#To not do so tears me apart

[amerasdreams]

people dont like me anyway so I might as well do what I want and believe in what I believe in

#Not conforming #To anyone #Just to get them to like me #Not who I am #Got to be more ok w this irl.... #To not do so tears me apart #Thus I avoid people #Bc I will cower before them ;( #Unless really mad #How do you do one thing in a split second when you have conditioned yourself #When your personality has forced you #To do another? #I hate lying #I'm not going to lie about myself #I have been saying on social media anyway... #I just am not the kind of person people like #Like dad #That Yiddish word schmo or sth #That means useless person or #Ppl take one look at me and are like: ew #Even on here #Pariah #Oh well I always have been what else is new

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

#my art #my writing #who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life) #i dont know what this even is #i just work here #disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like. #most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis #so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps #i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction #if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #blood #love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor

[deltaruminations]

what if gaster in a future chapter calls out the audience for speculating so much about him. the guy canonically has some amount of access to Real Life Social Media. like i started this mostly as a joke but there are definitely some real metanarrative opportunities for a character with recklessly curious impulses, and possibly a fragile sense of self, having nearly limitless access to streams of debate over whether or not he’s a bastard. rude to talk about someone who’s listening etc

#this is very fast and loose character reading on my part but i do get the sense sometimes #that gaster may be asking some of the same questions of himself that we are of him. #’who are you? how should i feel about you? should i sympathize with you or be disgusted by you?’ #i said ‘call out’ in the post but i don’t even necessarily think this is a matter of anger #so much as sincere confusion and ego-shattering overwhelm #a character so wrung out by the mechanisms of audience interpretation that even he has no idea who he is anymore #and he’s looking at ​the audience who looked so hard for him and spent so much energy tearing him apart for clues or answers #and saying ‘you want to know what i am. but you seem to know that better than i do. please tell me. tell me what you think.’ #’because i want to know just as much as you do.’ #…anyway this is not real speculation. just rambling on an idea i think would be cool lol #$ waltz of a shattered man

[muzzleroars]

in the tomb of saint gabriel

(may your woes be many)

#ultrakill #v1 #gabriel #ummm....hi. #couldn't stop thinking about a fallen angel gabe boss fight ok!!! #his tomb is fashioned after his role in the annunciation #with a sculpture that depicts gabriel in his human guise as its centerpiece #importantly....this is not his true face at all but it looms over his casket #a perfect image that is perpetuated to both deny his fall and to shame him at the same time #in the fight itself he can no longer fly or teleport nor can he conjure any weapons #he's just fast and brutal and definitely goes after v1's wings #he's lost in his mental and physical anguish doing everything he can to tear v1 apart #REALLY leaning into when he said 'fight me like an animal' ig.... #like i imagine him a lot like a bull....even using his horns maybe..... #doodle tag #UHUH i might do some more sketches but nothing so involved !!! #i can't see straight after staring at a billion cathedrals #ALSO i'll get back to asks soon thank u for ur patience!! #rise and fall au

[ganondoodle]

utterly random late night panic thoughts but

if you read my zelda comic and like it i love and appreciate you but i really do need to be upfront about it being very much a self indulgent enemies to lovers story with a villain at the center that has done bad but isnt bad at his core and is struggeling to come to terms with the fact that he doesnt actually want to be the evil beast he and almost everyone else believes he should be

yes im one of those people ... fake villain fans or something ... i think .. i dont know the rules to that ... q-q

#ganondoodles talks #i thinks its in part the time thats making me suddendly panic about that #like i often see posts from people that are like fake villain enjoyers make the guy into a good guy #and real villain enjoyers are those that like him bc he kills people #or making fun of or generally seeming very agressive towards people that redeem villains #and i have no idea if id be counted among them bc im kinda doing it #yes he killed people but no he doesnt like it and doesnt want to #im one of those cringy softies that are like .. but what if villain ... good #of course im trying to make it make sense and with alot of extra written lore #like i made an entire world up just for demises backstory #but im undenialbly afraid that some people will tear my comic apart once they realize i made him not all that evil #again i have pretty much read no fanfiction and am unfamiliar with alot of common fanfic tropes and stuff so #i got no idea what is commonly understood as the wrong kind of villain fan or soemthing #I DONT KNOW THE CRINGE RULES I JUST HAVE LOTS OF BLORBO THOUGHTS #i need to go to bed

[mettywiththenotes]

Murray: “You, you’re harder to read. Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for who you really are

and retreated back to the safety of... Steve.

We like Steve.

But we don’t love Steve.”

Nancy: “What? No, we- I mean, I-I-I do...”

