#again this kind of DEVELOPMENT

[nobie]

Cross actually telling his brothers he doesn’t want to go back to Tantiss. I can’t do it. He allowed himself to be vulnerable. Tantiss is clearly a trigger for his tremor. Actually being back there is not going to be easy for him.

“Tantiss isn’t a place I ever want to go back to.” But the fact that he even said that while displaying his hand so openly. I am unwell.

#again this kind of DEVELOPMENT #is not something to gloss over #they are changing and it shows 😭 #tbb spoilers #the bad batch #star wars #crosshair #nobie does stuff

[smultronviol]

Ppl going "waaahh unpopular opinion but Alice is kind of annoying and obnoxious and I don't think I'd like be her friend irl" is so funny to me bc like.

God forbid a cast of characters be multifaceted and have actual flaws and unpleasant aspects other than "grr angsty hero" and "whoops i'm so clumsy". Sometimes character dynamics and arcs need to be prioritized above "who would i personally be niceys with irl"

2. bro just WAIT until you hear about season 1 jon lol

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #season 1 jon was obnoxious and sometimes a straight up ASSHOLE and you were supposed to find him kinda grating!!! #yes alice IS a bit annoying and too much sometimes (esp in the first episodes) and i love that <3 #like. its p obvious that she uses the over the top-thing as a shield (to push ppl away/as a defense mechanism/to avoid being vulnerable) #we see her drop the act sometimes w ppl like teddy and sam who she actually feels comfortable around (and who know and understand her) #but like. she's stuck in a job she hates and is kind of afraid of (she KNOWS smth abt the horrors and is keeping her head down to survive) #(shes obviously afraid of sam going to far bc she KNOWS its dangerous) #so yes her act gets too much sometimes and yes sometimes she crosses the line into straight up mean (esp against gwen) #(but their dynamic is a whole other can of worms) #but like. i'm pretty sure its supposed to be seen that way. the audience isnt supposed to just find her kooky funny #the facade is supposed to be dismantled by the viewer etc etc #kind of like SEASON 1 JON the obnoxious bastard!!!!!!! #like. if you ever think alice is too mean towards gwen pls listen to s1 jon again and how he speaks abt martin?? #from a position as his boss no less? ngl i wanted to throttle him sometimes #you kinda forget abt it in the later seasons and if you only engage w fandom content. but like. go back and listen to the shit #he actually says. jesus christ man. i remember kinda hating him in the beginning #and to be clear i love jon! i think hes a great character! #and like. its almost as if his early season personality and facade was an important setup for his character development #and relationships with the other characters??? #but anyway 'alice is kind of annoying' is not an unpopular opinion its literally the FUCKING POINT #and both her and jon are my sweet baby angels <3 #alice dyer #jon sims #(and obviouslyyy you're still allowed to dislike a character ppl can have their own opinions etc etc etc. i just personally find it funny)

[sysig]

Ellen McLain’s commentary from my trivia playthrough

#She's so cute <3 #WPP #Portal #Ellen McLain #If you haven't played through the audio commentary I would Absolutely recommend it it is So fun #I clicked out of curiosity - kind of just expecting like a movie's audio commentary y'know? Like a video that highlighted specific scenes #No it's just the whole game again but with trivia pop-ups! I love that!! #It reminded me so much of like trivia track or the pop up fun facts from special editions of movies I would watch as a kid #But you can play through them!! You have to click on them and they spin! I love that!!! #I always love hearing the design and development process - fascinating how the playtesters reacted to this new game! #We take it for granted now but yeah I imagine it would've been very confusing at the time #And I was like ''Well it was such a small team and Ms. McLain was such a large part of it - surely she'll have a few bubbles?'' #She does lol - as soon as I got to her first one (it was a slow burn! They buried the lead with her lol I'm already invested!) I had to go #I saved-quit the game out of sheer excitement and giddiness lol I had to sleep on it before I was ready to come back #It is so cool to hear her natural voice ah <3 And the kinds of direction she was given! Other bubbles also talk about her vocal direction :) #Very cool! I wonder what TTS they used for reference :0 #But to hear her real laugh without the audio processing over and and she still sounds like GLaDOS! I mean of course she does but just jfdksl #That's /her/ laugh! They share a laugh! It's a very similar laugh!! #Not to mention her talking about wanting to play and just fdskalfd they clearly did such a good job with her performance and ahhh #It's too cute it's all too cute sharing a room with GLaDOS while her voice actor talks about making a cake to share with her friends stopppp #I am so enamoured <3 #I also took a bunch of screenshots of GLaDOS still shit-talking while she was being destroyed lol #Actually beat the ending in one try this time :P I ran out of time the last time pfft #But now I've beaten it twice in as many days :D Although I did start it the first time several days ago - but I beat it again quickly! #Has me all the more itching to replay 2 ♪ #WPVG

