#NEED to coerce my friends into liking her so we can discuss this movie at lenght

[pointlessfrog]

tbh I’m still thinking about la chimera and I will be thinking about la chimera (2023) -dir Alice Rohrwacher for a really long time

#I still think lazzaro felice and corpo celeste are her best work but this is close #Le meraviglie was also phenomenal but not as good in my opinion #NEED to coerce my friends into liking her so we can discuss this movie at lenght #personal

[introvertguide]

Do The Right Thing (1989), AFI #96

Our next film on the list that we reviewed was a more recent drama/comedy called Do The Right Thing (1989), directed by Spike Lee. Well, on a list with movies over 100 years old, a little over 30 is pretty new. It is the story of a single day in 80s Brooklyn and the drama that comes from frayed nerves under the boiling summer heat. The movie received a couple of Oscar nominations and Spike Lee received recognition for his directing and screenwriting. Danny Aiello also was recognized on the awards circuit for best supporting actor. There are some extraordinary aspects to this film that makes it stand out, but I also feel that it is lacking in many ways. The good strongly outweighs the bad, but I will discuss that more after the movie summary:

SPOILER WARNING!!! IT IS LESS SPOILERY THAN NORMAL DUE TO ALL THE CHARACTERS, BUT THE MAJOR POINTS ARE STILL GIVEN AWAY!!! WATCH FIRST AND COME BACK FOR THE ARTICLE TO GET THE BEST EXPERIENCE!!!

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Mookie (Spike Lee) is a 25-year-old pizza delivery man living in Bedford–Stuyvesant, with his sister Jade. He and his girlfriend Tina (Rosie Perez) have a toddler son named Hector. Mookie works at a local pizzeria owned by Sal (Danny Aiello), an Italian-American who has been in the neighborhood for 25 years. Sal's eldest son Pino (Jon Turturro) is racist, and does not get along with Mookie. Because of this, Pino is at odds with both his father, who refuses to leave the majority African-American neighborhood, and his younger brother Vito (Richard Edson), who is friendly with Mookie.

Many distinctive residents are introduced, including Da Mayor (Ossie Davis), a friendly drunk; Mother Sister (Ruby Dee), who watches the neighborhood from her brownstone; Radio Raheem (Bill Nunn), who blasts Public Enemy on his boombox wherever he goes; and Smiley (Roger Smith), a mentally disabled man who meanders around the neighborhood trying to sell hand-colored pictures of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr.

While at Sal's, Mookie's friend Buggin' Out (Giancarlo Esposito) questions Sal about his "Wall of Fame", a wall decorated with photos of famous Italian-Americans. Buggin' Out demands that Sal put up pictures of black celebrities since Sal's pizzeria is in a black neighborhood. Sal replies that it is his business, and that he can have whoever he wants on the wall. Buggin' Out attempts to start a boycott over the Wall of Fame.

During the day, local teenagers open a fire hydrant and douse the other neighbors to beat the heat wave before officers intervene. After a phone call, Mookie and Pino begin arguing over race. Mookie confronts Pino about his negative attitudes towards African Americans, although the latter's favorite celebrities are black. Various characters express racial insults: Mookie against Italians, Pino against African Americans, Latino Stevie against Koreans, white officer Gary Long against Puerto Ricans, and Korean owner Sonny against Jews. Pino expresses his contempt for African Americans to Sal, but Sal insists that he will not leave the neighborhood.

That night, Buggin' Out, Radio Raheem, and Smiley march into Sal's and demand that Sal change the Wall of Fame. Raheem's boombox is blaring and Sal demands that he turn it off, but he refuses. Buggin' Out calls Sal and sons "Guinea bastards" and threatens to close down the pizzeria until they change the Wall of Fame. Frustrated and angry, Sal calls Buggin' Out a "n****r" and destroys Raheem's boombox with a bat. Raheem attacks Sal, leading to a fight that spills out into the Street and attracts a crowd. While Raheem is choking Sal, the police arrive. They break up the fight, and apprehend Raheem and Buggin' Out. Despite the pleas of onlookers, one officer refuses to release his chokehold on Raheem, killing him. Realizing that Raheem has been killed in front of witnesses, the officers place his body in the back of a police car and drive off.

The onlookers, devastated and enraged about Radio Raheem's death, blame Sal and his sons. Da Mayor tries to convince the crowd that Sal was not responsible for his death but the crowd remain where they are. Mookie grabs a trash can and throws it through the window of Sal's pizzeria, sparking the crowd to rush into the pizzeria and destroy it. Smiley sets the building on fire, and Da Mayor pulls Sal, Pino, and Vito out of the mob's way. The police return to the sight, along with firemen and riot patrols arrive to put out the fire and disperse the crowd. After they issue a warning, the firefighters turn their hoses on the rioters, leading to more fighting and arrests. Mookie and Jade sit on the curb, watching in disbelief. Smiley wanders back into the smoldering building and hangs one of his pictures on what is left of Sal's Wall of Fame.

The next day, after an argument with Tina, Mookie returns to Sal. He feels that Mookie had betrayed him, but Mookie demands his weekly pay. The two men argue and cautiously reconcile, and Sal finally pays Mookie. 

The film ends with two quotations that express different views about violence, one by Martin Luther King and one by Malcolm X. It fades to a photograph of the two leaders shaking hands. Prior to the credits, Lee dedicates the film to the families of six victims of brutality or racial violence: Eleanor Bumpurs, Michael Griffith, Arthur Miller Jr., Edmund Perry, Yvonne Smallwood, and Michael Stewart.

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I want to break this into the good and the bad (at least in my humble opinion). I want to start with the great cinematography and the director of photography Ernest Dickerson. He really brought the city to life and made the overheated neighborhood into a character. He used reds and oranges and avoided greens and blues. All of the clothes were sweaty and stained. There were also some beautiful walking shots that followed Mookie as he moved through the neighborhood. Some of the best camera work was the close-ups of Radio Raheem because the shot would tilt to a Dutch angle every time he got mad. It gave the feeling like things were going askew. 

Because it was shot on location in Brooklyn, one could use Google maps and see the actual neighborhood. It was mapped out so well, however, that I didn’t need the map and could draw out the locations of the homes and businesses from a single watch. Dickerson did a phenomenal job of setting the stage for Spike Lee’s story and has done great work on many of Lee’s other films including She’s Gotta’ Have It (1986), School Daze (1988), Do The Right Thing (1989), Mo’ Better Blues (1990), Jungle Fever (1991), and Malcolm X (1992). Great team and a great bunch of movies. Dickerson has since moved to directing and well worth following. 

I thought the short comic stories that came together were pretty great. Somebody accidently stepped on Buggin’ Out’s shoes and scuffed them. He threatened the guy who did it and got a whole group of people to help and try to coerce money out of the offender. It eventually turned out that he was all talk. But the shoes kept popping up over and over. The three men sitting and complaining while not actually doing anything was pretty funny. The hatred that Sister/Mother had for Da Mayor was pretty good as well. There were a couple pretty good laughs.

I love the character of Radio Raheem played by Bill Nunn and how he represented the underlying anger of the neighborhood. He just walked around trying to do his thing and listened to his super loud music. The black residents recognized him and knew he had become part of the landscape while other residents tried to get him to be quiet and suppress him. When he was killed, the anger that he represented was released and the group went into a frenzy of destruction. Raheem’s interaction with each of the other characters truly defined how director Spiker Lee wanted the audience to see that person. The movie really shines with any scenes involving Radio Raheem.

As far as the acting is concerned, I really liked the work of Danny Aiello, John Turturro, and Richard Edson. I don’t want to be accused of anything because I liked the work of the three main white actors, however I feel that the three characters trying to fit into a place where many felt they did not belong was the most intriguing. Sal seemed like such a good guy, but he still had some underlying hatred and fear of black community and it became apparent when he was faced with Radio Raheem, the representation of the suppressed black anger of the neighborhood. 

The six people to whom the movie was dedicated were all black Americans in the New York area who had died in suspicious and racially charged violence. I normally don’t recommend this site, but Wikipedia provides links to learn more about all of the people mentioned. It seems that a lot of Spike Lee’s characters were based on the different people mentioned. I had never realized how closely tied this film was to the history of violence in 80s New York, and it does make me like the film a lot more. 

Now for a couple of things that I really did not enjoy. The main character Mookie was not that interesting beyond just being a vehicle that walks through the day. When it got to the point where he couldn’t take any more and he smashed the window (whether it was to protect Sal by directing the anger towards the store instead of Sal and his sons is up to interpretation) seemed so out of character. Like everyone stopped and stared as he did something that his character had no motivation to do. This could just be a personal critique because I found Spike Lee’s acting so unconvincing (the guy can’t emote, he is a director not an actor) and I think giving his boring character control of the turning point at the climax of the movie was a little bit of director ego.

I also didn’t like the random white guys that were with the cops that killed Radio Raheem. Where did they come from and where did they go? The cops show up to break up the fight between Sal and Raheem and suddenly there are some plain clothed white guys that I didn’t remember being in the rest of the movie. It seemed like they came from the surrounding streets and there was one guy in particular who was in a blank tank top that helped subdue Radio Raheem that just disappeared. Wouldn’t the police want to take him into custody as well or at least not leave him on the street with a large angry mob? The sudden appearance of all these extras for the one scene has always thrown me. It feels like they took stock footage from a different movie and plugged it in, or maybe it was shot long before or after the rest of the scenes in the film. 

I did not like Rosie Perez’s character of Tina. Perez had been a professional dancer and this was her big break. I really didn’t think the opening with her dancing was noteworthy in any way, her famous ice cube scene was completely unnecessary, and the ending with her complaining was horrific. Honestly, the ice cube scene shows Spike Lee rubbing a piece of ice on Rosie Perez’s naked body and it felt pervy and inappropriate. I do not correlate all nudity in a movie with automatically meaning it is not for kids (depends on the movie and depends on the kid), but this was just dumb. This was a point of contention with the group that watched with me, some saying she was the best part of the film. I could not disagree more and I rated it 3/5 on Netflix noting that it would be 4/5 if Perez had not been in it. She really rubbed me the wrong way in the film. I liked her in White Men Can’t Jump playing a similar character, but in this movie she was not needed.

In fact, there seemed like there were many extra things that didn’t need to be there. There is about 2 minutes in which five characters make racist rants about other ethnic groups with the camera right in their face. This seems like art for art’s sake and not really needed. The character of Smiley seemed very out of place and it turns out that he was not in the original screenplay but written in so that the actor could have a part. The DJ just said the same things over and over with no real insight. He was played by Samuel L. Jackson, which is cool, but he also didn’t need to be there. I guess my biggest gripe is that Spike Lee had a great film idea with strong characters and then decided he needed to keep layering in more characters and subplots until it was superfluous. But again, just an opinion. 

I saw that Siskel & Ebert both rated the movie as one of the top 10 of the 80s. Both of them had opinions about whether or not Mookie did the right thing, which is not a question that Spike Lee intended to ask (as he stated in many interviews). I think it was (and is) refreshing to have a strong black voice in the director’s chair and this might have affected their rating. Maybe, since I was 9 when this film came out, I am not affected enough by how new and innovative this film must have seemed when it came out. I started to become aware of the world shortly after this movie was released and I was inundated with Spike Lee in films and advertisements. His work didn’t seem so fresh when I also saw him in commercials for Nike and McDonald’s. I shouldn’t allow that to take away from the importance of his voice as part of the history of American cinema. He is the only black director of any movie on the AFI top 100 films and only one of two directors of color (M. Night being the other). 

So does this film belong on the AFI top 100? Yes. It is a good story of American life in an area that was often ignored. The streets of Brooklyn are just as American as the farms in Iowa, the plains of Cheyenne, or the suburbs of California. It is great to have those stories told by a man who grew up there and knew the different life styles and the different problems. It is an important movie and I am glad it was included. Would I recommend it? Yeah, it is pretty good. I would say focus on the interactions between Raheem and the other characters and it makes for a great story. Definitely worth checking out. 

#spike lee #80s films #do the right thing #brooklyn #black voices #introvert #introverts #afi films #american movies

[buckybabybaby]

Mr Hollywood (Chapter 6)

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 1949

Chapter summary: Is Bucky really busy, or just ignoring you? 

No Bucky in this chapter :( just talk of.

Warnings: A bit sad?

Chapter 5

Mr Hollywood Masterlist

Masterlist

*****

Peggy being made deputy head two years ago was the breath of fresh air the school needed. Government lead reports always came back positive, and the children left happy and ready to take on the world by the end of year six, but like she constantly reminds you, there is always room for improvement. She is particularly good at the non curriculum side of events, the number of after school clubs have doubled since she was put in charge, and she is also keen to keep the day to day school timetable fun.

Take the pancake race. They're not actual pancakes, that could get messy and be a waste of food, so instead the children have decorated round pieces of paper with the topping they would like, which are used in place of the real thing, incorporating both art and sport.

Standing on the playground, you listen delightedly to the excited chatter from your line of Year One's, each blowing out clouds of white steam into the cold air. It's a relatively simple event, just an up and down race attempting to balance their pancake on a saucepan, and you're glad is shouldn't take too long as your fingers are going numb. Bouncing slightly to stop your toes going the same way, you snuggle into your scarf, watching Peter organise the stages smoothly. You've been so impressed by how quickly he's settled in that sometimes you forget he's relatively new. He has a way about him, charming without being sleazy, and you've joked with him before that his youthfulness helps him bond so well with the five and six year olds.

Edwin sidles up next to you and you share a smile, able to tell that he too is relishing the half hour break this activity is giving the two of you, happy to let the teaching assistants be in charge for a bit. It also gives you a chance to catch up, as even with shared lessons a couple of times a week, its a rare occasion when there aren't children to attend to or planning to begin.

“How's Ana?” You inquire. “And the girls?”

“They're good, thank you. Causing mayhem, nothing new.”

“Who, Ana? Or Emilia and Isabella?”

He snickers. “All three. But I wouldn't have it any other way.”

Grinning, you both clap politely as one race ends, before he asks, “Have you heard from James recently?”

