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aemiron-main · 1 year

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mike having food issues isn’t a stretch, begging people to quit acting like it is

i just think it’s funny that people treat the idea of “there’s subtext that points to mike having issues with food” as some sort of ridiculous stretch and claim that it’s all just based on finn’s body when the show literally gave us Mike being mocked by other characters because of his weight, when Angela’s friend calls him a twig:

Like. I’m sorry to everyone who’s pointing out the urban dictionary of twig referring to a gay man, but even if that’s also the case, even if the duffers were consulting urban dictionary, the reality is that it’s far more commonly used to refer to someone skinny in a rude way.

Mike’s also the character who mocks Hopper’s weight in s3, calling his face a “fat tomato,” and then interestingly enough, we see tomato imagery again when Chrissy’s mom is tormenting her about her weight and directly contributing to her ED:

El is the one who makes the tomato comment, but Mike is the one who brings weight into it.

And then the next time we see tomato imagery is when Chrissy’s mom is tormenting her about her weight and we get the tomato pin cushion, and with the way the scene is setup, out attention is drawn to that cushion when you actually watch the shot in motion.

I feel like a lot of people on here have a very narrow definition of disordered eating and are basing all of their criticism on that narrow definition and are acting like everyone is saying that Mike is a Typical Anorexic Who Is Constantly Aware Of His Problems With Food. Instead, what I’m saying, at least, is that there’s strong subtext that points to Mike having anxiety and avoidance related food issues that stem from the frequent conflict at the Wheeler dinner table (something we see again in S4 when there’s conflict at the Byers’ dinner table and they go out of their way to show that Mike isn’t eating and also show Will noticing the fact that Mike isn’t eating), which still very much constitutes an eating disorder.

Will stares at Mike’s plate repeatedly, even when the scene cuts away and back to him. This isn’t a one time glance, Will literally cannot keep his eyes on his own plate:

It happens throughout the whole scene. Not only is the audience noticing that Mike isn’t eating, but other characters are noticing too.

And we also see Nancy calling Mike “disgusting,” for his food choices in S1, which is an offhand, relatively mild comment on its own, but when combined with the constant conflict at the Wheeler dinner table, especially conflict at criticism directed at Mike specifically, it becomes a setup for Mike’s anxiety and avoidance related food issues.

The setup is there for Mike to have avoidance/anxiety-related issues with food. It’s in the show, whether you’re comfortable with it or not.

I genuinely think that a lot of people on here (even those who have struggled with disordered eating themselves, because one person’s experience does NOT mean they understand everyone’s experience) could benefit from a deeper and wider understanding of what constitutes an eating disorder/disordered eating and various types of eating disorders, including ARFID. Disordered eating is far more common than people think it is, and it isn’t limited to “person who knowingly starves themselves because they hate their body,” it frequently has nothing to do with a person’s body at all, and just because you’ve had a different experience or a lack of knowledge of other experiences and research about eating disorders doesn’t negate the existence of knowledge and experiences that are different from yours.

Hopper very much deals with a disordered mentality around weight and food, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the same applies to Mike (albeit in a different way) considering how often the two of them are paralleled and how often those parallels are scenes that specifically relate to size/weight (see: Mike calling Hopper fat in S3, and the S4 hug scene where mike comments on Hopper’s weight/him shrinking).

I’ve repeatedly seen people say things about how there’s a “million other reasons,” for all of these scenes involving Mike and his food issues, and yet, they conveniently, never actually provide those magical alternate reasons, and would rather try and make people out as being weird for pointing out obvious subtext in the show. The evidence I’ve provided here is barely scraping the surface of all of the evidence that points towards Mike having food issues, and yet, people act like it’s some ridiculous stretch but also never actually provide an alternate explanation because apparently “the guy who’s frequently shown signs of anxiety and avoidance issues and self esteem issues and whose family dinner table is full of conflict and criticism directed at him has some anxiety and avoidance and self esteem issues that are tied to the conflict directed at him at his family dinner table,” is simply a far-off, insane stretch.

Begging people to put their thinking hats on and be willing to accept that their knowledge on a topic might be missing pieces and that they may be looking at a topic such as disordered eating through a narrow lens.

#stranger things #byler #tw ed #mike wheeler #st analysis #mike wheeler analysis #mike’s food issues

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thenamessparkplug · 1 month

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The Bad, The Worse, and The Downright Idiotic

A Wiatt Nicholson Analysis

YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED TO VERBALLY KILL THIS DUDE. I HAVE BEEN STRANGLING HIM WITH MY MIND SINCE THE COLLAPSE OF THE BUILDING. AND THIS IS WHY.

DISCLAIMERS!! : One, I have absolutely nothing against any of the writers on this show! You all are doing a fantastic job for how small this series is and I do genuinely adore the work you guys do < 3. Second, I want to make it clear that I do not condone anything Sara has done on her own terms. And she has done bad things on her own terms. She has done horrible things and I do not think that should be brushed under the rug. I do, however, believe her to be redeemable.

(side note I did get a lil sidetracked when talking about sara, whom I also have strong feelings towards and'll prolly get her own rant in the future)

What has Wiatt done?

Now Wiatt seems to have his heart in the right place, however good intentions hardly amount to much when your actions directly cause death, suffering, and irreversible damage.

He can’t tell that so much of what’s going on is because Litho knows he’s going to lead people directly into his own plans. This especially became evident in the last episode. Did he not remember the risks of anything relating to Litho?? Why on earth would he think it was safe for Pen, Lisa, or even Hayden whom narrowly survived?

I know by this point to take everything character’s say with a grain of salt (and I know this isn’t directly Wiatt’s fault either), but I really wanna get into what Hayden said while yelling at Wiatt. He states that since he arrived at dreamworld, someone has gone missing every week. Wiatt has worked here for at least a year. Even considering taking a month off for the collapse fiasco, that is 47 weeks. 47 people. THAT IS INSANE. Even cutting that number in half for hyperbole’s sake that’s still 23 missing people since Wiatt started. Jesus christ man.

What else has he done? He broke Starlight after recklessly jumping into a hole, got wtdw!rainbott seemingly mindwiped, recorded entirely private and frankly unrelated moments and UPLOADED them, been responsible for the deaths of his coworkers (to name a few anyways), and what does he have to show for it? A police station that thinks he’s insane. He couldn’t possibly have been more tactless trying to convince them to begin an investigation.

It seems he thinks that because the people he’s against are bad, that automatically makes him good - in the right - but he is so blinded by his sense of a binary wrong and right he fails to see the horrible things he himself has caused.

Against the Antagonist

I wanna talk about Sara for a second. From what we’ve learned thus far, and I know we haven’t gotten all that many Sara scenes, almost all of what Sara does seems to be attempting to clean up a mess she made many years ago, in comparison to Wiatt who does absolutely nothing but stir the pot.

Sara is stuck here; she is bound to Litho and cannot escape no matter how hard she wants to. She had friends. She’s doing what Litho wants because she has to. We saw what happened when she tried to defy him. Wiatt is only here because of one connection, but could literally leave whenever he wants no harm no foul.

Now the Norman thing I am curious about, because so far, I can’t figure out why 1. she killed him in the first place and certainly 2. why she kept the footage of it. She never seemed to hate Norman, if anything she would be against him for clearly being infatuated with Andrew, and I can’t really blame her for that? I mean nothing is enough to justify murder, but it wouldn’t be in cold blood. I’m also assuming this is before Dreamworld Entertainment due to the fact that Norman seemingly had no involvement. Another odd thing not only was he rebuilt to look exactly like he did when he was alive, but he retained all of his memories as well, and was given a higher power among the staff of Watchful Eye Toys, with memory control himself.

Whatever happened during his death must have been important.

But back to Wiatt. All of Sara actions, albeit terrible, were calculated and she did what she believed was necessary. Wiatt has no concept that his actions have consequences, so all he does is messy things up, making everything far worse than it needed to be.

Why should I care? (Comparison to Eric)

At the very beginning when Eric is first introduced, we are given no reason to care at all about him. I mean, we know he was friends with Lewis but that’s not enough to really grow any attachment to him. We start learning little facts about him, but when it really clicks is during the secret tapes.

Seeing Eric outside of the main plot, his real personality, his hopes, his dreams, his struggles starting from a young age up until how he is today. We’re given the chance to build connections with him and see him as a real person, a character with depth. Knowing his motivations and what built him makes it so easy to grow extremely attached, making any horrific things hit much harder.

Now moving back to Wiatt, we really don’t get to see the real him. We see him once interacting with Lewis, but even that was simply for plot relevance. We really know nothing about him. Even his transition, which would be so easy to capitalize on seeing as the viewership of Dreamworld is highly LGBTQ+, and many people would relate. But we get more about Mike’s transition than Wiatt, and he’s only ever had one real scene as himself.

That’s not even dipping into who Wiatt is as a person. What are his passions? Who are his loved ones outside of just Lewis? What was school like for him? What got him into the mechanic business? Who took care of him after his parents died? I understand this can be hard to smoothly integrate into a story but look how well it worked with Eric’s tapes.

Now this is getting much more into the writing side of the show, but I think something that's kind of lacking is character building filler. As much as having a concise plot is nice, without scenes or even full episodes dedicated to fleshing out our cast, it makes it really difficult to connect.

There’s so so much of his character to explore that we just never get into, and it kinda makes it hard to root for him when there’s nothing backing his character. Just like, a few more tapes of Wiatt would be plenty, something outside of Lewis. I would love to see his relationships with other characters (you cannot build a sense of character off one single relationship), how he views himself, just anything.

Its incredibly difficult to analyze a character when they seemingly have no depth.

In Conclusion

I am not a fan of Wiatt as it currently is (understatement of the year), but good god am I persuadable. I just want Dreamworld to give me a reason to root for him. Something to sympathize with, relate to. Have him improve. Allow him to realize his mistakes, and become a better person for that.

I don’t think he’s a lost cause.

But give me a reason to believe that.

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winns-stuff · 1 year

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LO RANT:

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that Persephone really got intimate with someone despite her sexual trauma and we just glossed over it like it did not matter. I don’t see how anyone could be satisfied or okay with this shit since the situation was a huge plot point for years, not months, YEARS. Yet the time when it finally came up to it everything was rushed and never spoken about again, like Persephone’s trauma is important and I don’t can’t understand how no one ever questioned that.

Like I keep saying in these damn rants, Hades has a plethora of explanations for his trauma and whole dedicated chapters towards Kronos and being eaten. Everything he does ties back to it and it’s clear that this affected him in a major way since we were able to actually see how different he was after the fact. We know so much shit about the Kronos situation yet we barely know bits and pieces about Persephone’s trauma and that gets on my fucking nerves, am I asking anyone to be descriptive? No. Am I asking anyone to speak on it every other chapter? No, but what I am asking is why didn’t it actually matter. The assault felt like it was only there to establish a bad guy, it also felt like it was only there to make Hades a knight in shining armor to save Persephone mainly because nothing she did up until then made any fucking sense. Something terribly traumatic happened to you and you’re telling me you’re going to tell that very personal and vulnerable piece of information to a guy from a party you got absolutely wasted at, ended up in his home, almost got attacked by his dog, and was offered to have sex with him over the slightest bit of shoulders revealing themselves. That’s absolutely manufactured, it doesn’t even make sense in the story at all which makes me feel like it was set up just so Persephone would have a reason to talk to Hades.

Which I personally feel is really fucked up, why did anyone think it was a good idea to have her assault be the reason why they’re made for each other? Persephone could’ve called him for literally anything else to build their friendship since she already was under the impression that they were friends, I don’t understand why she would trust him of all people when he was literally trying to get in her pants out of nowhere. And then every single thing tied to Apollo and her trauma in later chapters always somehow involved Hades, FOR NO REASON. It’s been established that she has a completely different support team that doesn’t even include Hades yet he’s the main one always there whenever she “needs to be rescued”, there’s no way that this wasn’t used as a fucking ploy to push these two together. It’s obvious that Hades isn’t a great person at all, like genuinely fuck the whole “he’s not perfect but he’s trying :(“ thing he’s just irredeemably bad, and by the looks of it he would never be a good husband or partner for Persephone so Rachel had to do something to cover that up and like everything with Hades it was ultimately the bare minimum.

