#also i bought a tablet like two weeks ago

[wileys-russo]

Mary Earps, "will you marry me"..."we're already married", nightclub/party/some sort of night out

marry me II m.earps

you weren't able to go to the game because of work but you'd heard how well mary played, score checking as often as you could when your boss wasn't looking though you knew he really wouldn't mind all that much being a united supporter himself.

finally on your afternoon break you'd had a chance to call her, getting the full recap on everything including what sounded like a rocket of a goal from both maya and ella, united going up 4-0 in one of their best games of the season.

it killed you to have to cut your wife off mid story but with only a couple minutes left mary was more than understanding as you promised to meet her with the team once you finished, not thinking you'd make it in time for dinner but they had plans to go out afterwards to a karaoke bar.

"-and i promise not to sing a single abba song until you arrive beautiful!" mary promised and you could hear the grin in her voice as you softened, the two of you having met when a rather tipsy mary had mistaken you for a friend and tried to sweep you off your feet to have a dance to voulez vouz years ago.

now it was your unspoken song, always making sure to get it requested whenever you went out with friends, the two of you in your own little bubble as you'd giggle and swing one another around like the lovesick idiots you really were.

telling her you loved her and again how proud you were of yet another clean sheet under her belt you ended the call and hurried back to your desk where a large number of emails awaited you.

you were somewhat grateful for how busy your afternoon was given that it made the rest of your shift fly past, your timer going to clock out jolting you from your chair almost as you saved the doc you were working on and shut down your monitor.

collecting your things you said your goodbyes to your coworkers and headed out, wishing you'd bought a second jacket as you speed walked from the office to the tube, settling a little once you were inside and headed home.

it was the same story as you power walked from the station to the bus, and then from the bus stop to your flat you shared with your girlfriend. your new years resolution this year had been to use public transport to get to work at least twice a week.

given the business you worked for operated seven days a week and you only worked five including like today the occasional weekend it was going quite well so far, even if also like today it was that little bit harder with the weather.

by the time you let yourself inside it was nearing half past seven, and still needing a shower and some food you sent your wife a message indicating as much with a promise to keep her updated on your eta.

you melted at her reply text, following her instructions and going to the fridge where indeed she'd already cooked you dinner earlier this morning, the food just needing to be heated up.

not wanting to chance spilling food on anything you ate before you showered, putting on the highlights of the match and watching on proudly with a smile, cheering as though you didn't already know the outcome.

finishing up you rinsed and stacked your bowl and the tupperware in the dishwasher which was nearly full, tossing a tablet in and clicking it on as you thanked your wife for the meal and ducked into the shower.

by the time you showered and changed, finally looking presentable, it was nearing nine and mary had already informed around twenty minutes ago they were headed to the bar from the restaurant and she'd see you there.

ordering an uber you slipped on your shoes and grabbed a jacket, greeting the driver but otherwise remaining quiet, grateful that he picked up on that and just turned the radio on as you messaged mary you'd arrived.

thanking the uber you stepped out and joined the small line to enter the bar, grateful for the jacket around your shoulders as a sharp breeze whipped through the night air.

you frowned a little when mary hadn't texted back, but assuming she just hadn't heard her phone you'd barely stepped foot into the bar before a couple of bodies tumbled into you.

"ya made it!" you laughed as millie lifted you into the air in a tight hug and ella hugged your other side, the two having spotted you enter from the bar as they hustled you back over with them to grab a drink.

you greeted a few more of the girls and their partners as you waited, looking around for your wife but unable to spot her. "you might want to prepare yourself babe." maya warned patting your shoulder and handing you your drink as you gave her a curious look.

"dumb and dumber here have been feeding mary shots so she's...a little bit tipsy." maya smiled apologetically as you chuckled, knowing from her tone that was clearly an understatement as you followed her back to the booths where most of the team was hanging around.

"hello beautiful!" you heard her before you saw her, the taller girl crashing into you as maya hurried to grab your drink from your hand or else you'd have wound up wearing it as your wife practically tackled you down onto the lounge.

"mary! watch out ya idiot." katie laughed with a shake of her head. "hi baby, having fun?" you smiled, taking your drink back off maya and settling it down on the table as mary sat up and nodded, arm draped securely over your shoulders.

"so much fun!" she giggled and you grinned at the bright red flush across her cheeks you knew only appeared when she'd had far too much to drink. "mm i can see that, whats this i hear about shots?" you teased sipping at your own drink.

"mary!" you groaned as you barely had a mouthful before the goalkeeper had taken it from your hand and downed it, her only response being to grab your face and smash her lips to yours causing your neck to warm and wolf whistles to ring out around you.

"okay okay! down girl." you laughed pushing at her chest as she again chased your lips with a grin. "no i missed ya, c'mere." she tugged at your dress as you shook your head. "you owe me a drink earps." you warned booping her nose with a grin.

"mary watch out!" you laughed again as she practically leapt over you and made a beeline for the bar, dragging millie along with her. "no more shots for her turner i mean it!" you yelled after them as millie only winked and you sighed.

turns out, there was more shots.

a couple of hours had passed since you'd arrived and having sung three times now both with your wife or friends you were ready to call it a night, mary barely able to hold her head up.

"i'm gonna get us an uber. can you help me get her up?" you chuckled to leah and millie, millie who had sobered up scarily fast considering you'd watched her do shot after shot with your wife who was near passed out on your shoulder.

"maz, baby. come on up we get, we're gonna head home!" you shook her lightly as her eyes fluttered open and she mumbled something incomprehensible and slumped back down. nodding to millie and leah once the uber was booked the girls helped mary up who thankfully could mostly walk herself once she was.

"for earps? thank you." you checked with the uber, leah shoving mary in the back as you sat down beside her and buckled her in, thanking both girls and waving them off as they made their way back inside.

"are we on the tube?" mary lifted her head squinting her eyes with a slur making you chuckle. "no you muppet, we're in an uber." you rubbed her knee as she hummed and collapsed into you with a grunt.

thankfully the bar wasn't too far from your flat as the uber pulled up outside and you gently pushed mary to sit up, exiting the car and quickly making your way to her door.

opening it you grunted as the girl near fell out, the sudden drop at least waking her up enough to allow you to pull her out of the car, closing the door and stumbling your way up the driveway.

"come on babe, work with me here!" you groaned as she leaned her much taller body into you with a moan and a mumble of something that wasn't english, your fingers freezing and struggling with the key in the door as you finally popped it open.

"down we go!" you dropped your wife onto the sofa as she giggled and blinked a few times, sighing as you hurried to the bedroom to change.

grabbing clothes for mary you joined her again in the living room rolling your eyes as she was now properly passed out, mouth hanging open and all.

"maz, maz baby." you crouched down beside her and poked at her as she groaned and swatted you away. "come on, we need to get you changed you idiot!" you laughed, shaking her a bit harder now as she awoke and you helped her groggily sit up.

"oh hello darling." mary slurred, grabbing your hands and tugging you down to sit on her lap. "when did you get here? i missed ya." she mumbled making you laugh and shake your head, well prepared to tease her relentlessly for this tomorrow.

you helped her get dressed, ignoring the comments about buying her dinner first and her little teenage giggles as with absolutely no assistance from your wife you managed to get her changed.

"you're so so beautiful." mary smiled lazily pulling you down onto her lap again making you sigh but crack a smile. "will you marry me? i think you should marry me." the goalkeeper grinned with hooded eyes making you laugh.

"we're already married my love." you grabbed her hand and held up your own, the taller girl squinting at the rings which sat on them. "oh lovely! tick that off the list then." she ticked mid air as you rolled your eyes.

"come on you big dope, time to go to bed with your wife."

#woso community #woso x reader #woso #mary earps x reader #mary earps #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso blurbs

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 21

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Sickness be gone!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Dr. Kemp gave me this journal. I met him today. He’s a therapist. Or a psychologist? He’s a doctor and he’s going to help me.

I hope.

He told me to put my moods in here, to write about how I feel, and to set a small goal every day. 

How I feel today: scared.

This morning was scary. We went to the doctor’s office and I didn’t know where we were going. I met Dr. Kemp and was less scared. Then we went to the mall and that was scary too. I tried on a short dress and that was scarier. Now we’re back at the house and I’m still afraid.

What if this doesn’t work either? What if I’m stuck this way forever? What if Dr. Kemp can’t help me?

A knock comes at the door and you tuck your new pen into the journal, closing it as you set it on top of your tablet. You put both on the nightstand as you call for Andy to enter. He inches open the door and pokes his head around.

“Hey,” he says, “I was just thinking, it’s been a long day. We can order in for the night?”

You shrug. You’re not very hungry. The large breakfast keeps your appetite at bay. Your anxiety helps as well.

“Um, that’s okay. I’m not very hungry.”

He sighs, his hand on the door. His fingers tap on the wood as he grips his hip, “you really shouldn’t skip meals. It’s not good for you.”

“I ate a lot this morning–”

“That was hours ago. You need to eat,” he insists, “I missed a week of work, honey, I can’t miss any more. I need you to start trying. Didn’t Dr. Kemp talk to you about this?”

You wince. He’s upset. You didn’t mean to make him angry. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, “I’ll, uh… take out sounds good.”

He lets the door fall all the way open. He crosses to the foot of the bed and touches the top of one of the shopping bags. You chew your cheek as you watch him.

“Are you gonna put all this away?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’ll do that now,” you get up.

He bought all those clothes, he took you to the doctor, on top of everything else. The least you can do is choke down a meal he’s also paying for. You go to the closet and open it up. You have two sweaters and a pair of jeans hung there. The rest of the hangers are empty.

“Chicken or beef?” He asks as he backs up.

“Hmm?” You look back at him with a handful of hangers.

“For dinner?”

“Oh, chicken,” you answer as you come back to the bed, “I’ll come down after I finish with all this.”

“Sure… uh, I could help,” he offers.

“No, I can do it,” you say, “that’ll be my small task today. Put this away and tidy up the room.”

He nods, both hands on his hips, “sounds like a good plan.”

