#OH i loved them so much in middle school :'))

[nana-and-ren707]

“I just want to stay with you...” 

#re reading Nana atm and #oh god I love them so much #because they love each other so much #and it breaks my heart #seriously #I have started watching NANA when I was in middle school and it still breaks my heart #babies #ren #ren honjo #nana osaki #nana manga #ai yazawa #vol.15

[persnickety-doodles]

STEM students are wild af

Asami is warming up with an… integral exercise 🫠 before another study session. At this point they’ve started dating and just spend time studying together.

Korra here is still working on her International Relations degree since she wants to be a diplomat or a small bakery owner idk. I haven’t thought too much about it.

More college AU

#korrasami #I will introduce mako and Bolin… I love them in this AU #i have the dialogue written for a small comic… just have yo draw it is all #to* #oh and Kuvira… that’s another fun intro #for the record I am a stem major #they got me when I got to build a Lego robot in middle school #I programmed my little guy to get through a maze #it’s something about little robots and computers that I love do much #*so #and combine it with biological science and I’m just invested #alicia draws #persnickety doodles #Korrasami College AU #lok #avatar

[candybatwings]

Finally here’s the McKirk I promised <3 I couldn’t find a ref photo of those fancy shots Bones gives people to make them Not Die so I went from memory so uhh. Maybe just don’t look at that part <3

#I love Metric so much their music is everything <3 #I got to see them in concert last year after being obsessed since middle school #it was so good oh my gosh #artwork #digital art #digital drawing #artists of tumblr #digital artist #my art #star trek fanart #star trek the original series #star trek tos #captain kirk #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #mckirk #mckirk fanart #Spotify

[3amsnek]

birthday bastard boy!!! went in a completely different direction this time with my annual Jim Appreciation Art and had a blast painting him with some fun brushes :3 love my strange lil son

click for better quality

reblogs >> likes!!

#poor little meow meow (literally) #pov you are holding a rattle mouse or perhaps an origami dragon #jim tag #my art? #digital painting #pet portrait #cat #my boy is TWELVE he could be in middle school but fortunately. he is a Cat #this was actually. so much fun I never enjoy more realistic/study stuff but this was!! rly fun I Cannot stop laughing looking at his eyes #they were meant to be placeholders I did them 80% underneath my sketch and then took it off and Lost It so I kept them #combined two different references with Artistic Liberties and stylization and ended up with such a scrungly little beast #i rly want to do this again tbh… would anyone be interested in this type of thing with their cat bc 👀 #oh ye also #downloaded devin elle kurtz’s rake brushes pack and they are So Funky would recommend #nice scratchy Tecksture options that go nicely with my love of crunchy brushes

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

So this episode was about teachers committing to and caring about their students, and district people too, and I love that :'). Sometimes all you need is a district person who will keep putting in the effort like that, and I love when it happens for people <33

Anyway! I'm so glad they got the interpreter for Amani, she so deserves it :'D. Everyone does :').

I'm glad Gregory decided to let them stay :') I think he can really help these kids out and be a good place for them :)) :D

Also proud of Tariq for finally calling Nick his name :'D hope they do get close :)

Poor Barbara though xD

And once again proud of Janine for fighting through it to get the ASL interpreter :')) and the way she did it was so iconic xD same for the parents lol, going to a reporter that already doesn't like the district LOL, but yeah I am so happy for them :D

Also I love Jacob and Janine <33

With going out for drinks at the end, I hope Janine doesn't leave them behind :((

Btw the reason for the boys being in Gregory's room being that the Mortons are in couples therapy is hilarious xDD

And lol hopefully it's just like, upkeep, because they just got married xD

Anyway!! I am distrustful of districts but I hope it works out (with the issues obviously) on the show :). And even though I am I know this side of the story needs to be seen as well so it's nice to see, switches it up on me a bit more than usual. Like, makes me a little more uncomfortable and see it a different way more than usual. Which is good :)

Loved the episode!!! I'm so excited for next week :D

And also terrified :')

But I almost definitely won't be able to watch it lol so, I'll see y'all a little bit after that lol

Bye y'all!

#abbott elementary #oasis's ae chatter #such a good episode :)) #honestly still just so happy for amani #and once again jacob looked so happy for her :') #I love them all <333 #poor melissa having to manage like 20 middle school relationships xD girl is going through it lol #oh yeah I just realized they could've made this episode a valentine's day one lol #eh they have done that before xD #but premiering on valentine's day would be pretty nice lol #anyway!!! love this show :D #happy valentine's day y'all!!! #(thinking about saying that was what made me think about the episode lol) #I love you all so much :DD #and I'm so grateful for you :')) if you need a valentine today it's me <3 #anyway yeah a great episode :D #so nice to watch after a long rehearsal lol #coming back with an edit: my bad it's mostly episode 5 I'm scared of #byeeee!!! :)) <333 :D 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️

[gifti3]

happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉

for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao

under cut cause the pics are big

Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins

Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]

What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。＿。｀)

Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)

and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers

#so whb is technically in last place but since its a newer game ill let it pass this year #so time princess is next in line for last place #its a fine gift but since they dont have any characters saying happy birthday it doesnt do much for me #nightbringer kinda surprised me! #i was expecting a call and some devil points #but this is a lot more then i expected :3c #also i go crazy for free UR+ Jokers #i was thinking of adding regular obey me but decided to skip it since i only really just log in for dailies for the most part #(and i dont even do that everyday if im not feeling it) #also theyre practically the same minus the calls (but i have the old ones that i havent listened to yet still) #twst was cute nothing too crazy #(thank you for ur presence lilia) #i liked love and deepspaces happy bdays from the characters a lot because they sang lmao 😭 #also i feel very special from them saying all this nice stuff about hoping that i get what i want and that i stay healthy and stuff dwsiiws #it feels like obey me has more in character interactions BUT when i think it about it more #deepspace has the models actually hand you gifts #also the moment you have with the characters feels more personal #but tbf theres more obey me characters and you do get those calls throughout the whole day! (also they give more stuff imo) #so i cant really pick which one i liked more :d #dutp #obey me nightbringer #twisted wonderland #love and deepspace #im now 26.... #oh jeez #long post #still doing the same shit i was doing in middle school uashusha (i mean playing dating games) #my personality has refined over the years tho #anyways im gonna celebrate tomorrow with my family :] #this is the end of my post tho ill probably post about the asmo phone call later

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up #don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon #outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years! #Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid #shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the #entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking #ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so #thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck #And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me #There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder #everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend #“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when #you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn #At least someone wants to talk to me #Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others #promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life #Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting #What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something #It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you #Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn #Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place #And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject #Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like #Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me #It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn #I fucking hate everything

[fabulouslygaybean]

i am once again overwhelmed by love for humans as a whole

#just. fuck #oh my god. oh my god. i love humans. i love humans and i love life and i love that i get to be a part of it #it sucks sometimes and there are awful terrible things that happen and im not going to deny any of that #but just. im thinking about all the strangers who've ever been kind to me and im overwhelmed with love #the girl ive never seen before who grabbed me to dance during my last homecoming with the biggest smile on her face #the kid who taught me where to dig for clay in a lake when i was 8 who told me he loved me when i said i had to leave #the stranger at the last show i went to who held onto my shoulder as we jumped and yelled and laughed together #the little girl who came into my workplace today that told me with the most starstruck face that she liked my hair #the older lady who helped me pick up all my things after i dropped them in a park after an incredibly hard day #the trio of teenage boys who played with me on the playground for hours one evening when i was 6 because they saw i was lonely #the random man who bought me the snack i tried to put it back when i realized i didn't have enough money for it #the teen girls who chased off some guy who tried to kick my head in and then ran back to hold my hands and make sure i was okay #fuck. i love people. i love human beings so much. #i love being alive and im so so glad i made it past middle school even though i thought i wouldn't #i get to look at sunsets and sunrises and i get to pet dogs and i get to wade around in lakes and pools and ponds #i get to hug and hold people and i get to laugh so hard my stomach hurts and i get to yell and scream in happiness #i get to eat good food and listen to good music and i get to run and jump and dance #i get to see beautiful things and i get to watch strangers live their lives around me and i get to be a part of it all #it's amazing!!! fuck!!!! i get to be a part of it all!!!!! #i love being alive and i love that ive made it this far #i don't know what the future holds but im just so glad im even here at all #sorry about the long sappy ramble and i know this probably looks weird but i could not care less #im just overwhelmed with love for everything

[moe-broey]

Boots :)

Another Started As A Test Subject and now they're literally the only thing I ever fucking wear. Idk how well it shows in the pics but they are badly cracked and have been worn into the ground but like. Shoe comfy :(

Also the wings are a new addition! The inner ones slap against each other. Doesn't really bother me personally though so I'm keeping them as is 😅 Oh, and the laces are paracord!

#funnily enough these are also something i got at the beginning of my transition thinking 'oh yeah this is masc. surely.' #final tangent but this is why insane fucking terfs/transphobes who are like #'noooo don't transition what about our butches what about our tomboy gfs :((((' #i was literally never either of those things. #they are all so stupid 🥲 (for. a lot of very obvious reasons LMFAOO but specifically for that as well.) #but yeah i literally used fashion and artsy self expression as a way to cope LMFAOOO #and as a way to draw attention away from myself. despite. drawing SO much attention to myself. #seems counter intuitive and i won't argue w you there LMAOO it was to sort of just. be like. #look at my cute outfit :) don't. don't even think about the guy underneath them. #AND it was ALSO the only way i could somehow feel some semblance of self. cause i did truly love what i'd wear #and then i'd wonder why i'd break down crying at the thought of what i am without those clothes. #just? a girl? the idea gutted me and made me want to tear my skin off with my nails and teeth #but like. i'm sure this has zero implications about me. who i am. ect. and has nothing to do w trans thoughts i had in middle school. #time to pick a perfect outfit and get a good grade in Girl™ 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 #nowadays i just wake up put on a band tee and i'm just some guy. forever and always. it's so fucking cool #literally does not matter if it's a pants day or a shorts and tights day i'm just some guy. it's so fucking awesome 😎👍 #for real even though i do still struggle w dysphoria some days worse than others i am so at peace. #i just wish everyone saw me the way i do. i literally cannot comprehend how anyone looks at me and goes #'ah....... a woman.' like. dude. for real? what are you seeing that i don't. #like bro!!! way not cool!!!! lame ass motherfucker!!!! #<- GSJSGSJ WAIT WHEN DID I USE THIS TAG BEFORE LMFAOO?? IT'S. SO FITTING HERE HAHAHAHA #anyways i was gonna say idk if i saw a motherfucker who's clearly striving for some androgyny #and a sick ass mullet no matter what immediately registers in my mind that i may have to correct later #i'm just. going to assume. they are some type of queer. and i am avoiding pronouns/gendered language #til they tell me 'oh yeah i'm :) and my pronouns are :)' and i'd adjust accordingly. #like idk that's so normal to me. what's not clicking for literally everyone else. #UGH ANYWAY i've been ranting and infodumping way too long i wanna get ready for bed now LMFAO #also if at any point you've looked at these pics and thought 'damn bitch you live like this' #yes. i know. i'm aware. i do live like this LMFAO 🫡😔 #my projects

[kyoupann]

Turns out it really is me and the queer RPF fanfiction I read at 13-16 years old against the world.

#personal #Let's just say I finished reading this LU fic which I loved but never had the fucking balls to finish it #kind of like... if I don't read it it won't end you know? #(The Nile is a river and I live in it) #anyways that led me to read old fanfiction I WROTE and tbh it wasn't great but I had so much #it reaally reads as a 16yo writing about love #and THEN that led me to looking at my fic recs page on my blog and oh wow (: #All of the fics that marked me are there #some of them are not available anymore #but just the title of them get this visceral reaction from me (: damn i sure love feeling overwhelmed with nostalgia #anyways who would've thought that fanfiction about two British twinks would have such impact on me #but also who would've thought the meloryo fanfiction I created with my bestie on the bathroom floor of our middle school would also somehow #mark in ways I can describe yet I don't even remember half of the fic; Rinn if you're reading this (I know you aren't) #I just gotta let you know that I did learn and danced to Paradichlorobenzene and so you owe the full Sarishinohara fic LMAO #tkm mija <3

[pepprs]

also (this is it i promise) this is why i am so INSANELY excited to have my own room soon. like omg. it is definitely not perfect bc it’s at home and there’s a breaker box in it and you can hear footsteps really loud through the ceiling and also again *it’s at home* when i really need to not be living at home. but the quality of life improvement i am about to have is actually INSANE. i will be able to have a space far away from everyone else where i can sing without bothering anyone and play piano and decorate it (mostly) to my liking and have a desk and draw and paint and do whatever. finally!!!!!!!! that is going to fix me!!!!!

#purrs #i just wish it was permanent or that i had more years to spend in it. like i actually just want to find the place where i will live forever #and just stay there bc oh my GOD am i tired of living in places temporarily. i have so many issues w that bc so many spaces that were #formative for me have been destroyed (e.g. the van 😍😍😍😍 and my grandparents house 😍😍😍😍 and my favorite hs teachers classroom 😍😍😍😍) or are #going to be destroyed (e.g. the office where i work rn 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍) or ive had to leave them and move out bc they’re inherently temporary (e.g. #my on campus room 😍😍😍😍 and my room in brighton 😍😍😍😍😍😍). and ive had attachment issues w space / location : whatever my whole life like i wou #would have huge meltdowns whenever we were transitioning from like elementary school to middle school middle school to high school etc etc.. #so i really just um. would like permanence and stability please. im 24. im done w school for now and maybe forever. i want to find a place w #where i can just like.. stay. so if im paying rent like something that would allow me to renew it indefinitely and not fear bei ng kicked #out randomly or at the end of a determined period. i just want a home lol i want a homeeeee and i want to decorate it with all my things and #never be afraid that i will lose it and get to stay there forever and ever or at least as long as i want. bc my parents already have plans f #for my new room after i move out and i won’t get to decorate it as much as i want bc my mom doesn’t want me to damage the paint. but like if #i have a place of my own then i get to decide a little ding in the paint is worth it to put up my lanterns. you know? idk. the mortifying #ordeal of experiencing freedom like thisfor the first time in my mid-late twenties probably 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but still its gonna be good and i hope it #happens soon and i have to MAKE that happen. so yeah. #wishlist #delete later #ok now im done for real THJS time lol. my mom is gonna be so pissed at me ive barely lifted a finger here. but im enjoying the quiet what ca #can i say!!!!!!!! like OMG ok last thi ng…. like she’s always saying i have to love myself first before i get into a relationship and it’s l #like.. maybe my living conditions do not predispose me to be able to spend time w myself in ways that allow me to love myself!!!!!! #maybe always being on the defense and needing to find quiet spaces all the time and being shamed for that is not a very good way to experien #experience myself in the place im supposed to feel most grounded and comfortable!!! so yeah. #like maybe i stopped doing all the things i loved bc you got alexa and loud speakers and started blasting music all the time and dominating #space and becoming more and more high maintenance… 😳 (and obviously i changed as a person / played a role in it too but again my point / re #realization is… maybe it was in RESPONSE to stimuli that were not good for me and not just bc i suck as a person / am losing myself / etc.) #like theeeee sonic warfare of it all. also my brother is a key player in it too bc he raps and sings at the top of his lungs and it’s like 🤨

[vulpinesaint]

yeah. gosh. fourteen year old me would be so happy to know that we are where we are now.

#i have to dress edgier. for him #seriously though… the metamorphosis a body can undergo #my best friend was so right when they said that my face shape has changed. i grew a jaw out of Nowhere #and the things that letting your hair grow out a little will do for you… #fourteen year old me would be so happy to know that we look at ourself in the mirror and feel good. #feel right. #that we’ve gotten things correct that we’ve gotten a binder that we can see past what other people might see. #i definitely looked trans (child) then. but i look trans (hot young adult) now. and it would be such promise for them. #if they could know the kind of things i wear… oh they would lose it. #we got some fashion stuff down baby me. we got it figured out. #turns out you just have to figure out how to wear that dress shirt in a way that emphasizes the right things. #god i love you little me. you’d be so fuckin happy to see us now #and thirteen year old me… oh gosh. babe you’d be so happy to know that we finally figured out what was wrong. #we figured out why nothing meant for girls ever looked right on us. #and your future doesn’t look how maybe you thought it’d look. but it looks so fucking good #sending so much love out to past selves. kissing elementary school me on the cheek. #it’s okay not to be a tomboy. you get to be something even cooler than that when you grow up. promise. #and middle school me you WILL use tumblr and listen to mychem and dye your hair black + have long fringe that falls in your face. #don’t let the dream die. we’ll get there one day. #you don’t look Emo but you look like you. which is even better. #sentimental in this chilis tonight. everybody hold my hands so we can sing kumbaya or something #OH GOSH. MIDDLE SCHOOL ME… you wear a lot of black and children Do have to ask if you’re a boy or a girl… #you’re getting closer to those 2015 ‘i got mistaken for a boy in the grocery store’ textposts all the time. promise. the dream comes true. #all those adam lambert music videos you’re watching right now are gonna pay off one day mark my words fjskfj #valentine notes

[astrxealis]

started rereading the pjo series the other day actually wawawa still my favorite fr it means the world to me :(( but yeah also! rewatched big hero 6 and ngl it probably really is my favorite movie for many personal reasons hehe AND THEN also watched the first part of hamilton on tv w my parents they loved it hehehe

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #okay that's all just a quick update on me and my life since i loveee to share all that #OKAY OKAY THOUGH YEAH i really love my (extended) family. i am super shy but you know what i love them sooo much #i already miss my aunt so much sniffs the whole holy week break felt like a dream tbh. i loved that she came over and etc etc #and also brought her (GAY !!) friend and then idk she's the best and so supportive and i came out to her right. first one irl. means a lot. #but yeah having experiences w her (esp her gay guy friend tho) meant a lot to me LMFAO idk it feels like those. crush feels but platonic #anyway <3 idk what else. uhm. yeah. that's basically it #oh an old friend from middle school dmned me bcs my personal instagram note was a rainbow flag and heart face so . yk #i came out to them back then and they're on the lgbtq community too so HELL YEAH sorry it's been days tho and i haven't replied back aha #you see. i am a mess. i haven't gotten to a lot of stuff especially because i for some reason have this. i need to. you see #i need to... if i am doing something i have to put in All My Effort. so i am literally reading everything my teachers give and say #and. literally everything. and i am definitely FAR far away from getting near to finished but hell yeah RAGHHH #I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE CONCERT NEXT MONTH OH MY GOD IT'S IN LIKE 3/4 WEEKS NOW ONLY WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK #my dad has been listening to the 1975 tons (he said he has now listened to all their songs. idk if thats true but i think so) #idk yeah just makes me happy uh etc love family etc motivated but a mess uh etc. goodnight

[malkaviian]

i have a headache but also i dont want to go to sleep just yet dkjnfjds i want me-time

(warning: as i was writing the tags of this post this turned into another kinda-heavy rant about the situation my group of friends and i are. so keep that in mind)

#things were weird today when She(tm) was there but when she left things were normal again #but these hours were kinda stressful rip or more like... there was an inherent discomfort and tension in the air #with some ugly commentaries and actions on her part. like its your (supposed) best friend's birthday at least try to hide your disgust 👍 #birthday you ~apparently~ forgot until it the day before. also you didnt had a single penny to spend on the gift for him #but you sure as hell had it to go eat with your college friends to expensive places! girl at least dont post about it on insta #and just in case; this wasnt a '*goes to expensive places before* -oh i dont have money sowwy :((' #this was a '-oh i dont have money sowwy :(( *goes to expensive places after it*' #what we were asking for collaboration was way less than what she spent on those places. it was AT THE VERY LEAST 3000 ars per food #and you know what she wanted to give for the gift? 500 ars!!! you cant buy shit with it; let alone if we only collaborated with 500 each #like she wanted. we're 4; genuine question what kinda shit can you buy for $2000. maybe a good quality cup but we already gave him that #but even then the point is not the money; the thing is the attitude. you cant spend more than $500 on us #but you can spend at least $6000 on your other friends; given you went to eat with them two days in a row. priorities i guess? #OH! and talking about it!! can you fucking believe she INVESTIGATED the phone of our ~new~ friend (the one shes jealous of) #and DEADASS said 'oh i see. my mom has an A51'. our friend has an A20 if im not wrong; which might not be an A51 but its. still expensive?? #also your mom has an A51 but you have an iPhone 5 since you were on high school. but hey; apple i am right?? inherently better than an A20 #sorry i have less than that; i have an A10s (that i got on the start of 2020). can i still breathe the same air as you and your mom /s #once again the problem is not the money or the phone or WHATEVER. its the fucking attitude shes having. you want to pretend you have money #and act like youre superior to people who 'dont'; when in reality YOU ARE MIDDLE CLASS. YOU ARENT UPPER CLASS; NOT EVEN UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS #YOURE MIDDLE CLASS. MIDDLE CLASS LIKE THE REST OF US; NOT LIKE YOUR COLLEGE FRIENDS YOU LOVE SO MUCH AND WANT TO IMPRESS #YOU SPEND MONEY YOU DEFINITELY DONT HAVE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO APPEAR UPPER-MIDDLE AT THE VERY LEAST. but thats a lie #a lie that if these beloved friends bothered to ACTUALLY know even the slightest about you; like we do; would fall apart. but they wouldnt! #because they dont care about you as much as we care(d). do you think they will tolerate this fucking attitude youre having towards us? #no they wouldnt. trust me; they WOULDNT. they will tell you to fuck off and leave you completely alone. go cry a river. #god fucking dammit why are you like this. WHY you turned like this. or rather; why we were SO GODDAMN blind we didnt noticed this before #negative

[noxtivagus]

i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait

#🌙.vents #bcs okay during my shift for my class' booth i rlly helped quite a lot w my classmates in my shift too n yeah others too #i helped the lower school kids that visited hehe n then even a parent n yeah n not to mention my classmates too in general. yh #n to my classmate i was like. 'hey btw i like your mcr shirt' n i said that for my twin as well n. wow. yeah. i really did that woah #n then for my friend apollo n i helped out w their booth too. n i helped like two people for my shift for our (optional) fair committee n #yeah the long one w the discrepancies damn n we even talked a bit while waiting n all n then said hi to a lot of my old friends from back i #middle school. thinking abt it makes me want to cry actually it makes me so happy right now bcs like #my longest friend ever we rarely see or even talk but we're friends n we spent like the whole evening together w other friends #n. personally it just. aghhh i don't know it makes me happy when i can be like.. a friend for others? someone you can hug n then #someone you can open up to someone you know will listen someone you know won't judge you someone you. yeah #n i really mean it i don't know how to put it any other way because i just can't not be sincere about how i love n it hurts bcs #i don't want to be sad. i hate feeling tired. n that's so human n everyone feels sad n tired but #i'm so torn between being kind to myself n dehumanizing myself at the same time. that helplessness like you know better but you just can't. #ah yeah. not only that longest friend but also my longest friend in my school who moved for this sy for. yeah #used to talk n see each other everyday at school n we're third cousins actually n knew years after we were friends. #oh i'm crying again.. no. no i'll push that out of my head wait.. aa sorry i'm sharing my life story 💀 n i know it's because i'm lonely n #you see i just. i just can't. i know i should reach out but i can't & i wouldn't because everyone else have their struggles too #but i can't do.. this on my own but i want to be the one to help others. i notice too much i just need to shut it out somehow #ah yeah wait. other friends too :^) n i often wonder what others think of me. what i mean to them. how they see me #we're all human we all think n not everyone is so self-aware or introspective but. i find it all interesting nonetheless #i would share my own thoughts freely if one would ask. & my own curiosity n willingness to listen is endless #ah but.. nah no i won't entertain that line of thought any further. not sure if i already wrote this to myself today but yk the #i think. when i can really be free n all. i'm good w vulnerable moments i'm good in social situations. i can read them well. n i know what #to do. technically at least. mostly. not always bcs anxiety rlly sucks too n goddamn on the other hand i'm honestly insecure if i'm too #serious at times? like i take life seriously honestly but not like. in a boring way or wtvr i just really value life #most of this is just idle musing i think i've been here in my seat for hours. oh how the time flies huh? midnight is nearing & the tears #in my eyes are drying up. n i just wish that in this moment that time would wait and stop. #sorry i'm not trying to be poetic okay with an unintentional rhyme i'm just writing my thoughts fuck #nah i thought about this earlier n now i'm at a loss for words again. it's sunday n i'm still to tired to reply to the rest of my friends #i'm so sleepy i think i'll write a bit n sleep soon. calmed down after writing that last tag. i'll rest n do more tomorrow.

[rogersstevie]

cowboy carter is absolutely my fave beyonce album since lemonade like it doesn't seem like a lot that i've already listened twice in two days but for me who so often is like okay i'll listen to a new release and then come back to it in a week or so bc i'm listening to so much other stuff it does show how much i'm into this one

#tbf to the others in between like #self titled and lemonade were released when i followed people who would reblog the zip files #(god i have albums i wouldn't have otherwise bothered to download bc of that there used to be so much music sharing on here i miss it #now i never hear the leaks of stuff or ANYTHING either bc there aren't people posting them where i can see #or in the case of swifties they're fucking babies about leaks) #so i listened to those two A TON on my phone it was probably around the time of lemonade that i started using spotify somewhat regularly #so like i have listened to her other work since then and all but not to the same extent #honestly i have grown to like country more and more primarily women of course lol #but like back in middle/high school i would listen to taylor and carrie underwood and maybe a couple other women #the only man i can think of is hunter hayes #which tbf is still kinda true it really is WOMEEEN in country for me #but yeah like recent years with people like kacey musgraves where i'm just like oh i'm OBSESSED with this #in a way that wasn't happening with any country artist except for taylor for a long time it was just like casual fan of some people #ANYWAY i'm glad to have a new album i'm excited about bc the kacey one was good but unfortunately just don't love it like her others #and obvs i have my low expectations for ttpd atm bc like obvs folkmore are my shit #and i listened to fearless tv and red tv a good bit initially but midnights and speak now tv and 1989 tv way way less #1989 tv i barely listen to at all tbh i was just so bored with the vault tracks all the others had much better ones imo #but new dua lipa is coming too and i'm like listen she's made two absolute banger albums it feels too much to hope #for a third that's as good as self titled and future nostalgia #so anyway: highly recommend cowboy carter