#You're not (just) telling racists or homophobes that they suck

[prettycottagequeer]

ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 1 Part 2 (8/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

HISOKA MOROW

He's genuinely (unfortunately) a really cool character and good villain imo, and his character design SLAPS!! He's very entertaining onscreen and even though he's REALLY weird and creepy and I don't condone anything he does I can't help but love his character. I also love his voice and his REALLY GOOD character song. In a character tournament I saw some people saying in the tags that people who like him are "not to be trusted" and kinda saying people who like him are bad. That made me feel kinda not great tbh. I must keep reminding myself that HE IS NOT REAL and it is OKAY TO LIKE HIM!!!! I can like the guy while also understanding that he sucks and his actions are bad!

Why I like this character: He’s a fantastic villain, his character design rocks, his theme song is excellent, he’s funny, he’s unhinged, he has hips for days, and he has a glowing boner. Why he deserves to be in this tournament: He’s, uh, like, kind of an actual pedophile. Like, he’s specifically aroused by powerful opponents, but one of the sources of that is the protagonist who’s like 12. So. Yeah. …Also he regularly kills people, I guess. Have you seen twitter users calling their fans bad people: No but I’ve seen tumblr users do it, if that counts.

He's popular in the fandom but also you WILL get called problematic by tiktok teens for liking him. Like yeah,, I get it,, but liking his character doesn't mean I condone his… less than savory behaviors. This clown is still hot and charismatic and very skilled with nen how can I Not enjoy when he's on screen?

ELIAS BOUCHARD

He manipulates the main character consistently, makes a character cry by telling him how much he looks like his dad, forces the knowledge of her father's dearh into a different characters head and ends the world through aformentioned manipulation of the main character

(this is about jonah!elias to be clear, og!elias is a different character) i love him so much he's so much fun but i'm not very open about it because he's the main villain and some people are very weird about it,,,, i have seen people say he's a personification of capitalism and if you like him you support capitalism or you didn't get the point of tma (which is just wrong, tma is vaguely a metaphor for capitalism yes but also for a lot of other things and elias isn't even a capitalist he runs a non-profit?) so many people call him homophobic or racist (because he's technically from the 1800s) and say if you like him you're a bad person but there are literally no canon basis for that at all (plus. he's literally a fictional character) i have actually seen a parody of the miku binder thing with elias to say that people who like him are just like people who woobify jefferson. which. what. you'd think people would latch on to the brutal pipe murder or the eye gouging that lead to body possession for his quest to be immortal or the constant manipulation to call him a terrible person but no apparently?? (or the. y'know. literally ending the world)

#awful characters tournament #tournament poll #awful characters round 1 #hunter x hunter #hxh #hisoka morow #the magnus archives #tma #elias bouchard

[cuntylittlesalmon]

I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.

i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶

this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been

DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care

APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail

AHB - ashley herring blake

SO!

these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.

which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.

and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol

and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.

which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?

this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:

the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.

the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.

the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).

the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.

and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀

anyway. the radfem-y stuff.

the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.

but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).

delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).

so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.

(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)

and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.

but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).

ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓

#asks #yayyyy being critical about books #TY FOR THIS BTW #i know most of my posts complaining about books lean a lot more into the comedic #but i do genuinely think the bright falls books are like. insidiously bio/gender essentialist #and i hope that people can work to recognize this kind of stuff (i know its a lot more obvious in m/f romance because of the overwhelming #obsession with the size difference between the f lead and the m lead) when its more quiet like this #because its fucking gross to be reading a (supposedly) cute romance only to get smacked over the head with covert conservatism #when the books are marketed & frankly pandered to people who are not conservative! #delilah green doesn't care #astrid parker doesn't fail #ashley herring blake #ashley herring blake critical #i realize that i spent a lot of time talking about astrids book more than delilahs book but. ah well. i read it more recently #and its more obvious that dgdc was 🤷‍♂️

[lunaarreclipse]

DID/OSDD Friendly Discord Server

Hello friends! Are you in search of a fun, super duper awesome Discord server? WELL GUESS WHAT?? YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!!!

