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scarletdreamers · 29 days

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La Vita Nuova

This is a little snippet of a post-fall Hannigram fic I'm currently working on! Just leaving the preface here and then we'll see. Enjoy!

Preface, Hannibal

The dragon laid dead at their feet. The pitch black of the night reflected upon both the water shimmering behind Hannibal, and the blood that was spilled all over the place. In the luminescent moonlight the two looked horridly similar.

The hand of a man reaching for him through the sharp air of the night. Ready to take. To merge.

The blood stained hand of the only man in the world Hannibal had ever loved. The man he’d done all of this for. The hand of satisfaction was being offered to him. It gifted him everything Hannibal ever wanted when he took it as lovingly as he was able to.

It gave him Will. All of Will.

And all at once, everything around them didn’t seem to matter anymore. Nothing seemed to matter, only this moment. This scene, stretching out in front of him.

He took Will in his arms. It felt as if a force came to exist around the both of them. A shield protecting them from the ugly world outside. It extinguished every light aside from the shimmer in Will’s blazing eyes. They reflected the fire in Hannibal’s own eyes as they pierced right into the deepest parts of his psyche.

A declaration of understanding.

A surrender to love.

‘’See? This is all I ever wanted for you, Will…’’

His words were gently spoken, but they carried the weight of millions. For the first time in his life, Hannibal found that the words came out of his mouth before thinking them through.

’’For both of us.’’

It wasn’t just a disclosure, it was a confession.

All air got sucked away between them during the second it took Will to catch his breath and respond, but his answer was worth the suffocation.

‘’It’s beautiful.’’

Will’s words made Hannibal feel something he hadn’t felt in a really, really long time. He wasn’t sure whether to describe it as true happiness, he’d forgotten what that felt like, but the feeling was very present. It was the size of something much greater than them.

Hyronymous Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights painted on the priceless canvas of reality. Flesh, blood and desire in its highest form. They were one and the same. Hannibal could feel Will inside of his body. Rushing through his veins, crushing into the walls of his heart.

The need to connect was more important than any of the injuries they’d suffered. The physical boundaries of their bodies didn’t stop them from clinging onto each other. On the contrary, it made them grasp tighter. It made their holding more desperate.

And for once, Hannibal found himself in peaceful oblivion. Unaware of what would come next, but whatever it was, Hannibal was prepared for it. As long as Will Graham wouldn’t slip away from him, he was willing to end up anywhere.

He would be content with walking through the gates of Hell tonight, as long as he had Will by his side.

Folie a Deux. Madness shared by two. Hannibal remembered teaching Alana about the term, convinced that he would never find himself relating to the words. Yet here they were- In their world, madness used to have no name. Madness was no more than a ghost from the past, long before they were born. It never existed in their little world. In their world there were only those foolish enough to keep up weak appearances and those who were able to let that go.

But here, Hannibal could taste it. That madness. And it tasted sickeningly sweet.

He rested his head against Will’s and inhaled his scent. Now that he’d quite literally been flipped inside out, his own blood all over him, Will smelled more like himself than he ever had before. It filled Hannibal’s head with bliss.

He felt Will’s arms tightening around his neck. Will gave him a second to register the gesture, before he leaned forwards.

Will pushed them both over the edge. Into the gaping void of the gushing ocean beneath them.

Wind rushed past them as time seemed to slow down. Both of them stuck in motion, Will’s arms so helplessly wrapped around him. His face so lovingly buried in Hannibal’s chest. To his surprise, Hannibal didn’t feel his heartbeat accelerate. It slowed down instead. The calm beating of a fulfilled heart.

Hannibal had never been afraid of death. Throughout his whole life he told himself that he would welcome it like an old friend if it ever came to it, but he knew that if he let himself be killed, it would be by something greater, a bigger force than what a human body was able to contain. He never considered himself deserving of death, but he’d known that God would come for him when it was time.

Thirteen years old, with the cold corpse of his sister laying lifeless next to him in the red-stained snow, had been the first and only time he’d ever prayed to God to take him away from this place. To at least let him be reunited with his sister’s restless soul floating around him all the time. Just too out of reach for him to catch, too close to forget about her. Even death seemed more comforting than whatever torture he had to endure during those moments.

He’d weeped and sobbed until his throat was dry and he physically couldn’t produce more tears. God hadn’t answered his begs. He’d left Hannibal’s mind to die while punishing his body with the cost of having to live on.

Hannibal had consumed Mischa out of grief and hunger. Right under the eyes of God. He’d looked up at the sky while he choked on her flesh. That was the moment he decided to never bind himself to another mortal human being ever again. If God couldn’t release him of his pain, then he would find himself rerising within the skin of the devil. He would continue his fight against existence, just to spite the being who rejected his pleas.

From now on, he would be motivated by his own desires, and that alone.

And then he found Will. Cruel Will, who’d taken a hold of everything Hannibal ever stood for, who had shaken all of it up like that was something he could just do, and who never let go. Will who tempted him, over and over again. Who understood him.

To love another person is to see the face of God.

Hannibal had finally found the truth in those words, although it frightened him.

His darling Will, an intruder in his mind, a form of cancer spreading in his ruined stomach. And Hannibal had never wanted to do anything but keep it, love it and let it take him over.