His question has your heart sinking. It's innocent in it's intent, he knows how close you two are, and everyone in the staff room has loved the little updates you've been able to give them on their former colleague, but what he doesn't know is that you haven't heard from Bucky in over a month.

The last message you got from him was on new years eve, so technically there's been radio silence from him all year so far. At first it was just like it had been, a week or two with no response hadn't been unusual, but when you flipped your calendar to February and there had still been no interaction it started to become worrying. He's exhausted, that's what you tell yourself, but you can see he's read them, so how hard could it be for him to send a five word reply? As a consequence you'd slowed down your own texts. In the past you had sent one everyday, a little taste of home, of normality, you had hoped, to keep him updated on life back here, but now, looking at the outgoing compared to the non existent incoming, you are filled with embarrassment.

“Err no, but you know how it is. Always busy.”

“I'm sure he'll call when he can.”

You want to believe that's true, but with every passing day it seems less and less likely.

*****

A shake up of your routine in the form of a birthday party invitation is very welcome in early March. Little Benjamin is not so little any more, as signified by the big number three balloons floating around the living room, remarkably tidy given the number of toddlers running about. It's peculiar being here without Bucky acting as a buffer between his extended family and you, and you realise how much you hid behind him at such events. Sometimes quite literally.

Needing a minute by yourself after the birthday boy finishes blowing out the candles, you retreat to the kitchen. That's where Dayton's wife, Sophia, catches you red handed, shovelling down your third slice of cake. You try to apologise but she shakes her head with a grin, grabbing a plate herself and tucking in. Leaning against the cabinets next to you, she declines your offer when you motion towards the coffee pot, making you frown, knowing her love of caffeine.

She explains her actions. “Don't tell Day I told you before he could, but we're expecting again.”

It was more a case of when not if they had another child, they were both such natural parents, and this news has you tearing up as you mumble your congratulations through a mouthful of icing. Embracing her delicately, hyper aware of not crushing her, you wonder if Bucky already knows. When he'd been sworn to secrecy about their first baby, it had taken him less than a day to break that oath and tell you, and surely family would be told first, so has he managed to keep the secret this time? Or is this more evidence that he's forgotten about you?

Distracting yourself from those dark thoughts, you start speaking in a rush. “How far along are you? Are you going to find out the gender? Does Benjamin know?”

Giggling at your enthusiasm, she gently coaxes you back into the sitting room whilst she answers your queries. “We haven't told Benjamin yet, because as soon as he knows, the whole world will too, so it's just family for now. We'll tell him soon.”

“He'll be such a good older brother.”

“Like Bucky is to Dayton.”

“Nineteen minutes isn't much older,” You chuckle, despite the knot in your tummy at the mention of his name.

She excuses herself to play host, leaving you alone, and open to being coerced into a game of snakes and ladders on a giant floor mat.

*****

By the end of the afternoon you're worn out, wondering how parents do this all day. Helping tidy up after the rest of the guests left has nearly done you in, and you're close to nodding off on the sofa when Dayton comes to invite you to stay for dinner

“Or do you want me to drive you home?” He asks, amused.

“I came on the train, you don't need to bother yourself.”

“Not a bother, come on, I'll drop you off at the station.”

Relenting gratefully, you wish a sleepy Benjamin a happy birthday again, squeeze Sophia lightly, and let Dayton lead you out to the driveway and into one of his more modest cars.

Gliding smoothly up the drive and indicating to turn onto the main road, his voice only just keeps you awake. “Sophia told you about the baby?”

Remembering her earlier words, you feign ignorance. “Baby?”

He laughs at your unconvincing acting. “I know she did, I could tell by the way you hugged her goodbye. It's okay, I don't mind she got there first.”

“I'm really happy for you both.”

“Thank you.”

The drive continues in a comfortable silence, and you study his profile as he concentrates on the road. It's almost painful looking at him when he looks so much like his twin. His hair is a bit shorter and straighter, and he may be a few centimetres taller, but everything else is identical, even down to the way he sits behind the wheel, casually confident.

The image makes your heart ache.

“Have you,” You start, unsure what to say. “Have you heard from Bucky recently?”

You try to sound nonchalant, as if his answer is unimportant.

“Yeah. Why, what's he said?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing at all for two months,” You admit quietly. It feels good to tell someone, however pitiful it makes you seem.

“What do you mean-” Glancing over, he notices your eyes filling, and checking his mirrors, slams on the brakes. Flung forward in your seat, you brace your hands against the dashboard as he steers the car to the side of the street. It's a controlled stop because of his driving experience, he didn't crash his racing car because he was a bad driver, but that doesn't mean it's any less scary for you. Pulling on the hand brake, he turns to you, waiting until your breathing is calmer to talk.

“So tell me, what has my idiot of a brother done now?”

Your heart is still racing as you think of how to explain. Bucky hasn't really done anything, has he? There was never a discussion about how often you would contact each other, you had just thought that, with modern technology, a couple of lines a week wouldn't be asking too much.

Dayton breaks through your inner debate.

“Okay, I wasn't going to say this because I didn't think it meant anything, but Bucky was all mopy last time I saw him, and now I see you're not any better. What on earth is going on?”

Ignoring most of his statement, you focus on the confusing bit. “When did you see him?”

“Last week. I assumed he'd go to see you too but clearly not.”

“He was over here?”

He nods. “You haven't said anything to him either?”

“No,” You sniff, wiping at the tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. “I don't know what I've done wrong.”

Sighing, he pulls you into a hug, letting you cry into his collar. “You haven't done anything wrong. It's just... He's always been so stupid when it comes to you.”

You don't know if you should be offended by that or not, however you are too tired to work out or ask him to explain, being so emotionally vulnerable in front of someone can be draining. Finding out that Bucky is definitely avoiding you and it's not in your head has hit you hard, and it takes you a while to slow the tears and untangle yourself from Dayton.

Sitting back in your seat, he starts the car again and you spend the rest of the journey thinking of anything but Bucky. Or at least trying to. Opening your window a crack you lean your head on the frame, the cool air helping revive you and dry your eyes, and you appreciate the radio being turned up as a distraction.

Parking in front of the small railway station, he makes sure you're feeling okay, convinced you're better from the smile as you dodge away from his attempts to fix a woolly hat on your head.

“I'm not cold!”

He tucks it in to your pocket anyway, “Just in case.”

Checking that a train is arriving soon, he only allows you out of the car as the front lights of the engine come into view along the line. Thanking him, you close the passenger door, and as you're making your way to the platform he calls through the window out to you.

“He'll be in touch soon.”

“I hope so.”

“He will. And we're always here, you know that.”

“I do.”

Waving goodbye you board the train, thankful now more than ever to have him in your life. Whilst he's not Bucky, he's still holds the same affection in your heart. You've known Dayton, and Sophia and Benjamin, as long as you've known the eldest Barnes twin, and maybe they're all you have to remind you of him now.

*****

Chapter 7

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #buckybabybaby #Mr Hollywood

[magicmastered]

What Universe does Thor: Ragnarok Take Place In? Part Two

I repeat my disclaimer from the last post in this series. If you don’t want to see criticism of Thor: Ragnarok, then a) don’t read, b) filter your tags, c) block me, or d) any combination of the previous.

For Part Two I’ll explain the characterization discrepancies between Thor: Ragnarok’s characters and those it shares through the MCU. These characters are Thor, Loki, Odin, and Bruce Banner.

(No, I didn’t forget Heimdall and the Warriors Three. I don’t see any issues with Ragnarok’s portrayal of Heimdall—correct me if I’m wrong, I’d love to discuss it—and unfortunately we don’t have enough time with the Warriors Three to tell.)

I’ll start with pre-Ragnarok Thor.

Thor, as I pointed out in Part One, has a violent temper, and his recklessness endangers his brother and friends. He starts out Thor (2011) arrogant enough to try to pull rank on Odin. He cajoles his friends into joining him on dangerous missions. He tends to look down on Loki, but doesn’t visibly enjoy seeing him in pain, and cares what happens to his brother to some degree (he’s distraught when Loki seemingly dies in both Thor movies, and saves Loki from the implosion bomb). He eventually learns to cool his temper to some degree (come later in Thor (2011) and later movies), though he still has lapses (when he Mjolnirs Tony for getting between him and Loki, then Cap for telling him to drop Mjolnir in Avengers (2012); when he nearly punches Loki in the face in TDW, when he chokes Tony in AOU). He learns to talk things out before fighting (he talks to the Kronan in TDW before they...uh, fight, and he tries to talk down Ultron in AOU with “no one needs to break anything”). Thor starts to question Odin’s authority (when Odin basically says he’d let all of Asgard die if it meant killing the rest of the Dark Elves in TDW) and defy his decisions. He takes situations seriously when they warrant it (note his face when Ultron starts snarking). He cares about Jane quite a lot (he gets her notebook back in Thor (2011), comes to Earth when he thinks she’s in danger in TDW, and brags about her to Tony in AOU).

Now, Ragnarok Thor.

Thor has always patiently put up with Loki’s assaults (will get to these in Loki’s section) without fighting back, losing his temper, or doing anything to prevent them. He openly, shamelessly manipulates Bruce/Hulk (telling each that they’re the one he prefers), Valkyrie (shaming her when she doesn’t want to help him), and Loki (the elevator speech, and the one with the obedience disk). He grins when Loki’s twitching in pain on the ground from the obedience disk, and leaves him there for an unknown length of time where Loki could’ve easily been found and executed. Thor’s back to attacking other realms on suspicions without negotiating (he goes to Muspelheim and kills the king and anyone who tries to protect him). His violence is back—he effectively threatens to smash Loki/Odin’s head in if he doesn’t reveal himself, backs Loki into a couch with Mjolnir to his chest, and looks like he’s about to attack Loki when Odin dies. He’s back to worshiping the ground Odin walks on (after learning that Odin conquered and slaughtered his way through the Nine Realms, he still looks to him for guidance). He quips constantly, no matter the situation (see...the entirety of Ragnarok). He dismisses Jane with a line about a mutual dumping.

Huh?

Loki’s turn.

Loki, as I pointed out in Part One, prefers to negotiate rather than fight, and tends to think ahead. He’s highly intelligent and strategic (he realizes in advance that Thor will get them into trouble on Jotunheim and works out how to get out alive, he realizes that the relics in the vault are stolen, he doesn’t buy Odin’s initial story about taking him in out of compassion, he quickly figures out how to overpower Odin/where to put him/how to get him there/how to get Thor’s friends out of trouble). He has legitimate reasons for everything he does (see Part One). He’s generally loyal to Thor, outside of extreme circumstances like experiencing a mental breakdown or getting anything from coerced to tortured by a mad Titan (his betrayal in Thor (2011) comes as a shock to Thor, and Avengers (2012) didn’t really have anything to do with Thor). After Odin and Frigga lied to him, and Sif, Heimdall, and the Warriors Three betrayed him (as did Thor by agreeing to come with them, technically), Loki doesn’t trust easily, and is always on guard. He refuses to tolerate manipulation from his family (he denies that Frigga is his mother when she makes acknowledging Odin as his father a condition of that, and doesn’t accept for Odin’s hypocrisy). He’s quite skilled at psychological manipulation and lying (he knows exactly what will keep Thor down when he lies that Odin’s dead), and knows how to act (he plays Odin flawlessly enough that Thor doesn’t notice in TDW). He’s anything but lazy (he definitely works at his plans in his first two movies, and in TDW...Svartalfheim and after speaks for itself). He’d make a good ruler (“for all his grave imbalance, Loki understood rule as I know I never will”). After Odin and Thanos, he’s not great with authority figures (he’s...less than respectful of the Other—“if your force is as formidable as you claim”—and he sasses Odin relentlessly in TDW). He feels fear but doesn’t act on it (he’s scared on Jotunheim but fights anyway; he’s scared of the Other but doesn’t run; he’s cool and collected upon his defeat in Avengers (2012); he’s poised with Odin during the trial). He only acts egotistical in Avengers (2012) under the influence of the Mind Stone; otherwise he wants to be accepted as Thor’s equal. He’s genuinely mentally ill (he attempted suicide, and probably has serious PTSD after Thanos—if only the movies showed that kind of thing).

What’s Ragnarok’s Loki like?

Loki’s needlessly violent (the snake story), and has no planning ability whatsoever (he doesn’t have a better plan than ‘get help’). He’s pretty stupid (putting Skurge of all people on Bifrost duty, calling the Bifrost to get away from Hela when she was in Bifrost-range, not noticing the obedience disk, etc.). He doesn’t have a reason for doing anything other than “I’m a trickster, I can’t help myself”. He’s always betrayed Thor compulsively. He’s...not exactly on guard (he doesn’t think to carry a weapon as Odin, and he trusts that the Grandmaster will keep his word and not execute him if he brings in Thor). Loki does what Thor wants when Thor tries emotionally manipulating him. He doesn’t notice when Thor tried reverse psychology on him. He’s terrible at acting (he completely foils Odin’s speech and behavior). He’s remarkably lazy (he’s laying on a couch eating grapes when Thor shows up). He’s pretty bad at ruling (the Nine Realms are in chaos). He’s fairly obedient to authority figures (he ingratiates himself to the Grandmaster and doesn’t talk back once). He’s a bit of a coward (he was scared when Thor showed up, “bring us back”, he’s visibly afraid of the Grandmaster, “I have to get off this planet”). He’s an egomaniac and attention hog (the statue, the play). He “tries...to embody this idea of a tortured artist, this tortured, gothy orphan”—no real problems at all.

Are these supposed to be the same person?!

Okay. Odin.

Odin is massively hypocritical, manipulative liar with tons of blood on his hands (the first part needs no explaining besides “watch the movies”; for the second, Loki first implies, then states outright, that Odin’s responsible for a lot of death, and neither Odin nor Frigga correct him). He doesn’t let Thor make his own choices (he doesn’t even consider that Thor might not want to rule; he wants Thor to be with Sif instead of Jane; he won’t listen to Thor’s suggestions about the Dark Elves). He’s worn down Loki’s self-esteem his whole life by favoring Thor, and he’s outright cruel to Loki later (“No, Loki”; “your birthright was to die”; “Frigga is the only reason you’re still alive and you will never see her again”). He never admits his own faults (he never takes any responsibility for any of the death he’s caused, never admits to the part he played in Loki’s downfall) except to hurt people (“yes, I was a fool—to think that you were ready”). He doesn’t express affection to his sons, and any he has is hugely conditional—as soon as they step out of line, he gives the guards permission to kill them (“by any means necessary!”).

