#Like dad

[just-a-speck]

me: drives the bike over 50kmph for two (2) minutes and overtakes a truck

dad: DHEEM KARO DHEEME, BAHUT KHARAB CHALATE HO, AAJ SE NAHI MILEGI BIKE

#like dad #chill #itni chinta kyu har time #je pense #just desi things

[puppygirlcuddleslut]

Love that I walked out to my dad like this and he called me his son. I am the opitme of masculinity, the average cis male, the manliest man

#trans #trans woman #still funny as hell to me #like dad #are you sure #are you 100 percent sure?

[cactuseri]

collection

#seri.txt #these just made me laugh idk 😭 my mom and dad r also both like this #idk if someone’s posted these before but idc #seri’s hits

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[xekstrin]

One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.

The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.

“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”

The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”

“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.

I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.

He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”

“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”

A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.

I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.

So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….

“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.

Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.

The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.

So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)

But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.

“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”

#IT WAS SO FUNNY #the kid was like GROSS #and dad was like its art :) #maybe one day you will feel that way too son #and he was like NO NEVER GROSS #and the dad was like you know what thats true :) not everyone feels that way #but maybe some day you will and you’ll see it’s totally fine and normal #A+ dad #dad of all time #dad champion #forage friends

[excavatinglizard]

Shoutout to my dad for being the funniest person I know

#mitski #dumb shit i do #lesbian #I'm turning reblogs back on but you all have to be nice to each other or you're losing Lesbian Dad privileges #would like to add that mitski is an incredible writer and lyricist and so much more than sad lesbian music. #I am. however. a sad lesbian who is haunted by said lyrics and writing

[mo-mode]

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

#EVEN BETTER if Mr D tries to keep his cover by actually treating him like a son #Clarisse doesn’t mess with him cuz after the toilet fiasco Mr D is like “I will feed you to my cult young lady!! good job Peter :) #Percy is like “hey dad why can I control water “and Mr D is like …ever heard of that guy that turned it to wine?? #Mr D: PLEASE just help me I can’t keep it a secret for much longer Mr. Brunner: you told him his brother was JESUS??? #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson the lightning thief #dionysus #Mr D

[bananonbinary]

for ages i thought i didnt like drag because of internalized homophobia but it turned out i just don't like bright lights and loud music and really visually complicated things

spd is homophobic i guess is what im saying

#i fucking hate live shows of any sort #every time my dad dragged me to one as a little kid i was miserable the whole time #i like to consume things from a tiny rectangle on my computer screen and nothing bigger than that

[daisywords]

One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

#idk what to tag this #worldbuilding #writing fiction #historical fiction #fantasy #a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition #this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over #and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby #they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle #and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?

[adyophene]

The Greatest Showcat! [Lucihusk/Royalflush]

#hazbin hotel #husk #hazbin art #lucifer morningstar #lucihusk #royalflush #they're both performers! they both beef with alastor! they're both deadbeat dad coded. #something about lucifer's energy feels like it could be healing for husk idk i just want them to have a duet

[frownyalfred]

my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.

Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.

#bruce wayne #batman #justice league #jl #dc #dc comics #when Clark tells you to go see batman you know you’re fucked #it’s like mom saying to go talk to dad #and dad is working in the basement with his tools swearing

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[krasnyel]

regular ascot-loving-mystery-solving family

#idk this idea just couldn’t leave my brian for like two days so i had to do something about it #philip is the other dad #knives out #glass onion #benoit blanc #scooby doo #fred jones #krasnyel post #fanart #artists on tumblr #digital aritst

[lazylittledragon]

more domestics to warm the soul <33

#art #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #until they sort out the daywalker thing he's getting the taako special #if you're not putting astarion in fabulous outfits then what are you doing #also fuck you astarion for being the only fictional man that i can't Dad #that man would throw an orphan into a volcano for one corn chip #it is so important to me that dorian's eyes look like he's never had a thought

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

#Jason miscalculated #seeing Batman frightened is one thing #but without the cowl he’s just Bruce #and Bruce was Jason’s DAD #it’s pretty hard to see him plead like that #and ffs Jason was just suggesting MILD torture with Tim #now stop CRYING Brucie omG #Jason is totally NOT close to tears himself no fucking way #meanwhile dick and Tim: #SCREAMING IN DISTRESS #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #robin #tim drake #bruce wayne #red hood #Nightwing #batdad #prompts #fic #titans tower au does this count? #enemy to caretaker for certain tho #or more like #enemy to son #or enemies to family? #huh #Batman #fanfiction

[eternallovers65]

Ngl if I had a child with Poseidon, the God of the Seas, and had to pay swimming lessons for my son because he was scared of water, I'd be cursing Poseidon forever like you don't show up, don't pay child support and now you can't even help your actual ocean spawn to swin????

#like my girl sally a saint because you could see she wanted to tell him so bad he would be okay because hes poseidon son #dead beat dad indeed omd #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson #poseidon