#honestly I’ve just been like

[evienyx]

Sometimes I’m hit by the devastating fact that my childhood is leaving. It’s slipping away but I’ve still got half a foot in it. I’ll never be twelve again. I can barely remember a moment of fourth grade, but I know what it felt like. We once spent a month making a trip poster on the hallway floor. I haven’t talked to you in four years. I tutor people in Calculus. I just learned long division. I buy plushies with money I earned at work. I still sleep with the same stuffed animal my grandma got me. Maybe when I wake up, my mom will be waiting to braid my hair, because I don’t know how to yet. My dog will be small enough to fit under the fence. We’ll play tag at recess. They’ll bring the laptop cart for English. I’ll be twelve again.

#writing #ig #honestly I’ve just been like #hit really hard by nostalgia recently #but not like cute fun nostalgia #instead the heartwrenching kind when you think about the past and remember that it is ‘past’ #my sister goes to the school I used to #if I needed to call her out sick #I wouldn’t know who to call #I never had a reason to have the number saved #not when my mom was the one who would always call for me #I wish she could still do that for me #instead I just email a teacher and use their first name bc that’s what the professors say to call them half the time #they don’t care if I come or not #still wish i could just get my mom to do it for me #I’m sure she’d write the email better than I would

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

Post boiling rock sketch bc prison IS where people fall in love

#zukka #zuko x sokka #zukka fanart #atla #honestly the amount of times I’ve rewatched those 2 eps is unhealthy #this one’s been in my brain for a while and I love the idea of them just being super affectionate (but in a bro way ofc) #and everyone else is just like: ?????? #and Sokka n Zuko are like: hahaha what omg u guys r so funny he’s just my bro #*falls in love anyway* #I have a problem but it’s okay

[smilesrobotlover]

Heh

#posting this now before big name aus get the idea too #idk I was looking at the mangas and how they’re drawn is somewhat similar #like their tunics #link between links #lbl first #lbl fierce deity #I’ve been… having thoughts #I was gonna keep this a secret but I honestly got scared #that some big au was gonna have the same idea as me #and people would think that I was jumping a bandwagon #and like there’s nothing wrong with doing that #but idk #it’s my pride talkin #now I HAVE seen random artists playing with this idea so I’m def not the first one to think of this #but yeah #I want First to be bright and like the sun #while fierce is dark and like the moon #anyways I’m rambling #just take it

[vic-does-battlecats]

Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind

#a starless clan #a starless clan spoilers #wind spoilers #asc spoilers #warrior cats spoilers #warriors #warrior cats #tigerheart #tigerheartstar #tigerstar 2 #tigerstar #Squirrelflight #squirrelstar #frostpaw #Nightheart #I’ve been wanting to draw this ever since the chapters were revealed and what better time than like two days til the book comes out #i actually think tigerheartstar is an interesting character in this arc he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing and he does honestly #want to help. he just does it by trying to crack dad jokes to lighten the mood while trying to run a group that doesn’t want him there #i also think it’s funny that he’s consistently just chill with taking in cats thrown out of their clans. ESPECIALLY from RiverClan #don’t get me wrong he’s super weird in omen of the stars and avos and I think in his super edition (I haven’t read it in a while) #but he’s also a good dad. he’s such a perplexing character I can’t help but find him interesting. at least he DOES stuff yknow #I’ll eat my words if he does turn out to be completely evil or something. but I’ll hate if he does his behavior really isn’t like Tigerstar #-the first. this guy isn’t out here trying to seize power #but ENOUGH ABOUT HIM!! Nightheart asking squirrelstar if frostpaw could come to thunderclan with him was so sweet #i wish she’d accepted I don’t want them to split up I’m worried the writers will forget the entire last book and they won’t be close again

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[samglyph]

I truly believe Will Wood is an incredible musician and songwriter and is one of the top lyricists in the last decade both in and outside of the genres that he chooses to play in with absolutely zero irony. I also believe that you can only fully understand that if you’ve either had a pet die before listening to his music or you have a history of drug abuse and mental health crises. Or you’re trans.