Time for Ragnarok Odin.

Admittedly, he’s still a massively hypocritical, manipulative liar with tons of blood on his hands (see: everything involving Hela). After death, Odin controls Thor’s choices even more than before. He praises Loki aloud (“Frigga would’ve been proud”). He admits a mistake (“I’ve failed you”) in a way that, well, doesn’t immediately hurt anyone. He shows open affection to both Thor and Loki (“I love you, my sons”). He’s generally considered wise and benevolent.

Wait, what?

And now, Bruce. I don’t know as much about him, so his will be short. I’d love to see more on him if anyone has suggestions.

Bruce is very intelligent (he’s a physicist who can keep up with Tony). He’s not panicky; he’s usually quite calm and mild-mannered (see Avengers (2012) and AOU). He hates killing people as Hulk (he’s unhappy after the Hydra bust at the beginning of AOU, and he’s miserable and guilty enough to leave after Johannesburg). After he de-Hulks, he knows he’s most likely killed someone or at least caused a lot of damage.

Then there’s Ragnarok Bruce.

Bruce has 7 PhDs, but his shown intelligence is...questionable: on an alien planet where no one knows who he is, he thinks he’s supposed to disguise himself as Tony Stark. Without Hulk he’s considered useless. He’s openly anxious (“I think I’m freaking out”; his reaction to Sakaar in general). He doesn’t mention the fact that two years straight of being Hulk is probably going to mean a lot of damage and a lot of people dead. He shows no grief or distress due to it.

Yeah...no issues at all....

Odin’s sudden appearance of warmth isn’t without explanation. It could easily be his attempt to make Loki guilty for his anger (since Odin’s last words would’ve seemed kind), thus encouraging him to help with Hela to make up for it. Other than that, they’re irreconcilable.

Thor cannot be both sadistic and non-sadistic.

Loki cannot be both completely stupid and smart.

Odin cannot be both “wise and benevolent” and cruel and controlling.

Bruce cannot be both ignorant of the damage Hulk causes and deeply distraught over it.

These sets of traits cannot exist in the same characters in the same universe without reasons for the change within that universe. Ragnarok provides no such reason, which creates a stark gap in continuity.

There is no cinematic universe without continuity.

Ragnarok clearly disregards the canon of the MCU. Therefore, it cannot be part of that universe.

As I’ve suggested to @lucianalight, I propose that we use the term “Ragnarok Cinematic Universe,” or RCU, for all movies that use Ragnarok’s personal canon.

#marvel #mcu loki #loki meta #mcu thor #anti ragnarok #bruce banner #mcu odin #what universe does ragnarok take place in? #rcu #my posts #my post

[pass-the-bechdel]

Buffy S2E11 Ted

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?  

Yes, three times

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?          

6 (50%)

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

6

Positive Content Rating:

Two

General Episode Quality:

Storytelling was good. Content was rough. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Willow and Buffy pass in a group. Buffy and Joyce pass. They pass at the end discussing movies. 

Female Characters:

Buffy Summers

Willow 

Joyce Summers

Jenny Calendar

Cordelia

Male Characters:

Xander

Ted

Angel

Giles

Neal

Detective Stein

Other Notes:

I get everyone’s human (minus the vamps, hardy har har) and all that, but Joyce is in charge of the well being of a child and should really put her daughter first. That doesn’t mean not dating at all, but it does mean doing it responsibly. Especially since this is the first guy (we assume) that Joyce has dated since Buffy’s dad she shouldn’t have brought him home until she was ready for them to meet and then had a sit down conversation with Buffy preparing for that meeting. That’s some irresponsible parenting to just expect Buffy to roll with there, Joyce. Editor’s Note: gonna have to disagree here; Buffy is not a small child, she shouldn’t need a Special Talk in order to prepare for the fact that her mother is dating someone. Sure, it’d be nice to have a heads-up before finding a strange man in your home (because it is also BUFFY’S home, her safe space - this aspect of her discomfort does make sense to me), but the whole idea that kids cannot handle their parents moving on into new relationships and must be gently coddled instead of just dealing with the fact that the parent is a whole person with a life beyond parenting them is an infantilising cliche which I particularly hate. Joyce shouldn’t expect Buffy to just instantly click with Ted (especially since Ted comes on creepy-strong), but Buffy should also have the basic human decency to just be civil to new acquaintances until she has a genuine reason not to be. We need to kill the idea that ‘children will always be jealous and hostile toward new parental partners, they’re just Like That’.

Freud was bullshit. Stop referencing Freud. 

Xander, stop being a shit friend. Realize Buffy needs some time without Ted and say so when confronted with the outing. 

Still a fan of them showing Jenny having to deal with the body possession and danger and it affecting her relationship with Giles. I’m glad it didn’t go away after the end of the The Dark Ages either. 

When Ted starts to overriding Joyce’s parenting decisions (even when it’s just a minigolf score) she should stand in and tell him to back off. And, later, when Buffy says that he threatened her physically, it’s unacceptable for her to not have her back. 

Buffy needs to get a lawyer. 

So I do appreciate everyone having Buffy’s back now, but it’s a little late for that. 

Funny side note, Anthony Head was in a play called ‘The Death of a Salesman’ and that’s just hysterical to me. 

You know how I was praising Jenny making Giles give her space and not forgiving him right away? I take it back. It’s not that I’m unhappy that they reconciled at the end of the episode, but they should have done it by acknowledging what had happened and talking through it, and Jenny working on her healing. Not them getting back together because of an accidental bow misfire. Editor’s Note: Seconded. Jenny talking about still needing time and to not feel like she has to spontaneously ‘be better’ just so that Giles can stop feeling guilty was a GREAT piece of emotionally-real storytelling, but her just ditching that by episode’s end really ruins the power of it. Y’had a good thing for a second there, show, and then you went ‘never mind, Man’s Feelings are more important after all’. 

I feel like the drugged food was thrown in to give everyone (and especially Joyce) a pass on treating Buffy so bad throughout this episode. It’s a cop out. Buffy came forward to Joyce and told her that Ted threatened to hit her, and her mom didn’t believe her. While I know that there are situations where battered women don’t protect their children from abusers, Ted didn’t try to physically hurt her until later. Neither Joyce nor her friends protected her and at some point they should have been made to answer for that. That being said, this episode did have sharp storytelling in that I was actually afraid for a bit there. So kudos for that. 

Editor’s Note: this is an episode that I have a lot of trouble with, for the probably-obvious reason of it being a very familiar scenario that plays out in far too many people’s real lives (though usually without drugged food (which I agree is a cop-out), and of course, without evil robots). On the one hand, the various true-to-life elements are sharply confronting, and in that way they do the job of shining a light on real experiences in a way that could feel validating and helpful to viewers. On the other hand, this content has extreme potential to be triggering, and that makes the flubbed elements of its handling really irresponsible (especially when your story is aimed at young people who might be in the midst of such a situation, rather than adults who have hopefully been able to move past it, emotionally and/or physically). This is one of the reasons I am particularly displeased with the Hate The New Boyfriend Because He’s Not My REAL Dad! routine at the beginning of the episode, because it sets Buffy up as being legitimately unreasonable in a story where her being the only reasonable person becomes immediately relevant as the narrative unfolds; it legitimises the idea of her concerns being dismissed by people who already saw her being immature and rude. I hate the drugged food cop-out, because it seems to be used as a flimsy method to excuse Joyce’s behaviour in particular, instead of exploring the way that a parent can be manipulated/coerced/gaslighted by an abusive partner, and how they can either be genuinely fooled or drawn into complicity in the abuse of their child(ren). The idea of children in these situations saying that it was like their mother was drugged, the way she would defend the boyfriend’s actions, disbelieve the children when they tried to tell her what was really happening, etc, that’s a concept that people could really cite, but playing it straight, making it actual drugs? Just lets Joyce off the hook (and she is very, very on the hook for so much bad parenting, in this episode and others - plenty of what happens with Ted is not her fault, but the story still makes no effort to have her acknowledge where she did go wrong and be a supportive parent to Buffy; Buffy ends up very much the responsible adult in the relationship by episode’s end, but not in a narratively self-aware manner). To top it off, I feel that the whole ‘Buffy thinks she killed a man’ portion of the episode is a HUUUGE misplay, as it muddies the abuse element of the story and suddenly makes it into a moral dilemma for Buffy, and the air of judgment about Buffy defending herself from an abuser is incredibly unsavoury in the context of the rest of the episode. Basically, I appreciate pieces of how this episode gets to the core of realistic experiences, but I take major issue with the way it jumbles its ideas together and never fully explores such a serious subject, and I feel that it’s more likely to leave survivors of such abusive situations feeling confused and uncomfortable (at best), rather than validated and understood. Obviously, some people will feel differently, but I do say all this as someone to whom the episode content (sans drugs and robots) is personally familiar; I’m not basing my opinion on pure conjecture. 

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Buffy the Vampire Slayer season two #Ted #Bechdel Test #female representation

[ralsei-deltarune-blog]

Mila Milan

Mila Milan is as close as camming gets to producing a celebrity: a renaissance woman boasting ownership of a private resort in Thailand (below), a Porsche, an industrial design firm, nine cats, eight dogs, an impending book deal, a small child, and what she says was "one of the biggest tips ever in cam history — 260,000 tokens, which meant $US13,000 for me.Studio 20 is the largest studio webcam franchise in the world. It has nine branches in Romania, including one employing "cam-boys" who service the gay market. Its other branches are in the Colombian city of Cali, Budapest and Los Angeles. "Not your average female. I'm the fabled nerdy, intelligent woman who plays video games, loves all types of movies and music, books, and other women. I'm hyper, I have a dry, dark, sarcastic sense of humour, and I quote movies. A lot. Imagine Wednesday Addams, Daria, Liz Lemon and Darlene Connor having an orgy. I'm the result.There are still big ticket European customers these days, men who Anna is reluctant to call "addicted", but "spend more time... you need to entertain those people who are going to stay for hours and hours in your room, even if they finished what they came for — they want to get to know you. Either way, camming keeps Anna in comfy sweatpants and Fanta.

I knew then, that before I could construct a cohesive argument to put toward my friend, that I needed to take another look at the situation from a broader perspective. I knew that if I came at it purely from my own personal experience that I would ultimately fail. Firstly, I needed to find out if the topic had been discussed at length already - I had heard bits and pieces about the industry and its link to feminism but this time I immersed myself. When I typed in feminism and stripping there was more material than I ever would have possibly imagined, and I read article after article after article.Entirely unsurprisingly, it's impossible to get in touch with any of the people who actually run these networks. None of the above entities from LiveJasmin, Streamate, or MyFreeCams responded to efforts to confirm that they do indeed exist and have some affiliation with the websites in question. All that's available is a semi-robotic technical support chat, which fields basic questions about how to use the site and credit card processing. These web cam kingpins might as well not exist. We don't know where the money goes.While I was there, I went through one of the trainings they offer—a cam girl boot camp, so to speak. To be a cam girl, I learned, you have to be able to field sexual requests and be an expert on all kinds of fetishes so that you always know what clients are talking about. On top of that, you also have to be a pseudo therapist. The coach trained me on how to respond to different fetish requests, what to wear, how to do my makeup, how to pose, how to use the equipment, and just how to interact with clients in general. It turns out that, according to my coach, what people like is generally not the super over-the-top sexy woman. They want someone who looks hot but is pretty normal and chill, who they can just talk to.Others aren't so lucky, she says, referring to her peers' dips into coerced sex and assault. "Guys who are in charge of these business, they don't respect the girls, because of this job. A girl who does this doesn't deserve to have respect — that's just the mentality. But at the same time, Anna downplays the prevalence of studio abuse as "exceptions", or even complete fabrications — ploys for sympathy and the money that might trickle with it.

Some of the girls broadcast risqué photos of themselves for free using sites like Instagram and Tumblr while others only use sites which require payment before viewing. "It's psychologically damaging to stay 12 hours in an office getting paid a minimum wage," she says.Some of the girls broadcast risqué photos of themselves for free using sites like Instagram and Tumblr while others only use sites which require payment before viewing. But I have all these questions about camming. Why is camming so popular? Is camming the future of porn? Do people prefer it mostly because it’s so much more personal? CONTINUED BELOW...

[houseofdisdain-blog1]

Book Club, Part 4: Vampire Jane Fonda

Welcome back to BOOK CLUB, our 4-part book club about the movie Book Club. Previously, we discussed Diane Keaton’s least favourite friend. We’re back this week to tell you all about Jane Fonda and lesbian vampires.

R1: Her character, Vivian, is also the one most closely linked to Judge Sharon.  R2: We get a lot of bad photoshop at the beginning that lets us know that Vivian and Sharon went to Stanford together. And, to Diane’s credit, she does describe them as exceptional. R1: It’s something like: Judge Sharon, a federal judge, went to law school and of the 263 graduates in her year, 63 were women, and of those 63 women, only one became a federal judge. R2: What Diane doesn’t tell you is that all of the 200 male graduates became federal judges, too. It was a big year for federal judges. R1: Vivian is technically the founder of the titular book club, isn’t she? R2: Yes. It all started when V was like, hey friends, let’s go read this book — so did they all go to school together? That would make sense.  I can understand how Vivian and Carol know each other, because they work in similar worlds. Even though they don’t do anything in those worlds. I mean, Jane Fonda just rides her elevator up and down every single day. R1: Right, she’s this fabulously wealthy, sexually empowered hotelier. I think we’ve mentioned it before, but she’s basically the Christian Grey. And she lives in her fancy hotel.  R2: Which, by the way, has the worst security. There are multiple occasions where people just walk in on her after she’s told her staff to keep people out. She’s in her office and tells her secretary she can’t take her love interest’s call and then he just enters the room. And then she’s in her bedroom — R1: And all her friends just walk in! Although, that one’s on her. Lock your door, Jane! R2: Even her private rooftop view! She has this exclusive, private space set up at the top of her building but — R1: It’s not locked! Anyone can get in there! R2: You employ 150 people and not a single one is a security guard. R1: They’re too busy tickling her arm. R2: A scene that made me feel deeply uncomfortable, but I was okay with it for the sole reason that Frankie asks Grace to do that to her in season one of Grace and Frankie. So I choose to read this as Jane Fonda telegraphing to me, a conspiracy theorist, that she wants Grace and Frankie to be about lesbians.  R1: I guess we should go over her romance with someone who is tragically not Lily Tomlin.  R2: Oh, it’s pretty straightforward. Jane Fonda has had many lovers, but she only ever cared for one man. So of course she turned him down when he proposed.  R1: She’s a busy career woman! 