It’s just so fucked up to me. You can’t even deny it either because there are dozens of stories (romance) where the main character has something absolutely traumatic done to them and the love interest just so happens to be there to “fix” them or “save” in this case. It’s very popular and I’m not saying that it’s always all bad, the way that you execute the trauma and the way that your characters interact with it are what makes it either really bad or really good. With Lore Olympus though, it had to be the worst case of this honestly because not only did you rush the healing process just so they could screw each other smoothly but you also made a complete mockery of it. I’m sure there’s a bunch of people who relate to Persephone’s story and I don’t want to knock them nor am I criticizing them and I understand that not all survivors are going to react the same, there’s millions of people on this Earth and since we’re not clones of each other we’re always going to share major differences, but this is just so incredibly bad. You have Persephone literally resting in the bed that she got assaulted in with a man, you have this man touching her and invading her personal space multiple times without asking days after this happened, and you have a man that you need to comfort while you tell him your own trauma. You see how none of this makes sense? I know not all survivors react the same I know it and I feel bad for even pointing this out but at the same time you’re going to be affected by stuff like this.

This was days after it happened everyone, days. Not weeks, not months, not years, not decades, and not even centuries. Days after Persephone experienced a huge violation of her body in her own room and she does not worry or think about it once when she’s with Hades. This stuff does not just go away, trauma never goes away because what’s done is done sadly your brain and body has already been affected and you may not be able to revert back to the person you were before. Of course there’s ways to make your trauma less prominent and less of a problem for your everyday life whether it be medically assigned pills, therapy visits, and other supportive resources that specialize in things such as that but it’s never just going to disappear from your life entirely. It’s going to follow you like a dark cloud and it’s going to control your every move especially when it’s just happened, it’s a massive impact on a person no matter how big or small which is why stuff like this needs to be taken more seriously. So many people expect you to get over it and forget about it but you can’t because it’s not something that you can forget so easily, it’s draining and it’s consuming and sometimes it’s very isolating. Which is why I appreciated the therapist episode since it really does showcase just how daily it can be and how it just molds itself apart of your everyday life but sadly I know it’s very clearly just trying to appease readers’ concerns about Persephone’s trauma being forgotten which makes me have another problem to talk about.

How am I supposed to believe that Persephone was struggling with this stuff almost everyday when there’s nothing alluding to that fact. Persephone rarely has any symptoms or experiences the effects of trauma unless Hades can be involved somehow, her trauma is only important and valid when the story can use it for romance and I think that’s again, very fucked up. You don’t see Hades’ trauma only being brought up so Persephone can fix them, he just says them and we can see how even though it’s been centuries he’s still dealing with the long term affects but you don’t see the story using it as a ploy to get them together (mainly), no one’s using Hades being swallowed up by his own father as a kid as some cute moment for Persephone to take him to dinner or something this treatment only happens to Persephone. If her trauma can’t be cute in some way then it’s not going to be shown and it’s again, very insulting.

Anyways, I will end this rant here yet I will never not be upset at the fact that Rachel only made Persephone “heal” just so she could give us the most unnatural intimate scenes ever. Endgame for them was just having sex and I think it’s so incredibly mind boggling that we’re supposed to look at this in a romantic sense, nothing about this is romantic and it’s very obvious that this was just used as “drama” which should’ve never been the case in the first place.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lo hades #lo persephone

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nekropsii · 1 year

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…I swear to God, why have like half the Beforan players tried to bone someone significantly younger than them??? Probably because the author’s a creep who got a kick out of it, but still, between what was just discussed with Rufioh, Aranea trying to hit on Jake, Cronus trying to bone his dancestor (jesus fuck) and Meenah dating a physically 13-year-old Vriska… that’s a THIRD of the dancestors? And those are just the four I’m aware of, I would be very disappointed but not at all surprised if there was a fifth.

Honestly, adults having inappropriate relationships with children is just a heavily recurring theme in Homestuck... It's not really all that surprising when you take a step back. Doc Scratch, Hussie's own self insert, Bro Strider... They're all much older than the Alpha Trolls are, and are creepy towards the Betas in some way.

Further discussion going under the cut.

Content Warning: Discussion of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Pedophilia.

... Man, I'm having to write about this topic a lot lately, aren't I? This isn't even close to the only ask left in my inbox about something adjacent to this. It's kind of... Flattering, in the weirdest way possible? I don't know, I'm often approached for my opinions on some of the much more serious and dark aspects of Homestuck. Things that people don't really know, or talk about, or address- like the racism issues, Dave's CSA, et cetera. It's not really prestigious, I don't think, but it does require a level of trust in maturity and literacy. I appreciate it.

Anyways, this is mostly going to be me adding to and even debunking your ask here. I think this subject both deserves and requires specificity. It's an extremely emotionally charged topic, so peoples imaginations tend to get a little... Carried away, when they don't know the full extent to what's happening. Considering how it's not easy to term search things said by most of the Alpha Trolls, and some people really just do not want to/cannot interact with things relating to Child Harm and Abuse... There's bound to be both a lack of information and an excess of misinformation. It's understandable, but... Deeply annoying for me in particular. Lol.

Let's do this.

---

The inclusion of Rufioh in this is both correct and based on some of my own posting on the matter. Rufioh was hitting on Aradiabot, who is 13, because she reminded him of Damara... Specifically remarking upon how she's "just like the real thing". Charming...

Here's where I'm going to supply a debunk: Aranea did not try to hit on Jake, and he is not significantly younger than her. That's a pretty ugly misconception. She's 19, and he is 16. She had zero romantic or sexual feelings towards Jake. Yes, she tried to kiss him once... Because she knew that he was attracted to her and assumed he'd appreciate her making a move on him. This was part of her little scheme to make him Hope-splode. She never did actually kiss him, and there was genuinely no consent violations involved in the situation- he told her to stop before she could, and she did. It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. If you're still put off by that age gap, that's fair and entirely respectable, but that's not "significantly younger", and the situation wasn't really objectively creepy.

... Cronus is... Fucking gross. His whole gimmick is that he is "The Worst Character in Homestuck", and boy does he succeed at it. He won that title. Earned it. Absolutely flying colors. He tried to "get with" Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan. By which I mean he stalked Karkat all the way to his house and then tried to break into it, got really handsy with Tavros in the middle of a crowd, and... Sexually assaulted Eridan- his own flesh and blood!- also in the middle of a crowd. All of these kids are 13 years old, and his main character trait is "Sexual Assault + Harassment". No one's free. Not even literal children! Cronus counts as a full-blown Pedophile, by the way!! There's your fun fact for the day.

Then there's Meenah, who had her whole thing with (Vriska), who was 13. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She was just 13. That was a whole arc, so it doesn't really need much elaborating upon, I hope.

---

That's... Just about it, I think? That's all I remember, anyway, as far as the Alpha Troll Age Gap Weirdness goes. So... Only 3 of them are really problems in that respect, which is 1/4th of the cast. Still an upsetting amount, but not... As bad as 1/3rd, as far as optics goes.

In full honesty, it's kind of funny to me how the Alpha Trolls who have overtly sexual theming are... Pretty normal about kids. Damara's nice to them and nobody else, we've got zero reason to suspect Mituna of anything, and Porrim's just chilling. It's accurate, if anything.

Hopefully this has been fun and/or informative. Have a lovely day.

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seek--rest · 5 months

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Curious why you think Tomdaya going public contributed to fandom going down. Thanks for your thoughts.

Let me first give the total and complete disclaimer that this is just my own thots and opinions, based on observation and interaction with the spideychelle fandom for the past four years. If you love tomdaya and think I’m wrong, that’s fine! I’m not your mom. I literally cannot control what you think so, remember that before any of you come in and start sending me death threats.

That being said, heres why:

when I first joined this fandom, I was told by several others who were around much longer than I that some if not all of the OG writers (and readers!!) were hardcore tomdaya fans first, Peter and MJ fans second. Their love for Peter and MJ was not just inspired by the actors that play them, but was directly related. I thought this was an exaggeration because surely Peter Parker and MJ— some of the famous comic book characters— weren’t JUST beloved because of who played them.

Only to then later find out that a lot of those same OGs dipped when the actors (presumably) broke up. But w/e, still didn’t put a lot of stock into it.

Fast forward to the lead up of NWH. Fandom is at a FEVER PITCH. Almost everyone is a Spider-Man fan. THOUSANDS are in love with Peter and MJ. Immediately after it’s released there’s so much fic in tag it’s— for the first time in my four years— overwhelming to try and keep up.

HOWEVER

It is no secret that the ending to NWH was— to put it mildly— devastating for large swaths of spideychelle fans for reasons I harshly disagreed with then and STILL do now

Namely that it’s so depressing and sad because it’s fandom, who gives a fuck about canon if you hate it. Write something different. It’s not like all of fandom just agreed with the identity reveal. I didn’t then and still don’t now get why people didn’t just ignore the ending en masse.

AND— that it was “fan service” for all the wrong people/reasons or that it wasn’t the Peter and MJ they loved or that it was “disrespectful” to tear apart their “great love story” To me, again— this is silly. Peter Parker in the MCU is not and has never been this bumbling sweet innocent boy nor did Peter and MJ ever actually have a relationship on screen. I think people just genuinely read too much fanfic and forgot what kind of movies actually existed.

(I can say this because I’ve literally written hundreds of fanfics so I’m not just being a hater lmao)

You might be wondering: how does that tie-in with the actors dating irl???? Well. My theory is that people were right: most spideychelle fans, they were Tom and Zendaya (and/or Tomdaya) fans first, spideychelle second. They might enjoy the characters or like them, but push comes to shove, they’re not here for the characters in and of themselves: they want to see Tom and Zendaya.

(Which also speaks to the kind of tropes people want in fic and the type of material they want in canon, 80% of which doesn’t make sense for spider-man)

When canon was disappointing/not what they wanted, it was a lot easier to get over it / leave because the true object of their affection (the actors) was still there and PUBLIC. There wasn’t any need to write or want to read fics about Peter and MJ in ANY scenario because? They can just project, discuss and dissect the paparazzi photos, appearances, discourse of the real life actors. That was the main draw anyway so the spideychelle “ending” being disappointing in NWH, in this viewpoint, just helped cut out the middle man.

You might be saying “seek, that’s wildly speculative” and it is! But it’s based on years of observation…… and I’ve also deadass seen commentary and reblogs from people who basically said as much, preferring “spideychelle” stories that were no-powers or had very little to do with spider-man and that they were glad tomdaya is “real” now anyway lmao

It’s just a theory, and likely isn’t true for everyone. I have strong feelings about how people objectify and stalk the actors so maybe that influences how I see it all but! There it is!

