#Steve’s kind of an ass | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whatstruthgottodowithit · 2 years

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I love your strories . Could you write a steve rogers x civilan reader angst maybe ? Where steve always puts reader in the back burner unintentionally . And after civil war bucky maybe stayed with steve . And as he's stressing about bucky he takes it out on the reader . Angst with fluff maybe . I'm sorry if it's too specific or weird .

AFTERTHOUGHT

Fandom: Marvel, MCU,

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Characters: Steve Rogers, Reader, You, Female

Word Count: 2017 // Rating: Teen & Up

Summary: Steve always does what’s best for Bucky

Tags/ Warnings: My Writing, Afterthought, Requested Fic, Steve’s kind of an ass, Steve and Bucky’s Friendship, Established Relationship, Love, Hugs, Fluff, Angst, PTSD, Trauma, Mentions of Infertility, Pregnancy Tests, Marriage, Marriage Problems, Afterthought, Requests, Careless, Steve, Fighting, Arguing, Rows,

Notes: hope you like it

I frowned as my eyes fell on the little window of the plastic stick and I found the one line staring back at me.

Negative. Again.

I didn’t know why I got my hopes up. Maybe because this was the first month Steve and I had been together. Maybe it was because we had time to try or at least time to try properly. Steve and I had been married for nearly two years and both of us wanted a family. We kind of assumed it would happen naturally…but that was well over a year ago and still no positive test. I tried not to worry. I was busy and Steve was always here there and everywhere. In fact, the last few months had been crazy. But this month hadn’t. This month had almost seemed normal even if we did have an extra house guest/fugitive on our hands. I liked Bucky. And I loved Steve, so having his best friend come stay with us was a no-brainer. That didn’t mean it had been particularly easy. He was nice, he never complained, he was neat and tidy but he was just always…there.

It didn’t help that Steve accommodated for everything. Bucky was having a bad day? It was Steve’s job to make him smile. Bucky was having a nightmare? Steve was out of bed like a shot sometimes even driving him around until he had shaken whatever horror was in his head away. Ironically it was as if we had a child already. And I understood why he acted like that. I just wish he’d widen his focus a little.

As I looked at the test again I could feel tears stinging my eyes but I refused to let myself be sad. Instead, I threw the test in the bin and washed my face hoping my morning routine would help distract me. By the time I got downstairs, Steve was already there cooking breakfast on the stove. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his front. I was almost a foot shorter than him but I didn’t care as my head fit snuggly in between his shoulder blades.

‘Morning,’ he said causing his chest to rattle against my ear. I smiled to myself the pain of this morning disappearing a little.

‘Morning,’ I said pulling back as he started to turn around. He looped his hands around me as I placed mine against his chest smiling as he leaned down to give me a quick kiss.

‘Sleep okay?’ he asked. I smiled and nodded as I replied, ‘you?’

‘Not really,’ he said his smile lessening a little, ‘Buck had a bad night…Tony.’

I nodded knowing not to push the matter further. Steve still felt guilty about everything that had gone down between him, Tony and Bucky. He also felt guilty about all the havoc it had caused between us. I pulled away and went to sit at the table as he went on cooking. I grabbed the morning paper which was something that I had come to like. I used to read all my news on my phone but Steve still like the feel of the morning paper in his hands and soon enough I had come to like it too. I skimmed through it. The headlines today weren’t overly cheerful and I didn’t really feel like reading it in case I put myself in a further bad mood.

Only a minute later Steve placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me and then one in his place. He moved away for a minute pouring us both a cup of coffee and bringing it back to the table. He smiled as he sat down next to me. As soon as the plate hit the table I realised how hungry I was and I was halfway through my bacon making him chuckle.

‘Hungry?’ he asked.

‘Starving,’ I said my mouth half full.

‘I take it I can read the paper then,’ he chuckled reaching out for it. I passed it to him and nodded watching as his gaze flicked over today’s headlines. I smiled watching him read. He looked calm and unworried for once. I sipped my coffee and continued watching him. Though this time he felt my gaze on him. He looked up with his brow furrowed, ‘what?’

‘Nothing,’ I said with a smile.

‘Hmmm,’ he said with a questioning eye which then fell back to the paper, ‘hey babe.’

‘Yeah?’ I said as I continued eating.

‘Why’s today’s date ring a bell?’ he asked.

‘Oh,’ I said, ‘we’ve got an appointment today.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah Doctor Mohan,’ I said waiting for the dots to connect in his mind. He seemed to be thinking about where he’d heard that name before but before he could say anything we heard footsteps thundering down the stairs. Steve’s gaze left mine looking through the kitchen entrance from which he could see the front door. I peered around too just in time to see Bucky yanking the door open and sprinting out.

Steve was up like a light his breakfast and newspaper soon forgotten as he grabbed his coat from where he had left it on the sofa. He turned for a second catching my eye and then he smiled at me sadly.

‘Doll,’ he said but I waved him off knowing it

was fruitless. He nodded and started to head out. As he slipped on his shoes by the door I called, ‘don’t forget Dr Mohan’s office at 2 pm!’

