#Mentions of Infertility

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

I love your strories . Could you write a steve rogers x civilan reader angst maybe ? Where steve always puts reader in the back burner unintentionally . And after civil war bucky maybe stayed with steve . And as he's stressing about bucky he takes it out on the reader . Angst with fluff maybe . I'm sorry if it's too specific or weird .

AFTERTHOUGHT

Fandom: Marvel, MCU,

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Characters: Steve Rogers, Reader, You, Female

Word Count: 2017 // Rating: Teen & Up

Summary: Steve always does what’s best for Bucky

Tags/ Warnings: My Writing, Afterthought, Requested Fic, Steve’s kind of an ass, Steve and Bucky’s Friendship, Established Relationship, Love, Hugs, Fluff, Angst, PTSD, Trauma, Mentions of Infertility, Pregnancy Tests, Marriage, Marriage Problems, Afterthought, Requests, Careless, Steve, Fighting, Arguing, Rows, 

Notes: hope you like it

I frowned as my eyes fell on the little window of the plastic stick and I found the one line staring back at me. 

Negative. Again. 

I didn’t know why I got my hopes up. Maybe because this was the first month Steve and I had been together. Maybe it was because we had time to try or at least time to try properly. Steve and I had been married for nearly two years and both of us wanted a family. We kind of assumed it would happen naturally…but that was well over a year ago and still no positive test. I tried not to worry. I was busy and Steve was always here there and everywhere. In fact, the last few months had been crazy. But this month hadn’t. This month had almost seemed normal even if we did have an extra house guest/fugitive on our hands. I liked Bucky. And I loved Steve, so having his best friend come stay with us was a no-brainer. That didn’t mean it had been particularly easy. He was nice, he never complained, he was neat and tidy but he was just always…there. 

It didn’t help that Steve accommodated for everything. Bucky was having a bad day? It was Steve’s job to make him smile. Bucky was having a nightmare? Steve was out of bed like a shot sometimes even driving him around until he had shaken whatever horror was in his head away. Ironically it was as if we had a child already. And I understood why he acted like that. I just wish he’d widen his focus a little.

As I looked at the test again I could feel tears stinging my eyes but I refused to let myself be sad. Instead, I threw the test in the bin and washed my face hoping my morning routine would help distract me. By the time I got downstairs, Steve was already there cooking breakfast on the stove. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his front. I was almost a foot shorter than him but I didn’t care as my head fit snuggly in between his shoulder blades.

‘Morning,’ he said causing his chest to rattle against my ear. I smiled to myself the pain of this morning disappearing a little. 

‘Morning,’ I said pulling back as he started to turn around. He looped his hands around me as I placed mine against his chest smiling as he leaned down to give me a quick kiss. 

‘Sleep okay?’ he asked. I smiled and nodded as I replied, ‘you?’ 

‘Not really,’ he said his smile lessening a little, ‘Buck had a bad night…Tony.’

I nodded knowing not to push the matter further. Steve still felt guilty about everything that had gone down between him, Tony and Bucky. He also felt guilty about all the havoc it had caused between us. I pulled away and went to sit at the table as he went on cooking. I grabbed the morning paper which was something that I had come to like. I used to read all my news on my phone but Steve still like the feel of the morning paper in his hands and soon enough I had come to like it too. I skimmed through it. The headlines today weren’t overly cheerful and I didn’t really feel like reading it in case I put myself in a further bad mood. 

Only a minute later Steve placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me and then one in his place. He moved away for a minute pouring us both a cup of coffee and bringing it back to the table. He smiled as he sat down next to me. As soon as the plate hit the table I realised how hungry I was and I was halfway through my bacon making him chuckle.

‘Hungry?’ he asked. 

‘Starving,’ I said my mouth half full.

‘I take it I can read the paper then,’ he chuckled reaching out for it. I passed it to him and nodded watching as his gaze flicked over today’s headlines. I smiled watching him read. He looked calm and unworried for once. I sipped my coffee and continued watching him. Though this time he felt my gaze on him.  He looked up with his brow furrowed, ‘what?’

‘Nothing,’ I said with a smile.

‘Hmmm,’ he said with a questioning eye which then fell back to the paper, ‘hey babe.’

‘Yeah?’ I said as I continued eating.

‘Why’s today’s date ring a bell?’ he asked.

‘Oh,’ I said, ‘we’ve got an appointment today.’

‘Oh?’ 

‘Yeah Doctor Mohan,’ I said waiting for the dots to connect in his mind.  He seemed to be thinking about where he’d heard that name before but before he could say anything we heard footsteps thundering down the stairs. Steve’s gaze left mine looking through the kitchen entrance from which he could see the front door. I peered around too just in time to see Bucky yanking the door open and sprinting out. 

Steve was up like a light his breakfast and newspaper soon forgotten as he grabbed his coat from where he had left it on the sofa. He turned for a second catching my eye and then he smiled at me sadly.

‘Doll,’ he said but I waved him off knowing it 

was fruitless. He nodded and started to head out. As he slipped on his shoes by the door I called, ‘don’t forget Dr Mohan’s office at 2 pm!’

If he heard me or not I wasn’t sure. I slipped back in my chair in a huff. As I stared at my breakfast I realised I suddenly had no appetite. I got up somewhat angrily and scraped both plates into the trash. I threw the coffee cups and the plates into the sink and left them too angry to contemplate household chores. And then I headed upstairs, to start my day. 

————————————————————————–

I got home later than usual that night. As I pulled into the driveway I could see Bucky sitting in his chair by the window watching the TV. I sighed as I parked and switched the engine off. I sat there for a moment not wanting to go inside. My heart was aching from today and I knew that what lay behind that door wasn’t going to be anything that helped it. 

I stared at the garage door trying to muster the energy to climb out of the car and as I did my phone rang from where it was being kept in its hands-free holder. 

STEVE flashed on the screen and I looked at it for a moment watching as the slide to answer button glinted begging for me to touch it. It rang a few times before it went back to my home screen the missed call joining the other notifications making it 6 missed calls in total. 

With a sigh, I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car trudging into the house. Steve was standing in the kitchen, stirring something on the stovetop, and Bucky was still in his chair though they both looked up as I came in. I took off my coat and shoes and put them in their place slinging my bag onto the couch as I walked into the kitchen. 

‘Evening,’ Steve said with an edge as I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine.

‘Evening,’ I said as I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured myself a large one.

‘You’re late back,’ he said as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

‘Am I?‘ I said taking a swig.