#seek speaks

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merrycrisis-if · 1 year

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allie hi omg i’m so late but i finally played the update and I LOVED IT SO MUCH like idek where to start because i played all the routes and they’re all so good. plus the 18+ scenes got me slutting out for real 😭😭

okok listen the added details in qiu’s first flashback literally drove me crazy like “you’re a hard person to catch alone” QIU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM IN LOVE WITH YOU 😭😭😭 and the new flashback!!!!!! like not to make it about me but it reminded me sm of the bday drabble you wrote me last year and let me tell you. a bitch (me) was giggling <3333 the bit where qiu wiped a bit of cheesecake off mc’s lips and mc teased them about making a move to kiss them was so fucking cute :((( and even taking them fishing and the dinner ugh just ALL OF IT!!! they really pulled all the romantic shit and even cut classes for mc and still couldn’t commit to a relationship smh

also nat…… when i say that steamy scene blindsided me and the way they did what they did underwater… i lost my damn mind over that flashback 😮‍💨😮‍💨 but omg that phone call idk what i was expecting but it wasn’t a breakup conversation. when nat said “i need someone who’s here” and “i don’t want scraps when i’ve had all of you” ……. yeah i’m fine 🥲 when mc was like “i wish nat would say smth hurtful so i could hate them” i was like yeah same because nat is so nice and supportive and so spouse material it’s literally impossible not to fall in love with them

but also shay…. god their scenes were fucking insane i was BLUSHING 😭😭😭 there was just no way for me to play different variations of their scenes and stay normal like the little motorcycle bit if you skip the show and they pick you up at dinner was so cute but also the way they make eye contact with you the whole time at their gig…. “tell me why you’re leaving and why it is that we’re kissing on borrowed time” yeah i’m mentally ill. and when they kiss your forehead and your closed eyelids and was like “stop being cute all the time” and the scene in their apartment…. yeah shay’s fucking insane but also very hot but also the biggest sweetheart. i will never be normal after all that

this is so rambly now but i really genuinely enjoyed the demo. i keep saying it but the characters are all lovable even mc’s chaotic and prying relatives which make merry crisis all the more relatable and realistic. i hold this if so close to my heart thank you for writing it 🩷

AHHH!!!! Nikka you have no idea how excited I was to see this in my inbox, and the smile on my face just kept growing and growing as I read this message. It's been a while! I hope 2023 has been kind to you!

I loved writing that update, and I hold Merry Crisis very dear to my heart as well—so it always just hits me in the feels when people like it too/relate to it, ya know!

The Qiu flashback was 1000% inspired by the drabble I wrote for you last year, and I'm so glad I got to use it and expand on it in the game!! I am soooo happy that you liked the scenes, especially because I consider you a Qiu-authority at this point! And on Qiu doing literally everything except commit to a relationship.... yes. Exactly. I think this is what MC also cannot. believe.

Ahh omg. Heh. The Nat spicy scene at the beach was definitely... quite something to write. I wanted the call to really hit hard, but also offer some opportunity for redemption/hope (I wonder if you managed to get the scenes where MC does get a 'maybe' from Nat!)

Yeah, this last update was definitely one for the Shay fans—I packed in as much as I could in there, and writing the music/performance scene was fun, but so were the... bedroom / pillow talk scenes... especially for same-sex Shay!

Anyway, this message made me so so happy, so thank you so much for sending it. (It also makes me happy to know that the side characters / MC's family are also welcome and not simply an annoyance.)

Sending you a million hugs and all of my love!!

#merry crisis #asks #IF #interactive fiction #best ask ever #:')#you're the best #shay #qiu #nat

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mackio-o · 2 years

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songs that I associate the aot characters with

This is the first thing I’ve properly wrote on here. Hoping this goes well 🤞🏼 anyway It’s literally 3am rn so here are some songs that I associate with the aot characters. I tried to keep this as gender neutral as I possibly could. Lemme know if you guys like it and feel free to send me any headcanon ideas since I have alot. Enjoy?<3

Warnings: some mentions NSFW and obvious spoilers

Characters included: Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Reiner, Levi, Hanji, Erwin

Eren:

Brazil by Declan McKenna

every time I listen to this song I just remember Eren. Especially a modern au version of him or junior high eren. I see the more playful and adorable side of eren and feel it in this song. I literally cannot unsee it

I can’t handle change by Roar

Maybe it’s the aries in him I don’t know but I just see him being in an angsty little mood and listening to this song. Eren relates to this song on an EMBARRASSING level. I feel like maybe he tried to deny it at first “no wtf I’m not that dramatic” as if he didn’t commit genocide to protect his friends but eventually I think he could even cry to this song at 3am. Aries pride tbh.

White Ferrari by Frank Ocean

Eren fucking cries to Frank ocean. Eren feels himself when he’s listening to Frank Ocean. If Frank Ocean asked Eren for a BJ eren would kneel down and put his whole erenussy into worshipping and pleasing his lord and savior Frank Ocean. I imagine being in the car alone with Eren in the middle of the night and White Ferrari comes on and you two sit in absolute silence enjoying the music (especially the outro). Heaven on Earth. Stolen glances between red lights and stop signs. Summer night, breeze gliding softly through your hair from the rolled down windows.

In My Room by Frank ocean

Eren smokes to this song. Eren does thirsts to this song. Eren fucks to this song. He’d fuck hard to this song. And if he couldn’t he’d a rub one to this song. Safe to say it’s on his sex playlist. Trust me. He told me to play it before we fucked in his room.

Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

I’m just gonna leave this here and not elaborate 😭😭😭😭😭😭 NO EREN SLANDER HERE HE CAN LISTEN TO WHATEVER HE LIKES HOMEBOY ATE HIS DADDY OK.

Halley’s Comet by Billie Eilish

This one is completely personal and mainly about season 4 Eren it was after he sacrificed himself and I had woken up in the morning and when this song came on I started crying when I thought of him. Especially the part, “what a drag to love you like I do” and ever since then I could never get Eren unassociated with this song. Moreover I’m convinced he loves this song he’s a Billie boy deep down, it may not seem like it but he’d definitely listen to her music when he’s particularly down. Favorites of his; ‘I love you’, ‘listen before I go’, ‘therefore I am’ , ‘male fantasy’.

little person by Matt Maltease

He’d play this in the car and tap the steering wheel while humming softly. This is one of those chill sad songs Eren would drift toward during times where his energy is just drained and he just can’t act happy and energetic anymore. If he listens to this song with you, he really loves you and is comfortable with you. Eren is the type of guy who would only play songs that mean a lot to him around people he truly cares about and this is one of them. Eren is such a sweetheart and is genuinely such a good friend. He has literally killed for kids friends and would do it again if it meant he could keep the people he loves safe and happy.

Armin:

These foolish things by Nat King Cole

Armin is a jazz boy through and through. Nat King Cole litters this man’s playlist. This song just reminds me of him so much, everytime it plays it’s literally just Armin ringing in my head. Just being in his little blue mini cooper that’s his car fight me idc sipping ice teas driving around, or coming home from the beach and this song is playing on the car speakers; ranting about the most random things, from space to mythology. Anyway yeah jazz boy Armin all the way.

Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

My good looking boy. He blames himself for absolutely everything and is constantly trying to figure everything out. “The skyline falls as I try to make sense of it all, I thought I’d uncovered your secrets but turns out there’s more”. He’s just a little sweetheart that deserves the biggest cuddle and kiss on the forehead. Precious ocean boy.

Pretty boy by The Neighbourhood

soft soft soft soft. Warm milk and honey. The smell of fresh linen sheets. The color blue. Armin. I have literally never heard a song that radiated armin energy more than this song. SOMEONE MAKE AN EDIT ALREADY. Armin would listen to this and would cry if anyone ever told him the song reminded them of him tears of joy tears of joy. But yeah this song is on his playlist. I see him painting or studying or even reading with this song in the background. Gift him this song and he’ll cherish you (and the song) forever.

Regent’s Park by Bruno Major

I’m convinced he’s the one who wrote this song, conspiracy theory🤔🤔. I genuinely believe Armin would resonate so deeply with this song especially the part; “No one wants to hear a song about the bitch that broke my heart”, get off my back he’d say this. Armin is an absolute sweetheart but fuck with him and you’ll lose him forever Scorpio pride. Also the instrumental, Mr ocean eyes would sway his hips to this shit no doubt abt it. He’d hum it. He’d whistle it. He’d tap the chorus on the steering wheel. He is an R&B king. Favorite genre of music for sure.

Astronomy by Conan Gray

I ASSOCIATE HIM WITH ASTRONOMY. i just KNOW he loves stars and stargazing. He’d have a list of his favorite constellations and if you ever asked him to talk about Astronomy or anything related HE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. New friendship achievement unlocked type shit.

Out like a light by The Honeysticks

Something about this song just reminds me of Armin and I stand by it. It’s such a good song and definitely an underrated Ricky Montgomery track tbh. Armin would love it too. I see this being one of the sadder songs on his playlist.I think Armin struggles with feeling used a lot or neglected, and this song helps him feel that. It’s validating and comforting to feel like there’s someone out there who feels the same way he does. Especially in the form of something as beautiful as this song.

Watercolor Eyes by Lana Del Rey

He’d cry the first time he hears the song, and after that experience, he forms an emotional attachment to the song and listens to it during quiet, chill moments similar to the scenario earlier where he’d play it in the car during golden hour coming back from the beach. Windows rolled down and a cool evening breeze gently seeping into the car which just makes everything feel so surreal. When you want an ethereal out of body experience Armin’s ur guy.

Good days by SZA

Might be a bit cliché but it’s just so golden and perfect for my golden boy. He’s just a comforting person his energy is so pure so I immediately think of him especially during the outro ( *instrumental* “always on my mind always on my mind mind”).

Also literally anything by Cody Fry, Armin would love.

Mikasa:

Ok honestly absolutely anything by mitski will remind me of Mika on some level. My emo girl is a mitski stan and you couldn’t change my mind abt it. Mitski all over her playlists. You ask her who her favorite artist is u bet it’s miss mitski. But more specifically;

Two slow dancers by Mitski

I CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS I JUST FEEL IT IN MY CORE. Mika may not be the most emotionally expressive person (istj) but she will sob to this song. Give my bbg a tissue, here honey lemme lend u my sleeve. Also if u ship eremika then this just supports it. “We’re just two slow dancers last ones out” ur fucking kidding.

Pink in the night by Mitski

I’m honestly not even going to explain this, just look “I hear my heart breaking tonight, Do you hear it too?” - “I could stare at your back all day, And I know I've kissed you before, but I didn't do it right, Can I try again, try again, try again” enough said.

Sad girl by Lana Del Rey

She’s a Lana stan for sure. The questionable taste in men 🤨 this song just gives mika vibes but honestly the album in general, if she were an album she’d be ultraviolence. Honestly icon. Pretty girls who have incredible taste in fashion yet lack therefore when it comes to men.

I want you by Mitski

Im sorry for including YET another mitski song but this IS Mika, and Mika baby I feel you sweet girl. The ultimate sad girl anthem honestly Eren I’m looking at u. Living in her Tim burton era and this song is her soundtrack.

Mirror Ball by Taylor swift

THIS IS HER. “I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”. She would sacrifice her entire soul to show the person she loves what she sees. To show them how loved they are to protect them to keep them happy. She would lose herself in loving someone else Eren. She’d destroy herself in the process of protecting the one she loves.

Connie:

Rhinestone eyes by Gorillaz

absolutely any song by the Gorillaz would give me Connie vibes. Driving with Connie in the middle of the night belting out the lyrics to whatever Gorillaz song just came on.

Maniac by Conan Gray

Connie would scream the lyrics to this song and would turn to you “IF ANYONE DECIDES TO FUCK WITH YOU ILL SHOW UP AT THEIR HOUSE WITH A SHOVEL AND A ROSE” thank you Connie. Connie = 4lyfer.

Verbatim by Mother Mother

He’s a mother mother bitch. Yup yup. He’d rock his little bald head so enthusiastically the minute this song comes on. DOESNT EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS EITHER. “NANANANAN VERBATIM NANA LISTLESS VEGETATION” “..Connie it’s invitations” he looks up so innocently, confused “what?” “nothing nothing” “ok”. You wouldn’t have the heart to ruin the moment for him. He Carries on singing all the wrong lyrics. Smile and nod just smile and nod.

Remember When by Wallows

Wallows’ music always cheers me up and their music just has the same effect as Connie, and I see him absolutely adoring this song and it’s just such an adorable fact to me.

C U girl by Steve Lacy

HED BELT IT. He’d sing this song to his girlfriend or girl best friend, as I said before Connie = 4lyfer. GOOD VIBES.

Sasha :

Dancing with your ghost by Sasha Sloan

I listen to this when I miss her. Maybe it’s cause the artists name is Sasha aswell and that made me think of her. But yeah. Sasha.

