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demilypyro · 9 months

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Okay since this doesn't seem to want to go away here's me addressing every single "allegation" that I've heard about. I hope to have at least given a good explanation where the horrible things being said about me came from, and why I consider them either just totally not true or badly misconstrued. Some of my friends have recommended I don't say anything at all, but I've always preferred openness and honesty, so I hope that's appreciated.

I understand that some people will still dislike me even though the things being said about me are not true. That's fine. I don't need everyone to like me, but it's when I'm being consistently harassed and lied about that it interferes with my mental health and ability to work. So I'm gonna try and end things with this.

"She's racist"

From what I can tell this is about one time when I said I keep my interest in anime to myself around new people. I do this because showing you're a Huge Fucking Nerd right off the bat can make a bad impression. I could have said the same thing about Star Trek or comic books, I just happened to be talking about anime in that moment. Someone seems to have misconstrued this as me finding Japanese culture something shameful and lesser than other cultures?... Which I would call a total willful misinterpretation. The rest of this seems to stem just from being Dutch, because the Netherlands is a country that has a problem with xenophobia. This is true, but uhhh I'm mixed myself so I'm pretty well aware of that, and I obviously don't support our infamous "blackface holiday." Just because I live here doesn't mean I agree with everything this country does, be that historically or in the modern day.

"She's friends with racists/misogynists/transphobes"

The only thing I can guess this is about is when I was mutuals with a user called porko-rosso at least 5 years ago and didn't really believe it when people told me they were a bigot. I haven't interacted with this user in over 4 years but people still claim we're like best friends, which was never true in the first place, we just knew a lot of the same people. Most of the resentment from the people who repeatedly spread these rumours about me seems to have started here. So for the record: no, I am not friends with any racists, misogynists or transphobes.

"She thinks she's better than other trans women because she passes better"

This is just not true. This idea seems to pop up just whenever I post about enjoying the benefits of HRT or surgery, but most recently this was misconstrued from a post where I said being trans is about being yourself as much as possible. Since this was in response to someone saying that me trying to pass is "erasing my identity", people thought I meant trying to pass is the same as being good at being trans, which was not what I meant, but some people didn't seem to want to believe me when I clarified. My apologies for the misunderstanding I guess, but that's all it was. So no, I do not hate people who don't pass as well as I do, nor do I think all trans people should be transitioning medically, and I resent the implication.

"She has a secret discord server where she makes fun of pictures of other trans women and calls them slurs"

I had absolutely no clue what this was about when I first heard it. I was sent screenshots that supposedly prove this but all they show is me being rude about someone's appearance one time in january of 2022. I actually thought these were faked because I don't remember this happening and the things said confused me, but one of my friends says she found it was in her server, where she had showed a picture of someone and asked everyone present (mostly other trans women) if they were hot. Apparently I did not think they were hot. So yes, I did insult someone's appearance back in january 2022, but it was an isolated incident. Frankly even I find my remarks in these screenshots distasteful, I don't know what I was on when I wrote that stuff. I'm sorry to that person specifically. What I said has weighed heavily on me and I apologize for it. It's not something I approve of, and don't intend to repeat that mistake. Still, to say it means I hate trans women and I love to make fun of them in my secret discord server and call them slurs is just... a super-villain level of exaggeration. I didn't even know about the word that was named as an example. It's not true.

"She's often rude"

I can't deny this one. Autism gonna autism. I've seen many therapists, doctors, experts, what have you, to try and help me with this, but it seems my particular brand of autistic in combination with the cultural differences between mine and other countries just really often ends with my foot in my mouth when I speak English. I apologize! I have never meant to personally offend anyone. It just keeps happening and I can't stop it from happening.

If after reading all this, you still consider me bad enough to hate my guts, I can't stop you, but I wanted to have at least had my say. I swear that everything in this post is the honest truth as I understand it, and that I've never acted with purposeful malicious intent.

#and yes feel free to reblog and share #demilypyro #demily pyro

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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AITA for going off on a tattoo artist for giving me the wrong mandarin letters?

Context matters a lot here. I (23ftm) recently lost my partner to cancer. They were the love of my life and I dropped everything for them- I moved states away from my family so that they could be more comfortable in a dryer climate, I made sure to be there for them through thick and thin- the works. My family, though sad, were okay with it since I had never been so passionate about anything before I met them. Losing them has been nothing short of miserable.

They were Chinese and had a very strong connection to their language and culture, so I wanted to get a tattoo that translated to "My angel, my love" with "my angel" being on the top and "my love" being on the bottom onto my arm. I wasn't able to learn any dialects from them while they were alive since things had been so busy, but I thought maybe at least I could start with this.

So, I went to a local tattoo parlor that had a Chinese tattoo artist (I hope it isn't racist to assume, I've heard him speaking in Mandarin on the phone) and asked to get the translation tattooed. He seemed genuine and we got to work with choosing a font, the right location, and scheduling an appointment. It was very professional and I was really glad that it had gone smoothly since if it hadn't, I'd probably just give up entirely.

A week passes and I get my tattoo. A bit after as we're talking about it, I mention that I got it to commemorate my late partner, whom like I said I consider to be the light of my life. When I mentioned that, he sort of paused and had this look on his face, like when you realize you forgot something really important. He shook it off though and we got back to talking, but things seemed obviously more awkward now.

When I went home I sent a picture of it to my partner's family, and immediately they picked up that something was wrong. They didn't tell me what it had actually translated to, but it was apparently very inappropriate and disrespectful.

Needless to say I was breaking down. My partner had died, I was struggling with depression and fatigue from handling a lot of the funeral procedures, and overall that had been the straw that broke the camel's back. This is where I may be the asshole. I drove back to the parlor shop and found my tattoo artist, and I didn't get physical, but I had definitely wanted to. I was yelling at him, screaming about how he was a horrible shitty person, the works. He argued back that I should have at least given him a reason for the tattoo, since he gets white people coming in all the time asking for dumb stuff, but I shot back that he could have at least told me what he had done when I did reveal why I got the tattoo.

Again, I didn't get physical, but they did threaten to call the cops on me if I didn't leave since I wss making a scene, so I left and later emailed that I had at the very least wanted a refund, since they didn't even give me the tattoo I wanted. I still haven't gotten a response yet.

My family (both biological and in-laws) are very conflicted over this. Some of them think that I could have dealt with it a lot better, while others think I should have threatened them with a lawsuit (obviously there's inbetween opinions but those are the main two extremes). I can't afford a lawsuit considering I'm already dealing with the funeral funds like I said, but I don't know. I don't even know if yelling at the guy made me feel better or worse- it was an in-the-moment response to be sure.

So, with more context, AITA for yelling at the tattoo artist who gave me an inappropriate tattoo instead of the one I really wanted?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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chut-je-dors · 1 year

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Hello! Do you happen to know any good resources for learning Finnish? As basic as possible, I literally started on Duolingo half an hour ago:) I know, I know, I'm a poser for learning Finnish *after* Käärijä, but the language sounds soooo interesting (although I've heard the grammar is quite difficult...). Thank you in advance and also love your blog:)))))

Hi!! So very very ecstatic that you've decided to learn Finnish! No reason to feel ashamed that you'd only start after Käärijä... believe me, in Finland people are just altogether very taken if a foreigner wants to learn Finnish, no matter the reason. (And all reasons for learning a language are good!) (And we're SO SO PROUD of Käärijä, he's done a monumental job of bringing our language to the public eye more than ANYONE ELSE BEFORE so, yup! He's a VERY good reason to start learning Finnish!!)

I'm not sure if I'm the right person to point you towards any resources... But I tried finding some for you! I've checked out the Duolingo course and it's a good place to begin! Here's also a drive folder that has some Finnish language books as PDFs.

Also here's a page for beginner's Finnish from our national news media Yle (it's like our version of BBC).

Here is a "picture book" kind of a page for learning names for objects, good to start with!

Here's an online course for beginners! This has grammar too, and links for further reading and studying.

Finnish is also notorious for having it's written language differ drastically from how people actually speak. We don't have accents per se, but dialects instead, which don't just affect the way we pronounce words (=accents, as in English) but the way we form them. So for example, the written Finnish "I am" is "minä olen", but in spoken Finnish it can become e.g. "mä oon", "mää oon", "mie oon", depending on where you live (and there might be some more variations as well but these are the most common ones.) Many foreigners find themselves in a spot where they can read and understand written Finnish pretty well, then the moment a Finnish person opens their mouth it's a bloodbath. But don't let it deter you! And Finnish people are more than happy to switch to written Finnish if you don't understand them. I found this website for learning the basics for spoken Finnish!