#this may sound like a snooty post where I’m just upholding my own favorite music as the best #but honestly it’s in response to a lot of fans I’ve seen be really self critical? #like yeah haha I listen to bad music #and I also have been known to joke about my own weird taste #but here’s the thing! from a technical level! his music! goes hard! it is experimental and that is GOOD #and lyrically listen I listen to a lot of music #I’m even familiar with top forty stuff and while yes the content of his songs is very niche #the lyricism is so genuinely clever and playful and ugh god #ok anyway. sorry #listened to Will wood again #and also this post is about the fact that I first I didn’t get it. #and then I went to a really low point. and suddenly I got it #ok it cracked me open like a fucking egg #music #text #personal #kinda

[stuckinapril]

A big part of turning 21 and going through that whole thing really was realizing that the idealistic friendship dynamics I’ve always daydreamed over in my head don’t exist & that in reality most friendships you’ll cultivate in your life will be a series of compromises. And maybe like 1 to 3 ride or die friends at BEST that shit is so rare and it gets rarer the older I am

#And I’ve always been a friendship girl like I’m a hopeless romantic but I’m just as much if not more of a hopeless platonic #I’ve really had to temper my expectations lately and honestly I’ve also been sequestering myself more as a result of it #Idk if I’m adjusting to this revelation well tbh I feel like I’m disillusioned w most of my friends lately #And it causes me to burn out and be a shitty friend to them in turn too #It’s just a never ending cycle of me not admitting to myself that maybe that glove doesn’t fit #And I’m quite literally forcing it onto my hand and it’s cutting off my circulation #But I’m too sentimental of my glove to just stop wearing it . Idk if this makes any sense but it does in my head

[pitofpurple]

I’d love to see a book that goes in depth on the idea of a creature that eats humans and when they are told by a human to stop they say “how is me eating human any different than you eating cow,” and the human counters with “but cows don’t have sentience the same way we do,” but the the creature simply laughs and goes

“Awwww little human thinks he has a soul, thinks he can comprehend everything we can, how cute.”

#writing inspiration #writing prompt #veganism #animal rights #cosmic horror #Im tired but might write this later #In the meantime feel free to take a stab at it #Honestly I’ve just been reading a lot of JTTW and was thinking about the way the White Horse Dragon is treated like an animal #Even though he can speak and think and lives in a complex social structure #It’s still seen as not wrong when he eats a horse cause that’s just the circle of life #Can’t help but wonder if the same would be said if he had eaten a human #JTTW

[journeytomonkiekid]

Hey. If you have DID or smth and you get an alter of someone’s OCs, and you can’t do anything about it, don’t tell the other person maybe? I’m not friends with any of you, unless were mutuals. I don’t want to know. It only causes me distress, so don’t tell me.

If it worries you, change the name. Don’t call it my ocs name. Call it something else. I have no control over your actions and this is a boundary being breached again, but I would much rather just never hear about it, thanks.

That being said, I’m postponing further pages for later. I’m too emotionally worn out.

#honestly #shit like this makes me just… #so unwilling to work on the comic anymore #I’ve been having a hard time finding the will to work anymore #coming on here only ever makes me sad

[crybaby-bkg]

Dabi is sooo stray cat coded to me. you find him hurt and bleeding near your house one day, and maybe you only clean his wounds and feed him whatever you had in the fridge, and he just keeps coming back. keeps finding a reason to return to you—he left his phone charger—he never returned your Tupperware—he needs the recipe for that one dish you made that one time even though he knows it’s just a gateway for you to cook it for him again.

and after a while, you just start inviting him in with no hesitation or need of an excuse. he’s such a stray cat kinda dude, just slinks in whenever he feels like it. knocks things over because he finds your reactions funny. steals your food and your warmth and your side of the bed.

after a while, you two fall into a routine with each other. he comes over and messes with you until he gets bored and leaves again, only to pop up in fewer intervals every time. but, as time goes on, in those moments, he just likes to watch you. keep his hands to himself—sometimes—and admires your daily routine. thinks to himself that this is what normalcy is like, asks himself why does he crave it with you so badly?

Dabi watches you from the corner of your bed as you sit in front of your mirror to dab on your makeup. he’s learned what the hell primer and bronzer is and the quickest way to do eyeliner, and it fascinates him more than it should. he watches you prance out of the bathroom after a shower in just your underwear and a towel on your head. how you lather your skin in these fancy oils and body butters, but finds himself asking if they’re safe on still healing burned skin.

he watches you cook him dinner and clean the living room and enjoy your shitty music and tv shows and cry over your dumb romance books and he just. he just can’t believe he’s fallen into this domesticity with you, this normalcy, as he finds himself not watching anymore but doing—with you, beside you. and he finds that he likes it. just a little.

