#I’m not weird I promise

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

anyway necessary abuse analysis after I watched the episode bc like. c’mon I cannot avoid that.

as of episode 12, obviously i do not know much about ozai, azula (I am spoiled to hell on this show i know she exists), and even really zuko (i was not expecting him to be that obviously a child at that moment jesus fucking Christ) but i think there’s a lot you can gather from specifically the dynamic of abuse set up.

ozai clearly sees his children as extensions of himself- less as people and more as status symbols he can throw out if they stop working. and that’s really shown in the way zuko was abused. not just the very obvious severe physical abuse- not only did he severely and painfully scar his like twelve? maybe? year old son, but he likely at the very least also severely hampered his vision (look at his eye, it’s noticeably unable to open properly where the scar tissue is) and disabled him for life)- but specifically how it was set up to publicly humiliate zuko.

the agni kai was a public spectacle- there’s so many people in the audience, it’s horrifying to think about (though thankfully it seems that it's not entirely common knowledge)- one where he humiliated and degraded zuko for his lack of “honour”- which was him showing compassion and him being a child who loved his father and was terrified of hurting him and just wanted to know how to fix things. it’s a very calculated, deliberate act of abuse, and considering the severity it almost certainly was not the first instance- in fact, zuko's immediate apologetic behaviour and terror at the idea of his father seems to suggest he's been abused before, being (understandable) trauma responses.

i think the way azula acts supports this even further- she’s not at all surprised at the, again, very very severe and visceral physical abuse happening in front of her, only reacting by grinning. she has seen this before. not to this extent, nothing that left scars- or at least, obvious ones- perhaps not even prior physical abuse, but her brother being humiliated and made to feel small and worthless in front of her is something that is simply normal to her. zuko gets abused, and she watches proud that it isn’t her. it’s abusive to her too, in that sense- it’s a threat of violence, if she ever makes her father lose face. their existence is to make their father look good and to be useful- and if they aren’t, they’ll be discarded in the cruellest of ways. that is just something the two grew up knowing, one way or another.

and like, this is clearly why zuko is like that. he’s obsessed with honour because that is a tool that has clearly been used against him to justify his fathers abuse even before this- it’s an ideal he strives for because he thinks it’ll make him worthy of love. and that’s all he wants, for his dad to love him, because he is still a teenager and inherently trusts his parents and blames himself for his own abuse because of that. if he was abused and discarded, it’s his fault in his mind. he needs to fix it, he's the problem in the family. he's fixated so heavily on it because he’s convinced that it’s the only way anyone would ever love or care for him at all- and even the love his uncle shows him can’t convince him otherwise, because he can't accept the idea that he even deserves it. zuko might appear cocky, but he’s the opposite- he’s been brought up to view himself and his worth only in the value he served his father, and cut off from that he sees himself as someone worthless, someone completely unlovable, and he's desperate to fix it, because he views it as his moral failure.

i just. ugh. fucking hell. i am killing ozai with my bare hands those are children those are Tiny how can you look at like young Zuko and fucking do that he’s so obviously a child and it’s so clear this is not the first time this has happened and I’m killing and maiming. ow.

#atla #atla analysis #fire nation royal family #zuko #ozai #azula but only a bit #again I am on episode 12 lol I am Not far into this series I just talk about abuse a lot #I’m not weird I promise #abuse tw #victim blaming tw

[crispy-crust]

they should make food that screams i think it’d be awesome if i bit into a donut and it started wailinG

#why did i think of this #why am i postinG this #i’m not weird i promise #Gwen thouGht dump

[rierice8]

Ok so heres a little analysis on one of my favourite fan comics ever, the path to freedom, drawn by Creantzy, my favourite artist ever who I honestly look up to art wise (I don’t post my art but I draw a lot too haha) love their art style and they have such based taste in shows-

Now, onto my analysis!

Starting with the characters

So when it comes to the way Creantzy portrayed Kolya, I find it very charming. He’s similar to the way he normally is in the manga and show, yet his base principals are different, or rather, reversed. As Creantzy mentioned themselves, the comic version “Seeking the truth vs seeking a chosen illusion, that's their difference”