‘I rang you know,’ he said looking at me, ‘I saved you some dinner.’ 

‘I know,’ I said.

‘It’s your, wait, you know?’

The pair of us were quiet for a moment watching one another. We only looked up as the recliner chair squeaked shut and Bucky stood watching us from the lounge. 

‘Erm, I think I’m going to head upstairs,’ he said. Steve nodded but I said nothing swigging my glass of wine once more. Once we heard Bucky’s door close upstairs Steve turned watching me again.

‘So you’ve been screening my calls?’ he said throwing the tea towel that was over his shoulder down on the counter and coming to sit down opposite me.

‘What would you rather I pretend I wasn’t?’ I said.

‘No,’ he said, ‘but some reason why wouldn’t go a miss.’

‘I was busy,’ I said simply.

‘Busy doing what? Something that makes you two…no three hours late for dinner?’ he said checking his watch. I couldn’t help but snort as he did so which made his jaw set as he looked at me angrily, ‘something I said?’

‘I just think it’s funny you have a problem with me being on time,’ I said. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and fell back against his chair looking at me, as he said, ‘look are you gonna whine about whatever or are you going to tell me what I did because I’m a loss here sweetheart.’

‘You missed our appointment,’ I said simply. 

‘What appointment,’ he started but then his confusion switched to realisation, ‘Dr Mohan.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I said getting up and heading to the fridge to replenish my drink, ‘he let me wait 15 minutes before we realised you weren’t coming. Even kept popping out into the waiting room to make sure.’

‘Babe,’ he said standing up but I put my finger up to silence him.

‘Don’t, just don’t,’ I said turning around and placing my hands on the kitchen counter as I tried to hold myself together.

I felt Steve’s strong arms around me pulling me towards him. He spun me around and grabbed my chin tenderly but I pulled from his grasp though I stayed in his arms.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said I looked at him, ‘really I am. It just slipped my mind, Bucky-’

‘Needed you, yeah I know,’ I said pulling away from him. 

‘He had a rough night,’ Steve said shortly, turning around so he could watch me.

‘Yeah I know,’ I said. 

‘He was up half the night,’ he said, ‘he ran damn near 12 miles this morning trying to distract himself-’

‘I said I know.’

‘So why are you giving me such a hard time-’ 

‘Because it’s always something. Bucky needs this, Bucky needs that. And you’re there. Where does that leave me, Steve? You’re out there fixing everything I’m in bed alone. Or eating breakfast alone. Or in the doctor’s office for one of the most important appointments of our lives-’

‘We can rebook the damn appointment!’ he shouted. 

We fell silent for a moment. I sniffed suddenly feeling a lump in my throat which I tried my best to ignore, ‘you don’t get it, do you? It’s not about the appointment. It’s not about being left alone. I love Bucky. I do…but you didn’t marry him. You married me. And sometimes, sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like that. It feels like I’m an afterthought.’

‘What do you want me to do Y/N? He’s my friend. My best friend,’ Steve said. 

‘I know,’ I said walking forward and wrapping my hands around his waist, ‘I know and I know you think everything you do is for the best. You’re trying to help…but I need you to see that it isn’t helping everyone.’

He looked down at me with a sad smile as I pulled back a little kissing my fingertips and placing them on his cheek. His hand covered mine holding it to his face as his eyes closed. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered as his eyes opened and I nodded.

‘I know you are,’ I said slipping out of his grasp. He watched me as I grabbed my glass off of the counter and walked through the lounge grabbing my bag as I went as I reached the stairs I looked through and smiled at him weakly before walking upstairs. 

‘Sorry,’ I thought, ‘yeah you always are.’

#My Writing #Afterthought #Requested Fic #Steve’s kind of an ass #Steve and Bucky’s Friendship #Established Relationship #Love #Hugs #Fluff #Angst #PTSD #Trauma #Mentions of Infertility #Pregnancy Tests #Marriage #Marriage Problems #Requests #Careless #Steve #Fighting #Arguing #Rows

[frownyalfred]

i was talking to my friend about asoh, particularly how kryptonian insemination is 100% fertile like,

"Bruce is probably infertile"

Clark's sperm: And I took that personally

PFFFT LITERALLY HOW IT WENT.

Bruce: well I’m not worried about the heat, after all these black market suppressants I’m definitely infertile

Lex:

#asks #anon #a sky of honey #a/b/o mention #a/b/o tw #mpreg mention #mpreg tw #infertility tw #infertility mention

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whump Prompt #1251

Submitted by Anon - thanks!

TW: infertility | nsfwhump | mentions of noncon

An AFAB whumpee really wants kids and has done for ages. Thus image the trauma when after being recused from their kidnapping, they discover they were made infertile from the torture Whumper inflicted - incidentally their dreams of starting a family are ripped apart from them.

Alternatively: AFAB Whumpee instead discovers they are pregnant post recuse - but to their horror it's Whumpers kid. Now Whumpee has to live with the fact Whumper has such control over Whumpee that they control their deepest desire.

#whump #writing #prompts #ideas #infertility tw #nsfwhump #mentions of noncon #noncon tw #trauma #torture #noncon body modification #rescue

[deathsbestgirl]

@alexmacc oh thank you!! this is a great question and i do want to preface it with i do not have any experience with infertility but i do have a lot of experience with illness & doctors. i think it's completely understandable to dislike this arc for any reason. and i'm sure the writers don't really know what they're talking about when it comes to science. but like. this is a sci-fi show and i'm not looking for accuracy. anyway, i personally kind of love it. i can't help but look at this show in "good faith." especially mulder & scully specifically.