You try to smile but your cheeks only twitch. You focus on taking out the clothes from the bag and looping them over the plastic hangers. He lingers and slowly slides out his phone. He turns on his heel and leaves you, thumbing at the screen with a hum.

You’re tired of letting everyone down. Amber, Andy, yourself. You’re not going to let Dr. Kemp down. You’re really going to try. You look over at the journal and take a deep breath. 

They’re just pages, but you finally have someone to talk to. Someone you can tell everything. The paper can’t answer you but it can listen without judgment. And in the end, you can always crumple it all up and forget the words.

You get everything hung, folded, and some put aside for the wash. There’s a weight of dread in your feet. You don’t want to go downstairs, you’d rather stay up here and lay down. It’s been a long day and you’re exhausted.

You find Andy in the living room. You bring your tablet to quell your restless hands. You sit on the far end of the couch as he watches a ball game. You peel back the cover and take out the pen. 

“Not a baseball fan?” He asks.

You pop your head up and look over at him. You shrug. You look at the screen as the umpire calls a strike.

“Don’t watch sports,” you answer.

“Ah, didn’t want to assume,” he leans forward, elbows on his arms as he presses his hands together, “we can watch something you like. I can catch the highlights tomorrow.”

“No, it’s okay,” you swipe the nib across the screen, “I like listening to this.”

You tuck your legs up and hunch over the tablet. You sense him watching you before he slowly leans back against the couch. You draw without thinking, a twisted elm tree with crows in the branches.

The commentators offer a steady soundtrack for your work. The crowd jeers then roars, swaying with the momentum of the game. You pick the perfect shadow of brow to add streaks to the trunk of the tree. You feel the couch shift but don’t look up. It isn’t until Andy’s right beside you that you tear your attention from your work.

He’s close. Very close. You sweat as heat radiates off of him. He stretches his arm behind you as he leans in to look at your drawing.

“Just a sketch,” you lower the pen.

“Pretty,” he says, “I’m not very artsy. Writing’s chicken scratch.”

You nod, “art is art. As long as you’re creating.”

“Pretty good way of looking at it,” he leans in closer, placing his hand on the corner of the tablet, “do you ever draw people?”

“Sometimes,” you answer, wilting at his proximity. He seems even bigger as he crowds you. You look up at the TV and drag the cover over the tablet, “why are they cheering?”

He lifts his head and exhales heavily. He retracts his arm from behind you and points with his other hand.

“Hitter just got a double and another player got home,” he says, “tied it up. If they can get another run, they’ll win. If not… well, another inning.”

“Oh,” you blink. You really don’t know much about baseball.

“We could go to a game, maybe, if you’re interested,” he offers, “they have great pretzels.”

“Maybe,” you keep your eyes on the TV, even as his head turns and he narrows in on you.

The heat between you becomes stolid. You have no space to turn over and you’re too afraid to stand up and go. You don’t want to upset him. He probably doesn’t realise how close he is. Plus, your personal bubble tends to be bigger than most.

The doorbell rings, breaking the tension, and drops his head as he grips his thighs. He stands with effort and you put aside your tablet. You listen as he answers the door and the crinkle of a paper bag underlines his exchange with the delivery driver.

He shuts the door and the smell of the take-out wafts in, stoking your hunger. You get up and meet him at the doorway, following him to the dining room. As he puts the bag down on the table, you wring your hands.

“Should I get plates?”

“Sure, sweetie,” he says as he rips past the staple in the fold of the bag, “that’d be great.”

🕊️

You can’t help but be relieved when Andy goes back to work. The house is still cold and lonely to you, but you’re happy to be alone. You set yourself a goal for each day; in the very least, you’ll make dinner, and when you feel up to it, you’ll do one other thing.

Monday, you spend most of the day painting. You make a decent amount of progress by the time Andy returns. You reheat leftovers for the night and make sure to tidy the kitchen.

Tuesday, you do the laundry. It feels like a great accomplishment as you sit and fold everything before Andy gets back. You leave his clothes on his bed. He’s pleased by your efforts and you are too.

Wednesday, you paint some more and vacuum the first floor. Thursday, you clean the bathroom, and Friday sees you so exhausted that you only do a quick sweep before starting supper. Each day, you record in your journal. Not just your tasks but your feelings; the pendulum between helpless and sad and proud swings back and forth throughout the week.

Saturday comes and you stay in bed late. You’re tempted to stay there and sleep all day until a knock sounds from the other side. You knew he wouldn’t let you.

“Dove,” he calls through, “you have an appointment at noon.”

“What?” you sit up and rush across the room. You crack the door open and peek out, “I didn’t know…”

“I mentioned it, didn’t I?” He asks.

He may have. Sometimes you forget things. You fight a frown and dip your chin.

“I’ll get ready, I’m sorry.”

“No problem. I’ll have breakfast waiting,” he looks through at you, his eyes searching, trying to see through the gloom. “Why don’t you wear some of your new clothes?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” you murmur, “thanks.”

You shut the door and watch the shadow underneath. He doesn’t go right away but when he does, you flip on the lights. You go to the closet and ponder the selection. It’s a bit overwhelming. The skirts and dresses. 

You take out a pleated plaid skirt and a pumpkin coloured turtleneck. Andy didn’t particularly like it but he let you grab it anyway. You put it on with a pair of ribbed black tights. At least you’re covered up, even if it’s all a bit snug.

You go into the bathroom and get freshened up; brush your teeth, wash your face, put some moisturizer on. You’d started using more of the bottles piled into the basket. You feel bad just letting them go to waste.

You go downstairs, the smell of toast greeting you as you enter the kitchen. Andy looks over his shoulders and still the knife as he butters a slice. He turns to you fully and grins, “wow, you look… nice.”

“Oh, thanks, I…” you pull at the fabric across your stomach, “maybe I need a bigger size.”

“No, no, really,” he finishes scraping the butter across the hard bread, “you look really nice.” He grabs a plate and brings it to you as you stand by the island, “those tights look warm.”

“Um, yeah,” you look down, twisting one leg behind the other, “not really.”

He nods and clicks his tongue, “anyway, breakfast,” he hands you the plate, “enjoy.”

“Thanks,” you say as you take it, “er… are we going to see Dr. Kemp?”

“Uh huh,” he goes back to the counter and takes out another slice from the toaster, “you… you like him?”

“Sure,” you cradle the plate, slowly drifting to the door, “he’s nice.”

“Well, you know, you can always let me know if you don’t.”

“What?”

“Just… if he makes you uncomfortable or anything,” he shrugs, “you know I’m always here for you, dove.”

You don’t say anything else. You go into the dining room and set down your plate. You’re almost excited to go see Dr. Kemp. Strangely so. You can’t wait to tell him everything you did this week and talk about your new pens for your journal. It feels like you’ve actually made progress, for once in your life.

🕊️

You sit in the same chair as last time. Dr. Kemp stands by the window. His cool demeanour is a counterweight to your tense anxiety. You chew your fingertips as he turns and pace towards the wall. He stops and flicks on the electric kettle set on the polished console table.

“You like tea?” He asks.

“Um, yeah,” you clutch your hand into a fist and lay it on the armrest.

“Green? Black? I have Earl Gray,” he offers.

“Green is fine,” you wiggle your foot, the action drawing his gaze. His piercing blue eyes crawl up your legs and he considers you with calm calculation.

“New clothes?” He prompts.

“Y-yes,” you open your hand as you bend your arm, rubbing your neck.

“Hmm, cute. I liked that sweater you wore last time.”

“Oh, it was old,” you scratch along your hairline.

“It’s whatever you're comfortable in,” he says, “skirt’s nice but… I don’t know. Not quite you.”

You don’t comment. He’s not wrong. It’s too short and the pattern is cute but you find the fabric stiff. You bring your hand forward and tap your chin.

“So, did you have a good week?” He asks.

“I think… I did a lot. Exactly what you said,” you push your shoulders up, clasping your hands in your lap. He watches you intensely, not looking away as he listens. “I used the journal and uh, I made myself set goals. Erm, oh, I made dinner every night and I cleaned–”

“That’s great,” he turns and takes two mugs from the stacked tower of porcelain. He drops in the tea bags before he backs up. He crosses his arms, pacing around as he rubs his chin, “but what about things for you? Not cleaning or cooking. Those are chores. You should be doing things just for you.”

He leans on the side of the sofa. You squeeze your hands tight and teeter on the edge of the chair. Your chest sinks.

“Well, I… I guess I didn’t… I thought…”

“It’s okay, there’s no wrong answer here. But this week, I want you to focus on you. Do things for you. Treat yourself kindly,” he drops his arms and hooks his thumbs in the tops of his pockets, “you could do a face mask, have a bubble bath, or even just read a book you enjoy.”

“Oh, okay.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being nice to yourself. Self-love is important. If you don’t find worth in yourself, other people won’t either.”

“I’ll try,” you agree.

“That’s all you need to do,” he smiles as the kettle clicks off and he pivots on his heel. He pours the steaming water in the mugs and continues, “today, I think we should talk about your sister.”

“What?” You gulp.

“You mentioned her before. She seems to be a big part of your life,” he sets the kettle down, “I’d like to know more about her.”

You tuck your lip in and frown. You don’t know if you can talk about Amber. You’re still so confused about her. But what is all this for. To understand how you feel. And like he says, it’s all confidential.

“Amber… her name is Amber,” you eke out, “er…I don’t know where to start…”

“Take your time,” he coaxes, “we can take it slow.”

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #au #library au #don't speak #defending jacob

[petite-madame]

I look at your art and i cannot even comprehend how you do it. Do you use procreate? what brushes do you use? I’m deeply in love with your work

Hi anon

Thank you so much for your message and for taking the time to contact me. 💗 Sorry about the late reply, I was quite busy in the past two weeks. 😳

Ok! So, to answer your question, I very rarely use Procreate. I used it a bit when I installed it on my iPad one-two years ago: it was exciting and new but I must admit that now, I work mainly on Photoshop. Don't get me wrong, Procreate is an amazing app, you can create tons of effects but I'm much more confortable with Photoshop. However, this artwork and this one were created using mainly Procreate.

