#Sorry this post is probably incomprehensible

[merry-fagoland]

OMG finally I found somebody that thinks the same, like the thing we already know that dain will be a character we can get but still we know they don't hesitate to kill characters in their other games and he's clearly sick of life but I really want to see him succeed in the thing he's doing because he clearly still has plans with the traveler and most likely want to break the curse for everyone and then dies because that would be clean ending that probably gonna make me cry for two months but it will be Probably a better ending than keeping him alive !

YES YES YES. YOU GET IT. like. i think dainsleif is going to die and i think he KNOWS it. he's very driven to break the curse and stop the abyss order, and he wont let himself stop until he does, and his duty is fulfilled. but i think he is fully aware that if he ever accomplishes this goal that he's not going to walk out alive.

but i also think this is important for him because he's also just. tired.

at the end of the journey he'll finally be able to rest. and for a man who can't die, what better rest is there than to... well.

#^ ​screenshot from the very first quest with him #also want to add on #considering that whole thing with halfdan and the black serpent knights in tha chasm #i wonder if his story will go a similar way? #sorry if this is all incomprehensible btw it is 4 am #if dainsleif dies i will be completely INCONSOLABLE but also so so SO satisfied #🐁.txt #asks #i'll probably go more in depth with a follow up to that post from earlier #but in the morning #joker's character thoughts

[inkedmyths]

The biggest lesbians in all of Trails

#sorry no context for this this will only make sense to me and maybe one other person #so this is probably incomprehensible otherwise. i want it on my blog anyways #trails of cold steel #the legend of heroes #vita clotilde #mcburn #not a ship post they are just lesbians. in general.

[brittlebutch]

a lot of people seem to use Entry #60 as 'proof' for the crux of the "Brian didn't care about Tim, he was Taking Advantage of Tim's conditions and Forcing him to work as part of totheark" thing, but honestly when you think about it there's no possible way Brian could have possibly orchestrated that series of events, like you almost have to interpret that as a baffling group of coincidences

#N posts stuff #mh lb #it's not like Brian has loads of mutual friends that he could ask to call Tim out one night; Tim's departure right as Brian showed up #just has to be a coincidence ; second yes. Brian does steal Tim's meds & that's a dick move but it's almost safe to assume #that Tim and Brian had been sharing prescriptions back in S1 - that's why the pills were at Brian's house that time Jay broke in #even if Tim no longer remembers that agreement it's not like Brian is brimming with other options so i can see the throughline of it #but there's NO way that Brian knew that 1) Tim was going to immediately turn around and come back home OR #2) be in the throes of an attack when he did so ; there's no Possible way he planned for that -- even if you Could assume that like. what #Brian 'knows' the operator is following him & Somehow orchestrated an encounter 1) no that doesn't make any sense and #2) that Still doesn't make any sense bc Tim has been Plenty Close to the Operator before w/ almost no negative effects (like in #Entry 17 when it's Right behind him) so there's no possible way Brian could have predicted that would unfold this way #sure it's weird he sets up the camera in the closet before Tim comes back but that Could Have been something unrelated #after all sometimes Brian DOES deliberately put himself on camera so someone knows he's responsible for something #or maybe he even planned to leave the camera there for later but it doesn't make Sense to interpret that as him Knowing what would happen #like don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say Brian is a pinnacle of ethics and moral behavior lmfao but also it's like #a kind of incomprehensible argument to make that he was Responsible for Triggering Tim's seizure that night when for all the #information Brian had on hand when he broke in he'd think Tim probably wouldn't be back home until much later #(''but the Creators Clearly intended'' yeah sure but since the creators also failed to establish a coherent series of events that SHOW #it then like. the intent doesn't matter anymore; sure they scripted the events in close succession but that doesn't mean they #scripted Intent & if they meant to then they did a bad job portraying it to the point the supposed intent is meaningless sorry lmao) #and EVEN IF you get this far and you're Still like 'but tim went after Jay and Brian would've Known he'd do that' like. no he wouldn't #because in Entry 18 when we see Tim have a seizure the first thing he does when jay approaches him after it is Run Away #so Again there's no consistent throughline of behaviors that Brian could have Possibly known about to orchestrate jack shit

[pushing500]

Sorry if this has been asked before, or if you've already shown it, but could you share your mod list?

