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#They're a real jerk
zerger33 · 9 months
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In case you're wondering about the inspiration for some of my stories, (Specifically Violet), here is my Ninetales, Gracia. She belonged to my grandmother, given to her by her grandmother, etc. She's 900ish, and she's an asshole who steals my credit card to order herself doorapidash. I'd stop her, but the last time I tried, I ended up in a fever dream for a month. She's a jerk. I love her for it, though.
(Art made by @realpokemon! Thank you for making this for me!)
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snackugaki · 1 year
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hahahhahahahahahhhhahhhaa you know how in my last post I said I have insomnia and the impulse control of a local park’s naughty resident raccoon that digs in the dumpster at 4am?
that metaphorical raccoon also has rabies and has snorted a line of of the purest uncut cocaine and is currently the apex scavenger on the metaphorical continent
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ambassadorquark · 4 months
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senshi randomly materializing in someone else's private conversation to deliver a homespun metaphor about how cooking really is just like life. i love him
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mmmthornton · 1 year
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Stan when any of his guy friends don't pay attention to him for five minutes: uwu i'm just a sad wittle boy 😢
Stan when his girlfriend wants his attention or any kind of communication whatsoever: um okay 😒 needy b*tch
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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months
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billions(tm): it's incredible how we just provide a little snippet of material designed to be "guy we all want to push down the stairs immediately somehow" and through this amazing acting alchemy it becomes gold. electric. magnificent. we can't get enough so we will just keep writing this loser character and the actor will somehow keep bringing the dazzling transmutation through his ability
actor will roland: [is aware autistic people are real]
#this is at least half humorous in several ways lmao but also like fr...#winston billions#will roland has pretty much said he is aware that autistic people real. and not [ppl's utterly off the walls assumptions abt what Defines#Autism or what an Autistic Person is like and how you would Know]#i don't think that Billions(tm) would be very much better at that than re: say; taylor's being nonbinary (surprisingly alright yet. u kno)#quant kid 2 could've been anyone but writing Winston is like so certainly the common deal of the inadvertently autistic character#drawing from all the autistic people allistic ppl encounter all thee time without being aware & deciding they're annoying / jerks / too#weird to live too pathetic to die / grating nerds / Funnily Odd in a way you deign to merely raise an eyebrow or scrunch your face at....#so on so forth. ''oh you know Those People we all know who are just Like That''#and deciding they must be ''just like that'' b/c they're either too arrogantly rude &/or clueless / Unaware to be neurotypically superior#also do not get me wrong lmao big old proponent of Did You Know That? Actors Act. Now You Know#so of course yes will's acting is off the shits i mean here i am am i right. and he is using it when he is acting.#the acting talent Is off the shits. the tiniest moments they give him & he CRUSHES KILLS it really is amazing i'm not waving it off at all#cue twitter randos so betrayed when kelly aucoin is not dollar bill & is like ''yes in my acting job i'm playing this fuckin asshole''#meanwhile i'm still following the interviewer who a) asked will anything abt billions b) talked abt the immediate striking intro of will's#as quant kid 2 And the immediate draw of / effervescent dynamic between winston & taylor. Someone Who Gets It#anyway it's like will can fathom that actually the people who are Always ''acting wrong'' w/their bad grating vibes no matter what they do#are not always Those People(tm) who We all know & loathe right....thee magic of knowing winston can be someone fully earnest#and of course always actually trying; & having perfectly comprehensible wants & needs. damn how's he doing that#bringing a certain je ne sais quoi to this Insufferable Loser Nerd material! so we don't mess with the process.#i.e. we will only ever let his role get dunked on forever b/c sure can't fathom anything else anyways. our Correct characters could never..#only tuk; adjacent in wrong nerd loserdom; can be his friend. rian who is correct but zany with it can be his abusive friend
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bogunicorn · 2 years
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that one post going around blaming people for "liking" posts without reblogging them for "upsetting artists and writers" or whatever and presenting That One Artist Who Reblogs the Post 20 Times a Day as a sympathetic person we've all collectively made miserable, my be-loathed.
every time i see another "if you LIKE a post without reblogging, you're making artists miserable and driving them to depression and they'll leave and you're why we can't have nice things" post, i put off loading and tagging my queue another day and the fewer pieces of artwork i interact with in general.
you can explain how tumblr works and encourage people to reblog things without being a fucking dick about it.
