#and i hope that people can work to recognize this kind of stuff (i know its a lot more obvious in m/f romance because of the overwhelming

[cuntylittlesalmon]

I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.

i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶

this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been

DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care

APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail

AHB - ashley herring blake

SO!

these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.

which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.

and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol

and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.

which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?

this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:

the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.

the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.

the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).

the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.

and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀

anyway. the radfem-y stuff.

the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.

but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).

delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).

so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.

(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)

and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.

but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).

ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓

#asks #yayyyy being critical about books #TY FOR THIS BTW #i know most of my posts complaining about books lean a lot more into the comedic #but i do genuinely think the bright falls books are like. insidiously bio/gender essentialist #and i hope that people can work to recognize this kind of stuff (i know its a lot more obvious in m/f romance because of the overwhelming #obsession with the size difference between the f lead and the m lead) when its more quiet like this #because its fucking gross to be reading a (supposedly) cute romance only to get smacked over the head with covert conservatism #when the books are marketed & frankly pandered to people who are not conservative! #delilah green doesn't care #astrid parker doesn't fail #ashley herring blake #ashley herring blake critical #i realize that i spent a lot of time talking about astrids book more than delilahs book but. ah well. i read it more recently #and its more obvious that dgdc was 🤷‍♂️

[erwinsvow]

“rafe, i want a soda,” you tell your boyfriend from your comfortable seat, settled under your blanket waiting for the movie to start. rafe’s talking to kelce and topper about something quietly, adjusting his backwards cap and staring straight ahead—at people you recognize as the pogues he’s been terrorizing as of late. you rise from your position, tapping his shoulder to get his attention. kelce and topper stop talking, getting into their chairs when rafe turns to talk to you.

“yes, princess? what now?” 

you should be good—rafe always tell you to keep your nose out of his business stuff, especially when he’s making his rounds at a party trying to sell coke. you usually always comply anyways, not asking questions since the first time and not caring either, as long he swears he’s safe and not doing as much of the stuff as he used to—but this isn’t about his business. you can tell there’s something going on with those pogues and he’s planning something that you want to make him stop.

“movie’s starting. and i want a soda.” 

“kelce, give her your soda,” rafe says, turning back around to finish his conversation, when you interrupt. you shake your head at kelce, who holds the pepsi can in his hand, stopping right as he was about to toss it to you.

“it’s not diet, rafe,” you comment with a sweet smile, hoping you can distract him from whatever he’s trying to talk about with his boys.

“really kid? i think you’ll be fine-”

“please, rafe?” you interrupt again, pouting. he shouldn’t have given up so easily—but your pout is one of those things he can’t resist. 

“pain in my ass, kid, really.” you smile at rafe, thanking him while he grumbles. “you better sit tight and watch this stupid movie after this-”

“popcorn too! do you guys want anything?” you turn, asking kelce and topper.

“all good, thanks princess.” you crinkle your nose and turn back, not really liking it when anyone but rafe addresses you like that—it feels like a joke when they say it.

rafe comes back with your stuff, handing it to you with a roll of his eyes, but you notice he’s smiling when you thank him. you curl up next to him on the same chair, head on his chest trying to watch the movie. you notice he’ll turn to look at kelce and topper, and then the pogues sitting ahead of you. 

each time he starts looking, you try to distract him, bringing your straw or a piece of popcorn up to his mouth, and then he looks down at you instead, with a sweet smile and a kiss to the top of your head. 

you should have guessed it would only work for so long—the two pogue boys get up and the three boys with you rise instantly too. in a desperate attempt to keep him with you, you drop the soda onto the grass and call to your boyfriend before he gets too far.

“rafe, uhm, this spilled so i need a new one-”

“one minute, princess, i’ll be right back-”

“no, rafe, wait-” but he’s gone before you can say or do anything else.

you sit in the lawn chair, too distracted to focus on the movie, worried about what rafe is gonna do to them. it’s only a few minutes later that you hear screaming, and look up to see the entire projector screen aflame. you get up immediately, panicking at the horde of people trying to get away, when you take a step backwards and bump into something hard. you yelp, but familiar hands hold you hard and guide you out back to the parking lot, hands that can only belong to your boyfriend.

you don’t get a clear look at rafe until he parks at tannyhill—a pink and red lesion on his cheek that wasn’t there before. 

“rafe, your face-”

“kid, why d’you think i’m trying to take care of business with these pogues? huh?” you’re silent, not able to compose any kind of answer that would make sense. 

“i-i don’t-”

“exactly. you don’t know. these, these pogues? they’re fuckin’ crazy. they held a gun to top’s head. they set that fire, not carin’ who would get hurt.” he watches you stare at him with big eyes and parted lips, taking in everything he’s saying. he knows it’s a little manipulative, not giving you any context or telling you he caved in pope’s face with a nine-iron. you’re listening, and paying attention, finally. “let you get away with a lot of stuff, kid. don’t make me regret it.” 

like he doesn’t know why you make him go buy soda or try to distract him with a kiss at the beach or at the club. he brushes it aside because he likes to let you think you’re getting away with it.

“have you learned your lesson about interferin’?” you nod eagerly. “good girl. now c’mon.” he takes you upstairs to his bedroom and lets you apologize down on your knees.

“good fuckin’ girl-” is what comes out of rafe’s mouth when you settle infront of him, on your knees, hands unbuckling his belt. he repeats it, but it comes out as a grunt when you take him into your mouth, big, watery eyes staring up at him while you impale your throat with his thick cock. he wipes the tears away with his free hand, the other one gripping your hair while he slides your mouth up and down with his motions.

“that’s right, nothin’ to say now, huh? good girl, don’t worry, i’ll forgive you. you gonna meddle again? hm?” he pulls you off, your mouth letting go with a little pop sound. 

“no, no, never again-”

“good girl,” and he brings your mouth right back.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #reposting since it was so dead earlier!

[demieyesore]

You - Theodore Nott

Currently listening to Hollywood undead while I write this fanfic, anyways I’m a big whore (unfortunately) and I see that currently my poll is around the same votes for Mattheo and Theo…so this one will be for Theo (since my first fanfic was for Mattheo) and then my next fanfic after this one will be Mattheo x Reader x Theo bc I absolutely love men and poly relationships‼️

Summary - Theo notices someone being too handsy with GN!Reader in class and gets possessive

Warnings / Mentions - Reader is not in a specific house, no use of Y/n, kind of strangers to lovers? Reader is friends with the golden trio, Harry is the one being touchy, Possessive!Theo, Yandere!Theo, Stalker!Theo (but doesn’t really mention anything creepy except claiming the Reader)

I am willing to make a smutty part two of this if anyone wants it and I hope y’all recognize what I’m loosely referencing in this fic at the end LOL

Requested - No

POV - 1st person

Word Count - 1979

I fiddle with my tie, trying to re-adjust the cloth as it hangs loosely around my neck. I had originally loosened it because it had gotten really hot in the class room but that can be expected when you’re working on potions from time to time.

Harry was assigned to be my potions partner. Ron and Hermione were sat next to us as we read off all the needed ingredients.

Harry begins listing the items while counting them on his fingers in 3s. Once he’s mesmerized part of the ingredients, his eyes drift towards me. His eyebrow quirks up when he sees me struggling with my tie.

Immediately he forgets the stuff we need as he reaches over to my tie, gently removing my hands from the area as he re-adjusts it for me. A small blush forms on my face at how close he has gotten. I can very easily see his scar up close and how his glasses are settled on his nose.

Has he always been this pretty?

As if on command, his hands drop from my tie. I look down at his hands and back up as he gives me a cute but awkward looking smile.

The kind of smile you give someone when you realize just how close you are before moving away.

Harry stands and goes to grab the ingredients.

Hermione smiles at me with a grin that just screams, “I told you he liked you.”

I roll my eyes at her, watching as Ron fucks up something in their potion, causing his eyes to go wide. Hermione’s attention is redirected as she hits the back of his head, pushing him over to fix whatever he’s done.

As I wait for Harry, I look around the room. Some people are already done with their potions, some are restarting. And by restarting, I mean that Seamus’ is covered with dust and his hair is everywhere.

Well now I know why it’s so hot in here.

My eyes wander next to him to see the next table of students. At this table, Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott are sitting and just talking.

Looks like they’ve finished their potion.

I realize that Theo is looking at me and quickly look away.

I’ve talked to him a few times before but I really tried to stay away from his friend group. Except Enzo and Blaise, they’re really the only two I get along with well.

Being friends with the golden trio is nice but that just means that Draco’s friend group bitches about it all the damn time.

Harry walks back over, holding a tray in one hand with everything we need. He stands behind me, placing his free hand on my shoulder as he leans over me in order to place the tray on the table.

My eyes widen as a reaction at the touch. It’s not necessarily a touch that most people would think about however, I wasn’t used to people being physical with me.

#TouchStarved, I think to myself before cracking a smile at my own humor.

Theo and Blaise’s table is right behind where Hermione and Ron are sitting so I furrow my eyebrows when I see Theo staring directly at me still.

Ah shit he looks pissed.

I avoid eye contact with him because we all know that a mad Slytherin really isn’t someone you want to be around. Although I can’t help but wonder if he’s pissed at me for something. I never talk to his friends though so there shouldn’t be any problem.

I brush it off as Harry begins speaking.

“Alright. Um- could you hand me that knife?” I nod at his question, grabbing the blade next to me and handing it to him. He nods in appreciation.

Soon enough the potion is done and was a great success. Harry and I were really happy with how it turned out since this would be very important for our grade.

Harry and I smiled at each other and raised our arms, celebrating the victory. Harry’s hands make contact with mine in a double high five. At this I smile even bigger, entwining our hands before he pulls away.

We begin laughing as Ron groans, upset with how his potion was turning out. Hermione rolled her eyes before grinning at the Potter boy and I.

Harry had the greatest idea of standing up from his stool and pulling me to stand with him. Our hands were still locked as he began to make me dance with him. At first we were doing the waltz that we were taught for the Yule ball but after he spinned me, I came back to him and instead of having our hands together, he settled for placing his hands on my hips.

He began using his hands to guide my hips in a very different dance than the waltz.

My hands were around his neck as my hips swayed from the pressure of his hands. And honestly if we were at a party this would seem extremely sexual, but since it’s just Harry and I, it’s platonic fun.

Although it definitely brought yet another blush to my face, but I was like 100% sure that Harry didn’t like me. I think he’s just a very physical person when he becomes close with people.

The Professor looks over at us, staring us down as we both laugh before scrambling away from each other. Rushing to sit down before we got yelled at.

Once the Professor looks away, a note flies over and hits Harry in the glasses. He picks up the note with his eyebrows tensed in confusion. We both look over from where it came from and it was definitely from Theodore Nott.

The only way I could be sure is when I saw him motion for Harry to read the note.

I watch as Harry reads over the words. Clearly becoming more and more confused, stealing glances between me and the note.

“What is it? What’s it say?” I vocalize, inquisitively.

He shakes his head as if he were clearing an echa sketch. But instead of a drawing, he was clearing his thoughts.

“Ah- um- it’s nothing really.” Harry stutters, licking his bottom lip. Which I’ve become aware is one of his nervous signals.

His eyes connect with Theodore, who in return stares back. His stare is clearly more frightening since he has what I like to call “dead eyes”.

Those eyes are absolutely gorgeous but when the light fades from them when he’s pissed, it’s the most terrifying thing.

I make eye contact with Hermione, having a conversation with just our eyes. Asking about what’s happening seeing as the two boys look like they’re holding back to urge to jump the tables and punch each other in the face.

Granger shrugs.

I quickly try to gain control of the situation again by calling the brunettes name. “Harry?”

“Hm?” Instead of breaking eye contact with Nott, he just makes a hum of acknowledgment.

“What’s wrong? What did the note say?” I whisper to him, trying to cover our chat from Theodore.

Potter doesn’t make an effort to say anything, instead he throws the note in front of me to read. I pick up the note and begin reading from left to right.

“Back off from what I’ve been trying to claim.” Is the only sentence written on the piece of parchment.

My mouth drops open in surprise, my mind immediately drawing the dots together like Stiles does in teen wolf.

Man he’s a smart character. But also really stupid.

I get off track with my thinking, refocusing on the important thing at hand.

But honestly, I don’t care all that much. Is that a bad thing?

Now that I know why they’re both death glaring at each other, I can only feel my stomach erupt into butterflies.

I crumple up the note, trying to be sly as I slip it into my pocket but I see as Harry’s jaw clenches and Theo now has a shit eating grin on his face.

It lasts for a couple more seconds before Potter breaks eye contact first, scoffing at the Slytherin. Harry stands abruptly and turns to leave the classroom. Ron following after him as I hear the ginger exclaim, “Bloody hell mate!”

Hermione and I look at each other again, an expression on our faces that is making it very evident that we both thought that was attractive.

Like oh my god, two guys getting jealous and possessive over me.

Perhaps it is wrong to find it attractive but I love feeling wanted.

Class soon ends after that, Harry and Ron never returning back for anything. Hermione is left to pick up after them while I exit the class. Hermione agreed to cleaning up, knowing that my next class is basically across the school and with all the moving staircases and students. It’s just torture to arrive on time.

I walk as swiftly as I can, dodging people and walking between random people in order to reach my destination.

But before I reach my class, a hand is promptly placed on my upper back. I look over my shoulder to see Theodore standing tall over me. His hand still resting on the small of my back, showing his possessive and dominant side. Practically towering over me as he guides me over to a private area.

Which happened to be a janitor’s closet. He opened the door and gently but still roughly shoved me inside. He steps in after me, clicking the lock.

I was about to speak up but he cut me off.

“I want to make you mine.” He said with a completely straight face as he put it bluntly. His voice low and deep as he kept eye contact with me.

I froze with my eyes wide as a small smirk formed on his lips.

“What? Cats got your tongue, Amore Mio”

Oh okay that got me a little bit.

I feel a small wave of attraction wash over me, something so intense for just a moment it could visually be seen in my eyes.

“Oh oh ohhhh, you like it when I speak Italian don’t you, Dolcezza?” He inquires, his eyes searching my face for some kind of a reaction as a smile grows on him.

And the answer to that question is 1000% yes but why would I admit that???

Unfortunately my body betrays me as I swallow anxiously, giving him the flustered response he was hoping for.

He could literally be calling me a cunt in Italian and I wouldn’t know except based on his tone but I would still find it attractive.