(also!! there are spoilers that go into season 7&8)

to me, the foundation of the x files is mulder's trauma surrounding losing samantha but the journey of it is through scully's trauma. we experience hers in real time. and this one is deeply personal & relatable, like her cancer. not being able to have children is devastating, the language surrounding infertility is painful. (although i can never remember if infertility was clear at this point — when he found her ova, or in emily.) scully thought about having kids, at one point she didn't think she was cut out for it, it was a distant hope & possibility. i don't think she truly dreamt of having the typical family life beyond the way she sometimes tried to fit society's ideal, the way she had it drilled into throughout her life. but i think she always thought she would have kids eventually. she loves kids, i think she loved having siblings, she loves & values family. mulder's love & dedication to samantha is something that attracted her to him.

in memento mori, when mulder learns that scully's ova is taken from her...she's dying, going through treatment in the hospital that's making her sicker by the day. i don't think mulder could bear giving her that news, not after learning in home that she does want kids. not after her abduction, losing melissa, her cancer. so he waits. and then his hand is forced when scully finds emily and learns she's her biological daughter. scully's hurt that mulder didn't tell her, but i don't think she really faults him for it. she can barely handle the information now, learning it while she had cancer...i can't imagine it, idk how you carry that when you're dying. i don't know how you can fit that in your brain, in your grief when she's about to leave behind her family and mulder. in a way, it doesn't matter when you're dying, but she's never been able to face her abduction and she's being forced to. mulder tries to help her, encourages her to at least talk to the mufon women as an investigator if she can't handle it on a personal level. (the way her voice cracks several times in these conversations. when she says they're not all dead. scully doesn't want to believe she's dying either.) (she calls him first for a reason, she tells skinner with mulder at her side for a reason, she apologizes to skinner for making it awkward/uncomfortable...)

what makes me love it is that...mulder calls what happened to scully medical rape. he yells it at emily's doctor, demanding he help emily, rightly accusing him of malpractice, calling him & anyone involved medical rapists. and that's exactly what they are. they conduct these tests on people, steal women's ova, and use them & their children for more experiments. giving life to these children for the express purpose of experimenting on them, and ultimately killing them or letting them die. it's so sick & twisted & inhumane and you want to believe it unrealistic...but it isn't.

i just think that's really powerful. it's painfully real. it's something doctors & the government have done. and the x files so rarely calls things exactly what they are. mulder directly calling it medical rape — and once again, not forcing scully to confront it until she's ready & it's on her terms — this is a big reason i can't hate it.

i love mulder in emily. he walks into that room, sees scully with emily. sees scully's cross around her neck. he's terrified. he doesn't want scully to be hurt again, and he's afraid that's exactly what's in store for her. he knows emily wasn't born to be loved, to live. she's an experiment to this government conspiracy, a means to an end. but mulder will always do what scully asks of him, and he goes into that meeting determined to convince this judge scully deserves to be with her daughter. he lays out the facts he has, and the judge has a hard time believing it but emily is undeniably her biological daughter. the dna tests prove it.

the way mulder says everything is important too. there's no precedent for case like this. scully had her ova stolen, she can no longer have children. but somehow, unbeknownst to scully until now, emily exists. and scully wants her. it's wrong to keep them apart, to take this chance from scully, to deny this little girl a mother who loves her after she's lost the only parents she knows. scully found emily and she stayed and she fights. she learns about her illness, makes sure she gets the medical care she needs, and does everything she can to find & understand the cause so she can help her. they describe emily as having special needs because of her condition, her "illness."

scully is judged because she has an intense, time consuming, dangerous job. she hasn't had any recent long term serious relationships in the eyes of the law & adoption agency. she's single and how would she take care of emily on her own? at one point, mulder is mistaken for emily's father and he turns away. scully takes it on alone, but she isn't alone. mulder really is there every step of the way. he would do anything for scully, and he would do anything for emily. it's so painful that they can't have this. mulder finds a cure, supposedly anyway. but scully tells him she won't put emily through more tests & pain & experiments. emily wanted it all to stop, and her parents were killed because they were going to stop. scully was prepared to let emily go as peacefully & comfortably as she could. so mulder didn't tell her. another decision i don't think was easy. it wouldn't have ended. even if emily was cured, she wouldn't have been allowed to stay in scully's care. the reality of courts & the conspiracy.

in per manum, we learn scully went to doctors to treat her infertility. once she had her ova, she brought them to a doctor and in vitro might work. and she asks mulder to be her donor. another crazy, beautiful layer to their relationship. scully wouldn't want a random donor, and there's no one she loves more, trusts more than mulder. despite what he hid from her in a futile attempt to protect her. (again, i don't think she really faults him. she almost never does. it's just painful. painful that he would hide anything from her, especially something about herself. but they both know very well how scully struggles to face what's happened to her, and everything goes back to her abduction.) protecting each other is what they do, they just have different methods sometimes. and i don't think there's a way to know what's right until consequences smack you in the face. it's easy to objectively say something is wrong when you aren't the person dealing with the situation, or in hindsight. it's always more complicated when you're facing it in the moment.

like. i just can't hate it when it gives us so many incredible moments. the vulnerability, the gentleness, the compassion, the anger, the pain. it may all be wrapped up in an alien government conspiracy but the connection, the emotion, cancer & infertility, evil...it's all real. there's relief & catharsis, a freedom & safety. it gives a voice to things often buried. it's part of the beauty of the x files, to what mulder & scully do.

and then the reversal...well. i also love that but i'm gonna save it for my william arc post.

#the x files #infertility arc #mulder and scully #dana scully #fox mulder #mine #txf meta #if there's anything specific i didn't mention #feel free to ask!! #add your thoughts

[rickktish]

Today my mom and I finished the 90’s superman TV show Lois and Clark and it’s a really great series and I think every superman fan ever should watch it because Henry Cavill has nothing on Dean Cain, but that’s not actually what this post is about. This post is about the fact that in a pre-Superboy Jon Kent world, the central arc of Clark Kent’s character was that he wanted a family of his own, and this culminates in (spoilers) the last episode being centered on the question of what to do about having kids since Clark’s biology is not compatible with humans’ for making babies, and my anthropology major brain couldn’t not analyze this through a gender/sexuality lens since I took a class all about the cultural impact of gender and media portrayals of it.

Here’s the thing: in the vast majority of media (I almost said western media but then I thought about it more and I think it’s actually pretty darn universal) infertility is a female plotline. It’s one of the few plots that is inherently feminine in nature because for so much of history we’ve viewed infertility as a woman’s concern. If a man and a woman can’t have a child, after all, it must be something wrong with her, right? (Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s not funny, actually.) But this means that this silly little superman show from the 90’s is portraying an infertility plot line, but the problem isn’t the female character’s fertility, it’s her husband’s. Except that since fertility is an “inherently” feminine plot line, we get almost no emotional impact of this news on Clark himself. Lois, after all, is the one who spent the second to last episode going through the question of whether or not she’s ready to have children and deciding that she is. It could perhaps be argued that this is because Clark has been ready for a while, because a family is all that he wants, but I think it’s also because the question of a working woman choosing to have a child is, culturally speaking, a very different question to a man choosing to have a child, and has been since women became acceptable in the work place.

