#I still need to do proper fanart for some of these comics but at least this is a start | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redheadspark · 1 year

Text

Shift

Summary: Clío and Druig share a moment together before their first child is born.

Warnings: Just some fluff!

A/N: I got the inspiration for this from some lovely fanart from my dear friend @heartofwritiing! This is part o the Melody Series. I hope you all like it!

“What are you up to, my darling?”

“Finishing this book Sersi recommended to me,”

Druig hummed as he walked into the living room from the kitchen, you flipping another page from the older books that as sent to you in the mail from England. Another folk tale book that Sersi told you was in her private collection thanks to her line of work. Being as careful as you could, you were intrigued with the book since you couldn’t do anything else at this length deep in your pregnancy.

Being 8 months pregnant was a bit tolling, the main struggle was your sense of gravity being thrown off. It would take you a bit longer to walk across the room or even shift from one stance to another, thankfully Druig would be there to help guide you when he sense you would topple over. It only happened once, a bit comical to say the least to which you both were laughing from the silliness of it all. You were finally ridden to rest your feet, which made time feel slow since you were always moving or on the go. Druig had to remind you to stop and rest, in return you would glare at him and he would just smile widely.

According to Phastos, you were only a week or two away from your due date. It was a bit harder to go off of Phastos since he was no doctor, and going to a hospital was out of the question. The last thing either you or Druig wanted to do was to have your baby be born in a hospital and questions were thrown at you. Especially Druig, whom was far more protective of you in the last few months. So Phastos made the medical equipment to monitor you and the baby, making you beyond thankful that Phastos and the others were in your corner. No matter how scary it seemed, or undecided with what you future was going to hold, there was still a small sense of ease with your supportive family.

Druig being the most supportive of all.

He moved to the end of the couch where your feet were, sitting on the edge and taking one foot within his palms to start massaging it. You moaning softly, a content look on your lips as Druig grinned from your reaction. The aches of your feet were constant, needing to raise them up every once in awhile to get some kind of relief throughout the day. And now that Druig was massaging one of them in his rough yet soothing palms, the relief was instant and mind blowing.

“My poor wife,” Druig hummed, not in a teasing way, but in a way to make you glare at him as he chuckled, “You must be over this already,”

“The uncomfortableness and constant lower back pain, and request bathroom runs? Of course I am,” You huffed, yet you grinned as your fingers traced the top of your belly, “But the kicking….not too much,”

Druig paused his massaged, looking at you with intrigue, “Kicking?”

“Yeah, all the time,” You answered, seeing him look from your foot over to your belly. Druig never really asked about it, not throughout the pregnancy, but the kicks were constant and daily when you were around 7 months. It was as if your unborn child was already trying to communicate and talk to you, the small sensation of feeling it against your belly seemed like an out of body experience. There was no way to describe, not when it first happened to you when you were out brushing the horses in the corral.

The first kick was hard and distinct, your child communicating to you.

“What does it feel like?” He asked, moving to massage your foot again but not as frequent like before. You thought about it, not knowing the proper way to say it. After a good pause, your fingers were dancing on top of the shirt, feeling your tight skin under there as you finally explained it to Druig.

“Like the sense of falling, that fluttering in your stomach when you fall to the ground,” You explained, Druig hanging on your every word, “It not a bad feeling, but more of a flying sensation I think. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” Druig replied without hesitation. You were about to say something else when you felt it: a hard kick. You giggled placing your palm right along the left side of your belly to feel right where the kick occurred, Druig’s eyes going big as another kick happened. Your smile widened, rubbing the area with ease since it felt like a frustrated kick than anything.

You were anticipation your baby coming into the world, all of these months carrying your child and dreaming of what your future would hold as a mother. Of course your hormones were all over the place since the start of your pregnancy, but you never minded them. It was a true gift to be able to be a mother, you’ve seen others become mothers in this very way over the centuries as an Eternal. Willing to sacrifices their lives for such a small and innocent being, changing their world permanently and never once second guessing it.

Even in the Amazon it was a blessed event when a child was born. The mother going through agony and pain from the childbirth, all for the sake of bringing their baby safely in the world. Some didn’t make it, either the baby or the mother. Sometimes both never made it, and those times were glimpsed in pain and sorrow. But to being a being in the world was sacred and was considered a massive sense of faith and strength.

And now you were going through it yourself, as an Eternal.

“Here,” You reached out to take his hand, gesturing him to move down the couch in your direction. Druig went willingly, you placing his hand over where the kick was. But once he touched there, it was still for a moment. Druig kept his palm there along the top of your shirt, his eyes moving to the area too. From your angle, you could see the wonder in his blue orbs and the hope that he would feel it too.

After a long pause, a hard kick was felt.

Druig’s eyes were massive, like he was discovering something new right in front of his eyes. He was in a way: feeling his active unborn child against his wife’s belly. You wish to know what was going on in his own head, the pondering questions that were filling his mind. He was just as shocked as you were when you found out you were pregnant, having so many questions as to how it was possible and how it never happened sooner, if you were going to be safe, if the baby would be safe.

But he also was hopeful and beyond happy, becoming a father was something he never thought he could have but now it was all he thought about. This new future for you two, this new road of parenthood that was paved in front of you seemed too good to be true at times. But Druig looked at the blessing of it all, feeling as though you both were destined for this. Maybe you were, and seeing the love in his eyes as he felt his child kick against him.

“Wow,” He said in a breath, almost unsure that it was real. The baby kicked again, you smiling so widely as Druig was keeping his hand very still, afraid to move it from the very spot where your child kicked.

“Your voice,” You said to him calmly, lacing your hand with his on your stomach, “I think he likes it,”

“You still think we’re have a boy,” Druig said in a hoarse amused tone, almost like he was holding back his tears. But the evidence of tears were there, being moved from this moment. To see the mind controller, ever aloof and powerful as an Eternal, being so vulnerable with his unborn child. Of course, he always had the love for innocent humans, no matter how small they were. His heart was soft, though guarded most of the time around the others, but it was soft and tender for you to hold yourself. Seeing how much Druig savored and cared for human life, it was all the more memorable that that love and care would be engulfed because of your unborn child.

“Druig,” You said his name, Druig humming to indicate he heard you as he still looked at the very spot the baby kicked, “Can…can you hear his thoughts?”

It sounded outlandish, almost bizarre in why you would ask that. You read a few books about your pregnancy and what the baby development as the months came and went. Babies can hear, not very well in the womb but they could. It made you wonder if your husband would be able to hear your child’s thoughts.

“I don’t think so,” Druig replied thoughtfully, his fingers then slowly moving across the area with his smile still on his face, “But I know I won’t ever do it,”

“Do what?”

“Read her thoughts,” Druig said, looking at you finally and seeing the sincerity in his eyes and how he sounded sure of himself, “I won’t use my powers on her, just as I don’t use them on you,”

You tilted your head at him, wondering if you could fall in love with him any more than you were at the moment. You then had to giggle, “You think it’s a girl?”

“I do,” Druig answered, another massive kick was felt against his hand as Druig gave you a smirk, “Our little one agrees.”

You felt him move your shirt up a bit, showing your massive belly to make you shiver from the wind that came in the living room. You were about to tell him to place the shirt down when he leaned down to place his ear along the top of your belly, having you freeze in shock. Druig stayed quiet, his arms around your protectively and securely as his face was towards you and his eyes slid shut. The very image made you feel beyond loved, to catch Druig in such a sacred moment and with vulnerability, it made your heart break in the best way possible.

There was rarely a time to see Druig in such a state: For centuries you watched Druig remain poise and in control. Whether he had to use his abilities on humans to save them from Deviants, or when you both were in the village for 500 years. Druig always had a facade on in front of others to remain strong, or have the illusion of being strong.

Yet the small pockets of moments to see him open and bare, like an open book that held a sacred passage or a flickering light in complete darkness. It took him years and years to realize that vulnerability was a different kind of strength, there was no shame in letting one’s inner soul be exposed every once in awhile. It felt like a gift to see it yourself, and even more so for Druig to share that with you.

Those vulnerable moments were negative at times. Seeing Druig watch from afar as humans were harming one another, no being able to save them or step in. You would hold his hand, silently telling him that he did all he could do, yet it wasn’t enough. Druig would go against Ajak and her philosophies that were aligned with Arishem, not having us interfere with anything that could stop the human evolution. You would hug him and let him vent it out, knowing it was betterthna holding it in.

But the worst was watching Druig on his knees with his head in his hands mere hours after you both left the family at Tenochtitlan, feeling the pain of the genocide in front of his eyes with no chance of saving any of the innocent humans. You held him as he weeped and cried, digging his fingers into the soil and letting out all the pain festering inside of him. If only you could will it away, make all the pain cease to exist the man you loved.

Not this moment, not when he was cradling you close and connecting to your unborn child, almost attempting to push all of his willpower and love into your child before they could come into the world.

“Hello my little one,” You heard in a whisper, noticing it came from Druig. His eyes still stayed closed, yet his voice was beyond soft and almost in a hum while he spoke again, “I can’t wait to meet ya,”

A few tears were threatening to come out from your eyes, yet you never tore your gaze from Druig.

Druig started to hum, you knew the song from centuries ago back in Babylonia. The familiar chorus and the acute tune that you knew and grew to love was evident his lips as Druig hummed to the belly. Your fingers moved to run through his hair, a new moment of intimacy was in place for your soon to be family of three. For so long you were used to having Druig to yourself, to have Druig’s love and affection as if it was second nature. To know within weeks that there would be a newborn, one with the perfect mixture of yourself and Druig, it would be a big shift for not just yourself but with Druig too.

Yet now what you were hearing and seeing in front of you, sprawled on the couch with your husband head on your belly and a Babylonian lullaby sung in the air of the farmhouse, you were ready for the shift.

You both were ready.

The End.

tagged: @a-lumos-in-the-nox @basicrese @heartofwritiing @botanicalbarnes

#druig x oc #drio #clio x druig #daddydruigandmelody #daddydruig #druig x female reader #druig x female reader #druig x you #druig x reader #druig fluff #druig eternals #marvels eternals #marvel cinematic fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe fanfiction #mcu writing #mcu fanfiction #mcu phase 4

60 notes · View notes

jajna · 1 year

Text

Activity UPDATE

So I been getting back from art block and putting my best foot forward on most sites, mainly art related sites i feel need a proper chance again. By that I mean 1, post more art and 2, interact with others. Which I found highly rewarding before and find I STILL love even when I don’t get likes/reblogs/replies on my posts. Curious~ More of journals and expressive outlets by this point for myself. Course, I love when my posts make friends and others happy or interested xD can’t lie about that! lol But can’t take that for granted or you be disappointed. -shrug- \-(owo)-/ now...... *what do people tend to connect in posts more* ~

- Colors choice are a big one. I am not the best with pigment choices and patience slip up. When you have good color harmony people’s flock! xD - Fanart. Course, they don’t know your OC’s, Relate more to their favorite movie/book/etc. This works out great for me tho, tend to put OC’s or sona to interact with fanart characters. its great! More fun for ME! - Comics/active images. Easier to comment on then say a posing character. - Personal art. I tend to like art more when I know the artist, or at least find them funny, kind or somewhat relate to them emotionally. This is why I think personal art are extremely important. They are putting themselfs out there, connecting with their family/friends/audience despite all trolls/haters/AI and art thiefs. And If I think this are important. Then I bet. Most art lovers are the same. --------- BUT OF COURSE!!

We can’t create for others. no! well, maybe, if it’s your work and you have no choice and need income. o_o; still STiiiiiiiiiiiiiILL To protect you from art blocks and burned out!!!! - it’s important to sometimes like the idea of what you draw! Get it out there and even if nobody interacts with it’s creation, you, are happy its out. create for yourself. /^ U^/ When in an art block I rather sketch faces of all my OC’s, it’s relaxing. no rules about having to look good, surprising how creative one become with the I draw whatever i want mood. - Write a creative list: of things you would want to create for a blue day when the head is empty(butyoufffffSTILLwanttodraw). this goes hand in hand with the first one, but are soooooo fucking handy. ---------------

hum... thinking about all that I started ponder whyyyyyy i post stuff on the internet. like.... For me personally, - It’s mainly friends and art community!!! - I also like using these sites as journals/blogging/outlet. - and some sites are handy portfolios. ;)) not particular important for ME. but you know... people (mainly family lol) get’s curious what you are drawing. ------------------------ and after all that I want to turn to the subject of problematic interactions on the internet.... the creativity killers, trolls/haters/AI art/art thieves................. =____= I know................ better be done with this one quick. Bleeeh.... - Block if they make you uncomfortable, it’s your room. - Delete comments freely. - You don’t own them anything. ----------------------------------------------------- NOW.

Having said all this I am highly aware folks are working/going to school, rather be with family when free and the world are in a stressful position. Becomes even harder if your disabled, easily stressed and got frail income (and so much more!!!!!) Art is not your main focus. Only reason I myself can art every day and be be active online Is I made it a daily activity, to make myself happier. ^^ Because I was retired at an early age of 30. Could not keep up with today’s pressure of society because of my ADHD. Working 8 times a day, doing shores like shower/do dishes/bills/wash clothes and still have energy after for family and friends was impossible. ^^; Was lucky to have a mom who work in the health field so she noticed my difficulties just as I entering my teen years. To not mention, Sweden are one of those countries who take mental health rather seriously. Which is how I can survive without working full time and instead have meetups and the like with others like me almost every day to at least get out from the house. Daily activities or schedules are encouraged. Like going to the gym, hanging with friends an family, working on your interest.

