#Wish I know how to make rom hacks
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Something that has been on my mind since watching that one tragic episode with Minior in Pokemon Sun and Moon animated series years ago:
Don't mind me i'll just dump notes of an idea for a R0M H4CK
Pokemon Wander
Blurb: You play as Red, the future champion of Indigo League. You’re on your way to collect 8 badges to fight the Elite Four, when…
- Starts off as a normal FireRed until getting the 1st badge and leaving Pewter City
Instead of the usual interruption from an NPC to get your running shoes;
You get teleported to a city/town from a random region, or even a new, fanmade one.
Following Generations include Gen 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and the fanmade one. No in particular order
Regions:
Gen 3 (Mossdeep City) - You ask for the locals where to go home, and you encounter someone who knew about your circumstance and explains it. Meeting Tate and Liza will tell you something about a roaming mythical Pokemon.
If surf is already acquired, Shoal Cave sidequest will be available.
Gen 4 (Hearthome City) - You meet Cynthia who is aware of your circumstances and further elaborates on it, she'll give you a pokemon that will help you (a mon that knows surf)
There will be an Amity Square Sidequest where you can walk with your starter. This will make the egg hatch faster, if not fully hatch.
Gen 5 (Undella Town (Spring) (BW ver.)) – You meet Cynthia (again if you already met her in Hearthome) and talks to you (dialogue depends whether you already visited Hearthome or not)
Gen 6 (Couriway Town) – You visit Hotel Couriway and meet Mr. Bonding, who is also aware of the phenomenon that has happened to you, and will give you a device that can be used only once to help you go home (said item will just teleport you to a random city/town from one of the regions mentioned above)
Sidequest involves turning into an errand boy in Hotel Couriway
Gen 7 (Mount Hokulani) – It just happens that your time of arrival coincides with the date of the upcoming Minior showers, you go to the Hokulani Observatory and meet Molayne and Sophocles. Upon describing what happened on your way to Mt. Moon in Kanto, they remember reading something related to a mythical Pokemon that uses warps and portals to teleport.
Sidequest (The biggest one of them all, the thing inspired by that one Minior episode) – Before the upcoming final Minior Shower, you met a Minior stuck in the grass, it joins your team, which lets you battle the trainers in Mt. Hokulani easily. If in party, Molayne and Sophocles notes of the Minior you have, providing additional dialogue. If agreed, you can do the Hokulani trial before the final Minior Shower. A cutscene with Minior will happen at the final Minior Shower and will leave your team. (When this sidequest is active and isn’t finished, it will disable the sudden teleportation that should trigger after talking to the pair at Hokulani Observatory.)
A fanmade city from an unknown region - never thought anything further other than it's based on a screenshot of a fanmade map using pokemon emerald tilesets from a mutual :3 (Dk if I can post the pic, so i'll not post it.)
Mt. Silver – After travelling the 8 random spots from a specific region, you end up warped at the foot of Mt. Silver, behind a patrolling police officer, which will escort you back to Viridian city after realizing you were the missing person the police had been searching for months.
Note: If you completed all the sidequests, an additional cutscene will happen as you make your way into Viridian City, a Hoopa will appear to snatch you away again and warp you to Dahara City 100 years ago (a city based on the movie Hoopa debuted), a man will appear to reprimand Hoopa and will use a device to imprison it (not the Imprison Bottle that will turn it unbound), but not before talking to you and asking Hoopa to send you back to Kanto. Instead of walking back to Pokemon Center with the officer, you'll wake up at the Pokemon Center.
Well, that's it. The R0m H4ck is basically less battles, more on cutscenes and narrative, and a little ambitious on map-making (lol). It'll never be made idk how to make a r0m h4ck, let alone change a dialogue in the game.
#Don't mind macrieally they're just posting#pokemon#rom hack idea#idc if you use it just don't forget to credit me :3#Wish I know how to make rom hacks
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Casey wrote a queer political romance novel, Matthew made a queer rom com with some politics sprinkled in.
Those are different things.
I wish they could have kept Rafael Luna and made Richards the villain he is in the book... But this is amazon. They invested in this film and they want their money's worth. They want this film to appeal to as many people as possible.
Making the republican candidate a sexual predator who goes around hacking private email servers to out queer kids to win an election isn't going to fly with the conservative/republican audience (though I don't know if they'd watch a queer rom com in the first place but I digress).
They changed the queen to a king and changed the family name as to not piss off the real British royal family. They didn't make the king as blatantly homophobic and racist as the queen is in the book so it wouldn't piss off the royalists.
And I remember seeing a post with tweets from the creator of... I don't remember what show - some cartoon that aired on Disney I think - where they explained all the things Disney wanted them to change in the show and the things they had to fight to keep.
We know the MAAP told Matthew to take out the Paris love scene or they'd give it an R rating. We know he said fuck you to that and kept it in. We don't know how much amazon's execs gave him shit for before officially signing off on the version we can watch now.
They cut an hours worth of stuff, and it probably wasn't all *just* for time.
We got the most sensual and intimate sex scene I have ever seen in any piece of media, we had a conversation between a mother and son where she basically named the entire acronym before Alex told her he's bi. And then she just accepts it and reminds him about safe *anal* sex.
They had Uma Thurman say bottoming!
We don't know how much Matthew López has had to fight amazon for any of those things. And how much he's had to compromise.
Just something to keep in mind.
Having said that - release the deleted scenes amazon!!
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Encouraging Pokémon fans to try the Mystery Dungeon series if you want something new!
Especially Explorers of Sky!
"I wish the gameplay had more depth than type advantages and RNG." Items are essential, combos are possible, and positioning is mandatory.
"I wish the stories had depth." It goes harder and darker than any mainline game and I promise the ending will make you cry.
"I wish the bosses were challenging." While not overly difficult once you know how to use the mechanics to their fullest, you can and will get your ass kicked at first. And rom hacks exist to make it harder.
"I wish I could obtain every Pokémon without trading and events." Every single one is there. All of them. You can play as any Pokémon given enough time. Explorers of Sky goes up to Gen IV but romhacks add some later ones.
"I wish the lore and characters were deeper." You know all those ridiculous Pokédex entries? They're all canon. If a Pokémon plays a major role in the story, it's not just for show. Their lore is relevant.
And on top of all that, the music is legit fire.
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a comprehensive guide to custom villagers
when making my custom villager it was very difficult to find good tutorials as many of them would point to deleted pages or only cover things i already knew, so i have decided to make my own complete tutorial. please let me know if you need any aditional help! i will try my best to keep this tutorial up to date and clarify it if needed.
it's important to note that these villagers will NOT show up in online play and dream towns. since only your game is edited, other players will see whichever villager you've replaced instead of the one you've made unless they also mod their game.
first things first, you will need a hacked 3ds with luma3ds and an SD card for this. you can probably play in citra, but i dont really know how using mods in citra works so i will focus on luma3ds for this tutorial.
if you haven't hacked your 3ds yet, do not follow a video tutorial: they can become outdated very easily with no indication of it and following outdated guides makes it a lot more likely that you'll brick your console. follow the guide on 3ds.hacks.guide instead.
other software you will need:
hackingtoolkit9ds to decrypt and unpack the rom
kukkii to extract the textures and put them back in
a drawing software (can be anything, even mspaint) to edit the textures
blender or another 3d editing software to preview what you're doing
010 editor to edit the bin and .umsbt files
step 1: getting a rom
if you're simply downloading the rom online, you may skip this step.
for those who wish to dump the rom from their console, you must first turn it on while pressing the START button to enter godmode9's menu. click the HOME button to see more options, then select "Title manager", then select where you've installed the title (SD card or the console itself). a list of all your installed games will appear. scroll down to Animal Crossing New Leaf or Happy Home Designer depending on which game you want your villager to be injected into.
once you've chosen the game, select "Manage title..." and choose either "Build CIA (standard)" or "Dump CXI/NDS file". you may then shut down the console and insert the SD card into your computer. the rom will be in the folder \gm9\out on the root of your SD card
step 2: decrypting/unpacking the rom
drag and drop your rom to the "PackHack" folder that hackingtoolkit9ds is in. rename it so that it doesn't contain any spaces or special characters.
open up hackingtoolkit9ds and type either CE (for .cia roms) or CXI (for .cxi files) in the window that appears depending on the format of your rom. it will ask you to write the name of your file without the extension. type it and press enter and wait for it to do its thing.
step 3: making your textures!
you'll find your extracted villager models in the folder \ExtractedRomFS\Npc\Normal\Model
the first three letters in each .bcres file name represent the species. open up one of the files of the species you want to make yoir villager be. it doesn't have to be the file of the specific villager you want to replace as we can rename it later, but do be careful that certain villagers have slightly different models than the rest of their species (tucker having tusks or étoile having hairpins, for example)
since i wanted to make an elephant with tusks, i've picked tucker as my base. he uses model elp09.bcres
click the "Batch export PNG" button and choose the folder you want the textures to go in. you may then edit them as you wish. your textures do not need to be semi-transparent like the extracted textures are.
i like seeing the way things look as i work, so i get a copy of the model as a .dae file to open it in blender. you may get those from models-resource.com or you may extract them yourself using ohana 3ds rebirth, though ohana can be a bit unreliable at times. blender's "texture paint" tab also allows you to draw directly on the model, though i don't find it precise enough to my taste so i mostly use it to lay guidelines for me to draw over.
once you're satisfied with your model, make sure to draw the different expressions as well.
eyes 0: neutral
eyes 1: half-blink
eyes 2: blink
eyes 3: angry
eyes 4: sad
eyes 5: happy closed (think ^_^)
eyes 6: surprised
eyes 7: >_< face
mouth 0: neutral/smile
mouth 1: half-open
mouth 2: fully open
mouth 3: frown
mouth 4: half-open frown
mouth 5: fully open frown
you do not have to follow those expressions exactly: for example, being a plush elephant, tusker's mouth moves up and down as he speaks instead of opening and closing.
