing that my hovering is coming for a place of love for Y/N, but it could be doing more damage than good.

"I know, it's just…" I pause briefly, looking back to see the closed bathroom door. "Sam, she just looked so helpless there lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to those machines…and there was nothing I could do…nothing that could save her…I just had to wait."

Sam knows that's not my strong suit, "I know, I get it, but maybe just ease off a little. I am sure it's making her feel like a burden, you doing everything for her."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I will try."

"I know I am." He clears his throat and paused briefly before asking what he knew I would not want to answer: "So when are you heading back to the bunker?"

I pause momentarily; the idea of leaving you hadn't crossed his mind. "Umm…" Hearing the door open, he looks to see you walking out of the bathroom and down the hallway to your room, wrapped in your navy-blue plaid robe, hair slightly damp from the shower. "Not sure yet, but I will keep you posted. I got to go." I say quickly, hanging up the phone. I know that she can take care of herself, but at the same time, I don't want to leave her again; what if I do and something happens, and there is no one here to save her again. Sam's right, though; I have to back off, or I am liable to smother her.

*****

Y/N POV (about a week later)

Something seems to have changed in Dean in the last few days. It was like the old carefree Dean was back. He hovered less, not watching my every move, and even went on a quick day trip to the bunker to pick up more books for me to read since I had read everything in my place twice, and if I was going to be stuck inside I wanted to do something productive. Granted, I had to ride shotgun on this trip, so although we got out of the house, I was still under his protective eye. But he wasn't babying me anymore; he cracked jokes, smiled, and even complained when I made him watch the same movie repeatedly.

Dean was going on a food run, and this was one outing he didn't let me go on. Too many people, could possibly get sick again, so he didn't want to risk it. But he also hated doing it, leaving you alone. "You're sure you're going to be fine," he asks again, standing in the doorway, you on the other side, trying your best not to push him out and lock the door.

"Yes, Dean, you'll be gone for an hour. I think I can survive." you quip, pushing him playfully, "Go, I promise, no running around the house with scissors or jumping on the bed. I will keep my butt on the couch until you get back."

Dean's worried face slightly softens, knowing that you will be fine, but that pit in his stomach—the thought of him walking out that door again and not having you in his sight—will never go away. "Okay, but call me if you feel off," he reminds you again.

"Yes, now go." You reply with a smile. Yes, he was getting on your nerves slightly, but you still loved the guy for it.

You watch as he pulls out of the driveway and down the road before you head inside. Walking to your room, you find your cell phone charging, and you quickly make the call you've been waiting to make since you got home.

He picked up on the second ring: "Y/N, everything alright? Dean texted me to say he was going on a food run. Do you need him? Are you not feeling well?…" Sam blurts out, a lengthy, run-on statement that has you slightly spinning.

Trying your best not to laugh at him. "Sam, calm down; I am good. I just wanted to talk to my friend. How are you?" you ask, wanting to ease into this discussion. Plus, you really did want to know how he was doing; ever since you came home, you only talked to Sam when Dean would call him and have him on speakerphone. Even then, Sam was instructed not to speak about cases he was working on. Dean had a theory that possibly COVID was stress-induced, but you know it wasn't.

"I am good, making my way back to the bunker. I have a case in Wisconsin, so I'm in your area. I was thinking of seeing you guys once it's done."

"Oh yes, please do, Sam. It's been ages since we've hung out together. I feel like a movie marathon is needed."

"Yeah, if you're up for it. Dean tells me you get tired easily. Is anything else not the same?"

"Umm…brain fog for sure; I lost all memory of the week before I went into the hospital. Some things don't taste the same. But honestly, Sam, can we not talk about me for a bit. Tell me about the case in Wisconsin; what are you hunting this time." You inquire, done talking about yourself, need a distraction, and avoid asking Sam what you want to know.

Sam, being the best friend, a girl could ask for, knew that a distraction from your symptoms was what you needed, and although it would be breaking his promise to Dean, he could hear it in your voice, the need for some kind of normalcy, at least what normal is considered for us. Giving you all the details, you can come to the same conclusion that it was a vengeful spirit and a simple salt and burn job is in order.

Once Sam is done talking about Wisconsin, a lull in the conversation forms, and you look at the clock to see Dean should be home soon. "Sam, can I ask you something?" You feel slightly nervous and try to figure out how to phrase your question.

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

Taking a breath, you wait a second before asking, "How was Dean when he found out I was sick? He said he 'took himself off the board' and has been hovering since I got home. He's gotten better, but those first few days, it was like he was a different person."

Sam can tell by the last statement that you're trying to bring some levity to an otherwise heavy question, a question that he is surprised you have to ask. taking a breath, he thinks about how to say, ‘You idiot, he loves you! and you love him!'

"I am glad to hear that he's lost up the reins a bit," giving a chuckle, "but honestly, Y/N, he was devastated. I know he's my big brother, and he tries his best to hide his emotions, but I could tell that night when he called to tell me what happened, he was scared. Scared that he was going to lose you, scared that he might have caused this to happen to you."

"How could he have caused COVID? I mean, I get he sometimes can have a big ego, but, come on, he can't cause an infection."

"No, but he thinks he has been asking too much of you, wearing you down. I can't say whether he's right or wrong. You and I know you occasionally burn the candle at both ends."

"Yeah, I am trying to get better at that. But Sam, he was treating me like I was 90 years old. He wouldn't let me do a thing around here. And did he tell you he cleaned my house—my whole house—before I got home? I mean everything."

"Oh man, I am sure you were not happy to hear about that."

"Your damn right. I wasn't."

"Look, it's not my place to say, but I will tell you this, remember that night when you and I got a little tipsy, and you might have let slip your feelings for a certain green eye hunter?"

Fuck, of course, he remembers that night; that was right after you had helped him and Dean take down a wraith, and Dean was out on a beer run. "Yeah, you asked me why I never seem to be dating anyone, and I said I can't be with the one guy I want, so why be with the wrong guy at all."

Sam waits for you to connect the dots, and although you're not sitting in front of him, Sam has a feeling you're making the connections: "Let's just say Dean has the same idea, and he has his eye on a hazel eye researcher that he thinks he can't have."

You're about to protest Sam's statement that Dean has no feelings for you other than sibling love, but before you can, you hear the front door open and Dean yelling, "Honey, I am home," sweetly.

"I've Got to go, Sam. Talk soon," you say, and hang up before he can reply.

*********

Sam's words kept rolling around in your mind all night, distracting you from Dean. During dinner, you were quiet, letting him lead the conversation and not making it known when he mentioned Sam might be stopping by in a day or two that you two had talked earlier. "Oh, okay, sounds good." you responded, still thinking, 'He has his eye on a hazel-eye researcher that he thinks he can't have.'

Dean went for girls that were the complete opposite of you, blonde, curves in all the right places without an ounce of fat to be seen, the girl that guys walk across fire for, not the girl that they run into fire to get away from. Not the girl who is socially awkward around strangers, who can put her foot in her mouth easier than anyone, and who has more of a backstory than is worth mentioning. No, Dean goes for simple, noncomplex girls, which makes sense, given his life is entirely of danger and complexity. Why go for a girl to add to it.

Dean can tell your mind is elsewhere, and he is slightly worried that you're lost in your head or that this might be another symptom. "Hey, space cadet, you with me? Because if you're not watching the movie, I will gladly turn it to something we haven't seen twice this week," he jokes, hoping to make fun of the situation.

His voice shakes you from your thoughts, and you look over at him; his eyes have just a hint of worry to them. The blanket across both of you, him in a simple white t-shirt and sleep bottoms, you in gray leggings, tank top, and open cardigan. Perfection, you and Dean cozy up on the couch, not a care in the world, him teasing you about your love of disaster movies, and you forcing him to watch the same one repeatedly, and he does; why? Because he loves you. He loves you like a sister, a friend, someone he cares for, just not someone he’s IN love with.

"yeah, sorry, I think I am just going to go to bed." You shake off that last statement: he's not IN love with you. God, you really know how to cut yourself deep, don't you? Getting up from the couch, you grab your water glass and head towards your room.

Dean gets up with you, "here, let me help you," he says, walking around the couch and placing a hand on your lower back.

This is the last straw, the final statement of his wanting to help you, again treating you like you're helpless. "Stop! Just stop!" you yell, feeling yourself boil with rage you knew you had been keeping at bay. You know his hovering is with the best intentions, but for you, it's blurring the lines between what you want from him and what you know he can give you. Your mind won't let it be accurate even after what Sam told you today.

Dean stops his hands from touching you, standing still like he is frozen in time. "Y/N, hey, I just want to help. You look tired, is all." His voice is soft and sweet.

He’s trying to placate you, like he would a child or grandparent, "Dean, I am fine; I can walk ten feet to my room on my own and not get lost or fall down, okay!" You lock eyes with him and see his face fall, and in that moment, you know that he's hurt; you've only ever yelled at him when you were injured and need him to find you. But that was screaming for him, not at him. You know that you should feel bad for your outburst, you do, but you know that this is not real, that this ideal version of him and you playing house can't last.