SO YOU MIGHT SEE WHY IT’S EASIER FOR ME!! don’t beat yourself up. I can only do this because of all the support I have and, well, my own urge still wanting to contribute to society. Would not get anything done if I didn’t find art/blogging/journaling interesting. xD I dono If I ever get a proper job. If I have one It have to fit me personally rather then I fitting in a tight mold. I was so frustrated and felt trapped for years. Nowadays I accepted reality but have not abandoned my dreams. Dreams are important. Make art to make yourself happy you guys!!! <3

#this is the mun Jajna writing about all the things #it got long #but thats ok #we see if there be any art done today lol xDDD #have a fantastic evening/day/morning/night you all!!!

3 notes · View notes

sigynappreciation · 3 years

Text

Sigyn Meta: Who is Sigyn?

A Norse Goddess who is known for being the wife of the Trickster, Loki, and holding the bowl to protect him from the snake’s venom.

But besides that, Who is Sigyn? What does she mean to others?

Journey with me as we explore who she is -- not only in the mythologies, but in other forms like the Marvel Comics, Worship and through fans.

#JusticeforSigyn

Sigyn’s Origins (Mythology):

Sadly, not many stories that have Sigyn in them have survived till today. She is only attested in the following works: Poetic Edda & Prose Edda.

In the poem, Lokasenna, the most famous of poem’s with the couple, it talks of how Loki has been bound by the gods with the guts of his son, Nari, and how his son, Vari, has been turned into a wolf. The Goddess Skadi fastens a venomous snake over Loki’s face, from which venom drips. Sigyn, stated as Loki’s wife, stays by his side and holds a basin under and catches the venom so it won’t drip onto her husband, but when the basin grows full, she pulls it away to empty it, during which time venom drops onto Loki, causing him to wither so violently that earthquakes occur that shake the entire earth.

In the poem, Gylfaginning, Sigyn is introduced in Chapter 31 as being married to Loki and that they have a son by the name of “Narfi or Nari”. She is then mentioned again in Chapter 50 where events are described differently than in Lokasenna; Vali, described as a son of Loki only, is changed into a wolf by the gods and rips apart his brother, “Narfi or Nari.” The guts of Nari are then used to tie Loki to three stones, after which the guts turn to iron, and Skadi places a snake above Loki. Sigyn of course catches the venom in a bowl. This process is repeated until he breaks free, setting Ragnarok into motion.

In the poem, Skáldskaparmál, Sigyn is introduced as a goddess, an Æsir, where the gods are holding a feast for their visitors and in kennings for Loki: “husband of Sigyn” and “cargo [Loki] of incantation-fetter’s [Sigyn’s] arms.”

Sigyn’s name means “Victorious-Girlfriend” in Old Norse.

Sigyn may appear on the Gosforth Cross and has been the subject of an amount of theory and cultural references.

She appears in the 9th century skaldic poem Haustlöng from pagan times, written by the skald Þjóðólfr of Hvinir. Due to this early connection with Loki, Sigyn has been theorized as being a goddess dating back to an older form of Germanic paganism.

Sigyn in Worship/Honor:

I’ll be speaking on this through my personal experience of working with Sigyn while also sharing some tid bits of basic info from others on this subject. I’m someone who works with Sigyn primarily, but sometimes gets help from Loki.

A Lokean is someone who honors Loki as their primary deity ( or at least one of their primary deities.) Most are polytheists that respect a variety of worldviews and a wide variety of gods. FOR MORE ON THIS SUBJECT, VISIT THIS BLOG: https://lokeanwelcomingcommittee.tumblr.com

For those who work with Loki, you will also find yourself working with Sigyn. And sometimes you don’t even need to work with Loki first in order to work with Sigyn (like me!)

Sigyn is usually a calming and motherly presence. Loki is protective over her, but they usually work in unison together to help.

SMALL DEVOTIONAL ACTS TO SIGYN:

Holding the Bowl: It is a reflective act of Sigyn holding the bowl to protect Loki from the snake’s venom. This is usually the major one.

Helping to support mothers (especially single mothers)

Support single parents

Supporting Women’s Rights

Keep fighting through the hardships

Wear earthy tones

Commitment in everything you do.

Help others, but remember that self-care is important too

More devotional acts

KENNINGS/HEITI FOR SIGYN:

Wife of Loki

Incantation-Fetter

Lady of Staying Power

Lady of Unyielding Gentleness

Lady of the Unconquerable Heart

Mother of Narvi and Vali

North Star

Victory Woman

Lady of Loyalty

Loki’s Treasure

Devoted Mother

Lady of Endurance

Goddess of Constancy

Goddess of the Heart

Goddess of Neglected Children

Goddess of Comfort

Healer to All

Mother to All

Beloved of Monsters

SIGYN’S VIRTUES:

Strength

Loyalty

Grace

Humility

Gentleness

Charity

Constancy

Love

Endurance

Patience

Simplicity

Mindfulness

Compassion

I’ll cover more on this subject soon in a separate post, but this is the basic.

Sigyn in the Marvel Comics:

Sadly, Sigyn is not portrayed the best in the Marvel Comics of Thor, resulting in her being missing from the comics since 1996 and practically killed off (only being referenced to in flashbacks.)

Loki comes across her and desires to have her. However, she is already engaged to an Asgardian named Theoric, who Loki has killed and ends up taking on the disguise of in order to take Sigyn for his own. On their wedding day once the vows are said and done, Sigyn accepts her duty as his wife, granting her the title Goddess of Fidelity by Odin.

She doesn’t have much of an agency or personality besides being Loki’s faithful wife in this.

Fans wish for her to make a comeback in the Comics and MCU with better characterization. Hence, much Fanfiction, Cosplay, Roleplay and Fanart has been made of others own interpretation’s of Sigyn and #JusticeforSigyn is shared around in hopes of this.

LIST OF SIGYN COMIC APPEARANCES:

Thor Vol 1 #275 (First appearance, 1978)

Thor Vol 1 #276

Thor Vol 1 #277

Thor Vol 1 #278

Thor Vol 1 #301

Thor Vol 1 #302

Thor Vol 1 #303

Thor Vol 1 #307

Thor Annual Vol 1 (9)

Thor Vol 1 #313

Thor Vol 1 #321

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 1 (1)

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 2 (1)

Gamer’s Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 1 (1)

Thor Annual Vol 1 (14)

Thor Annual Vol 1 (19)

Thor Vol 1 #479

Thor Vol 1 #483

Thor Vol 1 #484 (1995)

Thor: The Legend Vol 1 (1) (1996, last appearance)

Avengers: Loki Unleashed #1 (2019, first & only modern day appearance since 90s. FLASHBACK ONLY)

LIST OF SIGYN MENTIONS IN COMICS:

Thor Annual Vol 1 #10 (1982)

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 1 #11 (1983)

Thor: Asgard’s Avenger Vol 1 #1 (2011)

Mighty Thor Vol 1 #12.1 (2012)

Loki Vol 3 #1 (2019 - referenced)

Sigyn and her impact with Fans:

Sigyn is still not that well known among others, but there is a small community of us fans who honor her through all forms she is displayed and her relationship with Loki. This is the reason this blog and @dailylogyn were created: to help unite fans and spread the word of Sigyn and her relationship with Loki through appreciation and education.

Fans also show their appreciation for Sigyn through Art forms like Fanfiction, Cosplay, Fanart & More! The cool thing is that she can be interpreted however you wish, but her love for Loki and her compassion is always her strong points.

There is a tag #JusticeforSigyn in order to help give her the proper attention she deserves. MORE HERE.

FANARTISTS:

I’m not going to post any of their art here in order to make others visit their blogs and give them the appropriate credit they deserve.

Let’s support content creators! <3

@nanigram/Nanihoo: This artist makes wonderful fanart of her own interpretation of Sigyn and her relationship with Loki (plus their children.) You can usually find most of it on Deviantart.

@sigynart: This artist makes lovely art of Tom Hiddelston’s Loki, but has recently come out with their own interpretation of Sigyn and has even started to draw Loki & Sigyn together.

@dank-art: This artist makes a lot of interesting twists to Sigyn and Loki either if it’s a modern look, an alternate universe or a certain aesthetic of the couple. They have a lot of amazing concept designs concerning Sigyn and Loki!

COSPLAYERS:

@bubbleteycosplay: She is known as the German Sigyn! This cosplayer has done a wide varieties of different versions/outfits of Sigyn. Besides here, you can usually find her on Instagram, Deviantart and other websites. She also helps inform others on Sigyn and her relationship with Loki.

In fact, HERE IS A LIST she has created pertaining to other Sigyn Cosplayers. I’ll list the others below though with links to their pages:

Vontrug (Instagram)

lady_laufeyson (Instagram)

Mizerious (Instagram)

Maryintothewoods (Instagram)

danni_darling (Instagram)

I myself am planning to join these wonderful cosplayers too as I work to create my own Sigyn cosplay as well. :) They are all such an inspiration!

CONCLUSION:

I could go on and on about the subject of Sigyn. She’s an amazing, caring and loving goddess who teaches us many helpful traits we need throughout life. Despite still not being that well known, she is greatly loved by this community -- and none other than Loki.

Hopefully someday she will make a comeback in the Marvel world and get the proper characterization and love she deserves. Till then, us fans will continue to share the love, joy and appreciation we have for Sigyn and her relationship with Loki, welcoming anyone as Sigyn does with open arms and loving hearts.

SOURCES:

Holding the Bowl: https://lokeanwelcomingcommittee.tumblr.com/post/102422224083/a-bowling-tutorial

Lokean Welcoming Community: https://lokeanwelcomingcommittee.tumblr.com

Small Devotional Acts to Sigyn: https://bramblevitch.wordpress.com/2020/06/23/small-devotional-acts-to-sigyn/

Sigyn on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigyn

Lokean Welcoming Community’s topics on Sigyn: https://lokeanwelcomingcommittee.tumblr.com/tagged/sigyn

Sigyn on Marvel Database: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Sigyn_(Earth-616)

Sigyn’s Shrine: Who is Sigyn?: http://www.northernpaganism.org/shrines/sigyn/sigyn/who-is-sigyn.html

Sigyn - Norse Mythology for Smart People: https://norse-mythology.org/sigyn/

#sigyn #justiceforsigyn #norse mythology #marvel #logyn #loki and sigyn #sigynappreciation #sigyn meta #norse pagan #marvel comics #loki x sigyn

163 notes · View notes

dailylogyn · 3 years

Text

Logyn Meta: Loki & Sigyn’s relationship in the Marvel Comics

Photo Source (by Sexy-Salmon): https://lokisergi.tumblr.com/post/70164902295/siege-loki-problems-it-almost-looks-innocent

Other Logyn Meta’s: https://dailylogyn.tumblr.com/tagged/logyn-meta

Did you know Sigyn was in the Marvel Comics long ago? Did you know Loki had a wife?

Oh...that’s probably because Marvel wanted you to forget their terrible writing mistakes concerning this great Norse Couple.

Let’s dive into this exploration of history where the Marvel writers realized they fucked up on telling a perfectly good couples story, and in the process, setting off a spark of rebellion that caused some retconning and a group of fans to demand justice for both Loki & Sigyn -- not just as a couple, but as their own individual beings.

#JusticeforSigyn #JusticeforLoki #JusticeforLogyn

Where it First Began (Meeting & Marriage of Lies):

In September of 1978, Thor #275 came out featuring the first appearance of Sigyn, Loki’s wife from Norse Mythology. She was introduced as a beautiful Asgardian Loki had randomly come across while looking into a crystal ball inside his castle, wanting to find some companionship to fill his loneliness.

However, when Loki came with riches and jewels to offer her in exchange for her hand in marriage, Sigyn outright rejected him, stating she would never take someone as vile as him, even stating she was already engaged to an Asgardian Warrior part of Odin’s guard -- Theoric.

Unable to accept this, Loki came up with a plan to have her fiancee killed during a mission, resulting in the Trickster taking on the disguise of Theoric in order to take Sigyn for his own. Despite having slightly suspicions of her lover being more romantic than before, Sigyn didn't notice that her lover wasn’t exactly who she thought he was.

Now comes the day of the wedding as Odin marries the happy couple. This was when Loki finally revealed his true self and what he had done. Odin tried to null the marriage, but it was against Asgardian law for even the High Father to do such a thing. Hence, Sigyn accepted her fate as Loki’s wife. This caused Odin to name her the Goddess of Fidelity.

Where it’s Heading (Cargo of Incantation-Fetter’s Arms):

Loki being Loki, he did some shit that ended up with him being imprisoned in a tree by Odin, something that infuriated Sigyn, resulting in her trying to take control over Donald Blake to use over the All-Father as a way to free her husband from his punishment. However, it didn’t work out, resulting in a bunch of other crazy shit happening and putting Thor on their trail.

After Balder was killed, Loki was put on trials for his crimes and received yet another punishment that Sigyn had to protect him from -- having burden over the fact she was “the evil’s wife.” Just like the classic Norse tale, she holds a bowl over his head, shielding him from snake venom and leaving to empty it momentarily when it became full, resulting in Loki cursing her.

Also, Loki and Sigyn had a child -- Narvi, but they died young, being used as the binding to imprison Loki (following the Norse myth too.)

Some more crazy shit happens and now Odin has shackled Loki to Sigyn so he doesn’t cause anymore trouble. Loki of course is not pleased about this one bit. Having had enough of this, he went to Odin demanding to be released, only resulting in him being banished to an outpost.

There Just Might be Hope????:

Some more shit happens again, resulting in Loki being stuck in an astral form and bound to a suit of armor so he could reside in Asgard thanks to Sigyn. A fight happens with Thor, Loki and Mephisto, putting Sigyn in danger. This is when for the first time ever, Loki ends up having a tender confession of love over Sigyn, asking Thor to save her since he could not.

It’s unknown if this is just Loki putting on an act or being real, but you know how the Trickster God can be.