A good place is also good ole Youtube! Just type in "Finnish for beginners" and you're set to go!

Finnish is a difficult language to learn because of the grammar and lack of prepositions if your language has them... but look at it this way, I struggle with them in any language that uses them cos I haven't grown up using them. I still occasionally mess up with in/on or for/to (it's even worse with French and Swedish). Doesn't stop me from writing 100k fics in English apparently!

Welcome to learning Finnish! Remember that the most important thing is to learn the swear words, you'll go far with those. Just drop in a perkele and it's always the right thing to say haha.

Jokes aside, I'm very happy to hear this! Finnish is a very beautiful language and a very inventive one as well, which allows for more word play and creativity with the language than, say, English for example. And while Finnish is difficult, you'll find that once you've learnt the rules, there are no exceptions to them or the kind of hassle with the grammar as there is to English or French. I've known exchange students who've learnt near perfect Finnish in less than a year!

If anyone knows and wants to add more good resources here, go ahead!

#suomi #finland #finnish #eurovision #käärijä #i was so glad to receive this ask!!#i hope you have a good time learning finnish #welcome to the party it's crazy <3 #also check out spotify lists of finnish songs! you might find some artists you like #bless you nonnie!!#anonymous #answered

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silver-slates · 4 months

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My thoughts on Disney's Wish (Spoilers)

Let me preface this by saying that I haven't heard all of the negative things that have been circling around the movie, but I've heard more than a few things that painted a pretty grim picture of the movie before I went to see it. I was going in expecting something akin to Strange World going in, which I really didn't like (and that's coming from someone who likes unique worldbuilding.)

After I left the theater yesterday, my thoughts were just, "This is the worst Disney movie of 2023?" I really didn't have any issues with it at all, and even if I usually tend to have a more positive outlook on movies I watch in comparison to others, I just have to say that this was NOT a terrible movie. Disney has had a LOT of blunders in 2023, but I can't say that this was one of them. I know that a lot of people out there might disagree with me or even hate me, but Wish made me feel something that I don't feel very often: magic.

It's hard for me to know what specifically to talk about since I don't know about all the criticisms the movie's gotten, though I do know about a few. The first one that sticks out to me is the movie's art style, and how some people have called it ugly and even unfinished looking. But... I honestly don't get it. Nothing strikes me as unfinished, and I never found the art style to be irritating. It was something new, and I thought it was fine. It uses shading and colors that are a bit flatter than some of their previous works, but I saw that as it being a sort of in-between of the 2D look of the classics and the 3D look of the newer movies. There was probably only one time where I noticed something was slightly off, and that was where Asha is waving around some flags at the beginning and having no motion blur or smear frames on it looked a little awkward. I can also understand how some of the shots can feel a bit flat, but once again that's something that makes it feel similar to the 2D classics.

Up next, I heard some things about some of the characters being trash. The main two I heard about were Asha and King Magnifico. Some of the main things I heard concerning Asha was that she's dorky and silly to a fault, and what I have to say to that is that although she's pretty silly at the beginning of the movie and sometimes it can be a bit embarrassing to watch, that's just Asha being Asha before the adventure kicks off. As the story progressed, I thought that she learned to be more serious over time as she learned the truth about the wishes and Magnifico and what she really wanted to do, and most of her antics after that point are mostly concerning the actions of other characters. I never felt like she was silly in places where it was inappropriate, and I actually ended up liking her a lot. As for Magnifico, I haven't heard anything specific about him other than the fact that he's supposedly the worst Disney villain of all time. But... I just don't see it. His motivations are believable (according to my standards), he's shown to be a narcissist who doesn't truly listen to other people's criticisms, and him turning from a king who wants to maintain order while very rarely giving people what they want into a power hungry madman who wants nothing more than for his subjects to bend to his will and lick his boots feels in character for him and it had the right setup. I thought that the supporting characters were all good as well, but my least favorite was probably Valentino. He was alright and he did his job, but he really felt like more of a gimmick than anything else.

The next thing I want to talk about is the music. I don't know if anybody's had a lot of bad things to say about it, but I thought the songs were great. After Encanto I was wondering what they'd have in store for this movie, because although Encanto had some banger songs there were one or two that I didn't really like. Not so for Wish though, because I liked every last song that was in the movie. I'm... not really sure what else to say here.

I heard about there being a few cameos in the movie as well, and I picked up on a lot of them as I watched it. But the references feel tasteful, not overblown and obvious, and something you'll really only notice if you're looking for it (except for the Peter Pan reference maybe, but that's just one.)

One last thing I want to talk about is how I've seen some people calling the film's main source of conflict something that makes Asha a bad person. Basically, they say that her mission goes against Magnifico's warnings of what could happen if everybody is allowed to keep their wishes and that there could be some serious consequences that she's too headstrong to consider. But... they address all these points in the movie. Even if someone's wish turns out to be a rotten one, you can always try to step in and make sure it doesn't get too out of hand.

And I think those are all the things I had to say concerning Wish. I personally feel like it paid some good tribute to the animated classics with its story and familiar themes, and it was a good way to celebrate 100 years of the Walt Disney company, though I'm well aware that there are plenty who disagree. If there are some things that I didn't cover or consider please let me know, and I'd like to hear what you all have to say about the movie as well.

#disney #disney wish #wish 2023 #animation

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the-apples-were-monitored · 1 month

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i've said before that it is completely out of line to look at a person recounting painful memories of childhood abuse and then bring up their past mistakes and i'm standing by that. i know some of you are going to jump on me for saying "mistakes" but this isn't me trivializing. this is me looking at things in context.

i haven't seen these supposed sources where they say drake bell's victim admitted to lying. i looked at news sources from the time and looked at statements given and haven't seen it anywhere in there that she admitted to lying, which i would assume would be front page news. if anyone wants to direct me to something verifiable that isn't part of a tiktok conspiracy, i would be interested. i have seen that bell wasn't convicted of actually touching the girl and they found no evidence of pictures ever being sent. the internet keeps vaguely saying the girl stalked him before and lied about her age and i don't know how true that is. it's always reprehensible to groom children and there isn't a justification for that. a few years ago i might agree with commentators saying "you don't just not know that someone is 12" but i worked at space camp for the past few years and there were a few times where i was looking for my assigned group and was told that the group that i'd assumed were 17 and 18 year olds (because they were taller than me and more muscular or filled out) were actually 12 and were actually my assigned group. idk what they're putting in the water but i assume it's these damn tiktok beauty standards. and i often have the opposite problem - when i was 16, people would assume i was 13. now that i'm 29, people assume i'm 19-14. i have a friend in her mid20s who is constantly mistaken for a 10 year old boy. it is fucking hard to tell how old someone is and if it's true that she was in his shows which were meant to be 18+ he'd have no reason to know her age. i've seen commentators state he immediately broke off contact when learning about her age.

i want to give benefit of the doubt in this case. i want to believe that the apology given was with complete accountability and remorse. imagining being in his position and realizing he may have contributed to an unsafe situation on par with one he himself experienced may have been a huge wake up call for him. i want to remind everyone though that we are not called on to forgive drake bell. we're not the wronged party in the case. the only one who can give forgiveness is the victim and victims do not owe that.

and with that i feel i should say that i can unfortunately believe that the domestic violence accusations may be true. the timeline seems to match up with the years immediately following what happened with him, the years he'd be more likely to flounder and struggle with the secret he was keeping. who knows what unprocessed trauma he was living with? it doesn't make it okay by any means (and again we are not the ones tasked with "forgiving" him and victims don't even owe that) but it makes a certain sense in context. i do think drake bell needs to come forward and tell people to stop attacking his ex on social media because come the fuck on. just because someone went through something horrific doesn't mean they can't do fucked up shit. i know i've done fucked up shit and i've worked through it as best i can. internet harassment and hate campaigns are not the way, but we didn't learn that lesson with amber heard (who i 100% believe sorry not sorry).

i think we need to move on from this mentality of holding people (particularly child stars) up on pedestals then dragging them down when they do fucked up shit. i have to believe people can change and grow. i'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt so long as a pattern doesn't emerge. we need to move on from thinking that there is a "perfect" victim or that if someone has transgressed in later life that means their victimhood doesn't matter. we can mourn the child that drake bell was. we can mourn the child that amanda bynes was. we can mourn the person that all these people could be if they weren't swallowed by this cesspit. that is a separate conversation from talking about the ways they fucked up after coming out of that environment irreparably damaged.

leave behind the mentality that to show compassion for another human being is the same as "forgiving" them. and move on from the mentality that you personally are the one wronged when these people's lives have nothing to do with you.