"What is wrong? Is this another symptom? Did something happen while I was out?" he asks, wanting to understand your sudden change since this morning. You start walking away from him, wanting to get into your room and away from him, knowing he will get the truth out of you. You don't want to hear his excuses or him placate you even more about why he and you will never be a thing.

You turn halfway down the hall to look back at him, standing there watching you. "No! It's not! I am a capable woman who can take care of herself. Stop treating me like I am dying, Dean! You saved me once; that should be enough for you." Turning back, you reach your door, hand on the handle to open it, when you hear Dean.

"What does that mean?" Dean questions, his footsteps pad against the hardwood floors, standing right behind you; you can feel his breath on your neck, "I know you are capable; you are the strongest woman I know." his voice low, sending shivers down your body, you feel his hand on your arm, turning you around to face him. He sees your tear-stain cheek, "Fuck, Y/N, talk to me; what is going on? Why would you say saving you once was enough?"

Your eyes, trying and failing to hold back the tears, are now on the brink of spilling out. He needs to just let you go. You lean back against the door, knowing he took that little movement as exhaustion, and you are. You are exhausted by talking about this repeatedly, tired that he just can't let you leave, won't give up, and will go back to seeing you only when he needs something. He needs to go back to his life and let you put him back into the box of things that you don't let yourself have. Taking a breath, you run your hands over your face, wiping the tears and pushing them back inside. Putting on your brave face, "You know, Sam will be here in two days. I think you should go back with him. Go back to the bunker, and 'put yourself back on the board.'"

Throwing his line back at him, telling him he needed to return to work and that you would be fine without him. Will you, though? In time, maybe? You turned the door handle and stepped into the room, never breaking your eye contact with him. He shut the door in his face and flipped the lock, not giving him a chance to speak, knowing that he would not force his way in.

To be continued

#supernatural #fanfic #fanfiction #dean winchester #writing prompt #fandom #supernatural fanfiction #dean fan fiction #dean x curvy!reader #dean x chubby reader #dean x reader angst #dean x y/n #dean winchester angst

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fountainpenguin · 12 days

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"I'm not the kind of girl to get messed up with you- Hello! ... You're all right, but I'm here, darling, to enjoy the party..." (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 31 - “Flame (Etho, Skizz, Pearl)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

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Scar files a microaggression complaint with the HALO team. Pearl helps Scott settle in while he recovers from glitchy code. They have a spat that's not about a sticker.

Meanwhile, SnifferMyFeet and Etho separate their souls… and start an honest talk about Sniff's identity as Sniff, not Joel. It was needed. It's for the best.

(First 900 words under the cut)

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Etho - Fox

Status: Resting

Self-taught programmer, full-time hero

💙 💙 💙

He gets it now.

It's like ice in your water. It's like marshmallows in your cocoa. It's like wind beneath your wings. The final week before he's due back in Between (reluctantly, but definitely due), Etho flops on his bed and sprawls his arms to either side. Is he giddy? He doesn't mean to be, but this feels…

… Oh, it's a game-changer. Which is exactly what he texts Cleo after scooping up his admin panel. They won't see it if they've left their private server, and since Session 2 of Dog's Life could be starting any day now, there's no telling how long that may take.

Etho: hey so Etho: remember after limlife 4 or 5 when we talked about burnout?

Grocery shopping. For a family dinner- he and Cleo both made one (like a peace offering) in a way that wasn't really flirty married life roleplay, but more like… regular, everyday person roleplay. Did all their shopping together so they wouldn't cook the same thing. Call it 'date night' if you want; he walked her home and there might've been a little 'dramatic logout' roleplay in there. We don't… We don't need to go into detail about it.

To some people that's romantic and to some it's completely gross. Not really sure why… It's a natural process, isn't it? Soul-eaters can't help being what they are, and you may as well snap at endermen hybrids for struggling with eye contact or shame unthreaded players if they expose their glitches instead of keeping them covered up. This world's too big and life too long for arguing. Do you really want to make enemies and be rude to people who are going to carry the echo of your words for the rest of their lives?

Lend a helping hand. Extend a little kindness. Be polite. Respond to the hurt. Try not to avoid responsibility when others are counting on your strength. Sit with the injured, even when the night is cold. They're simple goals, but so easily forgotten these days.

Etho: I think you said if I felt stuck then I should break my routine for a while

Nothing happens for several minutes. Etho rotates words without meaning through his head, then types out something else.

Etho: you were right. I get now why you go on adventures with Martyn. Why you let him and no one else log you out all the time. Thanks for the advice. Let me know next time you need a favor. Rating this cycle 10 of 10 and I owe you big xD

He takes a long, guilt-free nap in his cushioned bed. Catching up on block updates and videos really drains a guy (especially this close to the end of the Hermitcraft season, not to mention Vault Hunters and a Life series on top of it), but he spent all morning prepping the bed and it's already providing every agonizing tick of its worth. Two hours later, he's stirred awake by a buzz on the admin panel.

ZombieCleo: yay! So glad that worked for you <3 I want to hear all about it. Maybe in a couple weekends you can watch MCC with me and the kids + Martyn? If we catch a minute alone, I can recommend more stuff you might be into ;)

The kids refers to Bdubs and Scar, who skated through Limited Life like energetic teenagers spreading their wings. It's goofy, it's endearing, and Cleo's got her roleplay voice on because she knows it makes him snort. His tail gives a twitch as he tries to keep a smirk from creeping out behind his mask.

Martyn, huh? he muses, but doesn't say that. Cleo circles between lovers, friends, and exes like a pollinating bee.

Etho: whoaaaa Etho: inviting a fox? that's dangerous! ZombieCleo: nose out of your tail, fur boy Etho: dibs on Martyn, I see ZombieCleo: If you're serious about returning the favor, Martyn says Rhetoric's down here and this might be our best chance at smash and grabbing from your mum's museum Etho: Hm… ZombieCleo: I mean, you did leave my eggshell when you rescued Grian and that other soul

Yeah- it looked distressed. Now Sniff's down here. He can actually talk now when he couldn't before. Honestly, not the worst decision he could've made.

If anyone's going to try getting into the Fox Dragon's museum, a fox has the best chance of doing so. It's kept separate from the nesting cave where souls respawn, but even the deadliest traps won't keep foxes out since they'll just respawn. Unless they're traps that can't be dodged even with careful planning, or some sort of system that short-circuits code. The phantom roost is nearby, right? Frankly, phantoms are excellent trackers, they can fly, and they're probably the fastest of all non-swimming hybrids, so a phantom alone provides great security as-is.

Etho: I'll think about it. Not tonight, though. Full moon fox face isn't for me. Also if there are raiders there then that's probably the worst time to show up ZombieCleo: Fair ZombieCleo: I can think of something else, but if you ever get the chance, I want it back Etho: duly noted ✌️ ZombieCleo: btw say hi to Scar and Bdubs when you see them. They've been cracking nonstop jokes since you disappeared. One can only imagine they're attempting humor to bury immense throes of pain Etho: D:

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

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msshadows97 · 5 months

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Santa Clauses S2 E5 spoilers:

I will say watching deadpool 2, then immediately watching The Santa Clauses is such a shift.

Anyways, spoilers are below for episode 5

We love daddy issues Kriss

BETTY!

Tim Allen is coming up with every excuse not to wear the fat suit.

YASSSS "look into my eyes What's do you see" "It's cold and its dark" that's the line from the second clause!

BETTY'S BACK!

Couple goals

Noooo, Betty, no leaving!

Being head elf must come with magic sass

Cal loving Riley ears is just so I grew in the north pole of him

Olga is me on a mental level

Will we ever get a like in-depth explanation of Claus magic powers? Seeing visions?

Mad santa started naughty coal, bet the poor families in the winter were actually thankful

Cal is talking to the reindeer, but still no Chet

Bernard acting like a head elf even before being head elf, honestly expecting nothing else.

The CIA elfs make me so happy.

"Being banished to the wobbly woods forever" that is the last line in the Elf Clause. Any elf that goes against Santa get banished

I want to know what Edie did to be above Gary. I do respect that Olga wants to maim Gary more than Santa scott. (Also, now I finished the fact that Betty is after Toots is impressive considering what she did)

STOP...... oh my god, I hate it. Scott is getting his powers back but facial hair first. I agree Carol he's about to sell me something. Or looks like the mayor of monopoly.

Betty and I think the same thoughts apparently because she just said what I just wrote (I'm pausing to write my thoughts)

I'm sorry I can't take this seriously

LA befana really out here being like, "Here's something to kill the bastard but it wasn't me"

I also agree she is a legendary figure? Yes, I know she's known in Italy and even celebrated down there still, but I didn't even know her till doing my own research who this christmas witch was. Then again, she's a legend in Italy, sooo. Does that mean mothman exists or Bigfoot?

Me too, emotional moments make me scared, too

....

She turned the easterbunny into a lemon

WeLl wHeN LiFe GiVeS YoU LeMoNs

Sandra, you don't speak fruit? I thought you had the internet up there.

They are closing the vortexes, and Cal is flying the sleigh

Elfs fighting with kazoos is my Romain Empire. I also feel like they played the kazoo kid song

I want to know the legendary figure legal department because who even writes these clauses?

I feel like mixing that much legendary figure magic is not a good thing, oh my god.

Hahahahha *removes mask* gasp it's you! Dude you don't even know her name, you can even get your head elfs name right.

