#Sean Lock Funny Jokes

[vixthefantheorist]

Who sent these messages?

So I was just looking back on the stream... well the latter half of it. Since I'm talking about the section of time (ha) of where this appears:

Mostly due to the importance of why it's there. This was Sean's failsafe loop to play in case the stream went tits up for some reason or another. But not only was it a failsafe for that situation but it served for another purpose that didn't get to be played out as planned since Sean decided to play then entire thing in one day.

As we all know, the IRIS Project was originally going to play out over the course of about a week, 5 days, if I recall correctly. Each day the stream would appear at some time, have us all play a mini-game to earn a Chase clip. (No joke the minigames were fun. Challenging since we're talking about thousands of people entering commands all at once but still fun IMO) But then IRIS's systems will be alerted to our meddling and kicks us back out as IRIS does a maintenance on their servers in attempt to keep us out. And we're 'locked out' for the day and have to wait the next day to try hacking again. Thus the above image appears. BUT there is something else within that little Server Maintenance Required loop that I just noticed a couple of days ago, that I did share on the official JSE discord. I'm sure others caught onto it waaaay before I have but I haven't seen it be discussed so I'll share it.

In that loop, four words appear.

I can imagine that these words only are suppose to show up during the four days we get locked out of the camera systems before the final day in which Anti breaks into the facility in order to apprehend Chase for himself.

So my question is...

Who the hell sent those?

Like someone on the inside of IRIS, giving us a warning before locking us out for the day then reopen it for us to pop back in to hack? Like, I dunno? Arin? Henrik?

Or could it be out mystery team that had broken into the facility ahead of Anti? Perhaps Echo?

Not sure... but notice how the words get a bit more frantic as it goes. 'Patience' is very clear and easy to read and smaller. But the words 'Wait', 'Don't Look' and 'Hide' get more fuzzy, somewhat harder to read and larger, as if someone is panicking and yelling at us to stop what we're doing.

Granted, we don't listen, too curious and stubborn to see what happens to Chase next. And determined to free him somehow. (Honestly, not sure how big of a part we play in the story, if at all, in the way it affects the story. Or we're in another POV of another character trying to help Chase and the others are yelling at them to stop because they just allowed Anti pass through the defenses? Or it's just meta fun for lulz?) I'm not sure myself, but either case, someone on the other side of the line was panicking for good reason. Anti did tear through the IRIS facility with terrifying speed. (Which brings me to go off topic for a moment. I think the reason why there's no huge pool of blood for Anti to step in and leave footprints as he approaches Chase in that hallway; is because I believe Anti was alternating between walking and floating through the facility and killing people. And the last room he killed in, probably had a pool of blood to step in and he just decided to float in Chase's direction to intimidate and showcase his power to him; before setting himself down to walk closer to him in the end.

-snerk- Now imagine finding several spots of the facility with bloody footprints. Kinda funny, but also clever if he wants to confuse anyone from IRIS following him or investigating what happened of where he was going in the building. If he cared about hiding that at all.)

Anyway, back on topic, the question still stands. Who left those messages in the server maintenance clip? I'm curious to hear your thoughts! Who do you think did that? And were those messages meant for us, the viewers? The 'character' (if there is one)? Or... perhaps meant for Chase?

Perhaps the messages were for Chase...

After all, Anti is the one seeking him out... Chase the one losing his patience... and the one who shouldn't look and must hide from Anti...

EDIT:

I also figured something about the words too. 'Patience' is the only word written in black, while the other words are in white or a mix of both but static. Maybe 'Patience' is more of something of Anti being the one to say it to us viewers to be patient for his arrival or someone telling Anti to be patient so that things will be easier for him.

Either way, its fun! :D

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jseprojectiris #jse iris #jse iris project #antisepticeye #chase brody #jse egos #jse anti #jse chase #jse fandom #jse theories #jsegos #jse project iris clues

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: A Night Out with the Guys (5x02)

The poor Guide lol.

Cons:

I will say, the Guide isn't really my favorite part of the show, as much as I love Kristen Schaal. So when the show seems to lampshade how superfluous she feels, making jokes about how the other vampires forgot about her, didn't notice she hadn't been around, I find myself sort of agreeing with that sentiment. She's great, but she doesn't seem to add much that we don't already have with the other characters, and I don't miss her when she's gone! Sorry!

Pros:

I did enjoy Nadja's plot thread even without caring much for the Guide, specifically her discovery of Little Antipaxos! It was so fun to see her connect back with her roots, while being completely and utterly oblivious to the poor way she's treating the people around her, specifically the Guide. Her enthusiasm about her original home is infectious and delightful.

Lazlo and Nandor hanging out with Sean and his buddies made for a lot of laughs. They're playing an extended game of chicken with each other, basically, both refusing to use hypnosis to get themselves out of trouble as the evening devolves into pure chaos. Sean and his buddies harass a cop, steal his car, crash his car, shoot his gun off into the air, get arrested... and all the while, Lazlo shows how charm can work just as well as hypnosis. But in the end, once they're all locked up behind bars, Lazlo admits that he's never been very good at hypnosis, and that's why he tried to mock Nandor about using it so often. Nandor uses his powers to get them out, and then he backs Lazlo up, claiming it was his charisma that saved the day after all.

What works so well about this show is that it's 95% jokes, but then every once in a while they toss in something to make it clear that these people actually care about each other and enjoy one another's company. The fact that Lazlo admitted a weakness to Nandor, and then Nandor helped him out and also let him take the credit, shows that there's a real affinity between them. It makes all the comedy land even harder, that there's a genuine backbone to it.

And then there's Guillermo, trying to figure out why his vampire change doesn't seem to have worked out. Clearly something's going on - he's able to give himself bat ears when he attempts to transform. The Baron doesn't know what's up with all that, though they do run an experiment to see what happens when a vampire gets double-bitten by two different vampires, in order to perhaps change Guillermo further. Their test subject ends up exploding into gory mist, so it sounds like getting Nandor to bite Guillermo isn't going to be the answer to these issues either.

I loved the beat at the end where Guillermo inadvertently spills the beans and tells Lazlo he's been bitten. Lazlo is furious and says that the news will probably kill Nandor. He suggests convincing Nandor to bite him, and when Guillermo says "I don't think that will work," Lazlo replies: "You don't? Well then you're fucked." That was a big laugh but also an example of what I was talking about above. Lazlo is legitimately pissed off, and Guillermo is legitimately scared. This is a funny show with a lot of jokes, but the stakes are underpinning the shenanigans super well!

That's all for now. I'm officially so excited for the other vampires (Nandor especially, of course) to find out about Guillermo's condition. It's sure to be a lot of fun and chaotic nonsense!

7/10

#review #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows review #wwdits #wwdits review

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

every time i see your posts i read them in a jo brand voice. it is never not funny

This is one of my favourite messages I've ever got on this site, that is brilliant and I love that idea that I ever say anything that could be read in Jo Brand's voice. Fun fact, I made this blog on August 11, 2020, and have never changed the basic markers that I set up that day.

Tumblr asked me what I wanted the blog name to be. I thought about what Britcom quotes I liked that I could give to my Britcom blog, and the first thing that came to mind was:

Sean Lock was very much still alive at the time and would be for another year, it wasn't a tribute to his death thing. I just thought it was a very funny image. Sean Lock at a zoo, looking at all the meerkats frantically running around digging holes, trying to tell them it's all fine. There's something vaguely metaphorical there too, of the anxious human tendency to let your thoughts run wild like meerkats, until you need Sean Lock to come in and tell them it's fine.

Tumblr asked me for a blog tagline, and I thought of:

They asked me for a cover image, and I went with my favourite season of my favourite panel show:

And they asked me for a profile picture. I thought for a bit, about of all the comedians I knew at the time (which is far fewer than I know now, but I think this remains true), who represents me best? Who do I want to put up there, not just on my blog, but in the spot that will act as my avatar, the stand in for an actual image of myself?

I thought of Jo Brand, but not just any Jo Brand. The Jo Brand from those tabloid articles the day after she made the joke (joke, you know, like on Top Gear) about battery acid on Nigel Farage on Have I Got News For You. A bunch of different sites put up articles about it, and one featured her with a coffee in her hand, the drink foregrounded as though they were trying to imply she'd just poured it on a racist and was wishing she had something stronger. Sartorially and facially, she conveyed a message of generally not giving one fuck what anyone might think of what she poured on racists.

I put that in as the picture to represent me. It's been over two years and I've had no desire to change any of those (okay, maybe I've thought about changing the cover photo now that I know about the rumour that Noel Fielding dated a teenage girl while in his thirties, but I try not to think about that one too hard). I enjoy having them represent me.

As I said, I would be honoured to have anyone imagine anything about me in Jo Brand's voice. Thanks for that, I hope you have a lovely night.

[recentanimenews]

Saint? No! I’m Just a Passing Beast Tamer!: The Invincible Saint and the Quest for Fluff, Vol. 2

By Inumajin and Falmaro. Released in Japan as “Seijo-sama? Iie, Toorisugari no Mamono Tsukai desu! – Zettai Muteki no Seijo wa Mofumofu to Tabi wo suru” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Meteora.

As with the last volume, the main thing you notice about this book is that it’s a comedy. That said,, things are actually pretty dark when Kanata’s not on the scene. The church is evil and is taking the money for themselves. The church is also brainwashing local ogres into having their minions attack small villages. Bitter blacksmiths are tricking their rival’s daughter into paying fake debt. And yet… when Kanata IS on the page, everyone turns into the broadest comedy. The hypercompetent adventurer Melissa turns into the ultimate whiny office lady. The evil Saint causing all this is far more annoyed that Kanata doesn’t even bother to see her as an enemy. And the massive wolf-spirit imprisoned by the Church finds that he can get far more laughs if he’s a cute puffball. The key to Kanata saving the world is not her ludicrous power to do anything, or her vague kindness that mostly revolves around fluff. It’s that she’s funny.

We pick up where we left off, with Kanata and her demon lord turned pussycat companion Zaggy trying to track down more fluff for Kanata to pet. They run into a small dog puffball, who Kanata nicknames Fen-Fen, who is of course the aforementioned Wolf Spirit. He’s spent decades waiting for the Saint that he’s supposed to dedicate himself to, only to be locked up by Marianne, the girl who actually does have the Saint title but has none of the Saint morality. She’s actually being led by the goddess we saw last time, who has one piece of advice for her: if you see Kanata, run away. Sadly, Marianne does not take this advice, and now has to deal with a girl who will get more fluff By Any Means Necessary, even if it means doing endless amounts of tiny, cheap good deeds.