[nicky-jr]

genuinely one of the things that make me the most sad about s2 is just that dood had paeden/hermie syndrome and was just kinda forgotten until they were plot relevant. like i totally understand why (i can imagine dm npcs in the party are hard to keep track of/dm is more focused on the actual players) but the personification of an unknowable eldritch horror as a young, very impressionable, very unstable teenager who needs to be taught by other very unstable teenagers morals and how to be a human is such an intriguing concept but in the end not much is done with it outside of a few moments. they just kinda exist as a plot device and to restate the theme. and like thats fine, i just mourn what could've been yknow

#dndads #idk maybe this just isnt the medium for that kind of thing #or if the season were longer there would be more time for dood to develop and potentially fuck shit up #in my head i imagine dood growing even more fond of humanity now that they can actually interact with them in a real and healthy way #and they're like hey. what if i dont want to leave. what if i want to stay in this realm #what if i dont want to be alone again #or something. shrugs #anyway. ive had that on the mind for a while and finally remembered to get it out #back to drawing them #rambling

[kimazuiiii]

Also obsessed with how she’s the physical and metaphorical embodiment of a cherry blossom…

In Japan, the cherry blossom possesses contradicting significances and embodies matters that are mutually incompatible.

While cherry blossoms are aesthetically beautiful, they also represent violence and the ephemerality of life. From an individual level, cherry blossoms displayed both the joy of life (reproductivity, feminine sexuality, etc.) and the sorrowful side of life (impermanence of things and the significance of death).

The dual nature of cherry blossoms is present in Sakura as a character. This is made blatant through the appearance of sakura vs inner sakura which is clearly a metaphor for the concept of honne vs tatemae.

To further elaborate, the dual nature of her character is the crux of many of her inner conflicts throughout the series and it is also what fuels her growth. In both of these situations, Sakura is unable to express how she truly feels. Her actions contradict her thoughts and feelings, this is a consistent aspect of character within the manga.

(ino vs sakura and kage summit arc for instance)

Throughout the manga, she mentally struggles with being a shinobi. Her growth as a character is dependent upon her inner conflicts contradicting one another in an attempt to understand what it means to be a shinobi. Are they merely tools for the state, or is there something more?

The land of waves arc covers this explicitly but this question is posed once again for Sakura during Sasori vs Sakura where Sakura’s opponent, Sasori, quite literally turned himself into an emotionless puppet in order to deal with being a shinobi. He is the product of the teachings of Sunagakure, an oppressive military regime like many other shinobi villages, but also the result of someone who refuses to let go thus filling him with grief and resentment over the years (Art is eternal). It is no coincidence that Sakura, whose namesake symbolizes the fleeting impermanence of human existence, is the one to fight him.

Tied to the Buddhist themes of mortality, mindfulness and living in the present, Japanese cherry blossoms are a timeless metaphor for human existence. According to Buddhism, we live in the very midst of universal, fleeting impermanence. Any refusal to let go entirely whatever has now vanished inevitably leads to pain.

The meaning of cherry blossoms is also said to reflect the philosophy of a Japanese person, who lives in a country of impermanence, of earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanos. Thus, like cherry petals, they are willing to fall at the height of one’s life due to their awareness of the impermanence of life. The death of one’s flesh means a returning to the kami’s land, and the cherry flower becomes the bridge that links life to death.

#MORE OF ME RAMBLINGGH #META KIND OF? #there’s also the theme of death and rebirth being tied into how she develops as a character throughout the series #anyway happy birthday again to this queen..

