#I still do to some degree but not as much as the first time

[sirfrogsworth]

Photo Restoration: Adventures in Upscaling - Part 1

After finishing my big photo restoration for Katrina's family I was organizing my files and noticed a scan I missed.

The scan was fairly low resolution and the photos were only 400x700 pixels.

But I was bored and restoring photos helps me relax, so I decided to fix them up anyway—even if they did not have great fidelity.

I did my thing, and it worked pretty well.

But I have been interested in a set of photo tools made by Topaz Labs. They are known for their noise removal and upscaling apps and are praised by many photographers I follow.

Before I jumped into this A.I. suite of tools I wanted to make sure it was trained ethically with licensed images—same as how Adobe operates.

So that made me feel better about that aspect. Plus I feel this is exactly the kind of thing A.I. is great for. A tool to help artists rather than displace them.

I have used a few upscalers in the past and have had varying degrees of success. Typically they just implore various sharpening tools and try to control the chunky artifacts with denoising tools—trying to find the best balance between the two.

Two opposites trying to reach a compromise.

But I was not expecting the results I got. This is way beyond anything I have ever tried before and I had no idea the technology had improved this much.

Here are the results...

All photos will be displayed in order of original, my edit, Topaz upscale followed by extremely zoomed in crops to help you better see the effects.

Crops...

Topaz has a specific "face recovery" algorithm and I was curious if these results were only because of that.

But then I looked at this little guy and he seemed pretty sharp as well.

I was stunned at how well this was working. I was able to upscale these photos so they could be printed as an 8x10 with 300ppi resolution.

Maybe that first photo was just a fluke, so I proceeded with the others.

Santa's face was mostly obscured, but it was still able to work its magic despite that.

Crops...

At this point I felt like I was a caveman discovering fire for the first time.

This next photo is interesting because it has a very creepy clown clearly plotting to kill baby Katrina. And the clown has on full makeup, which could confuse the face recovery.

Crops...

The clown face looked great, but there were two interesting artifacts involving text.

First, there was not nearly enough information on the clown's button. So the A.I. did its thing and rendered nonsense. I found a smiley face button and just did some classic compositing.

There was also a bottle of Elmer's glue on the table and even though I felt there was enough detail to make out the words, the A.I. still struggled. So I found a bottle of vintage glue with the same label and replaced it.

And it kinda feels nice that A.I. can't do everything yet and I still have to use my problem solving skills to make the best photo possible.

On to part 2!

#photography #photo restoration #long post

[hyperfixiation-station]

The Filler Fics Pt.1

Beach Day Pt.1- Travel

Part 2

TW: Canon divergence, military inaccuracies, mentions of injuries/hospitals Inspired by @shyravenns art Summary: This is the first of many sitcom-style filler fics. Yk, the ones where they go to the beach, or go to the store, etc, etc. I am open to suggestions, as I don't really watch sitcoms, so please comment or request or DM me ideas!! This one is, of course, a beach-day fic that I have spilt into 2 parts. this is the getting there portions, pt.2 will be the beach :) WC:1080

It had been a long few months. The threat of global annihilation, the hunt for Makarov, Soap getting shot, it was just a lot, and they all needed a break.

Price had watched Gaz and Ghost spend night after sleepless night at Soap’s bedside, refusing to do anything until the Scotsman woke up. And he had been right there with them, although Ghost wouldn’t talk to him, the Lt. still pissed that Price’s actions, or rather inactions, may have gotten Soap killed. Price couldn't blame him. It’s not like he hadn’t been fixated on that one moment, mentally berating himself for stopping Soap from killing Makarov in the first place. He would have gotten in a shit-load of trouble for it, but anything would have been better than…well, he didn’t even want to think it.

The team couldn’t take another loss so soon after Roach’s death. Price knew that. Knew that if Soap didn’t make it his team would fall apart. And it would be his fault. 

Thankfully, Soap was alright. He’d woken up a little disoriented, with no recollection of the week leading up to his…head wound. Other than some faint ringing in his ear and occasionally bouts of dizziness, he was alright, much to the relief of his squad members. However tensions were still running high. Just because the Scotsman was awake and talking didn’t mean the very real fear that his friends had felt over the past few weeks had vanished.  

There were nights Price found himself studying Soap, watching the rise and fall of his chest proving he was alive. He’d seen Ghost reach up from his bunk and grab the Scot’s wrist, checking for a pulse after waking from what Price assumed was a nightmare. Things got a little better once Soap didn’t have to wear gauze over the wound anymore, but the scar was still an ugly reminder of what had almost happened.  

Soap was constantly mother-henned now, not allowed to do training, having meals brought to him, never going anywhere by himself. It was starting to piss him off, and Price could see it. Tensions were running high, and it was only a matter of time before someone snapped. 

“Give the boys some time off, time away from the battlefield. Time to recuperate and settle back in. They’ll be okay.” Laswell told him at their bi-weekly meeting they hadn’t had in 3 months. Price booked 4 flights and a week-long stay at a beach-house off the Coast of California that same night.

However, the flight left in 5 hours and he still hadn’t told his men. He moves through the base, heading towards the rec room that he knew they hang out at, hoping they are all in one spot. 

Aaaaand bingo!

 Ghost is sprawled out on the couch, Soap sitting on the floor, leaning against his thigh, with Gaz in the armchair opposite, watching some stupid show on the little TV they have. Price can’t help but stare at the long, inch wide streak where Soap’s hair hadn’t quite grown back, a grim reminder of how close he came to losing one of his men. His eyes are drawn from Soap's skull by Gaz’s laughter, the man's head tilted back, shoulders shaking at something that was said on the T.V. 

The show cuts to commercial, and Price figures it’s as good a time as any to cut in. 

“Alright boys, pack your bags. We’re going stateside.” All three of them look up at Price in varying degrees of confusion, “Laswell decided after Soap's near-death experience we all needed a little R&R, so we’re heading to the beach.” 

“Ah’ll finally get tae see that ‘impeccable bronze’, eh Lt?” Soap nudges Ghost, a grin splitting his face.

“We’ll see Johnny.” 

“The beach, captain?” 

“Yes Gaz, the beach. You got complaints, go talk to Laswell.” 

“Hey, no complaints here sir! Just makin’ sure.”

“Good. Because we leave in an hour so you don’t have time to complain anyway.” 

“An hour??”

“No time f’r y’r beauty regime, Gaz.” 

“Ah shaddup, just cause you’re jel-”

“Boys! Get to going!” 

“Aye sir!” Price shakes his head as he watches them file out, Gaz and Ghost subconsciously sandwiching Soap in between them. The Scot shoves Gaz, his shoulders shaking as the shorter man lets out an angry squawk.  Things have been tense, sure, but he can’t help his smile as his boys walk off, alive and well. 

Ghost hates flying. Well, sort of. Military transport ain’t bad in his opinion, but when he has to fly commercial? With civilians? And screaming babies? He hates it. Hates it hates it hates it. 

He's dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, a black surgical mask adorning his face. HE may have gotten comfortable with his team seeing his face, but the rest of the pubic had not lived through numerous near death experiences alongside him, and thus did not get that honor. Covid had at least helped with the stares, nowadays no one really batted an eyes at him, which did, surprisingly, ease his discomfort.

