#Pls; it would be so fucken funny

[moregraceful]

hockeyblr ask game

tagged by the illustrious @kitnita thank you my friend ✨

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

I have told this story many times and I will tell it again because I think it is so funny and perfectly demonstrates how I can be convinced of literally anything if I have a good time. when there was the great bandom collapse and all my bandom friends turned to hockey I said fuck hockey I will never be a fan of hockey what the fuck is an edmonton oiler. and joined Twin Peaks fandom like any normal 20 year old college student in the year 2009 would. EIGHT YEARS LATER, my dear friend got into the pens and said pls pls pls get into pens hockey rpf with me the fic is so good. and I said NO. FUCK sidney crosby (did not know who sidney crosby is). 1 year later this same dear friend said pls pls pls come to this Sharks-Pens game with me, no one else will go with me bc tickets are $90 and i gotta see my man evgeni malkin, pleaseeee. and I said you want me to pay 90 american dollars for HOCKEY???? and she said yes and I will buy you a beer. I said okay FINE.

went. experienced several emotions I had never felt before. experienced several old emotions I had not felt in a long time. experience a few emotions that didn't exist. experienced emotions only shrimp feel. Pens lost but this was in 2018 so the Sharks were still pretty good and it was a genuinely skilled game of hockey in a packed arena. I was enthralled. the game was so exciting and so fun to watch. Evgeni Malkin's legs were so long. Tomáš Hertl's ass was so big. I don't even think I finished my beer I was so into it.

"haha heyyyy," I said as we walked out of SAP center. "you uh got any recs for these pens guys?" "oh boy DO I EVER!!" she said. and it was all over.

(hilariously I swore I would never be a fan of the Sharks but my terminal Bay Area brain disease took over and I fell eventually bc I always fall for the home team in the end. also bc for a long time my schedule was 9-6 or 12-9 in a library with an open plan office with an hour commute on both ends and I really cared about how people perceived my work ethic for a while, so I would just never watch or listen to games at work. by the time I quit I would watch full Avalanche games on my night shifts though dw lol.)

2. Your first ever fandom friend

trying to think of who I was friends with on hockeyblr first that wasn't someone I knew from livejournal or someone I met through someone I knew on livejournal lmfao. it took me like 10 years to figure out how to make friends with people on tumblr lol. I have no idea

3. The jersey you would most like to own

historically I have never denied myself the pleasure of owning anything however I did get in a bidding war for a Jared McCann HIFE jersey when he was on the Pens -- had to stop bidding when the jackass I was up against went over $1k bc I just could not justify spending $1k on a jersey. on the bright side this means someone paid one thousand american dollars for a jared mccann pens pride jersey lol

I wanted a Matt Murray HIFE jersey another year too but the bidding went from $500 to $1.5k in like two hours and I was like oh ok. and gave up on ever owning a pens HIFE jersey

I assume if the Cuda have a pride jersey this year I do something reckless this year lol. fingers crossed no one fucken sits so I have options

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

Cale Makar..... (didn't he try to kill jared mccann a man you just said you were willing to pay nearly $1000 for his jersey - yes and he felt bad about it. it's a violent sport who cares). I hope I am able to watch an Avs game again someday :')

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

ROOPE/ROBO HIVE RISE. also jason robertson/nick suzuki. i mean Jason Robertson in general, supremely underutilized considering how bananas hot he is

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

god have I ever actually seen anything good happen on ice, ever. oh!! When Garnet Hathaway scored a goal against the Sharks and fell over and he was just punching the air and Nic Dowd started pummeling him bc he was so excited for Garny

also Pat Sieloff pride night gwg. he said I won't do pride tape but I'll end an ot on Pride night with my only goal of the season. He did that for me.

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

pls read @kitnita's robotter primer it is literally a masterclass in ship primers. we need more ship primers like zoe's primers. i dream every day of writing a primer as masterful as zoe's robotter primer. (also her robotterpetey primer was SOOOO good and then my stupid ass gm stole petey and now he has to pay income tax. sorry to the state of texas for my gm's crimes.)

@tofumilanesa's strauss mann eating disorder fic featuring jasper weatherby that i think about every week, then i sit on the floor and yell and yell and yell

and bc i was hooting and hollering about it earlier today, the original dick trick by mcspot is one of my all time favorite fics - joe thornton/patrick marleau where patty is aspec. i read it like every six months and experience shrimp emotions. it is by no means an unknown fic but it does star the sharks so obvi not getting as much attention as it SHOULD

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

😐

I started writing this post in the grocery store check out line and then the check out guy was like if you donate money to Second Harvest food bank I'll do a voice impression. I was like what??? and he was like yeah for real :) and pointed a piece of paper with several character voices. so I donated $10 and got Charmander and Jar-Jar Binks and it was very impressive voice acting but it's been two hours and I'm at home now and I'm still so harrowed that I donated $10 just to hear Jar Jar Binks comment on the amount of kombucha I was buying

Listen to Get A Read On Me while doing the dishes and tell Beryl what a great job they did!!!!

#fresno oilers.txt

[sevlawless]

do u guys want me to post abt the update orrrrrr

Yes pls, I've just finished reading it and I would love to know ur thoughts. 👀👀

GOD ... FIRST OF ALL I WAS LITERALLY ON EDGE THE WHOLE TIME LMFAOKSKSNSBSNSJ like what else is amy gonna hit us with and everytime i was so unprepared

there's probably a million things i'm already forgetting BUT the fucking forced scene with seven was so funny im sorry 😭😭 seven is miserable as hell and arabella is thriving safe to say <3

what else .. i like the studio session time i love learning abt how the band works and what we can customize and it was so cool to brainstorm a song

orion asking what mc n august are had me CACKLING LIKE 😭 we're friends 😁 ha ha...

ALSO WTF WERE BLAKE N SEVEN TALKING ABT I NEED TO FUCKEN KNOW

fuck mc's dad !!!!!!!!!!

AND ..... ORION .......... ORION QUINN ...... ORION QUINN THE MAN U ARE .... HIS SCENE OUTSIDE THE BAR OH MY GOD IM STILL REELING FROM IT I CANNOT BELIEVE IT WHAT IS GOING ON SKSKDNDBDBDKKD

#infamous update #ask #anon #sorry this is not rlly coherent i literally just finished playing and am so mentally unwell

[traumxrei-archive]

kjsjflksdjf it's okie , you don't have to apologise ♥ congrats on 600 followers (tho you have over 600 now hehe funne number).

it's just so??? funny, his heart stops and azul's just "this is fine :]"

azul is a gamer, canon. he doesn't die, he just respawns ♥ you see him collapsed in a heap, look away, and when you turn back his body is just gone horror movie style.

it would be so funny sick that out of the entire student body, only a few are licensed first aid practitioners, and one of the few happen to be jade. you know, the guy most likely to commit first degree ??

idia being reminded to never disrespect your healer

the tweels having glass teeth in merform is based but im here with the hc that they still have funky teeth in human form and they have the most uncanny smiles 😂

(to quote avnj, marine biologist youtuber) a goofy wish of mine is absolutely to pet a moray eel. maybe get to know one, go out for dinner, talk about life, get married, have lots of children, and live together until we die of old age ♥

floyd @ his beloved:

thank you so much for the congrats false !! i really appreciate it <33 (also yea funnie number go brrrr)

azul just proving that he broke the system of the world just by being an octomer- he gets infinite extra lives, like hell, he has three hearts (though i'm not sure how the three hearts manifest in human biology sjdfksjf)

also the mental image of azul like collapsed n clearly dead. you turn around and you turn back and he's like. standing upright, dusting off his hat like nothing happened with that uncanny grin on his face (you don't see jade slinking away in the shadows lmaooo)

my god, yea good advice idia. never disrespect your healers are words to live by, like c'mon, jade can both unalive and realive you if he wanted to,,,,mans playing god fr

omg pls if you ever draw the second years n their funky teeth,,,,the tweels hiding a row of glass teeth behind their normal already-very-pointy ones bc they have a bunch of them in their mer form n it doesn't just go away hhhahaha- i feel so bad for any prey that steps in the middle of their path.

omg sounds like the ultimate life plan,,,,marrying a moray *stares over at jade and azul who could snap me like a twig* uhuh sounds like such a good idea <333

ALSO THE GIF JTKSDFKSJFS I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY ENOUGH AND THEN IT FUCKEN SAYS "SHIMP" AND I LOST ITTHIHITSFDJ

hope you're having a good day tho false !!

