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thotsforvillainrights · 3 years

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~Christmas with You~

(It’s days after Christmas as usual I haven’t active or slept properly yet but I’ve been focused on my store lol. I hadn’t been super on my writing game in a hot minute so I decided to write how your partner would treat you during the holidays. This features EVERY single villain I write for from the list located in my bio IN ORDER. Also I apologize if you don’t celebrate Christmas and this doesn’t apply to you. I hope you still had a great holiday anyway, and I love you!)

~Toga💉-She begins her present shopping early because she wants to find you something that she’s sure you’ll like! Eventually she ends up buying a ton of things, but none of them satisfy her and she’s worried you won’t like any of them even though you will. So finally she settles on making you something instead. She will stay up all night long pushing herself to put together the perfect gift for you and will literally fall apart if you don’t like it. But I’m sure she won’t have to worry about anything like that.

~Dabi🔥-Hates the holidays. He tells you they hold some pretty shitty childhood memories for him and he’s honestly all for avoiding even just the thought of Christmas, but of course he looks at you and that changes. He’s really willing to try and take part in a little holiday cheer just for you even if it’s stupid to him. Call it cheesy, but when he celebrates with you it helps take away from the old bad thoughts. It gives him a chance to replace the bad memories with good ones. So he’ll bake some shitty cookies with you, and poorly wrap presents even if he knows that you know what he got for you. Of course he’s not opposed to a mistletoe kiss or two (or three). You help put the cheer in the holiday for him.

~Overhaul🥀-Hates Christmas. It’s not the holiday, it’s just how many people are buzzing around up until that point. So he gets ALL of his shopping done early. And and all emergencies are to be handled by his men (ex: in case he forgot something on the list). The number one thing he takes super seriously is you seeing your presents. You better hope he doesn’t catch you sneaking around the tree. He will lock you in the bedroom until the day of Christmas itself before he lets you open any of them early...even on Christmas eve

~Shigaraki🤚-Literally wakes you up super early on the morning of just so you can watch a movie with him in a fluffy throw blanket with the hum of his electric heater nearby. He loves this season with you more than any other because he can use the cold weather as an excuse to cuddle with you. “Oh well you know I’m kinda small here so I don’t produce a lot of body heat. You should come closer.” Aside from that, he loves the way you celebrate. You make it up to him for not having a childhood at all. Surprisingly enough, he loves doing all the little things with you.

~Tengai🏳-Doesn’t see a point in the holidays and never really supported it before. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s no scrooge. He would rather spend his time the way he usually did around this time of the year: working at charity spots and donation centers. When you find out he spends every holiday season serving food to people less fortunate it makes your heart soar. So if you have the time to join him, then by all means please do so. Help him spread a little peace this season

~Deidoro🍺-Being someone that knows a LOT about different drinks out there, he has never in his life heard about eggnog. It throws you for a loop at first and you laugh at him as he watches you in confusion. “Wait...you’re being serious about this???” So you have to sit him down, make it for him, and let him try it. I mean, how could he be the one person to not know about this when its alcohol related? Well let’s just say that not only does it stick, but Sakaki has been downing eggnog at the Hassaikai Christmas party all night, and now he’s trying to literally eat you in the bathroom while you’re washing your face. It’s ridiculous

~Nemouto✔-This man is 100% proposing to you on Christmas night after a long date with you. For someone that talks about feelings being pointless, he sure does have a lot of love for you. He pays attention to the details and the moods around him. This time was a boost in your happiness and it signaled the perfect time for him to pop the question to you. Add in all those romantic light attractions, and the snow with the carolers etc. Its free romance that he can ride on and use to his advantage. Catch him getting on one knee in the snow after you two are leaving a light show in the city.

~Setsuno💔-Holidays are depressing to say the least. To him, Christmas and Valentines day were the worst 2 days to be alone out of any day of the year. Well WERE until you came into his life. He stares at you unwrapping presents under the tree while he sips some cocoa and he thinks about how lucky he was that you came into his life. Little moments like these help tie together the ideal that holidays aren’t so bad. Thanks to you, he no longer has to fight back tears of sadness in the dead of night as the snow falls against his window and sticks until it melts. Now he has to fight tears of joy blurring his eyes while you two lounge on the couch and try to get through a holiday movie without falling asleep on each other

~Compress🎭-Will do any and everything with you during this day. I mean he’s going to go all out for you on any day of the year, but this one is a little different. So bring in those matching Santa hats, and roll out the gingerbread house kits. Compress is down for it all. It’s not just for you, but all for the sake of letting loose for once during the year and allowing himself to relax as a civilian instead of a villain on the run. He’d rather spend time building a gingerbread house than trekking through the cold forest with the sounds of sirens in the background getting near.

~Twice👬-This man gets a new ugly Christmas sweater like every year since 7 years ago. The only difference is now he can celebrate with you and his friends instead of celebrating with himself and his clones, alone somewhere in a storage unit. And yes: he’s the number one person to force the league into a Christmas party because he knows you’ll have fun hanging out with him and everyone else (since usually he keeps you away for protection). He’s also the most likely to make everyone engage in secret Santa with each other. Jin is also the one most likely to burn through Christmas movie marathons like it’s nothing at all to him. He runs on peppermint hot cocoa, and marshmallows so don’t challenge him at all

~Kurogiri☁️-Usually he wouldn’t think twice to celebrate it. It doesn’t bother him, but he’s not really focused on being cheerful when there’s work to be done instead. You have to be the one to help him slow down and enjoy the tiny things here and there. He’ll help you string up lights, decorations, and the tree. Believe me, he does an amazing job on it all because he doesn’t half-ass his work in any kind of way whatsoever. He’s also kinda in love with the Christmas sweater/vest combo you got for him (and he’s secretly wanting to brag about it). He’s not one for the sweets like the ribbon candy, or the candy canes but he’ll blow through holiday food that you cook or order. Most of all, he’s invested in seeing you smile

~AFO💀-Christmas is just another excuse for him to spoil you. However, you have to step up and let him know it’s more than just gift giving that he needs to do. Where you would love some quality time with him, he’s more about giving you 1,000′s of dollars of gifts and handling work that needs to be done. But who can say no to those eyes of yours huh? (Don’t answer that. Just know he’s not one to deny you). He’s not really into the holidays but he treats it like a big important date night between the two of you. He’ll go above and beyond to ensure things runs smoothly. You’ll have to introduce him to ‘stay at home’ dates for once. If not

~Stain🔪- Isn’t down for it until you mention the tradition that some people go out and chop a real tree. For some odd reason, he’s attached to the idea of chopping a tree down. At first you thought you’d successfully got him into the Christmas spirit, but it just turns out he was eager to use a blade for big business for the first time. Either way, you shrugged it off and rode with it. And boy was that a mistake to make...You were shivering out there. Stain had you in the forest for at least an hour now while he hunted down the perfect tree. You swore to yourself that you’d be getting a fake one next year

~Muscular💪-”Celebrate Christmas? Okay, why tho?” You maybe could convince him by disguising it as a romantic time but he’s not big on romance either. You entice him with gift giving. More importantly the idea of hiding his gifts and not letting him see a single one till Christmas day. THAT is how you get him into the holiday. Be warned though, he’s mostly taking part in the other celebrations because he’s wanting those presents so badly.

~Mustard☣-You’ll be lucky if you can get him to go Christmas shopping with him, let alone celebrate. No offense against the holiday itself but Mustard doesn’t celebrate ANY day. He doesn’t even like to celebrate his own birthday! He seems to be a bit more bitter around the holidays and the cheer isn’t helping. “C’mon don’t be a scrooooooge!” You poke at his cheek while he’s scrolling through his phone on the couch. “Y/N for the last time, kindly piss off.” He glares at you before turning his attention to his phone again. At this point you’ll either have to risk getting put under from annoying him too much, or you’ll have to find another way to convince him to loosen up. Good luck with it

~Spinner🦎-10/10 best person to spend Christmas with. He’s more into it than you are. As soon as December 1st hits, he’s putting up decorations. In fact, he put up the tree a week before Thanksgiving. The holidays remind him of when he was little and he sat in his mom’s lap while she sewed a Christmas tree quilt. Or when he and his sibling would have snowball fights in the backyard (despite his aversion to cold weather due to his quirk). Shuichi will sit down and write out a holiday movie watch list and watch a different Christmas almost every single day with you if you’d allow it. He’s the first to bake cookies, and the first to start buying gifts early. Most of all, he’s happy to spend this time with you. (Oh be prepared for those walks in the park to admire the Christmas lights)

~Katsukame🗿-Big guy is a lot more cheerful than you know, but he knows nothing about Christmas so you gotta show him all those old fashioned traditions. But please don’t tell him to deck the halls because he will pull a ‘Rappa’ move and punch holes in the hallway walls. Aside from that, he’s pretty open to Christmas cookies, and even decorating. But I have to say he draws the line at singing door to door at people’s houses because he hates to sing. He doesn’t even like to hum lol

~Rappa👊-Hell yeah he’s gonna spend it with you! The big guy is literally sold on just about anything involving you (well as long as he doesn’t have to wear a stuffy suit for it). His excitement stems mostly from his curiosity. He never had a bad childhood but he still can’t remember much of the holidays back then. So who needs old memories when you can make new ones! At least that’s his reasoning after all lol.

~Hawks🦅-This guy is the WORST at giving you presents. I mean his gifts are amazing, but he always slips up and tells you what they are too soon. In fact, he will buy you something and ask if you wanna see it within the next five minutes afterward. Its gotten to the point where you have to beg him almost to stop letting wanting you to open stuff. He can’t help it though! Keigo just loves spoiling you, and holidays are the exception where he can go crazy with his saved money.

~Magne🕶-She has this crazy secret collection that she finally busted out once you’ve gotten close enough to you in the relationship. Her secret collection ended up being a MASSIVE set of sweaters (specifically Christmas themed) While she’s beaming proudly about how she has a different sweater for every day in December, your jaw is almost on the floor. “Mag...don’t...don’t these cost like 50 bucks each? How long have you been collecting these?!” Anyway, you should expect an ugly Christmas sweater party with the League at least once this December

~Tabe🍡-Forget celebrating the other stuff that comes with Christmas, you already know what he’s excited about...All that yummy yummy food!!! Oh God (if it applies) take him to your family (or friends) for Christmas and watch his face as he enters to see that table full of food. Oh man, he’s going to do his best to be respectful but on the inside he wants to destroy all of the food on that table. Oh and don’t worry about the whole baking cookies for Santa because Tabe is most likely going to eat them...and drink the milk too

~Hojo💎-He starts present shopping in late October, early November so that way he has everything he needs to get for you (which is a lot). He hides your presents at the base so you have no idea where to find them. Thanks to the base being an underground labyrinth, you’ll never see those gifts until Christmas eve (just one), and Christmas day (the rest of them). Hojo goes along with whatever you do to celebrate the holidays. He’s just perfect husband material to be honest. Not too rough around the edges, but willing to beat a man to death if his job calls for it. Who knew he’d be the most willing to celebrate the holidays with you.

~Chronostasis🔫-He will literally defy anyone that stood in the way of spending this holiday with you. That includes his own best friend/boss. Overhauls knows this, and he’s comes to respect your relationship so he purposefully doesn’t schedule Hari to work on Christmas (but he still pays him for the full day since he’s still his friend). Hari will absolutely kill anyone that got in the way of your cheer. Even if you were one of those people that believed in Christmas magic, he would support you. The world is tough, and it shows no mercy so little things like joy during the holiday meant a lot more than anyone could know in your household. He loves to see you happy so if that means celebrating with you, then he’s going to do it. Besides...he secretly likes Christmas himself

~Mimic💰-Literally loves to talk about how unnecessary it is while he’s also excited for it as well. Like he’ll talk down about decorating while he’s decorating. If you try to step between him he’s gonna tell you to: “Back off, you’re messing up my artistic flow here. Go sit on the couch. Make yourself useful and unwrap the candy cane boxes for the tree.” You can see by the way he steps back and puts his hands on his hips to admire his handy-work that he’s taken a bit of pride in things here.

~Pops🇯🇵-The old man will take part in the celebration with you because he absolutely adores both you AND the holiday itself as well. He might mix in a few older traditions like Elf on a Shelf, and making a popcorn line to go around the tree. Most importantly you can look forward to opening one gift early as per tradition on Christmas eve. Pops is thankful every single year he gets to spend with you.

~Giran👏-Christmas presents from him are on lock. You see he developed this tactic after brainstorming some ideas. He’s always buying you anything and everything but he realizes that it takes away from his Christmas gift pool. To combat this, he decided to cutdown on his generosity in the months of September, October, and November. That way, it’ll give him some time to get you a bunch of stuff on Christmas that you DONT already own. Or at least some stuff you don’t already need.

~Geten❄-Of course he’s number one at hiding how he feels about you. Or maybe more along the line of being a total Tsundere, but believe me he loves you. If that means celebrating this holiday with you then he’s willing to endure it. His grumpy face is getting harder and harder to hide from you. Sometimes you can just barely catch a glimpse of his content smile while you guys build a snowman together. Wanna have some real fun with him? Challenge him to a snow building competition. With his quirk at play you’ll surely lose no matter what, but isn’t it fun to see him bragging his ass off about how he ran circles around your ‘shitty snow project’?

~Slice💋-She doesn’t hate the holiday, but she DESPISES the cold weather. A lot of her clothes are shorter and sexier by far. Summer is her number one time of the year. Besides, winter dries her skin out, and she hates being under wraps of a thick jacket etc. She can’t even wear her open toed heels!!! Besides that, she’s down for celebrating indoors if you want to. Christmas movies, hot cocoa, and a few make-out sessions are her forte. That’s the best way to do Christmas in her opinion

~Nine🌪-Bake cookies? Sure. Volunteer at shelters? Absolutely. Hang lights around the house/apartment? Yes baby, anything for you. I mean Nine is a ‘yes’ man all year round, but he’s especially willing to agree to things during this time of year. He’s completely whipped for you and there’s nothing wrong with that. He celebrates however you’d like him to do so. There is just one thing he wants to do that he suggested first and that’s either driving slowly through fancy neighborhoods to see their lights up, or going to a Christmas themed petting zoo and feeding carrots to the reindeer. Let’s say he’s a child at heart during this time of year

~Chimera🐺-Literally sees no purpose in celebrating it at all. He’ll do the stuff you want but he’s going to complain the whole way. The only thing he’s big on is saving up his cash and getting you something. The only thing that matters to him is making you happy during the entirety of your relationship (which he hopes is the rest of your lives together). The rest of the stuff he’s just grumbling and putting up with so he can see your smile.

~Mummy🥋-Christmas? For what? Well okay then, if you say so. Really doesn’t get the point but hey, why not. He’s got nothing better to do. He’s never really celebrated it, His family never really celebrated it either so he’s a little interested in how you get down for it. His favorite thing he developed was this odd present wrapping competition with you. You should already know how good he is at wrapping things due to his quirk (I’m sure he’s shown you how good he is at binding and wrapping stuff before). Add a little competition into anything and he’s ready to do it. Baking competition, Caroling competition, Decorating competition. He’ll even challenge you to who can cuddle each other better. Whatever floats his boat I guess lol

~Gentle Criminal☕-He wants to travel during the holidays with you and he wants to vlog it all. Only if you’re okay with it of course! If you give him the ‘okay’ then he’s whisking you away somewhere overseas for a more extravagant vacation. He ends up spending so much time with you and having so much fun that he stop recording like 3 days in. His reasoning behind travelling is that snow must be so much more fun elsewhere, so of course the rest of the holidays must be as well. In all reality he just wants to make sure you have a fun Christmas. Travelling during it and experiencing different places and cultures are a fun new way to experience the holiday.

~La Brava📸-Handy with the tech, but mostly with the camera. She amasses an entire compilation of you throughout the day and she’ll stay up all night stitching it together. The day after Christmas comes and she sits you down on the couch to watch it with her. Honestly she’s the sweetest and most dedicated partner that anyone could ask for. The way she treats you makes you thankful not just for spending Christmas with her, but for spending any day of the year with her.

#league of villains #shie hassaikai #yakuza #lov #bnha villains #thotsforvillainrights

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 4

I really need a pick-me-up after 2x11, and I feel like 1x7 might be what I'm looking for, so here I am again with another HSMTMTS rewatch. I'm genuinely so excited for both of these episodes, so without further ado, let's jump right into

1x6: She stands for... lies, pressure and very inappropriate suggestions (coming here after 2x11 might have been a mistake, actually)

I honestly don't get why Nini's reaction to seeing Ricky in full Troy costume was so big — he actually looked pretty ok to me. Sure, the wig is a bit too much, but so what, it's cute.

Ahhh my boy Reddy is so adorable in that talking head... 'click!' Gosh, I love seeing him so cheerful! Guess he's embracing his role as part of the crew. As he should.

'I'm home'. Yes, Sebby, and you look so good, too! Gosh, I love this scene so much. I can't believe I'd forgotten about it.

Gina looks beautiful, though — I mean, she looks beautiful in anything, but I really like the Taylor look on her.

Ok, I fully understand everyone's frustration about this picture — it's genuinely so hard to get a good picture of someone jumping up in the air, and I can only imagine what it would be like with six people. A bunch of my classmates tried to do something like that ages ago and, needless to say, it didn't go very well. No good pictures were taken that day.

Ah, Portwell: the early days. Ok, but wanting something and feeling like you have to get it is far from the same thing, EJ. Honestly, these two in their early days as accomplices... this is not the first time they've been like 'X is the same thing as Y' when it's obviously not. I mean, of course, that time they became accomplices because 'we want the same thing' — which, at that point, they didn't.

Ok, but they were in such unison with that 'Not now!'... couple goals! You know, even before either of them had considered the possibility of them being a couple for real.

That's a lot of pressure that Miss Jenn is putting on dear Carlito over there. I mean, he's one of the youngest at the drama club and he has to essentially do her job for her, all while she's not even sure if she'll be able to return to her job. I just... keep reminding myself that these kids are closer in age to my little brother than they are to me (except for EJ, who is precisely in the middle), and then the pressure they're under takes on completely new proportions in my mind. None of them should have to deal with all of this. And no amount of 'trust the process' is making it better.

'Should I just live vicariously through someone else?' Oh Reddy, you should just live for yourself. I mean, the truth is I don't practice what I preach most of the time, but I really do mean this. Just go out there and live your best life. You're not Ricky's therapy dog or anything (that being said, Ricky's getting a therapy dog when?).

What part of 'a forest of boys' does Nini not get? It's simple enough. Just help Carlos do his job, how about that? I mean, he shouldn't have to do everything himself anyway.

See? He cracked. That's what happens when you put all this responsibility on a teen's shoulders and be like 'deal with it'. He was just trying his best, you guys. He did not deserve all the clapback.

Ricky's forced optimism about Miss Jenn and the show is too much even for me. Sure, I know everything turns out mostly alright at the end, but this just sounds like Ricky's on the verge of a breakdown. You know, every time someone's been too unrealistically positive on this show, it has ended in a breakdown. And that's the last thing I want.

I do agree about the simple acoustic version of the song, though. Sometimes simple is the best option.

Major props to Carlos for going up to Mr. Mazzara like that. If someone had bullied me, and especially if that someone was a teacher, I'd never have dared to call them 'Benjamin Mazarra!' to their face. Even when he's on the verge of despair, this boy is still the boldest. And we love him for that.