#feel free to reach out to me if new details emerge or if i get something wrong #i've been microdosing on this situation because steeping myself in it would be bad for my mental health #but if i'm online i'm willing to keep talking about this #rape tw #abuse tw #quiet on set

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justablah56 · 1 year

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oh my god these little freaks (affectionate) got me in a chokehold- I haven't written any kind of postable work in like 5 months and then oakworthy looks at me and suddenly I've cranked out a 1.5k long oneshot thanks guys

[ao3 link]

Normal was not ok. That was a fact. After the... events... at the Church of the Doodler all Normal really wanted was a hug, but no one had offered so he wasn't going to ask. So, there he was, sitting in the back of the cat bus (or the pussywagon 2.0, if you asked Taylor) by himself. Everyone else had gone outside, the team had decided that on their 2 week journey back to the portal they would take a 3-4 hour break every other day so that they didn't get too restless. Normal however was the opposite of restless. He was just tired, so he sat, arms wrapped around his legs which were pressed up against his chest. It was the closest thing he could really get to a hug at this point.

He didn't want to think about anything. Everything was too much and he was probably going to start crying soon if he kept thinking about It. It... really was just like him, wasn't it? Wanting to just not be alone. Hurting the people he cared about most. Not knowing how to deal with any of it...

He was broken out of his thoughts when he... not necessarily heard? More like became aware of -he wasn't exactly seeing or hearing or feeling anything at the moment- someone approach him.

He looked up, not really seeing anything. That was probably just from the tears. Even though he wasn't crying. He made a small questioning noise, hoping it would get his meaning across. Why were they here, what did they want, could he help them with anything?

"H-hey Normal" Ah. It was Hermie, he could recognize that nasally voice even when the pathway from his ears to his brain was fuzzier than the giant cat they were traveling in. Though he sounded... strangely like himself. Or at least, Normal couldn't find any recognizable character nor the usual (apparently false?) confidence that was often found in Hermie's voice.

"Oh hey Herm!" Normal started, willing any composure he still had to cover the shakiness he currently felt, "d'ya need something?"

"You- could say that. I wanted to... ask you something."

"Okay? What's up Hermie?" Normal uncurled from his self-hug in an effort to look more okay than he felt. There was no time to be worried about himself now, his friend clearly needed his help if he had approached Normal without the mask of a character to hide behind.

"I wanted t- I mean, feel free to tell me to fuck off if this is weird- I don't mind, but I just- well, ah-"

Normal cut him off, "Hermie, just tell me what's up ok? I'm not gonna kick out or anything." He offered Hermie what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Could I have a hug?" Hermie asked, softer and more vulnerable than Normal had ever heard him. Normal could Hear the shake in his voice, the face distorted as if bracing for impact if Normal refused. He could picture Hermie almost perfectly, despite not really Seeing anything, besides a splotchy shape in front of him.

Normal was a bit taken aback. Of course he would give Hermie a hug, even if half of the reasons were a bit selfish. But the fact that Hermie had asked for it surprised him. Also that Hermie was willing to hug him. Even his dad was iffy when it came to giving Normal hugs. He usually just gave an awkward laugh, saying something like "oh, I wouldn't want to take away from your stench!" or.... something like that, Normal was barely thinking anymore.

However, he was apparently also not responding to Hermie either, because Hermie once again broke Normal away from his thoughts as he began stuttering out apologies, "Ah haha, I mean- sorry I asked, that's probably a weird request and i- actually i-it- it's fine! I didn't-"

"Hermie," Normal interrupted, "of course you can have a hug, c'mere." Normal held his arms out, a physical invitation on top of his verbal one.

"Okay," Hermie said softly, Normal could hear the relief in Hermie's voice almost as much as he could feel his own.

Hermie carefully maneuvered himself into Normal's lap, sitting between Normal's legs sideways, swinging both of his legs over one of Normal's. Hermie hesitantly leaning against Normal's chest, arms tucked to his chest, making Hermie appear even smaller than he already was.

Normal immediately wrapped his own arms comfortingly around Hermie, though Normal wasn't exactly sure who was comforting who. Even if Hermie hadn't at all meant to comfort Normal, just a simple cuddle was enough to calm the storm of his thoughts.

It brought tears to Normal's eyes. The slight but still there pressure of Hermie made Normal feel safe. He wasn't exactly sure why that made him cry, but it did, and if he kept trying to figure it out he would only cry more, and that might make Hermie move and that would be much much worse, so for now he would just not question it and bask in just being able to Feel it.

Normal didn't know how long they sat like that in silence. It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. But however long it was, it was broken when Normal felt Hermie shudder against him and let out a small gasp as he felt tears falling onto his arms.

Normal offered what he hoped was a comforting hum and began rubbing circles against Hermie's back with one had, playing with his hair with his other hand. Normal always found it nice when people played with his hair, so he hoped it would help Hermie as well.

"S- sorry Normal," Hermie mumbled once he had mostly stopped crying.

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry for Herm," Normal said, just as quiet, "do you.... want to talk about it?" Normal knew he wasn't the only one who had a rought time at the Church of the Doodler.

He felt Hermie shake his head against Normal, "Not really," Hermie said numbly, then he added, "thank you though Normal, this is... this is nice." Hermie punctuated this by unfolding his arms from his chest and wrapping them around Normal's middle.

He thought it felt nice when he was holding Hermie? Well Hermie holding him back was just enough to really break through to Normal. Normal let out a quiet sob, god he missed hugs.

"You- yeah, of course Herm, any time," Normal whispered, "I think... we both needed this."

Hermie hummed his assent, "Yeah... y'know, I'd also give you a hug if you asked."

"Oh." Normal gave up on trying to fight back his tears. They would fall eventually, whether that was now or later Normal didn't care anymore. He felt safe here goddamnit, and it was nice to be able to just hug someone and cry together. He buried his face in Hermie's hair. It had a surprisingly soft texture, one he wasn't able to feel just with his hand. It was... Comfortable.

Normal couldn't really remember the last time he was this comfortable. Sure there were plenty of times where he felt safe, loved even, but none of it felt like this. None of it felt like the warmth he felt with Hermie snuggled to his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath, the complete surety with which Hermie now pressed against Normal. Hermie's arms wrapped around him. The trust that was an almost physical thing surrounding them.

He was warm, he was comfortable, he felt safe, and he was tired. He was sure that the other teens and maybe even Mr. Li-Wilson would tease him a bit if they came back in to find him and Hermie napping together, but at this point he didn't care. This was nice, and he would rather stay here forever, even if it meant he got made fun of a bit.

#my art #kinda #im counting my writing as art because i can #who's gonna stop me #they are soooo special to me #hermie is so dear to me but i do not think i am capable of writing in his pov lmao #normal oak #normally oak swallows garcia #hermie unworthy #hermie the unworthy #oakworthy #dndads #dndads fic #dndads fanfic #dndaddies #dungeons and daddies

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fledglingmaster · 2 months

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I don't like putting a lot of negativity out and I prefer balance...so I'm going to highlight the good that has happened as well lately. (Mostly talk of birds.)

My stress relief is being in nature. After last week I needed to spend time outside. Plus, I need to get back into the habit of walking. Most of the snow has melted for now.

A few days ago I went for a walk. The place I usually go has some main paved trails that take you around but there are also more natural paths in wooded areas. I enjoy walking both.

There's a local witch that likes hiding crystals for people to find and keep every once and a while. It's just a nice thing to do and it's business promo. She puts them in areas that people usually walk, so not super tucked away. Because of this I haven't found any myself, early bird gets the worm as they say. But I did find a tiny pink dyed heart! I believe it's quartz though it could be agate. Such a small thing but I about cried.

Then I saw my first wild bald eagle. I was seeking a pileated woodpecker, they're fairly elusive around here. I spotted one some months back. My mom also spotted one a few days prior around the same area. As I was looking for a woodpecker, maybe a hawk if I was lucky as they like the same area, an eagle flies over my head! I was in shock! I'm nearing 32 and I've never seen one in the wild, let alone have one fly over. I didn't get a photo but I had the experience, it meant a lot considering everything I've recently gone through.