Now some of my own observations about not only Kolyas character, but about the way the priests manipulation works are: back in part 3 you see Kolya trying to talk about the church and the priest, and his eyes turn green and blank as he says things he doesn’t agree with, yet he tries to pull himself out of it and speak of his emotions towards knowing that he's being brainwashed. But at times he switches back to that brainwashed state, truly demonstrating how you really can’t tell which thoughts are his own and which are planted, to the point he can’t even trust god. He doubts his own beliefs because of the priest's manipulation, also showing the toxic reality of being manipulated in the real world, and how it affects a person to the point they doubt their own strong beliefs. When Kolya says “I’m a filthy sinner” you can tell those aren’t his words, from the green, and that the priest is manipulating Kolya into believing that him doubting his beliefs and trying to deny the priest's manipulation made him a sinner. Kolya has gotten to the point of distrust that he can’t trust his feelings anymore because if his thoughts are being manipulated then feelings, which are in themselves a form of thought, are also being manipulated so that he can’t even find truth in himself. If there's nothing he can trust whatsoever, there's no point in living, and he wishes to be free from it all, just like in the manga/anime where he says he wants to be as free as a bird, and how earlier in the comic he said he would write in the book, a pair of wings, so he could be free and fly away from this place. Kolya is in himself terrified at the thought of not having free will. Kolya really only trusts Fedya, and I assume maybe because Fedya’s confident and doesn’t seem to be bound to anything. As to say that Fedya doesn’t find himself bound to the fear and controlling aspect of religion, and holds himself rather well, along with being incredibly smart and emotionally aware. He also lent his ear to Kolya from the moment they met and never once doubted what he told Fedya, something I don’t think Kolya must have gotten the chance to do back in his village where everyone is brainwashed too. I can imagine Kolya trying to tell his own parents that they're being brainwashed by the priest and his parents yelling at him and calling him the same words that the priest must have embedded into the minds of all the brainwashed. That anyone who doubts the priest is a “filthy sinner” I can imagine that “against god” is another saying that's basically written into the brainwashing code, since the priest clearly thinks of himself as god, with people worshipping him under the mask of them worshipping the lord.

Now I���m gonna ramble about part 5 too for a minute.

In part 5 Fedya asked Kolya just how far he’d go for freedom, in which Kolya replied that he’d go very far, including as far as to kill a man, thinking that bending and conforming to the fear of going to hell is in itself brainwashing. He’d rather go to hell by his own accord thento just be sent there, and he also said that he liked the idea of rebelling against god himself, despite how evil Fedya’s plan was. I personally think that Kolya was attracted by the idea of rebelling against god because of how controlling and brainwashing religion is, and that if he truly wants to be free, going against those divine powers really can prove to him just how free he is. He’s tired of being controlled by the priest and being controlled by fear (whether that be of hell or of god) is the same thing, and is not truly freedom.Fedya says the priest is foolish because of how he relies on his ability heavily, never learning much about human psychology (this was mentioned in the notes in part 7) The priest’s ego is so inflated that he can’t see that he isn’t in fact god.

By the way, before I talk about part 7, I gotta mention that I love the change in the cover page, now having Kolya covered in blood, since he kills the priest in this episode.

As mentioned by Creantzy, “When he was suddenly in a different room, his confusion was supposed to be bigger than his fear, so that when he asked Nikolai what had happened he wouldn’t use his ability on him since he wanted the true answer to his question.”

This in my opinion is just such a well thought out plot point, that makes so much sense it makes me giddy with joy! This way, it gives Kolya the little opening he needs to kill the priest. The priest then also got confused when Kolya said that the lord had shown him, giving a chance for Kolya’s lovely, satisfying one liner.

“GO TO HELL!!!”

Now, I love my little delulu Fedya, but as delulu as got towards the end of his speech, he raised a couple of very good points, all which loop back into the cycle of sin that Kolya’s church represents, and how, as humans, we will never truly be free of sin, as it’s in our nature as humans with free will. Free will often means that some people will use that for bad, and in this case, and specifically for Kolya (and ofc Fedya but focusing on Kolya), being bad is *true* free will, and *true* freedom. Also that crime and punishment reference…I see you. Can't talk about sin as Dostoyevsky without the classic Dostoyevsky. (Rodya my bbg 🥰)

Now Fedya joins Kolya all covered in blood, fyolai canon??