I sure can! However, due to my technological ineptness and inability to figure out how to export a proper fancy crisp mod list, this list has been hand-typed with my own brief and probably unhelpful descriptions of what each mod does (if I can remember or comprehend it, that is).

There are about 180 mods, give or take, so it's a long list. I'll pop it under here for anybody who wants to check them out:

This is in the current load order

Harmony (a framework one I think)

Vanilla Backgrounds Expanded (this is just cool for loading screens etc.)

HugsLib (I think this is also framework one)

JecsTools (I think this is also framework one)

Vanilla Expanded Framework (I'm near-certain this is a framework one, based on the name)

A Dog Said… Animal Prosthetics (animal bionics wooo)

LBE’s A Dog Said Easy Patcher (to add bionic compatibility with all the modded animals woooo)

Better ModMismatch Window (for if I do ever feel the need to mess with the modlist)

RT Fuse (I don’t like the zzzzt events)

[GMT] Trading Spot (to stop stupid traders walking in my house)

[NL] Facial Animation - WIP (they make funny faces :3) 

Let’s Have a Cat! (I like cats)

Humanoid Alien Races (Aliens are cool)

Tree People (Continued) (because non-human colonists are awesome)

[ATW] House Decor (for aesthetic purposes)

Little Green Men - Legacy (Aliens are cool)

Vanilla Backstories Expanded (adds new and fun backstories for colonists)

Vanilla Animals Expanded (I insist on having a huge selection of pets)

Vanilla Animals Expanded - Royal Animals (more pets heehee)

More Persona Traits (this is why Xanxalbur the persona zeushammer is so cool)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Dryads (more gauranlen tree stuff)

Vanilla Base Generation Expanded (makes enemy bases on caravan trips more fun)

Vanilla Achievements Expanded (sometimes it gives me a serotonin)

Vanilla Races Expanded - Custom Icons (good for xenotypes and biotech stuff)

Dubs Bad Hygiene (bathrooms cool)

Hospitality (easy to make friends with other factions if you run a hotel)

Android Tiers Reforged (heehoo robots cool)

[AP] Lovin’ Reworked (Irwin and Connie are both AWFUL in bed, if you were curious 😳)

Vanilla Races Expanded - Phytokin (magic tree people very fun)

Vanilla Races Expanded - Saurid (dinosaur people wooooo!)

Vanilla Fishing Expanded (a good way to keep Wookshys distracted)

ReGrowth: Core (I don’t remember what this does but the thumbnail is cool and I assume it’s a framework mod)

Vanilla Plants Expanded (more farm stuff hooray!)

Vanilla Textures Expanded - [NL] Facial Animation (why my colonists have such cute lil’ faces)

Vanilla Plants Expanded - More Plants (even MORE farm stuff!!)

Vanilla Persona Weapons Expanded (more skins for persona weapons- another reason Xanxalbur the persona zeushammer is so awesome)

Vanilla Nutrient Paste Expanded (mmmmm yummy goo)

More Descriptive Words and Names (adds more descriptive words and names)

Ebbbs (horrible eldritch goo creatures my beloved)

Floordrawings (adds more floordrawings for kids to draw)

Horse Breeds - Skin Variations (horses very fun!!)