#/trau replies #/pointedly foolish #/moots <3 #false >:D #octa thoughts go brrr #i love speculating random shit like this #secret guilty pleasure of mine #making random ideas #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twisted wonderland

[xiindomitable]

         I await the day THEY do a teamup

#//Pls; it would be so fucken funny #;mun has spoken #//Hawks trying to vibe with Sho; Sho having absolutely no idea what to fucken do #//They must develop a team move that involves Hawks yeeting him like a pokeball and Sho flashfreezing everything #//Hawks taking Sho for flights like Tokoyami while asking about his day' how he's doing #//And Sho can't even focus on him bc he's just so awed being so high up #//Alternatively Sho Not Liking That Shit At All; and clinging to Keigo like a scared kittycat and knocking him off-balance #//Which makes things So Much Worse on them both #//Potentials of much hysterical screaming and Kei proceeding to awkwardly buddy his way through making it up to him #afterwards; and Sho just still being so SHOOK but also realizing he almost suffocated the No. 2 hero and gotten them both killed lmao #//Following that; the fun of getting Sho used to flying #//Which includes more scared kitty Sho and Kei trying not to think about how adorable Sho is all terrified bc he used to be the same way #//Totally gushes about it to Endeavor #//Hell; makes a point to show Endeavor how much fun he and Sho are having just to rile him up #//Over the stupidest things #//He'll take a selfie with Sho sneezing in the bg like 'Having the time of our lives; wish you were here <3' #//Totally not trying to bait Mr. No.1 into joining in #//For fanboy reasons but also to verify how things ar between them #//Ahh; too bad this can't happen with the current manga canon rip #//I have high hopes for the movie to give me Them interactions

[sound-overlord]

just watched the ending of the second season of rebels and here's the thots that are now in my mind in no particular order:

kanan called maul grandpa

mauls cane saber that he rips apart to be dramatic

how long was maul there before the jedi-ish arrived ? like did he have to wait for them im assuming he had some force vision or w/e that told him both abt the temple/weapon and ezra but like.... was he living there or ?

grandpa maul

what do u think maul and asohka talked abt on their turn in the lift lol ???? like for pacing reasons we dont need to kno and she was probably curt w him obviously but what did he saayyyy killing me

mauls earring gets me everytime like i know its there i can see it i am looking RESPECTFULLY

gpa maul

mauls pls help me im old~ voice is really funny to me

the inquisitors using their sabers to fly is already funny but the helicopter noise the blades made was soo fucking funny smdvkdb

like i know that this was a tragedy for asohka and kanan and ezra and mauls entire life is a tragedy and vader and the inquisitors also did not have a good time there but these episodes made me laugh so much and thats why its a comedy now

maul assigned grandpa at the kanan

ezra just has an evil holocron now i guess ???

asohka fucking DIED and we didnt even get to see the fight im literally so mad like i love violence let me see it 😤

they just pushed maul over the edge

like begone away from the plot

u red and angery grandpa

how tired of being pushed off of things do you think maul is at this point? do u think he'll develop a fear of hights ? much to think abt

what do u think maul was doing after he got thrown off the temple tho like obviously he was unconscious or he wouldve rematerialized on the ledge he was thrown off like a video games character if he wasnt but like do u think he was like *spongebob voice* "oh well. back to the dump. to the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump..." or if he just laid there for a minute

"my apprentice" yeah your apprentice, maul. "your" apprentice is a little RAT boy who's worse at being bad than he is at being good, maul. -_- typical.

"hey ezra whos the red crazy guy ?" "oh thats my grandpa"

mauls genuine excitement when he said "we're on the same side now :)" hskdhdkbdkdbd baby no

do u think at any point one of the writers were like "how do we show like via visual metaphor ezra's-and therefor any padawan's- struggle not to fall to the darkside?" and mr filoni's eyes started glowing as he responded "i know a guy"

its ~grandpa maul~

i wonder who vader was expecting to find at this sith temple tho like did he have any idea

did maul know either?? probably not. i bet he was kinda excited to see lady tano like "bitch u survived too :D!!"

the sith baking "u need two to pass" in everything in the temple is also funny to me like. they really would rip themselves apart as a group otherwise dndjdmd go off with that

maul just. blinding kanan. oOh (gay ooh) hes fucken blind now brugh. he did That.

im pretty mad that they didnt cut to maul's reaction to being called grandpa tho like did he think abt that at all, did he call ezra his apprentice because kanan used a familial term or was it more like he started doing the math like oh maybe i am about that age wait did he ever have sex before the bisection like did he have the time did ol' palpy let him or give him The Talk like obviously everyone in star wars is a virgin like hera and kanan havent even kissed yet wtf- except maybe hondo but like if maul ever DID find himself in that situation..................... oh my god he COULD be a grandpa.................

#can u tell that im obsessed with HIM #maul #darth maul #star wars rebels #rebels season 2 #lets give it up for season two !! #that i know what most of the things that happen in this show are #the fact that NO ONE has brought up that kanan called maul grandpa.......... sickening #anyway #if u read this whole thing im kissing u on the lips #like comment and subscribe on my latest insanity #brought to u by maul (grandpa)

[cyberth0t]

I really had to hunt to find ones that wouldn't be obvious because your characterization is so damn good but 19, 20, 29, 36, 41 for Riv and Ro pls

hahah wait so you already know which one cooks better and which one would fight first??? ;)

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

I don’t write this in a lot but Riv is really self-conscious about the blushing. He gets really, really flushed in a way that’s hard to get across in the sims. I’ve had ginger friends like this IRL that would blush even when they talked for too long? Like their face would just go pink from the circulation to their muscles. Let alone getting actually upset or doing physical exertion. So I think early on he would try to turn his face away from Ro a lot and Ro would just...move so they’d be eye to eye again and tell him he looked cute lol

20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?

this one . that is a rivro song.

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Riv: behind the ears, and specifically when Ro kisses his hands. it’s the way he does it, not that the area is sensitive

Ro: again this is just specific because of the gesture, but Riv will do this thing where he places a hand behind Ro’s neck and then gently pulls him down to kith his forehead and it makes Ro wanna SCREAM

36. What would their valentines gifts be to each other

Lol WELL Riv’s birthday is Valentine’s day but Ro tries real hard to be like THIS is a Valentines gift and THIS is birthday but uhh, Valentines is not a popular holiday in Riddesland at all and he finds it funny that he gets expensive chocolate and roses and stuff (Ro is traditional)?? River’s part magpie and has a fantastic sense for strange objects and so his gifts for whatever holiday are uniquely specific to the person, usually decorative. For instance, I imagine that one Valentine’s he had stolen the KEEP OFF GRASS (Niet op het gras lopen!) sign near where he and Ro once got yelled at for making out on said grass. The incident spawned numerous inside jokes, the kind that live on for years after, and so the sign itself would be real fucken funny to get as a gift.

41. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again

Damn, did u know...that there are a lot of movies in the world? lol

Since River clearly has undiagnosed ADHD, I think he’d be the movie re-watcher, and, like all of us with ADHD, he’s got multiple movies he likes to watch again periodically.

Uhh, his favorite movie though is The Fall (2006).

#coincidentally the fall is also one of MY favorite movies #its the closest thing ive ever seen irl that looks like how i dream #does that make sense? like thats what my dreams look like #inh:riv #inh:ro #rivro #fakeplasticsims

[moononastring]

hello hello hi how are you? I’ve been suffering yes, how could you tell?

LETS GO GIRLS

first, manon: WOW WOW WOW HOW THE TABLES TURN

the fact that her rebellion came from saving asterin’s like? YES YES YES YES

AND HER HERITAGE BEING HALF CROCHAN???? SHE FINDING OUT SHE MURDERED HER SISTER????????? her whole story was heartbreaking, truly. AND LEMME TELL YOU I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I like that her change was gradual, it didn’t feel forced at all, sarah made her arc very good, you were right (btw her interaction with dorian? About how she would sell her soul for news of her thirteen? 🥺 pls)

Now the burning question..... do i like her????? I must say I don’t dislike her the same way i used to but.... she’s growing on me ngl to you. ALSO ABRAXOS I LOVE HIM MY BABBBBBYYYYYYY HE’S SO PRECIOUS AND CLEVER I WANNA GIVE HIM A PAT ON THE HEAD

AND WTF HAPPENED AT SKULL BAYYYYYYY LYSANDRA MY LOVE MY QUEENNNNNNN SHE IS SO STRONG AND SO SMART SHE IS ODHDJSBDJSHDJSXHHD MVP INDEED

AND WHEN AEDION SHOT THE SEA WYVERN IN THE FUCKING THROAT PLS HE’S SO HOT

(And thei lil marriage talk??? Like i know it was ‘mostly’ for funsies and distracting her to keep her alive but......................👀)

That whole scene kept me in my toessssss!!!!!! So good and adventurous UGH i loved it SO MANY PLOT TWISTS AND AELIN LIKE BECOMING A GODDESS FOR A SECOND AND ROWANS DUMB DOG BRAIN (I LOVE HIM TO DEATH) SACRIFICING HIMSELFFFFFF AAAAA I CRI

AND MISTER AND MISSUS GALANTHYNIUS FUCKING ON THE BEACHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSS SHE WAS LITERALLY ON FIRE I LOVED IT!!!! (Also so fucking funny to finally see the famous “velvet wrapped steel” line lol) oooo and rolfe’s story was so tragic 🤧 there’s absolutely not one character in this series that is not traumatized to fucking death

nevertheless, i cannot lie to you, my friend, i am currently reading all those other parts kinda fast so i can get to my couple, my everything, the true otp of this whole series: elide and lorcan. PLS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND FOR WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT i’m past the part where the ilken appear at the carnival so they already have had their lil “heart to heart” lol ALSO HIM THIRSTING FOR HERRRRRR PLS HE IS SUCH A SIMP YES YES YES YES HE IS SO BROODY AND PERFECT AND LOYAL TO A FAULT(? Ok i’m still making my mind up about that but you catch my sentiment right?) HE IS NGFJSBDJSHDHSHDJSJDJSS YES PLS 🧃

ps: i’m v sad there was no chaol whatsoever yet 🥺🧐 my captain i wanna smooch him

HELLO. I'm so sorry I just realized I got this message because you just sent another one HAHA.

YASSSS. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE SUFFERING WITH THE TRAUMA THAT IS EOS MWAHAHA.

This book causes such whiplash, the struggle is rEAL.

Manon's arc in this book is everything *chef's kiss* I love it so so so much!!!!! Abraxos is such a dollface I love him so much ;;;;; But yes! Her and Dorian's interacts are so dkhjgsifgsif because they see each other in a way that others don't.

The whole beach scene, the battle and lysaedion moment and rowaelin fucking on the beach...I was screaming the whole time. It was so fucken stressful lmao.

But Elorcan...yes....yASSSSSSSSSSSS. I'M SO EXCITED YOU'RE EXCITED FOR THEM. They served all the damn tropes hahahaha. I love how much of a simp he is. Elide has him by the throat just by breathing.

But no worries about Chaol babe...Tower of Dawn will give you all you want and more <3

#🧃'nonnie #tog spoilers #tog #throne of glass

[littlebabycrybtch]

honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?

holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.

like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.

ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls

[elysicndrcvm]

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 

#dallyeog:intro #i'm literally in love with him he's the softest most goodest boi muse i have ever made and i just #im that meme of the samari sword guy with the cat in his arms akfkfk #IVE ONLY HAD EUNHA FOR TWO DAYS BUT IF ANYONE HURTS HIM I WILL KILL THEM AND THEN MYSELF AKKDK

[lavenderbexlatte]

Becca's here with her big ass pot of tea and fully prepared to spill it all 😂😂 pls your little stories and anecdotes are so fucken funny ngl

i just walk around exhausted and looking for snacks like some kind of giant possum and then i find people who i would rather not see 🤡🤡 

#aliceu #i really just #wish i ever saw idols when i was Dressed and Awake

[alex-fucking-dempsey]

its 12:47am i plan on finishing two episodes tonight needless to say im in a bad mood and im high this is going to be dramatic as hell.

SPOILER WARNING FOR 13 REASONS WHY SEASON 4 EPISODE 2 or 3 one of them got deleted at some point last night n idk which

This funeral is for someone who commited suicide and now im fearing for clay :(

Clay saying fuck you is my kink

Clay cursing >>>>

I want clay in my guts if you can't tell

ayO???

the calling is making me really nervous

So is SHIT weird or is clay just insane??

this is quickly becoming like a scary movie and i hate scary movies i signed up for the angst

THE SMILING CLAY HAS ME MF SENT IM SENT YALL I CANT BREAAAATHE

is it just me or do you want justin in ur guts ;-;

uR aSlEeP wHeN iM sLeEpInG why did he say it like that wtf

I NEED TO TAKE MY MORNING SHIT

I CANT MF BREATHE

I guess thats high school hey clay i was doing just fine buddy

Clay and justin reminsing abt season 1 ;-;

MY WHOLE LIFE IS CHALLENGES SET BACKS AND FAILURES CLAY IS THE BEST NARRARTOR PLEAAAAASEEEEE

thw writing being winston is too obvious it was obviously fucking the guys who beay the shit out of clay

alex: anxious bi

zach is cute the way he peaks over pls sir lemme hold ur hand

The way i talk abt clay vs the way i talk abt zach dksjsjd

zach literally could give less shits abt the world around him i was to be as carefree as him

also lets talk abt the way alex is STARRING at zach like BRO

Also Jessica screaming WERE FUCKED bitch duh coULD SAY IT ANY LOUDER

estella??? oh snap hang on i didnt think of it

Tyler: taking pictures

Hes so cute i love my boy

I literally hate the sheif hes irritating

Winston looks great in that fit bro

Justin ur wild bro

Winston is me snooping

ani is v protective shes so cute

Red painted clays locker onG THEY FRARMED HIS ASS

im so wtf

What class period is it where they are all just vibing

SHUT UP I LOVE CHARLIE

SHUT THE FUVK UP I LOVE ZACH

she called him sweetheart they are so sweet ;-;

these racists i cannot stand it they keep racially profiling tony :(

im so angry

lowkey tony and that guy kinda look the same age and i cant unsee it

Winstokn looks like the guy who plays pennywise

I WANT WINSTON TO SHUT UP LEAVE TYLER ALONE PLEASE

why do u care bro

im kind of really fucking nervous im nervous of what hes going to do

Oh tyler :(

winston is so aggravating

lEAVE CLAY ALONE

iM hErE fOr yOu eat my ass

zach is so cute hes literally planning a date with alex mr Im FuCkInG hEtErO okay pal