More recently (= about 10 days ago 🤓), I bought an app called Rebelle 6 that emulates oil painting and watercolors. I used it on this Sherlock portrait but also on this one on Twitter. If you see this kind of textures in my art from now on, it's thanks to this app.

These were the exceptions, though. As far as the rest is concerned, I use Photoshop CS6 with an Xp-pen tablet. I tried all kind of brushes but the ones I always come back to give my artworks an "old painting" effect are the Mar-ka brushes and the Deharme brushes. (look at this artist's DA page, you have several sets of brushes available). However, sometimes, I change the settings: I add more texture, change the spacing, the brush dynamic, etc…(everything can be found in the PS brush settings). You have to see what works best for you.

On some artworks, I also add a paper texture a bit like the one below, at a low opacity (layer: soft light). Make sure it's a bit grainy and don't hesitate to adjust it using the "brightness/contrast" or "levels" tools.

However, the opacity and the paper vary according to the artwork. What can work for one artwork is not going to work for another one because of the lighting, the exposure, the effects you want to give. You'll have to try different textures and opacities to reach the effect you want.

The rest is…my style. 🤓 I did a post HERE about how I draw realistic portraits and HERE about a step by step (it was several years ago though so I don't talk about textures, just how I block colors and how I draw realistically).

I hope I managed to answer your question. Thank you for enjoying my work so much and see you at the end of the week with a Stede Bonnet portrait (and then, I'll go on a break to rest a bit ^^)

#pmasks #arttechnique

[alexandra3719]

Ultimate Comfort Kit Guide <3

As an ADHD girlie who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, I want to share with you some great items that are part of my comfort kit because, neurodivergent fellows or not, staying home or traveling, I want to give you some tips to build your own:

Noise cancelling headphones: to be specific, mine have a wire because I'm not a big fan of wireless headphones because I'd always forget to charge them, so I got a pair of noise cancelling headphones with two wires and its little bag to carry it everywhere on Amazon.

Favourite stuffed toy: mine is a banana minion because my dead cousin loved minions and I feel her close when I hold it by my side.

Water bottle: since I drink a lot of water, I bought this 1lt metal water bottle. It's a bit hard to carry it around, but at least I'm sure I have enough water for a long time and I won't have to refill it immediatamently (I tried another water bottle my uncle got for me, but I had to refill it every five minutes). You can also bring a bottle of your favourite drink, along with the water.

Pillow: I have a favourite pillow. It's a Harry Potter pillow I got when I went to Primark for the first time in Italy and it's the best pillow ever. It's so soft , such high quality material and it's so comfortable. I love it and it's part of my comfort kit.

Blankets: along with my pillow, I always carry this Nightmare Before Christmas blanket my parents got me a long time ago.

Medicines/supplements organizer: let's make this clear.. it's a must have because this item changed my life. I sometimes forget to carry my medicines when I travel or leave home to go somewhere and this is good because you can take it on your flights in case you travel often and you can take a single box for each day of the week to carry it with you like if you need to take some medicines right after dinner and you're at the restaurant.

Lavender spray mist: I spray it all over my bed before to go to sleep or when I feel very anxious or stressed. It's easy to carry everywhere and suitable for blankets and bedsheets.

Salt lamp: I have one at home, but I'm planning to buy a smaller one that powers with batteries to carry in my backpack during trips.

More things I suggest are: box of tissues; phone/tablet/ipad/laptop + chargers; Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer with case to hang to your bag/backpack; sunflower badge to wear around your neck if you own one; fidgeting toys or activities like coloring books with crayons; your favourite books or comics to read; anti nausea wristbands; vicks vaporub jar or vapopads; essential oil diffuser with your favourite oils; whatever you may need or whatever makes you comfortable (they don't call it 'comfort kit' for nothing) <3

Let me know in the comments or my ask box what you guys think of this guide, what's in your own comfort kits or if you have any items to suggest.

Tags for visibility: @judgementdaysunshine @romanthereigns @domripley @livslunaticdamiansdisciple18 @whois-jess

#comfort kit #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #ocd #depression #anxiety #panic attacks

[ziggyevenstar]

bumped into a friend in a coffee shop. she’s got a table full of law stuff— book, papers, laptop and tablet. she said she’s been there since 11am. it’s now 5:54pm and she just left. she said she started going to ateneo law two weeks ago. she told me things like how she’s anxious to go through all of it, or how she’s been so lucky because she’s yet to experience her first recit. i told her my experiences and some were so bad. in retrospect, they’re all so funny now— so we laughed—something i never thought i would do when looking back on those experiences. but because i had to be encouraging, i mostly said good things about law school. and somewhere between “kumusta?” and “noong ako…”, i found myself thinking law school was a great experience. there are so many things i wish i could redo??? so many days i wish i viewed through different lenses??? although i would never wish to go back to law school and experience all of it again (recits, exams, reading lists that never seem to end), i also wish i never treated that part of my life as something i couldn’t wait to get out of. because it could be beautiful din pala but i never allowed it to be more than just a place for stress and trauma, and it took me graduating to realize that. i just wish i romanticized it more??? like when i went almost everyday to coffee shops to study, the barista in this one coffee place knowing my order, inuman sessions after bad recits, or buying small stuff like sticky notes, pencil cases or pens. idk. i wish i dressed up more??? maybe i could’ve bought a school sweatshirt??? hahaha idk. maybe it’s also because i’m not there anymore, stressing about the readings so i think like this now??? maybe it’s because of all these tiktok videos of law students i’m seeing. i don’t know. i just saw my friend, she’s got all these years ahead of her in law school and i just found myself so SO excited for her. 💓 i guess i should romanticize “now” more than i do. like what the fuck am i doing just letting good things pass without enjoying them? i don’t want “now” to be another thing i look back on and think it’s actually more beautiful than i thought. appreciate things more, love things more 💓

[dweetwise]

[Riconti] The Long Con (part 6/6)

A fluffy little epilogue to wrap things up 🧡 Rated G | 1.5k words | ao3 link [previous]

Two years later…

“Where is it!?” Meg’s voice echoed from upstairs.

“Weiß ich nicht!” Klara’s higher pitch answered.

“Weißt es! You always borrow it for the tablet!”

“The tablet broke two weeks ago!"

“Ugh, fine. C’mon,” Meg said, and the sound of two pairs of footsteps running down the stairs followed. “Dad!” Meg called.

Ace hid a smile behind the newspaper he was reading in the kitchen. What had started as a sarcastic nickname from Meg’s side seemed to become less of a joke with each day that passed.

"What is it?" he called back.

“I can't find my Scheiß-charger!” Meg complained.

Ace glanced at Felix sipping his (gross, black) coffee across the breakfast table. But Felix's lips merely twitched up in amusement, once again making Ace grateful that he wasn't too strict when it came to the language used around his kid.

“Have you been teaching my innocent daughter naughty words?” Ace asked.

“No,” Felix said, then smirked. “If I did, I promise she'd swear much more creatively.”

“Dad!” Meg said as she stormed into the kitchen, a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Take my power bank,” Ace said. “It's by the coffee machine.”

“Thanks,” Meg said. She also yoinked an apple from the fruit bowl.

“No breakfast?” Felix asked.

“I'll grab something from the cafeteria before class,” Meg said. “It's better than this old coot's cooking.”

“Hey!” Ace protested. Sure, making food from scratch in an actual kitchen was still new for him, but he'd only burned that last omelet a little—

“Fair enough,” Felix instantly agreed with Meg.

Ace gasped. “Et tu, brute?”

“Meg!” Klara ran into the kitchen. “You forgot your keys!” she said, holding up the item.

Meg grinned. “Thanks. Walk me out?”

“Mm-hm!” Klara nodded and the duo headed outside.

“We should see her off too,” Felix said, standing up from the table. “It's her first exam.”

Ace chuckled to himself before following. Felix was very into all the firsts of their kids: Meg's first driving lesson, Klara's first soccer practice, their first time visiting the science museum together…

And now Meg's very first exam at her new university.

Ace tightened his morning robe before stepping out onto their front yard. Meg and Klara were talking in the driveway and Felix already had his phone pulled out for a photo.

"Even if you don't know the answer, try to guess!” Klara said, apparently having taken it upon herself to tutor Meg.

“Yeah, I hope my teacher gives me a gold star on my first test too,” Meg said, then smirked. “But I still think you cheated!”

She poked Klara in the ribs and the girl laughed, protesting, “Hab ich nicht!”

Click.

“Oh, for the love of…” Meg glared up at Felix, who stood proudly with his phone pointed at them. “This better not be going in the photo album.”

“But you're so cuuute with your little backpack!” Ace cooed obnoxiously.

Meg's hand twitched before she grit her teeth and clenched it into a fist, showing considerable willpower in not flipping Ace off.

“Whatever. Bye, losers,” Meg said, walking to her car.

Klara waved. “Bye, Meg!”

“Drive safely,” Felix added.

“Good luck, Firecracker,” Ace said.

“Like I need the luck,” Meg scoffed and shut the door.

She sped out of the driveway in the car that Felix and Ace had bought for her together. Five cars might be a little overkill for a household of four, but Meg deserved her independence, and Felix's ridiculous sports cars weren't exactly the most suitable for a new driver.

Ace was just glad that Meg was still sticking around. Rather than relocate closer to her campus, Meg had claimed she liked the luxury of the Richter manor too much to move out. And she wasn't wrong: their new home was definitely an improvement over the ratty apartment her and Ace had shared for their first year and a half in Germany.

Feeling a little sentimental, Ace sighed and leaned his head on Felix's shoulder. "Ah, they grow up so fast," he said, only half joking.

"At least you didn't cry this time," Felix said.

"Oh, bite me," Ace shot back.

Felix smirked. "Maybe later."

“Papa!” Klara came up and tugged on Felix's sleeve. “Can we feed the fish?” she asked in German.

Felix glanced at his watch and frowned. “Papa has to go to work. Unless Ace wants to feed the fish before taking you to school?”