I continued my walk and ran into the herd of 5 deer that I've been missing dearly. (Thank you, I'll see myself out.) I was able to get pretty close. I think I took my best deer photo yet from one that decided to rest in front of me. I felt so honored. As I'm walking back on the paved trail I hear the eagle vocalizing. If you know what bald eagles sound like, it is the weirdest, dolphin-esque, "that is not a bird" sound. In media, for whatever reason, most birds of prey you hear are actually dubbed over with the cry of a red-tailed hawk. I mean their screams are impressive...still I'd rather hear the bird's actual call. Anyway, the sound came from the river. I've been sharpening my location skills, I'm decent at finding where sounds are coming from. I was able to follow along the river and spot the eagle on the other side. As far away as the eagle was, my photos are poor quality. But once again, just seeing the eagle was magical. I haven't taken the pictures off my camera yet, once I do I'll post them on here.

With all of that happening in one day, I'm taking it as a sign that things are going to be okay.

So yesterday, I went back hoping to see the eagle or deer. If not, just being in nature is lovely. I did find the deer again. I swear it's like they have a gps on them as I'm just pulled to where they are. Deer energy is different from any other animal or human. I never knew how much I connected to them until this summer. After I spent some time with them I heard a woodpecker knocking. I followed it hoping for a pileated but expecting a downy as we have many of them. They're very cute. It was neither! It was a red-bellied woodpecker. They were too high up to get a good photo, but I was able to positively identify them. I'm starting to think I should have an official list to check off for birding.

Also, I'm so close to being done with work on my teeth. I'm really hoping I can have my smile back by summer. If not, at least I'm closer and I should have my denture this year for sure.

#personal

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ilikeyoshi · 4 months

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yknow what i had an epiphany this morning. i think a lot of the "older ppl treating kids like they're stupid assholes" problem comes from the well-intentioned place of, as we get older, we DO learn and grow, and when we are older than a given person we want to reassure that younger person that like, listen, you'll survive this, or you'll figure this out, or so on.

and because it's coming from good intentions a lot of adults just don't realize it's not actually that useful to kids or teens or early twenties ppl who need to be heard and listened to and helped NOW. especially because when we were younger, everything felt like dismissal, if not derision, but now we're older and we think we're being reassuring and helping younger people learn perspective.

but i can tell you it still looks like derision on the outside, and i bet you anything a ton of the adults who treated us like shit thought they were helping too. "it gets better," "it takes practice," "you'll figure it out," is all like, TRUE, but when you're 5 or 12 or 18 or 21 it doesn't address anything going on RIGHT NOW. around like, 26, "it gets better" started TO be helpful to me because i'd lived through enough shit that this is a real, tangible, proven fact, and not just something i have to trust even though it FEELS abstract and frankly doesn't actually do anything to help me with a problem Right Now.

like. you know how so many people genuinely don't expect to live past 16, then 18, 22, etc? i think this is a big factor into why it usually kinda stops after 22-25, because, well, you HAVE lived every time, and you HAVE found the truth in it gets better, you'll figure it out, etc. but before that it feels insurmountable. and frankly, for a lot of people, it IS insurmountable. youth suicide rates are absolutely insane.

i think i can see this bigger picture mostly because i've just thought about it a lot, because the shift from "everyone i know agrees we'll never treat kids the way adults treated us" to "why are all these decent, compassionate people treating kids like shit?" was so jarring and apparent to me, but if i dig deeper i've fallen for a lot of little traps too. it used to annoy the shit out of me when younger people disregarded anything i said, until i stopped and realized all i WAS saying was, "it gets better," and not only does that not help or solve anything Right Now, but it (not inaccurately) implies that this isn't a Real Problem, it'll solve itself, you'll be fine. and that feels so belittling and demeaning and dismissive when you're younger and you just haven't lived through as much shit yet. i remember being told shit like this! it feels like no one cares. it feels like i'm not Allowed to be hurt or upset or angry until i'm old enough that any problems i still have become real to other adults. it SUCKS.

and ironically i figured out why this kind of reassurance—which has its place and is absolutely useful and good in the right contexts!!—sucks when you need help or relief NOW through a friend who was going through something i went through when i was 13. like. to me, this was already proven as Things People Can Survive, but to my friend, this was the first time it was happening. this had never BEEN survived by them before. they were almost 30 when we had this conversation!

and it made me realize how patronizing and useless "it gets better" sounds when you've never even SEEN better yet, and even if you had, what good is "better later" when you're hurting now? i think kids get SO MUCH "it gets better" and not nearly enough "help now" that of course it feels like dismissal and excuses and resentment. and if we as the adults who have survived things aren't careful, it CAN literally at its core BE those things. it sure was for me!

edited to add: like i think the biggest thing i see happening is kids being treated like stupid dramatic jerks for Feeling Things. and i think a lot of these kids would be a lot more receptive if they were ever told, "hey, the feelings matter. even if in 5 years this doesn't hurt anymore, it hurts now, and that deserves to be acknowledged and helped now." like that'd often what i wanted at least. i almost didn't care if it stopped being hard later, it's hard NOW, it hurts NOW. you survived it, great, how do i survive it? what did you DO to survive it? what would you do differently to survive it now that you're older?

#yoshi talks #sorry for all the no rb. you see i don't trust tumblr but i do trust the ppl i know and love who've fallen for this too #suicide //

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talesofsorrowandofruin · 11 months

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heyyyyy! if you're still doing the dragon asks game, can I request fire and poison? 👉👈 thank youuuu ❤

Thanks! :D

Fire: share a snippet with some dialogue you’d like to show off. Here's an excerpt from Houses Full of Deceit:

With heavy sarcasm he asked, "What do I owe this pleasure to? Have you been hired to kill me or have you come to turn yourself in?"

Colman laughed. Just once, and with an odd rattle in his chest. "Neither. You'll never believe this but I've come to you for help."

"Really." Yo-han leant against the door-frame. "What sort of help? Did someone hire you to murder their enemy and now won't pay?"

"Not quite. Have you heard of the Hastings murders?"

"Not a word," Yo-han said. Now he regretted not buying international newspapers regularly.

Colman looked up at the ceiling. He didn't sit up, or prop himself up on his elbows, or move any part of his body except his head. "Horrible business. Husband, wife and three children all dead. Shot in the head. And guess who's got the blame?"

Yo-han frowned. "You didn't kill them?"

Colman gave him a downright offended look. "Have I ever killed children?"

To be honest Yo-han had no idea. He'd never been able to work out how many murders Colman had actually committed. Luckily Colman didn't wait for an answer.

"I was in Italy when the Hastings — Hastingses? — were murdered in London. First I heard of it was when I was recognised at the Italian customs. Had to run for my life. Got hold of a paper and discovered the whole thing's been pinned on me. My picture's in every paper in England and most of the ones in Europe too. So I decided to leave Europe. Got as far as Siam by pretending to be a missionary, then I met an attaché of the American embassy in a bar. He'd just been reassigned to Japan. So I got him drunk, stole his tickets, and got on the ship under his name. When we stopped at Seoul I went for a walk around the harbour and never came back. Then I wormed my way into the British embassy, found your address — you'd be amazed what people will say when they think you're Lord So-and-So — and came here."

"You seem to have had a very exciting time," Yo-han observed dryly. "And when did you get injured?"

Colman's casual façade cracked. As he looked at Yo-han, weeks of exhaustion and fear showed on his face. "How did you know?"

"You haven't moved once since I arrived. Either you're unbelievably lazy, or you're trying not to aggravate an injury."

Colman moved his left arm away from his side. "Remember when I said I ran for my life? I meant it. In Bangkok I was recognised again. That was why I resorted to something as stupid as identity theft. The guy went at me with a garden fork, believe it or not. It's shallow but hurts like hell."

Poison: share a snippet that’s all about relationships (good or bad). Here's an excerpt from Silver Glass:

This is not how David wanted to bring Alec into his bedroom. Alec is still shaking. He collapses onto the settee and stares into the fire. David pours him a glass of water and sits beside him. He wraps his arms around Alec's waist and rests his head on his shoulder.

"You'll have to marry her," he says. Alec makes a noise like a wounded animal. "Listen to me. She can destroy us both. You'll have to marry her, collect evidence against her — do you think she'll be faithful? — and divorce her the first chance you get. Ruin her reputation so well that no one will believe anything she says against you."

Alec cranes his neck to look at him. "But David…" He closes his eyes and visibly steels himself to continue. "No church will marry us, no law recognise us, but in my heart I'm married to you. I can't stand in front of God and man and swear to take that woman for better or worse, forsaking all other. It would be a monstrous lie."

David kisses him. He tries to pour all his unhappiness, all his rage at the situation, all his love for Alec into the kiss. Alec responds in kind.

When they break the kiss David presses his forehead against Alec's. Alec wraps his arms around David and pulls him closer. They watch the fire together.

"I couldn't continue this relationship with you," Alec says sadly. David knows him, knows his efforts to reconcile his sexuality with his religion, and was expecting this. "I'd be legally married to her, so I would be breaking a commandment."