Is this where the 'Carlos Surname' joke started, though? I had forgotten. It was funny while it lasted.

Ricky doesn't know it yet, but he's seriously playing with Gina's feelings there. And I don't blame him because, again, he doesn't know yet, but I still feel bad for her.

'Despite the 4.3 GPA, I'm actually an idiot.' — EJ is high intelligence, low wisdom, confirmed. Not that this is news, but I really don't remember much about this season, so I'm pointing this out now.

Now forgive me if I'm not feeling for Miss Jenn after 2x11... she did some really unforgivable things there. Still, as much as I want to say a real qualified teacher would not do any of that, my personal experience suggests otherwise, quite unfortunately. Miss Jenn might not be very emotionally mature, but not having legal teaching credentials is not her biggest issue, really. It is precisely her lack of emotional maturity.

OMG, Big Red accidentally invited the entire drama club over! And that, I guess, is half of how Redlyn established themselves as the hosts of every out-of-school drama club gathering. Thanksgiving is, of course, the other half. Gosh, those two were the parents of the drama club even before they were a couple. Guess they're soulmates in that way, too.

Ok, so I didn't comment on this after 2x8 when Big Red did it to Ricky, but now that I finally notice that Seb did it to Carlos, too (I took my time, thanks), I need to talk about the knee touch thing. See, this is exactly the amount of touch I used to be comfortable with (since I'm very touch-averse) — both on the giving and on the receiving end — and it can mean so much when you feel bad. It's a subtle 'hey, I'm here, it's going to be fine', a sort of hug-without-the-hugging... I feel like this is a gesture we don't see enough of in media and it can feel just as intimate as, say, holding hands or cuddling. I don't want to talk about kissing because I don't know anything about it. But I just love how we've got the knee touch depicted by both a romantic pairing and a platonic pairing in the show. Ok, rant over. But I just really wanted to talk about this because, well, I saw myself in it.

'Her past is a little bit sketchy'... I see, Ash has already started writing Truth, Justice and Songs in Our Key, even if she doesn't know it quite yet.

Miss Jenn finding out Mike is Ricky's dad is just as awkward as it should be. Whatever they had going on should have ended right then and there.

'... people in the dramatic arts are insane' — 'Thank you.' — Umm, Miss Jenn, you are not really helping your case there. Quite frankly, you're lucky you've got the allegiance of the entire drama club. I don't think they'd have your back as much after 2x11, though.

Ok, but... Big Red wearing a longcoat just to take it off for the dramatic flair of it all? An icon if I've ever seen one. Also, mad props to Larry for apparently learning this number in record time after Dara got injured.

Oh, and... mad props to all the kids in-universe for writing, rehearsing, and learning this entire number in one night.

So both Seb and Natalie have solo lines in the song... and Seb was promoted to main in s2. So does this mean Natalie will get the same treatment in s3? I mean, that will probably mean they'll try to stick her in some sort of romantic plot, and I really don't need that, but I really, really want her to be a main character.

Also, let's not forget we had our first Redlyn moment in this number... seeing them dance together makes my heart jump with joy!

I won't lie, though, the entire dance number and everything was just a little bit uncomfortable to watch after 2x11... these kids do so much for Miss Jenn, and what does she do? Put insane amounts of pressure on some of them, shuts others down at every attempt to put in a word, favours yet others despite their abysmal performance at the audition, and then has the audacity to tell that same person to jump off of something high, with all the implications attached? Not that I'm naming any names, of course. Ok, this has taken a sudden and uncalled for turn for the dark, so I guess I'll just move right along to the next episode now.

1x7: A world where 'That was terrible!' and 'I'm so happy!' can both be true at the same time

My girl Ash is doing the recap! And she's a pun queen, too. 'Miss Jenn was in hot water, Carlos was a hot mess...' — not pleasant, but so true. But wbk. Ashlyn is the best.

And... Ricky and Nini's on and off chemistry is back on. Good for them, because after season 2, I really needed to see a good rehearsal. But I'm thinking EJ's joy at the end-of-school bell had little to do with Thanksgiving...

That look Reddy gave Ashlyn as she was walking out... might be me digging for breadcrumbs, but I think I just saw the exact moment my boy fell, and he fell hard. Ok, I realise now after I've said this that 'fall' probably isn't the best choice of words, but you know what I mean. Fell for Ashlyn. Not like... oh, never mind.

'So meek, so mild, sword!' I can't really explain it, but I love this line. And I feel like it describes Ash so perfectly: like, she might be meek and mild, but if you cross her, she's armed. Gosh, I love her!

Not the Caswell parents leaving their children alone over two holiday breaks! No wonder these two are the way they are. But they're about to get a beautiful Thanksgiving celebration. [Fun personal fact: the year I was born, my birthday fell on Thanksgiving day. That doesn't mean much in Bulgaria, but my dad works with a lot of Americans so my parents knew about it and I've known this and that about this holiday I've never celebrated since I was very young. I have no idea why I'm telling you this, but Thanksgiving has always reminded me of my birthday for this reason, so... ok, moving on.]

So I know she kind of suggested it, but... why does Carlos think it's his place to invite people over to Ashlyn's? I mean, this was part 2 of Redlyn establishing themselves as the hosts for any out-of-school gathering, but... oh well, it led to a beautiful party with everyone, so... I'll allow it.

I really liked Nini's talk with her grandma. It was really nice, and a very fitting way to remind everyone what Thanksgiving is originally about. I feel like people often forget that when it comes to... literally every major commercialised holiday.

Wow, EJ really is that person where once the tap is open, it can't stop spilling. And I kind of like that look on him. It's a transitional stage between EJ 1.0 and EJ 2.0, and I appreciate it for what it is.

Ahhhh it's Redlyn's first proper 1-on-1 conversation! I mean, it got kind of really awkward really quickly because of — surprise, surprise — Nini and Ricky (and EJ), but those two are so adorable! No more breadcrumbs — we're about to get an entire five-course meal here! Which goes really well with the Thanksgiving setting, now that I think of it.

Gosh, they've never really talked and my boy whips out the 'the only thing I'd ever throw at your face is a brighter spotlight' line right off the bat? Boy is whipped! But like, he is the master of grand gestures where Ashlyn is concerned. Still, in this first moment they shared, he really was like, go big or go home, and home isn't really an option here. But I should have known, it's in his name after all. Gosh, I love both of those two so much! Especially when they're together.

Ok, so... this is a really bad way to meet your mother's new boyfriend. Poor Ricky. As if ringing his mum wasn't hard enough already.

See, when I rewatch season 1, I get where the Rina stans are coming from, but then again, remember when I used to say I wanted Gina and EJ to just be friends? Yeah, that's changed too. Not that I ever shipped Rina romantically — I rarely ever ship a pairing unless they're explicitly stated to have something going on, just because I can't see that sort of stuff very clearly — but I really, really want them (Ricky and Gina, I mean) to be really good friends. Once they get past the awkwardness of their sort of history, I mean.

I miss the good old days when Nini was a nice person... I mean, we kind of (really) had a glimpse of that in 2x11 (I'm guessing she was making up for Miss Jenn's very inappropriate slip-up), but I miss the days before she was this big internet-famous songwriter and actually had to be convinced by Ashlyn that she should write songs for herself... wait, now that I think of it... Ashlyn might have helped create a monster there. Oh well. Still love her so much!

You know, I love the Choosical, but it's all a bit sad, if you stop to think about it for a sec. Just picture little single-digit-aged Carlito making this whole thing up in an attempt to participate in his favourite thing... only to not have anyone to play with for the next ten years. Great, I just made myself cry. The thing is, I relate to that story a bit too much. I remember in preschool, when the rest of the children would play together, I'd sit in a corner by myself and read the only book that was there... over and over, day after day. I don't even remember a single thing about that little book right now, but back then I clung to it like it was everything. And I couldn't very much share the experience with any of my peers, seeing as I was the only kid there who could actually read (my grandma used to be a preschool teacher and she taught me to read when I was 4). So yeah. I went off on a rather personal tangent there. Thing is, I know how little Carlos felt and I'm so happy that he finally gets to share this thing he made with a loving and supportive group of friends. Everything has its time and place, I guess.

'Look, I'm not following Big Red just because he paid me a compliment' — of course not, dear, you know your own worth and we love that for you — but see, when he said that thing that you're referring to as a compliment, he did not lie! You really are the brightest star and deserve the brightest spotlight. See, the thing I love most about Redlyn's compliments to each other is that they're so sincere and state nothing but the absolute truth. Those two just see each other for what they are, and love each other as they are. And I think that is beautiful.

It's so funny to me every time someone gets something wrong and Carlos just walks past them out of nowhere and corrects them without missing a beat. I kind of relate to that side of him, too. Except it's usually about grammar and language in my case, not HSM trivia.

If I were Nini in this scene, and was suddenly put face to face with Emily on the spot like that, I would not have been able to handle it. So props to Nini for handling it.

Yeah, sorry to break it to you, Emily dear, but whatever you're doing is not a Cockney accent. I don't claim to be an accent expert, but I know first-hand what Cockney sounds like and... that's just not it. Even Dick Van Dyke was closer to a Cockney accent in Mary Poppins, and that's saying something. (See, I feel bad criticising any aspect of Emily because her actress is no longer with us, but... I have no idea who let them get away with passing this off as Cockney).

Is this the beginning of Jennzara there? I am loving this.

Of course Carlos was obsessed with Glee as a kid... but wasn't he a bit too young for it when it aired? I know I was, and I'm older than those kids. I mean, I waited until I was emotionally mature enough to watch Glee, and that wasn't until 3 years ago, when I was 18 going on 19. Ok, I'm thinking too much into this. Moving on.

Ahhhhh, Redlyn! Just... all of their moments. But screaming the lyrics of What I've Been Looking For on top of their lungs while looking right at each other... was so beautiful to watch. Give me more of that!

EJ: 'That was terrible.' Seb: 'I'm so happy!' — Moods, both of them. Those two are real-life emojis, aren't they? And we love them for that.

'... without laughing... or killing each other.' — I feel like that last specification was needed given that it's Ricky and EJ we're talking about, and especially what happened last time they had to do a one-on-one exercise during rehearsal. The ensuing scene, however, is the most hilarious thing!

Root beer, huh? Is that the HSMTMTS code for 'awkward' now? I mean, Nini and Gina had a nice talk there, all things considered. I really want the two of them to put the Ricky thing past them and be friends... but we'll see.

Gina is trying to make the sleepover thing look like 'it's not a big deal' despite how big of a deal it obviously is to her... to which I say, good for you, girl, but I wouldn't know. The only sleepovers I've ever had have been with my little cousin who is 9 years younger than me and also insists on sleeping with a very bright nightlight on, which means I can't sleep at all. So yeah, I wouldn't know. But I'm happy that Gina is feeling included.

So this is the exact moment when it becomes clear that Big Red is not telling us the complete truth when it comes to his HSM knowledge... '14 and 10'? Even I didn't know that. I knew 14, but... for someone who allegedly 'hates musicals', my boy has very detailed knowledge of one certain musical movie... I love how it got him a certain girl's attention, though. Not that she wasn't already paying attention to him, if you catch my drift.

Ok, but this hits even harder now than it did the first time — just when Gina has finally managed to make friends, to feel included in their group, her mum has to move her away again. This is straight-up tragic. I'll say it now, and I'll probably say it again when it comes up in the rewatch — Ashlyn is an absolute queen for taking Gina in for the next semester.

'That's sort of what you always do, huh? Take care of everyone else' — yeah, Ash, and you do the same. You two just need someone to do for you what you do for other people. See, guys, this is what I mean. This is why they're soulmates. Because in a world that has more or less forced both of them to put others first, they put each other first. They each get to be the most important person to each other after they've been stepping back for others all the time. And if that isn't beautiful, I don't know what is. I know I'm repeating myself over and over saying this, but... they own my heart and soul and I'm not for sale.

Ok, but Ashlyn's little run after Big Red left was so cute! Girl is... I don't know why I keep using that word, but... falling.

Unpopular opinion: Out of the Old is the best Nini solo to come out of this series to date. Maybe I feel that way just because I relate to it most, but hey, that is a valid reason to like something.

Oof, EJ's losing followers. Oh well, if they're unfollowing him for being too honest, they didn't like the real him to begin with. So good riddance to them.

Yikes... Jennzara fell asleep with flammable stuff left unattended... we all know how that ended, but just the fact that they felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in each other's presence... speaks volumes. So I guess... well, I don't know what exactly I'm saying regarding the fire they caused, but I loved this big little moment they had.

So this is it. That was 1x6 and 7 and, well, they were beautiful, but there are some parts I can't look at in the same way anymore after 2x11. Guess that's the risk of a rewatch. The Redlyn scenes, though — still the best part of both of these episodes. That and a couple of other things for which I don't need to pretend like I haven't seen season 2.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: the rewatch #ricky bowen #nini salazar-roberts #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew-smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #hsmtmts mr mazzara #redlyn #jnk

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hilarieburtonmorgan · 3 years

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Ten Years Later, the One Tree Hill Cast Is Setting the Record Straight

Ten years after the finale of One Tree Hill, the actors Hilarie Burton Morgan, Sophia Bush, and Bethany Joy Lenz have never been closer. Despite their shared experience growing up on screen, the trio— who played Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis, and Haley James in the heartland-set high school soap for nine seasons—were kept largely isolated from one another during those years.

That distance began to dissipate with age, and when the #MeToo movement alerted the actors to some of their common experiences while working on One Tree Hill. In their new weekly iHeartRadio podcast Drama Queens, the three actors unpack the moments—nostalgic and traumatic alike—that unfolded behind the scenes of the wildly popular drama. To celebrate the podcast’s success, Burton Morgan, Bush, and Lenz joined us for a bit of reminiscing. —BRIAN ALESSANDRO

———

HILARIE BURTON MORGAN: Sophia, you were the person that called me about a podcast. What was the catalyst for you to be like, “It’s time”?

SOPHIA BUSH: When we first finished the show, I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to touch it. I didn’t want to be close to it. And then as time went on, and we all started being able to get together, and share stories, and talk some shit. We all finally told each other the stories we’d been afraid to share — I wish we’d been able to have the friendships we have now back then! — and hearing everyone’s stories really made me so furious. It lit that fire in me, and I thought “well, we just have to burn it down.” But, I also had to remember how much our fans love the show, and to realize that despite so much that was insidious we also had fun. We’ve shared stories about what was painful and hard, and I think especially because of what you were put through, I wanted to call you first and just say, like, “Does this idea feel triggering?” You said “No, this feels quite cool.”

BURTON MORGAN: What was your first reaction, Joy?

BETHANY JOY LENZ: I was definitely hesitant about more One Tree Hill anything. But the more we talked about it, I was like, “Wow, this is actually a chance for redemption.” Also, I don’t want to throw shade on the show that did give us amazing opportunities. I always try to temper my frustrations with a good bit of gratitude. But as for the bad stuff, I really do love the opportunity to redeem that. Some of it was us being young and stubborn twenty-year-olds, but a lot of it was the people around us who were using our youth and naïveté to keep us from arguing back. It was always, “Joy, you’re the odd man out. Sophia, you’re the odd man out. Hilarie, you’re the odd man out.” So we never reached out to each other. I’m incredibly grateful for the relationship I with you amazing women now.

BURTON MORGAN: I left the show first, and it was the divorce of my life, because I’d committed so much to being the good soldier. “I’ll do whatever press you want. I’ll go on whatever mall tour.” And so, the loss of that was traumatic. But the next relationship I got into professionally was with White Collar, and the best person I could have ever encountered was Tiffani Thiessen, who was an icon to me. She told me right out of the gate, “Don’t bad mouth the show that got you started. Defend your character, forget the bad guys, take what’s good.” That was such great advice. She was someone whose opinion meant something to me, because she’d been a teen idol of mine. Who were some women on TV that that you felt like we were trying to emulate while we were doing the show?

LENZ: I don’t think I ever really knew how to process it. I actually feel like I missed a lot of the excitement because I kept asking myself what it all meant.

BURTON MORGAN: I was the opposite! I like experience. But I made terrible choices.

BUSH: I’m with Joy. Now, I over intellectualize everything because back then, I was always soaking up all the experiences and I got my ass handed to me. So now I’m like, “What does it mean? What is it all?”

BURTON MORGAN: How many years out are we now? Like 17 years out from the first year?

LENZ: I don’t even know how to process that.

BURTON MORGAN: 18 years out? Jesus, we could have children in college at this point. Why do you think people still care?

LENZ: Comfort food. I mean, that’s it, like especially now that there’s so much content. I can only speak from my experience, but when I settle in to watch TV, I will spend 20 minutes scrolling before saying, “You know what, fuck it,” and turning on Frasier. And that’s what I watch because I know those characters, and I just want that familiarity. I honestly think the over-saturation has played a huge role in our fans’ need for One Tree Hill.

BUSH: And I would also say that there is something about how — as outlandish it got at times — there was also a lot that felt honest. People write to us about how they feel seen, how they feel represented, how they see their own struggles in our show. When I meet new people who are just discovering it and I think, “You could be watching anything! Why? Thank you?”

BURTON MORGAN: Honestly, having an older kid, and seeing the things that he’s drawn to, he loves watching TV shows from our era. Probably the same reason I loved watching Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie and What’s Happening – it’s retro. They’re mystified by it because there’s no social media on our show and so people are actually talking to each other. You actually had to show up at Karen’s Cafe to have that important conversation. It’s a wish fulfillment for these younger kids where they’re like, “Oh, my life doesn’t look anything like that.” We are the time warp, which is super fucked up.

LENZ: And we were also the last show that was doing, dare I say, wholesome content? I mean I know our show, like, jumped the shark several times in many regards, but in terms of the“hometown kids, middle of America, just dealing with regular emotions and life stuff,” those shows became very rare. Everything that came after us was like rich kids—Gossip Girl and The OC, and then it was all brought to a high-concept place like the Vampire Diaries, Riverdale stuff. And I don’t know that there’s anything out there that’s kind of gotten back to the roots, like One Tree Hill.

BURTON MORGAN: Can you imagine pitching One Tree Hill now? Like, “it’s about some kids. Two of them play basketball, and the rest are just moody.”

BURTON MORGAN: What episodes are we all excited to review the most? Some of them are cringey as hell.

BUSH: I’m sure a lot of them will be.

BURTON MORGAN: I like the Halloween episode we did at Tric [the “all-ages” nightclub]. That was batshit. It was 1000 degrees in there and everyone was dying and miserable and we’re dressed up like cartoons.

LENZ: I know. The one with the car, where they made me fucking siphon off gas.

BURTON MORGAN: That was fun cause that was really the first time the three of us were put together.

BUSH: Having to pretend to be high on pills when I never had been, I was like, “I’ll try!” Hilarie, your wedding episode was…

BURTON MORGAN: Christ.

BUSH: That was such a shit show, man. You said the Halloween episode — you’ll cackle when you see we did a Halloween episode after you were gone. And I had to be dressed up as one half of A Clockwork Orange, but was abandoned in my costume, and I was written to be dressed as a giant orange and Carol (Cutshall, costumer) papier-mached a workout ball and drilled armholes in it, and I had to wear it. AND I directed that episode!

BURTON MORGAN: That’s perfect! That’s a chef’s kiss.