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hella1975 · 2 years
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some people in the catering industry are so STUPID okay so where i work usually has two or three KPs on at a time bc it's quite big and the job of the waiting staff when clearing tables is literally just to bring it to the kitchen and leave it on the counter for the KPs to wash up. now you're supposed to put the cutlery in a bucket and scrape all the food off the plates bc that's just the decent thing to do but a lot of the staff literally just DUMP it bc there's a real snobbery thing about KPs and how waiting staff generally think they're better. now there's one woman who does the potwash a lot and ive been friendly to her since the beginning - no ulterior motive it's just the decent thing to do???? i dont understand some people - AND THE THING ABOUT MY JOB IS THAT THE KPS ARE USUALLY TRAINED ON DESSERTS TOO SO THEY MAKE THE DESSERTS anyway found out this woman my bsf had fucked up one of her desserts and she HID IT and waited for ME SPECIFICALLY and i got a free brownie
#like there are so many benefits to being nice and treating human beings like human beings#one is that it is a nice thing to do and being a jerk will make you feel all gross inside#and another is that THEY WILL BE NICE TO YOU IN RETURN#primary school level social skills and yet so many of the staff who are OLDER THAN me#treat this poor woman like dirt#i love her she's so chatty and she really likes me now which is kind of sad bc literally all i did was talk normally to her#like i say hi to her and ask her how her day is and i asked her name when i first started#and i thank her when she takes the plates#it's basic shit it's nothing i need a fucking medal for#BUT she's kinda petty in a really funny way (like not letting any of the other waitresses have the brownie then giving it me IN FRONT OF#THE OTHERS SKDGHKSHD)#like one time there was a queue in the kitchen bc a load of tables left at the same time so we all had plates that needing washin#*washing#and this woman IGNORED the other three girls in front of me and started a convo with me over their heads LMAO#i was like bestie you CANT DO THAT KSHGDKJHG#i love her and the brownie was fucking stunning#also the same way the waiting/bar staff have a real comradery against the kitchen staff when they're being dicks#the KITCHEN staff are renowned everywhere you go for being very cliquey#like you know how everyone always slates chefs? yeah now imagine a group of them who think it's a ride or die environment#and ive been pretty intimidated by the chefs here just bc they're so cliquey and they're not really interested in being friends with#the waitresses like they're there for their own people and nothing else#BUT bc im chummy with this one KP now SHE is one of the kitchen staff and like i said they're very protective of their own#SO NOW THEY ALL LIKE ME LMAO#finessed the system on accident purely by being a nice person#shocking truly! how has no one realised this! when you are nice your life is easier and better! wow!#hella slaves to capitalism
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chomesuke · 2 years
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misandry isn't real. men are not oppressed for being men. reverse oppression doesn't exist
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mejomonster · 1 year
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i’m not good with words so i probably won’t describe it right. but the black/white mentality online sometimes of things with any flaws being ‘pure evil/need to be destroyed’ and expecting the alternative to be whatever arbitrary things the person decided are ‘perfectly healthy’... does not do anyone good.
i mean yes, we could go into it being an extension of purity culture, of conservatism mindset etc but like. at an even more basic level, especially because online spaces have a lot of younger people:
its really bad to view YOURSELF that way. and when you’re viewing even things way outside you that way, you might be viewing yourself that way. that relationship in X novel is bad because person 1 didn’t communicate right away, and even if they learn and improve through the novel you’ve already decided they’re “too flawed”, or maybe the person 1 never fully improves since its a novel and ‘awful’ to ‘moderately decent at relationships’ is the arc instead of moderately decent to ‘perfect.’ 
But my point is, about yourself: no one is perfect. You will NEVER be perfect. Please don’t hold yourself to the expectation you MUST BE PERFECT and anything less makes you pure evil/irredeemable/awful and unworthy of being treated fairly. The best anyone can do in this life, is try their best, notice when they do happen to mess up or someone lets them know they have, and practice trying to do better next time. You can improve yourself for a lifetime, for decades go to therapy and do all the right exercises and work on yourself every time you slip up even a little AND give yourself breaks so you don’t work yourself to death being overly critical of yourself nonstop... and still by your death you won’t be perfect. 