Why are the Wheelers so see-through

#are you kidding me i heard that IDENTICAL three-time stammer and i laughed so hard #they're so see through #its the way murray would tear mike apart if they met now #he'd take one look at mike and go 'nancy's brother right? i can tell. since you have all *gestures vaguely to him + will* THAT going on' #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #st4 spoilers #mike wheeler #byler #stranger things 4 #mettys posts #metty posts #hey girlies i'm struggling with analysis posts so i have resorted to doing Screenshots And Quotes #btw that last screenshot isn't what mike says in response to eleven showing him the letters #i just found it similar to nancy's nervous denial stammer #to me mike and nancy's nervous denial stammers are the same #mike wheeler is not straight #byler tumblr

[mimicha-arts]

Take my hand and don't you let it go now We'll find our way out

#link click #link click s2 #shiguang dailiren #shiguang #time agents #His unreachable dream #Please accept another one of my empty sketches #I had so many thoughts so many plans for art and posts #But I literally can't do anything I just cry every time I open this episode. #I'm so in love with everything that happened but it's literally tearing me apart #Listen to Our Way Out by Nico Collins please

[intelligentbees]

Ik we stevetonies love our ‘Steve pulling Tony out of a bender in the workshop’ trope but me? I LOOOOVE the other way round. A bad mission and Steve loses someone - he tried to save them but it was too late, he couldn’t get there in time. And post-mission he just holes himself up in the gym and stays there. For days. Working himself to exhaustion just so he can shave half a second off his sprint (half a second and that person would be alive), punching bag after bag until his hands are bloody and raw.

Tony is the only one who can get through to him like this. It’s only his voice that can make Steve pause, come back to himself. Sometimes Tony has to actively stand in front of whatever it is Steve’s attacking, which absolutely infuriates him, but damn if it isn’t effective in a way only Tony no-thought-to-his-own-self-preservation Stark could be. And Tony is equally as infuriated that steve is insisting on doing this to himself, but even though his tone is angry, his touch against Steve’s knuckles is impossibly soft.

He’ll drag Steve back up to the land of the living. Put him in the shower and clean him off, freshen him up, make him feel human again. Steve will already be healing, of course, but Tony still tends and bandages his hands - attentive to the finest detail, devoting every part of his mind to just making Steve feel a little bit better.

They don’t talk much throughout this. God knows Tony’s tried it before, but Steve is never in the headspace for it, and Tony never says the right thing anyway. But he’s there.

He runs his fingers over the back of Steve’s palms. Up his forearms. He strokes the sharp curve of Steve’s neck, settling against the quick pulse. Steve’s face is blank, but Tony is always surprisingly patient with him. He waits.

“I’m fine,” Steve will say every time, while his face will say the opposite.

“You’re an idiot,” Tony will respond. “I’m locking you out of the gym.”

He won’t. Steve needs it, even if it’s unhealthy, even if it’s agonising for Tony to watch. This is just how they get through.

But Steve will see the way Tony is looking at him- distressed, angry, worried - and it’ll break through the fog. The thing that always takes priority over everything is Tony, and even though Steve’s brain is screaming at him to get right back to it, he just can’t put it above Tony’s well-being. He couldn’t ever do that.

“I Guess I can take a break now.”

#stevetony #Steve Rogers #tony stark #um. merciless killing machine Steve tearing apart punching bags in the gym. #until Tony walks in and simply. steps right in front of the line of fire. totally fearless. #not even FLINCHING when Steve’s fist flies toward his face because he knows Steve will stop before it lands. #AND IT DRIVES STEVE FUCKINF CRAZYYYYY BECAUSE ITS SO DANGEROUS DONT FUCKING DO THAT JESUS #and Tony’s just like. okay. anyways now I have your attention can you PLEASE get the hell out of here’ etc etc etc IM INSANE FOR THIS #LOVE IT. GIVE ME ALL THE FICS.

[what-even-is-thiss]

.

#bad news that brings your whole week down kinda day #the kind of bad news you can’t bring up or else it’ll ruin everyone else’s mood kinda news #but I feel like I need to tell someone or it’s gonna tear me apart #my grandma is in the hospital and we don’t know how serious it is yet #it could be an easy fix or it could be bad we just don’t know #the waiting is the worst part when someone’s in the hospital #it always floors me #makes it hard to do anything #I’m praying it’s a fixable problem but we just don’t know yet #and I’m half a continent away so I can’t do anything #I just have to wait and I hate the waiting #I haven’t told any of my friends or classmates yet because I don’t wanna bring the whole room down #but it’s hard waiting for answers #it’s really hard #anyways sorry for rambling at you guys about my personal problems #I just needed to tell someone

[accursedrainbow]

Lucretia explaining her Wonderland experience and how each Wonderland was different for every person who entered... she says she never saw anyone else the entire time she was there, they were isolating her because the isolation she already inflicted upon herself in the misguided attempt to save her dearest friends made her miserable, and Wonderland exists to feed on misery

#taz balance #taz #every time I relisten to Balance I notice a new detail that makes me ill #when I think about Lucretia for an extended period of time I start destroying things like a bad dog she makes me so emo #she doesn't want to be alone! she can't do it alone! *tearing apart a couch*

[vilz]

i'll bend myself out of shape for you. i'll become something new for you. i'll put myself in a little box, and you'll sing a song, and i'll pop back out again- surprise! a real boy at last... a real person, a real...

i'll really really really be me, the me you want me to be. and it won't hurt at all. what's your favourite shape? i'll be it. i can be it.