R2: And then he comes back into her life and melts her cold, career-oriented heart.  R1: Because she always held a candle for him.  R2: Her secret patio looks over their favourite diner. Jane Fonda rebuilt her entire hotel so that she could have a better view of her favourite date spot with a man she rejected. That’s bananas. I’m into it, but that’s bananas. Jane Fonda is out there sunbathing every night vampirically, looking out over the city and saying to herself, I don’t want to marry that man I just want to look longingly at the place where he proposed to me every night. I love it. That’s romance.  R1: Definitely more romantic than bringing that man up to your vampire hideaway and falling asleep while he tickles your arm. R2: Absolutely. R2: What else does Jane Fonda do? R1: She goes shopping with Candice Bergen and buys her the shapewear. R2: Why wasn’t Jane Fonda the lesbian? Someone should’ve been a lesbian. All book clubs should have at least one lesbian.   R1: I mean, they both could be. R2: That’s true. It could’ve been the established lesbian helping the late-in-life lesbian. But no, that’s not for Diane Keaton, the kisser of the men. They are all obviously heterosexual.  R1: She really goes out of her way to assure Andy Garcia that her first kiss — R2: That conversation really felt like Diane Keaton sharing a personal memory, I’m just saying — R1: It did. Don’t worry, Andy, my playground kiss was definitely, absolutely heterosexual.  R2: Relatedly, throughout the entire movie, every character keeps trying to tells us 50 Shades is so sexy. Mary even wildly asserts that this book is a love story. Everyone needs love! Sex isn’t enough, Jane Fonda! You heartless flax-wench! R1: You’re not better than me, JANE! R2: Diane Keaton probably definitely read 50 Shades and went, wow this is so sexy, I wish a man would coerce me into dating him by first leading to believe that my greatest fear of a plane crashing will come true.  R1: True love. R2: It’s a masterpiece of a movie, but it would’ve been truly transcendent if Jane Fonda’s one true love had been played by Lily Tomlin. R1: There should have been lesbians. Or vampires. R2: Or lesbian vampires.  R1: Judge Sharon is halfway there. She’s up all night. She never sleeps. She just Bumbles.  R2: Do you think her life would be more fun if she was a vampire? R1: Vampire federal judge!! R2: Why isn’t there a movie about a lesbian vampire federal judge? R1: I guess we’re writing it. R2: We’re taking your fanfiction away from you, Diane. R1: This is our book club now. 

Thank you all for joining us for BOOK CLUB, our book club about the movie Book Club (2018). Do you know of any movies about vampire federal judges? Please let us know. We’re desperate. 

#diane keaton #jane fonda #Mary Steenburgen #lily tomlin #grace and frankie #Candice Bergen #fifty shades of grey #book club a book club about book club #thank you to everyone who replied or reblogged or vaguely acknowledged our book club #we see you and adore you #please watch that diane keaton interview if you haven't it's such a trip

[bee-kathony]

Casualties of War

#QLPromptExchange - @thelallybrochlibrary

PROMPT #13: Claire has a relationship with another female nurse during the war.

Thank you @jules-fraser for making this beautiful moodboard!

CHAPTER 1 | BEDSIDE MANNERS

When the war broke out across Europe, there was no questioning mine or Frank’s involvement. My husband, Frank of only two short years became an officer with MI6 while I began training as a nurse at Pembroke Hospital in England. The hours were long and exhausting, days spent on my feet with little sleep. But the reward was being able to help heal in any way possible the brave men that were fighting for our country.

During my combat nurse training I became close friends with a few girls who were assigned the same shifts as me.

Cecelia Davies, a girl about my age, came from Brighton and had volunteered because her two eldest brothers had been enlisted. A girl named Nancy Thomas who was two years older than me, outspoken and mischievous, had volunteered because her parents told her she couldn’t. Then there was Emily, my closest friend. Emily Hampton was one year younger than me, she was sweet, quiet and loved to read just like me. We had bonded quickly, discussing our favourite authors and novels, never failing to find a conversation topic.

It was quite hard to be away from Frank, having only been married a short time, I missed him dearly but it was Emily who comforted me on those cold dark nights when I found myself missing him the most, wondering if he was even still alive.

We were all so pleased when we learned that we had all been stationed at the same field hospital in Amiens, France. We had been here for roughly one year already and there seemed to be no end in sight to the war.

Today was slow, unlike yesterday when a bomb went off in a nearby village and swarms of civilians and soldiers were brought in. I hadn’t bothered to eat, simply forgetting my own needs as I cared for the wounded; amputating two arms, one leg and bandaging as many heads as I could.

There wasn’t much for us to do besides make our rounds, checking on the patients, emptying bedpans and reapplying soiled bandages. I found I had a pretty strong stomach, having spent most of my youth with my Uncle Lamb who was an archeologist, out in deserts and in foreign countries, eating their delicacies and being exposed to all elements of the world. Emily on the other hand, did not have a strong stomach.

I watched as she re-wrapped a man’s bandage, he had a brain injury and part of his skull was missing. She nearly gagged three times but managed to finish the bandage and gave the man a glass of water.

I laughed to myself as she put her hand over her mouth, walking over to me and then grabbed the closest bin, throwing up whatever food was still in her system.

“I really should have volunteered to be a clerical worker instead of this.” She groaned, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Imagine me sitting at a desk, the window open blowing my hair gently around my face and not a bloody bandage in sight!” She laughed and sat down next to me on the spare bed I was now occupying.

I took the hand she had not wiped across her mouth in mine, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze. “But then you wouldn’t be here with me and that would be quite dreadful I think.” She rested her head on my shoulder, “Besides… I don’t think I could put up with Nancy’s flirting with all the patients if I didn’t have you to talk about it with afterwards.” That made her laugh which in turn cheered me up. I had had another rough and sleepless night worrying about Frank, I always did after treating wounded soldiers, which was practically everyday.

“When do you think Cecelia will be back from her brother’s funeral?” Emily asked me. Cece’s brother, George, had died in battle. He was stationed here in France and was caught in crossfire, her family had received the telegram a week ago.

“I expect by the end of the week and if not then, definitely the next. I was surprised Sister Lamarche let her go back to England for the funeral. What’s even more surprising is that she managed to find transportation there. I still wonder how they recovered George’s body and got him to his family.” People died all the time, it wasn’t often one of us was allowed to leave and grieve back home with our families.

Emily lifted her head off my shoulder and looked up at me, “You didn’t hear?” She asked.

“Hear what?” I replied.

“They didn’t bring George’s body back to his family. They only knew he died because they found his army badge out in the rubble… amongst limbs.” She forced herself not to gag at the thought.

“I thought it was only crossfire? A bomb?” There would be no body to return to his family, the funeral was for the family to grieve and mourn the loss of their son as a casualty of this bloody war.

“Poor Cece. She must be so heartbroken.” I sighed, squeezing Emily’s hand in mine. Often, I found myself squeezing my own hands into fists whenever I became emotional or on the verge of tears. Emily had picked up on this weird habit of mine and so when I squeezed her hand she looked at me, the unspoken question in her eyes.

“I’ll be alright Em. Promise.” I reassured her and she squeezed my hand back.

“Tell me something happy Emily, something to take my mind off of Frank and whether or not I still have a Husband.” I half laughed but my heart wasn’t in it. War took its toll on the human spirit.

She crossed her legs at the ankles and leaned her head back against the pillow. “Hmmm, something happy, something happy to cheer up Mrs. Claire Randall…” she said, her voice thick with amusement. “I can tell you about my first kiss and how awkward it was? Shall I?” She asked and with a slight nod from me she began talking.

“I was thirteen and he was fourteen, a year ahead of me in school. I barely even had breasts for crying out loud but there I was, kissing a boy.” She laughed, “His name was Billy, cute for a fourteen year old I guess but the thing was… he was shorter than me.” I fake gasped like it was the most horrendous bit of news she could tell me and she swatted my hand playfully, “Yes! He asked me to go to the cinema, with my parents sitting three rows ahead of us, don’t even get me started on that.”

“He held my hand throughout the film which was sweet but nothing happened past that. You see, I had a bet with my friends that he would kiss me during the movie but he didn’t so I assumed I was out two pounds.” Emily rubbed her thumb and pointer finger together as if she had the two pounds in her fingers now.

“But after the movie my parents drove us to his house and I told them to drive around the block. My Dad wasn’t too thrilled by that idea but my Mother coerced him into it.” She exclaimed. Emily was quiet and typically shy but with me she could talk for ages, she was also a natural story teller once you got to know her.

“So there I am walking next to Billy Smith and we’re standing on the steps before his house. I though ‘oh here we go, this guy’s not gonna kiss me, even after I sent my parents away’, but all of sudden he found his balls and kissed me.”

“That doesn’t seem so awkward, it seems sweet actually.” I said.

“Claire, don’t forget, he was shorter than me, to kiss me, he had to stand on the tips of his toes. So he kissed me, it wasn’t hot and heavy, he just put his lips on mine and didn’t move them. I had seen the movies Claire, I knew what kissing was supposed to look like and this wasn’t it.”

“I wanted to heat things up a bit so I grabbed his hands and put them on my waist but he had other ideas, that little bastard moved his hands and squeezed my arse! And here’s where it gets really awkward… my parents… my God, my parents drove up just as Billy’s hands touched my arse.” This had me laughing, I now had forgotten my worries about Frank.

“My Father put the car in park and jumped out so quick! Billy jumped so high and barely said ‘goodnight’ and he opened his front door and ran in before my Father could kick his little arse.”

We were both laughing now and I heard a loud “Shhh!” From across the room and we put our hands over the other’s mouth. That only made us start laughing even harder and soon tears were streaming down both our faces. What was it about trying to hold in your laughter that only made you want to laugh more?

I took a few deep breaths and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“What was your first kiss like Claire? Juicy I’ll bet.” Emily said, reaching to grab a tissue from the side table and handing me one.

“No. Not really. The first time I ever kissed a boy was in grade school, he almost missed my mouth in fact. Nothing juicy or special.” I had actually only ever kissed three people in my life. That boy from school, a young archaeologist that was traveling with my Uncle Lamb and then Frank.

“Aw drat. I was hoping to get an enthralling tale about the beginnings of Claire Randall’s sexual encounters.” Emily poked her finger into my side just under my left breast.

“Nothing enthralling, I’m afraid. Just plain vanilla sex.” I blushed and then realised that Emily’s hand had not moved from my side but had actually slid just under my breast.

“Have you ever kissed a girl Emily?” I asker her, she was staring down at her hand, her fingers moving slowly against my stomach.

“No.” She said quietly, “Have you?” The touch of her fingers was sending little tingles throughout my body. I hadn’t been touched this intimately in months.

“No.” I repeated her answer. Emily looked up from her hand and into my eyes. I noticed for the first time how green her eyes were, so unlike my muddy brown ones.

Before I knew it, Emily’s mouth was pressed against mine. Her eyes were closed but I hadn’t even a chance to close mine before she had pulled away. “I’m so sorry, Claire. I don’t know what came over me.” She blushed a deep crimson and made to move off the bed. “Please forgive me.”

I grabbed her wrist so she couldn’t leave and forced her to look at me. “There’s nothing to forgive Em, it was an innocent kiss.” I smiled, “A bit short but enjoyable nonetheless.” Now I was blushing.

She sighed and moved back to her spot on the bed next to me. “I suppose I just got caught up in the moment, it’s hard you know… being so far from our loved ones… not being touched unless it’s your own hands.” Her statement made me blush even deeper, I had heard soft moans coming from her bed a few times in the time we had known each other but I only assumed she was having a bad dream, never did I think she was touching herself.

I guess I was feeling that same ache of wanting to be touched because I placed my hand behind her neck and turned her head to kiss me.

Emily’s lips were stiff against mine but then she relaxed once she realised what was happening. She moaned gently against my lips when I pressed my hand against her breast, cupping its full weight.

The kiss lasted a few more moments but ended too soon as I heard footsteps coming down the hall and remembered that we were sitting on a spare bed in the infirmary, the privacy sheet barely shielding us from the rest of the patients.

I pulled away and moved a stray piece of hair behind her cheek. “I guess I got caught up in the moment then too.” I smiled and then stood from the bed just as Sister Lamarche walked through the doors and spotted us.

“Ms. Hampton, get out of that bed and come with me. Ms. Randall, come with me as well.” She ordered and Emily stood from the bed, bending quickly to straighten the crumpled sheets.

We followed Sister Lamarche out the door and I dared a glance at Emily who reached out and took my hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

#qlpromptexchange #lallybroch library #claire randall #claire fraser #claire beauchamp #emily hampton #original character #casualties of war #mclairefras #ww2 #nurse claire

[gardenglowswithdesign]

I was getting ready to post a rant that I wrote titled: How long held hostage? Then I stopped and thought about it. I have been through all kinds of bad stuff. I have friends that have been through similar things. That’s just what life is all about, I think. Yes, we can stand up and fight against some of the things we don’t agree with – sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But if the Zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, who would you want to be with? Yes, I know you are thinking – WHAT DID I JUST SAY; but hang with me here. I do have a method to my madness.