#I love this dude fr #I had a dream about him last night #actually I had two dreams #and one was about me being obsessed w this girl after she saved me #but she hated me bc she wasn’t gay lmfao #BUT HIS dream I don’t even remember honestly #just us sitting in a room painted orange with a bunch of Knick knacks in it #idk I’ve been having like twenty dreams a night #ANYWAY I’m obsessed w him vury much so #ALSO I got some chunky yarn for crocheting so wish me luck in trying it again!!!! #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dabi treats! 🍬

[rollercoasterwords]

obsessed w the confidence of the people who comment fully in portuguese on my fics. never once have i said that i speak portuguese nor indicated that i can understand it yet there r multiple people out there leaving multi-sentence comments & sometimes even paragraphs in a language i do not speak. just fully confident that no language barrier will stop the message from getting across…i love u

#also i do speak enough spanish 2 get the gist of what’s been said so. it works out #& translators exist as well etc…still i just find it funny & charming #especially funny bc like. no one is leaving comments in spanish which i do speak. nor any other language that i don’t speak #it is specifically just portuguese in my comments. portuguese-speakers ur confidence is unmatched #honestly at this point i’ve been gaslit like. did i accidentally tell u guys i speak portuguese at some point #txt

[ysabelmystic]

I’ll be real, yall were all about “cringe culture is dead” until hazbin hotel came out and now suddenly we’re cool sending anon hate and bullying people over this show…

#I’ve honestly been using this website less and less because of the shit people have sent me #I’ve gotten anything from death threats to massive essays on why I suck as a person for liking this show #I don’t really wanna be here anymore if I can’t enjoy my hyperfixations in peace #and I hate turning off asks because I like getting silly mail #idk I’m just sad and annoyed #up until this show the only hate I ever got was from TERFs #hazbin hotel #cringe culture is dead

[aimseytv]

So on the 22nd we are Fully saying goodbye to c!Aimsey?

yep :) the chapter is finally closing

#i’ve procrastinated this project so much because i honestly don’t want to say goodbye to her #but she deserves it #she may be just one of my silly ocs #but she is the character i made before i started properly streaming you know #like bloom has been with me since the start of the minecraft days #it’s gonna be sad to say goodbye #but i’m excited #asksey

[bdoubleowo]

I think truthing is best avoided because it’s incredibly invasive and parasocial and at the very least one should keep the behavior to yourself as to not make the cc’s uncomfortable, and that anything short of the full picture (something impossible to achieve as an outside observer) could be missing context and that friendships come in many forms and there are other ways to experience relationships aside from just romantic or platonic but also I think Dream is just actually full on /r in love with George I don’t know what else to say why does he act Like That

#I’ve been like. ‘truthing isn’t great but something is going on there’ for months. probably a year now #and yet somehow my expectations keep getting. surpassed #i like to think dream chose to search for wattpad George fics specifically so he could read gnf x reader fics #dnf fics are impersonal to him. he’s a party separate from the narrator. x reader fics allow him to live out his wildest dreams #honestly there’s like. truthing that’s just believing something with your whole pussy and then Truthing where you actively search for proof #capital T truthing is invasive. i think sometimes you just gotta to believe weird shit that affects no one #shout out to my friend who saw this post rotting in my drafts and said ‘no post it actually’ #i made them start listening to heatwaves by showing them this unposted dnf post #dnf #dreamnotfound #og post

[newar]

hiii i’m getting rejections left right and centre and i’ve exhausted the help of my friends and family, i really need help with some expenses this month (ideally before the 1st of may) so if anyone could assist i would be so grateful. i just need to make it to the end of june when my lease ends! please rb if you can

p*p*l

#newar.txt #:(( honestly at rock bottom i’ve been in this hell for like 9months now i’m just so…

[crowskullls]

Minute said “I am not your puppet.” In his SMP civilization video and I ran with it.

#something about puppet minute makes me go crazy #I think he said it because Tru and Flame asked him to do a dance? #but still. so insane #and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it #the hand is Wemmbu’s btw #because who else would the puppeteer be? #hehe. anyways #ignore that this is messy #this was just supposed to be a warmup sketch honestly #but then I got lost in the sauce #especially ignore the hand I’m crying over it #minutetech #wemmbu #kings duo #can we decide on a duo name for them please #I’ve seen like 4 different names for them #lifesteal smp #lifesteal #kings smp #this is mainly inspired by kings smp s1 #also! minute has a purple stop watch #it’s a gift that wemmbu gave him #crowskulls art