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axelsagewrites · 7 months

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Jamie Tartt*The Bet

Pairing: Jamie x f!reader

Word count: 5794

Warnings: jamie asking the reader out as a bet, prick jamie in the beginning, mentions of sex but nothing explicit, angst, a lot of fucks but this is Ted Lasso

Materlist here

“mate do you know who I am?” Jamie said, gesturing to himself as he Issac and Collin sat in the back corner of a crowded nightclub, “I’m telling you man I could get any girl in here. Guy too if I really wanted,”

“please bruv,” Issac scoffed, rolling his eyes. They were used to Jamie being a cocky prick on the field but after a few too many beers and Issac getting rejected twice in one night he was bitter and felt the need to prove something, “all you do is get laid. You’ve not had a girlfriend in like ever,” he said making Jamie roll his eyes this time.

“at least I can get laid. Getting a girlfriends easy,” Jamie said.

“nah he’s right mate,” Collin pipped up making Jamie roll his eyes yet again, “getting laid’s the easy bit, you can’t make them stick around,”

“Keeley stuck around,” Jamie tried to argue but this time his teammates just laughed, “what?”

“all yous did was hookup it’s not like yous were proper dating,” Issac said, Collin nodding in agreement, “face it Jamie girls only talk to you for sex,”

Jamie scoffed at the pair but the more he thought about it he was wondering if they were right. Sure, he and Keeley had been together for a few months before they split but every time, they saw each other it always ended in sex. Now he was thinking about it he wasn’t sure if he had taken her on an actual date the whole time, “if I wanted to, I could have a girlfriend,”

“prove it,” Collin said making even Issac raise an eyebrow, “if you can date a girl for a month and get her to be your girlfriend by the end of it, I’ll give you my car,” Issac let out a low whistle as Jamie laughed. Was he seriously considering this? A new car did sound nice though, “but no sex,”

“what?” Jamie said, well almost shouted as he ignored the confused looks from those around, “no sex for a month?”

“what are you some kind of addict?” Issac scoffed at the man, “Collins right. One month, no sex, serious commitment. Then you get his car,”

Jamie shook his head, scoffing as he leant back in his seat. He ignored the probing and teasing of his mates as he considered it for a moment. Sure, he could buy a new car but the feeling of driving Collins car to practise would be pretty sweet, “fine you’re on,” he said suddenly making both boys head snap around.

Collin for a second looked unsure before he added his final stipulation, “but we get to pick the girl,”

Issac and Collin had insisted you don’t find a girlfriend in a club so by the end of practise tomorrow they would assign Jamie his target. When the two came up to him in the locker room after practise Jamie almost regretted the bet when he saw their grin. “we’ve found her,” Issac said.

“the perfect girl,” Collin added, “oh and I’ve decided if I win, I get your car,”

Jamie shrugged as he stood from the bench, “fine deals a deal. Who’s the girl?”

When Issac pulled out his phone for a second Jamie almost felt bad. Almost. He recognised who the insta belonged to instantly. You were Rebecca’s personal assistant, so it was not rare for Jamie to see you floating around Richmond, but he’d never seen your insta before. “no sex yeah?” He said, taking the phone from Issacs hand to look through your pics, “bummer but a deals a deal. Its gonna feel so sweet driving that Lambo,” he grinned as he tossed the phone back to Issac.

“you’ve got a week to ask her out or you instantly fail the challenge,” Issac said, “and as the one not putting his car on the line I’m the captain of this bet,” Jamie rolled his eyes as Issac proceeded to lay down the law, “and if we find out you lied about any after date activities or skipped a date with her then you lose and will owe a fine of £1000,”

Jamie scoffed, gesturing like Issac was a mad man, “whatcha gonna do? Stalk me or some shit?”

“she’s pals with Sam so he’ll tell us,” Collin said before his eyes went wide, “which reminds me no one but us three can know,” he said before glancing around the locker room, “it’s a secret,” he whispered.

Jamie rolled his eyes before pushing past them both, “whatevs boys. Don’t worry I won’t gloat too much when I win,” he grinned as he walked out the locker room leaving everyone, but Issac and Collin confused.

It was as if as soon as the bet started you had disappeared. Jamie was used to seeing you running all over the place but the one time he saw you the first three days was you driving off in your beat-up car. For a second, he thought Rebecca should be paying you better. It didn’t help that each time either of his friends saw him they reminded him the clock was ticking.

On Thursday however when Jamie saw you walk past the gym door, he quickly dropped his weights, running out the room with no thought or care for Roy shouting after him to rerack his weights. You were heading in the directions of the locker room and Jamie saw this as the perfect excuse as he jogged up to your side, “looking for me,” he said making you jump, almost dropping your clipboard.

“Christ Jamie you scared me,” you said, trying to catch your breath and also not make a complete fool out of yourself. “but no, I’m looking for ted. Rebecca needs him to sign something,”

“funny that most girls want my autograph not his,” Jamie said, trying to put on his best charismatic laugh but when you only gave a small chuckle and not a giggle like he was used to him thought he may have to change tactics. “I’ll walk ya. I’ve gotta grab something from my locker anyhow,”

“that’s nice but you don’t have to,” you said, giving him a small smile as you clutched the clipboard close to your chest.

In truth while you were trying to stay professional right now you did have a secret crush on the famous football player. Yes, you knew it was cliche and you knew Jamie flirted with every woman on the planet which is why you were trying to not fall for his adorable smile right now, “ah come on let me keep you company,” Jamie laughed, knocking his shoulder into you, “gets lonely walking these halls,”

You laughed at his dumb attempts at flirting and hated how easily you were falling for it, “ah yes the three-minute walk might be the end of me,”

“good thing you’ve got me to keep ya going love,” he joked.

This banter and small talk were the longest conversation you think you’d ever had with Jamie, and you couldn’t help but notice that while ted was signing the papers, he hadn’t actually grabbed anything from his lockers. “tell you what love,” Jamie said as he held the locker room door open for you, “I’ll even walk you back to where I found you,”

“oh, wow Jamie Tartt, such a gentleman,” you joked.

As you neared the gym again, laughing at one of Jamies dumb flirty jokes you bumped into Sam who said hello with a very concerned look on his face. After he said goodbye to you and you headed back to your office he turned to Jamie with a far more serious look, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“eh nothing?” He said, completely caught off guard by the seriousness in Sams tone.

Sam sighed and stepped in closer to Jamie, “it better be nothing. She is a good girl she doesn’t deserve to have her heart played with,”

“calm down Sam I’ve no done anything,” Jamie said as he tried to get past his teammate, but Sam grabbed his arm to stop him, “seriously man I’m not gonna hurt her,”

“Jamie, I know what you’re like. And that’s fine you can do you. But I won’t let you hurt my friend,” Sam said sternly.

Jamie rolled his eyes as he took Sams hand off his arm, “for your information. I’m a changed man. I plan on being the perfect gentleman from now on, alright?” He said but Sam just narrowed his eyes, “honest man. Getting bored of all this casual pish ya know?” Jamie said as he stuck his hands into his short’s pockets.

It wasn’t fully a lie. Jamie had been getting bored of all the one-night stands and the drama that came along but Sam just narrowed his eyes further before silently heading back to the gym. Jamie rolled his eyes as he followed along and headed to jump on an exercise bike, ignoring how Sam had gone to go whisper to Issac.

A knock on your office door made you look up with a smile, “hey Sam, you alright?” You asked as you shut down your laptop for the day.

“yes of course,” he said as he walked into your office and slumped down onto the chair in front of your desk, “just wanted to see my friend, is that a crime?”

“I’ll allow it,” you laughed as you packed your bag, “you need a lift home?” You asked as you grabbed your car keys.

“I wouldn’t say no,” he grinned as he jumped right back out the chair and you both began your decent to the car park, “but I was wanting to talk to you about something,”

“what’s up?” You said as you locked your office door.

Sam sighed as he followed you through the corridors, “what’s happening with you and Jamie?”

You shrugged, honestly not sure yourself what was happening, “nothing really, we were just talking. Did he say something or?” You asked.

“kind of,” Sam said, his face screwing up for a second, “he said he was a gentleman now, but I worry. I don’t want you getting hurt,”

“I’m a big girl Sam,” you joked, nudging him, and making him laugh, “besides he’s Jamie tart. I doubt he meant it,”

“according to Issac he does,” Sam said which honestly made you more surprised than anything. You spoke to Issac even less than you had Jamie, so it was weird to think of him and Jamie having deep conversations about settling down, “apparently, he wants to settle down or something. I don’t know whether to believe it but why would Issac lie?”

“weird,” you muttered as you and Sam finally reached the car park and he held the door for you to slip out, “besides that doesn’t mean he wants to be with me,”

“don’t put yourself down,” Sam said, nudging you with his elbow as he sent you a reassuring smile, “he’d be lucky to even get one date with you,”

“you have to say that” you said as you rolled your eyes and pulled out your car keys.

As you were unlocking your car the door to the car park opened again and out walked a freshly showered Jamie, his hair still clearly damp. He didn’t have a right to look this attractive you thought but you’d been looking for too long as when Jamie looked up, he caught your stare.

He waved with a wide grin as he headed over to his own car across the lot. You gave a small wave back as you slipped into the driver’s seat. You glanced across through Sams window to see he was still looking at you and you prayed to god he couldn’t see how flustered you were as you tried to start the car. Sam had seen though, and merciless teasing followed you the whole drive back to his house.

Jamie figured he had time, so he spent the next two days flirting with you in the corridors despite Issac and Collin reminding him he only had to Sunday. However, Sunday was matchday and you were always in the owner’s box with Rebecca. While she was your boss you had grown quite close, so you often sat wedged between her and Keeley as you tried to keep up with the team.

“did Jamie just wave to you?” Keeley asked as Jamie ran onto the pitch. Your blush was undisguisable as you tried to shrug it off, “omg babes you fancy him?” She practically squealed as she clutched your arm.

“maybe I don’t know,” you said, hating the way his name was already making you smile. “he’s your ex though so- “

“nah babes go for it. I’ve got Roy now. Oh, we could double date how cute!” The rest of the match was spent with Keeley telling you how perfect it would be, and you figured if his ex-spoke so highly of him then how bad could he be?

The match went smashing with Richmond winning three nil and soon you were in the press room stood next to Rebecca as ted got interviewed and you took notes. You looked up confused when Rebecca nudged you, but she just nodded towards the door. When you looked through the window you saw Jamie lent against the wall by the door and when you looked back to Rebecca she just smirked and nudged you towards the door.

You silently chuckled at the fact she’d obviously listened to yours and Keeley’s conversation as you made your way to talk to Jamie. “hey,” you grinned, shutting the door behind you softly. “you did great out there,”

“was easy with you cheering me on,” he smirked as he started walking down the corridor with you following after him.

“who said I was cheering for you?” You joked.

Jamie held a hand to his heart in mock offence, “love you’re breaking my heart here. Here I was coming to ask if you wanted to go celebrate my glorious victory,”

“cocky much?” You laughed but rolled your eyes at the way he smirked, “fuck off not like that,”

“didn’t say a thing,” Jamie shrugged but the devious smile on his lips said something different. “c’mon whatcha say love?”

You paused for a moment, crossing your arms as you turned to face him, “what did you have in mind?”

“you, me, fancy restaurant,” Jamie said, stepping closer, his finger brushing over your cheek so gently it felt like a feather, “some nice wine. Just some wholesome fun,”

“wholesome fun?” You laughed, trying not to get lost in his eyes. It was unfair this allure he had on you.

Jamie chuckled softly, “course babe,” the pet names sounded so good coming from him and his accent, “haven’t you heard? I’m a gentleman now,” he said, his hand falling from your face making you miss his touch but laugh at the way he placed his hand over his heart, “scouts honour,”

“were you even a scout?” You laughed as he shook his head no with a cheesy grin, “suppose one date wouldn’t kill me,”

“trust me love. You won’t regret it,”

You didn’t want to say you were shocked, but Jamie was right. The night had been perfect. You ate some of the best food in your life, drank some ridiculously expensive wine, and even started to flirt back with Jamie over dinner. He really was pulling out all the stops.

He wore his best suit, with a shirt as well even if he couldn’t bring himself to ditch the trainers. He pulled your chair out for you, ordered dessert to share, he even insisted on walking you home at the end of the night. “guess that’s me,” you said as you stood by your front door.

“guess so,” Jamie smiled as he looked down at you, “told you you wouldn’t regret it,” he said, completely ruining the moment but making you laugh as you unlocked your front door.

“give it time. I might regret it later,” you joked as you opened your door, half wondering if Jamie was going to try invite himself in. You were also wondering whether or not to let him. The night had been good after all, and you weren’t usually so strict on the three-date rule.

“I’ll text ya yeah?” Jamie said since he had only just got your number on the walk home, “better not be a fake one you gave me,” he joked.

“you’ll have to wait and see,” you laughed. Maybe he wasn’t going to try make a move then you thought, “goodnight, Jamie,”

Jamie stepped forward. He’s going to kiss me you thought but instead he leaned in to leave a soft kiss on your cheek, “night love,” he said quietly before stepping back, grinning at the way he had left you speechless, “see ya soon babe,” he said as he began to walk down the street.

You waved after him, unable to speak before you closed the door behind yourself. This really had been the perfect date. Maybe Jamie was a gentleman now. When you went to get changed you felt your phone buzz and you laughed when you saw the text.

-just checking – Jamie

You laughed, texting him back instantly.

-as if I’d give you a fake number lol

Jamie grinned when he saw your reply before tucking his phone into his jacket pocket. However, as Jamie was walking home a thought crossed his mind. Fuck, what if he really did like you? Sure, Jamie knew the bet was probably a morally wrong thing to do but it was for a Lamborghini, Collins prized car. He spent the rest of his walk home telling himself it was alright, even if he did end up liking you what was the harm? He’d date you for a month then give you a clean, mess free break up.

