#MY MOM HIT ME BC OF THIS

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

#spilled ink #writeblr #:) lol . anybody notice how i write about dads in second person exclusively #me: haha silly cartoon #also me: ): this child is not getting what they need #also btw this is about a father but it might apply to any parent or caregiver #there's a really weird space of like #''this person was technically around me but either ignored me or was actively harmful to me'' #and like u learn this very strange ritual of like... this person is my parent/caregiver on a technicality #that you almost spend all ur time with them like... tiptoeing and acting as THEIR parent so u don't upset them. #like you're 17 and ur mom is suddenly hit by a wave of wanting to talk to you so she's like :) lets make breakfast together :) and ur like #uhhhhhh okay?? bc you feel like this is absolutely going to go wrong and is why u usually make breakfast alone #and she starts being like: THIS is called a TEASPOON ... & u know all this stuff but you also know to just be very quiet #bc if you say like ''mom ive been making this breakfast every day since i was 13'' she would FREAK OUT and be like #DONT ACT LIKE I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DONT ACT LIKE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL . #so u have to smile like ur a preschool teacher and be like. OH COOL! i didn't know A CUP existed! tell me MORE! :)

[michsmeesh]

i have been unable to stop thinking about these two since volume 1 dropped on friday and my witcher hyperfix just hit me again at full fucking force

in other words THEY FINALLY GAVE US THE QUEER POLY BARD WE DESERVED RAAAHHHHHHH

#the witcher #twn #the witcher netflix #s3 #the witcher spoilers #jaskier #radovid #jaskier x radovid #radskier #jaskovid #also art block has kinda been fucking me up again but i FORCED myself to draw them #be proud of me pls #im literally screaming rying throwing up #i've been waiting SO LONG FOR THIS #also its funny bc i was literally on ep 2 watching together with my mom and my bff and i was like ...is this queerbait or not... in my head #so i quickly went on twt to check #AND I WAS HIT WITH THE KISS SCENE #MY JAW WAS LTIERALLY ON THE FLOOR #AND MY FRIEND JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE #are you good??? #AND SHE LOOKS OVER AT MY PHONE AND HER JAW DROPS TOO #i rewatched that kiss at least 200 times by now #im unwell #okay sorry enough tag spamming #my art #michsmeesh #i just felt like changing my username again soz

[why-the-heck-not]

noise-cancelling headphones !!!!!! my beloveds

#I know u *shouldn’t* use those while u’re out & about #BUT what’s some danger when u’re finally in public not fully anxious??? #idk I feel so much calmer with them; in my own bubble unreachable and unbothered #none of that ’’i need everybody to quiet down this second bc I’m abt to lose it’’-shit #(got a them for christmas and I’ve been missing out sm) #(shout out to my mom who explicitly told me to not use those outdoors bc ’’u’ll get hit by a car u didn’r hear coming’’ love u but oops) #january 2024 #2024

[doginprogress]

Today I am crying bc my mom, who has learned about sighthounds and lure coursing as an act of love and support to me. To be able to better understand what I’m saying when I talk about my hobbies and dogs. To be able to come to one lure coursing trial a year and spend quality time with me and follow along with what’s happening.

My mom, who never cared or desired to know more about dogs and dog sports but has learned simply to better understand and connect with me. Not only joined lure coursing Facebook groups, but donated unprompted and unexpectedly, without telling me, to a fundraiser for a friend who lost so much at a coursing event last weekend. She had seen the fundraiser in a coursing Facebook group and donated before I was even aware it existed. And I am just so surprised and touched.