He shifts in line, sandwiched between Gaz and Soap as they wait to board. Soap is turned slightly, placing the scar on the side of his head directly in Ghost's line of sight. Gods he wishes he could look anywhere else. But its to no avail. No matter how many time Johnny had reassured him he was 'okay', Ghost couldn't get the image of his teammate, his brother-in-arms, his friend unconscious in his own blood, out of his head. He just couldn't.

Yeah, sure, he should have told the court-mandated therapist about that, but the she wouldn't have signed off on him going back to service and then where would he be? That right, no-

"Ghost!" He's snapped out of his reverie by Price, who is giving him the look. Whatever. Price should know by now that he wasn't gonna spill his guts to anyone, much less someone with the power to kick him off the team.

He hands his ticket to the attendant, mumbling a 'thank yo' before following along after Johnny, hands shoved in his pockets. Johnny takes the window seat, so he takes the aisle, condemning Gaz to the middle. Besides, he was the only one that would fit there anyways.

The plane takes off and, as if on cue, a baby starts screaming in the front. Ghost sighs and slouches in his seat. This was going to be a looooong flight.

Let me know what you think:))

#cod fanfic #simon ghost riley #cod #ghost fanfiction #john soap mactavish #call of duty #no beta we die like men #johnny mactavish #captain john price #john price #kyle garrick #gaz fanfic #goap #simon riley #cod fanfiction #beach day #filler episodes #the filler episodes #brain ain't braining #sorry i'm rambling

[wittlesissyb4by]

Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Here

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go.” Mr. Pennyworth says. 

It feels like a dagger has been shoved into my stomach. I’m not sure what to say, so he just continues anyway. 

“Your productivity is by far the lowest in the company, you’re not reliable to show up on time or even at all, and your long hair is unprofessional and not befitting of this company’s standards.” He clears his throat, sifting through some papers. “We also have reason to believe you called-in on Friday without actually being sick.”

“What makes you think that?” I say, finally speaking up for the first time. 

He shrugs, “Let’s just say we got an anonymous tip.”

******

“Everything alright with you?” Max asks, moving his pawn forward to free up his bishop. 

“I’m fine,” I say, half-heartedly moving my knight with no clear plan in place. “Lost my job today.”

Max frowns, moving his bishop out as I expected. “I’m really sorry, dude. That sucks to hear.”

“Yea…it’s fine, I guess,” I sigh, “Didn’t much like it there much anyway.” 

He still hasn’t said anything about the other day. I’m not sure if he actually saw anything, or he did and just doesn’t want to bring it up. How do you talk about seeing a bunch of sissy toys and diapers in your roommate’s room? Is that even something to talk about?

I remember back in college when my roommate at the time had found a slew of sissy porn on my computer. I was there when he saw everything. That sick feeling in my stomach took forever to go away. It’s back now. 

“Well if you start applying for jobs, you can always use me as a reference. Just say I’m an old manager or something.” He says, putting his Queen in a precarious position. I seize the opportunity and take it. I realize too late that it left my King open for an easy assault. An obvious trap I should have seen coming. 

“Checkmate.” Max says, smiling. 

******

As the weeks went by, so did the job opportunities and applications. I rarely received any callbacks, and even if I got an interview, I’d either get ghosted afterwards or they would call and say something to the degree of “after careful consideration, we’ve decided to go with another candidate.”

God, the job market is rough. 

My bank account is dangerously low. I probably should have done a better job of saving for times like this, but I guess I was more excited about buying outfits and diapers. Still, I’m not going to make it through the next month without some sort of income. It’s time to have the awkward conversation with Max. 

“Hey, man. Can I talk to you for a sec?” I say, shuffling my feet into the living room. 

He pauses the hockey game and turns to me, “what’s up?”

It’s such a weird topic to bring up, but I have to bite the proverbial bullet. “I’m having trouble finding a job…” I say sheepishly, “I didn’t work long enough at my last one to get severance, so…I’m a little low on funds.”

He just sits there, always with that stoic expression, listening intently. He doesn’t say anything, just lets me continue. 

“So…umm..I’m uh, gonna be short on rent this month.”

Again he continues to stare at me, as if deep in thought, stroking his beard. It almost seems a little exaggerated. Like he’s acting. 

“I see,” he finally says. “So you need me to help you?”

As demoralizing as it is to admit, I have to. “Yes…”

He smiles. “Okay. No problem.”

“Really?”

“Yea.”

I don’t know what to say. A weight of anxiety and fear is lifted off my shoulders. I can feel it melt away as I start to relax. “Thanks man, I really do appreciate it. I’ll find a way to make it up to you, I promise. Anything you need, just let me know.”

His eyes have a strange glint to them. Like he was hoping I would say exactly that. 

“I actually do have a job in mind for you,” He says, “You can start today.”

I sense a sudden shift in the air around the room. He leans back on the couch a bit, patting the seat next to him. I find myself sitting down beside him, not exactly sure what’s going on, but sensing something amiss. 

Max puts his hand on my leg, “it’s okay, nothing to worry about.” he says softly. I feel myself release a breath, feeling comforted, but still a little uneasy. 

It’s like he’s holding something back. Like he’s trying to find the words but doesn’t know how to say it. I wonder if he knows. If he saw the things in my room.

“I saw the things in your room.” He says. 

Yea, I’d say he knows…

My stomach does that familiar churning. The shame of what I've done, or been caught doing coursing through me. “I-i can explain…”

“Don’t bother.” He says, waving it away. “I’ve always had my suspicions.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I’ve always tried to be so reserved and secretive with my true desires. I didn’t think anyone else would notice. 

He shifts on the couch again. When he does, something catches my eye, there’s a very large bulge in his shorts. 

Noticing me looking at the log snaking down his leg, he starts running his hand over it and smiling. “Have you ever sucked a cock before?”

I realize my mouth is hanging open. I gulp, shaking my head. “Not a real one.”

He laughs at that, it breaks some of the tension, then he shrugs. “Well, there’s a first time for everything…” he gently pulls at his zipper, snaking it down ever so slowly. But he doesn’t pull it out, just leaves it open, letting my imagination run wild. “Do you want to suck it?” He asks. 

Again I find myself dumbfounded, this is all happening so fast, but before I can think about it I find the word escaping my lips. 

“Yes.”

He chuckles. “Good, because you were going to have to do it anyway. This place ain’t cheap.”

After our awkward laughter dies down, I’m left in the precarious position of what to do next. Luckily, he guides me after several seconds of silence. 

“Open my pants.”

I reach a shaky hand to his button, it takes me a bit to get my fumbling fingers to work it free. 

Again, I’m lost as to what to do next. Should we kiss? Do I close my eyes? What do I—

“Take it out.”

His direction helps. It’s easier for me to follow orders than it is to take initiative in such uncharted territory. I reach my hand into the waistband of his boxers, feeling around for it, my heart beating out of my chest. It doesn’t take me long at all to find the warm, fleshy member. I gently pull it back, it bends a bit before snapping out of the boxers to stare straight up at me. 

It’s big. Very big. I can barely wrap my fingers around it. The veins are popping out the side, and I can even feel his own heart beating through it. Pulsing. Rapidly. He’s just as nervous as I am but he doesn’t show it. 