Hannibal had been one of the greatest motivators during the journey of Will’s becoming, but Will didn’t know that Hannibal’s own corruption was now complete. Will had finally taken him over completely. Utterly defenceless in his vulnerability. He had him, because Hannibal was allowing him to drag them into death.

Something he’d sworn to never let another human being accomplish.

His death would be one caused by achingly human hands. By real flesh and bone. And Will was pulling himself along, leaving everything he’d worked so hard to build for three years behind within the blink of an eye.

Three years that felt like decades while Hannibal was rotting in prison suddenly felt like three days since their reunion in Florence. They were back at the beginning and at the same time they’d long passed the finish line. They were running to no-man’s land. Where nobody was cheering at them to accelerate anymore. No one was screaming at them to win the game. The game was over. The passion in their spirit to keep running was all that remained.

But how could Hannibal waste this moment on thinking? How could he lose himself inside his own head when Will was there, bare and clearer in his intentions and beliefs than he’d ever been before?

Hannibal tightened his grip. The air around them was cold, but Will was warm. Soothingly warm. Hannibal’s lips found the top of Will’s head. Just below where his beautiful curls rested on his forehead. He pressed the slightest kiss against Will’s hot skin.

Maybe it wasn’t even enough for Will to recognize it as a kiss, but it did make him feel something, because Hannibal felt him letting go of a deep breath. As if all tension he’d been holding in the entire night was set free by the single gesture of a phantom of a kiss.

Hannibal knew that the fall wouldn’t take forever. Fate would never grant them that much time. Not even now, in their final moments. Hannibal could’ve thought about so many things. He could’ve thought about the FBI, or about how he should feel sorry for Chiyoh because of making her prepare things for an escape that wouldn’t be set in motion. He could’ve spent his final moments thinking about his little sister.

But Hannibal didn’t want all those things. All he could think about was how they were going to escape. He was falling, straight into the mouth of Hell, but he was falling holding Will. He was falling into death holding the man he loved. Truly and deeply, like he’d never loved another.

Will you forgive me, for all of it?

Will’s voice echoed through his mind. The words were never spoken, but they could both feel them dancing around the both of them.

I would never be able not to forgive you.

Hannibal’s lips formed a smile against Will’s skin.

Before he knew it, Hannibal was hit by a deafening ringing in his ear and a blow against his head so violent that he passed out before he could feel any pain.

All his senses faded into one big blur of red, the red faded into black.

And the black faded into something lighter. Something not made of one particular colour, but there was light. Sunlight. It had to be sunlight, because the light felt warm on his face.

Hannibal opened his eyes in surprise, since he hadn’t been aware that they’d been closed in the first place. He blinked a few times to adjust his vision. The intense light of the place got a little less blinding and his surroundings a little less blurry after a few blinks.

It didn’t take him long to know where he was. He would recognize this place everywhere. In life or death, he would be able to see that he found himself in the Cappella Palatina.

The place where his broken heart had been stored and also the place where it had been brought to life again. The place where Will had come to look for him, after the worst betrayal of all. The place where Will had forgiven him for this betrayal. A sacred place. A beaming shrine of love amidst the shadowy hallways of his mind. It was a place that felt like home.

At least, it was an altered version of the chapel. The building was unnaturally empty, unnaturally silent and the ceilings and windows seemed a little higher than he remembered them to be. Hannibal realised that he was sitting. He was sitting on a simple chair and there was a carbon copy of that chair standing next to him at his left side. Both faced towards the chapel’s apse. The altar.

The second chair was empty as well, but Hannibal knew who it belonged to. He didn’t have to turn around to feel that person’s presence behind him. Every sound was a hundred times sharper in the surreal silence around him.

The confident clicking sound of dress shoes echoed on the tiles of the floor. No words were spoken. Hannibal closed his eyes. He heard someone sitting down on the chair next to him. A deep breath of relief. Hannibal opened his eyes.

Will was sitting next to him. He was agonisingly beautiful with his closed eyes and his face bathed in the sunlight coming from the window at his sight. He looked like an angel. An angel in his refined blue suit. He looked at peace. Completely at peace. Like all the worries that never seemed to leave the man’s shoulders had finally departed from them.

Will was no angel. Hannibal was more than aware of that.

Will was a saint. A holy being tainted in his illusory humanity. This was a being worth a million sacrifices. Something more worth living for than Hannibal had ever found in God.

Hannibal inaudibly gasped at the sight of him.

They sat in this silence, this comfortable moment of peace, for the longest time. Nothing hurt. There was no past, there was no future. There was only the present. The significance of this moment and the unspoken words that floated around between them. There was no need for them to be said out loud. Both of them were aware of their message.

But like always, their silence was interrupted. The ticking of a clock. An old clock that could use some restoration, but it ticked nonetheless. The hourglass had been flipped. The sand was moving. Even in this place there was no forever, as much as both of them wanted to.

This wasn’t reality. Hannibal knew the rooms of his mind palace better than any other place. He recognised them when he saw them. Will’s face lacked scars, and the chapel was empty. This place did not exist outside the figment of imagination it was constructed in.

Hannibal was well aware that this was a scene in his head.

That, however, didn’t make it any less important. Or less beautiful.

Hannibal knew that this fantasy was a shared fantasy. He knew that it was also playing in Will’s mind. It had to be. It was too real not to be.