Then another issue started. Jamie had fallen for you head over heels. You’d spent the whole night texting, the next week constantly flirting or hanging out after practise. Within two weeks you had been on three dates and Collin had commented on his dedication to win this car which only made Jamie feel worse.

He’d kissed you on your second date after visiting the movies. He even waited till after the movie was finished to do it. It did not help him not fall for you. If anything, it made it harder to stay away from you. Your third week dating you hung out every day whether it be grabbing lunch or making dinner at his house.

The only drawback was Jamie having to turn down your advances, insisting he wanted to take it slow. But by week four he didn’t even mind not having sex. The casual nights watching telly was enough for him. The way you would cuddle him on the couch or how you would lounge around his house with him, both of you wearing his sweats and hoodies. Seeing you in his hoodie melted his heart.

“three more days and the cars are yours bruv,” Issac had said to him during practise and Jamie realised a terrifying thought. What if you found out?

Jamie shrugged it off, trying to forget about it the whole time but it weighed him down the whole practise. Jamie deliberately hung back in the locker room that night, making sure he could catch Collin alone, “maybe we should call off the bet mate,” he said quietly as the last person exited the room.

“why? Scared she’s gonna dump ya?” He laughed as he patted his shoulder before leaving the locker room and now Jamie was left alone to feel like shit.

That was till a gentle knock snapped him out of his thoughts, “ready to go?” You smiled from the locker room door. Jamie put on his best happy face as he grabbed his bag, wrapping his arm around you as you headed to the car park.

The whole walk Jamie was silently thinking about the shit he had landed himself in. Then again, the bet never said he had to break up with you. Issac had said only him, and Collin were allowed to know. He could just let Collin keep his car and no one would need to know. Yeah, it would be fine. He was sure of it. Everything would be fine. Jamie had no idea how wrong he was and how badly this week was going to end.

Jamie tried to push it out of his head that night, but it was now the only thing he could think about. You were both laying on the couch, you being the big spoon while he rested his head on your chest. “You okay baby?” You asked while stroking his hair. “You’ve been quiet all day,”

Jamie was snapped out of his thoughts glancing over to you with a small smile, “Sorry love. Just one of those days you know?”

Jamie tried his best to act normal for the rest of the night but when it came time for him to say goodnight and head back to his place, he found himself unable to pull away when he hugged you. “You sure you’re good?” You asked, your face pressed into his chest while his head buried into your shoulder.

“Course love,” Jamie said, placing a soft kiss to your shoulder, “Just gonna miss you is all,”

“Jamie,” you laughed, pulling him off you, “You will see me in legit less than twelve hours,” you said smiling as you leaned up to kiss him gently, “I’m not going anywhere,”

“Promise?” He said, his eyes sheepishly looking to the floor.

You laughed as you reached out, taking his pinkie in yours, “Promise,”

For the next two days Jamie was extra cuddly, extra lovey dovey, and extra boyfriendy all round. You weren’t sure what had gotten into him, figuring maybe the one-month mark was a bigger deal to him than you first thought. You ended up getting dragged into one of Rebecca and Keeley’s girl talks and when you told them about it. “Maybe he wants to get serious,” Rebecca said as she snacked on one of Teds biscuits, “He might just be nervous about it all. I wouldn’t worry,”

“Yeah babes,” Keeley said as she gave your arm a squeeze, “Jamie legit adores you he’s probs just nervous cause you’re his first long term girlfriend,”

“You think?” You said, nervously picking at the threads of your jumper.

“Totally,” Keeley said, looking to Rebecca who nodded in agreement, “Maybe he’s just nervous about your one-month anniversary,”

“Is that really a thing?” Rebecca asked, sitting down her biscuits in disbelief at the idea one month was a big deal.

Even you looked to Keeley confused, “Well yeah,” Keeley said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Its sweet when you think about it. You’ve made him all soft,” she teased, poking your sides, and making you laughed. You were finally able to relax, and Keeley had even suggested getting him a gift.

The first gift you came up with that Keeley instantly agreed upon was sex. You really liked Jamie but this whole taking it slow thing was going really really slow. On top of making sure to wear something nice under your clothes on your one-month anniversary of your first date you had also gotten him, well made, a gift.

You didn’t exactly want to spend tons on a one-month gift, especially since Jamie had expensive tastes with his footballer salary, but you’d picked up a cheap football from a sports shop and a sharpie. You covered the ball in notes ranging from inside jokes to cheesy pick-up lines including ‘my favourite footballer’ and writing ‘you scored the best goal on’ then adding the day of your date. You were quite proud of it but just encase you took a box of chocolates as well.

The day had been so busy that you didn’t even get to see Jamie before you were rushed off to deal with a Rebecca crisis. No matter how busy you were you made sure to text Jamie at least once in the morning but when Jamie saw your text, he couldn’t help but smile.

-Happy one month anniversary babe, pick you up after work for a hot date?

Jamie was blissfully unaware of what was to come as he typed out his response before heading to the pitch. Collin had insisted the bet wasn’t over till the end of practice and Issac had let it slide, seeing the regret in his friends’ eyes when he realised, he was going to lose his car. Jamie couldn’t care less about the car though as he thought he was finally free from the bet.

He wanted to run up to your office as soon as practise ended but Issac insisted, he wait with him and Collin in the locker room till everyone else had left. When Danni finally left the room, waving bye to his mates as he left, Collin let out a heavy sigh as he pulled out his keys. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he said, his voice already choked.

“Mate its just a car,” Jamie said, already so fed up and wanting to find you.

“Bruv,” Isaac said, holding a hand to his chest, “a moment of respect,” he said, allowing Collin to whisper a goodbye to his keys as Jamie rolled his eyes, “Okay Collin its time. Jamie won the bet fair and square,” he said as he pried the keys from Collins hands and handing them to Jamie who sighed as he took them.

“I really, really thought she’d have broken up with you by now,” Collin said, shaking his head as he collapsed onto a bench, his head hanging low.

Jamie rolled his eyes at the dramatics of it all as Issac patted his shoulder, “I didn’t think he could go without sex for this long,” Issac added before nodding at Jamie, “Fair play mate but if you do dump her just don’t be a dick about it,”

“And for the love of god do not dent the car,” Collin pipped up as he lifted his head however when he did Jamie noticed all the colour draining from his face, “Eh mate. Bit of a situation,” he muttered, nodding his head towards the door.

Jamie spans around on his heels and his heart dropped to his stomach when he saw you stood there, tears already trickling down your face. Jamies mouth dried up as he searched for the words when the ball and chocolates slipped from your hand and clattered to the floor. “It’s not what- “Jamie tried to say but you were already backing away before turning to run down the corridor. “You fucking idiots,” Jamie yelled at his teammates before taking off down the corridor after you.

You’d think a professional footballer would catch up with you with ease but when Jamie ran into the car park you were already unlocking your car. “Wait,” he yelled, running over, and closing the door with his hand you’d tried to open.

“Why?” You spat, “Do you need me to prove you won?”

“Babe its- “Jamie tried to say, his hands reaching to hold your shoulders.

You slapped them away in an instant, “don’t babe me,” your voice was filled with anger but the tears streaming down your face was what broke Jamies heart, “You fucking used me. For some fucking bet. Is that all this was to you?”

“No of course not,” Jamie said, his hand grabbing his hair as he backed up slightly so at least you weren’t trapped against the car, “it was just some dumb bet but it’s not like I don’t like you. I really fucking like you,”

“Yeah right,” you scoffed turning to get in the car before stopping, “What did you even win?”

Jamie didn’t know if this would make it worse or better, but he knew lying was definitely the wrong choice, “Collins Lambo,” he said, his voice sounding more like a question as he waited to see your reaction.

“You only dated me because of a fucking car?” You yelled, not caring who heard anymore, “You broke my heart because of a car?!”

“I didn’t wanna hurt you-fuck,” Jamie said, his eyes growing wetter with each second as he tried not to throw up from the guilt, “I promise you that I like you. I think I fucking love you and I’ve never felt this way before and- “

You sighed, turning away as you tried to choke back a sob, “Be honest with me Jamie,” you said, refusing to meet his eyes, “If they hadn’t made the bet, would you have ever asked me out?” You waited for his response but when you turned round to see his jaw hanging open, his eyes wide, you knew the answer. “Don’t talk to me. Ever again,” you said as you jumped into your car and quickly sped off.

Jamie had well and truly fucked it. He felt like his body was on fire as he began to slap his own head, muttering a thousand fucks under his breath. Meanwhile you were trying your best not to be blinded by your own tears as you drove home alone to curl up on the couch and wallow.

A few hours passed and you were still on the couch with a massive tub of ice cream and a million texts from Keeley asking for a follow up from your ‘we broke up’ text. You couldn’t even bring yourself to text her back let alone go answer the door when someone rang your doorbell. Then it rang away. “Go away,” you groaned, sinking further into the couch.

Ring. Ring. Ring. The bell echoed through the house till you tore yourself off the couch, ready to go scream at the idiot at your door. But when you pulled it open and saw his big guilty brown eyes staring back at you, you couldn’t say a word. Especially not when you noticed the red puffiness around his eyes and the way they were already watering again.

“Is that my hoodie?” Jamie asked, his voice quiet and broken as he nodded to the oversized hoodie covering your frame. You paused for a moment before nodding silently. Jamie sighed, his eyes growing sadder, if possible, “Can I come in?”

You paused again, not knowing if your vocal cords could even manage the potential screaming match. Jamie shuffled on his feet, his eyes moving to the floor before you finally spoke, “Fine,” you whispered before heading back to sink into the couch.

Jamie followed, shutting the door behind you both and tentatively walking to your living room. His eyes scanned the room and he almost cried when he saw the ice cream, blankets, and crappy reality show on the tv. He’d made you cry. He’d broke your heart. No matter what happened he knew he could never forgive himself for that.

"I know I had no right coming over here," he started as he sat on the opposite end of the couch trying to give you as much space. You were already curled up on the other end, your eyes glued to the now muted tv as you avoided his gaze, "and believe me I know I don't deserve ya. But I couldn't walk away leaving you thinking I didn't like ya because I did and I still do," he said, his voice dripping with desperation as he searched his pockets.

He began to pull out one post it after the next making you look up at the sound of paper ruffling. They were all pretty crumbled up but Jamie picked them up one by one, "I love how smart you are and how you seem to know everything but don't explain things to me like I'm stupid," he began to read off the post it's chucking them on the couch before grabbing the next, "I love how when you laugh you look at the ground to try hide your face,"

"I love how we can lay on the couch together and not say a word

I love when you hold me and scratch my head

I love when you get sleepy during a movie and crash out on my arm

I love hearing your snores even if you pretend you don’t

I love holding your hand in public and getting to show you off to my friends"

Jamie continued as he read off at least 40 more post its which you picked up one by one as he grabbed the next. When he went to grab another your hand reached out to stop his and for a moment you allowed yourself to enjoy his touch, "I know it's not as good as the football," Jamie said softly, "but I mean it all. And I hate myself for hurting you,"

"you should never hate yourself," you muttered making a small smile creep on Jamie's lips, "When did it stop being just a bet?" you asked, scared for the answer.

"During our first date," he said making you look at him with a raised eyebrow, "I swear. I was blind for not seeing you before but on that date, it was--you were incredible. I couldn't stop thinking about you all night. I tried to call of the bet, but Issac thought I was just scared to lose," Jamie rambled before pausing for a moment and sighing," I never wanted to hurt you. I promise. You have to believe me," he said as he reached for your hand.

"It's just hard," you said, your voice already choking up again making Jamie almost cry himself, "and I really want to believe you because for fucksake Jamie, I love you too," the words he had longed to hear shot daggers into his heart.

"If you want to never hear from me again, I’ll go," Jamie said, holding your hands tightly and making you finally meet his eyes again, "but if you'll have me ill spend every day making this up to you. I promise. You, this, us. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me,"

You paused for a moment as Jamie's heart pounded in his chest, "One more chance," you whispered making Jamie break out into a grin, but you quickly added, "but if you so much as step a toe out of line,"

"I won't," Jamie cut you off as he gripped your hands tightly, "I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll be the perfect boyfriend, honest," you couldn't help laughing a little at his eagerness. Jamie raised your hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to each of your knuckles, "

#ted lasso #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso fluff #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tart x reader #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fluff #jamie tart fluff #jamie tartt angst #ted lasso angst

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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𝕽𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖇 • 𝕰. 𝕵𝖆𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖗 : chapter one

synopsis: for as long as he could remember, his life was music and his money, no time for anything else. The only love he had ever known was the studio. That was until one night, he met his greatest muse thus far.

cw: insta model/musician black !fem reader, a very antisocial engineer/musician eren (he’s seen as kind of an asshole but he’s really sweet) no hardcore smut for this portion! just some kissing, fondling and mentions of sex, alcohol and drugs, profanity of course, inappropriate behavior

wc: 6.4K

notes from the author 📝 : So I'm going to be turning one of my first stories I posted on here, Studio, into a full series. I’ve written a million drabbles for this so I’m finally finishing the actual first chapter. Don’t know how many parts it will have but fuck it, we ball.

“Yeah, I don’t care much for any of this..the whole club scene like that. Truth is, I rather be anywhere else but I gotta get my money and something tells me you would too..so, let’s make the best of it and get this bag together.”

next chapter

They say that music is the one thing that makes the world go around..that without it, life would be a mistake.

a lot of people can’t even function if they don’t have their favorite song blaring through the speakers on the way to work..or in their headphones while trying to manage the school day. Others couldn’t imagine a gym session without that one playlist to get them pumped.

and for one man…

“You can’t be serious right now.”

it was his entire life!