“Well...it’s not gonna suck itself…”

I realize I’ve been staring at it for a while. I use my other hand to wipe the drool from my mouth. Maybe I shouldn’t have. Somehow my throat feels both dry and wet at the same time, it doesn’t even make sense. Finally, I push past the nervous excitement, and lean forward. His cock seems to grow as it gets closer to my face. I’ve imagined this moment over and over for years. I’ve watched countless videos through the lens of girls wearing a GoPro on their head taking big, giant dicks into their mouths. But somehow this is different. I’m the girl now. It’s my POV, and it’s what I've always dreamed of. 

I open my mouth when I’m inches away and close my eyes, imagining I'm one of the girls in those videos. 

The head of his dick already feels different than my dildos. It’s squishier, warmer, and tastes just a little bit salty, but in a good way. In a great way. This is what I've always wanted, and I’ve finally gotten it. 

I hear a soft moan escape my lips just before they close around his cock. It sounds pathetic, but I don’t care. Things finally feel…right. Like this is what was supposed to be in my mouth all along. All those things they told me in sissy porn were true. 

I take him deeper in my mouth. I find it easier to slide it  down my throat than my dildo. I take it as far as I can until my eyes water, then go back up for a breath. 

In the overwhelming rush of stimuli, I forgot all the techniques I’ve practiced for so long. I try to remember: swirl your tongue, suction on the way up, not down, and most importantly: keep it nice and wet. 

I let the drool run from my mouth, using my hand to coat his cock with it, taking a breath before diving back down. 

“Someone’s been practicing.” He breathes. 

I melt at his praise. I always wanted to be a cocksucker, and I always hoped I’d be a good cocksucker. But you never really know, my dildo doesn’t make noises. 

But him? He was breathing heavily, moaning, groaning, and doing all the things that told me I was doing something right. It ignited a fire in me. With every grunt he made I found myself getting more and more enthusiastic so as to make it happen again. 

Leaning over across the couch next to him is a bit awkward, though. 

He notices. “Get on your knees.”

I take him out of my mouth and scramble a little too eagerly onto the floor between his legs. 

He looks down at me, almost victoriously, like his plan has come to fruition. I am in no way perturbed. In fact, my cock is screaming inside my pants. I don’t think I've ever been this hard in my life. 

“Looks like you’re enjoying yourself.” He says, apparently noticing my penis poking prominently through my pants. “You can touch it.” 

Is that his decision? I guess so…because as soon as he says it I find my hand going inside my pants. 

“No no.” He says. “On the outside. Rub it like you’re a girl. A sissy girl.”

Just the sound of that word gives me a wave of pleasure. I’m so hot and bothered that my body is quaking. I love the way he’s dominating me. Taking my power away so I don’t have to make the decisions myself, and therefore making me more relaxed about doing something I may otherwise have chickened-out on. Would I be here, on my knees, about to suck his cock if he hadn’t made me? Is he making me? Or am I doing it on my own volition?

I knead the front of my crotch. Feeling my throbbing cock and nestling my aching balls. I feel a bit weird with him watching me, so I turn my attention back to his cock. Well, more specifically, his balls. I’ve learned that when worshipping a man—as I’m doing right now—maintaining eye contact while lapping at his balls is one of the perfect ways to show your submission. I also know (from being on the receiving end) that having your balls sucked does not feel nearly as good as porn makes it seem, it’s actually kind of painful. 

So after licking his sack and stroking for several seconds, I spit on his dick and take it back into my mouth with renewed vigor. My own balls are aching at this point, I can feel them turning blue. I use two fingers and twirl them in circles over my pants while I bob up and down on Max’s dick. 

“Fuck yea…” he moans. God it feels so good to make him make those noises. “I’m gonna cum.” 

So am I. 

Knowing he’s on the verge gets me insatiably hot. I want nothing more than to get him to bust in my mouth, like some sort of primal need. 

I hear myself moaning again. I’m not sure if it’s from the pleasure I'm giving or receiving. 

“You want it in your mouth?” He asks considerately. 

“Mhmm!!” I swoon hungrily around his dick. My hand gyrates over my own. The thought of making a man cum in my mouth is too much to handle. I feel a warmth fill my pants as I shake and convulse, trying to keep my focus on his dick while I spasm in an intense orgasm. 

I feel the desire begin to fade. The reality of what I'm doing seeping in. This is my roommate, and I’m on my knees in our living room slobbering all over his big dick like a girl he just met on Tinder. 

“Ohh yea…” he twitches. I can feel the head of his penis swelling, even more than it was before. It gets me excited again. Eager. Desperate. “Right there, just like that! I’m almost there…”

I’ve never been on the receiving end of that statement. Guys saying they’re almost there but are actually a few minutes out. 

My cheeks are starting to burn, my throat is getting sore, it burns from the bile of gagging, I need air, to take a break and a breath, but I don’t want to lose my progress. I need to power through and do what I need to do. 

He grips the cushion of the couch. His legs flail and tense. The head of his cock is bigger than ever. His breathing becomes labored, syncopated, and then it stops. 

That’s when I felt the first gush hit my tongue. Even though I was expecting it, I wasn’t exactly ready for it. Another pump, and then another. I worry I won’t be able to hold it all. 

He gives a big exhale, and that’s when I know he’s spent. I hold his dick and his cum in my mouth a bit, not exactly sure what to do next. I suck a bit more to pull out any remaining drops, then take him out of my mouth. 

The jizz is warmer than I expected it to be, saltier too, but it doesn’t taste bad. It’s my reward. A token of my accomplishment. I just sucked my first real dick, and it was everything I hoped it would be. 

I gulp down the load, smiling gratefully like any good little slut would. 

“Good job.” He says, patting me on the head like I’m a well-behaved puppy. “Now run along…”

That’s it. He doesn’t say anything else. Just pulls up his pants, zips them back up, grabs the remote, and resumes the Hockey game. 

A little disheveled, I wipe the slobber from my mouth, get up, and head out of the room like a discarded toy. What did I expect to happen? For us to cuddle and whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ear? I don’t even think I would want that. But to be thrown away like that makes me feel…used. 

Then I remember the wet, sticky stain in my pants. A reminder that I enjoyed myself, a lot. 

So I guess it’s no surprise that when I got back to my room, I shut the door, locked it, and started enjoying myself two more times…

To Be Continued

#roomies

[bunnliix]

The Invisible Strings that Bind Us - Chapter Eight

This is a week late, but here is chapter eight!! This was really cute but also sad to write, because reader is heading home temporarily to pack up her life, so she can come back to Stray Kids and Korea to stay.

masterlist wc: 4.2k warnings: crying, the boys and reader being sad, cute fluffy moments but that's not really a warning? Basically this is a cute but also kinda sad chapter

A few days have passed since the boys’ studio day, and between then and now, it had been decided that y/n would head home the next morning. She still had to get her life in order back home, so that she could come back here to live with them. The tickets had been bought, and it had been decided that a week back home should be enough for y/n to get everything she needed to move halfway across the world, as well as ensuring that her bunny could indeed come with her, and that she could smoothly finish off the rest of her degree online. She had also worked with the older boys and the few staff members they trusted to get her a temporary soulmate visa, that allowed her to stay in the country for the moment, as well as allowing for a smooth return once she came back. 