If he heard me or not I wasn’t sure. I slipped back in my chair in a huff. As I stared at my breakfast I realised I suddenly had no appetite. I got up somewhat angrily and scraped both plates into the trash. I threw the coffee cups and the plates into the sink and left them too angry to contemplate household chores. And then I headed upstairs, to start my day.

————————————————————————–

I got home later than usual that night. As I pulled into the driveway I could see Bucky sitting in his chair by the window watching the TV. I sighed as I parked and switched the engine off. I sat there for a moment not wanting to go inside. My heart was aching from today and I knew that what lay behind that door wasn’t going to be anything that helped it.

I stared at the garage door trying to muster the energy to climb out of the car and as I did my phone rang from where it was being kept in its hands-free holder.

STEVE flashed on the screen and I looked at it for a moment watching as the slide to answer button glinted begging for me to touch it. It rang a few times before it went back to my home screen the missed call joining the other notifications making it 6 missed calls in total.

With a sigh, I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car trudging into the house. Steve was standing in the kitchen, stirring something on the stovetop, and Bucky was still in his chair though they both looked up as I came in. I took off my coat and shoes and put them in their place slinging my bag onto the couch as I walked into the kitchen.

‘Evening,’ Steve said with an edge as I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine.

‘Evening,’ I said as I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured myself a large one.

‘You’re late back,’ he said as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

‘Am I?‘ I said taking a swig.

‘I rang you know,’ he said looking at me, ‘I saved you some dinner.’

‘I know,’ I said.

‘It’s your, wait, you know?’

The pair of us were quiet for a moment watching one another. We only looked up as the recliner chair squeaked shut and Bucky stood watching us from the lounge.

‘Erm, I think I’m going to head upstairs,’ he said. Steve nodded but I said nothing swigging my glass of wine once more. Once we heard Bucky’s door close upstairs Steve turned watching me again.

‘So you’ve been screening my calls?’ he said throwing the tea towel that was over his shoulder down on the counter and coming to sit down opposite me.

‘What would you rather I pretend I wasn’t?’ I said.

‘No,’ he said, ‘but some reason why wouldn’t go a miss.’

‘I was busy,’ I said simply.

‘Busy doing what? Something that makes you two…no three hours late for dinner?’ he said checking his watch. I couldn’t help but snort as he did so which made his jaw set as he looked at me angrily, ‘something I said?’

‘I just think it’s funny you have a problem with me being on time,’ I said. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and fell back against his chair looking at me, as he said, ‘look are you gonna whine about whatever or are you going to tell me what I did because I’m a loss here sweetheart.’

‘You missed our appointment,’ I said simply.

‘What appointment,’ he started but then his confusion switched to realisation, ‘Dr Mohan.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I said getting up and heading to the fridge to replenish my drink, ‘he let me wait 15 minutes before we realised you weren’t coming. Even kept popping out into the waiting room to make sure.’

‘Babe,’ he said standing up but I put my finger up to silence him.

‘Don’t, just don’t,’ I said turning around and placing my hands on the kitchen counter as I tried to hold myself together.

I felt Steve’s strong arms around me pulling me towards him. He spun me around and grabbed my chin tenderly but I pulled from his grasp though I stayed in his arms.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said I looked at him, ‘really I am. It just slipped my mind, Bucky-’

‘Needed you, yeah I know,’ I said pulling away from him.

‘He had a rough night,’ Steve said shortly, turning around so he could watch me.

‘Yeah I know,’ I said.

‘He was up half the night,’ he said, ‘he ran damn near 12 miles this morning trying to distract himself-’

‘I said I know.’

‘So why are you giving me such a hard time-’

‘Because it’s always something. Bucky needs this, Bucky needs that. And you’re there. Where does that leave me, Steve? You’re out there fixing everything I’m in bed alone. Or eating breakfast alone. Or in the doctor’s office for one of the most important appointments of our lives-’

‘We can rebook the damn appointment!’ he shouted.

We fell silent for a moment. I sniffed suddenly feeling a lump in my throat which I tried my best to ignore, ‘you don’t get it, do you? It’s not about the appointment. It’s not about being left alone. I love Bucky. I do…but you didn’t marry him. You married me. And sometimes, sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like that. It feels like I’m an afterthought.’

‘What do you want me to do Y/N? He’s my friend. My best friend,’ Steve said.

‘I know,’ I said walking forward and wrapping my hands around his waist, ‘I know and I know you think everything you do is for the best. You’re trying to help…but I need you to see that it isn’t helping everyone.’

He looked down at me with a sad smile as I pulled back a little kissing my fingertips and placing them on his cheek. His hand covered mine holding it to his face as his eyes closed.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered as his eyes opened and I nodded.

‘I know you are,’ I said slipping out of his grasp. He watched me as I grabbed my glass off of the counter and walked through the lounge grabbing my bag as I went as I reached the stairs I looked through and smiled at him weakly before walking upstairs.

‘Sorry,’ I thought, ‘yeah you always are.’