once everything is done, open the .bcres file in kukkii again and import all of your textures in the right slot (i've found the mass import button does not work for me), then save the file.
step 4: editing names and catchphrases
note: if the villager you are replacing is already in your town, editing the catchphrase in the game's files will NOT change it in-game. similarly, if you are putting the villager in your town with marc robledo's save editor, they will have the catchphrase of the villager you've replaced unless you change it in the save editor yourself.
editing a villager's name or default catchphrase is quite simple, but the new name/catchphrase cannot be longer than the old one. if it is, it will mess up the names and default catchphrases of all the following villagers in the game files.
since you can edit the villager's personality in the game files, simply pick a villager with a long enough name and the right gender. you may also look at the villagers' favourite colors and styles on nookipedia to find one that most closely resembles the villager you wish to make.
since i want tusker to have the sisterly personality, i looked at all the sisterly villagers and i found that pashmina's tastes were close enough, so this is who tusker will be replacing. since her id is goa08, tusker's model needs to be renamed to goa08.bcres
you will find villager names in \ExtractedRomFS\Script\Str\STR_NNpc_name.umsbt and \ExtractedRomFS\Script\Str\STR_NNpc_name_ASR.umsbt
scroll down until you find the name of the villager you wish to replace and change it. the dots between each letter are NOT periods! make sure not to delete them. if you do delete one, or if the villager you're replacing has too many letters in its name, you can copy a dot from another name and paste it between the letters or in place of the extra letters.
catchphrases are found in \ExtractedRomFS\Script\Str\STR_NNpc_habit.umsbt
step 5: editing birthdays, species and personalities
you may skip this step if you only wanted to edit the villager's name.
first, download this template.
then, open up \ExtractedRomFS\Npc\Normal\ConstPack.bin in 010 editor and click View -> Line Width -> Custom Width... and enter a value of 34 to make all the villager IDs align.
next, click Templates -> Run Template and select the template we've downloaded. a list will appear at the bottom of the window. scroll through it until you reach the villager you wish to edit, (it will be highlighted in the top half of the window) mine being goa08.
clicking the arrow to the left of struct VillagerConst will reveal a list of all the data this line contains. i will show you how to change birthday, species and personality.
the page we downloaded the template on shows a list of "cases" for each field . for example, for the species field, we want tusker to be an elephant, which is case 0x01 on the page. we will thus type 0x01 in the u8 Species field of 010 editor. the same thing goes for the u8 Personality field. sisterly is 7.
the birth month and day simply require the date. tusker's birthday is may 1st, so i typed 1 in the u8 BirthDay field and 5 in the u8 BirthMonth field. leave everything else alone.
step 6: putting them in the game
luma3ds makes it really easy to put your villagers into the game as long as you pay attention to the folder structure of the original rom.
on the root of your sd card, there should be a folder named luma, and within it a folder named titles (if there isn't, you can create it.)
within that folder, create a folder named with the title ID of your animal crossing game. that title ID will depend on the region of your game.
you can then create a folder named romfs in which you will place your mod files while respecting the path of theoriginal files. for example, the path for the models will be \luma\titles\<game title ID>\romfs\Npc\Normal\Model
when all the files are in place, pop your sd card back into your 3ds and open the game. if the villager isn't in your town, use wisp and an amiibo card (or wumiibo) to see if they show up properly.
and that's it! enjoy your new villagers <3 feel free to tag me in your custom villagers, i'd love to see what you make!
did you find this tutorial helpful? you can buy me a ko-fi as thanks!
#animal crossing#acnl#acnl hack#animal crossing new leaf#animal crossing happy home designer#achhd#resources
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youtube
the most fun evil thing ive ever made: Sonic Labyrinth 2
download this crazy ass rom hack
so. 'Sonic Labyrinth 2' was a joke rom hack i originally made in 2016. it was for the sonic hacking contest that year, and i made it mainly because i was let into this team called "Team Overload" whos whole gimmick was that there were a Ton of people in it who were going to submit a Ton of rom hacks at once at that year's contest. of course , this led to a bunch of people (myself included) making a Ton of low effort hacks just so they could submit something, and Sonic Labyrinth 2 was one of those hacks.
basically, Sonic Labyrinth 2 was Sonic 2 but inspired by Sonic Labyrinth. sonic's acceleration was reduced Greatly , making it so he moved like a snail. while you Can get speed by doing a spindash, i made it so you can't jump while rolling , which means you have to be much more Careful and Deliberate when rolling At All... as you become nearly uncontrollable when rolling (and it's even difficult to Stop Rolling, due to the low acceleration)
because of these few changes, the game becomes Completely Different. simple challenges such as Jumping Over Spikes or Going Up A Slope become increasingly difficult. however, the game isn't Mindlessly Dumb, as you could still gain speed from things such as speed shoes, going down slopes, and even going underwater (as you have different physics underwater). the game becomes almost like a puzzle platformer , as you have to figure out how to use everything available to you to make progress in the levels (and without getting stuck in some places)
however, even though i liked the unique challenge the rom hack had, i was disappointed with it as the game wasn't really designed around the new controls all too much, and there were too many dumb soft locks all over the place. and also basically No One liked the rom hack beyond it being a Silly Joke.
So , in 2018 , i started working on Sonic Labyrinth 2 Encore. it was mainly inspired by sonic mania's encore mode , with all of the levels having new palettes and the layouts are slightly changed to accommodate the slow controls , along with being more of a challenge. i was actually really proud of the stuff i did for it.... However .... i am Bad at rom hacking. sonic 2 rom hacking specifically is Really Frustrating for me ... theres just lots of things i didnt know how to do , and when i ran into 2 crashes in some of the levels which i had No Idea how to solve .... i decided to give up on the hack. this was also around the time Among the Others came out and i gave up on rom hacking entirely , so . yeah.
ive always been really sad about not being able to finish this rom hack, because there's just Nothing else like it ! the different controls bring up such an Interesting challenge that requires you to be more precise and more knowledgeable on the physics from the original sonic 2... and i wish i couldve done way more with the levels to make them much more of a difficult puzzle. oh and also i really liked the color palettes i made for all the levels.
Idk. this rom hack was Really Evil. but it was Really Fun. if you wish to give it a try, you can download it on github. the source code is on github aswell, but for some reason theres errors when building it and i have No Idea Why. at one point i tried adding one of those error handler thingys but i think something broken and it made me forever sad.
thats all i think. i just wanted everyone to know about this silly rom hack i made
#TreesThinks#Sonic Labyrinth 2#Sonic Labyrinth#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#gamedev#rom hack#rom hacking#romhack dev#Youtube
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Omega ruby decrypted rom
I just want to have Pokemon Omega Ruby, Pokemon Rutile Ruby and Pokemon Alpha Sapphire installed without deleting the original one I will sin paste the same thing I wrote in the ProjectPokemon site: Wow this hack really looks interesting.
How do I do to be able to play it normally without having to suffer with these problems. Load your ROM with your Gateway Flashcard on your 3DS or new3DS with del lower than or equal to version 9. PS: Does the Evolutions mod change Mega Evolutions and also add the Hoopa item too? I would really appreciate it if you could tell me the files for those two, since I want to be able to run a Vanilla playthrough of the game with only hacked wild pokemon and evolutions to be able to catch whatever Pokemon I want in the wild and evolve them without resorting to trading. I just want to have Pokemon Omega Ruby, Pokemon Rutile Ruby and Pokemon Alpha Sapphire installed without deleting the original one I will copy paste the same thing I wrote in the ProjectPokemon site: Wow this hack really looks interesting! I got just some questions: 1 Does the edited Wild Pokemon work so we can catch all of the 720 Pokemon currently available as of 6th Gen? Sort of like a Emu Edition to avoid having to trade for the ones not available in one of the two versions. That's why I asked if it's possible to change the UniqueID when I want to build Rutile Ruby. I have both installed as cia from the eshop legit and a copy of my retail Cartridge which I've sold. Load your ROM with your Gateway Flashcard on your 3DS or new3DS with firmware lower than or equal to version 9. Press a key and the command prompt windows will close. A blank command prompt window will pop up and stay blank for a while. Follow the instructions in the ROM decryption guide to rebuild romfs. Click the banner at the top of this thread or the font at the top to download the. Additionally, since wild Pokémon aren't leveled up, if you were to release one of your Level 40 Pokémon that you'd have ar around the third Gym you'd have a hell of a time replacing it. It's very rare for all six of your team to make it through any Gym battle, and some of the Ace Trainers are equally difficult. Boss battles play out almost like competitive matches, with them often revenge killing you, setting up, or pulling out surprise moves. If you wishing this ROM in other languages, feel free to ask me. Traiver I will continue the translation in german language. The first three people to beat the second run of the Elite Four in each game will have their teams immortalized in the trainers on the S.
Note that Event eggs Lavaridge Town glitch out thanks to this, and wrap around to taking a very long time. Every species now has a 1-cycle hatch rate. Revives costs much more, to discourage their use in battle Sacred Ash is unusable during battle. You should be hitting Level 100 by the time you get to the Elite Four. Every trainer in the game has been edited, and the level curve expects use of the Experience Share, which means that you level up very quickly. Their main purpose is to provide a more challenging game experience while not artificially limiting the player. And I would like to know the following: I can not start Pokemon X and neither Pokemon Y is black infinite screen, and when I use a save from someone for example when I go to pick up the game, the game does not respond anymore, it gets the message from the Pokemon that I chose there, I have to use a save to pass that part as well. Prepare for an epic adventure exploring a world filled with Pokemon! I got just some questions: 1 Does the edited Wild Pokemon work so we can catch all of the 720 Pokemon currently available as of 6th Gen? This is a simple hack rom based on Pokémon Alpha Sapphire, in which were randomized a lot of stuff read below thanks to pk3ds. Pokemon Alpha Sapphire 3DS Decrypted ROM are 2014 role-playing video games developed by Game Freak, published by The Pokémon Company and distributed by Nintendo for the Nintendo 3DS family of systems. ※ Download: ?dl&keyword=pokemon+alpha+sapphire+decrypted+rom&source=
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Something vaguely resembling a masterpost
I know, I can't believe it either, but it's finally in the Team Flashdark budget! How was our budget so low that we couldn't put up a proper masterpost? Sorry, but I swore not to talk about the potato incident.