Neither she nor her boys were happy about her leaving, and oh were they vocal about their protests. Once she had announced her return to Canada, the younger ones were all over her, begging her not to go. Binnie and Chan had to pull them off of her, that’s how much they were clinging to her. Seungmin was surprisingly just as clingy as the others, and he looked adorable, even if he denied it ever happening once he realized what he had done. The boys had torn apart their closets, looking for clothing she could take with her, to remind her of them, since they’d all be feeling the strain of being apart so quickly after they had bonded. It wasn’t recommended for soulmates to be long distance once they had their first contact with each other, since it placed a strain on the soulmate bond, and eventually, the soulmates themselves. The boys weren’t as worried about themselves as they were y/n, since she would feel the strain of eight soulmate bonds, instead of just one.

This is also why, despite her protests, they hired one of their North American bodyguards to meet her at the airport in Canada. They were worried about the toll her body would be under, and because of that, wanted to make sure she’d have someone to take care of her should she need it. She didn’t think she would, but she gave in, knowing that it would help them feel better about her being so far away, even if it was only for a week. 

These last few days, the boys have taken the time to make sure they all spent as much time as she could, meaning that y/n went almost everywhere with them, when they had to leave the house. This led up to where they were currently, y/n in the middle of the couch with the boys huddled around her as much as they could be, watching some rom-com that Hyunjin and Felix had argued over for almost 30 minutes.

“Why do you have to leave? It’s not fair. Stay here forever with us.” Felix whined.

“You know why I have to go, and it’s only for a week Lixie pixie. I’m packing up my life back home, so I can come here and stay with you all, okay?” She replied, ruffling the blonde man’s hair as he sat in front of her. 

“Still not fair.” The sun god of a man mumbled, pouting.

“I’ll be back before you know it. And are you really going to spend our last night together for a week pouting the whole time?” She questioned him, to which he pouted more, before sighing and dropping the pout from his face.

“Nooo.”

“Good. Now, what’s the plan to spend my last night here before I fly tomorrow morning?” She asked, addressing all of the boys.

“Well, since we can’t all accompany you tomorrow to see you off, we decided on a sleepover here in the dorm so we can all spend the night together.” Chan told her.

“‘Cause only Chan-hyung gets to go with you tomorrow, company’s orders.” Changbin said, upset.

“You know it would be a bad idea for the entirety of Stray Kids to show up to the airport. Plus, once I’m back here, you can all welcome me back to the dorms, and maybe convince the company to let a few more of you welcome me at the airport.” She said, putting the idea into their heads, knowing it would placate them for the moment.

It worked, since the boys then looked forward to that instead of being upset about not being able to see her off in the morning. The boys had lent her suitcases to take back home, plus they may have snuck things into said pieces of luggage, not that y/n knew that. They didn’t want her going back, even temporarily, without a piece of them. Felix may have slipped more than a couple pieces of his clothing, without the others’ knowledge.

They spent the rest of the night setting up the living room for a sleepover, dragging out mattresses, pillows and blankets from the various rooms, plus the other half of the boys bringing their own bedding over from their dorm. The floor of the main room was covered in mattresses, but it made for the coziest sleepover y/n’s ever had. She was once again pushed to the middle of all of them, though there was a vicious fight over who got the spots next to her. Minho just slid in on one side of her while they fought, and once Jeongin realized, he took the place on her other side before the others realized, sparking a round of yells once they finally saw the two men on either side of y/n. 

“Yah! That’s not fair!!” Changbin yelled at the two men on either side of their only female soulmate. 

“You should have decided not to play fair then. Tokki is mine now, tough luck.” Minho told the younger man, wrapping his arms around her as he talked to Binnie.

The buff rapper pouts, falling onto the mattress next to the maknae, laying face down and not looking at anyone. Chan chuckles, laying on top of the man, who starts to protest but doesn’t win as Chan showers the rapper in love and affection, and the others, including y/n, coo at the cute moment between the two men.

Despite the original plan being to watch movies, that doesn’t happen because of Stray Kids’ shenanigans.They instead spend the rest of the night going from playing around to to cuddling up together to many many hugs and cuddles. The amount of physical affection, minus kisses, could not be understated. Y/n felt as if she couldn't escape the physical affection from the boys, not that she minded in any way, she really enjoyed it. She lived and thrived off of physical affection from others, and coming from her soulmates, that feeling was amplified by 1000. 

Y/n fell asleep first, once again, both feeling exhausted from all the planning she’d have to do, plus the urging from the more responsible members to get sleep because she’d need it for the next morning's activities. The eight soulmates gathered around her, all of them touching her in some way as they curled around her in a protective circle. They weren’t ready to let her go, even if it was only temporary. They were scared she’d go home and not want to come back, even after she’s voiced her excitement to be moving here to be with them.

As the boys settled down, trying to be quiet so as to not wake their sleeping soulmate, a couple rounds of yawns passed through the boys, sleep starting to try and claim them. And it did, slowly they settled into whatever position they found comfy, most of them laying on top of each other in a bid to try and get closer to y/n, even in their sleep. This time Chan wasn’t the last one to fall asleep, Seungmin was. The vocalist stared at his sleeping soulmates, happiness in his eyes and his heart felt full once more, and he whispered his love for them into the silence that surrounded him, only for his ears to hear. He laid down, breathing deeply as he closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep, feeling safe within the arms of his soulmates.

Time skip to the next morning...

The alarm to wake up y/n and Chan went off too early the next morning, it felt like barely any time had passed, let alone that anyone got a great amount of sleep that night. Chan jumped out of the makeshift bed after seeing what time it was. He quickly moved to his room to get dressed, before coming back to wake up y/n and the others, knowing they wouldn’t want to miss seeing off their soulmate.

“C’mon guys, time to wake up. Y/n, you have a plane to catch in a couple hours, you have to get up and get dressed.” He said to everyone, directing the last sentence to their newest member of their not so little group.

The boys groaned, unhappy that they had to get up, and y/n sat up quickly wiping the sleepiness out of her eyes. She groaned as she stretched, untangling herself from the pile that was 7/8ths of Stray Kids, and moved to head to Jisung’s room, where her luggage and clothing for today had been stored. Thankfully this bedroom still had a bed to sit on, since they hadn’t pulled Han’s bed for the mattress pile that existed in the living room. She quickly rid herself of the comfy clothes she had slept in, changing into the, admittedly, comfy airport outfit that the more fashion forward men had put together for her. From the look of the outfit, she wasn’t expecting it to be as comfortable as it actually was, but damn, she may just have to steal this outfit for herself now. They couldn’t take any of it back. Nope. It was hers now.

She was almost ready to head back out to the main room when a knock on the door stopped her. 

“Yes? Come in, I’m decent.” She told whoever was on the other side of the door, which turned out was the owner of the room, Jisung.

He trudged into the room, clearly not ready to be up at this hour, falling onto his bed and nearly busting his head open on one of the suitcases. She winced, moving to check on him, only to be waved away and assured he was okay, it was just way too early to be awake right now.

“But if you weren’t awake right now, you wouldn’t be able to see me and Chan off to the airport this morning.” She reminded her birthday twin, who she could see pout at the reminder of why he’s sacrificing his beauty sleep.

“Why do you have to leave so early in the morning?” Jisung whined, dragging out the last syllable of morning.