“What do you mean, bro? This shit gas!”

the brunette released a heavy winded sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. His glasses were hanging from his face as well. Anyone who knew him was quite familiar with that look and it wasn’t a good one.

another male with glistening chains, gold slugs and a black hoodie stood above him from the circulating chair. To say he had irritated his producer was an understatement but it wasn’t a rare occurrence in the slightest.

“Bro..we’ve been here for five hours..you show up late and then you bring me this? You’re just fucking with me, right?”

Eren Jaeger, or E.J..a name very respected and revered in the music industry. For as long as he could remember, music was his first and only love in his young life..if there was an instrument to be played, he not only sought out to learn it but master it as well.

if there was a song he liked, best believe he was going to end up inevitably out singing the artists themselves.

despite the fact that the career path wasn’t fully backed by his Ivy League, white coat wearing, scholar of a father, he was determined to turn that childhood passion into a very successful and lucrative dream.

working religiously to fine tune his playing skills, along with his voice. He practically resided in the chorus and band classroom; perfecting his craft in all areas..drums, guitar, horns, piano, whatever you could think of.

he became so obsessed in fact that it left little room in his life for extracurricular activities, including a lot of friends or dates.

writing lyrics during class, skipping lunch to go toy around in the library with his laptop create beats..he was a natural born prodigy. Fast forward to college, where he made the very easy choice to study music engineering and mastering…

it was one night while he was working at a shoe store to fund his education that his coworkers decided to record him singing and rapping (all free-styled by the way) while he was doing inventory as a joke. Little did they know, they had just propelled him right into stardom.

coupled with his good looks, sultry lyrics and popularity, everyone wanted their chance to work with him.

there was only one tiny problem..as much as Eren loved creating music, he despised the spotlight even more! How ironic, right? He had no desire whatsoever to be anyone’s next Bieber or Post Malone.

that fame shit was good and dead to him. He truly believed there was no point in making his art to keep up with trends and other artists if your heart wasn’t in it. Not only that, the attention was insufferable.

they were more concerned with if he had a girlfriend, what he looked like or who he was fucking. His talent was on the back burner and it frustrated the hell out of him.

it was the very reason he didn’t respect a lot of today’s musicians. A lot of them weren’t even true or authentic to themselves and fed into that bullshit. That’s why he chose to stay behind the scenes.

it was easier to focus on what he loved rather than the stupidity. Shame it couldn’t allude him entirely because he was left with instances such as today. Grabbing a nearby water bottle, the visibly frustrated brunette unscrewed the cap and chugged the clear liquid down halfway.

at this point, he had heard all that was necessary. It was back to the drawing board because no way he was about to co-sign or engineer this bullshit.

“You’re just not seeing the vision, bro. Trust me on this.”

“I’m seeing something and it’s my patience wearing thin. Twenty four hours…that’s all you have to come back with some heat like I know you got. You’re better than this, man. If you don’t tighten up, you can forget me working on this goddamn album. I’m not even playing with you.”

the rapper knew not to test his luck any further. Friend or not, he wasn’t going to waste anymore of his precious time. Releasing a heavy huff, he’d hop up from his seat and grab his phone.

it didn’t come from a place of malice or hatred but Eren did have the tendency to come off a bit harsh. He didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just how he was and everyone had learned to deal with it.

he was the type of person that accepted nothing less than greatness from his artists so if he deemed it lazy or lackluster, his stamp would not be on it.

besides, he still had three other artists to see today and he didn’t have anymore time to waste on listening to this man let the beat whoop his ass for four tracks straight.

“Same time tomorrow then, man?”

“That depends on you. You bring me a hot pack of ass like this and you’ll be standing outside the door. Now goodbye.”

with that, he’d take his leave, security tailing behind him and a scowl on his face. Left shaking his head, Eren just released a heavy sigh before looking down at his mixing board.

"..does anybody take this business seriously anymore?"

just then, he was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. It was his agent..or rather the one who ran the show. Hesitant and just not in the mood to deal with this, he’d release a deep sigh and say a silent prayer before answering.

“Jesus, you look like shit. When’s the last time you’ve slept?”

and it seemed his prayers weren’t effective enough because he was seconds from snapping. The first words from the snarky woman’s mouth like daggers to his soul.

“Well good afternoon to you too, Mikasa.”

the two of them had been friends for quite some time and even the center of some weird dating rumors but for anyone that knew the duo, it was the furthest thing from.

despite him not making many records in the past few years, Eren still DJ’ed and promoted, as well as performed at some clubs, in addition to engineering and producing..so naturally someone had to arrange these happenings as a middle man.

but, being him, he could never make anything easy and was labeled like that of a diva. Hard to work with and always turning down things that didn’t appease him. Which naturally made her job a whole lot harder..

she was just the only one who refused to tolerate his bullshit!

“Don’t good afternoon me. I’ve been trying to track your ass down for two days and to no avail, of course you’re holed up in that damned studio like a hermit.”

he could hear what she was saying but in all honestly, he didn’t care. More than likely, she wanted him to go and DJ at some stuffy lounge riddled with coked up college kids and aspiring models who eat Xanax for breakfast.

totally not his speed.

nonetheless, he’d lean back in his chair, nonchalantly chewing on the end of a toothpick as he listened to her ramble.

it was obvious that nothing was getting through to that thick numbskull of his.

“And? I’m working. You’d know that if you were a good agent.”

just then, the short haired woman broke into a chuckle, clutching the steering wheel of her S Class Mercedes. And something told him it wasn’t because he said something funny.

“Don’t piss me off more than you already have. Listen, I have a job for you tonight..the new club that just opened up downtown. They need another promoter to help host and I told them you’d be perfect.”

that seemed to have piqued his interest but not because he was excited or anything but because it was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Another?”

unfortunately, he didn’t have much of a choice!

“Yes, the IG model and dancer, (y/n) (l/n) she’s also going to be there tonight. Girl’s a pretty big deal and apparently, she brought out a lot of people.”

he was somewhat familiar with the name but he despised social media as much as he despised hosting. Besides, if he’s seen one, he’s seen them all: shallow, vain, Barbie types with nothing more than a BBL and vibes.

it wasn’t so much the looks that bothered him because they were absolutely beautiful but it seemed as if the whole industry was opportunistic and weird at this point. Everyone looking for a come up and a moment without true work..

“What the hell, Mika? You know I hate that shit. And I have two other recording sessions—

“Not anymore! My job is to get you paid and let’s be honest, the last two artists you produced for weren’t exactly cash cows. How long do you think this whole mysterious antisocial act is going to last? Sad to say, but your time is dwindling, my guy.”

just then, he’d roll his eyes emerald green eyes and just shrug it off but for once, he wasn’t about to pout and whine his way out of this..she was right.

EJ was one of the most popular artists in the world and although he had a pretty loyal fanbase, a lot of them were growing impatient and with new stars being made every three to five business days, people who were true to their craft no longer felt as if they had a place and people no longer reserved patience for artists taking years at a time to put out projects..

and she didn’t want him to be one of them! He belonged here just like everyone else but he had to show up sometimes!

releasing a sigh of her own, Mikasa just shook her head and hoped that he’d listen for once.

“We all have things we don’t want to do but I’m asking for once, stop being so goddamned selfish and only thinking of what Eren wants. There’s a world beyond your own little bubble and a lot of people are dependent on you. We’ll both get a good cut from this so I’m begging you not to screw this up.”

as much as this pained him, he did owe her this much for putting up with his erratic behavior. Besides, he’s put up with far worse in the past!

reaching into the pockets of his black Nike Techs, he’d retrieve two items: a pre-rolled blunt and a black lighter with his initials inscribed on it in gold. If they wanted him to interact with the outside world, he had to calm his nerves first!

“Alright, alright!..I’ll be there, damn..”

getting irritated with her voice and this entire conversation and honestly, the feeling was mutual.

“Let me find out you didn’t show up, I’ll kick down the door to that little hobbit hole of yours and break everything in my sight. Got it?”

and one thing he knew not to do was doubt that she would be capable of such a thing! He’d assure her that he’d be there..

“Loud and clear, drill sergeant.”

“Good boy. I don’t want to have to have this conversation again."

and with that, she’d disconnect the other line.

it was safe to say, he wasn’t thrilled about any of this but maybe stepping outside of his comfort zone would be good..maybe. But only time would tell!

•••••••••

meanwhile, on another side of the city, there was someone else dealing with the exact dilemma as the introverted engineer..

"So when we finish here, the car should be arriving shortly after..we’ll get you over to the club, let you do a walkthrough, get you changed and then you know what to do from there.”

the voice of a wiry and vivacious woman sprouted off the itinerary without so much as a second thought, scrolling through her iPad with the tap of a finger. Wired frame glasses dangling from the bridge of her button nose and her blonde locks styled into that of a high bun.

she was the hardworking assistant and right hand to upcoming model, influencer and dancer, (Y/N) (L/N) or (social media name) to her followers.

over the past couple of years, the esteemed exotic dancer amassed quite the following by posting videos of yourself dancing to several popular songs, even performing live with a ton of artists on stage.

you were the leader of a country wide collective of other dancers known as the Pole Assassins, who performed incredible routines. You gained quite the notoriety and in no time flat, you rose to instant stardom as social media’s newest vixen.

it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing but it was quite the culture shock for the twenty something instructor who was just sharing your art with the world, only to now be thrust into a life of crazy living and insane work.

to having tons of strangers hurl wild opinions and insults in your direction unprovoked. Not to mention the millions of prying eyes on your every move..it was insane!

if you weren’t modeling and being sponsored for the newest fast fashion brand or some newfound tea company hoping to hook buyers on their repackaged laxatives, you were attending parties at some nightclub; hosting and hyping the crowd for whatever performer was headlining.

tonight would be no different..except maybe one thing.

“Yeah, I got it. Thank you, honey. By the way, do you know who this other host is?”

the woman, sitting cross legged whilst various people patted at her face with makeup brushes and sponges. You looked flawless already but they had to ensure that every part you was nothing less than perfection.

normally, you worked solo to make these events as lively as possible but the person you were set to work with was apparently a pretty big deal. A huge name in the music world was making a rare appearance tonight at this new grand opening.

“You haven’t heard? It’s Eren Jaeger, EJ, the singer..well he’s more of a producer now. He’s actually gonna be DJ’ing and performing tonight!”

that’s when your eyes nearly popped from yourhead. Now that was a name you hadn’t heard in a long time but it wasn’t due to him being washed up or outdated, he was just such an enigma in the music world now.

akin to something like a Frank Ocean or SZA..keeping fans sitting on the edge of their seats, wondering when he’d drop his next project.

his voice was beautiful, nearly enchanting and you had even used a couple of his pieces in some of your videos, dancing along to the slow, seductive sounds of the melodies. On the same hand, he made some of the hardest rap tracks you’d ever heard. And yet, for someone who made such music and as attractive as he was, he preferred to stay out of the limelight.

it seemed almost counterproductive but you also understood.

in the not so distant past, you saw horror stories of grown women grabbing at his privates on stage when he was only eighteen, girls sending him inappropriate pictures and just being weird.

watch one interview and even a blind man could tell it made him uncomfortable. The whole sex symbol allure wasn’t his thing.

in some ways, you resonated with him. You knew all too well what it felt like having your true craft pushed to the wayside all so people could create their own narratives. Rather than being recognized for the years of hard work and dedication it took to master the art of pole..you were now seen as nothing more than a cookie cutter Insta model with a pretty face and no substance.

some days, you felt like tossing that damn phone in the ocean and never looking back!

regardless, even though you didn’t know him personally, it was an honor to be in the presence of a musical great.

“I’m shocked they could even afford to bring someone like him out. That’s a huge name.”

“Yeah, well you’d be surprised. I seriously doubt it was something he was thrilled to do but we’ll see.”

(Y/N) mirrored his sentiment honestly but work was work and they had to do whatever necessary to pay the bills. As for you, you’d down a couple shots of liquid courage, throw on a tight body con dress, highest heels and work the crowd as per usual.

you just hoped that your co-host wasn’t a jerk as the rumors claimed.

later that evening…

night had fallen cast over the city's skyline and the party was merely at its inception. Guests were lining up near the entrance, lined up and ready to get inside to rub elbows with their favorite celebrities. All dressed up and at their best.

however, they weren’t the only ones..

a blacked out Audi R8 had just circled around the side entrance and killed its engine. The matte lights went dim and suddenly the passenger side door opened. Bystanders whispered in speculation as to who was inside but their minds would not be left to wander much longer.

followed by sounds ‘oohs’ and ‘oh my gosh’s’, out stepped a man in clothing resembling that of his car; all black with the exception of some silver chains, rings and studs in his ears. Combat type boots and cargos with a cut off black shirt showing off his numerous tattoos, along with a vest type harness. (inspo)

but it was the signature brown hair styled into a half up-half down bun that gave away his identity and it took no time for the fans to react. Screaming women of every variety began trying to surpass the barricade to get to him but were held back by bouncers and he was shielded by his security, who were eager to handle anyone approaching him, as he gave a swift wave.

underneath his black mask, Eren would muster up a faint smile and try to be as social as possible..all while praying that he’d get through this night quickly. His emerald green eyes were already glazed over from the blunt he had finished before leaving home and trust that it was much needed.

he was more than ready for this to be over with so he’d make his way through the side door and into the lounge where he was greeted by his agent and the energetic owner.

“There he isss, the man of the hour. It’s really an honor, EJ. Thank you again for this! You have no idea how much it means..”

the high pitched voice and effervescent personality belonged to Zoe Hange, a very affluent and well known promoter who owned many successful clubs and lounges all over the country. To have such big stars on opening night was a testament to their work.

gratefulness aside, he wanted to go home but before he’d end up saying something stupid, Mikasa would interject and cover for him.