#I’m not entirely sure why this act in particular is hitting me so hard #I cried off and on all weekend for my friend and her loss and briefly discussed it with my mom #but I was so surprised to see her listed under donations on the gofundme #I never expected or asked for any of it (I’m so happy for all the support show don’t get me wrong) #I’m just constantly surprised I suppose bc of how contentious our relationship was when I was a teen

[mossy-rot]

reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism

#i cannot deal with changes to things I deal with regularly #i need to have my phone and comp exactly the same lest I Suffer bc i use them every day #also perhaps i would get so upset over my mom cleaning my room (although being a nice gesture) is because she would move shit to places- #i didn't know and messed up the system i had #also fuckin. executive dysfunction. that's some shit isn't it #i had to move to a new desk early in my job to run a different room and the desk setup was different and I Was Struggling A Bit #also people trying to calm me down during meltdowns is significantly worse and i read a bit that was like. #'trying to interject into the meltdown may cause additional sensory overload. it's most safe to let the person self-regulate.' well shit #that's about right huh #autistic burnout also seemed very familiar and its a little disturbing just how close everything hits #anyways im probably autistic. good night #mossy's rambles #text post #luci's rambles #autism #neurodivergent #autistic things #autistic adult #autistic experiences #if anyone would like to add to the pile and tell me im autistic feel free ig. ive already been peer reviewed

[socialist-microwave-laser]

Confused about the whole Taika zionist, bc I saw his name on that list of actors thanking Biden for the support to Israel. Does that not make him a zionist? Genuinely asking.

disclaimer that rn i'n having horrible brain fog and have been in the throes of a pots episode for literally three days now, and i'm typing this from jnder my service dog rn bc he won't stol alerting. so weirdoes stalking my blog don't crucify me here if i say something slightly wrong

anyway okay so i think assigning an entire incredibly deeply complicated political and religious belief to somebody because they happened to sign onr thing (which like if we're gonns talk about rhe performativity of actirs signing things and how they mean nothing, i think it's also important that we look at this as a sort of response to anger that someone may be keeping silent on an issue. how many times have y'all seen people getting pissed about someone not talking about current evenrd. if you get mad at someone for the performativity of posting a black square on instagram to end racism, you need to also understand the forces rhat may compel a person to do that, yk). i'm not taika waititi and i'm asshming none of the people talking about this are either, so none of us know what level of engagement he gave to the letter or how closely it actually aligns with his political and religious beliefs

basicallt anyway. when i signed a peititon written by mostly marxist-leninists and socialists to demand better wages on my college campus, i was saying we need better wages. the fact that mls and socialists also signed that petition does not mean that i'm suddenly not an anarchist

my vision is getting blurry and i can tell this is so meandering but. he has never said he's a zionist, he only said he's anti-hamas. when celebrities (especially jewish and muslim celebrities) are being pressured to speak out on something that is so impossible to get accurate information and is so emotionally fraught, they're a lot more likely to engage with somethjng full of dogwhistles and propaganda like that letter. i've made so many posts about how wrong and narrow the goysche definition of zionism is—because why the fuck else would "zionist" be an insult than people having no idea how jews use this term

also, about the theory that one of the ofmd actors was let go bc of being pro-palestine, i would hope that by this point people have learned to be a bit more skeptical when people are like "omg wtf i was only being pro-palestine and now i'm in troubke." i'm sure that has happened, but so many people have said that and thrn it's found out that oops sctuslky they were being super antisemitic. i'm not calling that actor an antisemite or a liar or whatever but it's so important that in the absence of like. yknow. evidence. we be a bit more critical

i'm hoping that made any sort of sense. i'm fighting for my life rn 😭 anyway thank you for like actually being eeapectful i hsve so many asks chilling in the ask box that sre like accusing me of loving genocide and all that? anyway yeah long story short: zionism is a very complicated political umbrella that i have stopped even hoping for goyim to learn what they actually mean, and people cannot be labeled that for adding their name to a letter when we have no idea what level of engagement they actually gave to the letter

also sorry another thing. the post this ask is in response to is specifically about people dismissing a movie about rhe holocaust made by a jew bc said jew is apparently a Bad Jew™️ so that's evidence enough that none of these assholes have any idea what the fuck they're talking about