The joke about Kanata, of course, is that she *is* the Saint, but accidentally. She’s not particularly saving lives, helping find lost pets, or taking down the evil church that’s controlling everything because it’s the right thing to do. Indeed, you could argue that she doesn’t notice what she’s doing at all. She does it because it will get her fluff. Hell, the evil Saint, Marianne, is seemingly killed by her patron goddess, only for Kanata to resurrect her… because her hair is a 10 points on the fluffy scale. No other reason. We do occasionally see flashes of her actually comprehending what’s going on… in the side story she clearly sees the cheating going on and decides to help by having Zaggy cheat on the other side… But for the most part, she’s not good or bad. She’s fluff. And since no one in this world knows what that means, it becomes an all-purpose thing to strive for, be it strength, good deeds, whatever. Fluff is what you want it to be.

Of course, Kanata wants it to be fluff she can snuggle. She may have to wait a bit, the third volume is not out in Japan yet. Till then, this is silly but… no, it’s just silly.

By: Sean Gaffney

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

[shayarionhindi]

If you are a fan of sean lock then definitely click on this image and read this small article

Click Here 👇👇👇

#Sean lock #Sean Lock Quotes #Sean Lock Funny Jokes #Sean Lock Died news #Sean Lock news #Sean Lock biography

[panelshowsource]

“Uber-liberal” new dad Jimmy Carr talks his new memoir, fatherhood, and his relationship with long-time friend and collaborator Sean Lock

Carr in real life is a much more empathic figure than the one on stage. One thing not covered in Before & Laughter is his relationship with Sean Lock, a team captain on 8 Out of 10 Cats, whose recent death prompted a huge wave of public affection. “After he died I looked back and went: ‘Hang on – was I in a double act?’” he says today, his eyes welling up. “We did 250 TV shows together and I sort of didn’t notice.” He pauses and smiles: “I mean, I don’t think he’d view me as a comedy partner. He’d say: ‘Get over yourself – I’m much funnier.’”

Carr knew the bad news was coming – Lock had been diagnosed with cancer for some time – but he hadn’t bargained for how hard it would hit him. “I got wiped out. It was the same thing when my mother died and I had to go to bed and sleep for 17 hours.”

When I ask how it felt to be roasted by Lock over the K2 tax scandal (“We all like to put a bit of money away for a rainy day, but I think you’re more prepared than Noah,” joked Lock on the show that followed the revelations), Carr’s voice breaks completely. “When that’s happening to you, you never forget the people who were good to you,” he says. “And he was so good to me. He said: ‘Are you OK? All right, we’ll handle this.’” There’s a little sob, a pause to gather himself. “And then he went out there, was super-funny about it, no judgment.”

#fuck that got me real misty.... #jimmy carr #jimmy and sean #text

[fandomlit]

prize (jacksepticeye x reader x pewdiepie)

requested by anon “can you do jacksepticeye x reader from finland? And felix likes reader becose they are country neighbors”

summary sean decides to bring his finnish friend into a game of among us to meet his other friends. felix takes an immediate liking to this country neighbor. 

warning swearing

gif cred belongs to @painofbeingafinnishfangirl​

the discord dinged and sean immediately shouted, “y/n!”

“ow!” felix--who had just joined the call--yelled back, making their friends laugh.

“damnit.” felix gave his camera an offended looked.

“i didn’t think i was that disappointing, okay,” he joked.

sean laughed, “you’re never disappointing, felix, im just waiting for a friends to join.”

“oh,” felix nodded. “well i hope they’re less disappointing than me, jesus.” everyone cracked up just as the discord call rang again.

“y/n!” jack shouted again.

“jack!” you called back with a following giggle. “how are you!”

“im well!”

“please stop yelling!” pj yelled, making everyone giggle again.

“im excited!” sean yelled.

“me too,” you spoke weakly through your laughter. 

“so sean, who is this?” felix asked curiously.

“oh, im y/n,” you introduced. “or c/n, if you know that better.”

rae gasped. “you’re the finnish singer!”

“i am,” you affirmed with a giggle.

“you’re finnish?” felix questioned.

“yep!”

“im swedish!” he exclaimed excitedly. “we’re neighbors!”

“oh my god, you’re the neighbor’s kid!” 

everyone burst into laughter as felix yelled, “shut up!”

after the game started, felix laughed to himself, “she’s funny.”

..

“can i blame y/n just because she’s finnish?” sean interrupted during a meeting.

your friends laughed as you called out, “rasistinen!”

“what?” he laughed.

“that means racist in finnish, you asswipe,” you spoke loudly into your mic, making everyone laugh harder as you shook your head disappointedly at your screen. “can we vote out the racist?”

“yeah, i got you,” felix said, locking his vote.

“thanks, neighbor!” you spoke cheerily as the real investigation began.

..

“y/n, you know i love you, right?” sean spoke as he caught up to you in weapons.

“is this to make up for the finnish comment?” you giggled.

“it is,” he affirmed with a laugh. “i didn’t mean any harm.”

“sean, my irish sweetheart, i appreciate your kindness from the bottom of my heart,” you assured him. “really, you don’t have to apologize, but i loved that you did, and i accept your apology.” he grinned at his camera. “so, im sorry, too.” and you swiftly killed him, ending the game.

“WHAT?!”

you laughed loudly as your imposter partner, felix, spoke, “nice one!”

“yay neighbors!” you celebrated, clapping on your end as sean began to explode.

“i opened my heart to you!” you burst into laughter. “i was apologizing, thinking maybe i took something too far, and i put it out there, and what did you do?!”

“sean!” you called over his hysteria.

“im not finished!” your friends laughed. “god, i don’t think i can ever love again.”

“so what im hearing is y/n’s single now?” felix questioned. everyone called out in surprise and hysterics as you slapped a hand over your mouth.

“i’ve always been single!” was the only thing you could think to yell as your face flushed.

“that’s a lie!” sean called out.

“sean fucking mcloughlin!”

over everyone’s diminishing laughter, pj wheezed, “im so confused!”

“me too,” you admitted desperately.

“hey felix,” sean called out. “first one to finish their tasks in the next round gets y/n.”

“why am i a prize?” you questioned quietly into your mic.

“poor y/n,” corpse chuckled.

“you’re on,” felix spoke, ignoring you and corpse’s comments.

“this is so fucking stupid,” you spoke, swiping a hand over your face.

“we know that!”

..

when the round finally started, rae immediately went over to you, “y/n, i have a feeling you’re safe this round.” you let out a laugh as she continued, “is it alright if i stick with you?”

“rae, baby, of course,” you giggled. 

“what are they doing?” rae whispered into her mic. you looked to see that sean and felix were still standing by the spawn, just staring down each other’s characters.

“i have no idea,” you admitted. “but i think we should stay and watch.”

“yeah, me too.”

after a solid five seconds of silence, jack’s character surged forward and murdered felix. while you burst into surprised laughter, rae let out a scream and reported the body. but she fell into laughter with you as the meeting assembled.

“what happened?” toast asked. “pewds is dead..?”

“rae and y/n, are you guys okay?” sykkuno asked when he realized it was the two of you who were laughing.

“no!” you exclaimed weakly.

“it was jack!” rae spoke, continuing to throw her head back and laugh after the confession.

“i win,” was all jack offered. as a few others began to chuckle, he continued, “that was my only task.”

#youtubers x reader #youtubers fanfic #pewdiepie x reader #pewdiepie fanfic #jacksepticeye x reader #jacksepticeye fanfic #felix kjellberg x reader #felix kjellberg fanfic #sean mcloughlin x reader #sean mcloughlin fanfic #pewdiepie x reader x jacksepticeye #sean mcloughlin x reader x felix kjellberg

[seanfalco]

Common Stupid Thieves

Sean Falco x Reader // Platonic!Derek & Reader

Prompt: I would like to request a Sean fic where the reader is a fellow criminal who’s in on the valet scam (or another scam of your invention).  I think it would be hot to drive around in fast cars doing mischief with him.  Hehe 😎 💕 Please and thank you!  You’re the best! Requested by: @badsext​ Warning(s): Language, Recreational Drug Use, Criminal activities, Infidelity Word Count: 3.5k

a/n: Aaaaaa, I was so excited when I got this prompt because I’ve been wanting to write something with a fellow criminal reader for a while now, but just didn’t know what I wanted to do, but this gave me the perfect excuse to think about it more.  There will be two parts.

01. |

“Hey dog!” Derek greeted, joining Sean at the valet podium, a wide grin on his face as he sidled up next to his friend.

“Hey, man,” Sean replied, rubbing his hands together against the cold, his breath misting in the brisk night air.  Autumn had already descended on Portland and the nights were swiftly growing colder as the leaves turned colour.

“What?” Sean asked, recognizing the pensive look on his friend’s face as if he had something to say and Derek held his hands up in innocence.

“Nothin’ bro,” he exclaimed, chuckling slightly, but Sean merely arched a thick brow at him until Derek finally cracked.  “Okay, okay.  Actually, I have somethin’ I wanted to run by you.”

“See, I knew it,” Sean laughed, his head falling back in amusement, his gaze taking in the starts overhead for a brief moment before refocusing on his friend and business partner.

“Yeah, yeah, you know me too well,” Derek muttered before jumping into his story.  “Look, I got this friend, okay, and she needs a job…” he began, Sean cutting him off.

“No.  No fuckin’ way.”

“What, no man, c’mon—” Derek argued.

“No, you come on!” We’d have t’start splittin’ th’tips three ways when business is already slow.  Besides, what about our little side venture?  How are we gunna keep that a secret?” he exclaimed, his voice dropping to a rushed whisper.  “How do we know we can trust this person?  I don’t like it, man,” he said, shaking his head.

“Aw no, man, she can be trusted,” Derek insisted, pulling Sean aside, away from the valet stand.  “I’ve known [y/n] since we were kids.  She’s good people and she ain’t no snitch.  She could be a real asset, dog.”

Sean heaved a breath, deliberating.  He trusted Derek, and if Derek trusted this [y/n] enough to vouch for her, then Sean would give her the benefit of the doubt.  He just hoped it wouldn’t bite them in the arse later.

“...Alright,” he sighed, turning his face toward his friend.

“What, really?” Derek asked excitedly, his grin returning, brightening his face.  “Oh man, you are not gunna regret this!  Just think of how many more places we can hit a night with a three man crew!  It’s gunna be great.”

“Yeah, so you keep tellin’ me,” Sean laughed, rolling his eyes as a car pulled up to the curb.