Here’s my point though: Clark gets the news that he can’t reproduce with Lois, goes to talk to her, and ends up holding her as she mourns this loss of something they were hoping for. She doesn’t comfort him, except by coming up with actions they can take to try to get around their incompatible biology. Lois is the one who gets to mourn, while Clark continues to emphasize that they will be okay no matter what because they love each other. And all I could think about watching this was how removed Clark was from his own fertility. How completely separated he was from it. Because in spite of the issue being his fertility and not hers, Lois is the one who gets to have an emotional arc about it, because she is the woman in the story.

One of the solutions they come up with is to ask Lois’s father, who (in rare fashion) is not a general but instead a handy-dandy generalized “scientist,” to see if there’s anything he can come up with for them. In order to do so, though, they need to reveal to him that Clark is Superman. The whole scene where they’re trying to figure out how to tell him feels a little bit queer, because I can see a modern writer turning everything from it into a trans reveal instead of a secret identity, but that’s a little beside the point. The point is that still, at no point does Clark seem distressed for himself, but instead for how Lois feels about all this— up to and including the point about her mother’s lack of maturity meaning that she doesn’t feel safe telling her they’re trying to have a baby or that they’re facing infertility.

And from all this, somehow all I can think of is how far we’ve culturally removed men from power over their own fertility. It feels like the only things that get discussed on the news or in shows, up to and including the abortion issue, is women’s fertility. We rarely talk about giving men education about and control over their fertility, only women. Women’s bodies, women’s rights, but what about the fact that the men don’t seem to be attached enough to their own fertility to know or even consider what they can do to control it for themselves? I actually wonder if the requirement (historical or present, depending on where you live) for women to get permission from their husbands to get their tubes tied has more to do with men’s fertility than with their wives’, because in some ways it seems that the only control a man is offered over his own fertility in our culture is by exerting control over his wife. There’s an alienation between men and their ability to procreate that honestly baffles me now that I’ve thought about it. It’s separated from them by their relationship with their partner’s body, and I wonder if somehow giving men more control over their own fertility, and educating them about it and how they can reclaim it from where it has been outsourced to another body, might be a positive step. I wonder if our cultural disconnect between fathers and children might take a few steps if men were taught to view their reproductive systems as more than just pleasure centers, as a part of their personal fertility.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, I think there’s more to be explored with this idea but I’m not fully prepared to go on the biological tangent with it yet so I think I’m going to leave it at that. I just. What would it take for men to reclaim their own fertility from where it has been culturally outsourced to women’s bodies?

#insert legally blonde joke here #something something masturbatory emissions as reckless abandonment #dc #superman #clark kent #lois lane #lois and clark #lois and clark tv show #clois #fertility #tw: abortion #abortion mention #tw fertility #discussion of fertility #tw sex mention #tw infertility #infertility #rick's originals #rick's rambles #anthropology #gender and sexuality

[mosneakers]

[🔉]

Dear Darling Agnes,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits. It has indeed been too long since our last exchange, and I hold our correspondence close to my heart. Your letters have a remarkable way of brightening even the darkest of days.

Though our paths differ in many ways, there's a particular story you shared, of weeping on the floor of your unfinished nursery after Erik's passing, that resonated with me deeply. As you know, Thornton and I have grappled with the heartache of infertility for quite some time, and your tale ignited a glimmer of hope within me. You mentioned your trip to Sunset Valley last Harvestfest, and it warmed my heart to hear you mention that you let little Mortimer be your babysitter of choice for a little while. Even if he did have help from his faithful playmate Bella, it appears that he's blossoming into a fine young man, and I'm sure he adores spending time with his Aunt Agnes and your darling daughters.

I was surprised to hear that Pauline Wan convinced you to accompany her to the Sunset Valley Country Club during your visit here. Had I known, I would've joined. Gossip indeed travels swiftly in such places, and you must have caught wind of the rumors surrounding my marriage. Sadly, they hold true; Thornton's fidelity has been compromised. We attempted to mend the first indiscretion, when a young woman (much too young for him, I dare say!) followed him home after one of his Saturday Afternoon whiskey escapades. Regrettably, it happened once more, this time with a blonde. I stood by the door, concealed in the shadows, and witnessed the entire heart-wrenching act. In that moment, I knew it was the final straw. While I may have retained ownership of this grand mansion as part of our divorce settlement, it feels like a hollow victory. What use is this opulent house when the one thing I've yearned for remains elusive?

But perhaps, dear Agnes, fortune may be favoring me at last. One melancholic afternoon, as I sought solace in painting by the lake, fate led me to an unexpected encounter with a pair of brothers, the Frios. Jared had noticed me first, and asked Connor, a man of few words and a preference for solitude, to strike up a conversation on his behalf. Little did we all anticipate that in the course of our conversation, Connor and I would discover a deep connection, and we began seeing each other shortly after.

He was reluctant at first, but Connor has warmed up to the idea and agreed to move into this vast estate with me, accompanied by his brother Jared. I realize it might seem hasty, Agnes, but my biological clock seems to be ticking ever louder, and I can't afford to let time slip through my fingers. Besides, this sprawling estate can be quite lonely and isolating, so it's comforting to have their company to fill its echoing halls.

I do love him, Agnes. He's a good, faithful man, and an exceptional and rather generous lover, I must admit. He'll make an excellent father too. With this grandiose labyrinth of a home at our disposal, we have all the resources to comfortably raise a child. I must confess, however, I often fantasize of escaping this life of opulence, and living a more modest life and living freely in a simpler town. Maybe one day a house next to yours will go up for sale and I'll leave this all behind. Wouldn't that be a dream?

In any case, Agnes, I long for your presence in my life and sincerely hope you'll visit when you're in town. I do miss you fiercely. How are the darling daughters? Is Gwendolyn making strides in potty-training? Has Persephone said her first word? I treasure our friendship and your inspiring stories. Your resilience and love for Erik and your two daughters give me hope, even in the darkest of times. Please write back soon, my dearest friend, and tell me how your life unfolds. -With all my love, Morgana Wolff

< Previous Next >

#ts4 #ts4 story #sims 4 #Many Moons Ago #Many Moons Ago: Gen 1 #MMA Gen 1: Ch. 15 #Morgana Wolff #Thornton Wolff #Connor Frio #Jared Frio #sensitive subject matter #infertility mentions

[nena-96]

Written for @corneliaavenue-ao3

The Tortured Potter’s Department fest

Tw: mentions infertility and past trauma

Word count: 2,465 read below or on ao3

She Can’t Do It, Without Him

Summary: Ginny’s usual midnight trip to the Room of Requirements gets interrupted when Harry makes himself known. Thus, causing a secret that tormented Ginny to come out into the light.