Now everyone starts violently dying, and we see Fedya’s ability in live action. And I love, by love I mean LOVEEE, Fedya crossing himself and praying as he commits mass murder. And how the prayer is written in cryllic, (my russian tutor would be so proud of how I tried so hard to read it before only making out one word and giving up-) it was a lovely detail that probably isn’t as big of a deal as I find it to be. But now also back to Fedya crossing himself in the light of the screaming: I think it really shows how delusional Fedya is, thinking that he really was sent by God as one of the few sinners who are there to cleanse the rest of the sinners. He saw no difference between men, women and children, deeming them all in need of cleansing, since that was his job, entrusted to him by God. I also think his delusional mindset must stem from a childhood where he basically had “gifted kid syndrome.” Where his mother, father, teachers and church must have told him he was “super smart” and “special” and “different from the others” leading him to truly believe that he is fundamentally *different*, even though he’s just a regular human. He would never get along with other kids and the only thing that made any sense to him was that he was just born different. And so that must have been god's message, he must have been born that way, since god wanted him to be different, and not get too close to other “normal” people so that he could carry out god's wish for him. Since he was born so smart and helpful, yet no one liked or understood him because of this, so he convinced himself it must be better this way. So Kolya, who seemingly was the first he ever let that close, his first real friend, the first person who understood him and trusted him, really meant a lot to Fedya. Key word, MENT, because CREANTZY decided it was a masterful idea to MURDER KOLYA!!! LIKE TF BESTIE??? Part ten brought me physical, emotional and mental pain, and I will forever cry over them.

Furthermore proving that artists and authors thrive off of their fan bases suffering.

(I am not excluded, I just don’t post my writing cuz no one reads it)

Fedya really wanted to free Kolya, and help him heal. Yet Kolya had the intention to kill himself like this, I’m assuming, since hearing Fedya’s plan. He wanted to do something unscripted, something outrageous, something to prove he wasn’t getting controlled, and that he did this of his own free will. Besides, Kolya was far too far gone, already succumbing to his lack of trust and belief that nothing in the world will ever make him free. Again these are the real effects of manipulation on a real human, (I should know 🤭) and if you get to such a point of no return, as Kolya was, he only found his freedom in the free will of ending his own life. I think that Kolya mentioning that he didn’t want to live in a world of ability users like that, who all have the potential to control him whenever, kinda ties to how Fedya’s goal in the manga/anime is to use the book to rid the world of the sin that is ability users. Fedya had always considered Kolya as very similar to himself, being one of the extraordinary, yet Kolya himself never even wanted to be one of the extraordinary. Now I was sobbing and kicking the bed crying when Kolya said he was nothing but Fedya’s “dear friend” since I know that to Fedya that must mean so so much more. Fedya had no friends ever, so having one just to lose him like this must have totally crushed him.

NOW THE FACT THAT MOLYA IS REPLACED BY A BLOOD SPLATTER IN THE PART 12 COVER IS PURE EVIL, WHY WOULD YOU REMIND ME!!

“I wanted us to become partners in crime, and work to fix this world together. I will not allow myself such wishful thinking again.” Clearly the loss of Kolya changed Fedyas mentality, really reaffirming in his mind that as one of the extraordinary, he is not allowed friends or partners to assist him, by the hand of god himself. As one of the extraordinary (Fedya delulu again) he cannot afford such things, but really it's just that he doesn’t want to replace Kolya too, even saving him a place by his side, so that he can write him back into existence. Fedya plunged into solitude and studying once Kolya died, leading him to learn things about abilities manifesting from trauma and that Abilities are innately sin, and will only cause more suffering. So now he references back to his canon goal, yet here, I think it's fully inspired by Kolya’s words, and only fuelled by Fedya’s delusions that he is sent by god as an extraordinary gifted.

Anyways, that's the end of my analysis!

Thanks so much Creantzy for making such a captivating and beautiful comic with my favourite boyss! The plot was excellently thought out, written and wasn’t told too fast or too slow, just perfect. I like to head cannon that Fedya comes to talk to Kolyas grave regularly, and have regular chats with him about anything and everything, because when he writes him back to life with the book, he will remember it all, and it’ll be as if they’d been together all that time- Idk tho!! I’m excited to read more on Fedya’s backstory though, so far all my guesses were right, he's a little gifted prodigy child whose parents always told him he was special and so he had no real friends and felt super disconnected- me too buddy, me too 🫡 and I loved all the mtp william references in his childhood, he’s such a william kinnie in the canon anyways, your just doing it justice.

ANYWAYS IF YOU READ THIS, I LOVE YOUR ART AND WRITING FLOW, IT'S SO GOOD!! Look up to it a lot, I use your art as one of my references for the art style I’d like to have someday, just of course mixed around with other artists I like and then made into my own thing! Thanks a lot for encouraging the idea of this analysis too!!

This felt more like a rant really but, I hope you find it amusing haha @creantzy !!