BUSH: I had little T-Rex arms, being like, “well, if you go over there” – And they’d say “Where?” And I’d be like, “I can’t show you! I’m stuck in an orange!” It was, it was so humiliating. But when I think back on it, great comedic fodder.

BURTON MORGAN: What is your favorite keepsake from the show?

LENZ: I have the Julius Caesar book that Haley gives to Lucas in the pilot.

BURTON MORGAN: I have the leather jacket that Peyton takes after Ellie [Sheryl Lee] dies. That was an intense crying scene for me. My body has a physical reaction to that jacket.

LENZ: What’s yours, Soph?

BUSH: I have, like, a bin.

BURTON MORGAN: You have everything!

BUSH: There’s like this sad episode where Brooke celebrates her birthday alone in her room with a cupcake. I have the photo album from that scene, which is very sweet because it’s all photos of you and I, Hilarie…

BURTON MORGAN: You have that?

BUSH: Oh yeah, I took that immediately. There are real pictures of us from growing up, because it was this story of these friends who grew up together…

BURTON MORGAN: Joy, we’re gonna photoshop you in.

BUSH: Honestly, we should just make a new one. Of all the stuff that feels sentimental, that “Brooke Davis for President” pin kills me. It’s up on the wall in my office, because it makes me laugh. When I think about why that’s the one thing I’ve displayed—next to a photo of the three of us— it’s because it symbolized something that at the time really embarrassed me, but now I respect. Brooke Davis took the thing she was made fun of for, and turned it into an anthem. She was this bad bitch who owned her shit. That’s something I’ve tried to emulate.

BURTON MORGAN: One thing that I keep thinking is, “we deserve this.”

LENZ: Because we do! It’s hard to say that as women, I think.

BURTON MORGAN: What makes you two feel like we deserve this?

LENZ: Because we’ve worked our asses off, and because it’s beautiful to experience friendship with each other in a way that we were robbed of in our younger days.

BURTON MORGAN: We were really good girls. I’m excited to set things straight.

#hilarie burton #sophia bush #bethany joy lenz #drama queens oth #one tree hill #interview #2021

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calaryssia · 3 years

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exceptional | james sirius potter {two}

My masterlist is my pinned post so, you guys can go on their to see the first two parts to this series, I tried to put it on here but I’m having some issues with my tumblr right now so.

Word count: 2408

november 12th,

first day of the quidditch season has finally made it, and slytherin and gryffindor were the first up. all the quidditch players sitting at those house tables were dressed in their pre-match outfits, with the house colors and logos on them. james was especially amped up to play today, he wanted to beat slytherin of course but he truly wanted to beat grant oscars. him and ara had gotten close over the past months and a half, which still bothered james greatly. even now, seeing her walk into the great hall and walking over to grant smiling, made his stomach turn in anger. james knew that he had to keep his anger from boiling over for the team's sake, this win was too important and they needed james as their chaser to do it.

"are you coming to watch us beat gryffindor today?" grant says as ara sits down next to him at the slytherin table.

"of course, but don't think that i'm only going to cheer you on, i'm going because i'm supporting my house." she smiles at him and she gets settled, he smiles back smirking a bit. ara looks slightly over at the gryffindor table to see james looking at her taking an aggressive bite of his breakfast that was on his fork. she is confused to why he was even looking at her, he had been doing this ever since their conversation in the library on her birthday. it was starting to make ara wonder why he suddenly started looking and talking to her, she was sure he would stop after that talk they had but he still kept an eye on her.

breakfast was fast, with the conversation mostly about quidditch which ara could partake in due to her father teaching her and her brother when they were growing up. the quidditch team left a little early to get dressed, while ara was left to walk to the quidditch pitch alone since penelope was the slytherin seeker.

she noticed scorpius and albus walking over as well, albus waved at her while scorpius didn't even look in her direction. ara had gotten used to this by now, scorpius hadn't talked to her since the day they boarded the hogwarts express at the beginning of the school year. this was still hurting ara but it felt good knowing that he wasn't talking badly about her to his bestfriend. ara remembered how she sat with scorpius and albus at their first slytherin quidditch match when they were only little eleven year olds. she watched as these two boys finally saw how competitive the house rivalries were just like their fathers had described, giving them the true hogwarts experience for the first time. but now, she sat a few rows away from them, surrounded by her other classmates, truly not feeling at home.

james sat in the gryffindor locker room, twiddling his thumbs, for once in his life, nervous about the match to come. his thoughts kept wandering to how ara would laugh when she would talk to grant during meals, or when he would catch them 'studying' in the library. his mates hadn't quite noticed his change in attitude yet, which kind of made it seem like they weren't that great of friends. the truth is, he never felt he was truly close to anyone else besides the people in his family. he had always grown up close with his siblings and his cousins, they had done everything together. his mum and dad had always been close to him as well, he remembered how proud both his parents were when he wrote a letter to them in his second year telling them that he made the quidditch team as a chaser just like his mother and grandfather. he could only picture the smile on his father's face when he read the letter. james wouldn't let anyone know but, he always wanted to make his father proud, it felt more scarce to happen when his brother albus was born and seemed to get more attention out of the two of them from their father. he would never blame that on his little brother though, he just put more presser on himself to be 'better'.

what james didn't know, was when harry got the letter from him he showed up at his first match that year. no one could make him upset that day, because he got to see his first born son play the game that him and his wife grew up loving and playing. it was harry's proudest moment of being a dad, minus seeing his children born of course.

james walks into the quidditch arena, spotting ara out in the crowd as she sat alone. he frowned slightly, before going toward the middle of pitch seeing grant looking as smug as ever. james gained his confidence back in a second and smirked right back at him.

"ready to lose, oscars?" james says, the smirk never faltering.

"you wish, potter."

they both separate from each other, and start the match. quidditch was quite chaotic in ara's opinion, though she did seek great joy in watching when others get hurt, it made her laugh. she tried to keep her eyes on grant, but her eyes also meet james along the way. she so dearly didn't want to like the potter boy, but she couldn't help but look at him and be utterly attractive. she had always had a thing for athletic boys.

the match ended up being close, with slytherin being ahead by only ten points when the snitch was caught by the gryffindor seeker. which left the slytherin side sadly exiting the quidditch pitch, while the gryffindor side celebrated in joy. james looks over to ara, smiling his butt off, to see her smiling looking at him as well. this made his heart melt slightly, thinking that she was starting to maybe feel the same things that he was pondering in his head. she turns and leaves the quidditch pitch, which makes james break through his crowd of friends and other gryffindors to get to her.

"ara!" james says, running to catch up to her. "ara!"

she turns around at the shouts of her name, to see none other than james. she smiled at how he wanted to talk to her, abandoned his friends and all.

“yes james, what is it? come to take in the glory of winning against my house.” she laughs a little, he smiles at her as he steps finally fully in front of her.

“actually i wanted to invite you to a party tonight.”

“a party?” james nods, “now why would i go to a gryffindor party, which is primarily happening due to you guys beating my own house in the quidditch match?”

“maybe because i asked you to?” he smirks, hoping that this would convince her to come.

“and may i ask why you decided to ask me?”

“because, i want to get to know you more, ara malfoy. plus i want to make up for what happened the last time we talked.” she nods, smiling slightly looking down at her feet which weren’t far from his. “so, is that a yes?”

“sure.” she looks up at him, his smile gets bigger.

“great, meet me by the gryffindor common room at eight tonight.” he then jogs away to go celebrate with his friends, leaving ara slightly speechless.

james sirius potter had basically asked her out, at least she knew what to tell her father in her next letter.

————

Ara got ready for the party, hoping that she wasn't over dressing. She put on a black dress that she had bought with her mother about a month before she had passed, and she remembered her mum's reaction when she walked out of the dressing room. Astoria sat there in shock of how beautiful her daughter had become, leaving her almost in tears. As Ara looked in the mirror she teared up a bit, she quickly wiped the tear away, making sure to not mess up her makeup and grabbing her little purse, walking out of the dorm.

As she walks down to the common room, she sees Grant and his friends sitting on the couches. She sighs hoping they won't notice her leaving. As she nears the door out of the common room, that hope doesn't end up working in her favor.

"Ara, where are you off to?" Grant says, getting up off the sofa and heading over to her. "I like the dress."

"Thank you, and I'm going to a party."

"It wouldn't be the Gryffindor party would it?" She nods her head, Grant scoffs slightly. "James asked you didn't he?" she looks down, signally that he is right.

"You know he's only trying to get at you in spite of me, right?" She rolls her eyes.

"Not everything is about you Grant." Ara turns around.

"You'll see Ara, me and Potter have had a rivalry ever since my third year. He'll do anything to get under my skin. And I'll be here when he does." Ara sighs opening the door, and walking out from the common room, making her way to the Gryffindor common room. She was excited and didn't want Grant to ruin that. As she got close to the Fat Lady painting, she saw James leaning on the wall next to the painting. He smiles looking at Ara, he thought she looked absolutely beautiful tonight.

"You look gorgeous, Ara." She smiles at his comment as she finally gets in front of her. "You ready?" he says holding out his hand for her. She nods, grabbing his hand as James says the password and they went into the Gryffindor common room.

Ara had never been in the Gryffindor dormitory before this very moment. She noticed all the red and orange tones in the room, making it feel very home like compared to the Slytherin dormitory. She felt more welcomed here. There were people from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw hanging around and dancing with drinks in their hands. Ara seemed to be the only Slytherin there, making her feel a little out of place. But, James squeezed her hand as if he knew exactly what was going on inside her head and was saying everything would be okay. James walks them both over to where the drinks are, getting himself and Ara a drink. The music coming from the dj was loud, filling the room making it almost impossible to speak.

"So, this is what Gryffindor parties are like?" Ara asks, slightly louder than her normal voice so that James could hear her.

"What are Slytherin parties like?" He laughs at her question a little.

"Not like this." She sighs, she honestly hated Slytherin parties. It wasn't as fun as they were made out to be, but maybe she would have to come to the other houses parties more often. "It's usually just us Slytherin's at those parties, and I don't get along with a good lot of them. Mostly just Penelope and a couple others."

"Grant Oscars seems to have a big interest in you," She looks down at her cup, not really wanting to talk about Grant. "But, he's not important right now. How about we go dance?" Ara nods, putting her drink down and taking James' hand as he leads her to the dance floor.

They danced for about a half hour before they took a break, sitting down on one of the sofas that were lined up on the walls of the room. James told Ara how they would move them to the side of the room when they would have parties like this. While they were sitting down they talked about how it was funny that their brothers had been friends since they both started here yet it took them this long to even talk to one another.

“So, how is your brother holding up with everything?” James asks, making Ara laugh sadly a little.

“I have no clue. He hasn’t talked to me since the beginning of term, back at King’s Cross. I think it’s because I remind him so much of Mum and he feels it should have been me and not her.”

“Don’t say that.” James says looking at me concerned. “Your brother loves you, trust me. I’ve heard Albus ramble on about how cool Scorpius’ sister is and how much they both wanted to be as good as you when it comes to magic. He’s just going through a hard time right now, but he’ll open back up to you. You may just have to wait.”

Ara wipes away some tears that had escaped from her eyes. “Thank you, James. I really needed that.” James brings his arm to be around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug that she dearly needed.

“It’s getting late, why don’t I walk you back to your dorm.” She nods as they both get up and head for the door, James having his hand on Ara’s back causing her to feel butterflies in her stomach. James’ hand remained at the small of her back until they got close to the dungeons, which James had never been this close to before. “You know, I’ve never been down here before.”

“Really?”

“I’ve never needed to.” James says, smiling at Ara.

“Guess it’ll be your last.” Grant comes out of the shadows of the dark corridor, making James grip Ara’s waist to make sure she stayed by his side. “You chose the wrong girl, Potter.”

“What do you want, Oscars?” Ara can tell that this isn’t going to end up well.

“For you to leave Ara alone.”

“And who says she wants me to?”

Grant looks over to Ara hoping that she would side with him on this, but he just kept her head down. “She doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into, I’m just trying to help her out.” Ara scoffs.

“She obviously doesn’t want you to. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been with me tonight, would she?” At this moment Ara started to realize where this was going, and it wasn’t going to end up well.

“You prick!” And just as if she had predicted the future, James pushed her out of the way as Grant threw a punch that knocked James back a bit. James wipes his nose, as blood was dripping down from it, smirking before carrying on the fight.

#james sirius potter #scorpius malfoy #harry potter x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter next generation #Draco Malfoy

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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You're All I Want (for Christmas), Part 2 (Branjie) - Kiki

A/N: Apologies in advance for all the sadness in this lol but the cute fluffy Christmas vibes will come back in the next (and final) part! Hope you enjoy!

Summary: A classic Christmas past, present and future fic. Brooke and Vanessa hit a major milestone in their relationship but it doesn’t take long for it all to come tumbling down around them.

2nd January 2019:

Brooke couldn’t believe her luck when she thought about how amazing the holiday season had been for her. 2018 had been the best year of Brooke’s life simply because that was when she met Vanessa and she couldn’t wait to see what 2019 had in store for them. Christmas had been amazing, they got to spend the entire day relaxing together and it was absolutely perfect. Then New Years Eve had come around and all of their relaxing times were officially over.

Detox had insisted they all went out to a massive party and while Brooke was reluctant (she had originally wanted to spend the evening with only Vanessa, not a bunch of strangers), they ended up having an amazing night. The next day, however, was not so amazing…simply because Brooke couldn’t handle alcohol like she used to.

Thankfully this morning she had woken up with her headache gone and her stomach settled. Which was good because she had an idea that had been on her mind ever since Vanessa gave her the promise ring. She wanted to buy an engagement ring for Vanessa.

As she sat on the subway on her way to the jewellery store she had chosen, she held her ring that was on the necklace in her hand. She found herself doing that a lot lately if Vanessa wasn’t around, it made her feel close to her and like Vanessa was always with her. It also brought her so much joy knowing that she would be wearing that exact ring when they got engaged. It was just a massive symbol of happiness and joy to her.

She knew that she couldn’t have a ring and not get Vanessa one. She also knew that throughout their relationship so far, she had always had it in her mind that she would be the one to propose. Even if they didn’t get engaged for a long time, she wanted to have the ring ready for whenever it felt like the right moment. She knew exactly what type of ring Vanessa would like, she had even called Vanessa’s mom and told her about her plan of buying the ring now and Mrs Mateo was thrilled about it. The only tricky part would be hiding the ring from Vanessa.

Brooke was usually very strict with her money. She didn’t like to spend a lot of it on herself, especially if it was on something that she didn’t desperately need. But there was something about Vanessa that made her want to spoil her and give her the best of everything. Thankfully, earning a lawyer’s salary allowed her to do that. When the cashier at the store told her the price of the ring, she didn’t even bat an eyelid. She just handed over her card and immediately started thinking of when she would actually propose. That was the most important thing…and there was no amount of money in the world that would make Brooke feel happier than she did when she thought about Vanessa.

—

12th March 2019:

It was exactly one year since Brooke and Vanessa had met. Detox’s birthday party last year had been something Brooke didn’t want to attend but was arguably one of the most important days of her life. And what were they doing to celebrate Detox’s birthday and to acknowledge knowing each other for an entire year? Going back to the exact same club that Detox had held her party at last year.

Considering Vanessa and Brooke Lynn had started dating pretty much immediately after meeting, it was coming up on their one-year anniversary which made the night all the more special for Vanessa. She loved anniversaries and birthdays (really any kind of event that celebrated something) and this was the perfect kind of party for her to celebrate her best friends’ birthday and her own relationship. She couldn’t wait. She had even asked Brooke if they could wear the same outfits as they did last year to properly recreate the night but Brooke had to firmly shut that idea down.

Detox had even managed to reserve the same booth in the club for her and her friends and they were overwhelmed by the nostalgia. Some of the group were sitting round the table sipping champagne (Detox was of course at the bar ordering shots) and talking about last year.

Nina was blushing remembering how drunk she had gotten. One year later and she was still extremely embarrassed about what had happened that night. Especially since everybody at the table was teasing her about it. After making fun of Nina for about ten minutes, the topic of conversation shifted to Brooke and Vanessa’s relationship, which delighted both of the girls. They both loved to talk about the other, their eyes lighting up in excitement anytime they got the opportunity to tell people stories about each other or quirky habits that the other one had. Detox had sworn that she had never seen Brooke as happy as she was when she was talking about Vanessa. She loved that both of her friends were so happy, even though she would never let them know that.

“At least you won’t have to leave and bring me home this year, Brooke!” Nina joked, earning a laugh from the rest of the table.

“No, she’ll be bringing me home this year instead.” Vanessa replied in a flirtatious tone and turned her head to the left where Brooke was sitting and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. The group laughed at Vanessa’s reply to Nina whereas Detox returned from the bar rolling her eyes at the couple. She was holding a tray of shots in her hand and Brooke was sure there was enough for everybody at the table to have at least four shots each. The only thing on Vanessa’s mind was excitement as she took her first shot, whereas the only thing Brooke could think about was how the hell Detox could afford this much alcohol.

Thirty minutes later, all of the shots were gone and Vanessa was onto her second vodka and cranberry. It was clear that Vanessa was going to be Detox’s favourite person to party with that night because Vanessa was already extremely tipsy and there was no way of stopping her once she got in this state. Brooke knew this was going to end badly.

Three hours later, Vanessa and Detox were unable to stand properly. They had spent so much time on the dancefloor drinking whatever alcohol they could get their hands on and Brooke could do nothing but laugh at the state that her girlfriend was in.

Brooke had to pick the shorter girl up and carry her to the uber that was waiting outside, praying that she wouldn’t vomit on their short ride home. Vanessa had said earlier that Brooke would end up bringing her home, but Brooke didn’t think this was the way that Vanessa had meant it.

—

29th July 2019:

Brooke was laying out on a towel, soaking up as much of the heat from the sun in Mexico that her pale skin would allow her to. It was her first ever vacation that she had taken with a girlfriend and she was so happy that girlfriend was Vanessa. There was no one else she would’ve wanted to experience this with. As she looked to the left, she lay eyes on her girlfriend sleeping on a sun lounger and in that moment, she knew. Tonight was going to be the night that she finally proposed to Vanessa.

Brooke had booked a candlelit dinner on a private area of the beach with the hotel’s concierge and she knew Vanessa would love it. It was the perfect level of intimacy and romance that Vanessa would appreciate. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was how nervous Brooke was feeling.

Realistically, she knew Vanessa would say yes. There were no doubts about that in Brooke’s mind. But she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at how much this proposal meant to her. Vanessa was her everything. She knew that Vanessa was too good for her and the fact that she was willing to settle for someone like Brooke absolutely blew her mind. But she had to be thankful and keep reminding herself that Vanessa loved her and she knew how lucky she was to have Vanessa be in love with her.

They were sitting at their table drinking red wine and just chatting about random when things when suddenly, Brooke couldn’t hold it in anymore. She was planning to propose just after they had finished their dessert but she couldn’t keep it in. She had to do it now. Brooke took Vanessa’s hand in hers and Vanessa stopped talking and looked up at Brooke.

“You okay, B?” Vanessa asked. She was concerned…her girlfriend looked like she was about to explode from anxiety.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay…go ahead.” Vanessa replied, already preparing herself for the worst.