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withacapitalp · 1 year

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this got so long i'm sorry lol. that post about jonathan hurting steve just reminds me of my number one issue w steve and jonathan/nancy becoming closer which is that the onus is almost always placed on steve to make amends and take that first step w/little to no emphasis on that effort being reciprocated. like, steve apologizes to jonathan for everything in s1 (as he should) and saves his life twice. whether or not you think jonathan should apologize for how intense the fight got is up for debate (i would just like acknowledgement of how seriously he did/almost did hurt steve) but steve def deserves an apology for 1)the photos (which he never got - obv he broke the camera but then he also bought jonathan a new one all w no actual apology to steve on jonathan's part, it wasn't only nancy's privacy he invaded) 2) the fact that he slept w nancy knowing she and steve were still together (which he literally verbally acknowledges when nancy says she waited for him or w/e). that second one obv also goes for nancy bc she also doesn't apologize to steve for leading him on for a year while having feelings for someone else then cheating on him. this isn't me saying jancy are terrible ppl and entirely unsympathetic (nancy is obv v traumatized and struggling w barb's death tho this does not excuse the way she treated steve) but they both did some fucked up shit to steve that ppl rarely make them acknowledge or even feel bad for, which creates a v unbalanced dynamic imo.

Oh boy this did get long!!

So this might just be curating different fandom experiences, but I don't personally see a ton of Steve being the one who has to make amends in fandom or Jonathan and Nancy not having introspection on their pasts. In canon I totally see that though, and it's a lot. Like I think they're all just really human, which I love. They fuck up, and they mistrust, and they have to learn and grow into being close. It isn't automatic.

I think like.......here's my thought process. Apologies are nice. Apologies are good. The right thing to do is always to apologize if you feel like you've wronged someone.

But I also think Steve wouldn't accept it.

Okay I'm putting the rest under a read more because I'm going on a little meta rant on Steve Jonathan Nancy and why apologies are a complicated thing for them and ultimately not what any of them really need.

First Steve because he's my blorbo. Steve is a really interesting character. He has this veneer of extreme self confidence that hides a really soft core of a person that ultimately experiences a significant amount of rejection. He has this brittle exterior that's bitchy and snarky and gives as good as it gets, but things touch him in a deeper way that I think is easy for a lot of people to ignore. I could totally see Jonathan awkwardly trying to bring things up to maybe try and apologize only for Steve to be like nah man we're fine! It didn't work out no biggie, I'm aok, you guys work together and we didn't.

Steve is constantly searching for validation and love (Implied because his parents are neglectful or at the very least have an extremely bad marriage that would be enough to add layers to anything) I think that the bullshit conversation really impacted Steve in a significant way, but if he shared that, then he's leaving himself vulnerable to getting hurt again, so he would do everything in his power to truly make everyone think he's okay, even potentially making himself think he's okay too, when deep down he isn't.

I alsoooo don't really think that Nancy or Jonathan necessarily feel bad. If Steve is pushing so hard to say he isn't hurt, then eventually I could see them not thinking too hard on it. Jonathan because in canon they aren't really friends obviously (Which is a goddamn travesty by the way I wrote an entire series of fics because I hated that they weren't friends) and Nancy because Nancy is an extremely self focused person.

Not selfish. I think it's important to make the distinction between selfish and self-focused. I don't think she's intentionally doing things to hurt the people around her for her own gain, but she thinks about how things effect her and how things impact her first and foremost. Not even just with Steve, but with everyone. A good example of this is in season three when she cost Jonathan his job too with her sleuthing. Her boyfriend who is in a very bad financial situation at home and could have really used a job that actually pertained to his interests and might have lead to future relationships in his industry. She didn't feel bad about that, she was too focused on the injustice to her. Even something as simple as never knocking when he's in the dark room and ruining his pictures over and over.

She just doesn't think about other people, which makes sense! She's a teenager, she's a privileged person, and she's smart as all hell. She gets extremely focused on doing the 'right' thing (according to her rules and her mind because she knows she's smart and thinks she's the smartest in the room always) and she misses doing the best thing a lot of the time.

For Steve, someone who is clearly extremely not self focused-which is also not a great way to be because extremes never are- and Jonathan- Someone who has been forced to put his family first his entire life- that is always going to be a point of conflict in her relationships with them.

But I don't know if we've ever seen Nancy give a genuine apology in the show, and I honestly doubt we ever would. It's not in her character really. But! Regardless of all of that, apology isn't really the end goal. Saying your sorry shouldn't be the end of something. I would much rather see Nancy Steve and Jonathan grow into people with more empathy and ability to own up to their shit/call people out on their stuff in the future rather than rehashing their past again. Unfortunately I have a feeling season five is gonna be a lot of rehashing lmaoooo

#I actually have a WIP #That I was writing a lonnnnng ass time ago #with Nancy trying to apologize to Steve #not realizing she's kind of forcing him to hear her apology because she wants his forgiveness #not because she genuinely has remorse and wants to voice that #and Steve makes her stop apologizing to him by just saying okay I forgive you is that what you need to hear #and then she has a little oh fuck okay I really need to think on myself a bit moment #Steve harrington #Nancy wheeler #Jonathan byers #stoncy love triangle #character meta #st #stranger things #stranger things meta #anon #anonymous #ask #Liam speaks up

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