Just a waste by pinkpantheress

Dancing to this song with Sasha and it being your song with her. As soon as this song plays you’d whip ur head in each other’s direction and bolt to each other and twist ur hip at the opening beat drop “OW” just start dancing ur heart out together.

Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Honorable mention; Someone once told me this song always reminded them of Nicolo and Sasha. And I never forgot that

Comfort crowd by Conan Gray

I SEE HER FACE EVERY TIME THIS SONG PLAYS. She’s so sweet and pure and PRECIOUS. I just want to hug her and dance to this song while putting ice cream into bowls getting ready to watch princess diaries together or a cheesy rom com to cry over while holding blankets in the dark.

Every Summertime by NIKI

enfp enfp enfp anthem. JUNIOR HIGH SASHA imagine doing that thing where u grab hands and twirl together really fast; Imagine doing that with this song. Yep. Sasha would play this song as much as she can and she’d get back into it EVERY summer(time) . All in all Sasha has the cutest most positive taste in music and everytime I hear a wholesome lively song chances are it reminded me of Sasha.

So Anxious by Ginuwine

Another song Sasha would love and it just gives me such good vibes that match Sasha’s if that makes sense?? Like it’s the same energy between the two of them. The same fun giddy feeling.

(She’d also love the entire album ‘SOUR’ by Olivia)

Jean:

Loverboy by A- Wall

HE IS THE PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF THIS SONG. Imagine him and his beautiful deep voice singing this song, he has a gorgeous singing voice I know it. This song just radiates his energy somehow and it’s just so wholesome and adorable.

Deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo

He will deny how much he loves this song he will deny it with his whole heart. But as soon as this song comes on in the car on shuffle. Give him a couple seconds he’ll be straining his vocal cords, belting the chorus alongside Eren who also denied how much he loved this song. “It’s cliché I would never listen to something so mainstream 🙄” not even a minute later, “SO WHEN YOU GONNA TELL HER THAT WE DID THAT TOO”. Gets so emotionally invested during this part: “PLAY HER PIANO BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT YOU BILLIE JOEL” aggressively pokes his chest to the point it’s red and he’s rubbing it after the song ends. who u singing abt jean🤔🤔🤔

Or Nah by SoMo

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SORRY JEAN IM SORRY. This is an absolute callout. Jean would listen to this song and just sit and mull over sex fantasies and get horny in the process LMAO Jean would most likely only play this song during sex if he’s REALLY COMFORTABLE with his partner but it’s definitely on his bucket list, to fuck to this song. He listens to SoMo’s version cause it’s the superior one.

Checkmate by Conan Gray

He’d adore this song and it’s so fucking cute watching him slightly dance when it comes on. He’s a Conan boy I think, not a die hard fan but he listens every song that he releases and has a couple of his favorites in his playlist.

Lookalike by Conan Gray

This is his go to break up song, he relates to this song SO MUCH. He’d be the type of guy who would try and find someone to fill his partner’s place if they ever broke up but he’d never go through with anything more than a one night stand or rebound, cause he just wouldn’t be able to they don’t compare. He’d cry every night to this song for months after the breakup.

Dark Red by Steve Lacy

He thinks listening to Steve Lacy makes him a superior person with superior taste in music. He thinks dark red is so deep pretentious fuck. It’s definitely one of his favorite songs. Honestly jokes aside it does fit his vibe and he’s not too in your face abt it especially if u aren’t close with him. He won’t act all arrogant and cocky if he isn’t close with the person he’s with. He really does mean it halfheartedly and as a joke (kind of). oh he’d also rly like N side by Steve lacy so do with that what you will

Reiner:

I bet on losing dogs by Mitski

😐. *sobs uncontrollably* TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA. Poor man just needs a big old bear hug. SOMEONE LET HIM REST. I just want to comfort him and this song just perfectly translates that??? (“ my baby my baby you’re my baby”). If anyone said that to him he’d burst into ugly ass tears and start wailing. Furthermore, he’d be the type to bet on a losing dog just so nobody has to feel alone, he tries to be there for people in ways nobody was, for him. Example of this is when he helped Armin during training, when Armin fell behind cause back when he was training nobody helped him when he fell behind, and he doesn’t want anybody to feel the way he did. Not if he can do anything about it. Brb gotta give Reiner a hug 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Cant pretend by Tom Odell

Uf. Fucking heartbreak. Pure heartbreak. Just go listen to the song and you’ll understand what I mean. Gotta go give my man another hug 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Until I found you by Stephen Sanchez

He’d ADORE this song. Listens to it non stop. He wants to play this for the person of his dreams and just dance to it with them. Big softie. He’d sing this song with his whole chest just completely in love with it and entranced.

Levi:

ok I have a lot to say *cracks knuckles*

Evermore by Dan Stevens

This song is literally Levi. It’s him singing. He told me. It’s how Levi experiences love this is how he feels when he’s in love scorpio moon asf. If anything were to happen if he lost the love of his life it would destroy him. He’d see them everywhere. He’d look for them in every crowd. They’d live in his head and haunt him for evermore. He could never get over a great love. He doesn’t fall in love easy because when he does, he never falls out of it no matter what. “Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she runs away, she will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me, come what may” “Wasting in my lonely tower, Waiting by an open door, I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in, And as the long, long nights begin, I'll think of all that might have been, Waiting here for evermore”

August by Taylor Swift

He’d cherish all the memories he’s shared with the person he loves. He’d cherish all the time spent together. Levi lives in his head, he’s constantly thinking. So he’s the type of person who would find himself cursing the time for passing but eventually he’d except the fact that he can only cherish the memories and joy he felt in those moments, because time is never guaranteed. “It wasn’t mine to lose” “you weren’t mine to lose”. Furthermore, he would drop EVERYTHING for the person he loved “cancel all my plans just in case you called and said meet me behind the mall”.

505 by Arctic Monkeys

I have denied this for so long until eventually I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. This is his favorite song. It is. He could listen to 505 anytime of the day and not be bored. He absolutely loves this song. The build up and beat drop, the chorus absolutely everything about this song he loves

Lvr boy by awfultune

This is completely personal. But all in all if you ever sang this song to Levi he’d just immediately fall in love. He’d tear up but bury it with a sniffle. Ugh my love.

Compass by The Neighbourhood

“I’m lucky you’ve been keeping me around. You’re the star I look for every night, when it’s dark you stick right by my side” he wouldn’t ever believe that anybody could truly love him. That anybody would look at him with nothing other than love. And when he finds it, he will do everything in his power to satisfy his partner and give them what they deserve and love them right.

Folklore by Taylor Swift

I’m well aware this isn’t a song. But the entire album just screams Levi to me. He’d LOVE this album. I’m gonna tell you a secret. Levi Ackerman is a swiftie BUT HE WILL TAKE THAT INFORMATION WITH HIM TO THE GRAVE. he fucking loves her music but mostly it’s this album he’d cry to illicit affairs cause he knows he could very easily be caught in a situation like that. I’ll talk more in depth abt illicit affairs in a bit.

1 step forward 3 steps back

Mainly he just really likes the build of the song and the instrumental, piano whore. But he wouldn’t listen to the song often because this song absolutely terrifies him. Because he’s fucking terrified that if he was ever in a relationship his partner would see him this way because he would do anything to please his partner. He’d go above and beyond to make sure they’re happy, safe and that they feel loved. He cares about how the people he loves perceive him, so it worries him that the people he loves think he’d be like this in a relationship.

Nervous by The Neighbourhood

Making out with Levi to this song plays in my head like a tape every single time this song comes on. Sitting in his lap, hands in your hair, they slowly drift down to your hips and grip tighter when you bite his lower lip. I need to go drink some water 🤧

Nothing by Bruno Major

Levi is the type of man who would want his partner all to himself and want to spend pure uninterrupted quality time with them. “There’s nothing like doing nothing with you”. Watch a stupid rom com while holding them in his arms. Turn off their phones and toss them somewhere secluded in the house while he pulls them on top of him on the couch to forget about the movie and just make out until the credits roll. He’d prefer to stay in instead of go out. He’d rather see his partner in their loungewear it’s easier to take off (he’d also really love easily by Bruno Major aswell)

All mine by PLAZA

Levi would fuck to this song. He would fuck and fuck HARD to this song. If he had a sex playlist this song would be on it. He may not show it but Levi is possessive, he’s jealous (not in an obsessive or toxic way) but he just relishes in the fact that his partner WANTS to be his. He’s just so fucking proud to have his partner as HIS and his alone. And he wants to make this crystal clear to his partner. He wants his partner to know that he never wants to touch another person ever again that he never wants anyone to even think about touching what’s his. He wants to show them that they’re all his. And his alone. (Fucking fuck me already)

Apocalypse by Cigarettes after sex

Levi’s love is endgame. I’ve said this before but when Levi loves, it’s truly truly committed and loyal. Once he falls in love he’ll never fall out of it. The person he’s with is the person he’ll love forever. “Your lips my lips, Apocalypse” his love is all consuming, it consumes him. If anything were to happen to the love of his life. He’d never recover from it it’d be over for him after that. He’ll never love another person the same way ever again. His love is truly till death do us part. He would watch the world burn if it meant the love of his life was safe. His partner is his top priority. And always will be.

Illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

Levi hates the fact that he could easily be put in this situation, which is partially why he is terrified to be in a relationship. Because for the millionth time he would destroy himself entirely for his partner; “And you know damn well, For you I would ruin myself, A million little times” ur gonna tell me this isn’t something Levi would say to the love of his life in the dark while he holds their face between his hands, as his gun metal eyes brush over their features maybe even glaze over in a sheen of tears that the darkness would hide. Another thing is, as I said if his partner were to ever leave him, he’d be completely fucked cause; “You showed me colors, You know I can't see with anyone else” and “You taught me a secret language, I can't speak with anyone else”. He’d deny his feelings for someone at first. He’d deny deny deny. He doesn’t want to be completely overtaken by love he hates it because he knows that he’d be wrapped around his partner’s finger, completely. He’d be at his partner’s mercy, completely. He’d be completely vulnerable and bare infront of them and he’s terrified he’ll just get hurt again, this time in an even crueler way; “Don’t call me “baby” Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me” and “Don't call me "baby", Look at this idiotic fool that you made me”. He hates the effect his person has on him and he hates even more that he absolutely loves it and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. Because for the first time, he feels there’s something to wake up for, there’s something that lights up his life. He’s so in love hurt him and I’ll cut you

Tchaikovsky (but more specifically Swan Lake Soundtrack)

Lastly Levi would LOVE Tchaikovsky and his works. Levi is a man with taste and he loves how he can feel the emotion in Tchaikovsky’s music without him having to speak a word. Tell me right now he wouldn’t absolutely adore swan lake. Idc how biased this may be I believe with my entire soul that Levi absolutely adores swan lake. The story. The aesthetic. But most importantly THE MUSIC.

Hanji:

I don’t have many for Hanji but the ones I do have are songs I genuinely can’t hear without thinking of her

Heat Waves by Glass Animals

I honestly can’t fully explain why I associate her with this song, but I do. It’s just so perfect? I just can’t unsee it.

To the wonder by Aqualung

I could never listen to this song without seeing hanji and crying. There’s an edit I saw of her to this song too. And it explains what I feel perfectly. I just can’t help but sob to this song honestly it breaks my heart every time I listen to it, and for me to associate the song with this edit just makes it worse.

This is the edit (contains manga spoilers) :

God, it kills me every time. sry :)

Erwin :

First and foremost let’s get this out of the way. Erwin, is a Beyoncé stan YES YES HE IS SHUT UP. dare I say it, he may even be a barb. I said what I fucking said. Erwin is a man of taste and he loves queen B. As he fucking should. King.