Anyway, I am Gray Blacklight (he/him), certified non-supervillain and leader of the amazing, totally-not-a-criminal-organization Team Flashdark! Allow me to tell you a bit about myself and what to expect from my blog;
While I don't watch a lot of TV shows or movies, I do enjoy a lot of them. Even with a lot of the ones I don't like, I try to and often can understand why others do, which is something that I'm quite glad I can do - I love hearing people gush over things they love even if I don't care for the same thing. While I myself don't really like most DreamWorks movies, that doesn't mean I can't appreciate how great MegaMind is.
Of course, when I do enjoy a show or movies, I often adore them (Epithet Erased is one of the greatest things ever created and you should watch it). I am patently waiting for Gwain Saga 009 and find myself rewatching Spaceballs several times a year.
That said, what I really love are good video games, heck I kinda collect them.
I am a huge fan of pokémon, especially James, though the switch entries have really made me lose faith in new games. I can't really choose a favorite Pokemon, but I'm a sucker for cute things and am one of the few people who don't consider the babies a waste of data- hell, it was Pichu in Melee giving me a cuteness overload that got me to pick up pokemon X and give it a shot.
I really enjoy a lot of Nintendo games in general, with a particular fascination with retro games and how they do so much with so little. Many of my favorite games are for the DS, but I don't think newer or older games are necessarily better, with Splatoon and Deltarune being all-time favorites of mine, and having put way to much time into 30XX for a game that doesn't exist yet.
Still, with games like Mario kart DS, pokémon gens 4+5, Kirby super star ultra, earthbound, paper Mario the thousand year door, Mario and Luigi superstar saga, sonic 3 and knuckles, shantae, megaman zero 3, super Mario 64 DS, plants vs zombies 1, and so many more, I pity anyone who looked at specs of the latest consoles and assumed that there's no reason to look back.
I also love fan games and rom hacks of many kinds, (I wish I was better at getting them to work) and genuinely believe that the lack of support and respect creators and artists get is terrible. If I mention something that you haven't heard of, I hope you take a look, and always remember that artists are people with needs and wants- they need breaks and money and fun and health and sleep and food, and I hate that so many people choose to ignore that.
Anyway, aside from the reblogging, ranting, and shitposting I do on my main, I have some sideblogs that I make for fun:
The Epithet Erased GunSafety!!!!AU ( @epitheterasedgunsafetyau )(the extra exclamation points are to emphasize how important gun safety is) where I put my headcanons about my favorite show of all time and occasionally describe what things would be like if Molly was a gun safety enthusiast (and by extension the most powerful character in the show).
Hacker's Jpeg reviews ( @hackerjpegreviews ), on the other hand, is a Collab I do with Hacker Deltarune where you can submit your strongest Jpegs and we'll comment on them and give a rating using the same scoring system as Calvinball. I'm also going to make a poll tournament to determine the true strongest jpeg, whenever I get enough entries- I'm always taking submissions!
There's also SMB Super Showdown (@smb-super-showdown ), where I post intentionally stupid playground 'who would win' polls to quench the insatiable thirst for violence that I don't have because I am not evil, and to help the winners achieve GLOOORY!
And then there's The Rollinka Agenda (@therollinkaagenda ), which is just a normal ship-dedicated blog and definitely not an evil scheme to make Roll x Kalinka canon.
I also may record myself playing a game on YouTube, just for fun. I don't do it often and wish I did it more, but I rarely have the time these days, and my computer is fighting me every step of the way whenever I try to do something new with it- heck, sometimes it won't let me do things that I've done before.
Still, I hope some of y'all get a chuckle or two out of my stuff, It would make all this typing that I suck at worth it <3
(P.S. Before interacting, please know that if you are: anti LGBTQ+, racist, sexist, Zionist, anti abortion, against gun control, a map/proshitter/whatever the fuck pedophiles are calling themselves these days, or support the American government, I hope you lose a card game and get sent directly to super hell.)
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#32. (sex survey in here, btw)
What was the last big change through which you went? Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always?
Mmm, it was getting a boyfriend and him actually being long-term haha. And it depends on the change.
What is something fun you have done within the past week?
Maniacs show last night was very fun, I went with my wrestling friends and the crowd was big and rowdy.
Have you ever read any self-help books?
No.
Do you thank the bus driver?
Yep. The only time I don't is when it's super busy and the driver likely wouldn't hear me. Otherwise I always do.
Are you scared of needles?
No.
Do you know anyone who is/was a drug addict?
No.
Do you tend to cave into peer pressure?
Not at all.
Do you still talk to the person you last made out with?
Yep.
Who was the last person you went to the movies with?
My boyfriend.
Do you ever fear falling asleep?
If I'm being honest, a few times I have, but it's just my anxiety acting up. When my heartrate was being weird, I told my boyfriend and he was like "stop being silly, you'll be fine, you'll wake up tomorrow and annoy me immediately" LMAO. Of course, he was right :P
What do you think is the youngest age someone should lose their virginity?
I was 14, I think it should be older than that. 16 is the age of consent here and that's fine.
Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage?
Good lord no. I don't want to get married, does that mean I should just never have sex? Get the fuck outta here lol. If you wanna do that, more power to you but everybody should make their own decision on that, it's nobody's business when people have sex, that's personal.
What is your sexual orientation?
Bi.
What is something you have acquired with age?
Hmm.
Do you enjoy history?
Not particularly.
Have you ever changed religions?
I've never had a religion to change.
Have you ever lied about your gender?
No. People have accused me of it though, I've been accused of being a dude loads of times online. It's stupid lmao, I had a bunch of pics of myself and if I was gonna lie about being somebody else, I'd use pics of a much hotter girl LOL.
Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover?
I have, kinda. I put together a montage of pics of me meeting The Shield guys when I finally got to meet Seth and had it as my cover pic for ages. Now I just have a pic of The Shield as a group xD
What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back?
Bzoink lol, it closed down not that long ago, it was my main site for surveys. I'd also love different forums I posted on to come back so I can re-read the threads I posted on and that.
Are you a fan of the Saw movies?
Not really, I've seen a few of them but they're not really my thing.
Do you ever forget how old your siblings are?
-
Who last talked about kissing you?
My boyfriend.
Did you speak to your father today?
Not today, but he liked my last FB post lol.
Would you ever get gauged ears?
No.
Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
Sure, if that's what you want.
Did you ever give a hickey to the last person you kissed or you guys didn’t go that far?
Hickeys are gross, I told my boyfriend if he gives me, I will kick his ass LOL, so I wouldn't give him one either.
List five of your favorite YouTubers.
Call Me Kevin, ashens, Gray Still Plays, HeroVoltsy and Matt Rose. CMK and GSP do absolutely chaotic gaming videos, ashens reviews knockoff and cheap items, HV is a Pokétuber who plays fangames and ROM hacks and Matt Rose does insane videos where he reads things from the internet.
What pet names do you use with your significant other?
I mostly call him babe or baby.
Who is your best online friend?
All of my Discord wrestling friends, but I get on with Mordy and Donnie the best.
Who knows more about you: online friends or offline?
Online tbh hahaha.
What’s something you find unconventionally romantic?
When my boyfriend attempts to show interest in things I know he doesn't give two flying fucks about, haha. It's so cute seeing him try when I ramble on about girl groups or boybands xD He tries to be interested cos he knows it means a lot to me, and I find that very lovely.
List 3-10 things in nature you find amazing.
Um...
What is one song that you’ve been listening to on repeat lately?
Most of Madison Beer's Life Support album, but "Effortlessly" the most from it.
Do you enjoy creative writing?
Yes.
Do you sleep with just a sheet in summer when it’s hot?
Yes, I have a duvet but I always throw it off immediately when I get in bed haha. I HAVE to have a cover of some sort on me even if it's blazing hot, otherwise I can't sleep.
Do you get bursts of creative energy or is it more consistent?
I definitely get bursts.
Have you ever been chased by a dog?
Yes.
Is your voice high, low, or somewhere in the middle?
Lower than what you'd expect from me.
What’s the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present?
My boyfriend on May 1, and I've bought his present, I'm getting him aftershave and a shirt he had his eye on but keeps forgetting to buy lol.
What was the last book you read?
Reach For The Stars.
What are your plans for tomorrow?
Work, and the gym afterwards.
Is there a gang problem in your area?
We have gangs, but I don't know if they're a "problem" as such. The ones we see just go jogging and are always polite when they pass you LOL.
Do you make your Starbucks order more complicated if it isn’t busy?
No, I stick to my main favourite drinks.
Would you date an already attached person?
No.
When you marry, will you wear white?
I'm not getting married.
Is there anything significant happening this month?
April is almost over and nothing big is happening for the rest of it - next month is my boyfriend's birthday, a few WWE PPVs, a few indie shows and Eurovision. Gonna be a fun month.
What are your grandfathers’ names?
Jack was my Granddad on my Dad's side... I'm gonna admit I don't know my other Granddad's name, cos I never met him :(
Have you ever seen a snake in real life?
Only in a zoo or something lol, cos there isn't snakes in NZ.
Do you know anyone that has been held hostage before?
No.
Can you ever hear dogs barking from your house? Does it annoy you?
Yep. One of our neighbours has this dog that loves to bark whenever they go out and leave it alone, it's so annoying. The poor dog gets ignored a lot.
What’s your main reason for booking taxis?
I don't remember the last time I took a taxi in NZ lol. So I guess the main reason is that I'm traveling and in a foreign country xD
When was the last time you saw your partner (or your best friend)?
