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hwatermelonsuga · 2 years

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Fool's Gold: viii. Tyme Flyes When You're Havin’ Rum

° Series Masterlist

° genre: pirate au, pirateez

° word count: 3.4k

° warnings: language, death, alcohol, manipulation, toxic relationship involved, toxic character, stabbing

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery’s hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

“He has come to be the great man he thought he wanted to be. If this is true, then he is not a man. He is still a little boy and wants the moon.” - Cup of Gold

4 Years Ago

“Hey Joonieeee, can you get me another one?”

The man who was called rolled his eyes as he prepared another beer for the customer. As he gave him the drink, the man winked at him and tried to grab his arm. Before that could happen, Hongjoon pulled out a dagger and stabbed it into the wood next to the man’s hand. He was frightened while Hongjoong smirked at him, leaving him to get back to his job.

Hongjoong was sick of it.

The men here were disgusting. He didn’t know how he could do it. They were always at the tavern to get drunk and to find someone or something to stick their dick in. Most of the time that someone was Hongjoong, seeing as they scared all the women off.

Hongjoong wished that he could’ve done something else with his life, but he had no other skills. And trust, he has tried every other job there is out there. He’s not that great at selling things, people piss him off all the time, and his parents didn’t have any particular skills… except for stealing.

Yeah, he wasn’t that lucky in life. So here he is, at a tavern… serving drinks to pigs.

“Joong!”

Hongjoong turned his head to see an old friend, Chan, walk into the building. Following him with puppy eyes was one of his crew members. He was a bit shorter with blonde hair and an innocent look on his face. Hongjoong was sure he was still dangerous, even if he looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly. Maybe he’d kill a man before he’d kill a fly.

“Channie! What are you doing here?”

“Well, I decided to stop by since we’ll be in town for a bit. Came to see how you were doing. Oh, by the way, this is Felix. Felix, Hongjoong.”

The two shook hands with smiles and Hongjoong showed them to a seat at the bar. He grabbed them something to drink and told the guy working with him to take over. He hopped over the bar to the other side and sat next to Chan.

“How’s it going?”

“Ah, it’s alright. Just came from this small town. They didn’t have much there so we left ‘em alone. Wasn’t worth it.”

“Still out at sea huh? Man, I wish I can live the life you guys are living. Making your own rules, so much freedom. And you’re not that miserable.”

Chan laughed at that. “Well, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.”

“There are some rainbows though,” Felix hopped in. Chan gave him a look, signaling Felix to hush up.

“I’m sure it’s better than being here,” Hongjoong scoffed. They all looked around to see drunk men fighting and laughing. One tried to come up to Hongjoong but saw the glares on the men’s faces and backed away.

“Is this a regular day for you,” Felix asked.

“Yeah, I guess. Sometimes it’s worse.”

“Well if you want to be a pirate so bad, why not join one? I’m surprised that you’re not,” Felix inputted.

“How do you know I’m not a pirate?”

“Trust me, I can tell.”

Hongjoong laughed at that. “Honestly I would, it’s just that… huh. I don’t know.”

Why is he not a pirate already? Why is he just serving drinks to these… men? He could be living the life he’s dreamed of for years, really ever since he was a toddler.

“Hey, how about you join us,” Felix offered. Chan almost slapped the man but he decided not to. He didn’t know.

“Ah, I don’t know.”

“Come on! It’ll be fun. You’ll love the crew-”

“Felix.”

“And you won’t have to do much. I’m sure everyone will love you-”

“FELIX! Calm down.”

Hongjoong had a look on his face. It’s not that he didn’t want to be a part of Chan’s crew. It’s just that… a certain person was a part of it. Someone he didn’t want to interact with.

“Why what’s wrong?”

“Eh.. maybe it’s not a good idea. Thanks for the offer though.

They sat in silence while Felix was trying to understand what was going on. Why didn’t he want to come with them? Felix was sure that he would be a great addition. Chan didn’t say anything. He knew why Hongjoong didn’t want to join.

“So uh anyway…” Chan tried to move the topic onto something else but nothing came to his head for him to spit out. Because of that, they sat in more silence.