When I see people get very intensely angry about fiction being imperfect, about wanting it ‘perfect,’ it makes me worry maybe they can’t take and accept their own imperfections. That they see themselves as pure good or evil too, and either naively think of themselves as “perfect” which leads to ignoring when you do actually harm others or yourself (which will happen sometimes), or think of themselves already as irredeemably bad and never able to fix it (since any imperfection even if working on it is “not good enough” according to such a thought process). And that’s an awful way to live. You need to be able to care for yourself NOW, think you’re worthy of respect and fairness NOW, think others critiques of you can be put to constructive use so you can grow, think of yourself as the sum of all the years of growing and improving you ALREADY DID and how that’s a wonderful amazing thing you’ve accomplished! 
This purity culture idea just seems like its very prone to making the people sucked into it self hate because humans just never can be fully perfect, or sucked into never improving and growing and rejecting times they maybe should for their own wellbeing because admitting they have any flaws makes them forever ‘awful.’ That’s not true. You’re not inherently bad, period. You’re not bad for having flaws, you’re normal and human and alive. It’s okay to have flaws, its okay to gradually work on them because humans can only improve so much at a time, its okay to realize 2 decades later that oh you still have this negative thing you do and then maybe work on it then. The reality is we will never be perfect, we will still find our share of some kinds of flaws when we’re very old and about to die, and we need to be able to accept ourselves and appreciate the progress we constantly make and recognize we are valuable and inherently okay as people even when there are still flaws or new flaws come up. 
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sleepyhurts · 1 month
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if i were a guy i would easily have also been part of a jerk off circle in high school with all my friends, like idk im easy to peer pressure when its something i wanna do. like oh? all my hot friends are about to jerk off together and they want me to join so we can see who busts first?? don't gotta tell me twice im there :)
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 7 months
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Despite Danny's best efforts, no matter how much time past, Amity Park refused to see Phantom as a hero.
Sure, there were pockets of support, particularly among teens, but most of the town blames Phantom for the property damage, saying if he didn't fight the ghosts then it wouldn't be so bad, to that time he got mind controlled by Freakshow and "attacked" the mayor. It wears him down. It wears Tucker and Sam down. Jazz can only try to support them all.
Then one day, a member of the Justice League visits. Someone minor, and kinda a jerk... maybe a Wonder Twin? Zan? Whatever. They don't investigate; they don't look deeper. They listen to the town folks and declare the ghost hunters, Red Huntress and the Fentons, to be the official heroes of the town.
Worse? Danny Phantom is officially considered a villain to the Justice League. Tuck hacks into the Watchtower and confirms that they have a file (a heavily inaccurate file) about how to defeat Phantom.
Danny doesn't think he can do this anymore.
A few weeks later, a young villain escapes into Amity and demands (begs) that Danny help them escape from the hero after them. No idea who, I can't find a lot of info on teen villains in DC, so let's fudge some ages and make it Kyd Wyckyd from the Teen Titans cartoon. Danny agrees, because to hell with the Justice Losers, and they defeat the hero, becoming friends in the process. Kyd confesses that they became a villain after being ostracized bc of how they look, and they've been trying to avoid villain organizations because HIVE was abusive, but it's really hard to be a villain alone bc of all the heroes.
Sam gets an idea. Tucker agrees with the idea. Jazz is just happy they'll end up making friends.
The next day, the Teen Villain Alliance is formed, ready to assist with any teenage illegal shenanigans their allies might get into.
Some notes:
It's created to be a healthier option for teen "villains" to connect with others and support each other.
It's more important that this is for Teens rather than Villains. They're tired of adult villains taking advantage of them. The TVA would rather ally with a teen vigilante than with an adult villain.
Again, no idea who the teen villains are, but Klarion is definitely here. He leaves the Light for the chaos of the TVA. Maybe Ember is there too?
Timeline wise, this is around when Tim is still Robin, but Damien has arrived at Wayne Manor.
This is because, when it comes time to try to infiltrate the TVA, they'll have a convenient child-assassin who has none of the monitors of a teen hero that Phantom immediately picks up on.