“Likewise. We’re very happy that you reached out. We’re looking forward to it, aren’t we?” Shooting the musician a stern glare to assure he answered correctly. “For sure.” responding flatly. However, what would follow later would shift his mood entirely.

the vibrant owner, sporting their red and black pantsuit would exclaim, clasping their hands together. “Ahh, wonderful! As you can see, our stage is just to your left and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what to do. Just make magic up there, my dear. As for your co-host, she should be arriving shortly and we can get this thing started!”

his patience and social battery was already wearing thin so he hoped for this host’s sake that she didn’t disappoint either. That's when the momentary silence was interrupted by the sound of clacking heels.

"Hi, everyone. Hope I'm not late.." the soft voice spoke out, causing everyone in the room to shift their heads towards the right side. In came a woman wearing a short white dress, cut off just above the knees, tall clear heels and thirty inches of jet black hair flowing to her thin waist. Beautiful dark skin and nearly flawless makeup…the type of girl that turned heads when she walked in.

to say she was stunning was an understatement...and Eren could hardly keep his eyes off of her; definitely a first for the less than friendly performer. It took a lot to get his attention. "Not at all, actually you're just on time. Please join us."

Zoe would declare, waving a hand to bring the woman over. "This is (y/n) (l/n) or as some of you may know her, (social media handle). She’ll be working with us tonight as well. I’m sure between the both of you, it’ll be one hell of a show. Just give my new baby a proper welcoming party.”

“She is also my newest client and I’m very excited to have her on board. Thank you again for doing this on such short notice..” Mikasa chimed in as she swooped in to wrap you up for a tight hug. “I wish all my talent were as cooperative and flexible as you..” shooting the ever so silent singer a glare, to which he’d scoff.

but when you looked in his direction, his eyes shifted a bit and his cheeks raised from underneath that face covering before he turned his head. Inside, you were fangirling and freaking out. But you knew how reserved he was, not to mention his already annoyed expression..so you didn’t want to come off as a clout chasing groupie.

one thing you had noticed was how much more toned and muscular he had gotten since his hiatus. This man was swole to say the least!

as much as it pained him, he was still a professional about the whole thing. He realized there was no point in taking out his frustrations on the girl just trying to do her job as well. That and the fact he was taken aback by how stunning you were. He may have been a recluse but he was still a man nonetheless.

“..I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan. So it’s really an honor. The Living Dead Boy mixtape is one of my all time favorites.” Truth be told, he didn’t know how to take your compliment because he wasn’t expecting that. Not for such a pretty girl such as yourself to even know his music. And considering that was one of his more underground projects..that was impressive! Now here he was blushing like a damn fool.

“I—uh..thank you. Well I guess I should go get set up. See you in a little bit. " bidding you all adieu before walking off towards the backstage area. You would've liked to think that you greeted him kindly but it seemed that he was no more impressed by you than he was anyone else.

"Don't worry too much about him. He just takes some getting used to, that's all. Deep down, he's really a sweetheart..when he wants to be that is.." Mikasa would reassure, flashing you a warming smile. Maybe so but you had no time to worry about personal feelings or ego, as the club doors were set to open any minute.

you’d make your way to the backstage as well, making any last minute touch ups to your makeup. You had about ten minutes before you’d be summoned so in that time, while you were getting your face patted, (y/n) thought silently to yourself about how things would go. What if this man really didn’t like you and things went south? The last thing you wanted was the gig to be unsuccessful. Suddenly, a stage tech would come and whisper for you, signaling that your cue was in about ten minutes or so. Sounds of music coming from the front, signaling that the club was officially opened for business.

things would undeniably be different as you’d have to command the crowd for the entire night and keep them entertained. Most of the time, you were more so of a side attraction to whoever was performing so it was time to break out of your own shell and really come into your own tonight.

now..it was time to go to work!

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two hours later..

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“Everybody having a good time tonight?!”

the voice echoing throughout the nightclub, courtesy of a microphone held by the one and only (y/n) (l/n) aka (social media name). Met back with loud cheering and applause. So far, everything was going exactly as planned. All the patrons having a good time, lots of energy, wonderful music and just an all around good vibe.

which was wonderful news for the owner, Ms. Hange, who was thrilled to see that another one of her clubs launched off with such success. She had obviously made the right call hiring the best talent agent in the country. As for you, you were thrilled that you were able to make this party as live as possible. But little did they know that it was only starting..

“Club Lapis, y’all been so good to me tonight. Showing me so much love and popping out. I see a couple of familiar faces from Instagram..hey girl!” which was true because once you posted the club flyer to your Instagram, a decent chuck of your almost one million followers tapped in that were in the area. There were a few gorgeous women that you followed as well who decided to show up off of your namesake alone. Obviously, holding more weight than you expected but influencers were the new idols, some would say. You had been snapping pictures, taking videos and singing along and dancing with a lot of people. They were amped and now, it was time to give them the real main event.

“So, because y’all been so good to me…I got a lil’ something I wanna do for y’all. A surprise for everybody..” some were already privy to what, or who rather was waiting but for those who didn’t, you’d give one hell of an introduction! “I was talking with this person backstage and they said they were a little nervous to be here tonight..and I’m thinking to myself, ‘the only one nervous is me. I’m in the presence of greatness..and a good looking ass man’.” Everybody cracking up at your little jokes because you were always naturally funny without trying, which was also part of your allure; something a lot of these insta models didn’t have. “Baby in the front here losing her mind, trust me, girl..I understand now.” One of which who was spotted earlier yelling for him as he walked in.

it was true..you had the honor of actually having a conversation with him prior to this and Ms. Ackerman was right..he was incredibly sweet once you got the chance to talk to him. That and the fact he was higher than giraffe pussy so he wasn’t as irritated and nervous as before! Regardless, he was so kind and even thanked you for hosting with him. Despite his personal feelings about these sort of things, he was a professional and knew he had to do a good job for not only his sake but yours as well. Besides, he really did thrive when performing. So you’d do the best job possible, hyping him to the crowd..

“Not that he needs an introduction..’cause he been popping his shit longer than I’ve been around. And for all my followers, y’all already know how I feel about this man and his music. We’ve been lucky enough to get him to come out for us tonight so y’all better make some fucking noise and show all the love for The Prince of Trap and B himself..the Underground’s Greatest…”

as you were in the middle of doting and giving your speech, the people would start going crazy. Girls in full blown tears, people screaming and jumping around..that’s when you’d look back to see the legend Eren Jaeger himself walking up behind you, brandishing a microphone and a smile on his face. He’s as charming and handsome as ever. “Well damn..don’t I feel special?” That ever so smooth voice ending shivers up your spine.

and it doesn’t help when he places his hand around your waist and look down at you. He really is every bit of the flirt his persona portrays..

“Miss (y/n), you keep talking about me like that and imma start blushing and shit..”

muttering into his mic as he cradled his palm around your waist. He better had stopped before he caused a problem he wasn’t ready for! The scent of his cologne wafting through your nostrils, his warmth against your body..you had met a million rappers, chopped it up with the industry’s biggest but something about this man felt so familiar and..comforting. Like the two of you could be friends. He didn’t treat you like a stranger or act all irritable like before. So you’d use it to play up the moment.

“I mean, I gotta let the people know..brag on you for a minute, boo.”

“Well, I ain’t mad about it, baby. But I guess I should give everybody what they came here for, right?”

his rhetorical question being met with a loud response from everywhere.

now, anyone who didn’t know any better would’ve sworn that you guys had not only known each other for years but had a little something on the low. That wasn’t the case, even in the slightest. Honestly, with you, it felt natural and you just worked well together.

Outside of the little exchange backstage of how things would go and the two of you properly introducing yourselves, there wasn’t much else to indicate that he was cool with you but such was life and industry politics. People played pretend all the time for a check..something you learned fairly on.

however, something he said to you did stick as he noticed you fidgeting with one of your brushes, a sure sign of your anxiety about being a lead host tonight.

you were appreciative of his kind words and assurance that you weren’t alone in this. It was going to be fine as long as the two of you had fun. He even offered you a hit of his blunt to calm your nerves.

but either way, now, it was his turn to take over!

“Then I’ll just step over here to the side and let you handle your business—“ but as you were walking off the stage, he’d flash you a smile and wink. “Y’all give it up for the ever so lovely…and beautiful (y/n). She really has done a great job tonight.” Sending your heart fluttering and butterflies all throughout your stomach. Why was this man playing so much?! Nonetheless, you were flattered all the same and you’d blow a kiss to him; watching your hips sway as you walked off the stage.

the energy and chemistry between you two was insane and the crowd absolutely loved it! Because y’all were enjoying yourselves, so was everyone else and that’s what mattered!

considering you were just as big of a fan as everyone else, you were excited to watch him perform. Taking a glance back at his DJ, they’d have a little exchange and he’d really start to blossom; like the stage was where he came to life and nothing else mattered except the music. “Play that shit.” As soon as he gave the signal and that track dropped, the whole place went crazy! It was one of his most popular songs, 1st Degree, and most energetic. It was a trap song and you had heard it played everywhere when it first came out. In a matter of minutes, he’s hopping around in stage and going off. The crowd singing it louder than he was at some point.

pointing the mic out to them, they’d scream his lyrics back at him in intervals and he’d just laugh because seeing a bunch of bad bitches yell about gun violence and drugs was so funny. Including (y/n)..he couldn’t believe everyone still fucked with him this heavily. By the time, he finished, Eren would be met with loud screams and chants. Laughing, he’d cup his microphone and move across the stage, engaging with everyone.

“DJ, did you hear that? They were going harder than me!..what the fuck?”

to say he was impressed, was an understatement. He had never imagined that after all these years, he still had this kind of impact. Some people would try and downplay or talk shit about the fact that he was in a venue like this but for someone who was over the pressures of performing, this felt much more intimate.

he’d rather have a hundred loyal fans than thousands of people pretending to know his lyrics and stand there with their phones out. Right now, he was really feeling himself and although you had just met, as a long time fan, you were happy for him. Happy that he was so well received by the audience and not being made uncomfortable. This really was his element.

the show would go on and he’d do a few more songs, this time some of the ones where he was singing, which you personally preferred. This man’s voice was something serious…many of times had you constructed pole routine to his sensual lyrics. However, that’s when he done something a tad bit unexpected.. “Alright, so for this last song..we’re about to get a little sexy. On that demon time, as they say..”

everyone immediately laughing and knowing exactly what track he was referring to…the one that had women going crazy for months and men using it to spit game. It was the first time he had ever made a love song and needless to say, the internet went stupid. It was so freaky that the blog sites were talking shit. That’s when he knew he had a hit on his hands..

suddenly, the lights would dim and the entire vibe would change.

“Club Lapis, I’m in such a good mood tonight. I ain’t gone lie to y’all, I was a little nervous to come here, but I feel the love…so I’m gonna do a little something special. I feel like serenading somebody’s daughter.”

the entire place erupted in screams and women pointing to be chosen. “A couple of you are here with your man, I don’t want no problems tonight.” But Eren had already clearly had his mind on one person in particular..and it was no question. Flashing a big toothy smile, he’d direct his attention over towards the right before singling his sights on the far corner.

“Miss (y/n)..if you’d do me the honor of bringing your fine ass back up to the stage, please..”

‘oohs’ and ‘aah’s’ sparking immediately after. Your cheeks began to burn something fierce…Eren fucking Jaeger was up on stage, flirting with you! This did not feel real whatsoever. Regardless, you made your way back up there. You’d look over to see people breaking their thumbs, sending out a plethora of tweets.

climbing the steps, he’d assist you with an extended hand. Right there underneath the beaming spotlights, the two of you would lightly clutch fingers as he stood there, smiling. Seeing him up close was like a dream. The fantasy of many fangirls who’d fawned over him since his debut and here you were getting the first hand experience. Those piercing green eyes glaring right into your own and sending your heart racing.

finally, the instrumental would begin to play and Eren began to belt out the tune. As per, he sounded amazing; those lyrics making things just that much better..talking about fucking until the bed broke, making movies and making her wet. Whoever the inspiration was behind that song was one lucky ass bitch! Pining over to the crowd, he’d let the lovely bunch of ladies huddled at the front of the stage mimic the song back to him before taking over the next verse and just for the occasion, he had slightly altered the words.

“Know I said that I can’t stay with you, no I can’t make you my wife but (y/n), if you let me in it, I swear I’ll change your life.”

crooning before running his finger underneath your chin.

sending the crowd into a frenzy. Mainly because everyone could see how fast you were folding on that stage, after having been so poised and professional all night! One thing stood true; he may not have been that way in real life, but EJ the stage persona was a whole slut and a half! No wonder the podcaster bitch boys talked so much about him. He had their dream girls about to faint.

once the song reached its conclusion, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. But he knew he better had booked it to the back before somebody’s hormonal girlfriend rushed the stage.

“Thank you Club Lapis, goodnight!”

leaving to a loud chant of his name, thunderous claps and cheers. Ending on a high note if he had to say so himself. Right now, he was on a cloud that he didn’t want to come down from and he had the perfect way to remain there.

meanwhile, (y/n) would address the audience once more, thanking them for such a wonderful evening, being so nice to both of them, to be safe and enjoy the rest of their night here. Once that was done and the DJ proceeded to resume his regular track list, you were since again stopped by fans and patrons alike, asking for pictures and saying how jealous they were that you were being sang to like that.

trust, it wasn’t something that you were expecting either but you played your role well. Now it was time to relax with a few drinks.