"Everything's fine"

"Everythings fucked"

"Same thing"

I aspire to be as chill as zach

wOULDNT LIFE BE BETTER IF WE JUET CAME OUT

FUCKING WISE CHOICE OF WORDS BUCKAROO

This man just walked onto that bus im-

THIS BITCH "thwre is a line"

"Sorry" keeps walking deeper into the bus

winston is so cute hes smile bro.

is clay gonna fight someone

god bolden is ugly

tHE SPRAY PAINT WHAT THE FUCK

tHROW IT OUT THE WINDOW???

zach arm is literally-

mATT>>>

zach is drunk isnt he??

zACH IN THE COAT

why tf is zach in alex in different groups

alex knows who winston is

Alex is so worried abt his boy

cLAY KEEPS TRYNA THROW IT AWAY AND EVERYONE IS ALL "hEyYyYy"

why would clay even do that bro??

zach looks so damn good fucking WOW

Zach is abt to go party with these ppl

THEY ARE GONNA GO PARTY

I CANT BREATHE I LOVE ZACH SO GODDAMN MUCH

clay n zach are so rare but so great together

winston dont look at alex 🔪

Jeremy looks familiar if u know who he is pls tell me

Jessica 😔😔 jesus im so nervous for her i feel like puking

Amanda: ???

THEYVE PLAYED THREE ROUNDS I LOCE THEMMMM

CLAY STILL DRINKS

cory sisj

the nerves i have for this drunk girl OH FUCK NO

i cant fucking breathe sorry yall i cant cover this lightheartedly so i wont at all

im so nervous

jess n justin :(

jess only liked justin on drugs change my mf mind

alex ;-;

winston is gonna get 🔪

Okay maybe not lowkey soft

why is looking at him like that he touched his hand EVERYONE STOP

IM NOT GAY ALEX MF STANDALL EVERYONE THE MAN WHO JUST MERE DAYS AGO KISSED ZACH

iM SO FUCKING CONFUSED EVERYDAY IM MORE N MORE CONFUSED

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY ARE IN THE POLICE STATION

THEY ARE SO DRUNK

zach looks so good in this outfit on these chairs like he became a fashion god wtf

MATT

clay: is still drunk

I cant breathe

:( clay feels replaced by justin

zahc doesnt give a fuck abr anything wow

OMG CLAY

everyone is... off

jess and ani :( so sweet

THAT SCARED ME FUCK

why is justin writing with a fine liner

I hate justin and clays fights they always tear me apart :(

oh wow :( clays freckles

Tell him. God clay im going to kill u

TWO CANS AYO? ZACH WTF

iF I WORK HARD IT COULD BE 2.9 if it aint me

yes ani queen

wHY LIE TO ME WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO HES SO FINE

wHy dIdNt yOu TeXt mE lAsT nIgHt clay shut up ongg

Winston simps for Alex so hard i cant breathe

Why is theprincipal trying so hard ur so creepy bro stg

estella is fucking pretty let me hug her :(

tHE SPRAY PAINT BRO IM-

he looks so fucking good alex thank you sir

caleb and tony :( so cute

alex ur so cute

YO WHY ARE ALEXS CALFS SO RIPPED

clay TELL SOMEONE you need to tell them. :(

i I DONT FUCK KNOW WHY clay is unintentional funny

I needed to hear that ;-;

dont bond over bryce ew

chole looks like alice from alice in wonderland and wow how haveneverr noticed that b4

he keeps standing her up ;-;

zAcHy ZaChY

ew

coffee dates bro

winston is so fucken creepy

Alex n his cane >>>

dIMPLES

omG DONT KISS

thank god

is he just gonna stay in love with zach??

i hatw this mf bro

clays pants pt. 2>>>

im sick and tired of being sick and tired of these kids not fetting happiness

wHY DOES HIS CLOSIBG LINES MAKE ME LAUGH OMG

He isnt gonna send that shit

in conclusion season 2 is still better.

#13rw #clay jensen #scott reed #zach dempsey #alex standall #justin foley #tony padilla #ryan shaver #13rw season 4 #13rw s4 spoilers

[rosyredlipstick]

R + E = LO(V)ERS

*takes a drag of a candy cigarette* clown embers? I havent heard that name in years

For the anon who requested a part 2 reddie fic rec list!! Seriously i can do this all day!!! Link to part one!!

______

everything in its right place by richietosier

Stanley Uris takes a bath and decides to go back to Derry.

-

How I already reached my daily amount of screaming about how much I love Stan Uris? Yes? All well, because THIS FIC DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT. Basically a retelling of chapter 2 with the excellent addition of mr. stanley uris, accountant man. I adore it. Please read it and message me to scream about how amazing it is that stan uris survived in canon.

______

to feel awake when my eyes are open by winchysteria

“Aw, shucks, you’d really do all that for little ol’ me?” Richie fawns in his best-worst Southern Belle voice.

Eddie is offscreen washing his hands in the kitchen sink when he says “Yeah, dumbass, I have disposable income, and the office can cope without me for like two and a half days.”

“You’re serious?” Richie asks quietly, a little overcome.

“Yeah, man,” Eddie says, stepping back into frame. “Only if you want me to, though, I mean—” His eyebrows come in for a worried landing over his eyes, as they often do, and Richie loves them when they do that but he does not want to miss out on the opportunity to have Eddie in his house instead of on his grainy cell phone screen.

“No, I want you to!” Richie says frantically. “I insist, Eduardo. Come to California.”

Eddie’s smile pops up, just briefly, a flash of white pixels as he looks down at his hands. “Okay,” he says.

“Okay.”

a fic about the various hungers of richie tozier and how they are fed. but mostly about his birthday

-

Read this fic. Love this fic. Check out winchysteria’s other fics and scream. ADORE THIS FIC. i just LOVE how the writer writes eddie and the layer of just,,,,love that runs throughout this piece. AH!

______

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego

A man wakes up in Derry, Maine with no memory and a hole in his chest.

He names himself Richie and moves on from there.

-

Oh my GEEEEE. This fic!!! I won’t spoil it for you, but I’m SO IN LOVE WITH IT. Warning: It ~~does~~ have kind of a cliff hanger and the series is incomplete as of now, but seriously READ IT ITS SO GOOD. 

______

little world by fuckener

Eddie could see the layers and layers of tape he’d wrapped around the leg of Richie’s glasses over a month ago, shaped like a little cocoon. He reached out and touched it with the tip of his finger.

“These don’t even sit straight anymore,” he said. “Why are you still wearing them?”

Richie didn’t blink from behind the lenses until Eddie took his hand back.

“I don’t know. My life is kind of a mess right now. They feel appropriate.”

“Your life isn’t a mess, Rich.”

“It really, really is.” Richie straightened, started talking with his hands when he said, “Hey, shouldn’t you be shouting? I feel like this would be easier if you were shouting.”