Damien, who at this point has been abandoned by his mother, dismissed and scolded by his father, and has had no success at carving his own place in the family, jumps at the chance. He is then surrounded by peers who don't insult him or try to change his behavior (too much; jazz is trying to help him find healthier methods of expressing himself). He... might not want to continue being a spy.
Danny, Sam, Tuck, and Jazz are the founding members.
Danny reinvents himself as the High Prince of the Infinite, Prince Phantom Dark. He got kingship from fighting Pariah Dark, but since he's still alive, he's only a prince. He steals the last name Dark as an intimidation tatic against those in the know; only Danny would have the balls to claim family with Pariah.
Sam works as a powerless villain, but she might no be powerless? Either way, Danny gives her a bunch of repurposed Fenton tech, and she buys the rest with her parents credit card. She does NOT care if that's traced back to the Mansons. She would choose something goth, maybe something spider related or even bat?
I love Pharaoh Tucker, so I think he should get magic powers? Since pharaohs of old were considered the balance between the real and the divine. He's still a tech guy, now he's a tech and magic guy.
Jazz isn't really a villain, more of a team mom who's planning on using everyone's psyche's as her thesis paper. You know what, that's her callsign, she's Psyche. Sometimes she flirts with Nightwing.
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alastorss · 3 months
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⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Alastor's antlers are embarrassingly, pathetically, unbearably sensitive.
He can't for the life of him figure out why—it's not like any of the other transfigured creatures wandering around the underworld were made this way. Most other animal-like sinners don't seem to care about or even acknowledge their characteristics.
Yet here he is, purposefully hiding them away just so that no one will discover his terrible weakness. Oh, what he would give to be like the others if only to ignore their incessantly uncomfortable presence on his head.
Perhaps it was a curse from heaven that made him this way, or karma that he was repaying from his life. Either way, he can't stand being touched.
At least, that's what he thought.
There's no malicious intent behind your hands, no glint in your eye that makes the primal instincts in his head scream at him to melt into the shadows. You're as gentle as can be, fingers running delicately along the intricacies of his antlers and stopping just at the ends of them.
"They're beautiful," you whisper with your eyes blown wide. Your shoulders rise and fall with each rapid breath, probably from the adrenaline of standing so close to an Overlord like this. And Alastor, no less.
Your reliable hotelier. Your first real friend in the hotel. The one whose smile cannot be trusted.
But for some reason, you can't shake the feeling that he's looking at you with pure, genuine appreciation even if his smile is a little wonky.
"Why, thank you, darling!"
He jerks away from you quick as the wind, standing tall once again and towering over you. His expression has morphed into something more strained—you can tell by the way his face creases up as his eyes narrow.
He was the one who decided to invade your personal space while the two of you were arguing. He just didn't think that you would be so bold as to get distracted by his antlers and have the gall to reach out to touch them.
The worst part? The absolute worst part of it all is that no one in all the time he's been in Hell has been gentle with him like that.
Add that to the list of things he despises. Or likes. You're confusing him now.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
You have some nerve, he thinks.
Your hands have found a new home resting atop his head, with your fingers combing through his hair and tracing up and down the curve of his antlers.
It becomes a nightly routine—him on the barstool or sitting in front of the piano and you standing behind him with your fingers tangled in his hair and your chin on his head, perched right between the horns. Others in the hotel have started to raise a brow, but you don't seem to care.
So when you finally decide to break routine, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from him, his eye twitches.
There isn't even an audience tonight, everyone else already tucked into bed save for Husk behind the bar who's too busy with a bottle to care. The silence between you is heavy as lead.
"Is something the matter?" Alastor finally abruptly asks, eyes narrowed at you from the side. You shift uncomfortably.
"Why would something be the matter?"
He's not in the mood for games right now. "This is the first time you've sat away from me in months," he observes.
You look at him, surprised by his hostility over this. "Well, Lucifer told me that you don't like—"
"Lucifer," he interrupts, head now whipping to the side so he can fully glare at you. "Knows nothing."
You blink at him, stunned. With the way he's acting, he almost seems... annoyed that you've decided to stop being so handsy?