Two identical pairs of blue puppy eyes looked at Ace and, really, how was he supposed to say no?

Ace grinned. “Tell you what, princess, why don't you go get the fish food and I'll meet you by the pond? But don't take too much, Leonardo is getting fat!”

Klara nodded and smiled bright before scurrying back inside.

“So, alone at last, huh?” Ace joked, turning to face Felix. “How about a—”

Felix was apparently way ahead of him, immediately stepping right into Ace’s personal space and leaning in for a smooch before Ace even said the words ‘goodbye kiss.’

Ace hummed in surprise but quickly melted into the kiss, relishing in familiar feeling of Felix’s soft lips against his.

“Well, I certainly hope you have a good day, too,” Ace purred when they pulled apart.

Surprisingly, Felix didn't snark back like usual. He simply rested his chin on top of Ace's head and breathed a deep and happy sigh.

“Thank you,” Felix murmured. “Thank you for being here. For being you.”

“Hey hey hey, no sappiness allowed this early in the morning,” Ace teased even as he eagerly leaned into the embrace. “Besides, I'm the one who should be thanking you for taking in two strays.”

"One of the best decisions I have ever made." 

"Really?" Ace prodded. "Even after I stole that stupid gold egg from the mayor's party and you had to awkwardly return it?"

"Yes. And especially after an unknown red-haired vandal keyed my idiot aunt's car after she claimed you'd be a lousy stepfather for Klara." Felix chuckled and Ace smiled too.

But even while they could joke about it now, it hadn't been an easy two years for any of them. Half of Felix's relatives had cut contact as soon as they found out he was dating a man, and he'd also had to drastically adjust his work-life balance before his ex even considered letting him have Klara every other week.

Meanwhile, Meg kept getting in trouble for the shoplifting habit she couldn't quite seem to shake and Ace had almost gotten them evicted by repeatedly gambling away rent money. And even after Felix invited them to move in, both Ace and Meg kept waiting for the other shoe to drop: courtesy of half a decade of being on the run.

To this day, Ace still kept a panic bag in his closet with his and Meg's essentials ready to go. But he was trying; they all were, and that was what mattered.

Hit with a sudden burst of affection, Ace hugged Felix tighter. "Love you," he croaked out.

It was ridiculous how nervous he still felt saying those words and actually meaning them. But every time, it got a little easier.

“And I love you,” Felix said earnestly. He kissed Ace's temple that had even more gray now than two years ago. “And I love our family. Flaws and all.”

“Yeah,” Ace said thickly, his heart stuttering over the word family. “Me too.”

Fortunately—before Ace had the chance to embarrass himself further by actually tearing up like Felix joked—he heard the side door of the manor open and close.

"Speaking of family…” Ace said, reluctantly pulling away. “It sounds like I've got some fish to feed."

Felix sighed. "And I should go before I'm late to work.”

"Eh, you can always blame the terrible traffic on your private road,” Ace joked. “But say hi to Lauren for me, would you? Oh, and are you picking up Klara today?”

“Yes, I'll try to,'' Felix said, grabbing his briefcase from just inside the front door. “I have a meeting in the afternoon, but I'll call you if it looks like it'll run late.”

“Gotcha. Have a good day.”

“You too.” Felix walked towards his car, then stopped and turned around with a knowing stare. “And do not let Klara overfeed Leonardo again.”

Ace laughed. “I’ll do my best.”

Felix drove off, and just a few seconds later, Klara’s head popped around the corner of the house.

“Ace?” she said, a sheepish smile on her face. “I dropped the whole food bucket in the water…”

Instantly, Ace was sprinting to the garden.

“Goddamnit, if that fat fuck of a carp eats it all again…!”

The morning ended with Ace diving into the koi pond in his pajamas and resulted in a giggling Klara being late for school.

But in the evening, Klara was showing off a drawing she’d made in class of Ace wrestling a gigantic carp—making Meg howl laugh and even Felix snicker in between trying to nag about the pond’s delicate pH balance—so Ace would count it as a success.

Their strange little mismatched family might not be perfect, but Ace wouldn't trade it for the world.

#riconti #ace visconti #felix richter #dbd fanfic #dweetwrites #meg thomas #dbd #dead by daylight

[hellohanbin]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💊ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Basically, it's me complaining about quetiapine side effects

TW: Psychiatric medication, antipsychotic, side effects (personal), bpd, and bipolar 2 symptoms.

So, I've been taking quetiapine with other meds like fluoxetine and divalproex sodium since last year to treat my bpd and bipolar 2, mainly to help my difficulty with falling asleep, staying asleep, depression, paranoia, violent thoughts/urges, and sh addiction since taking olanzapine and aripiprazole didn't do shit to me.

The side effects of quetiapine that I've been taking for almost 10 months aren't actually... bad, at least for me: weight gain and sleepiness. I mean, I used to be sleep-deprived because of this chemical imbalance in my brain so to be able to sleep soundly since taking this medicine is such a bliss. I had my beauty sleep without having nightmares or randomly waking up in the middle of the night and planning a new business that I felt confident and believed would work out, or having the urge to go stroll outside barefoot, dancing and singing and clapping and ugh.. can't believe I had kind of thoughts at that time...

But anyway!

The bliss that I felt from taking quetiapine only lasted till the end of the year.

In January 2024, I had plans to apply for jobs. Like, eagerly want to have a job that I enjoy doing with a decent salary so I could buy a new phone and throw this one out cause shit is too old! It's a 2016 model and my mom bought it for me in 2017 as a reward for passing the college entrance exams. Oh! Also, I want to buy a display tablet so bad for drawing digitally! ><

I realized my current weight was a red flag when I couldn't sit for more than an hour and a half without feeling pain in my back and my tailbone. My spine is apparently not as strong as it used to be because I gained weight from 55 to 67kg and I'm only 158cm y'all that's definitely not healthy at all! I blame it on quetiapine and uh my not-so-healthy lifestyle 🧍‍♂️.

I blame it on quetiapine because never in my life have I gained weight more than 60kg no matter how much meals and sugar I consume in a day. But since quetiapine came to my life to uh save my life, I gained more than 60kg! It's 67kg now waaaaaah!! I can't even move freely anymore. I'm panting just from taking a shower (I use a shower dipper), it's ridiculous! ;;-;;

Other than weight gain, I also have problems with sleepiness during the day. 8 hours of sleep is not enough for me I have to have like at least 10-12 hours! When can I have time to do something productive when I sleep a lot like that. It's even difficult to concentrate and stay focused because of this sleepiness! Coffee might actually help but my stomach can't handle it because I have severe GERD!! Just two weeks ago my mom had to bring me to the ER because my stomach was acting up again I thought I was going to die that day (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

/Sobs/

So um in my next appointment with my psychiatrist, I'm planning to ask her if it's okay for me to take quetiapine for 100mg (currently I'm taking 200mg/day) and gradually continue to reduce the dose until it is okay for me not to take the meds anymore.

#bipolar disorder #borderline personality disorder #mental health #bipolar 2 #mental illness #actually bipolar #anxiety disorder #quetiapine

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 19 “Quick Session” [Episode List]

Dave comes back from work and he’s late for a date with Dana. To make things worse, he can’t find a gift he bought for her anywhere. Tim helps… and Dave decides to thank him with a quick treat (or… threat?).

Want to feel like Tim? Click on the links in the story to hear the power of Dave's farts!

POV: Tim

Quick Session

I was doing some chores in the living room (I finished working earlier) when I heard Dave hastily open the front door and step inside the house. 

“Honey, I’m home.” he said, speed-walking through the room and heading directly upstairs.

“*sigh* We don’t talk like we used to.” I replied, faking a sad tone of voice.

Dave had a busy day at work and in fact he got home a bit later than usual. He has a date with Dana tonight so he’s in a rush. I soon heard noises coming from the bathroom upstairs, a sign that he was speed running through his pre-date preparations. Did he at least take his clothes off before stepping into the shower? The guy was going fast.

I was instead having a pretty normal day. I finished working early as I said, so I started doing some chores around the house, then I’ll get a pizza and fire up some Entflix for the night. Yep, don’t be too envious, dear reader, but that’s what living like a King feels like.

I made myself comfortable on our trusted couch and reached for my tablet, ready to enjoy the free time I earned today, but before I could aimlessly browse Entflix’s catalog, I heard Dave coming downstairs. He looked like he was panicking for some reason.

“Dude you ok?” I asked.

“I’m freaking out man.” he said. “I have to be at Dana’s place in like 30 minutes…”

Dana has been Dave’s girlfriend for years at this point, so clearly he wasn’t nervous about just seeing her. We still call them “dates” but when you’re this far in a relationship you’re just a couple hanging out.

“And?” I asked again, trying to understand why he was being so nervous.

“And I can’t find it, Tim!”

“What? Your dick?” I very maturely joked.

“The necklace, you dickhead!” Dave replied.

“I don’t think it’d look good on you to be honest.” 

“Can you be serious for one second?”

When Dave, of all people, tells me to be serious, maybe it’s time to listen.

“I bought a gift for Dana, it’s nothing, it’s not even her birthday, but it’s a necklace she talked about some months ago and so I finally got one.” Dave explained.

“Aw… you’re adorable.” I guess I really want my bro to punch me today.

He scoffed and just started rummaging through the room. “We have to find it.”

“Wait.” it’s actually not the first time he talked about this. “Isn’t it the same necklace that-“

“YES.” he cut me off. “It’s the one YOU reminded me to look for ‘cause I already couldn’t find it two weeks ago.” his was clearly annoyed. “So if you go ‘I told you so’ I’m gonna punch you.”

Here we are, readers. It’s gonna happen. “So violent.” I joked.

“You leave me no choice! I’d threaten you with my farts but it’s not even a threat in your case.” he joked back, finally a glimpse of a smile drawn on his face, a smirk of someone who knows he just landed a low blow.

“Let’s…” I said, trying not to stutter like an idiot. “Let’s just find the thing.”