Partner - yesterday, he picked me up from work. Best friend - a few weeks ago, before she went to Japan.
How did you sleep last night?
I slept alright.
Do you like candy corn?
Never had it.
Are you bored right now?
No.
Do your grandparents speak English as a first language?
Yes.
Do you remember to turn lights off in the rooms you’re not actively using?
Most of the time, but I forget the hallway light when I come down the stairs sometimes.
Do you have many snacks in your house right now?
Yeah, I have two bags of chips in my room and a few other things.
Do you keep alcohol in your house?
Sometimes.
Did you have a bunk bed when you were a kid?
Yes.
tmi/sexual survey
What was your first “adult” experience?
Does masturbation count? Cos that xD Otherwise, it was giving a boy a blowjob lol.
What’s the hottest thing you’ve done to someone else?
My boyfriend says the hottest thing I let him do is cum inside me! He loves it.
Do you like giving head?
If I'm being honest, I really don't like it, mainly cos it's super easy to trigger my gag reflex and then I panic. My boyfriend thankfully isn't too obsessed with it, he says that getting to do anal, cum inside me and do a bunch of other kinky things more than makes up for it.
Would you rather give head or receive it?
Receive, but I don't ask my boyfriend to do it much cos I don't want to be selfish. If he's not getting it, neither am I.
Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
Yep.
Have you ever fooled around outside?
Yes! I've had full on sex outside hahah.
What are you wearing now?
Nothing sexy lol - yoga pants and a Mox t-shirt. And ugg boots xD
Where is the craziest place you’ve done it?
In a bathroom at a nightclub.
Do you like sexting?
Yes! My boyfriend and I do it all the time, it's great when I'm at work and I get a dirty message from him xD
When you’re on top, what’s your favorite position?
I like facing the guy, so you can see each other's faces.
Do you like eating ass?
It's alright haha.
Would you rather eat ass or have your ass eaten?
Have it eaten.
Do you find older people/partners attractive?
My boyfriend is 18 years older than me, what do you think? :P
Do you like being naked or are you shy about it?
It's fine! I've taken naked pics and stuff.
Have you ever fooled around with more than one person in one day?
Yes.
Have you ever done stuff around other people?
Oh yeah. Once we went to a get together at one of my boyfriend's friend's places, and everyone crashed there afterwards cos we'd all been drinking. My boyfriend and I had sex with one of his friends right next to us xD I have no idea if he was awake or not though lol.
Do you ever fantasize about an ex or a previous hookup?
No.
Have you ever gotten or given car head while driving?
I have, but it's dangerous so I prob won't do it again xD
Have you ever had a threesome? If not would you like to someday?
Yep. It was me and two guys.
If you could have sex with any porn star, who would you choose?
I don't know porn star's names haha.
Do you like getting tied up? How about tying someone else up?
I LOVE getting tied up.
Most embarrassing sex thing you’ve confessed to a friend?
Haha not sure.
Have you ever been caught fooling around?
Yes.
How old were you when you started masturbating?
I was super young like 3 or 4 years old from what I remember.
What was your go-to sexual fantasy in high school?
I had fetishes right from my teen years, so one of them.
What’s the highest number of sexual positions you tried in one session? (feel free to name a few if you can remember)
4 or 5, probably?
Would you suck on anyone’s toes or let them suck yours?
Yeah, sure.
Favorite things to do or have done to you during foreplay?
Oh, everything. Nipple play, groping, mutual masturbation, stripping etc.
What is the riskiest text you’ve ever sent?
I sent my boyfriend a dirty text when he was at work and it came up on his screen as he was showing a coworker something on it LOL xD Luckily, it was one of his friends and they thought it was funny.
Have you ever hooked up with a friend?
Yes.
If you knew there would be no future repercussions, do you think you could ever be a porn star?
Haha maybe xD
What’s an instant turn-on for you?
Petnames like baby girl or kitten haha.
How old were you when you had for first kiss?
7.
What’s the kinkiest thing a partner has asked you to do? Did you do it?
If I said it, I'd probably get banned or get in trouble lol.
What’s the farthest you’ve gone on a first date and did you think that would happen beforehand?
Oh, I've had sex on a first date haha.
Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold someone else?
Be blindfolded.
Would you ever have phone sex?
Oh yeah sure, my boyfriend went to Wellington for a work thing last year and we talked dirty on the phone while he was there LOL.
What do you think of open relationships?
If it's your thing, then you do you, that's cool.
What’s the longest you’ve gone without jerking off?
Haha maybe a week xD
Is there a position that you would like to try, but have not done yet?
There's a few I'm unable to do cos of my shoulder, so one of those.
Have you ever hooked up with a coworker?
No, cos since I've been at my job I've been with my boyfriend haha.
What’s the most memorable sexual experience you’ve had?
There's so many to pick from, I can't decide.
Would you lick someone’s armpits or let them lick yours?
Sure.
Have you or would you try BDSM?
I do, I love it! I love a bit of pain.
How many exes’ numbers are still in your phone?
None.
Have you ever caught someone else having sex or masturbating?
Maybe, not sure.
Would you say you have a (physical) type or type(s), and if so how would you describe it?
I would say no, but then again I think I kinda do cos one of my exes looked a lot like Jon Moxley xD
Have you ever had sex with someone that you weren’t really attracted to?
No.
Is there a sexy scene from a movie or porn that you would want to try and recreate?
Not that I can think of.
What do you find most attractive in a partner/hook-up?
So many things.
Have you ever hooked up with your teacher/professor?
No, cos I did university online, and I didn't fancy any of my high school teachers LOL.
Big ass or big dick?
Big dick, thanks.
Do you like sending/receiving dirty pictures?
Yes, love it!
Do you like to edge?
I do yes, but I also have a hard time holding on xD
Have you ever recorded something sexual?
Yep.
Do you like being dominated in bed, or do you like taking the lead?
I am a major sub haha.
Do you like dirty talk?
Yep.
Do you prefer to top or bottom?
Bottom.
Do you like your hair pulled? Being spanked? etc.
Spanking is amazing, I don't see it as a punishment, I love it haha. And hair pulling is hot too.
Most inappropriate place or time you’ve gotten aroused?
At work. Thanks to my boyfriend sending me a dirty text lol, I was on reception too xD
Favorite sexual compliment you’ve ever received?
Hmm.
Do you own any toys?
I have a Satisfyer vibrator and some anal beads. I think I might buy a new vibrator though cos I think the battery in my current one is dying, I have to charge it way more these days.
What is your favorite position with you on the bottom?
Missionary where my boyfriend folds me in half haha.
What’s one public place where you would want to do it?
Anywhere where it's easy to get caught, but I don't want to get arrested LMAO.
Biggest kink or fantasy you’re willing to admit?
I'm pretty much open to anything.
What is your go-to sexiest pair of underwear or outfit you own?
My boyfriend loves it when I wear this super tight black playsuit, it shows off cleavage and legs xD
Does the thought of recording a video or being watched turn you on?
Yes!
Do you shave?
I get Brazilian waxes, shaving is way too itchy and I miss bits so I let a professional do it for me.
Do you prefer your partner shaved, trimmed, or all natural?
My boyfriend is trimmed, but really I don't mind.
Have you ever tried roleplay? If not, would you?
Sure, yes. Last year for my boyfriend's birthday I dressed up as a police officer and arrested him HAHAHA.
What kind of outfit or clothing would you like to see a partner in?
Hmm, good question. He wants to dress up for me for my birthday, so I guess I need to think of something xD
Have you ever choked someone or been choked during sex?
Yes, absolutely love it. My boyfriend knows how to do it properly without hurting my neck.
How often do you watch porn?
For my porn needs, I mostly use BDSMLR, but I do watch actual porn too.
Last time you jerked off?
Yesterday, lol.
Have you ever done or received a striptease/lap dance? Would you want to?
Yep, I've given one and received one before, I went to a strip club YEARS ago for a laugh and my friends dared me to get a lapdance lol. She did a good job!
Would you rather hear or watch a partner pleasure themselves for you?
Watch!
What’s one thing you would like more of in bed?
My boyfriend does everything I want, and he's always asking me what I want more of.
What kind of porn do you usually watch?
I like pretty much everything, but I always skip blowjob scenes lol.
Weirdest sexual experience?
Prob the time with an ex where my back gave out on me and it legit locked me into place and I couldn't move, and I was on top LOL. My ex thought he was doing a bad job but my back just wasn't cooperating haha.
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KieueCaprie's 2022 Completed Games List #7 (31-37)
#31: Super Mario Land 2 (Game Boy)
Started 🚩: 13/9/22
Finished 🏁: 13/9/22
This game is yet another game from my childhood that I kept playing and playing and playing and playing, so it was nice to find out that someone made a rom hack for this game that, well, adds color! Really breathed some new life into my umpteenth playthrough of Mario's Land.
Sure, it has some flaws to it, like the game being a bit on the very easy side, even without Easy Mode, but I really enjoyed the charm and, hey, we got Wario out of the deal, even if Nintendo barely acknowledges this series as of late.
#32: Metal: Hellsinger (PC, Game Pass)
Started 🚩: 16/9/22
Finished 🏁: 20/9/22
I gotta say, this game has quite the rocking soundtrack, which is great for a rhythm-based shooter. I don't really know what to say about this game besides the fact that I loved the story, loved the locales, loved what little voice acting there was. Everything is pretty good, albeit short. The game can be challenging at times, especially when it asks you to survive a bullet hell WHILE maintaining a perfect beat but I did manage to complete everything on normal difficulty in under three hours so, go me, I guess?
#33: Elite Beat Agents (DS, September%)
Started 🚩: 21/9/22
Finished 🏁: 22/9/22
Okay, okay, this shouldn't be a real entry but come on, I'm legally obligated to play this game every 21st night of September to play the level that has September on it. This time, I had to speed through it because I was starting fresh meaning that I couldn't summon the power of Earth, Wind & Fire fast enough. Forgive me... I'll try next year, I swear!