Silence overcomes you again as you just stare at each other, completely at a loss of words. Alastor finally realizes his snappiness and composes himself once more, exhaling through his teeth.
His smile softens at you, missing its usual edge. You know him like this the best—head in your lap and antlers exposed. It's familiar to you in a way that it could never be to anyone else. At least, you hope that's true.
"He knows nothing," the radio demon says one more time for good measure, eyes drifting shut under the weight of your hands.
Alastor has never liked to be touched before. But maybe there is a first time for everything, and maybe the safety of your touch brings him enough ease that you're the first he admits he can tolerate.
His smile says it all. He's content like this, even if he would deny it with his chest if you ever told anyone else.
"Okay," you breathe. "I believe you."
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imw atcing this film about an autistic lil boy and his mum just said 'can't u be normal for just one second' and i
im not ok with that actually??? these parents are. not great
overall, NOT what i expected of a film called 'come play' 😔
#the title even looked like there wasn't any space btwn the words#like it LITERALLY looked like it said 'comeplay' and i was very 👀😩😔#but yeah i didn't really expect it to be......idk respectful??#films like this almost never are#surprisingly tho!! horror films generally WILL treat a main character like this with more respect#than one of those feel-good glurge fests#the kind ppl WITHOUT disability or nd watch to jerk off about how NICE and ACCEPTING they are#how THEY would never treat a disabled person that way!!! and laugh at the caricature of ableism like it's not even real#my lad oliver LOVES spongebob tho so i feel a deep connection with him#tho i don't think it especially wise to give him unrestricted??? internet access as he's only 8 yrs of age :P#whatever he's a top lad and he deserves the world#despite the sub par parenting i think the mum and dad DO love him#they're just.....sort of dumb lol#fortunately oliver is very smart so he'll probably be able to fix this lol#as long as they become luddites they should be JUST FINE lol#birb watch#autism#i bet my parents wish i were normal#sometimes i do too#sometimes i wish i'd never been born#bc i know that would have been easier for them ._.#BUT!!!! since when has making things EASY ever been MY concern???#NAY!!! CHAOS FOR ALL SAYS BIRB!!! CHAOS AND FLAMES!!! >:D#nvm lol the monster ate his mum and it was very traumatic. also his dad's in hospital. so i guess oliver's on his own#that's fine. it's fine bc he looked his mum in the face once which is ALLL that matters u lot#eye contact is the only MEANINGFUL connection i guess :'D#well at least oliver's got friends now?? no mother but FRIENDS!!! yay :'D#oh good she can visit him in her ghostly tattered form!! how nice for them both
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If plague doctors hadn't been a real thing, and you made them up for a speculative history/fantasy story, people would complain that they're implausibly advanced and way too cool.
Like you're like "yeah there's this super lethal illness and nobody actually knows how it spreads so just to be safe they've got these sick gothy fucking hazmat suits. No Greg shut up they totally had all the materials to make them, you can make fabric splatter-resistant by waxing and oiling it. And the mask is because of the- guys shut up, let me finish. The mask is- there's scented- guys shut up. They didn't have germ theory but they figured it has something to do with the air smelling- No shut up, you're a fucking furry. The beak makes it cool. Jerks."
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areislol · 1 year
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𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪 𝗩𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗦 𝗪 𝗛𝗣 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗦
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ft. harry j. potter, ron weasley, draco malfoy, cedric diggory, sirius black, remus lupin
warnings. aged up!! nsfw content, MDNI! mostly soft sex but rough sex is also included, twitter links. fem! reader, sub! characters will be mentioned in the names, imaginative texts included! pet play, teasing, nasty stuff
a/n. cedric, sirius and lupin's image is below!! kinda ooc! ron? i barely see any hp visual links so.. here this is lmao, and please, again, MDNI. sirius n remmy in the marauders era // this is my 2nd nsfw hc/fic im crying happy tears.. ALSO FIRST EVER HP WORK
here's a spotify playlist.
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harry james. potter
𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎… absolutely adores your tits, he will rest/sleep on your chest, sucking on your nipples as he falls asleep (his mouth latched onto it still), it's some sort of.. comfort to him. he loves how they're so soft and squishable. loves playing with them, rolling your nipple in between his fingers as he sucks on your other nipple before switching sides.