“Hey Sean, can you take this one?  I wanna call [y/n] and tell her the good news,” Derek exclaimed, already pulling his phone from his pocket.

“Yeah, alright,” Sean called over his shoulder.  

“You’re gunna love her, man!”

——

It was your first night valeting at Nino’s, Derek really having come through for you on the job thing, your last one didn’t really pan out, but at least this one seemed like it’d be easy enough, from what he’d told you.

Shoving your hands in your coat pockets against the cold, you approached the valet podium at the curb, your friend nowhere to be seen.  Instead, a tall slender man with a mop of unruly dark curls stood guard out front, shifting from foot to foot as he looked down at his phone, a small smile lingering on his lips.

Sensing your presence, he gave a start, quickly pocketing his phone and flashing you a proper smile.  “Hello, welcome t’Nin-ohh,” he cut off, realizing you weren’t a customer, taking in your identical white dress shirt and green jacket.

“Hey,” you greeted, offering him a sheepish grin.

“You must be [y/n],” he guessed, taking your hand to shake firmly.

“That’s me,” you replied, gripping his hand just as firmly, meeting his moss green eyes.  “And you must be Sean.”

“[y/n]!  Hey, you’re here!” Derek called as he approached, cutting Sean off before he could respond.  “Looks like you two already got acquainted.”

“Yep, we uhm, we met,” you murmured, feeling Sean’s eyes on you as you turned to Derek.

“Awesome,” Derek exclaimed, rubbing his hands together excitedly.  “This is gunna be great!”

It wasn’t long before your first customer drove up and Derek had Sean show you where the valet lot was around the block.

“See?  Easy peasy,” Sean exclaimed as you parked the car.

“Easy peasy,” you agreed, wondering if you should bring up the questions you had about the other part of the job.

“The next local customer we get, we’ll go together and I’ll show you th’ropes,” he said, sensing your unvoiced questions.

“Alright,” you nodded, following suit as he got out of the car.

Walking back to the front of the restaurant, you buzzed with excitement, and instead, a different question sprung to your lips.

“So, how long have you known Derek?”

Sean’s brows furrowed in thought.  “Since my family moved to th’area, about seven years ago.”

“Where were you from originally?” you asked, unable to quite keep your eyes from returning to his distractingly handsome face.

“Originally, Dublin,” he chuckled — that explained the accent — “but when my dad split, my mum and I moved to th’states.  Then when she married my stepdad he decided to move us all across th’country t’start a construction company out here that went belly up in less than a year,” he scoffed, glancing over at you.

“What about you?  How long have you known Derek?” he countered.

“Since middle school,” you answered, grinning as you remembered all the shenanigans the pair of you had gotten into — it seemed you were soon to continue that legacy, though this time you really didn’t wanna get caught.

“There you guys are, took you long enough!” Derek exclaimed.

“Oh ha ha,” you muttered, shoving his shoulder lightly as you joined him behind the valet stand, standing near the tall glass encased heater to banish the chill that had taken hold as you walked back from the parking lot.

“Sean has a girlfriend, by the way, so no funny business, [y/n],” he whispered, noticing the way your gaze kept seeking the handsome Irishman out.

“Yeah, so?” you snorted softly, so Sean wouldn’t overhear, only for Derek to jab you in the ribs with his elbow.

“I mean it, [y/n], don’t meddle,” he hissed, all traces of levity gone from his face.

Rolling your eyes, you huffed an indignant sigh.  “Yeah, yeah.  But if he makes a move on me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist,” you teased, only half serious.  Anyone who turned that down, girlfriend or no, would be a bloody fool.

“Yeah, like that would happen,” Derek snorted and your mouth fell open.

“Gee thanks,” you scoffed indignantly, a little hurt that your friend didn’t think you had a chance.

“[y/n], don’t be like that,” he laughed, nudging you again, this time playfully.  “Riley’s a good girl and Sean’s head over heels for her.”

“Good for her,” you muttered, turning away to check your phone, trying not to sound too jealous.

To pass the time between customers, you recounted stories to Sean of yours and Derek’s teenage years, Derek cutting in every now and then to correct you, or deny his involvement; joking around.  Every time you managed to make Sean laugh, you counted it as a win.

Before long, a flashy SUV pulled up and Sean climbed into the driver’s seat as the couple handed him the keys before heading into the restaurant, leaving their vehicle in your capable hands.  

“Looks like their place is only a couple blocks away,” Sean announced, poking through their built-in GPS and you shared a grin, quickly jumping into the passenger seat.

“We’ll be right back,” he exclaimed, winking at Derek.

“Uh huh, don’t have too much fun now,” Derek teased back, flashing a wide grin at the pair of you.

For a moment, as he accelerated, the motor revving to life, you were reminded of the scene in Ferris Bueller when the two valets flew over the hill in his friend’s dad’s car to the Star Wars theme, taking it for a little joy ride.

“Okay, so, some ground rules so we don’t get caught,” Sean began, pulling you from your thoughts and you turned to give him your full attention.  “One, no stealin’ anything from the vehicles themselves, pretty self explanatory.  They notice anythin’ missin’ from here, it’s the easiest thing t’tie back to us,” he explained.

“Got it.  What’s two?” you asked with a nod.

“Two, we only go t’houses that are in th’neighborhood.  We can’t afford a long drive if we wanna make it back before their meal’s done.  Get in, get out, quickly.”

“Simple enough, you agreed.

“And three,” Sean said as he pulled into the couple’s driveway, using their garage door opener as your way in— “only take things they won’t notice, or at least not right away.”

“Okay, like jewelry, small electronics, cash… gotcha,” you murmured, unbuckling.  “What if they have an alarm system?”

“Then we turn around and go back.  The goal is t’not get caught.  There’ll be other houses, other opportunities.  Don’t get greedy.”

Nodding, you got out and tried the door to the house, finding it unlocked, though you weren’t all that surprised, most people didn’t usually lock the door inside their garage — what’s the point when your garage door’s shut tight?

“I’m in,” you announced as the door swung open, managing to pull an amused snort from your curly haired partner.

“C’mon, let’s see what goodies are waitin’ for us,” he said, bobbing his eyebrows at you before rushing up the stairs ahead of you and into the house.

“Damn, these people are loaded,” you murmured in awe, trailing behind Sean and letting your gaze travel their living room.  The flat screen hanging over the mantle would’ve completely dwarfed your tiny apartment.

“Yeah, most of th’people that come t’Nino’s are,” Sean murmured, setting to work, sweeping the place for valuables.

Sneaking into their bedroom, you hit the jackpot as you threw open the door to their walk in closet. ”What d’you think?” you asked, turning to Sean as you pulled a skimpy black negligee from the rack and held it in front of your body.

For a moment Sean’s mouth worked silently, his face turning pink before your eyes and you couldn’t help the pleased grin that stole across your lips, wondering if he was imagining you in it.

“Lady’s got good taste,” he said, clearing his throat before awkwardly pointing toward the vanity.  “Let’s, uh, look in there,” he suggested and you snorted, hanging the outfit back up and following him over.

“Did I fluster you?” you asked, smirking at him out of the corner of your eye as you picked through the jewelry that looked least worn.

“No,” Sean exclaimed quickly, avoiding your gaze, though it seemed like his face flushed deeper, even in the dim light.  “I’m gunna go check out the bathroom,” he announced suddenly, hurrying off and you fought back a laugh, though you wished he’d flirt back a little.

Getting back to work, you snagged a pair of expensive designer shoes and a large handbag — it would fetch a pretty good price on ebay.  Stuffing the heels and the necklaces into the purse, you met back up with Sean in the kitchen.

“You find anything?” you asked and Sean held up a sliver watch as well as a handful of loose change.  “Pocket change?” you exclaimed, fighting back a laugh.  “And here I thought you were a hardened criminal, Sean Falco.”

Sean rolled his eyes, slipping the change into his pocket.  “I wouldn’t say hardened, I just wanna make things a little easier on my bank account.  Bein’ a starvin’ artist ain’t as glamorous as it seems,” he snorted sarcastically, heading back toward the garage as he checked his phone, Derek texting to let you know you were in the clear yet.

“You’re an artist?” you asked curiously, climbing back into the borrowed SUV and Sean opened the garage door, backing out into the street.

“Photographer,” he clarified, his eyes flicking over to you.

“Really?  What do you take pictures of?”

“Oh, a little bit of everything,” he replied, smiling to himself.  “People, places, anything that catches my eye.  I like things with personality,” he explained.

“I’d love to see your work sometime,” you mused.

“Yeah, course,” Sean exclaimed, clearing his throat quickly and returning his eyes to the road, though you could have sworn a dusting of pink had returned to his cheeks as the light from a streetlamp lit up his face.

“Bet your girlfriend likes being your model,” you ventured quietly after a long moment, wanting to see how he reacted.

“No, actually—” Sean began before frowning.  “How did you know I have a girlfriend?”

“Derek told me.”

“Oh, right,” he said, shaking his head slightly, his lips twitching downward.

“What does she do?” you asked, unable to curb your curiosity.

“She’s a business major.”

“Ah,” you replied shortly and Sean glanced at you curiously.

“What’s that s’posed t’mean?” he asked, amusement tinging his voice.

“Nothin’,” you teased, grinning over at him.  “Just sounds boring to me,” you answered honestly.  How much do you even have in common? you wondered, not voicing that query.

“Honestly… kinda,” Sean chuckled, rolling his shoulders.

“Doesn’t she know about… this?” you asked hesitantly, gesturing to the stolen items at your feet.

“This?” Sean yelped incredulously, turning back into the valet lot.  “No, she doesn’t know about this,” he answered tensely.

“So… what now?” you asked, sensing Sean’s discomfort at your question and quickly changing the subject.

“Now… now we stow the stuff in our cars and go meet back up with Derek.”

“So, how did baby’s first run go?” your friend asked cheekily when you returned, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in his excitement, wearing a shit eating grin as he dodged your punch aimed at his bicep.

“She did good,” Sean answered before you could, and the compliment took you by surprise, filling your face with warmth.

“See, what I tell you?” Derek exclaimed.

——

Before you knew it a couple months had flown by and you were making runs by yourself now; you, Sean, and Derek doing fairly well for yourselves with your little side business.  Sure, there were nights when you came back nearly empty handed, but it beat not working at all, and the money from the valet stand was enough to get by on.  Besides, the best part was getting to hang out with your friends every night.  During that time, you’d grown rather close to Sean, the two of you beginning to spend more time together outside of work.

“You really need to find a new place,” you laughed as you plopped down at one of the plastic chairs flanking Sean’s tiny table.