[ying-doodles]

y'all should read rebar by @/jessepinwheel, it's about an au where suho can see og!lloyd's ghost and it's very well-written!

some fanart of the last chapter where javier is very confused about suho:

some design notes:

to differentiate the two lloyds, I decided to draw og!lloyd with the early webtoon hair (episodes 1 - 14)- :P honestly, he somehow seems more like a punk that way, which fits.

I drew suho's sword pommel like that cause it looks vaguely like a shovel handle lol-

EDIT: guys, I actually went back and fixed the hands cause they were bothering me so much,, (also I forgot to fill in suho's pants LMAO-)

#ying's art #fanart #the greatest estate developer #tged #kim suho #lloyd frontera #original lloyd frontera #javier asrahan #rebar #digital #the author is on tumblr but i am too much of a coward to actually tag them hhh #normally I'm kind of a og!lloyd hater but i did enjoy his redemption arc in this!! #posting at 4 am like a mad man for no reason #< again..

[sweetandglovelyart]

#Kirby #Kirby memes #Bandana Waddle Dee #Bandana Dee #Parasol Waddle Dee #Sailor Waddle Dee #Sailor Dee #rip Sailor Dee not appearing in a game since 2011 #I think my one complaint about Kirby as a series is that characters outside of the main four are often forgotten about or never used again #like I feel like every game will introduce a new character and then we maybe see them just one or two more times before they disappear #and don’t get me wrong I do enjoy seeing new characters introduced in new games #but I do wish that the characters that already exist would be acknowledged more or given more depth and development #because I feel like there’s a lot of potential there like we could see so many more stories or games involving them #I feel like there’s a lot of potential for more Magolor Epilogue type of stuff with other characters #I think it’d be nice to see what all the former antagonists have been up to after the end of their games #I think that Star Allies kind of does this a little bit but just on a surface level not more in depth #this is why I like exploring this stuff in my fanart lmao like if HAL/Nintendo won’t do it I’ll do it myself

[justarandomhelluvablog]

sorry sorry last time I'm talking about huskerdust tonight but does it fuck anyone else up knowing that Husk and Angel basically lived at the same time but were on opposite sides of the country. But also Husk went traveling. Like these two could have met while they were alive and wouldn't even know it. They didn't even know the other existed until they met at the hotel

Like I have. so many thoughts about this.

#hazbin hotel #Husk #Angel Dust #gods imagine how different things would have turned out for both of them if they'd met while alive #well I say that but they were deeper in their vices then than they are now so...... maybe they'd have made each other worse #or maybe they could have saved each other who knows #also just thinking about the idea of Husk and Angel meeting at a bar in New York back when they were alive #like not even knowing it was each other but having met and spent a night drinking in a bar together talking #maybe Angel was going around flirting for free drinks and Husk was waiting to board a ship to who knows where #and they're both neck deep in their own vices but Husk tries to give Angel some advice anyway (we dk if Husk's morals developed in Hell #when he lost his status or are remnants of his human life but I like to imagine he was a decent man who made a string of bad choices #we also don't know what kind of Overlord he was. for all we know the worst thing he did was bet souls so we dunno if he was cruel/immoral) #but Angel not heeding his advice bc who's gonna listen to an alcoholic amirite but he was fun to talk to and bought him drinks so #and them parting ways without even so much as learning the other's name. and all this happening just days before Angel dies #Husk doesn't even think about him again cuz he was just some dude at a bar and barely remembering bc it was ~20 years before he died #but Angel vividly remembering it bc it was one of the last memorable days leading up to his death #anyway thanks for listening to me ramble orz

[skitskatdacat63]

I drew all of my historical AU Sebs!!!!

In order they are(with relevant links to lore info if you are curious!!): Napoleonic Hussar Seb(x), Renaissance Muse Seb(x) and Boy King/Emperor Seb(x)

Let me know which you like best!!!