But his worries about this rapidly started taking the better of him. As soon as Hannibal started thinking about reality the scene started shifting. The clock ticked louder. There was a crack in the church’s roof.

It didn’t take long to start crumbling. More cracks appeared in its marvellously crafted ceiling. This scene gifted by his unconsciousness was now stained by reality’s familiar doubts. Hannibal should’ve stayed oblivious.

Still, he didn’t tear his gaze away from Will. He waited for him to realise that something was off. Hannibal waited for dust to fall on Will’s face.

It didn’t, but Will did open his eyes to look at him. Sea storm blue irises stared directly into Hannibal’s own.

Hannibal didn’t have enough time to see what message was behind them before the flood washed over them. The chapel came tumbling down. The roof collapsed in less than a second and everything faded to black once again.

#hannibal fanfiction #hannibal #nbc hannibal #post fall hannigram #fanfic #Hannibal is so down bad like oh my god u aint slick #not beta read btw #anyway pls leave a comment I'm very thankful for every reaction I get #Alexa play take me to church by hozier

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tricksterlatte · 4 months

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I saw someone on the bird website point out that just because people disagree with a fellow fan doesn't give them the right to bully or harass said fan, especially in such cruel ways (they were body shaming a well known Overwatch person because she shared a selfie, and the hate originated from her opinions on the character).

It's been driving me crazy how people somehow forgot you can disagree with someone's opinions without being an asshole. Why do we condemn bigotry or cruelty when it's directed at our friends, but hurl it out ourselves when opportunity arises to bash someone we dislike? It just makes me so sad.

This isn't about a specific situation but it's a problem i've noticed over the years. I have been both a perpetrator and a victim of this (if I said otherwise, I'd be a liar. I've been on the internet since I was 10 and have been active in multiple fandoms), but I don't want to contribute whatsoever to that type of environment anymore. We have to talk the talk and walk the walk with this one, or we will continue to be miserable. If you dislike something or someone, either communicate if this person is supposed to matter to you or vice versa, or just block them, mute them, unfollow them. Whichever suits your comfort level for whatever the situation may be. If you hate something or someone but still proceed to follow them, check their profile, and grab screenshots or QRTs to make fun of them, whether with petty jabs or actual bigotry and cruelty, you are not only making other people into targets. You are sending yourself into a spiral that will only harm you in the long run.

I know how addicting social media can be. I know how the instant gratuitous relief can feel when you vent about something within an echo chamber. And I don't think the answer is just don't vent, don't misconstrue my words. I think the answer is does this make you happy? I don't think this type of habit makes anyone happy. I know sometimes people change, and I really hope people can and do.

I don't say this as an accusation or to be mean myself, I say this as someone who suffered on my own end, not only from taking the brunt of harassment but also from indulging it on occasion. I used to be horrible about this type of fixation on things I hated within fandom during my prime days in my earliest tumblr fandoms, and I nearly fell into this trap again over the past few years. My irl situation was entering a state of despair, and during those times, without anyone trustworthy that shared these spaces with me and that knew me well in return, fandom felt like the one place where I had a semblance of control. That doesn't excuse belittling people. It never does. A reason is not justification.

It's a special type of hell, for example from my personal experience, to receive dozens of suibait anons about fanfic you published, whether it was from things I left blatantly tagged and easily avoidable, over my writing not being as good as others' within these spaces, or because people admitted they were envious of something outside of my control. Or people making fun of my cosplay photos or treating me as an object to be sexualized, no matter who they were or how they identified. I had old Retrospring anons sent that exploited my vulnerability regarding events only certain groups knew about, trying me during my worst of times. When I vaguely discussed them on other websites, without sharing things being said to protect myself and to not spread drama, I was largely told I was overreacting and to just delete them. Which I did, but they kept coming. I deleted anonymous ways of contacting me and closed off most forms of contact with fandoms other than a few long running places I've known for years (thank you WWD crew you guys are the GOAT). But even so. If I didn't have the person who is now my wife there for me at the right time, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Not everyone experiencing this type of thing has anyone there for them at all.

I have a tendency to ramble, so I'll summarize here: the only type of toxicity that will ever bring people joy is toxic yaoi, toxic yuri, Toxic by Britney Spears, and the Toxic TM from Pokemon. I want to get better myself, and I'm posting this because I hope for the best for anyone who read this. If you disagree with me for this, that's okay too. If you don't think this applies to you, it might not! I don't know you. None of us know each other, which I think should be further incentive to be kind, instead of ample opportunity to be mean. If you have the choice, strive to be kind over the escapism that brings us joy. For some of us, this will be the only kindness we may ever know.

#parker says things #this has been on my mind since the early 2020s but it's not the type of thread you can really post to the bird site #the character limit and the culture of ratios and QRTing for clout means this would hardly reach anyone #a majority of 2022 was one of the worst times of my life. I'm thankful I'm alive #I just hope for the best for everyone #things will get better but we also have to work to be better #and to be a bit more self aware #steeping in misery will only make the misery stronger and that took ages to realize for myself #long post #but yes pls don't misconstrue a specific origin for this post. It was about people harassing Mercy mains. Yes. That Mercy #my 2024 resolution is to be even kinder to people even if I dislike them #or especially if I dislike them. idk why them liking something I hate is relevant to them being a good or bad person #if I fall into that mindset I'm no better than the people who harass me or my friends either

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velvetineblue · 2 months

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I just want to share an OOC update with you all because it is funny and that is that I have officially Fractured My Ass. i cannot believe this..........................