Dave joking around my kink somehow pulled me back into the real world ‘cause I was just now noticing that my friend was wearing a pair of jeans and white sneakers, and quite tight white shirt. It’s not like Dave was super muscular or anything, but he did have a nice body figure, and the shirt helped. Average yet good-looking, which my eyes appreciated.

We (well… I) then fully focused on looking for this necklace. We split up and as quickly as possible searched the whole house (it wasn’t as big as it looks, fortunately). The more minutes passed, the more Dave seemed to get nervous. He also got a message on his phone, which didn’t help (hopefully not work-related). He wasn’t angry or anything but he wasn’t in a good mood that’s for sure, almost like he didn’t want to disappoint Dana -this is more about him than his girlfriend though, as he wanted to buy her something for months.

Rummaging through the things I just put in order kind of hurt, but thinking like a housewife actually helped! As we ended up back into the living room, I’ve had a lightbulb moment.

“Wait.” I said. “We are not looking for the necklace itself, right?”

Dave turned to me, still nervous. “No genius we’re looking for a-“

“A tiny blue box?” I cut him off this time, looking at him with the all smug aura I could muster.

My friend’s eyes opened wide in disbelief, as if I started flying in front of him. “Where is it?”

I was ready to have a long monologue about how the house was a mess and how me doing “those boring chores” saved his life today, but I didn’t want to gloat that much, so I just pointed at the small desk (at its drawer, actually) by the front door, explaining that I found the box earlier today without realising what it was, and how I put it inside said drawer.

When Dave opened the drawer and reached for it, he let out a loud sigh of relief, holding it as if it was The One Ring. He put both his hands on the small desk and stood there for almost 30 seconds, in silence. He then finally turned around, sporting his usual smile.

“Thanks bro.” he said. He was in a good mood again.

He (carefully) left the box on the desk and stepped back into the living room, and we both collapsed on the couch.

“That was close” he turned to me, casually touching my shoulder. “Thanks again.”

“Now, I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’, but-“

But nothing. It was Dave’s turn again to cut me off, the way he does best. Spreading his jeans-clad legs, he simply ripped a loud, relatively short fart. Despite being ripped directly on the couch, the sound was actually quite clear.

He just stared at me, waiting for my awkward reaction, sporting a silly smirk on his face, his classic “I’m gonna tease you now” smirk. It was just a game for him, which I both hated and appreciated.

“Isn’t Dana waiting for you?” I said, my voice cracking only sixteen times.

“Actually.” he chuckled. “She texted me a few minutes ago. She’s gonna be late, we have time…”

“We…?” I asked, but I knew where this was heading… of course it was.

Dave laughed again and he adjusted his position on the couch, lying down, as if I wasn’t even there: he wrapped his long legs around me and pulled me down, as he showed off his jeans-clad ass in my direction, with my face ending up really close to it. A familiar view, yet I’ll never get used to it.

“So yeah I can threaten you a bit, but clearly I’m not gonna punch you… so guess what?”

He raised his legs just enough to fully showoff that denim ass in front of me, as if he wanted to make sure that my face was perfectly aligned to that. I could see my friend’s smirk while he narrowed his eyes as he started to push, one of those difficult “post-work farts” that sometimes are too big to be ripped all at once.

But for Dave, that was almost effortless: the fart was huge and loud, and I could feel the vibrations all over the couch and, well, my face. I tried to keep my eyes open as the ass roared in front of me, closely inspecting the seams and textures of Dave’s jeans, and even that small red tag on his right pocket. 

As I said, I’ll never get used to how lucky I am.

The fart lasted 11 seconds and the silence was only broken by Dave’s whistling in relief, well aware of how big that was. 

“Feeling threatened yet?” my bud joked.

If by “threatened” he meant “horny” then yes, absolutely.

“Maybe you should just punch me.” I replied.

Dave laughed and once again adjusted his position a bit, making sure that his denim ass was in front of me.

“Believe me, you’ll wish I was punching you after this one.” there, that smirk again. “Ready?” 

I was not, but it’s not like I had the time to think about it, as my face was once again blasted with a second, loud rip. I thought he was done, but his ass just wanted to me feel stupid -then again, he’s Dave, he’s *never* done.

This one was a bit shorter, around 9 seconds, but felt like ages. I backed just a bit to have a better view of that wall of jeans in front of me and my friend’s face who, as usual, was amused by me being still awkward (and, well, with my face literally in his ass). At this point he wasn’t holding me down with his legs anymore, but it’s not like he needed to.

“Hold on.” he suddenly said. He looked around, as if he was waiting for some kind of signal, said “signal” being sure that what he was brewing was yet another big one. He looked back at me, smirk drawn on his face. “I think I feel another one coming…” he almost whispered.

As he said that, he lied down on the couch even more, planting his ass on my face. The jeans’ seams and textures tickled my nose, the stench of the previous blasts burning my nostrils. But I felt it, I felt him pushing one more out, and he did deliver, as usual.

Yet another loud, long fart, up close and personal, even more than the previous ones. Almost made me deaf, the sudden thunder making my face shake. I swear at one point it sounded like a car engine going fast, really fast.

The longest fart for today, Dave saving the best for last as usual.

I guess this way his own way to thank for helping him… but I’m pretty sure he was gonna blast my face soon or later anyway. He knows I like, he know’s it’s gross, but he can’t help to find… me, hilarious. Disgustingly hilarious.

As the fart faded into silence, Dave adjusted his position again, this time setting me free as he sat down normally on the couch. I did the same, hoping he’d ignore my startled face… which he did, since he was checking his phone as if nothing happened.

“Fuck.” he said. “Dana texted me again. She’s waiting for me.” 

He quickly got up and ran towards the front door. I followed him, making sure my boner didn’t get in the way.

I tried to speak normally. “I thought she was late?”.

“She was, and then she texted me she wasn’t anymore, but I couldn’t hear my phone because apparently my farts are just too loud for both of us.” he explained, trying not to laugh like an idiot as he finished the sentence.

“Dave…” I simply said. I was ready to say my usual awkward “Thank you”, as I tried to hide my boner, but instead I went for the kill. “I told you so…”

My bro reaction was quick: he immediately punched me on my shoulder.

“Told ya I was gonna punch you.” he said, winking, as he stepped outside and closed the door behind me.

“You never said so!” gotta work on my comebacks.

For being a quick session, Dave sure took his time to rip some pretty long farts. I guess he really likes to threaten me.

End of Episode 19

#fart story #eproctophilia #fart kink #davefarts2 #malefarts #gayfart

[kaeru-kobold]

Kaeru Kobold-Dear Tumblr #1

I finally decided what I'm going to do with this Tumblr Account! Aside from the typical reposts of my art, self-promotion and such, I'm going to use it primarily as a live, public diary of my adventure in Vtubing, streaming and content creation, so here goes my very first entry. I think I'm going to try to do this daily, at the very least I'll make one weekly and on big events.

Dear Tumblr,

it's currently 1:22 AM, 12/11/23. I've been interested in becoming a Vtuber for roughly a year now, and have slowly done tons of research, watched hours of Vtuber content for fun and advice, built up art and assets, came up with a new Sona design, customized models, and have spent hours upon hours of work making art and assets related to that goal. Boy they really don't tell you how much work it is to be a streamer/content creator, especially when you're broke and doing it all by yourself. Speaking of broke... I'm currently out of work, money is very low, and I'm very stressed out. I made the mistake of leaving my old job for a new one that I hoped would be a good opportunity, but I had to leave on day one for moral and public health reasons I won't get into. I have put in dozens of applications the last two weeks and have mainly only received automated emails; I have done 2 Zoom interviews for two different jobs, and then was never given a call or email back. My old job won't take me back for reasons beyond me. I admitted this in an OkayDonuts stream a day or so ago, and he said similar issues motivated him to start streaming. This gives me so much hope that I can have the great community and career success that he has that I so desire-If he could do it, so can I! Right? I just really like making stuff, I've always liked learning new techniques both physical and digital; crochet, clay sculpting, wood carving, painting, graphic design, 3D modelling/Texturing, game design. I wasn't good at much as a kid, but art was my passion, and the best part was seeing how happy it made other people. I just want to make cool things that make people happy and create a community of similarly creative people to share our passions and bring more kindness and cool creations into the world. I don't want to be an uber rich Mr. Beast level celebrity, I just want to make enough that I don't need a menial job I suffer at. Simply making a decent living in this world off my art would be a blessing, it would be so much better for my mental health. Speaking of which, if you're reading this....did you know I take commissions? Please commission me, I hungy :'( But seriously, as of writing this, I have $43.20 in my bank account. My phone bill alone is $45. My partner and I have family support, so we'll get by ok, but the struggle and having to ask for help is really getting to me. On the bright side, since we should count our blessings- I have a really nice microphone since my partner tried streaming a couple years ago and is letting me use it whenever I need! I have a really good laptop from my college days that can run everything I need without getting TOO overwhelmed. I have a really good drawing tablet that I bought a couple years ago when I was doing a little better financially (It's much easier to save money when you're living with your parents and work 40 hours a week for $13/hr and your parents pay for everything) Losing my job may be a blessing in disguise because In my stress I have gone into a manic state and began going crazy getting my custom stream Overlays done, fully animated Stream Opening, BRB and Closing Screens, stinger transition animation, a functioning PNGTuber, and multiple drawings/animations for alerts/emotes/rewards/etc. and yes that includes things I didn't know I needed to be a Twitch Affiliate to even use...lol...I'm currently working on an animated lore video for my debut that I will also record a voice-over for. Lastly, a more recent thing-My partner found a gamer chair in the dumpster at our apartment last week after I had spent a couple months trying to find one-the cheapest ones on Facebook Marketplace in our area were like $80-and it's in near perfect condition, only a bit of scuff/rip on the seat and arm rests. How crazy is that? I gave it a good scrub-down and its good to go. I choose to take that as a sign from the universe that I'm on the right path. Wish me luck! With lots of love, Kaeru Kobold

#virtual youtuber #vtuber #furry #furry vtuber #kaerukobold

[the-queen-of-fools]

Coffee & Cowboys

Chapter 7

——— Word count: 1168 Pairing: Jack ‘Agent Whiskey’ Daniels x English f!Reader (no y/n, no descriptions)  Rating: Mature (For themes. No smut.) Warnings: Slow burn; minor angst; post-movie; AU, fix-it fic. A/N: I’m REALLY sorry for the long hiatus. I’m going to try my best to be more regular with updates (possibly a new chapter every 2 weeks?) Also posted on Ao3 ———

“So, why me?” You ask Ginger when you get back into her lab. “No idea about that. You ever been to Kentucky before?” “No.” “Ever visited any of the Statesman offices before?” “No.” You pause, thinking of another question that’s just as important. “What about why now? I mean, it’s been 8 months since the whole Poppy thing, why not then?” Ginger sighs, and places her tablet down on the desk next to her. “Jack can hear me, right?” You nod. “It may have had something to do with him dying.” Both you and Jack respond at the same time. “What?” “Only for about a minute.” Ginger quickly adds on, holding her hands up in defence. “…But you died, Whiskey.” The cowboy’s jaw is slack, and he looks a little like he did when you first saw him in your kitchen. It feels like a lifetime ago. Ginger continues to speak to the air, “when you were on the flight back from Cambodia, there were some complications from transport. The effects of those complications made you crash the other day, and you died. I’m sorry.”