#oh my fucking god this was truly the endurance race of drawing sessions #i just drew for four hours straight or so......FUN! #and it is now almost 5 am on a school night so pls wish me luck in school haha #basically this spawned from me seeing if i could sketch all 3 of my Sebs easily and then whoops 4 hours later they are finished! #i think now i can draw the hussar uniform with my eyes closed. it was so comforting to draw honestly ;;;; #this is actually the first time ive drawn boy king seb with colors!! so i think it turned out pretty well? #hey guys do you notice what all of the Sebs have in common...? they all have a gold motif...GOLDEN BOY CODED!!! #anyways i think the most developed of these AUs is boy king seb which is funny bcs its the one ive created most recently #but gaahhhhhh ive done so much research and im literally brainrotting over it constantly #now i need to draw fernando in his 3 AUs hahaha but drwing Seb is sooooo much more easy/comfy for me #did you guys also notice i have a fondness for a specific seb hairstyle? malaysia 2010 my truly beloved youve served me so well #i mentioned this already but like i dont get how drawing these kinds of clothing is far more preferable to me than drawing racesuits #well anyways i have so much fun researching into these different eras!! and then very fun to mix it with the drivers #im very surprised i was able to draw this. im not usually able to draw good chibi anatomy #but like seriously i think i was posessed by my thoughts of boy king seb and i just couldnt stop drawing #in didnt really have any mental roadblocks which is surprising #but then again these drawings are me mixing my two major interests atm so ofc it'll come to me easily and make me passionate!! #anyways time to go sleep pwease dont let this flop my hands literally are overheated from drawing LMFAO #catie.art. #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanart #formula 1 art #formula 1 fanart #f1 art #boy king au #renaissance muse au #hussar au

[nicojoe]

I wrote my own fanscript of THE OLD GUARD 2

The screenshots above are samples...

... I got tired of waiting for Netflix, so:

I tried to incorporate the following:

TOG 2 casting (Uma and Henry) plus some locations where the movie was shot last year (as seen in set photos, etc)

my own personal "wish list" of details, but hopefully in a way that makes sense within the larger story (tried to avoid making it just a self-indulgent, shoe-horned laundry list lol) and in a way that it could conceivably be greenlit by the industry -- ie: I'd have loved to write 2 whole hours of them just hanging out playing board games and reminiscing, but that would never be made into a movie.

a few ideas inspired by some of my favorite meta posts/fan art/etc (some of y'all are SO much more creative than the people actually making these movies, istg) -- try to spot them all!

favorite "action" scenes from the Force Multiplied comic, despite this script not being a true adaptation (it just borrows the broader strokes)

the decision not to make Quynh a villain; she's arguably got a hero arc in this, tbh (the top 1% and their use of institutional/systemic oppression to exploit and control the masses is the real villain, actually!)

no new immortals or explanation of immortality, tyvm; I tried to focus on the Family of Six and their shared history as much as possible.

PDF FILE OF SCRIPT

#the old guard #the old guard 2 #fan screenplay #fan script #kaysanova #andromaquynh #fan fic #(kind of) #i just remember some of our most beloved fandom moments revolving around the release of the original film's script #and i know that I'm not a professional writer but I wanted to try and capture just a fraction of that enthusiasm for us again #we deserve it so much you guys we've been given less than scraps for so long... it's hard to maintain passion when you feel forgotten #i don't know what the actual movie's going to be like... but i don't trust netflix at ALL not to mangle the elements i love #(ie: prioritizing character development - found family dynamics - flashbacks - queer rep - meaningful/character-focused action scenes - etc #(this doesn't have a beta reader so if i fucked anything up please let me know so i can change it xoxo)

[trainingdummyrabbit]

in conclusion the most poignant thing about ruina is its running theme of Imperfection. imperfection, focused not on its flaws, but on the miracle of it existing to begin with. imperfection not as a failing, but as a triumph. its cracked, broken, deeply in need of repair-- but it's real and its ours and it exists. despite everything it exists and that enough is a relief beyond words, beyond expression. to present a toppled structure not as a conclusion, but an opportunity.

its the choice-- and the joy-- of looking forward, unflinchingly, and facing it. one step at a time.