Oh my god, I just need to watch the show and stop pausing because the next thing he said is that.

Noel being a simp

HAHHAHAHA Noel is now cannon "not bernard"

"Legendaries have no power against other legendaries." HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ALREADY SANTA USING SANDMANS OWN SAND ON HIM. That it's my only peace of mind is sandman sand didn't actually affect him he just wanted an excuse to sleep.

And the fat suit back.

Cal your two brain cells are fighting for Dominance

Cal turning into a therapist someone get Neil!

Ha he called 911

HAHAHA he ripped it. Again, I want to know who writes these clauses. ALSO, COULD HE HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME?!?!(I doubt Bernard would of let him)

That's some strong ducktape

NOOOOOOO Cal! I was starting to like the golden retriever

Scott and Carol are also couple goals

And she has a bazooka

And of course, it ends like that. Time to wait another week.

So thoughts?

Season 2, so far, has been better than season 1, as season 1 felt like a rewrite of the 3rd movie. This second season is bringing back reference to the movies. With Judy, Jack frost, carols eyes of darkness, etc. Cal is finally finding his footing, and Sandra is coming into her own. Hopefully, Scott finally opens his damn eyes to his children for once and sees that Cal wants to be his own person. Maybe only do Santa part-time instead of just taking over completely. See you all for episode 6.

#the santa clauses #the santa clause #santa clause #santa clauses #bernard #elfs #betty #i want chet #what happened to my baby?#did Forst adopt him?#season 2 #spoiler

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akwardlyuncool · 3 months

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Class Favorites: Shows I Finished and Shows I Didn't, But I'm Ranking Them Altogether.

1) Good Trouble Season 5 Part 1?

I remember, not much, about this season but I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed it while it was on. I do remember though that due to the AMPTP and SAG-AFTRA stikes that took place for several months in 2023, Good Trouble went on a bit of a hiatus and we didn't know if it was coming back or not. I also remember that it was getting really good right before the strike and I was upset because of timing.

To note: I support the unions and strikes in general, I was just in my feelings cause of timing, but that lasted all of like 2 seconds cause I cared more about them getting paid fairly and not being screwed over by The Man lol. Just to be clear.

Anyway this is MY show and although it was forever ago that I watched it, I don't doubt my choice in putting it at the top. That being said the rest of season 5, otherwise known as the final season 😭 just premiered last week, so hopefully the questions I think I have will be answered and I'll leave the series feeling good. I still haven't put it on though, cause I'm not ready 😭 lol.

2) The Good Doctor Seasons 1-5 ish

This was a binge I started, but haven't finished quite yet, so I won't give my full, full opinion, but I can say that I like it. I think I just wanted something new (to me) and everything I was currently watching I had put on hold. And not to compare the two at all, but I haven't picked Grey's back up yet, and since it's been some years at this point I've probably been wanted a medical drama to fill that void. There were parts of The Good Doctor that didn't give me the full punch that I usually get from these shows, most likely because of how I was binging it but it was still solid and I do recommend. Also Freddie Highmore, enough said.

Side Note: I can't say whether it's good or acceptable Autism representation or not, so if you want that information, seek elsewhere.

3) The Best Man: The Final Chapters

This series for those who don't know is what happened after the 1999 and 2013 Best Man films, essentially following these characters to the "end." In 2022 I did Peacock's Black Friday deal just so I could watch this show. The original Best Man is a favorite of mine and I was excited to see them bring it back. Obviously not without reservations, but excited nonetheless.

I watched this one with my Father and we had a good time. It was fun and messy and the endings made sense. We laughed and maybe wanted to cry a little bit. Quentin (Terrence Howard) was the class favorite for sure. He brought the laughs and the tears. Now it getting the 3rd sport is mainly because of it's shortcomings.

The series tried way harder than it needed to, to show that it was/is progressive. I'm not saying don't join the times, but can you just be natural? In some places it wanted to rise above the fight and in others it wanted to drive the point home. Like I said, it was good, but it featured a common pitfall that hurts a lot of shows these days. They're just "making sure you know" but doing it in a way that feels a little forced. To note, I don't mean this in an "everything is woke nowadays" kind of way, just that I think there are better ways to talk about these things, to where it actually feels genuine.

I recommend the show to anyone that saw the original movies, simply because that's where the entire story comes from and the history of why the characters behave the way that they do is formed. You can still watch if you missed the movies, it just wouldn't be as good without them. That being said, if you have seen the show and want a more spoiler involved detailed review, let me know cause I'm down to talk about all of the characters and get a little deep on em.

4) Paradise City Seasons 1+2 (Sumerian Records)

Paradise City is the series follow-up the film American Satan. (I talked about the movie in my movie ranking for 2023, so look for that there.) The Relentless band has been on a break since reaching peak stardom, after their lead singer got some jail time and was going through drug addiction. Simon (Cameron Boyce) is a "kid" in a band who looks up to The Relentless and is trying make it just like they did.

If you read my review of the movie, you'd know I didn't think it was good, however although I would not give it shining stars, the show was better. I think Paradise City was actually attempting to say something where the movie just didn't or failed if they were even trying. Still a mess, but Cameron Boyce really did carry this thing, along with Mark Boone Junior. Andy Biersack did better here, but his singing voice was still dubbed and I rolled my eyes at some of his scenes, especially with Bella Thorne, but I already wasn't a big fan of the Lilly Mayflower character to begin with. PS: Good Trouble Fans, Booboo Stewart plays in this one as well and he's one of the least offensive characters, so that's a win lol.

Personally the show kept me watching and I was more invested in it than I was in the movie. I don't know that I would recommend this to the audience I'm sure it was trying to target, because of the whole franchise's problematic nature, but I'm sure they've probably already seen it, so it doesn't matter. And for those who haven't or are just curious, watch at your own discretion.

Where's Riverdale?: I was gonna talk about the few episodes of this last season of Riverdale that I did see cause I do remember them being fairly decent at the time of watching, but I didn't get very far and thought I'd either save my thoughts for a separate series ending post or 2024's ranking. So I did start this last season, the tab's probably still up in one of the 6 browsers windows I have in my doc-bar right now, but it's been months so I thought I'd be a little more fair to it, seeing that it is the last season.

#AKWARD CLASS FAVORITES #Class Favorites 2023 #TV Talking Time #Good Trouble #The Good Doctor #Paradise City #The Best Man: The Final Chapters #TV Shows #TV

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cassberry · 2 years

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i just got into mc let’s plays of any kind a month or so ago, and into hermitcraft around the same time via gem, but i am,,, lost. i’ve only really watched gem and pearl, and impulse’s streams will autoplay while i’m not paying attention. if i want to really jump into this hyperfixation, where do i start? how much content am i getting into? should i watch everyone’s videos or can i mostly pick and choose? what about double life?

i’m glad i can hop in while it’s current, but i have NO idea where to go/how to catch up/how much real lore there is, and i’ve seen so much fan content that i do not understand lmao

thank you!!

Welcome to MCYT! I'm so happy others are still getting into it! You are joining at a fantastic time honestly, the content is top-notch and the fandom is thriving.

Now the one thing I say to people getting into anything mcyt related is, please do not try to watch everyone's content, whether it be videos or streams. That is the fastest way to burn out and there are about a billion content creators, so it will eventually start to feel like a chore to try and keep up with everything.

I currently watch an absurd amount of mcyt content and even then there are only about 5-6 people that I watch everything they produce consistently. The best thing you can do is have a few people you main and just pop into other videos occasionally to see what they are doing.

Thankfully there is very little that you need to know to get into hermitcraft, even on an episode to episode basis. Lore tends to be really, really informal on the server, with the exception of season 8. I want to say lore is generally more of a plot device to encourage hermit interactions, rather than a strict story with characters and plot lines.

I saw you've seen my post on getting into hermitcraft and how you should start with season 9 - I still recommend that. Season 9 is currently hitting mid-season which is when hermits start focusing on their mega bases and mega projects. It's not too far into the season so you should be able to catch up quickly if you find a few hermits that you like. But I know it can be daunting to hop into a season that's 20-30 episodes in, so honestly, I would just watch the latest episode from a hermit you want to watch and see if you like the vibes. You can always re-watch the backlog later.

To start finding a hermit to like I suggest either watching one and branching out from there (or the “Grian Effect(TM)” as Redwinterroses calls it lmao) or another great way to see which hermits you could vibe with is to watch the hermitcraft recap. They summarise the best things that happened that week on the server and give a great run down of the different hermits. Check out the hermitcraft site for a full list of members and latest videos.

Some personal suggestions though if you like Gem and Pearl is GoodTimesWithScar, VintageBeef, Cubfan, False and Impulse. Also I'm being incredibly biased when I say this because he is my favourite, but Etho has just started his season so if you want to watch along with everyone else you should check out his videos!

What kind of things do you like watching or what things are you looking for? I can give some better recs if needed :)

If you are looking for something a little more story heavy and with a touch more lore, Empires season 2 has just started and its also looking incredibly promising. It's not affiliated with hermitcraft, but there is a little crossover with the members so the vibes are good over there as well. I think the full member list is on the Empires Wiki.