After the battle, while Loki had released Sigyn from her marital vows, his wife swore to always be there for him when he needed her.

And that’s the last we see of Sigyn’s regular appearance in the comics in 1996. She makes a cameo in Avengers: Unleashed #1 in 2019, but it’s nothing more than a flashback to her time of helping Loki.

A Hypothesis & Notes on their relationship in comics:

The whole entire plotline consisting of Theoric and Loki killing him in order to obtain Sigyn is just something most of the fandom doesn’t like. Not only does it objectify Sigyn, but it makes Theoric a Pointless character to introduce anyway, only used as a tool for means in which Loki can get Sigyn, when honestly, he could have done so in a different way.

I like that they stick with Sigyn being the faithful wife of Loki (that’s who she is), but they honestly don’t give her any agency in this besides that trait alone. The writers don’t even let Sigyn be her own damn person! She is SO MUCH MORE than Loki’s loyal wife. SHE IS A FREAKIN GODDESS! I know there is more we can do with her.

Instead of pulling the ‘woe is me, my husband is evil and I’ll just go along with it’ card, something else could have been done. LIKE LITERALLY, ANYTHING ELSE! We know Loki can be a troublemaker, but Sigyn knows how to deal with his shit. She isn’t some damsel in distress here! It’s another reason Loki likes her.

Couples can bicker in times, it’s normal in marriages and relationships, but to have Loki whining about how much of a burden Sigyn is is just....WHY? I mean, you went after the woman and killed another guy for her. This is what you wanted! *shakes head at writers*

I will give them kudos though for some of the stuff near the end when Loki actually starts displaying his true feelings of love towards Sigyn. And sadly we only got a little taste of that...and we aren’t even sure if it was an act or Loki being real.

THE FACT THAT SIGYN ISN’T EVEN IN THE COMICS ANYMORE SINCE 1996. She’s only mentioned, but it’s just as a tale, not as an actual person who USED to be his wife. They literally killed her off. EXCUSE ME! #JusticeforSigyn (We’re still waiting for her in the MCU...)

NORSE MYTHOLOGY TIE-INS:

There were some moments in the comics between them that they writers took from Norse Mythology with them. Thought It’d be important to list.

Loki’s Punishment of snake venom dripping onto him while Sigyn holds a bowl to collect it and shield him.

Narvi being Loki & Sigyn’s son who was killed and his insides used to bind Loki for his punishment.

Sigyn being Loki’s wife.

DIFFERENT WRITERS, DIFFERENT CHARACTERIZATION:

As is the case with everything out there, if you have different writers working on the same project, there is bound to be a difference of characterization and interpretation, resulting in OOC moments or just something completely different altogether. After researching and pondering on this subject, I FULLY believe this is what has happened with Loki & Sigyn’s relationship in the comics. Let’s take a look at the evidence I’ve found:

For the comics Sigyn’s creators were Roy Thomas, John Buscema and Tom Palmer.

Loki’s creators for the comics were Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Jack Kirby, Violet Barclay, and honestly, many others.

My favorite quotes on them from the comics:

Wait? Despite the crappy writing, I actually have quotes I like from the comics? GASP! I call these the only positives from the comics of their relationship.

“My Sigyn-- the love of my immortal life...” — Loki, Thor Annual Vol 1 #19

“Aye-- For only Sigyn, of all in the realm eternal, feels love for Loki. And among all Asgardians, only for Sigyn does Loki feel...” — Loki, Thor Annual #19

“Sigyn loves me-- just as she is the only thing in the nine worlds that I truly love.”— Loki, Thor #483

Photo Source: https://www.zerochan.net/1262293#full

Fandoms Wish for MCU & Future Appearance Justice:

Fans would like to see Sigyn make an appearance, not only in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe), but also the Marvel Comics once again. They would like to see Loki & Sigyn’s characters done justice with proper writing, especially regarding their relationship with each other.

This is why there is plenty of fans out there writing Fanfiction, making Fanart, Roleplaying and even Cosplaying them, giving their interpretation’s of what their relationship would be like. This is THE VERY REASON this blog and @sigynappreciation was created to help spread awareness and unite fans who feel the same way.

These characters are very near and dear to our hearts. Some of us even worship them in our religions. We would like to see their relationship grow and portrayed in a way that helps fill the pieces of the missing puzzle to how they came to be in Norse Mythology.

CONCLUSION:

Although their relationship in the comics usually leaves fans grimacing, at least we got to have it explored. Who knows if Marvel will ever touch anything with them ever again, but at least it’s brought together a small community that continues to go strong -- and honestly, that kind of unity is what Loki & Sigyn would want.

So imagine to your hearts content! Draw that fanart! Write those fanfictions! Dress up in that cosplay! Be those characters! But just remember, you have a family here to love and support you.

SOURCES:

Sigyn’s info on Marvel Database: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Sigyn_(Earth-616)

Loki’s info on Marvel Database: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Loki_Laufeyson_(Earth-616)

Sigyn on Marvel Universe: http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/sigynthor.htm

Logyn on the Shipping Wiki: https://shipping.fandom.com/wiki/Logyn

Loki & Sigyn’s relationship through Media: https://www.alehorn.com/blogs/blog/norse-mythology-loki-and-sigyn

#logyn #loki x sigyn #loki and sigyn #Marvel Comics #Loki Laufeyson #sigyn #logyn meta #Constancy & Chaos (Logyn)#justiceforsigyn #justiceforlogyn #justiceforloki

58 notes · View notes

franeridart · 3 years

Text

Anon said: Ahh I really love your art, especially the way you present your story telling in the comics!! I smile every time I see them on my timeline haha thanks for making my (and likely many others) day! Wishing you all the best!!

Thank you so much!!!!! Especially glad to hear you think my comics’ storytelling works ;O; it means a lot!

Anon said: your satosugu arts give me life omg it's so beautiful and i love how smitten gojou is in all of them😭❤️ thank you for giving us pleasant escape from the disaster that is canon

AH GOSH thank you!!! Gojo lives all his feelings to the fullest doesn’t he! He’s a lot of fun to think about as happy and in love, he gives of the feeling of a warm hug to me ;; back in high school Geto was more reserved with his feelings, but I think he’d show it in his own very soft ways.....ahhhhh man, I love them ;;

Anon said: Your Satosugu is giving me life and also the fluff i need because HOLY SHIT THOSE CHAPTERS ;-;

I KNOW gege really looked at the old gen and went “enough with these dudes” huh lmao but I’m excited to see how everything is gonna turn out from now on! Esp since having been abandoned by the elders the protags are gonna have at the same time more options and less wiggle room.......... interesting!! Can’t wait!

Anon said: hey hey hey i just found your acc and i'm so invested in it already GDJSKALA I LOVE YOUR ART as a beginner like can't draw a circle beginner i truly admire your work also do you have any tips on what i should do to improve my art? because i'm on the brink of giving up istg cause my progress is just none there's no progress idk what to do like pls help me HAHAHHAHA idk what to watch how to practice what to do nothing absolutely nothing but i'm trying my best to hang on cause whenever i keep seeing artists like you it just makes me hang on and be like just keep going but even though i say that i'm going nowhere still so pls help... - 🍄

Ah man, I’m glad I can make you feel like keeping trying!! I answered an ask like this a while back here and I can’t say I have anything new to say on the matter? I hope it’ll help you! In the end the biggest suggestion I can give you is to try to figure out what it is that you want to draw and just draw it! Even if you don’t know how to, just draw it the way you can! As long as the act of drawing itself makes you happy more than the final result you’ll keep up with it and the improvement will come for sure!

Anon said: your art always brightens my day. thank you for sharing it!

Thank you for liking it!!! ;;O;;

Anon said: Idk anything about jujutsu kaisen (I hope I write it well), but seeing your fanarts tempts me to start watching it 😍😍😍

I hope you’ll like it if you do try it!!!!! It’s not a story for everyone, but it is a great story for its own genre! And the studio animating it is doing a wonderful job of making it a work of art too TT0TT

Anon said: Hi! Don’t mean to bother but I wanted to let you know that the user yslkeii on tik tok has reposted some of your art. It’s the “some of my favorite dilfs” video, I think the thumbnail is a photo of Levi Ackerman. She knows that none of the artists in the vid allow reposts but won’t take it down so I figured I’d let them know

Thanks for letting me know! Sadly, I have literally no clue how to act on this for tik tok orz if they could at least credit................ I’m not even too opposted to having my stuff used in videos if there’s credit...................................sigh

Anon said: Hello, I was wondering if I could use some of your old mha art as a reference? I won’t post it anywhere, or trace your work I promise!

Sure you can!! If you don’t mean to post it you don’t even need to ask for permission! Just, you know, my stuff is full of mistakes everywhere so don’t take it too much as a good source for proper anatomy reference and stuff like that!

Anon said: a thought i've been sitting on, having not seen it, that is sending me. gojo/geto color pallet swap

You know, I did see that a while back! White-haired Geto and black-haired Gojo, it was stunning! Didn’t look much like themselves though, Gojo especially hahaha the white hair is really distinctive of him, isn’t it? With it black he kinda looks like first-year!Yuuta with sunglasses hahaha

Anon said: Hey! How you doing? So, i wanted to ask you if I could use one of your Kamijirou's fanarts in my Twitter edit, with credits of course! I hope you get mad with this shitty ask, i totally understand if you don't let me use, is your right ♡

I’d prefer it if you didn’t, sorry!!

Anon said: huhghhuhfjfjd i was scrolling thru your art and i hit a todokiribaku thing you made for a friend an d honestly that's all ive ever needed in life. your friend's taste is impeccable *sobs*

She does doesn’t she!! That’s still one golden ot3, I doubt that’s gonna change any time soon

Anon said: sfdghffgdgd gojo has the right idea. they should just make out

They should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish they had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said: i've been looking at your art for months and i //just// realized you've started drawing noses from different angles *facepalm*

I’m trying my best!! It’s one of the things that limited my style the most AND one of the most difficult things for me to tackle, so I’m giving it a shot but still, you know, expect them to stay inconsistent for a while haha

Anon said: so five ish years ago i followed you for haikyuu, then got into bnha through your art and now im very tempted to watch jujutsu kaisen because of you as well

ANON!!!!!! I’m so glad and happy you kept me company this long and through this many fandoms!!!! TTATT if you do try jjk I hope you’ll like it! And if you don’t and decide to leave that’s okay too, I’m just really grateful you stuck around this long already!!! ;;A;; <3<3

#fran answers #long post #have you guys listened to the new hayley williams album btw #i've been listening to it on repeat #getting my stsg feelings all over the place hahaha #sorry miss williams #break-up/i still love you though songs are a one track train for me lately #ah also #jjk spoilers #since we talk about stsg and all #:D

105 notes · View notes

purplerose244 · 3 years

Text

I don’t care

Hi!! This is my fic for the @ninjago-valentine-exchange!! Thank you so much for organizing this, I really had fun writing this! 🥰

Special thank also to @nightlybirdie for the lovely fanart I got to respond to! It’s such an adorable little comic! 😍 I thought making a songfic about the same song you choose would have been fitting, since it really is very Lava like ❤🖤❤🖤

Here we go! Enjoy!! 😊

Summary: It's just another celebration party after all, Cole should be used to feeling left out.

Turns out, someone is very not okay with that.

Also on the AO3

We’re at a party we don’t wanna be at

Trying to talk but we can’t hear ourselves

Red your lips I’d rather kiss ‘em right back

With all these people all around I’m crippled with anxiety

It wasn’t that Cole hated parties.

Although it wasn’t that he loved them either.

“… so thank you again, ninja!” Tipping his hat, the police commissioner finally finished his speech, one that after such a long time spent with them fighting crime and evil beings – like ten years or something? – was starting to sound vaguely repetitive. “Now, without further ado, let us begin this celebration party! To honor our saviors!” The crowd cheered, all the police members bowed at them, and it was finally time to forget about the danger and relax.

… right.

Alright, the black ninja wasn’t a party-pooper – he wasn’t never going to give Jay that satisfaction. There were of course great pros about being here after all, starting from the fact that the very reason there was such a big event in the first place was because they had saved the city once again – he needed to remind Lloyd to bring the sign ‘days Ninjago City wasn’t attacked’ back to zero. This was a celebration in their honor, a thank you for their determination and commitment and for keeping their world safe every time. He could see familiar faces into the crowd, having fun, enjoying the peace that once again so difficulty they had managed to regain.

The music was nice. Nowhere near his usual choice, and he knew he was going to grab his headphones and blast soft rock at full volume as soon as they were back at the monastery, but nice nonetheless – relaxing too… oh… oh, no, no dozing off. His friends were all there, dancing, talking, perfectly in tune with the festive atmosphere.

Oh, there was also a buffet, that was nice. It was also an extremely generous one, with tarts, sandwiches, shrimps and so on, one that could make even Zane’s nindroid mouth water. The black ninja himself had finished his recognition at the table, even though he had ended up with a glass of whatever while standing on the side of the ballroom. All he knew was that it was sparkling and slightly bitter. Not really his taste.

Nothing felt like his taste right now… but that went beyond his beverage choice.

He tried to widen his collar, for the fifth time in the last hour. He should’ve known better than borrowing a suit from his father, besides their obvious different sizes. Even beyond the blatant reality that being the master of earth pulled out muscles that a dancer just didn’t have, it was the most irritating reminder of the time he had spent trying to meet his pa’s expectations by joining a quartet. It had been a while since that matter had been solved, there was no point into sulking over it. There were more important matters ahead.

His finger went to his collar. Sixth time. Great.

Was he the only one holding on instead of having fun? Again?