I don’t plan out my blog posts. I jot down little ideas that I have while running about (I carry a little notebook with me everywhere I go), but I never know what I want to say until I start at it. The first post, How long held hostage, was about trying to define (mainly in my own head) exactly what our government is doing to us. I used the help of Merriam-Webster.com for the following:

Bully: Definition of bully 1a : a blustering, browbeating person especially: one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable tormented by the neighborhood bully  Extortion: Definition of extortion 1: the act or practice of extorting especially money or other property especially : the offense committed by an official engaging in such practice Terrorist: Definition of terrorism           1 : an advocate or practitioner of terrorism as a means of coercion Coercion: Definition of coercion 1 : the act, process, or power of coercing They used coercion to obtain the confession. (this didn’t give me much of an answer so I read on…) Legal Definition of coercion 2 : the use of express or implied threats of violence or reprisal (as discharge from employment) or other intimidating behavior that puts a person in immediate fear of the consequences in order to compel that person to act against his or her will

I was traveling that road because I have friends, family, people that I love and care about that are hurting right now due to the stupid (yes, I said stupid, and I mean it) Government Shutdown. I used to work for our government, and I know first-hand how the decisions they make from their ivory tower can inflict severe damage. Several regulations they passed from their thrones, were shuffled down to our level and then we were expected to implement them. They had no clue what it actually took to do said act. They also didn’t see the “bigger picture” of what happens when you make those kinds of decisions on We The People. All of that story just kept making me more upset, more angry, and feeling more out-of-control. So I stopped and slept on it, then I came up with an epiphany.

What if the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow?

I just picked zombie because I am hooked on The Walking Dead show. I don’t watch for the gore (some of it is just too graphic), I watch for the creator’s rendition of the human condition involved in a story of that type. So, what if the world went to hell tomorrow? I’m not talking about complete annihilation but something severe. I watched a series called Revolution (there were only two seasons) which examined the possible human condition if all the electricity suddenly stopped. Could you imagine?

• No cel phones, • no heat, • no cars, • no internet, • no anything that needed electricity to run.

One last example that strikes a chord with me is Day After Tomorrow. Yes, I am a big Dennis Quaid fan, but I love the concept of the movie.

The whole epiphany for me was this:

Who would I choose to have in my group to survive?

It all boiled down to one simple truth for me. A person CAN choose who they want to be around – even family can be disowned. I have the family I have, the friends and loved ones that I have not because of money, power, fame or anything else so petty. I have these people in my life because they either:

• Have things in common with me. • Make me laugh. • I can trust them. • We can share thoughts and ideas.

I didn’t realize until I started writing the other post how important the last one is. I may not always see eye-to-eye with someone in my circle. We may have arguments or heated discussions about a subject. The key is that no matter what is said, what is thought, or what is felt; at the end of the day they are still a part of my circle. So if the world went to hell tomorrow, my circle is who I would want around me. They are a farmer, gardeners, retirees, Government workers, military, police, firemen/women, Social Service workers, plumbers, electricians you name it; we have a walk-of-life in it. They are part of my circle because we value and respect each other. We can have a difference of opinion, but we would never turn on each other over it.

Before our fire of 2014, I worked for the government for over eleven years. I became extremely bitter by the end of my employment with them. The job left me feeling that people, in general, were all users. They will suck you dry of life, love, and laughter if you let them. I held many different jobs before that one, but never did I have such a low and bitter view of humans until that job. The fire brought me back to reality. People are good. They are caring, compassionate, warm, funny, loving, loyal, and thoughtful. I realized in my epiphany that the government made me feel like my hands were tied all the time. I used to call Congress, send letters, I even got through to someone once who listened; but nothing ever changed. The only thing I have in life is my circle of people. These are the ones to hold close, protect, defend, laugh, cry, and grow with. This is the way changes happen when we hold tight to each other and stand together as one. The bottom line for this post is I hate that the government is holding us, hostage, to get what they want. It is our (very) hard earned tax dollars that secure us – not a wall, not regulations, or Congress, or even by a President – but by We The People holding strong to one-another. Everything shitty that has happened in my life was overcome with the help of my circle of friends, family, and loved ones. I could never have made it past age eighteen if I didn’t have all of them for support. THANK YOU ALL!

You can also check me out at: www.helbergfarmstories.com for fun stories from our farm.

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Who Would Be In Your Circle? I was getting ready to post a rant that I wrote titled: How long held hostage?

#family #friends #laughter #Life

[dabbhangra]

Arbor Vitae

Genre: Fantasy, adventure

Word count: 3002

Pairings: none (so far)

Chapter: 1/?

Summary:  The Teaching twelve men to control their superpowers and save the Earth at the same time? Nandini saw no problem in that. Now if only Baekhyun learnt to be less annoying...

A/N: There are some malayalam dialogues I’ve used here, the translations for which I’ve provided at the end of the fic. Also, this is my first fanfiction here, so please enjoy!

It was for simplicity’s sake, that Nandini Mohandas told anyone who asked that she hated Byun Baekhyun.

Because really, she didn’t hate him, per se. Baekhyun was a nice good-looking guy who didn’t have a mean bone in his body. Hell, the reason she had caved in and became an EXO-L was because of him, her first bias.

And it wasn’t like he was messing with her directly. She wasn’t one of the lucky ones who got to assist the band members on their tours or anything. The most she generally got to see of the idols were glimpses whenever she had to give stuff to their managers, or when they were leaving for their concerts. And getting yourself noticed was straight up a scenario from a reader insert fanfic.

No, Baekhyun by himself wasn’t the problem. Baekhyun’s stupid debut concept, on the other hand, was the source of all her frustration, something she couldn’t explain to her normal friends without sounding like a crackhead.

(After all, telling people that the Earth was being controlled by something called the Tree of Life and that twelve idols were currently running around with superpowers worked best if you were describing a fantasy novel, not if you were telling others your Tragic Backstory TM.)

Nandini didn’t hate him. That didn’t mean that she didn’t feel like pulling her hair out whenever she was around him.

Like right now. She had to submit some files to one of their managers, on behalf of a co-worker who had called in sick. Things had gone well until she reached the office, when her phone started ringing.

She yelped when MAMA started playing out of nowhere and fumbled with her phone, her face heating up. She dismissed the call right as Chen began to sing, feeling even more embarrassed when she saw an adjacent practice room with its door open. And she had heard voices coming from it earlier.

“I’m sorry!” She called out nervously to the now quiet room as she shoved her phone back into her pocket. Please don’t be EXO, please don’t be EXO-

“Do you have a habit of stalking all your non-biases, or is it just me?”

SON OF A BITCH, YOU’RE HERE?!

Baekhyun slid into view, a shit eating grin on his face. “It seems we keep running into each other, stalker-ssi. Can you blame this on fate again?”

“Fortunately, I can,” Nandini grit her teeth, “Your manager asked me to submit these files to him, and I came here to do my job. Perhaps you’re the one who’s stalking me, hmm? Baekhyun-ssi?”

His grin grew wider. “Ah, but I’m doing my job here too! My band members and I need to discuss with our manager important things as well! Plus, I’m not the one who stalked you. Twice, if I may add.”

“Objection,” She said, “Stalking implies intent to harm or harass. I followed you, and that too only once.”

“So, our second meeting was just a series of coincidences, you say? We shopped at the exact same store, we had coffee in the exact same café, we were watching the exact same movie rerun-”

“Kimi No Na Wa is not a movie, it’s a religion, so excuse you-”

“And after all that noise you made, you still say I’m not your bias-”

“Thendi, you’re not even my bias wrecker, so stop day dreaming.”

Baekhyun snickered. “You keep following me everywhere, and yet you say I’m not your wrecker? Please, stalker-ssi, let me see a change in your behaviour, or admit that you stan me the most.”

Delaying her task further was increasing her chances of getting fired, and Nandini had no desire to achieve that. Meanwhile, some of the other members were peeping through the door curiously. “Move it, Baekhyun-ssi, I need to submit these documents now.”

“I’ll let you go if you come back and admit that I’m your bias.”

“Like hell!” She snarled.

“Time’s ticking, stalker-ssi~” Baekhyun practically sang in an annoying manner.

The things I do for money… “Fine I’ll do that, now let me go!” She groaned and raced to the door the moment he stepped aside. As she closed the door, she heard the boys laugh loudly as Baekhyun began rapidly speaking to them. The manager was talking to someone on the phone, so she waited.

And then she felt it again. She closed her eyes and concentrated. Sure enough, she clearly felt an energy spike coming from behind her. If she were to visualize it, she would see a bright white light nestled within the life force of the person emitting it.

Does he even know what he’s doing? Nandini winced as she felt it fluctuate and recede. As far as she could remember, none of the previous hosts had experienced this problem. She’d once read about a host who had tried to break the seal suppressing his power. That had ended with the host going mad and his power going out of control. As a child, it had been drilled into her head to never attempt to do away with magic you have no control over.

Well, it’s not like they’re ever going to believe that the tree of life is an actual thing, is it? And considering the situation, it’s best that they remain ignorant. Although… Her eye twitched when she heard Baekhyun perform an extremely vocal impression of their first meeting, I wouldn’t mind risking insanity if it means I find a more tolerable host…

A few months ago, Nandini had been making an impromptu trip to the bakery when she first felt the spike. It had flared so violently and suddenly that she’d nearly dropped her bagel and successfully spilt her coffee in alarm. After a brief lament over her loss, she had rushed outside to track the energy which was starting to fade.

The source of the spike turned out to be a tall man in a mask and a beanie, who she followed surreptitiously. The man had appeared aimless, and walked for a long time, traversing between crowded streets and finally moved into a secluded street, much to her relief. When she followed, she was immediately backed into a wall by the mystery man, who revealed himself to be none other than Byun Baekhyun.

Her face heated up as she remembered Baekhyun calling her a stalker – an accusation she vehemently denied – which lead to one of the most ridiculous arguments she had ever gotten into. Really, what was she supposed to say to a guy who was more offended at not being her bias than her supposedly stalking him?

“Nandini-ssi?” Her senior’s voice snapped her out of her reverie, making her straighten up.

…

The manager hummed as he set the file down. “Thank you, Nandini-ssi. You may go now.” She nodded and turned to leave.

Okay, maybe he’s forgotten I’m here? She thought as she tentatively closed the door. There was no one in the hallway aside from her. Good. Now I just have to leave quietly without being-

“Oh stalker-ssi!”

Ninakke vera pani ille myre?!

She remained perfectly still as she felt the weight of six stares upon her. Baekhyun bounded up to her gleefully.

“Well?” He said expectantly.

“Well what?” She grit her teeth, feeling slightly nauseous.

“Didn’t you agree that you’d admit something?” He said, “I believe it was something along the lines of “Baekhyun-ssi is my bias”, right?”

“Is it?” She grimaced, “I suppose I can’t back out of this now?”

“I have five witnesses, stalker-ssi~.”

“Poyi chavada myre.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing…” She took a deep breath, trying to ignore the nauseous feeling that was steadily building up. “Fine then…I hereby declare you my bias by coerc-” She began, and then collapsed onto him with a gasp.

At that precise moment the temperature rapidly dropped, and she felt a powerful energy surge come from the five men.

“Whoa,” Baekhyun said, no longer sounding amused as he tried to steady her, “Are you alright?”

“No!” She shouted as she sprang back, trying to calm herself. She looked at the men behind him and locked eyes with Xiumin, who looked both concerned and utterly bewildered.

Another one?! Another defective seal?! What the fuck?! And – hold on, is that frost underneath his feet?!

This was all too much for her. Mumbling something about the flu, she turned and ran to the elevator, ignoring the men calling after her.

…

Back in the comforts of her home, Nandini stared at the cloak on her bed.

It was plain black, with yellow lining and a hood. Sewn on the inside was the image of a four-pointed star, signifying her as a user of light. A smile appeared on her face as she remembered her days as a trainee, struggling with maintaining the light she channelled from her hands.

Like all the others, her parents had taken her to the tree of life when she was ten years old, to determine her affinity for the twelve forces. She remembered how her older sister and cousin brother kept teasing her about it, insisting that there was an obstacle test she had to take and how she had cried when they told her she’d be banished if she failed.

The relief that she felt when she was told that the test merely involved drinking some sort of potion knew no bounds. Well, at least until they told her she had to be injected with something to stabilize her. That had set off a fresh round of waterworks, and her parents had to coax her with promises of soan papdi and ice cream to calm her down.

The injection had hurt, and the symbol on her back had burned. Though it was all worth it to her ten-year-old self, who kept taunting her sister about how she had such a cool power and “Edthi your healing power is so lame! See, that’s what you get for lying to me! Amma, don’t give her any ice cream!”

“Amma, sharing is caring, don’t listen to her!”

“Mindathe irunillachal randu aalkum ice cream kittila, ketto?!”

She caught herself smiling when she glanced at her mirror. Those were the best moments in her life, back when controlling her powers was the most troublesome part of her life and they were all one happy family. Then she remembered her fight with her mother, and her smile faded.

It was no secret to any of her colleagues that Nandini was not close to her family. Part of the reason why she had moved to South Korea was because of her family and her ex. She could clearly remember the day she had stormed out of the house, with her mom screaming at her for being such a terrible daughter and how ashamed she was to be her mother from behind. Her sister and father had tried to reason with them that day, unsuccessfully.

If I can make sure the seals have been bound properly, then Baekhyun and Xiumin won’t be in danger of hurting themselves for the time being. I’ll have to check up on the others as well, just to be sure. There’s got to be at least one mage here that knows their way around seals, right?

She sighed, freeing her hair from its ponytail. Her long curly hair flowed downwards where it ended midback. Her big brown eyes looked dull, and the dark circles under her eyes were more prominent. I need a bath…

The frantic banging on her door suddenly snapped her out of her stupor. She quickly grabbed the cloak and shoved it into her wardrobe. The temperature around her dropped drastically, frost forming on the wood.

She carefully approached the living room, the faintest glimmer of light forming at her fingertips. The banging had not stopped, and she could sense a cold aura behind the door. They’d sent an ice mage after her, and only one at that. She grabbed the door knob with one hand, light forming in the other and pulled it open, preparing to strike.

One hundred and sixteen lbs of Xiumin stumbled onto her and they collapsed spectacularly on the floor.