Now Double Life is part of a series separate to hermitcraft run by Grian that just happens to have a lot of hermits in it lol You don't have to watch double life to watch hermitcraft, it's more of a short-form, death games series that's very personality-driven. It's a great way to see a bunch of different creators hanging with people they normally wouldn't.

You've got 3rd Life (season 1), Last Life (s2) and Double Life (s3) and thankfully you don't have to watch the previous seasons to appreciate any of the others. Bit of self promo here lol but I actually have viewing guides for which POV's to watch for both 3rd Life and Last Life if you want to check it out.

But yeah, some fan content can be a little obscure lol You're welcome at anytime to come ask me questions for things that just seem to come out of no where. Like how Rendog is now king of the server, which is definitely a throw back to how he became the Red King on 3rd Life but he only became king there because he was wearing a skin with a crown on it from winning MCC (blue bats 9 my beloved). It's all messy and super intertwined, and sometimes it doesn’t make sense at all but most people in hermitblr are super happy to answer any questions and love to ramble as much as me lol

I agree that it can be super confusing about knowing where to start so I hope this helped. Thankfully I'm more familar with the hermitcraft/empires/life series side of mcyt but I did do a little bit of time in dsmp so if you have any questions for there, just let me know :)

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #double life smp #mcyt #sorry this took so long to answer #and im so sorry this became a short essay lmao #im a rambler lol and can never make up my mind what to write #berry.posts #berry.asks

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theofficefantasyfootball · 5 months

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WEEK 11 - Wrap Up

Any Given Sunday

youtube

I know I post this almost every season. But, there's nothing better when it comes to football speeches...and the bottom line is we are at that point in the season. It's time gentlemen to start fighting for those inches. 3 more weeks till Playoffs! Will you be there?

MALIK MY BALLS vs TuPADRE

I am still in shock and disbelief. I think it's a bit like looking at the scores on Sunday and seeing the Patriots week after week. You just grow so use to the Patriots being great that you can't imagine them being bad. So it is with Andy Gullahorn. For years and years he was a tough match up. Someone to fear on the schedule...but now - the guy puts up under 80 points. Am I thankful? Yes. Of course I am. But, man it's hard to watch a dynasty like Andy Gullahorn / a fierce competitor at heart....fall into obscurity. Nice win Me! Nice F'ing Win!

MOOSES ON THE LOOSES vs TREE HUGGERS

Moose right now (Above GIF). He's dropped 2 in a row. Everything is working out...he's now 6-5. Can we get him to 6-6? Please Brett - Please stay focused next week and make this happen. Scott, what can I say about Scott. What a great week he has had. Survivor Champ....moves to 8-3 and if that wasn't enough he took the high point. I tried to take it from him but came up just a bit short. Big players for him - Tank Dell, Bills D and Kyler Murray. Nice win! Congrats!

TRADE WITH ME vs BOOMER SOONER

There he is!!!! There's Brett Rutledge. Week 11 and puts up 127.68 points! Amazing. And, he took down Stu Jones who was on a 3 game winning streak and looking like he was going to coast into the playoffs. Stu had a huge week from Purdy and a decent day from the 49ers D but it couldn't compare to what Brett had going with Love, Cook, Ridley, Gibbs and anytime someone puts up 17 from their kicker it's going to be a good week. Keep it up Brett. I believe. The Moose is next!

LANAKILA vs BACKDOOR BANDITS

Kyle has got to be in tears tonight, knowing that after 6 losses in a row - he finally grabbed a win. He also finally put up over 100 points...108 to be exact. Cliff saved most of his players for Monday night. His ring leader - Pat Mahomes, his trusty Running Back Pacheco and the Eagles kicker Jake Elliott.... Cliff would need 75 points out of these three to steal the win away from Kyle and I know Patrick Mahomes is good but I just don't see this happening - so I am in an early draft of the wrap up...giving this one to Kyle! Congrats! Enjoy the win!

HOWARD vs LONG LEFT BALLERS

Will Bebo ever lose again? This is crazy! Crazy I say! I don't even know what to write anymore. He is really really good. I am officially scared. That's all. Nothing about Rob either. Doesn't matter.

FUNK GUY vs MR AWESOME

Well, here we go...once again it's a monday night and once again Dana is in the hunt for a win. Gabe seems to have it all wrapped up - with all his player finished and 101.86 locked in. Dana has 78.70 and Jalen Hurts left to play. So Dana needs 23.17 from Hurts to grab his 3rd win in a row. The first half Hurts did absolutely nothing but by the 2nd half....he had it going on. Dana came close but in the end...it wasn't enough. Gabe wins in another close one! Congrats Gabe.

SURVIVOR

This is the winner. Scott Krippayne - winning in dramatic fashion as the Lions had to come back to win the game. Congrats Scott!

CHEERLEADER OF THE WEEK

Meet Korea's most popular cheerleader Park Kiryang. She cheers for the KBO (Korea Baseball Organization), She is 23 and I am a fan.

#Youtube

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pick-em-pool · 7 months

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WEEK 4

HELLO again my football fanatics, and welcome back to WEEK FOUR of the pick-em pool competition 🏈🏉 Where 11 contestants battle 🤺 for cash prizes 💲💲💲 It's been an exciting week so far with some bright spots and surprise flops 🥴 Let's get into it!

LISA - 15 POINTS

Ladies and gentlemen, she is 5-Feet-Negative-1-Inches of pure football expertise 🧠 and she has scored FIFTEEN points to rebound back to her original lead 🏆 can the rest of the field catch her before the end of the season? It will be tough - those short little leprechauns are shifty and can fit into small hiding spots 🍀 Peyton hasn't been under 5 feet since he was 2 1/2 months old 👶

VAL - 13 POINTS

Not to be outdone, Val consolidates her grip on second place with a stellar 13 point week ✊✊✊ She's trying to keep her opponents' window of opportunity smaller than the amount of closet space she gives Peyton ✊ I guess you need all that clothing when you're a human water park 💦💧💧 It is said that Val once even sweat through a backpack 🤷‍♂️

JULIETTE - 13 POINTS

Taylor Swift shows up to one football game and all of the sudden Juliette's calling winners like Josh Allen calls audibles ▶▶▶ (Juliette for reference just think of him as "Halie Steinfeld's boyfriend" 🎶) If I spent all this time doing research just to be beaten by a squishmallow that would certainly be a "Cruel Summer" 🎤

GABBY - 13 POINTS

Even though she crushed it this week and remains in 3rd place, our defending champion 🏆🏆🏆 is REALLY a baseball fan now that the Phillies are in the playoffs ⚾🧢 Before their game last night she said, and I quote, "I had to look up the roster because baseball players are hot" 🔥 - I certainly chose the wrong sport. Peyton - can I borrow some of your old baseball pants? 🤔

This is an actual photo of me wearing Peyton's pants:

PEYTON - 12 POINTS

Our new Pittsburgher is also our top-scoring man of the week once again 👨 keeping the honor alive for football men everywhere 🎖 Now that the ladies have been dominating the top 3, will Peyton be the first guy to challenge them?! 🥊 Help us Peyton-Wan-Kenobi, you're our only hope! 🌑🚀

JJ - 12 POINTS

A solid 12 points keeps our resident hockey star right in the thick of it 🥇🥈🥉 Although I have to admit I'm not really sure I want him to win it all this year 😲 After seeing him getting ready for the Pink concert, I think we ALL need to avoid any celebration dances from JJ 🕺🕺🕺

JANIE - 12 POINTS

A much-improved 12 point week is enough to keep Janie out of last place, though she's not far from it 😱 We'll have to keep a watch out to see how she performs this Sunday 👓 I have a feeling if she stays stuck in seventh place we'll all get to learn some new French swear words!

ABBY - 11 POINTS

A so-so week for Abby with 11 points 😐 but still enough to hang on to THIRD place for the time being 3️⃣ Abby has been on top of her football picks this season, as I have threatened her with a lecture on space from JP for every time she is late ⌚ we all may love football (and money) here, but NO ONE loves anything as much as JP loves space 🌌🌌🌌

RUSTY - 7 POINTS

My mother always told me that if I didn't have anything nice to say then I should just be quiet 🤐 She also told me that bacon is terrible for you and I shouldn't eat it. What do these two sayings have in common? They are both true, and I don't do either of them. RUSTY YOU STINK 🤢🤢🤢

Another great week everyone 😁 and despite some early leaders NO ONE is out of the running for that cash PRIZE 💹💹💹 So keep on that grind and keep the money on your mind! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK

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gxtzeizm · 1 year

Note

I’m so sorry yesterday I didn’t have the time, it’s been such a week :(

I’m glad you sleep well and you don’t need to worry about your test, I’m pretty sure you did it so well.

I haven’t had the time to watched the game either, so, who do you want to win?

I was thinking of watchin avatar but it’s so cold, I don’t really want to do anything outside my house

How’s your day going?? Are planning something for the holidays??

Also, have you seen the news about F1? The whole drama with Ferrari, McLaren??

