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ancient-cats-unite · 1 year

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Jam Session

The music cats jam out together! What could go wrong? Many things, especially when a guest star gets involved.

"Sorry I'm late!"

Moneko burst into the studio door, almost tripping and sending her pink songbook flying. Ramen Cat, who changed from his work clothes to something more extravagant caught it. He chuckled, handing back to the girl.

Ramen was decked out in a sparkling red and orange gradient jacket. One sleeve was studded while the other had "RAMEN" sewed on with sparkly thread. Ripped jean shorts and boots with yellow laces made him look pretty kickass. Moneko had the complete opposite clothing sense, a strawberry pink dress with a green belt, hair extensions in pink and green with hot pink mary janes.

"Hey Moneko! We're kinda waiting on the Rock Revengers."

The studio was sleek, a stage fitted enough for the gang as well as some speakers set up. The jam session pooled their money together to rent for an hour though Moneko's salary could pay for it hundred fold. Moneko pulled up a plastic chair.

"Neat! I got this cool song I've been practicing for awhile. I miiight play it on my world tour."

Ramen propped himself up on her lap, looking at the lyrics in pink pen. Suddenly the door burst open with a loud kick. The mortar player held a large music case, almost comically large. The others streamed in, rough housing antics ensuing with the bee and the crab.

"WE'RE HERE MOTHERFUCKERS!"

The mortar player propped up his drum on the stage. The crab ruffled both Ramen's and Moneko's hair.

"Whassup crazy folk?! Haven't seen y'all since winter!!"

Moneko giggled, while Ramen hurried to fix his springy hair.

"Yeah, yeah.. ey, where's the other guy?"

Ramen retied his black hairband. The Rock Revengers stood up, confused. Moneko checked her phone, scrolling through their reserved time.

"Yes! We have another person coming. She's a very special friend of mine-"

The door creaked open, following the jangle of beads. A typical cat with an eye popping headdress rolled in. Alongside her was a mini cat carrying her microphone on a velvet pillow.

"Meawuuu!"

There was nothing typical about this cat. She was known for her over the top displays at her concerts. Flashing lights, gravity defying stages and excellent costume design. She was a force to be reckoned with, even after her retirement no one could take her top spot. Her popularity was a hidden gem to the empire. The one and only.. Cabaret Cat.

"Meawuuuuuu! Meaoo!"

Cabaret Cat nuzzled Moneko's leg, sitting next to her on her velvet pillow. She mewled sweetly like it was a sincere greeting.

"..okay, who is this cat?"

The chestnut player asked, lugging his music stand along. He was immediately tackled by the mortar player.

"Dumb fuck! This is CABARET CAT. THE GREATEST CAT MUSICIAN OF ALL TIME."

Cabaret Cat begun to groom herself. Dismissing her cat companion, she held her microphone in her mouth. Ramen looked at Cabaret Cat, jaw dropped.

"How did you get Cabaret Cat in here? With US??"

Cabaret Cat was gently carried into Moneko's lap.

"Oh, she just wanted to sing with us! For fun! She texted me on Meowter."

Moneko held Cabaret Cat all the way to the stage. The Rock Revengers stammered, pushing the highest pedestal for the tiny cat and bowing. It was very out of character for them, they bowed to no one.

"H-here you go Cabaret Cat!"

Cabaret rewarded their kind gesture, allowing a pet from each. The rockers were reduced to a grateful mess.

"I.. I petted the Miss Cabaret.. I'm never washing this paw again!"

Ramen rolled his eyes.

"Okay.. Cabaret. Should we, uh, get you anything?"

"Meawuuu! Meaw meaww!"

She shook her head, getting slapped in the face by beads and string. The rockers connected their instruments to the speakers, Ramen pulled out his spare microphone and helped the other two singers connect their microphones.

"So should we start with 'Cat eat Cat world'?"

Moneko set up her lyrics on a music stand. Cabaret bonked into the microphone just to make sure it worked.

"Yeah, thats like the only song we know."

Ramen pulled out a microphone stand in his paws. The Rock Revengers were all set up at this point. The mortar player was hyped at this point, jumping right in.

"Hell yeah! One, two, one, two, three, four!"

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Terrible, absolute abhorrent musical skills ensue. Loose and sloppy was the only tempo the rockers were used to. Cabaret sighed in disappointment. When the band got to the bridge of the song, Cabaret let out her signature verse.

"Meawu! Meawu meawu!!"

The floor began to crack. Rumbling the stage, everyone hurried off to witness the magic of the Cabaret. A huge humanoid cat came from the ground in sparkling neon and gold. Cabaret jumped from her seat and landed on the statue's paws. It rose until it broke the roof of the studio, up to the sky. Cabaret, fully confident on her own stage, started her solo.

The cats below were both starstruck and devastated. Ramen looked at the debris that surrounded them. Miraculously no one was hurt.

"I really REALLY HOPE she's paying for this."

"Is that Cabaret's hit single "Meow into my heart"?"

"Yessss!!"

Cabaret had quite a crowd around her as she sung to her heart's content. After she finished, she winked at her friends below. The statue then drifted off into the sunset. The crowd was shook except the band.

"I'm NOT PAYING FOR THIS. Can't you get Cabaret to pay for this Moneko?"

Ramen held his paws up. A whole clutter of voices from the Rock Revengers, Moneko and Ramen overrid any sort of civil conversation.

"I can probably take this out of my budget!!"

"FUCK NO, WE'RE SUING!"

"But what about MISS CABARET??"

"KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF YOU DAMN CRAB SIMP!"

"Watch your LANGUAGE DIPSHIT-!"

"MONEKO is RIGHT HERE Ramen!"

"Guys please!!"

In the horizon, Cabaret Cat and her statue sat on a large hill. The cat sipped on a pink lemonade, singing her famous tune.

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#the battle cats #battle cats #tbc #feline fanfics #cabaret ruins a friendship and unretires more at 5 #this is just a clutter story i might clean thus up #i almost forgot cabaret is a singer #the band swears except moneko. like a lot at the end #i need to do more writing #maybe ill finish dancing with the devil #the rockers simp a lil for cabaret #she is a big shot in the cat music industry though