“I…Vanessa, I love you so much. This past year has been the best year of my entire life and its all because of you. I don’t know how I lived 26 years without you in my life because now that I have you in my life, I know I never want you to not be a part of it. I know that you would do absolutely anything for me because that’s just the kind of person you are… you’re so kind, you’re caring, you’re everything that is good in this world and I don’t want to ever be without you. So, Nessa, will you please stay by my side forever? Will you marry me?” Brooke had taken the ring out of her pocket and was down on one knee so swiftly that Vanessa couldn’t believe it. She was sobbing after Brooke had only said one sentence. She was crying so much that she wasn’t able to get her words out, but eventually, she did.

“Yes, I’ll marry you!” Brooke cried as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa’s neck and they held each other close. They sobbed and said “I love you” about a hundred times before calming themselves down and feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness and excitement about what had just happened.

Brooke took the ring out of the box and placed it on Vanessa’s finger and she immediately wanted to cry about it again.

“Jesus Christ, B…it’s so beautiful.” Vanessa whispered in awe, staring at the diamond on her finger. Brooke smiled and was so pleased that Vanessa liked the ring she had chosen. Vanessa reached up to Brooke’s neck and took the necklace holding her engagement ring off of her. She slid the ring off of it and Brooke was so excited to finally have it on her finger. That ring has provided her with so much comfort over the last few months and she knew it would be on her finger for the rest of her life. She couldn’t wait to wear it forever.

—

24th September 2019:

Vanessa got home from work at 6pm to an empty apartment. She shouldn’t be surprised. Brooke had recently gotten a promotion and wasn’t at home as often as she used to be. She was always working late, working through lunch and sometimes even working the weekends.

Vanessa was happy for her. She knew how much that promotion had meant to her fiancé, how long she had been waiting for it and how much she had deserved it. But to Vanessa, it felt like ever since they got engaged, she had barely seen Brooke. She felt like the last time she had Brooke’s full, undivided attention was when they were on vacation in Mexico when Brooke didn’t have to worry about work deadlines or impressing her bosses. Vanessa wished she could have that Brooke back.

Brooke arrived home at nine thirty that night which was the earliest she had been home all week. Vanessa was sitting on the couch with Thackery watching a reality show that she was currently obsessed with. Brooke walked straight through to the kitchen without even saying hello to her girlfriend and Vanessa didn’t like that.

“Uh, hey? I still exist, I can’t even get a ‘hello’ from you?” Vanessa said angrily while Thackery broke her trust and ran over to Brooke to greet her. Brooke was in the process of heating up some leftovers in the microwave and scooped Thackery up as soon as he reached her.

“I’m so sorry, babe, hi! I haven’t eaten since breakfast, I’m sorry, I’m starved.” Brooke said as she gave Thackery a kiss on the forehead.

“Even the damn cat gets more attention from you than I do.” Vanessa replied grumpily as she turned the volume up on the show she was watching so she wouldn’t have to listen to Brooke.

“What was that?” Brooke asked, walking over to where Vanessa was sitting on the couch.

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, are you mad at me?,” Brooke arched her eyebrow and placed Thackery on his bed before sitting down beside Vanessa. Vanessa paused her show in annoyance and rolled her eyes at her girlfriend.

“Well, considering this is probably the longest you’ve been at home in months, then yeah…I guess you could say I’m mad at you.”

“Come on, V, you know that’s not true!”

“It is! Ever since you got your promotion I never see you anymore! We’re supposed to be engaged and I feel like I haven’t seen you properly in months.” Vanessa said with a hurt tone to her voice, she had wanted to bring this up in a responsible and calm way but she already didn’t like the path that this conversation was heading down.

“Really? You know that’s not my fault, Nessa! I can’t help it if I’m busier now!” Brooke could feel herself getting more defensive than she should be but she couldn’t help it. She had worked her ass of for that promotion and was extremely proud of herself for getting it. if Vanessa couldn’t see that, then that was on her.

“I know that, B…but it’s not normal for someone to work that much. Especially if they’ve got a fiancé. It’s been almost two months now since you proposed to me and we haven’t even discussed anything about the wedding.” A tear rolled down Vanessa’s face as she thought about her dream wedding that was just waiting for Brooke to start planning it with her. All she wanted was to live her life with Brooke by her side and this version of Brooke was starting to not be enough for her.

“Look, I’ll take the weekend off, okay? We can spend some time together then and I’ll try be less busy. Is that okay?” Brooke asked and Vanessa could tell it was just a way of trying to make her calm down. But it was the best she was going to get now.

“Yeah, that’s great, B.” Vanessa replied as she turned back on the show she was watching. Brooke ate her food at table alone and went straight to bed. When Vanessa joined her in the bedroom, she could tell Brooke wasn’t asleep but decided not to say anything. As her head hit her pillow, she realised this was the first night she had gone to bed without hearing Brooke say “I love you” to her in a very long time.

—

29th October 2019:

Vanessa was late. She had promised to have dinner cooked for Brooke at 8pm that night because they were making more of an effort to try and spend their evenings together but Vanessa had a meeting that ran late which consequently, made Vanessa arrive home later than she would have liked.

She opened the door to their apartment and noticed that all of the lights weren’t turned on and Thackery’s food and water bowls were empty. Brooke wasn’t even home yet either. With an eye roll, Vanessa took off her coat and immediately went to go feed Thackery his dinner.

As she was stirring the rice that she was having for dinner that night, Vanessa’s mind drifted back to the meeting she had earlier that day. Her boss had offered her a promotion where Vanessa would essentially be running an entire department of the fashion company she worked for. She’d be in charge of the designers whilst also approving and creating her own designs for the company’s collection. Essentially, it was her dream job. The only problem was, the job required her to move to Chicago.

With a sigh, she dished up her dinner and began to eat it alone. She knew that Brooke had her dream job in New York and there wasn’t even a chance of her moving to Chicago with her. She wouldn’t even dream of asking her to do that. The job would start on the 1st of December, so if she said yes, she’d have to leave in less than a month’s time to get settled in before she started working.

She took out Brooke’s laptop and started looking at apartments online. She knew this was dangerous, she shouldn’t be even entertaining the idea, but she was curious. Rent was a lot cheaper in Chicago. Almost half of what she was paying in New York. She just didn’t know what to do.

Thankfully, Vanessa had told her boss that she would need a couple of days to think about it. Realistically, she knew she would want to have a couple of days to think about it by herself and then a couple of days to psych herself up to talk to Brooke about it.

Vanessa couldn’t imagine living in another city, let alone without Brooke. She loved their apartment. She loved New York. She loved Brooke. So why was there a part of her that was considering accepting the offer?

—

31st of October 2019:

Vanessa was getting dressed up to go to her friend Yvie’s Halloween party. She had a super cute couple’s costume planned for her and Brooke to wear, but Brooke had cancelled on her at the last minute because of work. Yet again. She couldn’t believe that Brooke’s excuse for not going was solely because Halloween fell on a Thursday and Brooke didn’t want to be tired in work the next morning. Vanessa didn’t understand why she couldn’t even stop by for an hour or two but Brooke wouldn’t budge. When she said no, she meant it.

It was around 8pm when Vanessa had finished putting the final touches on her makeup and had started to work on her hair. As she wrapped her hair around the curling wand, she heard the door of the apartment open and heard Brooke’s heels clacking against the floor as she walked her way to their bedroom. Vanessa was slightly shocked that Brooke was home so early. It was the earliest Brooke had been home in weeks. A small part of her hoped that the reason Brooke had decided to come home early was that she had a change of heart and decided to join her at the party after all. But wow, did Vanessa get that one wrong.

“Why the hell were you looking at renting apartments in Chicago?” Brooke asked furiously. She had stormed into the bedroom so fast that Vanessa was a bit taken back by her speed. Vanessa let her hair fall from the curling wand and placed it on her desk so she didn’t burn herself. She was frozen in her seat; she had no idea what to say to Brooke. She knew she shouldn’t have kept this from Brooke and now Brooke was extremely angry.

She took a deep breath before she started to explain. “Basically, I got offered a promotion but I’d have to move to Chicago for it and I was just looking online out of curiosity to see—”

“And you didn’t even think to discuss this with me? We’re engaged, Vanessa! I feel like this is something we should’ve at least had a conversation about!,” Brooke yelled and Vanessa was speechless again. She knew something like this would’ve happened but she didn’t even bother to prevent it from happening. She just accepted that there would be an argument. “So what are you thinking of doing?” Brooke asked quietly and timidly, as if she was afraid of what Vanessa’s response was going to be.

“I think…I think I might take it.” Vanessa couldn’t even look Brooke in the eyes, she just stared at the floor.

“I can’t believe this. I cannot fucking believe this.” Brooke grabbed her coat and stormed out of the apartment without even looking back at Vanessa. All she could hear was the door slam and then Thackery came running into the bedroom to investigate what had happened. Vanessa picked him up and cuddled him close to her as she cried a little bit. She knew this was bad.

After Vanessa finished crying, she looked at the bed behind her and noticed that Brooke had left her phone on the bed. She tried to be mad at Brooke for not taking her phone with her when she was going out alone. Did she not know how dangerous that was? What if something happened? Now all Vanessa could do was worry.

She sent a quick text to Yvie, apologising that she couldn’t make it to the party after all. She climbed into bed with Brooke’s phone in her hands and decided that she wasn’t going to get any sleep at all that night so she might as well wait up for Brooke to come home. Then they could talk.

—

2nd of November 2019:

Two full days had passed and Vanessa still hadn’t heard from Brooke since she had stormed out on Halloween. The only form of contact she had received from her fiancé was a text from Nina to say that Brooke had decided to stay at her place for a while. Not even a phone call.

Vanessa was so angry and the only thing that had happened from Brooke being gone was the fact that it allowed Vanessa’s anger to grow and grow. Not only had she just left without saying where she was going, she hadn’t even been happy for Vanessa about her promotion. She knew she shouldn’t have kept it a secret from Brooke, that was wrong. But surely Brooke could’ve been at least a tiny bit happy for her? She knew if the roles were reversed, she would’ve been proud of Brooke, regardless of the situation.

It was in that moment that Vanessa decided that she had had enough of waiting around for Brooke to come home. She was going to go to Nina’s house and drag Brooke back to their apartment if she had to. She quickly threw on some jeans and a hoodie and just as she was putting her boots on, the door opened.

It was Brooke.

“Hi…” She said as she walked sheepishly over to the couch and sat down. Thackery immediately ran over to her and Brooke began to stroke his head gently. Vanessa stared at her in disbelief as she finally felt some sort of relief that Brooke had returned home safely.

“I think we need to have a talk, B…” Vanessa said softly and Brooke nodded her head in agreement.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Vanessa sat down in the armchair opposite where Brooke was sitting and there was an awkward silence in the room until Vanessa began to speak.

“Listen, Brooke, I’m so sorry for not telling you about it and I’m sorry you had to find out because I did it on your laptop but—”

“I think you should go to Chicago.” Vanessa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Out of all the things she thought Brooke might say, that response didn’t even come into her mind.

“You do?,” Vanessa asked and Brooke nodded her head slowly while avoiding eye contact with Vanessa. “Okay, well, long distance will be hard but we can talk on the phone all the time and we can fly out to visit each other every few weekends…”

“No, babe, that’s not what I mean,” Brooke said with a voice full of sadness. Vanessa looked at her in confusion so Brooke decided to just continue speaking. “I don’t want to be the one to hold you back, Ness. You should go to Chicago and…we should break up.” Brooke said the last part so quietly that she wasn’t sure if Vanessa had even heard her but, judging by the look on her face, Vanessa had heard.

She was in shock. So much shock. She couldn’t believe Brooke was trying to break up with her right now…over a stupid job offer.

“I can find a smaller apartment here fast enough; I’ll be out of your way so you can pack up all your stuff for your move.” Brooke spoke like she was closing a business deal and not like she was breaking off an engagement and that really hurt Vanessa.

“Why are you doing this, Brooke?” Vanessa said with tears in her eyes and if Vanessa looked very closely, she could see that Brooke was holding back tears too.

“Because I think it’s what right in this situation.” Brooke replied and Vanessa held her breath to stop herself from exploding in anger.

“Don’t I get a say in this?,” Vanessa asked loudly and Brooke flinched at how loud her voice was. Brooke didn’t respond to Vanessa’s question, which only made Vanessa’s anger grow. “If long distance is the issue here, I can turn down the job, Brooke. It’s not worth ending our whole fucking relationship because of this!”

“No.” Brooke stated firmly as she wiped a tear away from her eyes.

“No?” Vanessa questioned, standing up and putting her hand on her hip.

“I can’t be the reason you turn down your dream job,” Brooke got up from the couch and stood right in front of Vanessa. “If we don’t break up, this relationship is going to turn toxic so quickly and we’re going to end up hating each other.”

“So this is your final decision?” Vanessa asked. On the outside, she looked like she didn’t give a shit what happened but on the inside, she was begging Brooke to change her mind.

“Yeah…it is.”

“Well then, I guess you were right when you said that we’d start to hate each other. Because I really hate you for doing this to me.” Vanessa grabbed her jacket and her bag and stormed out of the apartment in tears. All Brooke wanted to do was go after her but she knew she shouldn’t. They weren’t together anymore.

—

11th of November 2019:

Vanessa’s sister Alexis had agreed to come to the apartment with Vanessa to pack up all of her stuff before she left New York. It wasn’t a big apartment and Vanessa didn’t have that much stuff; she knew she could easily pack it all up in a day with no help. But being in that apartment alone would break her and she would spend the entire day crying. That’s why she needed her sister there to take her mind off of it and force her to get it all done and packed up.

Brooke was at work, thank God, so Vanessa didn’t have to worry about seeing her again. She didn’t know what she would do if that happened.

The majority of Brooke’s stuff was gone when Vanessa had arrived, apart from a few boxes that Brooke said she would pick up later when Vanessa was gone. It made Vanessa feel weird seeing their apartment so empty. She always pictured that when they moved out of the apartment, it would be to a house where they would spend the rest of their lives. She never imagined it would end like this.

Brooke had sent Vanessa a text saying that since Thackery was a gift to Vanessa, she should be the one to keep him. Of course, Vanessa was absolutely overjoyed that she didn’t have to lose Thackery too, he was like her baby. But she couldn’t help but feel angry that Brooke had just given him up so willingly. That she had just given Vanessa up so willingly.

As Vanessa finished packing up the last box of kitchen utensils, she had tears in her eyes. This was really it. She had packed her entire life up in just a few hours. 18 months of memories in their home vanished before her eyes.

“Are you sure you’re making the right decision here, Vanjie?” Alexis asked, rubbing her younger sisters back comfortingly while she cried.

“No…but it’s what Brooke Lynn wants and I can’t force her to be in a relationship with me. So it’s what’s happening.” After crying on the floor for a further thirty minutes, Vanessa regained herself and stood up. They began bringing the boxes downstairs in the elevator and once Alexis had taken the last box out of the apartment, Vanessa knew there was one thing she had to leave behind.

She took her engagement ring out of her pocket and left it on Brooke’s nightstand. Maybe she could return it and get her money back. Vanessa didn’t care what she did with it. As long as she didn’t have to look at it anymore, she was happy. As she closed the door to the apartment behind her with Thackery in her arms, she didn’t know what to expect from her new life in Chicago. She just hoped that it wouldn’t leave her as heartbroken as New York had.

—

22nd of December 2019:

The law firm that Brooke Lynn worked at had decided to close for a full two weeks during the Christmas period to allow their employees to have a well-deserved rest. To the majority of her colleagues, this had been amazing news. They got to spend so much time with their families over the holiday period and didn’t have to think about work until the new year. But for Brooke, this couldn’t have come at a worse time.

She was having to spend an entire day alone for the first time since Vanessa had moved to Chicago.

She had thrown herself into her work as soon as she had broken up with Vanessa, even more so than before the break up. She worked from 8am until 10 o’clock at night. She worked weekends and even took on more cases than she usually would just to ensure that she always had something to do. She didn’t want even a second to be alone with her thoughts because if she had that time, she wouldn’t recover from it.

Working pretty much all the time had its rewards: she had received yet another pay increase as well as a lot of recognition from the owners of the company. But none of that made her happy. She just felt empty. Empty like the apartment she was currently sitting in.

She had moved in at the beginning of December and she still hadn’t gotten around to unpacking everything, she had made herself that busy. As she looked around the tiny apartment, she felt awful. For the first time that month, she allowed herself to feel. All she wanted was Vanessa. But she knew she couldn’t have her.

She always knew that Vanessa was too good for her. The idea that Vanessa would be willing to give up her dream job for Brooke didn’t sit right with her. She just knew that Vanessa would end up resenting her for it down the line…and she couldn’t have that. She would rather let Vanessa go now and let her enjoy her life to the fullest instead of staying with her and getting married and then have Vanessa only realise what a mistake she had made after a couple of years had gone by. Vanessa didn’t deserve that. It was better this way. It had to be.

She lay down on the couch with a glass of Pinot Grigio in her hand and she knew that this was exactly how she would be spending the entire holiday season. Alone and miserable, on her couch with a glass of wine.

She took out her phone and went to the photo app. She knew this was a mistake but she couldn’t stop herself. There were pictures of their first date, of when they got Thackery, of when they got engaged. As Brooke sobbed, she locked her phone and downed the wine. It was then that she realised she had made the worst mistake of her entire life.

—

25th of December 2020:

Vanessa lit her Christmas scented candle in her new apartment and snuggled up on the couch under a warm, fuzzy blanket. She was trying to make the atmosphere around her seem very festive to hide the fact that she was miserable spending Christmas by herself.

Her mom had planned on coming to stay with her but her grandmother in Puerto Rico was super sick and Vanessa knew that her mom wouldn’t forgive herself if something happened to her grandma and she wasn’t there for it. She understood why she was alone. But just because she understood it did not mean she was okay with it.

She never imagined that she would ever have to spend Christmas by herself. She had no gifts to give to anyone and she certainly hadn’t received any. She hadn’t even made any friends at her new job yet. She was completely by herself.

Work was a lot more difficult than she thought it would be. There were a lot of new things she had to get used to and she definitely hadn’t settled in yet. She missed Brooke. She missed the familiarity of New York City. She missed knowing which restaurants were really good and which ones she should avoid. She missed having last minute plans and hanging out with her friends at a moments notice. She even just missed watching movies with Brooke in their apartment with Thackery cuddled up in between them.

To make matters worse, Thackery had not adapted to the new apartment at all. He simply had not gotten used to being in a new place. Vanessa couldn’t blame him, neither had she. He spent most of his time trying to escape from the apartment and when he wasn’t doing that, he was angrily meowing at the door. Vanessa had to give him attention at every second and if she stopped, he would have a meltdown. Vanessa knew the feeling.

She came to the conclusion that Thackery missed his other mom. She sat down on the kitchen floor with a bottle of tequila and Thackery by her side.

“I know, baby, I miss her too.”

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #christmas fic #christmas #lesbian au #kiki #you're all I want for christmas #submission

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notapaladin · 3 years

Text

life is a road and i wanna keep going

“I will write a fic for Acatl’s birthday!” i say, a month and change AFTER his...actual...birthday. (February 24th, mark y’all’s calendars for next year). I do not plan ahead. Anyway, have some fluff.

also on AO3

Acatl woke up cold, alone, and with a nagging feeling that he’d forgotten something. The first two were normal—it was the tail end of the dry season, after all—but the third wasn’t. His memory was usually a reliable thing.