One impressively loud laugh shook his from his thoughts, and he didn’t have to look to recognize Jay, near their latest used-to-be-enemy-but-now-they’re-our-pal. Great, someone must have asked what happened during their adventure, there was no way Motor Mouth would have missed the opportunity to vent – as long as his obnoxiously talkative nature didn’t bring their new friend back to the evil path. Right next Zane was showing off his dancing skills, that familiar endearing view that probably involved his famous funny switch. Or not, that nindroid was lovable no matter what after all. From the resigned but fond smirk of Pixal, leaning against the wall not far while watching the robot making a spectacle of himself, he wasn’t the only one thinking that.

Lloyd had been kidnapped by a few reporters of the NGTV, although despite the awkward atmosphere he looked like he could handle himself – which wasn’t new, man that kid was indestructible. And even though he was confident that Nya was not the biggest fan of formal clothes just like himself, like the pro she was she knew exactly how to deal both with her dress and the people crowding around her. Besides, she deserved a bit of spotlight.

His friends were having fun, that made the master of earth happy unconditionally. Although he would have liked to share that light-heartedness, or simply being willing to let himself go for once. Well, they were doing fine, he could end this and finally go home by himse-

Wait. No. Something wasn’t right.

Where was that? Where was the crowd of people getting consistently louder and more insistent the closest they got to their red hero? Where was the never-ending flirty attitude that was almost a main characteristic of the master of fire? Where was the improvised meeting of the Kai fan club happening every single time they ended an adventure, like these screaming admirers had been silently waiting for the end to end just to see their diva?

A shiver caught him. Surprise? Confusion? Relief? Cole wasn’t quite sure, he just knew that there was no massive amount of chocolate hair nowhere in the ballroom. A pinch in his chest made his back straighten up. He took the slightest sip of his drink, grimacing at the taste.

Then, someone shouldered him. Wow, silent as a ninja. Then again, it wasn’t hard at this point recognizing his teammates without looking.

Especially someone as warm as him.

“Apologies my good sir, but it looks like we’re in quite the predicament over here.” Yep, he could see Kai’s smirk in the corner of his vision, moving up his mouth with that little dimple on the corner. “This is very clearly a party-fever, non-sulking area. You better correct your behavior, or I will be forced to take drastic measures.” Kai stuck out his tongue as he cracked his knuckles, despite himself Cole couldn’t help half a laugh.

Only half, because this guy could be very irritating when trying to push his reasons on others – the cow yak predicament between him and Jay was never going to be forgotten and was actually brought up again every once in a while. Only half… because there was something mesmerizing at seeing the reckless master of fire getting cleaned up in a classy and refined suit. White immaculate shirt. Perfectly stirred jacket. That little red bow over his neck, because if this guy didn’t like to show off that red was his color on every occasion then the Overlord was a good guy.

You could say a lot about the red ninja, really a lot.

Not having style? Not between that – of course his ego didn’t need to know this.

The black ninja huffed, catching himself before he let his eyes lingering on him for too long – thank you master Wu, poor unaware sensei probably didn’t know his meditation lesson were being used to hide a crush.

“Drastic measures as kick me out? Because first, I would like to see you try.” Kai was strong, but not earth strong, thank you very much. “And second, I can leave on my own, thank you.”

Another shoulder. Much quicker than the other.

“Nah huh, this is also a very restricted non-ditching area.” Now he was cornered. Which wasn’t much because it was only Kai and his mischievous look. Also it was Kai and his mischievous look. “You either have fun and enjoy yourself, or security will escort you to prison in a conga line.”

“Really?” The hothead dared to shrug, like this made-up nonsense was a fact and these ‘laws’ were beyond him. “You don’t have to be a bringer of justice here too, just leave me be a solitary public figure for five more minutes before leaving.” A little frown moved his scarred eyebrows, which looked a little too knowing for some reason. “Besides, don’t you have a fan club to return to? I’m not seeing brown wigs twice your head moving around, that’s worrying.” A third shove, this time the black ninja let out a proper laugh. The red ninja’s hair only got crazier and crazier since they met, and it was always funny.

Endearing, too… dang it feelings!

The master of fire crossed his arms over his chest, pouting yet smiling.

“I can have a party without getting assaulted by my fans, you know? Besides, it’s been a while since we had a proper celebration, I wanna be with my team for once.” It was surprising and also very not. Kai was that much of an egomaniac, he loved the attention; but he loved his family even more, and it was true that they didn’t get much time to enjoy simply be united – trying to survive a villain while experiencing discoveries and development didn’t count as a relaxing bonding experience.

Cole gave a look at the crowd. The others were all still there.

“I’ll give you that, should we call up the others then?”

“No no no, you don’t get out of the radar that easily!” Again with the grin, what was that dangerously pretty head of his plotting? He looked focused too, it was scary. “Cut loose, will ya? You always end up in the corner at these things, you could at least pretend like you wanna be here.”

The black ninja winced.

“Gosh, you sound like my dad.” He definitely didn’t want to think about his dad in front of his crush. “We’re not all social butterflies, okay? I’m fine being myself.”

“Oh that’s not it, you’re okay. You being you is amazing.” Was that flirtatious? Was that a random compliment? Dang it, Cole had known him for too long, he couldn’t tell the difference anymore! “But whenever we get to an event like this one you always look like you would rather go back fighting and it sucks. Not being much of a party person is fine, I just want you to have some fun that’s all.” Ah. There it was. Underneath the mocking, the arrogance and the flirts, was a guy that could fire up a group of ninja with the power alone of his blatantly sincere words. Being against the next reason Ninjago City needed to be rebuilt, or while trying to give a random party some meaning. “Besides, speaking of fans, I know you have some. You could improvise a convention too.” He gestured towards him with both hands, like he was presenting him for a talk show.

The master of earth grinned. His chest felt warm, as always. Curse this guy for being cute. Curse him for being here instead of somewhere else wowing some random guest, blessing him with his company. He was right about not being together enough. Cole did miss having peaceful times with his teammate… he had missed spending time with Kai.

But I’m told it’s where I’m supposed to be

You know what?

It’s kinda crazy coz I really don’t mind

When you make it better like that

He took another sip. Grimacing. He shook his head.

“My fan club is nowhere near as wide as yours.”

“It’s not a challenge you know… although if it was, we all know who would win…” The red ninja flexed his arm. The jacket moved accordingly, showing off results of a training that even without involving massive rocks looked still impressive.

Cole swallowed over a sudden dry throat, only to frown.

“Huh… Lloyd?”

Kai blinked and sulked down altogether.

“Lloyd indeed.” They looked at each other and laughed.

The previous song slowly faded, a new rhythm took over. To Cole’s relief, it was something less ballet-like and more vivacious, capturing a few couple and individuals into the ballroom to enjoy the music. Jay was showing off impressive dancing skills, although him coming out of nowhere with a new ability wasn’t unheard of – roller skating, skiing, how did he even have free time to learn where he would always invent and eat junk food? Nya wasn’t too far behind, crossing path with Zane and improvising something together, laughing all the way. Lloyd was about to shake his head with a snicker and step away, only to have Pixal push him in with a little grin.

It was so peaceful. Them having fun, enjoying themselves, doing something other than risking their own lives and protect the land. They were the moments the black ninja loved the most.

Kai was humming himself, smiling just as widely. Cole chuckled warmly.

“You look like a very proud father.”

The red ninja arched an eyebrow and smirked.

“Wouldn’t you like that, honey.” Oh dang it, was he for real?! Was that a flirt?! Was that a little blush or for the master of fire having red over him was as natural as igniting flames?? Was he going somewhere with this, help, abort, something, anything! “We should chime in and join Zane and Jay, make a reprise of the Blade Cup Tournament! I remember the choreography still, bet we could show it to Nya, Lloyd and Pixal too.” Alright, never mind, false alarm… possibly, again, it was confusing.

Cole took another sip. It possibly tasted worse at every try, he didn’t even know why he was holding the glass still. At least he looked refined… or something.

“No way, I’m not going through that again.”

“Oh come on, I thought you got over your dancing complex with the Triple Tiger Sashay.” Kai shrugged, looking at him right into the eyes. “You dance good too, it’s a waste.” Was he in vain of compliments today or he was silently mocking him through an elaborated plan?

… nah, he wasn’t one to make complicated plans. He was a pretty face, and an airhead.

Cole shrugged.

“I don’t mind dancing, not as much as I used to at least. I even like it nowadays.” Having a hobby besides saving Ninjago was kind of important to not completely lose it – and playing videogames became a little too competitive once Jay or Lloyd got in the zone. “But it’s a little too connected to what my dad used to expect me to be and sometimes I don’t wanna even brush that thought.” They were good now, of course they were. But they spent time apart because of it. It was still hard to think about it. “… I don’t like to think that it would’ve been easier to just bear and go on. It makes me wonder what I would have become in that case, through tedious dancing lessons and failures.” Wow, his insecurities were put under a test, and there was no menace in sight for once.

Urgh, nope, not tonight, not after the mess they had been forced to fix for their city. Tonight it was about feeling light, thoughtless and happy. He needed a joke, a mockery, something, and while their official jokester wasn’t available Kai was the next best thing.

Any moment now… any moment now…

… okay now he was deliberately teasing him with those pretty eyes of his. He looked even sappy now, their shoulders were touching. He was so warm.

“It’s… kind of a scary thought, you know. Thinking of a you in a reality in which we haven’t met.” He smiled, one enigmatic, slightly worried smile that Cole couldn’t remember to have seen before. “But master Wu would’ve found you anyway, right? I don’t want to think of a world where we don’t know each other.” Because he was a precious teammate of his. “That’s not right in my head, I kinda hate it really.” Because they were too close as friends to even conceive it. “I’m just happy to have the strong, kind, incredible Cole by my side for this life.” Because he… cared. Because Kai cared about all the people in his life, all the precious members of his family.

That included him. As a… as…

The master of fire was staring at him, lips pressed tight together, burning cheeks and glimmering eyes. His face radiated heat, beyond the temperature itself; it was like an image so hot it got blurry, yet the beauty of it was nitid and flawless.

Cole was mesmerized. Then he slowly took a step back from his condition, finding the energic music fading away around them, and the red ninja still froze with his eyes on him.

It made him smile.

Having his attention always made him smile.

“Oh my gosh, it’s Kai!!” Because it wasn’t for granted and it wasn’t as easy as it was, back when they had started their legend as the ninja team. Now they were celebrities, and having a group of fans jumping excitedly in front of the brunette was ordinary administration. “Kai! You’re so cool, thank you for saving us again! You are our favorite ninja, can we get a picture? And a photo? Possibly both, if you can!” There were a couple of girls, one guy and a kid jumping from one foot to the other. All looking at ease and confident with their dresses and manners, addressing one of the heroes of this island.

Huh. The party had started to get nicer a few minutes ago, now it was back at being dull. Awkward. Uneasy. Solitary. Once again the too tight suit became very vivid, especially around his arms and chest. Once again the music, that had gone back at being slow and classic, got at his nerves. Once again he was being a spectator, looking at the scene like it was airing on television.

Kai was smiling naturally, he was more than used at that kind of attention. But his eyes were quick at focusing on him, and another little frown moved his forehead.

“Thanks for the support guys, but I’m a little busy right now…”

Cole rolled his eyes. He hated pity, so much. It felt like a slap right now.

“No you’re not idiot, come on, show your fans some respect. They get to see you without the city falling apart for a change!” The group nodded eagerly, eyes brightening the room. The red ninja wasn’t looking at them, his eyes were fixed on his teammate and it was even more irritating. “I’ll be at the buffet if you need me, have fun.” He looked hurt. What right did he have to get hurt? From what even? The master of earth was the one casted aside, for a change!

He walked away from the scene, losing Kai’s voice between excited shouts and squeaks from the group. Like that was new, it was always the serious, uncharismatic, downer of the team the one getting less recognition. He had known that when he had met this band of crazy people that he had started to call family. He had known that when Lloyd had taken charge and lead them towards one victory after the other. He had known that when Nya had been called into action, showing off once and for all that she was the real deal. There was always someone before him, brighter, to capture the attention. Being a robot, being an inventor, being the most handsome guy in existence…

… and it was fine.

Cole wasn’t stupid not unrealistic. He knew who he was, he knew his skills and his pros. He knew there were many people cheering for him too, he knew that Ninjago City loved him. Having less focus didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do his best to give back that support. But moments like these made him feel like it was unfairly easy to be pushed away in favor of something better. This really wasn’t what he was used to. The party, the attention… him.

It wasn’t about the attention after all. It was about feeling inadequate. Unlike others, he wasn’t born for the attention. Others were ready to burn to catch everyone’s eyes through their beauty. Cole only wished the difference wasn’t always this upsetting.

The guests were walking around him as he passed through. He didn’t actually want to go back to the table, he had simply said the first thing that had come to his mind – with that one girl so close to Kai thinking had been very difficult. Then the police commissioner had called the attention upon the impressive cake that was being brought in by a carrier. Shaped like the monastery, with their faces on the base. Wasn’t he the absolute dessert lover that he was, he might have found the cake too cute to even attempt a bite. Then again he really was, which was no secret at all. The chief of the police department was more than happy to give him the first slice.

White chocolate and blueberries. He hated himself for being so irritated, he would have wanted to enjoy his cake without bothering images into his head. He knew it wasn’t that big of a deal. Whenever there was a party, his mind just liked to remind him how uncomfortable he felt. It was only a matter of waiting for it to be over. Then he could share a bag of candies with Lloyd, or pull some weights with Nya, or meditate with Zane, or train with Pixal, or destroy Jay at videogame. Or do anything, absolutely everything, that involved spending time with Kai.

Just for the sake of having him near… ah, dang it, feelings again!

He swallowed a bit harshly, all of the sudden he couldn’t have more. The slice was half eaten – yeah he liked to have that big of a first bite –, and even after spending the night munching over those little snacks that couldn’t contain more than one or two calories each. He felt full. He couldn’t even enjoy his dessert now, might as well leave before anyone noticed him. He had planned on leaving much earlier so it wasn’t a problem.