What about us by P!nk

I really really really don’t have to explain this but I will 😪 let’s look at the lyrics shall we; “what about us?” - “What about all the times you said you had the answers?” - “What about all the broken happy ever afters?” - “What about all the plans that ended in disaster?” - “What about love? What about trust? What about us?” This is literally all that Erwin has been fighting for. He heard his fallen comrades voices in his head. He wants to know the truth, Erwin believes he is the reason his father died, he longs to avenge his father and prove that what he was saying about the walls was the truth; “But man, you fooled us, enough is enough”. I have another point aswell: “Sticks and stones, they may break these bones, But then I'll be ready” HE LITERALLY LOST HIS ARM IT WAS CHOMPED OFF BY A TITAN and Erwin Smith LITERALLY went on to lead his soldier while STILL in the jaws of a titan. He saved Eren and sliced him out of Berthold’s arms with one arm. He stared the armored titan in the eye as he never wavered and stood tall and proud next to him, just glaring into his eyes with no fear.

I really hope you enjoyed this. It were really fun to write and again this is the first time for me ACTUALLY writing something on here so show some love if you liked it don’t be afraid to tell me I’d really appreciate the feedback and support <33

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thesungod · 11 months

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Do you have any Hera meta you would like to expand on , maybe in relation to what a relationship with Apollo would look like

anon… do u share my brand of insanity or are u just indulging me.

as far as Hera meta goes, my main point is that she’s not a villain in the true sense of the word: i think she’s tolerant of humans and the consideration she generally has for demigods is the consideration she’d have for ants. and honestly, she’s truly one of the few gods who’s entitled to feel that way, considering that she’s not responsible for siring them and would rather the others didn’t. obviously she has exceptions (demigods/humans she really likes and demigods/humans she really hates) and she’s wrong for taking revenge on Zeus’ mistresses but overall she’s just not that bad. ya feel me?

she’s also shown to feel genuine love for Jason which brings the count of people who have actually felt genuine love for Jason in canon up to three lmao (Piper-Leo-Hera). Nico exists in a grey area and you got to have some respect for that.

so anyways, she was actually pretty smart to swap Percy and Jason and she managed to keep it under the rug for longer than what would be expected. obviously it was wrong of her to use them as puppets for her strings but she’s not nearly alone in that. Apollo confirms in ToA that it is simply the way gods treat demigods. In my view, she sucks but she doesn’t Especially Sucks.

i also have endless sympathy for Hera having to tolerate her husband’s infidelity and (so clearly implied they might as well say it) abuse. she’s just. an unhappy woman, dare i say the unhappiest olympian god, and i think she has been so for so long that she has forgotten what anything else feels like. does she have friends? she certainly doesn’t have lovers, and while that may have initially been a commitment of love, it must have gotten pretty lonely over the years. she’s portrayed as icy and dignified and distant, the godliest of the gods, the one who most clearly represents the divide between mortals and immortals, and i ask myself how much of that is her real personality, and how much is the result of bitterness and isolation.

imagine: Hera regretting the fact that she’s made so many enemies once, when she felt untouchable and at her peak, because she’s just alone now, but what’s done is done so what can she do?

Hera never quite fitting in with other deities and really, who can blame them.

Hera having spent such a long time not even considering the idea of romantic love for herself and being so stunted that when she starts falling for Apollo, she doesn’t even notice. she simply cannot believe it. doesn’t even dare to think it.

she feels that feeling. the one where you a crush on someone after a really long time and you are all giddy and excited, not because you think it may be reciprocated, but because it’s new and thrilling to desire someone. she’s a high school girl wanting to be asked to prom.

now, let’s suppose it all happens because her and Apollo start sleeping together to spite Zeus as per my headcanon, and she inexplicably begins to want him for more than just revenge: she would would be so angry because she cares more, she’s far more into it, she’s utterly taken by him. at the end of the day, what they do is nothing particularly new for him (except for the “if he catches us i’m dead” part ig lmao) but it’s all brand new never heard before for her!! and her pride would be hurt!! but what are you gonna do about it!!

and now let’s suppose that at one point he starts caring back, and he treats her well and she hasn’t been treated well in centuries. so she gets carefree, and she gets reckless and she catches herself fixing her hair before the Olympian Council so that he sees her at her best!! imagine how humiliating that is for her!! she’s the Queen of Olympus she’s the Queen of the gods she’s the Ruler of the world and he’s literally just a guy!! she should hit him with her car!!

instead, she finds herself in his car, having been convinced to take a ride with the sun chariot for the first time ever while he’s babbling about… she doesn’t even know, talking horses trying to kill him? because that’s something that happened? apparently? and he has his stupid shades on and she feels like a high school girl actually getting asked to prom.

and for the unhappiest goddess of the Council, that’s a really magnificent feeling.

#herapollo tag #as always i apologize to normal people that will see this #ask #there is a gideon the ninth reference in this answer

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allaganexarch · 1 year

Text

incoherent wednesday rant

god just NO thread in wednesday goes ANYWHERE and it’s so frustrating!!!! like i know it was netflix’s latest lazy nonsense but my GOD lol

i was thinking this is one of those mediocre shows that would have been improved SO MUCH by having just a simple theme. The one I was thinking would work so well with so little effort was something like “what makes a monster?” — and it almost felt like the show WANTED to go there but got caught up in its weird unearned plot twists or something?

it’s easy, and would tie so many weird threads together—gently imply that Wednesday is a monster for what she does in the beginning, even tho she’s just doing it to stick up for her brother, and then tie that into how she more and more gets caught up in her own version of events and certainty that she’s right, and actually let there be real consequences for her being wrong??? people get mad at her for using them to achieve her ends but then they stay mad for like???? a scene at most even tho wednesday doesn’t apologize or show any remorse, and it makes everything feel so unearned.

with the what makes a monster theme, the students of nevermore would be very understanding of wednesday at first bc they know what it is to be different/outcast, and gradually lose faith in wednesday as she uses them, until ultimately they recoil when she plans to torture what’s his face. that would give that moment actual MEANING—up until that point, wednesday’s friends were like, we get it, she shows she cares in her own way, we do too, but no, this is a step too far, this is a monstrous act in our eyes.

Flip side of the coin with uhhhh plant lady? thornhill! the twist would be more satisfying if literally anyone cared about or trusted her or had any sort of opinion whatsoever—this could work in SO many ways; she seems genuinely kind but everyone mistrusts her, she seems genuinely kind and everyone trusts her except for wednesday, even wednesday comes to trust her, she seems overall nice but there’s just something kinda Off about her, possibilities virtually endless. as it is the twist feels UNEARNED like everything else.

UGGGHHHHHHH AND WEEMS they almost went there with weems—she’s harsh, she’s calculating, she’s done some monstrous things, but ultimately she’s on the side of protecting the school and its students, a reveal we don’t even get to bask in for ONE GOT DAMN SECOND!!!!!!!!! i’m so pissed her character was so underutilized lol as per usual writers accidentally made a character too cool for them and didn’t know what to do

god i cannot remember a single character’s NAME ENID okay, enid was done such a god DAMN disservice, she’s a fascinating character, she has great fodder for a personal story arc, there’s an easy tie-in to “what makes a monster” re: her getting her wolfy powers at exactly the right second (which btw, stupid—needed her to struggle more w feeling inadequate, going her own way, or preferably getting her wolfy powers at a very inconvenient time)

you know i do feel as usual a lot of this was ruined by heterosexuality lol, like they didn’t really do all that much w the love triangle and xavier feels extremely pointless, i don’t mind the twist with tyler except that i think it’s stupid he went all full serial killer at the end, i think i’d have preferred “unprocessed grief as an uncontrollable monster” metaphor but you know that’s just me. and actually i think the show could have benefitted from playing with hinting that enid or even wednesday might actually be the monster.

also lol @ the worlds dumbest filler episode let me fix it for you—weems was in love w morticia and deeply resented gomez, weems witnessed morticia stab whatshisface and wanted to frame gomez for it, not realizing that gomez was perfectly happy to take the fall for morticia himself. also this isn’t super related but i think it would have been neat if the reason weems and morticia fell out is bc weems once used her shapeshifting powers for nefarious reasons (nothing too bad, just trying to gently sabotage her relationship w gomez) and morticia caught her and was very hurt and betrayed. what i’m trying to say is that episode bored me to death and justice for weems 2kforever.

okay this has been insane but my computer is in the shop so i’m unsupervised thanks for your time.

#personal #wednesday THE SHOW i should clarify lol

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thebreakfastgenie · 2 years

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Unfortunately with the format of these asks I cannot link any sources, although I feel like you want me to find a Mike Farrell quote saying "queer people thought my outfits looked gay" which ofc doesnt exist. You said yourself though, he received a lot of letters from gay fans who recognised something in BJ and has spoken a lot about that. Also like I said, a lot of the 'evidence' is anecdotal which I doubt you will accept - which is fair enough. I'm not sure what you mean by the point about the 1950s mostly because generally MASH stuck with 70s/80s styling, and we are discussing how his image was received at the time it aired. For clarification though, my main issue was the implication I saw in your tags that his clothes were only from the red party and that he just kept them around for ease, which you explained as not how you think of it so that's good. I think the way BJ dresses was extremely purposeful, all about small acts of rebellion, and I think it is absolutely key to understanding his character and the development of his character over the course of the series, so the idea that he didnt actively make a choice to do that (either within or outside of the conceit of the show) felt very wrong. I too dislike the 'gay little fits' thing, even though I understand that most people ARE hyperbolically joking and I personally believe he could be (and was) read as queer to people at the time regardless. Anyway, thanks for answering. Have a nice day!

I wasn’t asking for a source as a gotcha, I was genuinely interested in anything you might have had. I’m interested in interviews in general and with this topic in particular, I’ve seen secondhand and thirdhand references to people back in the 70s and 80s picking up queer vibes from Hawkeye, but I’ve never actually found a direct source for that, either, and one of my hobbies is tracking down the sources on this stuff. I would take a member of the cast saying “I’ve had these interactions” or an older fan saying “this is how I reacted back then,” but not someone who wasn’t watching back then saying “well I’ve heard…” if that makes sense.

The only time I’ve actually seen Mike talk about gay people specifically in relation to MASH was in the mashcast interview, when he said he’d heard from gay men after GFA about how much it meant to them to see straight men be openly affectionate with each other. If you have anything else on this topic, I’m genuinely interested in it! Tumblr does allow anonymous submissions last I checked so if you do have something you can probably share it.

I’m on mobile, so I’ll edit this later to link the posts, but I’ve made posts both about BJ’s outfits being intentional and how significant that is to his character development. I think Hawkeye’s outfits are genuinely apathetic for the most part (although wearing a robe over an entire set of fatigues is something you have to do for a reason imo) while BJ’s are much more intentionally crafted as an anti-authority statement. I was just kinda joking around because BJ’s red party clothes literally do remind me of my dad still wearing the clothes he painted the house in twenty years ago. I was also kinda going with the headcanon that BJ dyed the pink Henley at the same time and just didn’t use it. The suspenders he obviously picked up later. BJ dressing like a suburban dad is in my kind very compatible with his wardrobe choices being an anti-authoritarian statement. BJ sees himself as a temporarily misassigned civilian. He makes it very clear that he thinks he should be at home raising his daughter, not in the army. “I’m a father, not a soldier,” is an anti-authority statement. It’s not the only statement he makes but I think it’s one of them.

Have a nice day!

