#also i did engage in a little light making fun of england here as is my right but thai omelets actually are like. cooked a Lot more

[sollucets]

could you maybe write something where akk calls aye his home?

i absolutely can do that, nonny, thank u for asking! have a little bit (1.5k. of course.) of long-distance akkaye :') loosely related to the last prompt but fine to read without it

💜

“Akk, are you sleeping?” 

Aye’s voice is tinny, the noises of a subway station behind him just the right side of too-loud through Akk’s phone speakers to catch his slow-moving attention. His headphones must have slipped out; he doesn’t remember it happening. 

“No,” he answers, like a liar, and pushes himself upright on his dorm bed with some effort.

He’d given up on holding his head up to look at the screen part way through Aye talking about one of the other international students he works with and her hopeless crush on a Thai grad student senior of theirs that Aye is 100% sure is taken, and all of the accompanying drama. “You think P’Win has a partner already.” 

“That’s the last thing you heard?” Aye asks, pouting a little on the tiny screen under his big blue scarf. His cheeks are pink. It’s really, really cute. Someone passes behind him; Akk thinks he hears the edges of a robotic voice making an announcement. “I don’t just think so, I know so, and I was telling you all the evidence.”

“Do you have a conspiracy board for this too, or am I still special?”

Aye says something extremely inappropriate for a public place in response, but he says it in Thai, so he’s probably safe. Akk still opens his mouth to scold him on principle, but he’s caught by a yawn before he can say anything, jaw cracking unpleasantly. 

Aye’s expression melts from put-upon irritation to fondness so quickly it’s impressive. “You don’t have to stay up so late for me,” he says. “Don’t you have class in the morning? At nine, right?” 

“Don’t remind me,” grumbles Akk with a sigh, but he swings his legs over the side of the bed, picks up his phone sans headphones, and heads into the bathroom barefoot. “It’s not really so late. And besides, you’d pout if I went to bed without calling. It’s our day.”

Their day, Thursday specifically, had been the day that worked best with both their busy schedules and the six-hour time difference for most of the first semester of their time apart. They’ve missed only once, during Akk’s midterms, and Aye had texted no less than thirty times that day, all test-taking memes and supportive emojis. Now, though, Aye’s classes combined with his new work in his university's tutoring center run into the London evening; it’s midnight in Chiang Mai. 

Aye says something in response, but whatever it is is drowned out by the noise of a rush of people behind him, all probably getting off of a train. 

“What?” asks Akk, propping his phone against the bathroom mirror and grabbing his toothbrush. 

“If it’s really not that late, then why are you falling asleep while I’m talking, hm? Am I so boring to you?” 

Akk rolls his eyes, squeezing out a little toothpaste, and says, “Maybe I just didn’t want to hear you go on and on about P’Win anymore, hm?” 

As expected, Aye zeroes in on that immediately. “Aww, is my baby jealous?”

Akk sticks his toothbrush in his mouth to avoid answering and weathers the ensuing and expected storm of teasing very bravely, if he does say so himself. He lets the ease of falling into a familiar dynamic soothe the very slight sting, and he listens patiently without showing even a hint of a smile on his face at how pleased Aye looks to have ‘won’ that admission. 

“And he’s almost as handsome as me,” Aye is saying, in his most annoying tone of voice, when suddenly he seems to stutter for a moment, his expression freezing in place on his face. It’s odd enough that Akk makes a questioning noise through his mouthful of toothpaste. 

“Akk…” Aye starts. He looks conflicted now, mouth turning down even as he speaks. “You’re not — really, though, right?”

Akk blinks. Then spits. Then says, “No,” even though it’s not 100% true.

His face must show it, because Aye’s frown droops even further and he says, clearly enunciated, “It’s not like that. You know I’m just—”

“Teasing,” Akk interrupts, having mercy on him. “I know. Aye, no, you’re fine. I don’t actually think you’re serious, or you wouldn't have spent the last half hour explaining why P’Win is absolutely definitely taken anyway.” And you wouldn’t usually worry that I did, Akk thinks, so why?

Usually, if he thinks he’s gone too far, Aye just drapes himself over Akk like a particularly affectionate cat, no matter what he’s doing. He kisses his way back to forgiveness, he brings Akk dinner or looks over his homework or buys him stupid, cute little charms to put on his phone keychain, and Akk always lets him even and especially if he isn’t actually mad, and — he can’t do any of that, six hours and half the world away. Oh. This is that communication thing they’re supposed to be better at by now. 

Aye is still staring at him with giant, horrible pleading eyes, because he doesn’t believe him, and he shouldn’t because Akk is still sort of lying. 

Akk sighs. “I’m jealous of anyone who gets to see you all the time.” He can’t keep looking at Aye, his gaze drifting towards the edge of the bathroom counter. “Just a little. That’s all it is. I’m— glad you have Thai friends, actually. You seemed a bit homesick lately. I think it’s cheering you up.” 

It’s silent for a little too long, and Akk finally looks up to make sure nothing’s happened to the connection and finds Aye with one hand over his mouth, eyes still huge but soft around the edges now. 

“What,” he mumbles. 

“My boyfriend is the sweetest,” Aye says, as he’d feared he would, all earnest and sincere and completely without the teasing edge, which makes it worse. 

Akk jerks his head away again, in a motion he couldn’t control if he wanted to. He puts his toothbrush into the cup with more force than is strictly necessary. “It’s just the truth, isn’t it?” 

“Phi reheated omelets on his break the other day and I thought I was gonna cry for a minute,” Aye tells him, laughing an embarrassed little laugh. “They’re not right here. They’re all undercooked and flavorless.”

“Did you get to have any?” asks Akk, imagining Aye looking (up, statistically) at this mysterious P’Win with his awful begging eyes.

“I wouldn't steal my senior’s lunch.”

Akk can’t help the little satisfied twitch of his mouth at that scandalized tone. Aye steals Akk’s lunch all the time. “Too bad. I get it a little, though. I really miss the way my mom prepares things.” 

Chiang Mai is easily 14 hours of travel from his house, more if you count having to switch trains, and he’s only been back once. He dutifully calls his parents every Sunday, but they don’t really have good enough reception there for regular video calls. 

Aye makes a sympathetic noise, then glances at something up and to the right of the camera. He frowns. “Baby, I have to go soon.” 

“‘Kay,” answers Akk, raising a hand to cover a sudden yawn. 

“Don’t worry about me too much,” Aye says, smiling at the screen all little and v-shaped. “I’m okay. I’ll go to a market and get my own ingredients and make my own omelet, and I’ll text you all the time, and I’ll call my mom twice so she can pretend I’m her favorite over you. Don’t you get too homesick either, okay?”

“Even if—“ Akk starts, hesitates, then forges on. He can say these things; he’s worked to say these things. “Even if I visit,” he tells Aye’s tiny, beloved face, miles and miles away and here in his dorm bathroom, “I’ll still be homesick until you come back. You’re my home.” 

Aye stares at him, mouth open for a minute, then demands, “Pick up your phone.”

“What?”

“Just do it. Pick up your phone.”

Slowly and distrustfully, Akk takes his phone off the counter and holds it closer to his face. “Wha—“

Aye’s screen moves suddenly closer and then goes dark, the sound weird and muffled. “Hug me,” he says, just barely audible. 

Akk laughs a little, breathless and pointlessly fond. What must it look like, to those people in the subway station? Alone in his own room, though, he doesn’t hesitate to pull his phone to his chest, right over his heart. 

After a moment, though, he gives in to the temptation to peek and finds the screen still dark. “Aye.”

The station blurs into view again behind an Aye who looks notably pinker than before, a rush of people just like the last one passing behind again. “You’re so — I love you so much,” Aye tells him, sounding helpless, “and I miss you. It’s stupid that term break is still so far away.”

“Aye,” says Akk again, unable to stop grinning if he’d actively tried. “Don’t be late for your train.”

“They’re always late for me,” grumbles Aye, but he sighs and says, “Go to bed, okay? I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you too,” Akk tells him, just before hanging up so he doesn’t have to deal with whatever new heart-squeezing thing Aye’s face is going to do at that. 

Just before he actually gets into bed, quiet in the sudden silence of his empty dorm, his phone lights up with a text: "❤️❤️❤️❤️"

And far away, in a subway car in England, Aye barely represses a little noise of delight to receive “❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️” in return. 

#akkayan #the eclipse #my fic tag #arbitrary milestone prompts #yes by the way that *is* absolutely between us win #who goes on exchange to the uk postseries also #(or at least. kirano has written so many fics abt it i assume it's novel canon and won't be told otherwise) #i couldn't resist #aye and win would be such a combination though can u imagine #also i did engage in a little light making fun of england here as is my right but thai omelets actually are like. cooked a Lot more #like they use a whole ton of oil it's almost pancake-like #(and! im aware it's called 'the tube' there but i'm not writing that in the internal narration of a non-english-speaker ok) #also. i gave aye my old job in this one haha. i worked in my college's tutoring center all 4 years i was there #ok. i'm stopping now enjoy these embarrassing boys

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #17-#16

17. UNITED KINGDOM Mae Muller - "I wrote a song" 25th place

Decade ranking: 46/116 [Above RAFAL, below We Are Domi]

Pahr Mae. All the abuse she had to sit through pre-show for not being Rina Sawayama by twitter queers in ugly mullets (please log off and touch grass.) and later by the boomer press for being a VILE, JEWISH, ANARCHO-LIBERAL ENGLAND-HATING "T-WORD" (just a reminder: Mae is not trans and transphobia hurts ALL women, don't fucking engage in it, you stupid "gender-critical" cunts) for idk... daring to say Tories suck (they do). She gave us the gift of #GAYRIGHTS (she did), and the gays rewarded her back with a paltry bottom 2 placement. She was just tryna slaaaaaaaaaay you filthy little bottoms. 😭😭😭

Like okay, the second Mae said she was on #VocalRest we knew there would be no "recovery". Her singing was never not strained (even at the pre-parties) and it wasn't going to get any better. She knew that and so should've we. Yeah, her off-kilter vocals were a big detriment to the overall performance. I wouldn't dare to claim otherwise.

However, at a certain point in the ranking I have to let go of my ~personal gripes~ and rally my angry logic for the purpose of defence and I've chosen THIS point you can't make me. Mae's vocals were blergh and that was a deal, but visiually, omg, it looked so GOOD?

THE ZENA-ESQUE BACKDROP (yes, we're gonna Like It)

THE FUN ACT WITH THE BUDDING HE/SHE/THEY DANCERS

THE SASS, THE SPUNK, THE ZEST, THE PLUCK

YOU'RE POWERFUL, YOU'RE ALL YOU NEED, WERK IT BABY, COME WITH ME!

If you have a one decently-sized negative and then a bunch of smaller positives, the net result is still a positive, surely? Well it was here and you'll have to deal.

Not to mention the UK fucking TRIED this year, okay and god there have been too many years recently where they've just been fucking phoning it in, not even trying to be good, sending reasonably talented artists like SuRie and James Newman to their doom with lame demos and visionless non-acts nobody could possibly be made to care for. "I wrote a song" was a self-written pamphlet against toxicity and in favour of mental health (Roxen could NEVER; therapy can work lest she/they first learn to LISTEN TO PEOPLE [other than *ndr*w t*te]). Depth and thematic relevance any 2010s BBC entry would murder an orphanage for.

While it did not pay out this year, and instead of like... a solidly competent entry we got a visual treat with trainwreck vocals, point still stands. The UK made an effort to prove that Ryder wasn't a one-time fluke. Kick-ass song by a kick-ass maiden was a good attempt and befitting her entry, is the proof that BBC are working on themselves, which is more than what one can say about the next country on our list:

---------------------------------------------------------

16. MALTA The Busker - "Dance (Your Own Party)" 35th place

Decade ranking: 43/116 [Above Montaigne, below TBA]

As is the case with televised competitions with semifinals, some participants need to NQ and ideally those flop spots go to solulu/delulu broadcasters that have lost their touch with reality, have no idea what they're doing, are throwing away golden opportunities with zero regard and yet respond with indignation when their stupid schemes ricochet back in their faces like errant boomerangs.

So in the light of that, TVM's flop era was has been long in the works and is fully deserved. To hell with this wishy-washy, cynically corporate piece of secretive shit broadcaster. Malta have only been truly good twice recently, and even Destiny was kind of debatable (What separates a "Je Me Casse" from a "Queen Bees" other than two glasses of chardonnay?).

However, as if often the case with entries that get the overdue flop results (see also: Ela and Tell Me More), The Busker didn't particularly deserve to be the anvil of fate, not in the least be hit with such overkill: last place with 3 points, excusez-moi? No idea what The Busker did (well, what they specifically did) to be immediately branded as THE MOST ANNOYING THING OF ALL TIMES once they arrived in Liverpool. We've seen worse of the same "offenses", where WERE these people when The Roop and Mikolas Jozef were being an ABSOLUTE TERROR to us? Oh right, bookie odds made it fashionable to pretend to like them, got it.

Anyway, how else can you do an entry such as "Dance" any justice if not by going ham? This is only one of two recent examples since "Walk On Water" where Malta actually staged appropriately, playing to their song's best strengths.

🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷 I FEEL BETTER IN MY SWEATER 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

I *liked* the presentation. It was jank and clunky and Moldovan. The three acts, the sweater change, the obnoxiously bad sax playback, the bedroom dance moves that completented the song's bedroom karaoke vibe, Dav Jr.'s excellent hairline. Works for me! They HAD A VISION to craft a story of lockdown blues and social anxiety and I won't toss it in the bin just because it's trashy and out of vogue! It's Eurovision, and trashy also-rans have been a staple since the very beginning. Embrace them!

The true reason why the Busker did this poorly was bad luck. They were on second in r/o, had no built-in vote bases (like Serbia) and directly competed with the OTT-LOUD entries from Croatia and Finland. Hurricane Käärijä landed and left only destruction in his wake. Put The Busker in Semi 2 and their total points rise to a similar level that Iru and Diljá got.

Of course, The Busker also dropped for me, but that's just the normal trajectory for gimmicky entries doing its work. When the joke is still fresh and funny, I'm into it the most, but once I've acclimatized my mind and the novelty has worn off and I'm just left with how much I like the music. As it turns out, "Dance" was fine fun semi filler and that's something I'm perfectly okay with. 😁

THE RANKING

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #ESC #ESC 2023 #Eurovision 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #The Busker #Dance (Your own Party) #Malta #Youtube #United Kingdom #UK #Mae Muller #I Wrote A Song

[gaycorner101]

Speak now (or forever hold your peace) ❤️🤍💙

Summary: just as Henry and Alex were finally figuring out their relationship and what it meant for both of them, Henry was forced to engage in a fake marriage with a girl chosen by the king to uphold their reputation and legacy. What will this mean for the two of them and will the wedding go on or will Alex have the courage to stop it and save their love?

Warnings: cussing, angst, mentions of smut, arguing/fighting

I had so much fun writing this. My friend and I wrote and read through each paragraph together. Some of this isn’t proofread so ignore any grammatical mistakes lol. But I hope y’all love it as much as I did. And please send me requests. I do Alex and Henry, Charlie and nick, Simon and willie.

PART 2 COMING SOON! (The wedding)

💜🤍

I am not the kind of boy who should be rudely barging on a white-veil occasion. But you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl.

August 5th, 2015

Curtains closed, slight sun-slight shining through the cracks of the velvet material just enough to light up the darkness of the room but also enough to conceal their privacy. Alex and Henry were on Henry’s bed in England, just shortly after Alex’s mom won her second 4 year term as president of the United states.

They had all celebrated and Alex had brought Henry to his childhood home in Austin where Ellen had gone to give her speech to try to win over Texas, their hometown. He had shown Henry all the photos, height indentures in the wall, awards he had won while he lived as a middle class citizen, and especially his bedroom where they had made love, which was probably the most meaningful place they had ever done so.

It had been a beautiful night of laughing, cuddling, and deep conversations where they really opened up and shared things that had made them even closer somehow. Alex showing Henry something as sentimental as his home growing up had really broke another part of Henry’s wall down, making it easier for Alex to slip through.

Now they lay there in London , in the comfort of silk sheets and warm skin, fingers slightly grazing over one another, tired eyes meeting and kisses being placed over and over again. Henry deeply sighed but not one of uncomfortableness or stress, but a sigh of content and satisfaction. Alex who had his legs intertwined with Henry’s, looked up at him and smiled slightly. “What?” He said, voice gruff and deep. Henry bit his lip and shook his head, shifting his body a little to face towards him. “I’m just-I’ve accepted this. Not that I haven’t already before but truly accepted this is my life. This is who I am and you’re apart of that.” Alex smirked and placed a kiss on his neck. “Henry being lovey? Who even are you?”

Henry scoffed and feigned hurt, hand going over his heart. “I’m offended that you think I’m not lovey…I happen to be a hopeless romantic so screw you, darling.” Alex’s laughter filled the room and he wrapped his arms around Henry and pulled him closer. “I’m just messing with you baby. You’re very romantic and also good in bed.” Henry raised his eyebrows and absent mindedly drew circles into Alex’s back. “Good in bed huh? And here I thought that you loved me for more than my body.” Alex scoffed and shoved him lightly before pulling him in for a soft kiss. “Don’t you even go there. You know I love you, all of you.” He said after pulling away from him.

Henry raised his lips into a genuine smile and went back into the kiss, this time a deeper, sensual kiss. One that left both of them humming for more. The moment was pulled from them when they heard a knock at the door and the rattling of a door knob. Phillips obnoxious voice rung through the hardwood sending both of them into a panic. “Why in the world is your door locked, Henry?” Alex shot up and pulled on his clothes before throwing himself onto a chair a couple feet away from the bed. Henry quickly put on sweatshirt before yelling back. “Uh-coming. One second!” He stood up and walked towards the door, giving one quick glance at Alex before unlocking it and opening it up seeing Phillip stand there all proper and professional, so basically an asshole.

They still hadn’t come out to anyone. The only people who knew was bea, June, zhara, and Ellen. They were both scared of what coming out would bring them considering they were both in high levels of power in two different countries. The press, friends, family, citizens, fans….it would all be so chaotic. And as much as Alex was worried about it all, Henry was more terrified of the situation given his royal status. So they decided to keep quiet and stay in their own little world just for a while longer.

“What’s up?” Henry said, hoping that Philip would say what he needed to say and move on, leaving them alone for the night. Phillip cleared his throat and shot his eyes over to Alex who was sitting in the chair, arms crossed and focused on the conversation. Alex shifted uncomfortably noticing the daggers coming his way. Henry cleared his throat which brought back his attention and Phillip nodded once. “The king has requested both you and Alex in his office, now. Said it was a pressing matter.” Henry scrunched his eyebrows, nerves already starting to bunch up at the ominous sentence as alex stood up from the chair and made his way over to the two brothers. “Why Alex?”

Phillip rolled his eyes, clear annoyance at the question presented. “I’m not at liberty to say. I was given instructions and I’m simply following them. So I would suggest you do the same, Henry.” He walked away, hands at his sides.

Henry’s breathing had faltered and hand curled up into a ball. Alex shut the door and grabbed his balled up fist, prying his fingers apart to replace them with his own. “Hey I’m sure everything is fine. Just breathe. Phillip is an ass and probably making it sound worse than it is.” Henry pulled away and walked across the room to his closet. “If it wasn’t serious, he wouldn’t have asked for you too, Alex. Something is wrong and I’m sure he knows and we’re going to be royally fucked and no I’m not trying to make a joke about any of this and-“ Alex cut him off by standing in front of him and placing both hands on either sides of his face. “Hey hey…baby.” He said softly, eyes searching Henry’s face for any sign of nerves or fear which was evident in all his features.