#i tripped going down my parents wooden stairs and thusly broke my tailbone...#I HATE THis STUPID BAKA EARTH THAT ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME AJKDHJKHJK #i went to watch kung fu panda with family yesterday and my god............... the agony of sitting through an entire movie........#and then sitting through a car ride there and back.....#it's a pain you cannot understand until you Too break your ass.#u ____________ u #thank fuck for standing desks!!!!#and pls be careful with baggy pants on stairwells: YOUR SWAG ISN'T WORTH HAVING A BROKEN ASS !!!!#( the old ppl were right all along oh god..... they warned us of the danger of baggy pants and we never listened...................... )#( ThEIR PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED ................... )#( but also this fall happened abt a week ago so no worries i am fINE now i'm just still healing from it LMAO )

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that-was-anticlimactic · 11 months

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so i went to target with my mom today, and she said that this was her first time coming to target since all the ruckus. i stupidly assumed something happened in the area or like more store construction. but nah she meant the homophobic stuff she said that apparently target partnered with a gay satanist that's trying to force children into being gay??? by making shirts for three year olds that say "i'm queer" on them? (didn't see any pride merch for small children when i looked, btw).

anyways. it just made me realize that. my homophobic mom always brings kids into her stuff. she's not outwardly homophobic, but she's like "kids don't need to be exposed to sex at three years old" and i'm like??? that's literally not what queerness or pride is??? like genuinely i think some of the big homophobic propaganda out there is making it seem like we're trying to force kids to be gay. and that really freaking ticks me off. because any time i have discussions about sexuality with my mom (she does Not know i'm bi & dating a girl-gender neutral), she brings up stuff she's seen on instagram (my God she needs to get off she is being FED propaganda) where conservatives come out here saying that people are forcing homosexuality upon children. and yeah i'm sure some people are, but you never hear stories about parents beating their kids for being straight. or beating their kids for being cis. or kicking them out of the house or family. and it's just so sickening that this is the crap she's being fed. so now it's "gay people are a cult trying to force children into being gay" and that's. UGH. that's not it.

anyways it was kind of just disheartening to come to the realization that the common thread behind her arguments are always about how kids are being impacted by gay people (derogatory). she always backs up with stuff like "well i don't think man and woman relationships should be in children's media either" yet here we are. you can't just ignore the fact that relationships are everywhere. does the kid in a show have parents? well that's a relationship! that's not indoctrinating kids! oh but it is the second it's a gay relationship Got it. it just makes no sense. GOSH.

#tw homophobia #sorry guys just upset #sometimes i'm like maybe my parents aren't homophobic and i just suck and then i hear stuff like this and somehow that hurts more than me #thinking i'm being unfair by assuming they're homophobic #and the sad thing is that i Know i'm going to fall into that trap over and over again. every time i come home i'm like maybe i'm just being #cruel and assuming:/ and then it's small stuff like that and it sucks just sitting there and saying 'well i have gay friends so i don't lik #it when people say bad things about part of their identity' instead of saying 'IT'S ME YOU'RE INSULTING!!! IT'S ME!!!'#dang these tags are depressing guess it just sucks coming home and hearing that🫠#how to get my mom off insta pls and thank you #anyways maybe i'll delete this later??? idk this is kind of just a ramt and processing post🤷🏻‍♀️#oops i wrote a lot lol

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seokmattchuus · 1 year

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Hanbin being dethroned for fucking once. Maybe I cheered

#dumb fuck ted talk #mnet wants him center so bad i hate it here #i'm still upset over hot summer i hope he pulls a xiaoting #xiaoting however deserved better. that's my baby #but hanbin can fall idc 💀#humble him pls #it doesn't have to be drastic it can just be a little tumble. i'll be thankful #this show makes me so ugly i hate it here #boys planet

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ifimayhaveaword · 2 years

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Per the request of the sweetest lass, @saradika, for part of my birthday celly about 3 months ago, here's a podfic of this little mando + baby + reader drabble I did!

no warnings except soft

run time ~5:40

I did record this one on my mic, if only because a.) I had time alone that week that wasn't solely when i was at work, and b.) if I recorded it on the mic and it sounded like garbage, well, at least it was my own stuff and not someone else's work that got trashed ^^'

no-pressure tagging @corvueros @keeper0fthestars @ohheyitsokay @zinzinina @softanon @cinewhore

#project tag #the mandalorian fics #podfic #sorry for the exceptionally long wait my dudes.... it's been a while #and it'll be a while yet #but in the meantime #thank you J for the request & your patience & your unending support #have some soft on this bright chilly fall day #I didn't nail Din's voice in this one but I'm NOT letting myself beat myself up over it :)#thanks guys love you all mwah pls enjoy if you listen

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tvrningout-a · 11 months

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just popping in to say i feel better than i did earlier, and i appreciate everyone who sent in those lil asks! i might hang onto them for now rather than post them, but really, thank you very much <3

i'll be lurking a bit here and there, but i have a few things i'm trying to get done before tomorrow, and what happened today i think just took it out of me? bc i feel kinda drained. so forgive me if i'm not very present tonight ;n;

with that all said and done, please have a safe and lovely rest of your monday!