Ms. Hange had took the liberty of reserving VIP for the two of you once the show ended to unwind with complimentary and unlimited bottle service. You weren’t a heavy drinker by any means but why not take advantage?

honestly, once the adrenaline of the moment wore off, you grew fatigued. All of the stimulation of the loud noises and screaming people was a bit much. However, you had to fulfill your obligations.

ten minutes or so passed and it seemed that you’d be unwinding on your own..that was until you heard a familiar voice. “So this is where my beautiful co-host ran off to..”

it was the star himself and he seemed to be sporting a new outfit.. still all black with those silver chains dangling around his neck. He looked good, which was no surprise. As he kneeled to sit down, he’d scoop you in a tight hug in one fell swoop. At this point, there was no question of what his feelings were towards you. He could’ve easily dipped and had his security get him up out of here but he stayed.

“God, you sounded amazing up there! I never thought I’d get to hear the great EJ The Don in person.” Blushing at the mention of just one of his many stage names, that one being more so his producer tag. Truthfully, he just went up there and done what he enjoyed the most..sharing his music with the world.

as he took a seat next to you, he’d pour up a glass of vodka, matching your own. Casually shrugging his shoulders, he’d swirl it around a bit before knocking back a sip. “Just doing my job, that’s all. I gotta say, you did your thing too. Told you, you’d be fine.” Being reaffirmed by someone so iconic was the highest of compliments.

“I’d say you did more than that. I ain’t mad though.” Smirking in his direction before drinking from your own glass and giving him a side eye. It seemed that he was comfortable enough for you two make jokes and honestly, he had never felt that way about anyone, less known someone he had only met. Maybe it was the courage of being crossfaded but Eren truly felt at ease around you for some reason.

and you mirrored that sentiment. It wasn’t uncommon for these gigs to go left when some artist decided to get too handsy or be disrespectful of your boundaries but that wasn’t the case here. He was so sweet and down to earth.

“Aye, you said let’s entertain them so that’s what I did. Besides, you standing up there, looking all cute and shit..I couldn’t help it.” Before long, the pair was laughing and giggling, chopping it up as if no one else was around. The flirtatious tension was getting out of hand!

“You mind if I scoot a little closer, miss (y/n)? I don’t want to get in your personal space.”

“Go right ahead.” eventually letting him drape his arm around the back of the couch and move a couple inches towards you. Being all cozied up to a superstar like him was surreal and people would most certainly have their fair share of opinions and commentary, you were certain.

nonetheless, the evening continued on as normal. The two of you talking as if you’ve known each other for a long time. Rather than bore you with stories of how he got his start that could be found with a simple YouTube search of his interviews, he wanted to hear your background. He only knew of you through social media circulation but he figured there had to be more to the illustrious (social media name).

“So I gotta ask..how in the hell did you manage to get tangled up with mad woman Mikasa and let her talk to you into this?”

when you began to gain a little more notoriety, it was only natural to get an agent to help capitalize on this newfound fame and get the real money coming in. She didn’t have her reputation for nothing..Ms. Ackerman worked harder than the devil himself and she didn’t hesitate to take care of you so when she decided to team you two you up, little did they know just how much of a genius she was.

so that’s when you told him about your journey through learning pole, going on tour with a bunch of different artists and serving as a backup dancer. It was a lot of fun but outside of work, you never made it your business to be chummy with your cohorts. You done the job you are paid for and then went on about your business. It was lonely but for the best, considering how weird some folks moved.

and Eren felt the same. He didn’t have many friends in this industry. Hell, it was almost ironic because the fans adored him but a lot of fellow artists didn’t really have much to say about him as a person. Sure, they respected his craft but he didn’t make it his mission to get close to anyone..until now.

you definitely had his interest piqued, to say the least! Having a conversation with (y/n) was somewhat refreshing. You weren’t another groupie trying to play in his face or look for a come up. You didn’t treat him like you were trying to kiss his ass or anyone else’s..it was just a normal vibe and one he hadn’t shared with someone in a long time..so much so, that you had this man laughing and smiling like a fool. Maybe this whole gig wasn’t a bad idea!

“Wait a minute, you’re friends with Jean Kirschtein? I danced at one of his shows in Chicago last year.”

“Friends is a strong word, I prefer pain in the ass. No offense, but dude gets on my fucking nerves.”

the bold statement sending you doubling over in laughter. Not because you didn’t like the rock singer, he was actually very nice but the fact that he was just spilling all types of tea to you as if you guys were best friends! That’s when he explained that they were signed to the same label for a while and that he was actually engaged to his best friend and manager, Mikasa. Literally the only reason he tolerated him.

“Well damn. Can’t say I blame you..some people in this business will turn you against it real fast. Of course, I’m sure you’re the last person I have to tell that, but then there’s others who are…really sweet.”

swirling your fingertip around the perimeter of your glass as you shot him a glare, as well as a warm smile. One that made his cheeks immediately glow red, even under the fluorescent lighting. It was adorable..

scooting a bit closer, he’d glare down at your smaller frame and curl his tongue across his top row of teeth. This man was dangerously handsome that it made no sense whatsoever! “I agree..it’s not so bad all the time.” For a moment, you two were locked in an intense gaze; one that wasn’t typical of complete strangers but here you were!

suddenly, the eye contact was broken when he’d turn his head to the side and whisper something to you. “I think they’re staring at us..” referring to the group of girls pointing with their cellphones out, jumping up and down as if they were a couple of TMZ reporters getting the latest scoop.

this was the sole reason he despised being out in public, because this is what it always resulted in. Cue the hundreds of messages from nosy ass bloggers and messy people trying to get in his business but tonight? He was in a bit of a mood to match their energy and hopefully shoot his shot! Luckily, you were on the same type time he was..

“I think they are..wonder what they’re up to?..” questioning rhetorically with the coyest smirk on your face. It was insane how equally yoked you both were in just this short amount of time. But he had an idea that would really have them going crazy.

“You thinking what I’m thinking, miss (y/n)?” and it went without saying that you most certainly were. This liquor and weed had the two of you playing a very dangerous game but what was the worst that could happen? Hell, blow up the internet for all of twenty four hours before they fixated on something else? He needed a little excitement in his life..had been a while since he caused some controversy!

giving him a nod, you’d shift in your seat to stare right at one another. The chemistry was undeniable and as someone who was in a position that half the bitches here would murder for..you didn’t turn down the opportunity! Leaning over, Eren nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck; his breath causing the minuscule hairs to rise on your skin.

his right hand resting gently on your thigh but not moving too far up to where you’d be uncomfortable and proceeded to pretend he was kissing you. “Just play along..let’s give their asses something to talk about.”

breaking into a toothy smile, (y/n) shook your head and bit your lip at the feeling of this man’s hands on you for the second time tonight. “Mr. Jaeger, you are something else, you know that?” But like clockwork, flashes would begin to flicker from every iPhone in the vicinity. Even hearing a few people muttering..you most certainly had never experienced anything like this before!

“I’ve heard worse said about me..”

the last thing you needed was for everyone to spin the rumor mill that you were fucking rappers now but honestly, you wouldn’t know how to act if he really did kiss you, less known done anything else. But somehow, you didn’t care..you were really enjoying yourself. And honestly, didn’t want this night to come to an end. So your ever so charming cohort would make another suggestion..

“Y’know, I’m a little over all this and if I’m not mistaken, we’ve fulfilled our obligation for the night. So if you don’t have any plans, how ‘bout we go chill somewhere else? That’s if..I’m not being too forward or nothing..”

offering as he stood to his feet, stretching out his muscles before extending his hand yet again.

normally, you’d decline with the quickness and say you were tired but something told you, you’d be missing out on a good time if you did. And that he’d be super disappointed as well. So, you done exactly what you felt was right…

“Not at all..”

accepting his grasp, he’d help you to stand and keep your footing; continuing the theme of being an absolute gentleman. Time to keep the party going in a much more private manner.

“You just lead the way..”

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if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! please check out some of my other stuff in the masterlist. Likes are appreciated but reblogs would mean the world and help me out a TON! Also, considering leaving a little something in the tip jar if you’re feeling extra generous! 🫶🏾

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tag list: @vixxennxx @bisexualfenty @whorrorifics @potofstewie @daisynik7 @hoohoohope @chickenwingsandfries3425

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cuttergauthier · 9 months

Text

Summer Time

Rutger Mcgroarty x Female Reader

Warning: against, Toxic ex, Controlling ex, stalker ex, cussing, fluff

word count: 2.4k

This fic is apart of the insta edit The Summer Everything Changed

let me know what you guys think🤍

Molly invited me to spend the summer with her and her family at a lake house that they go to for a few weeks every year, we been best friends since we were kids, her family is like my own so every year they invite me, the only person in her family I don’t get along with is her brother Rutger.

Rutger and I have never been friends, he’s always rude to me when he’s nice to everyone else. Molly warned me that this year Rutger might be even more rude since he’s apparently been in a mood since he broke up with his girlfriend.

I’ve met Sierra before, her and Rutger dated for about 5 years, and just like Rutger she hated me, even when I was always nice to her.

I hope this year will be different since Molly is bringing her boyfriend again, I was supposed to bring mine again this year but we broke up about a month ago, it didn’t exactly end well so now Rutger and I will be the only single ones, at first I almost told Molly I wasn’t going to go since I don’t want to third wheel her and her boyfriend, or be alone with Rutger but she convinced me to say yes.

The lake house is only an hour away from our hometown so I told Molly that this year I would take my car and drive there, if anything happens i can leave whenever I want.

I put my suitcase in my car, and started the drive there. Molly and her family have been there since yesterday. It’s 2:00 p.m. right now so i should be there by 3:00 p.m.

I parked behind Molly’s car in the driveway, I unbuckled my seatbelt and made my way to the trunk to get my suitcase.

I got my stuff and made my way to the door, and walked in.

The door leads to the living room where I saw Rutger. He turned to look at me and rolled his eyes.

“What you can’t knock now?” He asked, annoyed. I rolled my eyes at him.

“When have I ever knocked?” I asked. Her family always told me to make myself at home, and said that I could drop by whenever her mom even gave me a house key at their home because I always came over.

“Well maybe you should start,” he said before getting up and walking away.

I made my way upstairs to my usual room. I ran into MOM.

“Hey sweetheart, I'm so happy you’re here” she said, giving me a hug.

“Thanks for inviting me,” I said smiling.

“You’re like a daughter to me, you will always be invited” she said.

We talked for a few more seconds before I went to my room.

I started unpacking when Molly burst through the door and ran to hug me. I started laughing.

“I missed you” she said

“Molly, we saw each other yesterday before you left,” I said chuckling. She pulled away and smiled

“I know, it’s been 1 day too long” she said.

Molly and I are usually always with each other or at least talk once a day. We both decided to go to University of Michigan, we always stick together.

“I missed you to molly” i said smiling

“Good, now let me help you finish unpacking”

“Thanks”

It only took us about 30 minutes to finish unpacking so Molly sat down on my bed and looked at me smirking. Oh no what did she do?

“What’s that look for?” I asked

“Well you see, I'm sorry” she said nervously.

I looked at her confused.

“Sorry for what? What did you do?” I asked

“Well you see, you were only supposed to be here tomorrow, so my parents and I kinda planned a double date night… so you’re going to be stuck here with Rutger” she said.

I rubbed my eyebrows and sighed.

“It’s fine Molly, I'll just stay in my room if I have to,” I said, smiling softly.

This is not how I expected my first night here to go, but I get it so it’s fine.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yes, I promise” i said

“Okay good, I feel bad” she said

“Don’t be, it’s my fault I decided to join a day earlier”

“We have a few activities for date night so we’ll be back pretty late, we’re leaving in an hour and maybe this will give you and Rutger time to finally get along” she said and I laughed.

“Molly, Rutger and I have hated each other since we were kids. I don't think a few hours will change that.

“You never know, people change” she said with a wink, what the hell is she planning? I know my best friend, she’s definitely up to something.

She gave me one last hug and we made our way to Molly’s room so I could help her get ready.

“Can you pick out my outfit, please?” She asked while she does her makeup.

I nodded and made my way to her closet.

“What about this?” I asked, showing her a cute white v neck dress with purple flowers.

“Oh I love that, thank you” she said happily. I chuckled

“You’re welcome.”

Once she was done with her hair and makeup she went and got dressed.

When she came out of the bathroom I looked up from my phone and smiled.

“You look beautiful,” I said.

“Thank you, now are you sure you’ll be fine here?” She asked.

“Yes, now it's almost 5:00 p.m.” I said.

We made our way downstairs where Josh, her boyfriend and her parents were waiting.

“Hey Yn” Josh greeted me smiling.

“Hey Josh, have fun you guys” I said before they all left.

I have no idea where Rutger is, so I made my way to the kitchen to get something to eat.

I went to the fridge and took some grapes and put some in a bowl before making my way to the living room.

I put on Outer Banks on Netflix and sat down on the couch.

About 10 minutes later Rutger came in and sat on the other end of the couch. Neither of us said anything.

A while later my phone started ringing. Rutger scoffed and looked at me annoyed.

I checked to see who was calling me, only to see that it was my ex boyfriend, I rolled my eyes and silenced the call. I put my phone next to me and continued to watch the show.

A few seconds later my rang again, I silenced it again, then he called again.

“Oh my god, just answer the damn phone,” Rutger said, annoyed.

“No” I answered and silenced it.

When he called again, it pissed Rutger off, he gave me a look that said you better answer or I’m throwing your phone outside.

I answered and put the phone to my ear.

“What do you want?” I asked, pissed. Why the hell can’t he just leave me alone, I broke up with him a month ago because he was so controlling.

“I’m at the lake house, we have to talk so let me in” he said pissed. My eyes widened. No this can’t be happening, what the hell does he think he’s doing.

“No chance in hell” I said angrily. Rutger raised his eyebrows at me, as to see what the hell are you talking about.