#piktalk #projmoon #didnt want to . make a bigger tagwall than i already made . ae if ur reading this uhhhhhh sorry <33 hai KSJNFD #anyway one of these days i might get th voice to really truly put down everything and what it means in regards to . [motions w hands] #but this ones just on my mind right now. something abt the presentation of ruina just fucking Kills and this is the big reason why #ilike. had to take a good couple hours after th finale to just simmer with it. because well.. #again. its imperfection. every other story has such stark; lined up beats and paths and Messages Youre Supposed To Take #which ive spoken on before-- and it isnt a bad thing necessarily! but it does really speak something; quietly; #for those whose development Isnt That Neat. that Isnt That Kind. to themself or to others. im no expert; but it really does mean something #that ruina is written in such a way where there is no 'this is wrong and heres how they fix it to be forgiven' #or 'this is right and what everyone should do to be a Good Person' #angela simply Is. roland simply Is. they all simply Are. they make choices; have hopes; dreams; things they care about-- #and theres no overarching echo of What Should Be. simply what people do; and what people hope for. #um. anyway. tag wall again; in conclusion: Why Dont You Go Listen To Poems Of A Machine And Maybe Then Youll Calm Down

[hauntedshells]

the way everyone was freaking out about leo and april potentially being a thing in mutant mayhem when it was revealed(on a t-shirt of all things) as if it would be just like 2012 apriltello and now that the movie’s out I’m seeing everyone switching up and shipping aprilnardo like yeah no it probably wouldn’t be like 2012 because 2012 writing strengths were all plot and no character

#tmntmm #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #tmnt 2012 #aprilnardo #and the 2012 character writing was just generally bad so it would be kind of impressive if they managed to fuck up like that again #not that I dislike 2012 tmnt don’t get me wrong #but like objectively the writing was a WRECK #the characters were likeable at least but they never developed and when they did it just got reversed #hamato leonardo #leo tmnt #april o’neil #april tmnt

[2hoothoots]

because i'm predictable, what're bobby and chloe up to in the villain au? or how's the dynamic between sam and dogen since he's taken psychoisolation to the extreme?

Bobby's in a pretty similar position to the regular timeline - at least, at first glance. he's overworked and underpaid, constantly crunching to try and keep on top of the ever-growing mountain of paperwork his superiors keep handing down to him.

but i think the trajectory of his character looks pretty different? he never really met Raz at Whispering Rock. he never got humbled by him, never had to suffer the embarrassment of his spot as top dog being yanked away by some new kid... but he also never really got to go through a lot of the character growth from their ensuing rivalry? he's definitely mellower than he was as a kid, but he's got a lot of unresolved issues bubbling under the surface - anger problems, poor self-esteem, a tendency to lash out at authority figures...

he still really believes in the work he's doing, and wants the Psychonauts to be the force for good he knows they can be. but he's carrying a growing burden of stress and exhaustion, stuck in a toxic work environment that's more likely to change him (or just make him snap) than he is to change it.

his only real friend at the Motherlobe is Chloe. Chloe is... well! again, first-glance, not that much has changed. she works the same job in the Motherlobe's engineering and aerospace department, and she still gets to pursue her childhood fascination with space.

but the harsher work culture and the more pragmatic, efficient environment have exacerbated some of her less personable traits. she's blunt, rude, and almost fanatically devoted to her work, to the exception of basically everything else. her workplace safety standards are lax, and her ethics laxer. she'd sell the Psychonauts out for one corn chip if she thought it'd get her better funding for her pet projects

#my thesis is that Raz and Bobby made each other worse and then better #in this timeline Bobby never hit those lows. but he also never got to grow past them and develop as a person #he /hates/ vau Raz. but it's more as this faceless proxy for everything he hates about the Psychonauts #Raz barely even knows he exists. #Chloe and Bobby are still good buds! and maybe on-again off-again something more #but they're both too... (gestures vaguely) to really hold down a stable relationship as they are now #Chloe also never gets to meet Mirtala in this version of events #and she never gets to have that kind of uncomplicated deeply loving friendship with another kid her age #and among other things she's fundamentally much less well-adjusted because of it #but then isn't everyone in this au lol #villains au #SAM AND DOGEN is good also... i need to chew over that one more #much to think about #but i wanted to draw bobby today so here he is

[tsururoach]

The thing about Ryomina (mlm or mlf) is that I hesitate to say I "ship" it because I don't really consider them solely in the 'romantic' side of things.

Like, to me their whole deal is more on the conceptual scale of things. They exist on many planes, they can be romantic, they can be platonic, they can be the same person, but there is still emotions there regardless of what you do.