#tbh i think i could fall asleep rn if i tried and i don't know if that's bc my body is going through a thing #or bc of today's situation but either way i need it to stop getting tired when i wanna be active/productive :(#but that aside thank you guys again! i feel a lil embarrassed if i'm honest #which is silly of me #but i do appreciate whenever any of you go out of your way to be kind -- even just sending a meme like the one i reblogged #pls know i'm smooching y'all on the forehead u3u #get ready to ramble | ooc

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angel-thoughts-dump · 2 years

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the gif of angel being so happy buffy is licking his nipple is so funny to me because i have no context at all! to me (has only picked up buffy stuff through tumblr mutuals) angel is just really into nipple play! he just loves having his tits sucked and played with! who is this man!

#pls let me just publish this like this I have nothing to add its perfect thanks #angel btvs #also yes I'm nodding along #no wait just let me tell you buffy was the one that let ice cream fall into his chest #they were eating ice cream toguether in bed #and supposedly it was an accident but uhm #theres a high chance buffy is also into it and that it was her idea in the first place #but yeah I'm glad thats the knowledge you are getting of the dork vampire by the dash thats cool

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snippyrocket · 1 year

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hey, here’s an inbox call!

#( outofcharacter. )#distract me maybe? i'm falling apart at the seams rn lmao. *pleading emoji*#multis pls specify ur muses pls and thanks

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nagihono-stan · 5 months

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Loopgod dammit i fell for another dilf except he isn't an actual dilf because he's a father figure and not an actual father-

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allhallowstiel · 5 months

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hmmm.. not doing great at the moment!

#i love watching my family fall apart before my very eyes !#ik i'm an adult now. but i'm close with my parents so i hate to see them struggling #also pls don't reblog this it's personal thanks #i feel like i need to talk to my therapist but my next appointment isn't until december so. that's awesome.

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nereidprinc3ss · 25 days

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in the dead of night

in which spencer wakes up in the middle of the night with an overwhelming desire to feel you

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: fem!reader, soft dom!spence (certified nereidprinc3ss classic), sub reader, fingering, piv sex, praise, overstimulation, cr**mp*e (god pls we need a new term) a/n: this is probably THEE most self-indulgent thing i've ever written. but.... lowkey favorite smut i've posted thus far..... i'm such a sucker for disgustingly sleepy needy sex. just.... read it and u will see.... and as usual i love you!!! PLEASE tell me what you think!! MWAH

When Spencer got home around one in the morning, he’d been too dead on his feet to do anything more than get undressed, fall into bed, pull you close, and pass out. Now he’s slightly disoriented as he stirs, pinned between sleep and wakefulness as he realizes how you’ve curled into his side—your face is buried in his shoulder to the point where he’s concerned about your access to air—but each warm puff against his neck assures him you’re breathing alright. One arm is slung haphazardly over his shoulder and your top leg is wound around his. Without thinking, his hand cups the back of your thigh, stroking the bare skin where it presses against his hip. You’re never so soft as you are in sleep; plush, easy, gentle. Spencer realizes with some degree of frustration that he has to fuck you. That’s why he’s awake, and he condemned himself to the fate of it as soon as he touched you.

Sometimes the impracticality of sex becomes so apparent he resents his own mammalian, biological drive to reproduce. It was never like this before he met you. You reduce him to nothing more than a primate doomed to follow its basest instincts. You make him feel stupid.

God, he loves you.

It’s with this in mind he drops his head to kiss your shoulder—a gentle sort of wake up call, as his hand snakes further around to your inner thigh and he presses his lips to your ear.

“Baby?” he murmurs, kneading the smooth warmth of your leg. It doesn’t take much to wake you up. He thought after you’d been staying at his apartment on a semi-regular basis you’d begin to sleep through him getting up and coming home at odd hours, but if anything, you became more sensitive to the floor creaking or the mattress dipping.

“Hm?”

His fingers brush the fabric of your underwear. Your hips twitch.

“Is this okay?”

You inhale deeply, readjusting your arms around him and nodding into his chest.

“I need yes or no, angel.”

“Yes, please.”

The words aren’t desperate. They’re sleepy, mumbled, maybe even a little annoyed that he’s making you jump through hoops. The corner of his mouth twists in amusement at your perfunctory politeness and the way it poorly disguises your habitual impatience.

“Thank you,” he says, rewarding you with his fingers pushing between your folds through the fabric. You say nothing more as he unhurriedly rubs your clothed clit, but he feels the way your breath catches for a moment—before pouring out in one deep tide. He presses slightly harder, transitioning from passes to slow, tight circles that elicit the tiniest, sleepiest moans. This goes on for a while until your hips begin grinding in isolated circles, chasing his hand.

“Touch it,” you beg quietly. He can feel how damp you are through the fabric and realizes he was probably torturing you for several minutes, but sometimes he just gets so lost in touching you it becomes almost meditative. He pulls his hand away and snakes it between your bodies, sliding beneath your underwear and dragging his fingers over your puffy clit. You whimper but he quickly gets distracted when he realizes just how wet you actually are. Spencer sinks his fingers into you and moans lowly at the sound, rubbing at a spot deep inside you and rutting his palm against your clit rather than pumping his fingers.