#mashposting

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randombubblegum · 2 years

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i have so much to say about parx and fuck about it and i’m sorry but i’m unloading it on to you. so unfortunately:( i do like it. and even bigger unfortunately i think i’m really gonna like parx5. not in like a twitter stan awsten can do no wrong way but in a way that some of these lyrics are hitting for me the way they used to. i know a lot of them are like REALLY BAD but some of them are really tapping into the “unhealthy relationship all about sex” part of my life that has me Feeling It. and because of that fuck about it literally made me unhinged. because it’s SO different from how awsten used to write. and 90% of me knows it’s because he’s trying to reach this tik tok kind of clout where you have one Zinger of a line that goes viral and yadda yadda yadda. it’s the same thing he did for GH. he’s trying so hard to be down with the kids. but that other 10% of me really thinks this kind of writing (mainly in FAB and brainwashed) but this like overly sexual kind of writing really just shows how different he sees these girls than he did ciara. like DD and Ent had so many metaphors for sex that were coded in love that you wouldn’t catch it if you didn’t know. (also where i think the “awsten is a virgin” joke started) but it was because he loved her so much and so differently that sex wasn’t all there was. but with dog girl and song girl that’s really all they have. and the lyrics are a lot more explicit “i am having sex” because he doesn’t care about them beyond that. i mean “give me 3 days, 3 days alone” is a loooong way from “who needs space from across the country” and anyway i like to shit on the new music as much as the next person and i think his song writing has really gone downhill but every now and then there are still parts of that good shit in there, it’s just different because HE is different.

i am so sorry for this long as message but no one will discuss parx with me so alas, here i am. 😔💚

ok i gotta admit i was bristling by the middle of this ask but i think you make some good points actually LOL. points that make awsten look like a fucking douchebag asshole, but points none the less.

ent and dd DID have coded lyrics for sex in then!!! a lot of little lyrical nods up until fandom actually, and i think thats very natural for awsten to write. like That is how he chooses to write about sex, when he does at all. and in the relationships and feelings he was in at the time (ciara, but also the gr*ce breakup… and you know who was involved with that one…?) there WAS more than sex to make them emotionally impactful for him!!!! theres songs about the longing and chasing and aching and hurting and gutting and joy and anger about ciara over THREE albums!!!!!!!!

in contrast we know for a fact he never gave even half a shit about dog girl emotionally. its clear not only in his lyrics but in how he acted to her and what she said about him. truly i cannot imagine he feels anything deeper for song girl besides “shes hot, i bagged her like im supposed to, this is what men do, im performing heterosexuality correctly” and a dash of intense codependence on her end lol

BUT, and this is a huge but, this is giving him a LOT of credit that hes not just shitting ~toxic edgy~ lyrics out for tiktok, bc thats what tiktok likes. these lyrics and ways of writing are SO hateful to the actual girls hes talking about and SO unlike his literal entire personality up until now that its baffling. it doesnt feel like hes genuinely writing from his own experiences.

i can understand and sympathize with you liking these lyrics bc theyre personally relatable to you at this chaotic self destructive time in your life but that truly does not make them good or deep no matter how much benefit we give him by trying to assign them deeper meaning

#mail time!#neg #long post

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burningthetree · 1 year

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I LOVE ASK GAMES! please talk to me about your year in writing! okay for ao3 wrapped! Would you pretty please answer numbers 3, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and/or 29 😇

I realize I am being unreasonable but I cannot help it :) please feel free to skip any or all

YES CAT OMG THANK YOU <3 i love talking about my writing let’s go!

(if you know me irl don’t you dare read under the cut)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Either of my longer fics. I always had trouble writing longer stories (which is fine! Shorter stories are just as great, but I always wanted to write something longer and never seemed to be able to) so I’m just proud that I somehow managed to tell a story that is unreasonably and unnecessarily long. I specifically have forget me not in mind, but also safe and warm because I feel like my initial plan for that one is just as big a lie as my plan was for fmn and it’s going to be over 100k again I fear. But that’s something I’m proud of! Starting out with a small idea and then realising it’s going to evolve into something bigger than I’d anticipated, and then still sticking with it to see it through to the end, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes.

6. Favorite title you used

safe and warm! I struggled with what to pick for the title at first, but then felt relatively content with it. And I don’t want to base my satisfaction on outside validation but the people that did comment on the title pointed out the exact things I had in mind for it and that gave me a boost in serotonin

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I’ve been struggling with literally everything this year LOL I don’t think anything was quick to write. Especially after writing forget me not last year within four months everything just feels painfully slow. Albeit not quick per se, safe and warm is the quickest in comparison to the rest I’ve had lying around for months lol

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

So many 😭 let me go count them. I think it's seven. Yikes. But I'm currently only actively writing two. And one of those two will be finished in December, so currently it's eight but 2023 it'll be seven 'only'.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

My gut feeling says Hurt/Comfort and Angst. Let me go check. Yeah, it's definitely Hurt/Comfort. All my fics except one have that tag. I just…vibe with it a lot. As does everyone I know.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Kuroo! I genuinely think he’s my absolute favourite in all of Haikyuu!! and I’m having such a good time writing him, though I was very surprised because I always thought it'd be Akaashi or Oikawa. But writing him gives me so much joy and I find it relatively easy (though whether or not my version of him is accurate in relation to the canon-version is debatable). I'm also having a lot of fun with Kiyoomi and Atsumu, they're both such little shits it's a delight to write them.

I'd be a fake if I didn't mention Hawks, though. I find him very easy to write as well, and I had a lot of fun! Some of the whumptober prompts (I haven't forgotten about the collection, I promise, I will finish it one day!) went by really fast because they were Hawks-centric, even though it was my first time writing him. But I don't know, I enjoyed it a lot.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Iwaizumi. I swear to god. I keep including him in my fic for the sake of IwaOi but sweet jesus he is driving me INSANE. I’ve never had this many issues with any character and I’m losing my goddamn mind because I don't know how to fix it. Also Edgeshot. I hate that man (I don't, but I do. I really do. I don't).

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

YakuLev! I’m not the biggest fan of Lev because I find him really annoying but I’ve had an idea for them for the longest time now and I’ve started writing it a bit but it’s nowhere near done, so I’m hoping I get to finish it next year at some point! Also I've had an idea for SunaOsa for a while now that I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to get around to yet. So hopefully 2023 will be when I'll get to it!

I've also started to get a little invested in Aizawa/Mic so I've been thinking about them a little as well, also Levi/Erwin for some godforsaken reason lol (kudos to that one person on TikTok making constant videos about them and dragging me down that hole). So maybe I'll explore them next year, who knows, but I don't know if I'm well-versed enough in these fandoms to write something I'd be happy with regarding quality, but we'll see.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably forget me not, purely because it’s the one long fic I’ve ever written. And I didn’t have any trouble writing it at all, with barely any writer’s block or creative block, which has been an ongoing issue with my current bokuaka that I just cannot seem to continue atm. So I'm looking at it for the character dynamics and set-ups of the scenes to get some inspiration and to revisit how I did it in the past in a way that works for me, and to see if I've changed anything without noticing that makes it work a lot less. Also just structure-wise it’s nice to revisit an older work that is relatively long to see what can be adopted into the new fic and what wouldn’t work.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

On my way to reread my writing to find something! Okay, as much as I always complain about writing Iwaizumi, some of the IwaOi bits I've written are my favourites. This is from Chapter 5 of safe and warm so spoilers if you haven't read it yet, but I had a lot of fun writing this star-crossed lovers bit, and it's a little long so my apologies, I just didn't know how much to include in this post and where to cut off. So it might seem a little odd out of context, but oh well.

Walking up the stairs to where Tooru had been hiding for a long time – they had both lost count of how long it had been – Hajime started to doubt everything about their plan, even though he had been the one to come up with it in the first place. Though he’d had the idea, that didn’t mean he had to like it, because he didn’t. If there was a different way, a way that would ensure Tooru’s safety and keep him close, Hajime would choose that, without hesitation and without a doubt. But there was no other option. There never had been. Not for them. Their love had been doomed from the start. And Hajime had walked into it head-first, fully aware of the pain he’d encounter on the way, and yet he hadn’t been able to stay away from Tooru. The same was true for the other man. “Hey,” Tooru greeted him in a serious tone that he rarely ever used. The grimness of the situation had finally settled in, and Hajime longed for the times when he used to get annoyed with Tooru’s usually playful and obnoxious tone. Hajime didn’t greet him back, didn’t find it in him to say anything, not with how tight his throat was feeling. He was sure that if he opened his mouth now, he would end up crying, and he wanted to avoid that at all cost. Because if he did, he knew that Tooru would object to ever leaving, and he couldn’t risk that, not if he was already risking everything he had by simply coming here. “Hajime,” said Tooru, approaching him carefully as if Hajime was a frightened deer that could be set off at any minute. He wasn’t scared for himself, he really wasn’t. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his life anyway, not when he remembered how many people were scared of him for following his father’s footsteps. Not when he remembered how scared Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou had appeared earlier as Washijou thought it necessary to injure their friend in such a pointless manner as well. “Hajime, look at me,” said Tooru and walked up to him, cupping his face with gentle hands. The warmth of Tooru’s palms against his skin was filled with love, and it helped him calm down a little bit, to stop his thoughts from spiralling out of control. Hajime did as he was told, and Tooru’s loving brown eyes were set on his, his eyebrows creased in worry even as his lips gave him a smile.

It was a rare sight, having Tooru express such genuine emotion without hiding it beneath a layer of pretentiousness which Hajime hated and that he could see through as if it was a clear window with the curtain withdrawn. Only when they were alone did Tooru allow him to see his real emotions, and even though Hajime could always tell when his boyfriend wasn’t being sincere, he appreciated his honesty and transparency whenever it was just the two of them. “I have to go soon,” said Hajime as he took Tooru’s hands in his. “They are going to the palace soon, to try and find Sakusa and Kuroo. Most of us will go there, so take these.” He handed Tooru the tickets, who took them hesitantly. “It is your best chance. The sun is setting soon, so escape in the dark. Go to the train station, take these, and leave.” “Hajime, I–” Tooru started, but Hajime interrupted him. “There is no time for objections, Shittykawa,” said Hajime, pressing the tickets into Tooru’s palm with such urgency, he almost tore the paper as he did so. “I wasn’t going to object,” said Tooru, faking disappointment and something that Hajime couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I was just going to say that I love you, but I guess you don’t want to hear that, so–” “Shut up,” said Hajime. “I want to hear that.” “What now?” said Tooru, and Hajime could feel the familiar annoyance rise in him at Tooru messing around with his emotions, fully aware that Hajime had a horrendous understanding of his emotions and a hard time dealing with them. “You want me to shut up or tell you that I–” “I am begging you,” said Hajime, “to quit teasing me so. I need you to tell me. Please.” “You’re annoying,” said Tooru. “You’re grumpy and you insult me all the time and you are the sweetest and best person I know. I love you, with all my heart, and after

There you go! This was the first passage that came to mind because this drama has such a chokehold on me, and I cannot wait to dive into it deeper. Thank you so much Cat, I absolutely loved rambling here <3

#asks #cat #thank you for making me talk about my writing #if you know me irl and you see this no you didnt #julie is rambling #julie is writing #<- been a while since I used that one

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deniigi · 3 years

Text

How to Critically Analyze a Piece of Media

By Deniigiq (Almost Ph.D)

So as a person who has spent the last 5+ years working in higher education in both research and staff capacities, I feel that it is my responsibility to provide y’all with some tools to help you critically analyze shit that you come across so that you don’t end up guilt tripping yourselves and others around you 24/7.

I am writing this because I see people constantly saying that people no longer know how to critically analyze something or don’t have critical thinking skills, but very few people actually have the time/energy/obligation to break down what that actually means and looks like for others.

The good news is that I apparently do have the time, energy, and honestly, the genuine concern to start to help people do that.

This is going to be a long-ass post.

I am not sorry.

It is not comprehensive.

I am not sorry for that either. This is just a tiny taste of some shit that you can and should really go ham with.

So anyways, here’s how to critically analyze a piece of media.

Critically analyze = asking questions of a text/media/object and thinking about answers to those questions.

THAT’S IT, PEOPLE.

THAT’S ALL. Don’t make it more complicated at this point in time.

Here are some basic questions that you want to ask yourself about a text/media/object (hereafter referred to as a Thing) before, after, and during your consumption of it:

When was this made?

The period in which a Thing is made is important because the world during that particular point in time influences the decisions that went into producing the Thing.

Why was this made?

This question has layers. You will find many answers to this question if you pose it to anything that exists ever. And it should have multiple reasons because humans give many different meanings to individual things. There are often very few absolutely right answers to this question.

Who made this thing?