Death delivers all, death is all encompassing, death lived inside of them until one day, it leaves. Something that was in them for 10 years leaves him. It should've felt empty, like something wrong. And yet that thing, that concept, that person was no longer stagnant. It saw the world from you, and it grows. It becomes a person, it becomes human. (You also, learn to become human)

It starts off someone who knew only that single point of view, to someone who was able to change. Change themself- and change you- no longer restricted by that tie to you. And yet, the bond you have was strong enough that he was still led back to you.

I think the 'love' that would hypothetically exist between the two of them would be the 'love' someone could have for a concept. An Abstraction and mixed with simple human affection. The love of the life that lived next to the protag. The protag to me would love Ryoji, the way one would love life.

Funny how that is: Loving death like life.

V ADDING A DISCUSSION ON HAMUGIS AND RYOMINA SECTION HERE V

I consider Hamugis more generally romantic than Ryomina but thats also because they also have less fuckassery. But i still also do consider them in that nebulous relationship status area.

Don't get me wrong. I love love love hamugis. Actually let me add a sidetwt doodle here while I can.

Okay heres the thing about my preferences in Persona 3 ships. I'm actually okay with most of them tbh. Like generally I usually don't get other people's interpretations of certain ships, but i still on some level kind of like. Get it.

The only one is like. Junpei and anyone who isn't Chidori; or at the very least with anyone who redacts chidori entirely. I like jundori okay. I like Junpei. Junpei's #1 defender.

But I do on a level instinctively prefer the mlm ver of ryomina over mlf, and the flf ver of hamugis over mlm. (I do actually overall prefer aigis x protag over ryomina in general in the normal terms of 'ship' but we already talked about that)

Now I'm well aware technically I could make the protaganist's character whatever but we've come far enough that a lot of "insert" protagonists already have a general kind of personality okay. I do sometimes err away from canon portrayals, yeah but hey.

Anyways I feel like... Hamuko and Aigis form a stronger bond together. It's not just the difficulty of the love itself that changes things. It's the approach. Hamuko is generally portrayed as more headstrong and more outwardly optimistic, which, yeah.

I feel like... While Aigis benefits from someone reaching out to her, inversely, Ryoji benefits from reaching out to someone?

And then when Aigis is forced to reach out...

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is I feel like the bond overall has more meaning. Like I did say Aigis' relationship with the protagonist is also still in that conceptual air, I'm kind of rehashing what I said before. Aigis is coming to terms with her own humanity .

I lost the plot of this psot.

#ryomina #kind of #persona 3 #not my art #roach rambles #scuttles away #“What about aigis” i support aigis in every way conceivable. she could tell me the sky turns green and i'd pollute the environment. (JOKE) #However #the reason i kind of agree with the hamuko x aigis n ryoji x minato is because the general canon #like personality wise I feel like the natural development of those two are the most compelling #while I'm generally neutral to both versions of the ship #like aigis and minato is always wonderful and cute #and ryoji n hamuko is always silly and fun and still deeply tragic #i like the general interpretations i have of the protaganists and the impact that would have on those respective characters #actually fuck ryomina im adding hamgus to the post #*adds a read more again* #Hamugis

[hellsingmongrel]

So, bit of ramblings on my Post-Trimax Wolfwood headcanons.

Man, one of my favorite tropes in media is a character who's spirit lingers on after they've died, but it's usually something you only see in fanfic, so I cannot get over how FUCKING FERAL I was when I realized that it was legit a thing in Trimax, and that Wolfwood was the one we actually got to see, legitimately talking to the people he'd left behind and confirming that ghosts in the canon weren't just hallucinations or something! Like yeah, we saw Tessla leading the boys to her body, but since her ghost was never mentioned again, it could have easily have been written off as a fluke, right?

NOPE. They are real and they linger after to watch over the people they care about or to send messages to the people who are still alive! And the fact that the character who had just wormed his way into being just as beloved to me as my favorite character (Which NEVER happens, I usually only have enough brain cells for one at a time!) and that we had just had our hearts ripped to shreds watching him die was also the one we got to know had definitely stayed behind to watch over the people he loved just makes me SO HAPPY! I rp that asshole from time to time, and I just love exploring the implications of it!