It’s been months since the Battle of Hogwarts and yet it feels as if it was just yesterday. Except it wasn’t how was it possible that even after all the repairs done to the castle, it still had this unwelcoming sense of agony and despair?

It was as if no amount of cleaning charms used to scrub the blood and grime from the stone walls, the pain would forever remain. Even if the glass windows were fixed, she could still remember when there were shards of glass all over the ground, from a deadly explosion, courtesy of a few Death Eaters.

Even though everything was ‘fixed’ it absolutely didn’t mean that everything was going to be the same again. Everything was different, nothing was ever going to be the same again. But that feeling changed when she visits the seventh floor, more specifically the Room of Requirements.

It was usually after curfew, when everyone was fast asleep, that’s when she would push the curtains from her four posters open and double-checking that her dormmates were indeed asleep. She didn’t want to bother giving anyone an explanation as to where she was going. It became her night time routine, no matter what, she always made her way to the seventh floor.

That was the only time she could pretend like everything was normal and just for a while she could believe that she wasn’t broken.

After making her way out the dorm, then sneaking out from the common room with the invisibility cloak that Harry had let her borrow, before she left got on the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of term. This made it easier for her to roam the halls without being detected by anyone, even though her posture suffered from all the times she had to crouch down to make sure the cloak covered all her body. Luckily, she hadn’t been caught and she plans to keep it that way.

Once she arrived, to the seventh floor, she took the cloak off and let it drop to the floor and waited to think of the place she wanted to immerse herself into. However something was off, it felt as if someone was watching her at this very moment, she could feel her heart start to beat faster than before. The tiny hairs on her arms stood up, yet, she wasn’t going to show an ounce of fear.

Whoever was behind her, should think twice before trying anything. She had survived multiple cruico’s from the Carrows, when their reign of terror in the castle was at an all time high. If she managed to survive an unforgivable, she will survive anything that crosses her path.

Ginny grabbed her wand tightly, just as beads of sweat began to form on her forehead. Whoever was there, better wish that Madam Pomfrey wasn’t off to bed at this time.

Quicker than a stunning spell, Ginny turned around and pointed the tip of her wand at the throat of….Harry?

No. It couldn’t be.

He wasn’t here, he had Auror training with Ron all the way until next week. This wasn’t Harry…..then why did this man have the same scar on his forehead? It looked like the same one she had traced so many times both with her fingers and her lips?

Even his hair was in the same state of disarray, and his green eyes…..that reminded her of fresh pickled toad. Yet, even with all the similarities, she couldn’t risk anything, she can practically hear the words that Mad-Eye would always say, ‘Constant Vigilance’.

“What tattoo did I say you had, when we were in the common room?” She asked, while waiting for the man in front of her to answer. One wrong answer and it’ll be all it takes for her to fire the hex that’s on the tip of her tongue.

“Hungarian Horntail! To be specific you said it was across my chest.” The reply came out quicker than ever, it was him and not someone else. Realization crept into her as she lowered her wand from Harry’s throat.

“What are you doing here, I thought you had training?” She asked him, once she placed her wand securely into the pocket of her robes. Not missing the way Harry rubbed at the spot where she had her wand pointed at his throat a few seconds ago.

“My schedule changed, and I sent you an owl but you never replied back. So I decided to come see see that you were fine.” Harry said his voice filled with concern. She didn’t like it, he didn’t need to worry about her anymore, there wasn’t a war going on.

“I’m fine, you may leave now if you want-”

“Oh, come off it! Don’t lie to me Ginny, I’m not going anywhere. In case you forgot I’m also friends with Hermione, and she mentioned in a letter to Ron that you weren’t fine.”

“Oh, it’s nice that my git, of a brother tells you everything.” She replied coolly.

“That isn’t true, look Ginny, he’s worried about you. We all are, please don’t do this-”

“Do what? I’m perfectly fine.” Ginny said before flashing him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Hopefully the obliviousness that Harry had kicked in so he wouldn’t notice the truth in her lies. She needed him to go, and live his life without her. Why couldn’t he understand how broken she was? Why now when she wants him to be the most oblivious git in the world, he is suddenly paying attention to every thing she does or doesn’t do.

“Don’t play me as a fool, I know something is wrong. I had this feeling ever since you stopped replying to my letters and refused to go with me to Hogsmead.” Harry said as he walked closer to her, she could feel the warmth from his body and smell the woodsy aftershave he had on.

Momentarily her senses were clouded by him, and that scared her to the core, she couldn’t afford for her senses to betray her by welcoming happiness into her life. Not when she deserves to fall into the abyss of loneliness and despair.

Which is why she turned her head away from him, trying to focus on anything other than the man who was in front of her. “I’m fine,” she gritted out, “There’s no need for you to have come all the way down here just to see how broken I am.” She cofessed, not realizing what she had spoken until it was too late. She saw the way Harry’s green eyes widened in shock before looking very confused.

Fuck, there was no way she could escape this. Dammit, why couldn’t they just pretend she didn’t say anything and go their separate ways?

Oh right, that was impossible because it’s Harry, the boy-who-lived-to-wreck-her-plans, it was never easy keeping things from him. It was only a matter of time before managed to make the truth spill out from her own mouth.

Silence filled the empty space between them, the only thing that could be heard in the corridor was the sounds of their breathing. That was until Harry broke the silence, “What do you mean by broken?” His voice was laced in worry, it made her internally squirm, she didn’t need his pity and the thought made her want to die.

“It’s nothing, I didn’t mean-“

“Stop, you don’t need to pretend that you can do this by yourself. You’re not alone Ginny, I’m your boyfriend so stop treating me like your bloody fool!”

”Not for long, you won’t be,” she muttered quietly.

“What did you just say?” Harry’s voice had become hard, his emotions erased completely.

She shook her head, and wiped at her eyes, not at all surprised at the tears that had begun to fall. Fine, if he wanted to know the truth then so be it, it wasn’t like she couldn’t do this with a broken heart, anyways.

Then again, what would be left of her heart once she tells him the truth?

“Gin, if you don’t say anything….I swear to Merlin-”

“I can’t have children.” She interrupts him, before she lost her nerve she continued with shaky breath, “Madam P-Pomfrey…after I visited her because of these awful cramps I’ve been getting. S-She had ran a few tests and told me that, from the effects of the cruico’s I s-sustained from the Carrows….I won’t-“ she choked off into a sob.