#34: BONELAB (PCVR, Steam)
Started 🚩: 29/9/22
Finished 🏁: 1/10/22
I played this game almost immediately on launch and boy, it was not a good time getting it to start up. Initially, I had it on an external SSD but the load times were borked to hell and back, so I moved it over to an internal NVME SSD and it started working.
Did I enjoy my time playing BONELAB? Well, it's definitely a step up from BONEWORKS in a few ways, the gunplay and some parkour aspects have been souped up a little and melee seems to hit a little harder than BONEWORKS's foam sword (and not the literal foam sword you could get). Buuuuuuut the pacing and the design of some levels just... weren't getting me. You get stopped almost immediately after finishing the tutorial and dropped into the hub world where you have to painstakingly load up one of each mode and then play a tedious crane game in order to progress, and it's not even spelled out for you right at the beginning! No hints, no nudges, no glowing neon signs.
Also, warning in advance: Unlocking avatar swap WILL require you to progress further into the game before you actually can use the feature that's been advertised. I get that it's to ease you in but the poor pacing between the start and actually getting it makes me feel like I'm just doing chores in the hopes that I can have a slice of chocolate cake.
BUT after getting past all of that? BONELABS is probably a fun sandbox experience, with actual mod support right out of the gate. I've explored Wuhu Island, I've driven around Mario Circuit as Waluigi, and even robbed a bank as Niko from OneShot, and I've even played through the game again as Shrek! It's another one of those "make your own fun" VR titles with a subpar story slapped on top and guns, however Stress Level Zero are VERY good at making physics-based sandboxes at this point, I just wish they could do better with the level design and pacing.
#35: Cosmonious High (PCVR, Steam)
Started 🚩: 4/10/22
Finished 🏁: 7/10/22
I am a simple person, I see Owlchemy Labs put out a new VR game, game goes into my shopping cart and winds up in my Steam Library. It's another VR toybox game with a little bit of free-roaming mixed in based in a high school set in SPACE.
And it has a story WITH progression, much like how Vacation Sim had a story, but the story kind of takes more of a front seat in this one where you have to go to classes and get new powers and solve puzzles to unlock more classes, standard fare. But it's not without its charm.
I absolutely loved the cast of characters I had to interact with and am in love with the little blob critters called Blebs, two of which are pictured above, they're the cutest things ever and you can give them a little smooch! That right there is why this game is a good addition to one's VR library.
What more can I really say about this one? It's cute, it's funny, it's charming, it's an Owlchemy Labs game that, for some reason, has crossover promo with Among Us (pictured above). Yes, I nearly screamed when I found it. No, I won't tell you where to find it, find it yourself, trust me.
#36: Jazz Jackrabbit 2 (Base Game Levels)
Started 🚩: 6/11/22
Finished 🏁: 6/11/22
So, it's no secret that I'm a fake gamer, which is why I keep extolling the virtues of Jazz Jackrabbit 2 and how good it is despite only having played the shareware demo and never actually completing it.
So I fixed that by playing it.
It's great to play, especially on the Steam Deck, although you kind of have to fiddle with the resolution in order to get the game to where you want without the sprites looking ultra small on our modern screens.
Difficulty was, well, it wasn't very hard outside of the boss fights and I didn't have too much trouble with the final boss thanks to a certain cheese tactic I found by mistake. But I still loved my time with the game, warts and all.
Also, I think about the wonderland levels a lot. Funny caterpiller smonk.
#37: Pokémon Emerald Rogue (Romhack, Expanded Version)
Started 🚩: 9/11/22
Finished 🏁: 10/11/22
A couple of friends were playing this a while back and I thought I'd give it a try for a bit, could be interesting. Didn't expect a roguelite Pokémon romhack to grab and pull me in. The difficulty is, well, it's about on par with the Battle Frontier in the older generation games and I absolutely appreciate the fact that they went through the trouble to include ALL the mons up to Gen 8 AND the mechanics from Gens 6-8 too. Talk about dedication.
I'd show my Hall of Fame record but for some reason, it corrupted itself... But I do remember having a Choice Scarf Strong Jaw Dracovish that I got halfway through the run that I stomped every non-Water Pokemon into the ground with.
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I started this hack a couple of years ago but it was soon abandoned since I got stuck creating the pretty complex overworld.
I thought I might give it a try again! The overworld is about 70% done. My crazy idea is to base the whole overworld on the worlds of Super Mario Bros 3.
There are things I wish to add to this hack but I'm uncertain how.
✅ Mario themed graphics
✅Change text
❓New music
❓Bomerang grabs items
❓Select weapon with select
😴 New dungeons (I know how but unsure if I want to)
✅New overworld (70 % done)
❓Automap that represents new overworld
❓Speedup all text
❓Make player move faster
❓Master sword always shoot
❓Make flute take you to certain spot
❓More than 255 coins
❓better hitboxes for items so you can pick em up easier
❓Better use for magic book? (Perhaps tanooki powers to make Mario turn into stone for a while?)
I know there are already patches for a lot of these things (like the automap). But the thing is that I used The Legend of Zelda prg1.nes to make the levels and none of the patches seems to be compatible with this version. Do I have to start from the beginning or can I move my overworld and grapghics to a dissasembly project or a prg0 rom?
(I already started a thread about this on the RHDN discord but thought I should post here as well)
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I would like to wish you an amazing new year Raven ! And I would also like to start it by requesting headcanons. Could you write about Idia and Azul homeschooling their kids (who are elementary schoolers)?
Curiouser and Curiouser...
Idia’s initially kind of awful at homeschooling. The thing with him is, he thinks so highly of himself and his own intellect that he doesn’t think others can “get on his level” and, as a result, he puts little effort into properly explaining things. Idia’s mindset going in is, “I already understand it, so you need to get it easily too. If you don’t, then that’s your problem, not mine.”
He eventually wises up and resorts to using what he knows best--technology--to assist in teaching his child. It’s easy for Idia to whip up an algorithm that will write the perfect, well-rounded curriculum and recommend the optimal lesson structure to suit their needs.
Idia doesn’t really like to lecture, he usually just lets his kid do self-directed studying based on whatever material is appropriate for their age and general IQ and skill. (... You’ll find Idia lurking by the doorway and nervously watching his child to make sure they’re doing alright on their own.)
He often supplements their learning with additional materials (and by “additional materials”, I mean Idia recommends anime and manga that are somewhat related to what they’re learning. Here’s a light novel about wolf girl and a merchant teaching commerce and economics!! And here’s an anime about famous historical figures fighting each other for a holy grail!)
Sometimes Idia will plop down with an educational CD rom for his child for play. It could be a typing game to show them how to type in home row, or maybe it’s a trivia hunt where the player explores a virtual Twisted Wonderland to learn about its geography and various cultures! Idia used to play these games himself when he was their age, and he feels proud in knowing that he’s passing on such great works of art to future generations to appreciate.
The greatest downfall of Idia’s homeschooling is the lack of real-world experiences. Idia himself doesn’t see the point in going out into the world and interacting with it or socializing with other people, so he doesn’t ever take his lessons outside of the home. Instead, he focuses on showing his kid how to do as many things as possible on a computer—navigating the web, staying safe on social media, gaming, coding, shopping, hacking, etc.
“Hihihi!! Everything these days can easily be done online! The world and all its information is at your fingertips if you know how to play with it. Pretty OP, right? ... Y-You may be a level 1 novice now, but if you keep accumulating EXP, you’ll be able to evolve into your final form and join me in the Leader Boards before you know it.”
While Azul believes there is value in every subject, his teaching places a particular emphasis is both on practical life skills and critical thinking. After all, “Knowledge has no purpose if you don’t understand how to properly wield it,” as he often tells his child.
He’s a firm advocate in keeping one’s skills sharp--and that means plenty of studying, practice, and homework to apply what they’ve learned in the classroom to real scenarios! There will be space for his kid to breathe of course, but there won’t be a day where they won’t be challenged. How else are they going to learn and improve? Certainly not by being handed easy questions or busywork!
Azul puts forth the effort to throw together structured lessons and reference materials (study guides included!), sometimes working late into the night, long after work hours. If they’re in need of his personal assistance, he’ll sit and walk them through a chapter point by point. There are, however, times when Azul outright refuses to help (particularly if he believes they’re close to solving the problem by themselves). He doesn’t want his child to become completely reliant on him; they should have the confidence to think and act for themselves.
Azul’s exams and quizzes never lift questions directly from textbooks or ask for simple facts to be recalled; they tend to ask for already existing information to be used to synthesize an answer or to come to a new conclusion. He may even ask his kid to defend their response for bonus points--because knowing how to keep cool under pressure and how to locate loopholes in logic are essential skills.
Azul stresses the benefits of self-care. When you study hard, you should also take the time to take care of yourself. Have a healthy snack, count some cash, play or listen to a song, wade in the water... Whatever will calm your mind! Nothing good can come out of acting out of stress--and what’s more, you’re much more likely to make a faulty call.
Knowing how to socialize is just as important as being book smart! Besides teaching them basic manners, Azul will demonstrate how to barter and worm out of sticky situations--then he’ll take his child by the hand and take them for an outing to see if they can do the same.
“Remember now, little one: play dirty with others if you wish, but you must be honest in bettering yourself. An arsenal of spells, a repertoire of tricks and knowledge... Those are things that you and you alone can hone. No amount of cheating will lead to results if you lie to yourself.”
#twst x reader#twst#Azul Ashengrotto#Azul Ashengrotto x Reader#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland#Idia Shroud#Idia Shroud x Reader#Reader#self insert#disney twisted wonderland#curiouser and curiouser
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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”
PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN
y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.
─── corpse husband x reader
─── soc. media + written fiction!
─── word count: 2.2k
─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand)
author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!
ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it.
Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.
Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge.
But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.
Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”
You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.
But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too.
Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.
That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view.
You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”.
Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.
Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”
Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.
“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”
While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.
r u dating sykkuno?
You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”
the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team
“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”
how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?
“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute.
can i be adopted by ur parents plz
will you and corpse ever collab?!
You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.
Corpse_Husband: yes.
Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.
pack it up, sykkuno
More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets.
“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”
we are prepared
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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.
y/n is a child murderer
“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”
take a break and go eat queen <3
“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”
Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance.
“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?”
The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over.
“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”
Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”
“Your pizza came.”
“My what now?” You echo, confused.
“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”
“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”
Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.
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✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”
If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae.
looking hot, her message read.
thanks, was all you replied with.
You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.
Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.
“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”
You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.
“Glad you liked it, baby.”
He was going to be the death of you.
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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband x reader#corpse x reader#corpse husband imagine#corpse social media au#corpse husband fanfic#social media au#corpse husband x y/n#corpse x y/n#corpse husband fic#reader#xreader#imagine#imagines#myso#make you say oh
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Let's assume a pokemon world where you get to have your way with each gym leader if you defeat them. let's also assume you must use the same 6 pokemon the entire time. The 8 gym leaders' types are the following (in order):
fire
grass
flying
electric
water
psychic
steel
dragon
So, first question, which 6 pokemon (any generation) are you bringing with you? As a followup, which idols are you assigning to each gym and how far do you think you're making it?
Hope college life is treating you well!
Thank you for the wishes CJ! I'm starting this week so here's for the best outcome. This will be a long one, here we go:
• I tried not to use any Legendaries for their teams since they’re just leaders and I tried not to use repeats. I can do rematch squads for them too if needed.
• Weather teams are really flexible and have a lot of abusers, which explains the wildcard picks.
Now as for the squad I’m going with and reasoning:
Landorus-T is quite simply the best Pokémon in all of existence. Intimidate with solid bulk all around and high Attack make it a must have on nearly every team. I know the joke’s been overdone, but it’s just that good and flexible.
Tapu Fini is the special wall meant to sponge hits not meant for Lando. It also has access to Taunt and Nature’s Madness to stop stall + do damage on anything that isn’t Heatran/Toxapex. It can also summon Misty Terrain so Mawile and Garchomp don’t get burned/paralyzed.
Garchomp is one of the best speed checks. Choice Scarf makes it an effective revenge killer and has decent bulk to sponge a hit. Scale Shot sets are also devastating for wallbreaking.
Rotom-Wash provides status with Will-O-Wisp/Thunder Wave/Toxic and provides a slow pivot into the faster threats with Volt Switch.
Mega Mawile is one of the strongest breakers. Huge Power is incredible. It gets access to a plethora of coverage including the elemental punches, Brick Break, Sucker Punch, and Play Rough. Requires a healthy switch in to be effective, but once it’s in, a kill is all but guaranteed.
Greninja is one of the best wallbreakers and the most unpredictable. Protean means it will always get STAB on anything and it has wide coverage for any opponent. Hidden Power, Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, Extrasensory, Gunk Shot, and Low Kick. If needed, it can also become Ash-Greninja which is one of the strongest breakers as well. A wrong prediction of which Greninja set and it’s over.
I think we can win, probably will take a hundred tries though, considering I’m an average ladder player. LOL. This is why rom hacks like Radical Red and Unbound are amazing
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this is part two of my december fic rec! this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 18th to the 28th!! it’s also my birthday today which makes it even more special! i can think of no better way to spend today than spreading positivity! :)
you can find part one of this month here
✰ there’s happiness because of you by @hadestyles | NR | 1k - (so soft, tender, and beautiful!! rori’s writing amazes me always! and this was written for my birthday because they’re an angel <3)
Thursday mornings have always been their favourite.
✰ and it gets colder and colder by @hadestyles | E | 2K - (another rori fic!! once again, beautiful prose! made me feel emotional!)
Harry wants to take care of Louis. Things take a turn.
✰ make my wish come true by @soldouthaz | M | 3k - (drabble from this series) (so cute, lovely, soft, amazing!!! made my heart so happy! this is also dedicated to me which :’) sarah angel chant)
The taste of Christmas cookies fresh out of the oven and peppermint hot chocolate is still heavy on his tongue. Harry’s sweater provides some warmth and it still smells of him from before he left for his internship two weeks ago, but it’s nowhere near the feeling of his arms wrapped around him. Louis shivers despite the blankets.
✰ spirit meets the bones by @hadestyles | E | 3k - (i had to edit to add this because rori wrote another beautiful little fic for me :’) beautiful prose, beautiful emotions, so so so beautiful, gosh. pure poetry!)
The action shouldn’t fill his eyes with tears but it does. These small gestures mean the world to him. A steady reminder that Harry does notice all the tiny, seemingly insignificant details that make Louis him.
✰ 29 Blows by @quelquesetoiles | E | 4k - (super hot but also so cute!! love the concept of the birthday tradition in this one!!!)
For over a decade now, Harry has had his little tradition. It wouldn't be a Louis Tomlinson birthday without his best friend finding new, ingenious ways to make his life more difficult.
It's cute, it's funny, it's theirs, until Harry takes it a step too far on Louis' 29th birthday.
✰ calm me down (before i sleep) by @erodiansunflower | E | 7k - (a pwp and super hot, but also super cute??)
Prompt 24: Harry is a sex shop owner that has a crush on Louis, the shy customer who flirts with him while buying cute buttplugs, lace panties, and collars. One day, Louis asked Harry to help him put on a corset (they end up fucking in the dressing room). Things escalate quickly from there, so they start seeing each other seriously while trying other sex stuff.
✰ You’re Never Alone With a Moon This Bright by @helloamhere | T | 8k - (part one of this series) (WOW this was incredible and i am ENTRANCED! this author is an all-time favorite and idk why it took me so long to get to this series but i’m here now!! and loving it!!)
Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas.
✰ Be a Good Girl For Me by @sincetheywere16and18 | E | 9k - (really hot and cute!!!)
Based on this prompt: “AU where Harry is Louis’ older brother’s best friend. He catches Louis dancing around his room in panties and blackmails him, saying that louis has to do anything he says or else he’ll tell Louis’ family that he wears girly underwear. Secretly soft for him, Harry gives him easy tasks and uses the whole thing to spend more time with Louis. Eventually, the orders begin to escalate and Harry teases Lou about his secret, making Louis shy and embarrassed. Louis loves the attention though, and forms a crush on his brother’s best friend. Lots of feminization, secret relationship, and enemies to lovers. Thank you!”
✰ it’s hard to fight naked by @loustarlight | E | 11k - (LOVED this so much!!! a big fan of enemies/flatmates to lovers especially when there’s a walk-in involved!!)
Louis leaves dirty socks on the couch, Zayn does assignments while he's high, and Harry is hopelessly crushing on his roommate.
✰ Sweet Scary Creatures by @specklelouis | M | 13k - (jurassic park au!! so cute and fun!!! loved louis’ character growth in this in particular!)
They stare into each other's eyes for a while until Louis remembers this is too intimate and looks at Harry’s hands on his thigh. It spans a big portion of his thigh and Louis has always been insecure about how thick he is, so he loves that Harry has huge, dustbin hands that hold him and makes him feel smaller, safer.
✰ hereafter (ad infinitum) by @larryent | M | 13k - (this was absolutely beautiful!! the writing was incredible, the contrast between the old timeline and new one impeccable, and the letters!!! love them!! and vampire harry is always a win!)
"A legacy is every life you’ve touched. And you’ve touched mine twice."
On the coast of San Francisco in 2024 is when Harry falls in love all over again.
✰ Believe Me When I Say You Have It All by @helloamhere | T | 20k - (part two of this series) (loved this even more than it’s predecessor. not to be dramatic, but i’d die for the louis and harry in this series. this whole world has my heart)
Harry had never faced anything in this forest that had actually succeeded in scaring him. Louis was no exception.
✰ Yours to Lose by @loulicate-recs | M | 26k - (so cute and soft and sweet!!! louis and harry were both angels and IAN <3 little cutie!!! so proud of you hanis!)
Louis always gets distracted with his mummy duty and he eventually catches Harry's attention.
✰ But It’s Useless by @thinlinez | E | 26k - (this put such a big smile on my face!! so cute and lovely!! louis was a relatable and adorable menace and harry was a smitten idiot but they both got there in the end!!)
Omega Louis would never guess that he would be trying to hack into Alpha Harry's Wifi. That is until everything changes when he tries to get to know his enemy.
✰ Stuck On You by Writewhatiwant | E | 34k - (so so sweet! loved the aspect of stickers in this fic and how louis found joy in them!! really loved how both louis and harry (especially harry) grew throughout this story and how they found peace at the end!)
Louis’ life revolves around his stickers. Harry’s life revolves around his job. The universe has decided their worlds should revolve around each other.
✰ smoke between your teeth by @soldouthaz | E | 37k - (i think everyone knows how much i adore sarah and her fics but this one just might be a new favorite! loved all the psych stuff, the pining, the rom-com worthy confession <3 brilliant!)
Louis tries to stop his addiction to cigarettes and discovers he's been addicted to Harry for much, much longer.
✰ Your Life Worth Walking on a Bright Morning by @helloamhere | T | 38k - (part three of this series) (it just keeps getting better and better <3 so comforting and consistent and beautiful!)
For all its complexity, Louis sometimes reminded himself, life could always be simplified into a series of forks in the road. Even overwhelmingly big things were survivable when you broke them down to their choice. One path or the other, left or right.
✰ On The Edge by @zanniscaramouche | E | 47k - (so crazy good!! zanni is always amazing me!! loved the ice skating, the hockey, the misunderstandings, the multi-faced and beautiful characters and relationships - all so perfect!)
Figure skating is as vital to Louis’ identity as his DNA, so when his skates go missing right before the last Olympics of his career there may be a meltdown only vanilla bath salts can fix. Well, that and the stupidly charming hockey player he met on the plane.