“Because this will allow me to get a flight home at a decent time. You forget I don’t have just one flight. I have a connecting flight to catch after my flight back to Canada.” She informed her soulmate, sighing afterwards.

“You’re gonna be so far away. Why do you have to be so far away?” He asked, or well really whined yet again.

“Because that’s how it is Ji baby. I’ll be back before you know it.” She told him, leaning down to kiss the top of his head as he still laid on the bed.

What she couldn't see was that her words and actions left him blushing and slightly malfunctioning once again. He heard her leave the room, letting out a groan once she was out of earshot. Why was he so affected by her, he’s usually not this flustered by simple things like pet names and kisses. Sure, sometimes he does get really flustered like this, but fuck he feels like a teenager again getting flustered by being called ‘baby’ by her.

Back to y/n, she’s pulled her luggage out to the main room, finding half of the men there, while the other three were in their rooms in this dorm. They smiled at her when she returned, though their smiles were sadder than she had seen.

“Why are you four so gloomy and sad?” Y/n questioned, a frown appearing on her face.

“Because you’re leaving us.” Minho answered for the group of them.

“I’ll be back soon though, and I’ll message you all every day I’m gone. I promise.” She told the four of them, moving to sit near them all as they were spread out across the mattresses and couches. 

The five of them chatted, and when y/n talked about food and such that she’d miss from her home once she moved here, which then got onto the topic of nostalgia and then back to some of them begging her to bring her favorite snacks home with her. She laughed at their insistence, promising that she’d bring home a lot of snacks for them to try.

Chan walked out to the living room, the missing three following behind him, a frown on his face. Somehow, without him saying a word, she knew it was time to go. It was time to leave her soulmates for a week. Sure, she was coming back in seven days, but that’s seven days without being able to hug and cuddle and be around her wonderful soulmates. She sniffled, feeling tears starting to collect in her eyes as she looked around at the eight men she’s spent the last almost week with.

“Oh babygirl. Don’t cry or we’re all going to cry.” Chan said, kneeling down in front of her, wiping away the tears that escaped.

“I can’t help but cry. I don’t want to leave you all yet.” She said, sniffling. 

“It’ll be okay tokki. The sooner you go, the sooner you'll come back to us.” Minho reminded and reassured you as he came to sit next to you.

“I wish we could sit around and talk more about this, but we really do have to go now.” Chan said, sighing as he stood back up, arms reaching out to pull you up off of the mattress.

As soon as you were standing up by yourself, Hyunjin came over to hug you, burying his face in your neck, whispering to you how much he would miss you while you were gone. You wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him close, one hand rubbing his back as you comforted him. After a couple minutes, he pulled back, looking at you with tears in his eyes, and you moved a hand off of his waist to brush them away.

“It’s okay Jinnie, I’ll be back before you know it. We can facetime any time you want.” She told him, before pulling back from his embrace.

“I’m gonna miss you, you better be safe while I can’t protect you.” He told her, looking directly into her eyes, his expression and voice conveying the seriousness of his words.

“I’ll be safe, don’t worry Binnie.” She replied.

He kissed the top of her head, and only when Minho came to stand next to both of them, did he let go of y/n, who was immediately swept into the butt hunter’s arms. Though this time there was no butt hunting, just Minho holding her close as he rested his chin on her head. 

“Come back safe to us.” He whispered to her, kissing the top of her head before he pulled away, moving away quickly.

Felix and Han both approached her, tears falling down the sunshine duo’s cheeks as they looked at her with such sad eyes.

She opened up her arms for both of them. “Come here you two.” She said, tears bubbling up in her own eyes at seeing the two of them cry.

They almost collapsed into her arms, crying and begging her not to leave. Tears trailed down her cheeks as she listened to their tears and cries. She pulled them closer, resting her head on their shoulders, trying her best not to break down.

“It’ll be okay my sunshines. You know it’s only for a little bit. I’ll be back with all of my things and my bunny, and we can be here together for the rest of our lives. Now please stop crying or I’ll never be able to leave.” She comforted her two darlings, trying to do her best to make them feel at least a tiny bit better.

The two ‘00 liners had to be pulled away by the older members, so that the remaining two members, who wouldn’t be taking her to the airport, could say goodbye. Jeongin came up to her and engulfed her in a hug, then very shyly kissed her forehead, not being able to look her in the eyes after that.

“Be safe noona. Come back to us and bring us lots of snacks please.” He told her, a blush clearly painting his cheeks.

“I will, be a good baby bread for your hyungs, yeah?” She told him, before pulling away from him, but not before leaning up and kissing his own forehead.

She turned to look at Seungmin, the last soulmate she had to say goodbye to. He opened his arms for her, a soft look on his face even as he tried to appear strong in front of everyone. She walked into his embrace, laying her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. He leaned his head on top of hers, his arms pulling her close to him.

“I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but come back to us safe and in one piece, please? I just got you, I don’t want to lose you already.” He told her, voice soft.

“I promise you that I’ll come back home safely, okay? I couldn’t bear not being able to return home to you all now that I’ve met you.” She told him.

He held her close, before leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek. She felt herself blush, and once the slightly younger man pulled away, saw that he was blushing as well. She quietly laughed at him, and made him smile slightly. He pulled away from her, and she reluctantly let him go.

“It’s time to go now babygirl. No more delaying it, or we’ll be late.” Chris told her, and she sighed sadly, moving to pick up her carry-on bags as the oldest member grabbed her other luggage. He guided her to the door, where Felix helped her slip on her shoes, smiling sadly up at her after he finished tying her shoelaces.

Chan opened the front door, leading her through it and letting her wave goodbye to the rest of the group before leading her downstairs and out of the building, straight to the car that was waiting for them. Y/n slipped into the back of the car, as Chan and the staff member accompanying them helped pack her luggage into the trunk. Chan slipped into the car, which then quickly left the apartment building. 

“We’re going to miss you, even if it’s only for a week. I’m going to miss you. I really wish I could go with you.” Chris told her, reaching out to hold her hand, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. She smiled at him, telling him that she knew, and that she’d miss them just as much.

They spent the ride to the airport in comfortable silence, mostly just taking this time to enjoy this alone time with each other, something that the two of them had yet to have. They talked occasionally, but mostly just leaned on each other, intent to remember these moments until y/n returned to Korea again. It felt like no time at all had passed when they arrived at the airport. 

Chan had to don a hat and mask to try and lessen the risk that he’d be recognized, but he was intent on accompanying you as far as he could, knowing that it’s not a stress free process, when you consider it’s a long flight and y/n was leaving her soulmates for the first time after meeting them, which is stressful enough. He pulled her bags behind him as they walked to the check in counter, y/n carrying just her carry-on bags despite her insistence on taking more, getting denied as Chan wouldn’t allow her to take either of them. Once they got her checked in, and Chan took care of any baggage fees, he slowly led her over to security.

“Call me or one of the others once you land, okay? We’ll be watching the flight tracker but call us anyways, once you land after each of your flights. I’ll be worried otherwise.” Chan told her.

“I promise I’ll call you, or text you if I’m unable to call at that moment, okay? I’ll be okay Chris, I promise. It’s two flights and then I’m back to my home in Canada. Please don’t worry about me too much?” She replied, looking up at him.