Cole looked down at that forsaken drink, arching an eyebrow. Maybe it was good with sweets? Maybe that was what made it good? He drank, grimaced and grunted. He moved to put the drink on the table once and for all.

A quick ninja hand snatched the glass. A second later it was emptied.

“Finally, you were driving me crazy with this thing!” Kai, smiley and innocent, almost knocked down another glass as he let the empty one fall over the table. “All night sipping and hating!”

The black ninja’s mind was empty. From nothingness, only one doubt emerged.

“… you’ve been watching me?”

Don’t think we fit in at this party

Everyone’s got so much to say

When we walked in I said “I’m sorry”

But now I think that we should stay

That wasn’t probably the question to ask, no matter how much the master of earth was stubborn over the idea that nothing was a big deal at the moment. Something like ‘what are you doing here’ would have sounded out of place though, and teasing directly about what happened to his fan club didn’t sound better. Besides, the handsome master of fire finished his drink putting those perfect lips right where Cole’s had been just a second ago, and the black ninja’s strategic leader brain that had many times got him out of a bad situation wasn’t working.

Or maybe it was? There were very few things that could really, actively melt his heart like this. The red ninja’s blush was one of them. It had to have something to do with his element, the reddening was absolute and total. Like watching a thermometer reaching the maximum.

“J-Just a little! One or two times!” Liar, Cole had been doing this sip and regret thing all evening. The thought alone was an injection of giddiness. “Not up for cake? That’s new.”

Oh. He felt a little more in vain for cake. Two bites later it was done.

“I was taking a breath.” It was easier with him around. Did he know that? “You’re done with the fans? That was quick.” Kai huffed with superiority, but the black ninja was no fool: he could see the girl from before sighing a little, like she didn’t get nearly as much red ninja as she had been expecting. “You didn’t have to leave them behind for me.” That came out exactly as badly as he thought it. Why did he say it anyway? Why was the master of fire this shocked and fearful? “Kai I’m not some special case that you have to take care of, you know that. You don’t have to hang around me just because.” Huh. It came out like that.

Huh. Kai looked one with his element, burning from his forehead to his neck, looking almost sunburned. Adorable. So adorable, even while Cole was waiting for whatever was going to come from this situation. Which was, beyond his expectations, the red ninja’s rough and long hand slowly reaching for his, holding it tight.

Warm, so warm, so unfairly warm.

“I… I hang out with you because I want to. I want you to have fun because I…” He swallowed, hardly, and it felt like a light was switched on in the black ninja’s mind. “… I like when you have fun. When you s-smile, too.” It was so different from the usual flirty attitude that this guy used. It would have sounded like a mockery to any other. “I like being where you are too, that’s all I need… I-I mean it!” But Cole knew this guy, he knew him too well not to know that flirting was a show.

This awkward, embarrassed, red gorgeous person was the real deal. One that came out only when the time was right, and the person was right.

Cole was right. He was… right?

“I… I don’t know what to say.” He really didn’t and it was the worst possible answer. But it was true. What did you say to someone you harbored feelings for that showed interest back towards you? Thanks? Same here? I love you?? It was true but it was out and everything felt unnecessary and uneasy again.

The hold tightened. Kai was still blushing, but he was smiling with that special energy into his eyes. The one that usually meant a very bad plan coming, or one heck of an idea.

“No need. Just come with me.” Not like he could resist him right now.

Right on cue the music had changed, slowing down. The master of earth had a suspicion the one holding his hand was behind this – not like bribing Dareth currently at the console was particularly hard, especially with a couple of Puffy Potstickers in hand. Then again, the one holding his hand was this handsome fella that was leading him towards the center of the ballroom, between fanciful people and a couple of eyes in awe at seeing their heroes there. It was easier to ignore the comparison, the feeling of inferiority, while feeling Kai’s fingers clenching around his palm, shaking firmly. It was cute. So very cute. Cole could barely see in front of himself between all these people, yet it felt like nothing was really shouldering him as he passed through.

There were lights above them. Were they always there? Cole didn’t notice before, which was silly since it was all dark outside. His head was lighter, he didn’t have control over his strength even if he had wanted to break free from that hold. He didn’t. Not when the red ninja had that familiar determination making his entire body tense. Not while he turned around, smirking.

Still blushing. Still holding his hand. The master of earth looked down. Two pairs of feet staring at each other. Memories of the dance lessons came flooding back.

He looked up. Those glimmering embers made it much better.

“You brought me here to dance?”

“Impeccable deduction, Rocky.”

“Do you even know how? Dancing in couple is not the same as in a group, and we both know you have awful balance.” It was the only thing that made him regret throwing the battle against Jay back at the tournament of elements: losing the possibility of seeing this klutz making a fool of himself on roller skates. Confident Kai? Goofy and charming. Energic Kai? Attractive and brave. Angry Kai? Literally hot. But man, clumsy, adorably unsteady Kai? A wholesome force strong enough to break every single mountain he had ever climbed in his life.

The master of fire huffed with superiority, which was already promising. Around them a few couples were getting together, slowly moving with the rhythm.

“Please, I defeat evil lurking behind our backs on regular basis. I can handle a dance.” His eyes went down on his feet, while he unsurely grabbed his other hand. “You just gotta work with me, first you move the left… right… no left, left!” Left went right over his partner’s foot, and it was gone right away ironically almost as it got burned. “D-Don’t laugh, I got this!” Screw everything, the master of earth was very glad Ninjago had been in peril just to arrive at this specific moment.

Ah, but he was the responsible one, wasn’t he? Snickering right in front of the brunette’s face while he was doing his dang best at not stomping onto his feet would have not been very mature.

… continuously at least, he could take one giggle.

No one could call one giggle immature. Or two.

“I can hear my father’s pleas from here.”

“Shut up, I’m getting there! Right foot, sorry, then left…” Wow, it was almost impressive considering Cole had managed to see him before almost gracefully practicing spinjitzu with them. Then again, it was so like him it hurt. “There there’s the… huh… casket?” Oh dear, he meant the casque? Yep, definitely good pa wasn’t here. The black ninja almost blacked out he was laughing so much – pun not intended –, wiping away a single tear. Then he looked up, embers were staring. So focused and bright they were too much to look at. Kai grinned. “At least your smile is back.” The softest curve ever.

It was impossible not to look at it. It was baffling how many people were attracted to the master of fire solely for appearance and superficial charm. Yet this part, this tender side of him was the most lovely part. The most hidden too, reserved only to those who got close enough to the fire to get burned, without regretting a single moment.

Cole giggled again, stepping forward. Automatically he took charge, assuming the position that had been sculptured into his mind by years of dance lessons. Kai’s hand was still shaking as he took it, his eyes were trembling too. It made the black ninja smile more.

“It’s easy to smile when I’m with you.” Another incredible thing about this guy, it made all the people around him more confident. Stronger. Him included.

Kai gaped. He stuttered, looking down, up, at him and not.

Then he sighed, whining weakly.

“I was trying to properly confess, Boulder Brain.” It would have been such a shameless, anticlimactic moment for anyone. Gosh if it hadn’t dissolved all the anxious anticipation the black ninja had. “Why did you have to one up me right now?” Maybe it wasn’t only Kai that made him feel this at ease, maybe it wasn’t only them knowing each other so well. Maybe there really was one and only, for life, and the master of earth knew it by instinct.

A pretty good instinct too.

Cole grinned, stepping closer because dang if this didn’t feel immensely good.

“Force of habit, you’re just that slow.” Dang if this easiness between them wasn’t the most comfortable feeling he had ever felt. “You should really put your mind into training a little more, prove that you can keep up with me, Fireball.”

Music was changing, people were moving, the party was continuing and neither of them was looking anymore. Who cared anyway? What was important right now?

Warmth was.

Kai’s hand on his cheek was. Kai’s softened eyes on him were.

“I can do that. You know I never quit in front of a challenge.” One blink of an eye later, their noses were brushing. Another blink, their breaths were caressing each other’s lips. One last, the master of fire turned that kind of serious. The one that put everything on the table, because he considered a moment that important. “… I hate when you ditch a party.” Cole held together a little gulp. “And it’s not about you not being a party person, or wanting you to have fun, or even for you to get the credit you deserve. It is in part, but it’s not all.” He smiled, his thumb tracing gently his cheek, so very careful with him. Him, the lifter of their team. Him, the mighty master of earth. Him, the one that could manifest an earthquake with a punch. “It’s just that I miss you every time. You make everything better for me… I want to be with you as much as I can.”

It was never about that after all. It was never about who he was or what he represented, for either of them. It was just about two guys, two friends that had been lucky enough to get closer to each other reciprocally. In comparison to this, everything felt so meaningless.

The room was empty, the music was gone. It was just them.

Cole closed his eyes.

“You could convince me that parties are cool, you know. Then I won’t ditch anymore.” His closeness, his heat, his presence. The black ninja wanted to take in everything about this moment and never letting go. “I feel like I’m on the right path right now…” Wow, they weren’t even together yet and his flirty tendencies were already rubbing on him. Was he really that gone already for not minding it one bit?

Ah, who cared, Kai was so close he could hear him swallow. His thumb was still shivering, and it made his heart flutter. Then he laughed, low and sincere.

“Let’s see if I can be convincing.” He whispered.

Kissing the red ninja was exactly how he had imagined. It was warm, a little clumsy, so very sincere and vigorous. It reflected how he moved, how he acted, how he fought, how he protected. Yet it was nothing like he thought. It was so sweet it made his eyes pinch, it was delicate and even a little uncertain. It was him on the inside, the him that didn’t always want to make an impression, the him that had so much love to give to his most precious ones. It was him. In every possible way, it was him.

Cole smiled, kissing back, holding onto him as he was held back.

He liked parties. And he loved Kai.

‘Cause I don’t care when I’m with my baby, yeah

All the bad things disappear

And you’re making me feel like maybe I am somebody

I can deal with the bad nights

When I’m with my baby

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #kai smith #cole brookstone #cole bucket #lava #lavashipping #ninjago valentine exchange #nightlybirdie

28 notes · View notes

taglegend · 3 years

Photo

Tag Fact #3 - I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her.

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.

#tag facts #influences from cartoons #likes and dislikes #thoughts i have about characters #toons #rayman #sonic the hedgehog #gorillaz #waluigi #turbo #wreck it ralph #undertale #cuphead

21 notes · View notes

thesharondefenseleague · 3 years

Note

Ok for like the fetishization/sexualization for mlm in fandom I swear people just missed the point entirely. Like no one is out here complaining that Thor is sexualized in Ragnarok while people do complain about Natasha being sexualized because women being sexualized and fetishsized is the norm it is the default.

We are so conditioned to see images like that with women that sometimes it takes a man depicted in the same way ( like with the Hawkeye initiative) to see how over the top it is.

The problem isnt there are images in existence somewhere of sexualized women its that its the default regardless of who the intended audience is or what the context is. To the point where a women not being sexualized and fetishsized is a refreshing rare take. Men in general don't have this problem. They aren't usually sexualized by default so them being sexualized once in some movie isnt the same as women being sexualized constantly.

So the problem with fanfic and fanart was that this one type of medium where mlm weren't the minority where there was alot of content in many fandoms and where it was the popular content, was also the media where mlm being sexualized was becoming the default. Not that there were sexualized mlm sometimes for certain types of stories or art ( like erotica) but that it was becoming basically the default. Now I will say this stood out more for mlm specifically because men regardless of sexual orientation weren't sexualized by default in non fandom content.

Consider how canon mlm romances or moments were depicted compared to canon wlw romances and moments. So imo we noticed far more and called out alot more fetishization of mlm in fandom than wlw. Because we were so used to the sexualization of women it stood out less.

But still it was good mlm being sexualized didn't become the default in fandom. However the take away seems to have somehow become any mlm or wlw chatacter being sexual and being depicted as sexual is immediately problematic. But that scrutiny is never directed nearly as much towards m/w couples.

And tbh thats true for literally any thing in shipping in fandom mlm and wlw relationships that can be considered problematic on any level are scrutinized so much more than their mlw counterparts unless of course the mlw ship includes someone bipoc.

I remember like 5-7 years ago when misogyny was being called out in fandom especially in shipping culture was becoming more of a thing and I always had to side eye how people so often only used examples of a straight white couple being unpopular as the example. And it was always the straight white couple being unpopular that seemed to get people to call misogyny while couples including bipoc and/or wlw never got that same energy.

Even the few people who actually gave a shit bout sexism and didnt just want to make it problematic to like ships more popular than their otp cared mostly about the depictions of ships between a white guy and white girl in fandom. They spent little to no energy and woc or wlw.

And now it just seems white m/w ships are the easiest and least drama filled things to ship ( by comparison to mlm or wlw ships) unless its so unpopular that its irrelevant or still very new. I don't think thats a coincidence.

You make a lot of great points about how people are sexualized in media and how the fans react/run with what they see.

(Gonna put the rest under the cut since it's long on both sides)

I will say comic books, their movies, and their shows are one of the few places where men are as equally sexualized as women, on top of the intense pressure put on male actors' bodies to have these scenes, though for them the fantasy is intended for male audiences to see and go don't you wish you had a body like theirs unlike for them to see an actress' body with her intense regime and think don't you wish you had them for yourself. The comparison between how a character is drawn in comics and their actor being unable to achieve that extremely unrealistic body is humanizing to the characters. Think that example that comes by your dash now and then of Jackman in male-targeted magazines versus Jackman in female-targeted magazines, and how you can see that reflected in fandom spaces. Since fandoms are often majority women, a lot of modern m/m ships are wanting the softer side of guys based on how they treat each other, and many m/f canon ships are written with little thought past "man kisses woman during/after big battle". I think this is why a lot of audiences when they pick a favorite m/f ship out of Marvel films, it happens to be Steve with Natasha or Wanda with Vision, where they develop a proper relationship beyond if they kiss around a battle.