The layered identities of the people who create a Thing are always present in it. The important part is that if a person creates a Thing, then that Thing will have both insights into that person’s perspectives/beliefs/values/identity AND the limitations of those perspectives/beliefs/values/identity.

What ideas does this Thing include and what ideas does this Thing leave out?

This is a really basic question that you probably don’t think of to ask yourself often, but when you are presented with a Thing, you have to first identity what is literally there right in front of you (example: this is a movie about a superhero. The superhero is a tall, beefy white man. The tall beefy white man has 2 sidekicks. And so on and so on.)

THEN, once you’ve done that, you sit back and think about what is NOT there. (The tall beefy white man’s sidekicks are both white characters. None of them are woman. None of them are people of color. And so on and so on.)

Once you get to this point in your analysis, you start asking different questions about the Thing.

For each answer you come up with to the above questions, you ask yourself:

1. Why?

and

2. How?

Some questions you may find yourself making at this point include:

Why was this Thing done in this way?

Why does this Thing have that audience?

How does this aspect of the Thing affect this other aspect of it?

Why did the person who made this Thing choose to do it X-way and not Y-way?

How might the time and place this Thing was made in affect its creation?

So you may be saying to yourself at this point, “but Matt, this doesn’t sound very critical to me! This just sounds like a load of fucking questions.”

To which I will say: thank god you have finally understood, padawan.

Being critical of something does not mean that you or someone else hates it.

It does not mean that you or someone else thinks the Thing is worthless.

It does not mean that you or someone else hates the people who made the Thing or the people who like the Thing.

It simply means that you have asked questions about the Thing and have recognized what it is, what it is doing, and what it is not doing from a variety of different perspectives.

So that means that when someone comes to you and says, ‘this Thing is having X effect on its audience,’ ‘this part of this Thing is representing X idea in Y ways,’ or ‘this Thing is leaving X people out in its story, which has Y effects’ that ‘criticism’ isn’t actually a targeted attack on you as a person.

This is because Things are not personality traits. Fandom ideas and ships and headcanons and whatever else are not what makes you you. You are special and unique because of so many other things that you do and have experienced. The thing that you like does not make up the entirety of your person or identity, even if that Thing or hell, even if a specific person has a lot of emotional value to you.

And because of that, when someone criticizes a piece of media or an object, they are not criticizing you. Rather, they are explaining to you how a Thing is functioning through a lens that you often don’t have access to or haven’t thought of.

That’s all!

That’s it, folks!

And just so that we are clear, you can absolutely like a Thing after going through this process and finding that it has all sorts of limitations.

You may find that there’s a lot of shit about a bit of media/fandom/object that you don’t like, and you might decide that that shit outweighs the things you do like about whatever it is.

And regardless of the case, you are MORE than allowed to continue to consume a bit of media or whatever and say, ‘you know what? I enjoy this for a number of reasons. And I also acknowledge that there are parts of it that are not good for a number of other reasons. So now when I have fun with this Thing, I’m going to be aware of and sensitive to those less great parts, while also celebrating the good parts of it, too.’

That’s totally fine. In fact, that’s great. That’s amazing. That’s the kind of awareness that people are asking you to have when they ask for critical analysis.

So. In conclusion:

Critical analysis is a tool that helps you think beyond the surface layer of an idea/thing/object. Being asked to think critically is not an attack. It does not mean that you cannot enjoy something or let it occupy an important place in your heart.

Critical analysis is a tool for everyone to use, and it is intended to help you understand how an idea/thing/object relates both to itself and the world around it.

What you do with critical analysis after that point is all up to your values and morals.

Anyways, if you have more questions, please don’t ask me. Ask yourself and then ask Google for more information or what to do next. That’s a whole different process called ‘researching’ and no one is paying me to teach you all how to research next. (...UNLESS???)

#god I don't even know what to tag this #writing advice #fandom #fuck me idk what else #also if you crawl into my askbox with some shitty 'counter' argument I'm going to block you I'm sorry like go get a therapist #or pay your mom or whoever to listen to all your shitty takes #you couldn't pay me enough to do emotional labor for some stranger I don't know from Adam

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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years

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Can I request Hanako (or Amane Yugi), Teru Minamoto, and Akane Aoi (the male) with a female s/o who is literally invisible to people. (This totally not based on events that actually happened to me-)

Like some people, even her close friends, won’t even notice she’s there and if she’s has to asks something she tends to repeat it or stutter. She also tends to get forgetting or lost on school trips, etc.

This has happened for as long as she could remember and she’s use to it by now but sometimes it still hurts when they forget her

Headcanons please!

hanako x f!reader, teru minamoto x f!reader, akane aoi x f!reader

a/n: sure thing!! I feel like Hanako would understand that as a ghost, so I think I’ll write for him in his ghosty form! I hope that’s alright :)) thank you so much for requesting, and I hope these turn out alright!!

I’m really sorry if these are shorter or poorer than normal, and if they’re formatted strangely- I’m doing my best to get requests done on my phone (´ε｀”)

warnings: none?

word count: 1,414

Hanako <3

He understands, he understands more than anyone- so he thinks. I mean, he’s a ghost. He literally cannot be seen by anyone who isn’t an exorcist, near death, a fellow supernatural, or bound to him in some way.

Still… honestly, he gets pretty defensive over you-

They can’t hear him, but you can. (They can’t hear you, but he certainly can.) It’s honestly somewhat humorous, Hanako standing behind you, shouting that they’d better listen up!!

“IF YOU GUYS MAKE (Y/N) REPEAT HERSELF ONE MORE TIME?? Are they deaf, (Y/N)?? I think they’re deaf?????”

His reactions like that are half-joking-half-serious. He’s genuinely upset that they treat you like that- but he hopes that all his ranting and going on helps you to feel better somehow?

He can’t exactly follow you on trips, but! He makes Yashiro “Honorary (Y/N) Defense”! Meaning, since he can’t, she’ll defend you in his place!

You get interrupted or ignored? Hanako tells Yashiro to help you out, and (though she would any way) she’s raising her hand somewhat shyly- explaining that you were trying to talk.

Getting left behind on a field trip? Yashiro is sticking by your side! She turns around constantly, making sure that you keep up with her, and especially making sure that you get on the bus with the rest! As per Hanako’s request, and her own care for you, she’ll let you sit next to her.

Hanako is always very talkative, but he’s still very patient with you- he loves to have conversations with you, which is a big reason he doesn’t get why they treat you like that. You’re such a great person-! You’ve got such a cute voice-!!! Why don’t they listen-?!!!

To be honest, he finds your stutter kind of cute… he’s quite bold, so you being timid is something he doesn’t mind! Hanako doesn’t mind listening out for you- even if the other people aren’t in a relationship for you, isn’t it… basic human decency?? What happened to that???

“It’s really alright, Hanako. Things like this have happened since I was little- it hurts sometimes, but I’m mostly used to it.”

Hanako would then grab your shoulders gently, looking in your eyes with some determination!

“You shouldn’t have to be used to that!! I’m used to it because I’m dead, but you’re… alive. You can be heard and seen by everyone, yet they choose to not listen- it’s… ridiculous. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that, (Y/N)... really.”

Uncharacteristically soft moment, but it simply hits different for him due to personal experience. I’m sure as a human, the only time people saw him were when he was bullied, and now he’s- obviously- not seen by nearly anyone. It’s such a lonely feeling, and he genuinely hates that you can relate to it.

Teru Minamoto <3

It’s hard to not garner attention as Teru Minamoto’s girlfriend- so, people certainly acknowledge you once your relationship is made public/becomes obvious.

But! Before the entire school knew about the Prince having a girlfriend, Teru was… quite defensive over you- even before the two of you were a couple, he’d notice the way others seemed to step all over you. Ignoring you, interrupting you, forgetting about you.

Like Hanako, he doesn’t get it? You’ve got his attention, how do you not have anyone else’s? You’re so cute… and really do have a lovely voice, appearance, and overall are really pleasant to be around?? If anything you deserve more praise than he does-

He also doesn’t get it due to the fact that people acknowledge him a little too much-

Anyway, he tends to give that praise he thinks you deserve to you!

Meaning, he brags on you so much. Compliments you to your face, telling you how nice it is to converse with you- telling his family how lovely of a person you are. He even mentions it to classmates, which does start to earn others being more noticeable of your presence.

Not afraid to stick up for you in the least!! Who wouldn’t listen to Teru?? The moment someone interrupts, he’s politely making his way into the conversation- offering an “I’m sorry, I don’t think (Y/N) got her chance to speak.”

“Th-That’s okay, Teru. I appreciate it, but I’m used to things like that,” You told him after class, slightly embarrassed.

“Used to things like being ignored?”

“Yeah..?”

“...you shouldn’t have to be. I’d never be upset with you, but it does upset me that people have been so willing to pretend you aren’t there? I think you’re lovely, and nearly impossible to ignore. It’s simply confusing, I suppose.”

BRO if he, for some reason, isn’t on the field trip and you get forgotten- it’s game over for the chaperones will get their heads chewed off. Except he’ll be calm and collected while doing so- however, on the inside, he can’t express how upset he is.

“Is it not your job to make sure all the students are accounted for? What if (Y/N) had gotten lost? Do you not realize she could have been kidnapped? Should some low-life had decided to try anything strange, the blame would have been on you, and therefore our entire school. What would that do for both your’s and the school’s reputation?”

If he’s on the trip? You won’t be getting forgotten <3 Even you were to get distracted for a moment, he’s grabbing your hand and making sure you stay caught up with the class. Sits with you on the bus, and makes absolutely sure that you’re safe and with him!!

Akane Aoi <3

He worships the very ground you walk on. We all know how he treated Aoi? Well, now that’s how he treats you- maybe a bit less exaggerated and dramatic, but all that love and more is there!

So, he’s admiring you, and sees that you keep opening your mouth in an attempt to speak- only to have someone interrupt you, not even acknowledging that you’re there??

“Hey, (Y/N), what’s up?”

“O-oh, I was just trying to ask them something…”

“Oi, you heard her. Shut up for a moment and let (Y/N) get her question in.”

Most are somewhat aware of how scary Akane can be, so they’ll certainly listen whenever he’s there. Heck, people occasionally keep an extra eye open if they know he’s around- making sure they don’t unintentionally look past you.

If you dislike his very direct method, he’ll try to be nicer to others about it. But, he can’t help but get defensive- like our other boys, he admires you so much, and enjoys talking with you so much, that- by this point- others are simply missing out?? Like, it’s basically their loss for treating you like that. And it’s his mission to shower you in love and admiration to a point where others do the same- platonically of course, and boys better rethink anything that isn’t strictly “wow (Y/N) is cool, it’s cool that she’s taken by Akane.”

Cos, as we all know, if someone even says “oh, (Y/N) probably makes a cute girlfriend” it’s game over. RIP unknowing student, he had no mercy bashing their skull in </3

“Akane, it’s really fine, you know? Things like this happen been happening since... forever. I’m just not easily noticed, I suppose. I’m used to it!”

“Hmm... well, get un-used to it. You’ve got the most beautiful presence and voice of anyone I know! And, I want the class- for everyone- to be able to acknowledge that. You shouldn’t have to repeat yourself constantly, nor be ignored like that. Not on my watch, at least.”

You won’t be getting forgotten. He’s ahead of Teru, ahahahaaaa!!! If he isn’t on the field trip, he’s telling someone who will be to keep an eye out for you “or else <3”. The person wouldn’t even bother to question it- just nod and keep an eye out for you constantly. They even offer to have you sit with them! How sweet! Glad to know they value their skulls!!

If he’s on the trip, like the others, he’s keeping an eye out for you constantly. He’ll hold your hand the entire time, stopping as you pleased, but keeping an eye out for the group. He wants you to see what you want, so you will- all while staying with the class, or at least close to the class. If he, for some reason, were to lose sight of the class, he takes comfort in the fact that you wouldn’t be lost alone.