Vanilla Hair Retextured (helps vanilla hair look a bit nicer)

Trait and Backstory Icons (gives traits and backstories cute lil’ icons next to ‘em)

Geological Landforms (cool new map gens)

Biome Transitions (if your map tile is next to a different biome they can mix together at the edges)

Cactacae (Continued) (because non-human colonists are awesome)

NamesGalore (adds new names for people and stuff)

NamesGaloreLatin (adds new names for people and stuff but in Latin this time) 

Character Editor (I wanted to start with at least one animakin colonist)

Vanilla Animals Expanded - Caves (I have a pet cave bear now called Witch)

Strong Bridge (makes bridges strong)

Roo’s Dreadlock Hairstyles (Irwin’s hair is from this one)

[SBV] Recreational Drum Use (I like drums and so would my colonists if they had them)

River’s Tribal Shoes (don’t want to get prickles in your feet)

Romance on The Rim (they have to get their daily smooches or they’ll be sad)

Pawn Name Variety (I like them to have lots of different name options)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Architect (adds new building stuff)

Camera+ (for taking better screenshots)

Vanilla Cooking Expanded (expands the cooking)

Vanilla Psycasts Expanded (expands the psycasts)

Biomes! Core (the framework for more biomes mods)

Biomes! Islands (in case I wanted to reenact the movie Castaway)

Alpha Animals (even more pets!)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Memes and Structures (lots of cool ideology stuff)

Simple Sidearms (every colonist needs MANY WEAPONS)

Doors Expanded (adds new doors)

A Rimworld of Magic (I don’t use this heaps in the current game but it is very cool)

Anima Gear (I could make stuff out of anima grass if I felt like doing the research for it)

Sexuality Traits (every pawn has a specific sexuality, instead of defaulting to 'straight' unless explicitly stated otherwise)

Vanilla Outposts Expanded (I could go make outpost camps if I wanted)

CM Color Coded Mood Bar (helpful for spotting incoming mental breaks)

Avoid Friendly Fire (you think they would be smart enough to know not to walk in front of the guns but noooo)

Vanilla Brewing Expanded (alcohol woo)

Vanilla Brewing Expanded - Coffees and Teas (coffee and tea woo)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Power (adds new power sources)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Mechanoids (scary robots)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded (can never have too many weapons)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Medieval (more factions to make friends with)

Giddy Up! Core (framework for riding animals)

Giddy Up! Battle Mounts (ride animals into battle)

Giddy Up! Ride and Roll (ride animals around doing daily tasks)

Giddy Up! Caravans (ride animals on caravan trips)

Megafauna (biiiiiig pets!!)

Vanilla Plants Expanded - Succulents (for making the colony look pretty)

Biomes! Prehistoric (dinosaurs :3)

Vanilla Genetics Expanded (I don’t use this a lot but re-reading the description makes me think I should because it looks like a lot of fun)

Vanilla Genetics Expanded - More Lab Stuff (presumably adds “more lab stuff” to the aforementioned mod)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Security (more defense stuff)

[FSF] Complex Jobs (Legacy Version) (splits jobs into smaller subsections)

Snap Out! (slap pawns out of their mental breaks)

Wall Light (wall light my beloved)

Standalone Hot Spring (geothermal power boring and ugly, hot spring FAR better use of steam geysers)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Splits and Schisms (the one that meant Wookshys could start his stupid sub-cult)

Allow Tool (easier to forbid and unforbid items)

Minify Everything (sometimes picking up whole sections of brick wall is okay)

Replace Stuff (so I can build stone walls on top of wood walls without un-freezing the freezer, etc.)

Mod Manager (I have lots of mods to manage)

Interaction Bubbles (to see what mean stuff Irwin is saying to his friends each day)

Polyamory Beds (Vanilla Edition) (tempted to use this in all my guest rooms)

Haul to Stack (so they don’t clutter the freezer with individual piles of food instead of one big pile)

Pick Up and Haul (pawns can carry more than one thing at a time)

While You’re Up / PUAH+ (pawns will carry stuff while they’re on their way to and fro)

Giddy Up! Add On: Saddles (saddles don’t do anything they just look nice)

Roo’s Royalty Hairstyles (fancy hair)

Roo’s Accessory Hairstyles (Wendy’s hair was from this mod R.I.P.)