I got bored one day so I made a Discord server for everyone to just make friends and hang out. Systems and singlets are both welcome! This is a safe place for all. (except for pedos, non-traumagenic systems, racists, homophobes, etc) fuck off if ur one of those.

IF YOU'RE A COOL PERSON THEN YOU'LL LOVE THIS SERVER WHICH IS ALSO TOTALLY RAD B)

SPACE, DUDES!! What's not cool about that? I'll tell you what. Black holes...those suckers(pun intended) will tear you apart if you get too close.

BUT YOOO YOU SHOULD COME TO OUR PLANET (aka server) ANYWAYS! Just don't get sucked into any black holes on the way here...

anyways...

without further ado, I give you

PLANET ZERO (and the crowd goes wild!! YAAA WOOO!! *cheering*)

Welcome to Planet Zero ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

☽what we offer☾ ✩ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩

➳♡☆➫ space themed aesthetic

➳♡☆➫ safe space for all

➳♡☆➫ mostly sfw and non toxic

➳♡☆➫ cute emojis

➳♡☆➫ lots of fun bots like owo and mudae

➳♡☆➫ support for systems - we have pluralkit and tupperbox here https://discord.gg/hkH3T3VkNu

#discord #discord server #disboard #server #did #osdd #did osdd #dissociative identities #dissociation #alter #traumagenic #system #hangout #fun #social #friends #safe space #space theme #space #aestehtic #lgbtq #system discord #system safe space #did system #osdd system #pdid #osdd 1a #osdd 1b #actually plural #plural community

[jellybeanium124]

it's not anti semitic to be against zionism. Regardless of how zionism intended to start out (whether it had good intentions or not) its clear that today its movement is equivalent to extremism and white supremacy in other parts of the world. Its anti colonial to be against zionism.

I did not bring up israel or zionism or palestine in my post. you decided my post about how a lot of people on this website are being openly antisemitic is me calling out """antizionists""" (whatever you mean by that, because zionism and its converse have completely lost any meaning to me online because everyone means something different when they say those words). people are being antisemitic. I have seen so many posts that are like "when someone tells me they're jewish I just can't trust them anymore idk, what if they're a bad jew??" PEOPLE ARE BEING ANTISEMITIC. LISTEN TO JEWS. PLEASE, PLEASE LISTEN TO US. no one is listening. no one hears us when we cry out. no one cares. you all think we are lining up to suck netanyahu's dick and praise him for his political decisions. we're not. netanyahu is a fascist and the sooner he's removed from power (or dies, hopefully) the better for israelis and palestinians and just everyone.

why did you feel the need to immediately send me an ask like this? is it to defend yourself? is it to quell the idea that maybe you need to look inside yourself and check yourself for antisemitism? because if a goy these days ain't checking themselves, they will say or reblog or agree with something antisemitic. THE WORLD IS ANTISEMITIC. society is racist. society is sexist. society is homophobic. society hates jews. you grew up in society. you need to unlearn the jew hatred you were fed.

the free palestine movement and """antizionist""" movement have a nazi problem. not everyone in it is a nazi. I am for a free palestine. I've been a proponent of the two state solution before most people my age could locate palestine and israel on a map, because when you're jewish you have to know about these issues, and you have to know about them young. I've said this over and over. I keep telling you people I think palestinians should have their own free, peaceful, and democratic state, and you never fucking hear me. you disregard me saying that because it isn't enough. it won't be enough for you until I think israel should be destroyed too. but I will never believe that. israel gets to keep existing too, because otherwise half of my people will die. israel gets to exist despite it's horrible, terrible wrongs, same as america or britain or china. you don't get to call for the destruction of a country that contains half the world's jews. I will never be on the side of history that is calling for the murder of half of my people. we have to stick together. there's so few of us already. we haven't recovered from our most recent genocide.

I've probably been a bit rude and angry in this post. The past several months have been tiring, hard, and terrifying, that's my excuse. I know you, though, you're not some anon. I like your art. we were mutuals for a short stint, until you unfollowed me, probably because you don't like any of my opinions on i/p, which is your right. it's also your right to block me after reading this. I'll miss seeing your art. it's nice. I like the animatics you made, particularly the "I won't say I'm in love" one. it's a classic. it's sad, really, losing friends. not that I would call us friends, exactly. I don't think we ever spoke until literally right now. still, we run in the same group. I recognize you and you recognize me. so I will say one last thing as kindly as I can, because I don't actually like being mad. I don't like arguing. I don't like being blocked. None of this is fun.