Henry’s eyes had filled with tears, hands starting to shake. “Hey whatever it is…we will handle it. We always do. I love you. I love you.” He emphasized the phrase. Henry hugged him tightly, gripping his shirt. Alex held his head to his chest and kissed his shoulder. “It’ll be okay. Get dressed and we’ll go and figure this out.” Henry nodded and after pulling away, collected himself and put on the first suit he had hanging up.

💜🤍

Henry and Alex reached the kings office. The door was closed shut, leaving room for more nerve wracking thoughts. As much as Alex wanted to reach for his boyfriends hand, he knew the gesture would be a waste of effort. So he stood there and looked over at Alex, waiting for him to make a call on what to do. Just as he was about to ask, Henry reached forwards and knocked on the door then stepped back and placed both hands behind his back. Something Alex noticed was a royal movement.

Both doors were opened and there stood Phillip once again, looking like he knew what was coming and couldn’t wait to be apart of the reveal. Thankfully, bea was also in the room which eased some of Henry’s discomfort but only a little. The king stood by the open windows, not even a sliver of darkness covered the room which was ironic given the circumstances of everything happening at the moment.

“You know. When I was young,” the king started to say. “I used to sneak around with this girl. She was a citizen while I was just learning how to be a prince. I thought it would make me feel normal and maybe a little bit rebellious. I did think at the time I would be with her for the rest of my life. But it was just a dumb teenagers brain talking. A stupid phase in life. Until I learned the lessons of being a prince and changed my life around.” He looked over at Henry, no real expression on his face, just focus. Like he was hinting at what he was really wanting to say. “What are you getting at, sir?”

King James gestured towards the couch that was placed in the middle of the room, surrounded by a couple other chairs and couches. “Have a seat. We have a lot to discuss.” Everyone in the room sat down. Henry and Alex on one couch, king James on the opposite facing them, bea and Phillip in chairs that also sat opposite of the other. “Is there a reason Phillip and bea are here?” Henry stated. “Yes, Henry. This is a family matter and they deserve to apart of the conversation that is being discussed.”

Alex could see a slight smirk from Phillip out of the corner of his eye and wanted nothing more than to cross the room and punch it off his face. How could a person have this much disdain and hatred for his own brother that he would find joy in his pain and fear?

“And what exactly is being discussed? Why were we- why was I pulled away from my room just to beat around the bush? What is going on?” The king cleared his throat and gave a very pointed look at his grandson, a look that would terrify anyone who didn’t know him, one that said ‘you won’t interrupt me or speak to me that way.’ Although Henry wasn’t afraid, he still clamped his mouth shut and let him continue.

“I received a very concerning and unexpected email today and to say I’m surprised and disappointed would be an understatement.” Henry’s anxiety started creeping up once again, hands shaking slightly but not enough for anyone to notice. He had a feeling he knew where this going and had no way to prepare for it. Alex noticed Henry’s mannerisms and his heart broke at not being able to console him but he also wanted his own comfort at the way this interaction was heading.

“The emails consisted of pictures with the two of you….together in a way that was clear that there was more than friendship. I will not go into detail because quite frankly I’m disturbed and concerned for the well-being of this country.” Henry gulped and cleared his throat. “I-I can explain. I can- there’s a-a logical reasoning for-“ Phillip laughed sharply and stood up. “Logical reasoning? Really Henry? You’re going to come up with some magical way to explain being a homo?” Bea gasped and raised her hand up to cut him off, hand slicing through the tension almost. “Watch yourself Phillip.”

Alex clenched his fists at his sides, sitting in silence because he knew he could not speak unless spoken to especially in presence of the king. So he kept his mouth shut and just waited until they were alone in their own darkness again.

King James raised his own hand up to silence the room which clearly had an affect because everyone went quiet and Phillip sat down again. “You have to understand the seriousness of it all. I am not trying to make you feel unwelcome or hated but this will affect our Legacy tremendously if actions aren’t taken immediately.” Henry gaped, eyes wide in disbelief. “Not trying to make me feel hated yet starting off with ‘disgusted’ and ‘disturbed’. Is this why you told me your story about the girl you snuck around with? To tell me I’m making a mistake. Except replace a girl with a guy and then tell me I’m sinning, correct? Well sorry to tell you, your royal highness but I’m in love with Alex and I will not have you tell me what I feel or how I should act.”

“Henry! I will not have you disrespect me in any way, especially in my own home. I could not care less how you feel in this situation. This is me protecting the royal status and the country. So as of next week a news article will be released headlining your engagement to lady Delilah. A very respecting and presentable young woman.” Henry could very much at that moment hear his heart beating loudly in his chest and it was as if everything in him was shattering.

Bea stood up immediately and raised her voice, not caring how rude she sounded. “No. You can’t do that! That’s so wrong and cruel. They’re in love grandpa. Can’t you see that!? Can’t you see past the legacy and look at how much you’re hurting Henry?” King James looked up at bea with disbelief but before he could respond, Phillip opened his mouth once again. “Can’t you see how selfish Henry is being towards this country? Don’t you see if Henry, the prince of wales came out as gay, how badly that would affect all of us? Open your fucking eyes, Beatrice.” She scoffed and licked her lips which is what she did when she was about shut someone down with her compelling arguments.

“No you open yours, you twat! How is he being selfish? By being in love with a man? If it was a woman, no one would even think about this conversation. In fact they would congratulate him and ask him how he was gonna propose it if it was even serious.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled, zero humor in his tone. “Yeah because our legacy is a guy or girl marrying the opposite sex to continue the line of royalty. To have children and keep it going because that’s what has happened for centuries and I’ll be damned if he ruins that just to have a sliver of whatever the fuck this even is.”

“Silence!” The kings voice boomed throughout the wide room, echoing off the walls. Everyone looked at him, waiting for his next words. “No matter what anyone says about this…situation. My words are final and this discussion is over. Henry and Alex, I’m giving you one last night to say goodbye and then Alex,” Alex looked up after staring at his lap the entire time, heart beating and an overwhelming feeling taking over his entire body. “You will be escorted back to America on the first plane back to Washington tomorrow morning. Your family will be invited to the wedding to keep the peace aligned but as of tomorrow, your communication will cut off. So spend your last night however you please, truthfully I don’t care.” Phillip gawked at him and shook his head. “You can’t be serious. You’re gonna let them-“

“I do not remember speaking to you. It is my decision and final say of the matter. All of you are dismissed. And Henry, I will see you tomorrow to discuss the more prominent details in private.”

Henry’s eyes welled up with tears and he rushed out of the room, Alex quickly on his heels. “Henry. Henry slow down. Baby please.” He grabbed his arm and yanked him towards him but Henry shoved him away. “Stop Alex! You heard what he said! I can’t-I can’t do this. I can’t live without you. I-I. You’re my boyfriend. You’re my life. My happiness and now I’m going to be forced to marry someone I don’t even know. I won’t be able to see you for we-weeks.” He choked on the last word and grasped his chest. “I can’t-I can’t breathe.” His breathing became erratic and heavy, knees buckling. “Woah hey.” Alex caught him in the moment he was falling to the ground and just held him in the middle of the gigantic hallway, not a soul to be found. “Sweetheart you’ve having a panic attack. Listen to my voice, focus on your breathing, my love. I’ve got you. I always have. Just me and you. Me and you baby.” Although his own heart was breaking and he was on the verge of breaking down, he needed to be there for Henry.

Henry just sobbed into Alex’s shirt and held into him but started to take deep breaths and calm himself down slowly. “There you go. Just breathe.”

After a couple of minutes, Henry went silent and just laid their in Alex’s lap. The silence was needed even for just a moment to truly process everything that happened. “Alex I can’t lose you. You’re the only person who’s made me feel real.” Alex played with his hair and sniffled, a few tears of his own dropping. “I know…I feel the same about you. But I promise we will figure this out. I’ll talk to my mom and-and zhara tomorrow. We’ll fix this.” Henry sat up and wiped at his eyes before making eye contact with Alex. “How? How are you gonna fix this? This isn’t even your country.” Alex shrugged and looked away from him, not wanting Henry to see his red rimmed eyes. “I-I don’t know but I will.”

Henry placed his hand on Alex’s chin and forced him to look at him. “Oh darling.” He hugged him and they just held each other in silence. It was like that for a long time again before Henry spoke up again, this time a different tone overtook his voice. “If this is our last night together before we come up with a plan, can I ask one thing?” Alex pulled back to look at him and nodded. “Anything.” Henry shifted his eyes back and fourth across his face and placed a hand on his leg. “Make love to me.”

Alex stood up as soon as Henry finished the sentence and grabbed his hand to help him up. “I thought you’d never ask.” They practically ran back to Henry’s room and as soon as the door was locked and closed, their lips smashed together and hands moving all across each other. They backed up towards the bed and as soon as their clothes were off, alex pushed Henry onto to the bed and began lavishing his neck.

Moans and grunts filled the room as they made the most sensual love, knowing that tomorrow they wouldn’t be able to see or contact each other for weeks and possibly ever again. It was a blissful night and after going several rounds, they eventually fell next to each other, breathing heavily and skin glistening with sweat. “God that was amazing.” Alex said, intertwining their bodies together not caring how hot they were in the bed together, under the sheets. “Yeah it was.” Henry said in an almost whisper as if he was too afraid to even speak.

Alex looked over and saw tears streaming from his eyes. “Henry….” He shook his head and sobbed. “Don’t. Just please hold me. Don’t say anything.” Alex’s lip quivered and immediately he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him as close as possible, refusing to let go for even a moment. “Okay.” He said softly. Not another word was spoken for the rest of the night as they fell asleep crying and holding each other.

💜🤍

As the sun rose and shined through the velvet curtains once again, Henry and Alex were wrapped up in each other. Both awake but silent. They were just staring at each other, no a word to be spoken. There were no words needed as they knew what was going to happen soon. Alex would be put onto a plane and yanked away from henry, forced to stay on the sidelines while he watched his lover being forcefully wedded to a different person, from a different country.

None of it was fair and it was clear in the air the animosity that was building up as they waited. Small touches, soft kisses, and yet never any words. For there are many ways to say I love you to someone without so much as a peep. Love wasn’t always something that had to be said out loud. The best type of love was one that was obvious and never needing to be proven or talked about. It was just there. And that’s what they felt in that moment even though their lives were about to be turned upside down, ruined.

The knock on the door cause them to both jerk. Not out of being startled but because they both knew what that meant. The only thing they didn’t know is who would be standing on the other side. It could either be Phillip with a smirk on his face just ecstatic to send Alex back off to America and to torture and bully his brother into submission and into a life he never wanted. Or it would be bea, a sad look on her face not wanting this for either of them and not wanting to be the one to escort her brothers only source of true happiness of the premises. Thankfully when Henry went up to answer the door, it was bea. And although it didn’t make him feel better about any of it, she would at least show compassion and kindness throughout the whole process and for that he was thankful.

“Hey.” She said softly, a sadness in her voice that made him feel bad for her when he was the one who was hurting. “The plane is waiting. The king says it’s time to go…he insists that Alex leaves now so he can make plans with you. I’m so sorry Henry. None of this is fair. I tried to talk to him after you guys left but he wouldn’t hear it. I really tried.” He smiled a sad smile and hugged her tightly. “Thank you bea. I really appreciate that but it isn’t your fault. We’re gonna do everything we can to stop this. There has to be a way. I can’t lose him. Not now. Not after we just figured everything out.” Beatrice pulled back and rested her hands on his shoulders. “My dear brother, I swear on everything I will do everything to help you stop this. You’re not going to lose him. I know it’s gonna be hard to not see him or talk to him but it’ll all be worth it in the end.”

He nodded and sighed when he felt a pair of strong arms envelope him. Alex rested his head on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “She’s right baby. We will get through this.” Henry grabbed Alex’s hands that were crossed over his chest and brought them up to his lips to place a kiss. “I know.” He turned around to face Alex and bea stepped out to give them privacy.

“I love you.” Henry said, grazing his thumb over Alex’s cheek. Alex leaned into his touch and closed his eyes. “I love you so much.” When Alex opened his eyes again, Henry pulled away and with tears in his eyes, stepped out of the way of the doorway. “If you don’t leave now, I won’t be able to let you go.” Alex wanted to just post on his instagram right now but he knew he couldn’t, not without Henry being ready. He just wish he was because this could be solved but he understood the fear he felt and would never betray that.

He bit his lip to stop himself from crying and left the room, following bea out to where they had their private plane, of course they did. It was better than a public plane though, much safer without all those people. The loud engine was making it all too real and his nerves were screaming at him and he wanted to puke right in front of everybody but he composed himself. Before he reached the steps of the plane, he hugged bea and whispered in her ear. “Thank you for everything. Tell Henry not to give up and that I’m coming up with a plan. Tell him to wait for me and I’ll be here as soon as I can.” He felt bea nod and grip him tightly, a strength he didn’t know she had. “I will. I promise.” He pulled away and wiped a tear off of her face and smiled before he kissed her cheek and walked into the plane. He turned around to see if Henry was there but he wasn’t. He didn’t blame him though. It was hard enough to say goodbye already, watching him leave would be too hard.

He disappeared and sat at the back of plane, farthest away from prying ears and picked up his phone. He dialed the one person who he knew could fix any problem he had no matter how long it could. As it rang he thought of how he was going to go about explaining everything and how important this was to him that it be done as soon as possible. He heard the click of someone answering, a shuffle, a curse word, and then “alex? You okay?” He sighed and looked out the window as the plane took off back to America. “Zhara. I need your help.”

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #alex x henry #alex diaz #prince henry rwrb #princehenry #prince henry george edward james hanover stuart fox #henry and alex #taylor swift #speak now #taylors version #lgbtq #alex claremont diaz #firstprince #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez #fucking eyelashes

[welcometomyweird]

Somewhere Out There

The night sky has always been magical to me. I know all the science, but that's part of the magic for me. Yes, the moon only reflects the light of the sun and doesn't shine with its own, but it doesn't make it any less breathtaking when it's full and casting that light on a blanket of fresh snow. The light of stars that died thousands of years ago still shining down on us, twinkling like diamonds against a deep blue velvet sky.

The night sky also represents space. I am a lifelong Trekkie. "Space, the final frontier..." I think, because of my Star Trek fandom, that I have never questioned whether or not there is other life in our universe. It's not "if" they are out there for me. My questions have always been "where are they" and "who are they". And... as a very young child, I tried very hard to find out.

How, you ask? Brace yourself for some hard core dorkiness. My first attempts were by sending "psychic" messages. Well, I was 6 and when you're 6, sending "psychic" messages consists of squeezing your eyes shut as tight as you can and thinking really hard. I actually remember my mom catching me and asking what I was doing. I shushed her and told her I was trying to talk to the aliens.

Second method of attempted communication was through song. Music has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember and is one of the most universal languages on the planet. I thought that my "psychic" messages didn't get a response because of the language barrier. Maybe a song would get through. Even if they couldn't understand the words, maybe the melody and the emotion conveyed might make a connection. The first song I sang was "Somewhere Out There" from the animated film "An American Tail". Yeah, I know, but there was a method to my madness. I figured if I was trying to make contact with beings outside of my planet, there was likely another child somewhere else in the universe trying to do the same.

Third try was just music. I had been at a street fair where I paid 50 cents for a little cedar flute. I would sit on my back porch making up little tunes ans playing them into the night, hoping they would find their way to someone across the cosmos.

"Did any of that work?" Well, maybe... I can't be sure. There was something pretty traumatizing that happened when I was 10, but I will only be telling THAT story to Micah Hanks. (Hopefully, he checks his Twitter DMs because my email bounced back.) Be it suffice to say that if I was freaked about NOT seeing the Jersey Devil at 34, what I DID see at the age of 10 really messed me up. And that's assuming it actually did happen and wasn't just a very lucid dream.

I still feel very certain that there is extraterrestrial life. I am certain that they have visited. I just think people are wrong about why they're coming here. If they were going to attack us, they have had ample opportunity, so I don't believe they're a threat. They've also had plenty of opportunities to extend the olive branch and convey a message of peace and friendship, so that's not it either. No, I think they just like to watch. I think we're the trash reality show the rest of the universe watches. We're either a guilty pleasure or a scared straight program. Whatever the case, they go home feeling a lot better about themselves. You occasionally get a brave/crazy one who chooses to engage with us. That's where we get the now infamous "Tic-Tac" video. What's on that video isn't E.T.s taking aggressive action. It's intergalactic punk kids drag racing with our Navy pilots. Who knows? Maybe they watched "Top Gun" and thought it looked like fun and wanted to try it themselves.

And so ends this foray into Forteana. So, I've done cryptids and E.T.s. I guess ghost stories are next. You're in luck there. I have way more of those. (I live in New England!)

#uap #extraterrestial life #micah hanks

[tippedbykreider]

it’s all coming back to me | c. kreider (i)

Word Count: 8.2k Warnings: Slow burn, exes to friends to lovers, relationship breakdown, swearing, alcohol mention. Author’s Note: So many of you have been requesting for this to be brought back! The consensus was that you’d rather have it in smaller chunks so I’ll be posting each new part weekly and they’ll come in between 6 & 9k per chapter. Not only is it more manageable for you guys but it also gives me chance to keep writing new content for it 💖 There is a playlist for this fic which I posted separately, it gives a chronological feel for their relationship and their story. This has been a tonne of fun to write so far and I can’t wait to tell the rest of their story. Summary: Chris Kreider x Reader Insert. They say that all good things come to an end, that you can never have too much of a good thing, but when Chris decided to end your relationship you wondered how anything could ever be good again. A chance meeting 9 years later drags up all those feelings you both thought you were done with. Can you work through your hurt and pain to see what it is that Chris is trying to show you? Or are some things better left forgotten? Tagging: @danglesnipecelly - this girl deserves a writing credit on this thing because she’s pushed me to keep going with this and her input and advice has been invaluable. Thank you for all the support on this one, K 💖

*Italics indicates a flashback*

The notion of fresh starts is often something that is associated with the arrival of the New Year. People use the turning of the calendar to turn over a new leaf, to learn a new skill, to challenge themselves to be better than the year before and to let go of all that was and focus on all that will be. There’s something inherently magical about a new beginning, a fresh start; sometimes it’s the excitement of what might lie ahead and other times it’s the comfort in knowing that you can seize the opportunity be whoever you want to be and to reinvent yourself. It’s the line in the sand and the final full stop at the end of the chapter and it’s the anticipation of picking up the pen and writing those first few words on the new page.

For Chris Kreider this feeling wasn’t one that was brought about by the strike of the clock at midnight on New Year’s Eve because while the date on the calendar changed and while he still spent the next couple of weeks dating things with the wrong year just like everybody else, it still often felt like nothing really changed for him. Chris could only feel like the year was truly coming to an end when the first petals of spring exploded like fireworks in a symphony of technicolour blooms and he found himself giving the locker-room clearout interview. That was the end of the year, the full stop, the line and the warmer days and the balmy nights would give him the opportunity to decompress ready for the turning of the page come September when his focus would once again turn back to hockey.

Chris loved New York; that much was undeniably true. He loved the vibrancy of the city but he also loved the way that he could melt into the background or enjoy the feeling of quiet solace his apartment gave him. It was oftentimes a bolthole, an oasis of peace during an otherwise hectic few months between September and May but the end of the hockey season and the arrival of summer had him seeking the cry of gulls on the breath of a gentle breeze and that crisp, purifying sea air that always managed to fill his lungs differently. Rowayton wasn’t far, a little over an hour on a good day but with its coastal Connecticut charm, slower pace and pretty houses, especially the ones that overlooked the water, it was a world away from NYC and exactly what Chris needed to reset and recharge.