Rainbow’s Hair Mod (I like lots of options)

ResearchPal - Forked (I’ve always played with this mod and it’s hard to adjust without it)

Tilled Soil (it’s not cheating it’s just farming)

VGP Garden Resources (it’s a lovely day on the Rimworld and you are growing uranium in your garden)

More Faction Interaction (Continued) (I wanna be friends with EVERYONE!!)

Rim of Madness - Bones (skulls for the skull throne and all that jazz)

Anthro Race (because non-human colonists are awesome)

Alpha Mythology (adds mythological creatures to the Rimworld)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Laser (adds laser weapons)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Pirates (love me some pirates)

Alpha Biomes (can never have enough biomes)

All The “Vanilla Storytellers Expanded” mods, but I have literally never used them due to my firm standing as a Randy Random purist

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Relics and Artifacts (adds new relics and artifacts for your ideology)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Icons and Symbols (easier to customise your ideology)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Heavy (adds heavy weapons)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Non-Lethal (for when you REALLY wanna recruit someone)

Erin’s Cottage Collection (everything looks so cozy ❤️)

Euglena Framework (idk mate)

Euglena Expanded - Implant (idk mate)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Empire (adds more Empire stuff)

ReGrowth: Tropical (adds new tropical plants and stuff I think)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded (the core bit)

Vanilla Textures Expanded - Variations (I don’t want everything looking so uniform! There’s like twelve different people building the chairs; they’re gonna look different)

Vanilla Fishing Expanded - Xtra Fish (more fish to distract Wookshys)

Vanilla Textures Expanded (makes stuff look sharper and crisper)

Euglena Expanded - Euglena Xenotype (tree people go brrrr)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Props and Decor (more props and decor)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Quickdraw (adds quickdraw weapons)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Coilguns (adds coilguns)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Settlers (like cowboys and stuff I think)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Frontier (weapons for cowboys and stuff)

Vanilla Expanded - Ideology Patches (for patching things up to Ideology I guess)

Vanilla Expanded - Royalty Patches (for patching things up to Royalty I guess)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Spacer (cool spaceship style furniture)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Medical (my hospital is VERY cool)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Tribal (adds more tribal weapons)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Makeshift (adds makeshift weapons)

Vanilla Cooking Expanded - Sushi (if my colonists weren’t mostly vegetarian we could make sushi with all the fish Wookshys catches)

Vanilla Animals Expanded - Endangered (gonna start a conservation project)

Vanilla Cooking Expanded - Stews (I don’t know I had this one installed. Are vegetarian stews a thing? Probably not)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Art (I’m something of an artist myself)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Farming (for farm furniture I guess)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Production (makes for very nice workshops)

Vanilla Apparel Expanded - Accessories (adds fun utility items)

Vanilla Social Interactions Expanded (new social interactions for fun and interesting storytelling)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Insectoids (bugs. ew.)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Vikings (adds vikings)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Grenades (adds more grenades)

Vanilla Traits Expanded (I love hoarding traits)

Vanilla Events Expanded (more events)

Vanilla Apparell Expanded (more clothes)

Erin’s Cat Overhaul (I like cats)

Vanilla Armour Expanded (adds more armour)

Erin’s Hairstyles - Redux (There’s never enough hairstyle variety)

Rimsenal - Hair Pack (more hairstyles lmao)

Vanilla Hair Expanded (more hair)

Gradient Hair (so your colonists can have frosted tips I guess)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Hats and Rags (adds new ideology clothes)

Tabula Rasa (idk mate)

What’s That Mod? (tells you what mod stuff is from. VERY USEFUL)

LightsOut (pawns turn lights off when not using them)

RPG Style Inventory Revamped (better inventory layout)

RPG Traits+ (more traits haha)

Sand Castles (colonists can build sandcastles for recreation if there happens to be sand around)

Bundle of Traits (give me ALL THE TRAITS)

More Religious Origins (more ideology stuff)

Optimisation: Meats C# Edition (all meat is just “raw meat” unless it’s specifically “human meat” or “insect meat”, so it can all be stacked together easily)

Prisoners Don’t Have Keys (they gotta bash their way out if they want to escape)

Rational Romance 2 (Continued) (more romance-y stuff)

More Ideological Words (just makes random generation a bit easier and more interesting)

Roo’s Glasses Hairstyles (Debby’s hair is from this one)

Tau Armory (my favourite WH40k faction)

Somewhere in here is also the "Toddlers" mod for when Baby Kaznove comes along, but I added it after I'd typed up the whole list, and now I don't know where it fits in. Sorry about that!)