Felix fidgeted in his seat. He wanted to know the reason. What was the reason? He didn’t want to push it though. Maybe it was a good reason. Maybe not. Who knows? Felix doesn’t but he wants to right now. His curiosity was eating him alive. He couldn’t sit still and the guy next to him was on the verge of kicking him out of his seat.

“Ok, I need to know. Why won’t you join?”

“Felix, stop.”

“No, Chan, it's okay. We haven’t been together for a while.” Felix leaned in to get the full story. “It’s just uh... My ex is in your crew.”

“WHAT? Who is it?”

“Don’t answer him,” Chan budged in. “He doesn’t need to know. Just want something to talk about when we get back.”

Felix pouted at that and Hongjoong snickered. He couldn’t believe this man was a pirate. After a bit, Felix let it go. He’ll find out eventually. The guys stayed at the tavern for a few more hours until it was dark out. Chan invited Hongjoong back to their ship but he was iffy on that.

“It’ll be fine. Not everyone will be on board. We don’t leave until the day after tomorrow. I’m sure the guys are either causing trouble or getting drunk.” Hongjoong was still reluctant, but hey, why not. He’ll risk it. And if he does see his ex, he’ll just run. Simple enough.

They traveled to the docks and reached Chan’s ship. He was right, there weren't a lot of men on board. He was able to recognize a few men but there was no sight of the one he dreaded to see. A few of Chan’s men were seated in a dimly lit area on the deck and were telling jokes.

“Hey guys, this is Hongjoong.” The men nodded and allowed the three to join in.

Hongjoong could name a few. Changbin… Jisung… Seungmin…

He relaxed knowing that he was safe here. He joined in on the jokes and was enjoying himself. It’s been a while. All this time he’s been on his toes, watching his back. Turning people away and not bothering to settle in one place. It was nice to chill.

It didn’t last though.

“Joong! Surprised to see you here.”

He turned around to see the one man he didn’t want to see right now. Actually, not ever.

“Long time no see, huh.”

Someone kill him now.

“Ah Yuta, Seungmin just told this funny story about this lady’s house he robbed,” Jisung yelled out and turned to Seungmin. “Go on, you tell it better.”

“Ah, nah. The moment’s passed.”

“The hell are you talking about?” Jisung looked genuinely offended at that.

Hongjoong blanked out on the rest. His focus was on Yuta at the moment. He was trying to make himself smaller but it was too late. Yuta’s eyes burned his skin, his attention was too much. Hongjoong wanted to claw at his burning arm.

He wanted to run away. He couldn’t though.

He was stuck. Frozen.

How the hell will he get out of this situation?

Chan looked over once he noticed Yuta, Hyunjin, and Johnny walking over their way. He didn’t think they’d get back so soon. Fuck! What was he going to do? He felt so bad. Hongjoong will never trust him. He promised him that he would run into his past, but look at them now. How can this get any worse?

“Uhh, Yuta. Hey…” Hongjoong finally snapped out of it. He didn’t know what else to say besides that though.

The others didn’t pick up on the awkward tension between the two. Well… Felix did. Currently, he was in shock. Yuta and Hongjoong? What was going on between them? Was Yuta his ex? Can’t be! There was no way. How did they even cross paths? Felix was so confused but he was all into this plot.

Jisung and Seungmin kept arguing about the story while the others watched, Johnny whispering “fight, fight” right behind them.

Yuta walked closer to Hongjoong’s space while the other man had nowhere to go. He didn’t want to make a scene.

“What’s been going on?”

He didn’t want to answer that. He was silent for a bit and looked at Chan. Chan could see the panic in his eyes. He shrugged and motioned him to talk to the waiting pirate.

“Uh, same old, same old.”

“Hongjoong, how about we take a walk,” Chan jumped in.

“Well actually, I wanted to talk to you quickly,” Yuta pushed Chan back and entered Hongjoong’s space.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Chan, calm down. I won’t hurt him.”

“Anymore,” Hongjoong whispered. Luckily no one caught it.

“I know, it’s just-”

“The past is the past. And I’m sure Joong’s over it. Right,” Yuta turned his attention to the quiet man.