"Aren't we already breaking commandments?" David asks. He doesn't want to be a married man's secret lover, but when the marriage is a sham built on blackmail it can hardly be considered binding.

Alec smiles ruefully. "Not one of the ten commandments, unless you count this as covetousness. I can list every reference condemning us, but only adultery is forbidden in the ten commandments."

They fall silent for a while. Alec has stopped shaking. David can guess what's going through his head, and knows his decision before he declares it.

"In the morning I'll tell her I agree to marry her," Alec says, and he says it as if he's reading his own death warrant.

David tightens his grip on him. The morning. It's afternoon and morning is getting rapidly closer. He calculates how long it will be before their absence is commented on. Not long enough. Especially if they miss dinner. But after dinner…

To hell with restraint. He can sneak out of Alec's room and back to his own before the servants start their rounds.

"You know, we haven't had our wedding night yet," he says.

Adding Deceit's and Glass's taglists: @lightgriffinsect, @oh-no-another-idea, @kittensartswriting, @writingpotato07, @sarahlizziewrites, @acertainmoshke, @author-a-holmes, @sam-glade (Let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

#ask #ladydawnxx #writing #my writing #my WIPs #WIP: deceit #WIP: glass

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thankchaosforspellcheck · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,499 times in 2022

That's 799 more posts than 2021!

77 posts created (5%)

1,422 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@brawltogethernow

@pocketramblr

@they-bite

@annabelle--cane

@modmad

I tagged 1,221 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#svsss - 83 posts

#danny phantom - 40 posts

#dcu - 38 posts

#orv - 36 posts

#batman - 34 posts

#scum villain self saving system - 33 posts

#dp - 32 posts

#mdzs - 29 posts

#shen qingqiu - 25 posts

#tgcf - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i know a person who thought ''e'' was for ''everyone'' and was very confused and disturbed when they kept getting smut instead of gen fics

My Top Posts in 2022:

Modern Roommates au for the MXTX white & red groups

Xie Lian, Shen Qingqiu, and Lan Wangji all live next door to Wei Wuxian, Hua Cheng, and Luo Binghe.

On the Heaven Line (I've seen that one used once so I'm going with it) side:

LWJ moved in specifically because he heard WWX was moving in.

SQQ (actually SY) moved in while trying to escape Cang Qiong academy after a 4-year long-con came to a head.

XL moved in because the rent was super cheap.

On the Demon Line side:

WWX also moved in because the rent was super cheap.

LBH moved in specifically because SQQ moved in.

Hua Cheng owns the building but doesn't want XL to know that yet.

296 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

Anybody else think it was a fucking waste that Dub!Haruhi doesn't actually call everyone "dude" and "bro". Like, I get that was a translation thing, but I would pay to see Haruhi call the other hosts that like:

"Tamaki-senpai. Dude. You need to chill."

"Oh, honey-senpai! What's up bro?"

Like picture Haruhi saying this completely unironically and just try and tell me you wouldn't be cackling.

318 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

Imagine if you transmigrated and had to fake being a competent adult for years before finally finding someone else who also transmigrated from the same time as you... only they liked all of the memes that you found super annoying and you're now wondering whether you should kill them anyway.

That's cumplane.

443 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

the REAL reason why everything worked out in the end of SVSSS is because, despite the system's and literally everyone else's best efforts, Shen Yuan made the whole thing a comedy through pure, sarcastic force of will and everyone knows that the difference between a Shakespearean comedy and a Shakespearean tragedy is that one ends with a wedding and the other ends with a funeral.

498 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love Scum Villain. No one has any idea how the fuck Qi-deviations work, and no one really cares.

People get de-aged and amnesia and fucking animal ears and MQF is just walking in 10 minutes late with xanxia fantasy starbucks like:

"oh. yeah. that's definitely a Qi-deviation. they'll be fine in a couple days. or they might die! who knows."

and no one can even blame him because he's the only reason all of the dumbasses on Bai Zhan peak haven't keeled over from doing something stupid.

In nearly every other series by mxtx Qi-deviations are like barely a thing that comes up, and are generally fairly reasonable things like "oh he had a qi-deviation so he tried to kill everyone and then died horribly" but not fucking SVSSS!

816 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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manie-sans-delire-x · 2 years

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I'm sorry but there is evidence of Depp's violence, one of them domestic, outside of his relationship with Amber, in addition to him being intoxicated and high inappropriately for a long time now. Since Heard is his most recent serious relationship, his past domestic history is kind of a moot point. Not to mention how the court has already found sufficient evidence of 12 cases of abuse prior to this defamation case. Oh, but Amber must've bribed the judge, right? He believed her because she's a woman, right?

I also think it's sad that you can say "Depp may have lied about his injury to defend amber as abuse victims tend to do" and then say "Why did amber not record the abuse/go to a doctor after the rape?". Please tell me you can see your double standards (not to mention how she HAS taken photos, such as her bruising, with everyone strawmanning saying it's photoshop, makeup, nail polish, fucking botox... They don't believe women.) Depp has told multiple people, not just the doctors, that he cut his own finger off. Let's say he did it to lay low as you say, there's still proof, CE included, that amber had gashes from her wrists to elbows and feet, and Depp may have hidden the abuse from others but somehow Amber couldn't have done that? Does that really make sense to you? She has medical documents. But oh they're probably fake, right? +All of Amber's past spouses/partners speak highly of her as well, or at least don't say anything against her. They're not really comparable considering how publicized Depp's relationships are compared to Amber's, though.

Depp's own witnesses have testified against him (albeit kind of unknowingly) declaring abuse. If you're following the case closely you'll know how the trial is happening in virginia and not cali and why this is the case, and how the psychiatrist that assessed Amber is complete BS and not even board certified, about the damning info about his lawyer, about the bot accounts, about the kind of people Depp is friends with... does none of that scream shady to you, but Heard not having full capital E Evidence makes you think Depp is innocent?

I'm not saying Amber is an angel, I'm sure she had her mistakes, but if I had to believe anyone it wouldn't be the middle aged man with substance issues that has married a woman half her age, fantasized openly about burning and then raping the corpse of the said woman, has dated a teenager, and one that laughs at amber's face and acts like a fucking baby in court.

Actually, fuck that. Not to sound like a radfem, but at this point I don't care if Depp's is innocent or not. What his actions are leading to is inherently harmful to me and my life as a woman. I'm no activist, I've never donated a nickel to a charity in my life, but this trial has taught me a lot, and it's that yes all men. The entire thing is a fucking circus show with the abused woman as the jester; men may think she's entertaining and they're sooo funny but I'm about to pull an Aileen Wuornos and be fucking hilarious. It's self preservation at this point.

Oh ok, idk I haven't heard of previous DV but I wouldn't be very surprised, you might be right about that. I know he's attacked paparazzi before, but many celebs do, understandably. Depp is definitely an alcoholic and drug addict, but that doesn't mean he's an abuser. Heard is undeniably an alcoholic as well. I wouldn't say his past domestic history is moot at all, past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior, its very telling. Yeah I've only recently heard about the 12 previous abuses, and you're right, that is a big point for Heard. I hope they discuss it in this defamation trial. I have no idea what the details of that are, so I cant say anything there.

Heard was clearly in the habit of taking pictures of any wounds, and constantly recording, she made a point of it, so no I don't think its a double standard to ask, well why not the time when it was most severe? Sure, she could have simply been too traumatized to think clearly like that, and thats certainly possible and understandable. It could also just mean it didnt happen. If the vaginal injuries that she said occurred occurred, she definitely would have needed to go to a hospital. And again, why was abuse not caught on tape when she secretly recorded so often? Hm...I've heard all the opposite of that- that Heard's exs talk badly about her. I hate how hard it is to know what the truth is... Ultimately only Depp and Heard will ever know the truth. The experts keep saying her wounds were faked, and what basis do I have to argue against that, I don't fucking know anything. I can't just assume they're wrong because I want them to be or don't like their professional opinion. Pros can absolutely be wrong or lie though, I understand your doubt. From what Ive heard no one has ever seen wounds on Heard...

Uh, I haven't heard a single of Depp's witnesses say basically anything against him. All of them speak quite highly of him. I'll look that up later, since of course I haven't watched every bit of the trial. Oh, I didn't know that about Virginia. Why is it not set in Cali? If thats true, wtf, I dont understand how the courts would let a uncertified person give professional testimony? I definitely think it's sketchy that Depp is friends with Marilyn Manson, and that Manson also recently sued his ex, who claimed abuse, for defamation. That's a red flag, I agree, and its one of the reasons why I swung over to Heard's side for a while. But still, legally speaking, that is not any evidence of guilt.