“What the-get off me!” She shrieked and pushed him off. A part of her was relieved that the cult hadn’t tried to kill her, but her alarm was increasing at the ice forming on her carpet. “And get off my floor, you’re turning my apartment into an ice block!”

“You-” Xiumin said as he got up, his expression frantic. He hugged himself, staring at the ice in horror before looking at her, “What’s happening to me? Everything was normal this morning, I swear!”

He clutched his clothes as if they were his life line. “It was all fine until you and Baekhyun-ah had your stupid lovers’ spat, everything was perfectly normal! Then I touch my coffee and it becomes one big coffee ice cube! And then everything starts freezing and Junmyeon-ah somehow lifts all the water in our bottles-”

What?!

“-and then Baekhyun-ah just lights up like a star and Jongdae-ah causes a power shortage and no one has any fucking clue-”

Nandini just stared at him. Xiumin could have been screaming into a speaker for all he cared, and it would have still registered as white noise. His shirt was tugged to the side, exposing a good amount of his shoulder and the mark on it, a bright blue snowflake that proudly stood out against his skin.

The seal had completely broken.

“Stalker! Stalker! Stalker!” Nandini was rudely jerked back to earth when a hysterical Xiumin grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her. Instinctively she raised her hands, and a beam of light sent him flying backwards onto her door.

“FUCK!” She shrieked and ran to help him up. He appeared more shocked than hurt, if the rise in temperature was any indication. He gaped at her for a second or two, and then fainted.

“Good grief, you’re, ugh, heavy,” Nandini groaned as she slung his arm around her neck and tried to lift him up. She somehow dragged him over to the couch and laid him there before getting a glass of water from the kitchen.

She sprinkled some water on his face, making him groan.

“Stalker…?” He muttered weakly. Her eye twitched.

“Is saying ‘Nandini’ really that hard for you Koreans?” She said incredulously, trying to keep the irritation from showing on her face. “Don’t exert yourself,” She said when he tried to get up, “You’ve clearly had a rough day, and what I’m about to tell you will either make you faint or have you call me crazy.”

“Is it?” Xiumin looked wary. “I froze our office and my car today and saw Junmyeon-ah basically water-bend. How much crazier can it get?”

“Alright…” Nandini said, taking a deep breath. “Let’s see… Xiumin-ssi, tell me exactly what each member did. You said Suho was controlling the water?”

Xiumin nodded tentatively. “Junmyeon-ah made the water float without him even trying. When we saw what happened, Chanyeol-ah’s hand caught on fire. When I grabbed my coffee, it frosted over and became an ice block. Then Jongdae-ah did something that caused all the electricity to go out, and Baekhyun-ah literally lit up when he said he’d bring a flashlight.”

Ente bhagavane… She rubbed her temple with a groan. I’ll have to soften the blow. Maybe… “Xiumin-ssi…do you remember your debut song?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” He asked bemusedly.

“Do you or do you not remember?”

“Kind of…yeah, I remember MAMA.”

“And you remember the concept?”

“Not really…?”

Boy, this may take a while. “Well…the MAMA MV was based on supernatural powers-”

His eyes widened. “Oh, I remember now! Something about the tree of life and legends splitting into twelve powers and the red force of evil-”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard the darkness being called that.” She muttered wryly.

“-and we had to do that English chant while wearing those cloaks, “Careless, careless, shoot anonymous’-”

“Hang on, you remember that stupid chant, but you don’t remember the cult concept?”

“-and we all had supernatural abilities which we used for the Power MV, which you could have used as a better example because I clearly remember that one more than MAMA, by the way.”

“Did you forget Power doesn’t have any of your Chinese members, genius?”

“And what do they have to do with any of this?” He asked incredulously, “Yixing-ah, I understand, but the other three left us.”

She ignored the pang she felt at the slight bitterness in the tone. “That, we’ll come to in a bit…so you remember your assigned powers?”

Xiumin looked bewildered. “You can just use google, you know…”

“I’m doing this for all twelve of you, marshmallow, work with me!”

“Marshmallow?” Xiumin bit his lip in amusement, which Nandini pointedly ignored, “Damn it stalker, how can someone so talented come up with insults so childish?”

“That’s not the point!” Nandini swatted her hand at him irritably. He dodged it with a laugh, a definitely non-endearing, adorable laugh.

“Then, what is the point, stalker?” He grinned at her, “You’ve been beating around the bush so long, I can’t make head or tail of what you’re telling me!”

“Oh, this is definitely going to take a while…”

…

We’ve apprehended Huang Zitao.

“Excellent.” The woman in the black cloak spoke, staring at the apartment window. “And Lu Han?”

He’s putting up a bit of a fight. He’s figured out how to use his powers, but he’s untrained. We can handle it.

“Good.” She murmured and turned to her companion, a burly man wearing the same cloak as her. “Is this where she lives?”

The man nodded. “I saw a man barge into her apartment some time earlier. She said he was freaking out and freezing everything that he touched.”

“It must be Xiumin for sure.” She said quietly. “None of our ice mages are untrained, and the children have not reached that stage yet. Let us proceed.”

A/N: 

“Ninakke vera pani ille myre” = don’t you have any other work to do, ‘myre’ means pubic hair (obviously a swear word)

“Poyi chavada thendi” go die bastard

“Mindathe irunillachal randu aalkum ice cream kittila, ketto?!” = if you don’t keep quiet the both of you won’t get any ice cream, got it?!

Amma is the malayalam word for mother

“Ente Bhagavane” = Oh my God

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo ot12 #kim minseok #xiumin #kim junmyeon #suho #zhang yixing #lay #kim jongdae #chen #park chanyeol #chanyeol #byun baekhyun #baekhyun #do kyungsoo #d.o #kim jongin #kai #oh sehun #sehun

[violetsystems]

#personal

There’s a point where you are pushing a boulder uphill where you actually think you’re pushing it over the top.  You look up.  You look down.  There’s this exact even point between joy and dread where you don’t know which way it will go.  Seeing as how it’s an exact middle point you expect it to pass.  Like this whole process goes on for a year and you emerge mentally “over it.”  You expect something to change outside of your skill at rolling the boulder.  You say to yourself that you can keep doing this all day like some juiced up eighties American action hero.  And then you look up and down again to observe your process.  It’s still limbo.  You might even become strong enough to maintain this mirage of an ascent while doing other things.  Watching a movie or a television show.  Play a game on your phone.  But the boulder is always there.  The positioning is different these days.  It feels like I keep pushing the boulder and the hill keeps stretching.  Like there’s a bulldozer dumping other people’s shit onto the incline.  Which makes it seem I’m climbing up a relentless garbage pile of other people’s baggage, perceptions, and detritus.  This is essentially true particularly in the city I live in.  Which mind you living in a city is much closer to the edge than where I came from.  I lived in the suburbs for half my life.  It felt like the bottom.  An Irish and Italian Catholic suburb plagued by hard drugs and abuse.  I eventually found a job in the city through my friends at the time.  And later I eventually found a place to live.  And I have lived in this city long enough to know there isn’t really something wrong with me.  The incline is easy enough but sinking in other people’s shit seems to be the norm.  Around here whether it’s Chicago or America, people like to disarm you by making your priorities seem selfish.  We’re all in this together after all.  In times of crisis, we pull together and help our own.  Which is a reminder that for about a year I’ve been isolated taking care of my own.  I spent about as much time per day trying to engage people on LinkedIn without any real success.  It is place where I feel I’m successful at showing the professional side of me.  Sort of like Tumblr is a place I feel like I’m successful showing the human and empathic side of me.  Which one feels like the boulder?  After all the years I’ve spent writing to the void here, I’ve seen a connection.  Expecting too much is what shatters hopes and dreams.  But I have spent a really long time expecting the very least and being given less.  In a twisted turn of fate, I have a lot more financially than I may have in my previous life.  To have to label it previous is a sure sign I stopped pushing that boulder a long time ago.  I was forced to.  Left with a realization that the world is bigger than this and yet I can’t seem to escape it.  I played a game of magic yesterday online.  Sometimes lately the player names are a little too telling.  I had just built a Tiamat deck so I tested it out in Standard Ranked.  The username popped up as “Escapeurf8yt.”  I quit Hearthstone for less.  The last two games I played in that Blizzard game were so sus that the player names were meant to trigger me.  That last match was against a player named “Imcomingforyou.”   Nerds aren’t the most delicate when they have their chance to wield power.  I won the Tiamat game without even having to play Tiamat.  But it left me with a similar feeling.  Why do I try to be part of things that don’t have any real modicum of respect for other people’s feelings and identity?  

That example could be chalked up as being a little too sensitive I guess.  Every time I walk around the neighborhood lately it’s like I have to tiptoe around people’s feelings.  I’ve gotten mad at my situation more times than I can count the last year.  Anybody would.  I lost all my ground.  I lost everything and yet gained something in the process.  People whispered behind my back and watched.  Looking for clues to pin the blame on my downfall on me.  And yet for all the new things I tried and did to survive, I’m still pushing the same generic boulder to most people.  I’m not even good enough to be recognized as a writer by the broad public.  I’m some sneaky individual that everyone feels it’s their duty to check up on at the expense of my civil rights and general mood.  The gaslighting is at the very center.  That nobody wants to address the elephant in the room.  They can’t really.  And maybe it’s for the best.  Because the way I see everything from the inside out is troubling.  Nothing has returned to normal.  People’s privilege has been laid bare and somehow everyone is looking for the scapegoat to deflect the blame.  I’m sick of it.  Everybody being so nosy and confrontational with nothing to offer expect a bad attitude and a jokey stare.  This is why I no longer go out for anything other than groceries.  Why I decide to have things delivered instead of having to participate in a clown show parade of well intended bullshit.  Why everybody speaks for me when no one has spoken a kind word to me at all.  Everybody expects me to reach out and fix the trust they broke with me.  And it gets sadder and sadder that people don’t understand that I’m pretty much a boarded up house at this point.  Living in a little shack enclosed by people’s expectations and barriers.  Time just keeps passing.  People do keep reading.  But here is where I feel people have the most context at how horrible I feel after all of this.  Some of it is for the best.  The community people ask for in the real world without deserving it is non existent or coerced.  I know this because I’ve been welcome down here in the bowels of the internet.  You don’t expect the community here to cross the line.  Even when it does, it is a more delicate and slow process how you let people into your life.  In the real world, it’s abrasive, clumsy and inconsiderate.  And I dance around it all just the same.  But there’s a point when it just becomes macabre.  People out there might say they know me.  But I’m the one out here alone constantly.  I have a full year to prove it.  More than that to be honest.  I just gave up on trying to figure out everything that happened before that.  I’ve lost my own history in that regard.  I will never reboot my dj career.  I will never be accepted as a writer.  I will never be good enough to be called an artist.  I remember this intense discussion I had with an ex during a break up.  We were living together at the time.  We had been together for about a decade at that point.  We lived in the eastern side of this neighborhood at the time.  It was designated by the developer as an artist’s neighborhood.  My girlfriend at the time was a photographer.  I was mostly her assistant.  I paid most of the rent.  We were at a crossroads.  She cheated on me in front of my face in front of our house.  Even after telling her to go, she wouldn’t leave.  She told me to my face that I didn’t belong there because I wasn’t an artist.  I also gave up my car in that breakup.  I’m realizing just recently the reason I never renewed my driver’s license was because I knew I would never afford a car again after I lost that one.  Which is a great thing to remember when State officials yell at you asking why you haven’t renewed it.

The world says it gives a fuck.  It doesn’t show it.  It doesn’t act.  If it did we would never be in this situation.  I know this because I was born to survive.  I have pushed many boulders up many hills.  So much so that I’m grey and over the hill.  And apparently completely fucking meaningless to most people.  Only good enough to speak through T-shirts and guerilla marketing.  There’s a level beyond that I know.  There are people that actually care but the situation is impossible at best.  I’m supposed to see this and accept this out of love, care and attention.  And for a few people I barely know, I do.  The person I care about the most probably knows this too.  But I don’t know anything.  It’s blind faith.  Which is saying a lot for spending two paragraphs saying I have faith in nothing around me.  I don’t,  That’s the curse.  Seeing it how it really is.  Knowing you’ve spent half your life pushing up a boulder for other people that wasn’t worth the slough.  I gained some muscle mass.  Some context to my backstory.  But my life is dead in the fucking water aside from having actual net income.  Kanye and Trump are cash poor.  This is just a fact.  I’m not.  And yet nothing has changed.  There’s no end in sight to where I need to be a year later.  Just the same disrespectful shit.  How I’m supposed to sacrifice my humanity for some rich people’s game with my emotions.  The world uses you, eats you up and spits you out.  If you are lucky to survive this you’d be me.  Has anyone out there really thought about how I feel after all of this?  How dark it must be to know the real truth and keep pushing that boulder just the same?  How tiring and exhausting it feels to be able to write it so delicately but still be so fucking misunderstood just the same?  Is my life just to be joked about backstage as some quirky subplot to steal ideas from?  You cannot be me after all of this.  I will remind you on my very last breath.  And every day that passes is a reminder that you’ve tried.  People have tried to say they know me.  People have tried to say they speak for me.  Understand my pain.  And yet I’m never good enough to acknowledge.  I’m invisible and supposedly this is my thing.  In that case it is.  From this day forward.  Let’s not beat around the fucking bush.  I got here on my own.  I bled, I cried, I screamed and I retreated into the inevitable.  How does anyone expect me to feel if I’m supposed to accept what I accept and know what I know.  I don’t really know.  I feel awful.  I feel broken.  And I feel like everyone who cares about me knows this by now.  And the stakes are higher than my personal feelings about it all.  But my words are meant for people who read them to understand me better for the love of it.  Not to get a jump on me.  Not to subvert me.  Not to teach me a lesson or use me as a stereotype.  Not to be a punching bag or scapegoat for communities who would rather burn me at the stake than hear what I have to say.  In that you will forever fail.  I love the culture that swirls down here.  I love how hardcore it is without pinging the radar for the vultures and the marketing teams.  And yet we have this power that still goes ignored.  Gets laughed at.  Joked about.  Talked over because people are vapid, bored and only succeed by watching other’s fail.  I dropped that boulder a long time ago.  It apparently has not smashed the opposition yet.  It is a long way down as it’s been a long way up.  Tough at the top for sure.  But there’s only room enough up here for two.  And that seat is taken.  <3 Tim

[moxiegirlsfightback]

can i still be a feminist even if i don't like the idea of abortion?