It was a Saturday morning in mid-July and for the first time in a long time, longer than Chris could recall, he allowed himself to sleep in. His bedroom window had been open all night and the welcome breeze snaked through the slats in the blinds and carried on it the faintest smell of salt and sunshine. Chris stretched his muscles in big pulls around the bed before he settled on his back and inhaled deeply, the fresh air clearing his mind and filling his body as the last remnants of sleep slipped away on the exhale of breath. Imbued with energy, he climbed out of bed and pulled the blinds all the way up, flooding the bedroom with beautiful incandescence born out of a cloudless sky. He didn’t make his bed though, not yet, because while he had left his room and was padding down the stairs, he had every intention of returning to the still warm sheets to read a chapter or two of the book on his nightstand with a fresh cup of coffee, a cinnamon and raisin bagel, that invigorating coastal air and the oceanscape outside as the soundtrack.

One chapter turned into two and two became three and before Chris knew it, the sun was high in the sky and lunchtime beckoned. It was shaping up to be a beautiful summer day in Rowayton and Chris thought it would be a crying shame to spend his time at home, even if the page-turner he’d held in his hands moments ago seemed incredibly appealing out on the back deck overlooking the water. It was then he decided to take advantage of that gorgeous sunshine, take in the scenery and stretch his legs by going for a walk into town to pick up a few essentials at Rowayton Market. For all it was a small, it contained everything he would need to keep him going for a few more days until he’d finally need to drive into Norwalk to do a more substantial grocery shop, something that he’d admittedly been putting off. The Market also had some of the best baked goods and fresh coffee in the village and if you asked Chris it would be pretty rude to not take advantage – it was right there, after all, and Chris never could say no to a still-warm Danish and Americano.

He walked slower than he usually would, a conscious effort on his part due to the fact that his legs seemed to want to go into an auto-pilot primed for life in New York City. He was in no rush though, he never was whenever he came here and even though it was a route he’d walked hundreds of times before, and one he would walk hundreds more, Chris still wanted to soak in all the pretty trees and shrubs that were nestled in amongst those classical New England style homes, all shingled exteriors and white, gridded windows in soft muted colours that mirrored the coastal landscape of the village. It was a world away from the brick and the concrete and the bright lights of the city and while Chris loved all of those things about New York and loved wandering through the streets of Tribeca and Soho, getting lost in bookstores and hole-in-the-wall cafes, he also loved the sand, shale and stars and those were things that he just couldn’t find in the city that never slept.

There were quite a few people out and about, Chris noted, most of them he recognised as being residents with their friendly smiles and waved greetings, but there were a handful of tourists too; there always was on weekends during the summer. Not that Chris minded, of course, because for all the village was a popular escape for those seeking a break from the metropolitan life of the nearby hub of cities, it never succumbed to the all-too-often inevitability of commercialisation and still managed to hold on to its peaceful charm, despite it not quite being the quaint fishing village it once was back in the days before the Civil War.

It was one of the reasons why Chris found himself retreating here in the summer and not making the trip back home to spend the off-season in Massachusetts. He would go back to Boxford for a couple of weeks, naturally, because family was something that had always been important to Chris and he would never miss an opportunity to spend time with his parents and sister, but if he had the choice between spending his entire summer being bitten to death by mosquitoes back home (his father always did say that they were the town bird, after all) or feeling the gentle kiss of the ocean breeze against his skin, there was no real contest. Rowayton would always win.

The main street through town was busier, which wasn’t exactly unexpected and if anything it only seemed to add to the charm of the village. Chris decided to head straight to the market to pick up his groceries, if only to facilitate the Danish eating in a more timely-fashion. He picked up a basket as he entered and proceeded to add only the essentials he’d need to get him through the next couple of days. He’d pay for his shopping before going to the coffee bar, because trying to pack his reusable grocery bag with a full takeout cup was a mistake he’d made once before and was sure to never repeat again.

With his groceries purchased and bags packed in such a way that the couple of bottles of wine he’d picked up wouldn’t clink together when he walked (it was three to be exact but after seeing the selection of cured meats, cheeses and olives available he thought it’d be a crime if they didn’t find their way into his basket to come home with him, and if there was cheese there had to be wine), Chris made his way to the coffee counter situated near the Market entrance.

*

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d taken a trip away without the company of anyone else but the last couple of months at work had been incredibly stressful, with projects seemingly coming out of your ears and while you knew your mother had been worried by your suggestion of taking off somewhere alone for the weekend, she also knew better than to fight you on something you’d quite clearly already set your mind to. If you were being completely honest, your plans for the first full weekend you’d had off in months would have consisted of not setting foot outside of your apartment or engaging in any kind of unnecessary conversation had you decided to stay home in Hartford, at least this way you’d be getting some fresh air and the sun on your face.

It was just shy of a two hour drive down to Rowayton, which had the dual benefit of being close enough to home that it didn’t feel like a huge trek just to get there, but also being far enough away that you would be a complete stranger in this town and could take the time to decompress and recharge while blending into the background, and the place was pretty to boot. You’d found a little studio Airbnb not too far away in South Norwalk, figuring that you’d only be using it as somewhere to sleep as you’d planned on spending as much of your time as possible being right by that ocean with the wind in your hair and the warm sun on your skin.

That’s how you’d planned on spending your Saturday afternoon, sat on the sand of Bayley Beach with a good book and a cup of coffee. It was set to be a balmy day, with temperatures sitting in the mid-eighties and the last thing you wanted to be doing in the heat was any amount of excessive walking. So with that in mind, you’d spent your morning exploring the village and taking in the sights and sounds. The gentle protest of your stomach told you it was lunchtime before you’d even taken the opportunity to glance down at your watch and a quick Google search pointed you in the direction of somewhere to get that all important cup of coffee and a small bite to eat.

Rowayton Market didn’t look like much from the outside in the sense that it was a little on the petite side, but the reviews were great and the coffee was allegedly some of the best in the village and that was good enough for you. You were greeted with the smell of freshly baked goods and ground coffee, which was welcoming enough before you even saw the bright smile of the girl behind the counter. Your eyes drifted over the selection of pastries, each one more delicious looking than the last and you knew that you were going to have a hard time choosing just one. You knew you’d have to make a decision, though, suddenly aware of the small line that had seemingly materialised right out of thin air behind you and while you were sure that these people were more accustomed to a slower pace of life, the city girl in you, who was so used to living life in the fast lane, didn’t want to keep these good people waiting while you deliberated. You’d go with your usual and that would be that.

Chris’s attention was fixed out of the large glass windows at the front of the shop, watching as people milled in the street and went about their daily business. It was something he quite often did, whether he was here or back home in New York. There was something oddly soothing about watching the world go by, he thought, and occasionally he’d catch something that would quirk his lips up into a smile, like the sight before him now of a rather large gull in the process of committing larceny against what he could only assume was an unsuspecting tourist. Their sandwich was held high above their head while their free hand attempted to shoo the bird away with little success. He chuckled quietly to himself then, not least because the gulls seemed to get more brazen with each year that passed and he was sure that one of these days he’d see someone’s lunch get snatched right out of their hand by the feathered menaces.

Chris had no reason at all to believe as he stood in that line that everything was about to change. Why would he? The day had started like any other. He’d picked up his groceries in this store more times than he could count, he’d waited in a line just like this one for his coffee and Danish and yet, in that moment, something as innocuous as a woman’s voice would bring feelings that he thought he was done with, and memories he thought had strayed out of his mind for good, flooding back to the surface. But it wasn’t just any woman’s voice, no, it wasn’t as detached and neutral as that. It was your voice; a voice he hadn’t heard in nine years and it was something as simple as a coffee order, an order that he now knew to have remained the same since the day you’d first met at Boston College all those years ago, that blew the dam wide open and every word the two of you had ever spoken, from day one to the last thing you ever said to him, came rushing back.

The sound of Chris’s voice calling your name was something you never thought you’d hear out loud again. It was a voice you’d only heard in your dreams for many years after he walked out of your life, but even that had faded beyond memory to where you weren’t a hundred percent certain that you’d be able to remember what it sounded like anymore. And yet, in the middle of a tiny supermarket in Rowayton, you heard him clear as day with his tongue rolling around the syllables of your name with the same fondness, even after all this time and it was like you’d never forgotten the sound at all.

*

Autumn was beginning to make her presence felt in Boston. The palette on campus had shifted from a spectrum of vivid greens to shades of deep russet, amber, ochre and vermillion; but even above the changing leaves, the turning of the calendar brought a slight chill to the air that had you reaching for your jacket on a morning as you left your dorm.

Today was no different. The temperature had dropped again overnight as November creeped ever closer and it was chilly enough that you had to draw your coat tighter around you as you walked across campus towards class. Your brisk pace had bought you enough time to make a stop at the coffee stand just outside of Campion where your first class of the day was being held. There was a decent selection on offer, but it wasn’t enough to sway you from ordering your usual.

You rooted around your backpack for your wallet while the barista prepared your coffee and grabbed you your cinnamon roll, unaware of the new presence to your right, before handing over the money and taking the coffee and pastry bag from the young man’s hands.

“Coffee and cinnamon roll, eh? Now that’s the breakfast of champions.”

You turned your head towards the source of the voice, lips quirking into a small smile at the sight of the stranger beside you who looked to be not much older than you were, incredibly tall and broad for his apparent age but not for his height. He was grinning at you with a fullness that made his eyes crinkle at the corners and gave him a unique kind of softness.

“My mom would disagree,” you replied with a smirk. “If she found out I was having this for breakfast she’d be in her car so fast and dragging my ass back to Hartford.”

He laughed at that, loud and bright with his head tipped back slightly before running a hand through his dark brown hair that was shorter on the sides but had the faintest hint of a curl at the longer strands on top.

“I won’t tell her if you don’t.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not telling her,” you grinned as you swung your backpack over one shoulder. “So looks like you’re sworn to secrecy.”

You studied him for a brief moment, with the way he was still grinning at you and his eyes that seemed to sparkle behind his dark lashes before your brain gently reminded you that you, in fact, had somewhere you needed to be. “Well, I hate to impose a vow of silence on you like some sort of mafia boss and then immediately split but I uh I gotta head to class.”

“No problem at all and hey, your secret is safe with me. In fact, I’ve forgotten already. What were we talking about?”

There it was again, that smile of his that made you want to stay rooted right where you were standing and look at it all day, but class beckoned and so you gave an awkward wave of your hand and a soft laugh before you turned and headed into the building behind you without another glance back. If you had you’d have seen the stranger from the coffee stand watch until you’d disappeared from view, with that smile still on his face.

This little routine of yours would continue over the course of the next few weeks. Every Tuesday morning, at around 8:45am, you’d find yourself stood at that coffee stand outside of Campion to get your coffee and cinnamon roll, and every Tuesday morning, at around 8:46am, the tall stranger would appear beside you with his kind eyes and his bright smile. You’d exchange a ‘hello’ and a friendly grin and you’d laugh more often than not too while you made pleasant small talk before you both said your goodbyes and went to your respective classes, though you would always leave first and he would watch you go until you’d disappeared into the building.

It was mid-November, now, and the campus of Boston College was firmly in autumn’s frigid grasp. The temperatures continued to drop, seemingly overnight, which had you bundled up in your hat and scarf and the trees had shed their branches of leaves, crunching underfoot with the slight frost as you made your way towards Campion. Your hands were shoved deep into your coat pockets to ward off the gnawing chill and you were looking forward to being able to warm them around your coffee cup.

You approached the stand as normal, rooting through your backpack for your wallet ready to order.

“Hey!”

You looked up, your features fixed in a state of mild confusion while you looked for the source of the voice you recognised but couldn’t quite place. It was then you saw him though, all bright eyed and bushy tailed with a medium coffee and pastry bag held up in one of his large hands as if on display. He was grinning at you and cocked his head, beckoning you over with the wordless gesture.

“Hey, yourself,” you smiled as you approached. “What’s this then?” You tilted your head slightly at the items in his hand as he offered them to you.

“Breakfast of champions.”

Your eyebrow quirked as you took the coffee from him before taking a tentative sip, smiling while the warm liquid slid down your throat.

“You got my coffee order right.”

“It wasn’t hard,” he smirked. “You order the same thing every week and if you open that little paper bag I think you’ll find a cinnamon roll in there.”

Sure enough, as you opened the bag you were greeted with the sight of a perfectly formed cinnamon roll and you couldn’t help the grin that sparked at your lips and spread the full width of your face.

“I don’t order the same thing every week.”

“You do,” he replied with a laugh. “Every Tuesday for the last 5 weeks you’ve come to this coffee stand and ordered a medium Americano with half and half and a cinnamon roll and every Tuesday for the last 5 weeks I’ve been meaning to ask you your name.”

Your face flushed warm at that, not only at his words but at the sure little smile he was giving you and the way his eyes were sparkling. In fact, now that you were really looking at him properly, you were knocked back a bit by the perpetual kindness that seemed to rest in them and you couldn’t help but notice how they really were the perfect shade of hazel, like a forest with a deep bark heart surrounded by leaves that were every shade of green. You’d been quiet a little too long though and so you took a settling sip of coffee to give you enough time to find your voice again and tell him your name.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled as he offered you his hand, which was large and warm as you shook it.

“And who should I thank for the coffee?” you asked.

His smile grew into a grin then, the kind that you’d noticed over the course of the last few weeks that made his eyes crinkle and happiness radiate from him, before simply replying:

“Chris.”

*

“Chris?”

It was as if time had stood still in that little Market in Rowayton, where your surroundings become a still-frame and there’s nothing but static in your ears. You’d often thought about what it would have been like to see him again. Those first couple of years after he’d left Boston College had you imagining all kinds of scenarios, much like the one you were in right now where you’d bump into each other in a supermarket or a pharmacy, anywhere really, but now that you were living it, seeing it, breathing it, there was nothing you could have conjured up in your imagination that would have prepared you for what it would really feel like to see him again. If you were to be completely honest, you were glad that your coffee and cinnamon roll were still on the top of the counter because you were certain that they would have fallen right out of your hands and onto the Market floor.

He abandoned his position in the line then, as if you speaking his name was a call to him, and maybe it was, on some level, but the truth and simplicity of it was that you were suspended in a state of pure disbelief and even in the short time it took for him to close the distance between you both, you were still yet to move and fix your features to something more neutral.

“Hey.”

It was a simple greeting that he gave you and logically you knew that there wasn’t really any tangible meaning behind that single word he spoke and yet there was something about the look in his eyes and the warmth in the smile he gave you.

“It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you replied, finally finding your voice. “You look, you look good.”

It wasn’t a lie either, he did look good. The tall college boy you remembered, who was just a little too slight for his height, had filled out; you could tell that just from the way the fabric of his t-shirt stretched across the broad plains of his chest and strained around his biceps, and he was no longer clean shaven, which was something that had always made him look quite baby-faced. Instead he was sporting a neatly trimmed goatee and while he had kept his hair short on the sides, just like you’d remembered it, it was longer on the top than it had been in college and the curls were sweeping in a way that reminded you of the waves just beyond the Market door. He looked older, yes, which is exactly what you would have expected in the nine years since you’d last seen him but his eyes were still exactly the same, sparkling and full of mischief , yet still soft, perhaps even softer than before on account of the faint lines around them drawn by time’s fair hand.

“So do you,” he grinned. “You cut your hair.”

“I did,” you looked down as your face flushed with warmth, unsure exactly what you were supposed to say to him.

It was something you’d thought about during those imagined scenarios where you’d magically bump into each other again and you’d thought about all of the things that you would say to him. You would tell him about how much you’d cried when he left you behind to live out his boyhood dream and how angry you were that he didn’t want you to be a part of that, how it felt like all the plans you’d ever talked about were nothing more than empty words and how hurt that had made you feel. You felt like you at least deserved that, especially given that it was never just a casual fling between you both. After all, you’d been practically inseparable for two years. You’d been inseparable ever since he’d said those three words that mean so much. But now that he was here in front of you, all those words that had swirled around in your head and in your chest like a hurricane for so long, dissipated into nothing and you found yourself clutching at straws to find something, anything, to say.

Chris could sense this though. Of course he could because he was Chris and he had always been so in tune with you and your emotions and the fact that he was still able to read you so well was both a comfort and a knife in your chest, and while he internally grimaced at the fact he was having to fall back on using small talk between you both, he felt like it was what you needed in the moment. He wouldn’t expect things to go back to how they were after all this time, he couldn’t, and so he started with something simple, something he knew you would be able give him an answer to.

“So, what brings you to sunny Rowayton?”

“I could ask you the same question,” you replied.

“Ah,” Chris grinned, trying to keep the mood light. “See I asked you first and also, I live here so therefore the ‘question answering’ responsibility falls back to you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, at both his words and the silly little expression he was wearing and despite all the years that sat between you both like a void and all of your hurt that was held within it, it all seemed to briefly melt away and in that moment it was like you were back at that little coffee stand outside of Campion.

“I didn’t realise this was an interrogation. Wait is this one of those little weird cult towns? Should I be worried?”

Chris knew by the little smirk you were wearing that you meant no malice behind your words and so he responded by sucking in air through his teeth before speaking again with one of those smiles that went all the way up to his eyes.

“Watch it, Pickle.”

Your stomach fell right into your shoes in that moment, that name he used only for you slipped from his lips like it was the easiest thing in the world for him to do, like he’d never stopped calling you it and like it hadn’t been nine years since you’d last spoke a word to one another. Chris knew all this of course and he didn’t need to rely on intuition either because he could see every emotion written all over your face.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly on the exhale of a breath. “I um.. Force of habit, I guess.”

“It’s okay,” you muttered, not quite meeting his eyes. “Although not exactly ‘habit’, it’s been how long?”

Chris winced at that, the reality of how he left things between you both slapping him in the face and he was filled with the guilt that he’d spent almost a decade pushing out of his chest and shoving into the darkest corner of his memory where he would hope it would rest undisturbed. He knew that you were angry at him for leaving things the way he did, how could you not be? After all, he was the one who had broken your heart and left you in Boston, but it was never as simple as that, even back then there was so much he should have said but that was something he wouldn’t realise until much later when it was too late to repair the damage. The thinly veiled hurt in your eyes and the way your mouth was downturned was demonstrative of that fact.

“I know,” he all but whispered. “It just-“

“It’s fine, Chris. Can we just forget about it? Please?”

He nodded, watching with a quiet kind of sadness on his features as you turned to finally pick your coffee and cinnamon roll up off the counter before he cleared his throat softly to continue speaking.

“You never did say what brought you into town.”

You took a sip of coffee to give yourself long enough to settle the thundering in your chest before answering him, because for all your heart felt like it was about to burst from all the hurt you’d managed to hide away up until now, there was also a weird sense of nostalgia that came with seeing him and hearing his voice again, and even though he’d shattered your heart completely when he decided he no longer wanted you in his life, your mother had raised you right and you knew the proper thing to do was to indulge him in a little small talk, even if for nothing more than old time’s sake.

“Just here for the weekend,” you replied. “Work has been nuts lately and I needed some time away from home.”

Chris shuffled on his feet for a moment as you spoke while his eyes darted between you and the door that would lead to the outside world and the possibility of the two of you parting once more. It was an unexpected pull that he felt in his chest at that thought, you reappearing in his life out of the blue only to slip out of it just as suddenly by doing something as simple as walking out of that supermarket back out into the wide world. For nine years he’d thought about where you were, what you were doing, if you were okay, if you were happy and with each year that passed without seeing your face or hearing your voice, he’d resigned himself to the fact that you were lost to him, drifting out there in the seas of life never to see you again. He didn’t know why you’d suddenly come back to him now, whether by some stroke of luck or twist of fate, although Chris couldn’t have cared less which one it was. All he cared about was the fact that you were here at all and it was an opportunity that he was sure he wasn’t going to waste. He didn’t even know for certain that you would want to give him any of your time after what had happened when he left Boston, but he wanted to at least give you what he should have all those years ago and that was an explanation and an opportunity for you to tell him how his actions had made you feel.

“Hey, what are you up to this afternoon?”

“Not much,” you shrugged. “I was just going to sit on Bayley Beach and enjoy the nice weather.”