Heard also has substance abuse issues, but yeah I agree that dating someone half your age is another red flag. And yeah the raping the corpse text was vile, but again, either of these things are a crime. And as much as it suggests Depp being abusive or misogynistic, it could also be seen as an abuse victim (who is prob drunk/high) showing anger and resentment about his abuser/toxic relationship to a friend. Same with how he acts in court, I could see a victim being so sick of the manipulation, and angry, that they just laugh at the absurdity of the blatant lies. Just saying, its possible. I personally find that dubious as well though. From what I've seen he's been fairly respectful throughout the trial though. Snarky sometimes, but I don't hold that against him. Anyone would in that situation, especially with a lawyer like Mr. Rottenborn. I also admit that I find him witty and charming, even endearing, even wise, his subtle insults are undeniably funny, so yeah that definitely makes me and other people biased and favored to him. Unfortunately Heard simply does not have that social power.

I feel your pain, this is the reason why I sometimes feel genuinely emotionally/mentally impacted by this case. I've always been a fan of Depp as an actor, and as a person. I would have considered him a celebrity crush, which is rare since usually I give zero shits about any celebrity. Yet again, another man, stranger as he is, may have betrayed my affection, admiration, and general trust in the most disgusting manner. Makes me want to kill him too. No matter what happens in this trial, the doubt will always be there now, and I'll never see Depp the same way again. And jesus christ, if Heard has been truthful- how horrid, how evil, how sickening this whole thing is for a victim. Its enough to make you lose all faith in society, humanity, lose all hope for women ever being free.

#asks #depp v heard trial

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mlobsters · 8 months

Text

supernatural s8e18 freaks and geeks (w. adam glass)

it's todd! (i hear he's doing good stuff in the white lotus but i haven't seen it)

the magicians s4e2 lost, found, fucked - adam dimarco as todd

(with our good pal the alpha vampire, rick worthy who is The Best and is so good in that show just talk to me if you wanna watch through end of s4 🥴)

SAM Yeah. Um, Cas dinged you up pretty good. DEAN And? SAM And I just wanted to make sure you're okay. DEAN What, like my feelings? SAM If that's what you want to talk about, sure.

DEAN Okay. I'll tell you what. Why don't I go get some, uh, herbal tea. SAM Okay. DEAN And you can find some Cowboy Junkies on the dial. SAM Eat me, Dean. DEAN And you know what? We'll just talk it out. Good talk. DEAN gets out of the IMPALA and starts walking toward the Sheriff station after SAM. DEAN Nay, great talk! Very healthy!

this is the part of the fic where sam takes him seriously and gets the tea and music and then dean has a breakdown and they cry and kiss it out

baby teen wolf paige back again and think i heard dean's extra big brother mode boot up

KRISSY You know, he does, actually. Oh. A small town called "kiss my ass." AIDEN Okay. But... You sure were giving off a different vibe in the car.

real making out in the car with fake feelings as vampire bait.. and she's how old again? wiki says 15. yeah.... and apparently her dad is dead now too. okay.

KRISSY Look, I don't need you to save me, Dean. I'm not a little kid anymore.

the hug, the mantra. i've watched enough cult documentaries by now....

this is so hamfisted. look how this dude is doing the exact opposite to how sam and dean were raised in hunting. beautiful stable home, hugs, affirmations, schoolwork, mr rogers cardigan. got it, show!!

DEAN This is crazy. SAM Is it? They got a pretty good life. DEAN Kids aren't supposed to hunt, Sam. SAM We did. DEAN Yeah, and look what that did for us. SAM Well, maybe they're doing it right. Maybe they can hunt and have a real life. DEAN You know that's not true. SAM Why, 'cause it didn't work for us? DEAN Because it doesn't work for anybody.

back at this old chestnut

VICTOR You want any? SAM Uh, I don't know. VICTOR pulls out a wallet and starts to bring out pictures of his family. VICTOR Trust me, the answer's yes. SAM These yours? VICTOR Yeah. Well, until we went camping and a Wendigo ripped them to shreds.

trust me, you want kids, here's mine who were brutally murdered by monsters that you also hunt.

VICTOR But you know what I realized, Sam, is that these kids, they don't have to live it the way we have. You know, crappy hotel rooms, always moving, no family, no life. It's not the only way.

is this the very special episode where we (sam) learns that no, you can't live another way, trouble comes home and wipes out your family if you try

or the very special episode where paige learns that things aren't always black and white and maybe a 15 year old can't really do the due diligence

daily thank you that his sideburns have been wrangled. cardigan man up to no good, quelle surprise

cardigan man's logic is not logicking. in the slightest. get a bunch of kids orphaned, get them to kill more innocent people for training. what. right after he scoffed at sam not being able to understand because he doesn't have kids. sam, if you had kids, you'd understand why i had to kill these other kids >:(

jackles sounds like he got padalecki's cold from a couple episodes ago lol

just gonna ignore how that all ended and say the bits with dean and paige were sweet at the end.

DEAN They're hunters now. You don't just walk away from that. There's only one way out of that,and you and I both know it ain't pretty. SAM Maybe they'll be different. DEAN Or maybe if we shut that hell hole once and for and all, those three can have a real life.

lol hero shot "maybe i too could have a real life if we close the gates of hell..."

(nevermind vampires etc wouldn't be affected????)

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 8x18 #adam glass #adam dimarco #the magicians #spnhiky #hiky

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the-apples-were-monitored · 6 months

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general rules for customers in a retail store that actually make our lives so much easier:

i've been in retail most of my working career and people do some fucked up things that i'm just like...okay i was basically raised by wolves and i would never do some of the shit you guys do (talking to you, lady who left bloody tampon underwear in the tj maxx fitting room). so here are rules to behave in public just in case you didn't know.

(1) if you don't want to put something back where you found it, give it to one of us. flag us down or give it to us at checkout. it saves us time and doesn't make the store look trashed. throwing it in a random place means we have to spend more than an hour after we close the store hunting for out of place items and putting them back. i've heard people claim they're doing this to help us have jobs. putting aside that it doesn't even make sense, no the fuck you're not. you're not thinking of job creation when you put something in the wrong spot, you're not thinking of anything. you're being lazy. we're literally not even mad at you if you give it to us. some us us work 3 jobs or have kids to pick up or have chronic disabilities and want to go home. please don't make us have to spend time cleaning up after you. (also why do some of you put something almost in the right spot when the correct peg is right next to it? it's not so hard to just put it in the correct spot.)

(2) don't just throw shit on the ground. i work in a halloween store and people throw masks and hats on the ground. that's gross. would you want to buy a mask people might've been stepping on? why are you throwing it on the ground when you can put it back?

(3) things that go on pegs have holes at the top of the packaging. those holes are used to slide onto the pegs. don't put a mask on the peg by hanging it from the elastic band or by putting the mask itself on it. the cardboard packaging is what goes on the peg. it's not that hard.

(4) if you pulled something out of the costume, we're not asking you to refold everything and make it nice (nobody has time for that) but please put it back in the package and don't throw it on the floor. i know the packaging can be a bit confusing but slide the cardboard piece in first, then put the clothes in the side that doesn't have the picture so other customers can still see what kind of costume it is and so it doesn't look like trash.

(5) don't touch animatronics you haven't paid for. they're fragile and we have 5 broken ones. no you can't pull the face off an animatronic to use as a halloween costume

(6) this one isn't exclusive to halloween stores but go a month early to get stuff for holidays. if you wait til the week before or god forbid the day of any holiday, the good stuff will be sold out and it will be your own fault. by the time halloween rolls around, most major retailers have backrooms full of thanksgiving and christmas. there's no sense in getting mad at us for not having anything good left the day of.

(7) please don't walk in wearing nothing but a banana hammock. can't believe i need to say this

(8) if a store has what looks like low shelving in front of the register that's in a maze shape, they want you to walk through the maze to get to the register. yes it's partially to tempt you with useless items but the maze shape helps lines not get super out of control. if you just have an uncontained clump of a line, the store can get confusing and crowded very quickly. making the line wind through the maze gets more people into a smaller space. please don't just cut to the front even if it looks like no one is in line. go through the maze. and if you have to wait in line, wait at the end of the maze, do not just stand directly behind someone. give them space while they make a transaction. can't believe this has to be said. i miss when we had rules to stand 6 feet apart sometimes.