You jerk your head up suddenly, “Wait, did you say Cambodia?” “Yeah, that’s where Whiskey… got hurt,” Ginger answers. “Shit.” You mumble, and clutch onto your necklace. “What is it, darlin’?” Jack whispers to you. “My necklace. My roommate visited Cambodia a while back, she bought me this necklace.” You hold onto the pendant. “Could it be coincidental, or have we figured something out?” “When Poppy died, her entire place was emptied, demolished and parts were recycled. It’s possible, I imagine that it could be some of that metal?” “So, some of the metal could have been melted down and made into my necklace?” “Still don’t explain why me though, darlin’” Jack says, frowning. “Um, Jack still doesn’t get the connection, and to be honest, neither do I?” “Is it possible that it just happened to be something that belonged to him?” Ginger says softly. Jack sighs, patting his hip. “My gun? It’d be one of the only things left behind?” You repeat it to Ginger, and she taps a tablet screen, watches something, and looks back up. “Jack’s knife was put through the meat grinder. If the metal was used for the necklace, it could be acting like some sort of talisman.” You look up to the cowboy standing next to you, him looking as dumbfounded as you feel. “So then, when you died, it brought you to me?” You whisper, as Jack looks at you, brows furrowed, and gives you a small nod.

A talisman, conduit, a lightning rod, for his what? Spirit? Soul? Consciousness? Your hand is still wrapped around the pendant, holding on to the necklace like an anchor, grounding yourself. This little thing, the smallest impossible chances, has connected the two of you together. “I need a minute.” You say, and Ginger simply nods as you turn towards the door. You leave her lab, and return to the small room with Whiskey’s unconscious form within, Jack close behind. “Darlin’?” whispers the cowboy, just a head through the wall, as if mounted on it, as you lean back against the door. Jack finishes walking through the wall, settling next to you, leaning back against it. Stupid metaphysical contradictions. “You alright, sugar?” “It’s stupid.” You whisper as you turn to face him, a shoulder now supporting you. He mirrors you, leaving you face to face with barely a foot between you. “If I didn’t have this necklace, or if you hadn’t lost your knife, or if the stupid building hadn’t been demolished and recycled, then what? You’d just be there,” you gesture towards the bed, “and that’s it?” “You could have gotten on with your life, sugar.” “Oh come on, Cowboy.” You shake your head at him, and lean it back against the wall, a smile spread on your face. “This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. If I had a choice, I’d pick your moustache and stetson following me around, any day.” A faint smirk pulls at his lips, and a low chuckle escapes him. “Well, thanks sugar. I’d pick the same.” He watches you blush a little, and you try to hide it from him, looking over to his physical form across the room. “Are you alright with all this? Being here, seeing yourself like that? You’d tell me right, if you wanted to go?” He looks at your face, the concern written on it, your brows pulled together, and your lips pulled to a thin line. He opens his mouth to speak, when a knock on the door interrupts, breaking through the moment. Ginger slowly appears through the doorway to check on you. “Let me guess, more tests?” You ask her, and she nods, smiling softly. “I’ve updated Champ, he said he might come down in a bit too, see our progress.”

“I imagine you want me to take the necklace off, right?” You ask Ginger back in the lab, though you’re sure of the answer already. “It’s just to see if it is that that’s connecting the two of you.” “But what happens if he disappears and doesn’t come back? What then?” “It’s… just a risk we’re going to have to take.” “But what if it’s one I don’t want to take?” You reply, accidentally snapping at Ginger. Jack chuckles lightly, touched at your concern. “Darlin’, I’ll be fine. I’m already in a coma, what else could go wrong?” “Well done for jinxing yourself there, Cowboy.” You look between the two, and sigh dramatically when you accept what needs to be done. “Fine. But I will say ‘I told you so’ if this goes badly.” “Sure thing, sugar.” You reach behind your neck, undoing the latch of the chain, and breathe out when you take it off, keeping your eyes on the man in front of you. You place it into Ginger’s hand, breaking contact with the metal. Nothing happens. Jack doesn’t vanish, fade or become blurry. “He’s still there,” you breathe out, a smile appearing on your face. Ginger watches your reaction, a small sad smile on her own lips too. “Okay, um, let me…” she says as she puts it on herself. She waits a moment. “Nothing. I don’t see him…” she shrugs, murmuring to herself, “must have been wrong, I guess.” She takes it off and passes the necklace back to you, still mumbling things to herself as she walks off to the other side of the room. You secure the necklace back in its rightful place as quickly as possible. Your shoulders relax a little, and you sigh, placing your hand over it in comfort. You look up at Jack again, and give the man a sad smile. “For what it’s worth Whiskey Cowboy, I’m sorry you’re stuck following me around.” You turn and start walking towards where Ginger’s stood, and Jack pauses for a moment before whispering to himself, “oh, English, I’m right where I wanna be.”

#Coffee & Cowboys fic #Martha writes #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #kingsman 2 #kingsman: the golden circle

[maximumsunshine]

My 11yo is branching out in their art. I bought them (fresh) art supplies beginning of summer as an early birthday present so they could spend the summer painting. Then they sort of moved on to digital art on their phone a month or two ago, though they do still physically paint too. Then when that really nice art program went on major sale just recently for 10$ I bought them a copy for Christmas. My mom got them a drawing tablet that was on amazing sale during prime day just last week that will be under the tree.

Anyway they went from full body portraits to like landscapes. And now they are working on their first I guess it's called still life? I dunno. They are drawing their shoe.

It's pretty cool watching them learn and grow and try new things. I try to be open minded and supportive in all things, so that I'm shown neat things like art both completed and in progress. We also talk about the ups and downs of life too, but ya know, we can do that while I watch them paint their shoe.

Kid's pretty neat, if i do say so myself.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Heartache: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

Every once in a while, you get to enjoy the small things. You spent a whole week trying to find Kevin, but the kid wants to stay hidden. You can't really do much since Castiel isn't here to track him for you, and no other angel would want to help you three. You only have each other, and the best thing for Kevin right now is to keep him hidden. The more people know about him, the more likely it is that Crowley will find him.

Sam wanted to stop at a farmer's market for some fresh food, and you second that notion. Dean's been so caught up with finding Kevin that it didn't register to him where he was. Joanna refuses to leave his side, so he's trying to look on his phone while holding his daughter. It doesn't matter to you since you get a break from her. Carrying two kids inside of you and caring for a toddler is enough to make you go crazy, but you have two other people to help if you need it.

Not to mention that Amara hasn't left your side since you left the place that held the auction you three went to. She hasn't said much to you, just likes to stand off to the side and watch. It should freak you out, but you feel a sort of comfort from her. You can't really explain it, and you choose not to explain to the brothers. They would never understand because they don't know what it's like to have someone stuck inside their own head.

Well, Sam does, but he always feared Lucifer. You don't fear Amara... at least, not yet.

The best you can do is live your life in hopes she won't ruin it. You and Sam walk the aisles with Dean, but he isn't paying much attention to where he is going. You and Sam, though, pick and buy fruit when you pass by booths, munching on them. It's nice to experience this after a year spent in Purgatory. You're trying to move on from it while Dean is seemingly stuck in the past.

He has one foot in both places still, but you're trying to make it to the light at the end of the tunnel. You're a changed woman, for sure, but you try not to let it show just how much Purgatory fucked you up.

"Wow. Couple goes to Purgatory for a year, and all hell breaks loose. Check this out. A jogger in Minneapolis gets his heart ripped out," Dean says while reading from his phone.

"I'm guessing literally?"

"Only way that interests me. Then, there's another article from six months ago." While Dean is talking, Sam is putting veggies and fruit into a canvas bag he picked up from where he got his apples from. "Same thing happens, also in Minneapolis. What does that tell us?"

"Stay out of Minneapolis," you joke.

"Two hearts ganked, same city, six months apart. I mean, that's got to be a ritual, man. Or at least some sort of a heart-sucking, possessed, satanic, crack-whore bat."

Sam pays for the food he bought and continues walking to the next booth.

"A what?"

"It's a case. Look, I say we put Kevin on the back burner right now and ride."

"We're on a case, Dean. Kevin and the demon tablet need to be found, so the heart guy takes a number."

"Uh, we just spent a week chasing our asses trying to lock Kevin down, okay? Look at us. We're--" He stops himself as he takes in his surroundings. "Where the hell are we?"

"Farmers' market." Sam holds up an apple that he's eating. "Organic." Dena gives him a look, and Sam rolls his eyes. "What? I had a year off. I took the time to enjoy the good things."

"While avoiding doing what we actually do."

"Wow, Dean, does it make you feel that much better every time you say it?" Sam scoffs.

"Alright, man, look, I get it. You took a year off to do yoga and play the lute, whatever, but Y/N and I are back. Okay, we're back, which means that we walk and kill monsters at the same time. We'll find Kevin, but in the meantime, do we ignore stuff like this? Or are innocent people supposed to die so that you can shop for produce?"