Harry’s too old to be the wonder kid and too young to be taken seriously in the NHL. As an alternate thrown in at the last second, he fights to prove himself on the national team at the largest sporting event known to man. Or he will, once he gets off this flight and can focus on something other than the fussy figure skater and his stunningly blue eyes.
A baggage mix-up skews both of their perfectly laid plans for gold, forcing the two to work together as the clock clicks towards the minute they’re expected to shine on centre ice.
✰ made for lovin’ you by @cuddlerlouis | E | 53k - (loved this so much!! touch depri/accidental bonds are my favorite and this was no exception!!! the characterizations, the tension, the misunderstandings, the tenderness, the fluff!!! so good!)
A quick, horny decision ruins Louis’ summer plans, but may also lead to unexpected discoveries. Featuring the road trip of dreams, misunderstandings, and a bit of fate.
✰ social cues by @outropeace | E | 56k - (so fucking good!! the slow burn in this was impeccable!!! pair it with friends with benefits, mutual pining, angst, misunderstandings... amazing <3)
To Harry, Louis was becoming as tangible and essential as music in his life. He still was a mystery but at the same time, he was one of the most real things Harry had. He just hoped he could live up to the image Louis probably had in his mind of him.
He could play the part, after all, what was published of him wasn’t as detached from reality. He didn’t think of himself as a rockstar cliche, although he couldn't deny he did sleep around, partied a lot, and did some drugs. But then again, wasn’t that what the majority of his friends back in his hometown were doing at college?
Harry wanted to impress Louis, he didn’t want to disappoint or leave his expectations unfulfilled, so he’d give him the full rockstar experience.
It was a very simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?
✰ dripping like spider milk by @raspberryoatss | E | 64k - (pip amazing me with her talent? a common occurrence. this was so wonderfully written and so well done!! loved the characterizations, the dynamic, the angst, the miscommunication, the pining, the HUMOR!!! it was all so amazing!!)
When he sees the alpha, his brown hair curling around the top of his neck and his broad back that’s filled out over the past couple of years, Louis freezes for a moment. The alpha turns around, Louis’ surprised expression mirrored on his own for a fraction of a second before he schools it into a big, yet shy grin and a wave of his huge hand. With his nostrils flared, Louis knows that he can smell him, too.
They never hired alphas, except for—
“Harry.”
✰ a taste of freedom and sweetened passion by @tomlinvelvetfics | M | 74k - (okay technically haven’t finished reading this one yet but i want to get this up early and i already know this is amazing because it’s LATE and she’s incredible!!! and, i mean, anne of green gables?? abo?? best birthday gift ever!! will be spending the day reading this in bliss <3)
“Are you mad?” he explodes, throwing his hands up, groaning. “I was so, so close to reaching my goal, and your stupid, stalking ass had to creep up on me, hm?”
Harry is trying to keep his laughter in, walking closer to him, eyes soft. He doesn’t like the way those eyes make him feel, an odd, dangerous mix of nervous and flustered, so he bends down to pick up the books, raising an eyebrow when Harry growls in protest.
“I wanted to pick them up for you,” the alpha pouts, and Louis glares at him, getting into position and lowering the pile of yellowed pages over the top of his head.
“I’m a functional human being, thank you very much,” he grits out as he begins to walk and mentally count the amount of steps he takes. One, two, three, for heaven’s sake Harry fuck off!, four, five. He doesn’t let himself be distracted as the alpha walks along with him despite the slow pace, green eyes focused on him in a way that would, in any other cases, compelled him to throw a book in the alpha’s face.
He doesn’t know why he doesn’t do it and certainly doesn’t want to think about the reason, whatever it might be.
If you read any of these lovely fics, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!
*if i made any errors, please let me know :)
enjoy!
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@bookcaseninja and I had a great chat last night about some of my Justice League headcanons. Because I am passionately in lust with four of the heroes.
So here’s my thoughts.
The Snyder Cut was great. It made the whole Justice League thing make sense, instead of being a weird disjointed mess.
Don’t get me wrong, I will always be a Marvel girl at heart, but deep in my wizened Gen X heart, there is a soft spot for DC. I grew up watching Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, Christopher Reeve as Superman, and later, loved Michael Keaton as Batman.
So I definitely have feelings about these characters.
And then they (The Powers That Be) cast such beautiful people into the roles. Henry Cavill? Gal Godot? Jason Momoa? Ben Affleck.
Dude. I’d be the Justice League’s team slut. (yeah, yeah, I know we don’t like that term anymore, but it’s the first one I thought of).
So then… I started having these headcanons. About being the team Comfort Girl. Because seriously, those 4 snap, I’m not kicking any of them out of bed.
Here’s my thoughts on being the full-time, paid Comfort Companion of the Justice League.
Bruce, of course, has you on the payroll as something innocuous but important. Human Resources, maybe? Physiotherapist? Trainer? Haha. It takes him a while to determine exactly the position, but you’re paid to be there. And each of the members of the Justice League make liberal use of your services, although in a variety of different ways.
Diana misses the kind of love that happens between women on Themyscira, just organic, soft, romantic love. Sometimes she wants sex. But sometimes, more often, she wants a date night that is pjs and a being tangled on the couch with a bottle of wine and a crappy old rom-com. There’s soft touch, and being held. She plays with your hair, and sometimes you fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Bruce was supposed to be the one it physically hurt to be with. You figured he would be rough and brutal. Instead he is gentle. He whispers romantic nonsense when he comes, and always insists you stay the night. There’s always a hot coffee, exactly how you like it, waiting on the night table when you wake up in the morning.
Clark is the one who is all restrained violence. You can tell he’s trying not to hurt you, but he’s a big rough country boy with super powers. You are always sore for days after an encounter with him. No regrets, but sore hips, and despite how careful he tries to be, there’s always bruising. He’s rough. The raw power of him sexually is an overwhelming turn on, but he’s literally the only reason you work out.
Arthur just wants to party, get drunk and fuck. He never stays the night, he just rolls away, gives your bum a smack, and presses a kiss against the centre of one of your bumcheeks, and is out the door before his jeans are done up.
Barry tries, ONCE, to woo you. And you laugh at him. He’s such a kid, you can’t really take it seriously. It turns out you make an excellent calorie-dense chicken noodle soup, and he will sit in the kitchen to watch you make it. He deliberately slows himself down to eat it, savouring the rich broth. When he’s done, he stands up, kisses your cheek and announces you’re his favourite auntie, before disappearing.
Victor dupes you into playing online games with you, until you clue in that he’s hacking them in order to win. Then he doubles down and starts challenging you to board game tourneys, arguing that the odds are slightly more in your favour. They aren’t, but you spend hours laughing and enjoying each other’s company. You only ever really manage to win if the game is about luck, and not strategy - the man is too smart for his own good. But you enjoy spending time with him.
Alfred senses that you are sometimes ashamed of your role on the team, and wishes you wouldn’t be. You were hired to comfort the team, and you have managed to connect, on a non-sexual level, with all of them. Except for maybe Arthur, but even Arthur seeks you out just for your friendship at times. There’s nothing wrong or shameful about being a Comfort Girl, he thinks. It’s the oldest profession in the world, and having you on the payroll means that both you, and the members of the Justice League are receiving the companionship you need in a safe way. And besides, you make an excellent cup of tea, and are a stimulating conversationalist.
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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 2
A wise man once packed up his whole life and moved to the country to escape people. That man lived happily, with his cat, his ford bronco, and high speed internet. That man didn’t entertain the notions of his two best friends, nor did he spend the night trapped at what had to be the weirdest bachelor party known to mankind. Who in their right mind decided to have a bachelors party in a haunted hospital? Rocking up in a party bus, the stench of cheap booze wafted from their sweaty skin, there were thirteen man sized toddlers to take care of. Pidge and Hunk both wore their regrets on their faces. Lance taking offence when the loud mouth of the group asked Pidge “Who pissed in her fruit loops?”, the man further daring to wag his finger in Pidge’s direction. Stepping between them, Lance knew his type too well. Daddy’s credit card had brought him everything he could ever want and need, other than brain cells. His arrogance was sickly sweet, stinging at Lance’s tongue as he took a calming breath. Vampires born vampires were supposed to have powers, all he had was the iron will of someone who was done with dickheads. Forcing his lips up to expose his teeth, he locked eyes with his target, hand coming up to take the man’s in an overly firm handshake
“Hello, you must be tonight’s tour. We weren’t informed it was a party, or we would have arranged a little entertainment for you all. Now, we do have a few ground rules. First, please don’t touch any of our equipment. It’s all highly calibrated. Secondly, please don’t piss in the hallways. Thirdly, and most importantly, you ever take that tone with my friends, I will break both your finger and your balls. Now, I’m Lance, this is Pidge, and this Hunk. How about we try this again with some manners?”
The man spluttered. His mate coming up to clamp a hand on his shoulder. The moment between them broken, Lance letting the man’s hand drop. He’d never actually hurt a human. He had his own code he lived by, even when he’d mugged he’d never fought back. If anything he’d been more concerned for the people who’d jumped him. A vampires blood was a curse he didn’t wish to spread. No... No, it was much better to turn the other cheek with the physical stuff, then sob it out over a bad rom-com and some ice cream. His Mami would always tell him how proud she was that he didn’t ever let that other side show
“Damn, man! You got told by a kid! Don’t worry, dudes, no trouble here. This dickhead’s...”
Lance blanked their names as fast as possible, fake smile in place as he nodded. His memory was unfairly good. An unwanted steel trap, where he refused to remember the annoyances before him. Maybe he was also jealous... It happened more than he liked to admit. He’d never gotten to be this kind of idiot, he’d learned too young about the things that went bump in the night. He wasn’t allowed the option of ignorance, sometimes things inside niggled at him, reminding him he’d never know nice it must be to be clueless. Ugh. Pidge had two jump scares planned for the group too... He already had Hunk’s heart to worry about, his friend too much of a teddy bear for this cruel world, and Pidge’s shenanigans.