“Would you mind some company? No pressure, of course, I understand if you… I understand if you’d rather not want to spend any time with me.”

You exhaled then and Chris’s shoulders visibly sagged, bracing himself for your polite refusal, but your response was not one that he was expecting and truthfully, it wasn’t one that you had expected either.

“Honestly?” you started, getting swept up in the nostalgia of seeing him again before the rational part of your brain could catch up. “That would be nice.”

“Great,” he smiled in what you could see was pure relief. “Do you mind if I grab a coffee before we head out?”

“Sure,” you replied. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

You headed out the door and were sure to stand where Chris could see you, knowing him well enough to realise that he’d be worrying, at least on some level, that you’d slip off into the crowd. You’d never do that to him, of course, even after everything, because while he had broken your heart, he was also the first person you’d ever truly loved and when you’d put the pieces back together, you couldn’t help but keep a part of him wrapped up amongst the tape and string holding those pieces together while you healed. It was in doing that that you understood that he would always have a special place in your heart and honestly? You were kind of okay with that because while the ending hadn’t exactly been perfect, the two years you’d spent together were and you wouldn’t have changed that time for anything.

*

You weren’t sure what exactly had possessed you to let Chris talk you into venturing off campus and out in the early-February snow to get burgers at Eagle’s Deli but you were cursing those sparkling eyes and that roguish grin of his for wearing down your sensibilities as you righted yourself after what felt like the hundredth near-fall. It was slushy underfoot, the kind that’s a twisted ankle or sprained knee waiting to happen and while you’d dressed weather appropriately in your winter boots and heavy parka, you were still very newborn lamb-like in your movements which was amusing Chris to no end.

“Come on, slowpoke,” he called from up ahead as he grinned at you over his shoulder.

“Not all of us can be hockey prodigies and thrive in this kind of inclement weather,” you grumbled, shuffling slowly so as not to slip.

Chris laughed as he came back towards you with confident and purposeful steps, surprising you when he offered his arm for you to loop yours through.

“Now, I’m no expert in geography or meteorology but it snows in Hartford, no?”

He was grinning at you, the kind of grin that you had to fight with every fibre of your being not to reciprocate because you’d already committed to your grumpy act and you couldn’t have him thinking he’d cracked you already, even if he, in fact, had.

“Yes,” you stressed. “But I don’t make a habit of going out in it to get burgers like a crazy person.”

The cackle you received from him in reply was loud and a little wild and you couldn’t help but be completely captivated by the way his cheeks were ruddy from the cold and the snowflakes clinging to the curls on top of his head and long eyelashes. Tuesday morning coffees with him outside of Campion before class had turned into coffees in actual cafes during free periods and getting lunch together. It was even dragging your body out into the cold to the Alumni Stadium with your blanket and your thermos to watch Chris play with the BC Eagles because you couldn’t say no to that damn smile and those damn eyes and even now, as you looked at him taking in the scenery along the Chestnut Hill Reservoir pathway, you knew that they were going to be the death of you.

“It’s really pretty along here,” he spoke, more quietly than before; softer too. “You wouldn’t think we were in the middle of Boston.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice walk,” you agreed before shooting him a smirk and a look. “Would be nice in the spring sunshine too.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it, Little Miss Chilly.”

“I don’t know what you have against being warm, Kreider. Warm is good, warm is nice-“

You shrieked as your feet went out from under you, courtesy of a patch of black ice hidden under slushy snow and you squeezed your eyes shut in preparation for the impact of your ass hitting the cold, hard ground. But it never came.

“It’s okay,” Chris spoke reassuringly, one hand tight around your bicep while his other arm was curled around your waist, holding you upright. “I’ve got you.”

You opened your eyes then to be met with Chris’s looking right at you, all moss and bark and warm. He was smiling at you but it was different to the easy grin he usually wore around you, this was softer somehow and all rational thought was replaced by one of those monkeys playing the cymbals. For the briefest of seconds, and for reasons completely unknown to you, the monkey tried to take the wheel and the idea of kissing him right there, in the middle of the pathway that had made an attempt on your life, flashed into your head.

Maybe it was the snow and how perfect and picturesque the scene around you felt? Maybe it was the fact he’d just saved you from slipping? But the reality of it was that those eyes and that smile held some sort of power over you that you couldn’t yet fully understand. You shook your head quickly, if only to take back control of the situation before you did something more embarrassing than almost falling on your ass.

“Thanks,” you muttered as you regained your composure. “This damn pathway.”

“I’ve got an idea,” Chris grinned as he turned so his back was to you and stooped slightly. “Hop on.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“I never joke about piggy-backs,” he replied in a faux solemn tone with the face to match. “Come on, we’ll get you to the Deli in one piece one way or another.”

And that was how you ended up with your arms looped around Chris’s shoulders and his strong hands holding the backs of your legs as he carried you on his back to Eagle’s Deli.

Not twenty minutes later, the pair of you were shuffling into a booth as you shed your coats, gloves and scarves, Chris grinning at you while you blew on your fingers in an attempt to restore warmth into them.

“See, told you I’d get you here in one piece.”

You scoffed at him and shot a playful glance across the table separating you both.

“You’re not human, that is the only explanation for how you’re able to walk in that,” you nodded towards the window where the snow was still falling to illustrate your point before continuing, “and not fall flat on your face.”

“Or my ass,” he added with a grin.

“Hey, that never actually happened!”

Chris’s face split into an even bigger smile at your little protest and the pout that had formed on your lips and while the gentle teasing between you was simply a part of the dynamic of your friendship, Chris would have been lying if he didn’t admit that the reason he did it so often was because you always looked so adorable trying to rebut him.

“No, you’re right. It didn’t,” he mused with a smirk, not needing to remind you that it was him who had come to your rescue judging from the unimpressed look you were throwing his way.

“All I’m saying is that we could’ve just gone to Hillside for lunch.”

“But the burgers here are superior,” he countered, smiling at you. “And you got to enjoy a beautiful walk in the snow with me so who’s the real winner he- mmpf!”

Chris was cut off by your damp mitten hitting his face, brows knitting into a slight frown before laughing at the proud grin you wore at the accuracy of your throw.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he said with mock hurt.

“Maybe I’m not a very nice person.”

“I don’t believe that for one second,” he replied, but there was no teasing in his tone this time, only the kind of sincerity that had your face flushing warm and had you reaching for the menu to hide behind under the pretence of looking at the choices available.

He couldn’t help but smile at the awkwardness with which you were trying and failing to hide from him but soon joined you in picking up a menu and perusing it, despite already knowing what he was going to order.

It was a few moments before the waitress came over and while neither of you spoke the silence between you both wasn’t exactly awkward even though Chris knew there was something about his last words that had had some kind of effect on you. He was right, of course, because despite the fact that you’d had hold of this menu for a good couple of minutes already, you hadn’t actually looked at a single thing on it even though you’d made such a show of doing just that and now that Chris had ordered, a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake, the waitress was looking at you expectantly. Unable to form any kind of rational thought under that kind of pressure, you found yourself simply saying “same” and soon enough it was just you and Chris at the table once more.

Chris was looking at you like he had something he wanted to say and the unreadable expression on his face had you feeling somewhat uneasy for reasons you hadn’t quite ascertained but probably understood on some level if you let yourself think about it for more than a second. He could feel the nervous energy radiating from you though and so rather than pursue his current train of thought, he picked a topic of conversation that was much safer and knew you’d be comfortable with: school.

You talked about your classes and upcoming assignments while he listened intently and you returned the favour while he spoke earnestly about hockey and his own academic workload. It was so easy to settle into a natural rhythm with Chris whenever you talked, as if you’d been having conversations like these for years when in fact it had only been a few months of knowing him and a few weeks of meeting up like this. None of that seemed to really matter though, not when the conversation was good and the chemistry felt right and especially not when it was clear that you were both on the same page when it came to your friendship. There was something else there though, something that was beyond being purely platonic, that much was becoming crystal clear and yet despite the ease in which it was to talk to him about literally anything else, there was something that had you stumbling over the thought of bringing it up.

You were saved from falling down that particular rabbit hole by the reappearance of the waitress, two burgers that were big enough to have your eyes popping out of your head in her hands. Chris chuckled from behind his milkshake at the look of disbelief on your face as your burger was set down in front of you before he reached for the bottle of ketchup between you both. You took the top of your burger bun off, nose immediately wrinkling at the sight of four pickle slices resting on top of the lettuce and tomato.

“Ugh, I forgot to ask for no pickles.”

Chris looked up from where he was squirting ketchup onto his bun, his eyes meeting yours briefly as his face split into a grin.

“You’re not one of those people, are you?”

“Shut up,” you grumbled as you began to pick the offensive green menaces off your food and set them at the edge of your plate. “I like what I like.”

Chris reached across and began to transfer the pickles from your plate to his burger, smiling widely at you as he did so.

“Well, I might have found a solution to this particular pickle you find yourself in,” he chuckled at the exaggerated groan and roll of your eyes at the expense of his joke. “You see, I love pickles.”

“You love anything,” you countered. “You’re like a human dumpster.”

“Hurtful,” he replied as he clutched at his chest. “But also true so I’ll allow it.”

You picked up a fry from your plate and threw it at him, immediately filled with equal parts surprise and a strange sense of awe as he reflexively moved and caught it in his mouth.

“You really are a dumpster,” you grinned as you shook your head at the proud little smile he was giving you.

“I am, so how about you don’t ask for no pickles on your burgers and you just give ‘em to me instead?”

It was easy to agree to his proposal, not least because his logic actually made a lot of sense when you thought about it, but mostly because of the way his eyes were sparkling and the way his smile made you feel warm all over, like the falling snow and freezing air outside didn’t exist, like your fingers and toes hadn’t been numbed by the biting cold during your walk here, like there had only ever been sunshine. It was also why you’d agreed to let him carry you back through the snow to your dorm, his large hands hooked around the backs of your thighs and your arms draped over his shoulders much like during the walk to the diner. You’d protested initially, of course, not wanting to burden Chris or put you both at risk of an injury due to the slippery conditions, but he wasn’t about to be convinced otherwise and remained unperturbed by the weather, gently reminding you that he had in fact got you to the diner in one piece in the first instance at your objections.

Truthfully, despite the mild embarrassment you felt at your complete ineptitude when it came to walking on ice, you couldn’t help but be more than a little impressed at Chris’s sheer strength. You wondered then, about how hard he must work in the gym to develop such a strong core because while you knew from first-hand experience how slippery it was underfoot, he didn’t falter once throughout the entire walk home and with the way he was talking amiably about his favourite places in the city he called home, and how his hands were holding your legs so surely and securely, you felt safe as houses with your chest pressed into his back – even with your thick coats and layers of winter clothing between you.

He walked with you on his back right up to the entrance of your dorm, setting you down carefully on the pathway that looked to have been newly shovelled before he turned to face you, his cheeks once again ruddy from the cold and your walk home.

“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’ twice in one day,” he grinned, sucking air in through his teeth and shaking his head slightly. “But didn’t I say that I’d get you home safely?”

“So what if you were right twice?” you rebutted with a playful nudge. “It’s not like it’s ever gonna happen again.”

“Watch it, Pickle. I’ll have you know that I’m right about a lot of things.”

“Pickle?” you barked out a laugh, watching as Chris walked slowly backwards down the path away from you with that smile still on his face. “What kind of a name is that? I don’t even like pickles.”

“I know,” he called out into the growing distance between you both. “But I do, remember?”

You shook your head at him, chuckling to yourself with a smile on your lips that mirrored his as you watched him.

“See ya Tuesday then, Trash Can!” you hollered.

His raucous cackle cut through the silent flurry as he continued to walk slowly backwards, his grin clear as day even through the falling snowflakes.

“Trash Can! Fucking, Trash Can! Man, you got some serious chirps, Pickle. Can you throw hands too? I mean, I know you suck at keeping your balance on the ice but we could use an enforcer! I could push you around?”

“Anytime, anywhere!” you laughed, watching him with a grin until he had waved his goodbye and turned away before he retreated into the heavy snow.

Part ii

#it's all coming back to me fic #my writing #chris kreider #chris kreider fic #chris kreider x reader #nhl fic #nhl writing #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey writing

[celticcrossanon]

I’m so sorry for the rant. I just needed to clear my head and got compelled to do it in your inbox. 🙇🏾‍♀️

Not a question just some thoughts. Sorry I’m spamming you so much. I just read your latest reading about the wanna be“tour” and all I can do is SMH. I think to some extent we saw this coming but they are dialing it up and expanding. Conscious humans would’ve called it quits by now. The Remembrance Day pap walk, Going to elementary schools, “donations”, writing letters like they are world leaders, etc. On one hand I can’t see this becoming much of a “thing”. I don’t think MM and Jarry will go on doing this for long unless they can get some Hollywood to pay attention and acknowledge them. I think another reason with the more public European Royals work so well in their media is because their countries are relatively small, like California and Texas are on the large side in comparison, am I right? So much can happen on one side of the country that I only hear of thanks to friends back in California. I can’t see these two visiting any farm in Montana as “royals” if ever. They got a Clinton and Perhaps more big names and “engagement” is to come (oh god 🤦🏾‍♀️) I’m sure they and the sugars are just loving it but it all looks, sounds and feels so incrediblly STUPID & ABSOLUTELY VAPID AND INSULTING. etc etc. I cannot stand entitled people and the fact that these two cut off, trashed, and demand from their own families for a fleeting moment in the spotlight is unfathomable. That’s a testimony to how strong narcissistic delusions can be. It must be the best high I could ever ask for. 🖤Im new to “Royal Watching” if you can call what I do ‘that’, so I don’t really care about all the other indiscretions. I don’t trust the media and I think it’s just the BRF turn in the hot sun to catch hell. See Andrew, see the Clintons and all the others. Whatever drama is going on with Charles, see the rest of big business. I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor and I still study on the disorder. Now here I am watching these two who make my skin craw, this train needs to SPEED UP . I think I’m just looking for a bit of JUSTICE in the world right now. Between this administration, COVID, my job and all my other drama (I’m sure we all have some, if not BLESS YOU and pass it on 🥺) I’m flabbergasted and a little sick in my stomach at watching yet another set of people be able to walk through life seemingly so unbothered. It’s like the world is closing in and I’m suffocating. 🖤Like, your telling me that just because he was born a Prince and she married him and found a way to have children they get to get away with all of this?. The entitlement, the lies, the forced Wokery, using heavy and important subjects like mental health and racism for a PR boost all just to get a⭐️ on the Hollywood walk of Fame? For a couple of royals they sure know how to dump cold water on ya, they are the epitome of LIFE ISNT FAIR. And I’m sure that all depends on perspective, for example; their sugars who must be going diabetic RN. THEY think they have suffered as well. Look at the Cambridge’s who have not put a foot out of place yet have to deal with these tantrums from all over their family. All families have drama and I can see how the Harkles and the rest could be a payback of the Firm and family as a whole. The Queen covered so much and never really saw that Henry and Andrew and god knows who else were set straight. Look what having so much privilege can do. But is there a limit, anywhere?🖤

🖤Anyways, another thought I had was, this could be the end for any thought of reunion. This Narcissist has worked her magic and this clueless tone deaf fool has really gone and done it. I was driving and I thought of Prince William and the entire remaining Windsors & Mountbatten Windsor’s and the whole Aristocracy cutting the Harkles off entirely because the BRF called a wrap (or had to) and the UK became a Republic after Her Majesty. MM get the privlage in her narcissistic head that she’s the last ever to become a Duchess, Cathrine wouldn’t become the Princess of Wales and it all came down in part because of her and Henry’s actions. Yes Andrew and whoever else aren’t helping but these two made it exceptionally difficult. I think they would take pride in that especially publicly but only when they are praised for it. I think the Cambridge’s would have an easier time with moving on with their family, free to live as they please with no pressure to serve the public. Cathrine can be “lazy”, sleep in, & raise her kids and Wills is free to🖕 the paps who would surely still follow them. A La “where are they now”. The two that would have it the worse are the Harkles as they last bit of what they had to separate them from the rest of Hollywood is gone, no more Royal sheen but they don’t have much now. It would be stupid to use the titles after an abolished monarchy but they’d do it and expose themselves further.🖤 If you made it this far, one last thing. I got cut off while driving. That’s not unusual in this Miami traffic and usually i ignore it but with my mental state I couldn’t help but to compare. it was a packed road and I just really wanted to know where the heck the fire was. Why did this person need to rush so much on a busy road that no one else mattered even though we all have somewhere to go? That’s how I feel about the Harkles. What’s the point, where are they going? They went to New England for Christ sake to play faux royalty, in more trashy outfits might I add. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I guess I do have a question, DOES THE WORLD REALLY BELONG TO THOSE WHO JUST Get UP AND TAKE IT?

Thanks for humoring me and providing this space. ✌🏾

Note: My apologies for this very long post, everyone. I can't put a page break in and the writer needs to let it all out. I am sure a lot of you will be feeling somewhat similar to them.

Reply under the cut, so this is not any longer

Hi april14vc,

You are welcome to rant here.

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment and it is all becoming a bit much to handle, as there is no relief anywhere. Is there something fun and relaxing that you can do for you sometime today, just to have a break from it all? I feel like you need to tune out for a bit and do something that is just for you.

I am so sorry that you suffered from narcissistic abuse, and so glad that you survived this. I think the Harkle shenanigans must hurt you in a more personal way than those of us who have never suffered under a narcissist. It is very hard to watch the Harkles seemingly get away with all their entitled abuse without any form of justice coming for them.

I think the Harkles are suffering. They usually are unable to get any sort of attention from the media unless they pay for it, and even then they don't trend - it is a 'blink and you miss it' situation. Look at what happened with Meghan's 40 for 40 program - it was dead in the water before the day was over, and she spent a fortune on PR for that. Compare that to the natural (not paid for) hype that surrounds anything that the BRF does, especially the Cambridges or HMTQ. That hype and attention is what Meghan wants, and she is not getting it.

What the Harkles are getting, and what they hate, is mockery. Look at the response to their Times 100 cover. Look at the comments on this pseudo-royal tour. They are a walking joke, and no narcissist would like that. They tried to cull all negative press while they were members of the BRF, were unsuccessful in stemming all of it, and now have no clout at all to stop any negative media attention. The Harkles may live in a delusion of success, but to the vast majority of people they are no more than very risible z-list celebrities.

The Harkles also have serious money troubles. They may be ignoring them, but those debts will have to be paid, one way or another.

What we are seeing now is the slow slide of the Harkles into obscurity, and their desperate attempts to reverse the process, which never work. They are no more popular and wanted now than they were at the time of Megxit, and in fact their popularity has declined since those days. They may look like they are winning, but it is all an illusion, caused by the amounts of money they are prepared to pay to give the illusion of wealth and star-quality celebrity. The paid for events happen, and then nothing. The paid for PR happens, and then nothing. Their slide downwards continues, and nothing that they do is reversing it.

Yes, at the moment they are on a high and beaming put of every report on their activities. Wait a week and then see where they are. This is like the Oprah interview all over again.

My next reading is going to be on the consequences of this pseudo-royal tour for the Harkles, so maybe there will be some justice for you there.