You don't want to have this argument yet again so you break off from the group to gather your own fruits. Amara follows closely behind, not saying anything but hovering. You tolerate it for five whole seconds before you sigh and turn to her. You make it look like you're not talking to anyone so that no one thinks you're off your rocker.

"I'm worried about Kevin. What if Crowley already got him?"

"You know he'd taunt you with his capture. Kevin is fine. Crowley needs him to translate the tablet, and he won't do it if his mom is hurt in any way. Plus, it takes a while to translate something like that."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, I don't think it'd be like reading a book."

"I just wish I knew where he is or if he's okay. Not knowing is putting more stress on my body, and I don't think the twins are okay with that."

At the word 'twins', Amara looks down at your stomach. Something in her eyes changes, but you don't know if it's a good change or not. You don't have time to dissect it because Dean comes over and grabs your arm gently. You turn to him just as he moves you away from prying ears.

"What is it?"

"I'm worried about you. You're talking to no one, Y/N. This can't be good for the babies."

"Your babies are perfectly safe," Amara says before you have a chance to say something.

"Our babies are perfectly safe," you repeat her. Dean doesn't believe anything you say, but you don't have time to dwell on this. "Come on, we need to go."

Dean doesn't like this one bit, but you have no clue how you're even going to try and fix this. The only thing you can do is live your life and hope that it doesn't get any worse.

You left Zeus in the motel room since you know you're going to be here for a while, but you have Joanna with you since she is far too young to be by herself. Plus, what kind of mother would you be if you left her alone without any protection? Maybe once you know she will have her magic to defend herself will you be semi-okay with leaving her alone. You have no idea when that is going to happen, so for now, she is always going to be with you, her dad, or her uncle.

The police at the Minneapolis police department thought it was weird you have a two year old in your arms, but the glare you send their ways shut them up from making things worse for themselves. She's been clinging to Dean a lot more these days the more her personality shines through, but you have her this time. All she wants to do is copy her dad and be just like him, but she knows this is a situation where she needs to be with her mother.

It's scary how much she knows and she's only two.

"Here's what's odd about this thing," the lead detective says, putting the files down regarding the case, "the guy wasn't chopped or cut into--no incision. But his heart was ripped out of him like a peach pit."

"Was he robbed?" you ask and shift Joanna in your arms.

"His phone, watch, and money were all still on him."

"What about enemies?"

"He was in town for a conference. No local connections."

"You guys had another one of these about, uh, six months ago?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, and we hit a brick wall. We had nothing to go on, really. Thought maybe we got lucky here." The detective brings you over to a TV where he shows you a CCTV surveillance video of the park. "A park surveillance camera picked up something."

He plays the video and watches as a heavyset man passes by the victim, a physically fit jogger. The jogger is dead, but the overweight man minds his business and passes by him without another thought.

"Is the heavier man the last person to see the victim alive?" you ask.

"Other than the killer. His name is Paul Hayes. We, uh, pulled him in for questioning."

"So, what makes you think he's clean?"

"Well, so far, no reason not to. I mean, he said he briefly saw the victim, he ran out ahead, and that was it."

"What, you mean he didn't fall to his knees and confess to gutting the guy?"

"No. I mean we did a thorough check on the guy, not so much as a parking ticket came up. I mean, look at him. I mean, sure, he can run a little bit, but he ain't Thor. You think he's gonna grab Freddy fitness here and throw him down and rip out his heart? I don't think so. Forgive me if I didn't take him out back and shoot him."

"Okay, uh, so... any idea where we can find this guy?"

"Yeah, his address is here."

You take the files pertaining to the case and smile at the detective.

"We'll call if we have any other questions."

You three take your leave, and you head back to the car. Paul's house isn't far from where the police department is, so the drive isn't long at all. When you get there, Paul is more than happy to let you in and talk to you. Dean asks to go to the bathroom, so it's just you and Sam inside the kitchen with Paul. He seems like a health nut--nothing like the guy from the video.The guy from the video is a lot heavier than the guy in the kitchen.

What the hell happened to him?

Paul is in the middle of mixing a smoothie in a blender, and when you two settle in, he continues with his task.

"Sorry. I kind of try to stick to a nutrition and workout schedule. Do you want a hit?" Paul offers when it's done, pouring himself a glass of the thick liquid.

"We're good, thanks," Sam shakes his head.

"So, Paul, you passed a runner who was later killed. Did you speak with him at all?" you ask, getting right to it.

"Yeah, I went over this with the cops. I-I–I didn't know him. I had never spoken to him. I ran past him. I never saw him again. The end," he shrugs. A toilet flushes, and Dean soon returns to the kitchen. Paul takes a swig of the smoothie, but recoils in disgust. "Oh, it's disgusting. It tastes like shit, but it keeps you young."

He offers the drink to Dean, but the older brother quickly shakes his head.

"Thanks, uh, too much fiber."

"No such thing."

"Now, Paul, we couldn't help but notice that the jogger you outraced was a good deal younger than you," Sam says, leaving out the part about him being much overweight.

"Yeah and less--" Dean stops himself, but he makes the motion that he's talking about him being bigger.

"Uh, full-figured?" Paul says, putting together what he was trying to say. "You should've seen me before. Yeah, hugging a desk all day, watching TV all night, and eating fried everything was killing me. I had a health scare about a year ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, it changed my life. I mean, I started taking care of myself."

"Now your body's a temple, huh?" Dean asks, trying to be sarcastic.

"Where I worship every day."

He takes another sip, and you realize you're not going to get anywhere with this man. You say your goodbyes and leave with the brothers. With nothing left to go on, you decide to stop at a cafe since you're starving. After all, you're eating for three now. You try not to overeat while pregnant since you can gain a lot of weight that's very hard to lose, so you try to eat a normal amount as if you're not pregnant. That doesn't mean that you get a strong craving once in a while.

Joanna is old enough to enjoy a high chair since she's grown so much. Her appetite has changed as well since you last saw her. She used to enjoy mashed peas and carrots with the occasional cut up grape. Now, she's eating almost everything you're eating. She has such a healthy appetite for everything that it makes you sad.

You missed a year of her life--an important year of her life. She won't remember it, but you will. You'll have missed the first time she ate solid foods, the first time she actually strung a sentence together that made sense, and many other firsts. She chews on the food you've shared with her happily, but you look at her with sadness in your eyes.

Dean sees it, and he knows exactly what you're thinking. He's sad about it, of course, but you're more in touch with your emotions than he is. You'll show your sadness more than he ever would.

"She isn't going to remember you being gone," Amara says from next to you. "All she'll remember is that you're here now."

Somehow, that makes you feel a little bit better.

Wanna get tagged? Add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why! Follow my library blog @queenofdeansbooty-writes​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can follow that if you can’t be tagged!

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#heartache #spn series rewrite #supernatural series rewrite #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fan fic #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fluff #supernatural angst #spn #spn fic #spn fanfiction #spn fiction #spn fan fiction #spn fanfic #spn fan fic #spn fluff #spn angst

[tiredassmage]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thank you for the tag @captainderyn!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Possibly a great, great(?) grandmother I never had the chance to meet, via middle name, though it’s been... probably at least a decade since I heard that tatter and I’m not sure how correct it is, lol. I’m... not particularly close to a vast majority of the family, tbh, given Drama(TM). Mom picked by meanings though. I know that was very important to her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I... think I cried a little about a week and a half ago in one of my classes. Not because the class, I promise, lol. We watched the pilot episode of a show called Station Eleven in class and that was a gut puncher.

3. Do you have kids?

No, thank you. My pets and my OCs are all I need, lol. Very ace. Not my personal cup of tea.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Mmmm. I wouldn’t say regularly. It has its moments and I’m sure I was a bit more brutal with it when I was a kid, but its purpose isn’t generally helpful in areas where I need to communicate. I think most of the things I say sarcastically now are probably in regards to fictional characters. xD

5. Favorite time of day?

Late evening, in that like seven - ten pm range. Generally evenings. I’m absolutely not a morning person. If I’m up rather early, I’m tired later in the day. Evening tends to host “me” time.

6. Eye color?

Good ol’ reliable brown. (I need more brown eyed ocs, tbh?) Fun fact: eyes are kind of what enchants me, irl and I probably tend to be a bit invested in fictional character eye colors, too, lol. They’re beautiful. I have no other explanation. That said, I’m very shy about eye contact until I feel more comfortable with people/get to know them better.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, if I’m picking between them and scary. I don’t do horror, I am baby. I can be enraptured by a decent thriller and loved a good crime drama TV show. I can kind of do paranormal stuff sometimes, but I can scare myself just thinking a little too hard about it, so very hesitant.

8. Any special talents?

Mmmm... nothing nontraditional, I suppose. I had a few music teachers tell me when I was younger that I have hands that would’ve been great for piano, but I wasn’t super interested in pursuing musical interests outside of, like, basic school requirements. I did chorus for a while, but was kinda eh. I did enjoy acoustic guitar, but, again, not exactly enough that I ended up doing anything with it.

9. Where were you born?

Rural northeastern US of A. I miss having a fall season, but decidedly not enough to give up the warmth of living much farther south.

10. What are your hobbies?

Largely video games, lol, if it was hard to tell. I’d like to do more drawing and get into digital art. I am majoring in Digital Media Design, after all. One of my hopes is to properly play around with a tablet I bought myself over the summer while I take a break from courses. I desire to draw my blorbos, haha!

11. Do you have any pets?

Two ball pythons, the loves and amusing occasional nuisances of my life! They made a brief appearance on my main here. There’s also two dogs in the house, James and Cooper. Cooper is definitively my mom’s dog, however, and, jokingly, my little brother. (He’s her favorite. We all know this.) Cooper is... ??? We think a Collie mix. And James is a Basset-Lab, both adopted about a year or two apart, if I remember right.