#fnaf sun #fnaf daycare attendant #daycare attendant #fnaf sb #fnaf #* screams and cries and wails * #behold! the transformative power of a longing that tears you apart #the wiresparks are bright and beautiful and burning #and ill rip into myself until i know i have a heart #ill do it until i hit blood and then i will know i am alive #* SCREAMING CRYING WAILING !!!!!* #he makes me SO emo he makes me SO SO SO SO SO SO SO EMO. #my art #digital #painting

[not-equippedforthis]

spock's brain s3e1

#what an episode. what an episode. #listen i do NOT accept the 'its the worst episode of tos' NO. NONONO. #is it good? fuck no. but it is NOT the worst #spocks brain is my fucked up little dog i found on the side of the road #entertaining as shit. end of discussion. #not equipped for rambling #star trek tos #tos #star trek #star trek the original series #spock's brain #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #tos spock #you cannot call spocks brain the worst when the paradise syndrome and omega glory sit right there #granted the paradise syndrome is just real bad imo (apart from the spones content. but even then.) #the omega glory is saved by it being the funniest fucking bullshit ive ever seen. tears in my eyes #they took his brain THEY TOOK HIS BRAIN. JUST. STOLE IT. #I CANT HATE IT THATS SO FUNNY #shout out to the post i reblogged below that reminded me of it again. ily.

[namelysane]

I was just thinking the other day about what would happen if you showed a 6 year old from 2011 the future seasons of Ninjago —yes, while there are many much more interesting developments such as Nya being a ninja and Cole learning more about his mother — you're all forgetting another, very crucial thing that seriously changed.

Lloyd and Garmadon's relationship.

Imagine some kid happily watching Garmadon rescue his son from the Fire Temple and thinking wow, for Ninjago's greatest villain, he isn't that bad of a dad. His own son's gonna be his downfall and he's actually proud of him for that. Wish he's my dad.

And then you show them crystalized and they're like:

...what the fuck happened.

#as a kid their relationship was the only reason i watched the show lol #they've been through so much to the point it's now a soap opera #and it's hilarious #sog & hunted might've crushed my heart to pieces but crystalized & MoTo had me laughing to tears oh my god #like what do u mean garmadon wouldn't tear apart the world for lloyd anymore? #what do u mean lloyd's exploding at him because garmadad replaced him with a plant #ninjago #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon #ninjago lloyd #lloyd ninjago #lord garmadon #ninjago garmadon #garmadon ninjago #garmadon #emperor garmadon #ninjago christofern #ns16 #ninjago crystalized #ninjago season 16 #garmadad

[koppaiterocker]

Oh you guys have no idea how much angst this single comment spawned in my head... If I was a fic blog it would be SO over

#someone please understand me i love brozone but i am also so unbelievably mad at them #what do you mean a performance goes awry and you leave A BABY. A BABY!! #yes rosiepuff was there. yes they left him thinking it was his fault #because the entire pre-show jd is LOUDLY SAYING EVERYTHINF HAS TO BE PERFECT #AND THAT HE ISNT ALLOWED TO BE NERVOUS #oh my god. brozones biggest hater right here #but not in the same way i hate other characters #but oh my god. guys #tears them apart with my teeth like a dog ripping up a pillow #wheres them apologizing to branch. for literslly anything #wheres them properly acknowledging rosiepuff died a few years after they left and he was alone #AND GREY. #Basically his whole life #can anyone hear me hello (yelling into the void) #koppaitepaladin #dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls band together #beeps yapping #poppy “yap-a-lot” springwater here...

[number1jaymerrickhater]

Is anyone else sad about Entry #76? Anyone else sad about the way that Alex apologized to Jessica before he tried to shoot her? Anyone else crying about how he spent the entire time telling her that it was going to be ok, he was going to explain everything once they got out of there? Anyone else feel physically ill about how even though Alex was going to kill Jessica and it didn’t matter at that point he still warned her to be careful on the rocks? Anyone else sobbing at how Alex made Jessica go on ahead of him, so she wouldn’t know what was coming until it was too late? Anyone else emotionally devastated thinking about how Alex looked away right before he was going to shoot her?

The more I think about Entry #76 the sadder I get.

#i swear to god I could write a whole ass essay just tearing apart this entry #I think about this entry wayyyy too much #bc its makes it clear Alex doesn’t wanna do what hes doing #but he feels he has to to stop the operator #this and entry 86 make me so sad #proud alex kralie apologist #marble hornets #alex kralie #marble hornets spoilers #mh tim wright #mh brian #mh jay merrick

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals.... #going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year? #is it year eight of having them? year nine? #one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh?? #his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs... #my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3