“Wha—?  What’s wrong with it?” Sean exclaimed, feigning offense as he took the chair across from you and passing you the lit joint between his fingers, his lips twitching into a bemused grin as he watched you.

“What’s wrong with it?” you cried, teasingly, gesturing with your arm toward the wall nearest you.  “There’s fuckin’ holes in your walls!”

“Hey, I patched… most of ‘em!” he countered.  “You’ve gotta admit, it’s got character!”

“Is that what you call it?” you cackled, breaking into laughter as you waved the smoke from your face.  “I suppose it does suit your starving artist aesthetic,” you teased, glancing at him coyly, feeling your cheeks warm as he shared your grin, his long fingers brushing yours as he stole the joint back.

Unable to look away as he brought the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply, your thoughts spiraled, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him as silence fell over the cramped flat.

“So… I have somethin’ I need to confess,” Sean spoke up, jolting you from your thoughts and you quickly tore your eyes from his mouth.  “I was a little worried when Derek suggested bringin’ you onto th’team,” he admitted, not quite meeting your eyes.  “But honestly, it’s been one of th’best things we’ve done,” he said, flicking the line of ash from the end of the dwindling joint.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, arching a curious brow at him.  “Why were you worried?  Thought I’d be a liability?” you half teased.

“Yeah, kinda,” Sean answered sheepishly, causing you to snort, laughter bubbling from your lips to lighten the room.  

“Can’t say I blame you,” you admitted, taking another hit as he offered it to you.  “Did Derek ever tell you why he trusts me so much?” you asked, glancing over to catch Sean’s eye.

“He didn’t, but I figured there had t’be a reason for his unwavering confidence though,” he said, his words making you smile.

“When we were in middle school,” you begin, settling in to recount your story, leaning back against the wall behind you.  “Derek and I weren’t bad kids, per se, I mean, not like his brothers, but we did get into trouble from time to time.  There was one day, we were graffiting the side of a rail car down by the tracks, y’know, just a little harmless vandalism,” you said, your lips curling wryly.  

“Well, apparently there was a cop nearby and he caught sight of us.  So we threw our spray cans down and made a break for it.  We probably would’ve gotten away but I tripped over one of the tracks, and busted my knee open,” you explained, shaking your head.  “I told Derek to go on without me cause we had some stolen shit in our pockets from earlier and I didn’t want him t’get in trouble for it too.”

“What happened?” Sean asked.

“He didn’t like it, but Derek took off like I told him to and I let the cop catch up to me so he’d have a chance to get away.”

“But he’d seen Derek?”

“Yeah, from a distance, but I just kept denying there was anyone else with me, so there wasn’t really anything they could do about it,” you shrugged.

“You took th’fall and kept him outta juvie?”

“Mhmm.”

“No wonder Derek trusts you,” he murmured, awe in his voice.

“I don’t rat on my friends,” you said simply, crushing the rest of the blunt out in the ashtray between you.

Sean nodded before you heard his stomach growl loudly.  “Oh shit, I’m starvin’,” he groaned, holding his belly as you descended into laughter, holding your own gut.  “You want somethin’?  I think I have some frozen chicken strips or somethin’ in here,” he mused, getting up to check the icebox.

Following him over to the tiny kitchen, you peered in the freezer with him.  “Chicken strips sound bomb.”

“Grand,” Sean chuckled, pulling the bag out and dumping the contents onto an oven sheet while you turned on the oven and leaned against the counter next to him.

“So… where’s Riley?” you asked, reluctant to bring her up, but it hadn’t escaped your attention that she hadn’t been around much lately.

“Oh, she’s busy with classwork,” he replied, turning to lean against the counter next to you.  “I think she has some big midterm project she’s workin’ on.  Why?”

“I just thought it was weird you hadn’t been hanging out much,” you explained, carefully, realizing how close you were.  “But I’m not complainin’,” you murmured, your hand inching closer to touch his.  “I like spending time with you…”

“I like spendin’ time with you too, [y/n],” Sean mused, slowly leaning closer, as if a spell had fallen over the pair of you, til his breath fanned across your lips moments before they pressed chastely to yours.

Not fighting it, you tangled your fingers in his jumper, pulling him closer as you kissed him back and to your delight his lips moved against yours with a soft moan and you felt the edge of the counter bite into your back.  It was as if all the tension between you had finally come to a head—every coy little glance and furtive touch, all the inside jokes and nights spent texting late into the morning hours were finally leading where you’d hoped.

Moaning in turn as your tongue sought his, Sean suddenly tensed, the bubble bursting as he pulled away.  “What are we doin’?” he exclaimed breathlessly, running his hands through his hair.  “I can’t do this—“

“Why not?” you asked desperately, though you already knew the answer.  “Sean, I-I really like you, and I think you feel the same way, that kiss obviously proved that—“

“I—” Sean hesitated, his face clearly conflicted. “—but Riley,” he exclaimed, shaking his head, his curls shivering.  “I love her, I can’t do this t’her.”

“You can’t even be honest with her!” you cried, the words bursting from you, unable to hold them back any longer.  “You’re afraid to tell her about what you do because you know she’d judge you for it!”

For a moment Sean blinked at you, his mouth hanging open as if unable to come up with an argument.  “You… you don’t know anything about it,” he snapped finally, setting his face.  “I think you should probably leave, [y/n].”

His words felt like a slap to the face and you staggered backward.  “Y-yeah… I’ll—” The hushed words died on your tongue and you stumbled toward the door, looking back at him as you stepped out into the blinding daylight outside.  Sean wouldn’t even look at you.

Had you just fucked up beyond repair?

------------------

Tag List: @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @santacarlahorrorshow​ @messengeronthemoon​ @the-freckled-luba​ @firstpersonnarrator​ @phoenixhits​ @super-unpredictable98​ @spanishmossmagnolia​ @salvador-daley​ @forenschik​ @a-ghoulish-tale​ @love-is-dirty-baby​ @vonkimmeren​ @darkheartbrightsmile @violetrainbow412-blog​ @bellelittleoff​ @simsiddy​ @duck-noises​

#sean falco #sean falco x reader #bad samaritan #bad samaritan fic #derek sandoval #robert sheehan character fic #robert sheehan #my writing #prompt request #badsext

[kate837]

I Love You

I completely recommend watching 2x14 Borrow or Rob, and the beginning of 2x15 Draw O Cesar Erase a Coward, before reading this fic. While this fic is AU it does have many similarities and minor details that it couldn't hurt to watch the episode first! Anyways enjoy!!!!!

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Kurt had a day.

Not bad. Definitely not good. Just... A day.

A day he'll never forget actually. It was so full of ups and downs. From Shepherd plunging a knife into Sean's heart, to joking with Jane about whether or not he could handle Rich Dotcom. From shooting Rich to... Jane's date. That hurt. When Shepherd shoved a knife through Sean Clarke, Kurt's adrenaline spiked, he felt so alert for so long, he thought he would throw up. He got the same feeling from Jane. Except it was everytime she moved, spoke, brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, etc. Her admission of her date was too much. Kurt went straight home, got a damp rag, and laid down. Staring at the ceiling.

Though he did have to say, it still wasn't the worst part of his day. He felt bad. Witnessing first degree murder should automatically be the worst part of your day.

But when it comes to Rich.....

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Kurt and Rich were sneaking through the secret underground tunnels of Jamison College, in order to get into the Deadalus gathering.

"This is interesting." Rich says, while coming to a stop.

"What?" Kurt replies shortly.

"Well this is the door, but the handle's different."

"Different how, Rich?!"

"Wel- well it's not there anymore?? Probably on account of all the hookers I snuck in it." Rich gestures to the handless door.

"Ok, so what's behind this door?" Kurt inquires, looking around.

"The closet. What are yo-"

"Stand back."

Kurt, with a running start, kicks the door in to find himself deep within the walls of a massive walk in closet.

"Aaaaa just how I remember it."

"SHHHHH!" Kurt puts his ear to the door, the one still on it's hinges, just in time to hear the gasps of attending guests and a soft female voice hushedly asking someone to notify security of the discrepancy.

"Shit."

"What?" Rich asks, genuinely confused.

"The guests are getting security to come check out 'the noise in the closet'."

"Oh. What are we gonna do Stubbles? I'm a sly guy but how do we explain that?"

"Oh God, why do you hate me?" Kurt says looking towards the ceiling.

"What? You're acting strange Stubbles, like weirder than normal. I mea-"

Rich was cut off by Kurt's large hands cupping both sides of his face, to kiss him. Without separating he backs Rich against a near wall, mimicking the earlier noise. Rich squirmed at first but expectedly went along with the unexpected.

"Come on Stubbles, you can at least use some tongue!"

"Shut. Up." Kurt snarls. "Actually. . . I need you to make some. . . noises." Kurt says while blushing furiously.

"Security is on their way." Tasha notifies through comms.

"Yeah you guys better get out of there." Reade warns.

"And say what? Oh hey haven't seen you in a while, please excuse my entering through a closet?!" Rich whisper-yells.

"Everyone shut up!" Kurt also whisper yells. "Now Rich I need you to moan a lot. Loudly."

"You could always make me Stubbles!"

"Rich!"

"Kurt what the hell are you doing?" Reade asks, growing increasingly concerned about his teammate's mental health.

"Rich just do it!"

"OOOOH! STUBBLES, YES!" Rich practically screams.

The party guests turn a side eye. But the security, like Kurt hoped, were turning away, figuring that the noise came from two enthusiastic partygoers. Or if the other patrons were anything like Rich maybe more.

Of course Weller didn't know that yet.

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"Ohhh. Now i get it, I can't believe this is working." Reade says, half laughing at the ridiculous noises coming out of his earpiece. "Hey Kurt it's work-"

"Will you shut up?!" Tasha butts in.

"What are you tal-"

"He doesn't know that they stood down yet." Tasha says wriggling her eyebrows. "Hey Kurt most of the security guards stood down but you still have a couple incoming. . . You might need to amp it up a bit!"

Her and Reade try and fail to stifle their laughter after Rich let's out a completely overexaggerated 'UNGH'!

"Come on Stubbles, they're not buying it, you're gonna have to join me if you wanna get out of here."

"Why me? God why me?" Kurt says again looking up.

Kurt let's out a loud and breathless 'Oh God' that completely undoes all of Tasha and Reade's composure. They are hysterical by now. They completely lost it when Rich and Kurt started harmonizing!

"Stop! Stop!" Tasha said. "I can't take it anymore." She pulls herself up from the floor of the van, where she fell from laughing so hard.