“You either let me in, or i get in on my own, your choice, I know Molly’s on a double date with her parents right now so I know you’re alone since Rutger would never stay alone with you”

“What are you, a fucking stalker?” I said worriedly, I’m not alone, Rutger wouldn’t let anything happen to me right? Even if he doesn’t like me?

I stood up and started walking, pacing back and forth.

“Yn, open the goddamn door,” he said.

My eyes widened and I stood still and looked at Rutger. He could tell something was wrong so he got up and snatched the phone out of my hands.

“What are you doing?” I asked worriedly, I don’t want Rutger to Provoke him and make him worse.

“Shush” he said pointing his finger at me to tell me to shut up. I closed my month and scoffed.

What are you doing Rutger.

“What” he said on the phone before he continued. “No she’s busy right now, and I suggest you don’t call her again and you better fucking leave” he said pissed before he hung up.

“What the hell did he say?” I asked when he gave me my phone.

“Don’t worry about it” he said, making his way to the door and looking outside. I scoffed and locked the front door.

“Is he still out there?” I asked worriedly.

“Yes,” he said before looking at me.

“Go to the kitchen and make sure the patio door is locked.” He told me. I nodded and rushed to the Kitchen.

I looked to see it was already locked. Thank god.

I made my way back to the living room to see Rutger still looking out the window.

“It was already locked,” I told him.

He looked back at me and nodded. I went and sat down on the couch again and paused the show that was still playing on the tv.

Rutger sighed and cane to sit down next to me.

“Was he always like this? Because I don’t remember him being like this last year” Rutger asked me. I shook my head and took a deep breath.

“No, it started a few months before our semester ended. Last month I had enough so I finally broke up with him.” I said looking at him.

I looked at his eyes, you could see sadness and anger in them, is he sad and angry about my ex's acting? or at me for letting this happen?

“I’d tell you to get a restraining order against him, but I don't know how well that will end up if he’s that bad,” rutger said, which made me chuckle.

“Yeah, I don’t know if it’ll work” i replied

“It would still be better than nothing, especially since he also goes to Michigan” Rutger said, i groaned.

“Fuck, I should have said no boyfriend in college” I said and Rutger laughed.

I looked at him and smiled.

“Thanks by the way, for making him leave, i honestly didn’t think you would”

Rutgers' eyes widened.

“Why would you think I wouldn’t help?” He asked, confused.

“Maybe because you don’t like me,” I scoffed.

“I never said I didn’t like you, and even if i didn’t it doesn’t mean I won’t help, I could tell you were scared Yn, i wasn’t going to let that go” he said

“First off you’re always rude to me, you’ve never been nice, it’s pretty clear you don’t like me”

“Well I always liked you and I thought you were pretty even as kids but you’re Molly’s best friend so I thought it would be easier to just be mean” he said, my eyes widened. He liked me?

“What?” I was shocked.

“Why do you think Sierra hated you, it’s because she could tell, I liked you” he said chuckling.

I can’t believe this, first off there’s no way she would have stayed with Rutger for 5 years if she knew he liked me right?

“I’m pretty sure even Molly could tell, I know my parents did, Luca and Adam would tease me about it back at university” He continued.

“Oh my god, was this Molly’s plan all along?”

“What plan?” He asked, confused.

“Did they already have a date night planned? Because when Molly told me about it and said that I would be alone with you, it was suspicious, I could tell she was hiding something, plus she was smirking and she even winked, she never winks” i said. Rutger laughed

“What’s so funny?” I asked confused

“Knowing Molly probably, and i honestly don’t know how long this date night with my parents was planned I only found out about it this morning” he said

“I knew she was up to something, I just didn’t think it would be you confessing that you have a crush on me” I said chuckling.

“I think it’s more than a little crush.” He said

I raise my brows.

“Look, I really, really like you, is there any chance we could start over and I could take you out on a date?” He asked with a smile.

“Only if you promise never to be rude to me ever again” I replied smiling.

Rutgers smile grew.

“I promise”

“Good, then I would love to” I replied

“It’s only 7:15 p.m. right now, any chance I could take you out for ice cream, we could go for a walk on the beach and talk? Could that count as a first date?” He asked and I chuckled.

“I could go for ice cream and for a walk”

“Perfect, let’s go,” he said, smiling. He grabbed his car keys and we made our way to his car.

Rutger drove to a spot close to the beach where they have an ice cream booth. Rutger ordered for the both of us, once he got mine he gave it to me, making me smile.

“You know my favorite ice cream?” I asked

“See I never hated you” he said, making me giggle.

We walked down to the beach, and walked by the water.

We talked about our lives, it was actually really nice getting to know the real Rutger and not the rude one.

I had fun.

When he pulled in the driveway of the lake house. His parents' car was back, which means Molly will have a lot of questions.

“Any chance we can do this again?” He asked.

“I’d like that,” I said, smiling.

“I can’t wait… can I kiss you?”

“Yes” I replied.

Rutger leaned against the consol put his hand on my cheek before our lips met. Our lips moved in sync, before we pulled away breathing heavily.

“Wow” he said smiling, I started giggling.

“We should probably go inside before Molly comes looking for us” I said.

“Good idea”

When we walked in everyone was in the living room. Molly looked at us and smirked before looking at her dad.

“Dad pay up, I told you he’d finally tell her” she said, making everyone laugh.

This summer is finally off to a good start.

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gay-slime · 4 months

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Goodbye post :]

Hello & also - goodbye!

This is a formal post to mark this account as an archive - aka I’m just gonna be logging out & not deleting it for sentimentality reasons (also technically my main and other sides, granted they’re all tied together)

Thank you all for the support, there have been a lot of times in these past 7 years where I wouldn’t have been nearly as safe if it wasn’t for yalls help. Doing commissions & getting donos ocassionally through this account has saved me on multiple occasions; ranging from homelessness, feeding my cats, textbook/college tuition, and other situations I don’t know how I would have fared in if I had no income at the time. I seriously can’t explain how much this blog and all of you meant for me during such a painful & dangerous period of my life.

If for whatever reason you would like to get in contact; be it for commissions or anything else - my old art insta @CartoonyEyes will be the only way to reach me after tomorrow.

More context for my leaving below for the sake of getting it off my chest, but content warning for general mentions of abuse.

When I first made this account in highschool, I was going through some pretty horrific abuse at home, and I wasn’t ever really in a good state of mind during its prime. This blog was a form of escapism that made me feel seen, appreciated, and happy at a time in my life where I wasn’t getting that anywhere else. Because of that & my general naivety due to active grooming at the time, I also made a lot of ignorant shitty decisions, and had a lot of wild overreactions on here. Unfortunately, every post has a memory behind it, and despite the fact that I’ve done my best to scrub this blog of those old behaviors and posts- I still know at one point they existed. I can’t expect myself to comb through 7+ years of untagged posts, but I also don’t want to lose everything I posted here - it was such an important moment in my life. I have since left the shitty home situation, and I’m in MUCH better circumstances and spirits these days - but I still find myself not wanting to post because I’m anxious of possibly having some cringe ass behavior brought back up from a time where I should have known better, but didn’t.

That all being said, I will be remaking a new tumblr and a new side minecraft blog - I just won’t be directly associating it back to this account. Fresh slate kinda thing, even though there’s really no such thing on the internet. It’s just a little more distance between me and a period of my life I’d rather not have reminding of every time I look at my notifications. If you notice a new blog might be me? No u don’t!

Thank you, and toodles!

-Oli

#oli speaks

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luvhughes43 · 11 months

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crazy over you | jack hughes x reader

luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

request: I love your blackpink fc trevor insta edit!!! what about y/n whose sibling is a famous kpop idol and she ends up dating jack? maybe she could be mark lee’s sister, nct had a concert at newark a while ago!!

ynuser just posted !

ynuser

liked by nct, yourbrother, yourbff, and others

ynuser ready for the show🪩✨

tagged: nct

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fanone she’s going to the show??🥹🥹

fantwo queen supporting her brother🫶

yourbff she changed her outfit immediately after these photos were taken btw

ynuser stop exposing me😭😭

yourotherbff it’s true she’s now wearing an nct shirt she turned into a crop top and some jeans !

yourbff and some sparkly boots !

ynuser okay okay we get it !!

“yn! were going to be late you don't need any more pictures!” your friend shouted as she started walking ahead of you. at the rate you were going you were going to miss the beginning of your brothers show.

“just a few more just-” you yelped loudly as you felt someone's shoulder hit you. you stumbled, and your camera hit the ground with a clatter. before you could comprehend what was happening a hand was against your shoulder helping you to steady yourself.

“I’m so sorry!” a guy apologized, reaching down to retrieve your camera for you.

“it’s okay” you replied a little disoriented as you reached out to grab your camera from him. “i should've been looking to where i was going”

“were you taking pictures?” the guy asked.

“Yn!” your friends voice shouted at you as she was now even further away.

your head turned to your friends voice and jack must’ve caught on to your situation because he offered to take some quick photos for you. you posed, and jack snapped away, both of you not saying much.

“my apology,” he said to you as he handed your camera back to you.

you smiled in response. “thank you. I’m-”

“YN LN! I swear if you're not walking up these stairs!” your friends voice reverberated throughout the staircase.

“I’ve gotta go! thank you!” your voice was loud as you ran the rest of the way up the stairs to meet your friend. you could hear the unnamed mans laugh echo throughout the staircase. “im jack by the way!” you heard him yell.

“THANKS JACK!” you yelled back as your friend grabbed you by the arm and began pulling you along.

notification [instagran]: jackhughes has followed you

Instagram DMS:

ynuser: hey stranger

jackhughes: hey girl with the camera

ynuser hearted a message

ynuser: how did u find my insta?

jackhughes: your friend almost shattered my eardrum when she screamed your name so i just gave it a shot on here

ynuser: LMAOO😭 we were running late for a concert

jackhughes: haha that makes sense then! it sucks that you were late but i liked getting to meet you

ynuser: even with my friend nearly shattering your eardrum?

jackhughes hearted a message

jackhughes: even then

ynuser hearted a message

ynuser just posted !

ynuser

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, yourbff, and others

ynuser last night in newark❤️‍🔥

load more comments

jackhughes no 📸 credits ?

ynuser thank you stranger👍

hugheswh0re now why was he taking pics of this girl...

hockeyfan hugheswh0re because hes a normal person and is allowed to be friends with people ??

yourbff had the best time and SOMEBODY met the cutest person too🤭

ynuser i dont recall meeting any cute people🤔

yourbff like u weren't blushing and giggling all the way home...

ynuser I WASNT WTF !!!

jackhughes just posted !

jackhughes

liked by ynuser, _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, and others

jackhughes lifes been magic📸❤️

tagged: ynuser

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yourbrother ynuser THE RING??

ynuser is an accessory !

yourbrother lets keep it that way❤️

brothersfan protective activated🤣❤️

ynuser stranger🥲💘

jackhughes danger😈🔥

ynuser 😐 ok

trevorzegras congrats man🔥🔥

liked by jackhughes

yourbff CUTEST EVER ! I PREDICTED THIS RELATIONSHIP !

trevorzegras can u predict our relationship?😇

yourbff 😐😐

fanthree SHES DATING AN NHL PLAYER??? OMG????

jacksfuturegf86: WHY? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?? PLEASE JACK THIS ISNT YOU! THIS ISNT YOU LOOK AT ME BABY PLS🙏🙏

from then on you and jack continued to dm each other until you eventually went out on a few dates. you were honestly surprised by how well the two of you got along. you were forever grateful for your brothers show in newark and for the fact that you were running late<3

#jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes fic #jack hughes insta edit #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #nhl fic

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meggs-benedict · 2 years

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Just more shitpost than anything substantial,

ALSO UPDATE:

Purged my inbox again and keeping inbox closed for now. Deepest apologies I just seem to not be able to catch up with them sometimes and I feel bad getting to them almost a week later ^^; I find myself more active on instagram again :’

I’ll come back eventually! It’s been a pleasure and I’ll just be posting art every now and then! Or other things bahah—You all have been so kind and I’m happy to have such an engaging and wonderful following <333 Y’all helped me through a lot!!

—-

Anyway here some fun stuff I’ve done on insta under the cut :v 👇

#clotted cream cookie #custard cookie iii #latte cookie #financier cookie #clotted cream x latte #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run fanart #meggieart

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iyokko · 2 months

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introducing: iyo

sup! i’m iyo. i’ve had this account for a while, but finally decided to start using it. this is probably the most formal i’ll be for a while. also, a txt version of the image with more info is below in the cut!

introduction pt. 2

general stuff

iyokko — any prns (they/them default, afab)

hi there! i’m a midwestern digital artist who also likes to dabble into worldbuilding. i’m quite busy with schoolwork and extracurriculars, but i like to make time to share my insane ramblings i have throughout the day.

i’ve got a lovely girlfriend! i’m fruity, unfortunately. i might talk about her occasionally, but i’ll try not to since this is the public eye.

i have a pretty poor attention span though, and i’ll probably appear periodically on this account. when that happens, i’m still alive! feel free to send me stuff.

fandoms

here are some of my interests as of late:

murder drones

aphmau (why i joined tumblr! was a mystreet and minecraft diaries kid growing up.)

alice in borderland

extraordinary attorney woo

wings of fire + fantribes (also a wof kid! still am. make most of my extra cash through the ever-popular fantribes on discord.)

blue lock (manga)

beastars + beast complex (both manga)

oshi no ko (manga — stopped reading it for now since it’s gone off on the deep end)

hallow knight

danganronpa (the disease infected me in middle school and it’s sadly rotted in my head permanently)

one piece (just got into it! wish me luck)

warrior cats (read this at the same time as wof and aph. no wonder i came out so gay)

other stuff too! this is just from the top of my head.

qna

what brought you to joining tumblr?

aphmau brought me here! i saw the community, and as a lifelong aphmau fan—with a rewrite in the works by the way—i just had to join in. tumblr’s been on my radar for a while now to join!

what/when will you post?

i’ll be generally posting my art and ramblings! unfortunately, i probably won’t have a very set schedule, but i’ll try to post at least once or twice a week.

what should i stay for?

if you like my personality or art style, then you should stick around! i can’t promise i’ll be talking about every fandom i’m in, but a few that have always stuck with me are danganronpa, aphmau, and wings of fire. those three will probably continue being posted about throughout my tumblr career, so if you like that sort of content, i might be up your alley.

my inbox—is it open?

it’s currently open! but please be patient with me, i’ve only ever lurked on tumblr before. actually using it is currently a mystery i’m uncovering.

any sideblogs to be aware of?

currently i have one other account for my mcd and myst rewrite! it’s called @iyo-mcd-rewrite! hopefully the link worked for that—if not, you’ll often see me reblog posts from it.

i might make others for my two other big fandoms (wof and danganronpa), but for now they’ll be contained in this main one!

do you have other accounts?

discord — iyokko

instagram — iyokko__

toyhouse — iyokko

twitter — iyokko185998

email — [email protected]

where do i contact you?

i’m most active on discord and toyhouse, but if you dm me on insta or email me, i’ll get it at a later date! twitter i am at a loss for on dms. that’s all for now!