Edited to add: As for taking down the monarchy, I can't see that happening. For starters, the British government would have to put the matter to the people for a vote, and even if they are insane enough to do that, I can't see the British public voting to remove a beloved Queen because of the antics of two people who are despised that that country. The logistics of replacing the monarchy are also staggering - you have to rework the entire government of not just Great Britain, but of all the commonwealth realms who have HMTQ as Head of State, and that is not an easy task or a light undertaking. In addition, those Commonwealth Realms can keep HM as their head of state even if she is ejected by the British people (which would never happen, but I am stretching the bounds of probability here). After HMTQ comes Charles, who will have a short reign simply because of his age and health, and then William will be king, and he is also loved by the British public. I just can not see all that thrown away for the Harkles, who are rightly hated by the British public.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Books I’ve Read in 2020

AHello! I’m trying to read as many books as I can during the quarantine, here’s what I’ve finished so far:

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (literary fiction): a son writes a letter about his life to his illiterate mother. Breathtakingly beautiful with it’s way with words this book is lovely and real in the hardest and sweetest ways. The author’s combination of prose and poetry is dazzling and intricate, this book has stuck with me for days afterward. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (fantasy): a money-lender gets in trouble after bragging she can turn silver into gold and is kidnapped and ordered to do so by a fey creature. It may be that I am the perfect audience for this type of book, but it’s my favorite thing I’ve read all year. It’s a book that equally takes on the fantastical and real-world with compelling female characters at the center of the whole thing. A wonderful fantasy journey inspired by eastern-European Jewish folklore. 5 out of 5 stars.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll (horror graphic novel): a series of short horror comics. Absolutely bone-chilling! This was a really fun type of scary story, especially the last one which made my skin absolutely crawl. Deliciously eerie, this was treat to read if not a little too short. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (magical realism): a young girl can taste other people’s emotions in their cooking and begins to understand her family in new ways. This was a weird book, but it has everything you’ve got to love about that combination of the surreal and mundane. It’s sense of character was electrifying and I had fun engaging with this type of off-kilter real world. I was a little frustrated in parts bc of some characters choices, but that too was true to life. 4 out of 5 stars.

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (steampunk fantasy wlw): about a Made automaton heir to a throne and her human hand-maiden that is trying to kill her. This was an easy read with a lot of tension between the two main characters that I liked, but the writing itself was very weak. There was waaay too much exposition in parts and the dialogue had some really hockey lines. I enjoyed the twists and turns in the middle of the book, but the beginning and end didn’t have much movement. 2.5 stars out of 5.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn (historical fiction): honestly, I’m a little disappointed. This book just did not hit my sweet spots, it wasn’t fast-paced enough for me to get immersed in the plot, and the characters weren’t real enough to be wholly invested in them. That said I adored Nina Markova and the Night Witches, so that did help. 3 starts out of 5.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White (horror sci-fi retelling): HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. A retelling of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s wife and my God! The characters! The plot was well-enough, but the characters took the whole show for being complex and compelling. The main character was breathtakingly layered and I was wholly invested in Elizabeth and her story and the triumph at the end of this story was tangible. 4 out of 5 stars! 

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (fantasy): A story of a young woman who lives in a valley where a girl must go live with a wizard for 10 years. She is certain she won’t be chosen, but ends up having to be “uprooted” herself. I enjoyed most of this book! However, I think I liked “Spinning Silver” a lot more just because the ending of this one somehow lost me. The characters were good and plot compelling, but (SPOILERS) the big battle at the end seemed to drag and didn’t interest me somehow. 3.8 out of 5 stars.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fantasy): excellent read! A story of a young woman in Jazz Age Mexico who goes on an adventure with a Mayan death God who is trying to regain his throne. A romp across the country absolutely brimming with likable characters and fairy tale twists. My only complaint would be that most of it felt a little predictable due to the fact we knew where we were going throughout the whole story, However, it was still greatly enjoyable for the heroine herself, Casiopea. 4 out of 5 stars!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (literary): a story of two families in a progressive “planned” community, how their lives intertwine, their secrets, and a central question surrounding motherhood. Deeply empathetic to its characters and introspective, this is an every-day story of people in suburbia that reads like a thriller. I could barely put it down and felt deeply for its characters and situations, 5 out of 5 stars!

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA sci-fi suspense): a story of a group of girls at a boarding school on an island affected by the “tox” which alters their bodies in strange ways like giving them scales or an extra spine. This was an eerie, interesting read with a wlw romance! Watch out for the body horror in this one, but it was very gripping and held my interest. Some of the pacing was off in places (like the romance), but had a very creepy atmosphere that did it for me. 3.8 out of 5 stars!

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (thriller-mystery): A thriller about a group of Shakespeare actors in their last year of college and one of their classmates who turns up dead. I enjoyed the murder mystery part of this novel more than I expected despite the fact I had guessed who had “done it” pretty early on. I really enjoyed the James-Oliver dynamic with its growing homoeroticism, but I didn’t like how the character of Meredith was handled at all. She felt like a one-note aside. I might have given this book four stars, but the ending was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I did not like the “open-ended” conclusion. 3 out of 5 stars.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): a weird character-driven comedy about an old grumpy man and a new family that moves in next to him. Warning for themes of suicide. Anyway, I don’t normally indulge in cliches like “I laughed, I cried, I loved one Cat Annoyance.” However, that’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud, I cried my eyes out (THE CAT’S HEAD WAS IN HIS PALM), I loved this book. It was sweet and compelling and thoroughly immersive. 5 out of 5 stars!

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (historical fantasy): set in the early 1900s comes a story of a young girl and her experience with “Doors” that lead to different worlds. This book had a lot of great character development and really interesting descriptions, however, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. I found it hard to get myself to sit down a read it. There was just something missing with the push to “page-turn,” but it was still a really good book. 3.7 out of 5 stars!

Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (high fantasy, kinda gay): I AM FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. This was book was definitely a page-turner. I was very confused with it at the beginning, but the characters and their interactions were, forgive the expression, the life blood of the story and kept me wholly invested. The ending has CRUSHED my heart, but damn did I have a good time reading it. 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Harrow the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (sequel to Gideon the 9th): I really enjoyed this book. It was just as strange and twisting as the first book, though I think I enjoyed the first one a bit more since I love Gideon. It was fun ride overall, though the ending was kind of really confusing. So 4 out of 5 stars.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (historical fiction): Overall, I really enjoyed this book! The writing style was personable and grounded in reality. I found myself really liking the main characters and the exploration of the life of a bi main character was really well done I thought. A solid book with drama and glamor to boot. 4.6 out of 5 stars!

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (historical fiction): A story of two sisters during WWII and their resistance to Nazi occupation. To be honest, this book wasn’t my cup of tea. It was compelling, but also wholly depressing and I felt like gloried in the pain of the two main characters too much. The history was wonderful and realistic, but it didn’t make me feel anything good afterward. It was just dark. 3 out of 5 stars.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm romance): I finally finished this after the heaviness of The Nightingale. This is a story of the First Son of the USA falling for the prince of England. And it turned out to be a very fun and light hearted read! Some of it was kinda generic and too political, and it coulda been shorter, but I thought the romance itself made up for it. It just made me feel so sweet and lovely inside. 4 out of 5 stars!

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): I’m searching out heartfelt books and this one ticked off all the marks on my “sweet” list. A lovely book that made me cry more times than I would like to admit. Compassionate beyond belief, funny and heartfelt. I think I enjoyed A Man Called Ove slightly more, but this book was also dear to me and something I hope to reread in the future. 4.2 out of 5 stars!

Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel (sci-fi): A post-apocalyptical story about a group of traveling Shakespeare actors and a symphony. Overall, an excellent read that somehow pictures a more realistic or even softer version of the apocalypse. At first, I wasn't happy with the jumping around of the story, but as I progressed I grew fonder and fonder of the interwoven characters and their journey. A very fascinating read about a world that hits a little too close to home. The appreciation of the arts and preserving humanity was somehow very hopeful and I was fully engaged with this story. 5 out of 5 Stars!

Up next: The Hidden Life of Trees by by Peter Wohlleben (nonfiction science), The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin (urban fantasy), The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (fantasy)

#I'll keep this list updated! #am reading #bookblr #IA talks #I've mostly read books I've really liked this year! #then again I rarely finish books I don't like

[ellasadventuresinfandoms]

Okay, back in May @isolatedphenomenon asked me if I had an les mis fic recs and I went "oh boy do I !" and then promptly fucked off and disappeared from tumblr for like 6 months...

Anyway on the off chance people are interested, here is my vastly too long list of  my favourite les mis fanfic (that I'm almost 100% sure I'll have accidentally missed some of my favourites off of...)

The vast majority of these are main pairing Enjolras/Grantaire, so I've put those first, divided into multi-chaptered and then one-shots. Below that will be other pairings!

Multi-chaptered

• Witch Boy Series : magic AU, starting with Grantaire solving Enjolras' curse - this is just Incredible world building which gets better as it goes on - my favourite is the Babet interlude

• World Ain't Ready : you know how fandoms tend to have a fic that is just associated with it ? in my experience, for les mis this is it - and well deserved ! High school, fake dating AU with some of the most engaging writing

• BE : Enjolras is dragged back into theatre production, helping Eponine put on a production of Hamlet - really love the characterisation in this, and this is really one of those modern AUs that actually feels like real life - really good writing

• After the End : the definitive apocalypse AU in my eyes - les amis are an underground resistance to the dystopian government - really wonderful characterisation of Grantaire and the amis

• You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. : I tend to find fic by scrolling through bookmarks of a pairing, which means I often see repeats; this is a fic that if I see I just re-read cause I know I'll enjoy it - the amis sparked a failed rebellion, and now 18 months later Grantaire ends up staying at Enjolras' after returning to Paris for Marius and Cosette's wedding

• Your Heart on Your Skin : Soulmate AU with flower tattoos marking important emotions and events - wonderful concept and world building 

• Impatient to Be Free : Daughters of Bilitis AU - if that doesn't make you excited I don't know what else to say to convince you (aside from saying the author is a simply wonderful writer)

• You Dance Dreams : Okay. Not to be over dramatic, but this fic did genuinely qualitatively change my life, in that it was the first thing that got me looking up contemporary ballet and now that's like one of my favourite things and big hobby So. Also its really great writing; music/creative arts school les amis with Grantaire choreohraphing the ballet for Combeferre's opera, with a heavy emphasis on Grantaire realising he really never actually got over Enjolras

• philia : this one is an absolute classic to me, but not given nearly enough recognition - one of the more realistic college AUs ever written, and the writing of Grantaire is so good because it hits the perfect balance of sympathy and annoyance about his behaviour (that's a genuine compliment) 

• Coffee Hooligans : fucking tragedy this never got properly finished, Enjolras leads the amis as social justice vigilantes and tries to hide the criminal bits of his life from R

• Fighting the Hurricane : Pacific Rim AU that's less an AU and more just placing the les mis characters in the Pacific Rim universe. Really good and riveting read, also super interesting depiction of Grantaire

• Weaving Olden Dances : Fairy AU - Grantaire "claims" Enjolras to prevent his execution - really good writing, love Grantaires characterisation 

• Paris Burning : canon era (sort of) where cities have a physical being - Grantaire is Paris and becomes entangled in Enjolras' revolution - oh the world building is truly *chefs kiss*

• Euphoria is You For Me : Enjolras and Grantaire keep meet cuting in a wonderfully written Brooklyn - feels like a love letter to Brooklyn at times, and I really like the characterisation of Grantaire 

• so please just fall in love with me this christmas : Enjolras works for the environmental company Grantaire volunteers at, and keeps getting secret gifts at Christmas - I sound a little like a broken record but the Grantaire characterisation is very good

• You Are the Moon : Wild West esque Space AU - Grantaire has to call on the amis to help rescue Valjean and Cosette, despite Grantaire leaving the amis 6 months before. On re-reading the Enjolras characterisation feels a little rushed, but overall fantastic story telling and the Grantaire arc is a Delight 

• Pandemos : Enjolras is aphrodite, and seeks peace from all his suitors in R/Hephestus' cave

• Pining for You : Hallmark christmas romance - Grantaire returns home to work on his father's tree farm, and Enjolras is the lawyer helping prevent the farm being sold - cute as shit imo

• Once We're Kings : Fantasy AU - a country hosts a ball to marry Prince Enjolras and the rival country sends Grantaire as a fuck you - one of the best ways of doing Enjolras as a prince in a fantasy and just really nicely written

• Never Bitter and All Delicious : Fairy Godmother AU - yes really, yes its genuinely a very good read

• On One Condition : Fantasy AU - Enjolras is a bored knight who finally goes to check out the local dragon, which turns out to be Grantaire - I really like how they capture Enjolras' stubborn nature and it's such a well written soft growth of love between them

• That's How Easy Love Can Be : Les Amis work at a primary school; and its secret santa time! very fun portrayal of Enjolras

• The Lark and Her Lieutenants : re write of canon where Cosette is the leader of the revolution - just *chefs kiss*

• If You Tickle Us, Do We Not Laugh : Grantaire is Enjolras' secret android - really good at writing a relationship that's incredibly loving but just keeps being antagonistic and coming off wrong 

One Shots

• True Colours : AU where you leave colours on the people important to you - Enjolras and Grantaire falling for each other is so soft and gently written its lovely, this is genuinely one of my favourites

• Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right : this one is so good to me, because it builds off my pet hatred of everyone assuming Enjolras doesn't care about (or at least actively show he cares about) his friends

• blooming : very soft post-dystopian utopia that has just a really wonderful sense of hope and light to me

• and the wall leaned away (or: The Pros and Cons of Tilling) : perfectly realised characterizations of the amis, Grantaire needs a date to her final year art exhibition - deals with anxiety over protest in a way that actually hits for me

• not just one of the crowd : R helps run a leftist bakery and bike repair shop - very cute characterisation, and I think more les mis fanfic should link to anarchist essays

• Lovesickness : Enjolras is an idiot and thinks he's sick rather than having a crush - the writing of Joly and Combeferre in this is some of my favourite depictions of these two

• If there's a rocket, tie me to it : absolutely heartbreaking sci-fi AU about the amis as doomed mecha pilots

• Where I Fall is Where I Land : Enjolras is a Roman commander as Rome's power is leaving England, and then meets the pict Grantaire (+ fun soulmark stuff !)

• You Started Foreign to Me : Enjolras moves to america and R is the overnight grocery clerk who helps her learn Spanish - cute fluffy lesbians with a wonderfully written driven Enjolras

• Love Is Touching Souls : very cute soulmate AU - and one I really love for really truly considering the implications of soul marks and creating historical lore around it

• Ten Years : R is a musician, and it non-linearly charts his relationship to Enj from high school to 10 years later

• put up with me then I'll make you see : Grantaire lives above Enjolras, and its christmas - I find it to have a very fun interpretation of pining Enjolras

• A Cat Called Trash Can : this was one of the first les mis fics I ever read (yes I know it says it was published in 2020, but I think it has to be a re-upload or something?) and it does still have a special place in my heart - Grantaire rescues a cat, but Enjolras is the only one with an apartment free to look after it 

• Still I'm Begging to Be Free : inception AU where les amis have to rescue a sleeping R from his own brain

•I'm in it for You : cw: illness, cancer - R has cancer and is being a martyr about telling his friends so Enjolras drives him back from chemo

• walls come tumbling down : sky high au - a very good high school AU with the perfect level of campy superhero powers

• This brave new world's not like yesterday : Enjolras needs a job, so ends up working in a bowling alley with Grantaire and bonding

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

• In Defiance of All Geometry : les amis are a student co-op house, Enjolras and Combeferre are pining friends and Grantaire is the newbie

• Still the Same : this is very good writing and very compelling - if you can get over the (imo) plot hole of Enjolras working for the FBI. R was an art thief Enj put away and is briefly helping the FBI out, and Combeferre is Enjolras' husband

• To Kingdom Come : cw: war and PTSD from that, Enjolras and Combeferre are part of a group of refugees that have crossed into a more fantasy land, and Grantaire is a lone traveller from that land that attempts to help - that was a shit summary of this very emotional, wonderfully written fic about war and love in all forms

• Gonna need (a spark to ignite) : I always love a twist on a classic trope, and this is a very fun take on the soulmate AU - Enjolras loses feeling in his soul mark as a child, falls in love with Grantaire and then his soulmate, Combeferre, turns up

Eponine/Cosette

• Pretty Girls Don't Know the Things That I Know : simply stunning writing - perfect example of soft writing about a harsh world

• she knows her way around : Eponine and Cosette bond, ostensibly so Eponine can find out about her for Marius, and their interactions are so playful and realistic, its wonderful

• always find me floating on oceans : Cosette stows away on Eponine's pirate ship - I do always have a soft spot for eposette fics (not just cause I ship it) because they truly characterise Cosette in a really considered and interesting way

• There's No Making Love : I'm putting this under eposette even though there is some significant enjolras/grantaire content, because the Cosette characterisation is so fun and cute

• round and round again : this fic really beautifully translates Cosette's bad childhood and then isolated teenage years, and the impact that would have on her as an adult into a modern AU

• Underwater Thunderheards : this is based off the book The Scorpio Races, and is just a really nice short fic  about longing

• How To Change The World Without Taking Power : Marius has a crush on Cosette and she's tried being polite and subtle in turning him down, so just ends up fake dating Eponine instead

• blood red fruit and poison's kiss : Snow White AU - Cosette as Snow White

• The Winters Cannot Fade Her : Snow White Au 2.0 - Eponine as Snow White - this was written as a pair to the one above which is just so cute to me

• marriage à la mode : Cosette and Eponine run a bridal shop together and it's very cute !

• Temporary Hold : I personally find this a really fun and very unique take on Cosette - with exams coming up she decides she needs to get laid on the reg and so hits up Eponine to act as if they're already long term girlfriends

Combeferre/Courfeyrac

• better than you had it : fake dating but kick it up an emotional notch - Courf and Ferre pretend to still be together after breaking up for a family event

• take flight, come near : nice and cute low fantasy, where Combeferre runs a dragon sanctuary and Courf finds an injured dragon

Rare Pairs

• The Future's Owned by You and Me : cute Enjolras/Feuilly with actual radical politics and real life organising difficulties and wins

• First Dates and Other Dangers : Combeferre and Grantaire agree to go on a blind date and it's awkward until it isn't - just cute !

• after midnight : Combeferre has insomnia and meets Grantaire in various all night fast food chains

• as you are : Bahorel and Jehan getting ready together

• Almost Romantic : Jehan works at a museum, and takes Combeferre on a little tour

• Understudy : Jehan/Combeferre, with Combeferre's insecurities regarding being seen as second best to Enjolras

• Here There Be Dragons : Courf/Enj/Ferre - Courf and Enj are superheroes and Ferre is the doctor that patches them up

• To Let it Occur (Laisser Faire la Nature) : Feuilly has a stupidly long stopover in Paris and meets Enjolras

• rule of three : Courf/Enj/Ferre as spies and loving boyfriends

• Good Rhetoric : snapshots of cute cuddly courf/enj/ferre

• subluxate, dislocate, replace : found family and chronic illness with Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

• Strike stone, strike home (like lightning) : so this fic took one minor piece of lore about Tolkien's dwarves and made a beautiful j/b/m fic from it

• Almost Inevitable : Bahorel/Feuilly friends-with-benefits

• god only knows (what I'd be without you) : Bahorel/Feuilly with a closeted Feuilly and a beautiful Feuilly and Eponine friendship

#les miserables #fanfic rec #les mis #les miserables fanfic #les miserables fanfic rec

[olliscowizz]

High Ground - Olli Matela FF Part 7

Remember how I told y'all yesterday I wouldn't post a chapter today? Guess I tricked myself there a bit. Today is Switzerlands national holiday. Which means firework and my cat will be scared. So I will stay home, write probably some more and take care of my cat. lol.

And now enjoy and lemme know if you liked it.

P.S. once again the chapter is a bit longer.

_______________________________________________

After Olli came back out the shower, Sara thought he looked very handsome. Like he always did. He was wearing a black button down and simple black jeans. “Looking good there handsome”, she said and walked over to him, to give him a short kiss. “I only tried to not look like a himbo next to you”, he admitted and pulled her closer to him to start pepper her face with kisses. She laughed and pushed him softly away from her. He was just so unbelievably cute she almost couldn’t handle him. “So. What do you think. Should we go and buy some liquor so the party will be more up to our taste?”, he asked her smirking. She also started to smirk and nodded her head. So out they went to the next corner store, to buy some harder stuff than beer, which Tommi probably already had at his house.