#asks #rimworld #gracie plays #rimworld mods #gracie's rimworld modlist #I did post the modlist here before but it was in a reblog of a reblog I think #So it's probably good to stick it here for people who feel like seeing how drastically I change my game haha #There's lots more mods I want to use #But I don't like loading new mods partway through a game #It always stresses me out so I'll wait until the next colony #Thank you for your ask!! #Sorry the list is probably incomprehensable #That's on me #Have a glorious day!! xoxo

[future-circuit]

sevens really is the best child power fantasy (i mean that as positively as possible). like okay the world is ruled over by a bunch of largely faceless and ridiculous adults and most of them tend to be antagonistic. goha 66 (yeah remember them) is full of adults who became so worn down by life and lost all wonder and youth as they grew older and disillusioned from the world, the 'president' of goha is withered and probably dead after 'ruling' over goha city for so long. otes is otes. there are only really two adults that are positive, yuga's mother who, by association, is automatically on the protagonists' side, similar to akinori (luke and tiger's papa), princess g (though notably princess g seems to be quite young either way), and mimi.

mimi who, remember, can be mistaken for a primary schooler and one of her main gimmicks is that she loves the past. she's obsessed with the bubble era, when things were economically going quite well (this could be put into parallel with how, when you're a child, everything seems so much better and less complicated). the bubble era is her youth and she clings to it. everything about mimi is, really, a tribute to youth. that's why she's one of the only adults posited as an ally. she knows what it's like to be underestimated for being young even though she's an adult, she's still got that youthful vigor that the likes of goha 66 lack. she's pretty transparent and a bad liar unlike otes but you know who tend to be like that? children.

despite sevens being, in large part, about taking power from adults, i think mimi's inclusion in the cast is really important, though some might see it as contradictory.

she's not thrown aside but is present throughout the series very consistently. she's childish, yes, but she's still an adult. and despite everything she does take time to look after the kids who are running about sticking it to the man. obviously she has her own child but it's probably most obvious when it comes to the goha siblings. which in itself i think causes an interesting paradox in which she at once takes on a parental figure to them and is their employee meaning that while she technically has power over them as their acting guardian, they also have power over her as her employer. in a way, you could argue that this levels the playing field when it comes to power dynamics (of course, they really have more power seeing as they have the power to fire her while she can, what, ground them? but the real consequences aren't as important here as what they mean symbolically).

i don't know where i was going with this i started on one train of thought then i got wrapped up in mimi posting and lost track it

#yugioh sevens #mimi atachi #anyway sorry for this word jumble #some parts are probably incomprehensible to anyone but me #as soon as i decided to start talking about mimi the post's original purpose was over

[nikatyler]

Weird hands when there's cake weird hands when there's cake

Roses live on!!

#if you haven't been here since 2017 this post is incomprehensible to you probably and i am sorry about that #simblr #ts3 #sims 3 #the sims 3 #sims 3 legacy #sims 3 lepacy #ts3 late night #fleur lepacy #fleur gen 4 #ode fleur #sawyer fleur #twyla fleur #helena fleur

[amadeusevenstar]

Is there anything you are excited (and able) to share about whatever fic you’re currently working on?

ok so it is pretty difficult to think of something that i wouldn’t consider to be like,, spoilers,

rn i’m trying to finish that fic where Miyagi and Johnny smoke weed together but i’m procrastinating a lot 🤪

I’m actually rlly excited to show ppl the beginning part bc what happened was I saw that one spider poem (iykyk) and i was like ‘ayo this is so johnny coded’ and now there’s a whole scene inspired by that

omg also turns out dutch and jessica accidentally just have rlly good (platonic) chemistry w each other and i ended up writing a bunch of scenes w them being chaotic together which is fun

#thx for the ask :))) #i’m sorry if this is like incomprehensible #i promise it will make sense if u read the actual scene i wrote #probably gonna be a while before it gets posted tho 👀 #cobra kai #karate kid #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #lawrusso #the karate kid 1984 #ao3 writer

[imreaallyasorry]

Late night doodle….