“You said you’d take this seriously,” Eddie said.

-

Genuinely, I just love fics where Eddie visits Richie. Like, that alone for the premise of a fic has me hOOKED. But this fic has EVERYTHING - post clown depression, caring Stan Uris, getting your life together by leaving your wife, an amazing writing of Beverly--EVERYTHING. 

______

nor rivers drown it by theparadigmshifts

"We promised to confide in each other, and cherish each other, and sustain each other, and all that jazz.”

Stan stares at her, blinks twice.

"And right now, that means going back to your horror-show hometown, and facing your trauma, and potentially killing a demon. Together."

---

Or: When Mike calls from Derry, Patty answers the phone instead.

-

Listen, I’m a reddie shipper till I die BUT STAN URIS IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. Especially when the author explores his deep friendships with the losers??? AND gives Patty an amazing characterization???? ((Seriously Patty is SO COOL HERE) this fic is amazing, amazing, pls read. Also, the second installment in this series has a Reddie focus and it’s GREAT 

______

convinced myself i'd never find you by playedwright

September 6th, 2014. This was the day Eddie first heard Dr. Richie Tozier’s voice.

Eddie worked night shifts because it meant he got to be alone, solely in charge of manning Mission Control, and because Richie slept weird hours and was almost always up to talk to him. They talked to each other a lot. More times than Eddie could even try to count. Eddie had assumed he wouldn’t fall in love with an astronaut he’d never so much as laid eyes on in person.

June 2nd, 2015. This was the day Eddie found out Dr. Richie Tozier was most likely dead.

(Or, a very loosely inspired Gravity AU)

-

Ah, yes, more playedwright fic recs because they’re AMAZING AND CAPTURE REDDIE SO WELL AND SPACE AUS???? SIGN ME UPPPP. I recced their Martian AU in the last list and this is another space AU but they somehow make it feel and read completely unique from what they’ve done in the past and manage to layer Eddie’s emotions so WELL. I LOVE IT AND THEM.

______

hi im a loser who only reads fic and only had to scroll to her second page of ao3 history to find these gems. read them, love them, pledge your loyalty to the writers by gracious comments. enjoy!!

#clown embers #it #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stanley uris #fic recs #reddie fic recs

[kuroos-babie]

KuQui Headcanons

KICKING OFF #HBDCHIQUI WITH THIS YALL HAD THIS COMING I WARNED YOU NOW LET ME LOVE MY MAN

warning: disgusting romance and affection and kuqui being stupid

[ how we met ]

during our first year, i would be classmates with yakkun and we’d be bffs right off the bat

so i’d be part of their little group hehehe

yknow how yakkun and kuroo would always bicker right? we, the shorties, would always pick a fight with kuroo 2v1

but when kuroo fights back he’ll always target me bec hahahaha it’s just so easy to piss me off and get under my skin :D

so of course he takes advantage of that bec he’s a lil shit

but i will fight back >:( always a smack on his chest or his lower back

it’ll be like a Thing between us yknow

always play fighting and skinning each other’s knees 😌😌

[ confession ]

so this dumbass thought i like kai or yakkun

bec im always so affectionate with them but act like a fucken gremlin towards him >:)

but it’s bec whenever i try to show some ✨Affection✨ he:) always points it tf out and i would get :) painfully shy :)

loves to mess with me so he’d drop compliments and flirty comments bec he knows that i would Combust On The Spot :D

segway: my friends found out that if they call me cute while im play fighting with them i would get weak and flustered and just stop annoying the shit out of them haha

u bet this dumbass figured it out too and exploits it whenever he can >:(

when he decided to finally confess his undying love for me little crush he thought he’d at least get a good laugh out of my reaction even if he gets rejected

but surprise surprise 😌😌i like a dummy back😌😌

[ dates ] 

our dates aren’t like Date dates per se,,

we’ll always just study in our fav little cafe and call it a date

we’d quiz each other while exchanging banter and sharing food (tf that’s my fav thing ever pls i need that rn)

some dates are just us walking around somewhere looking for food to eat and just talk and show each other funny shit we saw on the internet

and some dates are just us lounging on the bed or the sofa, watching cooking videos and weird documentaries 

anytime and anywhere we’re together is p much a date so :DDD

[ how we show affection ]

as an Affectionate Babie 😌😌

he doesn’t mind me being sweet with yakkun or kai

bec we’re Bros, ya feel?

but when it gets a lil too much, he’ll pull me to the side and just wrap his whole entire body around me

loves sitting me down on his lap and just snuggles on to me while i do my stuff

also boops my nose all the gotdamb time >:(((

squishes my cheeks and kneads them like dough

also tolerates my shit all the time

even when i bite :D

i’d be biting his fingers, the base of his thumb, his cheeks, his shoulders

SJKDFSKDHFSD IM JUST SO GIGIL OKAY (idk what it is in english but it’s basically when you feel the overwhelming urge to squish something bec it’s too cute and lovely hhh)

when i bite i leave smol kisses and he just :’)

loves playing with each other’s hands and pressing kisses on the fingertips, palms, wrists, knuckles JUST EVERYWHERE

i very selfishly headcanon him to have Physical Touch as his love language so it’s how we show affection most of the time

but also Words of Affirmation and Quality Time :’D

[ random stuff ]

i am a very sleepy person in general and i get kinda grumpy when im sleepy

so when im feeling like needing a nap i would just lean on his shoulder and have a Quick Nap

he’d always have a hand on the side of my head to keep me from slipping

i would sometimes take his hand and lay my cheek down on it and space tf out

i told u idk how he tolerates my shit

his gallery is just full of extreme close-up shots of my face

his homescreen is one of those pics lmao

we dont have a decent picture of each other in our phones let’s be real

all aesthetic pics are taken by kai 😌😌ily man

he keeps extra hair ties on his wrist, pockets and wallet just in case i forgot mine

also extra lipbalm bec ur girlie has a propensity to pick at the skin of her lips until it’s bleeding so she can have no chapped lips 😌😌

i’d have a ton of lipbalm flavors so i’ll just ask him “what flavor of kiss u trying to have today?”

his choices: peach, strawberry, coconut, mango, cake

we always share clothes!!

mine are always oversized so they fit him just right

loves wearing my shirts bec they smell like peaches and vanilla

he’d be my harshest critic esp when it comes to cooking

i’d let him taste everything i cook and make him tell me exactly what i need to work on

it’s always “too much salt” or “undercooked” :(((( im trying 

we don’t mind spending some time apart since we regularly update each other what we’re up to 

wears black shirts when he’s trying to be Sexc bec this mfer knows how damn well it works on me >:(((

i would always talk about how much i hate him and how i wanna punch him in the face and kick his stupid shins

but he just laughs at me bec im saying all those while snuggling up his chest and making him pet my hair

you’d always catch us playing something like Wordscapes or Criminal Case, sometimes those hand games like thumb wrestling or ketchup

comes with me to all hospital appointments (i go every 3 weeks) and takes care of me when i get admitted (like twice a year lmao)

we’d live together after high school and just forget to get married bec we are a Pair of Dummies  😌😌

if uve reached this point, pls collect ur free kiss and a cat pic in my inbox mwa!!

#kuqui😈 #hbdchiqui

[beigejournals]

Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.  

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me. 