"Yeah guys, the security's gone. They're long gone." Reade adds, clutching his stomach.

"Yeah Rich so goo- wait what?!"

"Yeah you're clear." Tasha clarifies.

"You could have compromised this entire op!" Kurt says furiously.

"We all know that's not why you're mad Stubbles. And as the bible states-"

"I swear to God Rich, if you say another word I will shoot you."

"Another word."

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Kurt flushed red just thinking about it. What was he going to put in his field report?!

He turned to lay on his side to take in the fresh scenery of the wall instead of the ceiling. After laying there for about two minutes, he finally got up to fix himself dinner.

While gathering ingredients, Kurt's mind inevitably wandered back to Jane's date. Everything about it tore at him. What she'd be wearing, what she'd eat, would she cover her tattoos, would she wear makeup. . . . . . . .

His thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.

It was Jane.

A million questions ran through his head. Why is she calling him? Shouldn't she still be out on her date?

He lunged for the phone but then. . . He stilled. Didn't move a muscle. He picked up his phone, turned it over, and resumed gathering ingredients.

Once the phone eventually stopped buzzing, Kurt's inner turmoil came to play.

'Why didn't you answer?! Jane could be in trouble!'

'Be rational Kurt. She's on a date, probably just calling to let you know that she'll complete her paperwork tomorrow, since she's busy.'

'Look, everyone knows you're in love with her, but you can't act like some overprotective boyfriend whenever she's around.'

Kurt shakes his head. He wasn't in love with Jane Doe. Was he?

'Of course you are! That's why you lunged for the phone as soon as you saw her name, but put it down when you realized she was still on a date.'

'No. If I was in love with her, I would have immediately answered.'

'No. You love her so much that you realized that if she's having fun, even with another man, you wouldn't want to ruin that. That's love.'

'What am I supposed to do? I can't love her from afar.'

'This may be selfish but what if I proposed the idea that Oliver is Sandstorm?'

'It could work. But why not just tell her how you feel?'

"Because I'm just not ready yet." Kurt voiced sadly.

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First thing the next morning, Kurt was walking up and down the hallways, over and over again. In order to 'accidentally' bump into Jane on her way to Patterson's lab.

After three consecutive minutes, Jane appeared. She was wearing this loose, pastel green shirt, that roughly covered all of her upper body tattoos as well as bringing out her eyes. She paired it with tight blue jeans, which she almost never wears, and a few silver rings on her right hand.

"Wow." Kurt whispered. What looked like any other outfit, looked stunning on her. He almost forgot to 'bump' into her.

"Jane!"

"Oh, hey!"

"You get Patterson's text yet?"

"Yeah, heading there now."

They walk in silence for a few heartbeats, until they turn into a secluded hallway.

"Jane wait." Kurt says while gently grabbing Jane's arm.

"Kurt, what is it?"

"After you told me last night, about your date. I started thinking. . ."

Jane subconsciously starts to hold her breath. Her expression wreaks of hope.

"Hey! Glad I found you two, Patterson's got something." Tasha pops in.

"Yeah." Kurt says releasing Jane.

Saved by the bell.

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The debrief, while no longer than usual, felt unbearably long. The charged energy from Kurt and Jane's previous conversation still radiated off of them.

While any hope of continuing it was completely shut down by the tattoo clues pointing to three different entities, causing the team to split up completely. Kurt with Roman, Jane with Tasha, and Patterson with Reade.

This was going to be a longgg day.

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The team finally reconvened at about 5pm. They had just finished the field reports. All three of them. It was exhausting.

Fortunately for Kurt his adrenaline spiked right back up about an hour later when Tasha, so graciously, reminded the group that they never filled out the field report for their Deadalus mission. Which caused Reade and Patterson to burst out into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Jane asked, looking to Kurt, smiling.

Kurt goes wide-eyed. She doesn't know.

This was going to be a long night.

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The team had just finished catching Jane up while writing the 'going to be extremely redacted' field report.

"Wait I'm still confused. If you just wanted Rich to moan, why did you kiss him?"

All eyes look to Kurt.

"We- well I was under the impression that security was going to be charging through the door at any second." He says glaring at the pair of agents who were strategically avoiding his gaze. "And when they did, if they saw us. . . you know-"

"We don't know, Weller!" Patterson howled.

Kurt glared.

"Yeah I kind of want to know how far you were willing to take it Assistant Director!" Reade joined in.

"We're done here." Kurt said as he walked out.

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Jane had just walked out of the locker room to be met head on with Kurt.

"Kurt, hey!" Jane says, surprised.

"Hey."

"Umm. . . I actually wanted to talk to you."

Kurt raises his eyebrows in obvious confusion, cueing Jane to continue.

"When we were. . . Uh you know- outside of P- Patterson's lab. You didn't finish." Jane stumbles through her words as a new wave of nervousness hits her with full force.

"Oh that." Kurt says, grabbing Jane's arm, mirroring his earlier gesture and leading her away from the locker room door.

"Jane, I was up all night and I couldn't stop thinking about it. We need to be careful. Sandstorm feels like it's everywhere."

"You think Oliver is Sandstorm?"

"Yes. . . No." Kurt shakes his head.

"Kurt you're not making any sense." Jane says studying him.

"I know. I know. I just- no I don't think he's Sandstorm."

"Then why did you-"

"I've been trying to come up with reasons of why you shouldn't date him for the better part of 13 hours."

"Kurt wha-"

"And I got nothing, because the only reason is that I love you."

Jane goes wide-eyed. It was as if all the air was sucked out of her.

"I love you Jane."

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#part two? #ILY #ily #I Love You #im back #blindspot au fics

[wifeyivey]

Okay, this is new. Got done watching LIS2 after a dude i liked said he was playing it, thought i fell for the guy playing it but I FELL FOR SEAN :-:

Taking requests!!

Warnings: NSFW, SWEARING, FLUFF & AU because i don’t wanna cry :-:

DISCLAIMER: This is and AU where Sean is 18 and of age!

It was a cold-ish evening after Sean came back after his track practice. This Halloween party is going to be sick!!

Lyla already wrote the list on Sean’s hand, he’s out talking to Esteban and Sean just snitched. ugh, Sean always tells the truth but, I suppose that’s just as good too. Esteban actually lent him more!! We could get an ounce, maybe even a zip if we’re sweet enough.

Daniel and I are making Zombie blood!! it’s so fun hanging out with Daniel. I even play with his Power Bear collection.

“Y/n!! I finished it!! Let’s go test it out!!”

“Nice!! I’ll go change my shirt first, I’m gonna grab your brother’s shirt” I smirk, knowing he won’t get mad at me.

“Haha! Yeah let’s do this!!”, Daniel runs outside to spray some trees while he waits.

Sean’s still looking for chips, so I sneak into his closet and put on his shirt. I’m pretty sure his NYC/UK shirt isn’t that bad to wear out. I close the door and change my shirt.

“Yo, Y/n.” The door opens, revealing Sean’s figure at the crack of the door.

“Sean!! Uhm hey!! I need a minute okay?”

“Are you okay?” Oh god. He thinks I’m crying? Dumbass. Cute, but a dumbass sometimes.

The door creaks open more, I turn around and try to play it off.

“Ta Daaa!! I’m gonna be YOU for halloween. All I need is a pair of your sweatpants and I’ll have the scariest costume at the party.”

“Ha, Ha. Very funny.” He walks towards one of his drawers and throws a pair of sweatpants to me.

“Y/n why are you taking so long? I gotta test the zombie blood!” Oh shit. Daniel! Sean looks at me with a smug grin, as if he’d found out a funny secret about me.

“You’re so busted little dude, so are you Daniel. Dad told you to do it in the backyard, not the front. That asshole might try to pick on you.” Sean scolds Daniel, but Daniel claps back at him.

“You’re not the boss of me, loser. I’m going to my room anyways to get your ugly face out of my sight.” Daniel storms to his room and closes the door, strangely it seemed to shut itself.

I cross my arms and tck at Sean. “You’re bossy dude.”

He looks at me and comes closer, “What are you gonna do about it anyways, loser?” I gasp at him, He called me a loser! Haha, what a shithead.

“Dad left to get some more Choc-o-Crisps, so we’re going to the party before he gets back. Sorry you missed him.” I make a dramatic frowny face as I step closer to him. “H-Hey it’s okay haha”

“You’re really cute in my clothes though.” He scans my body up and down, My face feels heated so I push his shoulder and look to the floor. “Stop being weird.”

“What? I can’t compliment you?” He teases, still looking at me. I look up and find him almost as red as me. We move closer to eachother, until I feel his breath on my neck. I almost didn’t notice his hand on my waist, but he moves it off quickly.

“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ He she’s away from me, typical. I want to make the move. I know we’re both, inexperienced.. but I think it’s worth a shot. I do like him.

“It’s okay, uhm.. do it again.” His eyes lock on me, as if he wouldn’t believe it.

“Oh my gosh a girl likes meeee?” I mimick, moving towards him more

He looks almost embarrassed. “S-Shut up Y/n.”

I scoff, looking at him more intensely. “You know I’m joking! Come here already.”

He grabs my hand and pulls me into his arms, so cozy. “You’re so beautiful, Y/n. I like when you wear my shirt.” He looks at me, with some glimmer in his eye(s). He holds my chin and lifts my head up, and locks lips with mine.

His lips are so soft, and his little mustache feels oddly comforting, grazing against my face. I rest my arms on his shoulders, crossing them to push him closer to me.

He leads me to his bed, as I lay down, his hands wander around my body. They’re cold, but it’s nice. My hands caress his torso and I pull away to look at him, nodding to give permission to do what he imagines.

As soon as I nodded, he became more confident and lifted my legs so he’s in between them. His cold hands move under my shirt to my waist, and embraces it as he moves me under him.

His face stares back at mine as I look up, already quite red. “Y/n, I’ve never..”

“Neither have I, Sean. It’s okay.”

He kisses me more, until it turns into making out. His lips make their way down to my neck. He softly bites my neck, making sure not to leave hickeys or to hurt me, then slowly moves down towards my collarbone, then to my breasts.

He looks to me, and I nod. “Let me hear you.” I immediately feel my face burn up more than before. “Hm?”

Sean repeats. “Say it, Say yes”

“Y-Yes” I breathe, looking into his lustful eye(s).

My breath becomes more hot and quietly quivers as his hands make their way up, he kisses me and then he puts his head under my shirt.

It feels so good. “A-ah” My legs shift up and lock him in place, closer to me. He stops, and I hear him shush me, with his breath tickling my skin. I purse my lips and remove my top to reveal his messy hair and beautiful face.