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steffigraf · 3 months

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warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

#sorry to get all sad again #been editing this on my drafts all day #ive not been in a good headspace lately #*

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cleostoohot · 2 years

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y’all. i’m slowly but kind of surely not wanting to be a loa teacher anymore. since the trip i went on and i was barely on tumblr for a week, it made me remember how stress free my days were. not saying i be stressed on here bc i don’t be. but.. idk everyday just went by swiftly. since then i try to force myself to get on here, interact, & clear my inbox which takes days or i just get super annoyed (recently my inbox has just been full of questions i answered millions of times before or people asking me where they’re manifestation is). i wanna start really living my life out & really enjoying the things i’ve manifested. i plan on manifesting that i’m not such a homebody anymore and that i enjoy being outside and around other people so i don’t just wanna sit in the house majority of the day. i want to be an influencer (nothing loa related at all) and just have fun with no priorities or feeling like i have priorities (aka, teaching loa). i think imma go on a very long break because i need it. i’ve been active since i started. i do plan on going in the void state very very soon (i just gotta finish my desires list) so when i do come back y’all will get that for sure. i will still be a little active on insta, but probably just watching stories or posting on my story. so don’t just go in my instagram dms with questions bc my story says i posted 3 mins ago lol. but until then, y’all got this. your dream life wants you way more than you think it does. you were meant to live the life you want so start living it. no more excuses.

#i’ll be back soon <3

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papawolfcg · 22 days

Note

Just got back from travels and .. bein more active on Tumblr. I’m always on insta wueurueue :3 btw is @tniguppi th last msg too !!

-🌧️⭐️🪽?????

I’m also very active on insta a lot, but I’ve been getting more active on here as well ! I hope your travels went well, where did you go ? :0

#papa’s mailbox

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aikatoru · 1 month

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Hi guys👋

So…I’ve finally calmed down and came to a “normal-ish” state of mind…

I actually don’t wanna come back fully…

This is the first time in awhile I don’t feel like throwing my phone anytime I open this app…

While I don’t really like this app with all the bullying and drama that tends to happen here…I also don’t really hate it…

I still love my moots, I love interacting with them and my followers 💕

But to ensure that I won’t get fixated as much, I won’t be as active here…I would be taking frequent breaks and I’m gonna open an AO3 account…and an insta account…maybe a twitter account…

I’ll be posting most of my writings to my AO3, and still deciding if I should cross post it here too…as I don’t want to get obsessed with post interactions…

I’ll start an art account on insta and possibly twitter…

Nothing’s been finalized yet…

But yeah I’m back…I guess…kinda…

And I also wanna say I love Mimi (@avatarofstars) and Heids (@kitashousewife)

Y’all are legit my besties 🥺💕💕

It’s amazing just how much we’ve been talking everyday even when I’m not online here…which speaks volumes cause I suck at keeping in touch with people 💕

But I love love talking to y’all!! Love learning more about y’all!!!💕

#icymi 🤍#aikatoru blog

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robntunney · 11 months

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I’ve been home for almost 24 hours now and I still can’t believe everything that happened this weekend....

In February, I had promised myself for my 30th birthday this year, I would do one thing just for me. No questions asked. No wondering if it was too expensive. No second guessing myself. No fear holding me back.

Flash forward to about a month ago, Robin was confirmed as a guest at the June Spookala convention in Ocala, Florida. I knew that this was the thing I was gonna do. As soon as I saw it, I knew. Like a light switch was instantly flipped in my brain.

I’m going to put all of the details under the cut because I don’t want to fill up your dash with a super long post BUT I will say she is even more sweet than you would think. The time she takes with every group, talking to them, listening to them, making them feel comfortable is just so heart warming. I saw it at the auto table and in the pro picture booth. It was just genuine care.

To say that my heart is full after this weekend would be an understatement.

OK so these are all the details, that even to me have a major plot twist ending (I mean I’m still not sure it actually happened)

FRIDAY: I had made a poster myself to get signed because you guys know I can be a lil extra :) Plus I just felt like for me it would be more special. It is a watercolor collage of a good portion of her works. This was a horror con so most people are here to see her because of the craft (great movie) but I think as soon as she saw the poster, she might of realized I was here as a fan of her/her work over all as opposed to a fan of her in that specific movie. She loved it and asked if she could take a picture of it, which was fine with me. As she was signing, I was going back in forth in my head whether or not to show her my tattoo. But I quickly realized that I would be going against the true meaning behind it if I didn’t say anything. So I explained it to her (tattoo here & inspo here) and she told me she loved it and that it was so sweet and asked if she could take a picture of that too, which again, no problem here. I also did my pro photo on Friday which comes with a long story of it’s own but I’m gonna keep that one private (if we’re moots and you wanna know just message me!)

SATURDAY: This was a very busy day so I was just wondering looking at all the amazing vendors the show had (I bought so many stickers and a few pins). I did this a bit all days but couldn’t do it for long because all I wanted to do was buy all the things!!! I also did a little local exploring.

SUNDAY: I decided to hold off and get the jersey dress replica signed (partly because I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to do it) but I decided that I wanted to do it. My plan from the beginning was that I would get it signed and framed to auction off for charity. It is not beyond me that me even having the opportunity to do this is a privilege that not everyone has, so this was the best way I knew how to honor that and give back. When I got there, she remembered me (ngl that threw me) and we just started talking again and we started talking about edits, since now she had signed 2 things that I made. I told her about tumblr and @tmsource and how there are still a lot of the mentalist fans out there that are active now on many platforms. She said how talented we all are, everyone who makes edits, because she does see them. And she does like them! I told her my plans for the jersey dress and if she just wanted to shout out a charity on insta, I would see it at some point and make sure all proceeds of the jersey go to that charity. There was some more talking that I’m gonna keep for me but at the end she got up and said I have to give you a hug, which was so sweet :)

Here comes the twist..... Sunday night after I got myself all packed up since I was hitting Magic Kingdom in the morning before my flight and needed to get on the road early, I decided to do the insta post. You know to mark the end of the weekend. I tagged her in it because of course I thought she might see it, and see that I was very grateful for her time this weekend. I’ve had a not so great relationship with instagram in the past so after a full year of not having it on my phone except for a few times where I literally downloaded it, made a post and deleted it again, I hadn’t been using it. Just a few months ago had I decided to leave it on my phone, but I kept notifications off. After a few min, I get a text from a friend that just said omg britt. Of course I was confused, and was just like ??? They said look at instagram. She had liked and commented on my post. Of course I was shocked because even though when you tag someone you hope they see it, you know that it’s not a high probability of it actually happening. I replied and thanked her again for her time this weekend, and dropped a lil reminder about the charity recommendation for the jersey. (bonus fact, I almost deleted the comment when I tried to pin it, not a good time for me) I just kept thinking about how sweet it was that she was interacting with people who had been at the con after giving 3 whole days to everyone. Got on twitter, freaked out it a lil, then went back to insta to close the app out and I had more notifications. AND THIS IS WHAT I SAW......

I still don’t have words if I’m being honest. (context for the comment is in the last video on the post) I’m just still so grateful for this whole weekend. I’m grateful for my friends that helped me through it even if they were miles and miles away. I’m grateful for the privilege to even be able to do something like this. I’m grateful for Robin’s generosity. Just so grateful.

If you’ve made it this far, I love you. You’re a real one :)

#robin tunney #britt.txt #spookala #tumblr girlies unite

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kolsmikaelson · 7 months

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hey guys!! it's been a long few months that i've been gone (i can’t remember when exactly i started being inactive but that’s not the point) and i've been missing this hellsite so much in the time that i’ve been gone. there wasn’t ever really a reason for me going ia all of the sudden but what i do know is that my mental state definitely needed a longer break from here, and while i'm still not in the best place mentally i still wanted to hop back on here and give a bit of an update on my life and my blog and try to be a bit more active like i used to be.

writing and the future of this blog —

as i mentioned before, i haven't been in the best mental state lately but i’ve decided i want to try and come back here and start writing again! i love writing and i think getting back into it and getting into the groove of things here would help me out some. now with that being said, i’ll be going through who i write for and updating things, unfortunately this also means a new taglist most likely but if you’d rather i have a writing sideblog where i reblog all of my fics so if that’s more your thing go ahead and follow it @rodrickhefley !! i’ll still be writing for and posting about hockey so don’t worry about that, but i also want to try writing for other things (such as ted lasso, star wars, scream, avatar, hotd, etc.) i have a few things up my sleeve at the moment but none are quite ready to see the light of day unfortunately. i’m hoping to gain some new, active mutuals from this as well :). i’m gonna be trying out some different formats for my fics so when there’s inconsistencies please ignore that! i’ll also be doing some social media aus / insta posts again!! with all of this being said, i've decided to either post all of the requests that are currently sitting in my inbox so that another writer can take over and write it or delete them all. i may or may not keep a few depending on if i feel inspired by them or not but we’ll see what i decide:) (poll maybe??)

personal life —

my life has been an absolute rollercoaster of events since about mid april i’d say? ever since then i’ve been so incredibly busy and haven’t had a moment of peace honestly but now that i’ve got more time i’m back!!! i turned eighteen back in july, woohoo!! so i’ve been trying to figure out how to navigate life as a real adult now. it’s been going somewhat okay, i’m not in college at the moment (won’t dive too deep into this bc it’s so scary but i’ll have plenty of time to write fics so ;) ). part of my absence here was caused by the fact that i started getting really active on twitter, where i went through so much shit but also made a pretty good friend group!! a few days back i took a trip and saw arctic monkeys in concert (i had tickets for over a year and it was well worth it) . it was such a fantastic show!!! i’ve not got much of an update other than that so if you enjoyed my rambling and made it this far thank you sm. i’ve missed it here <3.

also, not sure when this happened but thank you all sm for 1.8k followers?? that’s so crazy to me but it means so much <33

since i'm not sure which of my moots are active anymore i’ll just tag who i can think of off the top of my head — @ilyasorokinn @2manytabsopen @ang3lik @angryblondechick @boqvistsbabe @timstuetzle @lavenderacademia @conniesanchor @stfukie @sunshinefarabees @hockstuff @typical-simplelove @dmonchld + i know i'm probably missing so many people but it's been so long i don't remember everybodys usernames anymore

#this is all over the place so tldr i’m back baby!!!#missed this place and missed everyone on here so hopefully being back will actually stick :)#˗ˏˋcait speaks ´ˎ˗#my mutuals ❥

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yourlocalartsonist · 1 year

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ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter One

A/N: HI I’M FINALLY POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER. Really excited and super nervous but I’m SO happy I can finally share this with everyone. I’m not doing a drawing for every chapter since that’d be selling my soul to the red dilf down below but this is the first chapter so I figured why not do something special. Also apologies if any of the characters seem ooc, I’m still learning how to write them so it might take a bit (especially the dialogue). Also also, sorry if the formatting seem weird, I just copy pasted a google doc into Tumblr and I haven’t entirely figured out how this app works yet. ANYWHIZZLE despite all that I hope y’all enjoy and I can’t wait to write more ^^

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Disclaimer: chapter involves themes of manipulation, violence, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3

—

I looked out the window and sighed. Today could have been a lot worse, sure, but it also could’ve been a whole lot better.

It was one am on a Monday night. Staying up this late this early in the week is gonna guarantee a begrudgingly painful school life till Friday. And yet, here I was, staring at my phone at his texts.

Zane: Hey! You were active on insta. How come you didn’t text back?

Zane: hey it’s been an hour now. I’m starting to worry about you

Zane: Salena are you ignoring me? I already said I was sorry

Zane: fine then. Don’t text me. But at least talk to me tomorrow. I miss you.

Zane: Goodnight.

He was getting clingier by the day. Last month when he asked me out, I was worried rejecting him would break his heart. Somehow, it looks like it had the opposite effect and boosted his ego since he’s only gotten more pushy after that. I mean today he picked a fight with a guy just for talking to me. It’s getting ridiculous.

I groaned and hopped off bed to get a drink of water. I know I should probably forgive him, I’m sure he’s just coping differently maybe. It’ll get better with time. I hope it gets better with time. Otherwise the next four months are gonna be excruciatingly long. Still, I can’t just not be mad after what he did.

As I lamented in my depressive thoughts, I saw four figures out the window, running from rooftop to rooftop. Smiling, I opened the window and let the cool air and the joyous voices flow in. At least one good thing’s coming out from today.

It looked like they were chasing someone, a giant pig man specifically. I would’ve been more freaked out if this was the first human-animal thing I saw.