#art #digital art #character design #if you guys were wondering why I don’t yap as much or get on tumblr as much anymore it’s because I only get on super late at night #I’m busy with school and my naps #mutual’s if I reblog your posts with no tags it’s not because I don’t have anything to say it’s because I’m too sleepy to type it out #I’m gonna get back into posting my Loki and Thor art #I don’t wanna post any because it’s just all incomprehensible Thor doodles #I’ll probably render a few and then add Loki there too #or just do a bunch of solo Loki drawings because I love drawing her #my favorite character is Thor!!! proceeds to never draw him #I’ll probably hunt down some of my mutuals ocs and draw them when I have time #I actually don’t have a lot of mutuals with like public ocs #they draw their favorite character #soooooo I’ll have to draw their design of that character #sighhh #it’s so late guys #(it’s like 9 pm) #I usually go to bed at 8 #though I’ve been staying up later for some reason??? #don’t know why but I don’t mind the extra time #still not waking up any earlier though #I should stop waking up 20 minutes before I have to go places… #my bed is so comfy!!! #sighhhhhhhh sometimes self care is doing the hard things #(is kicking and screaming clawing at my mattress) #((I have to go walk my dog)) #unemployed activities #I’m gonna get a job in summer because I am not working on TOP of school #I’m sorry my art commissions I do once every 2 months drain me enough

[cryptcatz]

i hate community in-fighting so much. “im more disabled than you, my pain and suffering is valid but yours isn’t because you aren’t disabled enough”, “im a REAL trans person you aren’t”, “i don’t make (mental illness/physical disability/lgbtq+ identity/whatever) my whole personality ppl like you are why the rest of us suffer (ableism/homophobia/transphobia/etc.)”, “you don’t deserve resources you’re STEALING from the rest of us”, etc. shut up shut up shut uppppp we should be supporting each other, uplifting each other, loving each other not this shit!!!

#transm*ds and such don’t touch this i’ll kill you #actuallydisabled #disability #trans #chronic illness #ableism #transphobia #transgender #non-binary #personal #sorry is this post incomprehensible #i should probably make it abt just being disabled or just being trans or smthn #but im mad abt transphobia and ableism from trans and disabled ppl rn #and other in fighting but specifically this rn

[grimbleshmubulous]

im gonna be honest. tumblr needs a “unblock tags but only on certain accounts” because like i have 3 mutuals who i usually click the little “show post” button for hidden stuff because they are right about everything

#is this incomprehensible idk #sorry my new years resolution was to stop agonizing over whether or not to post something and just try and be myself #sorry for rambling in the tags but i probably shouldn’t say sorry cause that defeats the point of the thingy above #not related to the post #text post

[77ngiez]

screaming and crying and clenching my teeth [trying extremely hard to make nana sing in russian]

#fhis is nana [vocaloid] not nana [77ngiez] btw #77ngiez.txt #this is for the mill remix. bcs thats all ive been posting on main lately apparently #on the plus side avanna sounds very nice in her parts #i assigned nana to katya bcs their voices sound similar in my head but i wish i couldve assigned nana to sanya simply bcs. ljke. yk. gestur #s #nana vocaloid is whag my soul looks like & im kin w sanya #unfortunately tho nanas voice wouldnt work for the serious tone that the mill has so it has to be avanna #yuras first part is also avanna but with the gender [or cool/cute as v5 calls it] factor lowered so she sounds masc #his other part near the end is probably gonna be chris #im also gonna have chris on backing for his first part [and vice versa m!avanna on backinf for his other part] #ill probably do amy on backing for sanya #and kaori on backing for katya #sorry this is incomprehensible btw. im autistic #OH WAIT FOR CONTEXT #sanya sings olyas parts here; yura does sergeis; katya does the rus bit that i consider kolyas but that ik is still being sung by olya tech #ically #tumblr tags stop limiting my autism challenge. i know aboht the chatacter limit but they should waive it for me bcs im special