#jumblr #anarchist #asks #anonymous #zionism definition #taika waititi #the way i forgot to hit post on this bc of the aforementioned brain fog 😭😭😭 my mom told me i gotta go to urgent care tomorrow bc this is da #three of me barely being able to sit upright without my vision going blurry #how are y'all dokng #tsiyyonus definition

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things. #i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

[evienyx]

Sometimes I’m hit by the devastating fact that my childhood is leaving. It’s slipping away but I’ve still got half a foot in it. I’ll never be twelve again. I can barely remember a moment of fourth grade, but I know what it felt like. We once spent a month making a trip poster on the hallway floor. I haven’t talked to you in four years. I tutor people in Calculus. I just learned long division. I buy plushies with money I earned at work. I still sleep with the same stuffed animal my grandma got me. Maybe when I wake up, my mom will be waiting to braid my hair, because I don’t know how to yet. My dog will be small enough to fit under the fence. We’ll play tag at recess. They’ll bring the laptop cart for English. I’ll be twelve again.

#writing #ig #honestly I’ve just been like #hit really hard by nostalgia recently #but not like cute fun nostalgia #instead the heartwrenching kind when you think about the past and remember that it is ‘past’ #my sister goes to the school I used to #if I needed to call her out sick #I wouldn’t know who to call #I never had a reason to have the number saved #not when my mom was the one who would always call for me #I wish she could still do that for me #instead I just email a teacher and use their first name bc that’s what the professors say to call them half the time #they don’t care if I come or not #still wish i could just get my mom to do it for me #I’m sure she’d write the email better than I would

[yuridovewing]

As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).

Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).

Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)

dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)

i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick

(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)

#it does also feel so insidious to me just how long the bramblesquirrel conflict was painted as ''equally kind of wrong'' #the ppl who put words in squilfs mouth sometimes which. btw ill get to that when i read the book #and tbf part of it is that sometimes abuse isnt as easy to spot if youre primed to the mainstream version of it #like. bramble isnt a born evil wifebeater everyone can see coming from a mile away. hes a complex guy with his own insecurities #and his own goals and people he openly cares about. and even in some fanon stuff i see ppl kinda erase that part of him #(which i wont pretend im above- ive been trying to walk that line myself) #and that doesnt match how abusers are usually percieved by the public. or in this very series. #like. the main excuse for clear sky is literally ''hes sad his sister died and tried to save her! no one changes THAT much'' #anyone can be an abuser. you could be an abuser. i could be an abuser. that doesnt mean that we ARE but we are capable of it #and the thing that catches ppl off guard is that abusers are really good at hiding who they are and theyre often charming #i often hear this account of abuse that goes something like ''my parent abused me but no one believed me bc theyre nice in public'' #you dont know whats going on behind closed doors. and ik this is about funny kitties at the end of the day but its quite telling #so... yeah bramble has his nice moments. hes got his GREAT moments even. i love his relationship with his mom for example #but those moments dont mean that hes not capable of being worse. of being a monster to his loved ones #its why squilf keeps getting sucked back in. hes not a one dimensional asshole. hes capable of being kind to her. #and thats what makes his disgusting moments hit so much harder #wow ok i got off topic in the tags but yknow. idk i got feelings abt this matter as someone who's experienced toxic relationships

[teaandinanity]

It continues to give me the warm fuzzies that basically every person at work has said they'll miss me. And it's not really utility, even if I'm useful; I am not in a critical position. There are many people who can do the things I do, even if the majority are less experienced. I'm not management, or a lynchpin, just a long-time worker bee.

But people like me, and I just handled a Crisis Situation well enough that the AD took the time to personally thank me, and my manager was like 'not only am I willing to be a reference you can use my personal phone number if that's easier' and even some of the newest additions said they're going to miss me on desk, and I just.

I love my job and my coworkers and it's really nice that the people there know it and love me back.