The very first time I saw one was a giant bull in a bellboy uniform running along the sidewalk, clumsily knocking anything and everything over as he wept. I assumed my sleep deprived brain was probably making things up again but the sheer absurdity of it paired with the fact that my sleep schedule was actually decent that week, I began to question that guess. Then, only ten minutes later, seeing four human-sized turtles walking upright seemingly searching for the bull man sealed the deal that I could not be making this shit up.

But that was two or three years ago. Now, it’s more of a fun surprise seeing the new animal person of the week than a sanity-questioning spiral. Most often, I see the turtles passing by. Sometimes they’re goofing off or skateboarding. Other times, they’re chasing someone like right now. I can only assume the pig man is evil if he’s being chased by them. I know the turtles are good since I suspect they’re the “mysterious heroes” that saved New York from that-which-shall-not-be-named a few months back. I mean, who else could it be?

Even if they’re chasing a potential murderous lunatic, they seem like they’re having fun. They’re all smiling and laughing and whizzing around everywhere, just looking at them gives me an adrenaline rush.

I stared out the window longingly as they zipped by, disappearing into the night. Maybe the late night was getting to my brain, but things just felt worse than usual this time. I’ve been watching these four go by my window at least once a week for so long. They always look so fun to be around. Free-spirited and zany, the exact opposite of everyone in my life. Maybe I really am going insane but for once I just want to know them, to see them up close. And if I’m feeling particularly crazy, I might even say hello.

I found my body edging closer and closer out the window. The fire-escape does lead all the way down, and I’m only on the sixth floor anyway. It’s not exactly a fast distance to the ground but it wouldn’t be too bad if I run…

Before I knew it, I was already out dashing in their direction to catch up. I’ve only ever dreamed of having enough courage to actually attempt this. If my aunt finds out I snuck out my grave will be dug and that’s not an exaggeration.

Yet somehow, that didn’t stop me. My skin felt numb from the cold wind, my hair was going crazy behind me. I felt pain in my cheeks from how much I was smiling. I guess I am feeling particularly crazy tonight.

***

By the time I caught up with them, I was embarrassingly out of breath. They were now all ground level in an alleyway and I was hiding just around the corner, close enough to listen in. A little nervous if they can hear my hideous dying dog pants, not just because it would blow my cover but also for the sake of my prestige. They seem a little too distracted by the pig man to notice me, though.

“Alright, meathead! Give us the poison, or I’m gonna smash your head into the wall and keep smashing till I smash the wall down with my smashy little fists!”

Note to self: the red one likes smashing.

“Oh get stuffed you annoying little rats! Can’t a guy sabotage his rival chef’s excuse of a business in peace?”

“GASP! He’s defaming rats!”

They broke out into a fight over what looked to be a large bag of, assumedly, poison. The pig man’s tentacle arms were whipping all over the place, trying to land a blow on the turtles. Oh and apparently his arms can extend which I would find cool if it weren’t for how gross it looked. It’s all drippy and squishy-looking and weird, not a texture I’d want to be near.

I won’t lie, I was kind of distracted from the danger I put myself in since being this close allowed me to properly see the turtles fight. At first glance it looks like they’re flailing all over the place, but it’s actually in a more cohesive way. The blue turtle teleported around and sliced the tentacles attacking them, the red one went in for a punch with giant fists at any opening. Purple guy had glowing guns in his signature color all shooting at the same time and the orange turtle swung around hitting pig man with any object his fiery chains landed on. My god was I awestruck watching them all in action. I was so busy gawking I barely even registered the magic weapons.

One of the flame chains got a hold of his leg and sent the pig guy flying backwards, losing grip of his poison bag.

“Heads up!” The blue one yelled as the bag soared through the air. All the turtles attempted catching it while the pig man’s tentacle arm followed close behind the bag. It looked like it was about to be body horror Peppa Pig’s win.

So I stepped out and grabbed the bag before he could. All eyes now on me, I made a run for it in the other direction realizing how exposed I was. Behind me I could hear a confused “Who was that?” sounding like it was from the purple guy.

Yeah, sure, maybe this wasn’t the smartest move but if I’m getting myself involved I might as well be useful.

I’d break in and out of thought every time I crashed into a wall or slid on the ground. I was never exactly known for my clearly graceful nature. My body started aching. Still I kept running, only stopping to throw a rock or two at one of the stringy pink arms behind me. Seriously, why does that dude have to be so puke-worthy.

A silver blur sped right past my head. The glowing sword stopped in front of me and a familiar blue turtle appeared out of thin air.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

As much as I pride myself on reflexes, the initial shock didn’t wear off fast enough to prevent me from crashing into him and falling back on the ground. I barely had an impact on him, though, since he was still standing perfectly fine with a hand on his hip and the other gripping his weapon.

“Look pal, I have been heroing all week and as much as I love fighting villains and looking badass, I say we make this fast and you just tell me who sent you.”

“S-sent me?” It took me a while to catch on. Not my best day, I know.

“Oh, no no no! I'm not working for anyone! I was trying to help. See?”

I held out the bag towards him, hoping that would convince him I’m not a threat. To my surprise, instead of taking it, he squinted his eyes and me and crouched down to match my height.

“You know, you look kinda familiar. Have we met before?..”

I was too stunned to respond.

Back when I first saw the turtles, after seeing the human bull, I overheard them talking about him and wanting to find him. The blue one especially, he seemed extremely guilty about something. I figured I’d help but I wasn’t brave enough to just go up to them and tell them I saw the bull. I’m too shy to even approach regular humans, these were talking anthropomorphic turtles. So instead I threw a note down and it bounced off blue’s head. He looked at it, read it, then looked up at me. I poked my head out from behind the fire escape and gave an awkward wave, trying to let him know I was on their side. It worked since he directed his team towards where I wrote the bull man went.

I remember later that same night, he knocked on my window. I was a bit freaked out admittedly and hid away by instinct. I wasn’t exactly expecting to see them again.

“Oookay. Well.” I could tell he wasn’t sure how to deal with me. I was regretting hiding but my legs were frozen in place.

“I don’t know if you can hear me since the window’s closed but I wanted to say thanks for the note. We found our guy way faster than we would’ve if we kept having to use Raph’s ideas.” He let out a playful chuckle.

I felt my heart melt a little. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t really that. I don’t usually hear things like that often.

“So yeah uh, if you can still hear me, thank you.”

My legs started working again as I heard him leap off to leave. I opened the window and rushed out to the fire escape. Luckily, he was on the ground not too far away from me. I called out to him.

“Salena!”

He turned around and saw me. “What?”

I beamed brighter and yelled again.

“My name is Salena!”

“Salena?” His voice brought me back to present day.

“You remember me?”

He let out a cheery laugh. “Of course I remember you! I told you, your note was the only reason we found Bullhop so fast that day.”

“But that was years ago.” I sighed in disbelief as he helped me to my feet.

“And? No face has ever escaped ol’ Neon Leon’s noggon!” He proudly pointed to his brain. I debated telling him the word was noggin.

We heard voices in the distance.

“PUNCHING LIKE A BOSS!!”

“I SWEAR ONE DAY I’LL TURN YOU ALL INTO STEW!”

“GUYS! He wants to turn me into stew!”

“Mikey, that’s not a good thing.”

“Says you! I’d make a delicious stew, thank you very much, Dee!”

“Welp, duty calls! Let’s get you to safety.” With that, he opened a blue portal and pulled me through it to a nearby rooftop. So his swords can teleport and open portals??

“You think you can keep this bag with you?”

I managed to nod.

He gave a smirk and stepped back through his portal to rejoin the battle.

“Leo! Where’s the bag?”

“And the person who stole the bag?” I could still hear red and purple speak.

“Relax, they’re a friend, they’re keeping the bag safe.”

“A new friend?! OMIGOSH!!” Orange seemed excited

The fight picked up fiercer than before. It was hard to keep up with the turtles and the chaos of their weapons. Orange flames, purple lasers, sheathing metal. The ground shook at every red flash. All the while, the air filled with lively laughter and jokes.

Pig man wasn’t going down easy, either. He pounded his giant spiky mallet, probably matching the force of red’s hits. I know they’re experienced fighters and all, but I felt a bit useless sitting around and doing nothing. I looked around for some way I could help.

Luckily, something caught my attention. On the left side of the roof, I could see a pile of bricks laying around. More than perfect for knocking out a mutant. Now the question is how to get them down.

I saw a flash of blue out the corner of my eye.

Bingo.

Screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping my voice wouldn’t be drowned out, I called out to him.

“Blue! Hey, blue up here!”

He followed my voice to where I was, looking a bit confused and worried I was giving myself away.

I pointed to the brick in my hand. “Make a portal on top of him!”

I saw his face light up as he understood my plan. “Great idea!”

As he dashed off, a blue portal opened near me. I rushed around the roof, grunting as I pushed the bricks in. Blue threw a sword in the air, appeared right above the pig, and opened the other side of the portal, letting all the bricks rain down on him. They all looked a bit surprised seeing around 8 or 10 bricks hit him on the head, blue included. Yeah, sure, maybe pushing all of them in was a bit overkill but seeing how crazy powerful this guy was, I didn’t want to risk it.

And boy, was he out cold. The four turtles made their way up the roof, I presume to get the bag of poison.

I glanced back down at the pig “So like…he’s not dead is he?”

“Meatsweats? Nah that guy’s handled way worse.” Blue said strangely casually. “Good thinking with the bricks, btdubs.”

I’d appreciate the compliment more but I was still struggling to figure out what could possibly be worse than bricks to the head.

“Yeah, thanks for your help back there with the poison, too.” red rubbed his neck and gave a sweet smile. For a big guy he seems awfully friend-shaped.

“I’m Raph. These are my brothers Leo, Mikey, and Donnie.” Leo struck a pose, Mikey waved like his life depended on it, and Donnie…well he was just on his phone with his shell turned towards me. It’s a cool shell, at least. I never noticed it wasn’t a real one before.

“I’m Salena. Nice to meet you all.”

People used to tell me I ask too many questions so I got into the habit of just keeping my tongue bit. But I would’ve exploded if I didn’t seize the moment today to find out what the hell was going on. I’m bad at social situations, anyway, might as well be on purpose.

“So if you don’t mind me asking…What are you? How do you exist? Where’d you get your weapons? Did you make your shell yourself? Who was that guy? Can I see what’s in this bag?”

“AHEM! I’m glad you asked!” Donnie turned his attention towards me, dramatically answering my questions. “We, weird human, are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (trademark). And yes, my battle shell is indeed Genius Built technology. Made this baby when I was twelve.”

“We’re mutant turtles!-”

“Literally just said that in the name Micheal”

“Still think Mad Dogz was better.”

“-And we were made in Draxum’s lab to take over the world back when he was going through his ‘bad boy’ phase but we ended up being heroes instead. Pretty cool right?”

“Hey, inquiry for you actually, why’d you help us anyway?”

I awkwardly answered Donnie, telling them about my luck of random mutants frequently passing by my window. Apparently some of them were Yōkai, Raph said there was a whole Hidden City of them and a doorway leading to it near where I lived. I was a little surprised at how happy they all looked listening to me talk. Usually I’d be told to shut up by now so this was a nice change of pace.

“What happened to your arm?” Leo pointed to the wound on my forearm.

“Oh. That explains why it felt so sore. I guess I scraped against a wall or something? It’s fine, though, I’ll patch it up when I get home.”

“No way. You helped us, we help you. Let the professional do his magic.”

Leo took out some supplies from his pouch. I sat on the edge and let him work on my arm while the rest - mostly Donnie - info dumped their stories to me. At first it was a way to distract me from the initial sting of my cuts being cleaned but it wasn’t long until they got carried away with their storytelling. They told me about their mutation at the lab, how they found out, their two dads and other human friends. The oozequitoes, as they called them, were what made them and all the other mutants. It’s crazy to think these guys were made as literal military weapons considering they’re now wacky vigilantes.

“Voilà! Look and be amazed!”

“Woah! You weren’t kidding when you said professional.” I admired Leo’s bandaging on my arm. It was clean and neat, tight enough to be secure but not turning my fingers blue or anything. Much better job than I would’ve done.

The full moon was beautiful tonight. Unfortunately, it reminded me where I should be at this time.

“Well, I’m really enjoying talking to guys but I should probably go home. I don’t even wanna know how late it is”

“What? But can’t you stay a little longer?” Mikey, who was practically vibrating this whole time, suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so dejected it made my heart hurt. Raph attempted to comfort him.

“They probably have school Mike. Maybe we can hang out another time, if you’re up for it?”

“REALLY- I mean, yes, yeah. That sounds lovely!” Stay civil, Salena.

“Hey before you go, you should really try one of these.” Leo opened the poison bag and took out a pizza puff? “They are absolutely delicious.”

Poison or not, pizza puff’s a pizza puff.

“NO!“ Unfortunately, Raph slapped the treat out of my hand before I could plop it in my mouth.

We bid our farewells and Mikey handed me a paper with their numbers on it paired with some cute doodles of them. After telling him where to go, Leo opened a portal to my room. I know you’re not supposed to tell strangers your address and it did feel a little weird but a portal was the fastest way home. No way I’m hoofing it this late in the night. I love New York but not that much.

Sitting on my bed now, I observed the blue turtle as he was getting ready to go back. The red stripes around his eyes made me realize he was a red-eared slider, I read about them back when I was six or seven I think.

“Hey Leo?”

“Yeah?”

I smiled. “It was nice running into you again.”

He gave his signature smirk “Funny how life works, ay?”

He waved and fell back into his portal. I closed my eyes for a bit, then grabbed my sketchbook.

Placing Mikey’s doodles on a blank page, I wrote down their respective eye colors.

Green, brown, yellow, blue.

—

Next Chapter | Salena Moni

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