”W-What?” Harry said softly, Ginny just shook her head and whispered, ‘I’m so sorry’, before covering her face with both of her hands and letting her tears fall.

She couldn’t do this, why did it have to be this way?

”Ginny-“

Fuck, why did she have to be a failure?

”Gin-“

Why couldn’t she-

“Ginevra!”

Harry’s shouting had effectively pulled her from the thoughts that tormented her. Yet, she couldn’t face him….how could she look into the man she loves and further break his heart with the truth that she was broken-

“Please….look at me.” Harry said, as his calloused hands gently pulled her hands away from her face. Her eyes were closed tight, as she bite her bottom lip, wishing that maybe this was just a horrible dream and that none of this was real.

Except….it was real, nothing was going to change that.

”Love….please, open your eyes” Harry spoke once more, his voice laced with emotion it caused her to slowly will her eyes open. She had to blink away the tears that blurred her vision. She felt Harry bring wipe the tears from her cheek, and that’s when she noticed how his eyes…his beautiful green eyes were now red-rimmed. It was all because of-

“I need you to know….that no matter what I will always be there for you. You don’t have to go through this alone….you have me forever.” Harry spoke gently as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. She didn’t deserve this…not his pity, he needs to know that she wasn’t going to hold him back from starting his life even if it meant watching him be happy from the sidelines.

After all she can do this with a broken heart…..but she couldn’t live with herself by breaking his heart in the process. Which is why she pulls her hand away from him, and tries to ignore the coldness she feels.

”Don’t….don’t try to soothe me with beautiful lies, Harry when I know the reality isn’t pretty.” She said once her breathing slows down.

”I’m not lying,” Harry said quickly, and lifted up his hand to show her the scar that he had from Umbridge’s blood quill. “See this, it’s physical proof that I’m not bloody lying.”

”Harry…you deserve someone who-“

”Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say.” Harry interrupted her once more, “I want you to understand that I love you. I don’t care how many times I have to say this but it’s the truth, you are the only woman I’ve ever loved and will ever love. You are enough and I will never leave your side.”

”You don’t understand. This changes everything, don’t you see? I can’t give you what you want, not now possibly not ever and I-“

”You’re everything that I want!”

Ginny didn’t say anything, as she felt Harry grab her hand and place it over his shirt. She could feel the beating of his heart against her palm, as his green eyes stared into her brown eyes, with such intensity she almost looked away.

Almost.

”Now I’m going to speak and I would appreciate it, if you don’t say a word.” Harry nodded and held her hand tighter than before, all she could do was nod.

For a few minutes there was nothing but silence surrounding them. Neither of them moved, much less looked away from one another, that was until Harry briefly closed his eyes and shook his head.

”For longest time….I was alone, always thinking that I wouldn’t be capable of being loved by anyone. That maybe my life was destined to be hidden away in a cupboard, and away from the world.” Harry spoke, she felt him rub his thumb across her hand. It was as if, he was trying to stay anchored in this moment and not fall into his own past.

After a beat, Harry spoke again, this time he opened his eyes and looked directly into her eyes. It felt like he was looking into the depths of her soul, trying to make her understand.

”That was my future, to be alone. Until, I fell completely in love with a girl who accidentally placed her elbow into the butter dish, and who also wrote the most unique poem that I’ve ever heard before.” Harry winked at her, as he brought her closer to him.

“Fucking git.” She laughed through tears, it was then that she realized he was smiling at her.

”Ah, what did I say Miss Weasley? No talking, if I may recall. I suppose I’ll have to take some points off from Gryffindor in order to set things back in order.”

”Oh, really and tell me how can you do that if you don’t go to this school anymore?” She teased him, that’s when she realized how foolish she was in keeping him in the dark about this.

“Don’t tell anyone but I heard that McGonagall has a soft spot for me.”

”Does this mean I should be afraid that McGonagall is going to steal you away from me?” Ginny pulled her hand away from him and placed it over her chest like a dagger was pushed into her chest. “I didn't know you had a thing for older woman.”

”Oi! You know what, fine you caught me. It’s the biscuits that managed to make my heart swell up.”

She rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but laugh and it honestly felt so good. She hadn’t felt this carefree in such a long time it was insane, how Harry could manage to put her at ease.

It was then that she realized how foolish she was to ever think that Harry would feel differently towards her.

“Gin,” Harry said once they sobered up from laughing, “I love you and nothing will change that. You are one of the strongest and most beautiful women that I’ve ever seen in my life. I know you can do anything by yourself, hell you can do it with a broken heart and still manage to see things through. Except, you don’t have to…because you have me, and I will never let you go through this alone.”

#several sunlit daylights #hinny #Ginny Weasley #Harry Potter #Nena writes #angsty #tw mentions infertility #tw mentions past trauma #Ginny x Harry #Harry X Ginny

[inevitablemoment]

One Last Gift

Fandom: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid Pairing: Miss Holloway/Douglas "Duke" Keane

Six weeks after the Hatchetfield Honey Festival and two weeks after settling into her new identity as Miss Holliday, Miss Holloway learns that Duke has given her a gift that she thought she would never receive.

------

#One Last Gift #Holloduke #Holloweane #Nightmare Time #Nightmare Time 2 #Killer Track #Hatchetfield series #Hatchetfield saga #Hatchetfield universe #My Fics #Miss Holloway #Douglas “Duke” Keane #Duke Keane #Kim Whalen #Curt Mega #OTP: Watching The Fireworks #TW Pregnancy #TW Infertility Mention #TW Vomiting #StarKid #Team StarKid

[thewritetofreespeech]

Yaaayy requests are open !!

Can you write azashiro souya x fem!wife Reader . Azashiro is in reader mansion because she is the head of shihouin Clan.

He hates being here. Despite the vastness of its walls, he found the Shihōin estate stifling. As if with each breath those vast walls just came a little closer and closer, until they would eventually swallow him.

Urozakuro rattled at his side in her sheath. Azashiro’s hand had to come and stay her hilt to make her stop.

“Soya?” The captain turned his head to look at [Y/N]. Her gentle smile telling him that she hadn’t noticed his uncomfortableness, or his struggle with his Zanpakuto. That she was just happy to see him. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Life of the Shihōin head. You know.” No. He doesn’t. But in another life he might have, as the only son of the once great & proud Azashiro Clan. “Did the servants offer you anything? Goodness, what a terrible impression….”