#I told mom about Crisis Situation #and tonight when dad got home she was like COME IN AND TELL YOUR DAD #and then both of them were like WHEN COMPANY COMES NEXT WEEK TELL THEM TOO #haha #I mean dad did follow it up with 'no you may not drive across the country alone we will figure something out' #I'm gonna work on him about it we tried the thing where all of us are in one vehicle #Tuesday screamed the whole time and mom wanted to kill her and also me #I shall remind him of that #I think he will probably come around #if I could convince someone to come with I would probably make it an actual road trip #'come to TX for the eclipse!' #'we will drive through the deep south and hit some Neat Shit and then go up the coast!' #like you could make that a fun drive #I'm not gonna do the long version if I'm solo tho bc my parents are convinced I will be murdered #which is silly; I have not infrequently been in Situations and strangers have been kind #also the odds of getting strangermurdered for no damn reason are SO low #and the incentives to murder Me Specifically are also very low #and if a white cishet-passing woman dies 90% of the time it's a romantic partner and I'm aroace so like #I really wonder what they're imagining is gonna happen #babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter) #tea writes tag novels

[hungerpunch]

.

#not me starting to cry with just 2 hrs before go live bc i realized how much i want my dad to wish me good luck #what the fuck man :'( #oh my god. wow. yeah that's hitting #biggest moment of my career and my dad isnt here to say he's proud of me #and my mom isn’t well enough to even know what this moment is #i was not prepared for these emotions at all !!!! i did NOT schedule them into the launch!!!! #driveby post #grief diaries

[hauntingblue]

Oden's prophecy of young pirates coming to save wano becoming yamato's hope for his freedom.... and him becoming oden because of it.... it's just so good... on the other side luffy taking ace's spot for liberating yamato... I think I hauve covid

#the spades pirates in wano to save children... omg... deuce.... i have heard so much of you.... #yamato complaining about how eveyrhing is his father's fault and ace getting violent... #it is so sad that in the end it was (partially maybe) his father's fault... if not roger then whitebeard..... maybe both #the hibiscus flowers..... rouge.... #yamato telling ace he talks too much about luffy.... omg..... #NAMI TELLS TAMA LUFFY LOST ACE TOO!!! AND LUFFY CAME BACK TO WANO BC ACE SAID HE WOULD!!! OMG...... THE LINGERING..... #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1014 #pink haired samurai is still alive and kicking... hell yeah.... #ODEN WAS THE SECOND COMMANDER FOR WHITEBEARD??? OMG??? #whitebeard dealing with his rebellious son ace akshaksjak..... #ace wanting to save wano for his husband and child but wb wouldn't let him bc he is still caught up about his ex husband's death... complex #TEACH GO TO HELL!!! FUCK YOU!!! DIEEEE!!!! #they can't put luffy crying about ace dying here again.... tama feeling bad about yelling at luffy.... #YAMATO KNOWS ABOUT THE D???? #big mom wants robin.... i mean of course.... curious about pudding and her third eye.... we will meet again i guess... #PONEGLYPH!!!! kaido little borther to mom...... god valley.... rox.... i remember.... she gave him his power omg... #episode 1015 #ace face down smiling after whitebeard beats him up reminded me of ace dead smiling. hell on earth this is my last straw. goodbye. #the animation <3 ace i love you <3 yamato you are great <3 #omg... little ASL with the big pirates saying he will become pirate king omg... #PAUSE!! ACE HEARING GOOD THINGS ABOUT ROGER AND SAYING HE SOUNDS NICE THIS IS CRUCIAL TO MY ACE LORE OMG #yamato didnt say who it was... did ace really die not thinking his father was good this is my roman empire... critical hit to my brain #yamato made aces vivre card.... should i end it all for realsies this time.... #his cunty skate boat 😭😭😭😭 i could cry #he really is looking like a beautiful dead wife this episode.... yamato......the vivre card omg..... NOT THE FLASHBACK ENOUGH #THE TRANAITION BETWEEN ACE FALLING OFF LUFFY AND HIM FALLING TO THE GROUND OMG AKFBSKDNDKSKLWKWNSKWK NOOOOOO #OH FINALLY THEY ARE ALL THERE TO FOGHT BIG MOM AND KAIDO!!! FUCK YEAAHHHHHH a good drag for the mugis for good measure #episode 1013