The conch shells were still blaring outside, heralding the dawn. He made his devotions to the gods, hoping the pain would jar loose whatever it was. There were no festivals he needed to prepare for, it wasn’t market day or any of his siblings’ birthdays, and his temple had been refreshingly free of any suspicious deaths for a while, so what…?

Nothing sprung to mind. Pinching his ears to stop the flow of blood, he went to wash his face and hands. There was a thin skin of ice on the surface of the basin, and he broke it with a muttered curse. As he bent his head, a lock of loose hair fell into his eyes.

There was a sliver of white in it. No. I have to have seen wrong.

He hadn’t.

He scrubbed at his skin quickly and rifled through his hair until he’d separated the offending strand—no, two strands. Two. He would have bet a fistful of cacao beans that neither had been there yesterday. He heaved a disgusted sigh and yanked his hair back, tying it tightly out of his face and his sight. But not being able to see it didn’t mean he could forget it was there. I’m getting old. The thought was disquieting. He was barely into his thirties, for the Duality’s sake, and surely it was too soon for him to become decrepit.

When he rose to his feet, his knees complained. Apparently it wasn’t. Wonderful, he thought sourly. Just wonderful.

But then he stepped out into his courtyard and found it occupied, and despite himself his gray mood started to lift. Teomitl sat under the tree, looking fresh-faced and lovely as the dawn, and when his gaze lighted on Acatl he beamed. “Good morning.”

He frowned back at him. Yes, of course he was happy to see him, but there really wasn’t a reason he could think of for the man to be here. It was far too early for his usual lunchtime intrusion—which, admittedly, had become less of an intrusion and more of a pleasant routine reminder that he was indeed supposed to eat something, even if Teomitl did keep scowling when he told him that. There had been no recent damage to the boundaries, and if anything had happened to Mihmatini he knew very well that Teomitl wouldn’t be smiling about it. Maybe he just wants to see you, whispered a voice in his mind. He ignored it, as well as the resulting butterflies in his stomach.

“...Teomitl, what are you doing here?”

Teomitl all but bounced to his feet. That smile was downright infectious, and he had to look away before it caught him too. Then Teomitl spoke, and all chances of that were over. “I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy birthday.”

“A what.” Acatl blinked at him, hearing the words but not understanding them. Wait. Wait. Yesterday was Five Grass, which means today is...oh, gods. He’s right. At midnight, he’d became another year older. And it had slipped his mind entirely. I am getting old.

“...Did you…” Teomitl stared back incredulously. “You forgot your own birthday?”

He dropped his gaze to the ground, feeling his heart thump hard against his ribs. “It’s not important.” It was never important. He was a priest, sworn to give his life to the gods; ever since the day he’d announced his vocation, even his own family hadn’t done more than mildly remark upon it. It would have bothered him more if there hadn’t been so many other, worse reminders of their disapproval.

“Of course it is.” Teomitl drew himself up to his full height, eyes narrowed in a way that dared Acatl to say otherwise

He didn’t. His heart was hammering too fiercely. He cares. And yes, he’d known that—it was hard not to, with all the little reminders that Teomitl had no intention of leaving his life unless Acatl threw him bodily out of it—but it felt more real, now. The hope that he’d ruthlessly beaten back was cautiously trying to raise its head again. “I…”

Teomitl smiled, faint and victorious; clearly, he’d realized there would be no arguing on this point. “You’ve survived another year of everything Tizoc’s reign has thrown at us. That’s deserving of celebration.”

“...That explains it,” he muttered. Even without any major catastrophes, the constant awareness of paper-thin boundaries and a singularly unworthy Emperor were enough to turn any man’s hair white.

“Hm?”

He felt his face heat. “Nothing.”

And now Teomitl was scowling lightly at him. “Acatl.”

He’d promised himself that he would never lie to him, even over something as embarrassing as his own vanity—and it was vanity, which seemed even more ridiculous now with the pulse point of Teomitl’s presence beating under his ribs. “...I thought I was too young for gray hair. I was mistaken.”

Teomitl shook his head dismissively and stepped closer. Acatl suddenly noticed that his courtyard was much smaller than he’d thought it was; from this distance, he could pick out the myriad shades in Teomitl’s dark eyes. He hastily averted his gaze, but not before catching the edge of Teomitl’s frown as the man informed him, “You’re only thirty-two. That’s not old.”

“Older than you,” he pointed out with what was perhaps a bit of a justified huff in his voice. There were times it didn’t bother him. There were even times he forgot entirely; Teomitl swam in the political currents of the palace like an ahuitzotl, and it always made him question which of them was the younger. But a man was entitled to feel his age when his hair started showing it, Duality curse him.

“...I don’t mind. Gray hair makes you look distinguished.” Teomitl shrugged with feigned carelessness, a faint tinge of color in his cheeks. Before Acatl could ask what on earth he meant by that, he continued, “Anyway. I, uh. I thought maybe...I could buy you something to eat? If you’re not busy. Today should be the day that Cozcatl’s running her mother’s tamale stall, and I know you love her cooking.”

Cozcatl made tamales that could wake the dead. She did things with chilies that would have made the head imperial chef weep for joy. They weren’t expensive or extravagant, nothing that would make it onto the palace banquet tables, but if Acatl hadn’t been a priest, he thought sometimes that he might have married her for her food alone.

He found himself smiling. “...Thank you.”

The temple could manage without him for a single morning. It was his birthday, after all.

- -

The Sacred Precinct was busy as it always was, but the city beyond it was even more so. Neither he nor Teomitl had dressed formally—though Teomitl’s crimson cloak and the gold in his ears marked him as a man of imperial blood, drawing more admiring eyes than just Acatl’s—so the jostling crowd meant they had to stick close together. Even though it warmed him from the inside out each time their arms brushed, he didn’t mind.

He should have minded. He was being selfish, wanting what he couldn’t have; his face burned all over again when fingers brushed his arm and he thought fleetingly of catching them in his own. Teomitl was a dozen years younger than him, soon to be Revered Speaker, and married to his sister. It wasn’t so very long ago that he’d been Acatl’s student. That had mattered once.

Teomitl cast him a sideways, smiling glance. “I know you don’t want a celebration, but I should probably warn you that Neutemoc is going to invite you to dinner.”

Neutemoc’s favorite way of celebrating birthdays when they’d been children had been to heave him into the nearest canal and run away laughing before he could wrestle him in too. He closed his eyes briefly. “Ah.”

“I thought you probably wouldn’t like it. I wanted to treat you to something from the palace kitchens instead.��

He shook his head, redirecting the little bubble of joy from the idea of Teomitl thinking so much about him to something more appropriate. “No, that’s fine. It will be good to see the children again.”

“Mm-hmm.” Teomitl’s smile turned fond and wistful, as it always did when they lit on the topic of Acatl’s nieces and nephews; though the age gap between him and his brothers meant he’d been an uncle himself practically since birth, evidently it was a different matter entirely when it involved the family he’d married into. The first time Mazatl had called him Uncle Teomitl unprompted, he’d beamed so happily that Acatl had fallen in love all over again. “I can’t believe how tall Necalli’s getting! Soon he’ll be looking me in the eye. Time’s flown.”

Strands of silver in his hair. Teomitl smiling on the temple steps, meeting him as one man to another. The tidal shift when he’d looked at him—gods, he couldn’t even remember what the occasion had been, some meal where Teomitl had been wiping crumbs off his hands and chuckling at Acatl’s first truly honest description of what he thought about Quenami—and instead of garden-variety fondness he’d thought oh and Duality preserve me, I love you.

“It has.” Things changed, and sometimes it was for the better.

The sun was warm, but not as warm as the look in Teomitl’s eyes.

He had to turn his face away again; the crowd around them and the noise of a living city in his ears wouldn’t let him forget they were in public, and he focused on that and not the occasional slide of their cloaks against each other’s limbs. Gradually he became aware that they weren’t alone—that as they made their way through the markets to Cozcatl’s stall, a group of men with the bearing and battle scars of Jaguar Knights were attempting to follow them unobtrusively and not doing a very good job of it.

He cast a glance in Teomitl’s direction and saw him unbothered. It didn’t help. “Are the guards really necessary?”

“For you? Yes.” Teomitl’s quick smile was far too innocent. “You can’t deny you tend to attract danger.”

“Hmph,” he muttered, and forcibly bit back the part of him that wanted to ask is that why you’re still around, then? It felt too close to flirtation for him to risk. Remember Mihmatini, he thought—but remembering Mihmatini didn’t help, because then his memory was happy to dredge up the conversation with her where she’d maintained unwavering eye contact as she’d told him that she and Teomitl had come to an agreement and she didn’t care if her husband had feelings for anyone else, and her gaze had been far too searching for comfort.

Before Teomitl could say anything else that could make his heart feel dangerously soft and open, he spied a familiar striped awning set over a broad window and made a beeline towards it. He could have found Cozcatl’s stall if he were blind and operating on smell alone, but the awning did help.

The woman herself was indeed setting out the morning’s selection of flatbreads and tamales, and beamed at them as they approached. Cozcatl was a little older than he was, a widow with three young children and a wide streak of gray in her hair, but her crooked-toothed smile made her beautiful. “Good morning, my lords! Will you be having your usual?”

He took a moment to look over the steaming pots and their maize-wrapped offerings. “If you have it, yes.”

She looked very much as though the idea of her not having their usual orders—fish with chili for Acatl and cactus fruit with honey for Teomitl—was laughable, but only smiled as she handed them over and Teomitl, as was his custom, paid her far too much for them.

Acatl blinked at the two tamales in his hands; he’d accepted them without thinking, but he was sure he’d only ordered one. “Ah, you gave me an extra.”

She waved him off. “It’s a gift.”

As they walked away, Teomitl grinned at him. “I think she likes you.”

He unwrapped one tamale and took a bite, closing his eyes in bliss. Ah, there was the flaky fish, the shreds of bitter greens, the sharp heat of the chilies. Delicious. Then Teomitl’s words registered, and he glared at him as he swallowed. “She does not. She was just being polite.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Teomitl huffed. “You’re a likable man, Acatl.”

“I…” It was rank flattery, just on the verge of being an outright lie—even if Teomitl seemed to be fond enough of him, it was hardly as though anyone else was lining up to agree—but it wasn’t anger that made him flush and fall silent. Teomitl’s tone hadn’t been teasing or mocking in the least; he’d said it as simply as he might have remarked on the weather, and it struck him to the core. I am short-tempered and petty and pessimistic, and he looks past all that and calls me likable. He could have melted on the spot.

Of course, then Teomitl commented, “I wonder what she would have done if I’d told her it was your birthday?” and that effectively slaughtered the moment in cold blood.

“Gods, please don’t.” Even the idea made an embarrassed flush crawl across the back of his neck.

“I won’t!” And Teomitl smiled, all sunshine. “What do you want to do now that we’ve gotten something to eat?”

He took another bite of his tamale, humming in pleasure at the bright burst of chili across his tongue. “I should check on my temple.”

“Alright, then we’ll go back there and—” Teomitl cut himself off as they turned a corner, the indistinct shouting they’d been hearing suddenly much louder and immediate. It seemed that a pen full of turkeys had gotten loose; since they were disinclined to remain caged, half the market was now engaged in either trying to catch them or figuring out who to blame for it. “...It’s a nice day. Let’s take the long way around.”

“...Good idea.”

The alternate route past the markets took them along a narrow canal that would fit perhaps two boats abreast. The streets were narrow here too, which meant that though there was no one around he still had an excuse for walking closer to Teomitl’s side than propriety dictated. He was happily listening to a tale of how hunters in Maya lands had brought a black jaguar and a white crocodile all the way to the House of Animals and agreeing that yes, he would like to see them when something in the water caught his eye.

“Is that—” he began.

And then the tlilcoatl latched its jaws around his ankle and pulled him into the canal.

“Acatl!”

Teomitl’s scream followed him, but he was in no shape to respond. Tlilcoatls were massive black serpents, a full armspan around with venomous fangs and jaws that could swallow a person whole, but the real danger was in their coils. If it pinned his arms, it would crush him to death. Frantically he tried to reach his knives, but the serpent had dragged him under before he could even take a breath, and his lungs were already burning.

And then it looped a coil around his chest, and he knew he was doomed. He still struggled, but it was the uncoordinated flailing of a desperate, dying man.

Pain.

Black spots in front of his vision.

The sudden bright bloom of ichorous blood in the water, and the coils around him jerking as something struck them. Teomitl…?

He renewed his efforts, but the snake weighed more than he did and its throes of pain were churning the mud at the bottom of the canal, making it impossible for him to tell which way was up. But there was Teomitl’s hand holding a knife and glimmering with Huitzilopochtli’s power, and there was another crimson bloom in the water, and suddenly the serpent’s coils went slack and his limbs were free.

Strong hands grabbed him under his arms and hauled him towards sunlight, and he broke the water with a gasp. Nothing felt broken, but everything hurt. His leg was a snarl of pain, and if Teomitl hadn’t been supporting him he never would have made it to dry land. Even when he did, it was some time before he could finish coughing up water and get back on his feet. It was early in the season for tlilcoatls; they usually came with the rains, and ones this size were thankfully rare.

He looked down at his ankle. Painful and bloody, but it bore his weight and wasn’t turning black, and he could still think clearly enough. A dry bite, then. The snake’s forked tail had caught Teomitl across the ribs, leaving two nasty-looking slashes he was currently prodding clinically at; it made Acatl bite his lip in agitation, but since he wasn’t wheezing or clenching his teeth in pain he probably hadn’t broken a rib. Probably. Gods, let him not be too badly hurt. I couldn’t bear it if he was.

Teomitl clearly had other concerns. He pressed his cloak to the wounds and huffed, “Well, that wasn’t the birthday present I’d had planned for you. Are you alright?” and all Acatl could do was stare.

The words flowed like tar through his mind. A birthday present. That’s right. I’m thirty-two today. I found gray hair this morning. Today’s my birthday, and Teomitl...Teomitl wanted to celebrate...

And then he burst out laughing. He was aware it was vaguely hysterical, but he couldn’t seem to stop. “A birthday present—” His laughter was a wheezing, near-silent thing that turned his face red and had been known to startle small children, and he literally couldn’t remember the last time it had been startled out of him. He might have snapped or screamed or stormed off, but Teomitl’s words had jarred him into hilarity instead. It was just too much, the last straw for his mind. Oh, my sweet man. My beloved.

His legs folded under him, and he crumpled slowly to the ground—now Teomitl was looking concerned, but he could no more have stopped laughing than he could have flown. It felt like an eternity before he could wheeze anything reassuring through an aching stomach and too-tense ribs. There were tears in his eyes. “Ah...hah, forgive me...it was just...the snake on top of everything else, and the way you said it—”

Teomitl smiled at him, warm and...gods, he could almost call that look tender, and it made his heart flutter. “It’s more than alright. Come on, let’s—”

“My lord!”

Ah. There were the Jaguar Knights, far too late to be of any help. They took in their charges’ soaking wet and bloodstained appearances with shock that only lasted a moment before they registered that Teomitl was deeply unhappy with them, and then it was replaced by very sensible and appropriate terror. After angrily commandeering their cloaks, he ordered them into the canal to drag out the tlilcoatl’s corpse before it could pollute the waters and then dropped to his knees by Acatl’s side, slicing the thick cotton for bandages and muttering viciously under his breath. There was some truly impressive profanity involved. As Acatl let himself be bandaged, he found himself smiling despite the pain. Some things didn’t change.

“There. How do you feel?”

Teomitl didn’t quite look at him. Acatl hoped he wasn’t blaming himself. But he flexed his foot and it didn’t hurt any more than it had already, so he couldn’t see why. They were both reasonably unhurt; Teomitl’s side had already stopped bleeding. There was nothing the man should have been castigating himself for, not after saving his life.

“I’m fine,” he said, and meant it.

- -

Teomitl didn’t speak again until they made it back to his house, though Acatl could feel simmering frustration pouring off him in waves. It felt a little like walking next to an unleashed jaguar, though the growling was replaced by stony silence and a steady flexing of his hands as though he’d like to wrap them around someone’s throat. Acatl wasn’t sure whether to comfort him or keep his distance.

Then they limped into his courtyard and Teomitl stopped, turning to meet his eyes directly. “...Acatl, I’m sorry.”

He blinked, trying to remember if they’d had a disagreement recently. He’d said he was fine. “For what?”

“Well, my guards are incompetent, for one thing. And…” Teomitl dropped his gaze. As Acatl watched, he started to blush. Gods, it was so much more appealing than it should have been. “I wanted…” He gestured helplessly, nothing at all like his usual stabbing motions, and visibly groped for his next words. “I wanted the day to be good for you.”

Oh, he thought. He felt like he was melting all over again, and for a moment he wavered on his feet with the sheer force of the love that pulsed through him. “It was.” He was bloodstained, sore, and still hungry, but he remembered the sweet pain of that laughter and all the myriad ways Teomitl had shown he cared for him.

“But—” Teomitl bit his lip and fell silent, looking so disappointed that it yanked on all of Acatl’s heartstrings.

He couldn’t blame what he did next on pity. Love and desire, yes, but not pity. His mind simply went from I want to make him smile again to the lightning-flash realization of I can do that in an instant, and without a second thought, he reached over and took Teomitl’s hand in both of his.

He felt his heart skip a beat as the man met his eyes and slowly—so slowly—started to smile. He’d been right. Words spilled out of his mouth, raw with the truth. “You were there by my side. So far, I’ve had a wonderful day.”

The very edge of that slow smile turned teasing. “...Only so far?”

He huffed, feeling impossibly fond even as a spike of honesty prompted him to murmur, “Well, it could always get worse.”

Teomitl took a step forward, well into his personal space, and lowered his voice. “It could get better, too.”

He still hadn’t let go of Teomitl’s hand. It could get better was a meaningless platitude, the sort of thing that was easy to dismiss—but not when Teomitl was looking at him like that, with so much warmth in his gaze that even the thought of it heated his blood in return. He would have dismissed flirtation; he wasn’t someone to be played with and set aside. But Teomitl’s gaze was as steady and direct as it ever was, and it made him swallow hard. “...How so?”

“Well, I was going to take you on a tour of the palace gardens, but now...I’m not sure.” Teomitl shrugged almost carelessly, but the spark in his eyes was anything but. “Maybe we could find out. Together.”

The coward’s way would be to drop Teomitl’s hand and this line of conversation, to go inside and lay down before he fell over. He was done with being a coward. Amazed at his own daring, his heart hammering against his ribs, he whispered, “Maybe we could. I’m sure you have a few ideas.”

“Mmm. I do. Do you want to hear them?” They were very close now, and Teomitl leaned in closer. Warm breath puffed gently across his face.

He wasn’t sure he was breathing himself. He had to lick his lips several times before they were moist enough for him to speak. “Yes.”

The brush of lips against his own felt like a hummingbird’s wings—that soft, and that fast. By the time Acatl blinked, Teomitl had already pulled away. His voice was barely audible as he breathed, “Well?”

So this was what it felt like to live in a world where Teomitl had kissed him. The breeze was cold, but the sun was warm on his back and the hand in his was warmer yet. His ankle still throbbed, but the pain was bearable. A loose lock of hair in front of his face showed him yet another gray strand. His breath came slow and measured, his heart thumping like a great drum in his chest.

“I think,” he murmured, “that we should continue this inside.”