They decided to get themselves some good old cheap whiskey and because Sara was a big fan of it some Aperol. After they bought their stuff it was already time to go to Tommis place.

After they arrived no one questioned why they came together. Sara actually expected one or two side remarks, why they arrived together and already made sure she had an excuse. Gladly she did not have to use a single excuse. She would have hated to lie to the guys. “Hi guys!”, Sara greeted them with the most genuine smile she had in a long time and even pulled them all into a hug, which surprised not only her but them as well. “I brought Aperol!”, she claimed and held the bottle up high. They cheered for her and Tommi took the bottle to the fridge. “So who allowed you to look this good, madame?”, asked a beer holding Joonas and smirked at her. She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the cute man in front of her. “You’re one to talk. Looking all hot and fluffy here”, she answered him and motioned for him to a little twirl for here. He obliged and turned around in a circle for her and even threw a pose in there, which resulted in all the people laughing. “Dork”, she laughed at him, and asked Tommi where his fridge was. He pointed to the kitchen and she and Olli made their way inside, to grab drinks for themselves. “How am I supposed to resist you?”, he mumbeled low enough for only her ears and smirked when he noticed her blush. “Don’t then”, she winked, after she gained her confidence back, and left a dumbfounded Olli back in the kitchen. Two could play this game, she thought and sat down next to Tommi, who was sitting on a bench. They were right, when they said he looked like a teddy bear. Like there was probably no one softer in this garden than he was.

Olli also came back out and had to his disappointment noticed that there was no free space next to his angel. A little bit pissed he sat down next to Niko, who to his surprise noticed the shift in Ollis face. “Don’t be pissed, just because she gets along with Tommi”, Niko whispered so only Olli could hear. Olli was surprised. Was he this obvious? “I am not pissed”, he tried to defend himself, which resulted in Niko letting out a snorting like laugh. “Sure buddy and I am the queen of England”, he joked and hit Olli on his shoulder. There was no one who could fool Niko. He always noticed everything. “Oh! I am sorry your highness! Can I bring you something to drink? Would you like to have your corgis in the same garden as you!”, Olli mocked in a british accent and even intended to do a bow. The others in the garden were surprised but couldn’t help but laugh. “What are you doing Olli?”, Aleksi asked while Joel was holding his stomach from laughing so hard. “Niko said he was the queen of England. I only wanted to be a good servant”, Olli said and tried to subtly wink at Sara. But of course Niko had to notice. Once again! Olli decided that keeping him and Sara a secret would maybe not be hard in front of the other boys, but Niko could turn into a problem.

They were all laughing and enjoying themselves. Alcohol was there and they all started to feel a bit light headed. Sara made her way to the kitchen, to go grab her and Niko another beer. She only did it because Niko tried to act cute when he asked to also bring him one. She couldn’t say no to the long haired man. She didn’t notice that Olli followed her into the kitchen. He also drank a few beers and was feeling tipsy. “Angel. When are we leaving?”, he asked her and trapped her between the counter and his body. “Why would we leave? And why would we leave together?”, she teased him and tried to get away from him. She didn’t really want to get out from this position, but it was fun playing with him, as he was getting impatient. “We will leave together. You’re going to sleep at my place today”, he decided for her and put his head on her shoulder. It seemed like she didn’t have any other choice but to stay at his place. “Gladly”, she admitted and pulled him into a short kiss, which fast turned into a full make out session in the middle of Tommis kitchen. The thought hit Sara like a brick, and she pulled away from him. Olli didn’t really feel that and started to kiss her neck roughly, which probably will turn into a mark. “Babe”, she whimpered and he stiffened. “If you say that again, I will have to take you home this instant”, he growled into her ear and pulled away from her, to look her in her eyes. Sara noticed that his eyes darkened quite a bit. “Just one more hour and then we’ll leave”, she whispered and gave him a short kiss, grabbed her and Nikos beer and went back outside to the other men.

Olli had to collect his thoughts and calm his racing heart down in the kitchen. He didn’t know he would react so strongly to a single word this woman said. But he clearly did. He could feel his heart in his throat and his hand were shaking a bit. He went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face to calm himself even more down. After he calmed down a bit and his heart wasn’t beating like a metronome at 189 he went back to the boys. Of course, Niko looked at him weirdly and even smirked a bit. “Were you the one who bruised the princess a bit?”, Niko whispered in Ollis ear. He looked closely at Saras neck, and he saw it too. There were really small bruises starting to form. Olli looked down, so Niko wouldn’t see his grin. “A gentleman never tells”, he winked at his friend and took a sip from his beer. Only 50 more minutes until he and Sara would leave.

After the most painful 60 minutes Sara slowly got up from her place. She was a bit wobbly. Maybe she shouldn’t have drank that Aperol. But man was she feeling amazing. “Boys. Tomorrow is a long day. I will head back to the hotel now”, she said. “Don’t be late to rehearsal tomorrow, and do not be hungover. There were never any good songs made hungover”, she lectured them professionally and gathered her belongings. “We probably all should head home”, Joel said and got up as well. Everyone expect Tommi, cause it was his garden, followed his lead and they also gathered their belongings.

After everyone said their goodbyes, they started to head in the right directions home. Olli made sure that no one looked at him an Sara and pulled her to a wall and pressed her softly against it. “That was longer than an hour”, he whispered between kisses and tried to get even closer to her, which was physically impossible, as they were already really close together. “But now you got me”, she whispered back and put her arms around his neck. After two more minutes of them just kissing, Olli pulled away from her, took her hand and started to drag her at a fast pace to the direction of his apartment. He was getting impatient, Sara noticed that.

Olli never arrived at his apartment faster, and he couldn’t even be bothered to wait for the elevator. He pulled her straight to the stairs and dragged her up there as well. He needed three tries to get the key in the hole, but when he managed he pulled Sara straight to his bedroom. “I know a few hours ago I said I wanted to wait a bit longer, but by god. You drove me crazy today”, he admitted an pushed her to lay down on his bed. It was actually Saras first time seeing his bedroom. “Did I?”, she smirked at him and watched as he unbuttoned his shirt. He just nodded at her, unable to say a word.

He finally managed to get out of his button down and crawled on top of her. He started to kiss her passionately. Slowly he put his hand on her ribs. Suddenly too shy to make the next move. She pulled him closer to her, which encouraged him to slip his tongue in her mouth. They were so engaged in each other, that they almost didn’t hear Ollis phone ring, which was still in Ollis back pocket. “Ignore it”, he whispered as he noticed her moving away. “It could be important”, she argued. She was drilled to always answer her phone. At all times. “That’s Nikos ringtone. It will probably be about a song he found online”, he tried to persuade her, but Sara was stubborn and looked at him wit a -pick it up- look. He let out a deep sigh, pulled his phone out and lie down next to Sara who was trying to fix her dress. “I am really sorry man. But could you tell me your Netflix password?”, Niko did sound guilty on the other end of the phone. Olli almost couldn’t believe his ears. Was Niko for real? He had the most beautiful girl in his bed and right now his friend had to call him and ask for his fucking Netflix password? The mood was ruined. “It’s Fuckyou1234 with a capital F”, he said and hung up the phone.

#olli matela imagine #olli matela fancition #olli matela #tommi lalli #aleksi kaunisvesi #alex mattson #joel hokka #niko vilhelm #blind channel #blind channel imagines #blind channel fanfiction #high ground ff

[nettlestonenell]

Enola Holmes in Review

Gentle Readers:

1.       I did not plan to watch Enola Holmes

2.       I do not/have not watched Stranger Things, and my entire concept of Millie Bobby Brown as a human is encapsulated in the occasional errant tumblr post, and a line of eyewear she apparently has created, posters for which hang at my glasses-provider.

3.       I had never heard of the YA novels about Enola Holmes

There she is!

Yes, I do tend to enjoy nearly any incarnation of Sherlock Holmes. And, yes, I am often surprised by this fact. For some reason, Holmes, unlike, say, Chris Evans as Cap or Chris Hemsworth as Thor [instances where I can’t really imagine enjoying anyone else in the role] I am always interested to see someone else’s [writer and actor and director]’s take on him. *Subtle shout-out to James D’Arcy’s 2002 turn in A Case of Evil.

Mr. Jarvis! [and there was Vincent D’Onofrio and opium!!]

And yet, watching the Enola Holmes trailer [no doubt b/c of tumblr], and yes, admittedly not unmoved [we are not made of stone] by Cavill’s Curls™ the delight I felt in watching that advert led me to start informing my family that on September 23rd what I was going to be doing was enjoying Enola Holmes on Netflix [and anyone else was free to join me].

Someone important is missing from this picture

And what a delight it was. In the run-up to its debut I read more than a few reviews of the film [and, I think, every one of them written by men], some of which struck me as simply coming from a place of mean-spiritedness, yet none—even the positive reviews—preparing me for how ENJOYABLE this film is.

I’m not going to provide a full review point-by-point here, b/c the film involves cases to be solved (no, none of them are overwhelmingly complex—YA novel--, so all the more reason not to spoil any pay-offs). But I do have some things to talk about.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM – And what a nice, nice elephant it is! Henry Cavill as Holmes is, in my opinion an absolute delight of a performance. From the moment he first says Enola’s name (a perfectly-rendered reaction to the moment playing out) this Holmes fits into this Greatest Showman-like version of Victorian England, where no one’s too dirty no matter how poor, and where despite a flaming red dress, cut too low for daytime wear, young Enola is never once mistaken for a working girl. [Again, YA novel] As other reviewers have noted, HC is, well, Cut and Bulked Out, and in his highly tailored frock coats well, strapping is too light a description word. *not a complaint. Cavill’s Curls are out and proud and here to tell us that we are meant to be Having Fun, and Gentle Readers—THEY DO NOT LIE.

No, not a priest’s collar where he is undercover (though I had thought so)

In fact, you could absolutely write your thesis statement on this film, that it’s really a fraternal, familial love story between Sherlock and Enola. Sherlock is the character during the two hours that actually changes. [Yes, Enola comes to an understanding about herself, and her circumstances change repeatedly—but it is Sherlock who experiences a Change of Heart/Reversal]. 

Raise your hand if you’re totally here for significantly older brother/significantly youngest sister family love!

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE IT – This might in no way be helpful, but, Enola Holmes is basically The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles...

Where have you gone, Sean Patrick Flanery?

a YA historical storyline that’s written adjacent to [there, famous people] here, enduring fictional characters. It’s adventurous and pleasantly immersive, historical morays are given a slap-dash portrayal, rather than a fully-accurate representation, there’s adventures to be had, and side-characters to be converted into caring about the title character as much as we, the audience, do.

LUCY HONEYCHURCH – Yes, that gorgeous girl from Windy Corner. The timeline doesn’t jibe, but I daresay Helena Bonham Carter (back in a corset—though she may have worn those for Bellatrix) as Eudoria Holmes *IS* what Lucy Honeychurch might well have become beyond A Room with a View’s end. Bonham Carter looks absolutely at home here (period films have sorely missed her! –she had a part in 2015’s Suffragette), and still wears the trappings of Victorian England like a second skin. 

Not to mention that she now join my personal comfort-list of on-screen mothers with the likes of 1997’s Little Women Susan Sarandon and Cinderella’s Hayley Atwell.

FAMILY ISSUES OR PLOT HOLES? 

It’s a fair question. There’s a lot going on in this plot, some of which...seem solvable. Why has it been so very long since the Holmes brothers have seen their own mother? And sister? How could the woman we come to know as Eudoria raise a Mycroft? [see also, Molly Weasley?] Why aren’t people who seem to care about Enola more engaged with saving her from all the dangers London throws in her way? Why does Enola accept several acts of violence aimed at her, why does she in certain instances Do What She Is Told? Rather than chalk these up to plot holes or convenient devices, I’m siding with the Holmes family being dysfunctional [who knows what dad was like? We’re certainly not told here]. 

[clears throat]

The conversations between Mycroft and Sherlock barely skim the surface of any subject they interact on. Classic dysfunction: distancing one’s true self from human interaction b/c keeping the peace supersedes all else.

Enola accepts certain treatments b/c if we really do watch her relationship with her mother, there is an element of something amiss—as I will declare the later abandonment shows. Enola is a child used to being elevated and celebrated on one hand, and shut out and isolated on the other. Her parent has informed her about so much, but essentially locked her away in a false reality, where Enola is not taken to see the world, nor taught how to interact in it (which is explicitly stated). Perhaps it is not so surprising that the Holmes’ brothers have not cared overly much for visiting their remaining family. And when repeatedly confronted with a minor child (and yet a child likely though old enough or about so, to be married off) being forced to endure things diametrically opposed to her will—the brothers’ reactions are stoic, the system they accept as to how life must be lived immoveable and morally right simply by its very existence.

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN – THE STAR – In what has to be an Emmy-nomination-deserving turn, MBB is nothing short of wholly in charge of the screen. She never overpowers the story. She’s as loveable as Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, and as ready for her closeup as Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games. As another review mentioned, she handles the 4th wall breaks in such as way as we look forward to the next time she’s going to talk to us. We ache with her sorrow for her lost mom, and rage with her at the adults in her life choosing wrongly for her future—or simply not choosing at all.

A random observation, but one that feels important to me: her HAIR. Yes! They’ve managed to make a late Victorian-era film where the heroine’s hair looks like real hair that someone really styled (or in some scenes, didn’t). And yet, where the hair looks proper for the time. [wild applause]

COMPLAINTS: Well, in honesty there aren’t any. If you want to complain that there isn’t any dirt, that the evil of the world (I mean, c’mon, this is narrowly post-Dickensian London, here) is neutered, that the adults in question seem neither alarmed enough or emboldened enough at either their mother or sister being missing and possibly out of their depths in a dangerous society without protection, and in Enola’s case real-world skills--? Well, I’m certainly not going to disagree with you. This is YA Victorian London, after all, not Ripper Street. There is also neither a hint of or actual threat of sexual violence at any point in the film. But the lack of that has preserved us from having to sit through that, as well as no doubt lectures about how Enola’s virtue might be spoilt and she might become useful to no man.

The relationships are appropriate, too. Despite strides between Enola and certain adults in the film, by the time the credits roll they’re not showing physical affection toward each other (a move that would have seemed over-the-top), and teen relationships are shown progressing at a reasonable and mutedly awkward pace.

Now, Netflix, green-light me five more films (or more). There’s still a new version of John Watson to meet, after all!

#enola holmes #netflix enola holmes #millie bobby brown #henry cavill #helena bonham carter #SUCH A GOOD TIME! #universally well-liked!

[misssophiachase]

prompt- AH Klaroline. we usually see klaus developing feelings for caroline while she's in a relationship with someone else. i would like to see something where klaus has been in an established relationship with another girl and caroline realizes that she's developed feelings for him. (if you don't have time to do this one, don't worry about it).

Thanks nonnie, I love it so much! Inspired really. Got a bit carried away too, see notes at the end.

Synopsis: One wedding and a completely confused best man and maid of honour.

“And all you never say is that you love me so.”

All You Never Say

Caroline Forbes, Maid of Honour, Invites you to celebrate:

The Bachelorette Party for

Katherine Pierce

On Saturday fifteenth of June, twenty-twenty one at Connaught Bar, Mayfair, London at 2000h

Dress: Party Attire

One week before the nuptials - Connaught Bar, London England, 10:21pm

“What happened to the Kitty Kat I knew who’d usually be dancing on the bar right now and showing the stripper just how it’s done?” 

Although her tone was light and teasing, Caroline was a little disappointed given this was her best friend’s bachelorette party and there wasn’t a tacky veil or penis straw in sight. 

Also, they’d been forced to hire out a venue to avoid unwanted media attention before the big day so the atmosphere wasn’t quite what she was expecting either. 

The word lacklustre seemed a good word to describe it all.  

Maid of Honour Caroline had been banned from most fun things when organising Kat’s last night of ‘freedom’. 

“She’s marrying one of the United Kingdom’s most eligible bachelors, not to mention the youngest Minister in the Government’s Cabinet. That doesn’t really go with the wholesome reputation she’s trying to portray, Care,” Bonnie offered, eating the olive from her martini. “Although, I think it’s a shame you can’t put those pole dancing moves we learned in Cabo to good use.”

“This is one pathetic stripper, just saying,” Rebekah offered, joining them at the bar and stealing Bonnie’s drink from her outstretched hands.

“I was on the other side of the world, I could only go by his rating on the internet,” Caroline argued. “Plus, I also had to find one who kept some clothes on and we all know what that means.”

“What’s underneath doesn’t match the whole package,” Bonnie finished. “We don’t need to tip him, do we?”

When Katherine called Caroline thirteen months earlier to say she was engaged to Elijah, Caroline couldn’t have been happier. They’d all met each other at private boarding school and had stayed in touch ever since and even though they seemed like opposites, Kat and Elijah complemented one another. 

Also, Katherine’s job as head neurosurgeon at one of London’s most prestigious private hospitals and her impressive family inheritance greatly helped matters when it came to swaying his parents on the engagement. 

The Mikaelsons. 

Mikael and Esther were extremely wealthy and well-connected in English society.  They came from family money and owned a large and impressive property portfolio spanning the entire globe and had sent their children to the best boarding school the US had to offer.  

Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire. 

Caroline wasn’t wealthy like the rest of her friends. She’d be lying if that fact didn’t make her feel somewhat inferior. Her father owned the local general store and, if it weren’t for her scholarship, Caroline would have ended up in public school. Not that she would have minded but her father insisted it was too good an opportunity to pass up. 

Attending the exclusive boarding school had been an adjustment to say the least and not just because of the ugly and uncomfortable uniforms they had to wear. Caroline was assigned to a room with three fellow students. 

Katherine Pierce, although the daughter of a talented cardiothoracic surgeon and a world class architect, was wild and impulsive and constantly in trouble with the dean for her indiscretions like sneaking out to meet boys and smoking on occasion. 

Bonnie Bennett was the gorgeous but serious high achiever whose parents owned one of the biggest publishing houses in the world. She was taught never to take anything for granted and work hard for what she wanted in life. 

Rebekah Mikaelson, while strong-willed and passionate, was the odd one out from the beginning. She made it her aim in life to drive the other girls crazy with her brittle personality and unwanted opinions. Although it took a while, and a few choice fights that needed to be broken up between her and Katherine, the girls became best friends. 

Rebekah’s brothers all attended the school at the same time but in different years with Elijah the eldest followed by Klaus then Kol and youngest sibling Rebekah.  

The Mikaelson boys and their best friend from home, Enzo St John, were definitely the most popular and sought after by the female student body. Caroline, not being one to conform, refused to play that game. She had no intention of stroking their egos any further, especially head womaniser Klaus. 

There was no doubting he was gorgeous, it ran in their family after all, but he knew it. 

Caroline found that she could have a fun time with Enzo, a deep and meaningful discussion with Elijah and a joke with Kol but when it came to Klaus all he did was tease her and rile her up. 

Of course she told herself it was because he was an immature idiot but wasn’t overly convinced it was the only reason given the looks she’d send his way when she knew no one was looking.  Caroline hoped whatever weird thing was happening would dissipate when they graduated. 

Kol and Bonnie had dated for a year at school, but apart from them they all stayed friends. So much so, that after they’d all graduated and gone their separate ways in life they still caught up for most significant occasions. 

This wedding being one of many. 

Katherine and Elijah had reconnected in Boston and, even though she always said he was too serious, they fell in love and were now on the verge of marriage. 

Caroline was so excited, if not about the bachelorette party. 

“Who are we kidding? I got the wild stuff out when you three were all too busy being good girls in boarding school,” she scoffed. Caroline wouldn’t admit it aloud but she had a point. “And there’s nothing stopping you three from getting up there with the stripper.” 

“Pass,” all three replied, looking up at him ominously. 

“How about we get out of here and see what the boys are up to?” Katherine suggested a twinkle in her brown eyes. 