“I can’t promise you that, babygirl. I’ll worry about you until you’re back here in my arms. And I think it’s time for you to go through security before the line gets any longer, okay?” He said, looking down at her, a tear falling from his eye before he was able to wipe it away. 

“I don’t want to leave. But I know that I’ll be back and you all can meet my bunny and it’ll be okay. Only seven days and I’ll be back home with you all.” She reminded both him and herself.

Chan pulled her into one of his hugs, those hugs that she’s seen the others melt into, that she herself is melting into, holding onto him as if the minute she lets go, he’ll disappear. She felt him kiss the top of her head, and mumble something she couldn’t quite make out, but then he pulled away, tears brimming in his eyes. 

She couldn’t just let him go like this, and pushing aside any fears, she pulled down his mask and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. She closed her eyes as their lips connected, trying to convey just how much she was going to miss him through the kiss. She felt him kiss back after a moment, his arms wrapping around her back and holding her close. Sadly, she had to pull away once she was running out of air, but she looked up at him with so much love and care for him in her eyes, unable to tell him how she felt just yet, but wanting him to know that she already cared for him, and the others, so much that she would never be able to fully convey those feelings with words alone. 

“Baby, you can’t just kiss me like that before you leave. I’ll want to keep you here forever.” He spoke, breathless and in slight shock after what just happened.

“Well, then return the kiss when you come back here to pick me up in a week, then you can really keep me forever.” She told him, kissing his cheek before pulling out of his arms.

He whined at her leaving his arms, but she only smiled and giggled, moving in once more to pull his mask back up to hide his identity. She grabbed her bags, and looked at him again.

“We’ll be standing here in this airport again in only seven days, think of that instead of me leaving. See you soon, Christopher Bahng.” She said to him, smiling through the tears that were brimming in her eyes, before she turned around and walked into the security area.

Chan watched her until he couldn’t see her anymore, and then he left to head back home to the remaining seven soulmates.

Y/n finally made it through security and headed towards her gate. Thankfully, and she praised the airport gods, her gate was close to the security area. She quickly arrived at it and found an empty spot by the window to sit down and watch the planes land and take off. She waited there until the call came for her to board. The boys had made sure she’d be comfortable during her flights, buying her first class tickets even though she protested she didn’t need it for her second flight home. The long halt flight back to Canada, she wouldn’t argue against having more room, however. It would be great for the 14-hour flight. 

She passed through boarding quickly, settling down in her window seat and getting prepared for take-off. Thankfully it wasn’t long before the rest of the plane was boarded and they set off. She watched out the window and waved goodbye to South Korea and her soulmates as she started her journey back home to Canada.

Prev | Next

Taglist: @queen-thiccness @k-k-kn1v3s @ihrtlix @calisnewworld @lailac13

@thegingerthatwaited @hyunmikim

#skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz imagines #ot8 x reader #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

[queerfables]

I'm very hopeful for Buck/Eddie to become a canon ship, it would be great if that's what the show is doing, but also the more that I watch the more I get really emotional about what the show has already done by making Buck bi.

I'm reluctant to say too much about this since I'm only on s4 but I feel like... this show always impresses me with how sensitive and real its portrayal of its characters is. With Buck in particular, my sense is that they have been doing on purpose what a lot of shows do accidentally with their macho action hero male leads, which is to deconstruct that role and expose what lies beneath the preformative bravado. And what that is is just a person with hang ups and vulnerabilities like anyone else. He's not uniquely strong and he's also not uniquely damaged, he's just someone trying to figure out who he is and find a place where he belongs.

Looking back on the pilot with what I know now about his past, I think that must have been the first time he's ever really fought for something he cared about (except for Maddie, and I will never get over him continuing to write to her for years even though she never responded, and her keeping the letters). Buck never fully belonged anywhere enough to fight to stay but being a fire fighter and working at the 118 is different.

What I love about his backstory is that although it isn't an inherently queer story - figuring out who you are and where you belong is something almost everyone experiences to some degree - Buck as a queer person who doesn't know it yet does make a lot of sense. I love that the show leaning into that reading of his character resonates so well with what they've already established about him. I love that he already has a community around him that includes queer people, and nobody he has to worry might not support him while it's all still new and uncertain even to himself.

If Buck/Eddie is where the show is going then I know they will do an amazing job with it, because character and relationship development is where this show really shines. And there's a whole other post in why queer Eddie would make sense (bi Eddie makes a lot of sense; at this stage, gay Eddie also makes sense to me and I think there could be a super interesting story in him coming to terms with his complicated feelings about Shannon in light of that realisation). But I also appreciate that the show isn't rushing into a Buddie otp storyline, that it's taking its time with the characters, and I appreciate that this is a show I actually trust to handle queer storylines well.

#911 abc

[realitys-ex]

Now, Everyone can agree that the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga is a banger (I assume both animes are too, but I haven't watched 'em so no comment).

What a bunch of people don't know is that the artist/writer Hiromu Arakawa has written 2 other original works (one is complete the other is ongoing.

Silver Spoon: About a kid from Tokyo who, to get away from the demands of his parents/the stress of academia, attends a Farming School in the middle of nowhere where he is p.much the only one without a farming background. Hilarity, character development, etc. ensues.

Daemons of the Shadow Realm: A dude is raised in a mountain village, farming, hunting. etc. Until one day a fucking helicopter comes out of nowhere, his village is 50% slaughtered, turns out that the village existed for the sole purpose of breeding him and his sister, and it is not the 1400s anymore. Oh and Demons are a thing. Violence, humour, character development, etc. ensue. (This one is ongoing)

Now they are both 10/10, and I highly reccomend reading them both But that is not the point of this post.

She has drawn hundreds, if not thousands of faces at this point, so it is no surprise that you will see some repeats between the mangas.

BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW JARRING IT IS TO SEE EITHER INCARNATION OF GREED, HIS CREW, OR ROY FUCKING MUSTANG HANGING OUT IN A SCHOOL TALKING ABOUT COW BREEDS?

REALLY FUCKING JARRING! (somewhat less jarring to see them in tactical gear murdering people, or speaking with demons, cause that feels slightly in character)

Anyway, that aside, if you liked her worldbuilding, realism, in depth characters, approach to romance, etc. I do really reccomend them both.

(She also did another one entitled 'The Heroic Legend of Arslan' but as I haven't read it yet and it is a collaboration, I didn't mention it above)

#Hiromu Arakawa #fullmetal alchemist #Silver Spoon #Daemons of the Shadow Realm #I'll skip tagging the characters as that feels like a bit of a stretch #again this is not to throw shade at all #she is an increadible artist and writer #I have re read fullmetal probably 4 times by now #silver spoon twice #and when you are as prolific as she is it is more of a feature or easter egg then anything else #but man did I do a double take the first time I was reading through silver spoon #I still do to some degree but not as much as the first time #also: her afterwards comics about arguing with her editor about when the comic would end #and the lack of love triangles in silverspoon were great

[zivazivc]

Does Hed help Les with grooming his back?

This is a really old ask about this post. And the answer is yes, definitely!

I ended up drawing them back in their room in Vibe City because I've been thinking a lot about them growing up there lately. This is a little before Les gets kicked out (big fight with dad) and they end up traveling around with Flea who is at uni at this point. (Flea isn't a local, he moved there because of uni a couple of years prior, and that's when Les and Hed met him. He is the only other mixed/non-fully funk troll they know at that point.)