They did.

All in all, it was an excellent birthday.

#obsidian and blood #acatl #teomitl #teocatl #paladin writes stuff

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revlyncox · 3 years

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Naming Our Joy

Taking note of all of the things that make us happy - large and small - is a helpful practice. This Platform Address was written for the Washington Ethical Society, June 20, 2021.

We started a project at our house on June 1. Even though we’re not yet back to spending a whole afternoon indoors at the library with the children, we wanted to collectively celebrate the experience of a summer reading club. The kids used several sheets of flip chart paper to draw one hundred rectangles, plus doodles and illustrations and instructions for a shared reading chart. Everyone in the house has their own color of magic marker to color in a rectangle with the name of a book as we complete it. Reading, for us, is a delight. Asking each other questions about what we’re reading is a love-language. And so, as the rectangles have bloomed in six different colors throughout the month so far, each one has been a small notation of joy.

Sometimes we think about the seasons of our joy only in terms of peak experiences. We think of the Winter Festival, or New Year’s Eve, or the state fair, each a symbolic splash on a monthly page in the scrapbooks in our minds. If you’re a person who celebrates birthdays, maybe that’s an important milestone. Maybe camping or travel or visiting family we can rarely see sticks out in our minds as we anticipate our hopes for the year ahead. These are all good things. And yet peak experiences are not the only things that bring us joy.

It seems to me that paying attention to all of the things that bring us joy can help carry us through times of transition. Many things in our shared lives are improving, and we’ll get back to some of our favorite big, celebratory events in adapted ways; meanwhile, let’s value all of the things that keep us grounded in the best of who we are and who we can be. Today, as we hang on the cusp of summer, celebrating parents and graduates and weddings and pride, yet still aching from a difficult year and a half, let’s open our minds and hearts to all the forms of joy we can name.

Today’s story, “A List,” from Frog and Toad Together by Arnold Lobel, gives some hints about how to notice joy. The attention to detail in this story, the room Lobel makes in the narrative for pause, and the enduring friendship that is the focus of the entire series are all helpful lessons for us as we gather up sparks of happiness in our own lives, fireflies that may be only with us for a moment, but whose lights we can remember for years. From this story, I learn that small things count, that it’s important to rest and reset, and that we can find joy when we travel together.

Small Things Count

As we are naming our joy, small things count. Frog begins his day by checking off tasks like, “get dressed” and “eat breakfast.” Those things matter. There are days when self-care is a victory, and days when we need to practice self-compassion because those tasks are out of reach. In some ways, it’s a practice of mindfulness, of paying attention to where we are in the moment. As we dress, we can notice the feeling of fabric on skin, and we can hold in loving kindness all those who saw to the completion of that garment.

I think back to times when celebrating small things got me through the day, or helped me inch toward a distant goal, or just brought me back to center after being knocked off balance by the regular turns of daily life. After my children were born, I decided to give fitness walking and running a try. I had never done that before - my favorite team sports up until that time were swimming and frisbee - but something about taking time for myself with my headphones every day was appealing at that point in my life. So I got a “couch to 5K” application on my phone to help guide me through workouts that started very small, and gradually increased until I could participate in a whole race.

The first couple of days were frustrating. I felt like I spent more time lacing up my shoes than I did actually running. But eventually, because there were records, I could look back and see my stamina increasing over time. Not every day, because some days are better than others, but over time there was improvement. I could celebrate when I could run rather than walk for a whole minute, and then a whole five minutes. When I was able to value the time I spent on the practice, even if all I could do that day was walk around the block, I had more energy to keep going. I did get to run in a race eventually. I have since switched to a different form of exercise for my regular workouts, because I have age-appropriate knees, but I did learn something about finding joy in small achievements. Sometimes we need to work up to things gradually, and when there are setbacks we need to work up gradually again. Writing down the joys and the milestones can help.

Focusing on the positive aspects of the experience and on the signs of improvement helped me sustain a practice. The same can be true for groups. I think people at WES have experienced Appreciative Inquiry before. Sometimes we think of Appreciative Inquiry in terms of a meeting or an event or a process of discernment, it’s also a paradigm shift in our organizational life together, a perspective where we lift up and leverage strengths rather than focusing on deficits. The philosophy of Appreciative Inquiry was developed by David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastva at Case Western Reserve University in the early 1990s. So Appreciative Inquiry has been around for awhile now, and there are newer ideas we need to incorporate about competing value systems and multicultural competency, yet I think it is worth returning to an approach where we ask questions about what’s working and build a positive vision for a future we can move toward together. To bring out the best we can be, we need to identify and nurture what’s best right now.

As our community gradually re-emerges from the pandemic and builds toward a new normal of accessibility, inclusion, compassion, and justice, we will face setbacks, and the speed of our hopes may outpace the reality of how fast we can go without leaving people behind. Let’s find joy in each moment, each time we find ourselves sharing time or space or intention. When you appreciate something about WES going forward, write it down. Ask questions about how members can keep doing what you do well. Share your excitement about small things with others. Make a list, because small things count.

Rest and Reset

The second thing we learn from Frog and Toad about naming our joy is that we can rest and reset. The first thing on Toad’s list is “wake up.” That’s what makes it the beginning of the list. Every day is new. The last thing on the list is “go to sleep.” Toad does not take for granted that he will automatically remember to rest at the end of the day, he puts it on a list. Maybe some of us need a reminder sometimes, to care for our bodies instead of pushing to do one more thing. And when he doesn’t know what else to do, Toad pauses. Now, as the reader, we can imagine that it would also have been a fine choice for Toad to let go of his attachment to his list and either help Frog try to find it or create a new plan, and maybe that’s something some of us need to hear as well, but I also have some admiration for a character who will simply pause rather than rushing into the next thing without consideration.

We’ve talked before at WES about the tension between our focus on “deeds, not creeds,” and the philosophical foundation of the inherent worth and dignity of every person--value that people simply have without earning it. What we do, and the impact we have, is of greater concern than the intentions of our minds or the secrets of our hearts. Yet we cannot forget that worth is inherent, even if we or our neighbors haven’t achieved any great deeds lately. So I hope we can encourage ourselves and each other to rest. People need time to bask in their inherent worth; to notice the beauty of the people and world around them and within them; and to care for their own valuable, precious being. It may be the case that allowing rest for ourselves will also remind us of the inherent worth of others, and will lead us to create a world where every person can have what they need rather than putting up obstacles to separate the worthy from the unworthy. Rest may give us a foretaste of the Beloved Community. Rest creates room for the experience of joy.

The reset part is also important. We can experience time as a kind of river, and there are ways in which the past and the future flow into one another, yet most of us experience time as moving. The past and the present and the future are connected, but they are different from one another. Rest gives us an island in the river so that we can separate them, looking back and looking forward and looking around us so that we can differentiate what was from what is and from what we anticipate will be. Things that brought us joy in the past are worth remembering fondly, but that doesn’t mean repeating the same thing will bring us the same joy or is even possible. Being present in the here and now, resting in the sense of not striving or problem solving or planning or fixing, helps us experience what is bringing us joy right now, without diminishing that joy with comparison to the past or the future. Frog and Toad go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow they will take another walk, or go swimming, or grow a garden, or write a letter. But the comfort of being in that moment is where we pause at the end of that chapter, and pausing helps us value the joy in that moment. Rest and reset to highlight the joy of the present moment.

Travel Together

A third thing we learn from Frog and Toad is that traveling together can help us amplify joy. The thing on Toad’s to-do list that transforms his day is meeting up with Frog. As companions, they support each other in new discoveries, they affirm each other, and sometimes they can be of service to their friend in a way that brings its own kind of joy. When Frog sees the list, he says, “Oh, that is very nice.” Frog appreciates the project his friend has worked on, and that’s a source of happiness. When Toad is disappointed about losing his list, Frog sits with him, simply being present, the peace of friendship providing a balance to the sorrow of a project gone awry. As the evening nears, Frog reminds Toad of something on his list, and reconnecting with his project brings Toad the excitement of a reclaimed goal. There is more joy in their adventure together than there would have been for either of them alone.

May it be so for all of us. Sometimes companions are hard to find, and most relationships come with moments of tension and conflict, yet there are ways we can cultivate a practice of presence with one another that amplify joy, make sorrow more bearable, and help sustain us on the journey. Some of the secret is in the first two things we learned, that small things count and that we can take time to rest and reset. Small affirmations and appreciations make a difference in our relationships, they help us find joy in each other. Taking time to rest, being fully present even when our companions are having a difficult time, letting the new day reset us for the here and now to be with our loved ones as the people they have grown to become, all of these are practices of friendship that make room for joy.

Over the past year and a half, we have had to reassess what it means to travel together. We share time differently than we used to. We find connection in chat messages and text messages, shared movies over an internet connection, recorded sentiments and songs, notes back and forth about books we’re reading, and cards in the postal mail that are ever more precious. May it be so that in-person connections become more practical for more people, but that does not take away the value of the connections that sustained us during this time. We don’t need to devalue the ways we had to adapt, and we definitely don’t need to abandon the people for whom those adaptations are still needed. We are better together, and that includes the friends who have limited mobility, or sensory sensitivities, or transportation challenges, or delicate immune systems. Our beloveds of inherent worth come in many varieties.

I believe there are spectacular adventures ahead for WES. This continues to be a vital community of exploration, mutual support, and action for justice. We will find new ways to live out WES’s core values, and become ever more fluent in new and old ways to connect as members journey in collaboration. We are better together. In that, there is joy. I invite you to continue that joyful journey and your commitment to WES.

Conclusion

Our joy is cultivated and uplifted when we notice it in progress. This is especially true of the small joys, the moments of contentment, discovery, and affection that sneak up on us without being scheduled. Taking note of our joys - writing them down, sharing them with each other, savoring the moments, naming these times as what they are - helps us to experience them fully. Small things count, so give every moment of joy its due. Rest and reset, finding ways to be fully present and to bask in your inherent worth. Travel together, with appreciation for your companions, respect for their inherent worth, and joy in what you can discover in your shared journey.

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hchan · 3 years

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(pt.1) ahahaha aww! :’> that’s so great to hear and no worries about when you get back to me ahaha we all got lots of other things on our hands i’m sure of! ^^ and AHHH!! a very happy birthday to him! ^^ I hope he and you and your family all had a great time celebrating together! :’) and I absolutely agree! All the joy and love going around is always a pleasure to be around ^^ And aw having a lot of your family owning farms sounds really lovely!

HIIIIIIIIIIII💖

(pt.2) There’s a lot of farms around where I live and seeing them whenever I’m commuting is really like, there’s something about them that makes my heart really warm if that makes sense! :’DAND AHH did I shadow write this bc 👀👀👀 THAT’S A BIG MOOD AHAHA I’m a big introvert myself as well and in a way I’m a bit thankful to have so much time away from things to kind of mentally recharge I suppose? LIKE HAHA don’t get me wrong I absolutely love my friends but I’m also a bit of a homebody as well

(pt.3) and in a way I’m a bit thankful to have so much time away from things to kind of mentally recharge I suppose? LIKE HAHA don’t get me wrong I absolutely love my friends but I’m also a bit of a homebody as well >< and!!!!! I’M AN INFP AND A SCORPIO AS WELL AHHhHhh??? what a coinky dink! I also just did a couple things to find out my life path number and it’s 4! (from what I’ve read about so far I can’t say it’s 100% accurate to myself though! ahaha maybe 50/50 😂I’ll definitely look into

(pt4) it a bit more though!)AHH ME TOO they’re kinda dangerous for me 👀 but I can definitely say that more about stationary stores! 😂😂😂 atm I’m not working on anything specific in particular but I’m an art student and so you can definitely say that craft stores are kind of a second home to me LOL but I was mainly just checking out different kinds of mediums I can add to my paint! ^^ I’m definitely a big window shopper so I didn’t make any purchases this time haha :’D And AHH I feel that!

(pt5) That’s definitely a hard decision! >< I remember being curious about when they were dropping their season’s greetings this year and they had literally dropped them later that day and i was like!!!! 👀 I stayed strong and held off for this year since I was saving up to buy both versions of pt.2 (which pleasantly arrived today woohoo!!) But OOF if they had released an nct 2020 season’s greetings...... consider my bank account empty LMAO And yes I love playing games! Ooh I’d say ac is

(pt6) definitely a favourite since I’ve been playing the series since I was a kid but hMM at the top of my head, I also really like botw, undertale, earthbound, maplestory and osu! ^^ hbu do you like any other games? (and ooh if you ever get ac, feel more than welcome to add me! ^^ I’ll gift you some cute stuff on there hehe ^^) AND OOOOOH HORROR!!! horror’s a lot of fun! do you have any favourite horror movies? I can’t say I’ve watched a whole lot of horror recently (I actually watched Eli

(pt7) around Halloween and it was alright! Definitely worth a watch with the slow unravelling of everything! ^^) but my favourites would probably the two It movies! I’d also definitely recommend anything from A24! I haven’t watched a whole ton of horror from them other than Hereditary but they do have a pretty solid selection and from what I’ve seen from some of their non-horror titles, their film quality is just 👌👌 (I also watch this really great horror movie based youtube channel and they do

(pt8) mainly film summaries/reviews and they’re a lot of fun to watch since they do a lot of lesser known films too ^^) I’ve also been meaning to watch the original Suspiria movie! The cinematography in it is super beautiful 🥺 I’m also a big chill/r&b/lofi fan as well! 🥺 perhaps to go with your gift, I’ll also throw in a playlist of recs for you! ^^ and I’d absolutely love to hear some of your favourites! Ahh absolutely! Cooking for others is always such a sweet gesture :’D also here’s a

(pt9) recipe for you! Unfortunately tumblr won’t let me send links but! if you google betty crocker cake mix crinkle cookies, it should be the first result! It’s my go to recipe for everything whether it’s someone’s birthday, there’s an event going on at school or if I just feel like making something easy and sweet! There’s also only 4 ingredients (plus vanilla if you want but it’s not necessary) and you can use any flavor of cake mix or even add additional chocolate chips/fillings if you want! ^^

(pt10) I’ve tried it with red velvet cake mix and white chocolate as well as with vanilla cake mix and crushed oreos and they always come out super great! ^^ And aw that’s okay! :’))) What song drew you to them? Oof personally I feel like an nct granny LOOOL I remember the day smrookies dropped jeno’s teaser photo and I thought he looked SO YOUNG (jokes on me tho bc I’m only about 6 months older than him HAHAHA) and yeah for sure!!! it’s so wholesome to see! ^-^ AND!!! absolutely xiaojun this era

(pt11) just.. let’s say he reALLY rode up my bias list in the shortest amount of time AHAHA and yesss 90s love was super cute! (my inner Canadian is thriving at the whole hockey concept LOOL) and AHH when everyone else joined in and theY ALL SANG FROM HOME TOGETHER I JUST- a single tear definitely escaped HAHA AND AHH OF COURSE Faded in my last song definitely takes the cake too and I’d say the same with Music, Dance and Deja Vu too!! Honestly their whole album is such a great time ahh :’) AND!!!

(pt12) AW I think you’re super fun too!!!!!! (AND SUPER SWEET??? I’M- I don’t know hOw many times I’ve had to stop myself from accidentally liking a post of yours (your gifs are lovely!) or following you BUT!!! expect a lot of that when I reveal myself LMAO) :’>>>> fjghdkjhfg Talky squad! ^^ And that’s great to hear!!!! My heart stOPPED when I sent each one bc tumblr didn’t give me the mssg that they sent and I FREAKED OUT AHAHAHA and that’s great to hear! and aw that’s really sweet that you guys

(pt13) got to chat! And thank you! My day is going quite okay thanks! a little downside is that my work contacted me this morning and said there were a couple positive cases at one of my job sites when I worked a couple weeks ago so at the moment I’m chilling in my room for the next few days just in case. I’ve been feeling just fine so I’m hoping all will be well soon! On the positive side, my albums arrived today and I pulled a Xiaojun pc and died aHAHA and I’m really loving all the freebies

(pt14) that came with it! Stickers are always a delight to get :’)) (even tho I’m usually too scared to use them! xD) I also got a chance to talk to some kind people at work and that’s always nice! ^^ and aw that’s so great :’000 i’m really happy you guys had a great time and got to eat yummy food!!!!! Here’s also a burning question for you! Do you possibly have a favourite hyuck era? Asking for research purposes ofc hehe 👀👀👀

(pt15) hope your day is going swell so far! p.s. will try my best to keep these a bit shorter bc i can only send 5 asks per hr :’o + also you're an infinite fan aaa!!!!! i used to be a big fan back in the day hehe - ss☃️🎄

Thank you!!! we did have a great time :>

Farms are fun, I just love spending time away from the city sometimes hahaha KJFNDVKJDNK yes, I honestly am ok with being at home for long periods of time (huge homebody here), but it’s been a year already and I just want to go out and sit under the sun for a few minutes HAHAHAH (for a few minutes only bc I usually can’t stand being directly under the sun OTL)

OOOOHHH INFP Scorpio twins eheheh, when’s your birthday??? must have been recently so I’m wishing you a late happy birthday💕 and yes, I need to look a bit more into numerology as well because I have no idea what my number means fdkjndfk.

OMG!!! an art student!!! That’s so cool :< I hope I get to see some of your art after the event! eheheh. What’s your favorite medium? Favorite thing to draw/paint? :)

I was so curious too!!! I loved NCT Dream’s Season’s Greetings concept last year! and I don’t have any NCT merchandise so I just jumped in for it this year kjdfnkdvfk I liked both concepts but I decided to get 127′s! BOTH VERSIONS OF PT.2!!! EXCITING! Whic PCs did you get??? (Also who is (are) your bias(es)??? omg dkfjnfvkjd) !!!!!!! I absolutely love botw too!! and I play osu as well :D but lately I’ve just been playing Genshin Impact and Overwatch! (OMGGG I’ll definitely let you know if I do!!!)

I know Hereditary!!! I haven’t watched it yet! but I have watched The Witch from A24 and it was really interesting! (which youtube channel? o: I love watching movie analysis videos!!) LKFDNKFDMFL and yes, please, I love getting songs recs, discovering new music is so fun! I’ll share here some songs that I’ve been listening to a lot lately!:

Nlve x Sam Kim — Like a Fool

DPR LIVE — Jam & Butterfly

SOLE — haPPiness

eaJ x Seori — It just is

eaJ x keshi — Pillows

Woosung — Face

OMG I just watched a video that showed similar looking cookies!!! they look so yummy! I’ll save this recipe and maybe I’ll try to bake some for Christmas eheheh thank you!!!!

I knew of NCT since their debut but AHAHAHA you see, I felt a bit funny because I’m older than many members JKFNDJK so I avoided them until around Superhuman/Boom when some friends exposed me to their music during a trip we made for a Got7 concert, a week with them was enough for me to go back home straight to search more about NCT, and here I am now : D

AND YESSSS when they all joined to sing From Home on the stage :((( I’m also about to cry each time I watch the MV for the rearranged version KJNVFNKD (omg!! I’ve always wanted to go to Canada! I can imagine the hockey concept was exciting ahahah) but yeah! I absolutely agree, love love LOVE the album!