He focuses back to my breasts and caress my nipple with his lips, softly placing me into his mouth.

It’s so hard to stay quiet, but I don’t want anybody to hear me. I shift my body towards his lips, asking for more. He circles his tounge around, and suctions his lips and pulls away, kissing his way to my other breast.

I stop him, and kiss him to bring him up. “I’m ready”, I breathe.

His hands play with my waistband, My hormones are crazy right now. He’s toying with me. My sweatpants strings start to pull, and the closer he gets to me I feel a heat between my legs. I try not to make noise.

“Goddamn baby” He slurs out, almost unable to speak from the things he’s doing to me, “S-sorry. It kinda slipped out”

I giggle, “It’s okay. Keep doing it”

His hands continue to pull at my sweatpants, he pulls away and removes his shirt. He’s got a tan from his track runs.

I untie my sweatpants and drop them beside the bed, his eye(s) look so hot when he’s on top of me, so does the rest of him.

Brrring, Brrring, Brr-

“Shit! Lyla is calling me!” he jumps up and throws his shirt on, signaling I should probably do the same.

I moved to a corner of the room the camera won’t show, and hurry to get dressed. Just in time.

Daniel runs in. “It’s Lyla right?? Can I talk too?”

“Of course Enano Come in”

“You’re being nice now huh? thanks!!”

I smile, waking into the kitchen to find a Choc-o-Crisp on the counter.

Best Halloween Ever.

#sean diaz #LIS2 #Life is Strange 2 #lis x reader #Diaz x Reader #lis2 au #sean diaz x reader #sean diaz x reader smut

[charlessmithhasmyheart]

Bills’ S/O Wearing His Clothes

Hey Hey! This is for @a-vast-african-plain​ who requested something to be written about Bill’s s/o wearing his clothes around camp. I accidentally deleted the request somehow??? But I had drafts saved so I was able to remember what it was! I know it’s not a story per-say, more of a jumble of head-canon type things...

I hope you enjoy it! :)

Bill is an angry person; there is literally no denying that. More often than not he’s sulking in a corner or muttering under his breathe about some inconvenience or another.

As his s/o, this was something you had to get used to.

Bill was hot-headed; he was also brash, rude, and practically a   drunkard. But he was also sweet, caring, and sensitive when you really   got to know him, and that’s what changed your outlook on the outlaw. 

It was odd, the two of you. You never expected to develop any sort of  relationship with the gunslinger. At least, not a relationship that didn’t involve a a strong dislike for the other. One of the first encounters with the ex-soldier was a screaming match that lasted for nearly twenty minutes before Hosea stepped in and insisted with a stern glare that the two of you took time to cool off.

After that, everything was kind of a blur. One minute you hated each other and the next, you could barely keep your hands off each other. To say it had been amusing for the rest of the gang was an understatement.

The day you decided to wear his clothes was some-what of a downer.

The day was overcast, the weak sun and the gray, billowing clouds   adding to the overall gloomy feeling surrounding the camp. Dutch and the  rest of the boys were off scouting and making plans to rob a stage   coach with government payroll supposedly making its’ way through The   Heartlands. Whether it ended up coming to fruition depended on their   ability to work together, but the likely-hood of that happening was slim.

Dutch was the first to enter camp, his white Arabian snorting and stamping the ground as he camp to a swift halt. Hosea and Arthur followed close behind. The rest trotted in a few moments later. There was no missing the looks of utter disappointment and barely contained rage, Bill’s most of all; his face twisted up and redder than ever. Something must of gone wrong. 

“Bill,” You called, waving you hand briefly to pull his attention as the group dispersed. “What happened out there?”

The large outlaw had swung off his horse and landed with a grunt. His eyes barely locked with yours before he started to lead Brown Jack to the hitching post.

This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.

Whenever Bill was overwhelmed with heavy emotion he became silent, stewing in his misery and discontent. It was during those times that it was best to just let him be.

Normally, you would wait for him to calm down before you would approach; a funny story to distract him at the ready or potentially a long hug, but for some reason, it didn’t do the trick. So you resorted to desperate measures: wearing his clothes.

When you step out of your shared tent donning one of his jackets and his second favorite hat, he barely registers. He only notices when Sean cracks a joke from across the campsite.

At first, it annoys him. He normally doesn’t like people touching his stuff without his permission. Even when it comes to you. But after you sidle up to him, a very common Bill-like expression etched on your face and nothing but amusement in your eyes, his anger begins to fade.

“What ‘re ya doin’ wearin’ my clothes, [Y/N]?”

“I don’t know Bill, but maybe you’d like to see what’s under the clothes hmm?”

It’s safe to say that Bill comes to find he does, in fact, like it when you wear his clothes.

#Bill Williamson #Bill Williamson x Reader #Imagines #Writing #rdr #rdr2 #Red Dead Redemption #Red Dead Redemption 2

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So, I’ve decided to change up this blog’s theme a bit. I haven’t changed anything since I first created it, almost exactly three years ago – I believe this blog’s was born on August 11, 2020. At that point, I’d watched all of a few major panel shows and sitcoms, was in the process of watching more, and had my initial list of other stuff I wanted to see. And was running out people in real life who would speak to me because I kept telling them about British people they did not care about, so I figured I had to start putting some of it on the internet.

 I went to Tumblr because it’s the only social media site on the internet that isn’t bullshit. Reddit – does what it does well, parts of it are good for specific discussions, but it doesn’t let you set up an account and just post whatever you want, you have to find the correct subreddit. Twitter – can you imagine me in 240 characters, or whatever it is now? Facebook – I already had an account there, everyone I know in real life is on there, they were spamming it at the time with conspiracy theories because I was quickly learning that it turns out everyone I had chosen to surround myself with in life is terrible! Every social media site besides those ones – that’s where the influencers live, isn’t it? I don’t want to go where the influencers live.

So I created a Tumblr account. Tumblr asked me a few questions of the bat, and I thought about them for around one minute each – enough so each answer would mean something, but I was mostly just going with my initial instincts.

It asked me what I wanted my cover photo to be, and I went with my favourite season of my favourite panel show - simple.

It asked me for a profile picture, and I thought, what do I want to represent me? What part of Britcom, for this Britcom blog, captures the essence of how I’d like to be seen? And then I thought: Jo Brand. But not just any Jo Brand. Those pictures of Jo Brand that the Daily Mail and similar publications used when they were trying to smear her after she made that Nigel Farage milkshake joke in 2019. I want people to look at the internet representation of me, and see the version of Jo Brand from those papers, where they thought she looked bad and threatening and she had a cup in her hand as though she’d just poured her drink on a racist and was wishing she had something stronger. That’s what I want to be.

It asked me for a username, and this wasn't even an RIP tribute thing, because Sean Lock was still alive then. I just thought about what was a Britcom panel show moment funny enough to seem worth using as a name, and the first thing I’d thought of was Sean Lock on 8 Out of 10 Cats saying he wants to tell the meerkats it’s fine. So that’s what I am now. And that one I won’t change – I like that name, and I have to have some consistency, I think of this as my “Tell the Meerkats it’s Fine” blog, so if I changed it then it would become a completely different blog, and I don’t want that.

It asked me for a blog title, and I immediately thought of James Acaster’s comment on one of my favourite episodes of Catsdown. Possibly my very favourite episode, actually. I thought it was funny, and fitting, for a blog where I’ll be writing about people who can be called legends, in various ways and with varying degrees of irony. I don't see that one changing any time soon either, because it fits perfectly.

So the names remain, but I’ve decide it’s time for new pictures. It’s been a while. The focus of this blog has changed a bit. It’s still a Britcom blog, and Taskmaster season 4 is still my favourite season of my favourite panel show, and I still have great respect for the version of Jo Brand that the Daily Mail tried to smear because she made a joke about wanting to maim a racist. But in the last year, I’ve found myself more into stand-up and podcasts than panel shows and sitcoms, which is where this blog started.

(Also I chose those pictures before I read some of the stuff Jo Brand has said about TERFs – not that she is one, if she were a TERF I would not have kept my profile picture after learning that, she’s just sounded slightly more “well, we should listen to both sides” about the issue than I’d like, ideally, in a person whom I designate as the face that will represent me on the internet. Also I chose those pictures before learning that Noel Fielding might have slept with a teenager quite a few years ago, but not enough years ago so that he was also a teenager, and it’s entirely possible that the tabloids made all that up, I hope they made it all up, the point is that the hilarious panel show things I liked don’t seem quite as perfectly clean as they did a few years ago.)

So, I have updated my blog to reflect changing times, in my comedy-related interests. And I realize this is quite a change, because I’ve had multiple people tell me over the last few years that they picture me as looking like Jo Brand, because Jo Brand is the avatar next to all my posts. I do enjoy that, and I apologize to all those people who think I am Jo Brand that you are now going to have to adjust to seeing something else when you look at my blog.

I asked myself, who would I choose now, out of all the people in comedy, to represent me? Not someone I think I actually am like – I would never be arrogant enough to make such a claim. But someone who represents enough of the things I think are perfect so I would want them to be my face on the internet, feel no hesitation about having their face on all my posts? And there was no question, really.

If anyone reading this blog must have an image of me in their heads, I would like that image to be Josie Long, wearing a feminist t-shirt (it says “No More Page Three” on it), at The Stand comedy club in Edinburgh, doing some of her early pro-socialism material for a Stewart Lee TV show in 2013. I can't think of much that's better than that.

I also thought about a new cover image – what is the most significant Britcom thing to me these days, for this Britcom blog? Of course there are many things, that are central to my current interests, and it’s hard to find just one image that summarizes enough of them. But I know what comes the closest to that.

Five comedians on stage: Daniel Kitson, Adam Hills, David O’Doherty, Demetri Martin, John Oliver. I have seen/heard all stand-up comedy DVDs/CDs/any other official releases by all of those people, as well as quite a few things that were not officially released. Heard a few hundred hours of John Oliver on the original run of The Bugle, and that’s a huge thing that’s shaped my current comedy interests. I’ve become rather disillusioned with Adam Hills lately, but I did watch several hundred episodes of The Last Leg, and it had some very good stuff in its glory days. All five of David O’Doherty’s albums are saved on my phone, because I’ve heard them all all the way through before but I enjoy going back and jumping around and re-listening to them. Demetri Martin’s out there giving me one comedian I can reference to my North American friends, and they’ll have heard of him (I mean, John Oliver too, but my favourite John Oliver things are British or at least Transatlantic things that people don’t know here, while if I talk about the Demetri Martin things I like, I’m talking about the same stand-up recordings people here know). And Daniel Kitson took over my life some time ago and that has not come close to abating.