In the drawing Hed is studying for a test. He's in the second year of high school when he drops out. This upsets and angers Les because he has good grades but Hed insists that they should form a band (like they used to talk about when younger) because he is secretly shit scared of letting Les live alone and fuck off to who knows where. - At this point in time Vibe City is pretty much grounded in the same location most of the time, and if Les doesn't have work, he likes to spend his time in the suburb/woods outside the city where he takes care of his beetle van, Scaab. And Hed is aware Les has been itching to leave the city for a while already...

This has been an unexpected mini lore dump, thank you for your time :P

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #ex bandmates #les #hed #flea didn't mind dropping out of uni bc dude was there for the student life and not much else lol #traveling around and playing at small gigs sounds like a better use of his time (his moms don't agree but he's 21 and can do what he wants) #i think rock and funk societies have similar school systems to ours and that their societies look the most like ours (to some degree) #pop trolls have elementary school but then what they call high school is just apprenticeships. and they have no higher education #answered #my art #trolls oc #vibe city is grounded because the king and queen aren't looking for their lost son yet (maybe they aren't even married yet?) #it's still quite a few years before the twin eggs are laid #also i think this is the first time i mentioned scaab by name #yes his name is scaab no i don't have a picture of him but i have tried drawing him plenty of times and i can see him in my head

[thotsfortherapy]

having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you

#cy says stuff #I moved out when I was 17 for a reason #but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time #every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it #I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there #but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink #or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent #or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back?? #like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things #I can put two and two together… #also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues ! #ahhhhh!!! #anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol #also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom #but what if your mom sucks what then #I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like #the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family #anyways ! #it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it #just #always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol #some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept. #it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood #but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭

[hella1975]

what does it mean to average 2:1 or 2:2? I don’t think we do that in America

okay so the uni grading system here is done based on percentages. the pass mark is 40%, which americans ALWAYS hit me with 'only 40???? easy!!!' so id like to clarify the content/exams are very difficult and the marking is very mean and generally it's really frustrating when people respond this way, like why tf would we have such a low pass grade otherwise it's a dumb assumption to make but anyway. you do about 6 modules a semester (on average, some courses have more/less), and each module will give you a final grade, and then the average of all your modules from both semesters will give you your final year grade. they're all marked by the same system, which is:

grade of less than 40% = fail

grade of 40%-50% = third class honours (called a third)

grade of 50%-60% = lower second class honours (a 2:2, literally said aloud as 'i got a two-two in my exam')

grade of 60%-70% = upper second class honours (a 2:1, said as 'i got a two-one'). this is what im PRAYING for.

grade of 70%+ = first class honours (just called a first). this is the highest you can get, so even if you get 90% you'll have the same grade as someone who got 72%. this is also what i mean by the exam system being really tough here, bc most people are just grateful to get a first.

#so last year i got averages of just over 60 in a lot of my modules but also some that i BARELY scraped a pass #bc id resat them and when you resit an exam (bc you failed the first time. lol. lmao) then even if you get 100% on the resit #they will cap you at 40%. so naturally it shafts your average #but i STILL SOMEHOW MANAGED TO AVERAGE WITH A 2:1 LAST YEAR WHICH IS WHY IN THAT POST I MADE BACK THEN I WAS FREAKINGGG OUT #bc that's genuinely such a good grade like that's an UPPER SECOND CLASS HONOURS and i never considered i could do that #bc of how much this degree has pumelled me into the mud. so yeah now that i know it's actually potentially feasible #im really really hoping to keep it up and end with a 2:1 #bc traditionally (and im not saying this is a correct way to think. you're not gonna see me of all people yapping about good grades #have you SEEN the state of my academics) a first or a 2:1 are considered the best outcomes with a degree #while a 2:2 is shrug not bad not great and anything lower is considered 'embarrassing' #and i literally MADE PEACE with the fact id be getting a piss poor grade out of econ so to find out all my hard work and struggling #MIGHT ACTUALLY PAY OFF ON PAPER??? WHEN IT LITERALLY NEVER HAS BEFORE???? POPPING MY PUSSY #ask #hella goes to uni

[sysig]

Silly goofy StanNarrator (Patreon)

#Doodles #The Stanley Parable #TSP #Silly mode leftover doodles from my alt notebook #I wasn't as concerned with making these finished or pretty but they did turn out cute >:3c #Since I've established that Sinister thinks in images the next logical step is imagining the Narrator - and he hates that ✨ #He is not made to be perceived! He is an imageless entity! A total enigma! Lol #If we as an audience can imagine what a Narrator might look like - to the best of our abilities - I don't see why Stanley wouldn't #Even if he's not Exact - personally I don't think it matters lol the Narrator isn't /meant/ to have a fixed form imo - it's still flustering #You give him so much material to work with Narra! To imagine what face you might make or your body language #Or worst yet when he plays with the mental projection like a doll - much like what the Narrator does to Stanley hehehe #How does it feel to be ''made'' to do things that wouldn't reflect you! It's an interesting role reversal that works within their confines #Also makes me wonder how much Narra would play into it haha - if Stanley ''flipped him upside down'' would he get dizzy? Even a little? #To what degree is he real! To what degree is Stanley real if he's not being interacted with!! The themes!!!! <3 #Anyway lol ♪ Silly Stanley noise chart for funsies #There are a lot of sounds humans can make with their mouths even discounting vocal cords - I could definitely see him doing verbal stims #Who me projecting again? Psh no anyway (lol) #And then some kisses! This is my first time drawing my versions kissing!!! Which actually solidified a new headcanon for the Narrator haha #Because he (ostensibly) needs his mouth to narrate he doesn't like kisses on the mouth :) He weak to it! #Doesn't stop Sin from enjoying kissing him lol - it's a good way to shut up him In Case of Power Play #But sometimes♪ he'll try to respect his wishes - not all the time tho haha

[running-in-the-dark]

well I can already tell this is gonna be a bad night

today has just been fucking weird and hard. I'm in a bad mood. everything feels bad. (probably not helped by me not taking the new antidepressant last night so I wouldn't sleep all day)

the plan was for my friend to come over this weekend to help me pack. she did that last time and it helped a lot. (my husband could help, obviously, but he's in charge of other things that also need to get done. plus he's very bad at putting things into boxes.)

but the rail strike is still going on so it's likely that she won't be able to get here (or get back in time). so now that's suddenly a lot more stressful and the one thing that I thought would make it go okay is gone.

and I also have to like. at least reread my thesis a few times or whatever to study for the oral exam on Friday. which will make me want to die. because it is bad. so. that will be bad. and the thought of being asked questions about that piece of garbage for 30 fucking minutes is so horrifying that I genuinely do not know if I will be able to get through it without taking my Lorazepam beforehand (which I know is a horrible idea, and my psychiatrist told me twice that it's a bad idea, and I know it would just make me unbelievably stupid. but holy shit that is the scariest thing I can imagine.)

and of course instead of doing anything useful I'm now just sitting here feeling like shit (like last night, only worse)