His captivating eyes look down at my lips as he closes the space between us. He slowly looks back up into my eyes as he gets on his knees in front of me.

Oh I like that too.

Theo grabs my arm gently, placing a kiss on my inner wrist as he still keeps eye contact.

My stomach flips and I shuffle a little closer to him.

“Can I kiss you?” He questions, and holy shit I swear to god if he doesn’t look away I will because his eyes are literally hypnotic.

I nod but it’s not enough for him. His eyes are trained on me, pulling me down to be level with his height.

“Words.” Is all he says. Yet it’s such a powerful thing for me to hear right now.

“Yes, yes you can kiss me.” My face heats up, I turn my head away from him out of embarrassment. But he just grabs my face with his hands, aligning the kiss.

He hovers over my lips for a moment,

“If I wasn’t about to kiss you, I would’ve beat Harry bloody for the way he touched you.”

And just like that, our lips meet.

#slytherin boys #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x you #theodore nott x you #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #yandere theodore nott #theodore nott #harry potter #possessive #stalker #yandere #lorenzo zurzolo

[janeyseymour]

hiii!! i love your writing and i hope you’re doing well <3 i was hoping to request a melissa x reader with “causal” work crush between the two of them. reader is a very put together teacher during school hours but a trendy aesthetic person off campus. mel comes across reader at the grocery store and is astonished at the revealing alternative style and sexy tattoos. reader gets super nervous and shy once mel teasingly approaches. no one at work has ever seen her like this but especially not her crush melissa

oh wow, this one... nice. written as i procrastinate cleaning my house!

Personal and Professional

wc: ~2.4k

You grew up hearing from both of your parents that you should never mix the personal with the professional. So you compartmentalize. You’ve always done it. You kept school life away from home life when you could, and now you keep your work life away from your home life. That’s not to say that you aren’t friends with your coworkers at school. It’s just that it’s much easier to keep professional Y/N and personal Y/N separate.

And the personal and professional you are two entirely different people.

You see, at school, you’re ‘Miss Y/N’. You keep it all together. You’re buttoned up, you’re conservative in your clothing style, and you strive to maintain that aura of professionalism that you see coming off of people like Barbara Howard. You’re pretty damn good at it too. You’re kind, you allow your coworkers to see small bits of your home life (“Oh, I’ll probably just do some grocery shopping before laying on my couch for the entirety of the weekend… maybe I’ll go to the gym,” is your usual response when they ask what you’re doing over the weekend), and the teachers have all come to respect you once you settled into your position.

But once the school hours are over and you can let your hair down, both figuratively and metaphorically, you trade out your blouse and sweater or blazer for more form-fitting and revealing shirts, pants that aren’t slacks, and you change your flats to your doc martens that you’ve been rocking since the eleventh grade. You take out the clear stud and put in your nose ring, and exchange earrings different from the delicate hoops you wear to school. Your multiple tattoos show in your street clothes, and you love it. 

You’re not entirely sure how your coworkers would feel if they knew that this was how you presented yourself outside of the school, but it doesn’t matter. They’re so used to seeing you all done up to teach that even if they did see you outside of school, they probably wouldn’t recognize you. You sure as hell wouldn’t go out of your way to say hello if you saw one of them outside of campus.

But then things start to change about six months into working at Abbott.

Shit. You have a thing for one of your coworkers- Melissa Schemmenti to be exact. It��s a very casual and silly thing the two of you have going on, really. She flirts with you, you flirt with her; it’s all in good fun. You know that you’ll never act on it though because you keep your many lives as far away from each other as possible, even going as far as grocery shopping a few streets over from where you know most of your coworkers go in order to not run into them. You’ve never had an issue with running into anyone outside of the school anyway- why would that change?

“What are your plans for the weekend, hot stuff?” Melissa flirts with you while you’re eating lunch. “And don’t give me your usual answer… you gotta have more of a life than what you lead on, miss mysterious.”

You roll your eyes. “You wish I was with you.”

She hums in lieu of an answer before asking you again, “What are your plans for the weekend?”

“Honestly?” you chuckle. “Probably some grocery shopping, I have a friend coming over tomorrow, and then Sunday is a day to grade and veg out on the couch while I catch up on some shitty reality tv.”

“Sounds riveting,” the redhead jokes.

“Well, what do you have going on?”

“Nothin’,” she grins. “I fully plan on staying in my Eagles sweatshirt and catching up on laundry and some chores- probably have some wine while I’m at it. Care to join me on Sunday after I go to church?” She’s never asked you if you wanted to hang out outside of work before, and it throws you for a loop. You nearly choke on your salad.

“Oi,” she huffs playfully. “I was just messin’. I don’t want to have to endure any of that shit reality tv in my house.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “I wouldn’t want you to have to sit through that either.” The two of you finish up your lunches and head back to your classrooms to deal with your monsters for the rest of the Friday.

“See you Monday, babe,” Melissa winks at you as she closes the door to her classroom and locks it.

“Oh, counting down already, I see,” you roll your eyes. “See you Monday, babe.”

When you get home, you change out of your stuff work attire and into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You change out your jewelry for the things you prefer. You fully plan on laying on your couch with a bottle of wine on this lazy Friday night, but when you get home you realize that you finished off your favorite white last weekend. With a sigh, you go into your bedroom to change into some nicer street clothes- you would rather be caught dead than wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt out in public. At the front door, you pull on your docs, and then you’re off to the grocery store.

If you’re there now, you decide it’s best to just get your grocery shopping for the week out of the way. You grab a cart and start perusing the aisles like you usually do.

You have a few things in your cart when you find yourself in the aisle with the wines and beers, and you’re currently pouring over the selections. What would your friend want? Probably just some Yuengling. So you throw a case of that into your cart before turning to look for the wine that you love. Little do you know, Melissa is turning her cart down the aisle that you’re currently in, and she recognizes you almost immediately.

You look so starkly different than she’s used to seeing you. If she’s being honest, she’s a little thrown off with your outfit. She’s so used to seeing you in your work attire, your hair either in a neat, low bun or down. But here? This look is entirely different from what she was expecting you to be done up in outside of work. She of course knew that you wouldn’t always be dressed like a teacher, but wow. She was not expecting this. You’re in a pair of tighter, ripped black jeans, you have a tank top on, and your hair is thrown up into a stylish messy bun with a few pieces strategically pulled out to give off the appearance that it’s an effortless look (it is for you). Is that a tattoo on your shoulder that she sees? And a tattoo on your arm? How has she never noticed that before? You have a cartilage piercing, bold earrings for your first and second, and… is that a nose ring? She didn’t even know you had your nose pierced. If Melissa’s honest with herself, it only makes you that much more attractive.

You turn, satisfied with your decision, and pop the bottle into the top of your shopping cart. You make eye contact with the redhead that is practically drooling over the sight of you. You give her a shy wave, but you don’t dare to interact. Don’t mix the personal from the professional. The woman snaps out of her own trance and waves back with a curious look.

You continue down the aisles, and you think that you’re in the clear from Melissa- you acknowledged her, that’s all you had to do. She goes on her way too, but the two of you run into each other again during checkout.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” she winks at you as she starts putting her groceries up on the conveyor belt. “Never pegged you as a beer girl.”

“Hey,” you say softly, shyly. “It- it’s actually for my friend.” That also throws Melissa for a loop. At school, you’re so confident, quick to make a remark. But now, you sound like you have something caught in your throat, and you nervously tuck one of the loose strands of hair behind your ear, as if that would make you more professional looking. “I’ve never seen you around here before?”

“I usually go to the one that everyone else goes to, but they were out of my wine, so…” she gestures to it before putting it up on the belt. “It was worth the extra ten minute drive though if it means I get to see you.” She winks at you with those emerald green eyes of her, but you don’t reciprocate. You nervously worry your lip between your teeth, as if you have no idea what to say.

Melissa understands your hesitation and shrugs. The two of you stand in line together awkwardly. She’s rung up, and as she leaves, you call a gentle, “Have a good weekend, see you Monday.”

She turns and blows a kiss your way, waving flirtatiously before leaving.

Your weekend is nice. Your friend comes over, you go out to the clubs, and you almost forget about the encounter that you had with the hot redheaded second grade teacher.

The small break from work is over all too soon, and you find yourself somewhat dragging yourself into Abbott on Monday, but duty calls. You’re back to wearing your lightly colored blouse and a sweater over top to cover the tattoo that you didn’t feel like putting makeup over today, you’re back in your dress pants and flats. You didn’t even bother to do your hair, just simply brushing it and letting it cascade over your shoulders instead.

You enter the staff lounge and it’s empty, as it always is. You’re always the first one in. Whoever comes next is always a mystery, but today, it’s Melissa Schemmenti. Of course it is. Without anyone else there to buffer, you know she is absolutely going to bring up your meeting on Friday night.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” the redhead says suavely. “Have a nice weekend?”

“Yeah, babe,” you shoot out. The coffee pot dings. “You want some?”

“You know I always do,” she sighs out as she makes a move for the cabinet with the mugs inside. She grabs hers before sauntering over to you. The second grade teacher hands you the mug before cozying up to you.

“For you,” you roll your eyes as your pour the scalding hot liquid into her cup.

“Thanks, babe,” she smirks and winks. “So… when were you goin’ to tell me about this little number?” she rests a gentle hand on your shoulder- the one with the tattoo.

“What do you mean?” you chuckle.

“That tattoo,” she licks her lips.

“I forget it’s there,” you roll your eyes. “Young Y/N mistakes.” Not true at all. You love that tattoo, and most of your street clothes show it off. 

“It’s sexy,” she tells you lowly. “Kinda like the ear spike and the nose ring I had no idea you had.”

“I’m a different woman outside of school, babes,” you tell her, smirk evident as you start to fix your own coffee. “Didn’t realize I had to tell you about it all.”

“You don’t,” she shrugs. “I’ll find it all out myself… little miss alt girl.”

“In your dreams,” you fire out, and you get pretty close to her.

“Oh, every night,” she challenges you and moves even closer. At this point, the two of you are nose to nose.

And wow, it wouldn’t take much more for you to-

“Good morning!” Janine bursts in through the door, not knowing what she’s walking into.

You and Melissa couldn’t jump away from each other faster. The young, energetic teacher starts to ramble on all about her weekend, and your other colleagues start to make their way in. When it comes time to watch the news, Melissa settles herself in next you. Her hand finds its way to your shoulder, and she starts to trace the outline of you tattoo. Then, you feel the redhead’s hand make its way to your arm, where the other tattoo is that she saw. You didn’t know she saw that one too. She lets her fingers lazily trace around that one as well. All of your coworkers are too enamored with what’s happening on the screen to really notice, and Melissa’s green eyes are trained on the television as well. You could not be further from what’s happening on the screen. All you can think of is Melissa, and the things that she’s doing right now are driving you crazy.

Soon though, the kids will start to trickle in, and you know you have to get to your classroom. So you head out, a flirtatious smile and wink thrown the second grade teacher’s way before you close yourself into your room. You take a deep breath, and get ready for your day.

As you’re about to make your way out of your classroom, you hear heeled boots clinking along the linoleum floor, and you know those boots belong to the redhead that’s been on your mind all day.

“Hey, babe,” you says, back turned to the door, but you know it’s her. “Come to walk me out?”

The clicking gets louder, and before you can even think, Melissa has you pinned up against your desk. You can feel the corner of it digging into your back, and then you don’t because all you can feel are her lips on yours. Instinctively, you kiss her back. It’s better than you had been dreaming of. And then she pulls back, wipes away the lipstick she left smudged, wipes her own mouth to fix her own lip, and then winks at you.

“I’m done pretending that all this flirting we do is harmless,” she says once she’s righted herself. “You, me, dinner tonight at The Capital Grille. 6, sharp.”

You don’t know what else to do other than nod.

“And don’t come dressed in your teacher outfit,” she instructs. “I want the babe that you are… Ear spike, nose ring, tattoos out.”

With that, she turns on her heel and makes her way out of your room. As she’s making her way down the hall, you hear her call over her shoulder, “Don’t miss me too much!”

So much for not mixing the personal with the professional.

Next

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x you #abbott elementary fanfic #abbott elementary fanfiction

[boydepartment]

NIKI IS THE TYPE OF GUY PLEASE🙏🏾PLEASE🙏🏾PLEASE-

I CANT STOP THINKING OF THAT LIL DUDE😭

riki is the type of guy…

a/n: I HOPE U LIKE IT BLOO ILYSM

MASTERLIST

warnings- none just fluff

wc- 250-300

other members part-

jungwon heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo ni-ki

song- die young- kesha

riki is the type of guy who…

🐆 feels really bad seeing you rushing in the rain without any kind of jacket or umbrella. he feels bad to the point where he stops you and gives you his jacket without even knowing you.

🐆 starts to believe in fate when he bumps into you in a convenience store. he recognizes you by your appearance and the fact you’re still wearing his jacket. riki tries not to let his ego grow too much.

🐆 blatantly asks for your number just so he can know why you were rushing in the rain. the excuse works and he scores your number.

🐆definitely brags that he got someone’s number when he got home. riki rubs it in his members faces that he bumped into you again AND got your number. they end up teasing him and asking if he got the over 1k dollar jacket back (he didn’t but riki wasn’t complaining)

🐆 listens to you talk about your day and whatever is going on with you. riki loves listening to you talk about your life, it makes him feel normal. like he’s just another one of your friends who has to do school or work or normal people stuff.

🐆gets really fed up just being your friend. he gets a little pissy around other people and seems to get frustrated around you. once you call him out he softens up. that day riki told you that he can’t be your friend anymore because he doesn’t see you as just a friend. you quite literally grin and yell “FINALLY!”

🐆spoils you. anything you need he’s rushing to get it for you. you’re thirsty? do you want tea? water? soda? he can look up how to make a milkshake!

🐆teases you, obviously. he’s either poking you in the side with his finger, ruffling your hair, nudging your shoulder. he loves watching you laugh and roll your eyes

🐆fixes minimal things. if your hair falls in your face he fixes it. your shoulder strap falls? he’s fixing it. if you have food on your face? you don’t have any time to fix it yourself before he’s already getting a napkin and doing it for you.