[sorceresslodge]

the drusilla/spike/buffy dynamic except it's the: you broke my heart and my self esteem for a girl who's a remix of me / your new girl is my clone / do you get deja vu when she's with you lyrical universe

#if she has blue eyes i will surmise that you'll probably date her #except... if she was born on january 19 and came back wrong and has prophetic dreams... #cytherea.txt #btvs #anyway endlessly sorry for this terrible and incomprehensible post i'm so tired today has been endless #and i hate making edits now so i just type them out and make you imagine them lol

[ivettel]

up haunted by the narrative*

*nintendo/game freak actually ending arven’s story Like That. like maybe it’s part of a phenomenon we’ve seen in recent years in the industry, where older and beloved franchises have dev teams that have similarly matured and grown, and we get games like god of war that actively deal with parenthood and mortality beyond just going berserk on bots, but holy shit. to not only acknowledge that death and childhood abandonment exist and are painful and traumatic—in a franchise where death is this handwavey thing and the most explicit it’s come is probably the marowak plot point in gen 1–but to also message that love beyond the grave doesn’t fix anything, that it’s okay to be angry and confused and bitter about having to say goodbye. and in the same stroke, also validate the good in goodbye, where there can be room for change and growth past that???

it feels like a personal love letter to a past self, like somebody lost their parent and didn’t know how to cope, whether to forgive, or to move on as quickly as possible, and they allowed themselves some healing through this character. arven’s plight in general just resonates so deeply with what i think everyone struggles with at some point in their lives—growing up. trying to become your own person while dealing with the pain of losing the things that matter most to you. he is just so devastatingly human. in a sense, arven is defined by loss: that of innocence, of childhood, of parents, which culminates in a heartbreaking expression of resignation that he’ll lose mabosstiff as well. like all he wants to do is save his dog, the one and only constant presence in his life, because he cannot deal with the fear that he will lose it too. but through saving mabosstiff and being arven’s friend, and through the closure he gets from seeing his parents move on to the next world, we’re able to help release him from this cycle. and isn’t that just what we need sometimes? permission to let go?? whether intentional or not, this game feels like permission to move on from the hurt, to just live life to the fullest and be, if not the very best that no one ever was, at least better.

i started crying once turo said “look how much you’ve grown” and didn’t stop. it’s been weeks since beating this game and i continue to be floored by like. the maturity displayed in it, or the trust it has that the audience is mature enough to handle it. the way it doesn’t shy away from ugly feelings and how it validates them without enabling them. the way it appreciates that relationships can be difficult and sometimes unfixable, even with the people you’re supposed to share unconditional love with. the way it explicitly tells the player that they can be themselves and pursue happiness despite it all. hands down favourite pokemon game to date

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #arven #long post #SORRY this is probably incomprehensible it’s like 2am and i am feeling weepy

[misery-has-no-company-now]

(Horribly written rant ahead, ignore me over here if you want to)