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to  reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot.  i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this 

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way   also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh

#beigedrafts #lucifer #spoilers

[spliitsoul]

DAT KINK MEME  //  ciel phantomhive 

GENERAL

ROMANCE/AFFECTION:  tbh ciel is a little... ehh on this one?? like i have him as greyromantic but in a sense it’s also kinda demi bc?? he simply DOESN’T to feel it, understand it with just anyone. its not something that comes naturally to him-- he doesn’t feel romance and romantic affection like... ever?? for strangers/people he’s just met?? it’s only ever something that grows with a looott of time knowing a person and building trust. and even then-- feeling it, having all those impulses toward romantic affection just?? it’s rare. when he DOES feel it, hes very specific in it. hugs etc are to be initiated by him, never spontaneous-- hence why he always tenses up when people touch him without permission. but yeah just... it’s incredibly rare for him to develop those kinds of feelings and desires towards a person and in fact-- it isn’t really until later in his time with sebastian that it clicks, i guess?? and i think he realises it’s bc what he see’s as romantic/affectionate etc aren’t?? what others might?? but the fit with it is hella good with sebastian bc they’re both on this wavelength so different to everyone else.  HANDJOB/FINGERING:  ciel looooveess giving handjobs okay bc like?? he loves just Touching his partner in such a way that the response is clear, instant. he also feels hella in control then too. but also he loves being completely taken apart, undone by someone he trusts.  DEEPTHROAT: oh he triieess and def gets better  SWALLOWING: not at first, at first he thought it was a hella nice Idea but didn’t actually like it... but then he really grew into it and developed a kink tbh  EDGING: oh my god he will outright deny it, say he loathes it, fucken hates every damned second-- but actually he Needs it. in spite of the fact hes out of control when in this situation... he feels so in control somehow-- safe, entirely in that other persons hands. but again-- this isn’t something he’d do with just anyone. it’s only ever someone he trusts 100%, as with pretty much all sexual stuff tbh  TEASING:  hes a fucken b r a t and will happily spend 24/7 teasing his partner.... only bc ciel is literally like ‘talk shit, be a brat, i’ll get fucked harder :):)’   but he whines like fucken when He’s the one being teased-- full on tears. but also if the person Stops he’ll sulk 

DOMINATION

DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?:   kinda funny really bc he likes to think hes dom and in charge and has the illusion of it, but tbh... hes just a fucken bratty submissive  TOP OR BOTTOM?:   this boii is a bottoooommm!!  but also like?? bottoming from the top hell yes ‘all eyes on me pls’  DOMESTIC SERVITUDE:  oh ciel...oohh ciel run all u want, we all know u got this massive kiinkkk. like 10/10 as he gets older, this becomes a thing like. Actually Gets Off on ... fuck it we know we’re talking about sebastian here. aint no other partner. he actively gets off on sebastian serving him like, domestic ways pfftt  PETPLAY:  hell!! fucken!! yeeess!! cat ears, hell yes. collar. heck yeesss. paws?? yeesss!! tail plug?? yeeeesss!! being called ‘kitten’ dING DING DIIINGG !! he really likes getting lost in that headspace tbh  DISCIPLINE:  ??? i mean c’mon ciel fucken needs it. ;D;D  BEGGING:  ciel, our lord and earl, phantomhive, does not beg for anyone.  --except the fact he totally does and wont admit it but he loves being fucken Pushed to begging like. gdi  FORCED ORGASM:  .....another case of ciel yelling that this is disgusting and he hates it and burying his head into the pillow to hide from the fact that he hella gets off on it. he really likes just... being Made to let go ok. but hes also like?? a fucken dick too and 10/10 gets off on making it happen with his partner  ORGASM DENIAL:  tied in with edging i guess-- he loooveess 

RESTRICTIVE

GAG: he doesn’t like this one tbh. the only type of gag he’ll allow is a hand... maaybee a glove shoved in his mouth.  COLLAR: fuck yess  LEASH:  heckin yeeaahh!!  BONDAGE (LIGHT):  plss BONDAGE (HEAVY):  depends how heavy we talkin’ but hes hella interested 

TOYS

DILDOS:  10/10 has lots of them, but also would def wanna use one on a partner  PLUGS: ughh honestly he adooorress  VIBRATORS: again a case of has so many  SOUNDING: he’s torn between ‘fUCK NO’ and also ‘get me in a real intense scene and u know im down for anything’   COCK RING: yiisss... but also def would buy for his partner 

GROUPS

ORGY: nopenopenoopeeee. major issues for ciel  THREESOME: hes curious VOYUERISM: he likes it in theory, but in practice he gets half grumpy half turned on  EXHIBITIONISM: only the kind where it’s only a threat like?? he doesnt Actually wanna be watched unless it’s by just his partner 

PAIN

LIGHT: definitely HEAVY: eeeeven better !!  NIPPLE CLAMPS: not overly fond really?? again, likes the idea/aesthetic but doesn’t actively enjoy it too much  WAX: but this one is heellaaa!!  BITING: listen. he wants to fucken bleed from it that’s how much he likes it. also is a possessive bitch and bites the fuck outta his partners in return  CANING: well he didn’t have a kink for it.... BUT THEN PROFESSOR MICHAELIS HAPPENED  SPANKING: ciel vc: if im not getting spanked at some point is it really even sex??  SCRATCHING: he does a lot of scratching  HAIR PULLING: he gets so sulky but it’s actually an instant ‘welp look at that now im in sub space’ 

#asdfgyhuj i love ciel sm gdi #but also i sob bc literally like....with all of these its like?? hes looking at sebastian #bc #he is the Only Person he fucken trusts to let near him #✦ headcanon // ciel phantomhive. ✦ #✦ dash memes // ooc. ✦

[doggonneit]

The Last Red Scribble | Part 1/2

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima

Rating: T for Teen

Warnings: Single Parent AU

A.N. This is a part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!

Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo.

[Read on AO3]

Monday PM

(2:33) I’m about to slam my head into the wall. (2:33) Tobio got into another fight. (2:34) He’s fucking five, how does he keep picking fights.  

(2:35) what a champ

(2:35) What the fuck, Akiteru. (2:35) You’re not supposed to say that.

(2:36) wrong number bud but legit (2:36) tobios got a future in cage fighting (2:36) whos tobio

(2:38) Oh, sorry. Wrong number.

(2:40) well dont leave me hanging (2:40) i need to know who to put my money on in the future

(2:41) Don’t make this weirder than it already is.

(2:41) :)))))

(2:42) Tobio’s my son.

(2:43) are you an old man (2:43) is that why you started texting me (2:44) STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

(2:45) What the fuck, no. (2:46) I messed up my brother’s new number. (2:46) Evidently.  

(2:46) eviDENTly (2:47) arent you all smart and proper (2:47) thats how i like em

(2:49) Are you seriously flirting with me over text? (2:49) You don’t know stranger danger at all. (2:50) I don’t have time for this.  

(2:53) :((((( (2:55) come back

(2:56) I have to deal with my son.

(2:56) what an adulty adult (2:57) tell tobio hes a fucken champ

.

Tuesday AM

(7:22) sooo (7:22) i know your brothers name and your sons name (7:22) but not your name

(7:25) …

(7:25) hint hint

(7:26) Have you seen the latest stranger danger campaign? (7:26) It’s got your face all over it.  

(7:27) you think youre being funny but my mates crack jokes about my ugly mug making children cry (7:28) would tobio cry if he ever saw me

(7:30) He doesn’t even know what you look like.

(7:31) *image attached*

(7:34) I really don’t have time for this. I’m getting Tobio ready for school.

(7:35) if life were a party youd be the clown that sucks all the fun away (7:35) XP

(7:36) Why are you making that face?