#it'd just be so fucking nice if I could just.. have a break #it's just been nonstop awful shit since my dad's cancer diagnosis in 🤔 2015. I'm sorry but that's too long. I can't do it anymore. I just #need some damn time to fucking calm down #like yeah any outsider would probably look at my life and think 'well you haven't actually DONE anything in like 6 years' #yeah that's true #but I've also been sick and/or in pain pretty much since 2018. and some of that was fixed last year when I had my gallbladder removed but i #is still not good. first of all that did not work out so well for me. but also everything else is still not right and no one cares and I #just don't have the energy to fight to get a diagnosis #I'm just so tired #I really thought I'd just. go to uni. get my degree in 3 years like expected. get a job. move out. have a normal life FINALLY for the first #time ever #and NONE of that fucking happened #EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. again and again and again #and I am just. so. tired. I can't. I can't do it. #it feels so fucking pathetic to be like 'my life is soooo hard everyone feel bad for me' when there is just. objectively not that much wron #but it just. never. stops. #I've never had a fucking moment to just. sit down. and think. and make decisions about my life. everything just. happens to me #I just. feel so lost and stuck and doomed and it won't fucking get better! it won't! my life got better ONE TIME and it has been pure hell #since then #like. no. it won't get better. this will keep happening over and over and over #I'll never have a choice. not really. I fucked up my life permanently when I dropped out of school at 18 and tbh I wish I would've just bee #brave enough to do what I really wanted then (killing myself) #because fuck. this is not worth it #literally everyone I love is either really fucking far away or just. fictional. #I have no close relationships with anyone irl #everyone I know irl is mean and kind of an asshole. and I'm too useless to meet new people. #I just. I don't want to survive anymore I want to live but I can't have that so. what's the goddamn point #its gonna be fine. because I'm a fucking coward so I'll never do it anyway. but I fucking wish I could

[damnprecious]

me: I feel it... the autumn vibes

the calendar: my brother in christ it's the middle of July

#noopa rambles #in my defense it's like 16 degrees currently and I'm not boiling and the hay is turning yellow #and I can smell the rain in the air #I do wish some summer temps still bc my tomatoes still haven't ripened at all 😭😭 #I fear I'm running out of time bc I have no memory when they started turning red last year #and then I had a glazed balcony so it was practically a greenhouse #now my balcony doesn't have glass so it's much more prone to the elements and the first chill once it comes

[adore-gregor]

wow

#that was unexpected #sooo i had a date today #from a guy i met on tinder and i always sweared i would never download tinder 😅 #well i got curious but it still lowkey freaks me out #anyways we had a gym date #at first i thought he wouldn't like me anymore after looking in the mirror and i always feel like i look horrible working out 😂 #and during the working out part we didn't talk that much and i was a bit worried #also yeah the guy looked really good 🫠 #really tall almost 1.9m and well my thoughts were 'uh he's hot' and i don't feel like that abt many guys 😳 #but then after the gym part we went to this hottub in the sauna part of the gym and talked #and he got closer to me i didn't know what to do as i haven't been on many dates at least not such one's #then he just kissed me asfhk #(which really surprised me on a first date but there also were signs it might happen) #i don't have much experience besides like once at a party but that was hardly a kiss #it felt weird at first but then as i gave into it i didn't hate it no it felt quite good 🫠🫠 #and he knew what he was doing for sure... #at times i was wondering wheter i was on some degree asexual as i didn't have a boyfriend yet and such i might not be #altough i don't think i can see myself having sex ever with someone i haven't been together for at least quite a few months #but yeah i did like this and that i had this experience 🙈

[weaselshaped]

I never actually posted Jeshya, did I

I have only been playing her very intermittently because I am ALLEGEDLY trying to take a break from this game, so I do not...quite have her deal pinned down yet; the favored enemy selection for rangers required me to slap together an extremely basic backstory for Swift before I started (which then quite unexpectedly had a huge impact on all of my decisions in Act 1 in a twist that is extremely funny to me only) but monks don't really have anything like that so I just have the guild artisan background and like, basic dragonborn lore to go on. Generally the idea is to play a character with a totally different (though not necessarily opposing) set of values than Swift because what is the point of replaying if you're just going to make all the same choices. It has been two long rests and she and Lae'zel have already fucked so I guess I am succeeding.

#Martin plays BG3 #Swift did come around on Lae'zel but they super got off on the wrong foot #However I think she rules so I am giving myself severe whiplash by playing her romance immediately after Gale's #I do not generally want to come into the game with a predetermined idea of what romance I'm going with (though since I'm trying not to #repeat them some degree of thought is inevitable now that my first run is over) but I did mostly decide on this in advance #btw I think I have figured out why I got her 'respect' line SO fast and it's a combination of a) addressing something in her personal quest #much faster than I got to it with Swift and b) not trying to stop her from being a total dick to Zorru for no reason #The More You Know. I guess #I still don't know how I got a completely different set of first-long-rest dialogues from everyone this time but whatever #Keeps me on my toes

[flovverworks]

the sanrio rustica & mitile r so cute......;_;

#stardust speaking ! #owen too............ #the caulius what the hell was the name event renewal looks......??? #hm. ill keep my judgement until ive played it to get a Feel for it but #the training is still required to some degree right? and my issue with the first run is how timeconsuming it all was #im glad the rogue-like-wannabe-thing-every game decides to put in these days is shortened so much #butwith everything else its just.....pls take less time T_^ #and like this is a issue ive had with a3 too. its slow. idm when the stages are auto thats alright #but its ssooooo slow and while going for the point reward ssr in a3 is doable its just. annoying. imo #a miracle i still open & play mhyk as often as i do considering i drop & pick up a3 All the time #cuz ultimately theyre both....................slow.............T_^........(mhyk Is faster tho #im glad a3 has sweep outside events but pleeeeaaseeee speed up the event gameplay ill play religously if u do i promise #anyway i have to be emotional about flowerworks again

[erabundus]

thinking  about  the  surprise  when  ren  felt  when  he  first  started  using  anemo  —  that  he  doesn't  have  to  wrestle  with  his  own  element  to  make  it  obey  him,  that  he  can  fight  free  of  pain  and  free  of  putting  any  unnecessary  strain  on  his  body.

#𝟎𝟎𝟒 : 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥. ◟ hc .◝ #( electro gives him more raw damage output but i think given enough time anemo would ultimately be of greater benefit. ) #( he's still trying to grow accustomed to it because he's used to just throwing all of his power at whatever obstacle he needs to remove. ) #( because electro wouldn't allow for that degree of finesse his only options were a) cook them or b) cook them more. ) #( and if he lost concentration or pulled too much power it would start to burn him. the fatui removed ALL of his limiters. even the ones -- #meant to keep his body from damaging itself. because even he can only take so much. ) #( whereas with anemo he doesn't have to fight it. he has complete control. it will never turn on him and / or hurt him. ) #( and it immediately allows for a much more precise degree of control even compared to the element he worked with for centuries. ) #( he just has to figure out how to use it properly & that's one of the funky little subplots cooking in the background ) #( he can reclaim his lost power he can even potentially ascend beyond it but in order to do so he has to understand it / himself first ) #( rn you can ask him to obliterate something & he'll do pretty good but you ask him to do something small / delicate & watch him flounder ) #( man only knows how to go 100% but he's using a scalpel instead of a hammer now ) #( anyway hi hello good morning i have class later but i'm going to try getting some things done before then!! )