Hope your having a beautiful day

-Your Secret Santa 🎅🏼

heyyy there!!!!

well don't worry about that...i truly understand if you had a quite fitted schedule this week. i'm not bothered about that.

literally i'm also starting to get busy these days...there will much more tests in a next few weeks as well as the assignments here and there. yeah probably i've about 2 months left before my first semester ends so no wonder if i starting to get a bit busy these days.

the thing about this final is sadly that's not what i expected literally....and maybe i'm rooting for france to win i guess (thinking that there're some remaining bayern players there who reached finals so i guess that's the one i'll rooting for).

it's kinda funny tho when i'm really hoping for morocco vs croatia final turns out that they'll meet each other during 3rd place match lmaoooo. but yeah, i'll more focusing on watching that match then the finals itself i guess 😂😂.

goddd i know it's hard tho for you to not able to go outside because of the cold weather. but i'm sure you have something to do even when you're only staying inside.

well literally i'm not really planning anything for the holidays...maybe i'm just staying in my uni. i guess just enough for me that i'll spending a day going outside my uni with my friends.

and of course i am!!!! this season is literally a silly season for the tps tho. and somehow i know it's still ongoing since december is not yet ending (well just take a look on today's rumors about williams want susie wolff and jenson button to be their team principal...idk what to say about this tho). but the good thing is yesterday's announcement about mick being merc's reserved driver. omg idk how i feel until now...it feels like a dream come true <333

same goes to you....i hope you enjoy your entire day with your family or friends 💖💖

#ask #secret santa

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emilyltang · 2 years

Text

3:40 AM thoughts

Jake ended up not being able to make it at the rest of the events we had discussed about which was a bummer. He leaves back to Indiana today. Probably will see each other again sometime in the winter during the holidays. Matching christmas pj's year 2?? haha jk.

It's been an eventful week. My mom said that I looked happier and was glad I was seeing my bestfriends Karen and Cathy often. I'm really working on strengthening these relationships and stepping away from dating. I do occasionally swipe when I'm restless at night but other than that I'm not actively pursuing or putting too much effort. I am giving up on the grind haha. Maybe something will naturally come my way.

06/30/2022: I woke up at 1 PM and then was feeling super tired so I went back to bed thinking I'd probably naturally wake up in an 1-2 hrs. Instead, I slept until 7 PM. Terri and Cat were super concerned about not hearing from me so they showed up to my HOUSE to force me to get up and eat something. Haha is it depression or a singular episode of hypersomnolence??

07/01/2022: Woke up pretty late as well probably 3 PM? Got ready and lounged around the house until Terri was up from her post-shift nap. We had KBBQ at Star for dinner. Kinda nostalgic going to that spot. We listened to our stomachs with stethoscopes to hear the digestion. Haha seriously bubbly stuff. After I went home and showered then got ready to go to the rewind event with Cat and her coworkers. I don't really remember anyone's name. Pregamed at Cat's and she asked me to bring lemonade and chasers. I was under the impression that her coworkers would be joining us too so I bought each person an individual lemonade bottle. RIP to just being us. The vibes at the club weren't it so we took a detour and uber'ed over to Hopscotch in Fullerton! It was such a fun time! Ended up running into Nick and caught up with him for a bit. It's been a few years. We dated when I was 18-19 almost 20 ish?? Definitely very different people now obviously. It was fun bringing up inside jokes that we forgot existed. Cat and I met a guy at the bar and turns out his friend ditched him. I noticed they were kinda into each other so I did my best to be a background character. Nice dude drove us home. Cat wasn't paying attention and accidentally routed us to an address in Westminster. I asked him if he could just drop me off at my house since it was nearby and that I would have my brother take me to get my car at Cat's tomorrow. I def do not want to be the 3rd wheel in this situation. Awk for me to be on the couch sleeping while hearing them banging lol.

07/02/2022: I packed up extra clothing, toiletries, and things I needed to stay at Karen's for the weekend (again hehe). This time by popular request I brought Butters along with me. He was such a good dog! So mild tempered and friendly. Everyone who lives with Karen has been so stressed out because of their summer associate jobs. This day we went to The Grove to eat at the Farmer's Market. Invited Julius because he's new to LA and wanted to make some friends so I've been inviting him to things! I can't say that I'm interested because of his mannerisms that give me the ick. At the end of the night, we started on making jello shots for the July 4th party with all the housemates. When everyone left, I stayed up watching Stranger Things and finished season 1!

07/03/2022: I wasn't planning to get up at 12 for brunch with Karen and Nicoletta since I slept at 5 am. But, I did and don't regret it! We went to Urth Cafe and it was lovely catching up with Nicoletta. The last time we saw each other was also around Christmas break as well. We found a Glossier store down a block so we headed over and tested/bought some products. Got back to the house at around 4:00 PM and watched about an hr and half of Hotel Hell with Nicoletta before she headed out. Karen and I took a nap until 5:00 PM which was when Cathy came over. We played with Butters, took him for a walk, and lounged in the couch talking about things that happened during the day and week then ordered SugarFish to go. We continued to make jello shots but all of a sudden Butters started to dry heave and I had to do the doggy heimlich maneuver to help him throw up. Then he had diarrhea from separation anxiety from me. Poor baby, Cathy and I dropped him back off at his owners place since we didn't want him to accidentally eat anything that fell off of people's plates at the 4th of July party. Took around 45 mins to get into OC to drop him off then after I picked up Terri to get dessert with us. After we went back to her house to watch Stranger Things. Cat ended up sleeping over at Terri's but I went home because I was too tired. Also didn't want to drive another 45 back to LA.

07/04/2022: Got up around 1 PM, got ready, picked up Terri, then picked up an order Karen made at an OC weed dispensary. I got myself to 10 mg hybrid gummy edibles. It's been a while since I had purchased any weed. Def will be helpful with my anxiety and restlessness at night. Then drove to Karen's in LA. It's 4:14 AM now and I'm feeling too tired to go into detail about the party. I'll do it tomorrow and add photos!!

Goood night

06/05/2022

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howtosingit · 2 years

Text

It’s actually so stupid how much I love Anthony and Kate though 😅

#enemies to lovers always fucking comes through for me #I have cried during the 2x08 anthony crying scene every single fucking time I've watched it #it absolutely SHATTERS me #jonathan bailey is just remarkable #AND MY LOVE KATE CAN DO NO WRONG #kanthony #bridgerton #I really don't need to watch season 2 for the 3rd time in a week - but I might anyway #bridgerton spoilers #in the tags

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female-malice · 2 years

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I do think it's possible there were many matriarchal societies we don't know about lost to time.

My pre-modern Asian history professor was really big on female shamanism. She was a big proponent of the hypotheses of a significant pre-agricultural pan-Eurasian era of female shamanism.

I do think she has a point. This hypothesis really rests on 2 points which I think have merit.

First point:

There are several surviving female shamanistic traditions across Eurasia. In addition to surviving female shamanism, there's also negative references to female shamanism in patriarchal mythologies all across Eurasia.

There's also at least one historical account of a shaman queen who had a long reign over a significant population. Everyone's favorite enigmatic 3rd-century sigma-female Himiko. There's all kinds of debate and different theories about her, but there's no denying that she did exist. Himiko was long after the agricultural revolution. But she could be a link in the chain of prehistoric shamanistic matriarchal leadership customs.

Second point:

Pre-agricultural revolution economies have the potential to favor female leadership. The keyword here is potential. There are plenty of examples of patriarchal pre-agricultural societies. But those societies don't really have traces of female shamanism.

The first point establishes that there is a significant presence of female shamanism in Eurasia. So why not explore how that fits with prehistoric economic models?

Let's say you win the geographical jackpot. High biodiversity and shellfish. Four hour work days. The only potential threat is other humans. Raiders might come after your stuff. But if you're mobile and you don't keep everything in one place, you can manage. You need seasonal settlements anyway to take advantage of the biodiversity around you.

Communities in high-biodiversity regions have diverse economies with gathering, agro-forestry, fishing, trapping, and the occasional hunting party. The geographical jackpot is already a convenient place to live but seasonal settlements make it even more convenient. Even though you're not truly nomadic, you need to be highly mobile to move back and forth between settlements. So you need small families. You need advanced family planning, female health knowledge, and women need to have power over reproductive selection. You need a female shaman.

That's definitely a plausible hypothesis.

But sometimes I wonder if it's enough. If you have your ancient chain of matriarchal tradition/knowledge and you have your diverse pre-agricultural economy, is it enough? If males grew up watching their fathers cooperating with women, I suppose they'd do the same. But what about their teenage rebellion when they don't want to be like their fathers? What about when they don't want to listen to authority? If women are the authority, why not rebel against women then?

So I'd like to add a third point to this hypothesis:

Prehistoric female remains show that women of that time were ripped. Just absolutely jacked. Prehistoric females were more jacked than the average female professional athlete. Maybe the top 2% of modern female professional athletes could compete with these pre-historic sigma females.

I don't think these ancient women were just "farm strong." The chores of that period can't account for that much beef. You don't get shredded like that from 4 hours a day of communal cooperative general labor. You'd probably only be doing construction and heavy lifting one or two days a week.

It doesn't add up. How were ancient women so jacked?

I think that extreme strength tells us something about what women did with their 8 hours of free-time. I think they played sports and practiced martial arts. I think the female shaman was more than a reproductive health specialist. She was probably a physical trainer and a coach, too. We know sports are ancient. Why wouldn't athletic support and expert knowledge of physical development also be ancient?