(7:36) you hurt my feelings so im sticking my tongue out at you

(7:38) No-one uses that emoji for hurt feelings.

(7:39) i just did (7:39) XP (7:39) oh look i just did it again (7:39) XP (7:39) and again look at me go

(7:42) All right, all right, I’ll ask. (7:44) Tobio says you look like you killed a cat.  

(7:44) how does someone even look like that (7:44) your son needs glasses (7:45) what do you think then (7:45) smouldering eyes wicked grin (7:45) admit it im pretty

(7:46) Yeah, pretty atrocious. (7:46) What’s with that hair?

(7:47) HI THIS IS KUROOS BEST FREIDN FOERVER BOKUTO PLS DONT METNION HIS BEHDEAD IT MAKES HM SELF CONSCOIUS

(7:47) Aww. Is Kuroo sulking now?

(7:47) sajfkdsjp (7:47) asdffhajlkkasdfghijkl

(7:48) I feel like I should be concerned. (7:50) I am actually concerned.  

(7:51) how do i get rid of a body

(7:51) What.

(7:51) how do i (7:51) get rid of (7:51) a body

(7:51) Cook him and serve him to the police who knock on your door asking for his whereabouts.

(7:52) babe thats brilliant (7:52) youre a committed accomplice now

(7:52) On a scale of 1-10, how often do you hit on nameless and faceless strangers over the phone?

(7:52) 1 (7:53) its only ever been you (7:53) *heart emoji*

(7:53) I’m flattered.

(7:53) we have a dilemma (7:54) you know my name and my face (7:54) ive lost the advantage (7:54) who are you o mysterious phone man

(7:54) You really want to know?

(7:55) yes!!

(7:55) Well (7:55) My name is (7:55) *middle finger emoji*  

(7:56) i am (7:56) fucking betrayed (7:56) my own accomplice

(7:57) :)))))

.

Wednesday PM

(4:17) *image attached* (4:17) fight gloves for tobio when he grows up lololol

(4:20) Don’t even joke about that.

(4:21) did he get into another fight (4:21) whatd he do steal another kids party pie

(4:22) He ruined someone’s sandcastle.

(4:22) that punk

(4:22) He also threw the bucket at their head and made them cry.

(4:23) holy shit (4:23) i know you cant see but im pissing myself laughing

(4:23) That’s the second time this month. (4:24) Is he going for a new record? How concerned should I be? (4:24) I should ask my brother for advice.  

(4:24) okay but in all seriousness (4:25) dont kids usually act out because theyre upset about things

(4:26) Yep.

(4:26) you sound like you know whats going on

(4:27) Yep.  

(4:27) is the thing not an easy fix

(4:28) Tobio can’t exactly move back into his old neighbourhood and old school.

(4:28) ohhh (4:28) i get that totally been there (4:29) though that happened to me in middle school so i handled it differently

(4:30) You mean you didn’t stomp on sandcastles and throw buckets at people’s heads? (4:30) Shocking.  

(4:31) real mature of me ayy (4:31) but its chill tobio just needs time to adjust

(4:32) He’s been living with me for four months already.

(4:33) hes trying to survive a new environment (4:33) go easy on him

(4:35) All good and well until he accidentally kills one of his classmates.

(4:35) what could he possibly do (4:35) nah dont answer that

(4:36) You’re not inspiring much confidence right now.

(4:37) okay hows this (4:38) the most dangerous thing in a school is a pencil (4:38) if he stabs it through someones eye (4:38) what are the chances of a five year old having that good of an aim

(4:39) We could be surprised.

(4:40) lets give tobio the benefit of the doubt (4:40) have i brought your fears to rest or nah

(4:50) You’re interesting to talk to, I’ll give you that.

(4:50) is that why youve kept talking to me despite the anonymous and rather suspicious nature of our relationship

(4:50) Sure.

(4:51) *heart eyes emoji*

.

Thursday PM

(6:44) ive been thinking

(6:46) Make sure you give yourself a break every ten minutes. We wouldn’t want to strain your mental capabilities.

(6:47) hush child i got something to say (6:47) about tobio sort of

(6:48) I’m listening.

(6:49) so yesterdays conversation made me go all introspective (6:49) and if all tobios doing is throwing things (6:50) the lil guy will go far in life (6:50) i mean when i was five i was eating sand

(6:51) Congratulations, you just tripped over the lowest bar society set for its most basic standards.

(6:51) savage i love it (6:52) bokuto just called me a masochist (6:52) he doesnt even know what that means i bet he learned it from akaashi

(6:54) … (6:55) Who’s Akaashi?  

(6:55) the most beautiful man to grace the earth and bokutos boyfriend (6:55) im not even kidding his face was sculpted by gods (6:56) *image attached*

(6:57) Wow.

(6:57) exactly (6:57) no one knows how bokuto snagged him (6:58) my moneys on witchcraft

(6:59) Have a little more faith in your Best Freidn Foerver.

(6:59) hes my best bro but he does NOT have that much game

(6:59) You misspelled Best Freidn Foerver.

(7:00) all right he types like an electrocuted toddler (7:00) hes there for me during the good bad and ugly (7:00) and i support him 100% (7:01) but theres no logical explanation for how he got akaashi

(7:01) Maybe he has charm.

(7:02) gasp (7:02) babe (7:02) did you just imply i dont have any charm

(7:03) I didn’t say anything of the sort but it’s an apt description.

(7:03) you really are a savage (7:04) totally my type just saying

(7:05) For all you know I’m a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly.

(7:05) im a personality kinda guy anyway (7:05) so what do you look like

(7:07) Shh.

(7:07) ?

(7:07) Can you hear that?

(7:07) ??

(7:08) Stranger danger.

(7:08) DUDE COME ON (7:08) or are you actually a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly (7:08) because no judgement if you are

(7:10) *image attached*

(7:11) holy shit (7:11) HOLYS HIT (7:11) AJGSFAJKALHHJKKKLLLL

(7:13) Uh. (7:14) Hello? (7:15) Are you there? (7:18) I’m actually kind of worried now.  

(7:20) Hi, this is Akaashi. Kuroo’s fine; he’s muttering to himself on the floor. (7:21) Something about being sculpted by gods and touched by angels?

(7:22) What the fuck.

(7:22) Nice selfie :)

.

Friday PM

(9:28) arms (9:28) abs (9:28) legs (9:28) sore

(9:31) Do I really want to know? (9:31) No, I don’t.  

(9:32) :( (9:32) i experienced life death and hell all in the same day

(9:33) Now I can’t not know.

(9:33) i had vball training for a match next week and it was torture (9:33) and when we thought it was done no (9:34) we had practice matches with alumni and it was torture round two (9:34) then i had coaching which i usually love (9:34) but the kids kept spiking balls at me (9:35) 10 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS BODY 50 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS HEAD 100 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS NOSE

(9:36) You play volleyball?

(9:37) thats all you took from that

(9:37) I used to play volleyball in high school.

(9:37) wait are you serious (9:37) what position??

(9:38) Middle blocker.

(9:38) me too!! (9:38) what are the chances of us both playing vball and being middle blockers (9:39) this is destiny i feel it

(9:40) That was another lifetime ago lol.

(9:40) once a vball player always a vball player (9:40) how tall are you

(9:41) 195cm, why?

(9:43) 195 and yOU DONT PLAY VBALL (9:43) this is a crime (9:44) tell me tobio plays vball

(9:45) I... don’t think he’s ever tried it?

(9:46) the outrage (9:46) how could you (9:47) i just felt my heart crack (9:47) oohhh the pain

(9:47) Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?