I play him like he's been there a LONG TIME. When he died, Rem was there, watching over Vash, but when Knives spent the last of his energy, she chose to move on with him, now that she knew Wolfwood would be there to keep watch over Vash, and he took it SERIOUSLY. He's been waiting so long, he's lost his sense of time, he thinks it's only been a couple decades when it's been CENTURIES. And the time has softened his own trauma, he's gone from being surly and angry and defensive to being at peace and finding comfort in the fact that its allowed him to see more of Vash's life than he ever would have been able to live long enough to see when he was alive. And it's given him time to notice just how unwell Vash is, how broken he is, watching over him when he thinks he's alone and lets himself break down.

But it's also made Wolfwood a bit unwell in his own way; as time went on and the people he knew in life began to pass away, too, his interest in paying attention to what the people around them were doing wained, and his dedication to watching over Vash until it was his time to pass on became a strange sort of dependence. He loses his sense of self, in a way, until the most important thing in his existence is being there for Vash, waiting for him, having long-since accepted that when the time comes, it'll be over and he's alright with that.

He's happy, but to the perspective of a living person, it would seem TWISTED in a way. He still thinks he's a damned soul, stealing more time than he's allowed and only damning himself further by doing so, and he just knows that when he gets to walk Vash into whatever comes after for them, they'll be separated again, for the last time, and there won't be any coming back from it that time, because Vash is too good, too kind, too HOLY to ever be damned. But it's fine. Wolfwood knew he was damned long before his death, and time has just given him the chance to make peace with it and simply be happy with the fact that at least he'll be able to be with Vash when he can move on to wherever good people go at the end. And yet when it happens, Vash feels the same way about himself, so certain that he's the one who's damned, and their reunion is wonderful and painful and terrifying for both of them in different ways.

He's even worse with interacting with people, once he's forced to interact with the living. I play Wolfwood in a game where he stumbles into revealing himself after spending centuries never letting himself be seen, and he worries that going "silent" again will upset people. He's spent centuries being a silent shadow, certain that letting Vash know he was there would only cause more suffering for an already unwell mind, so he's forgotten how to interact with tact, blurting out whatever pops into his head because he's only had himself to talk to for all that time. He hurts people without meaning to, begins to suffer from the crisis of worrying that no matter what he does, he's a burden to the people who mourn him, he doesn't belong, his existence is nothing but a constant reminder of what's coming and will only cause the people around him pain. He's both able to be the kind, caring, loving person he might have been if the Eye of Michael had never taken him from the orphanage, and also a HUGE, ANXIOUS WRECK.

And the thing that makes it all worse for him is the fact that when he was dumped into the game I have him in, he was separated from the Vash of his timeline, and now lives in constant fear that he'll never see him again, that he won't be there when he passes on and there won't be anyone to greet him on the other side, alone and never knowing that he was waiting for him. He made a promise to Rem that he'd watch over him for her, that he'd lead him to his final destination where he could be with his family again, and now that he's lost that, what purpose does he have? He's terrified to let go himself, worried he'll pass onto the other side when Vash was right around the corner, but the thought of lingering without finding him again, missing his chance to be there for him when it's his turn, leaves him in an almost constant state of almost-panic.

I also just think it's kind of sweetly poetic, if in the end, he chose to continue the role he'd been forced into; take Vash where he's supposed to be. Only this time, it's his choice, and it won't be to his death. He wants to guide him to where he knows people are waiting for him, where he'll finally be happy and be at peace. He doesn't mind the fact that he's going to Hell, so long as he was able to be the one that leads Vash to the place where he won't have to be in pain ever again.

#Trigun #Trigun Maximum #Nicholas D. Wolfwood #Vash the Stampede #This probably is a bit insufferably angsty #I can't tell #I'm PMSing and having Vashwood feels and I'm making it eveyone else's problem! #But no really though I fuckin' LOVE ghosts in media! #Favorite trope 10/10 would rip my heart out again! #RP musings #Vashwood #Also yeah this may be completely out of character to other people but #S H R U G #This is just where my brain lead me when I started wondering what Wolfwood's ghost did after Trimax #Also I know it doesn't exactly fit canon but his Vash has started developing salt-and-pepper streaks in his black hair #and little age lines because he's like 500 YEARS OLD at that point or something #andI kind of love that mental image #Wolfwood still thinks he's the most beautiful thing on No Man's Land but he's VERY biased and has developed a bit of an unhealthy fixation

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway