the other day i was thinking about how the first time i read htn, i was waiting the whole book for a twist about john. specifically, a twist in personality i was waiting for him to 'drop the act', so to speak, and reveal himself as a cruel, intelligent manipulator instead of the most pathetic piece of man i've ever read. but then the twist happened, and it completely blew my mind bc even after the twist, he still is just like that. he exploded the heart of one of the few people who maybe ever really loved him, but he's still just like that. and that hurt even more. the aspects of his nature that briefly endeared me to him suddenly became repulsive and honestly insulting. mercymorn is right, how dare you sit on the couch and discreetly eat peanuts. how dare you tell the child begging you for absolution to get a hobby. he can't even do fascism right. he literally just exists to eat hot chip and lie and that's so INSULTING. it's INSULTING. JOHN GAIUS'S EXISTENCE IS SUCH A SLAP IN THE FACE.
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[ lyrics: karma - circusp ]
so i think zane should've gotten his lick back
i think after failing to protect the innocent he goes on to develop an extreme sense of vigilante justice to compensate, and sometimes that justice gets ugly
i want to see him annihilate vex lol. partly for what he did to him but most importantly what he did to every innocent villager and formling and creature in the realm. he can't change his past but he will avenge his victims.
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corazón.
a companion piece to this one.
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I understand Ivan Karamazov because I too am twenty something and have no desire to live past the age of 30.
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The many faces of Goro Akechi
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Do you think, as a child, Kalim was ever kidnapped and saw the faces of the criminals but when learning they would be executed refused to identify who did it and played dumb? Do you think he’s ever looked into the eyes of a man who threaten to end his very being but simply said he’d never seen him before in his life? Do you think he’s been brutally hurt a relative but still sent a gift to them on their birthday?
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