And we are moving out of the "mlm in film are heavily sexualized" time of media. It's hard to pinpoint when it started, but it's been moving away from it for years. Would like to note that I think this has more to do with mlm films are not always being slapped with the R rating as they used to. Harder for wlw where sexualized women are still considered more taboo, or even straight films with female sexuality shown with her enjoying it.

However I will say there is still a heavy layer of misogyny in fandom towards women if there are any m/f pairings. Remember how people said people tolerated Steve with Peggy because she was considered his past? And then when they were the final couple, people turned on that ship and in turn those shippers? And I've seen people jump through hoops to prove that any woman Bucky flirts with has to be a lesbian so that the ship gets shot down in canon in their own minds because they are afraid of canon validating a ship that interrupts their own. Plus the posts of him needing to be possessive over Sam because Sharon checked him out in episodes 3 and 6, even though this is the only character to have shown any kind of interest in Sam and he never even reciprocated? Fandom misogyny isn't as strong as it might have been, say, five years ago, but it's still heavy in mlm shipping culture.

~Mod R

4 notes · View notes

lumilasi · 3 years

Note

Hey battle of bands au anon here! Thank you sooo much for the advice , I've decided to choose all might because I dont want my fic to be too angsty or plot heavy. I also realised afo can be a very complex character to write and I dont think I can pull that off in my first fic. Also I love the approach you're taking on AFO in stringmaster , it is currently one of my favs!

I haven't read all your fics (yet) but as far as I have read I dont think endeavor has had a major role in any of your fics but if you have any advice on his characterisation then I'd love that. I want this fic to be more fluffy with just a little angst so I dont want to make endeavor as horrible as canon. He's still obsessed with his children (shoto and dabi) being number 1 but I guess not as horrible to his family. Basically I'm stuck at a scene where endeavor has to react to dabi being ranked 2nd in a pleasantly surprising way but not completely out of character. Idk if that made any sense or not I feel like I'm having trouble putting things into words.

Anyways thanks for the advice and if you have any regarding this scene pls help a girl out lol

Ha ha, glad to hear it helped out! And yeah, he can be, hell I’d say Tomura can also be very tricky to write given his complexity. But def. AFO is up there as well.

Stringmaster AFO is fun (and challenging) to write, because it’s this...weird contradiction, where he does understand emotions and how humans work in theory, but lacks the ability to sort instinctively realize these things himself. Basically meaning he both gets and doesn’t get it.

Almost everything needs to be conscious choices to him for the most part, rather than just knowing how to react in situations where empathy is needed.

But enough about that!

Yeah, I don’t use Endeavor a whole lot in my fics other than being the bad father he is in canon, because...tbh I find his character pretty boring? Like his most interesting parts are basically plot device stuff to have an impact/act as motivation for more important/interesting characters. (I.E Dabi and Shoto) Without those he’s just...kinda generic prideful grumpy guy? He just doesn’t really stand out to me from any other hero outside the bad parenting.

It probably bothers me more/is more noticeable than it would with other mangas I’ve read, because he gets contrasted against well-written and complex characters like many of the villains, or if I have to pick a hero example, Aizawa and Toshinori.

(To be fair, I have this issue with a lot of the hero side characters, they feel really underdeveloped/one-dimensional to me a lot of times. I get you can’t flesh out every single one of your hundreds of characters properly, but sometimes even more central focused hero characters feel underdeveloped to me, IDK)

....I better cut this rant short and get back on topic about the actual question haha

I feel like I’d probably need more context of what is going on to give proper useful tips, but the first thing that comes to mind would probably be him doing kind of a backhanded compliment or so, where he expresses that Dabi did good job but also still make him feel like it’s not enough? IDK how to demonstrate that exactly tho.

I think the best example I can offer is Stringmaster AFO, now that he was brought up? Like the birth of Mon-chan comic I made, (here in case you dunno what I’m talking about) where he compliments Tomura about his achievement, but then casually tells him he could scrap it and try again because it wasn’t perfect. In his mind he was stating a fact, but it comes off pretty cold, especially to a kid who’s looking for his approval.

Something along those lines could work with Endeavor too, though obviously his delivery would have to be more exaggerated and aggressive, because he’s not suave/well-mannered (or lessay pretentious) like AFO lmao

Also I think to make it feel in character someone would probably have to point out to him that he needs to be more encouraging and supportive, because a prideful dude like him’s gonna struggle being able to figure it out himself. So it’d be like “good comment, bad comment, gets scolded and tags on another good comment clumsily” or something.

IDK if any of that helps, but I tried at least. Either way I’m looking forward to reading your fic someday if you manage to write it. Who knows, maybe you’ll get some fanart for it too C;

#answered ask #answered anon #writing advice #or it tries to be anyway

5 notes · View notes

alipeeps · 3 years

Text

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)!

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped!

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine.

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy, @arlothia, @howdydowdy, @thepromiseweheldforlife and @the-wandering-whumper!

#meme #fandom #crushes

10 notes · View notes

erin-epica · 4 years

Text

Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

#unikitty #unikitty!#master frown #brock #lord Scarlet #brook #vic #vicslayer #scream queen savage #Victoria #update #amino

23 notes · View notes

withoutaconscienceorafilter · 4 years

Note

UNEXPECTED VISITOR 👀👀

WIP -- UNEXPECTED VISITOR(S)

This is supposed to be during Cable & X-Force, because that has both de-powered Nate with pre-cog visions that are slowly turning his brains to jelly and Hope chasing after her dad, but no sign of Wade and that made me sad. :( And there’s this fanart by aortdn on Tumblr somewhere with Nate sprawled on Wade’s couch with his head in Wade’s lap and Wade’s holding a gun with this absolutely mystified expression......

Also, I hate how most comics writers make Nate really mean to Wade. :C

Oh yes, this was written before it became canon that Hope is vehemently opposed to Wade. ;P Stupid canon.

A lot of my WIP ideas like this get abandoned because I decide I’m being overly dramatic and I feel a little ridiculous. Plus they end up full of plot holes. So this is something I wrote myself in a spurt of romanticism and never bothered to move out of the WIP directory. Mindless self-indulgence.

If you think I should go ahead and post this snippet on ao3, leave a comment. Otherwise it’s probably going to just live here and nowhere else.