“Breathe,” he reminds you when he realizes how still and silent you’ve gone. A small amount of air escapes in a tremulous little cry as your hips roll gently against his hand—whether to escape the sensation or get closer is unclear. “You’re all wet, baby. Were you touching yourself before I got home?”

“Mhm,” you hum weakly against him. “Couldn’t come.”

Spencer feels like he could finish at the thought alone—the nightly phone calls while he’s away occasionally devolve into desperate phone sex and he’s gotten off to the image of you playing with yourself in his bed on more than one occasion.

“We’ll make you come,” he promises, dragging his fingers from your soaked heat with bated breath.

He pushes your underwear down first, until you can kick it off your feet (you’ll have to search for it between tangled sheets tomorrow) and then his own, inhaling sharply through clenched teeth as his cock brushes your tummy. Spencer hoists your bent leg further up his body, exposing your cunt a little more and reaching underneath your thigh until he can guide himself between them.

The head of his cock pushes between your folds momentarily before he’s teasing your swollen clit, slipping the underside of his tip over it in lazy, noisy circles until you whine.

“Stop it,” you beg, voice still strained with sleep, “need it inside.”

“You’re right, baby, I’m sorry,” he croons, pressing his lips to your hair as he notches his cock at your dripping entrance and slowly begins to push in. “You’re being very patient—”

He cuts himself off as the two of you moan in filthy harmony. You’re so worked up for him, so defenseless in your half-unconscious state that he slips in with far less resistance than usual.

“Fuck, me,” he groans under his breath, hissing and bucking his hips when you tighten around him and cry out. He shuts his eyes and thinks of the Goncharov conjecture in an attempt to control himself; the i-th cohomology of the complex is isomorphic to the motivic cohomology group—and then he’s fine. He’s at least learned to stop rattling off mathematical paradoxes out loud during sex. “You okay?”

The only answer you have for him is an indecipherable whine that makes his chest ache. He rubs your thigh in sweet, soothing passes.

“I know, I’m sorry.” A thought occurs—he chuckles breathily, seeing stars as you throb around him. “You never let me in that easily.”

“Mm,” you squeak, gripping his shoulder hard enough that it aches and he truly couldn’t care less, “you feel good.”

He exhales shakily, pulling out slightly before grinding his hips even deeper into yours.

“Yeah? So do you, sweet girl.”

“Fuck,” you whimper, and he takes it as a sign that you’re ready to be fucked. Spencer’s not thinking about a whole lot as he withdraws all the way and you clench around him desperately—but somewhere in the back of his mind he’s realizing how much he loves your dirty mouth. When he was younger and dumber, he thought he’d prefer a girl who was soft-spoken and rarely (if ever) cursed. Now that he’s had you, he realizes how compelling and endearing the contrast of your soft voice is when you’re swearing like a marine.

“God, I missed you,” he breathes into your hair as he leisurely finds the right pace and you melt against him. “I missed how soft and wet you get for me,” Spencer admits gently, eyes screwed shut as he rambles from a place of profound affection and not at all thinking clearly, “and I missed how you cry when you need it so bad it hurts, and I missed how sweet you are when you let me fuck you right after I get home and you’re so tired, just like this. You’re always so good, honey, I don’t know what I did to deserve you—” You whine and clench so hard around him it becomes an effort to push back in, and he groans as he realizes you’re already coming. “Good girl, baby. Holy fuck.”

That last part is more so whispered to himself, but he can’t help it as he feels you painting his cock with your release. You’ve never come this quickly before, and he slips his arm beneath the crook of your knee, pulling up and granting himself more access to fuck you harder and faster. You moan brokenly, sinking your nails into his back.

“‘m sorry. That was—I didn’t mean to.”

“No,” he quickly assures you, breathing hard, “that was so good, baby. It was perfect. Don’t apologize.”

It seems the brief window between climax and over-stimulation has passed, and a gasp falls from your dropped jaw, arching into him as your body unconsciously tries to find relief from the sensation.

“Oh, god, Spencer, I—”

“You can take it, we’re getting close,” he promises. Not a demand, but meant as encouragement. “Do you think you can come for me one more time?”

“I don’t know,” you slur, the words rising to squeak.

“I think you can. Come on, show me how you were touching yourself earlier.”

You whimper, but slide your hand from his shoulder and push it between your bodies. A gasp accompanies the jolt of your muscles as you make contact with your clit, probably demanding too much of it. Soon, however, the conflicted mewls melt into a rhythmic string of delicate, short moans, so pretty it’s like a practiced song. Spencer’s brain, usually overflowing with words, is nothing but a void of swirling fog—each of your perfect sounds, a little burst of light. Soon he’s making noises of his own, which you obviously adore if the way you tense around him is any clue. Usually he sublimates them into words, but he’s too tired, and you feel too good. Your combined moans, along with the sound of him fucking you and the sheets moving over skin make for a truly dirty soundscape.

“Will you come inside me?” you beg breathlessly, and he can feel the movement of your hand speeding up as you get desperate. He sucks in a breath through his teeth at your plaintive request—the words bring him that much closer to finishing.

“Yeah, baby. I’m—fuck, I’m not going to last.”