Awww :< <3 that’s SO relatable LMAO I was just saying to my friends the other day “don’t you sometimes get the urge to like your own anon on you event person’s blog????” AHAHAH thank you for thinking my gifs are lovely;; I just started giffing this year and it’s been really fun so far :D

Oh god :(( I hope you’re okay! that sounds a bit scary;; please take care :< but I’m glad that your albums got there and that you got to talk to nice at work! (stickers are always great!!! yes!! though I tend to save them and never use them as well ahahah)

FAVORITE ERA? god that’s a difficult question KJFNDVKJ well, my favorite Dream song is MFAL but I have no idea if it’s my favorite era...... I also really really really liked Superhuman (his silver hair????? gorgeous) so maybe those two would be the answer kjndfkdk and yes!!! I’ve been an Infinite fan since their debut! and Sunggyu was my bias until Haechan happened hahahah (I’ve been a kpop fan since around 2008 : D hbu???) I think I asked here earlier but who’s your NCT bias/es?? o: are there any other kpop groups that you really like? :)

BIG EDIT: RIDIN’ ERA HAECHAN IS A BIG FAVORITE TOO his hair was at a beautiful length and that eyebrow piercing.............*cries*

Big edit 2: .......ridin’ is the favorite era, I stil like MFAL as a song more, but Ridin’ era haechan is......deadly

#Secret Santa anon🎄#asks

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1988-fiend · 4 years

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A Very Vincent Christmas

A/N: Fluff piece of Vincent and Cat for the holidays; I know it’s fluff, but be kind and enjoy :) Also artwork is not mine, but found in my archives of many BatB close ups. <3

There are those that swear that there’s no place like New York City during the Holidays--and they would be right. While most of the natives and tourists hoarded in droves through the glitzy shops, or waited in line at Rockefeller Center to gaze upon the what was the Christmas tree of Christmas trees, servants of the public such as Catherine Chandler had the other half of the season to dive into; overtime. All the overtime. Though not nearly as glamorous or festive, for people living in the city it was a common necessity around the season if only to afford both the end of year expenses and bills. Sure she may have two other people to help with those nowadays, however it never hurt to lend out a hand to other people wishing to spend time with their families, especially when her own were unavailable. Heather had long ago decided to book an R and R retreat to LA for the last two weeks and Vincent...well, Catherine knew she wasn’t the only one working extra hours. Especially since with the way their lives worked, tomorrow could arise some catastrophe anew to where all the long shifts and favors for fellow co-workers in their time of need would paid off. Fighting Beasts may be their Destiny, but she doubted her Building Supervisor would be so understanding if it came in the way of paying rent.

So while the streets were lined up with men in beards and red suits, with Tiny Tots and their eyes all aglow, the only glow Catherine could muster was the exhaustion of a double shift.

Glittering wreaths adorning to the streetlights washed over her windshield in a steady rhythm, and much to the city’s delight, tufts of snow had begun to fall making her feel like she was in a car shaped snow globe as she inched from red light to red light on her way home.

Catherine desparetely needed coffee. Scratch that, she needed wine. She needed a shower. She needed sleep. She needed Vincent…

Catherine shook her head to distract from the ache in her heart, instead focusing on the ache in her feet as she parked and muscled her way to the elevator and pressed ‘5’. While the money helped with their conjoined nest egg, these days she and Vincent were like ships in the night. The best thing she looked forward to for warmth these days was a scented candle and a goodnight kiss emoji from Vincent that he’d have to sneak into the breakroom to send.

She checked her phone out of curousity. No luck, yet. Then she saw the date. December 24.

Catherine let out a frustrated cry in time with the arrival bell. Another thing she didn’t have time for. Then as if to mock her, practically every door she passed tickled her nose with the scent of pine needles wrapped around the peepholes. Well, almost every door, except hers that is…

Her’s had a note.

A hesitant smile tugged at the corner of her lips at the sight of the familiar yellow scratch paper. Better than any text message, Vincent had been here.

Expecting something simple such as ‘Miss You’ or ‘Love You’ underneath the crease, Catherine’s brow furrowed with what was written in his sharpie scrawl.

Close your eyes. Knock twice.

As much as her heart swelled with joy, the tiredness swept over her in terms of waiting to get into her own apartment, so instead of going by the whole note Catherine unlocked the deadbolt and closed her eyes-- promptly knocking her head into the door as it recoiled from the chain lock still in place.

“Hey, hey, hey,” She heard a deep male voice call out from across the room and then right next to her. Vincent didn’t need his beast-like reflexes to cross the space, but surely the sound of a plan backfiring onto his lover’s skull brought him over faster.

Catherine groaned but diligently kept her eyes shut, albeit she squeezed them more so now out of pain while the sound of the door closed and fully unlocked itself. Immediately the cold of the snow outside and draft of the wind inside was replaced by Vincent’s familiar warmth.

“Hi,” She winced, still not being able to see him as she felt his hands cup her face.

“Yeah, hello.” Vincent’s thumbs skimmed over the potential bruise on her forehead, then down the bridge of her nose in case she hurt that to. “You couldn’t knock twice?”

“I tried with my head apparently.” Cat sighed. She squeaked a peek at Vincent who gave the all clear. “What are you doing home so early?”

“Not saving you from bodily harm apparently.” Then he smiled until his dimples appeared. “I pulled a couple strings and I’ll be heading in a little after midnight instead. Thought I might surprise you.” He shrugged.

Catherine more or less schlumped into his arms. “That is such a wonderful surprise, thank you.”

Instantly she was enveloped, and if she wasn’t already standing, she may have fallen asleep then and there, happy and content.

“Yeah, well, as flattering as it is that you think I’m the surprise, I actually had something else in store for us.”

Catherine leaned back to look at him through a glance hooded with intrigue.

“Thing is,” He murmured conspiratorially. “You’re going to have to close your eyes again.”

“Do I have to?” She was already so tired. Really him being there was special enough, and already Catherine was trying to quell having zilch done for him in return. Did Chinese restaurants in the city give complimentary mistletoe? Because that was about all she was good for at the moment.

“Mmmhmm.” Vincent leaned in and kissed her cheek, his evening scruff tickling the at the corner of her mouth. “I promise it won’t hurt this time. I got you.”

With a trusting breath Catherine closed her eyes once more, and taking her hand in his Vincent lead her back into what she could already tell was a pitch black apartment. Even so he left her only to relock the door and then pull her to face the french doors in their living room.

“Keep them closed.” He teased, to which Catherine could only smirk.

“So, so closed right now.”

“And no, this isn’t like the time you tried to make me a birthday cake. I didn’t set anything on fire.”

Catherine held up a hand in defense. “I might not be Martha Stewart okay, but even with the sudden visit from Firefighter Keller, there were no losses.”

“Other than my favorite T-shirt.” Vincent sparred.

“Eh, you looked better without it. Besides, I don’t believe the end result of that experience caused any complaints.”

“Not at all. In fact, I still think about it whenever I look at the counter top.”

With the intimate memory suddenly making Catherine blush, she felt Vincent’s hands over her eyes despite them still being honorably closed.

“Ready, and..Viola.”

Catherine had to blink once or twice, but instantly she felt the aches and pains of the day melt away only to be replaced with a genuine grin.

There, in the middle of their apartment, in the middle of their home, was a six foot Christmas tree, lit to the nines with a star on top.

“Wow… Vincent.”

A bit shy, Vincent tentatively wrapped his arms around her. “I know it isn’t much, but I thought since neither of us really seem to have time for the holidays these days...okay, any days...that it might be nice to have a little tradition set up. For us.”

“We didn’t even have a tree in storage.” Catherine wasn’t under any illusion that the one in front of her was real. If there was one thing any of them had less time for than decorating, it was surely cleaning up after the fact.

“We didn’t. That one is thanks to JT before he and Tess took off for the weekend.”

“Remind me to thank him later.” She said, Vincent nodding in agreement.

The two of them stood silent within the glow of the lights as Vincent cradled Catherine’s head against him, their heartbeats syncing to one another’s, but there was still one thing Catherine had to get off her mind.

“You know Vincent, If I’d have known we were celebrating tonight I would at least have made an attempt at shopping for something to give you. After all, it is our first Christmas actually together and not in hiding or on the run. Just…busy.”

With a few extra trimmings still on the coffee table Vincent leaned over and grabbed a ruby red bow and made a popping noise as he placed it on her head. “No tags required Catherine. Just you. You’re all i want for Christmas.” He leaned in for a kiss, which Catherine received, only to lean back a moment later.

“Did you practice that?” She asked.

“Uhhhh, maybe.” He pinched the air. “A little bit.” He watched her smile so hard that her nose crinkled, a sight he adored every time he saw it.

“Smooth.” She went in for another kiss. “So, what did you get me for Christmas then?”

Vincent was silent until she felt the whiskers of his goatee tickle her ear. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” He murmured, sending chills down her spine that had nothing to do with the snow as her jacket fell off her shoulders.

#batb #jay ryan #vincent keller #Catherine Chandler #Kristin Kreuk #fanfic #mine #1988-fiend #short but sweet #a very vincent christmas #jt forbes #austin basis #Tess Vargas #nina lisandrello #nicole gale anderson #heather chandler #MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

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atlasfms · 4 years

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𝐆𝐐 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗 .

By Jonathon Heaf ➥ 3 December 2019

The now twenty - four year old talks about his rise to fame , his family and just about everything in between . . .

Honorable Mentions : @alanncs , @nsfwviolets , @veraffs & @viclents .

It’s been a year and a half since I last had the pleasure of catching up with the Golden Boy that’s known as Atlas Deniro , but in that seemingly short space of time a lot has changed in his life and there’s so much to catch up on . At the beginning of 2018 , he was most known for being the son of a billionaire and fluttering hearts by his steaming Instagram posts , as well as sauntering down runways in clothes designed by some of our favourite names , but things didn’t really get started for him until mid - June .

After his debut as being the main face and male Ambassador of Paco Rabbane’s iconic 1 Million fragrance , Deniro’s popularity sky - rocketed and it wasn’t that long after that he released his first song . Since then , the heartthrob has been the most sought for male face for most of our favourite brands , even having his own clothing line collaboration with Calvin Klein and winning the Fashion Award’s Model of the Year 2018 , and only growing in success after dropping his debut album ‘ Damage Control ’ which solidified it’s place at the top of the charts for months , he rang the new year in with a bang , but 2019 was a little more of roller coaster .

After returning home from Italy once his family’s annual holiday get - together was over , Deniro and his friends took Dubai , UEA by storm and gave us something to remember them by when they aired a one - hour documentary on Netflix revealing what they got up to . If that wasn’t exciting enough , then maybe his Thailand Arrest story will ring a bell . But that’s all been and gone , and after that the now twenty - four year old kicked himself into shape once his Debut World Tour dates were released . However , we’re all aware of the days that led to Deniro’s 3 day coma , which resulted in him having to cancel his tour in favour of taking some time to recover .

Since then , the model - slash - singer has had a relatively quiet few months , and after coming back to Instagram a few weeks back and reminiscing about his time with long - time girlfriend Violet Lennox , GQ’s International Male Model of the Year 2019 is here in celebration of his turning twenty - four , the struggled of growing up in the spotlight and just about everything in - between . So , how about we get started ? He’s wearing a cozy looking black rib roll neck sweater paired with a washed grey set of jeans decorated with his iconic silver chain . Sitting across from me , he looks as collected as ever .

𝐆𝐐 : 𝐒𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐆𝐐’𝐒 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 ?

Atlas Deniro : Honestly it feels kind of surreal . There are so many talents out there that deserve it just as much as I do , so I was surprised to even be nominated for it . Winning is crazy , though . I remember when I won the Fashion Awards last year and was like ‘ this is it , this is the highlight ’ . I never even dreamed I’d win a prestigious award like this , especially so early in my career so thank you .

𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 ?

Definitely not . Up until my ( Paco Rabanne ) promotion I was pretty much just getting booked into whatever gigs my agent could find and working my way through college . It was kind of weird , because one day I was mostly just walking on runways and building up my name , but the next my face was all over and it was like , wow , I did this . I actually did this .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝’𝐬 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐬 ?

Crazy because the 1 Million fragrance is my absolute favourite and I’d never dream I’d get to be the face representing it . Weird because Jordan Barrett is one of my buds and replacing him on the commercial was strange . But he was cool with it , though , so I guess it all worked out .

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 .

It’s impossible to describe because no word can explain the amount of pride and happiness you feel when it’s out there . Like , that’s your baby . You’re letting it out to be judged by the world and that’s , like , your pride and joy . But honestly the feedback was surreal : people always have reservations when models turn into musicians as well , and I must have said ‘ music coming soon ’ so many times before choosing the track to drop that would put me in the same race as everyone else took longer than actually creating an entire album .

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐦 ?

Between college and modeling gigs ? Years , probably . Writing the songs didn’t take two seconds , but actually recording them and putting everything together takes the longest time . Like , you’re creating something that you want to take people to another place , and making the perfect song to do that is difficult . There was a lot of switching and shuffling around , too many songs scrapped because they weren’t good enough . It’s a long process , but definitely worth it .

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 ?

I’m working on new music everyday , it’s just a little difficult because everything is so personal and depends on what happens during that day . I think people don’t understand that a musician’s album is literally their most private and secret thoughts put into one place . It’s like a journal , and that’s why not only creating these songs , but performing them is so hard to describe .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫 ?

Absolutely heartbreaking . I made so many promises to my fans and the dream of being able to travel the world , playing my own music is something I’ve wanted all my life . Hands down , it was the hardest decision I ever had to make . But I needed to do it , and I’m feeling so much better now .

𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 ?

I may have something up my sleeve for after the New Year . It’s kind of an apology mixed with another surprise I’m not going to ruin , but it’s good . Trust me . You won’t be disappointed .

𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 . 𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 ?

For now I’m just continuing with my music , my modeling , and spending some time with my beautiful girlfriend . We’re going to Italy to spend the holidays with my family soon , so it’ll be nice to get away from New York for a little while and be able to spend time with the people I care about the most .

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 ; 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 ?

With extreme difficulty [ laughs ] . You should try having to remember all the names of your Aunts and Uncles , as well as your cousins and their children . It’s hard , but the thing about my family is that even though there’s so many of us , we’re close . We always have been .

𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 , 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 ?

Bali , for sure . It holds a special place in my heart , not to mention it’s so remote and beautiful that it’s hard to not fall in love with the place as soon as you get there . It’s a little far from home , though , so I don’t get to go often but every time I do , I always have the best time .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐢 ?

Definitely when I went for the first time a few years back . It was with Violet , of course , although Alanna and Amara insisted they would come and didn’t talk to me for a week straight when I told them no . But one day , we decided to just stay on the beach . We stayed there all day until the sun set , and I’m pretty sure we left being as red as lobsters , but it was the most relaxed we’ve ever been .

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 , 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ?

The best , which I probably should be grateful for since there are a lot of people out there who can’t really say the same , but they’re my best friends . I think us all growing up with the same problem of having no privacy made us closer , and also made us realise we can trust each other with anything .

𝐈𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐓𝐕 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ?

Yeah , for sure . But there’s only a certain amount of content our producers can use , and given the amount of episodes they need to film to create an entire season it’s taking a while , but it will be finished soon . Maybe even sooner than you think .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 #𝐙𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 ?

Couldn’t be happier for them , and people need to lay off with the judging . If they’re happy , they’re happy , so why don’t they just leave it at that ? Now we just have to wait for the wedding . . .

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 - 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 ?

I think exciting is the wrong word for it ; who even enjoys getting older ? But birthdays mean lots of presents and partying , so I’m looking forward to it !

#this took so long fjkgn #゜・ › 𝑨𝑻𝑳𝑨𝑺 𝑫𝑬𝑵𝑰𝑹𝑶 . : / / tabloids .

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ceruleanmusings · 5 years

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Happy Birthday, Melanie Crowe!

It is my OC Melanie Crowe’s birthday today, October 19th, and it’s a big deal for me because this is also the day—according to my (admittedly potentially faulty) memory—that I first created Melanie five years ago! By the end of the month this time in 2014, I posted the first chapter to my Teen Wolf fic, Underneath it All, and my writing life, as it were, has never been the same since!

Melanie is the first OC I created for a fandom that wasn’t one that I just changed little aspects for to pick up and drop into different fandoms (I suggest you don’t do this if you don’t want to spend a lot of time trying to differentiate your tags for the different versions of your character with the same name XD).

She was made from scratch after binge watching the first couple of seasons of Teen Wolf during the summer of 2014. I admittedly didn’t get into it when I first watched it back in 2011 but the three years was a break I needed, I think, to really get sucked in. Did it have it’s faults? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did it have it’s problems in the end? Of course. But i was a show that kept me entertained and woke up a part of me that’s been itching to get into a new fandom to write fanfic for. I think it came at the right time.

To anyone who follows me, it’s no surprise that Melanie is my main OC baby because I provide a lot of content for her but that’s because she’s the first OC that I’ve written that feels like a real person to me. She’s easily the most three dimensional and she has an attitude and way of facing challenges and life that makes me cackle, rub my hands together and think “what kind of situation can I put you in next?”

Honestly, she’s the ditzy, silly, and excited side of myself that I don’t let a lot of people see because I fear that I come across as annoying or dumb or, well, a waste of space. She’s that and her own person; she’s grown so much before my very eyes that I feel lucky that I even get to write her. I feel kind of like a dork saying that but, hey, not gonna take it back because it’s true.

I love writing her complex relationship with her parents amidst the secrets that they keep; I love writing Melanie against Scott and Stiles, the two dorks that have stepped into a world that she’s always dreamed and obsessed over and finally, finally, feels like she can contribute something through them; I love writing Melanie and Erica’s friendship because it’s one so pure and supportive that I wish I had in my life as a teen in high school; I love writing Melanie and Isaac, the two opposites that have found a bond and common ground through loss and grief; I love writing Melanie’s complicated relationship with Allison, the new girl that shakes up her world and ties them together in ways that she never predicted; I love writing Melanie and Derek, the werewolf that she leaves completely baffled and at wits end; I love writing the opposite spectrum of high school hierarchy through Melanie and Lydia, I love writing Jackson’s and Melanie’s butting heads and dislike of one another’s modus operandi; I love writing her.

So, to celebrate, throughout today and tomorrow (because I”m only one person and I tend to be long winded) I’m making some posts discussing some of Melanie’s relationships with characters throughout season one because her fic surrounding season one (Underneath it All as mentioned once above, *plug plug*) is this close to finally being finished. I’m one or two chapters away and my goal is to finish it by the 5th anniversary date of October 30th.

My askbox is also open if anyone would like to send in questions about her or her fic! *hint hint. I will drop spoilers*

Here’s to my lacrosse playing, lifeguarding, song belting, supernatural obsessing, ditzy, silly, fun, loyal, siren, badass bi babe, Melanie Crowe! I hope she’s brought my readers as much joy as she’s brought me.

She’s changed my writing life, I love her to bits, and I owe her so much.

#melanie crowe #birthday celebration #i'm a sap #i know #but for real i think some of my best writing has come through her #and there aren't enough words out there for me to fully explain how much i love and owe to her #and if you don't love your own ocs who will?#melanie bday2k19

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pjstafford · 4 years

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Precious Time

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” A tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens

I have been posting blogs every Thursday as a way to mark the passage of time of each week since I started working remotely and going out only for essential needs. I think many of us our redefining our relationship with time. So I have been thinking of the quote from Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities

The passing of time is a scientific, incontrovertible fact. The sun rises and it sets and there is a day. The moon rises and it sets and there is a night. Winter turns to Spring and then to Summer and then to Fall. When it repeats a year has slipped away. Time is, also, a social construct. We say 9-5 Monday through Friday is a typical work day and there might be some logic to that, but there might be logic to 7-5 four days a week as well. We have Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, but some cultures add a tea or late supper. A midnight shift worker still gets lunch –even though his lunch is at 3 a.m. we don’t call it breakfast in the middle of the work shift. The lunch hour is a social construct of a work life. We mark our seasons and plan our celebrations based on Holidays that cross countries like Easter or Passover and that don’t Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July. Those are societal or cultural norms that we put in place to structure our time.