#notice me senpai #🥺 #JUST JOKING #I’m not weird I promise #I’m rly not even gonna bother tag this lolol #rice dying #bsd

[moonysfavoritetoast]

oh oh god i just realized my likes are public

#i’m not weird i promise #*procedes to leave them public*

[totallynotqueer]

Bite bite bite I wish to bite

Bite bite bite

#biting #bit #bite #why #why do I want to bite #shit post #I’m not weird I promise #I wish to bite

[hylianane]

I have a feeling that Sanji and Zoro’s death pact will be properly resolved in Elbaf, as it certainly doesn’t feel like we’re done with it. And while Elbaf is gearing up to be very Usopp-centric (and I can not overstate how hyped I am to see him take the spotlight again, finally), let’s not forget that this all ties back to Little Garden, the arc that properly introduced Zoro and Sanji’s rivalry by paralleling them with two rival giants who fought each other every day for over a century, but who also lost themselves in their grief when one thought the other death. The parallel isn’t even subtle, Little Garden’s biggest landmarks are the remnants of Dorry and Brogy’s dinosaur hunting competition. You know. The very same competition Zoro and Sanji posed to each other at the start of the arc?

But here’s the thing. I’m a little worried about how it’s going to be resolved. Because. Despite how readily Zoro agreed to kill Sanji if need be, he must have known that the crew would never forgive him. Zoro is Luffy’s specialest guy but Luffy would not accept any excuse as to why Sanji had to die. Nor anyone else in the crew. But. Does Sanji realize that?

Does he know that killing him would literally be the hardest thing Zoro would ever do, because it would mean literally betraying his Captain and crew? Luffy said he can’t become Pirate King without Sanji, and Zoro and Luffy swore they’d commit fucking ritualistic suicide if they got in the way of each other’s dreams, so does Sanji know where that would leave the swordsman in this case? With no Captain, no crew, and yet another dead rival and best friend (who, mind you, began to live in fear of his own biology betraying him right before dying. but the parallels between Kuina and Sanji and how they relate to Zoro could be a long ass post for another day).

I think he doesn’t know. But he can’t find out how Zoro would mourn him unless the pact actually follows through. But still, I don’t think Oda would kill Sanji, cause that’s no way to resolve this issue. So here’s my speculation about how I think it could potentially play out, following that initial line of thinking of the death pact’s resolution being set in Elbaf, specifically because of Sanji and Zoro’s parallels to Dorry and Brogy.

Like Brogy, Zoro would have to believe that he killed Sanji. That he won their final duel. He’d have to believe that Sanji has fallen and, also like Brogy, have to face that grief and hurt all alone. But in the end, like Dorry, Sanji would survive, having never actually been hurt. Because their edges have dulled after fighting for so long, no longer as capable of landing killing blows as they thought. “Not even the blades of Elbaf could endure two giants fighting for 100 years”? Something of the sort. And maybe this line of speculation is simplistic or optimistic, but the chances of it playing out like this aren’t zero, so just in case, I would want to be able to say that I called it.

#i also cant rlly see the death pact being brought up again anytime before we get to elbaf proper #and any time afterward itd just feel. out of place? like too personal a conflict to be placed into the final arc where the strawhats- #-are supposed to be at their strongest and ready for their final challenges. Infighting at that stage would feel distracting? Melodramatic? #Zoro’s also not gonna finish fighting Mihawk and then go fight Sanji like it’s items on a murder grocery list #specially because it feels weird to place his showdown with his current friend-rival AFTER fulfilling his promise to Kuina? And not before? #like idk idk Oda is very meticulous about fitting all his plotlines together I’m sure he’ll know what to do better than me #but uh. This is my pitch on how and when it could play out #one piece #my post #zosan #??? I MEAN #you cant discuss the death pact without making it a little bit zosan #idk how to tag this tho or how many people i’d like to see this. hn

[deathgasmic]

i’m not allowed to have a dick because frankly i would stick it in random objects just to see how it felt

#bro just pass me the jar filled with orbees #i promise i’m not gonna do anything weird with it

[astralzeraphias]

he has a minigun now

#megatron #maccadam #transformers #pinkatron #i’m sorry @ ms splendid for only spending five seconds w/ u as my pfp…… i blame this on god #‘megatron should be a tank’ ‘megatron should be a helicopter’ shut the fuck up . he has a mini gun now . #anyways . i don’t think him turning into a gun is stupid . i think it’s funny #hasbro please let him turn into a minigun i promise i won’t be weird about it #(<- is lying) #gunatron

[fruitypemi]

“oh it’s on 😈” ahh image

#i love this image so much #IM SK ESCOTED FOR THEIR RIVALRY #evil villain face anxiety.. all i need.. #i’m not weird guys i promise #inside out #inside out 2 #anxiety inside out #joy inside out