Hi! I’m really glad you asked this question. I have lots of friends who help me answer questions the Moxie Tumblr receives, but I want you to know this is me, Jennifer, the author of Moxie answering you directly! 

The reason I wanted to write you is I think I know where you are coming from. I was raised in a pro-life household and when I was younger, I even participated in the March for Life. I didn’t like the idea of abortion either, and when I got to college and started to identify as a feminist, I was conflicted because all the feminists I knew were pro-choice. Fortunately, I had some women’s studies professors who took the time to talk to me and listen to me and not shame me for my opinions. I want to answer your question with a lot of sensitivity and compassion just as they answered my questions 20 years ago!

Today, I firmly believe that abortion has to be accessible and legal, and I donate money to organizations that work to make that happen. My feelings on abortion changed slowly over many years, but they really started to change when I met women who had them or had them after we became friends. My friends who had abortions in college and later on were good, kind, sensitive women, most of whom went on to become mothers later on in life. None of them went on to regret their abortions although I know that some women sometimes do. I think that’s because they had the procedure freely and willingly and were not coerced. In speaking with them, abortion became some real and actual, not theoretical, and I was forced to really grapple with my beliefs. And over time I began to realize how important it is for women to have access to this procedure. I also began to realize that limiting or criminalizing this procedure is not a solution. Whether or not you are morally opposed to abortion, history reveals that when women have not had legal, safe access to abortion, women die and criminals profit. Criminalizing abortion is the worst possible way to reduce abortion. It just doesn’t work.Something I’d like to focus on is what we have in common. As feminists we can all work together to decrease the need for abortions by advocating for increased access to birth control, contraceptives, child care, a living wage, and comprehensive education. We believe these are the best, most effective ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies and that they benefit both the people who use them and society at large. As feminists we should clearly stand up and say that a woman should never have to have an abortion simply because she doesn’t know how to pay for diapers or day care, and a woman should never be coerced into an abortion by a parent or a partner! So as feminists, we can all band together on this front. 

However, I believe we must also recognize that even if all the precautionary steps are taken, an unwanted pregnancy can still happen. Failure of birth control, while very rare, can still happen. We have to recognize that there are many extenuating circumstances under which an unwanted pregnancy can happen too, like rape. We have to recognize that a wanted pregnancy can become difficult or impossible to carry to term, like when the fetus will be born dead or with life-threatening conditions, or when the pregnant person will suffer health consequences, even fatal. I recently had a good friend who had to have a late term abortion of a child she very much wanted because the pregnancy was incompatible with life. You can read about her experiences here if you’d like. Even if precautionary steps aren’t taken under otherwise totally normal circumstances, that doesn’t mean that someone deserves the pregnancy or should be forced to carry it to term. It doesn’t mean someone should be forced to sacrifice almost all their well being, their time, their resources, their strength, and their life for something they don’t want to or can’t sustain. Consent to sex is not consent to pregnancy just like consent to foreplay isn’t consent to oral sex isn’t consent to penetration, and so on. That’s not how consent works. It may be surprising, but when I became pregnant, I actually became more passionate about making sure women should have access to abortion because I realized the enormous responsibility I was undertaking by becoming a mother. Foisting pregnancy and parenthood onto someone who simply isn’t ready isn’t ethical or fair to anyone involved. And while adoption is definitely an option (my husband is adopted, so I’m super pro-adoption), forcing someone into this choice by limiting access to abortion isn’t a healthy way to begin the adoption journey.Most people don’t like the idea of abortion, including people who are pro-choice. For many, abortion is upsetting, it’s hard, it’s draining, it’s scary. But abortions have been part of women’s healthcare since before we even had a word for it, and we also have to acknowledge that many women experience relief and gratitude after their abortions and go on to enjoy motherhood when they are ready. This has been true for the ten plus women I know personally who have had abortions.You don’t have to “like” the idea of abortions to be a feminist. You don’t have to have one, ever, if you don’t want to. I think you only have to recognize that it’s not your choice, or anyone else’s choice, to make for someone else and that limiting safe access to this procedure won’t help reduce abortions I highly encourage a viewing of the movie Obvious Child, which is (I swear) a funny movie about abortion.  And I highly recommend a book called Abortion and Life by Jennifer Baumgardner that tackles some of the stuff I’ve discussed here. Thank you so much for writing to me and for asking this important question!xojennifer

[softnorwegians]

Some asks that I’m answering all together because I don’t have much to say and didn’t necessarily want to put them all on people’s dashes:

I just rewatched Season 2 and I‘m asking myself why I liked Noora that much. Besides the whole William thing. What he did to Vilde was so gross and he did not change. And let’s be hones, what happend to Noora when she was young was what William did to Vilde. Besides that. When she just directly shows Eva the tabs on Isaks Phone and talks about him and Sara in such a judgmental and mean way. And the whole Syria Crisis thing was so awkward, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to seem better 1\

2 than Eskild. And how she kissed Yousef even though she was so sure that Sana fancied him. And why? Because Sana did not tell her William had a new girlfriend. But in season 2 Noora doesn’t tell Eva about Jonas new girlfriend for a while. She tells her right before Eva and her go to the party where Jonas and his girlfriend are too. Ugh Noora in season 1 was awesome but they completely destroyed her character.

Yeah, tbh Noora was never one of my favorites? Maybe because I try to live-and-let-live and not get too judgmental so it’s extra painful to see someone failing at that. I think Noora is realistic and sometimes relatable but it can be a little hard to watch, hahaha.

I was always okay with Noora until s4 though! I absolutely got completely sick of her during s4, ajhksjf. I don’t hold kissing Yousef against her because I like to pretend that just didn’t happen but I was exhausted by how much we were seeing and hearing about her.

I’m confused as to why people are upset about William getting mad at Noora when he thought she slept with Nikolai?? Unless I’m remembering it wrong, he asked her “did you sleep with my brother” and she responded with “I don’t know” and he stormed off. That definitely doesn’t seem like an overreaction to me, just miscommunication as to what happened and what exactly Noora didn’t know (whether she was raped or not vs. whether she had consensual with him or not)

Well, “I don’t know” is an answer that doesn’t really make sense when related to the question of having sex so I think people felt like it was little ‘eh’ to not pick up on the undercurrent of what she was saying with it. But yeah, I’m not holding his initial reaction against him. It’s when he gets the texts that I’m like “...what”.

just saw this in the tag "blackmail? lol she doesn't have to go on the date. all she had to do was say "hell no" and then tell vilde what happened. it's not that serious". why did society teach us it's desirable for a man to never stop even if you say no to him, that if he just keeps pushing you'll see the light eventually. it's also funny that france leaked a key episode again to create hype. there's no way it isn't intential. i guess at least Italy will get s3 since they're in Oslo now *sighs*

I probably should have addressed more about Noora agreeing to the date but oh well. ...I have an allergic reaction to “s3” and “remake” in the same sentence. It’s making me not want to watch any of the remakes any farther, tbh.

one thing is also that he doesn't say it in a joking way, he sounds serious and it's very bad directed if that line was supposed to be a cute way of asking for consent.

Yeah, agreed, like I don’t get that at all from the line. It’s more what I figure it has to be.

If you look past how unnecessary annoying and obsessed Julie made Vilde (to a point some people probably thought it all was Vilde and not William), she also had a pattern with Norh*lm. His friends get beat up instead of him, he acts like 180, Noora doesn't owe him. He gets mad and hurt when she tells the truth, he walks away and she lays it out again but she kisses him. She doesn't know if she was assaulted but she has to get him back when he's been hurt. What a mess but boyfriend goalz!

I’m tired.

If it's hard to see how Wilhelm pressured Noora then switch it out to be about sex or coming out of the closet and add in how everything affects Vilde with her eating disorder and fragilness with her feelings then perhaps it's clear as a day.

Sorry, I’m not quite following this one! But I feel like I would support you. 😁

I don't see why peolke think william changes in s2? He gets points from his fans that he stops sleeping with girls, is gentle and soft (Vilde said he was that and that's why she fell back to her, NHs must really dislike Vilde in the 2.8 scene), doesn't pressure her with sex after she says she wants to wait, doesn't read her messages, finishes her essay while she's sleeping after a panic attack and GOSH doesn't leave his love in that state to party hard. Then ignores/levavs her when he finds out.

I’m still with Vilde, she deserved better than William and why isn’t that true for Noora too?

I would actually say literally nothing I hate about willhelm (besides not using a condom) is stuff heard via rumors and gossip and actually just through stuff he actually does onscreen lol. Also even if He never would've actually told Vilde about what happened threatening to do so isn't any better sorry

I just really hate in general that he’s leveraging something to get to Noora. I mean, she does agree to this date (offscreen) but even then, it was a bargain and not because she actually wanted to be there. What kind of “date” is that. I just hate seeing that in any context, a woman coerced into a “romantic” situation.

“Take Vilde, she reveals he was loyal, caring and gentle when they had sex beforehand we were made to believe the opposite was true”..Um and then he slept with every girl in school. I mean sleep with whoever you want, however many people you want but being gentle and nice in sex doesn’t mean your a good person. That is the opposite of loyal.... I don’t even hate William honestly think I hate Noora more but the pro side always reaches so hard only people who reach more are the Jonas haters.

Oh, yes, I didn’t comment on that but the “loyal” definitely doesn’t apply.

I agree we should have gotten way more Vilde and Even content and way less Noora and William drama. I hated the way Vilde was portrayed(the comments she made about Sana to the Pepsi max girls and just some stuff she did/said we’re not cool and I didn’t like that it was kinda brushed aside)and don’t get me started on the lack of Even. He was(I’m assuming)a big part of her life, he was best friends with her brother and was probably around a lot and we just didn’t get the storyline they deserved.

*pours one out for the s4 we imagined during the hiatus* 

Common trauma? Amazing how William knows Noora doesn't feel loved and left by her parents yet he shuts her out and leaves her after he's seen her having a panic attack when she can't breathe and says she feels as if she's going to die over something she isn't ready to share yet. And this is supposed to be a desirable relationship? At least they are attractive? But attractive white fuckboys have always gotten what they point at.

Yeahhhhhhhh, it really does make it harder to excuse what he does when he knows something is wrong and she’s actually pretty upfront with “there’s something I have to tell you but can’t yet”.

it's amazing how most 18/19 are decent at that age and you get to vote, drive and drink, but if you are a rich badboy you have a right to act however you want and people must forgive you in the end. since julie never made his bff chris be more than a second supporting character, why couldn't he be the huge asshole instead and wilhelm had to be torn with his loyalty? then I rmbr the blackmail date did so he missed defending his boys, tg s1 didn't say it was the date's fault he wasn't there! 😊

I don’t even mind that they started William out as an asshole, they just went too far with it imho and never pointed out “this behavior is wrong and we know it” and he never had to atone or redeem himself for what he did.

n8rhelm is supposed to be the classic hate to love story, there's a million movies but ive never seen one where the person is terrible to the love interest and manipulate them like this. also william is a really weak actor, don't know if that doesn't translate,all he have is his looks and glaring stares. he couldn't even deliver pretending to be a bad actor with niko there or when he tells nooea to be quick with the water. he has no timing or natrualness, only kisses and react n's great acting

I find Thomas Hayes to be... not a great actor but also not completely terrible? There’s some scenes I buy him (the marching band scene where he’s rolling his eyes I remember as good?) but he doesn’t bring a lot sometimes. idk.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “(1) ok I’m pro-noorhelm and arguing via ask is hard with a limit and I…”

And whenever Noora talks about his good qualities and whatnot, we never really get to see them. It’s all off screen. It would be easier to forgive him if we actually got to see his change, but ah well

☝ I think that would really improve things, tbh.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “the funniest argument to me used by noorh*lm stans in excusing his…”

It also perpetuates the idea that ‘no means convince me’ and that’s farked up

Ugh, yeah. That’s one of the more depressing undercurrents of s2.

daigina replied to your post “1)The truth is really in the eyes of the beholder , you guys don’t…”

I agree it’s a good move with William but it does nothing to resolve the major problem with him that season which is how he treated Noora with no discussion or explanation or apology at all. If that detail had been fitted into even a short discussion between the two over all of THAT in Williams clip that would have been soooo nice

Also that was such a tiny thing?? Like they didn’t even spare two seconds of dialogue on it, it’s barely there. If you need a magnifying glass to see character development, does it count?

Yeah, I liked that lawyer detail but it really was such a last minute, supplementary thing!

i still think julie had no idea what the fight was about in s4 or changed her mind when someone was coming back. we knew she rewrote and missed gullruten, several norwiegians reported on rumors at the time that she bearly had written the last episode when it was time for recording. she wrote the fan fave to have an unprovoked violent moments just in time to bring back the one who everyone complained had hit someone with a bottle. and how could yousef've been so wrong about what happened at bakka

oh god, let’s not even get started. it just makes me sad to think about how thrown together s4 wound up being.

Hi. Is it true that skam italia is using a white actress to play Sana, a muslim character?If so, it is wrong in so many levels, tbh!

I believe the actress is white and isn’t a muslim. And yeah, nagl. 

I feel like that with skam france they have the intention to do a season 3 and want it to start in autumn to align with the original series. I’m not saying I agree or like this tactic but it seems to make the most sense of why. Sure the time span is short between 1 and 2 but it’s not the most unrealistic. The director said he went on this project because of season 3 especially so I guess that’s why I think it’s like this. It would be more odd for Lucas to move in to the flat during the year.

Oh god... sorry, not you, I’m just at the point where I really don’t like being reminded that season three will ever be remade anywhere.

#anon #replies #skam

[antizah]

Sex talk within Parents and Kids......