“Spencer—” and somehow, when you say his name like that, he knows exactly what you want. He bows his head and finds your lips, mostly blind in the dark, kissing you messily until that split second where his grip on reality becomes tenuous before the building pressure finally bursts. Multicolored fireworks explode behind his eyes as he moans against your lips and continues fucking you through his orgasm in strong thrusts for as long as he can. Thankfully you finish again just as he’s running out of steam. He rubs the spasming muscles of your thigh deeply as you writhe against him in your typical push-pull style—you don’t know what you want and it’s his job to hold you still and make you take it. After a moment you quiet down, stilling in his arms except for the continued expansion and contraction of your lungs. “Oh my god,” you breathe. “I can’t believe I did that. That’s so embarrassing.” Spencer chuckles breathily—kisses your forehead with his eyes still shut and slips a hand under your shirt to rub your back.

“Why is it embarrassing? I liked it.”

“I have never—it’s never been so fast! It’s not supposed to be!”

“Why not?”

You huff.

“You’re the man. Men come too quickly. Not me.”

“I’m sorry you had to have two orgasms instead of one. Next time we’ll make sure you don’t come so we can even it out.”

You bury your face in his shoulder once more, immediately softening.

“No! I take it back.”

“I thought you might.” His hand slides down your back, squeezing your ass affectionately. “Let's rally. We need to clean you up, angel.”

The pillow muffles your voice as you say, “I can’t. I’m asleep.”

“Can I record you saying that for playback in the morning when you ask me why I let you go to sleep with my come inside of you?”

“Spencer, I am seriously not moving. You woke me up. This is not a me problem.”

That makes him laugh, and he presses his lips to yours softly. After a long moment of his mouth moving slowly against yours, a needy little whine rushes from your nose, and it becomes evident he’s successfully kissed the attitude from you.

“You were so good, honey,” he murmurs against your lips. Another (shorter) kiss. “Did so well. I’m proud of you, baby.”

A second soft whimper from you as you chase his lips and he gives in once, briefly—knowing he can’t make you get up after this. How could he do that to such a sweet girl when she’s obviously completely exhausted? Jesus, you have him whipped. He recognizes that. And he made peace with it a long time ago.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll clean you up.”

“Thank you,” you mumble, already slipping back into unconsciousness like you knew you’d get your way. Knowing your boyfriend, you probably did. “I love you.”

“I love you. Even though you’re a princess.”

You laugh.

Ten-ish minutes later, once he’s done the best he can cleaning you up and is throwing the covers back over both of you, you startle him slightly by speaking. He thought you’d been asleep.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you sigh dreamily, snaking your arms around him once more. Spencer’s cheeks heat up at the memory of the praise he’d shamelessly lavished upon you not long ago. He’s glad you’re barely awake, because he’s too flustered to think of a response.

He loves it when you do that.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x reader

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audiovisualrecall · 1 year

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Me: I have no time I have to be at work at 7 and I have to go to sleep by 11! I've been going to sleep after 11:30 to get to work by 8am, and that wasn't enough sleep, so I should be in bed by 10:30!

Also me: in bed by 11, stays up reading a fic until after 12am for some fucking reason and will now be getting 5 and a half hours of sleep at most. And will probably be late anyway, too. Yay!

#also the fic was So Good until the author made a choice for the explanation that makes little sense to me #if the alternate fitures were just simulations then Why and How are the injuries real #if the alternate fitures were just simulations then HOW are the injuries real?????!!!!!!!#futures*#pls. its giving me a frustration headache trying to puzzle that out aaaaargh!!!!!#maybe its bc its based on a canon episode where that is how it works idefk #idk if it is the case tho or if the event doesnt actually happen in a real episode but rather Could Have ie feels like one #anyway... I'm So Tired and theres 2 chapters left of the fic but it feels unsatisfying rn and a let down...#bc why canf they all be different timelines like who cares??? idk i like fhe general plot of this being helping out and thanking them #but idk why it cant be real timetravel looping #anyway i was in such a mood b4 and so stressed abt gettung to bed on time and its 12:22 and I'll be getting Less than 5 and a half hrs of #sleep now jf i fall asleep right now

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verysium · 5 months

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attractive things bllk characters (unintentionally) do?👀

i received this ask and decided to write this entire thing through a caffeine-powered fever dream. may have gone a little overboard. please pray for both your sanity and mine. thank you anon for your strong sense of imagination (or delusion, whichever you prefer.)

nagi lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, and you accidentally (or not so accidentally) get a good look at the droplets running down his abs and v-line. he also does the doorway lean while waiting for you to get ready. since he's so tall, he puts his one arm up on the top of the door frame while scrolling through his phone. when he feels drained of energy, he clings to you like a koala, face buried into the crook of your neck.

rin pushes his hair back when his bangs get in the way, and it shows off his ridiculously sharp side profile. sometimes you have to pause mid-conversation because the direct eye contact gets too intense. he has the brightest turquoise eyes in existence, and they stare right into your soul. pair that with the height difference and him towering over you. hang onto your ovaries because this man is about to snatch them. if isagi or sae are anywhere remotely close within your vicinity, he will personally drag your chair closer over to him. you know, the whole nick jonas chair pull thing? he also unintentionally clenches his jaw when pissed, the vein popping out and everything.

barou is polite to his elders. he holds the door open for others. he tips extra at restaurants. he is kind to service workers. he's just a gentleman overall even though he likes to act tough. he rolls up his sleeves while cleaning or cutting up vegetables, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearms. wears those form-fitting aprons where you can see the outline of his waist and the muscles in his back. he is not immune to raging pit bull moments, but he will calm down immediately when you ask him to.