In this, the Spring of 2020, time has simultaneously sped up and slowed day and our social construct of time means next to nothing at all – even as we are in the midst of what is commonly called “Holy Week.”

I mark the time on Thursdays –

Thursday March 5th was my birthday. A friend and I went to a restaurant for dinner. There were ten deaths in the country from the disease. I worried if my trio to DC in two weeks would be canceled.

Thursday March 12 with the first confirmed case in New Mexico and the governor taking swift action I conversed with my boss about what swift action our agency would take to follow the governor’s lead and then I proceeded out of town to a work related trip that would last the week-end.

Thursday March 19 I woke up with my first day to work remotely and socially distance except for essentials. I wrote my first quarantine blog.

Every Thursday since…

And now its Thursday April 9 and 14, 000 across the country have died.

It’s happened all so fast! And time is so precious. There are steps we can take to reduce the deaths but we started so late. We must today do whatever we can to get more beds, more ventilators, more health care professionals and more tests. Time is scarce and there is an urgent need to get something done!

But that is not my role in this crisis. I am a non-essential employee. My role is to socially distance. And suddenly the social constructs of time looks different. Not just for me but for millions. I hear people talk about the days running together and is it ok to have a beer at 3 in the afternoon when they woke up at 4 a.m. and plan on sleeping soon. For me, I have actual work. I am amazed by how many phone conferencing, time specific duties I have during this time of social distancing. It sets some structure to my days. As I blog last week, I have discovered I have to work at maintaining some structure of a week-end, but I have more time during the week. I do not get up and get dress and commute to work and then commute back. I mean I do get up and dress, but it looks far different. There are hours “saved” there and I eat when I want at home because I am in front of a computer, or listening to a webinar or a press conference and that social construct of lunch time might become a shower, or a walk, or a X-Files break. Do you know how many X-files episodes are about the threat of global contagion? I digress. I digress a lot these days. My first blog was about everything I was going to do with this time, but if King Lear was written during a quarantine, my next novel is likely not to be.

It is, well, the worst of times for sure! It can, also, be the best of times for some of us if we let it. Last Friday was a great day! Well, the New Mexico order for stay at home was extended and the governor announced the numbers the models show might die which were shocking and we found out specifically how many ventilators we were likely to come up short on. And our President! But a nurse friend from New Jersey who had been exposed without proper equipment tested negative and it was a joyous day. I had a social media concert watch party about 5 on a Friday and it was like an actual Thank God its Friday party and that was so special. It was the worst of and the not so bad of a day.

The Dickens quote from a Tale of Two Cities! We are all on the global planet going through the exact same pandemic, but in many ways we are going through it very differently, aren’t we?

There are the tales of the medical professionals, god bless them. My guess is time never feels slowed down for them.

There are the tales of the unexpected heroes of grocery store employees, truck drivers, trash collectors, postal men, all who are not in fact staying at home because they are essential and the work they are doing cannot be done remotely.

There are the tales I know the best of those who are staying at home, but that looks different for different people. I live alone. I like solitude. I enjoy working from home. There are parents trying to continue education for their younger children while working full time jobs. There are twenty somethings who social lives mean more to them. There are persons who routine was to see their elderly parent in the nursing home every Thursday. I guess in some ways they are just different chapters of the same novel.

There are economic inequities. If you are having symptoms simply isolate into the basement or a single floor in your three story house. Or, if you have a single story three bedroom house, the kids may have to share a room when daddy has symptoms. Well, that looks a little different. If you live with your spouse and your two toddlers in a one bedroom or studio apartments, social distancing is not possible. Or if you are homeless and living in a shelter. Or if, or if or if. Decontaminate by immediately washing your clothes- because we all own washer and dryers don’t we?

And if you live in an abusive relationship and you are now alone with the person the entire time. The stressors are worse and….There are moments of hell happening across the global planet in the pandemic. Some has to do with the loss of lives. Some has to do specifically with social distancing.

But I also think that this is actually the reality of everyday life. The pandemic only exasperates existing problems. . While I sympathize and empathize with every single person going through hell, I cannot live it for them anymore than I can for all the homeless I regularly see on the street during normal times. Life and death, also, happen every day. The probabilities are high we will be effected in this time and I am not downplaying it and I don’t want to normalize it, but I do want to say there are some daily life lessons we could remember for when this is over – to love the ones we love, to know that everything can change in a second. The fact of life and death is not created in this time, but we are experiencing it differently now. As we experience the intensity of this time, we should use it to reestablish a relationship with time that is focused on the preciousness of that time.

I am struggling with sleep, worry and fear even if I enjoy the solitude. I cannot put on music and dance. It is a joyous activity and I feel little joy. But is my not dancing causing fewer people to die? Call me Pollyanna but I still am hoping that, for some of us, we can find the best of times in this time.

Most of our life we do not have enough of time . I want to get to a place for myself and I hope others can too where they can experience the time in a peaceful and precious way. I’m not there. I want to be.

I think of a woman I know who bakes everyday with her kids as part of their lessons- great for math and science. She bakes in the afternoon and the bake goods of the day are ready to eat around the 3:30 – 4:00 framework which is the time the kids were used to coming home and having a snack. 20 years from now those kids might think of this time as the time their mother spent teaching them to bake. That doesn’t mean all the other people experiencing hell are not still experiencing hell but not baking with her kids isn’t going to solve the world’s problems right now either. It’s ok to have a project to finish. It’s, also, ok not to and to spend more time enjoying your spouse or your kids or your parents or siblings if you live with them. Watch t.v., play a game, converse.

I feel very much alone in my isolation. I want to believe that those people who have this time with their families are embracing it and embracing them. And so why don’t I write that psychological thriller I’ve been saying I want to work on now for two years? I don’t know. I’m not learning a new language as I started with downtime in January and February. As much as I said in that first blog I had plans, boy, and looking forward to the time….I throw up my hands in the air exasperated at myself. Maybe I needed to process a little what the world was going through and how I felt about my non-essential role. Maybe I needed to give myself permission to feel the pain. Maybe now, I write this blog as a way of giving myself permission to look again at this time as precious- because I do not know when I will have this much of it again, because all time is precious, because tomorrow I might die.

It is the worst of times, ok! It is still precious time. This Saturday night I am participating in a virtual rock concert video watch with some friends. Can’t remember the last time I went out dancing on a Saturday night! Maybe it is ok to put on music and dance. I give myself permission to be joyous. I have the time.

#quarantine

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parabcllums · 4 years

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⧼ tati gabrielle, cis female, she & her / overprotected by britney spears + an endless stretch of white sand beaches and the overwhelming smell of the ocean. glossy lips and trademark pout, faux fur jackets over white denim jeans and a set of freshly done baby pink stiletto heels, making your daily life more difficult than it needs to be. an expensive bunch of flowers delivered early every morning and left inside a crystal vase. ⧽ ━━ let me tell you a thing or two about CHARLOTTE “LOTTIE” OLIVIA BLAIRE. the TWENTY THREE year old daughter of ALISON BLAIRE & WARREN WORTHINGTON III is an UNDERGRAD student at paragon academy and CELEBRITY YOGA INSTRUCTOR in town, and has sometimes been referred to as THE BRAINLESS BEAUTY. they’ve always seemed very WHIMSICAL & VIVACIOUS, though i’ve heard that they can be pretty SCATTERBRAINED & CONCEITED too. it’s common knowledge that they have the powers of ( UNDEVELOPED ) LIGHT MANIPULATION [ CAPABILITIES: EMOTION BASED LUMINESCENCE ( SHE GLOWS ) & PHOTOKINETIC FLIGHT ] ; guess we shouldn’t get on their bad side, huh? redirect to her stats page HERE and her pinterest board HERE.

she’s like a DREAM GIRL ; and i think a dream girl should live in a dream world.

SECTION ONE OF THREE : BULLET POINT HISTORY.

charlotte olivia blaire, soon to be known more widely as LOTTIE, was born on october 5th, 1996, in new york city. she’s the eldest of four children born to alison blaire & warren worthington iii, her younger siblings being madeleine eliza, gabrielle louisa and sebastian warren.

for several years, lottie didn’t have to be exceptional to be her parents favorite. they didn’t have any other KIDS for a while, so she really only ever had to be herself ; and that was enough. she got used to being spoiled rotten ( both her parents were rich in their own right, so it wasn’t as if she ever had to worry for anything ), but there wasn’t REALLY an alternative to that. when you only have one kid to focus all your attention on and go all out for during birthdays and the holidays... they end up a little spoiled.

alison and warren largely kept lottie out of the public eye, for the first six years of her life. they’d go so far as to throw a towel over her head when they were carrying her across the tarmac to a private jet, even ; and it was all in the name of good. they didn’t want her to be torn apart by GOSSIP magazines before she was old enough to really comprehend them, and aside from a few pictures ( one toddler breakdown was caught in full by a member of the paparazzi, and the family got a nice settlement when legal action was taken against the magazine that published the photos ), she was pretty well sheltered. i’d go so far as to call that lottie as a whole ; SHELTERED.

all bets were not completely off with the births of madeleine and gabrielle, per say ; but alison and warren DID mellow out some, taking the kids for days out to disneyland, etc, and only keeping them all covered up as long as they were push chair bound. lottie very quickly became something of a little darling. she had always been the sort of kid who got distracted doing something as mundane as talking to her mom by catching her own reflection over alison’s shoulder and having to really look at herself ; she LOVED having cameras pointed in her direction, and she played up to them quite well. the media circus went wild the very first time she looked directly at them and did a little twirl, her smile huge and gap toothed, her ending a cutesy wave. if she knew she had an AUDIENCE, she did the most to make it worth their while.

lottie was definitely the one most obsessed with the idea of following in her mothers footsteps. unfortunately, it was very obvious from a time she was very young that she couldn’t hold a tune to save her LIFE, but nothing was more sure to her as she grew than the fact that if she had gotten nothing else, she had gotten ALL the looks. it didn’t take very much twisting of their arms to allow her pursue a child model career, something that was obviously going to bring her joy ( in turn, something they wouldn’t deny her ). lottie was a natural. she had her own tween clothing brand. she had offers from across the globe to shoot pictures for different products. once in a while, you might get the jingle from one such advertisement that she was the face of stuck in your head, even today.

she was fifteen when all bets really WERE off, for good, and wingin’ it with the worthingtons became reality tv’s new trump card. her parents really did not need the money, but... after much discussion, they couldn’t argue the fact that it would give mutants as a whole the kind of media exposure that they’d never really HAD before. through wiwtw, they were able to show themselves as a family. sure, it was dramatic at times ; but they were able to be a really positive influence on the public’s opinion of mutants, and they really did feel as if they were having a direct hand in forming a new, humanized VIEW of their kind in the minds of people who had never really had such a thing, before.

lottie LOVED it, and that should really come as zero surprise. she loved the attention, mostly, and was an active part of social media from then onwards - live tweeting their episodes, doing instagram advertisements for the newest fads, interacting with people on her level. she was not the smartest of people, and that shone through on the families show regardless of whatever script guide they had ( sure they’d deny it, but... that didn’t stop it from existing ), but... lottie wasn’t offended when people turned something she had said or something she had done into a viral meme. she wasn’t hurt when a row of comments beneath something she had tweeted were largely rude. she really was the sort of person who thought ‘all attention is good attention’.

wingin’ it with the worthingtons ( a very ironic title for a show comprised mostly of blaire’s ) took up a lot of time, but nothing REALLY changed in terms of how their lives were lead. the families time had always been largely split between wherever either parent had to be for BUSINESS, and their home in gardendale. really, it just meant they got to spend even more time together, and even more time closer to the school for gifted youngsters that was somewhat a home to all of them. lottie loved traveling when she was a child, far more than she enjoyed being in one place ; but she was not a history buff, per say, or even largely interested in the TOURIST side of new cities. it wasn’t a huge loss to her, not to be in a new city each month.

really ; lottie’s life has been quite ordinary, in the sense of... it’s entirely ordinary in HER eyes, and probably the least bit so for everybody else. she’s never faced all too much, and counts winning celebrity love island season 9 as her greatest achievement.

SECTION TWO OF THREE : HEADCANONS

lottie isn’t really very intelligent, at least in terms of... book smarts and street knowledge. she’s been very sheltered in her life, and she’s never really had to try very hard - her looks have gotten her far, and she scraps by in school enough that it’s never been too much of an issue. she’s quite self aware, but she isn’t very bothered by the fact. in lottie’s eyes, making fun of her for such a thing ( which is something she’s no stranger to ) is more a cheap shot than anything else, and she’s never been the kind to think too deeply on it.

she attended xavier’s school for gifted youngsters... fairly sporadically, really. it was where her parents thought she BELONGED, and she never argued the fact with them - it was certainly easier than many of the alternatives - but... she also never went there with any real desire to be a future member of the x-men, and she’s always felt that’s pretty much the only reason to ATTEND xavier’s. she switched to private education for a few years while she was focusing on her own career, but she’s attending paragon academy now as a kind of ‘break’ following last years love island win, mostly to regroup and decide what she wants to pursue next.

she has a very interesting mutation, with a lot of potential - but she’s never really cared to... develop it, much. lottie has light manipulation, and all that REALLY gives her is the ability to fly ( through the manipulation of light ) and, tragically - emotion based luminescence. in layman's terms, lottie involuntarily glows based on the strong emotions that she’s feeling at any one time. if she’s good and angry, she glows literal red. passionate, purple. happy? green. maybe she’d have more desire to learn how to use her gift if she didn’t feel like a mood ring 70% of the time.

madeleine "ellie” eliza blaire is fifteen years old and the smartest of all the worthinton-blaire children, by a LONGSHOT. when she’s older, she’s gonna do something incredible, like... cure cancer, or reinstate pluto as a planet. she and lottie have a complicated dynamic, in that... they love each other, greatly, but are huge sources of frustration to the other. ellie finds lottie to be quite dense ( no arguments ), and though on the flip side, lottie is always REALLY impressed by her sisters intelligence... she also finds her to be kind of a know it all. it’s a classic case of neither of them really understanding one another. lottie loves to play up to the cameras, and ellie mostly lurks in the background ( one time taking a stand and wearing a hoodie she had made herself saying she didn’t consent to the use of her image on tv ). while they’d absolutely go to the ends of the earth for one another, they have no interest in BEING like the other, and they aren’t the sort of sisters who share everything and get along 100% of the time. ellie is the only child to have the actual worthington wings - they’re as tall as she is and feathered, though rather than being white, they have a distinct baby blue tint.

gabrielle “abbie” louisa blaire is twelve, and has more ambition than anyone lottie’s ever met - and the intelligence to get herself where she wants to be. while she’s far more like charlotte than anyone else is ( they’re both far too invested in their looks, for one, and have a GENUINE interest in what the gossip magazines are saying most days ), she’s also sharp as a tack and incredibly driven. she and lottie get along the best, and there’s little that lottie loves more than helping her little sister do her makeup or choose an outfit ; she doesn’t feel threatened by her in the least, but she does kind of understand why their parents were so reluctant to allow her get started at the offset. she’s definitely not the type to try and dissuade abbie from doing anything she wants to, but she does think it would have been nice for her to be young for a little bit longer. as the only child to INHERIT their mothers voice, her goal is to find stardom before she turns fourteen ; she’ll probably get there, given that she’s currently competing on ‘the voice kids’.

sebastian “bash” warren blaire is seven, and alison and warren’s only son. given that there’s the LARGEST gap between him and lottie, they wouldn’t be classed as the closest of siblings - but lottie loved when he was a baby, and taking care of him was where she found her love of babysitting, in general. it’s not a very noble job, but what about it, right? bash is definitely the child where all the rules and regulations that the other three had lived through went out the window. his birth announcement ( including a picture of his sleeping self ) was the most liked picture on instagram the year that he was born ( though it lost its crown not too far into the new year ), and he’s had his own youtube channel since he was five - reviewing toys, mostly, but it’ll eventually evolve into video games at the rate he’s going. he boasts the LARGEST collection of funko pop toys out of anyone he knows, and has two whole rooms dedicated to his things. he’s probably the most spoiled out of all four of the siblings, but they all sort of willfully allow it. his mutation hasn’t shown itself, yet, but he’ll probably work out a way to make himself tik tok relevant using it when it does.

SECTION THREE OF THREE : WANTED CONNECTIONS

i don’t have many wrote up yet so please... stick w me.

she definitely has friends from xavier’s, given that she attended the school - but i imagine they vary in terms of... closeness and also, vibe. there’s probably people who find her endearing, but there’s also definitely people who aren’t really her friend and can’t be classed it. any and all xavier’s connects u can think of, including close friends, mutuals, enemies and exes, are open !

give me two people who r like... her gretchen weiners and regina george. they’re definitely not real friends, but they’re as rich as one another and as used to a life of comfort as one another, so they FEEL like shared life experience dictates what they shld be. it’s very surface level and they probably talk shit abt each other ( or at the very least abt lottie, but i don’t take that personal ) all the time.

one person who’s genuinely... nothing like her. think AIMEE & MAEVE from sex education, as the insp. lottie is quite shallow and naive, but they’re much more gritty and knowledgeable. their friendship is genuine and they care about her a lot and vice versa, but maybe they don’t spend much time together in public for whatever reason.

exes! flings! etc. lottie has quite a few, i imagine

LOTTIE BLAIRE, our TATI GABRIELLE fc, is looking for her EX FIANCÉ connection who looks like LUCIEN LAVISCOUNT, GEORGE MACKAY, SANTIAGO SEGURA, ANY MALE / MALE ALIGNED FC who is 22+. you DO have to contact prior to applying at PARABCLLUMS or DISCORD. ( just over a year ago, lottie won celebrity love island season nine [ winter edition ] with her partner, after a highly dramatic season full of both... wicked betrayals and widely memed moments. they both coupled up and uncoupled a few times with other islanders, before they became a fan favorite pair about... midway through the show. definitely had a 'sex outside of the hideaway' scandal. definitely talked at length about how the other was the 'ONE', for them. when they were announced the winners, one of them proposed live on air and they seemed set to be the next it couple born from the reality tv show. they did some joint interviews, they were pictured together all of the time, their social medias were absolutely FULL of one another... and then, just after it was announced in a gossip mag that lottie was set to do celebrity say yes to the dress [ and yes, probably don't tell the bride ], they announced their split and broke hearts all over the world. don't confuse this with the level of emotionally charged connect we are all used to. i think it could be really fun ! very diff ! lots of headcanon possibility and lots of drama openings ! but definitely... so funny. ideas for parents wld be... emma frost & namor, patricia walker, bruce wayne, ryoko sabuki, janet van dyne & hank pym, tony stark & pepper potts, t'challa, shuri... anyone p influential / rich tbh! )

#sidekick.intro #lotties tags tbd.#there is so little to her n yet i love her

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