Lets talk about sex baby lets talk about it and push it baby babe push…” Does anyone  remember this song? l still remember  it playing on radio and one time when my friend borrowed me her Push It Baby record by TLC .  Ngangi busy bantu ngicula ngizekelisa lami engangibona kusenziwa ngabanye meanwhile my father who was a wonderful man, was standing by the door watching, well you can imagine the outcome hahahaha. With his eyes directly on me, he said in a calm voice “Kuphushwani ke lapha? Ngibuzela ukuthi lami ngithi uku-understander, l will love for you ukuthi ungichazele.

I tried to explain and justify myself but as you all know parents are much clever than we gave them credit for when we were young. That music too opened the floor for a discussion that contributed tremendously to who l am today. It led to the SEX talk with my father, as hard as it is to believe coming from a women, within my culture its considered taboo for fathers to talk about sex with their daughters. My sex talk with my dad was very worth it and I want to use this platform to pass on that wisdom to you guys.

 Why is it so difficult for abazali to have a conversation labantwana babo about this topic. Kwenziwa ngamahloni, yikuhlonipha or is it just fear of the unknown? From an African perspective I know that our culture also plays a significant role in this taboo. Some parents have a belief that when one talks about SEX to their teenagers, then uyabe esemvulele umnyango wokuthi abengunondindwa. Thina sisakhula amankazana ayehanjiswa kubo babakazi or omam’oncane siye hlaliswa phansi siboniswe ngokukhula lendaba zocansi.

However, in this generation that tradition has died off meaning if parents are afraid to rise to the occasion and discuss about sex with their own children, who is doing that?

 One of my reasons for writing about this topic is because most parents are not aware that nowadays sex education is done in schools, but it’s not done in depth. This means parents still need to tackle that topic themselves. When is the right time to talk about it as parents and being aware again that nothing is wrong having that conversation with your kids. As uncomfortable as it maybe, parents need to bear in mind that it is better for a child to hear that talk from his or her parents than to get a wrong information from a corrupt alternative source. It’s not only about sex but being an open-minded parent that your child can ask anything without fearing that you will over react and scold them.

 I know our culture do hinder us from breaking certain social norms. These norms have been in our society far too long without really benefiting or helping educate our kids to make well informed decisions regarding all things related to sex. We all know that teen pregnancy is on the rise in our society only because we don’t want to adopt progressive methods that can help our kids to make better choices and prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexual transmitted diseases.

 For every parent, the age for sex talk with their kids differs, some might want to talk when the child enters puberty, others may start earlier as long as you talk to your child before it’s too late. Bakhula ngokwehlukeneyo abantwana BUT both go through puberty stage where hormones kick in akukhethelekile ukuthi yintombazane or umfana uzwa abadala bethi yistage but how do you address istage which is the most important part of every growing child.

Ukuthula kuletha inyembezi later and asiyekeni lento yokuthi umntwana kumele abengumntwana forever until umzali esekubona yena ukuthi usekhulile. We tend to forget that imizwa lokunye akulindi umzali ukuthi ngesikhathi sakhe sokuthi usekhulile ungabi lenhloni ukuthi umntwana akubuze kanti njalo lawe mzali ungabi lenhloni ukuphendula. Abanye babuye bathi ukukhuluma lomntwana kuzoletha ukungahlonitshwa but let us be honest the moment you don’t have that open dialogue kulapho okuqala khona uhlupho. Having an open discussion lengane yakho kuphakamisa izinga lokuthembana njalo kusondeza umzali lengane eduze.

Uyakhuluma yini, about how wena loyise or lonina lahlangana njani kuphi and yini elibona kungani ngabe lalikwazi before ngabe alikwenzanga or ngabe lakwenza ngcono, those advantage and disadvantages of before or after.

 Bangaki abazali namhlanje abathi they wish their parents could have spoken to them about sex and if they did ngabe impilo zabo zabangcono kakhulu and they would have made better choices within their lives. The pregnancy rate within our black society is appalling and way too higher than other races where parents tend to give their children sex education. Laba abamhlophe why is that?..... kubo kungani kunganeno bona kanti kuyini abakwenzayo ngcono ukuze lathi sikufunde.

Mostly is still the above communication within umzali lomntwana.

Bazali asithi ulomntwana oyintombazana usezongena kustage sokuphuhla, istage se-menstruation and those changes emzimbeni wakhe umntwana ufuna ukwazi ukuba leligazi livela ngaphi and wenzani lapho esekuleso stage, she needs to know what to use and how to use that particular thing othi ayisebenzise. Ayikho into ebuhlungu nje ngokuthi umzali wakho acabangele ukuba uzobuza kwabanye or acabangele ukuba uyakufundiswa esikolo and think is not necessary to give a child at least five minutes to discuss anything ngoba elamahloni or ecabangela.

Kulapho ke umntwana asuka ayendinga izaluleko lokuboniswa. Akukhethelekile ukuba ngubani okhuluma laye umama or ubaba, udadewabo kumbe ugogo, lakhona if she is lucky to have labo bantu emndenini. What about those who have no grown ups to talk too or those who have one parent nokunjalo bayakundinga ukuba labo baxhwayiswe ngakho. If you are a single parent kulapho omalume lezinye izinhlobo ezingena khona zikuncende kanti ke lamagroup enkozweni lawo ayasiza.

  Kukhona abanye abathi mina ngabe umzali wami gave me a little bit of knowledge or shared his or her own mistakes ngabe lami angizange ngenza the same mistakes and l mean real detailed and informative sex talk not that African style talk that happens when umzali esuke wabona umtanakhe ekhoneni  emi lomfana or intombazana ke lapho akusakhulunywa usethethiswa ngakho – I mean HELLO! Uyakhula umntwana vele besizofika isikhathi lapho azoma or azomiswa khona why not prepare her or him for that time.

 Umfana kuya fika lapho okuthiwa ubhoboka ivoice and usevuka emanzi that also on its own is a shock emntwaneni uzondinga umuntu azokhuluma laye ngakho njalo. Kufike njalo istage sokuthi ufikelwa yimizwa again udinga ukwazi ukuba wenzani ngakho but unfortunately with our culture and norms uthola ukuthi no one will speak about it. We just pretend that akwenzakali but the truth be told kulapho esizwa kuthiwa umntwana ongumfana usuke wabamba umntwana wa-next door or kanye owangekhaya and also this happens a lot but again sikuthanyelela ngaphansi sithi it cannot happen and sibe labantwana bakhula being subjected to sexual abuse from their own family members that never gets addressed too but this a whole different topic for another day.

 Here’s a break down of things to discuss and pay attention to during or after the sex talk:

1.     Discuss about condoms and how they are used and why and again providing condoms to your teen children is not about promoting sex bantu but it is about prevention of sexual transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies

2.     Taking your daughter to sex clinic so to be told about prevention is not about pregnant promotion but is about ukuqabela isisu esingekho planned. Kungangcono umtshele athi lalapho emitha kube yikuba umtshelile than to start talking about it after the demage have been done.

3.     If your child is dating, they should introduce you to the person they are dating, this encourages both of them to be accountable and make better choices because they will honor your trust and not want to disappoint you. It may seem absurd but do you realise that not giving your children “permission” to date wont stop them from dating behind your back. I don’t know about you but I think it’s better for me to know who my child is dating and I can access that he or she is age appropriate or even someone I approve of.

4.     Allow your child time to hang out with her friends and do innocent things like go to the mall and watch a movie with friends, have a sleep over at a trusted friend’s house, go out for ice cream. You just need to set a curfew of when they must be back. This is important because your child will feel that you trust them to make good choices in your absence.

Kids who are allowed leisure time will not be easily coerced to have sugar daddies because they will be already familiar with things sugar daddies use to coerce them into pedophilic sexual relationships

5.     Share your own experiences, keep the floor open for discussions and future questions and most importantly set child set goals with your child. Ask them to envision what type of marriage they want in the future, what career and to think about the choices he/she personally will make for themself in order to accomplish that. That way children will feel that they are making choices for themselves in life and not you being a helicopter parent. This highly reduces rebellion.

 In conclusion asifundeni bazali labazalisi to be open towards those issues we keep undressed towards our kids.  l have learnt that nothing is new under the sun and all things that we go through in life it has already happened before and uyazi akuqali ngathi kanti njalo akuzi kucina njalo, is a circle of life.

[curtashiism]

Is Gaston a Sociopath?

While researching the traits typical sociopaths and psychopaths display, I realized that 2017!Gaston fits almost all the traits listed. In my opinion, Gaston is one of two things:

1. He is an actual sociopath, I.E., someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder, or;

2. Gaston’s PTSD has presented in such a way that he has antisocial traits, but he lacks some of the necessary qualifiers to be a sociopath.

This mostly depends on one thing we will never know- if Gaston had these traits in childhood or not. ASD requires the traits to have been present before age 14, though it can’t be diagnosed until adulthood, Since we don’t know which of the two it is, I will use the term sociopath regardless, but please do note I am aware it could possibly be a matter of PTSD as well.

Also, I am not an expert in psychology; this was done after a bit of research, but that’s it. Please don’t use this to, IDK, diagnose yourself or anything. I’m also not saying this is absolutely 100% truth, rather that this is what I took away from 2017 Gaston.

So, firstly, what IS a sociopath? The terms ‘sociopath’ and ‘psychopath’ are considered close to synonyms according to the sources I read; the main difference appears to be that sociopathy is essentially a less severe form of psychopathy. Sociopaths have some amount of conscience, and are capable of forming bonds while psychopaths cannot. Despite Gaston’s betrayal of Lefou, their long-lasting friendship suggests that Gaston is not severely antisocial enough to be a psychopath.

Now, that definition is of course rather general. But there are a few classic traits that sociopaths are noted to have, and this will be far more useful in parsing Gaston’s behavior in the movie. Credit goes to SociopathicStyle for their list, which has been immensely helpful for me in making this post. 

So, then, here are the traits, whether or not Gaston fits them, and if so, when and why.

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything.  A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

Quite simply... Yes. Gaston is all of these. He has a remarkable ability to get people on his side when by all rights they shouldn’t be. He got an angry mob started in less than a minute by appealing to their fear.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

This is Gaston to a T, throughout the whole movie. He sees himself as the best of everything; he is god’s gift not just to women, but to mankind as a whole. He thinks he is the smartest, strongest, sexiest, EVERYTHING.

NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

Also a yes. Gaston feels lost without war to create excitement in his life; he wants Belle because pursuing her gives him a thrill, not because he wants companionship. He refuses women who actually do want him because it’s not enough of a challenge. Further, his attempt to kill the beast was clearly equal parts jealousy and desiring an exciting fight/hunt.

PATHOLOGICAL LYING — Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

Yes. He is a master of lying and pretending; he pretends to care about Belle’s wellbeing to try and gain Maurice’s favor, he lies to the villagers about his attempted murder of Maurice, etc.

CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS — The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

Also a yes. He effortlessly- and remorselessly- manipulates Lefou into lying for him.

LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

Indeed. He never once showed any concern regarding what he did to Maurice; his only concern was for himself when he appeared to have been caught. He didn’t show any remorse for threatening to have Lefou locked up, nor for abandoning him while he was being attacked. Gaston only feels regret if something doesn’t go his way, not remorse or guilt.

SHALLOW AFFECT — Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

Very, very much. He doesn’t have any comprehension of what romance entails, to begin with. The main reason he likes his best friend is that Lefou constantly sings his praises, not because of any of Lefou’s actual qualities. He does seem to feel a wider range of anger-type emotions, but even then, it explodes from him when he’s provoked, and the rest of the time he returns to that shallow affect.

CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

Oh so much. He doesn’t consider Belle’s feelings towards a potential marriage; he mocks three women right in front of them when Lefou suggests marrying one of them. When he abandons Lefou, he says to his face that he won’t help him, even though telling him that takes as long as it would to actually help.

PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

I can’t say yes for sure, but this does seem to be implied with how Lefou seems to be responsible for managing him emotionally. It wouldn’t surprise me if that extended further. It’s worth mentioning that he does steal a bouquet of flowers in the beginning, as well.

POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

That’s Gaston in a nutshell. I can’t even list all the instances he does things like this; it’s pretty much the whole movie.

PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

Gaston does fit the “a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity” bit, but otherwise, no. It wouldn’t surprise me, but it’s not explicitly said, so I’ll leave it as a no.

EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

Another one that we don’t know for sure, but could be true. I’ll go ahead and say no.

LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

YES. Gaston’s impulsiveness is such that he really doesn’t think of working to get things months or years down the line. It’s all instant gratification.

IMPULSIVITY — The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

Also a yes. Gaston never seems to think much of anything through. I can barely think of anything he did in the entire movie that WASN’T impulsive. One of the first things we see him do is steal a bouquet, and the last thing we see him do is attempt to murder a man/beast he knows nothing about. Reckless from end to end.

IRRESPONSIBILITY — Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

While Gaston does come across as irresponsible, we didn’t see any specific instances in the movie, so I’ll call this a no.

FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

Absolutely. Nothing is ever Gaston’s fault in his eyes. Being rejected by Belle is, in Gaston’s eyes, because of some fault with her, not because Gaston isn’t desirable.

MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

No; however, given his lack of understanding of what constitutes a marriage, it seems this would have been in his future had he survived.

JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

Again, we didn’t see Gaston’s childhood, so I’ll call this a no.

REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — A revocation of probation or other conditional releases due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

Not applicable.

CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Yes. We see him commit theft and attempted murder at the very minimum. He seemed very self-satisfied about convincing the village Maurice was insane, allowing him to get away with it.

So, Gaston fits the vast majority of the traits for sociopathy. Again, since we don’t know if he had any of these traits since childhood, we don’t know if he would qualify for a diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder, but even if not, he definitely has antisocial features.

When you look at Gaston through this lens, in my opinion, his actions make a lot more sense. It explains why he is at times capable of doing seemingly nice things- like thanking Lefou for singing his praises, or backing off the first time Belle rejects him- and then turning around and attempting to murder Maurice for refusing to let him marry Belle. It explains why he endears himself so well to the villagers and yet only does nice things for his own gain.

As far as I’m concerned, 2017 Gaston is undoubtedly a sociopath.

#batb #beauty and the beast #gaston #beauty and the beast 2017 #batb17