Don't you just love it when your brother complains of pain in his leg once and he gets taken to the hospital for a full health check-up, meanwhile you wake up every day choosing whether to roll out of bed or push yourself up first based on which will hurt less because your entire body is always paining all the time but the two times you've complained of it you get yelled at for seeking attention alongside threats of being shown what actual pain is and whenever you appear to look even the slightest bit in pain with a grimace on your face you get told how it's all your fault, your fault, your fault, and nobody else's; even though you never blamed anyone for it and one of the few friends that you have told you that their parent with a medical background believes it's chronic, and your friends' parents believe you more than your own even when you've been walking on shards of broken glass your whole life just to ensure your parents are happy with you - even if they're never proud - and to make sure that you never give them an actual reason not to trust you and yet despite all that you're never believed when you talk about your pain, you're never the receiver of so much as the scrape of an understanding look, and you're never told anything except how it's all in your head, how it's because of you and your actions alone; and your problems are always cast aside with the simplest of comments of how it's because you don't drink enough water (but you're trying to quench your never ending thirst all the time, and they shout if they see you 'wasting' water by drinking a lot of it), don't eat enough (but otherwise it's that you eat too much and they hate to see you anywhere near the kitchen), don't sleep enough (but how can you possibly sleep in such pain?), don't exercise enough (but how can you, when it hurts so much that even the act of blinking feels like it will hurt every bone and muscle in your body?) and it's always you never doing enough, you never being enough, you never being satisfied with the life you live, you never being content with what you have, you being greedy and selfish and mean and attention-seeking and troublesome and burdening when all you want is for the pain in your body to go away?

I'm not hating on the fact that they were concerned for my brother over here, but I just wish that they won't make it so obvious that they didn't want me there. I thought they were finally happy with my existence once they stopped telling me that I was just an accident that upturned their lives unnecessarily and was a burden to deal with, instead just forgetting that I was even there, but looks like it turns out that they just found different ways of telling me know that, I guess.

#most incomprehensible post on my blog award probably goes to this post #sorry if you had to read this - this is the only place I can express this without my thoughts being found out #meri's discourse #random #rambles #long rant #chronic pain #ignore this #ignore me #i am venting #not seeking attention just wanted to unleash my train of thought somewhere and this was the only safe space that I could find

[labratboygirl]

shrimpocalypse is real

#this post is probably incomprehensible 2 non sillysquadders . sorry #sillysquad ‼️‼️ #🐙🍬

[tenpixelsusie]

i've probably talked about noelle at least a couple times on my blog before i effectively got dragged into ykw by the ankles but i really wanna talk ab her again because she is sincerely, honest to god, one of the characters in deltarune i saw myself in the most when i was playing chapter 2.

and one of the traits that hit me the hardest was her inability to stand up for herself emotionally for the majority of the chapter, before standing up to queen at the end, and queen apologizes.

in snowgrave, this never happens.

you, the player, the soul puppeting around kris' little pixelized body as if they were a mere plaything, are putting noelle in this position of "fight or nothing", asking her to do bigger and bigger things. it starts off with her ice powers, defeating enemies, disguising it as this "saving the world" bit, and she goes along with at first, because it's kris! she trusts them, right? they'd never intentionally hurt her, just poke fun a bit, right? haha.

...right?

it gets bigger. you get to the addison. she insists you don;t have enough money to get the ring! of course, we just don't have enough! besides, it's not that important, right?

you persist. and she gets it. just not in the conventional way.

and you keep going, keep going, keep going...

and you get to berdly.

and you still persist.

and she caves, once again.

in snowgrave, you make her a party member, but at what cost?

her freedom?

her voice?

all of the above?

perhaps so.

i find that chapter 2 really fleshes out noelle in a really bonkers way, and it intrigues me on how toby and his team handles her character in such a way that you get both a horrifying and interesting watch of seeing her cave in and give in like a good little party member, and you see how much she's capable of in both settings, in battle and out, and when you do the game as "normal" you see her wander cyber city in fascination and wonder, and you see her talk about her sister, and you see her have fun, and you see her talk to susie, and you see... so much of her. and she is SUCH a fun and wonderful character.

#this is probably inconsistent and incomprehensible but i wanted words in a post and i wanted those words to be ab noelle. okay? #deltarune #safeutdr #put a slash between i/j bc i didn't want my lil rant ab noelle to show up in the tag unwanted just bc i mentioned it briefly lol #noelle holiday #snowgrave #augh im so autistic ab her i love her so freaking muchhhhh #noelle im so sorry <3 #LOVE how this post shows up in the ij tag anyways. fuck me