Some modern female professional athletes reach that prehistoric strength by working with the most advanced trainers in the world. That is not a straightforward process. Modern physical training and athletic support fields are male dominated and revolve around the male body. Think about how much work and time elite women put into developing that ancient strength. Once they reach that level, they are unique in their abilities in our modern world.

But in an ancient settlement, these modern pros would be nothing special! They'd be average! I don't think ancient women were somehow born looking like demigods. I think they were raised in a culture that made sure they were physically dominant. They were raised to play sports and be athletically competitive. They were closely trained and coached from a young age. I think they were raised to physically intimidate men into following their leadership.

Ancient men were also stronger than modern men. But I'm not convinced they were anything more than "farm strong." The average ancient man can't compete with the top 2% of modern male athletes. Average ancient men were fit but they weren't NFL running backs.

If ancient dudes had the level of athletic support women must've had, they'd be competitive with elite modern male athletes. But they're not. Maybe they were encouraged to spend their 8 hours playing with clay or something. That would explain all the ancient phallic pottery lol.

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fountainpenguin · 5 months

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"I've got to be where my spirit can run free... Got to find my corner of the sky~!" (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 12 - “Intermission Boogie”

Read on AO3

Start from Chapter 1

More Pixels Imperfect fics

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The days between Sessions 1 and 2 trickle by… Sniff searches for his place in the world and has a run-in with Scar. Grian takes a look at Impulse's code. Meanwhile, Cleo and Martyn get into trouble and Bdubs helps Scott investigate the anarchy breach.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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🌓 🖤 🖤

Tuesday

SnifferMyFeet

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Etho's Void-black room is a lot more fun without Etho in it, until it's not. Pause and Beef both went offline. Nobody's here to tell him what to do. Sniff bounces on Etho's bed, slapping the ceiling on every jump. He tries to do a backflip, but… too scared. He gets too close to landing funny on his neck and stops bouncing after that.

My gods, it's so dark in here…

The room feels like an open night sky. Sniff tests his weight against the mattress, bouncing just a little, and watches the glowing glitter up and down his arms. He's leaking… but the little sparks he's producing are drifting upwards, against gravity. Is that Etho? Is Etho the sparks? Where do they go? Sniff tries to follow them, but they twinkle and dissipate in the air. He pats his head, ruffling his hair, and checks the mirror hanging on the back of Etho's bedroom door. Huh. Yeah, his hair's leaking glittery bits too.

I guess this makes sense? When I ate his soul, he didn't really go down my throat. He kind of melted in my mouth and blended with my gums… Well, maybe just a little of my throat. But he didn't make it to my stomach. So if he didn't get digested like meat or bread, I guess this is how he leaves my system? Etho's mind may be unconscious, but the particles of light that form his body seem to be escaping through tiny gaps between Sniff's pixels. That's his current theory, anyway.

Okay… That checks out, actually. That goes along with what Grian said about getting cycled into the system faster if Martyn eats you than if Bdubs does. Bdubs eats more, so it probably takes a lot longer for everyone to sneak out again.

Huh. Sniff flaps his arms, trying to shake Etho's particles out faster, but that actually stops him from glittering for a hot second. It's a couple minutes before the sparkles start up again. Oops. Maybe all that shaking made whatever's left of Etho's consciousness kinda dizzy. Sorry, soulmate. Boat Boys for life.

Then he smacks himself across the cheek. What am I saying? Etho was Joel's soulmate. Not mine. Boat Boys are dead in the water anyway. They don't matter. Etho yanked him into Between to do one job and that's it. He doesn't care. There's probably something going on with Bdubs or the real Joel or Beef or Pause or Cleo anyway. He told me himself he was only cuddling up because he's greedy and touch-starved. My gods, Sniff… Get over him. Boat Boys are over and he was never yours anyway, so treat him like an ex. You've got Pig now. It's time to move on.

Etho snuffed the lanterns out before bed. Try as he might, Sniff can't find a proper lighter. He checks every kitchen drawer and even some in the front room, but nothing. Etho's lack of interest in knick-knacks, apparently, extends to the entire bleedin' flat. And there's no blimmin' coal around either, so he can't craft any torches. Absolute disappointment. He slams the last drawer shut in a huff, then flops against the counter.

I'm so bored…

Which is maybe a bit pathetic, actually. Sniff rolls over, sprawling his arms across the counter from this angle too. Ceiling's lame… Everything's lame. At least the dark is good for one thing. The purpur flooring's a lot less ugly when you can't see it.

It's not like he's never been alone before. He used to be alone all the time back on his home world - He really needs a cool name for it, like 'Empires' or 'Hermitcraft' but like, personal - and he'd pass days or even weeks with Pig only popping in every now and then. That was lonely too, like this.

But the thing is, when Pig was gone, Sniff still had a whole server to explore. He picked apart every End City he could find. He got wings. He wrangled villagers. He beefed himself up with enchanted netherite gear. He built himself a flying ship.

But I can't build anything here. Or at least, Etho and Grian said you can't place blocks in New Star Station. The whole thing's bugged out or something? Spawn protection? Not sure. To be fair, he barely paid attention as he had other things on his mind.

Well, if he can't build… At least he can explore. Etho tried to spook him out, claiming the HALO team or big bad Bdubs might come to log him out if he isn't careful, but what's it to him? Sniff just ate the man. And if he can eat Etho, what's to stop him from eating anyone else? He can eat anyone he wants. Yeah, that's right. His fingers, still splayed, tighten into fists.

Bdubs said it himself: he didn't want to poke around in here because he thought I might log him out…

Everybody's scared of vex. Even HALO. Even the phantoms. Sniff studies the blank ceiling in the dark for another couple seconds, then peels away from the counter. He walks straight through the den, slides open the bamboo door, and steps onto the balcony. Fresh air… Stale air, technically? They're still under bedrock-

"What are you doing?" asks a voice from above, and Sniff jumps about four blocks in the air.

"WHAAAA!? Oh my- What?"

Cackling laughter breaks out above him. Sniff jerks up his head, breathing hard. TwoMuchGrian is perched right on a copper bar above his head, arms wrapped around his stomach. He's doubled over, wheezing like an absolute madman (My gods…) His hair waterfalls down one shoulder, swishing with every wingbeat. He's losing petals from his flower crown. Sniff drags his hand straight down his lips.

"Oh my gosh… Two, what the hell? You scared the blimmin' daylights out of me! Ohh, I'm gonna be sick!"

It takes several seconds of laughter before Two's caught his breath enough to answer. He unfolds. He rights himself on the rod, letting his wings flap down in a blur of blue and gold feathers. "Ohhhh… You have no idea how long I've been waiting to catch you, Sniff. Ohhh… That's going in your newbie clip comp for sure." Two holds his fingers up in Ls, framing Sniff between them like he's pinned on a comm screen. "Wooo… How you feelin'?"

"Like I just short-circuited my own hearts. My gosh, you are something else. Uggggh… I'm so mad. You're so bloody lucky I don't have any weapons on me right now."

[Cnt'd on AO3 - Link at top]

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the-paris-of-people · 3 years

Note

Hi. This is really not a question but more of a rant. A really really long one. I apologize in advance. I honestly care waaaaayyyy too much about this show than I should. Clearly too bored🙈.

After reading people's comments on this show and the ships, there are so many things that irk me and I thought I'd share even if I might get crap for it. So here goes:

1. "Ben only wants Devi when she is with Paxton." I.e. it's about Paxton. Lol people are funny. As though Ben thinks he can compete with Paxton on a social level. He's not stupid, he knows full well he can't. It's about Devi and in part her obsession with Paxton. People don't like thinking about things from Ben's perspective because they just don't like him. He's the one that finds out Devi is cheating, she runs after Paxton at the party ( now granted before she runs out, she's intensely staring at Ben and then realises Paxton is leaving but Ben's not gonna remember that) and she was busy chumming it up with Paxton in episode 3 in front of Ben with absolute disregard for him. So his natural defence is to guard himself and have his walls go up. It is a valid response. He burries his pain (exactly what Samberg said). And does not let his guard down around her romantically until episode 10 when Paxton literally rejects her at school. At the school dance, sparks are flying between those 2. Is Paxton around at the time...Uhm no (I'll get into the whole Aneesa thing). In his mind Paxton is out of the picture and it's like he can almost trust her again. And then when Paxton shows up with Devi, he basically feels like a fool for ever thinking that he was ever something more than 2nd best or sometimes anything at all ( especially considering Devi still wants Paxton after Devi and Paxton's last public interaction that Ben witnessed- I mean he does not get to see the shit behind closed doors). But then when Eleanor spills the tea, that look on his face is disbelief, yes a little bit of jealousy but overwhelmingly heartbreak. He is essentially watching the chance he never knew he had go away. Now you could argue that he should have known that she wanted him back but she broke his trust and does not explicitly say, " I want you back". Ben's not trying to get burnt again based on some assumption/hunch. He has been wrong before.

2. "How dare Ben be upset that Devi is with Paxton when he is with Aneesa". Fair point. Just like how dare Devi be upset and lose her shit over Ben and Aneesa. But yet it still happend. Devi gets 5 episodes allowing her to be upset and Ben can't even have one moment when a firkken bomb gets dropped on him.