“I didn’t want anything.” Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thought it was a trap. That the tea they offered him would be poisoned in some elaborate long came where the Seireitei assassins would finally destroy the Azashiro with the clever beguiling nature of its head.

“Hmmm…shall we head to the garden then?”

Azashiro nodded. Outside was best. Not better, but best. At least the open space would let him get air in his lungs. “How is your brother?”

“Captain Shihōin,” [Y/N] said with a playful sneer. “He’s fine. Wiping the Onmitsukidō into shape over his perceived abuse at having to take orders from a woman all his life.”

Urozakuro rattled louder. To the point that Azashiro had to wrap his whole fist around her hilt to silence her. “Children can be that way.”

Since [Y/N] had no interest in being a Shinigami, the traditional role of leading the 2nd had fallen to her brother. A decision that many regretted and urged her not to make, as she was notably stronger and more even tempered than her brother, but she told him once that it was not the work, she hated but the politics. He had to agree. Life was simpler in the 11th, where strength was the only measure of character.

Her horrible little brother was actually how they met. The clan heads, those of course not already seated in positions of power in the 13, attending one of the captains’ gathers to discuss safety and security in the Seireitei. A joke, Azashiro had thought, as the only ‘safety & security’ nobles cared about was their own power. His butchered family was testament to that. But…he had been moved by [Y/N]’s earnestness in the meeting. She genuinely seemed to care about people; and not just the people within their walls. Perhaps it was all an act, as he knew nobles were good at that too, but he had been taken in by her words and soon fell in love.

“Hopefully he’ll grow out of it one day. I mean, he has too, right?�� [Y/N] sighed. Then said in a low voice, “for the sake of his children I hope so….”

He had no children now, but would be expected to. To marry, and carry on the line, because, as luck would have it, their prized jewel was not only not interested in being a Shinigami but also barren. The Shihōin family seemed to have been cursed with a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful tragedy that would bring them into great prominence and then hand it off to sows of an idiot. Doomed, some said, but a boon for Azashiro. Since she could not extend the line, no one questioned their friendship and relationship as nothing of note could come from it.

[Y/N] sighed again and stretched her hands over her head. “Let’s get out of here.” Azashiro looked towards her in surprise. Or as surprised as he let his expressions be. “I know you don’t like it here. You play it off, but to a Shihōin’s sight you might as well be shouting it like you want to.”

The corner of Azashiro’s lips turned up. He should have known she had noticed. What a stupid thing to assume. “Places like this…bring back bad memories.”

“I know.” She of course knew about his family. He never spoke of it, but every noble family knew. “And I don’t want you to have bad memories with me. Only good ones.”

Her fingers laced with his and he suddenly felt as some of the Shihōin palace weight had come off his shoulders. Funny, how the person who’s walls now stood for made him feel more at ease.

They leave and head for the country side via Hoho, and spend the afternoon in the fresh air and the sun. He could finally breath and let his hair down; metaphorically as he would never actually take his hair down in front of a lady.

Their relationship was complicated, with his past and her future, but he was content in the way that it worked and found peace in it.

Peace, unfortunately, was not something he was used to. Azashiro wondered how long it would last.

#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers) #bleach scenarios #bleach #bleach imagines #soya azashiro #soya azashiro x reader #bleach x reader #bleach: spirits are forever with you #bleach spirits are forever with you #Shihoin clan #female reader #tw: mentions of infertility #scenarios #imagine

[orthopoogle]

I get that this is r/childfree and thus guaranteed to be filled with insanity, but this person actually voiced an opinion I’ve seen others who don’t inherently hate children voice, too.

Why is it that when fertile people get pregnant and have babies, it’s treated as a wonderful miracle and all, but when an infertile woman wants to get pregnant and have a baby of her own just like everyone else, she’s suddenly viewed as selfish and “overly obsessed” with the idea of having a birth child? Like I just don’t think it’s a hard concept to grasp that humans are biologically hardwired to want to pass our genes on to the next generation, and people who can’t automatically conceive naturally aren’t inherently selfish for wanting to create a baby instead of adopt. No one hassles a “normal” couple for not adopting when they’re all, “We’re trying for a baby!” so why are infertile folks treated differently on the subject?

#not to mention the whole separate conversation about how adoption in and of itself is not a cure for infertility

[minthara]

name a more iconic duo than the internet and insulting women who want children

#petra.txt #its tiring boss #to add to it I will never understand the problem ppl have with Miranda's infertility and her disappointment over it #its mentioned in one dlc like... she never even talks abt it #I wish she would talk abt it?? I know women who have never wanted children in my life but were still so so disappointed and sad #when they found out they were infertile #+ the constant negativity abt Minthara's cut content like. you'd really rather have all her content cut than her being pregnant huh

[mrsbsmooth]

This is so dumb but it's a headcanon that's been on my mind for ages.

Basically we know Lucas doesn't want kids, but I just can't get over the thought of him finding out his gf is pregnant, wanting NOTHING to do with it, trying to throw money at the problem to make it go away, etc. But then when he sees his baby he just.... boom. Head over heels.

SO ANYWAY I WROTE IT.

I smashed this out in a single sitting over a few hours, so please don't be too harsh, it's probably full of waffle and mistakes and broken metaphors, but I just needed to get it down.

Enjoy :)

He had to know

Read now on Ao3

#litg s2 #litg lucas #pregnancy #Dad!Lucas #cute #tw mentions of abortion and infertility #lucas koh

[singofsolace]

Thoughts on... syphilis? (I have a valid point to make, I swear)

So, if Elias Woodstone showed up to his wedding "late, drunk, and smelling of the maid's perfume," does that mean that his relationship with Molly (if you can call it that, when Molly couldn't afford to risk losing her job by refusing Elias) predated his marriage to Hetty? Of course, it could've been a different maid, but for arguments' sake, if the maid he had sex with on his wedding day was the same maid he continued to have an affair with throughout their marriage, that actually implies a number of other consequences, presuming that Molly had only been with her late husband prior to Elias pursuing her.

Namely: if Elias slept with Molly on their wedding day, and Molly was the one who gave Elias syphilis, then doesn't that mean Hetty was also infected with syphilis, from the very beginning of their marriage...?