[tittyinfinity]

covid precautions: smoking fat dabs all day so you hack up everything in your lungs before anything can get in there

#i do it to clear my sinuses quite often actually lol especially recently bc of allergies #weed affects me so much differently than most people it's weird #i mean i definitely get a high from it but it makes me more clear-headed and helps with my anxiety #(doesn't help with the adhd) #it's the only way i can eat bc my stomach and appetite have been ruined by 12 years of multiple medications #i can go out and do anything and interact with anybody after smoking an amount of weed that would make someone else see Shadow People #i think one of the reasons it affects me differently is bc my body lacks the enzyme to break down thc from edibles #i've tried 800mg thc in a chocolate bar once and it did nothing. which like if you smoked an entire gram of wax at once. #50mg from the same chocolate made my mom so high she was scared. #so yeah i guess it just hits me differently #maybe it's because my mom smoked weed when she was pregnant with me? #actually that would kinda make sense ngl #.bdo

[boxwinebaddie]

NINNAAAA WHATS SPCD STAND FOR??

oh, it's not that exciting, it's actualy awful. i mentioned it towards the tail end of chapter five of rm. it's basically what cartman used to call kyle when they were growing up. a really cruel fucked up nickname.

the s.p.c.d,

or rather,

the south park city dump. :(

the sp boys used to be fucking horrible to kyle because cartman ruled their elementary/middle school. and when cartman and the boys saw kyle in the hallway they were like "what are you doing here, broflovski? trash day's tomorrow" or omg whenever he walked ANYWHERE they made the "Beep! Beep! Beep!" trash truck noises, but worst of all was that they used to dump out...Full Trashcans On Him. like spoiled milk, rotted food stuffs, glass bottles that werent put in recycling, crushed aluminum cans that cut his cheeks, all kinds of awful, foul smelling sludge...sigh. :/ ily so much baby jersey.

also, if you want to cry extra hard, i think that being covered in all that disgusting lunchroom trash, feeling it soak thru his shirt, stink down to the skin, pool around his shoes, get buried in his hair -- just feeling that dirty and disgusting and Unclean was one of the factors that made his ocd so severe and it's a large part as to why he takes scorching showers and rubs his skin raw bc especially if he smells something weird or its trash day, he gets triggered & has to SCRUB.

but anygays! you bet your ass that tiny lil stan was giving them ALL the business rippin around on his bike brandishing his hockey stick like a big sword, running them out of town and back to their mommas crying and screaming bloody murder all in that giant wayne gretsky *ravenstan vc* yersey...they were SCARED, lolllll!!!

which is a very interesting juxtaposition to sweet, gentle stan very lovingly picking all the food debris out of his kyles beautiful curly whirly hair before marching him over to the bathroom where while kyle showers, stan always sits on the toliet bc their running joke is that kyle might drown ( yes yersey also can't swim ) while stan listens to rock n colors his nails in w/ sharpie or stolen nail polish from shell.

and he's just like "dude, Fuck them, kyle! those fkn gilipollas are just mad because theyre all total perros and you're the most handsome guy in school, hands down." wHICH? AAA??? tbf stan does say shit like that all the time & Means It bc ravenstan has loved jers from the moment he Heard him but kyle thinks he's fuckin w/ him

bc haha!

very fun joke, stan! hit on the weird, overweight, clunky, awkward, nerdy loser boy to make him feel better about himself! great joke, bro!

bUT ITS NOT A JOKE, BESTIE!!!!