“Because I think that defeats the purpose of a bachelorette party, Pierce,” Caroline drawled. “And this is Elijah, no offence but poker doesn’t sound all that exciting if you ask me.”

“Says the girl with the special poker skills,” Kat smiled deviously. “Klaus likes to think he’s the best player but we all know you could give him a run for his money. I’d say watching you fleece him is a fun way to spend an evening.”

Caroline had to admit angering the best man and her wedding partner certainly had its benefits. They’d seen each other in passing the previous day on arrival but otherwise hadn’t connected much recently because she was based on the West coast in Los Angeles and him on the East in New York City. 

He was the CEO of a prominent stockbroking firm and, by all reports, had been dating a Texan oil billionaire’s daughter and model, Hayley someone, for the past year.  

Okay, her surname was Marshall. 

She may have read a few editions of Page Six and seen them attending premieres and openings. She was sort of attractive.

Okay, she was gorgeous with big, brown doe eyes and a glossy chestnut mane and legs for days. 

Caroline told herself that she didn’t care more times than she could count but there was also something lingering beneath the surface with Klaus. She would have endeavoured to forget him after school had it not been for something that happened two years earlier and changed her opinion of him completely. 

Bastard.

And with that came the insecurity she hated. Even though she’d carved out a successful career as a human rights lawyer, she’d never fit into his life because she didn’t have a rich family or a huge inheritance like Hayley. Not that she cared but she knew his family did. 

She noticed her friends giving her weird looks, clearly she didn’t realise how much of a Klaus trance she’d descended into. 

“Sure. Why not?”

American Bar, Savoy Hotel, London 11:07pm 

“This is lame,” Kol scoffed, throwing his cards on the makeshift poker table. 

“He’s only saying that because he’s losing,” Enzo laughed, pulling the chips towards him greedily. 

“No, I’m saying that because this is no bachelor party,” he huffed, standing up and going to the bar to make himself another drink. “You couldn’t even organise one, measly stripper?”

As with the girls, the guys had hired out the venue for privacy reasons, not that they were actually doing anything untoward. 

Klaus had won the most money so far but he’d left the table to take a call from Hayley letting Enzo win a few rounds in his absence. She was arriving the next day for the wedding and was calling to check on the arrangements. 

Klaus was certain he’d told her multiple times but she was someone who liked things just right. But she also liked to call. 

A lot. 

At first he thought it was endearing but after a year he was starting to realise it was largely overkill. So too, her obsession with all things materialistic and celebrity and having to be at the opening of everything and anything. Klaus liked to keep more of a low profile if he could and that trait only reminded him of his parents and their chosen life together.

When he’d met her during a wild weekend in Miami, Klaus was immediately taken with her. He even thought it was love but decided that was just the tequila talking and it was most definitely lust. Klaus didn’t do relationships and he assumed she would be a momentary distraction until his parents had taken a strong liking to her.  Or more accurately to her wealth and family connections and future prospects for them. 

With Mikael and Esther it wasn’t much about love but what you did for a living and how much money your family had. Their marriage was case in point. 

Klaus wasn’t one to do what his parents told him but he’d long felt the black sheep given his secret paternity and decided it would be good to earn their favour for a change.  

There was also another reason to entertain the relationship, one that had made him realise that, no matter what, he was always going to have to settle for second best. 

“Are we interrupting anything?” Klaus looked up into the eyes of his future sister-in-law. He and Katherine had acted like siblings from the moment they met so to him her marriage to Elijah was inevitable.     

“Great!” Kol growled from his vantage point behind the bar. “Not only do I have to sit through this poor excuse for a party but now the girls have arrived.”

“Nice to see you too, Kol,” Bonnie said, raising her eyebrows. Although they’d dated over ten years ago everyone seemed to think something was still very much happening between them. 

“As much as I’m glad to see my beautiful fiance,” Elijah smiled, standing so he could pull her into his arms affectionately. “I’m not sure this is the done thing.”

“Oh, you mean like strippers, brother?” 

“You’re more than welcome to our stripper, Kol, we only left him in Mayfair about ten minutes ago so you might be able to catch him if you’re lucky,” Rebekah teased, swiping a few of Enzo’s prized chips from the table.

“Oi, woman!” He muttered, attempting to take it back while she squealed in response. 

Rebekah and Enzo had been play fighting since he was eleven and she was nine.  The rest of the group all knew it was unresolved tension that would finally sort itself out some day so were just waiting for it to click into place. 

“So, what you’re telling me is that the girls were allowed to have a stripper?” Clearly, Kol wasn’t letting this one go easily. 

“Oh would you please shut up, little brother, does it shock you that Elijah didn’t actually want one?” Klaus barked, his brother wearing on his last nerve. 

For the most part his gaze had been surreptitiously trained on the maid of honour.  Attired in a little, black dress that hugged her in all the right places it was incredibly distracting.  She was also wearing her hair just how he liked it, loose and a little wild. How many times had he imagined running his fingers through those waves? Too many to count.

Yes, Caroline Forbes was his dirty little secret. One that he had every intention of keeping because it would do him no good to reveal it. 

“I promise that when you get married I’ll book out an entire strip club,” Enzo offered, stealing the chip from Rebekah’s grasp while she wasn’t watching and sending her a triumphant smirk. “Happy?”

“Are we playing poker or what?” Caroline asked. This got his attention. Klaus looked over at her, his eyebrows cocked curiously. 

“You play poker, love?”

“I dabble,” she replied, taking a seat at the table. “I mean, I used to play with my grandpa when I was about ten. Pretty sure the rules haven’t changed much since then.” It would have been adorable if Klaus wasn’t so competitive by nature. 

“We are playing for real money here,” he warned, giving her one last chance to back out. “I mean I wouldn’t want to take advantage.” 

“I’m a big girl and can take care of myself,” she shot back. “So, just deal the cards, Mikaelson.” 

The others took their place and the game was restarted, even Kol seemed to have gotten out of his funk to play. The first hand went like this:

“All red,” Rebekah smiled triumphantly, laying her cards on the table. After betting her entire bank it was sufficed to say she was out from the get-go. 

“All red? Seriously, little sister? Can you please take her away Enzo and never let her play ever again,” Klaus muttered through gritted teeth. How were they even related?

Second hand ended in Katherine and Elijah being expelled for too much PDA at the poker table. Neither of the love birds minded a little time out in the corner. 

Third hand came down to a poor display of bluffing from Kol while Bonnie complained because all she wanted to do was play Go Fish because it was more entertaining.

Then there were two.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just give in, Forbes?” Klaus asked, leaning back lazily in his chair.  She was studying her cards carefully. Most hands she’d folded before betting anything and he was starting to realise she was too careful, much like the girl he knew in real life.   

“Give me a minute,” she hissed, fastening a loose wave behind her ear. Klaus could tell it was a sign of a bad hand but at the same time he wished he was the one to place it there. 

“Okay, I want three cards,” she asked, placing the discarded ones face down. 

“Maybe you should just fold, love?” He asked, partly because he was concerned but also because Klaus knew he was that accomplished. His straight flush was looking extremely good right now. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t tell me what to do, ass,” she offered, noting his shocked look in response. “I was just trying to counter your love with something equally fitting.”

“Fine,” he murmured trying to pretend not to feel dejected. “Three cards.”

She took them and again studied them closely. Meanwhile the rest of the group had gathered around, no doubt sensing this was their last hand and everyone could finally go home. 

“Okay, how about we stop beating around the bush and I just bet everything I have,” she said pushing it all into the middle. 

“You’re bluffing,” he blurted out, knowing it was impossible she had a hand to beat his flush. 

“I guess you’ll have to bet to find out,” she smiled. All he wanted to do was kiss it off her face and that was just for starters. He shook his head reminding himself that he needed to relax. 

“Call,” she said, her expression serious. They held each other’s gaze for a prolonged period, Klaus telling himself it was to try and read the poker signs but that wasn’t it at all. He suddenly realised that he could stare at her for hours and never tire. 

Not just hours, forever maybe.  

He cleared his throat knowing that everyone was now watching in anticipation. 

“Straight flush,” he grinned proudly, laying it out on the table. She gave it a brief look before placing hers next to his. 

“All red.” Given it was a ten, Jack, Queen, King and Ace of diamonds, also known as a royal flush, she was clearly being facetious. 

“You played me, Forbes.” He finally uttered amongst the cheers and Rebekah’s insistence that she must have had a winning hand all along. 

She pulled the chips towards her happily choosing not to respond immediately. His eyes were still trained on her though, desperate for some kind of response.

“And you underestimated me, Mikaelson,” she murmured. 

Yes. Maybe he had underestimated her and everything else.

TBC - Next part will be up tomorrow PM..there’s a chance encounter in the middle of the night, a rehearsal dinner and a slight wedding mishap before the big day. But let me know what you think so far : ) 

Follow on AO3 HERE

#all you never say #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline fanfic #klaroline #misssophiachase #what do you think #let me know #thanks anon #great prompt

[portmanteaurian]

So this year I, like a lot of people, was going through some stuff. And the way I coped, particularly over the summer, was by reading. I read between 275 and 300 books this year (final count pending), which is certainly the most I’ve done in at least a decade. And a lot of them were very good! I narrowed myself down to a list of forty recommendations, with short write-ups of ten, and made a point of not repeating authors. You can see everything else on my StoryGraph account though.

YA/MG:

The Beast Player - Nahoko Uehashi trans. Cathy Hirano

Death Sets Sail - Robin Stevens

Echo After Echo - A.R. Capetta

Half World - Hiromi Goto

A Phoenix First Must Burn: Sixteen Stories of Black Girl Magic, Resistance, and Hope - ed. Patrice Caldwell

Shadow of the Batgirl - Sarah Kuhn & Nicole Goux

A Song Below Water - Bethany C. Morrow

The Scapegracers - Hannah Abigail Clarke

YA contemporary fantasy is obviously a well-trodden genre, but this felt like a really fresh take. Sharp prose, interesting magic system, and a really fantastic and original-feeling POV character. I can’t wait for the sequel.

We Are Not Free - Traci Chee

This is a historical novel about residents of Japanese-American internment compounds during WWII, so it is not a light read. But it was powerfully emotionally affecting, and really compelling from a craft perspective as well; each chapter is narrated by a different character, and seeing how all the perspectives intersect is really remarkable.

ADULT FICTION (mostly spec):

A Choir of Lies - Alexandra Rowland

The City We Became - N.K. Jemisin

The Empress of Salt and Fortune - Nghi Vo

The Four Profound Weaves - R.B. Lemberg

Homesick: Stories - Nino Cipri

Master of Poisons - Andrea Hairston

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Phoenix Extravagant - Yoon Ha Lee

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

The Seep - Chana Porter

Skin Deep Magic - Craig Laurance Gidney

Stormsong - C.L. Polk

Freshwater - Akwaeke Emezi

One hell of a debut novel. Emezi has said it’s largely autobiographical, which makes it one of two really unique takes on autobiography and memoir that I’ve read this year. It’s about trauma, immigration, queerness, disability...I really just recommend you read it, though perhaps after checking a summary, as it deals very frankly with some potentially triggering subjects.

Not So Stories - ed. David Thomas Moore

This year I spent a lot of time with short stories and novellas, which is a little unusual for me. Several collections made a strong impression (there’s a few others on this list), but I adore the conceit of this one, which features a group of authors of colour responding to Kipling’s intensely colonial “Just So Stories” by writing new fables of their own. Some directly riff on Kipling’s tales, others go in entirely new directions, but all are really effective.

The Raven and the Reindeer - T Kingfisher

Kingfisher is one of those authors I discovered this year who I am shocked I had never read earlier. She’s prolific, works in genres I like, and is beloved by several of my friends. Consider this book a stand-in for her catalogue in general on this list, although of all the books by her I read it’s the only direct fairy-tale retelling. Really great take on Andersen’s Snow Queen

The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood

This was just a ton of fun. Very queer, frequently hilarious, in a totally bizarre fantasy world (worlds, even!) and with a great protagonist. Another really confident debut novel, and another one where I can’t wait to check out where the series goes from here.

NONFIC:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - Bessel van der Kolk

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the 21st Century - ed. Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space - Amanda Leduc

Distorted Descent: White Claims to Indigenous Identity - Darryl Leroux

In the Dream House - Carmen Maria Machado

The other unique memoir I alluded to above, Machado non-linearly unpacks an abusive relationship she experienced with incredible clarity and artfulness. As someone who’s experienced abuse, parts were very familiar, and Machado’s writing is very effective at laying a situation bare (a skill she uses to great effect in her short fiction as well). This book also has some of the most memorable and narratively impactful citations I have ever seen. Read it to understand how that’s the case.

The North-West is our Mother - Jean Teillet

This is straight-up a history book but it’s a very clear and engaging one. For people who’ve ever wanted to know more about Métis people and our history, particularly in the 19th and early-20th century, this is going to be one of my go-to recs. It’s a little sparser with the more recent stuff, but there are other books to fill that gap.

ROMANCE:

Band Sinister - K.J. Charles

The Doctor’s Discretion - E.E. Ottoman

Invitation to the Dance - Tamara Allen

Two Rogues Make a Right - Cat Sebastian

Silver in the Wood - Emily Tesh

A Taste of Honey - Kai Ashante Wilson

Behind These Doors - Jude Lucens

This year is really the first I’ve read romance in any serious way, but I did read a lot of it and learned a fair amount about what I like. This ticks a lot of those boxes (historical [Edwardian, in this case]! Gay! Engages honestly with social issues of the period!) while also being a story about people negotiating polyamory, with much of the conflict being rooted in how one effectively communicates with the people they care about. Really different from anything else I read, and really well-done.

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows - Olivia Waite

This is probably my favourite romance novel of the year. It’s a slow-burn Regency story about the relationship between two middle-aged working women, a beekeeper and a bookseller. It’s also a story about prejudice, mob mentality, and the intense class divide in Regency England -- the Peterloo massacre is a significant element, and the way that opposition to it brought together a coalition of different social groups that ultimately could not hold due to other prejudices dividing them. It’s really nuanced, and really effective. Also, I am assured by a lesbian friend that the sex scenes are very hot.

SO ANYWAY. A lot of recommendations, and more detail about some of the ones I most encourage people to pick up. Really in my opinion you can’t go wrong with any of these, though, and I hope you take a look at some next time you’re searching for something to read!

What a year, huh?

#dorian reads 2k20

[mikkomacko]