🖤🐆 riki is the type of guy to be down bad for you since day one. he has liked you since he bumped into you again, riki will never tell you… but he REALLY did start believing in fate and soulmates after he met you.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enha #enha imagines #nishimura niki imagines #nishimura riki x reader #nishimura niki #riki nishimura #nishimura riki #enhypen scenarios #enha x reader #enha fluff #enhypen icons #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #nishimura riki imagines #nishimura niki x reader #riki nishimura x reader #niki nishimura #riki imagines #enhypen riki #niki enhypen #niki imagines #niki x reader #riki x reader #riki x reader enha #kpop imagines

[urfavlarry]

Just saw that you take SBG requests! If possible could you do a Tyler oneshot where the reader starts out as Barron’s gf (it’s not going well bc he’s a jerk). Maybe Tyler helping her out of that relationship and just fluff of him being there for her. Bonus points if reader’s in the group!

Tyler Hernández x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, toxic relationship, manipulation

genre: angst(??) but mostly fluff

A/N: hope this doesn’t look rushed lmao I tried my best :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You’ve been dating Barron for a few months now, you wanted to give him a chance, thinking he would be different towards someone he actually loved, or so you thought he did. It started off as a normal relationship, he was sweet, took you out on dates, but now you realize that was just a trick so he could wrap you around his finger. You tried leaving several times, but you learned from your mistakes and didn’t think it was worth the bruises you would get. You. just had to pull through! Right?

You met Ashlyn and the other after you started dating Barron. They were really hesitant to let you in the group, thinking you were just trying to lure Logan into doing things for Barron like before, but they quickly relized you weren’t the type of person to do those types of things. You were complete opposites; he was manipulative, mean, and just a total jerk, while you were kind, truthful and calm unlike Barrons short temper. Everyone in the group was questioning how you even managed to be in a relatiomship with such an idiot but you brushed off the comments and told them he was different in private, which was a lie. Well if they asked this a few months back it wouldn’t have been a lie, but I guess people like Barron fairly change quickly. It was a few weeks after you started hanging out with the group that your situation with Barron worsened. To say that he was upset you were hanging out with the group that literally BEAT UP him and his little minions was an understatement. He would start beating you, yelling at you; “Oh so I’m not enough for you you fucking whore?” “You think you can just run off and think they will solve your problems for you?” But right after he would put up this kind facade, hugging you close, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and playing with your hair; “I’m sorry love, you know I get angry.. it’s just that..” Just endless excuses that you fell for, so you stayed.

The group quickly noticed your bruised figure; “Oh I’m fine, I was playing with my brother and fell!” or “I bumped into the side of a table this morning because I was in a hurry!” Everyone seemed to believe you except Tyler. He eyes you the whole lunch break, even during class. You glance at him every now and then and your mind starts to race; “What if he knows?” You think to yourself and look at Barron who like always wasn’t paying attention at all and would ask for you to do his work for him. You roll your eyes and decide this class doesn’t deserve your attention so you lay your head down on your desk and drift off.

The sound of the bells jolts you awake and you groan, gathering your stuff and go to leave the classroom. You feel a hand on your shoulder; “Leave me al—” “Come meet me after school, i’ll be waiting in front of the gates.” You hear from behind you and recognize the voice as Tylers. You nod and leave the class immediately, praying Barron didn’t see your little interaction.

The day went by dreadfully slow and you counted down the minutes when the last bell finally rang. The hallways were crowded with angsty teens and pick me whores who couldn’t wait to get drunk on a Friday night. You push your way through the mob of people and go to the gate where Tyler said he would be. You see Barron and his minions in the crowd of people and you sprint towards Tyler, grabbing him by the wrist and pull him towards the nearby coffee shop you had near your school. After you believe your put of sight you slow down, walking in silence. “Um, you can let go now?” Tyler says, pointing to his wrist. “Oh yeah, right.. sorry.” You look away, putting your hands in your hoodies pocket. Tyler raised a brow, it was mid May and it was getting hot out, every girl at school was either in tank tops, shorts, or dresses. He pushes the thoughts aside and opens the coffee shops door, letting you in first. You sit down in one of the more secluded spots in the shop and place your bag down.

“Soo.. whats up?” You ask, ordering a refreshing drink. Tyler just looks at you, eyes furrowed and arms crossed over his chest. “I know what you told us today was just a load of bull.” He says in a stern voice, having a “if you lie to me I’ll personally jump over this table and smack you” face.

“What do you mean? Are you implying anything?” You smile innocently, fiddling with your fingers under the table. He raised a brow, and hums; “Maybe I am.” He says and stays quiet after thar, staring you down, making you shift in your seat. You clear your throat and finish your drink, standing up; “Well if you don’t wanna discuss anything, i’ll be leaving—” You get cut off by getting tugged back by your wrist. You sigh and turn around, looking down at the ground not wanting to meet his harsh stare. He sighs and lifts your chin to look up at him, his gaze softening just a bit. “Wha—” He pulls you into a hug and you freeze, the new form of affection taking you by suprise. You hesitantly hug him back, feeling a bit awkward hugging him in a coffee shop but you pushed the thought away. He grabs your wrist and pulls you from the coffee shop; “I know that relationship between you and the hijo de puta isn’t healthy hermosa.” He says letting go of your wrist, looking away from you and kicking rocks he had in his way. You sigh, contemplating if you should say anything, the things that Barron had told you haunting you everywhere you went. “I don’t know what your talking about.” You say and Tyler rolls his eyes; “Yeah right, you got that bruised cheek and eye from chasing your cousins riiight yep that explains it!” He says sarcastically and crosses his arms over his chest; “Really Y/N let me or the others help you, we aren’t blind, the others just didn’t wanna be pushy and force you to say anthing.” He says as you both walk to the park, only a few minutes away from the coffee shop.

He sits you down on the bench and towers over you, glaring right at you. “Come on we just wanna help, well at least I do, come on cariño, let me help you.” He says and sits down next to you. You look at him in disbelief, maybe you could finally get out of Barrons torturous grasp? But what if he would keep bothering you? What if he hurts your friends? Your eyes water and you hug Tyler, sobbing into his shoulder; “I’m scared Ty, I really am.” You choke on your sobs, shaking uncontrollably while Tyler rubs your back soothingly. “Aw Y/N don’t cry hermosa.. it’ll be fine.. I promise.” He says, cupping your cheeks and wipes away your tears. You smile softly, finally calming down from your little nervous breakdown. “Thanks Ty..” He nods in acknowledgment and puts an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him.

You rest your head on his shoulder and talk with him for what feels like hours, explaining your situation with Barron and how he has been treating you. Tyler listens, only commenting a few times since he didn’t wanna interrupt you and make you feel like he doesn’t care. Oh he did care, more than you could imagine. He’s been a bit overprotective of you since you joined the group, always protecting you from bullies you didn’t even know you had because Tyler always kept their mouths shut.

The next day you texted Barron to meet you at the school gate, which he did. “Hey babe whats up?” He smirks and wraps an arm around your shoulder. You give him a disgusted look and shake him off, stepping away and try to keep your distance from him. Tyler was watching the whole scene unfold, promising you that if things got out of hand that he would intervene. “Barron I think we should—” He cuts you off and glares at you; “Oh so that’s what this is about? We already talked about this you fucking bi—” While he was rambling, you didn’t even notice Tyler walking up to him and punching him right in the nose, an awful cracking sound being heard seconds later. “She said what she said estúpido, now leave her alone.” Tyler holds your hand in his, pulling you away from the now bleeding boy. Barron knew better then to mess with Tyler so he just cursed under his breath, leaving you alone. You walk into the boys bathroom that people rarely went to since people thought it was “haunted” and he grabs you by the shoulders looking at you with a worried expression.

“Y/N are you okay?” He asks, concern evident in his voice. You look up at him and pull him into a hug, having the biggest smile on your face. You mumble like a hundred thank you’s, and pull away from the hug. “Thank you so much Tyler, you don’t know how much you helped me.” You say and kiss his cheek. “I know this won’t make up for the problems I causes you but—” You get cut off by soft lips on yours, leaving you stunned. You close your eyes and kiss back, wrapping your arms around his neck while his arms travel down to your waist. Your lips move in sync, like you were just made for each other and pulled apart for breath. Tyler smiles down at you and kisses your forehead and smirks; “I’ll need a few more of these~” He leans down to kiss you again, a finger on his lips stopping him. “First of all, take me out on a date.” You smile innocently and head to your class, leaving Tyler to plan your date for the rest of the day.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

#tyler sbg #barron sbg #tyler hernandez x reader #sbg tyler #tyler hernandez #tyler sbg x reader #sbg x reader #school bus graveyard x reader #school bus graveyard #tyler hernandez x y/n #sbg x y/n #school bus graveyard x y/n

[kvothe-kingkiller]

I'm not the best writer when it comes to writing convincing essays or whatever, but I'm going to give this a go because it's something that I've thought for a long time that I've never seen anyone really acknowledge unless I bring it up first. (also I am sick and don't really want to do much editing here, just rambles, so good luck)

I think that when most (not all, but most) people get salty about 'modern art', they are not salty about the things people think they are salty about. When they say "this isn't art", theres an important bit that they're not articulating. What I think most of them mean is "this isn't art that should be in a museum." "this isn't art that should cost this much" "this isn't art that should be getting this kind of recognition". And there is a huge difference between that and just saying "this isn't art"

Firstly, all of the arguments about why modern art is in fact art straight up....don't apply. They don't address the problem, they don't answer the question. This isn't really anyone's fault per se, given that it is addressing the literal statement, it's just I think most people aren't actually thinking that literal statement.

So then what do they really mean? Like I said, I think they're trying to articulate why they're frustrated that this art is in a museum when "they could do it". So when you say "okay then, you do it" that doesn't address the core issue, which is "but why is this getting recognition for it, and I would get none" because yes, unless they are famous, they would get Zero recognition for it. Nobody would be lining up to buy their art, no one would ask to put it in a museum. Best place they can hope to have this displayed is a fridge door.

When you look at a piece of fine art, most can see the amount of effort put into it. They see how much training it took to get there, they see how much time it took to put those strokes on that canvas and they can go "yeah, that took skill, that took effort, not everyone can do that. it deserves recognition". And a lot of modern art does take skill, it's just skill that isn't easily noticeable to the average viewer, such as rothko's color fields, they do take a lot of skill and effort, you just can't see it if you don't know. But a lot of modern art that people complain about isn't something that has skill that's not recognized, it just requires very little technical skill at all (not a condemnation, btw).

When you're talking about something 'anyone can do' that piece's value is often not a recognition of skill, or even of the message, it's a recognition of a name. It's similar to having a gucci bag because it's a gucci bag, not because you care remotely about the bag. Yes, art isn't displayed because of how much effort went into it, but it's a huge industry that many many people are making money through from sheer name recognition alone.

Like that one painting of that one artist's (I forget which artist and my cursory google isnt finding it, but also its just an example) where it got replicated and sold to a bunch of people for a large amount of money so they could all have something that had a small chance of being a genuine painting by the artist, that's an excellent example of the fact that a lot of the gallery-level art world is Entirely about the name, not about the piece itself. If someone just made that painting but didn't say it could be from the artist, then who cares?

If you go to ringo starr's art website (https://www.ringostarrart.com/) then you can see that some of his work, especially his older work, is of that category of stuff that many people would say "I could do that" to. For instance, these two? 1,400 and 6,000 pounds respectively for a PRINT of these from his website

....okay this one I kinda enjoy.

but still. 2,000 pounds for a print.

All of this is possible because he's ringo fucking starr, he can sell his paintings for whatever he wants. If I tried to sell those for that much, I'd be laughed out of the room. All of it is just clout, it's just how big your name is and how much you can use that as leverage.

This is not to say that other forms of art don't also have this issue, they do, especially with people devaluing creative works so much today. But you could probably get a few commissions if you sell realistic art or do commissions of people's characters, while you Cannot get any money trying to sell stuff like ringos art unless you already have an audience who will buy it.

This does somewhat lead into a discussion of how art curators pick which artists are 'good' somewhat arbitrarily, but that's a whole other post.

Doing art for 'yourself' vs for other people or money is also a whole other post, one which I've actually seen quite a lot on here. But suffice to say if your response to all of this is 'just make art for yourself! Why do you need recognition?' then maybe go find some of those posts. It's not bad to want recognition, and it's not bad to question why that guy is getting much more recognition for the exact same thing you're doing just because he has a bunch of rich friends who are able to host fancy parties and go 'hmm. yes this is good art.' (not that all modern artists had rich friends, but they did almost all get Extremely lucky in some shape or another that led to them now being widely accepted as good artists).

You cannot make a living off modern art unless you're well known, and if you happen to be well known already, you could likely make a living off modern art without having any experience, and that's what a lot of people hate about modern art, even if they don't articulate it. While some would, most wouldn't say "my five year old could do that" to someone's personal piece that they made themselves and hung up in their home, or that their friend made and gave to them. They say that about the pieces bought for thousands of dollars or millions of dollars.

And I don't want people to think that I do hate modern art, I don't (though this is tumblr, so I'm pissing on the poor just by writing this). I don't hate any of the famous modern artists, I don't think modern art isn't art. I do hate the industry that says their art is suddenly worth something just because some rich fuckers somewhere decided they should be, and anything I tried to do in a similar vein, original or not, would be better suited to sit in a coffee shop and continuously marked down and never sold.

So next time you say "so why don't you make it", maybe ask yourself if you would buy it.

#THIS RANT TO YOU BROUGHT BY COVID ISOLATION #long post #modern art #art

[faeriichaii]

hiii! Hope you're doing well <3 if it's not much trouble could I request Legolas x reader where the ring fellowship one night stopped at some kind of inn to rest, and reader happens to be a musician that performed there that night and catches the interest of Legolas??you can make up the rest of the plot !Thank you 🫶🫶

Music to My Ears ~ Legolas x Reader

A/N: Hii thank you for asking I'm doing fine atm <33 I hope you're doing all right as well! Thank you so much for requesting!! I love the idea and I really hope you love the story :) Ngl I even listened to like some tavern ambience stuff to really get into the groove haha

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Warnings: fluff, mention of alcohol (Just a bit cause Gimli) ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Words: 1.3k ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Request: Yes (Thank you <33) ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ A'maelamin ~ My Beloved ࿐ྂ

Summary: A trip to the tavern results in you not just winning new fans over with your music, but also winning the heart of a certain elven prince.