[cupiidzbow]

im adding a new thing to my new carrd im making and i know not everyone reads it when following me so im just gonna post this here in advance before I finish the carrd 😭😭😭

#I love sharing my f/os and you can think the guys I like are attractive all you want!!! #but I just don’t like treated like im a blank character where other people can insert themselves in place of me 😭😭😭 #like . it’s just very much me….. yknow … like thats now I portray myself 😭😭😭 #my sonas aren’t really separated from me. they’re indeed me 😭😭😭 #i had art I’ve drawn of my sona blow up and people going me coded!!! Or misgendering me bc they don’t think it’s me 😭😭 #like no that’s me . hope that helps 😭 #I’m also gonna add a couple characters I am uncomfortable with people shipping with to my cards bc um…. side eyes… uhhh #like there’s a handful of characters im gonna look at you a bit weird over #but trust me almost all of people I interact with are all good I promise 🫶🏽 #txt

[rey-of-stardust]

Went to one of the dropout presents shows tn and it was SO GOOD I cannot wait to see the recordings of the rest of them

#dimension 20 #dropout #sam reich #ally beardsley #zac oyama #game changer #I almost asked sam if he was here the whole time #but apparently he was there alllll day #dropout staff and PA’s u are icons #pls let me PA I promise I won’t be weird #I’m super passionate about things

[archer-antiope]

ways porter could have communicated that anger is ok to gorgug

shown gorgug the same willingness to work through the differences in their belief systems/style the way he has during with one-on-ones fig, using metaphors gorgug would understand

arranged a conference with himself, gorgug, henry hopclap, and maybe gorgug’s parents to iron out a way for gorgug to academically progress forward, communicate concerns, and figure out this disconnect gorgug seems to have with one of the fundamental features of his class

had a singular conversation with gorgug before piling on years worth of academic stress in the hopes of provoking him into some form of outburst

#fh #fhjy #i agree with brennan’s thing in the ap is that porter’s way of thinking gorgug is promising Sucks #i’m not sure if he’s a villain in disguise #but he for SURE has weirdness as a teacher with gorgug #the way lucilla had weirdness as a teacher for fig #porter cliffbreaker #gorgug thistlespring #my post

[gummy-sharks666]

Im BEGGING monster… enjoyers… to consider the gundalians from bakugan bc

The horns,,, the fangs,,, the eyessss ohhhh my god give them to me NOW 👹

#bakugan #gundalian invaders #bakugan battle brawlers #bakugan gundalian invaders #pspspsps #come here and join me in my weird little corner #gundalians #alien species #terat0philliac #??? i guess #I’m sorry i keep posting ab this #im on my period #and im insane #I’m sorry half the pics are such shit quality this is all this fandom has to work with #I promise I’ll stop soon #monsters #monster fucker #monster fuqqer #I tried to find Sid but the picture quality of every image of him is absolute dogshit #I just want them to bite me 🫢🫢🫢

[scyape]

I love the mitski joke. It’s in my blood.

#vid not pic #my art #the owl house #luz noceda #hunter toh #grimwalker #the golden guard #btw don’t put some fuck shit in the tags #some of u were like . trying to say I was 13 when I’m almost 20 #but like almost in a condescending way #because of a mitski joke lmfao #it was weird as hell #don’t do that #I promise I know more bands and whatever #I just really like mitski hunter #he is so special to me

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

#my art stuff #digital art #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle” #I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style #but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!! #I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism #cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever #constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal #you know how it is 😔 #I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff - #- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it #which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance #I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead #it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong” #at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards #man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether #either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something #being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff #don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes #tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me #i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure

[rainbowpufflez]

Wip (finished now posted here!)

Been listening to this song and thinking about them too much

#believe it or not this is the most typical Bo kinda drawing #heads exploding (not literally but yknow) #dream sequence #someone reaching out while the other is like dying /hj #y’know the likes #anything to not draw Lysandre’s face ig /j /nsrs /lh #I promised I shipped them for angst reasons so #gotta provide 😊 #this is supposed to take place after all the Geosenge stuff #and is supposed to be like a weird dream sequence ish thing #basically it’s just Sycamore grieving and trying to move on #Lys is basically just clothes to represent him being dead(?) #plus if I ever made anything more to this scene it would be Sycamore grabbing him and then waking up holding his coat #had to make them hurt cause I love them 😊 #we’ll see when I get this done cause I’m actually hella busy 😭 #lysandre pokemon #professor sycamore #perfectworldshipping #rainbowpufflez art tag