12. What sports do you/have you played?

Oh, actual eons ago, I briefly played soccer (probably not very well) when I was very, very small. I have ridden horses (I miss them, Brent), but primarily only in schooling shows and I did participate for a few years in my barn’s summer gaming series just at Walk/Trot. I used to ride low-level jumping courses. Competitive sports haven’t ever really been my thing, particularly to participate in. I would’ve called riding one of my hobbies while I did. It’s an expensive one though and a bit of a tricky one to get back into when balancing college and part-time retail work. My mom and I try to stick to our developed tradition of selecting a local trail riding venture to attend every year for my birthday though that keeps that connection outside of whatever I vicariously pick up through games, lol.

13. How tall are you?

5′5ish. A smidgen shy, but that’s what they put on my license.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Histories and sciences. If I wasn’t so averse to writing research papers and math, I have genuinely considered majoring in either area. Unfortunately, my university doesn’t have a program for meteorology (weather and natural events are a somewhat more recent interest of mine) and video games evidently have some staying power as my interests, so that’s how I ended up in DMD.

15. Dream job?

I’m honestly not sure anyone has a really solid answer to this question, lol. I certainly don’t. I... went into DMD partially because it was interesting enough and I genuinely felt college would benefit me somehow. While I like my pet store job, it’s not exactly where I’d like to spend the next twenty years, even if I am a creature of habit that balks at change, lol.

So, theoretically, I’m studying DMD and entertaining the idea of a minor in creative writing because characters have always been one of the most important aspect of games to me. The idea is to maybe pursue a focus on character or scenario writing, but I... really don’t know, lol. I’m still largely clearing prerequisites and other structural graduation requirements, so I haven’t really dug into the focus areas of my degree yet and I definitely still doubt that I know what I’m doing or if it’ll genuinely be something I can pursue.

It’s definitely scary and I absolutely struggle with that uncertainty, but it’s also a process of just trying to remind myself that it’s a skill and therefore it is something I can develop if I put the work in - that’s the whole purpose of taking classes, after all. It’s something I’m trying to be more conscious of because I have found it very easy to slip into the student mindset of doing things just for class, so I’m still not sure what all I have as far as presentable skills or how to showcase them. But that is... off the base question, I suppose, lol.

So, work in progress!

Uhhhhmmm, this one’s sort of a mix idk who to tag for, lol, so I think I’ll leave this one open? Muts/followers, feel free to say you’ve been tagged if you’d like to do this one!

#tag games #dot talk

[cnstv]

October 3. I'm still so dependent on paper that I've now bought a writing tablet. I don't want to steal paper out of printers anymore, or pick from a stack of paper that I keep in my closet for that. And then not be able to find a pen. If, in critical moments, I don't have paper and pen, I simply can't work at all. The ideas stay pupated, I can't make any progress. I then need those sheets of paper with my notes for a few hours to days, I never know exactly, but after that they can be trashed. Except that it often takes weeks before they bother me so much that I actually throw them away.

So now a writing tablet. I immediately wrote J a letter on it, just the way I last wrote to someone twenty-five years ago, in a slowness that seemed unexpectedly familiar. During the time with the client today, I needlessly scribbled away on the tablet, but lingered to see if an idea would be required for which I would actually need the tablet. And indeed! And the idea came, and I was able to develop it on two pages and figure it out. I am happy like a child at how fundamentally my life might have changed once again. 

The tablet – a reMarkable 2 – is considered the one that feels closest to pen and paper. I can also erase, circle things and move them around on the page, and draw live in a video conference. I don't have to throw anything away, it all stays there, but doesn't bother anyone.

[msbarrows]

Finally went on my first walk since getting back from Toronto two weeks ago (walk #63). Been meaning to do it for a while, but between bugs, fire smoke, rain, and random foot pain days, this was one of the first where everything was okay enough to get me out the door.

Yes, I am 100% missing being able to walk until tired and then hop a bus back. Also being able to do things like window shop like walking.

The walk also gave me the chance to use a new purse I bought online just before coming back north (and arrived just a couple days after I did).

There's an old leather purse of mine (bought in the early 90s) that I loved for years and used long past the stage where it was looking merely distressed from wear, and all the way into it looking sad and badly worn. I've held onto it for years with the hope of at some point taking it to a leather worker and getting them to replicate it for me. It's basically a cylindrical leather bucket that zips together at the top end, and has a strap that can be used as a shoulder strap from the top, or from the side as a sling bag. The strap is fixed to one side of the top and the base of the bag, running through a ring at the other side of the top.

For a few years now I've also done occasional web searches trying to find something like it. While looking up something completely unrelated on Amazon, a very similar bag for men turned up in my results, so of course I grabbed one. It's not bad; it's got more compartments and stuff than my old bag did. The layout is very different though; the strap and all openings are along one side of the cylinder, it just has a snap holding the 'top' to where the side strap attaches rather than the strap running through a ring at that corner. It also includes an exterior pocket (yay!) whose opening is unfortunately just a little too short to easily use for my phone (boo). It's also got more internal pockets (1 zippered + two open mouthed, all inset in the sides) than the old bag (1 zippered), which is nice. It's also only about 2/3 the capacity of the old purse. Overall I'm happy with it...

...but I still want to take my old purse to a leather worker and have it used as the pattern for a new bag. Just... maybe a new bag with some additional features, like an exterior side-accessible pocket big enough for my phone, wallet, bus pass, and keys, and maybe some better interior organization, including a central padded pocket big enough for an 11" tablet.

#MsB goes for a walk #Purses #Sling Bag #Actually tripped over the web site for a possible leather worker while I was in Toronto #Might bring the bag down with me in the fall and go get a quote

[purplesurveys]

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1 - When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction? What did you buy? Around a month ago when I bought my Dunks. I wanted to have nice shoes for my holiday, but it was also to give a subtle fuck you to my Nike-competitor client since they’re turning out to be my least favorite client.

2 - Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Would you judge a grown adult for doing so? I guess BT21 plushies count as stuffed animals, yeah? And no, I wouldn’t judge at all. I don’t care for the most part how people live their lives.

3 - Would you describe yourself as fashion-conscious, or do you just wear whatever feels comfortable? Hm, I’m pretty conscious. I like to look good. Some days I’ll be tempted to just go the comfy route, but then I’ll change my mind once I look in the mirror and see that my top and bottom don’t match. 4 - The last time you got up from where you’re sitting, where did you go and what did you do? I went from the living room to my bedroom since I wanted to have a bit of me time with the rain before I need to start working tonight.

5 - Would you rather read an erotic novel or watch an erotic film? Read.

6 - Who taught you how to tell the time on a proper analogue clock? It may have been my older cousin.

7 - What’s your favourite way to make your home smell good? Do you spend a lot of money on making this happen? I don’t invest in this kind of stuff, tbh. I’ve used a scented candle once or twice but I’ve never held on to it as a habit.

8 - How long have you had the computer/tablet you’re currently using? Does it need replacing or upgrading? I’ve had this trusty laptop since 2017, so it’s been over six years. It definitely needs upgrading if we’re being technical – I’ve since stopped receiving Chrome updates for it – but since I only ever open this anymore to take surveys, I’m not in a hurry to replace it anytime soon.

9 - When you’re home alone, do you make sure all your doors are kept locked? Only in the evening when I turn in. Otherwise, I don’t mind keeping the doors open during the day. I live in a safe, private neighborhood and everyone minds their own business. 10  - How often do you light candles? Do you just like regular ones or do  you prefer scented ones or ones that make pretty patterns when they melt? Never. The only ones I’ve used have been gifts, too. 11 - Are you any good at taking care of plants? Nope. They never last with me.

12 - How many surveys have you taken so far today? Will you take anymore surveys today once you’ve finished this one? This is my first one today; I’m not sure if I’ll take any more after this. If I do, I’m guessing around one or two more before it starts to feel tiresome. 13 - What are the main two colours in the room you’re currently in? Did you pick these colours out yourself? White and brown. Sure.

14 - What was the last hot drink you consumed? What about cold drink? I had hot milk tea in Malaysia – apparently they like their milk tea hot! Pretty unique experience. As for cold drink, I’m having iced coffee right now.

15 - Do you have piercings anywhere except your ears? How many and what are they? Nope, you got it right with just ears.

16 - Do you prefer taking baths or showers? How come? Showers because 1) we don’t have a bathtub, and 2) starting a bath is just too much work for me lol. It’s also like, you need time to fill it up, then you just sit in your own dirt and stuff. Not really a fan.

17 - What time do you need to wake up tomorrow morning? What is it that you have to be up for? 9 AM at the latest – work.

18 - If you work, how often do you get paid? Would you prefer to get paid more or less often? Every two weeks. I’m fine with the length; I learn how to budget from it.

19 - What does your favourite pair of pyjamas look like? Do you wear them to sleep or just to be comfy around the house? It’s purple and has a checkered design. Yes, I just wear it in the evening when I’m about to sleep.

20 - How often do you wake up in the night needing a pee? That never happens as I stay up long enough to sleep through the entire night, anyway.

21 - What apps do you use the most on your phone? Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, and Reddit.

22 - Do you prefer cats or dogs? Do you own any of either? I like dogs; yes, we have two.

23 - Do you have one of those fridges that has an ice-maker in the front? If not, would you find one useful? We don’t have an ice-maker, and I have no immediate need for one.

24 - Do you like wearing hats? What’s your favourite style? Yes, I have several bucket hats.

25  - If you live in a household with pets, who is responsible for their care - both in terms of finance and the physical tasks involved? Back then with Kimi I used to be the all-around parent, from feeding him, cleaning up after him, bathing him, to paying for vet visits. With Cooper and Agi, my sister and I split – I pay for anything that needs to be paid, my sister feeds them.

26 - What’s your opinion on leggings as pants? Whatever?

27 - Have you ever driven in bare feet or do you think that’s too dangerous? That’s...so unusual. Literally nobody does that around here.

28 - Have you ever walked out of a job before? What were the circumstances and did you ever go back? Nope.

29 - Do you collect anything? Are these things worth money or are they practical/sentimental items? Just K-pop merch. They are both.

30 - Do you have anything hanging from your ceiling apart from lights? Nopes.