Chan was still iffy on this. He trusted Yuta, but not around Hongjoong. It’s been a year or so since they’ve split. Was it a terrible breakup? Kind of. He did have to make Hongjoong “disappear” but Yuta caught on. Hongjoong had a feeling that Yuta knew where he was the whole time. Was it worth the trouble? Yes. The thing is Yuta was toxic. He wasn’t good for Hongjoong. All of the fighting, flirting with others to make each other jealous, all of the trouble they would get into. Yuta was a pirate, so of course, he was a bad person. They all were. But the things that happened between the two men… Chan would never do that.

If Yuta wasn’t such a good gunman, he’d be out of here. Honestly, Chan feared for his life. Yuta can be scary when he wants to be.

Chan looked over to Hongjoong to see his expression. He hid his emotions well in this silent moment. He couldn’t figure out what the man was thinking.

“Yeah sure,” Hongjoong mumbled. Chan couldn’t believe him.

The two went to find somewhere private, which was not easy since Chan was following them. He wasn’t about to let them out of his sight. He lost them though when they went into the town.

“Well shit,” Chan huffed.

The two found themselves in a tavern that was surprisingly not crowded.

“So… what did you want to talk about?” Hongjoong wanted this over and done.

“I see you’re in a rush. Why can’t we just think about the good days for a sec-”

“Yeah no. I’m not doing this, so if you have nothing important to say then I’m leaving. You’re wasting my time.” Hongjoong went to leave when Yuta grabbed his bicep, bringing him back.

“Wait wait wait. Stay. I just want to say sorry.. for everything.”

Hongjoong was listening, kind of. This was rare but he didn’t know if it was genuine. And also… it took him this long to say sorry? Sure Hongjoong was in hiding, but Yuta knew where he was. So why now?

“I’ll need a drink… or 4.”

The alcohol helped a bit… maybe too well. Hongjoong doesn’t remember a thing. The drinks kept coming and his feelings for Yuta were coming back. At least, he thinks so.

Hongjoong woke up the next morning with a major headache and no clothes. He rubbed his eyes and looked to see Yuta next to him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know how he got here. What the hell happened?

He didn’t have time for all of these questions though. He got up and searched for his clothes immediately, even if his body was telling him to stop. He had to get out of here though. It took him a minute but he eventually put his clothes on without waking up the demon he laid by last night and left out the bedroom door. He found himself in a hall. Is this a random person’s house?

No! No time for questions.

As Hongjoong walked closer to where he thought was the front door, something wretched reached his nose causing him to back up a bit and cover it. He couldn’t describe the smell. He does know that he wants to get away from it… but he has to get to the door.

“Let’s see how long I can hold my breath.”

He jogged but came to a stop at what was in the living room.

Blood.

Bodies.

Three unrecognizable bodies lay on the floor. Blood covered the floor and splattered on the walls. A knife was still lodged in one of the person’s chests.

If Hongjoong had to guess, it was the family that lived here.

Did… did they do that to them?

He teared up at the thought.

How did this happen?

How could he let this happen? It was supposed to be only one drink. How did a bit of alcohol lead to murder? But this is normal right? This is normal pirate shenanigans. This is what it means to be a pirate: steal, kill, ask no questions.

But this isn’t him.

He’s not a pirate.

He didn’t do this.

Yuta did it. Yeah, this isn’t his fault. It was all Yuta’s doing. And Hongjoong wasn’t even sober enough to remember. Maybe this happened before he came. Yeah, that’s what happened.

And it’s not like Hongjoong hasn’t seen a dead body before.

This is normal.

“Mary, I- what? What the..''

The door opening caught Hongjoong’s attention.

Oh shit.

The man who came in looked from the crime scene to the suspect.

“Who the hell are you? What are you doing here? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY?”

Hongjoong couldn’t answer the man. He was asking the same questions. All he could do was shake his head and try to get the man to calm down.

The man stomped towards Hongjoong who started to back up. He started yelling but it was going in one ear and out the other. Hongjoong was just trying to figure out how to get out. Everything was happening so fast. He was getting chased around the house. Hongjoong tried to speak up but the words didn’t come out.

“COME HERE!”

He had to get out quickly. The man had murder in his eyes. Hongjoong tried to avoid him but the man was gaining on him. He looked back to see him pull out something from his side. Was that a knife?

“Shit.” That was the only word that could come from his mouth.

And the last thing he said before he was tackled to the ground. His head hit the ground hard, which only made his headache worse. The man jumped on Hongjoong and went to stab him. Hongjoong grabbed his arm and tried to wrestle his way out of this. All of this fast movement tired him out. His arms were starting to give out. Where the fuck was Yuta?

Speaking of the devil, the man came in clothed and wide-eyed. This caught Hongjoong’s attention, but that one second of distraction cost him his eye. The man forced his knife into Hongjoong’s face and got him right dead in the eye.

~~~~~~~~

“What happened to you?”

Hongjoong glared at the worker who questioned him. He doesn’t remember how long it’s been since the incident. Hongjoong ran away to hide from Yuta. He doesn’t even know what happened to him. Chan told him that he got rid of him but that was all he told him. Chan apologized a lot to Hongjoong but it wasn’t on him. Hongjoong could only blame himself for what happened. He shouldn’t have drunk so much. He shouldn’t have gone with Yuta. He should have said no.

But he can’t take it back.

He can’t go back in time to fix things.

Or would he be fixing things?

Maybe this was the big man’s master plan. Maybe his life was supposed to go to shit.

He hasn’t been able to forget that time. Staying up because if he slept, he would relive it.

The only thing he could do to forget is what caused this mess in the first place.

He drank… and drank… and drank.

His life was over.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit,” Hongjoong replied to the stranger.

“I hear ya.”

Hongjoong didn’t know what to say after that. It was kind of an awkward silence. The other man turned in his seat to stare at Hongjoong. What did this man want? Why is he being a weirdo? Hongjoong was ready to pull his knife out honestly. He kept looking at the half-empty cup in his hand.

“What happened to ya kid?” Hongjoong was silent.

“What if I told ya I can make your life better?”

“Look, can you shut the fuck up? Also, you look like you’re one step away from death and I’d rather not wake up next to a naked dead body, so if you can just not?” The man laughed at that.

“I like you kid.”

“Mmm please don’t.”

The man only got closer. “Look, I wanna show you something.”

“And I need you to back up.”

“Trust me, kid.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

The man pulled out a dagger and aimed to press it to Hongjoong’s neck. “Look kid, this is the last time I’m gonna say it. Come with me.”

Hongjoong pulled out his knife and pressed it to his neck. “And this is the last I’ll say this. No.”

The two glared at each other without moving. They were waiting for the other’s next move, nerves on high alert. Suddenly, the man laughed. Laughed? Oh, he was more than crazy.

“You’re funny! You’re perfect.”

Hongjoong was so confused. He wasn’t about to let this random drag him to whatever hellhole and take advantage of him. What were his real intentions?

“You wanna be a pirate?”

“And be a part of your crew? I’m not that desperate, you’re a terrible pirate. Exposing yourself to a stranger like that-”

“You don’t look important and you do look desperate. Just…think about it. Me and my crew are on the way to find some real gold. You look like you want to forget something. This journey can help.”

Hongjoong still didn’t trust him. Also, looking for treasure. HA, please. Everyone knows that finding treasure is just a child’s game. It’s a waste of time and will only lead someone to their death. But Hongjoong was a bit curious. Was it worth the risk? If the guy was actually just leading Hongjoong to bed then he could just kill him, right? And if he was telling the truth then Hongjoong can leave his life behind, and forget everything that’s happened.

Eventually, Hongjoong put down the knife and went to follow the old man. He was led to a ship and was slightly amazed at the size. It was bigger than Chan’s ship. It was beautiful and he can only wonder if the man stole it.

More than likely, he did.

The men stepped onto the ship and there were a few crew members still on board. He was a little suspicious of the mood on the ship. Some of the guys looked like they were on their deathbeds. For others, he could tell if they were drunk or not. He set his gaze on the most beautiful man on the ship. Black hair, sharp eyebrows, and features, plump lips. He didn’t belong in this crew. He can’t be a pirate. This was a joke right?

He was snapped out of his head when someone bumped into his shoulder. He turned to see a giant. The man looked back and mouthed something.

“Leave.”

Leave? What was going on? Before he could ask him, the guy already rushed off to where he was going.

What did he get himself into?

Well whatever was going on here, maybe he can die faster. Better than drinking his life away.

“Well kid, welcome to hell. You’re gonna love it.”

Shit.

tag you’re it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang @bunnypig18

#seongjoong #kim hongjoong fic #ateez au #clownracha monthly prompts recs #pirate ateez #pirateez #ateez flashback #flashback #ateez fanfic #chan and felix cameo #Also yuta’s here #I’m sorry #stray kids cameo #Nct cameo #Oh this is terrible… probably

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

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Q's Relevance and Parallels to Double Black

I had a sudden brainwave of thoughts (read: I only got three hours of sleep last night) and needed to share. I've thought this for awhile but I really think Q will be returning to the series at some point.

First of all, there's just too much ambiguity there and I want to know more about Q in general. What happened to Q to spawn an ability like that? Why does Dazai speak about them like they're the devil incarnate? What was the incident that led to so many Mafia deaths in an effort to lock Q up? Is there any significance to Q's unusual eyes (remember that most characters tend to have fairly normal eyes, and this is a series where the eyes carry symbolic weight)? What's with Q being strung up in this position that is eerily similar to a crucifixion, shortly before Steinbeck has a conversation about God existing but not loving them?

There's a lot there. I've spoken about this before in the meta I did about Dazai's change in approach after the Q chapter, which was genuinely an unexpected event he did not anticipate. But there's something fascinating about the way Chuuya reacts to Q as well. In fact, both Dazai and Chuuya are almost uncharacteristically murderous towards this kid, and that's real interesting, seeing as many aspects of Q mirror aspects of their younger selves.

Now I understand you might be thinking: uncharacteristically murderous? Story, they have both literally killed many, many people before. Yes, but context is important here.

Dazai doesn't have strong violent urges - not even in the Mafia, where he was considered terrifying more so due to his apathy in killing than anything. I can't remember a scene where Dazai is described as radiating bloodlust like Kyouka or Mori. Dazai is scary because of his indifferent hollowness at his worst points. Odasaku was described similarly in Untold Origins - there was no real desire to kill, just a listless cold follow-through. Dazai's sadistic methods, brought up by Higuchi in Chapter 25, are acknowledged as a means to an end, a method, not something done out of any strong desire or enjoyment. So when Dazai makes death threats or appears visibly angered - that's something worth taking note of. For him to make a promise to Q to pluck out their heart - holy shit. That is not typical Dazai behaviour. He doesn't even make that kind of threat towards Fyodor. Whatever happened in the past clearly shook him, enough for this moment to change his approach in the series and send him back to using darker methods again.

As for Chuuya, while he has and does kill quite readily, this is mostly in the heat of a fight. For him to give the go-ahead for murdering an unconscious child - it's unusually cold-blooded for him, and I can't think of another instance where he's down with lethal intent outside of combat and direct orders. I've seen some people talk about his reaction to Dazai suggesting he'll kill Q as proof that he's gotten darker since we saw him last in Stormbringer, from someone who would plead for the lives of the Sheep to be spared ("They're just kids") to being ready and willing to kill a defenseless child. While I think it's likely true that he's gone darker since that point - Chuuya appears to be more cynical in the present as well as having darker eyes with a smaller central pinprick of light than in Fifteen and Stormbringer - that's not the only thing going on here.

Thing is, Chuuya has always been fairly ruthless. He’s a very vengeance oriented character, right down to his fighting style (rebounding attacks and bullets). Hurt him or someone he cares about and he hurts back - and that threat will be destroyed. Parallel to this is how he is seemingly unable to turn his back on people who have helped him. Help him and he will remain loyal and protective even if that person goes on to stab him in the back. He has a very “give and take” mentality. Chuuya operates on the reciprocity principle.

So, about Q, here’s the thing: Q is a part of the Mafia, that's true. But Q has never helped them, only hurt indiscriminately. Mafia philosophy says “protect your own and follow the boss' wishes no matter what”. But Chuuya’s philosophy is saying “neutralize the threat”. And interestingly, Chuuya’s philosophy won here. If Dazai had've killed Q, Chuuya would’ve defied Mori’s orders in favour of his own judgement, which is extra intriguing because it emphasizes Chuuya’s loyalty to the people within the Mafia, not the Mafia as an organization itself. This is in full contrast to people like Tachihara and Hirotsu, who prioritize the organization and orders above all.