We’re coming up on the twenty-year anniversary of this, by the way. It happened on August 26, 2003 (if you want some useless information that lives in my brain, that was also Nish Kumar’s eighteenth birthday). I should have some sort of party for the twenty-year mark. I’ll rip some stuffed cows in half and sing some Eminem songs wrong.

I’ve come to refer to this incident as Cowgate, which I thought was a clever name. Employs the common thing where you use the suffix “-gate” to mean “scandal”, because I don’t know what the fuck was going on there but I don’t think it was right with God. Also, it took place in the recently rebuilt Gilded Balloon, after the original Gilded Balloon burned down, because it was in the Cowgate neighbourhood of Edinburgh, and there was a fire in Cowgate.

Someone who knows I'm sufficiently interested in that video to have created my own nickname for it, but for some reason still speaks to me anyway, very helpfully took a picture for me at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe, of a sign in the Cowgate neighbourhood. I’d been thinking of updating my blog’s pictures anyway, and this seemed like the perfect time to do it. Take a screenshot of that video and label it with the picture of the Cowgate sign–combining pictures from two different Edinburgh Festivals, twenty years apart – and there you go, that’s the comedy I like. It’s Kitson. It’s O’Doherty. It’s Oliver when he was British. It’s Hills before he was tight with the monarchy. It’s Chocolate Milk Gang. It’s cool yet inexplicable shit from old Edinburgh Festivals. It’s 00s-era comedy history. It’s a collection of things that followed from so much earlier stuff that I respect, and paved the way for so much later stuff that I respect. It’s been keeping me awake at night for like a year now with questions about the fuck they were doing. It’s all the comedy things I’m most interested in these days.

Apologies for the shit image quality, but it really is the best I could do. The original video is in much worse quality than this. I put some time into catching a screenshot at the exact moment when the spotlight shone in the right place, so you could see what was happening a little bit. I then ran it through two different image enhancers to get it as clear as this. So that's as good as it's getting.

For anyone who for some reason can't recognize these comedians in dim light and terrible image quality with faces out of sight and it was twenty years ago - that's Adam Hills holding the mic and rapping at them. John Oliver in red, wielding a pipe like a video game character. David O'Doherty in green, appearing to recoil in fear of John Oliver's power. Kitson with no fear of John Oliver or his weapon or the cow, jumping in there next to Adam Hills. And Demitri Martin in white, looking like a mechanic working on a car for most of this video.

[matthewbernard]

RIP Sean Lock

Something that you might not know about me is that I love British panel shows. At this point, my YouTube feed is at least ¼ clips and episodes of British panels shows. This morning there was a collection of Sean Lock clips posted by Channel 4 (found here), and at the end, a caption of memorium for him. I audibly gasped as I sat by myself in my room, staring at the telly (as the Brits would call it.) “That can’t be right,” I said.

I hoped that it was a bit, one cooked up by his friends and fellow comedians/panelists. A sick joke, mind you, but my denial was searching for a better explanation than the truth, which was revealed after a quick Google search: Sean had passed away a few days ago after a short struggle with lung cancer.

My first exposure to British panel shows was a clip I came across of Joe Wilkinson reciting a poem he wrote entitled, “Hanging about in a Train Station Toilet Naming People's Penises.” If you want, you can watch it here, it starts about a minute and a half in. If you do watch it, one of the things I want you to notice is how hard everyone else is laughing. This is what drew me to want to find out more about the show this clip was from. What sort of show could have a room full of comedians, people who study humor and are often difficult to make laugh, laughing so hard.

As it turns out, much of it is available for free on YouTube, and so I dove head first into it. Starting first with Cats does Countdown, then the Original 8 Out of 10 Cats, and then into other shows like Taskmaster and Hypothetical. The thing that ultimately made it so engaging was the recurring cast of “characters” that you find from show to show and the history between them that ends up being a story of sorts that carries through. These relationships and history between them become part of the gag.

One of the greatest is between Sean Lock and Jon Richardson, both team captains first for 8 Out of 10 Cats, and then for 8 Out of 10 Cats does Countdown. To see these two riff back and forth between each other is magic, and will have you laughing so hard that tears will most certainly be in your eyes, as they often are for Jimmy Carr, the host of these shows. If you watched the first clip, then you saw their first head to head match of Carrot in a Box. You can find their rematch here, and if you watch that, then you can get a small idea of the comedy gold these two could make together.

Sean didn’t need Jon in order to be funny, however. Quite the opposite. Sean was always funny on his own. This sort of random genius that people often aspire to, but few lack the actually timing and delivery to pull it off. You remember that I mentioned I was drawn to the show because of how much the others were laughing from Joe’s poem; Sean could make the whole room laugh so hard that they were begging for him to stop talking so they could catch their breath. He wouldn’t though. He would keep the gag going to its conclusion, which would be some place you couldn’t possibly have predicted, but it still made sense.

When you have depression and anxiety, you have days where you don’t feel like laughing. Days where you need to get outside of your own head. Over the years I’ve had different things that have helped me through these days or portions of my life that the struggle was more than I could handle alone. 8 Out of 10 Cats does Countdown was one of those things, and Sean Lock was a big part of why that was the case. I will always be grateful for the times that he made me smile on days that I didn’t feel much like smiling. My thoughts are with his family during this difficult time. May he rest in peace.

#sean lock #8 out of 10 cats does countdown

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Throwback Thursday! A day for good memories (wink!)

Very sad to hear about the passing of comedian Sean Lock, a brilliant and very funny man. I am in total awe of people who can stand on a stage and make an audience laugh. People like Robin Williams didn’t even have jokes, he’d just talk!

Very interesting but very weird story! As the first Covid lockdown hit, workers in Britain opted to turn their sheds into offices – “shoffices” – and bars, but the trend has led to a surge in outbuilding fires. Data from insurer Zurich found that blazes in sheds, garages and conservatories rose by 16% in 2020 compared with the previous year. The rise has been put down to the popularity of converting residential outbuildings to shoffices, bars and home gyms. Planning applications for garage conversions increased by a quarter over the past year as people increasingly worked from home and spent more time indoors. What is going on? Are these clumsy people burning down their own outbuildings? Or are jealous neighbours setting them alight?

And here is an interesting Brexit story. You must have seen empty shelves at your local supermarket and some branches of Nando’s had to shut down because they couldn’t get supplies. Why? Covid? Shortage of food? Shortage of drivers? Are businesses struggling to get people to work for low wages? Not a surprise, really! Will that force wages up? A friend of mine, a black English guy who works on building sites says that a lot of east Europeans have “gone home” and they were happy to work for low wages but, now all that’s left is British people, my mate is now getting paid more per hour. Economics, eh?

I’ve got five grandsons and one granddaughter, and she is coming to see me on Monday. I am very excited! I look at her every day, as she’s part of my screen saver, but I don’t see her very often. We may well pop down to Westfield in Shepherd’s Bush to see if we can purchase her some goodies. And, if I can get her to smile, you’ll see a selfie at some point.

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?) I love you all. My ambition is to get to 100 reviews for ‘Whatever Makes Them Dance’ (90 so far) and 40 reviews of ‘Keep It Fun’ by the end of the year, so please read and review at least one of them. I thank you.

#mixcloud #mi soul #lockdown #new blog #dj #music #coronavirus #books

[breezeinmonochromenight]

i have a question about silent hill, because i can't really find any information about this out there. i know that, in 2, it's stated that the town was built over native land, which is one theory for why there's a spiritual power that was unintentionally corrupted during alessa's ritual/by the psychic projection of her nightmares. but my question is, are there two versions of silent hill? one where normal people live and go about their daily lives and one where these people are, for lack (1/2)

So the original (game) lore is that the town was built on stolen Native American land, and that the area around Toluca Lake always held some sort of unknown spiritual/otherworldly power. The Native Americans that inhabited the place saw the land as sacred and whatever force that was there as benevolent, but the dark history that followed (as in, two very deadly epidemics, countless executions, the Civil War, and The Order's activities — punctuated by Dahlia Gillespie’s attempt to revive a god) permanently corrupted that power.

There’s only (physically) one town, but it exists in four... states of reality, I guess you could call them: the Real World, the Fog World and the Otherworld, and Nowhere.

The Real World is the normal town. It’s pretty much a deserted/ghost town that lacks the monsters, the heavy supernatural fog that never lets up, etc. It’s basically what Laura sees in Silent Hill 2, because she’s just a little kid and her only ‘wrongdoing’ is being mildly bratty. It’s strictly bounded to reality; the default/original state.

The Fog World is the... intermediate, almost purgatory-esque version of the town that differs a bit from person to person, since it’s based on that person’s fears and anxieties. Regardless of what it looks like, though, the fog persists and the monsters manifest here. I’ve personally always considered this the “transition” state between the Real and Otherworld, where the character has one foot in each, but I don’t know how correct that is.

The Otherworld is the nightmare form of the town and isn’t quite reality — but it’s considered real and on another plane of existence. There’s actually a doctor's journal in Silent Hill 2 that implies the Otherworld “lies on the border where reality and unreality intersect, a place both close and distant”. It’s heavily shaped by the person’s fears and psyche, and people that aren’t directly connected to Alessa (like Eddie, James, Angela, etc.) can experience it, but won’t necessarily see it as she sees it.

Nowhere is part of the Otherworld, but it’s special to Alessa and is like a condensed, even more bizarro version of all the places the character has visited/that Alessa herself knows and is, essentially, the “heart” of the Otherworld. Since Alessa is the source for the Otherworld, and in both instances where Nowhere has shown up in-game the protagonists are like next door to Alessa’s body, the running theory is that being physically close to her real form may trigger the shift into Nowhere.

I think the best example of how it works actually comes from the first Silent Hill movie, shockingly enough. There’s a scene where Sean Bean’s character is walking through like a hallway or something in the school in the Silent Hill in the Real world, while his wife is running through the Otherworld version of the same hallway. He can’t see her or anything she’s experiencing, but he can feel her presence and that she’s so close to the point he can smell the perfume she always wears. The other good example is Laura and James’ interaction in the hospital — Laura gets James locked in a room and she thinks it’s a funny joke, and is totally oblivious to all the monsters in that room that want to kill James.