Nate, Wade, Hope, hurt/comfort, angst, incomplete, probably not entirely canon compliant

~~~~

Some nights start off like all the others, until one thing changes.

Wade Wilson is watching television in t-shirt, boxers, and bunny slippers from one end of his dirty, stabbed-in-places, shot-in-other-places couch. When there’s a soft knock at the door, that’s surprising. When whoever knocks just goes ahead and turns the handle a second later, like he or she has the right to just waltz on in, that’s even more surprising.

Wade isn’t used to anyone visiting his hellhole of an apartment. Visiting him. At least, he doesn’t think he is.

Except maybe Bob, but he doesn’t count.

Especially not visiting and letting themselves in.

So when Cable walks through the door, Wade’s got a gun aimed right between his eyes.

“Hello, Wade.” It sounds tired. Resigned. And of course not the least bit intimidated, because his time-traveling best whatever-the-hell-he-is certainly is never intimidated by Wade. Unclear if that’s comforting to his soul or insulting to his ego.

Reflex keeps the gun trained on Nate while Wade’s brain is struggling to catch up, finally flicks on the safety and shoves it back down the couch cushions after watching Nate close and lock the door and start carefully setting down his larger guns.

“Staying for a bit?” he asks with attempted nonchalance.

“For a couple hours, if you’ll let me.”

He looks tired. He looks different. New: mechanical right eye, working left eye. Gone: techno-organic mesh. New: actual flesh left arm and some sort of mecha robotic prosthetic surrounding it.

Still huge and muscled. Still scars over his right eye. Still all grizzled and old, military, GI-Joe look. His hair is really short this time--Wade misses the slightly longer Nate hair. Better for the running-fingers-through-it stuff.

Wade just watches, brain still trying to catch up, as Nate does something up by his left shoulder and suddenly Mr. Robot Arm opens up, slides off and gets unceremoniously tossed by the guns.

“Why?” It comes out a little too forceful, and it doesn’t say all the why are you here? and why me? and why now? explicitly, but they’re there all the same.

Nate just shakes his head and that might have been the ghost of a sigh. The couch shakes when he drops onto it. For a moment he’s not quite looking at Wade but everything about the tension and line of his body says all his attention is on him.

“Can I … lie down?”

“Lie … what?” Wade has no clue what’s going on. “I mean, sure, there’s a bed--”

But before he can get further, Nate just gives a quiet little sigh and a shake of his head, and he’s turning and slinging his legs around over the arm of the couch and lying down along the length of it, settling his head in Wade’s lap with a tired grunt.

“Jesus Christ, Nate! Are you dying?!” Because honestly, he can’t think of anything else that would make big tough mutant savior do this.

Nate’s eyes close and he turns his head toward Wade’s stomach, shifting in the little ways someone does when they’re getting comfortable.

“Maybe,” is the rumbled answer. “Telepathy and telekinesis crapping out. Precog visions. Tearing my head apart. I just want a couple hours where I can pretend everything’s fine.” Unspoken: everything between us is fine and I’m going to be fine and I’m not dying ... again. And then, before Wade can call him any of that unspoken stuff, “Hold on.” He taps a headset in one ear. “Cable to base. … Yes, I’m fine, just taking a couple of hours to sleep. … No, extraction unnecessary. … I’m …” Now he sounds aggravated. ”Hope, I’m fine. None of my visions are happening in the next 8 hours, so let me sleep before I drop dead. … You keep telling me to trust my team, so that’s what I’m trying to do. Keep watch, deal with any shit that comes up, and don’t screw up! Cable out.”

He taps the headset again, then pulls it off and throws it in the general direction of his guns and arm.

“Hope?” Wade tries to keep his voice neutral. “She’s working with you?”

“Yeah.” Nate’s got his eyes closed again, head turned toward Wade. “She battered her way in, wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“How old is she again?”

A sigh. “Sixteen.”

Wade feels it all over again like it was the first time he heard it, like someone punched him in the gut, punched the breath right out of him. Fists clench. Anger rising. It’s long seconds before he can find the voice to speak.

“I hate time travel. I still can’t believe you ran around without me for sixteen years.”

Because, seriously? Sixteen years. Sixteen years of being chased, shot at, shot up, getting blown up, getting older and grumpier, doing who knows what in bed with who knows who, raising a kid, and all without him? Without giving him anything aside from a quick stopover in Alaska to say see you later? Not dropping by for a proper reunion when he got back? And yet having the gall to walk into his apartment and flop in his lap like they’d just seen each other last week?

“It wasn’t quite that long. We got separated along the way.”

“Still a hell of a long time!”

“I know,” said softly. “You deserve better.” Then, “I’m tired.”

“Dammit, Nate.” Wade lets his head fall back, staring at the ceiling. Because he is not going to get emotional. And his eyes are totally not springing a leak right now. Instead of saying anything else, he settles for lightly running a hand through Nate’s hair over and over, feeling the fuzz and prickle of it, the occasional ridge of a hidden scar on his scalp.

Nate sighs, a long, quiet thing as if tension is flowing out of him, and wraps an arm around Wade’s back, then stills.

Wade keeps letting his fingers ghost over Nate’s hair, and when he finally has it together enough to look down, Nate’s lips are slightly parted and he’s pretty obviously asleep. Chest and stomach rising and falling slowly and regularly.

Wade frowns. Nate must be exhausted to fall asleep that fast.

This universe fucking sucks, running Nate around like this, chasing him into other times for something like a decade and a half. Wade doesn’t want to think about it anymore, so he picks up the remote and resumes channel surfing, other hand still gently resting on Nate’s hair.

He does turn down the sound. If Nate needs to pass out like this, Wade doesn’t want him disturbed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wade isn’t used to anyone visiting his hellhole of an apartment.

He certainly isn’t used to two visitors in one night.

He’s nodded off in the earliness of pre-dawn, head propped on a hand on the back of the couch, dozing in place so Nate can keep sleeping. Who cares if his leg is asleep. If it falls off--can legs fall off from going to sleep for too long?--he’ll just grow a new one anyway.

And then the door knob rattles quietly. Just the little sound of someone testing it to see if it’s locked.

Wade is instantly awake and pulling the handgun out of the couch for the second time. There’s a long pause and then the lock glows blue and twists on the inside, unlocking with a click. The handle twists and the door is pushed open a couple inches.

“Step in where I can see you,” he growls quietly. “Hands come through first and stay up the whole time. Or I’m going to shoot a hell of a lot of holes in my door and send you the bill.”

There’s a long pause, then a pair of slender hands, gloved in green poke through, fingers wiggle as if to say see, no weapons and then a head pokes around the door. Red hair. Green eyes.

“Oh fucking hell,” Wade swears, flicks on the safety, and savagely shoves the gun back down into its hiding spot. Again.

The green eyes blink in surprise and then their owner sidles through the door, pushing it quietly closed behind her. She’s dressed in the usual skin tight superhero outfit, except with a Nate-worthy big gun strapped to her back. Eyes wide, just staring.

Hope. He doesn’t know her very well. Barely at all. That hurts too, that Nate hadn’t bothered to get them together, to have him properly meet his adopted daughter.

“Whaaaaat?” Wade asks defensively. Quietly and defensively. Quietly because don’t wake Nate. And defensively because so what if he has multiple hundred pounds of X-Force leader stretched across his couch and lap? Manly, brawny, probably never-admits-weakness-in-front-of-his-kid leader?

“Sorry, I didn’t know what was-- I borrowed some of his powers to get-- I could feel him but I couldn’t read you--”

“Yeah, telepaths have trouble with me.”

“Is he okay?” she breathes, edging closer, and the ridiculousness of it all almost makes him laugh, that they both figure Cable has to be damn near done for before he does this sort of thing and sleeps through a conversation about him happening right next to him.

Wade shrugs. “I asked him if he was dying. He said maybe.”

And there. That’s definitely a kid Cable raised. Because the flash of guilt quickly covered up and the squaring of the shoulders, taking responsibility for and internalizing problems and failures, that’s all Nate.

She nods, and now she’s looking him over more carefully, scrutiny from head to toe, gaze lingering on his face as if she really wishes she knew what he was thinking. Wade really wishes he had his mask, but it’s across the room and he’s sure as hell not going to ask her to hand it to him.

“Who are you?”

Wade hates being trapped in one place like this, so he pulls the gun back out and starts twirling it around a finger. Most people don’t fidget with guns, but then mostly people aren’t him. She almost doesn’t twitch a hand toward her gun in response.

“Wade Wilson. Your dad and I were kinda sorta best buds back when he was building a floating island utopia.” She just looks at him blankly. “Also known as Deadpool?” And now her eyes get really wide.

“I do know you,” she says cautiously. “A future you saved me from Stryfe.”

“Oh. Do I? Good for future-me. Did Nate see it? ‘Cause it’s always nice when he realizes I have a good side.”

“He … uh. Yes. He also told me not to trust you. And worse.” She gives sleeping Nate a hard look tinged with disbelief, as if to say, you hypocrite.

Wade gently sets down the gun before he shoots something or someone. Hunches forward a little because he really doesn’t need her seeing the hurt he’s sure is all over his face. “Nate,” he says softly toward the man in his lap, “you suck.”

That appears to actually get through, because Nate frowns, makes a frustrated grumbling sound. His eyes squeeze tight as a tremor of clenching and unclenching muscles runs through him, a morning stretch. His arm tightens around Wade and pulls him closer, forehead resting on stomach.

“Hey, Nate.” Wade pokes him in the shoulder. “You might want to wake up. Your girl’s here.”

Nate makes an unhappy noise along the lines of “nnnngg”, but rolls and sits up, blinking blearily at Wade’s second unwelcome visitor. “Hope. What the hell are you doing here?”

Hope gets a stubborn look on her face. “You weren’t answering your com.”

“I was asleep.”

“You still weren’t answering. You always answer, even if you’re catnapping.”

A groan, rubbing a hand over his face. “I wasn’t catnapping. Wanted to really sleep for once.”

The curiosity and disbelief are almost palpable, rolling off her. “Why here? You told me Deadpool couldn’t be trusted! You told X-Force to ‘gut him and dump him!’”

That causes double flinches for very different reasons, and Nate glances guiltily sideways at the other man on the couch.

“Yeah, Nate,” Wade says with deceptively calm. “That's even meaner than usual. What’s up with that when Hope was telling me this future-me saved her ass?”

“Wade, you couldn’t be trusted,” and he sounds deeply pained. “How many times have you backstabbed me? Tried to kill me? Lost your mind or your memories so bad who knows if you’d even remember what side you’re on? It… you… he was roughly a thousand years in the future. Not just crazy. Mad. Falling apart, healing factor running out, a dead man walking. Working for Stryfe. Lost.”

It hurts. He’s only looking at his clenched fists when he says, “I never backstabbed you in a way you couldn’t recover from, Mr. Hypocrite Who Exploded My Head Multiple Times. I haven’t tried to kill you in years, aside from being brainwashed, but that wasn’t really me trying to kill you. And...” He swallows, wishes he had something smartass and irrelevant to say instead. Finally looks Nate in the face long enough to say, “I don’t care what I remember or how crazy I am. I’m always on your side.”

Nate drops his head, folds his hands over the back of his head, elbows on his knees. Not looking at either of them, blocking them out. Hope is hovering, looking unsure if she should get further away or come closer to comfort her dad. Wade is just watching--what he just said was as exhausting as an entire fight. Nate’s shoulders shake with the slightest tremor, but his voice is steady.

“Wade, I can’t trust you. I’m sorry. I can’t trust anyone. Maybe Hope. It never goes right. Plans, intentions, it all leads to weaknesses. I can’t even trust myself.”

“Nate.” He puts out a hand, very carefully settles it on a shoulder. Because he’s pretty damn mad at Nate right now, but it’s also obvious Nate’s got some messed up head stuff going on here. “Listen to yourself. When the hell did you get so lost? You used to trust people. Irene. Gareb. Forge. Prestor John. Johann. Maybe you didn’t tell them everything, but you were a team. Six Pack and X-Force before that. I think you even trusted me, until I screwed up and you kicked me off the island. For god’s sake, you cared about other people enough that you burned your powers out fixing my screwed up, useless head! How’d you get from that to this?”

“This?” It sounds hollow.

“Mean and untrusting.”

“Wait, what?” That’s Hope. Wade flinches again. He’d almost forgotten she was there. “What do you mean, burned himself out?”

Wade glares at her, taps the side of his forehead. “My brain’s a mess. Between cancer, my head getting constantly stabbed and shot, and my healing factor, it ends up as ugly on the inside as the outside of me. Last time I was actually sane and able to remember everything was because your dad went inside my head and fixed it. He could have stayed an omega-level telepath and telekinetic again, but instead he wasted it on me. And it didn’t even stick.” And that totally was not almost a sob, Wade is denying it forever if anyone asks.

Hope stares at him, then her dad. “Is he telling the truth?!”

“Yes.” Nate’s still hunched over, not looking at either of them. “He’d just saved my life. Twice. He had holes in his mind.”

“I told you to walk away!” Wade snarls, hand on Nate’s shoulder clenching.

“Like hell,” Nate snaps back, starting to straighten.

Hope just stares at them, like they’re the world’s biggest idiots and confusing her by being unable to see to what’s obvious.

“Dad, if you care that much but you can’t trust him when he’s broken, why don’t we just fix him again?”

9 notes · View notes

mcrmadness · 3 years

Text

Rambling about my (dä fan)art...

I was writing another post and this kinda got out of hand and turned into me talking about my art overall. I’m gonna put this under the cut because I don’t know if people are interested in my art nor especially in my thought about it and my “art history” basically, but if you are, then I hope you enjoy.

And yes, this is gonna be about my die ärzte fanart mainly!

So let’s start with the HELL coverart drawing because that’s what I was talking about originally:

I’m extremely happy with how the drawing turned out in the end and I like that feeling of success when I’m happy with something I have created. That is not always self-evident with myself. More than often I have plain hated my drawings or have felt like there should be something done differently, or something that I could always improve at and do better. So this feeling where I’m actually content and happy with what I have created is something new and different. I have a dopamine rush every time I look at that drawing. I like the drawing. I think it looks nice. And I’m extremely happy about this fact and I am not afraid of admitting it. Perfectionism is a curse and a gift. It can sometimes make your life a living hell when something that is perfectly good still feels like it’s not enough. When everyone else sees that what you have done is actually good or even great but your brain just keeps repeating how it’s shit and everyone else is just delusional and that they don’t see what you see. And this is like the polar opposite of that feeling. It wasn’t other people who were delusional, it was you and youself all along. You were the one seeing the image in your head and the drawing not matching that image. Other people saw only what you had created and couldn’t compare it to anything. And that doesn’t mean it was never good.

So whenever I do these comics and comic style drawings nowadays, I just feel so happy. I feel that I am no longer failing them, I feel like I can draw the image I see in my head. I finally feel like I can draw, I have some skills, I’m not a professional and maybe not as good as everyone else but I’m good at what I’m doing. This is my thing and I’m good at it and it’s enough. And I love it when I feel like I’m improving. For years I felt like I was stuck, like my skills would have been glitching somehow, I didn’t get better no matter how much I drew. But I guess I tried too much and was too harsh on myself because I believed that a drawing is good only when no reference photos have been used. And I sucked at drawing without them. I still do! I was staring at the Hell coverart the whole time I was drawing! I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t! And this feels particularly good also because this is the first time I have tried something different with these comics. I have never tried to draw a photo or existing picture with this style. I have only drawn my comics and those I have created all by myself. The clothes come from what I have seen in videos and photos but the plots are created by me alone, with a idea coming from somewhere actual usually, as inspirations do.

For comics I do look at reference photos of people sitting or standing, or I look at the mirror, or even take photos of my own hand to be able to draw something. And that’s lots of fun and also challenging because I’m mixing there my old habit of portrait drawing with my less serious comic book style but I really really do like the combination. It also makes me feel that I am memorizing what I draw and the next time when I need to draw that same posture, I no longer need the reference photos because they’re no in my brain. And in my muscle memory. My hand remembers how to do the lines now.

Here you can see one of the sketches I did in 2018 - I had this image in my head and I wanted to draw it and I just... drew it in my sketchbook. Didn’t use pencil. But now I’ve noticed I like doing these on proper paper instead of the sketchbook AND it’s so much more fun to first draw the sketch with the pencil and then draw on it with the fineliners. That I have always done with the comics (apart from one) because they take more time than these quick sketches. But here you can see Farin’s legs on the first image - I think I might have looked at reference photos for that but then it was so much easier to do the to the comic I made in 2019.

I have now also figured out that a big part of my style is not to draw just simple straight lines. I like making those sketch-like lines even with the marker. They look more rough but that’s something I like seeing with my art. That’s what I was missing when I was staring at the lines I had drawn before and hated every detail of them. They were too clean and neat.

^These two I have also drawn on my sketchbook in 2018 and I don’t really know why. I guess I was still a bit stupid and didn’t really realize I’m drawing again. But anyway, they both were inspired by my own fanfiction I have written a long time ago. It’s one of my favorite self-written fanfics and it had these two scenes I just saw in my head and felt like I could try drawing them. Maybe that’s why they are in my sketchbook, I wasn’t sure if they were going to turn out even good... The marker around the second one obviously was shit and the paper wasn’t good for it, and I never finished with it so it looks a bit weird. Do I need to say that I really enjoy drawing very small, repetative details, like those tiles? It’s so soothing, almost like a therapy.

I think that quitting antidepressants in 2013 has done so much good for my creativity. If you compare my work from 2011 to 2019, the difference is huge - all are just parts from my comics:

Can you guess see the difference? But have to admit I am jealous for myself for how I have drawn Farin’s hair to the 2011 one and maybe have forgotten to color Farin’s arm but... I actually had so long pause from drwing (~8 years) that I forgot how I did that and had to use THAT as a reference when I was trying to draw late 80s Farin’s at some point last or this year :D