Originally I had hoped that Hetty and Elias had already had their children and grown to largely live their lives apart from one another by the time Elias cheated on her with Molly and contracted syphilis, but if he slept with the maid (notice Hetty said "the" maid, not "a maid" or "one of" the maids, implying there was only one: Molly) on their wedding day... wow. That's... that's a lot to take in. Especially because syphilis is known to cause infertility, miscarriages, and stillborn children. That's a whole lot of potentially traumatic history related to the fact that Elias was unfaithful and may very well have knowingly infected his wife.

I maintain that they never should've made Hetty forgive Elias, even to save Pete's soul. Let the woman hate him, for goodness sake. He deserves it.

#hetty woodstone #elias woodstone #I hate him your honor #infertility mention #miscarriage mention

[renee561]

42. And... 26?

42. Mermaid Au

You have hit a stone unto yet another Sense and Sensibility au! LOL.

It is a little mermaid fusion au focusing on Elinor and Marianne and Marianne's desire to be with humans. Elinor is along for the ride because who else is going to help her sister?

I'm also designing some art for this one! So I'm very excited!!

26. Fluff or Lucky, Perhaps

So this was for @omghost for a Christmas gift...an au in my Harry is a Ravenclaw hp universe that focuses on family time.

Can be read in the link above.

There are warnings of infertility, but it mostly focuses on peace before the storm.

#renee answers #yet another Sense and Sensibility au #little mermaid fusion #harry potter #infertility mention.

[une-sanz-pluis]

Reading this post about Anne Boleyn, made me think about Eleanor Cobham and her childlessness.

We don't know anything about Eleanor's childlessness beyond the fact of it. We don't know if she had pregnancies that ended in miscarriage or stillbirth or whether she was unable to conceive. But the possible impact on her mental health tends not to be even considered, let alone mentioned. In fact, her attempted defence at her trial for witchcraft - that she had only used "magic" in attempt to conceive her husband's child - has been over-interpreted by some historians (e.g. Lauren Johnson, Robert Bartlett) as a type of threat or an admission of treason. She wanted to have a baby because her son would replace Henry VI and she'd be the ~mother of kings!

Which is just bizarre. There are many reasons she could have wanted a child - and note that she did not specifically state she wanted a son but a child - but both Johnson and Bartlett reduce her to the cold-hearted scheming vixen only wants a son so she can rule through him. Also, like, Eleanor was literally the only woman alive in 1441 who could provide the Lancastrian dynasty with a clear-cut heir.

We know the succession became a point of anxiety not too long after Eleanor's downfall and while we can't explicitly trace it back to Eleanor's time as Duchess of Gloucester, it does stand to reason that she would have been aware of how fragile the Lancastrian dynasty was. Henry VI was four years away from marrying himself and twelve years away from having his only son (which, of course, Eleanor couldn't have known about). He was the only child of his father and had no brothers who could inherit the throne, while all of his paternal uncles except Humphrey had died without legitimate issue by 1435. Humphrey himself had no legitimate children. The succession after Humphrey was confused, with at least three possible claimants. Eleanor, as Humphrey's wife, was likely very well aware of how fragile the succession was and was the only woman at that time who could give birth to an heir. Yes, any child might be Henry's "replacement" and she would become the mother of the next monarch but that's how a heredity monarchy works. Maybe people should read less of the Philippa Gregory-style of historical fiction.

And that's not going into the culture of primogeniture or the idea that a woman's worth as a wife was often closely tied to the production of an heir. There are studies that talk about the stigma of involuntarily childless on modern women today, who have the benefit of feminist movements and not living in a culture based explicitly and totally in primogeniture.

Nor does it go into the fact that that having a child could have had an legitimising affect on Eleanor's controversial marriage and status, providing her with security. Nor does it discuss the emotional affect of suffering miscarriages and stillbirths - admittedly, we don't know that Eleanor suffered from these but there doesn't seem to much evidence around miscarriages and stillbirths in late medieval England and so we can't rule out the possibility this was part of her experience.

It's all too easy, when we put aside the scheming vixen image, to imagine Eleanor's fear, distress, desperation and anxiety over her childlessness. Even if she was a scheming vixen, as Johnson and Bartlett would have it, it still would have had a large impact on her. It would have influenced the way she behaved - perhaps the motif of her disastrous pride and ambition came from an desire to emphasis her status as a way of taking refuge from her inability to have a child. Although I'm yet to find contemporary allegations that supports the not-uncommon idea Eleanor was greedy and grasping, perhaps she was in order to build up a stockpile of wealth that she could use to support herself if her marriage to Humphrey was annulled or her dower seized after his death. We might also consider that she turned to magic/witchcraft in desperation to have a child or at least in attempt to know what awaited her.

#eleanor cobham #blog #tw involuntarily childlessness #tw infertility #tw miscarriage mention #tw stillbirth mention

[primus-why]

Sad Idea (tw: infertility mention)

Okay but what if when Orion got reformatted into Optimus, the Matrix gave him The Ideal Body To Go To War With? Like, it cut out unnecessary parts of his past self-- not just emotionally, but physically as well...

What I'm trying to get at: what if one day, the topic of sparklings come up. Maybe the humans they've been hanging around asked about the various ways a new Cybertronian comes to exist. Maybe the war is over, and someone innocently asks Optimus if he has ever considered being a creator.

Optimus might politely wave off the idea, citing he's too busy as Prime to give the care and attention deserved by a sparkling. But in private... or maybe even to just his amica/ a close friend or two... he admits that he did once want to be a creator, however, that's no longer in the cards for him...

... because the Matrix didn't deem a gestation chamber a necessary asset for a Prime at war.

#sad idea #Optimus Prime #do i tag as valveplug even tho it's not really sexual? hm... #fuzz writes #tw infertility #basically the matrix trades in civilian life for more weapons #and it's ONE thing to have someone who doesn't want sparklings to have a gestation chamber removed... #but in the case Orion had no agency in the matter. #tho truth be told... whole he mourned the loss he also had to face the harsh reality... #that he couldn't possibly provide a happy and healthy life for a sparkling while their people are at war. #whats more... the gestation period would put him out of comission. not to mention the energy consumption. #he can't afford that when they can barely fuel themselves as it is. #plus the sparkling would be defenseless for many years. it would be a liability. a weakness for the Decepticons to exploit. #Optimus hates that his choice was taken from him... but hates the idea of bringing a being into this harsh world even more. #this is made extra tragic if you think about the question arising AFTER the war. #everyone is like ''Optimus! you have such a warm personality and caring temperament! i'm surprised you haven't become a creator!'' #and he's just like ''ah.... yes.... well....''