Here it is: when a Jew talks about antisemitism, it is a gentile's job to listen.

Same principle as everything else. When Black people talk about racism, it is white people's job to shut up and listen. When queer people talk about homophobia, it is cishet people's job to shut up and listen. When disabled people talk about ableism, it's abled people's job to shut up and listen. No matter how much you want to speak up, no matter how much you want to counter what they're saying, no matter how much you want to argue with them, it is your job as someone not in that group to close your mouth and listen and think.

This can be difficult and uncomfortable. I say this from experience as I am not in every minority group ever. I've felt uncomfortable before listening to people in minority groups I'm not a part of talk about the bigotry they face. this doesn't make me evil, and it doesn't make you evil either. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. Even the best allies fuck up sometimes.

Thank you for reading all of this. Genuinely, seriously, and from the bottom of my heart: thank you. This goes for any gentile reading this, not just Wen. Thank you, all of you.

[moodboard-creator]

hello, and welcome to my moodboard creating blog!

about me | requests i will and won't accept

how do i request a moodboard?

send me an ask! be as specific and vague as you want. if you want any more details to be include me then dm me w them

what do you make moodboards for?

anything! fandom moodboards, name moodboards, general aesthetics stuff! i'll make a moodboard for your ocs too, if you send me a picture of them and some info abt them

do you have a dni?

not really, because i don't think they work. but if you're racist, homophobic or just rude then i'll block you

is this a sideblog?

yeah. my main blog is @the-trail-to-oregon

where do you get your images from?

pinterest, which kinda sucks because pinterest is awful at crediting artists. where possible i try and credit the op of the photo, but it's hard. if you have any information about the op of a photo then pls tell me! i hate ai 'art' too, so if i accidentally post any ai 'art' pls tell me and i'll remove it!

requests are: CLOSED

#moodboard blog #blog intro #pinned post

[junglejim4322]

i am not exactly sure but seeking the approval of people who are homophobic or racist to you, in this case may be the "fawn" trauma response people talk about. or something where you're trying to show yourself you can change or prevent whats hurt you in the past. I haven't got past this myself but there is a lot of writing on this type of thing lately and some of it may be helpful. also, if you think this is the root feelings in your situation, maybe it becomes easier to recognize the feeling/tendency and tell yourself the more rational response of "oops im doing it again. they're not worth my time!" wishing you the best and healing regardless <3

Really wasn’t sure if I was going to respond to this as it is in response to a post I probably shouldn’t have made (you had to be there sorry) but I really do appreciate your insight and I’d never heard of that concept before and will look into it. I do feel it is some kind of attempt to rewrite the past as I really only seek the approval and praise of a certain personality type that resembles the guys I was friends with as a teenager it’s just so sucks to me that I really did think for many years the social rejection I faced back then was nothing like oh they’re low lives it doesn’t matter only to realize there’s some part of myself thats still hurt by it all this time later. Guess I thought I had thicker skin than I do but idfk. Obviously it’s all just residual pain I guess and some negative impulses because of it I know it’s not something to beat myself up over but it bugs me. I agree the approach I’m taking is to just try and stay self aware and not engage. Anyway thank you for your ask i really appreciate it a lot and you’re very sweet

#asks #anonymous

[cdaae]

Thank you for speaking up about the very real issues in tPotO fandom. You are not the only one to feel unsafe and unwelcome in it from fake allyship. Everyone wants to be an ally until it’s time to do ally stuff. I guess many would rather look the other way to keep the peace but how does that feel to the people affected by these things? I wish this fandom would do better. But from what I have seen I am not hopeful.

This phandom can be so great. I've been here for a long time and I've made some many friends and changed and grown so much over the years. I was young when I first got here and I didn't see a lot of the problems. Then I stepped back for a bit. And now that I'm here as an adult and I’m active again, seeing some of the things going on that don't get addressed... it's disheartening. There are a lot of people here that don't get involved in this kind of thing and I get that. It can be messy and honestly fucking scary to call someone out for being shitty. I still get anxious talking about the Jessica situation- she has a documented history of going after people who try to speak up against her. But it also gets to a point, for me anyway, where I feel like I need to say something. And I don't expect anything from people here. Sometimes I'm just venting. Sometimes I'm trying to give people here a heads up about someone they might come into contact with. It doesn't happen very often. Insolentboi was a big one and now Jessica. And if people don't interact with my posts- there could be many reasons. I don't judge, I don't care. I feel like I've done what I can by speaking up. But what does suck is the people who interact with the posts and act like they care and even share the posts in order to spread awareness and then turn around and continue to be friends with her. I know they know that she's a racist, homophobic bully. So do they not really care? Is their e/c fix more important than not supporting someone like that? As a member of the lgbt+ community, seeing someone pretend like they care here and remain friendly with a homophobe makes me feel unsafe. I know I can't trust you now because whatever you're getting out of her content is more important. Even if her book was really good, I can't understand this.

I had a conversation with someone recently that I'd been friendly with in the past. I showed them some of the things Jessica has done and they acted horrified and were so grateful that I informed them because they wouldn't want to interact with someone like that. And yet... she still goes out of her way to be nice to Jessica. I've talked to a few people about it and it's not because I want them to block her necessarily but because I would want to know if someone I was interacting with was a racist, homophobic bully. But what bothers me is the fake show- when someone reacts just absolutely horrified, when they reblog posts, and say things like "oh I'm definitely not going to read her book"... and then they leave a comment telling her how wonderful her book is. It's the people that know, act like they care, but still continue to show her support that are getting to me. This is the fake allyship- trying to convince me you care about the issue but continuing to openly support the problem.

Sometimes it can be frustrating to try and draw attention to a problem and people here don't say anything. I do wish more of the community would be an active part of these things, because that's how we make change. Jessica wasn't blacklisted from the supernatural fandom until the community spoke out on a large scale and drew attention to the things she was doing. I hope to god we don't let her behavior get as bad as it's gotten in her other fandoms before we finally do something or worse, that we never do anything. Everyone deserves to feel safe in fandom.

Thank you for your message. I'm sorry that you're experiencing the same feelings. Phandom can be so great for sharing ideas and making art and just having community, but there are the ugly parts too.

[piqued-curiosity]

"It's so clear to me that people who say we should have more patience and compassion for young homophobes are coming from a place of sympathy for the young homophobes and not for the young homosexuals"

Not that same anon, but didn't you just reblog this? Does make it seem like you're agreeing she's being deeply homophobic as a motivation. Ppl are being really misogynistic to her on anon but that's not your problem. It does seem like you're saying homosexuals have a right to be annoyed at this situation, but bisexuals don't have a right to be annoyed at their rape statistics being belittled, and that the woman that said those things is not a misogynist because you find her and her core message admirable. If that's not what you meant to express in both cases, I don't think you expressed it very well.

I did reblog that. Because I believe it generally, not just in response to one post on tumblr. As I said in my own post, the idea of “be nice to homophobes, they have good intentions/don’t know better” is common. Whether it be religious homophobes who “are just following what their religion tells them! Don’t be so hard on them!” Or elderly people who “grew up in a different time, it’s not their fault”, or regular ignorant people who “just haven’t really been exposed to that stuff, cut them some slack”…or yes, TRA homophobes of all ages who “are just following the dominant ideology!” (Reminds me a lot of the arguments in favour of religious homophobes).

I understand that post was a response to the other post, but I also understood it to be speaking to the problem in general. Which, as I said in my own post, is the reason that post struck a nerve with homosexuals. Because it’s the same shit we hear all the time—that we have to be sympathetic to homophobes because “they don’t know any better”.

I also understood that post to not be saying “people who do this are homophobic!!! Shameeee!!!”…but simply saying they’re coming from a place of sympathy for homophobes instead of sympathy for homosexuals. Which, yes, is homophobic, but different from being a raging homophobe like you think I’m accusing the OP of being (I’m not). Many people’s thoughts (again, not just a tumblr user) regarding homophobia are to sympathise with the homophobe before the homosexual. The thought process is “well, they don’t know any better, sucks you have to experience their bigotry but try to be easy on them, they’re doing their best” which gets really frustrating. Because the first thought is to justify the homophobia, not to protect the homosexual from it.

No, I don’t think the OP was purely homophobic in her motivations, and as I said I agree that when it comes to kids, the approach from adults needs to be different than it would be with other adults. I don’t think she should be being targeted with misogyny. But I’m also just kind of tired of constantly seeing reasons why gay people shouldn’t be so angry with homophobes.

On another note….I find it really weird that people keep bringing up me supporting the message of one misogynistic lesbian a while ago (which I explicitly critiqued when I reblogged it) whenever I critique something else. I don’t think I ever said bi women don’t have a right to be upset at rape statistics being belittled???? Or that I didn’t think that woman was being misogynistic??? As I’ve said before, if people can keep bringing up me saying “she does have a point with the core message here despite her misogyny” and acting like it makes me a terrible person, I’d like to point out that OSA radfems on here actually worship and idolise lesbophobe Andrea Dworkin and never get any slack for it. But a lesbian agrees with another lesbian talking about a specific type of lesbophobia, and “ohhhh we must send angry anons about it because that lesbian was misogynistic and none of her words can ever be listened to!!! Btw read this Dworkin excerpt! Never mind the beastiality talk that’s vaguely racist and the incest talk haha”

And guess what, I also like things Dworkin has said. She has some brilliant points and I plan on reading some of her works because I like the excerpts I’ve seen. Because no, I don’t think we should throw a whole work out because of distasteful opinions of the creator. I myself have reblogged Dworkin quotes, I’m sure more than I’ve reblogged quotes from lesbians perpetuating misogyny…yet I’ve never once gotten anons saying “oh wow, so you clearly support political lesbianism”. This tells me that everyone does agree with me about taking the good parts and discarding the bad parts…but only when it comes to OSA women. Lesbians must never be granted that grace and instead their work must be thrown out if it isn’t a paragon of morality.

#women on here literally go ‘wow the end of this book (I think woman hating?) is Interesting…but the rest is great!!’ #and that’s fine. #but I say ‘this part of this writing is bad but the rest is good’ and everyone’s up in arms #also if you think that’s not relevant imagine how I feel whenever one singular post is repeatedly brought up lol #anyway Leave Me Alone Please :) I’m tired of this #asks #anon

[martianclown]

billy isn't homophobic; there isn't a single homophobic thing he does. the singular sexist thing he does is when he's fatphobic to the high school girls and implies they're cows. shitty but not unusual for a high school boy. as for the racism, people can acknowledge flaws & issues with characters & still like them. why couldn't they like other things about billy while disliking that the creators chose to make him racist? why couldn't abuse victims who relate to his edginess and anger dislike his racism & wish the creators had treated the character better? tf.

The thing with the racism is that it was done so poorly via one vague line, no one can agree if it was or not. Billy shares one scene with the kid and it's like 2 seconds. I believe the first and only time they interact is at Joyce's house when he tells him to stay away from Max (correct me if I'm wrong bc its been a while since I watched it)

Anyway, what I'm getting at is their excuses for us to dislike this kid are weak and all their arguments against him suck so bad it's easy for us to have our counter-argument ready to go. Not to mention they keep regurgitating the same shit over and over, all of us critical thinkers have already moved on from that.

A lot of these people also seem to sympathize with Henry Creel which I find laughable bc the guy killed his family just because he wanted to. He had parents who loved him and a nice house and all that shit and still, he willingly killed them

I saw another "hot take" about Billy recently from an anti that 'If he didn't already want to murder people he wouldn't have given into the mind flayer so easily' as if to say Billy was already wanting to kill people and the MF helped facilitate that 😐 be for real

Examples of said 'wanting to murder' were:

-Trying to run over kids (you're a joke to me if you think he would've actually done that)

- Max saying he would kill them if he saw them at they Byers house (this is an expression often used in the United States, not to be taken literally)

Long story short before I keep ranting. I'm going to like whatever character I want and I'll see you all in hell babes ❤️

#sorry it got long #long post

[the-rainbow-lesbian]

"seeing myself getting generalized over something I didn’t do."

Sorry to tell you this but.

You saw a bi woman saying "I don't deserve to be treated like this", completely unrelated to you. And your first and immediate instinct was to feel angry, call her a liar, generalize that bisexuals all lie about sexual harassment, and then make more generalized snide remarks. Then when you saw proof, you doubled down on telling her why she needed to just take it.

I think that means you kind of joined in on the harassment. I don't think you're as separate from those women as you claim, just the other side of the coin. And you clearly feel more kinship with them than the bi woman just speaking out against it.

I’ll say what I already said, it is totally possible to vent without generalizing an entire group of people by saying the “lesbian community” did this, if a white person had a negative experience with a person of certain race and they went online to complain about them by generalizing them wouldn’t you rightfully call that person a racist? because that’s basically what I did, and you have a problem with it.

idk how long you’ve been in the radfem community anon, I’ve always deleted and re-made and never had enough following to be remembered, but like years ago when this discourse happened about lesbians saying misogynistic slurs it was a small group of lesbians and as usual it was generalized to all of us even when the majority of us condemned that behavior, but when straight and bi women are being blatantly homophobic no one cares except for lesbians, few of us say the wrong we don’t hear the end of it, it’s a “lesbian community” issue, an OSA radfem is being homophobic? that’s just business as usual.

years ago I made a one sentence post making fun of straight radfems who have a victim complex over lesbians existing and I have been relentlessly harassed both by anons and replies, calling me an abuse apologist (when at that time I was still living with my abusive family) and in general just saying awful things I don’t feel comfortable repeating here, only one straight woman came to my defense and the others pretended it wasn’t happening or that I deserved it or I just shouldn’t have made that post as a small blog with like 100 followers….

I never said she lied, I never said this didn’t suck, I never fucking said bisexuals lie about sexual harassment (what the fuck??) all I am saying is this is a small group within a minority, I am in lesbian groups and I follow many lesbians and I haven’t seen this behavior meaning it is not widespread, it is something you can block and choose to not interact with, but lesbians can’t do that, we have to interact with OSA women in our daily lives and deal with their homophobic attitudes, they actually have power and privilege over us and it’s not something we can get away from by blocking someone and turning off our phones.

if you think what I did is harassment by responding to someone as politely as I can then you’re part of the problem.

[angelhummel]

omg maybe someone should’ve nicely explained to brittany why her behaviour was inappropriate instead of calling her “mean” for telling tina that she was a fat unlovable bitch then kicking her in the face, like how is an autistic person ever going to be able to function as a person who isn’t a piece of shit 🥵 clearly everyone else is the problem and it’s actually ableist to say otherwise i’ve said it before but people deadass treat brittany like they are one of those mothers who get the puzzle piece tattoo and brittany is their child

calling her mean is bullying and it's unacceptable </3 what do you mean her homophobic and racist microaggressions are also mean and bullying?? shut up, you're just ableist!

fr tho like the amount of times you can get called ableist for hating br*ttany or lesphobic for hating br*ttana. like sorry im a queer woman who's on the spectrum and br*ttany still sucks ass and i hate her. somehow they're sacred as x representation and you cant shit on that but also i cant say anything bad since they didnt feel like decent rep for me personally? and these people certainly dont have the same energy for kla/ine being above criticism bc they were important rep to a lot of people so like... what do you want? shut up lmao

#glee #lol glee #asks #my thoughts #marloncdingle #anti brittana #anti brittany pierce

[calaisreno]

Be humble, be nice

My little rant on not being a dick.

I used to belong to an online writing community (NOT Ao3). I left after two years.

There were many helpful people there. We read each other's stories, and I got both valuable perspective and practical advice.

There were also not-so-helpful aspects to the experience. Some writers expected critiquers to edit their story, didn't bother to spell-check their work or use punctuation, and wondered why no one wanted to read their story.

Because you had to critique stories in order to post your own work, some writers gave standard advice about adverbs and other "rules" of writing that don't need to be rigidly enforced. Unenthusiastic, dull, cookie-cutter advice.

The thing that finally made me leave, though, was a conversation in one of the forums. Someone was complaining about "bad writing." Writers who don't know basic stuff, write cliche characters and plots, lack imagination, etc.

One comment: "I don't think that you are doing a person a favour by telling him or her they have talent, but...... Why not tell them outright they would be better off doing something else?"

Another comment: "Some people are dreadfully incapable of creative thought - the pretentious horrible stories of nightmares. Others are incapable of improving, they stagnate and never try for better. Some people are unaware that they need to improve."

In other words, there were people who felt it was their responsibility to tell other people to stop writing, that it was a waste of effort, and that they shouldn't bother spending their time writing because they were never going to be any good at it.

To be fair, it wasn't the kind of writing community where everyone was just writing for fun. These were people who wanted to make a living writing. Many were willing to help new writers. But some of them didn't like "wasting time" helping people who seemed beyond hope.

So maybe it wasn't a good fit for me. I only want to write the stories I imagine, hope they don't suck and that a few people will like them. If they do suck, well, just move along, dear reader. Read something else. I don't mind.

Good advice often hurts. That's something we all have to learn if we want to improve-- at anything.

But there is a difference between hurting to help (when asked) and hurting just because.

If you tell me you didn't like my story because you didn't understand why Character A said blahblah to Character B or because my point of view was all over the place, that is advice I can use to write better.

But if you tell me you just hate stories where characters act that way or stories that end that way, or you think Character A was racist/sexist/homophobic and nobody should write a story where characters act that way-- go read another story.

There were also some really good people in that community who were talented writers. Kind, generous people who taught me a lot. One comment on that thread was right on:

"Look: there's a stage you go through (as a writer). You become so convinced of your merit as an artiste that you feel you are in a position to utterly dismiss the vast swathe of scum that collects at your toenails. "When you're in that stage, you're simply wrong. And what is worse, your writing is terrible. It's probably not execrable but it's nowhere near where it needs to be. "While you spend energy on and devour succor from the idea that "other people are lesser than I", you fail to get on with your proper job, which is sorting out your own material. "So take your ego trip and cram it up thy behind. There's always more to learn -- and there are always dumber people learning it more quickly than you."

Sort out yourself. Be humble, be nice. Encourage art and artists. ❤️

#encourage art #criticism #fan art #be humble

[thefirsthogokage]

I know I posted something about this recently, but I'm saying it again (and yes, this is elsewhere by me too):

Primaries have, unfortunately, become picking who win in an election against the other party. General elections have always been about electing the lesser of two evils.

It absolutely sucks, but elections are a shitty game and people need to make sure they remember that.

If you're trying to convince people to not vote for Biden when he gets the nomination, you want republicans to win. It's as simple as that.

Biden is the only one who can bring in enough centerists that typically vote Red to vote Blue. And that's what we need. We are gaining momentum in who's voting Blue and we can't back down from that. We aren't there yet, so we need to vote for Biden when the time comes.

Biden isn't perfect. His handling of COVID had been bullshit, but not voting for him isn't an option unless you want:

Zero exception abortion band across the country, ban on trans healthcare across the country, no more Medicare and Medicaid, children working dangerous jobs across the country, changes to regulation that make climate change worse, and more.

A Republican isn't an option, and if you let that happen, you are selfish. You are actively hurting those of us whose lives will be even more ruined than they already have been. We will be persecuted for our religion, our genders, or sexual orientations, our skin color in every city, town, county, state in this country if Republicans win and being complicit in that makes you just as much of a racist, homophobic, bigoted bastard as them.

The needs of the many need to outweigh your ego. Yes, even though Biden's handling of COVID has been disastrous.

However, you have to also remember people are choosing to be dumb and not mask. People are CHOOSING that. It isn't just the government being stupid, it's people being stupid and not caring for others.

So get off your damn high horse and vote Blue or we're all fucked.

You don't vote for Democratic nominee? You're a republican. Which means you're a bigot (religious, gender, race, against queers), you hate the environment, you hate the right to chose, you hate children and want them to die of gun violence, you hate the poor, & you love the rich.

Don't be that. Don't be that person. Whether someone telling you to not vote for the Democratic nominee knows it or not, they're an agent of the Republican party. So you don't want the republicans to win? Suck it up and Vote Blue

#vote blue #vote blue always #us politics