(9) retail employees are not responsible for an item being out of stock or your card not being accepted

(10) check your coupons to make sure they're not out of date and don't expect employees to have extras at the register

(11) put down your phone during the checkout process that's super rude oh my god

(12) pay attention in line. don't stand in a clump talking. don't mosey over super slowly either, move in a timely fashion because people are waiting behind you

(13) don't hit on employees unless you know them

(14) make sure you had money cashapped to you before you get to the register. don't hold up the line by calling someone to get money

(15) don't be gross. the fitting room is no place to clip toenails or masturbate

(16) store policy isn't the fault of the employees. return policies don't always mean you have a few days from time of purchase to bring it back. particularly with seasonal stores or holiday items, the receipt will specify that there is no money back on those items after a certain point because the odds of selling that stuff after the holiday is very slim.

these are such simple rules. wish people would follow them.

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tiikerikani · 1 year

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A crack in the glass

This post is incredibly difficult to write, there's just so much to process. Except for putting on the radio this morning with my alarm, I haven't had any music on since Saturday night...

I didn't even make coffee this morning. Today I worked while putting together the Lego I got for my birthday and making some paintings. (You already saw one in the previous post, there's another I'll post after this one, after which this title will make more sense.)

2023.05.06 Logomo-sali, Turku

I guess we can start with some nice stuff.

The Viking look is kind of my thing now? All of the pieces of random medieval/Viking garb stuff I'd ordered arrived just in time for this magnificent outfit inspired by the album cover colors.

(I also had a blue bandana over my hair which isn't in this picture, and it was cold so I ditched the hand fan.)

The gaggle (again)

I noticed the gaggle almost right away upon getting my stuff dropped off at the coat check, so, as had been suggested, went over to say hi. So who are they really? The gaggle consists of a Finnish couple and a German couple. They were suuuuuuper wasted that other time in Tampere (which explains a LOT, really) and yeah they seem the party type (which isn't MY type, but I've had a lot of practice awkwardly bullshitting along in undergrad).

The Finnish woman was like "yeah we've spoken crappy English with each other for 10 years"; at least she has not found that to be a barrier to making friends... The German guy was going on about how they've gotten sometimes to hang out and get drinks and other goodies with the band after shows and I'm thinking what if I glommed myself onto these people but I really can't do the party personality thing.

The number of chairs in this room is too damn high

That is, way over 1000 seats. I was close to the middle, so you're seeing only like half the width of the room here. Kinda sucked that the floor was just folding chairs but at least there's more elbow room than if we were jammed into a crowd.

Fanclub Founder was next to me (again! what are the chances?? she's local though).

Before I forget, the music stuff

The performance was being taped for their next live album (yay!). They didn't mention this until a number of songs in, but it had the effect of emboldening people to sing along more loudly.

I hope they don't use this take of Samaan mutkaan kaatunut though, because there were some things I didn't like about it. (For one, there's a minor goof in the intro and for two, they kinda went straight into the preprogrammed transition track rather than letting the song end on the piano motif.)

Fanclub Founder doesn't know this (and I think she may have thought my reaction interesting) but Senpai can REALLY STOP MOTIONING AT ME ON THE ONE LINE ANY TIME NOW

Exodus got the backing vocals, well, back (all 4 of them)

I am still not entirely convinced about the extra brass parts but ok

I'd already pointed this out on my Instagram last time but Markus has fun 🍄 socks that you can only see when he's on the cello :P He's also got a cheat sheet on the floor in front of him for this song, for whatever reason.

(Been a while since I last took pictures of the acrobatics routine.)

Fanclub Founder handed up a wholesale box of mints before they lined up for bows, which made Very Serious Security Staff a little nervous (it's not the first time I have seen somebody make this offering).

Hey this wide-angle thing on my phone is great, I can actually get all 18 of them into the picture from the first row. (Also, that is TOO MANY!!)

The aftermath

The gaggle went almost immediately to the adjoining bar after the performance. At some point a gaggle guy popped out to ask me whether I'd seen any of the band members yet. I hadn't, so he went back to the bar.

The bathroom queue was easing up—and as I returned to the lobby after, I heard the final strains (again!) of Happy Birthday from one corner and it turned out the whole ladies' quartet was there with somebody, who was shedding tears of joy. [1]

I should probably further point out here that at least Heini and Jepa have also solo careers independent of the band so they have a bit of their own cult followings. (They are also incredibly friendly, so there's that.)

So yeah I missed my chance there... but I did catch the two of them to get their playing card pictures signed.

Blonde fangirl appears to attended alone (minus second blonde fangirl), and tells me I'm not the first person to collect signatures on the cards, but how would I know, I don't come from the kind of background that would enable me to go to art school AND for all intents and purposes LITERALLY follow them around to EVERY show. But in the interest of fairness I asked her to sign the card with her dedication note on it too.

I managed to flag down a couple more people for their signatures, but after that, the whole place was pretty much cleared out and the folks working the merch table even put everything away already before Pate showed up to take the stuff out back. He offered to take my stack of cards and get them signed by whoever was still around. The building is absolutely massive so it took a while and I'm loitering awkwardly waiting for him to come back because by this point the place was deserted and it was just Very Serious Security Staff watching me impatiently wondering when I was gonna get the heck out of there.

Anyway, he suggested I could talk to merch lady next time before the show and she could help get the last two signatures sorted. [2]

__________

[1] Incidentally it was also the birthday for one of the "regular" pair of ladies who, well, at least the one of them, is friendly and invites me to have a coffee or drink with them before we're let into the room.

[2] He had forgotten that Jukka-Pekka is even on a card and as a roadie of course he was still there but it didn't make sense to run all the way back again just for one card.

The after-aftermath

I'm sad I didn't get to talk to Senpai, especially since it was (almost) my birthday. I know it's just life and I'm nothing more than just one random fangirl and I shouldn't intrude on their (professional) lives nor expect anything special.

But on the other hand... some of the other groupies HAVE had special treatment? Like blonde fangirl and her illustrations on the cards? And the gaggle have had the privilege of partying with them? How do I earn this?? Is it like a five-year groupie privilege or something (I'm making this up)??

They weren't going straight home either; I'd asked Pate and got a little clingy about it and was politely told to go away. The rest of the players had left after he got the signatures for me, and it was just him and the roadies who were still there packing stuff. The gaggle reappeared from the bar and he also sent them away after a few words. Next time I'm around it will be the end of the spring tour so if it were me, I certainly wouldn't want any outsiders crashing THAT party (and it wouldn't be my birthday anymore anyway).

So I went back to my lodgings and cried for half an hour, left an apology on his Instagram, and ate Hesburger on the floor while crying for another half hour:

...I know I'm being a little unreasonable. I desperately want to be around people who care that I'm having fun, who value my presence and enthusiasm, and who kind of see me as an individual on some level (however superficially), and those rare occasions when I am, I never want them to end.

Because I can feel it:

This fire is going to die if I keep just feeling so bitter and alone after these shows. The whole run this spring of what will be 5 shows in 3 months is a bit…mentally taxing, tbh. Especially so because of this. But for now seeing Senpai is still worth it for its own sake, and I would lose even more if I stopped going and just stayed home. [3]

As a small consolation (OK it was not actually the intention but let's call it that) I had organized a small birthday meetup for geocachers Sunday afternoon (which was my birthday proper anyway). I don't even geocache all that much anymore, and I was hoping I'd have cool "shenanigans with Senpai" stories to tell, but at least it was 45 minutes of things actually being "officially" about me. (Also, there were Swedish-speakers!)

__________

[3] Incidentally the Fall tour schedule was published today and the only date I kinda even feel like going to is in December. They're Kind of a Big Deal enough now that they're booking a lot of arena and resort shows and I'm just trying to avoid those for as long as I can, because like this one felt like way too many people. even if I didn't need to look at them from the first row.

Fanclub stuff

From last time: Very Serious Security Staff walked over to get somebody to put their (small) paper sign away (and at another point mistook somebody's white phone case as one) Turns out the latter was actually Very Serious Security Staff being (mistakenly) Very Serious against people filming the performance. They were either misinformed or simply didn't ask the band whether this was allowed, because they have never forbidden it, and have even encouraged it, so people who weren't there can enjoy it too. (But OK be reasonable and don't just film the whole thing???) I mean heck, even boyfriend and I both filmed a few clips.

There was some debate over whether it was appropriate that people sang along and stood and danced (at an ostensibly sit-down show), especially for those on the floor level where we were just chairs instead of tiered seating. This is a bit of a tough one, since they were also kind of encouraging this (considering you usually want crowd noises on a live recording). I don't (really) dance but I certainly sing/shout to everything I'm confident to the words for and dramatically gesticulate (what I lack in vocal technique I compensate with body language), and it was nice to learn that Fanclub Founder actually appreciates the latter. (Feelings seemed a bit ... cold the last time we met.)