kaiser requires physical touch to function. all concept of personal boundaries goes poof in his little ego-driven brain. he holds your chin so you look up at him while he's talking. also has that husky growl when he wakes up in the morning. he speaks german. what else is more attractive than that? if you stroke his ego, he will puff his chest out like an emperor penguin and flash that movie star smile. does not slow down his pace for you, and will laugh at your expense when you trip in heels and fall. but then he feels guilty about it and begrudgingly picks you up and carries you home. however, before that he will make you swear on everything holy to never tell isagi about his moment of weakness. (tbh kaiser is a menace and has some serious self-esteem issues. pls avoid dating a man like him in real life until he is fully mature. i still love him tho.)

reo mansplains but not in the condescending way. he does so in the "omg i'm so excited to finally get to share something with you and you're never going to believe it" sort of way. rambles on and on about his interests and gets that little glint in his eye when he's passionate about something. also not sure if this counts but he gets extremely depressed when you don't message him back within five minutes. what do you mean you were busy? he was out here dying from a literal famine. he needs your affection to survive. last but not least, he is good at styling. he knows what colors work best for you, and he will put together three new looks for you in record time.

hiori dreams that you left him for good and wakes up crying with his arms around you. will refuse to let you leave the bed even if it is just to get a glass of water. his rare moments of emotional vulnerability are what gets to you.

shidou does not condone any of your bad decisions. you want to get shit-faced and party until early morning? no complaints from him. you want to wear sexy outfits to the club? say less because he's about to enjoy the view and knock out the front teeth of every guy who dares to ogle you. i don't know if this qualifies as being attractive, but he would never be the controlling type. you can dress and act however you want. unfortunately for you though, this is also a textbook case of the blind leading the blind. if you get horrendously hungover, so does he. if you get pulled over, he's going to be too blackout drunk to even comprehend the officer's words. you can count on him for a good time, but not anything else. do not take any of his advice at face value.

oliver likes to show you off even if he doesn't notice it himself. any talk with his team, and he will find a way to make the entire conversation about you. at this point, the entire u-20 team is done with him. they placed bets that you two wouldn't last more than a month due to his philandering reputation, but the universe seems to think otherwise because you and oliver hit the six-month mark and are still going strong.

ness guards your drink with an unnecessary amount of protection. while you left to go use the restroom, he was looking left and right, and the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling every time someone even came close to your cup. he also shoos away any person who opens their mouth while standing next to your drink because apparently the condensation from their breath could be dangerous. definitely covers your cup with both hands even if it has a lid. no suspicious shit is happening on his watch.

yukimiya is well-read, and he wears glasses. he has a copy of every single classic out there in existence and will fangirl along with you over your virginia woolf collection. he was written by a woman with two cats and a wine glass. not much else to say.

loki absolutely clears the entire carnival/arcade game. you want that giant teddy bear that costs over three hundred ticket points? say less because he's about to win the whole damn pot. of all characters, i would say he's one of the only green flags. like celery green.

isagi always looks for you when he enters the room. intentionally or not, he always seeks your presence. if someone says a funny joke, he turns to you to see if you're laughing or not. also does that somewhat creepy stare thing where he just looks at you quietly while you do mundane tasks. internally he is screaming cus what do you mean you actually like him?

chigiri gives you that thankful little smile whenever you stand up for him. i feel like people don't understand how goofy he can get as he's canonically good at doing impressions/impersonations. also has the prettiest laugh. if he ever cuts his hair, i think i'm going to get a nosebleed.

noa unconsciously says yes to every question you ask of him. he'd be giving bastard münchen a hard time (and denying isagi's requests) but then immediately once you come over, he's automatically acquiescing to everything you say. the rest of the team is low-key shocked you can win him over so easily. when they confront him about it, he just shrugs and goes "y/n is always right."

kurona's entire existence is attractive. he's just perfect. nothing is ever wrong with him. will let you check out his shark teeth and lightly pokes your finger to leave an imprint. hopefully you'll always remember him that way. he's also quiet so he will listen to everything you say and give ample weight to your words.

sae is my baby girl so he gets a whole section dedicated to himself:

absentmindedly plays with your hair. when you're sleeping in his lap, he'll gently run his fingers along your scalp. sometimes in the morning when you're sitting up on the edge of your bed to do your makeup, he'll come up from behind you and brush back your hair. might also press a kiss to the back of your neck.

helps you put on your face mask. when he's shopping, he will buy you lotion along with his own skincare products. says that it was just a convenient store run but you know he personally made sure to get you the best quality ones.

this is canon because i said so: when he gets out of the shower, he slings the towel over his neck or his shoulder. he also involuntarily flexes his biceps when he bends down to grab something. has the world's most defined deltoids.

when you're stuck in large crowds at the airport, he puts his hand in your back pocket to keep you two from getting separated. if the TSA pat-down is anywhere too personal for his liking, he will openly glare at the officer once you've passed the security checkpoint.

bonus point: when you two brush your teeth early in the morning, he has that little bed head where his shorn-off bangs stick up in cute little tufts here and there. will have a dead look on his face, but his eyes soften when he catches your gaze through the mirror.

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