Rain was pouring down as you walked through the busy streets, trying to find your destination. Stopping in front of a wooden building, you look up towards the sign that read ‘The King’s Head’. Entering through the door, you were greeted by loud laughter and chatter from various customers, who sat at their tables to take a relaxing break after their hard days. You have been working as a musician for quite a while and moved from one place to another, making a name for yourself on the way. “Welcome to ‘The King’s Head’. What can I get ya?” A woman asked you, as she mustered you from head to toe with a smile. Realization dawned upon her as she started to recognize you. “Hello, I am here for the performance of the night. Do you maybe know where my room is, so I can leave my baggage there and prepare myself?” Nodding brightly, the woman walked behind the bar counter, got a set of keys and signed you to follow her up the stairs.

“(Y/N) it is an honour to have you play for us tonight!” You smile at her, before she started to open the door for you. “I am happy for the invitation to play my song in this lovely tavern.” At that the woman grins, handing you the keys and leaving you alone in the room. It was a small room with a small wooden bed on the right side and a bedside table. You put your bag on the bed, before taking out your violin, strumming it and playing a few notes before leaving the room. While walking out the door you bump into the back of someone. “Oh- Excuse me I didn’t watch where I was going.” You say, before continuing to walk down to start your performance, not noticing the gaze of a certain elven prince linger on your disappearing figure.

Taking your place on the small makeshift stage, the waitress from before appeared again. Clapping twice into her hands, she silences the tavern. Now that the attention was set on the both of you, she stepped aside a little to introduce you warmly. “Dear guests, please welcome the star of the night, (Y/N)!” Claps and cheers filled the space, as you put your violine in its right place and began with your most known song. People started to stand up, taking others hands and began to dance around happily while laughing and chatting with glee. Some even started to sing with you, almost as if they knew your songs by heart like you did.

Letting your gaze wander across the tavern, you notice an intriguing party at one of the tables. Four hobbits were dancing around the table, while a dwarf laughed loudly with a pint of ale in his hand. Beside him sat two men, one who you knew as the strider. You two once met in a tavern a few months ago and conversed for a bit, sharing stories of your adventures, leading you two to become somewhat acquaintances. However, the other man is unknown to you. His long white hair was braided at the sides, making him reveal his pointy ears. A smile spreads on your lips as you catch his eyes staring at you, making him quickly turn his attention towards his smaller companion.

After a few more songs you take a quick break, to hydrate yourself and grab some food that the waitress prepared for you. Looking around the full tavern, you spot an empty seat beside Aragorn and decide to approach the table. “Is this seat taken?” You ask him with your plate in one hand and the drink in the other. “Long time no see (Y/N). I see you have really made yourself a name.” He smiles at you, before pulling out the chair. “What brings you here on this stormy night Strider?” “We are on an important journey, however I can’t really tell you more.” You look around the table, stopping at the ethereal looking elf beside him.

“Let me introduce you to the company. The hobbits dancing around are Merry and Pippin. Big fans of yours apparently. And these two are Sam and Frodo.” The both opposite of you give you a small wave, before continuing to eat, meanwhile the two dancing around stand beside you with pleading eyes. “Are you going to perform ‘The Elfin Knight’? It’s one of our favourites!” “How can I say no, now that you have asked me so nicely.” You smile at them, before they skip away. “My half-drunk friend is called Gimli and this,” Aragorn stops a moment to scoot back with his chair, so you can clearly see the man beside him. “This is Legolas.” You smile at him softly. “Pleased to make your acquaintance (Y/N).” “The pleasure is all mine.” Staring into his brown eyes you notice a golden swirl around them, making them look like the purest form of jewels. “Legolas just told me how much he enjoyed the songs you played so far.” You giggle at the confession and see a gentle smile grace the elven princes beautiful face, making him look almost like an actual angel.

“I will grab something from the bar.” Aragorn says, before disappearing into the crowd of people. Taking the now empty spot beside you, Legolas leans towards you. “Your music is very capturing. Can you maybe even play a song from the elven realms?” “I’m sure I will be able to play a song just for you.” He chuckles at that, making your heart melt on the spot at the soft sound. “I hold you to that promise.” His hand delicately brushes against yours for a split second, making you feel just a little bit warmer. Focusing your gaze on his eyes once more, you gasp softly at the warmth that radiates from them. “You have really beautiful eyes.” You remark, melting at the way they crinkle when he lets out a light laugh. “I think your eyes might shine more like mine. They look like they could rival against any star in the dark night sky.” A pink tinge accompanies your face at his heartfelt compliment.

After you finished your dinner, as well as your lovely chat with the elf, you fulfilled the wishes of Merry, Pippin and Legolas with the last few songs of the night. Grabbing the money for your performance from the waitress, you prepare to go back to your room for the night. However, before you get a chance to leave, the elven prince approaches you once more. “I really loved your performance.” “Thank you very much. Does this mean I can count you as one of my admirers now?” You ask him teasingly. “I think I might actually now be your number one admirer.” He responses while taking your hand in his. “It is quite sad that your performance is already over and the chances are slim that you might want to join our company, right?” “Even if I wish to join you and your friends on the journey, I sadly can’t. I am not really good with weapons and won’t be of good use to you.” A slight sadness washes over his face, however it dissipates as quickly as it came. Suddenly he gently pulls your hand towards his lips, giving it a kiss. Heat floods your cheeks at the sweet gesture. “I hope to meet you again sometime A’maelamin.” With these last words, he leaves your side and takes a part of your heart with him.

Weeks pass and you are once again playing your songs in a small tavern in a new village. The newest edition of your songs called ‘A lovely pool of honey’ Your eyes travel across the various dancing people until they spot a very familiar company at the table. Setting for a familiar set of honey kissed brown eyes, you smile brightly while your heart once again flows with warmth and love for the song you wrote for your one ethereal elven muse.

#legolas x reader #legolas x you #legolas x y/n #legolas greenleaf x reader #legolas greenleaf #legolas lotr #the lord of the rings #lotr legolas #lord of the rings #fluff #the lord of the rings fanfiction #lotr fanfic #lotr movies #legolas #lord of the rings fic #lotr #middle earth #lord of the rings legolas #x reader

[pandorasprongs]

JAMIE TARTT | and i don't even like you that much. wait, i do. f*ck.

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.8k

SUMMARY: jamie is actually a board game nerd and starts spending more time with one of the employees of a local shop.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: this idea came to me as someone asked me if i wanted to buy another volume of a board game we had HAHA if you can figure out what game i'm referring to in this story, hmu! alsooo i want to apologize for the length i swear i didn't mean for it to get that long, but still, i hope you all enjoy! title is from the song 'apple cider' by beabadoobee!

It was another slow morning in the store, given that most of your frequent customers were forced to be in school at this time. You ended up continuing one of the readings for your class during your shift. Despite a wave of drowsiness hitting you the moment you opened the book, it was still better having free time to be tired than the afternoon rush when 13-year-old boys came in to get another booster pack of Magic: The Gathering cards.

You were practically setting all these children up for a gambling addiction the way they'd spend 20 pounds trying to get one of those shiny ones in their deck. You never bothered to learn the names really, because that wasn't part of your job description. When it came to those kinds of things, those boys probably knew more than you did.

When it came to board games though, that was your area of expertise. It was partly one of the reasons you applied to work here while you were finishing up your Master's, — and also because of how generous the owner was with your salary, — so you always loved helping people out for their board game nights. You didn't have regulars that would come in often, but here and there, there would be a person you recognize from before asking about another game.

You don't know how much time had passed, but after deciding that your brain could no longer take reading the word cognitive multiple times in a sentence, you end up shutting the book and resting your head on the counter.

Soon after though, you hear the bell at the top of the door ring, causing you to jolt up. You only catch a glimpse of the guy walking towards you before he drops his head, his cap completely blocking his face, and a loose black hoodie covering his frame.

For a second, you get worried that the store was about to get robbed but the man finally stops in front of you and speaks, in a thick Mancunian accent. "Do you have any suggestions for board games? Like for family and stuff,"

You swear you've heard his voice before. Maybe from school? Or a former customer? You decide to shake it off before replying. "Well, this is a board game store, so there's quite a lot to pick from. Do you have any specific theme in mind? How many players?"

"There'll be 3 of us, but I'm not really picky with the game. Not any of those monopoly type shit though, cause I'm sick of never winning."

You chuckle at the revelation and that's what gets the man to look up at you. It definitely wasn't his appearance he was worried about. His chiseled jaw and striking blue eyes almost draw you in, not to mention his hairstyle looks eerily like the one David Beckham had in the 90s, who you had to admit was a crush of yours as a kid. He could even pass as a contestant on one of those dating reality shows.

And then it hits you where you've heard his voice before. This guy was on Lust Conquers All and was immediately voted off. You remember it well because your sister was so pissed at him for joining the show since the football season had just started. Jamie something, but the show never mentioned his last name. You try to hide your realization by turning to the shelf behind you.

"Alright uh, I’d recommend this one." You turn back around and slide it across the counter as Jamie (?) starts looking at the box from all angles.

"Looks cool," is all he says in reply and he looks back at you, presumably for you to explain the game. You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before going on your usual introduction to the game.

"Basically in the game, there are 4 characters you can choose to be your 'heroes.' Your main objective is to get your opponent's health to 0 using the different cards in your set. All the characters have different decks and skills you can use throughout the game, and some of them even have side kicks." You look back up for a second to see his expression and you can tell that you're still holding his interest.

"So for example in the one I gave you, you can battle Sinbad, Medusa, King Arthur, and Alice, who's fucking amazing, by the way."

"Alice? From fucking Wonderland?" You laugh at his surprise before nodding to affirm it. "She's your favorite then?"

"How'd you know?" You ask sarcastically. "But yeah, she's just really versatile and it's just really fun to shrink and grow every turn just to piss off the other players. I'm practically unbeatable using her." You admit though you're not really sure why.

Most of the time when customers come in here for a game, they don't ask questions and just buy the first one you suggest. That’s probably why you answered Jamie's question so earnestly. Cause he's the first one to ever ask you what you liked about the game.

You quickly run through the rest of the rules and mechanics of the game with Jamie chiming in occasionally. You describe the other editions as well and Jamie is tempted to buy the other one — "How is anyone supposed to beat fucking Dracula?" — before he ultimately decides to take home the one you offered.

"If I end up losing using Alice, you owe me a refund." He states as you ring up the game. You playfully roll your eyes as you scan the barcode on the box.

"Oh yeah, since you're the first customer of the day, you get a 7% discount on your purchase," you quickly inform him when you glance at the post-it note on the register screen reminding you about it in bold letters.

Instead of the usual gratefulness or blip of happiness from hearing that news, Jamie instead asks, "Is that really a thing or are you doing it because you know who I am?"

You look at him to check if he's serious and given his blank look, you assume he is. You don't know how to respond to that, so instead you just slowly shake your head.

"Wait, do you not know who I am?" His question itself comes off as arrogant, but given the genuine surprise in your voice, you're not sure how to feel about the guy after he says it.

You decide to answer him honestly. "I do, but given that you walked in here in clothes that make you look like a stalker who's about to rob the place, I didn't think you'd want me to make a big fuss about it, Jamie."

His shoulders seem to relax at your statement and once he goes quiet, he finally pulls out his wallet. You quickly place the game in a paper bag and hand it over to him.

He whispers a quick thanks and turns to leave, before pausing. He turns back to you, "Look, it's not like I'm dressed this way because I'm embarrassed to be in a store like this—"

"I didn't think you were," you answer blankly with a hint of sarcasm. You decide to mess with the guy a little bit because hey, when's the next time a famous footballer comes into your store again? "Why, is there something I should be embarrassed about?"

Jamie quickly shakes his head. "No, fuck no! I think it's cool, really. You know, being surrounded by all these games and cards and knowing so much about them. Especially someone like you,"

You tilt your head in amusement. "What do you mean someone like me?" Jamie's embarrassment only seems to deepen at that.

"Fuck I didn't mean it like that. Honestly, when I came in here, I was expecting some teenage boy to be at the counter. Wait no— I mean, girls can like all this stuff too! I just didn't expect someone attr—," he stops himself and shakes his head. "Shit, wait,"

You watch Jamie scramble for words and you decide to just put an end to his misery. "Look, look, I was just joking around. I don't give that much of a shit about what you said." The football player visibly relaxes and you hold in a laugh at that reaction. "And you're basically right about the kind of people who work here. Most of my co-workers can't work these hours right now 'cause they're off studying for their A-Levels."

"Yeah, well thank you for this," Jamie lifts the bag slightly and you give him a genuine smile.

"No problem. Hope you enjoy the game! And if you ever feel compelled to dress like a shitty robber again, you can come back and tell me what you think." Your sarcasm no longer throws Jamie off who instead, just playfully rolls his eyes and leaves the store.

You go back to your reading for your behavioral science class, putting your interaction with the football player in the back of your mind.

—

The next time you see Jamie is two weeks later, although this time, he comes in right before closing. Technically, you weren't the only one assigned for this shift, but you decided to let your co-worker go home early since he said he had an English exam the next day and still hadn't studied.

So, you were counting down the minutes to 8 pm when you hear someone come inside. Fucking hell. You force a smile, "Hi, welcome! We'll be closing in a few minutes, but please approach me if you need anything so you can have a speedier process."

"Are you really that desperate to get rid of me?" The person moves away from the shelves and turns out to be Jamie Tartt, you learn his last name is. He's wearing another grey hoodie but seems to have decided to ditch his hat. Good, because you weren't sure how much longer you could stare at the ICON written on it and not judge him. "I wanna know, did you think offering to help the customer would get them out of here quicker?"

"I had to try something," you defend yourself, shrugging. You notice Jamie carrying the bag you used to wrap the board game and slightly frown. "Didn't like the game?"

He follows your eyes and is quick to correct you. "I loved it, actually. First time playing a board game that Simon didn't win during the first round." You aren't sure who Simon is, but you laugh nonetheless. "And you're right, Alice is fucking unbeatable."

"I'm glad you liked it, and Alice," you start, but then glance at the time on your phone. "But, is that the only reason you came here?"

"Well no, I was wondering if you wanted to play. That's why I came so late, in case there would be too many people if I came at the usual time."

"Yeah, there was a fuck ton, actually, as you can tell from the fully stocked store." You say, pretending to look around the room. "But sure, if you want. I don't have anything going on tomorrow anyway," Now you're really glad that you didn't procrastinate that paper due tonight.

Jamie smiles as he starts to unbox the set and you grab one of the chairs behind the counter and push it to the other side for the footballer.

Never did you imagine you would spend a Saturday night with a hot football player playing one of your favorite board games, but here you were. In between one of the rounds, the topic of football is brought up and you admit that you don't know all that much about it despite your family being made up of fanatics.