As the drunk party started whooping, walking away from their tour guides to look at the exhibits in the main foyer, Pidge threw her arms around Lance, Lance snapping out his inner mullings as he returned the hug
“I’d forgotten you can be super scary”
Lance snorted, if Pidge thought that was scary, she should have seen of the court cases he’d been through. Nothing major, but enough for people to recognise behind his appearance he held a sharp tongue
“I couldn’t let them pick on my favourite Gremlin. She might go getting ideas of ditching me for them, then what am I going to do?”
“Be useless and hopeless? Barricade yourself at home and cry over the loss of my brilliance?”
“Mmm... all of that. Seriously, I know you can handle yourself, but don’t let people underestimate you”
“I think it was you, that they were underestimating. I thought that guy was seriously going to shit bricks when you shook his hand”
“He would have been cleaning it up with a toothbrush if he had. You ready?”
Pidge looked up at him, flashing him a toothy grin at the thought of the mischief she had planned
“Yeah. Let’s scare some idiots and take their money”
“They didn’t pay up front?”
“Maybe...”
Lance groaned
“Pidge, you can’t go hacking into their bank accounts. That’s not the kind of law I specialise in”
Pushing him away, Pidge pulled a face
“Then what good are you? What’s the point of having a best friend for a lawyer if you won’t defend me?”
Lance raised the back of his hand to his forehead, faking a swoon
“Is that all I am to you? What about my totally radical driving skills?”
“Your car’s as old as I am!”
“You leave her alone. She’s a priceless family heirloom”
“She’s a hunk of shit and you know it”
“You wound me, Pidge. I’m utterly wounded. Hunk, back me up here. Are my skill not the greatest ever?”
Hunk shuffled his feet, his friend having the habit of worrying his two pointers together even during banter like this
“There was that time we got bog-...”
“But did you die?”
“Well, no...”
Lance beamed
“There we go then. Let’s get this show on the road”
Two jump scares, one phone drop, three scoldings for touching, and two and half hours later, they were finally starting to pack up. Pidge could complain all she liked about Lance’s beat up Bronco, but she couldn’t complain over the fact that it had more than enough storage in the back to load all their crap up. Hunk had fretted through the ordeal, while Pidge had grown bolder, she dished out sass like there was no tomorrow leaving Lance in silent stitches. There was something about the way she said things that turned the most mundane of passing comments into an insult. The girl so salty the world was in danger of running out limes and tequila. As Hunk passed him the last of the camera boxes, Pidge reset the alarm system, the tour bus already long gone from the main road. Sighing as he leaned against the side of the car, Hunk was the embodiment of relief
“You okay?”
Hunk nodded as he yawned, Lance felt a kind of parental concern and the urge to send Hunk home to bed. His best friend was normal a night owl, but the weather made it a perfect night for climbing under the covers as the rain pattered on the tin roof
“Want to come back to mine for the night? I’ll drop you back in tomorrow after Pidge has processed the camera footage”
“I don’t know, man. I think I’m going to be out as soon as my head hit the pillow”
“I don’t mind either way, but you know Pidge is going to be calling first thing in morning if you go home now”
Hunk groaned. It wasn’t unusual for Pidge to call any hour she felt like it. More than once Lance had been woken in the wee hours to listen to Pidge rant about some new conspiracy theory. She was worse on road trips, she’d get so into what was going on, she’d literally jump into bed next to you, wake you up, then talk a mile-a-minute about whatever she’d worked out
“I’ll come to yours. Just gotta text the folks and let them know I’ll be staying over”
Hunk’s parents were amazing. Lance instantly fell in love with the whole clan of them. His family was big, but they loved even bigger. Hunk’s mother baked some of the best cookies he’d had in his life, and instantly made him feel welcome when Hunk left him outside the house, having formally forgotten to invite him in. Lance wasn’t sure if he needed an invite to actually enter, but he’d wanted to respect whatever family conditions that came with Hunk having friends over. As for Hunk’s father, the man ran the local automotive shop. Most people took their cars to Platt for servicing, but Lance knew he had to build bridges with the locals if he expected to last in such a small town. That didn’t stop Hunk’s dad for continuing to undercharge him when it came to labour costs, so Lance usually left the man a large tip. Plus, he knew how temperamental his old girl could be. Originally Hunk’s family had been from somewhere else, his parents selling up to move somewhere quite before retirement, or so Hunk said. Lance didn’t like to pry, not when he had a fair idea of how much shit came with a decision like moving. Hunk had finished his senior year, then moved down to Platt for college, before falling in with Pidge. The pair of them were thick as thieves, but went out of their to never make Lance feel discluded. The three of them making up what Pidge liked to call “The Garrison Trio”. A connection like this was dangerous for him, especially given he was less than human, and he’d had no intention of being best friends with anyone when he’d made his move. He couldn’t help but love them as if they were siblings he’d known all his life... unlike his real siblings who were still a little iffy about his vampire status. With all the crap in the media, Lance couldn’t blame them, not when he was supposed to be a blood drinking night stalker. He’d never even fed off an actual real life human, but the stereotype was too ingrained in culture and after the death of his Papi, the only one he really remained close to was his Mami who now lived in an assisted living complex outside of Platt. Before he’d moved, he’d been her “carer” for the five years after his father’s death. His Mami was the one who insisted she go into a home, Lance pleading with her not to, but if there was one thing that ran in their family’s blood, it was stubbornness.
Besides, the home was actually really nice. Mami has plenty of friends there, there were games and social events, outings into Platt out to places like the Zoo and the Aquarium. It wasn’t home like Cuba had been during his childhood, but if it hadn’t been so nice there was no way he would have allowed his mother to stay there. He also had a soft spot for everyone there. They all laughed over “Miriam’s hot grandson”, occasionally he was pinched on the arse or gently flirted with until he couldn’t help but feel his cheeks burning. He loved his Mami, so on weekends when nothing much was happening, he’d take her out for the day driving, wherever she wanted to go. At 82, his Mami was still full of life. Her eyes had always been kind, and her hugs the warmest in the world. No matter how many times he’d broken down over his curse, she’d tell him how much she loved him. Mami didn’t know that most of her living costs came from him. She was a proud woman who wanted him to spend his money on himself, to treat himself right and to be happy, but being with her was what made him happy.
“Dude, you okay there?”
Lance shook his head to clear his thoughts
“Yeah, man. There’s a bottle of Shiraz calling my name”
“Should I be worried?”
Lance chuckled. He couldn’t get drunk the way a human would. Mix in a little blood and then that problem went out the window. Mix in a lot of blood and he’d be recreating far too humiliating memories. Two glasses at night to relax, three if the day was bad. He kept himself in check, not wanting to let himself fall back into wallowing the weirdness of his life
“Only that Pidge is going to make us do this again. I don’t think they appreciated our “razzle-dazzle”
Hunk groaned as his hand went to his chest
“I thought I could do it, man. We knew where the jump scares were and they still scared the bejesus out of me. I love Pidge, but she’s scary”
“That’s because she’s our resident gremlin. I’m more scared of what she’s got planned for the footage of tonight”
“Y-you don’t think we caught an actual ghost on camera... do you?”
Lance played along, teasing his best friend felt a little mean, but seeing they most probably caught nothing but the sounds of the tour he shrugged as he said
“I don’t know... tonight could be the night”
“Boo!”
The ever queen of the jump scare, Pidge cackled as Hunk jumped
“Dude, you should have seen your face”
“Don’t do that! You know I’m naturally jumpy”
Punching Pidge on the shoulder playfully, Pidge laughed harder
“I’m sorry, but I’m not. Are you two losers done yet? The alarms all set and I sent the curators a message to let them know it’s all locked up”
“Yeah. Yeah, we’re done. You crashing at mine tonight?”
“Dah. I thought that was the plan all along”
“Then jump in already. Wanna make a stop for snacks on the way?”
The town had two service stations, the trip out to the 24 hour was half an hour out the way, nearly half way to Platt, yet his Mami had always told him that house guests came first
“Can I have a super large raspberry slushy?”
“I don’t know, is it before midnight? I’m not supposed to feed or water you between midnight and dawn, right?”
“For that, I’m having two. Oh, I dibs the front!”
“No fair! I was here first”
“You snooze, you lose, Hunkerino. Besides, Shay might be working”
Hunk blushed hard at the mention of “Shay”. The poor man had been crushing on her so hard that he’d failed to notice she was into him. Every time she’d ask him out, he’d say no as he didn’t want to inconvenience her. His best friend was as dumb as a sack potatoes when it came to getting a clue. Hell, Lance was sure Shay could scrawl her feelings across her face in red marker and Hunk still wouldn’t get the hint.
“She’s a friend, okay”
Pidge bumped her hip against Hunks, her voice sing-song
“A friend you’re too scared to ask for her number”
“I... but... she... I...”
Hunk stumbled over the start of what he wanted to say. The poor dude had it bad. Stepping out the way, Lance pulled the back window down before snapping the trunk door shut. Patting Hunk’s shoulder, he sympathised with his best mate something chronic
“Hunk, she’s into you, buddy. You are the best man that I know. You’ve got a whole lot to offer, and any one would be lucky to have you. I swear man. Cross my heart and hope to die, if I ever tell a lie”
“Not you, too”
“Look, all I’m saying is that from my point of view she seems interested too. I’m not trying to push into something you’re not ready for. I just want you to know I’m there when you are”
Pidge blew a raspberry at him, ruining his attempt to be serious
“You sound like such a dad. I swear you’re like some old fuddy in that body. Hunk, grow some balls and get out there”
“I don’t want to grow balls”
Hunk moaned at his own words. Pidge went into a fresh fit of laughter at his expense. Lance cringed in second hand embarrassment. He couldn’t love the pair of them any more than he did, even if he tried
“For that, Pidge, you’re in the back. Hunk, I’ve got your back, bro”
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