And about Q being a child: I don’t think this is such a big change in his character if I'm being honest. Chuuya knows full well how dangerous a child can be - he was that dangerous child. People underestimated him as a teenager and paid for it dearly; do you really think he'd make that same mistake? He also has a very warped view on the responsibilities and ways a child should be treated… while I do believe he probably is protective of those younger than him, he also equally understands that a child can be just as much of a threat as anyone else. For Chuuya, it’s always a matter of what wins out: the person or the threat? In this case, it was the latter.

The thing is, it's interesting the way they react when you look at the way Q eerily parallels aspects of their younger selves - as well as some things that carry over to the present.

Dazai and Q share central themes of control.

Q's mind control ability is actually referenced by Dazai as being essentially the worst kind of ability there is, and I know I've mentioned before how he seems to react poorly to those people who attempt to mentally control others, placing them on a heightened level of danger (think Fyodor, Mori). I don't think I need to get into Dazai's control freak tendencies - and what's more, after Q's introduction, after he says that mind control is the worst kind of ability there is - he ramps up his masterminding and enacts as much control as he can over the proceedings of the events that follow. Q's ability is interesting in the sense that it allows them control over others, implying Q came from a background of little control. I have also hypothesized that Dazai, with his need for situational control, similarly came from a background of little control. It's also likely they both were hurt by others - Q's ability turns any pain inflicted on them back around, giving them a way to fight back, while Dazai can level the playing field of any unfair advantages by nullifying abilities.

Q's small segment in Fifteen is also interesting: they're near completely zoned out, just staring off into the distance without responding to their environment until Dazai gets directly in their face. Then Q suddenly flips a switch and becomes all cheerful and playful. It reminds me of young Dazai's quick switches between faux cheerfulness and emptiness earlier in that same book.

They also both have quite interesting relations to pain. Q wonders why cruel things always hurt them, but Q makes this a foregone conclusion by purposely arranging others to hurt them so they have an excuse to hurt those people back. Q's pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: they hate it, but the only means of control they know in interactions with others requires it. Dazai similarly hates pain - his pain loop, however, is more emotional than physical. Dazai feels isolated and alienated from others, but his attempts to exert control require him to distance himself and rely on his mind over all else. He also leans into his inhuman side when it becomes apparent pain is unavoidable (I think often of his reactions throughout Dark Era to Ango's betrayal) - again, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He will not find anything. He will continue to be separate from humanity if this cycle continues. That was why it was imperative that Odasaku break him out of it. Self-sabotage behaviours and unhealthy cycles, physical and emotional, are apparent with these two.

For bonus points: both have injured right arms.

On a more superficial level too, Q and Dazai both have "creepy child" energy, with emphasis on the child part - they are both legitimately disturbing at times but also have moments where they show childlike interest and behaviour. (I encourage people to check out Q's mayoi cards for this - I know it's not super canon or anything but it emphasizes their "kiddishness".)

Also I'm unsure if this is significant, but there's this detail too:

Q has a very unusual right eye with a star in the center. The right eye is also the one Dazai kept covered in the Mafia. Notably also, Q's right eye is frequently obscured by their hair in key scenes.

...Does it mean something? I have no idea. But it's potentially interesting so I thought I'd add it.

Meanwhile, Chuuya and Q share themes of loss of control.