"Everyone has their team they support. My dad loves Arsenal, my mum loves Chelsea, and my sister bounces between West Ham and Crystal Palace. Though, she fucking hates Rupert Mannion, so maybe this is the end of her West Ham support." You answer as you shuffle Jamie's deck.

"Shit, the season must be fun for you guys," Jamie remarks and you snort, though instantly regretting letting that sound out. The football player looks unfazed, so you decide not to apologize for it and answer his question instead.

"Yeah, I basically end up being their messenger till the finals, which ends up becoming World War 3 if their teams are competing," you hand him his deck back and start the round, but your conversation doesn't end there.

"What team would you support then, if you got into football?" He looks hopefully at you.

"Yours, probably." You confirm as you look through your first hand of cards. "I mean, I'm about to destroy one of their players at this game. It's the least I can do."

"We'll see about that," Jamie replies and you roll your eyes playfully, but you smile.

Working at the store meant you were surrounded by board game fans every day, but not even your regulars would come in here after your shift to play. You couldn't help but feel warm at how Jamie matched your enthusiasm about the game, something, you admit, you didn't expect from the player. You knew nothing would probably come from this harmless happy crush of yours, but if he decided to start coming in often to play, you wouldn't be opposed to it.

Your attention turns back to the game once Jamie picks his next move. He smirks at his decision until his expression suddenly shifts. "Wait, if you're not into football, how'd you know who I was the other day?"

You move your piece before looking directly into Jamie's eyes and respond, "I just really love trashy reality shows." Jamie playfully groans at the reminder and you burst into laughter before you continue the game.

True to form, whichever of the two of you uses Alice is the one to win that round. You finally decide on a tie-breaker with your favorite being banned from usage.

"Christ, if this is how you maneuver in a board game, I wonder how good you are at football." You tease, as you glance at his character being at only 4HP.

"I'm fucking amazing, actually. Ask your family, they'll tell you." Jamie moves a few spaces on the board, hoping to escape your Medusa, but instead, he falls into one of your traps.

You corner him and finally reduce his King Arthur's health. "And there you go, 3-2."

It takes Jamie a second to absorb everything before he slouches. "Fucking hell." You laugh before getting up from your chair and helping him keep all the pieces and cards.

"Better luck next time, Tartt."

Jamie, whose competitive side seems to be shining in this game, doesn't let it end there.

Almost every week, he would come into the store at night asking to play. He was definitely getting better, but after making a deal where the loser has to tell an embarrassing story after the round, you realize you know more about him than he probably does about you.

"God Jamie, how are you alive?" You ask as he shares a story from when he first started the league.

"How was I supposed to know doing multiple headers in one match could lead to a bloody concussion?" He retorts, only making your eyes widen even more.

"I'm pretty sure that's common knowledge to about 80% of the population," you say through your laughter.

It's almost 10 when you finish playing, so you grab your jacket and start heading to the door with Jamie. You lock the store up and notice that Jamie's still hanging around you.

It's dark outside, but it seems like his features were even more enhanced by the moonlight. The light hit his eyes just the right way that it made the blue more evident. You notice just then how his hair is neater today, mainly because of his sports headband. The front strands of his hair had fallen out it though, falling on his face in just the right way that it gave you butterflies. Did all footballers look this attractive?

You realize that you may have been starting a bit too long and as you tuck the keys in your jacket pocket, you decide to ask, "Need anything else?"

Jamie opens his mouth to say something, but instead, he just shakes his head. "Nothing actually, just good night," he waves and starts walking in the opposite direction, but you swear you hear him muttering something under his breath.

—

It had been a week since then and you had to start telling yourself to not be so excited when you hear the bell ring. Every time it did, you'd look expectantly at the door expecting to see Jamie again, asking for another or a new volume or even just game tips. Each time, you'd end up disappointed and would have to fake a smile to the customer approaching you.

This time you hear it ring, and you do your best to not look up. If it was Jamie, you knew that your boss George probably would be sounding an alarm. You only learned the Monday after that he was a major AFC Richmond fan when you mentioned that a football player had visited the store multiple times to play board games.

"Do you think we can get him to sign a picture and put it on the wall? Can you ask?" You quickly have to explain how those interactions were the only times you ever spoke to Jamie and had no actual way of contacting him.

As you close your laptop, — one more paragraph and that essay is done! — you look up to find two guys standing in front of you.

"Hi, do you have any board game recommendations?" the one on the right greeted, his accent quickly revealing him to be Welsh.

You don't have a chance to answer because the left one lightly elbows his friend before whispering (though loud enough for you to hear), "He already told us what to get, bruv."

You may not know who this 'he' is, but the guy pulls out his phone and shows you a picture of a board game, the same one you recommended to Jamie. Wishful thinking gets you to believe that they were friends of his and he liked it so much that he told them about it. And maybe about you, too.

You've never been so happy to be right.

You nod your head and as he kept his phone, you started pulling the same edition from the shelf behind you when you hear a screeching sound that almost made you drop the box.

"Oh my God, Colin Hughes, and Isaac McAdoo!" George exclaims and you wonder where you've heard those names before.

The owner joins you at the counter as you place the board game in front of you. Maybe you weren't pretending to be as peppy as you usually do, because George decides to ask, "How are you so calm? Do you know who these guys are? They're Colin Hughes and Isaac McAdoo!"

"I heard you the first time," you turn to the two guys once again, embarrassed on behalf of your boss.

"They're part of the starting team of AFC Richmond!" And that's when it clicks. On one of your all-nighters, you decided to take a break and search up Jamie Tartt just to see what you could find. You ended up at his club's website and saw the rest of the players as well. You didn't pay them much attention given that you were so focused on player number 9, but you saw enough pictures to recognize them, at least.

"So you guys do know Jamie," you think out loud and the two players turn to each other, before sharing looks of realization.

"Oh, you're the girl!" Colin exclaims and you can't help but feel butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah, I guess so," you try and act as nonchalantly as possible, so neither of them picks up on anything. You turn back to the game and ask, "Is this the one you wanted?"

"Jamie said there were other versions?" Isaac asks and you nod your head to confirm it, which he smiles at. "We want the Sherlock one."

"Okay," you reach for that one on the shelf as George starts offering them discounts on the game.

When he almost offers to give it to them for free along with another set, you stop him by slamming the box on the counter. Why were you the one trying to keep his business alive? "Here it is, hope you enjoy it!"

You ring up their purchase, still trying to hold your boss back from scaring these footballers away before they can pay. You finally bag the whole thing and hand it to them. "Thank you!" you shout as they exit the store.

"Yeah, see you soon!" George says afterward and you look at him in confusion.

"What the fuck was that, George?" He only sighs, most likely the embarrassment only hitting him at that exact moment.

Once he goes back to doing inventory, you can't help but replay what Colin said. Oh, you're the girl! Why was such a simple phrase like that affecting you so much? For all you know, he might've mentioned you being a sore winner, which wouldn't be the first time you've been called that.

But you still hope he said good things about you and maybe even kept better things he thought to himself.

—

"Okay, time's up. Please pass your papers." You write one last word as you get up to give your exam to the proctor, sighing in relief that the semester is finally over.

You had asked for leave for the past few days and didn't have a shift until tomorrow, so you decide to treat yourself to some coffee and pasta for lunch at the campus cafe.

As you settle down at one of the tables, you get a phone call from George. He was more than happy to let you take the time off, so you wonder what emergency had to happen for him to contact you.

As soon as you pick up, George screams your name into the phone. You pull it away from your ear for a second, and respond, "What? What do you need?"

"Look, I'm sorry to disturb you on your day off, but you said that your test ended at 2:30, so I decided to hold off calling you till then. Anyway, someone came in a few days ago asking if we host board game nights."

"And we do," you answer for him as you chew your sandwich.

"Right, and then he said that he was from AFC Richmond." You flinch after imagining how your boss could've reacted at that revelation. "They wanted to hold it a few days ago," George pauses.

"Why didn't you say yes? You could've been game master."

"Yeah well, I wanted to, but they specifically asked for you to go." You put down your sandwich and straighten up. George continues, "I told them you were on leave, but they said they could wait till you were back at work. I said that your test was this morning and I would ask if you'd be willing to end your leave early."

"Okay, sure." You answer, a little faster than you intended. You couldn't believe that the team — and maybe even Jamie personally, — was willing to postpone their game night just so you would be the one to facilitate it.

The surprise was evident in George's voice. Normally, you would reject his idea the moment he mentioned board game nights, but something about this was different for you. "Oh okay, well, I'll send you the address. I'll be bringing the boards there since you don't have a car and I'll meet you there at 4 pm. It's a restaurant, so maybe you can get something to eat before 'cause shit can get crazy at those things and it's best to load up."

You don't know how a board game night could get crazy, but you decide not to comment on it. He sends you the details through text before you end the call and continues eating your sandwich. The place wasn't too far from campus, so you didn't have to rush to get there. But after 10 minutes, you consumed your sandwich and were out the door with your coffee in hand.

While walking, you decided to familiarize yourself more with the players trying to put names to face before you had to interact with all of them at once. You started to get the hang of it, — even looking at team photos and naming them one by one as a test — as you get to the venue at around half past 3.

You arrive at a restaurant called Ola's, and you remember seeing one of the Richmond players post about it. Your dad wanted to have dinner here once, but they were always fully booked so the four of you gave up trying to get a table there.

Because of that, you expected the place to be swamped with customers, but instead find an almost empty restaurant. You notice one guy standing in the middle of it and approach him.

"Hi," He turns around and you recognize him as Sam Obisanya, meaning he must be the owner. You introduce yourself quickly before asking, "Am I at the right place? I'm here to help host a board game tournament."

Sam's eyes widen as he seems to recognize you. "Oh yes, this is the place. Sorry, I didn't expect you to be so early. We already fixed up the tables, but I can also help in setting up the boards if you like."

"Ah no, it's alright. My boss is the one who’s bringing them. I came from my university, so I don't have any of them on me right now." You quickly explain and Sam nods as he leads you to one of the tables to relax, while he grabs some appetizers from the kitchen.

He makes his way back to the table, though he can't seem to stop looking at you. You subconsciously start fixing your hair, wondering if you should've gone to the bathroom before going in here.

He seems to pick up on this and is quick to reassure you, "Oh, I'm sorry for staring. It's just Jamie has mentioned you so many times, so it's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of the football player. You grab some of the food he offered as you reply as calmly as you can, "Oh yeah, did he tell you how he is nowhere close to beating my number of wins?"

Sam lets out a short chuckle. "No, but I'm not surprised. He did say you're very good at it." You smile and decide to ask why they decided to do a board game night.

It takes a second before Sam replies, "Oh well, Coach always says to do team-building activities every once in a while, and seeing as Jamie has asked almost everyone on the team to play the game at least once, we thought it would be a good idea. I think Isaac and Colin got their own board too and they started bringing it to the clubhouse."

"Shit, I didn't realize that football players loved board games so much," you remarked as you hear the door to the restaurant open.

Both of you look up to see George, who is trying to carry 12 boxes of board game sets. You rush out of your seat to help him out and so does Sam. The sight of the player almost makes your boss drop all of them from his arms, but you quickly scoop four of them and Same takes another four.

"Sam Obisanya," George exhales, once some of the weight is literally lifted off him.

The player simply says, "Hello," and states that he'll start setting up the four boards on the tables near the back.

You snap your fingers to get George out of the trance and the two of your start setting up on the rest of your tables, dropping the character figurines at the bar table and putting the sign-up sheet next to it. Slowly, the restaurant starts filling up with players with George gradually losing his mind at the number of footballers from his favorite team.

You finally get him to leave, but only by promising to convince the team to take a picture with him when he came back to pick up the boards. You're pretty sure he's already making plans to put it on a canvas and hang it on his bed.

You settle yourself behind the bar table to be in charge of the players setting up, each time expecting it to be Jamie standing in front of you. You try and keep your focus on the task at hand every time you hear the boys greet someone new.

Isaac and Colin are the next to write their names and they give you a look that you can't quite decipher. Soon enough, Jamie finally gets here and you straighten up in your seat. He greets some of the players till his eyes land on you.

He approached the bench and once he looked up, he observed out loud. "You're here,”

"Aw, did you want to get rid of me that badly?" You mimic him before explaining that you finished your leave earlier, "just to see you, of course." — with some truth behind that statement. Jamie laughs — albeit, a little awkwardly, — and takes the clipboard. As he signs up, you decide to take the chance to tease him. "Heard you were talking about me to your teammates."

Jamie's eyes widen and he stops writing to shoot glares at the rest of AFC Richmond, not sure who told you. Jamie turns back to you and you laugh. "Don't worry, Tartt. I'm sure you just told them how I'm an absolute god at the game and you're glad I'm not playing tonight." The football player simply rolls his eyes as he joins his teammates.

Once the whole team is complete along with their kit-man Will, you decide to start the tournament. "Okay, hi everyone! Welcome to your board game night." The crowd cheers and you're startled by their enthusiasm. You quickly explain the rules of the night, — though they seem to already know most of it, — and the order of players. It's a draw lots method, so the players will be randomly given a character and an opponent.

Once everyone gets their characters and settles in, you start making rounds in case anyone had any questions. After a while, you start heading back to the bar when someone taps you on the shoulder. You find Jamie already done with his round.

"How'd you win that quickly?" You don't try to hide the surprise in your voice. "Even I take like 20 minutes minimum to win."

"Oh I didn't," Jamie clarifies, and you widen your eyes. "I just couldn't attack Dani. I mean, look at that face." You turn to their table and find Dani smiling at you — "This is fun!" — and waving using his Dracula figurine.

You laugh at his reasoning. "Alright then, guess you're done for the night." You walk back to the bar and Jamie stops on the opposite side of it.

"You hungry? Sam said there's prepped meals in the back and since none of the games are ending soon…" Jamie offers and you obliged, seeing as this might be the only time you might ever get to eat in this restaurant. He grabs two plates from there and settles down next to you. Surprisingly, he managed to grab one of your favorite dishes. You remember mentioning to him that you had tried it at another restaurant in the past and loved it, but you doubt he even remembers it and dubbed it a coincidence.

You decide to keep the topic off board games and instead let him talk about what he's doing since he last saw you. Turns out they had multiple back-to-back matches, so practice was tight and he didn't have time to visit you. He also said the next time he did, it was one of your teenage co-workers manning the counter.

"Oh, Chuck! Yeah, he's pretty shit at board games." You say blankly while you shove another spoonful of food into your mouth.

"I ended up just buying a card game and leaving." Jamie continues and you laugh.

"Sorry, you went all the way there for just that. I go to class on Wednesdays, so I don't have a shift then." The conversation then shifts to your degree and you explain that you plan on becoming a psychologist.

"There is another upside to getting that degree too," Jamie chimes in, and you tilt your head. "You can fuck with someone's head while playing."

"Okay, psychology isn't mind control." Though, you think about it for a second. "But it is pretty close. You’ll be my first victim.” You make your sound more ghostly in that last sentence and Jamie pretends to act terrified and faint.

There is a short silence between the two of you when you realize that most of the rounds are done. You start organizing the next round and once the games start, the other players start going around and rooting for their teammates.

It leaves the area near the bar much more isolated and Jamie lowers his voice. "About that card game I got, it's pretty fun, too."

"Yeah?" You ask as you bring your plate back to the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'd love to take you out and talk about it," you stop in your tracks before turning back to the footballer who adds, “If you want."

You turn around to see Jamie is much closer to you now. It's only then you realize how much taller he was than you, but despite that, you’re not intimidated, especially with him looking so expectantly at you.

It takes a second before your mouth turns into a smile. "I think I'd like that."

Jamie does this small bounce thing on his heels, before trying to tone it down. You only laugh and kiss him on the cheek before heading to the crowd of players. He follows suit and rests his arm on your shoulders.

Some of his teammates notice and start cheering. You look at them confused before deciding to ask Jamie, "Was this all an elaborate scheme to ask me out?"

He shakes his head, "No, 'course not. Was there a deal made after I lost a game to Jan? Possibly," The both of you laugh as you playfully push his head away. You start to accept that this unfairly attractive football player — whom you'll be going on a date soon — can be as much of a nerd as you.

If this is what George meant when he said game nights could get crazy, well, maybe you should’ve given them a chance earlier.

#jamie tartt #jamie tart x reader #ted lasso #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fic #jamie tartt fluff #ted lasso fanfic #jamie tartt fanfic

[softpine]

can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post #just sort of an update on the state of my brain #👍🏻 #btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3 #that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year #because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back #and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.

[sugarlywhispers]

ex!b.katsuki x reader ; m.izuku x reader — bakugou cheats on his gf, with midoriya's girlfriend.

☆– warnings; ANGST. mention and description of panic attacks, swear words, cheating (bakugou to reader; uraraka to midoriya).

☆–a.n; so here it is! a continuation to THIS DRABBLE. i honestly didn't plan it, but @imaginationmess started brainstorming with me about this a few weeks ago and i couldn't get it out my head! thank you, sweets💕 i hope you like this, even tho i still owe you that villain!bakugou drabble~🙃 i'll work on it soon, i promise~

☆–a.n; also, i decided to split it in several parts. i don't know tho how many parts there will be. i have at least two more parts already written. we will see...😉 don't worry, each link to the parts will be organized in my masterlist♡

The noise around makes you a bit jumpy. It's been weeks since you've been out of your apartment since that day you finally broke down in front of your best friend Mineta Minoru, after Kats-Bakugou finally picked his stuff out of your home.

You're sitting in a little coffee shop close to where you live, waiting. The chattering, the laughs, the kids playing and screaming, the cars and buses that drive outside, everything feels heavy on your chest as it pulls up and down fastly thanks to your breathing. You know what this is, it's not the first time it happened.

Panic attacks. 

You've been having them again since he left.

And you hate them. You hate him for being the reason they appeared again. The first time it happened Mineta had finally convinced you to go out and have some ramen with him late at night after his shift. You accepted, even though you felt your body weak and heavy, only wanting to stay in bed and keep sleeping. Least to say, it ended with Mineta carrying you in his arms, your body trembling non-stop and feeling like you were choking, dying.

But right now, Mineta is not here. And you can feel your throat being closed, like someone was grabbing you by your neck with each breath you take and slowly but firmly putting pressure, until you could breathe no more.

And just when it's about to happen, when you know you're about to make a scene in front of all these people, when the darkness is making its presence in your sight, that he enters the coffee shop.

You don't know why but seeing Midoriya Izuku after so many weeks since you told him the truth, seeing him stand there at the door, a black hoodie that says "HOODIE" in the front and jeans and his typical red trainers as he scans the whole place until his green eyes find yours and smiles openly at you, seeing him walk towards you and getting bigger with each step he takes in your direction –was he ever that big and tall?–, seeing him say "hi" politely to some people who recognized the Number One Pro Hero under the hoodie as he walks inside the place. 

Just seeing him… it takes the pressure off your neck. You can breathe again.

"Hi, Y/N, sorry I'm a bit late," he greets with a shiny smile as he sits in front of you. "I had to finish some paperwork from the night patrol."

You open your eyes wide, "Y-you-" your voice sounds throaty and rough, so you clear your throat. He frowns, watching your neck, but he respectfully waits for you to continue, eyes back on yours, watching you with kindness. "You had night patrol? If I knew, I wouldn't have bothered‐…"

"Oh, no! You didn't bother me at all! You're never a bother, Y/N." His smile is radiant, it's been so long since you had seen someone smile that way in your direction. You feel bad for Mineta. When was the last time he had smiled in your presence? A real, genuine smile. You forgot. "I was hoping you got my message and that you would answer, on your time. But you did answer." You look down, you think his smiles will make you go blind because of its shine.

It was two weeks ago–or three?, you feel like you lost track of time, being on your bed and only getting up when Mineta forced his way into your apartment to make you eat or shower. It's been a while since Midoriya left that message to go grab coffee together. And he had been waiting, and you just now answered.

"I'm sorry… I needed…"

"Time, I know. Me too. It took me a while to process everything. I didn't want to get up off my bed, I barely ate… We both needed time."

You look up at him again and you see him swallow thick, like it's difficult for him to talk about it. And you get it. Fuck, thinking about it only makes you want to cry again. You get it. So you pull one of your hands that were grabbing the cloth of your pants tightly in order to help ground yourself a few moments ago when the panic attack was almost on the surface, and grab his that is laying on the table in front that separates you both.

He looks at it for a moment, your thumb caressing the scars on his hand like it's nothing, and when he looks back up, you try to smile reassuringly.

Everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay, that's what Mineta tells you every day he goes to check on you. You started to believe he says that aloud to reassure himself more than you, seeing how you didn't have the force to even feed yourself some days and he had to do it. It took you a few days ago, when you tried to reach your phone, you had to get up from the bed and when you did, your legs gave up, making you fall straight to the floor, hitting your chin so hard you think you bit your own tongue as you tasted blood in your mouth. How was this you? Did he really have so much power over you that turned you into this corpse that couldn't even get up to reach the damn phone? Fuck no. You decided it was enough. You decided you were going to be okay.

You know your smile it's not the prettiest or most comforting at the moment, but you try. You try for Midoriya, before saying, "We are going to be okay."

His eyes fill with tears, so visible it makes you want to hold him, protect him–and he's freaking Hero Deku, the most powerful hero on Earth and the Symbol of Hope for humankind. Yet, you can't avoid feeling. Feeling that he doesn't deserve anything that happened. Feeling that he deserves so much happiness and kindness, and he hasn't had that in a long while apparently. It's frustrating watching him break, even this little as he doesn't let the tears escape his eyes and smiles back at you.

Two hours pass and Midoriya and you are still in that coffee shop, chatting animatedly, laughing even. Remembering old times, talking about the present and the future, and about the friends that connected you both.

It feels like… a rush of fresh, cold wind after a hot and humid summer day. You have been so used to the hot, the fire, you forgot that cool, fresh relief existed.

Your phone starts ringing in your little bag and you search it as Midoriya laughs at something you said about Mineta.

"And it doesn't end there…"

"Oh my God, it doesn't? What else could Mineta have done to Bakugou? I understand now why Shoto had to be called in to assist him. Mineta was faking stuff so he wouldn't help him… Genius." You see the tears at the corner of his eyes, but this time they are from laughing. And you find yourself thinking you like that better than the previous tears.

You shake your head, smiling, "He started leaving his purple sticky balls under Bakugou's car wheels." That's it. Midoriya laughs so hard it makes everyone look in your direction. But you don't mind, for the first time in a long while, you don't mind people's attention on you. Midoriya's there. And he's laughing. He is laughing. 

Life seems a bit brighter.

You pick up the call without really looking who it is. "Hello?" You talk in between laughs.

"Y/N? Oh, where… Where are you? I came to the apartment and freaked out when I couldn't find you!" Mineta says, a bit agitated. But you can't avoid laughing again given that the person you were just talking about with Midoriya called you, it is such a funny timing. You signal with a finger to your phone looking at Midoriya and word 'Mineta', which makes him laugh even harder. Midoriya understood the funny timing too. "Are those laughs? Are you laughing?!"

"Sorry… Yes. I'm with Midoriya. We came to grab a coffee."

You can hear Mineta's surprise, you can even picture his eyebrows pulling up high. "Midoriya? As in… Midoriya Izuku?"

"Yes, love, Midoriya Izuku." That makes the green-headed man in front of you shut a bit and look down at his hands. Weird.

"Ow, you haven't called me love in a while… I'm gonna cry," you roll your eyes at your best friend's dramatics.

"Shut up. Do you need something? I'll be back in a bit."

"Oh, no, bun. I just came to bring you lunch and then I have to sign in. I'll probably be on shift until late at night so I made sure I cooked enough so you have leftovers for dinner too."

You smile. Your heart feels warm, and you can't help but think you have one hell of a best friend.

"I love you."

"Oh, I'm definitely crying now."

You chuckle, "Take care today, okay?"

"Always am, bun. Have fun with Midoriya, but I can already tell you are..." You can hear the suggestive tone, and you want to punch him.

"Shut up."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

You end the call and look at Midoriya. He's not smiling anymore, just looking at his hands. His fingers fidgeting with each other, his mind clearly in thought.

"Sorry, I didn't tell Mineta where I was going today. He was worried…"

"Oh, yeah, no problem."

It sounds like there is, so you try to dissipate the tension you don't know what produced it.

"You want to know what else Mineta did?"

Midoriya looks up, eyes open wide, smile returning to his face, "There's more?!"

You nod, also smiling. "He once even left them inside the car, messing up with the engine."

"Oh my God! That's why Bakugou asked for another hero to assist him from now on!" Midoriya laughs again. You shake your head and he stops mid-laugh. "That's… It's not? Then what-...?"

"Do you really want to know?" You raise an eyebrow, sounding cheeky and challenging.

His stance changes, you see a spark in his eyes you have never seen before. He smirks and rests his elbows over the table and gets closer to you, his eyes connected to yours, as he murmurs almost in a low tone whisper, "Tell me."

You can feel your cheeks warmer under his gaze, but find the courage to copy his action and get closer to him, even closer to his ear to whisper in a secret.

"Mineta left cockroaches on the copilot seat, for when Uraraka entered the car."

You back away a bit to look at his face. He looks completely surprised, before throwing his head back and laughing so so hard, completely forgetting they are in a public space.

You laugh too, but because he is laughing so lively. You decide then that you'll try that more. Make him laugh.

#mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #midoriya x reader continuation #mha midoriya izuku x reader #mha midoriya izuku #mha midoriya angst #mha midoriya fluff #mha angst #mha fluff #bnha midoriya izuku x reader #bnha midoriya izuku #bnha midoriya x reader #bnha midoriya angst #bnha midoriya fluff #bnha angst #bnha fluff #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku fanfiction #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku angst #midoriya izuku fluff

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Emma to Cristina

Dear Cristina!

Sorry to startle you, I just wrote “Dear Cristina” with the comma first and it seemed a little down. Thought I would try to spice it up a little. And I want to hear from you because I miss you and it’s highly annoying that you couldn’t be in New York. 

Why did Nene have to pick this exact time to visit you guys? Is it because she has faerie intuition and carefully decided to keep us apart? I mean, no, probably not, she seems like a pretty good person. But still! Show up a week later, Nene! Also disappointed to hear that she didn’t spill anything about what the heck is up in the Seelie Court. I guess if she had given up the court’s secrets to Kieran — who is, technically, the King of the Unseelie Court — the Seelie Queen would consider that “bad” and Nene to be a “traitor,” but that’s nothing compared to how much we want to know what’s up.

Anyway. We’re back from New York, where the weather was much worse than in London, but whatever. We’d sent that picture of the candlesticks from the church to Alec, and he showed them to his mom, who recognized them. She said Robert had brought them along with a bunch of other inherited Lightwood stuff when they left Idris for NYC, and she had no idea what had happened to them since, but they were probably in the NY Institute somewhere. Well, we’ve got the Ghost Sensor, so we said goodbye to Rupert and headed over. (Julian wondered whether Rupert misses us when we’re gone, but it’s hard to tell if ghosts can tell the passage of time. In any case we didn’t find sad faces drawn in the dust when we came back, or anything like that.)

So we saw Jace and Clary, of course, and Alec came to help. I think he was really curious since it’s his family’s stuff. (We were hoping to see Simon and Isabelle but they were off recruiting for Shadowhunter Academy. And Magnus stayed home with the kids. He texted us a video from their apartment where he asked Max and Rafe, “Are we going to help our friends?” and they both shouted, “No!” It was cute. I mean, Max and Rafe were cute. Magnus was maybe milking it a little.)

Finding the candlesticks was…pretty easy, actually, kind of anticlimactic. They were hiding in plain sight in the church’s nave among all the other candlesticks and candelabras and other candle-related things. And the Sensor led us right to them. So maybe they weren’t removed in the Blitz but instead the Lightwoods took them back? Or maybe they were removed and then brought back and sometime after that Robert’s parents took them out of the church? We’ll probably never know, but it also probably doesn’t matter since, whatever, we have them, mystery solved.

In celebration we ordered a pizza and ate it by the light of the candlesticks. New York pizza! It is the best. It hurts to say that a little, as an LA girl, but the truth is the truth. I’d missed it so. Pizza in London is…well, best not to speak of it.

So while we were eating Jace asked Alec if there was any news from Idris, and Julian and I kind of looked at each other because there’s never news from Idris, the Cohort have all shut themselves in there and refuse to come out or let anyone in, you know the deal.

Alec revealed that they had been working on some new variation on fire-messages that would be able to get through the wards around Idris. Mostly using Clary’s power to invent new runes. They’ve been sending them for a while, trying different things, but hadn’t gotten any responses until very recently when they heard from one of my least favorite people, Manuel.

So Alec and Manuel have apparently been sending messages back and forth. Zara refuses to respond and Manuel implied that she didn’t like that he and Alec were talking. Alec thinks he might be lying and Zara might not even know. But Alec also thinks Manuel is tired of being stuck there and might be their way in, since (as we all know) Manuel cares about Manuel above everything else, certainly way more than he cares about the Cohort’s supposed mission. Like Jace said, Zara is a true believer, but Manuel is just an opportunist.

This was all super-interesting, of course, but Julian and I started to feel bad remembering that Alec is, you know, the Consul. Julian said he knew Alec had important Consul stuff to do and it was great that he had come to help find the candlesticks anyway. And then Alec said a really nice thing! He said that their New York crew had always had to work in secret, that they’d always thought of the Clave as the enemy. Well, maybe not the enemy, but not their ally. The Clave they grew up with, you know, locked Jace in the Silent City and refused to believe that Valentine was returning. They would never have thought of going to them for help. So Alec said it was really important to him as Consul to actually be there for the Shadowhunters, to be someone they could know and talk to and bring problems to, rather than hiding. And I guess we did know Alec personally before, and they are his family’s candlesticks, but still, it was nice that he thought of it as part of his Consul duties to help us out, rather than thinking of it as something taking time away from his Real Work. He said this was his Real Work, and we’d better not stop coming to him and Magnus for help.

So then after a while Clary announced that she and I needed to have some girl talk and whisked me off to Taki’s for coffee. Julian she left with Jace and Alec. When last I saw him Jace was guiding him towards the weapons room to take a look at the collection of 17th-century Spanish military swords he’d recently found in one of the church weapons caches somewhere in New York. Julian watched me leave like a puppy being taken to the vet for shots, but I think he had a good time. So he says, anyway.

Clary and I settled into a booth at Taki’s. She wanted to ask me how I was doing, and I started telling her, but she seemed distracted, and I realized that maybe she needed to talk to me about how she was doing. Which turned out to be true. She’s worried because Alec likes to believe the best of people, and he’s really optimistic about the progress they’ve made getting in touch with Manuel, but Clary thinks Zara is a manipulative psycho. On which topic we agree.

“You think it’s a trick?” I said. “Or a trap?”

She said she didn’t know. But then she kind of argued with herself and said she understood how important it was to open up Idris, that she knew the Clave couldn’t survive forever split in two like this.

I said it seemed like it was really weighing heavily on them, and she kind of sighed and gave me the big news, or rather the lack of big news, which is that she and Jace have decided they don’t want to get married until the Clave is reunited. And Simon and Isabelle feel the same way.

“It’s not like there’s any reason to rush,” she said. She was looking out the window as she said it, though, and she sounded kind of sad. “But we don’t want a wedding where all anyone is thinking about is how Idris is off-limits and the Clave is broken.”

She kept looking out the window, so I asked if she saw someone out there, and she kind of looked guilty and turned back to me. “Oh, no, I thought I saw Jace for a minute, but it wasn’t him.”

Finally we got around to how I’m doing and I got to tell her the thing I’m worried about, which you and I have talked about a little. Which is that Julian and I are fixing up this house and I guess…we’re going to move here? Like, move to London. And out of Los Angeles for good. And I haven’t really gotten to think about what that would be like. I was thinking of it as a kind of temporary thing where we would fix up the house and then go home. And it’s easy to feel that way because of all the stuff going on with the Clave.

But for Julian, this will be our new home. And I can’t blame him for wanting that. I mean, for one thing, he’s a Blackthorn and it’s Blackthorn Hall. But we grew up in Los Angeles. I’m an LA girl, all my memories of my parents are of them in Los Angeles. But then we both do have many hard memories from the LA Institute, and it would be nice to put them behind us and get a fresh start. I don’t know. Do you ever find it strange, that you live in New York now? And Faerie? Do you miss the D.F.?

Maybe it’s Idris being out of reach that makes it feel so strange. I grew up always knowing that however spread out the Shadowhunters might be we all had a home together in Idris. It held the Clave together all over the world. But what if Idris is really gone for us, Cristina?

What if it’s gone forever?

Xoxox

Emma

#sobh #secrets of blackthorn hall #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #clary fairchild #taki's diner #the clave #cristina rosales #blackstairs

[shenqingqiustanaccount]

/r/relationships

My (32m) husband (30m) keeps saying he isnt gay. We've been married for five years. Help?

We met when i was working as a freelance writer. He was one of my regular readers, and he hated my writing so much that he paid me to move in with him (dont ask, it's complicated) so that he can edit my stuff. To his credit my work has gotten a lot better since then, but that also might have had to do with regular food & the lack of rent. Anyway we started making out like 3 months in. things clearly escalated and now we're married and we have 2 cats.

For like a year after I moved in he kept on saying that he was straight. Since we were having sex I kind of thought he was joking? Or that he at least stopped thinking he was straight when he introduced me as his partner to his family. He stopped bringing it up at some point anyway, and i figured it didnt matter after we got married. Only recently i brought up how he used to think he's straight and he told me HE STILL IS. How the fuck does that make any sense? Who can be straight after nearly 10 years of monogamous dicking?? I've never even heard him call a woman attractive!!! He is CONSTANTLY telling me about some new hot dudes he's seen!!

How do I convince my husband that he's probably not straight?

Edit: stop calling me fake i WISH i were joking but he is very serious about this. i asked if he thought i was attractive, and he said of course he does. i thought that was a "gotcha" moment but he said that because the protagonist of my novel is a self-insert, and that i described him as the most attractive man ever, my husband would obviously be attracted to me? because of novel protagonist logic?? i literally do not understand

Edit 2: Okay, i've tried some of the (ACTUAL) suggestions people left. I printed out pictures of "hot" people, men and women, and asked him to sort into a Hot and Not Hot pile. Most of the men were deemed Attractive and all the women (+some men) were deemed Not. i asked him what that means. i can't remember his exact logic but i think it boils down to the fact that he thinks all of his opinions are actually objective fact. i guess it's nice that he thinks I'm objectively hot. i spoke with his siblings, they all agree that he's absolutely gay, and they talked to him individually but he's still telling me he's straight.

Edit 3: i was going to ignore all those comments but you ASSHOLES won't leave it alone. YES, WE MET BECAUSE I WAS A NOVELIST AND HE HATED MY BOOK. He was NOT normal about it. i don't know what else to tell you. He's a closeted rich kid (as some of you had guessed already) and i guess he just yearned for the touch of a man so hard that i had to marry him. Whatever. it was our anniversary yesterday and he said "no homo" when he gave me flowers because i guess i was too insistent about him being gay. he was kind of joking but definitely not entirely.

Edit 4: some of you have guessed my pen name?? how??? A few others have even guessed my husband's username. Absolutely insane. I didnt even give that much info. He still says he's straight btw. Honestly i've kind of given up on changing his mind, but i did direct him to some queer websites a couple people suggested, so maybe reading more about internalized homophobia will cure him? It's actually stopped being funny and now I'm worried for his mental health, so I'm really hoping that personal stories he can actually relate to might do something.

Edit ??: you've fucking done it guys. he found this post. my sweet darling husband yelled at me for 5 minutes. those websites must've worked though, because he can easily go on for 20 minutes if he actually cared, and all the replies people left maybe helped a bit too. he actually apologized to me at the end!! can you believe that??? if you want to see him in all his glory he's the jerk with all the awards and upvotes in the comments here. you will definitely recognize him for a stephen king antagonist when you see him.

Edit 6: our cats are named Crybaby and Little Fucker 😊

#svsss #shang qinghua #cumplane #dont talk to me about reddit im scared of reddit #i only vaguely know how the posts are formatted #fanfiction #<-recently added since more than one person asked if this was real #sorry folks 🙏 it is not real

[alice-angel12x]

Born of unkown Stardust

Ch. 5

summary: The angles formed the world and all mortal life from dust. One day from the unknown the angels came across bizarre dust, that seemed to have a will of its own. It refused to be molded and shaped to the angel's will. So they cast it aside, till a certain angel got his creative hands on it.

The plot of chap: Yuu goes to earth hoping to fix Lucifer's mistake. So he could be granted back into Heaven! At least Yuu hopes.

(bittersweet story) (platonic) Lucifer x (???) Reader x Sera

(Warning: Blood, violence, and Gore)

<-Part 4/ Part 6 ->

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sera from time to time would see Yuu interacting with Adam. Sera was kind enough, the seraphim could recognize the slight sorrow in Adam's eyes when he watched Little Yuu.

One day, Sera had to attend a meeting with the high elders, so she left Yuu in Adam's care for a short while. Little simply sat in Adam's lap as they played with his feathers. As Adam stared down at Yuu, flashes and glimpses of his children's images would appear over Yuu. Sometimes it would be Cain, but it was mostly Abel.

-------------------------------------------

"Dad!" Abel called out.

Adam looked up from his work on the fields to see his two sons running towards him.

"What's got you two so worked up?" Adam asked as he took a break from plowing the fields.

"Abel won't stop asking about weird stuff. Like "Where did we come from? Are there beings in the sky?" Cain scoffed.

"Cause they're are, and that's why we are here? They put us here? Why?" Abel asked.

"They are real, as for why they made us... I don't know," Adam answered honestly.

"See, it's made up," Cain said.

"Look, they said as long as we reframe from sinning, and get to heaven. You can ask them all of your questions Abel," Adam sighed as he knelt down to the boy's level.

__________________________________

"Are you okay Mr.Adam?" Yuu asked.

"I miss my kids... And my wife," Adam said with a tired sigh.

"Oh... I miss my Da too. I wish he didn't break his promise to me. Then none of this would have happened," Yuu said, trying to sympathize with Adam. "What happened to them?"

"A monster took them away," Adam said sadly.

"A monster?" Yuu asked.

"Yeah, the monster that Lucifer and Lilith allowed to into Earth. It made one of my sons to do something horrible. And Snatched my other before he could arrive here," Adam said, as shadows covered his eyes.

Yuu frowns sadly at the weight of Lucifer's actions. This was no gift at all. Yuu not knowing what else to do, the little tot hugs him. The first man sighs with a slight smile, as he ruffles the child's starie hair.

"Thanks, kid," He says quietly.

"Yuu!" Sera called out. "It's time to go home,"

"Looks like your mother is here. Be good okay," Adam said as he gently got Yuu on their feet.

"Bye, Mr.Adam," Yuu said as they run over to Sera. Adam weakly waves back as Yuu joins Sera.

"Mother... What's the monster that took Mr.Adam's kids away?" Yuu asked.

Sera paused for a moment, and slightly turned back to sent a slight miffed expression Adam's way.

"Remeber the curse, that Lucifer let into earth?" Sera asked, and Yuu nodded. "Well the monster Adam mentioned and the curse are almost one an the same."

"How does that work?" Yuu asked curiously.

"Well... The Monster Adam mentioned is where the curse comes from. The Monster's name is Roo. And she wants to spread sin and chaos everywhere, to all realms and creatures," Sera explained lightly.

"So Roo is where the curse comes from, and this curse tempts people to want to do bad things?" Yuu asked, slowly putting the pieces together. "So how did Da's ''gift'' cause her access to earth?"

"Lucifer claimed that his gift was free will. However, upon inspecting his creation, what it was really. Was Knowledge of Good and Evil. The knowledge that humans were not ready for," Sera explained.

Yuu nods slowly as they and Sera stand before a large orb, that shows the image of earth.

"It's so pretty," Yuu awed.

"It is, and a lot more beautiful in person," Sera smiles gently. "Would you like to see it?"

"Can I?!" Yuu gasped.

"It took a lot of convincing, but I managed to convince the elders to let you see the earth," Sera said, when Yuu suddenly tackled and hugged her dress.

"Thank You Thank You!" Yuu shouted excitedly.

"And Since it is also your birthday," Sera smiled confidently as she scooped up the little tot. "With some negotiating on top of the visit. The Elders agreed to let you create 5 things for the earth."

"OH! You're The Best Mom Ever!" Yuu smiled as they hugged Sera tightly.

"Thank you, Yuu" Sera smiles as she hugs Yuu close.

Sera watched with pride as Yuu looked at the beauty of the earth in all it's splendor. Yuu quickly got to work, thinking and planning the limited 5 creations they were allowed to make.

Sera watched on in wonder as the first creation was brought to life.

"I present to you... The Amazing Fantastical Flying Duck!!" Yuu shouted as they presented their first creation.

"Quack," The Duck said as it suddenly flapped away from Yuu.

Sera smiled and clapped her hands in applause as she watched the first batch of ducks take to the sky.

"You were quick to create many creatures. You made lots of birds I noticed. Was The Duck your last one?" Sera asked.

"No I made one final thing, and it's not a bird," Yuu smiles proudly.

"Umm, Where is it?" Sera asked curiously.

"We have to wait till nightfall," Yuu smiles playfully.

"Well we can't stay too long into the night okay," Sera reminded, when something caught their attention.

There was a rustle in the bushes. Yuu and Sera watch with bated breath when suddenly. A human woman with a baby tumbled out of the bushes. She was covered in rope burns, scars, and wounds. In her arms was a baby.

She came to a halt as she stared in awe and fear at the otherworldly beings before her.

"P-Please, Please help him," The woman begged as she held a baby close to her chest.

Yuu looked on sadly as they stepped forward, but Sera remained cautious. As Yuu held out their hands, the women handed the bloodied body of a newborn baby.

Sera gasped in horror, as Yuu could only stare in paralyzed fear. The baby's heart was ripped out of its chest. There was no saving this child.

"Please! Please help him?!" The women cried.

"I-I can't it-" Yuu was cut off as warm blood splats all over their face.

A long wooden spear was forced through the back of the woman's head and out the mouth. Yuu wanted to scream at the sight, but they froze. Sera quickly covered Yuu's eyes as she removed the corps from Yuu's hands. The Seraphim quickly scooped up the star-touched tot and retreated through the portal. The last thing Yuu saw was a group of humans laughing maniacally as they ripped the corpses apart. And in the shadows of the trees, a smirking demonic face hovered over the humans. Blood poured from the monster's mouth a horrific eldritch tongue.

The demonic form looked up to catch the few glimpses of Yuu, as she creepily waved a goodbye.

------------------------------------

"Yuu, I'm so sorry you had to witness that. I was so certain the location I chose was far away from humans. I'm sorry I ruined your birthday," Sera apologized as she held Yuu close.

But the image of the events scared Yuu's mind as Sera approached the pearly gates. There standing at the gates was Adam, who was minding his own business till he noticed Sera rushing towards the gate.

Before he could ask what was the matter, he saw the blood that caked Yuu's horrified face.

"What happened?!" Adam questioned as he flew up to Sera's level to check on Yuu.

"No, we came across horrible humans," Sera sobbed as she held Yuu's tiny trembling form.

"Hey, you're safe now kid," Adam said softly as he whipped away the blood on Yuu's face.

"I saw it," Yuu said as the adrenaline slowly started to fade.

"Saw what?" Adam asked.

"The monster," Yuu sobbed.

Adam and Sera froze at those words. Yuu could feel Sera's hold on their small body tighten.

After some time, Sera tucked Yuu in for bed and quietly slipped out of the room. But Worry filled her mind and she alerted what Yuu had witnessed. This was brought great concern to the elder council.

"Not only did Lucifer allow such a thing to into what was supposed to be good. It is now snatching any and all souls before it can even reach heaven!" One elder shouted in frustration.

"And with Roo's presence so close, she is corrupting every human. The things that these humans are doing are sickening," Another sighed.

"What did I say. What Did I Say! I knew this "invention" of Lucifer's was a horrible Idea. This could have all been avoided if he just listened to reason," A different Elder groaned.

"What done is done, but the real question is what do we do know?" Sera asked. "The more human souls she gathers, the stronger she gets."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Tags:

@@littleladydemon  , @corvid007, @ellaprime7, @just-here-reading, @kyo-kyo1

#luficer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #lucifer x y/n #lucifer morningstar x y/n #lucifer morningstar x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin sera #hazbin hotel sera #Hazbin hotel Sera x reader #hazbin hotel angels #Born of Unkown Stardust

[factual-fantasy]

26 ASKS!! THANK YOU!! :}}} 🥪

(Post in question)

WAAHAHAAG THANK YOU SO MUHC!!! :DDDD As for your questions-

Spider crab's name is just a place holder for now, much like a lot of the crew has.. I want to give them all proper names at some point. Like Ellie and Louis have.. But I'm just really bad at coming up with names for stuff- <XD 💔💔

For Luigi- no one in particular! I just wanted to draw him with that expression <XD And don't worry, Mario cheered him up in the end :}}

As for the FNAF doodle, thats Foxy, Roxy and Mangle! I get that its hard to recognize her by her side profile and without color though-- <XD I had experimented with some ideas of a pirate themed Glamrock Mangle being added to one of the AUs. Though that sketch was the only one I really liked. :/

I have seen Encanto! :D It was alright, I liked the living house aspect of it :00

As for Red, I thiiink he might be too young to understand fusion or how to do it.. I pictured him being.. like what, five? Or something? That's like half the age of when Steven first learned to fuse-

That, and it felt a little odd for him to fuse with any of the crew, since they're all so much older than him. :/

@astaherussy (Post in question)

XD Sure were! Convenient aren't they?🤣🤣

I've definitely heard of it, and I've seen some gifs/posts about it here and there.. but truth be told I have no idea what its about. :( I think I've seen two Mario's and one wears a black suit...?

(Link/video in question)

XDD I imagine Ellie would shut that down real quick. But in the off chance that they get away with it.. I feel like Louis would come out on top.

He could block any oncoming attacks with his unbreakable claw arm, then whip around and launch whole watermelons and pies with the other XDD He would probably think it was fun too!

Does the game have large birds like that?? :0 I had no idea! They gotta be on the look out for those then--

Oof, I suppose they could.. though I don't intend for either party to experience that. It just sounds miserable! D:>

(Link/video in question)

XDD Oh man, that's hilarious! Poor Red--

@yourstrulylightstar283 (Referencing this post)

Thank you! I hope I get better soon too.. I hope to have some answers by next week.. <:) 🙏

:DD Thank you! I'm so glad you like my Freddy! :))

I always kind'a felt like a certain.. gloomy-ness, would be fitting for him. He already has some of that in the game. But with everything my Freddy's been through.. just.. having this weight to his tone. This lingering exhaustion.. I felt like it would suit him. :(

Hmm... I imagine that Seam and Jevil would be options.. Maybe in bad cases Calico Jack would.. Almost everyone in FNAF is an option <XD

No.. in a sad twist of fate, no one ever heard his cries in the dungeon. Imagine how much more lonely he felt becuase of that..

I don't know if he gets phantom pains from getting beat up.. but I imagine his horn stumps give him some aches and soreness that can be attributed to phantom pain.. :(

Who's gingerbrave? That's the main character right..? I have no idea if he'd come across my crew.. I don't know what kind of shenanigans he gets up to.. wait "gang"? He travels in a group with other people??

@chickenmilk120

fank uu! :}}}

@couchwow

Yeah,, I'm aware.. 😔🙄 ya hate to see it. But hey the watermark is right there saying "this art is stolen." so it could be worse I guess.

@littlelightfish

Tuna:

He is not being normal about it XDD You've totally flattered him!

@potatocryptid

Thank you!! :DD Yeah,, I think I WILL work on what ever I want!! XDD

Off the top of my head, there's an AWESOME Mario artist by the name of @katlyntheartist! I love her work, I highly recommend you stop by her blog! :D

I've also seen some jaw-dropping Mario artwork by @suedoodle! Both blogs are worth a visit! :}}

(Post in question)

Ah yes! The idea behind that was to show the initial divide between Grillby and Spamton.

You see, Spamton hails Jevil as his savior of sorts. He was at his lowest low, and in unimaginable pain.. then Jevil just swoops in and offers his hand. Bringing him outside of his AU. Away from the pain, away from the torment.. Jevil is awesome!!

But then you've got Grillby.. Jevil saved him from his AU right before it collapsed in on itself. He "saved" his life, but at what cost? Grillby lost everything. And he cant help but be angry at Jevil for it. Thinking that if Jevil hadn't been there, he could have just peacefully disappeared along with his family and everyone else in his AU..

So Spamton is endlessly respectful towards Jevil, and Grillby cant help but roll his eyes and spit sass at him all the time. Those two opposing views are bound to cause problems someday..

I imagine one day the whole group is tired and cranky. Jevil did something that Grillby didn't agree with. Some bitter remarks there, Spamton defending Jevil's decision here.. some back and fourth and next thing you know a fight breaks out. :x

@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you

XDD idk!! Why are YOU into almost every single fandom I'M into?? Also than you so much!! :}}

Thank you! I'm glad you like my sona! But aaa sorry, no can do.. I don't want fanart at all, of anything. Just comments/asks/reblogs. <:}

@canonickero (Sent after this post)

XD Thank you! I'm glad you like him :}}

I pictured Yendo being another one of Funtime Foxy's nightmare-ish visions. Though I should consider passing that onto Bon Bon.. 👀

The story goes that Funtime Freddy is a frequent flyer in parts and service. The employees groan that there's always something wrong with Freddy that needs fixing. Nobody really knows why..

Now at some point Freddy was shut down and in parts and service. As per usual.. Foxy was nearby, and heard a sudden thud/crash coming from that room. He rushes inside to see what happened and finds Funtime Freddy on the floor, what ever he was propped up on had broken, causing him to fall.

He looked at Freddy's face.. and.. his face plates were wide open..

Foxy. freaked. out. If I remember correctly, he was supposed to start shouting and panicking. Trying to help Freddy, thinking he was hurt. When he couldn't move Freddy and he wouldn't wake up, Foxy ran out of the room to get help. He runs into some employees and tried to tell them what happened. They end up just forcibly shutting him down because he cant stop freaking out..

Later on he's reactivated and the rest of the gang is with him. Including Freddy. He uncharacteristically runs to Freddy all worried and frantically inspects his face for injuries. They ask him what he saw but he just.. doesn't have the words to describe it.

Part of the horror is Foxy's inability to understand what he saw. Therefore being terrified of it and being unable to describe it..

After that Foxy began to develop these hallucinations of sorts. Overtime the image of Freddy's skinned face kind'a turns in to its own nightmare. Yendo.. overtime it feels more like "Yendo" is an entity separate from Freddy. Foxy begins to imagine this skinned bear like creature that is out there somewhere.. wanting to hurt Freddy and take his face.. its not fun :(

This idea is still in development. Well, the whole AU is. But this was my initial idea for Yendo :)

Now old man consequences is tricky.. I had intentions of him being this weird vison that Foxy sees now and again. But with recent developments to the AU.. I might need to scrap the old gator. Or at least re-write his role and function in the AU-

@stripetkattelalala54 (Post linked in question)

No problem! I'm always up for Mario questions! :DD

And as for the question, I pictured that Mario never really liked the ice flower to begin with. I imagined Mario loving the heat and the sun. Always enjoyed being warm/hot and functions the best in it.. You know like a maniac-

So the Fire flower was naturally his favorite powerup. And that experience did leave Mario with some kind of trauma, which just added to his dislike of it..

@beryl-shade

OOO I like Tendrilfoam! :00 Hmm, Captain Tendrilfoam.. I'll have to consider that one! :D

#my response #fnaf security breach #fnaf sister location #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ocs #my ocs #undertale #deltarune #octonauts #super mario bros

[prismatic-bell]

This is probably a really dumb question. But is it okay for us non-Jewish people to reblog the very lovely quote about how it's okay not to complete the work, but we're not allowed to abandon it? Because I'm not Jewish, I follow you, and b/c of your posts I've been seeing how really shitty we non-Jews are w/assimilation and stuff, & I don't want to do wrong by anybody. Thanks, Marbles

OKAY SO.

As with all things Jewish, there’s a short answer and there’s a good answer. There also is no “right” answer, because “two Jews, three opinions” is an underestimation of how many opinions you can fit into one Jew, but this is MY answer, and I think a decent chunk of Jews will probably find it at least mostly acceptable.

For those just tuning into this program, the quote @marblesarelost is referring to is my favorite in all of Judaism, and was written by Rabbi Tarfon in a section of Talmud called the Pirkei Avot:

“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Walk humbly NOW! Do justly NOW! No one is obligated to complete the work, but neither may any one desist from it.”

The “work” being spoken of is to repair the world, or in Hebrew, “tikkun olam.” It’s the central tenet of my movement in Judaism, the Reform movement.

So: you are absolutely correct that there’s a huge problem with gentiles appropriating things from Judaism. However, let’s go back to the original, actual definition of cultural appropriation, as created by Black women: it’s not just that you do a thing we do. It’s that you mock or berate us for a thing, then turn around and take that thing, strip it of all its original meaning, and use it, and suddenly in your hands it’s “cool.” When the concept of cultural appropriation first fell onto my radar circa 2016, one of the major examples was dreadlocks, and how clean, well-kept locs on a Black woman are “unprofessional” and “dirty” but the kind-of-vaguely-looks-like-locs-if-you-get-drunk-and-squint deliberately-created MATS some white people wear and call “locs” are seen as a sign you’re “boho” or “a free spirit.” This was closely followed by discussion of bindis, and how they’re treated with disdain when worn by Indian women but Taylor Swift or Ariana Grande puts one on and suddenly they’re sooooooo chic.

(Yes, in an ironic twist you couldn’t put in a book because people would call it unrealistic, the very concept of cultural appropriation has been appropriated.)

So with the actual, this-is-what-the-Black-community-meant definition in front of you for reference, take a look at these questions. These are rhetorical—anybody with the degree of self-awareness to say “I don’t know if this thing from a closed religion is for me” is probably not doing any of this. It’s just here for reference.

—do you see a problem with “Christian Seders” or do you think Jews should be flattered other people are interested, geez, it’s not like we’re being murdered?

—do you make fun of people wearing skullcaps/kippot/yarmulkes, or do you recognize it’s cultural garb?

—do you get all weird and pissy over the major Jewish holiday season being in fall rather than in winter?

—do you conflate Jews with Israel or do you recognize that these are two separate groups with some overlap?

—do you make fun of Orthodox clothing and hairstyles?

If you can honestly say “no, I realize this is a culture of its own and things I don’t understand aren’t necessarily ‘wrong’ or ‘weird,’ just different,” you’re in a good position to share Jewish voices.

HERE IS WHERE THE CURVEBALL COMES IN.

This quote is from Talmud.

And unlike things like, say….talking about a Seder you were invited to, or saying “may you be sealed” to a Jewish friend on Yom Kippur, the Talmud is not semi-closed, it’s *closed.* People study Talmud all their lives in the hope of gaining even a small glimmer of understanding. It has to be studied in the context of being well-versed in Torah and Jewish interpretation, because removing it from that context renders it entirely incomprehensible.

WITH THAT SAID.

I think this is one of the few places in Talmud where there is, at a bare minimum, a surface understanding that’s applicable to everyone. Certainly Rabbi Tarfon’s words carry additional weight with the force of Jewish learning and tradition behind them, but I’m pretty sure if you could sit down with him and say “Rabbi, your words inspired me to keep fighting for my community. When I was ready to give up your words reminded me I wasn’t alone, that anything I do in the interest of pushing forward justice and equality is a net positive, and I was able to keep going. I’m a gentile. Is it okay that I take this from your words?” he’d almost certainly be like “yes??? As you say, it’s a net positive, so why wouldn’t I be okay with you gleaning this?” It’s slightly different from a lot of Talmudic commentary in that it applies to the mitzvot of things like tikkun olam and pikuach nefesh, but these things can also be done outside the Jewish community without any reference to Torah at all. You can pay for a homeless person’s dinner and that’s tikkun olam. You can take a CPR class and that’s pikuach nefesh (or at least, preparing yourself to commit an act thereof, should it be necessary). You aren’t doing those things as mitzvot, because you’re a gentile—you’re doing them because you think they’re the right thing to do—but that doesn’t mean “don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to do it all, but don’t just give up either” isn’t good advice. We don’t call him one of our greatest sages because he was an idiot. Is there plenty more below the surface? Oh, for sure. Does that make the surface reading wrong? Not necessarily.

So: 99.999999% of the time, I would say you should not reblog Talmudic quotes. They’re not going to be relevant to you or your life experience and you’ll lack the background knowledge to interpret them.

But this one, specifically? Yeah. I’d say this one is okay. Make sure it’s sourced to Rabbi Tarfon and the Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Father, or to the Talmud.

And then go forth, and do justly now, and remember: you can’t finish the work alone. But you also don’t have the right to walk away.

Okay, fellow Jews, time for a pie fight in the comments. Have fun.

#you ask nina answers #nina blogs judaism #Jumblr