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pumpkinpaix · 3 years

Text

mdzs fandom, diaspora, and cultural exchange

Hey everyone. This post contains a statement that’s been posted to my twitter, but was a collaborative effort between several diaspora fans over the last few weeks. Some of the specifics are part of a twitter-localized discourse, but the general sentiments and issues raised are applicable across the board, including here on tumblr.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably seen a few of my posts about this fandom, cultural exchange, and diasporic identity. For example, here, here, and here. This statement more directly criticizes some of the general issues I and others have raised in the past, and also hopefully provides a little more insight into where those issues come from. I would be happy if people took the time to read and reblog this, as the thought that went into it is not trivial, and neither is the subject matter. Thank you.

Introduction

Hello. I'm a member of a Chinese diaspora discord server - I volunteered to try and compile a thread of some thoughts regarding our place and roles in the fandom expressed in some of our recent discussions. This was primarily drafted by me and reviewed/edited by others with the hopes that we can share a cohesive statement on our honest feelings instead of repeatedly sharing multiple, fragmented versions of similar threads in isolation.

This was compiled by one group of diaspora and cannot be taken to represent diaspora as a whole, but we hope that our input can be considered with compassion and understanding of such.

For context, we are referencing two connected instances: the conflict described in these two threads (here and here), and when @/jelenedra tweeted about giving Jewish practices to the Lans. Regarding the latter, we felt that it tread into the territory of cultural erasure, and that it came from a person who had already disrespected diaspora’s work and input.

Context

The Lans have their own religious and cultural practices, rooted both in the cultural history of China and the genre of xianxia. Superimposing a different religious practice onto the Lans amidst other researched, canonical or culturally accurate details felt as if something important of ours was being overwritten for another’s personal satisfaction. Because canon is so intrinsically tied to real cultural, historical, and religious practices, replacing those practices in a canon setting fic feels like erasure. While MDZS is a fantasy novel, the religious practices contained therein are not. This was uncomfortable for many of us, and we wanted to point it out and have it resolved amicably. We were hoping for a discussion or exchange as there are many parallels and points of relation between Chinese and Jewish cultures, but that did not turn out quite as expected.

What happened next felt like a long game of outrage telephone that resulted in a confusion of issues that deflected responsibility, distracted from the origin of the conflict, and swept our concern under the rug.

Specifically, we are concerned about how these two incidents are part of what we feel is a repeated, widespread pattern of the devaluing of Chinese fans’ work and concerns within this fandom. This recent round of discourse is just one of many instances where we have found ourselves in a position of feeling spoken over within a space that is nominally ours. Regardless of what the telephone game was actually about, the way it played out revealed something about how issues are prioritized.

Background

MDZS is one of the first and largest franchises of cmedia that has become popular and easily accessible outside of China. Moreover, it’s a piece of queer Chinese media that is easily accessible to those of us overseas. For many non-Chinese fans, this is the first piece of cmedia they have connected with, and it’s serving as their introduction to a culture previously opaque to them. What perhaps is less obvious is that for many Chinese diaspora fans, this is also the first piece of cmedia THEY have connected with, found community with, seen themselves in.

Many, many of us have a fraught relationship with our heritage, our language—we often suffer from a sense of alienation, both from our families and from our surrounding peers. For our families, our command of the language and culture is often considered superficial, clunky, childish. Often, connecting with our culture is framed as a mandatory academic duty, and such an approach often fosters resentment towards our own heritage. For our non-Chinese peers, our culture is seen as exotic and strange and other, something shiny and interesting to observe, while we, trapped in the middle, find ourselves uprooted and adrift.

MDZS holds an incredibly important place in many diaspora’s hearts. Speaking for myself, this is literally the first time in my life I have felt motivated and excited about my own native tongue. It's the first time I have felt genuine hope that I might one day be able to speak and read it without fear and self-doubt. It is also the first time that so many people have expressed interest in learning from me, in hearing my thoughts and opinions about my culture.

This past year and a half in fandom has been an incredible experience. I know that I am not alone in this. So many diaspora I have spoken to just in the last week have expressed similar sentiments about the place MDZS holds in their lives. It is a precious thing to us, both because we love the story itself, and because it represents a lifeline to a heritage that’s never felt fully ours to grasp.

It’s wonderful to feel like we are able to welcome our friends into our home and show them all these things that have been so formative to our identities, and to be received with such enthusiasm and interest. Introducing this to non-Chinese friends and fans has also been an opportunity to bridge gaps and be humanized in a way that has been especially important in a year where yellow peril fear mongering has been at an all-time high.

History

However, MDZS’ rise in popularity among non-Chinese audiences has also come with certain difficulties. It is natural to want to take a story you love and make it your own: that’s what transformative fandom is all about. It is also natural that misunderstandings and unintentional missteps might happen when you aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of the culture and political history of the story in question. This is understandable and forgivable—perfection is impossible, even for ourselves.

We hope for consideration and respect when we give our knowledge freely and when we raise the issue of our own discomfort with certain statements or actions regarding our culture. Please remember that what is an isolated incident to you might be a pattern of growing microaggressions to us. In non-Asian spaces, Asian diaspora are often lumped together under one umbrella. In the west, a lot of Chinese diaspora attach themselves to Korean and Japanese media in order to feel some semblance of connection to a media which approximates our cultures because there are cultural similarities. This is the first time we've collectively found community around something that is actually ours, so the specificities matter.

There is a bitterness about being Asian diaspora and a misery in having to put up a united front about racial issues. Enmity towards one group becomes a danger to all of us, all while our own conflicted histories with one another continue to pass trauma down through the generations. Many of us don’t even watch anime in front of our grandparents because of that lingering cultural antipathy. When the distinctions between our cultures are muddled, it feels once again like that very fraught history is flattened and forgotten.

Without the lived experience of it, it’s hard to understand how pervasive the contradictory web of anti-Asian and, more specifically, anti-Chinese racial aggressions are and how insidious its effects are. The conflation of China the political entity (as perceived and presented by the US and Europe) with its people, culture, and diaspora results in an exhausting litany of criticism levied like a bludgeon, often by people who don’t understand the complicated nature of a situation against those of us who do.

There is often a frankly stunning lack of self-awareness re: cultural biases and blind spots when it comes to discussions of MDZS, particularly moral ones. There are countless righteous claims and hot takes on certain aspects of the story, its author, and the characters that are so clearly rooted in a Euroamerican political and moral framework that does not reflect Chinese cultural realities and experiences. Some of these takes have become so widespread they are essentially accepted as fanon.

This is a pattern of behavior within the fandom. It is not limited to any specific group, nor does it even exclude ourselves—we are, after all, not a monolith, and we should not be placed on pedestals to have our differing opinions weaponized against one another in fandom squabbles. We are not flawless in our own understandings and approaches, and we would appreciate it if others would remember this before using any of us as ultimate authorities to settle a personal score.

It is difficult not to be disheartened when enthusiastic interest crosses the line into entitled demand and when transformative work crosses into erasure, especially when the reactions to our raised concerns have so frequently been dismissive and hostile. The overwhelming cultural and emotional labor we bring to the table is often taken advantage of and then criticized in bad faith. We are bombarded with racist aggressions, micro and macro, and then met with ridicule and annoyance when we push back. Worse, we sometimes face accusations of hostility that force us to apologize, back down, and let the matter go.

When we bring up our issues, it usually seems to come with the expectation that there are other issues that should be addressed before we can address ours. It feels like it’s never really the time to talk about Asian issues.

On the internet and in fandom spaces, Western-coded media, politics and perspectives are assumed to be general knowledge and experience that everyone knows and has. It feels like a double standard that we are expected to know the ins and outs of western politics and to engage on these terms, but most non-Chinese have not even the slightest grasp of the sort of politics that are at play within our communities. We end up feeling used for our specialized knowledge and cultural background and then dismissed when our opinions and problems are inconvenient.

As the culture represented in MDZS is not a culture that most non-Chinese fans are familiar with, we’d like to remind you that you do not get to decide which parts of it are or are not important. While sharing this space with Chinese diaspora who have a close connection to the work and the painful history that goes along with being diaspora, we ask that you be mindful of listening to our concerns.

Cultural erasure is tied to a lot of intense historical and generational trauma for us that maybe isn't immediately evident: the horrors of the Pacific theatre, the far-reaching consequences of colonization, racial tensions both among ourselves and with non-Chinese etc. These are not minor or simple things, and when we talk about our issues within fandom, this is often what underlies them. This is one of the first and only places many of us have been able to find community to discuss our unique issues without feeling as if we’re speaking out of turn.

With the HK protests, COVID, the anti-Chinese platforms of the US election etc., anti-Chinese sentiment has been at the forefront of the global news cycle for some time now, and it is with complete sincerity that we emphasize once again how important MDZS fandom has been as a haven for humanizing and valuing Chinese people through cultural exchange.

Experiencing racial aggression within that space stings, not just because it’s a space we love, but because it feels like we’ve been swimming in rapidly rising racial aggression for over a year at this point.

Feelings

This is a difficult topic to broach at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. Many of us have a wariness of rocking the boat instilled in us from our upbringings, and it is not uncommon for us to feel like we should be grateful that people want to engage with something of ours at all. When we do decide to speak up, we’ve learned that there is a not insignificant chance that we’ll be turned on and trampled over because what we’ve said is inconvenient or uncomfortable. When it is already so difficult to speak up, we end up second-guessing and gaslighting ourselves into wondering whether there really was a problem at all.

We’d like to be able to share what we know about our culture and have our knowledge and experience be taken seriously and treated with courtesy. This is a beautiful, rich world built with the history of our ancestors, one that we too are trying to connect with. When we find it in ourselves to speak up about it, we would appreciate being met with consideration instead of hostility.

We don't have the luxury of stepping away from our culture when we get tired of it. We don't get to put it down and walk away when it’s difficult. But if you're not Chinese or Chinese diaspora, you get to put this book down—we'd like to kindly request that you put it down gently because of how much it matters to all of us in this fandom, regardless of heritage.

What we are asking for is reflection and thoughtfulness as we continue to engage with this work and with one another, especially with regards to how Chinese issues are positioned. When we raise issues of our own discomfort, please take a moment to reflect before reacting defensively or trying to shut us down for spoiling the fun—don’t deprioritize our concerns, especially in a fandom for a piece of Chinese media. We promise most of us are not trying to start shit for the sake of a fight. Most of the time, all we want is acknowledgement and a genuine attempt at understanding.

Our hope with this statement is to encourage more openness and understanding between diaspora and non-Chinese fans while we navigate this place that we’re sharing. Please remember that for many of us, MDZS is far more intense than a typical fandom experience. Remember that the knowledge we have and research we do is freely and happily given, and that it costs us both materially and emotionally. Please don’t take that for granted. Remember too that sometimes the reason for our discomfort may not be immediately evident to you: what seems culturally neutral and harmless might touch upon specific loaded issues for us. We ask for patience, and we ask for sincerity as we try to communicate with one another.

We are writing this because there’s a collective sense of imposed silence—that every time the newest round of discourse crops up, we often feel as if we’re walking away having created no meaningful change, and nursing new wounds that we’ll never get to address. But without speaking up about it, this is a cycle that will keep repeating.

This is not meant to shame or guilt the fandom into throwing themselves at our feet, either to thank us or beg for forgiveness—far from that. We’re just your friends and your fellow fans. We are happy to have you here, and we’re happy to create and share and play together. We just ask to be respected and heard.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Several of us will be stepping back from twitter for a while. We’ll see you when we get back. ❤️

* A final addendum: here are two articles with solid practical advice on writing stories regarding a culture other than your own.

Cultural Appropriation for the Worried Writer: Some Practical Advice

Cultural Appropriation: Some More Practical Advice

The thread on twitter is linked in the source of this post. Thanks everyone.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #the untamed #the untamed meta #cql #asian diaspora #chinese diaspora #race #racism #mine #mymeta #once again my tag failing me because this is a collaborative work #but! for the sake of organization #statistically average #cultural appropriation #cultural erasure #what else do i tag this im so wired

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