Also: Vincent’s whole schtick about “they look like monsters to you?” does potentially have some weight to it, imo, because we’re seeing the world as Heather sees it and some of the more humanoid monsters (esp. the Missionary) could very well be Order members that have taken on a more perverse form in her eyes. How literal that is, I don’t know. But yeah. It makes sense that a part of Alessa would see Order members as monsters, and I do feel like there’s a grain of truth in what Vincent says — but that he’s also more than a little bit of a crackpot (and possibly dipping into the PTV drug the Order uses given his bad hygiene) and shouldn’t be taken at face value.

But that being said, I mean.... Heather straight up kills Douglas with her switchblade in the bad ending of Silent Hill 3, and the trophy that pops for the bad ending is “It was all in your head”. So yeah, I wouldn’t totally dismiss Vincent lol.

#i see that town #solynacea #replies #silent hill #sh #horror tag #horror

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

Into the Void

*This is my Dark/Anti horror story. There is no shipping of them or any Septiplier. There is such themes as blood, gore, torture, abuse and other things. If that’s not your thing then please move along. If it is your thing then I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment on what you thing of it. I love comments.*

Word count: 2,480

"Mark Fischbach! You get your ass down here right now!" I yell at the top of my lungs, slamming the front door open at the same time. Mark was supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago, but he never showed up. I'm sure he probably got caught up in recording a video for his channel. I had texted and called him multiple times, but I never got a reply back. At times, being a Youtuber's friend can be frustrating. With a sigh, I turned to go back outside and start the arduous task of bringing my bags in. Before I can put even a foot out the door, I hear a loud thunk from upstairs and then barking.

A door slowly opens, and the barking gets significantly louder. I chuckle as a fluffy golden retriever runs down the stairs, straight at me, tail wagging a mile a minute.

"CHICA! How is the beautiful fluffy puppers?" I coo as I kneel down, so I can give her all the love she deserves. This is my first time ever meeting her, but Mark was always sending me pics and videos of her. So I'm pretty excited to get to love on her.

"Sorry, Bri. I..um..lost track of time." Mark's guilty voice comes from the stairs.

I look up and glare at him as he walks over to me. He scratches the back of his head as he gives me a sheepish grin. "You're lucky that Chica is sooo adorable. Otherwise, you would be in so much trouble! All you had to do was say you got held up. I would have understood, you ass!" I huff at him and go to grab my bags.

"So, are you saying I'm not adorable?" he gives me a fake pout as he throws his arm around my shoulder." Not when you leave me hanging at the airport with not even a call." I laugh as I hip bump him, causing him to stumble. I never could stay mad at him for long. His antics made me laugh too much for that.

"Well, since I'm off to such a bad start as a host. I'll get your bags." He grabs my two suitcases while I grab the smaller duffel bag.

Mark and I have been best friends since we were kids. We were neighbors when he lived in Ohio and became inseparable. We stayed super close until he moved to LA, and I stayed in Ohio. We texted and video chatted all the time, but it was never the same as being in person. When my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, I was absolutely devastated.

We were a month away from getting married. I had come home from a work meeting and realized all his stuff was gone. No note. Nothing. I locked myself in my apartment for over a week, just lay in bed. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I cut contact with everyone. I was numb to everything, and I did nothing to stop myself from spiraling faster and faster down into the abyss of nothingness.

I guess Mark and his girlfriend, Amy, got worried because the next thing I know, Mark is banging on my door early one morning, hollering at me to open my damn door. I'm not sure who was more shocked. Me, at their sudden appearance or them, at my disastrous looks.

Two hours later, and I've had my first shower and meal in who knows how long. They sat with me and let me cry on their shoulder for as long as I needed. Well, Amy did. Mark just sat on the couch, looking super uncomfortable and trying super hard to cheer me up. After awhile, Mark's joking nature started to cheer me up, and Amy joined in, talking about all the antics their friends had gotten up to. It was almost midnight when I finally had them convinced that I was feeling tons better. Before they left, Amy had managed to get a promise out of me that I would come to LA and stay for an undefined amount of time.

I was hoping I could get away with only a few days, but Amy wouldn't hear anything of it and told me to pack for at least two weeks. Guess I really worried them if they wanted to keep me for that long. That was the reason why one short month later, I was hauling my things into their house.

I follow Mark upstairs to the guest bedroom and throw my bag on the bed. Next thing I know, Mark has me in a giant hug. I tense at first but quickly relax into it. "I'm so glad you came, Bri. I've been worried about you. I was afraid you might bail on me last minute." His voice is thick with emotions as he puts his chin on my head.

I shrug as I fight not to cry. "I thought about it a million times, but in the, end I knew it would do me some good. Plus, I just plain missed you. Your videos just don't do the real you justice." I pull myself out of the hug and look around as I realize someone is missing. "Where is Amy at? I thought she was gonna be here."

"Oh, she went on a girl's trip with Sean's girlfriend. They wanted some time to bond over girl things. They didn't say how long they would be gone, but I'm sure they'll be back before you leave." He gives me a mischievous grin. "That means you’re stuck with me for who knows how long."

I start laughing like a maniac as I think of all the pranks I can pull on Mark without retribution from both of them. "OH no. That means you'll be stuck with ME. Now, what's a girl gotta do to get some food around this joint?" I rub my hands together and lick my lips as I think about eating real food.

He grumbles jokingly about not signing up to be my personal chef as he makes his way to the kitchen. I'm just about to follow when I notice a weird, flickering shadow flit across the doorframe. I look around the room to see what might have caused it but don't see anything.

I must be really tired, I think as I shake my head and continue on my way to the kitchen.

"Here's the thing. I've been so busy trying to get videos done, so I can spend time with you, that I forgot to make a trip to the store. I've got stuff to make sandwiches, or we can order out?" He is definitely not guilty as he tells me this. I'm pretty sure he is using me as an excuse to get fast food by the smile on his face.

"Damn, Mark. You act like I showed up out of the blue instead of planning this visit for a month. Sandwiches will be just fine with me." I laugh as I push past him towards the fridge. Mark is helping me get all the stuff together when there is a knock at the door. Chica instantly starts barking and makes a beeline for the door. Mark looks at me very quickly with a super not guilty look. The look on his face has me instantly on guard.

"Bri, please don't be mad, but I might have told Sean that you are gonna be staying with me and that you are a huge fan of his. I talk about you all the time to him, and he wanted to meet you. His girlfriend is on that trip with Amy so he is also gonna be staying here for a bit." That shithead was dead. His fans are going to be so pissed cause I am about to murder this man.

I don't know how my body did it, but it felt like all the blood in my face went straight to my cheeks. I'm a very shy person when it comes to anyone that might even be remotely famous. My anxiety goes into overdrive, especially since I might have a small celebrity crush on the Youtuber known as Jacksepticeye.

"YOU FUCKING DID WHAT?!" I'm sure if my voice was an octave higher, I could have shattered glass. Mark is laughing his ass off at my reaction and starts walking towards the door. "DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR!" I shriek in absolute panic.

That asshat is laughing so hard at this point that he has to lean against the wall to steady himself. Sean is apparently tired of waiting for Mark and decides to let himself in. "OI! Ya gobshyte going ta let me stand outside all day?" Sean makes eye contact with me as he says this before an unopened loaf of bread hits him directly in the face.

In my panic, my fight instincts kicked in, and I threw the 1st thing my hands came across. Luckily for Sean, it just happened to be bread. Then my flight instincts kick in. I give a horrified shriek, and I hightail it into my room with Mark's laughter following me the entire way. I close the door shut and rip the blanket off the bed. I then proceed to go to the closet, open the door, wrap the blanket around me and hide in the closet with the door shut.

I will become one with the Darkness if it's the last thing I do.

I'm only in the closet for about 10 minutes before Mark finds me. I'm no longer freaking out, but now the embarrassment is kicking into overdrive. "I live in this closet now. I can never leave. It is my home." I groan into the blanket.

"That was the funniest shit I've ever seen. My only regret is that I wasn't recording it." He chuckles as he pulls the blanket off my head. "You planning on hiding in here forever? I mean, it wasn't as bad as the time you met Daniel Cudmore." I groan even harder before I look up at him. " The difference between then and now is that Daniel didn't get A FACE FULL OF BREAD! This is the most embarrassing thing ever. I can never face him now. I hate you so much right now. This entire thing is your fault." I can only facepalm as my cheeks start heating up again. Mark chuckles as he shakes his head.

He briefly glances at the doorway and then back at me. He flops onto the floor just outside the closet door. "Sean thought it was funny...Well, once he got over the shock, that is. Come onnnnn. He came all this way from England just to meet one of my best friends. He can't do that if you hide away in here. He's just a regular dude that also happens to be a Youtuber. You'll never get over that weird celebrity shyness you have if you don't talk to him." he starts trying to yank the blanket off me.

"Ugh. Why do you have to bring logic into this? I can't help it if my stupid brain has to spazz out. Give me a few minutes to gather my courage. If I'm not downstairs in 15 minutes, then you can come get me like the barbarian you are." I laugh and try to yank the blanket back.

"You are such a chicken shit, I swear." He smiles and stands up. Before I can do anything else, he yanks the blanket super hard. It jerks me partially out of the closet, and I fall out, laying on my side. There is a familiar laugh close to the bedroom door that is neither mine nor Mark's. I immediately tense up and look at the doorway. Those blue eyes are the first thing I see. I overlook many other details except that cute Irish boi smile. Then I realize that Sean is standing in the doorway. Looking at me. I dive back into the closet while simultaneously yanking the blanket back in with me. I slam the closet door shut, and not even a second later, Sean and Mark are laughing hysterically.

Yuck it up, you assholes. I don't respond as I am now busy trying to make the floor more comfortable with the blanket. "You have to come out eventually, Bri. You can't stay in there all day." His voice gets farther away as he talks.

" I just need some time! Go play some video games or whatever shit you guys do together! I yell back at him.

There was no way in hell I was ever leaving this closet while Sean was here. I guess it's a good thing my phone is fully charged cause I'm going to need something to do in here. I get on YouTube and start watching my Darkiplier/Antisepticeye playlist.

I love Mark like a brother and would never be able to think of him any other way, but when he made that first video going full Darkiplier….I wasn't able to FaceTime him for two weeks because I would instantly think of Dark and start blushing. The first time I saw Anti's full appearance I completely fangirled. I must have watched the video on repeat a million times. What can I say? I love my bad boys.

I'm not sure how long I stay in the closet watching the videos but I feel myself start to get tired. I'm fighting sleep and losing badly. I'm just about to conk out when I feel a hand gently caress my cheek.

"You'll do just fine." a voice whispers to me as I fall unconscious.

#Darkiplier #antisepticeye #markiplier #jacksepticeye #horror #ao3 fanfic #DarkestAnti