In my latest bid to try to be relevant, I decided to follow a few of the regular groupies on Instagram, or at least some of those who seem to tend to go through the tags.

#music #concerts #vesterinen yhtyeineen #i swear to god fangirling is such a dang rollercoaster #sad fangirling #forever alone #this post is too damn long #but the outfit IS hecking magnificent

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rendevousz · 3 years

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not a secret anymore

natasha romanoff x fem!teen!reader

summary: nat reveals a secret to the public when your class takes a learning journey to the tower.

requested: yes

warnings: might come off as half assed writing because this probably is one of my worst works i'm so sorry 😭😭

word count: 1681

notes: i'm so sorry i haven't been writing much, i've recently just gotten extremely busy so i had no time to sit down and write (this one was literally written between all the short breaks i had 😫) and i have a few requests piling up so i hope you guys can understand if they come later <3

"hi, y/n!" ally, an agent, greeted you as you, along with your classmates, walked through the east wing hallway of the tower. your classmates—except for peter, ned and mj— turned to look at you with confused looks.

your class was having a learning journey at the avengers tower and you had contemplated on calling in sick to avoid people who worked in the tower acknowledging you around your classmates.

you were actually an avenger—yeah, crazy—, having been rescued during one of the many avengers' hostage rescue missions few years ago. you were able to single-handedly take down a few of your captors, hence why the team took interest in you then.

now, though you had been trained enough, they decided to keep you a secret in order to protect you. lord knows how many people would try hurt you if they ever found out the avengers had a new, teenage recruit. peter was technically still safe as his alter-ego is masked so you had no choice but to only go on missions that weren't in the public eye.

you also lived in the tower so the agents and staff were undoubtedly familiar with you, some even friends with you, just like ally, who had just passed by with a wave of her hand at you before turning the corner.

"did that lady just acknowledge you?" an annoying voice spoke from beside you in a mocking tone. you gulped, not wanting to respond to flash's irrelevant question.

"hey, loser, i'm talking to you," he nudged your arm with his elbow and you held the urge to grab it and flip his whole body upside down. it's not like you couldn't—you had the skills, obviously— but it's the fact that you didn't want to get in trouble for that.

you ended up keeping quiet, like you always did whenever the boy taunted you. peter taught you to do just that. if it were up to you, flash's stupid face wouldn't even dare to show itself in front of you anymore.

speaking of peter, he was nowhere to be seen by now. you internally rolled your eyes. it had only been two minutes and they were already gone. peter was probably showing them around the place. you had no idea how your teacher didn't notice the three of them missing from your group. you were so going to kill them for ditching you and leaving you alone when they knew they were your only friends. they were also the reason why flash still had his head to this day because they'd stop you from doing anything rash. now you weren't sure if flash would be safe from your fury.

"you probably work here as a cleaner on the weekends or something, huh? that's the only way people here would know you," flash jeered. you let out a breath, trying to control your anger towards the boy.

you rolled your eyes, opting to deliberately ignore his insults and walk away instead, hoping you'll bump into those three idiots of friends of yours.

"did you just ignore me?" flash asked incredulously, as if it was a crime to ignore his annoying ass. he pulled you back by your back collar, effectively halting you in your spot.

by instinct, you grabbed his hand that was on your collar, twisting it and turning his whole body around, pinning him against the wall with his twisted arm pressed against his back. it happened in just two seconds which totally caught flash off guard, the boy groaning in pain as he begged you to let him free.

you could hear a series of gasps from all around you and you internally groaned. this is why you always ignored flash's taunting. you didn't want to attract attention to yourself and have people wonder how you could defend yourself so well. but flash just had to provoke you. especially here, out of all places.

"what's going on here?" you heard a familiar voice ask and you sighed.

"oh my gosh! it's the black widow!"

"miss romanoff!"

"oh my gosh, i'm gonna need to get a picture for my mum later, she's gonna freak out!"

you stepped away from flash, releasing him as he dramatically kept rubbing at his arm. as if you even put that much pressure. flash smirked, seeing this as a chance to complain about you to an official avenger.

"this girl right here," flash points an accusing finger at you with a glare, like he wasn't just practically begging for his life twenty seconds ago. "attacked me."

you rolled your eyes, unamused. "i hardly attacked him." you told nat. the woman turned to you, an eyebrow raised as she gave you a knowing look. "this...?" she trailed off and you nodded, knowing what she was insinuating. you'd told her about flash one too many times for her not to immediately figure out who he is from a crowd of students.

"flash thompson. heard a lot about you," she turned to the boy. flash's face lit up, thinking he must've made a name for himself or something that even the black widow knew him. little did he know he did, but not for good reasons.

"i would prefer if you stop messing with y/n/n." nat gave him a sharp look and that grin was immediately wiped off his face. "i– y/n/n?" he stuttered, confused that the natasha romanoff is calling you by a nickname.

"you do know she can kick your ass if she wanted to, right? she's been silent all this while because she didn't want to hurt you but you just never seem to learn, huh?" nat took slow, calculated steps towards him until she was towering over him.

"she doesn't need anyone to protect her because she's fully capable of that but i'm just here to warn you, kid, that she, is not to be meddled with. i'm saying this for your own good, flash thompson. she's capable of much worse than whatever she just did to you. so if i hear you messing around with her or any of her friends," she pauses before continuing with a whisper. "i'll close one eye on whatever she wants to do with you."

you wished you could've taken a picture of the dead scared look on flash's face; it was priceless. you turned to nat once she stepped away from him and she put an arm around your shoulder, leading you both away from the watching crowd.

"i–i'm sorry, miss romanoff," you could hear one of your teachers say and nat stopped, effectively stopping you too as she had you in her hold. "but miss y/l/n is on a learning journey with us and she'll miss the tour of the tower if she leaves with you. we'll be discussing a lot regarding this trip in class and she won't understand what we talk about if she misses this tour. i hope you understand." he spoke nervously.

"with all due respect, y/n's seen the whole tower already," she smiles at him but you could tell it was fake. "even the avengers' residential floors which are closed to the public and most employees of the tower."

your teacher looked at her wide-eyed, mouth open but nothing coming out. nat smiles a fake one once again. "now if you'll excuse us, the both of us have avenger duties to attend to."

gasps could be heard all around you and in the midst of it all, your best friends came back and you made eye contact with them, all of them having the same shocked look on their face.

"avenger duties?! nat, what are you doing?!" you whisper-yelled at the woman who seemed to be enjoying the reactions of your classmates and teachers.

"y/n!" peter ran over to you, your other friends following suit. "oh, um hi miss romanoff," he greets shyly. "thanks a lot, guys, look what happened." you spoke sarcastically, rolling your eyes at them. nat proceeded to drag you away from your friends and the last thing you saw was them mouthing apologies and you half-heartedly mouthing to them back that it was fine.

"relax, y/n/n, the public were about to find out soon anyways." nat said nonchalantly. "what?!" you exclaimed once you two were in a different hallway.

"yeah, you're gonna have press this weekend for this. we're gonna officially announce you to the world as an avenger." she once again says nonchalantly, as if this wasn't the first time you were hearing this. "wait, wait, wait, seriously?" you asked in disbelief. no one had told you anything.

"yeah, i—ohh yeah, you don't know yet," nat remembers and you give her an unimpressed look. she wasn't usually this dumb; she only showed this side of her to you. "sorry, i uh, yeah.. i was supposed to come get you for this. meeting with fury and the rest, yknow?" she tells you and you nodded slowly, taking in the information.

"but tell me it didn't feel good that you got to do that to flash," the woman states excitedly and you playfully rolled your eyes at her. "you got to do something. i'm practically an empty threat to him," you stated matter-of-factly.

"not after this weekend you're not. he'll be afraid of you after. that's what you get for being a smelly bully." you couldn't help the little smile on your face. she really sounded like a child right now and it was adorable.

"alright, natty, whatever you say. let's go before fury releases his fury." you look at her hopefully, waiting for her to laugh at your joke which she responded with an unimpressed look. that of course didn't work as you two burst out laughing looking at each other's faces.

you walked alongside her, the woman resting an arm around your shoulder. you smiled up at her as she talked about her day.

god, you couldn't wait to be able to finally walk out in public with these people you considered family.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky @marauvdersfate

#marvel x teen!reader #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #avengers #avenger!reader #mcu x teen!reader #mcu x reader #avengers x avenger!reader #natasha romanoff x avenger!reader #peter parker x reader

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