Aneesa and Ben should have never date. Everyone knows that. He was never over Devi. He just pushed those feelings down to make him believe he was over her. I obviously don't agree with this. Aneesa doesn't deserve that. Ben needs to go to therapy. He needs an outlet. He is similar to Devi in that he doesn't want to process what happened and would rather move on and react. However, his reactions are far less impulsive/severe as Devi's. Him dating Aneesa is unfortunately a reaction. He didn't give himself time to really process how he feels. People say he dated Aneesa solely to spite Devi which is not true. Is there an element of " you never wanted me but someone else does"... absolutely but Aneesa is also very kind to Ben, they get along really well and she puts him first. Technically what's not to like. I mean if it was just to spite Devi, could he have not tried to hustle his way back in with Shira?? Problem is that dumb dumb didn't work through his Devi feelings and let's just be honest, the same spark and chemistry he has with Devi, is missing with Aneesa. It often feels forced, especially in regards to the pace of the relationship. I so wished Aneesa remained friends with Ben. That's what he needed...not another relationship.

3. "Aneesa is so amazing, she doesn't deserve to get hurt." I agree. She absolutely doesn't deserve to get hurt just like Ben and Paxton didn't deserve that crap Devi pulled. I think Aneesa is a great addition and I like that Devi has someone within her community to connect to. I'm South Asian myself and I genuinely value this aspect of my own life. I mean she is pretty great, kind and the anorexia rumour Devi unintentionally started was pretty heartbreaking. That scene where she talks to Devi at the relay about it, is so sad (especially coz we as viewers know Devi messed up). Now that being said is Aneesa also low key shady? YES. And it's not because she dated her friend's ex. It's because she started dating him knowing that Devi started the rumour about her because she was jealous about Ben and her. How does she think Devi would go from being so jealous that she starts a rumour, to the next week becoming their biggest "Stan". Come on girl. But there was no way Devi could say no after the crap she pulled with Aneesa. Ben did ask her out so if there is blame, he absolutely gets it too but he didn't know why Devi started that rumour (based on his surprised AF face when Eleanor spills the tea). Which leads me to my next question. Why didn't Aneesa tell him? Aneesa said Ben was supporting her through the rumour. She probably told him Devi started the rumour but didn't tell him why? That is odd? Clearly if Ben had known, he may changed his perspective on Devi actually wanting him instead of ignoring his feelings.

Lastly Aneesa knows there are unresolved feelings between Devi and Ben. This is evident from that dance scene. She literally runs to cut in their pretty intense conversation. Like why you running girl? I didn't think much of it at first but coupled with another moment, it makes a lot of sense. When Ben agrees to dance with Aneesa, he looks back at Devi and lingers and Aneesa picks up on this and pulls him away. It's a blink and you will miss it moment but it is there.

Now all of this doesn't mean she needs to get hurt but they probably need to break up. Ben needs to be single for a while and work through how he feels about Devi, Aneesa and most importantly himself. Whilst I don't particularly enjoy their relationship, you never get to see it from either of their perspectives. Maybe that could change things but honestly I just prefer Ben and Devi.

Also can everyone stop acting like Ben is dating Devi's best friend. Being brown doesn't make you automatically best friends and Ben and Devi met Aneesa the same week. People are acting like he is dating Eleanor.

4. "Devi chose Paxton". Please! The only thought through decision that girl made in regards to these 2 boys is when she chose herself and decided not to be Paxton's little secret. I mean in episode 1 and 2 she can't decide so she dates both. In episode 3, she interacts with Paxton because of the whole tutoring thing. He says they don't makes sense. While she seems a bit sad she doesn't seem too upset like she is season 1 and she isn't looking for any opportunity to spend time with him (unlike season 1). Episode 4,5,6,7 and 8 she is losing her mind over Ben. Half way through 8 she knows she has no choice but to let him go. But even after that she doesn't pursue Paxton. He does that at the end of episode 9 when in all honesty she hasn't really thought about him in a while. Then of course Paxton does what he does and she finally choose herself, issuing an ultimatum essentially. Paxton does eventually show up...but it's a choice by default. She just yo-yo's between them. She also needs to be single, deal with her loss, love herself and think about what she wants.

5. "Devi loves Paxton". Sure bud. Does have Devi have feeling for Paxton? Duh! But is it love. Nope. People like to confuse infatuation for love. She has been infatuated with this boy this the 3rd (she knew squat about him). When her dad died, she turns that infatuation into an obsession. It like becomes a full time hobby in season 1. She ruins relationships over it. In season 2 you can argue there is more depth to it and Paxton does grow in Season 2. But somehow she is still fixated on the fact that it's Paxton Hall-Yoshida. I mean she smells him (totally normal), Mc Enroe's comment at the relay was, "did this hunk of beef just say he likes spending time with her", when she breaks up him she says , "you are very good at kissing" not possibly any of his other good qualities. And at the end she says , "I guess I'm Paxton Hall Yoshida's girlfriend now". This boy is so far up a pedestal that if he fell of it, he'd break something. Now granted if he fell of it in Season 1, he'd be dead. So progress I guess...

Maybe the relationship will change in Season 3 and she genuinely falls in love with him. I mean Id be sad but obviously a real possibility. But also that relationship needs to move on from being just the "Paxton project" which it was basically all of season 2. Maybe actually talk about her every once in a while.

Also people who find the ending so amazing because he shows up...bare minimum bro. I understand his perspective, how does it look to go back with someone who cheated on you. Fair point 💯. However she didn't start this shit up again. He did. He liked her so much that he had to make out with her In the middle of the night out of the blue but not enough to respect her publically. That's some BS right there. If he started it, he should have thought it through instead of guilt tripping her. But he is a teenager and ALL of them make incredibly stupid decisions (we all have). Devi messed up big time too and she apologized. The same compassion must extend to him but in no way is it a grand gesture, it's the bare minimum...like her apologies

6. "Paxton forgave Devi forgave Devi so quickly whilst Ben didn't and was so mean". He did forgive her pretty quickly. Good for him. However let's not act like circumstance didn't carve the way for that. They were pushed together because of the whole tutoring thing and he knows that they have to see each other all the time. So logically just makes sense to keep the peace. But still mature oh his part. Also he wasn't as emotionally invested as Ben. Did he have feelings? Yes. However, based on his inner monologue (Gigi Hadid) his ego took more of a hit because how could Devi, the "weirdest girl" he ever liked two time him with Ben Gross. Did his feelings deepen by the end? Yes. But at the start...it isn't that deep.

Also it's great and all that he "forgave" her so quickly but he sure did like bringing it up a lot. Like at the relay guilting her, upset at the end of 6 because he failed...I mean wtf girl you owe me- I don't really care what else is going on in your life, again in episode 8 in the car and finally we all know the mess that is episode 10.

In regards to Ben. His anger is justified for reasons stated in point 1. In fact his reaction seems more real because he is deeply hurt by Devi. Do I like some of his reaction (i.e. nose piercing-will discuss this further) ...nope but she only sincerely apologises to him in episode 8 vs 3 for Paxton. He accepts it. People acting like they would be so calm and chill about being cheated on. And yes he did cheat on Shira. He tries to kiss Devi at party twice but apologises that day and the following week. He doesn't try anything with Devi the whole of episode 10 until she kisses him. He acknowledges that it was wrong and immediately breaks up with Shira. Although cheating is not something we should condone can we actually acknowledge that Shira was the worst and doesn't even remember Ben's name. Compare that to Devi's premeditated cheating. Her Eleanor are literally laughing at how amazing they are for pulling it off and Devi didn't care about either of their feelings cause she was going to be India. Sorry but that is far worse. She also thinks she can bullshit her apology with Ben. He isn't here for that...which is fine! He kept trying his level best to avoid her but even that she wouldn't let him do.

7. "Ben is Horrible". Has Ben done some shitty things. Absolutely. People complain that he has never apologised for anything. Fair enough. He needs to apologize for the UN comment and the psychosomatic comment. It was incredibly hurtful. However, no one does call him out of it. Now you could argue he should just do it. Please... have you watched these particular set of teenagers? None of them apologise without being called out on it first(except maybe Fabiola). And you only get called out my your support system ... which Ben does not have. He practically looks like he raised himself. He doesn't have parents to put him back in line or a sister to call him out on his shit. Devi has her mom, cousin, grandmum , Elanor, Fabiola and her therapist. Does she ever listen to them the first time? Nope. And her first time apologies are such messes. She only gets it right the 2nd or 3rd time. All of them have some form of support but not really him. And it is heartbreaking. It's why I genuinely believe he needs to go to therapy. He needs an outlet to express everything he feels. He also needs to be held accountable for those comments and understand the root of it (ok let's be honest Devi even in their rivalry was probably the most constant person in his life, and fighting with her meant she stayed close by- it's a subconscious thing). He should apologize to her and also find better ways to communicate what he is feeling. The nose ring thing was manipulative. I agree. He should apologize. But I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't piss me off as much because I think it's pretty messed that it took that for her to realise how much she hurt him. Also tbh if you were willing to alter your body on a 2 minute thought out dare, you wanted to do it anyway. But again not a healthy way to emote on Ben's part. The David thing doesn't upset me because he knows how to pronounce her actual name. It's not like he doesn't know how and doesn't bother to try. It was part of their rivalry to irritate her. I honestly find it quite endearing as part of their friendship and think Devi does. I may be wrong and she may not like it and in that case he needs to stop and apologize.