"I- mhm, god your tits... please.. can I?" harry pleads while looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. Your fingers run through his hair as you nod. He's quick to latch onto your tit as he starts to suck them softly which makes you softly moan as you tug onto his hair, rutting your pussy against his leg.
𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎… even after a long day will take his time and be patient and soft with you as he tenderly places a kiss on your thighs before kitty-licking your pussy <3 he's quite literally making out with your pussy and devouring it. if you didn't know any better you would've thought he was a starved animal.
"Just be a good girl f'me yeah? Be nice and good while I eat this pretty pussy.." harry says before ducking down in between your thighs as he begins to eat your pussy feverishly.
𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎… loves to fuck you in the reserve cowgirl position, watching as your tits bounce up and down, as his appears before being engulfed with your pussy. sometimes giggling and smiling while staring up at you in awe.
"Oh- fuck, oh your pussy feels so good-!" he says, his head lolled back as his dick slips in and out of your wet pussy.
𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎… just wants to be soft with you although most times it turns into a heaty session. loves to make out before having sex with you or during, as long as his lips are on yours that's all that matters..
making out with you before having passionate sex is his favourite thing to do. "I love you so, so much y/n.." he whispers before ghosting your lips to which you smile at before kissing him, for real this time.
𝐒𝐔𝐁! 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎… squirms, twitches and whimpers when you touch and jerk his dick, rolling your thump and hand over his tip as he desperately tries to stop you from overstimulating him.
"mhm, please.. y/n-! Ah.. stop, please." harry whimpers as he takes hold of your hand, "uh-uh, just be a good boy and let me touch you.. you'll be a good boy, right?" you chuckle when harry nods his head vigorously.
𝐒𝐔𝐁! 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎… is shy during your first time having sex, he's quiet at first but after you ride him he's whimpering and panting, he can only look at you in awe as you ride him
"Shy? Why are you shy?" you question while straddling his lap, your hands on his shoulders as you smirk from his flustered face. "I-im, because.. it's my first time you know.." he mumbles as he turns his head away from embarrassment. You place your finger on his chin and make him look at you, "don't be shy, harry.. let me make you feel good. I promise I will.." you coo.
ron weasley
𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… jerks off while allowing you to ride his hand as he rubs circles on your clit.
"Oh wow... this is nice.." ron whispers, watching you stroke his dick with your hand while he rubs circles on your clit. "Oh please.. ron just get on with it." you whine, ron smirks and nods, "anything for you."
𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… is slow with you, peppering you with small kisses. thrusting slowly in you before gradually fucking you like how you want to be fucked <3
"You like that, hm?" ron is never the one to tease you in bed but seeing you all open to him sparks something in him that he can't explain, all he knows is that he's feeling good. "Let me make you feel good baby"
𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… makes out with your pretty pussy! on most days he just wants to stuff his face in between your legs until you cry out his name multiple times, gripping onto his hair tightly as he makes your stomach knot over and over again.
"Oh, ron! Please.." you whine as you gripped onto his hair tightly. "Please what?" ron mumbles, his mouth still latched onto your pussy as his tongue licks stripes on your clit. "Please go faster.."
𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… pounds your pussy after a long day without seeing you, he just missed this pretty pussy of his.
"D'you know how much i've missed you? Huh? Missed this pretty pussy." ron bucks his hips forward as he slams into your cunt and he doesn't stop, he just missed you so much, he missed being inside of you. You'll be good a girlfriend and allow him to, hm?
𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… watches as his cum drips out of your pussy, admiring it before fucking you again and again, pulling his dick out just to see his cum drip out of you.
"Oh would you look at that.." he whispers, fingers prodding and stretching your pussy to see his cum dripping out of your fluttering hole. "So cute" he coos, he could not wait to do that again.
draco malfoy
𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… fingers you, leaving you breathless and moaning for more. who slaps your face harshly before kissing you.
Draco's fingers are pumping in and out of your weeping hole, and he's doing it roughly. "You like that? It feels good?" draco whispers in your ear, grinning as he already knew the answer. Your hands are clutching his arm. You were too tired and overstimulated to speak, you could only nod. "I need words baby."
𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… sneaked you into his room after his roommates left and proceeded to fuck you balls deep.
Draco invited you to come visit his room just to "study" but you knew that draco was never really the one to study, but you agreed anyways, he was your boyfriend after all. What you didn't expect was in after a few minutes he would be balls deep inside of you. "Oh-! Draco, it feels so good, mmm"
𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… has a breeding kink, wanting to stuff you with his cum, watching as it all dribbles down from your pussy. Watching as your pussy clenches around nothing.
"You're so cute y/n, you know?" he hums teasingly, his hands gripped onto your thighs tightly as he pulls them apart to admire his work. You knew draco was looking at you, or rather your pussy, but nonetheless it made you feel hot under his gaze. You mew in response as your pussy clenches around nothing, obviously hinting that you wanted something more.. thicker inside of you once more.
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cedric diggory
𝐂𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… fucks you in doggy style <3 relishing in how his dick is being swallowed whole by your pussy.
"You look so pretty like this.." he murmurs as he pounds into your red and abused cunt. "Mmm so pretty for you-!" you sputter out as your hands clench onto the bedsheets tightly.
𝐂𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… passionately makes out with your clit before fingering you whilst licking and flicking your bud with his warm tongue.
"You like that don't you?" cedric mumbles as he stares up at you while fingering and licking your cunt. "Mhm! Yes i dooo" you drag the 'o's as he speeds up his fingering, cedric only grinned as your juices flow down his chin.
𝐂𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… holds your hand as he pumps his fingers in and out of your pussy, he just wants to hold hands while doing something intimate with you <3
"Here, hold my hand pretty" he says – in a sweet tone as if he wasn't fingering you harshly – as he intertwines his hands with yours. "God you're so cute."
𝐂𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎… eats you out in his room while his roommates are away for quidditch practice, he called in sick just to eat his pretty princesses' pussy. Loving your cute little moans as he burrows his head further and further in as if he wasn't already.
"Oh c'mon! Let me just have a quick taste.. so what if they burst inside?" he says with a pout, his head hovering just right above your glistening pussy. "So what? We could get in trouble!" you whisper-yell. "Awh, well too bad im going to anyways." he states before burrowing his head down.
sirius black
𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐎… fucks you until your shaking from your orgasm and squirting. Slapping his cock on your pussy as your hips buck forward.
"Aww, look at you, all of this because of me?" sirius teases before patting his cock on your wet pussy. "We ought to do this more, hm?" you nod ever so slightly to which he chuckles at. "Alright, lets get you cleaned up now."
𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐎… loves to see you all tied up as he teases you with his cock, torturing you as he slides it along your aching hole before finally giving you what you really want.
"Look at you, all dolled up for me.. gorgeous aren't you?" he says just barely above a whisper. You nod you head and whine, "alright alright, ill give you what you want now" he chuckles before slipping his dick inside of your needy hole.
𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐎… trains you with a leash on, all dressed up just for him as he fucks you again and again.
"What's the safe word?" sirius asks, his finger tracing your spine, "green." you respond with a smile. Sirius returns tn before giving looking back at his dick that was positioned in front of your entrance. "There we go.." he whispers as his dick slips inside your pussy before tugging onto your leash.
𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐎… wants to hold you in his arms as you two have sex, he wants to be close as possible, this is as they say, an intimate act.
"Fuck- y/n you feel so good. Come closer to me will you, yeah?" sirius mumbles, pulling you closer to his chest. Both your arms wrap around each other as he pounds into your poor, abused cunt.
remus lupin
𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐔𝐒 𝐋𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎… hates being rough but since he is a werewolf, his... tendencies tend to come out. He fucks you harshly as he holds you down from moving.
"Come on y/n.. stop squirming you- fine." he mutters before holding you down, his hand on your belly before switching to your arm, trying to subdue your squirming and movements. "Please remmy! I-i need it.." you whine, lolling your head sideways, bucking your hips forwards in the hopes of getting more friction. "Then let me give it to you."
𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐔𝐒 𝐋𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎… teases you with his dick sliding over your needy hole, grinning when he sees you whining and twitching at his touch. But, he is nice so he will give you a reward for being so patient.