For Q, this is quite obvious. They are literally locked up; imprisoned within the Mafia and unable to exert control over their circumstances. For Chuuya, it's a little more subtle but still present, I believe: I invite people to look at his character song and mayoi (particularly aquarium) for direct references to feelings of being trapped. However, looking at Fifteen and Stormbringer, there are a few mentions of freedom that are intriguing in relation to Chuuya's character. In Fifteen, both Dazai and Shirase mention Chuuya's "freedom"... but this is almost a mockery of what's really going on. A party to celebrate Chuuya's freedom is really an elaborate set up for a trap. Shirase telling Chuuya that he should have the freedom to act on his own wishes is really a cover up for a betrayal. In both instances, Chuuya's freedom is a lie. Stormbringer, at the very least, instates a sense of agency where he at least has the freedom to make choices about his own actions - that's the whole point of his hat; it's a symbol of autonomy (also anti-mind control; more on that in a bit). However, Stormbringer also systematically strips away the start of any alternate path Chuuya could've taken - he cannot be the child he was, he never got to hear the pitch on living in the light. He feels genuine gratitude towards those in the Mafia - they have his back, which is more than he could say before, but at the same time, the Mafia is kind of the last option available there if he wants not to be alone... and Chuuya does not want to be alone. (Seriously. His character song. Please look at it. Also Stormbringer.)

Now, onto their abilities, which also parallel in the sense that they are both used to "get back" at people. Chuuya rebounds attacks - bullets shot at him ricochet back at the people who fired, and Q hurts people who hurt them. There's a very reciprocal relation to the way they use their abilities, and it is absolutely to induce fear and intimidation in others, but there's a key difference. Namely, Chuuya fights only against enemies or people who strike first. Q, on the other hand, intentionally makes "enemies" out of even innocent bystanders just to have a reason to hurt them back. A lot of this is due to Q's misanthropic nature - I doubt Q has ever had a positive bond with another person, and so Q sees the whole world as their enemy - a world which, to them, does not want them in it. Chuuya, on the other hand, has had people who care about him, and he cares about them in turn. He's a bit jaded but he doesn't hate humanity, far from it.

In that sense, Q parallels Verlaine in a sense, right down to being kept in a special secret room in the Mafia, hehe. Though again, there's differences. Verlaine chooses to stay in that room, first of all, while Q doesn't have a choice. Verlaine's angst is internal identity based while Q's is more external situation based. In response to their pain, Verlaine chooses to relinquish control of himself (Brutalization), and Q chooses to have everyone else lose control of themselves (Dogra Magra). Verlaine says "look at how monstrous I am and how I hate and hurt because of it" and Q says "look at how monstrous you all are and how I hate and hurt because of it".

Chuuya is not so far on either extreme that he emulates this - but he could've ended up like Verlaine, and he admits it in Stormbringer. He could've maybe ended up something like Q too, if he'd remained trapped as a lab rat. But see here's the key with Chuuya: his hat makes it so the choice to lose control of himself is his alone, and moreover, that losing control doesn't mean he goes out of control. He trusts that he can lose control for a bit, place it in someone else's hands for awhile before it goes too far. Trusts that the choice to lose himself will be followed by the keeping of a promise to bring him back to himself. Chuuya has bonds, and that's the key difference.

But uh. Going back to parallels... about the scene where Q gets tortured... and the scene where Chuuya gets tortured...

Is this significant...?

...is... is this...

...

.............

Um. I may be delusional. But. Well. *gestures at all of this*

So, where does this leave us? Well, we have Dazai, who sees a manipulative, mind-controlling kid that he calls a "walking disaster", and we have Chuuya, who sees a dangerous ability user that is too big of a potential threat to not be dealt with, so the two decide the best course of action is to kill them about it. The reason Dazai did not follow through is likely a mix of his stated reason (the Mafia cannot harm Dazai so long as he is needed to stop Q), and probably also that he isn't really supposed to be directly killing anymore.

Nice, guys. Really clear and consciously held self-concepts you got there.

Considering everything, it's maddening that all we have on the dynamic between these three is: Q joins in Fifteen at the same time as the other two and is assigned to Dazai since he can stop their ability. Mori doesn't know what it is at that point but assumes whatever it is will be manageable because Dazai can just nullify it. It... clearly wasn't.

I feel like there has to be something here and that we're going to be coming back to it. Q, the old Boss, how Mori got so close as an underground physician in such a short time... there's so much about the Mafia we don't know so I'm assuming the story will shift to focus on these points again... someday. Hopefully.