(9:47) i (9:47) ijakl

(9:48) ?? (9:50) Did you disappear on me again. (9:50) This seems to be a growing trend.

(9:51) Hi, this is Akaashi again. Kuroo is currently incapacifjskkl (9:51) WAHT DID U DO TO MY BSET FREIND FOREBER WHYS HE ALL RED N CHOKN ON HIS WORSD

(9:52) Oh. (9:52) Scroll up.

(9:52) OHO (9:53) OHOHO

.

Saturday AM

(11:10) my mates wont stop laughing at me (11:10) i live in a house of dicks (11:11) cant even escape them theyre on my team (11:11) i blame you

(11:15) Sucks to be you lol.

(11:15) are you taking pleasure in my pain

(11:15) It sounds wrong when you put it that way.

(11:15) ;) (11:16) i’m still upset though (11:16) make me feel better?

(11:17) You seem to think I possess the ability to feel pity. (11:17) I don’t.  

(11:18) you know what you do possess (11:18) the ability to feel annoyance (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) is it annoying yet (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) !

(11:19) ALL RIGHT, STOP.

(11:19) victory

(11:20) What do you want.

(11:17) whats your name

(11:17) Are you serious.

(11:17) i wanna know

(11:18) You reek of desperation.

(11:18) not gonna change my mind

(11:19) …

(11:19) wanna do the whole !!! thing again

(11:21) Fine. (11:21) You’ll ask politely.

(11:21) dom huh (11:21) im into that (11:22) will you pretty please with a cherry on top tell me what your name is

(11:22) N (11:22) O (11:22) *heart emoji*

(11:24) i cant believe (11:24) how could you (11:24) youre so mean

(11:24) :)))))

(11:25) shouldve expected it (11:25) do you always play with peoples hearts like this

(11:25) I enjoy jerking you around. You make some pretty good entertainment.

(11:26) glad to be of service :’)

(11:26) I suppose I could throw you a bone.

(11:26) im not falling for it this time

(11:26) Tsukishima.

(11:27) …

(11:27) My name is Tsukishima.

(11:27) it is (11:27) up down left right with you

(11:27) Disappointed?

(11:28) NEVER WITH YOU (11:28) TSUKKIIII

(11:28) No. (11:28) Do not.  

(11:28) i love your name its beautiful like you

(11:29) I revoke your right to say my name ever again.

(11:29) TSUKKIIII (11:29) *heart eyes emoji*

(11:32) I have never regretted anything more in my life.

.

Sunday PM

(3:24) You said you have a volleyball match next week, right?

(3:28) is this a dream (3:28) are you actually texting me first

(3:29) Miracles abound today.

(3:29) yeah i have a match next week why

(3:29) I mentioned it to Tobio and he got really excited. (3:30) He made me explain everything. I spent hours talking about rules and moves.  

(3:30) i  knew that kid had the vball genes in him

(3:30) I even dug up some old practice tapes from high school. (3:31) He’s obsessed with setting.  

(3:31) hed get along with my setter (3:31) that arrogant ass (3:31) i love him though

(3:32) *image attached*

(3:33) what… is that

(3:33) Tobio’s lack of artistic talent.

(3:33) i hope you didnt tell him that

(3:34) He said it was you blocking and scoring the winning point.

(3:35) he drew a picture of me?

(3:35) He captured your likeness down to the last red scribble.

(3:35) omg… omg...

(3:37) It’s not that big of a deal.

(3:37) youre not ruining this for me (3:37) this is the best day of my life

(3:37) Remember when we talked about low standards?

(3:37) your son loves me

(3:38) He drew a picture of you.

(3:38) and how many other people has he drawn???

(3:38) …

(3:38) thought so (3:39) tell my biggest fan i said hello and thank you (3:39) its the prettiest picture ive ever gotten

(3:39) Don’t get nudes much, huh.

(3:40) wow (3:40) WOWW (3:40) that went beyond savage (3:40) that was straight up murder

(3:41) You like it.

(3:41) yeah im really wondering about that masochistic streak

(3:41) About that.

(3:42) ??

(3:42) I was thinking (3:42) If you were interested (3:42) I could help you explore that.

(3:44) i just dropped my fuckign phone (3:44) are you fucking with me right now

(3:45) Yes.

(3:46) i fucking hate you

(3:46) No, you don’t.

(3:46) no i don’t

(3:46) Why do you keep falling for these things.

(3:47) actually im falling for you

(3:47) Seriously.

(3:47) hope (3:47) its all i got buddy (3:49) is this going to be like last time when you said no but then changed your mind

(3:50) No.

(3:50) dammit

.

Monday PM

(7:18) happy one week anniversary babe (7:18) do i get a gift (7:18) eyebrow wiggle

(7:21) Did you just type -eyebrow wiggle- at me

(7:22) *video attached*

(7:23) I did not ask for a video of you wiggling your eyebrows.

(7:23) its my gift to you

(7:23) I’m so… grateful.

(7:24) cmon gift gift gift

(7:24) I don’t know, I don’t have anything. (7:24) Actually (7:25) *image attached*  

(7:25) omg is that tobio (7:25) hes so fucken cute wtf (7:26) look at those hamster cheeks (7:26) whats he eating

(7:26) Blueberry cupcake. (7:26) It’s his reward for behaving in school.  

(7:27) aww no fights today?

(7:28) His teacher said he engaged positively with other students. He was trying to play volleyball with them.

(7:28) omg thats adorable (7:28) i see where he gets it from (7:28) are you teaching him how to play

(7:30) I taught him how to receive but I’m rusty. (7:30) I should look into classes for him. (7:30) Do they even have classes for kids that young?  

(7:31) the rec centre where i coach does (7:31) idk about other places though

(7:31) Whereabouts is your rec centre?

(7:32) shh

(7:32) You’re not doing the stranger danger thing on me.

(7:32) do you hear that

(7:32) Can you hear my sigh travelling across the wind.

(7:33) STRANGER DANGER

(7:33) Are you done.

(7:33) my centres in tokyo lol

(7:34) It wouldn’t happen to be the Tokyo Sports and Recreation Centre?

(7:34) how did you know that (7:34) oh my god this is real (7:34) STRANGER DANGER

(7:36) It’s a twenty minute walk from my place.

(7:36) i know i just joked about stranger danger but should you really be telling me that

(7:37) Take it as proof that I don’t think you’re a predatory serial killer.

(7:37) thats the nicest thing youve ever said to me (7:38) *heart emoji* (7:38) well if youre interested the kiddy classes are wed 5pm and sat 10am (7:38) you can go to one or both

(7:40) Hmm.

(7:40) times no good?

(7:42) My brother has Tobio on both those days. (7:42) I’ll have to talk to him about this.  

(7:43) ahh dont wanna encroach on uncle nephew bonding time

(7:43) I don’t think Akiteru will mind-- he used to play volleyball too.

(7:43) how did you ever think tobio wouldnt be a vball player (7:44) its clearly in his genes

(7:44) Wishful thinking. I never really liked volleyball.

(7:45) what no (7:45) why

(7:46) It was just a school club. I only did it because it was something to do.

(7:47) you come into my house

(7:48) Lol.

(7:48) well hey its paying off now (7:48) i bet tobio looks at you like youre a god

(7:49) Yeah. (7:49) It’s the first time he’s really looked at me. (7:50) So thanks. (7:50) :)

#kurotsuki #kurotsukiexchange #Kuroo Tetsurou #tsukishima kei #haikyuu!!