"Remus, please.. I want it." your hand gripping onto his sleeve as you tried to move your slips to "accidentally" make his dick slip inside. "Nuh-uh, just be patient and i'll give you what you want.." even though you weren't patient you nodded anyways, "good girl."
𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐔𝐒 𝐋𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎… is smitten with your boobs! He loves how soft they are, small, medium or big, he will love them nonetheless! Remmy will fondle with them, suck on them, toy with them, lick them and so on. Just please let him have your tits.
"Mm, don't you think that's enough..?" you question, looking at your boyfriend who was fondling with your breasts. "Enough? Absolutely not!" you frown at his response. "But- what about-" "that can wait, love. Just wanna focus on my girls first."
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IDK IF U SAW IT @fleursbending BUT HERE
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bewarethecircles · 10 months
Text
After a vacation in Alpha Centauri, Gabriel and Beelzebub come back to earth and move in together. They proceed to be the worst and most baffling neighbors anyone in the neighborhood has ever experienced. 
They introduced themselves as Bee and Jim, but immediately started laughing about it, so people are pretty sure those aren't their real names. 
Neither of them seem to have jobs, but they must be rich, because their house is massive and they're always wearing fancy clothes, and their wallets are bursting with money. Maybe they’re in the mafia?
Speaking of fancy clothes, “Jim” is always wearing designer suits. There is an ongoing game where people attempt to take a picture of him in any other clothes. One time, an enterprising teenager went so far as to sneak over in the middle of the night to look into his bedroom (hoping he’d be in pajamas), and saw him still in a suit, Standing on Top of the Bed, eyes wide open and Smiling Brightly. (Gabriel has not gotten the hang of sleeping yet.) (The teenager refuses to go near the house ever again.)
The short one, “Bee,” is consistently trailed by flies. This is alarming to everyone. They say that they're a “fly-keeper,” but people are pretty sure that's not a thing. Do they carry rotting meat around or something?
Bee also seems to be constantly changing appearances. One day they have a buzz cut, the next day their hair goes to their mid-back. Their eyes are a different colour every time you see them. People have set up cameras to take pictures of them on different days, and upon comparing them they are Definitely almost 6 inches taller this week. Even their facial features shift. 
It gets to the point where people decide Jim must just have multiple partners, and be lying about it. (“Multiple partners that all look similar and are never seen together?” the opposition will point out. When asked if they have a better theory, they can never answer.)
The two of them will have romantic moments Anywhere, including standing in the middle of the highway staring into each others eyes. By all rights they should have been run over, but in a bizarre coincidence every car in the area ran out of fuel and stopped moving at that exact moment. People want to blame Jim for it (he did make a strange hand movement, after all), but that would just be absurd.
They use the absolute worst pet names for each other. A list of overheard ones is being recorded. “My rotten cabbage?” “My hell-bringer?” “Dearest packet of crisps??” 
You cannot let them notice that you're disgusted by their lovey-doveyness. They will either get exponentially more cringey, or straight up insult you until you run away crying. Or both. 
“Everyday” by Buddy Holly will be audible to the whole block at all times. Do they know other songs exist? Don't they get bored of this one?? Why is it so loud???
There’s a statue of Jim in the front yard. Its 20 feet tall and definitely a HOA violation, but people are too scared to mention it. Both Bee and Jim will come out at different times and spend hours staring at it dreamily. 
People would hate them, but ever since they moved in the weather has been perfect, crime is at an all time low, and there’s little trucks that go around selling hot chocolate, and those things Probably cant be because of them, but still...
Plus, Jim doesn’t understand how money works at all, so he’ll give you $300 for a bag of chips. It's endearing, even if he is sometimes a jerk.
Bee does seem to know how money works, but they’ll frequently pay even more than Jim, especially if the person seems overworked and the place is under-staffed. They say they have experience with it.
After a month of them living there, most of the neighborhood is in a group chat created to discuss the two of them. Beelzebub is secretly in the chat, and reads their favourite theories to Gabriel. 
A rumour starts going around that they're an angel and a demon in disguise, but no one can agree which one is which. 
Beelzebub is the one who started the rumour. 
If anyone writes a fic with any of this by all means tag me I'd love to see it!!
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