I am not upset by him coming over to her house and calling her out about Aneesa. She deserved it. Also if she was that uncomfortable she could have taken him outside to talk like she did with Paxton. She is clearly comfortable enough to have him in the house. And her therapist agrees with Ben. If he hadn't, she wouldnt have known that Aneesa was leaving. Her mom took away her phone. And even then her first attempt at an apology was soooooo bad. And I don't think Ben did it solely to get Aneesa to stay so he could date her. This is Ben, he was willing to do long distance with Devi from India, I think he could have done the same with Aneesa from like the same town 🙄

I genuinely like Ben because he is a good kid. He makes mistakes like they all do. His personality is hilarious to watch but also his and Devi's relationship is so special. Me liking Ben and Devi has nothing to do with what Paxton has or has not done. I just like the dynamic between the two. They obviously care deeply for each other. Their conversations are hilarious. I love their banter. I love how comfortable they are with each and am sometimes surprised by the depth of their conversations. But also they have amazing chemistry. All the jealous looks and angst are between these two idiots pining for each other. I think she does have chemistry with Paxton but it's more because he is PHY, school Adonis. I mean let's be honest, he'd probably have chemistry with Fabiola solely cause he is PHY. The two nerds just match each other and it's so funny how often they are in sync. It's honestly adorable. They just get each other. That bathroom scene was the sweetest thing and also proves he's not this terrible person. She only comes out of the stall because of his support. He is genuinely hurt for her when technically it should have been a great moment for him.

I do believe the two have to be single for a bit before admitting their feelings for one another and moving forward. That's why my main thing for season 3 is that he absolutely cannot interfere in her relationship with Paxton. He needs to give her the space to figure that. Do I think there will be moments between them... absolutely but no cheating please. Everyone needs to move on from that. If they do it...I honestly think il be done with the show.

Anyways sorry for the really long ramble. If you made it to the end thanks for your patience 😌

Thank you for this beautiful masterpiece, I pretty much agree with everything and need to put it out there for the world to see

#im obsessed with benvi and yall KNOW it #ben x devi #thanks for the response i was soooo entertained while reading it #never have i ever

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kiribakuhappiness · 3 years

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Hiiiii if you have time could I please request a HC on how bakugou studies and works out? I was down for a few days so I wanted to read about bakugou but there aren't any really. I don't wanna force this on you byyy love you❤️❤️😀

Heyyy, I am super late to seeing this (I’m literally going through hundreds and hundreds of asks right now scouring for prompts and trying to do a little spring cleaning) and I came across this and it makes me so happy to talk about Blasty McGonnaHaveAStroke that I just really wanted to answer it - I hope that’s okay!

My perception of Bakugou Katsuki is ever changing because he’s developing so quickly in so many different areas of his personality (honestly, such a well written character, I’m really enjoying watching him morph and grow over the past few seasons) and I feel like I grow to know him more and more with each fic / drabble I write where I can really delve into his mannerisms and way of being and so I have a lot of ideas for these little nuances in particular!

Studying:

We all know that Bakugou is high key suffering from Former Gifted-Child Syndrome (or whatever the popular term for it is on this site). He’s naturally talented and intelligent - but he’s also incredibly hard working, especially once he’s come to the realization that he’s become a Former Gifted-Child.

There’s a quote I saw circulating a while ago from Bakugou, something about “I came to this school not to find out what I can do, but to find out what I can’t do.” or something similar to that sentiment. Because Bakugou is already perceptive and smart, he recognizes all of the things he can do and all of the things he’s good at, what he needs to learn is how to better handle the things that he’s not good at and how he can work on himself to barrel forward on his path to become the best.

So I think that even though Bakugou is already smart and doesn’t have any trouble keeping one of the top spots in his entire class, I feel like he would also spend a good portion of his free time studying and doing homework. It’s one thing to be intelligent, but to keep such a high position like the 3rd spot or whatever he is, that means that he’s completing and handing in assignments regularly, receiving top marks in most likely all of his classes, and that requires a certain level of dedication.

But again, he’s also already highly intelligent. So he probably gets bored really easily. (I know I’ve mentioned it before but it’s kind of one of my favorite ‘little obscure details’ to note that there are several panels where Bakugou is depicted as not fully paying attention during lessons - gazing out the window or playing with his pencil and even closing his eyes and completely tuning Present Mic out with the internal monologue that English was super boring or something like that).

This is all a long-winded way to back up the fact that I feel like his notes would be quick and sloppy and probably wouldn’t have a lot of context clues so someone like Kirishima just reading over his notes probably wouldn’t understand half of the concepts just because they’re things Bakugou already knows so he didn’t deem them important enough to write down.

Someone else posted a bunch of screenshots of Bakugou Katsuki’s actual notebook or something (fuck, I wish I could find the original post but it’s lost in time and space at this point), and his handwriting isn’t messy per-say but I definitely imagine that they were just lazy, bored strokes maybe pressed down with a little more force than is actually needed, and if he wants to highlight something important to remember later, he probably does that thing where he circles it multiple times or boldly underlines and things like that instead of actually using any highlighters or colored tabs like Midoriya probably uses!

Working Out:

You know, I feel like not a lot of attention gets brought to how Bakugou would work out! Like, in all the fics where they mention him working out or whatever, he’s usually just sparring with someone or they mention that he’s pumping iron (lifting weights), but that’s about as in depth as it goes.

I spend too much of my time at the gym and personally I believe that Bakugou is that one dude that I would constantly pick on for “always skipping leg day” - in the fact that he probably focuses very heavily on core work outs and arms/shoulders, since those are the muscles that are most directly impacted by his quirk!

He probably does a ton of crunches, pull-ups, free weights, push-ups; anything that works his triceps, biceps, abs, core balance, etc. He also probably runs /A LOT/ because he isn’t too bulky, he’s actually got a very slender build considering the muscle mass he carries in his upper half, which means that he’s running cardio on the DAILY. If I were a gambling woman, I’d put money on the treadmill, the stepper, and a jump rope being his most important pieces of equipment for cardio training.

We also have to take into account his dietary habits. Like I said before, this boy is incredibly slender for someone with such broad shoulders and who carries a lot of his muscle mass in his shoulders/back, and it’s commonly accepted at this point that Bakugou is a good chef (judging by the way his parents made him take music lessons growing up, I can assume that it was probably their idea as well for him to learn how to cook - whether that be through cooking classes or home-taught, it doesn’t really matter).

Mitsuki and Masaru are also canonly involved in the fashion industry - and we all know how, ahm... flawed the views in the fashion industry can be depending on location, culture, and societal beauty standards.

Katsuki probably has an immaculate diet. Protein, carbs, fresh fruit, calcium; he probably has a perfectly balanced palate and I can only ever dream cause ya girl just has sushi and LUNCHABLES as my only meal of the day today so, yaknow...

ANYWAYS.

All of that into consideration, I headcanon that Bakugou probably has a rotating shift for his work outs; cardio every day for ~30 minutes (most likely a warm up with the jump ropes or a jog/sprint alternating between low intensity and high intensity settings on the treadmill or stair stepper), then he probably has a circuit. So say for arms, he’d probably use free weights (curls, pumps, etc), then pull-ups/push-ups, I could see him throwing in some shoulder stretches and a very light yoga routine to help keep himself flexible and adaptive.

I totally see him as a man to get hooked on focusing solely on arms/shoulders because it’s very easy to see improvement and quick results, plus the after swell of muscles when you’ve done a proper workout is like the world’s most authentic confidence boost you can ever experience, and I could picture Bakugou being addicted to a feeling like that.

However, as previously mentioned, he’s incredibly intelligent and perceptive, and he’s just kind of a no-bullshit, no-excuses kind of guy? He might WANT to just do arms/shoulders for the rest of eternity, but he knows that won’t make him GREAT, so he forces himself to cycle. Arms/shoulders, Core, Legs, Exclusive Yoga, repeat - all with cardio warm-ups and cool-downs.

I’d gander that on top of his school work and course studies, he’d have to keep his gym time somewhere between 2-3 hours daily, but he probably only realistically hits the gym about 2-3 times a week at most, since all of their other training exercises and other hero activities no doubt work his entire body, and with such a strenuous, active lifestyle, there wouldn’t be much need for him to go any more than that unless he really wanted to aggressively bulk up or something crazy, but with his body type he’ll most likely fill out naturally as well (another thing that’ll come all on its own that he won’t even have to work for; lucky fucking bastard).

Okay, I’ll shut up now about it :D Hope that was somewhat entertaining to read? Are headcanons fun to read about? They must be if people are asking but I always get so nervous like, dude literally nobody cares that you psychoanalyzed Bakugou Katsuki to the point where you’ve probably got his entire work week mapped out, and you know what?

You right - lmfao!

#ahxbabxha #wow this is much longer than I expected it to be #and it's so so late ahaha #this ask is so old #but uuuh #anyway #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bnha #my hero academia #asks

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