Anyway, my style with the shadows is a little different when I use colored pencils than when I use markers. This is from my latest comic from this year, where I experimented with Promarkers the way I had never done before and I really like how it came to be:

I have owned this set of Promarkers (black + 5 greys) for years and have never really used them, apart from the black which I usually used for the thick lines anyway. And wanted to see if I could find some use for the greys too! (Yes that’s Bela back there - this comic was an alternative ending for Für Immer music video :D)

And I wanna end this post with a face progress comparison for all three. During this I also noticed that before I used to draw their side profiles and it was really difficult to find images where I’d have drawn from from the front. And nowadays I have mainly drawn them from the front and it’s hard to find side profiles! Interesting! Here’s one of Farin and Bela from a drawing I made this year:

Also the hand that was so much fun to draw but I also took photos of my own hand in that posture in order to even draw that - that was fun! :D

But here are the last three images - using the HELL one as the last for each, of course:

Bela has always been the easiest to draw. And the first one of these three is actually from my first ever Bela&Farin comic! I didn’t color their skin back then. With the next ones I already did color their skins too but I used darker colors to do the shadows. Nowadays I do the shadows with fineliners. Or it depends - that 2019 one doesn’t have that lol.

Damn it was so difficult to find something where I’d have draw Farin from the front :D And I see the HELL one literally is my second (or third) time drawing Farin with his grin. Or if you count all those numerous extra mouths I drew because I failed the first one, then I have drawn his grin at least 15 times by now. I probably can draw his teeth with no reference photos from now on.

I haven’t drawn Rod too many times. I can actually count about... 5 times? And then there’s only 2 times when I’ve drawn his side profile but he’s at the background. I don’t know if I’ve ever really succeeded at that, I usually try to draw his head a more round and his eyes smaller than for Bela and Farin and I was actually bit worried for the HELL one and was wondering if I’m going to ruin the whole thing. But in fact, that was actually easiest of them to draw. And STILL I’m surprised by how alike he looks in that last one. In fact, I think his dacial features are perfect for a carricature drawing so you don’t need to do more than a few lines for the mouth and it looks like his mouth. The middle one was for a drawing I made for a friend and with this I actually looked at photos so that I could draw some of his hairstyles from the 90s and I liked this one the best and it was also quite easy to draw too.

Do I even have to say that I’m not extremely motivated what comes to drawing? I feel like my creative has become what it has never been before. I still don’t really know what to draw but I just feel that whatever it is I’ll start next, it will be good. And if it doesn’t... who cares? I had so much fun with those extra mouths of Farin which was maybe visible from the video I filmed, and that is what makes drawing worth it. Before I took the drawing process so seriously and a mistake felt like the end of the world but now I laugh at them and make fun of them and don’t take them too seriously. And I always have ways to fix these, or I can redraw. Just like I did with Farin’s mouth (or a half of his face actually) for this newest drawing. The most important thing is that I’m having fun and enjoying what I do, that way usually the outcome will also be a success.

I have now at least 2 dä comics on my to-do list (I don’t remember if there’s a third one too) + one pencil drawing that is halfway there. It will take one more night/day for it to get it finished. I also have probably 5 ideas for self-comics etc. in my sketchbook and I try to find some time to work on those. Or actually I have a plenty of time. Adhd, time blindness and executive dysfunction just make it feel as if I didn’t :D Can’t wait to get working on my next drawing projects, tho!

(I wish I knew how to make art for a living even but that’s a topic that will need its own post which I’m probably do in a near future if I don’t forget :D)

#mcrmadness’ art talk #mcrmadness draws #the post has lots of text but also quite a many images #dä fanart #die ärzte #I have been drawing dä comics since 2010 - the old ones are very stupid but whatever :D #long post

5 notes · View notes

coollyinterferes · 4 years

Text

@chinchillasinunison

//Hi there!! Thank you so much for trusting me to answer this question! I kinda suck at explaining things, but I’ll give it my best shot :D

I’ve indeed been rping for 13-ish years now (about 8 of those have been here on tumblr). Some of the things I’ve learned about rp over the years have been through trial and error while also discovering my own working patterns and learning to work with my partners, sometimes only through basic rp etiquette, while some others by talking things out with my partners. [I’m putting the rest under a read more for length reasons ;;;]

When it comes to inspiration, it can vary, and it might sometimes depend on the muse. One of the things I’ve come to find that helps me the most for both inspiration and actual writing and keeping myself focused is music. My muses have always worked as “minds of their own” (if that makes any sense?), so they tend to react to the same music in different ways than the rest of their “muse-brothers”. In Robert’s case, I usually just need some nice melodies, catchy tunes or just a tune/lyrics that catches his attention or conveys a feeling and actually makes him feel something to have him react to it, while it was different for some of my previous muses, as some would literally refuse to cooperate at all if the music was just not their type (like, say, playing ‘loud’ types of music for a muse who has sensitive ears, for example).

Reading is also another great source for inspiration, whether it is fanfiction, a book, sometimes even stuff from magazines, or historical and period typical stuff (some of the headcanons and stories and whatnot I’ve written for Robert have come from reading about stuff from his time), and so on, but it can sometimes depend on the sort of muse you have. Same happens with looking through fanarts and doujinshi, or even talking about the character(s) with someone else. I’ve seen plenty of my partners throughout the years draw ideas and inspiration for some of their AUs from a fanart they saw somewhere, or a comic they read (just make sure to ask for permission if you do this and to, at least, give proper credits to the original author!).

Another one that can be helpful when you feel like you’re losing your character’s voice is looking at their source material, whether they come from an anime, a manga, a videogame, or what have you. Revisiting their source material usually helps a lot, for you can sometimes find things you hadn’t noticed before, or see some you may have forgotten about, and so on. Studying your muse’s canon (esp if you’re aiming to keep them close to canon) and their motivations can be super helpful. If you’re aiming for something “canon divergent”, then you can use their canon as a base as to what paths not to follow and deviate from it in any way you want to and explore their reasonings and motivations in this new canon you’re writing for them.

Doing research can help too. Like I mentioned just above, some of the stuff I’ve written for Robert here and on my fanfics and metas and headcanons has come after doing some research about things from his time, and it was similar with some of my previous muses. One of them was a bat youkai, for example, so I’d often draw ideas from bats’ behavior and adapt them to his character. He was also a bandit who knew how to fight using scythes (kusarigama, more specifically), so some of the ideas and inspiration I’d draw would come from reading about a bandit’s lifestyle, especially those from his fandom/universe as well as learning about youkai behavior in his universe, as well as watching videos of people using similar weapons to his, reading about historical usage of said weapons and so on.

Developing some your muse’s already existing relationships with other characters can help too, as they can help you see and understand better some sides of your muse that you might not have considered before (though you might need to discuss this with a partner who rps the other muse involved first if you ever want to include that in a rp, as not everyone has the same hcs). Using that bat youkai muse I mentioned earlier as an example again, I’d often explore his only canon relationship he had with another youkai, thinking of the different scenarios that ended up bringing them together, their reasons and their motivations to stick together and so on. There’s very little about this muse in his canon, so there were huge gaps to fill and a lot of room for headcanons, really, and while I had my own hcs, some of the peeps I rped with had different ones, so it was always a matter of discussing certain things first so things could go down smoothly.

Speaking of headcanons, sometimes just wanting to fill “plot holes” or exploring things that just were never fully explored or explored at all in the canon can also serve as inspiration.

In other cases, you can find inspiration/motivation through different means. Sometimes even just by wanting to give a character the love and attention they need, which was the case of the first muse I ever had (he was a “not so popular” character from an already “not so popular” animanga). And it was also part of what made me swallow my sheer nervousness and anxiety when I first started Robert’s blog, too, as I’d often see all those misconceptions about his character going around and being taken as canon, so I really wanted to change that and make people see him for who he is. But, again, it really depends on each case.

Going out for walks, or even just travelling on the bus on your way home, and looking at the world around you can help get those ideas working. So I would ultimately suggest doing some trial and error with both, the things you know or feel like might help, as well as trying those you don’t have much hope in. You might end up finding they actually work for you!

As for a thread’s end, it depends entirely on the thread and the partner you have that thread with, if it was plotted or not and so on. If it was plotted, there’s a chance you and your partner have discussed the details of it, sometimes including the end of it, or where you wanted the thread to go. In that case, you will be able to tell more “easily” when the thread is coming to an end. For “wing it” or unplotted threads, there might be times you will be able to tell when the thread comes to an end since there might not be much else for the muses to do in it. It can happen after a few replies in, it can happen after several, it depends on the type of thread but, in the end, it will be a matter of having some communication with your partner. Most of them will tell you when they feel the thread has come to an end, even if it’s only through the tags. Sometimes a simple “i think this is a good closure for the thread. what do you think?” does the trick, for it conveys the idea while also requesting some input from your partner (in case they still want to continue the thread, have more ideas for it, and so on). Just keep in mind that there might be plenty of times when threads will get dropped without a notice, and this is pretty normal in rp in general, for sometimes one (or both) partner(s) lose interest in the thread, and that’s alright. The thing about rp is exploring different scenarios for the muses involved. Some will work, some might not. The key is to continue exploring new ideas, or maybe similar ideas but with different muses as this can lead to (sometimes vastly) different outcomes.

And I get you about getting burned out. It’s quite common to go through that when you run a rp/ask blog or literally any other blog that requires periodical updating, and especially through some difficult times like those we’re living in now with all the stuff going on around the world, however, you need to ALWAYS keep in mind that these blogs and rping and creating content in general is something you do as a hobby. The moment you start treating it as a job or a chore and that you “have to update” is the moment you need to take a step back before this sucks all the fun out of it. It’s okay if you can manage to reply everyday, or as soon as a partner posts a reply to your thread, but it’s also okay to take your time with things and to work and reply at your own pace. It’s okay to take some days off, just like it’s okay to just sometimes lurk in silence, or just be active ooc replying to ims and asks, or just reblogging stuff, or simply engaging in dashboard shenanigans and whatnot. Again, this is a hobby, meant to de-stress you, and it should always be treated as such so it doesn’t have the entire opposite effect.

This got a bit too long, but I hope to have answered your questions!! If you have any more, just shoot them my way and I’ll get to them asap! :D

#chinchillasinunison #;answered #;speedwagon withdraws coolly

3 notes · View notes

letters-from-the-three-houses · 5 years

Note

Ooooooofffff who are you gonna pair up???

!!! :D

the first half answers the question proper and is probably what i’m going to do in my first play throughs, while the latter half is a list of my actual ships (though i like all the ships in both lists because notps don’t exist in my vocabulary!)

this got long so it’s under the cut! if the read more works now; come on, tumblr, you can do it edit: nooo it didn’t work. sorry again for flooding everyone’s dash with a long post;; edit2: now it does! awesome

black eagles:

edelgard/linhardt - i really adore the idea of them together so i would not be opposed to an accelerated rate to their supports! i saw fanart of them by reddit user chiralmia one day and i thought they looked cute. eddie being all gung ho about the crests and lin being a crest researcher is bound to have some interesting conversations

hubert/dorothea - this one request made me hardcore ship them because their dynamic is?? super?? fascinating?? i can’t wait to see how they’d interact in-game!

caspar/petra - another;; request;; just imagining caspar being so proud of petra as she improves her adrestian and gets acclimated to the monastery makes my heart warm. he’d be so supportive of her! anyone who makes fun of her speech? insert gta wasted sound effect here

ferdinand/bernadetta - moeblob’s comics opened my eyes to the idea of ferdiebernie and they’ve never closed since. they kinda give me ‘my fair lady’ vibes? this would be a great platonic pairing and i am not opposed to seeing ferdinand become protective of her

(other ones i’m looking forward to):

ferdinand/dorothea - since he’s all uppity about nobility and dorothea’s a commoner, i wonder how it’ll work!

hubert/petra - so serious! such cool! much admire! they both like edelgard a lot too so i can see them gushing about her together and aaaahhh

caspar/bernadetta - even more requests?! and a fanfic?!?! i’m weak????? caspar being bright and happy to bernie’s glum, and coaxing her to socialize more is top tier

blue lions:

sylvain/ingrid - i mentioned before that i thought they’d be like kaze/azura (which was my fates otp!) before i found out sylvain was a flirt, but now that just makes the ship a fusion of kaze/azura and sain/fiora?? which i both adore?? so i dunno about you guys but this stole me from the get go

felix/annette - (KROISSANT IF YOU’RE OUT THERE—) if it isn’t obvious yet i like my serious, depressed grumpy cats together with bright sunshine children and this is exactly that

dedue/mercedes - actual parents;; they’d be so soft it’ll be insane

(other ones i’m looking forward to):

ashe/annette - shenanigans all the way! they’ll have loads and loads of fun when they’re with each other

dimitri/ingrid - obligatory ‘we have to get the pegasus knight and the lord she has an unrequited crush on together’; not that ingrid does have an unrequited crush on dimitri (we don’t know if she does), but they fit the trope

felix/mercedes + felix/ingrid - we ARE shipping felix with everyone and we ARE going to like it

golden deer:

claude/marianne - asdfghjkl; an actual disney prince with an actual disney princess? why would i not??

lorenz/hilda - they hate each other. i can feel it in my bones. i need to know how it’d work. please, IS

ignatz/lysithea - cute babies! you can see them together a couple of times so they must be friends! i honestly had a daydream about them eloping together which????? made me hate my brain more than i already do, but i guess i’m going to have to roll with it

raphael/leonie - i actually don’t want to pair them up with anyone because i think they don’t care about romance (asexual/aromantic representation when;;), but they seem like good pals so i’ll be okay with that!

(other ones i’m looking forward to):

claude/hilda - partners-in-crime. i don’t know why but i keep thinking they’re childhood friends. they’re probably not, but their dynamic is bound to be funny

lorenz/lysithea + lorenz/marianne + lorenz/leonie - i’m super curious to know why girls don’t like him. is it because he has terrible pick up lines?? does his personality suck?? will they mention his haircut????

ships i really ship (they’re mostly interhouse because i’m an idiot):

they haven’t really changed much from before so if you’ve read this post, you can skip this!

dimitri/edelgard - out of all the lord pairings i could have chosen i chose this one, and it constantly reminds me how much i hate myself (note: before anyone asks, i’m aware of what thani said! whether or not it’s true, it just makes their dynamic that much more interesting to me?? i dunno, guys; sorry if anyone’s disappointed in my terrible taste :c)

ashe/bernadetta - the first time i thought of these two together, i gasped out loud and never looked back since. i still think these two would get along quite nicely! i’m tempted to steal one when i’m in the other half’s house (+ steal both during my golden deer run) so they can be archer partners

petra/dorothea - still the same reasoning as before. one’s a commoner and the other’s a foreigner so they feel out of place within the black eagles as i await for the inevitable ‘but i belong with you’ trope

mercedes/lysithea - i got lysithea’s personality wrong but i still think this is cute! mercie being all sweet and caring whenever lys forgets to take care of herself, and lys making sure mercie is appreciated as she should be is uwu

felix/sylvain - “not fraldarddyd?? letters, i trusted you!” i’m shrieking i’m so sorry if it’s any consolation i don’t trust myself either i just think felix getting all flustered by sylvain’s flirting is?? ???? ?????? and asdfghjkl; i’m trying to spit out words but i don’t even know how to describe it please don’t hurt me

claude/annette - ;w; i have very many feelings about this that would take too long to explain, so if anyone’s curious just shoot another ask and you’ll get an essay in return!

i’m also partial to felix/edelgard but you didn’t hear that from me

from the ships i mentioned in the earlier lists:

hubert/dorothea

sylvain/ingrid

felix/annette

claude/marianne

claude/hilda

broships i really broship:

edelgard/bernadetta - pry this from my cold, dead hands

dimitri/felix/sylvain/ingrid - it’s canon! what else could i ask for?

linhardt/caspar - also canon!

annette/mercedes (+ ingrid) - also canon!! (+ ingrid needs friends to balance out her dumb dumb childhood squad)

linhardt/ignatz - they’re officially nerds! different topics, sure, but they seem like they’d get along well

dorothea/ingrid - girls supporting girls. that is all

bernadetta/marianne - they’re so similar! i’m sure they would bond/connect really quickly, and they’d have each other in their support circles!!

caspar/lysithea/marianne - this would be so chaotic haha. caspar shoots off, does something crazy, drags mari with him, and makes lysithea’s high blood pressure go off the charts

hubert/ingrid/mercedes - honestly? they can have all the tea they want if it means just taking a break and relaxing from their rowdy housemates

i also really want to see ferdinand/leonie interacting with each other just because leonie is the the least noble of all the characters and i wonder what ferdie would think of her

edit: oh yes!! and lorenz/mercedes; mercie mentions that she knows him so i’m curious about what they could talk about!

#asks #misc #anon

24 notes · View notes