HE WANTS TO KISS YOU SO BAD!!!!!!!!

not them both bein secretly and painfully in love with each other but convinced that acting on their feelings would ruin their friendship/be unrequited and both of them being like "he is perfect, what would he want with a fuckin Loser like me?" :/ </3 WERE IN HELL!!!

regardless of thinking it was a joke, it totally made kyle blush, my rosecea king and stan was sooo nervous like oh my god, you are SO stupid, stanley marsh!!!!! guapo??? gUAPO BITCH??!!!! ARE U ACTUALLY INSANE!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!!

i love nervous ass tiny stan with his massive universe sized crush on kyle broflovski that he carries around in his black jansport backpack at all times...along with the weight of the world, ofc. we know this.

but anyways..off topic.

closing thoughts?

fuck you fartman.

-uncle nina, tiny but big baby jersey kyle defense club

( don't touch my sweet son!!! MY BABY!!!!! )

p.s. i'm sorry i just started making new sections without warning. i wanted a way to post about what the boys looked or acted like during different periods of their lives -- so like, satana ( which is what stans mom called him ) refers to the period of time before the fire and kyle's 'the s.p.c.d.' section also refers to that period of time.

it's cool you guys are so perceptive tho! i hope you like them <333 you're always welcome to ask me questions about them xx

#the spcd nickname always makes me want to cry #i love you baby jersey kyle he is my angel #the world was so cruel to him #just for being fat too like #everyone who has ever hurt jersey can go hell right after they meet with me and i beat the living shit out of them...til they Die #stan was mad over protective too and stan was weird but he had Clout from being pretty so he was like IF I SEE THAT SHIT AGAIN ITS OVER #and then goes to lovingly tend to kyle like dude im so sorry you dont deserve this shit look im gonna tell their moms #and theyre gonna get so busted and have to pay you back for al your clothes...then we pretend to hit the gap and go to good will instead #and use the rest to buy tokens at the arcade or buy the new mario game and see who can finish a pizza faster its me btw #theyre in love ur honor like why didnt i give them a chance like they were...so married #ALSO AN ANON ASKED ME ABOUT BALLET KY #YES JERSEY TOOK BALLET it wasn't his idea it was an accident bc they were marking electives #and ballet was RIGHT next to basketball and then basketbal got full and sheila was like I ALREADY BOUGHT YOU SHOES UR GOING #and like at first it was really awkward but i think kyle actually really liked the structure of ballet and when u dance beautifully #what he found is that no one had anything to say about his weight just that his pirouette was perfect it was freeing #he dropped it during the kyley b era #but picked it up again in college and its kind of a form of self harm and he fucks up his feet very badly trying to be perfect #also hes like fuck all those people who laughed at me im perfect now im fucking perfect i have to show them i have to be the best #sigh...kyle kyle kyle...ill elaborate on that more in one of the ballet kyle asks but kyle loves ballet and going to preformances #ice skating and dainty refined stuff which is cute bc theyre very nosm like jers on ice skates and stan w the hockey stick during winter

[stunfiskz]

assume “people” here means loved ones/people you are generally comfortable with touching you, not strangers or whatever

#curious bc my mom was helping me dye my hair and every time she touched it i felt physically nauseous and was constantly a second away from #crying #there is literally not a worse sensation in the world to me it is horrible #but i always see like in romance things that’s like about you brushing your partners hair or tangling your fingers in it and like. #i would scream and or hit someone if they did that that is the least romantic thing imaginable to me #txt

[xannerz]

#everything is terrible. my mom's nosy and paranoid. her bp spiked so much yday she had to take her emergency pill for it. #ill be out of town starting tomorrow and im afraid to leave her. she's just. unreal rn. i messaged my aunt to keep an eye on her for me. #she keeps spiraling into actual anxiety/panic attacks bc she's convinced i've been influenced by predatory lesbians online #ik it sounds goofy but i hope i get hit by a truck so it's not really that funny to me bc i'm the one dealing with it #ive been considering asking if i can go on a brief leave of absence in jan but i'm already about to go on a week of pto. #idk what our general leave policies are and my family relies on my income so (: #im venting but i really do wanna die. i'm being hydraulically pressed into nothingness by my job and family lmao #xangoeswah