The Adventures of Harry and Penny

~~~~~

This is a series of fluffy moments between Harry and his family, particularly during quarantine in California. I thought it'd be nice to have a fun little mini series going on in the chaoticness of our lives. I hope you enjoy!

~

Their home in Los Angeles hasn't been lived in in quite some time. Of course it's still set up the way Harry designed and decorated it all those years ago when he was enjoying living on the coast. The mansion still housed him a few times out of the year, being his go to sanctuary when his first tour finished up. Of course he'd been itching to leave, only staying the few days he needed to in order to conclude the Live On Tour era before he was jetting off back to London to be with his wife and their newborn, so he didn't really clean up or take care of the house like he normally would've if he hadn't been in such a rush.

He didn't go back for awhile after that, choosing to hide out with his girls in their main home. Him and y/n had kept the pregnancy a secret, as well as the birth, so he couldn't exactly take the baby across the world with him whenever he was having some separation anxiety. For months he kept the trips to LA to a minimum, until they'd agreed it was time to share Penelope Styles with the world. The rush that hit them after announcing the baby also kept him out of LA, not wanting Penelope to be bombarded.

In fact, the first time she stayed in the house in America was for Fine Line Live at the Forum, but again it was a brief stay. Him and y/n wanted their daughter to have a stable home, to grow up as normally as possible with the last name that turns heads on every corner of the planet, so they'd gone back to England as soon as possible.

The second time Penelope's taken into the old home is completely unplanned and not exactly welcome. Harry just needed to visit for a few days, get some things regarding the new tour and promo settled, and he'd sworn all over his future grave that he'd be back home safe and sound just in time for the UK to go into quarantine. Luckily, y/n has a gift for sensing bad luck, and she ignored his arguing and grumbling as she packed a bag for Penelope and herself, leaving a key in the hideaway spot in case Gemma needed to come check on the house for them. "Don't know when we'll be back." She told Harry breezily, even though it pissed him off. Did she really not trust him?

She usually did, but he was glad she hadn't this time, otherwise he'd be holed up in their California home by himself while his girls were tucked away together in London. Glad as he was that y/n took matters into her own hands and hijacked his trip to LA, he still grimaces as he enters the plain old house, nose itching at the dust and eyes fighting to adjust to the darkness.

"Ew daddy," Penelope mumbles, turning her head into his shoulder to peek back at her mumma. Y/n pushes around Harry, her own nose twitching in the must, but she still starts pulling back curtains and tugging open windows.

"Don't worry petal," Harry promises, bouncing the almost two year old on his hip, "daddy will make it feel like home huh?"

Penelope looks at him apprehensively, watching her mumma move around to make the living room easy to live in while her daddy just stands there. "Don't think so."

Y/n giggles at that, making Harry scoff. He'll certainly do the best he can.

~

The coffee pot drips, the bedroom fan upstairs whirls, and Penny smacks on her oatmeal in Harry's ear as he attempts to video chat his mother. He's trying to be quite for the sake of his wife, wanting her to have a nice sleep in, but with the way the toddler in his lap is loudly chatting with her Nana, Harry has a feeling she'll be down any moment.

"So you're enjoying it then? Being in LA?" Anne asks, sipping out of her favorite tea mug. It's a little porcelain white one, molding into two black cat ears at the rim with whiskers and a pink nose painted on the side, leading to the tail shaped handle that has meow engraved on it. It was a Christmas gift y/n picked out back when they'd just started dating, and while Harry found it a bit tacky and insisted he wasn't putting it in the goody box they were gifting her, y/n snuck it in. Again, she knew better than him because his mum fell in love with it immediately.

"Yeah, weather's warmer here so we're having a blast in the backyard aren't we sweetheart?" He bounces his knee, catching Penelope's attention. Of course she's been listening to her daddy speak all along, and she doesn't hesitate to mumble her agreement.

"That's nice," Anne hums, "s'been a bit warm here lately too. Enjoy coming out to the garden with my babies."

Harry refrains from rolling his eyes, but not the amused curl of his lips. "They're cats mum, not babies."

She scoffs, mug clanking as she sets it on the outdoor table stationed in the garden she loves oh so much. One of the cats, a new one with deep orange fur leaps up onto her lap. "Oh hush Harry, you're hurting their feelings!"

"Rusty," Penelope calls, and the cats ears twitch. How his baby knows the name of this cat is beyond him but he assumes y/n must have told her after Anne undoubtedly tweeted about the little feline.

"That's right darling, you know Rusty." Anne coos encouragingly, and Penelope preens under the attention just like Rusty preens under Anne's scratching fingers.

"Mumma know Rusty," Penelope says like a matter of fact, wiggling around in Harry's lap so she's facing his chest. He fishes the dish towel off the counter, wiping her mouth clean. Huffing, he tosses it over his shoulder towards the laundry room, feeling guilty that y/n just managed to wash all the linen in the house and they've already dirtied it up. He'll just wash it himself, that way she can relax.

"Speaking of, where's my daughter?"

Harry still smiles at the name, proud of the reminder that his mother loves her so much, even though she's been called that long before the two we're even engaged. "Still sleeping. House was a bloody mess when we got here, kept this one busy-" he pats at Penelope's bum "while she managed to make it habitable."

Penelope lays her head on his bare chest, forehead nudging the cross necklace that rests in the light dusting of chest hair he's got growing. "Habible?" She huffs confused, and both Harry and Anne chuckle fondly.

"Means we can live here comfortably now, yeah?" He explains, peaking down at her. "Nice warm bed with clean blankets, lots of food, little play area for ya?"

"Oh," she nods.

"You really should take better care of that place Harry." Anne informs him, tone bordering on scolding. "At least send someone to keep up with it or rent it out. Does no good just sitting there."

"Just what I need, some stranger paying to stay in my house."

"You know what I mean." Anne replies breezily. "S'not nice to have your wife cleaning up after you two every minute of every day. She's only got one child you know, and it's the little one drooling on you."

Harry bites back his smirk. "What's that saying? A boyfriend's like a first child?"

Unimpressed, she sips her tea. "You're her husband, not her boyfriend."

"That just means I'm further down the line of boyfriend-ness therefore further down the line of childishness."

"Oh you're childish alright." Anne bites back, and he laughs. Despite his arguing and teasing, he knows she's right so he relents.

"I know mum, gonna take better care of the house. Never realized how unfit of a home it was untill it had to house my girls." Penelope perks up, reaching to cling to his neck.

"Can I wake mumma?"

Harry shakes his head, stroking her hair back. "We're letting mumma rest alright, today's you and me yeah? Can do whatever you'd like."

Pleased with being in charge of their activities today, she snuggles back into his neck. He swears she gets her clinginess from her mum, but he really knows it's all him. And he couldn't be prouder.

"What have we been doing to keep us busy?" Anne hums, and Harry wonders if she's just making conversation or wanting to take suggestions on how to pass the time. He frowns, thinking of her all by herself and he wishes he'd just listened to y/n so they could be holed up in Holmes Chapel.

Shaking the thought of her being lonely off, Harry mentally goes through the past few days. They'd rearranged Penelope's room, making it resemble her one at home, ordered some toys online as well decorations for her little area, went on lots of walks, raked the grass in the backyard so they could play in it, but what sticks out the most is how much they've eaten. He glances down at his baby, knowing they're both sporting pudgy bellies from all the fruit snacks and mini muffins they've been gobbling down.

"Ehh," Harry breathes, trying to think of something other than pigging out, "just trying to make the place feel as close to home as possible. Thinking of painting Penny's room."

He actually wasn't thinking that but he knows his mother's been looking for a sign to repaint her own bedroom and this could be it. And maybe he should paint Penelope's room. Her one back in London is a nice lavender color.

"That's wonderful! Maybe I should do mine too?" Harry smiles triumphantly, nodding.

"Now's a good time for it," he agrees, and Penelope turns back around his lap so she can finish the last couple cold bites of oatmeal.

"Alright then! Send pictures when your done and I'll do the same!"

"I'll probably catch it on Instagram before you can remember to send them to me."

~

"More flowers," Penelope orders softly, tapping her finger against the mask Harry's got stretched out under his left hand. "Please?" She adds after he side eyes her, and then he's grinning, happily drawing a floppy pink flower. Harry ordered her a reusable one a few days ago that'll make her look like she's got cat whiskers and a nose, but until it arrives she's stuck with the disposable one from the store.

"You could just put one of your bandanas around her." Y/n suggests from the kitchen, tightening the lid on Harry's water bottle before packing it into his bag.

"My own mumma!" Penelope sighs as if it's obsurd for her to share anything more than a bloodline with her father. DNA strand? That's fine. Bubble baths? Yes please. The king size bed upstairs? Most definitely. Harry's bandana? Way over the line.

Harry's lips curl in amusement but he shrugs at his wife. "It'll be too big on her little face anyway." He reasons, capping the marker and tossing it into the pencil box he'd brought down from the junk room.

Penelope knees her way into his lap, forcing him to push the chair back so she's not squished against the table. "Finished daddy? I can wear it now?" She asks, bouncing eagerly on his thighs. He nods, reaching around her to grab the mask off the table and present it to her. Squealing excitedly, she clambers down to the dining room floor, running around the counter to go show y/n.

"Mumma look! Look what daddy draws!"

Y/n gasps, crouching down to squish Penelope's face between her hands. "You look so beautiful Penny!" His daughter squeals happily making Harry's smug smirk grow. Pushing himself up from the dining table, he grabs the packed backpack off the counter, throwing it over both his shoulders.

"Ready to go darlings?"

Y/n nods, tying her own bandana around her neck before leading Penelope towards the front door, Harry trailing behind. "Want my treat people mumma."

"S'too hot for a hoodie sweetheart." Y/n declines, dropping to her knees to help Penelope put on her little Nike shoes. Penelope's little hands hold her mum's shoulders for balance, lips drooping to a frown as she pouts at Harry.

"Daddy's got his."

"Daddy's crazy love."

Harry scoffs, hooking his thumbs into the straps of the bag and now he's pouting too. "M'not crazy," he defends, "let her wear her jumper. If it gets too hot we'll just take it off." Penelope beams at him and he's off towards the coat closet before y/n can even respond. He pulls her little grey pullover off the hangar, jumping in shock when he turns around and she's standing behind him. Bouncing on her toes, she throws her arms up so Harry can slip the fabric over her head.

"Thanks daddy," she says politely, running her fingers over the embroidered letters that spell out 'Treat People With Kindess' while her other hand takes a hold of his pinky and ring finger. "Hike now?"

"Hike now." He nods, returning to the front door where y/n is waiting with pursed lips. Grinning, he presses a kiss to her cheek while reaching for the door knob. "She'll be fine. Not gonna let my lucky Penny get heat stroke." He tugs the door open, nudging y/n out first with a hand on her lower back. Penelope follows, tugging him along. He has enough time to close and lock the door before she's impatiently squeezing his fingers.

"You're being slow," she complains, and y/n giggles as she pulls Penelope's mask over her little nose, "I don't want to be payshun." Harry rolls his eyes, pulling his own bandana over his lower face, hiding the endeared smile that takes over his lips. He loves when Penelope slurs or mispronounces her words. Reminds him that she's still just a new human and he's the one that gets to teach her and raise her and love her.

"Alright, alright, we're going." He surrenders, taking y/n's hand in his free one. They're 'hike' is really just a walk a few blocks down so they can have a picnic overlooking the water, but he supposes for Penelope's little legs it's like hiking Mount Everest. He reminds himself of that when he has to pick her up and carry her for the second half of the walk because her legs are tiny and tired. He doesn't mind though. She's his little human. He'd carry her everywhere for the rest of her life if she let him, no questions asked. Because she's his lucky Penny.

~

Harry's tugging down his side of the bedsheets when it happens and it makes his heart leap into his throat, panic settling in it's place in his chest. Penelope's scream has him dropping the blankets, immediately taking off towards the bedroom door. She's just running out of her own bedroom when Harry steps into the hallway, dropping to pick her up when she blubbers his name.

"What happened moppet? Are ya hurt?"

She buries her head into his neck, jabbing a finger towards her bedroom. Y/n makes her presence known with a gentle hand on his back, easing his racing heart when she softly shushes Penelope. Harry walks to the doorway, leaning forward to peek his head inside. Penelope clings to him tighter, whimpering softly.

"By my bed daddy."

Not spotting any threats in her room, Harry relaxes as he looks towards her bed. The blankets are ruffled and thrown back, her stuffed kangaroo, Mikey laying on the pillow where he'd tucked it in next to her not too long ago.

"There's nothing there petal." Harry soothes, rubbing his fingers over her back. Y/n moves back her blankets, picks up her stuffies, pats down her pillows and nothing. Penelope peels herself away from him to look around, eyes red rimmed and watery. Y/n pats the last pillow, her hand barely smacking it before something is fluttering up from the fabric. Penelope screeches, face returning to his neck and fingers clawing at his shoulder.

"There!" She cries, squirming closer like she's desperately trying to disappear into Harry's chest. The moth flutters around the fairy lights above her bed, landing gracefully on the shelf of toys. "It flies!"

Refraining from giggling over how cute his lucky Penny is, Harry hands her over to y/n. She curls into her mom, grabbing Mikey from her hand and burying her face in his neck. "Alright, alright, I'll get it." Harry assures, climbing up on her bed. Cupping his hand, Harry closes his fingers around the bug, waiting for it's fluttering to tickle his palms before pulling them off the shelf and sealing his fingers together.

"Wanna see him Penny? Can show you he's not scary." Harry offers but that was the wrong thing to say because she cracks into hysterical cries. Y/n swats his arm, bouncing Penelope while he tugs open her bedroom window, releasing the moth into the night air and quickly shutting it again.

"The moth is gone Penny, daddy got rid of him." Y/n assures, prompting Penny to turn her teary eyes to Harry. He holds his hands up to show her it's gone, and while she relaxes a little bit, her eyes still flicker over her bedroom apprehensively. She whines something neither of them can understand, reaching out for Harry to hold her. He gladly takes her in his arms, rubbing her back while y/n shuts off the fairy lights.

"Wanna sleep with us tonight sweetheart?" Y/n offers. Penelope nods, laying her head on his shoulder and sniffling. He carries her to their bedroom, plopping her down right in the middle so she can be snuggled by her mum and dad tonight. Climbing under the blankets next to her, Harry wipes her wet cheeks and gives both her and Mikey a kiss on the nose. Y/n turns out the lights except for the little nightlight in the corner and then she crawls in next to them as well.

They're not even in bed for more than ten seconds before Penelope is laying her head on Harry's chest, stretching her feet out over y/n's tummy and murmuring, "can we watch Ariel?"

Y/n and Harry share a look, both of them reliving too many hours spent watching The Little Mermaid but Harry pulls the movie up anyway, kissing Penelope's head and reaching over to hold y/n's hand. He falls asleep to the sound of Penelope mumbling the words to all the songs, thinking that she one day might give him a run for his money with that voice of hers. Maybe they'll even write songs together. Until then, they've got many more adventures to come.

#The Adventures of Harry and Penny #harry styles #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #dad harry styles #quarantine #husband harry #daddy harry #dad harry

[to-read-or-not-to-read3088]

70+ disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill authors COLLAB

This post is in collaboration with several other bloggers whose links are included here:

Artie Carden

Anniek

Hi! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but this post has been a month in the making. I have twenty books by twenty authors for my part in this collaboration, and you can check out the other parts of the collab with the links at the top of the post.

I haven’t read some of these books but almost all of them are on my to be read pile, and I did extensive research to make sure I got this right, but please let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything needs to be corrected.

1. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

📷

Meet Cute Diary follows Noah Ramirez who thinks he’s an expert on romance. He must be for his blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem. All the stories are fake. What started off as the fantasies of a trans boy who was afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe. Noah’s world unravels when a troll exposes the blog as fiction, and the only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. That’s when Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place. Drew is willing to fake date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realises that dating in real life isn’t the same as finding love on the page.

The author, Emery Lee, is a kid lit author, artist and YouTuber hailing from a mixed racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll likely find em engaged in art or snuggling with cute dogs.

Emery Lee is nonbinary, and uses e/em pronouns, and e’s debut book, Meet Cute Diary, features a side character who is also nonbinary (and asexual!). Emery is also neurodivergent, and frequently speaks about what its like being a writer with adhd on twitter.

Meet Cute Diary is a book I only discovered last month, when it was published, but I’m excited to read it. It has representation of all kinds, and I love any book that has even a little mention of an asexual character because its so rare to see.

2. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

📷

At Niveus Private Academy money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because an anonymous texter calling themselves Aces, is bringing two students’ dark secrets to light. Devon, a talented musician, buries himself in rehearsals, but he can’t escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Chiamaka, head girl, isn’t afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they’re planning much more than a high school game.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, is the author of the instant New York Times and IndieBound bestseller, Ace of Spades, billed as ‘Get out meets Gossip Girl’. Entertainment Weekly has called it “this summer’s hottest YA debut”. She was born and raised in Croydon, South London, and Faridah moved to the Scottish Highlands for her undergraduate degree where she completed a BA in English Literature. She has established and runs and mentorship scheme for unagented writers of colour, helping them on their journey to get published. Faridah has also written for NME, The Bookseller, Readers Digest and gal-dem.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé’s book is one that I pre-ordered months in advance, after discovering that I actually really liked this sub-genre of YA, and although I still haven’t read it yet (sorry!), I’m still super excited to dive into it. From what I hear, it has some gay rep, which we all know by now is something I seek out in my books.

3. Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

📷

Priya has worked hard to pursue her pre med dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her straight back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey and leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to return to the way things were. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones,” a virtual support group that meets on Discord to crack jokes and vent about their own chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something very out of character; she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the creature that’s shut in the basement. With Brigid nowhere in sight, Priya begins to puzzle together an impossible but obvious truth: the creature might be werewolf – and the werewolf might be Brigid. As Brigid’s unique condition worsens, their friendship will be deepened and challenged in unexpected ways, forcing them to reckon with their own ideas of what it means to be normal.

Kristen O’Neal is a freelance writer who’s written for sites like Buzzfeed Reader, Christianity Today, Birth.Movies.Death, LitHub and Electric Literature. She writes about faith, culture, and unexplained phenomena. Her debut novel, Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses is based on her own experiences with being chronically ill. Kristen has two autoimmune disorders and “a number of other problems and issues” with her body. According to her website, she is doing much better than she used to, but still has flares somewhat regularly.

I cannot describe the feeling of seeing a published book with the best group chat name I have ever seen. Oof ouch my bones is absolutely something that I would be part of if it really existed, because its just such a mood, and funny at the same time. I pre ordered this book too, but like all the others, I still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’m super excited about it though and cannot recommend it enough.

4. Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

📷

Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends, and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realises it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds out that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and to be honest, a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

Sophie Gonzales was born and raised in Whyalla, South Australia, where the Outback Meets the Sea. She now lives in Melbourne, where there’s no outback in sight. Sophie’s been writing since the age of five, when her mother decided to help her type out one of the stories she had come up with in the bathtub. They ran into artistic differences when five-year-old Sophie insisted that everybody die in the end, while her mother wanted the characters to simply go out for a milkshake. Since then, Sophie has been completing her novels without a transcript. Sophie Gonzales tweets about her experiences with ADHD on her twitter.

Only mostly devasted is one of the few books on this list that I’ve read. I read the whole thing in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down, which is weird because I normally don’t read contemporary at all. I have recommended this book to literally everyone I know, and even bought my best friend a copy to convince her to read it.

5. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd Jones

📷

Seventeen-year-old Aderyn ("Ryn") only cares about two things: her family, and her family's graveyard. And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meagre existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead. The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good? Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

Emily Lloyd-Jones grew up on a vineyard in rural Oregon, where she played in evergreen forests and learned to fear sheep. After graduating from Western Oregon University with an English degree, she enrolled in the publishing program at Rosemont College just outside of Philadelphia. She currently resides in Northern California.

Another book on my to be read pile that I’m super excited to read, but still haven’t gotten around to. This one features disability rep, but because I haven’t read it, I don’t know much more, sorry guys.

6. Mooncakes by Susanne Walker and Wendy Xu

📷Nova Huang knows more about magic than your average teen witch. She works at her grandmothers' bookshop, where she helps them loan out spell books and investigate any supernatural occurrences in their New England town. One fateful night, she follows reports of a white wolf into the woods, and she comes across the unexpected: her childhood crush, Tam Lang, battling a horse demon in the woods. As a werewolf, Tam has been wandering from place to place for years, unable to call any town home. Pursued by dark forces eager to claim the magic of wolves and out of options, Tam turns to Nova for help. Their latent feelings are rekindled against the backdrop of witchcraft, untested magic, occult rituals, and family ties both new and old in this enchanting tale of self-discovery.

Suzanne Walker is a Chicago-based writer and editor. She is co-creator of the Hugo-nominated graphic novel Mooncakes (2019, Lion Forge/Oni Press). Her short fiction has been published in Clarkesworld and Uncanny Magazine, and she has published nonfiction articles with Uncanny Magazine, StarTrek.com, Women Write About Comics, and the anthology Barriers and Belonging: Personal Narratives of Disability. She has spoken at numerous conventions on a variety of topics ranging from disability representation in sci-fi/fantasy to comics collaboration.

Wendy Xu is a Brooklyn-based illustrator and comics artist. She is co-creator of and currently draws the webcomic Mooncakes. Her work has been featured on Tor.com, as part of the Chinese American: Exclusion/Inclusion exhibit permanently housed at the Chinese Historical Society of America, and in Shattered: The Asian American Comics Anthology. She occasionally teaches at the Asian American Writers Workshop and currently works as an assistant editor curating young adult and children’s books.

Suzanne Walker suffers from hearing loss, something that she wrote into her graphic novel, Mooncakes, making Nova hard of hearing. I read this in a few years ago as an advance reader copy for Netgalley and it was honestly one of the best graphic novels I have ever read. The main characters are Chinese American, queer AND magic, which is an amazing combination of representation.

7. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

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Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager A runaway with a privileged past A spy known as the Wraith A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

Leigh Bardugo is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of fantasy novels and the creator of the Grishaverse (now a Netflix original series) which spans the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, The Language of Thorns, and King of Scars—with more to come. Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including the Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Her other works include Wonder Woman: Warbringer and Ninth House (Goodreads Choice Winner for Best Fantasy 2019) which is being developed for television by Amazon Studios.

Leigh grew up in Southern California and graduated from Yale University. These days she lives and writes in Los Angeles.

In the acknowledgements section of Six of Crows, Bardugo reveals she suffers from osteonecrosis and sometimes needs to use a cane; this was a source of inspiration for one of the story's six protagonists, master thief and gang boss Kaz Brekker, who uses a cane.

I read Six of Crows a few years ago and I really loved it. I’m not going to pretend I managed to finish the whole Grishaverse series, because I haven’t even gotten close yet, but it really showed Kaz’s struggles with his disability, and his mental health. This is part of a duology, and the duology is part of a large series of books with another duology and trilogy, but Six of Crows can be read without reading the others.

8. Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh

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This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So, I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Allie is an American blogger, writer and comic artist best known for her blog in the form of a webcomic Hyperbole and a Half. Brosh started Hyperbole in 2009 and told stories from her life in a mix of text and intentionally crude illustrations. She has published two books telling stories in the same style, both of which have been New York Times bestsellers. Brosh lives with severe depression and ADHD, and her comics on depression have won praise from fans and mental health professionals.

Another book on my tbr that I just haven’t gotten around to but really want to.

9. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

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What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just must find the extraordinary in your ordinary life. Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions...

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for England’s Radio 4 and Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls. He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Patrick Ness has written about OCD and anxiety in at least two of his books, inspired by his own experiences with the two disorders and how it affects him (The Rest of Us Just Live Here & Release)

10. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire

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Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.

Seanan lives in an idiosyncratically designed labyrinth in the Pacific Northwest, which she shares with her cats, Alice and Thomas, a vast collection of creepy dolls and horror movies, and sufficient books to qualify her as a fire hazard. She has strongly held and oft-expressed beliefs about the origins of the Black Death, the X-Men, and the need for chainsaws in daily life.

Years of writing blurbs for convention program books have fixed Seanan in the habit of writing all her bios in the third person, to sound marginally less dorky. Stress is on the "marginally." It probably doesn't help that she has so many hobbies.

Seanan was the winner of the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and her novel Feed (as Mira Grant) was named as one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2010. In 2013 she became the first person ever to appear five times on the same Hugo Ballot.

Seanan McGuire has an invisible disability due to herniated disks in her spine. She is slowly coming to terms with this, and talks about it occasionally on her twitter, and about the struggles she faces.

I loved this book, and so did my best friend. We both read it in one sitting and talked nonstop about it afterwards. Although short, its filled with amazing characters, plot, and representation (asexual character!!)

11. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honour they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead 📷of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Natasha Ngan is a writer and yoga teacher. She grew up between Malaysia, where the Chinese side of her family is from, and the UK. This multicultural upbringing continues to influence her writing, and she is passionate about bringing diverse stories to teens. Ngan studied Geography at the University of Cambridge before working as a social media consultant and fashion blogger. She lives in France with her partner, where they recently moved from Paris to be closer to the sea. Her novel Girls of Paper and Fire was a New York Times bestseller. Natasha has a heart condition, and talks about her struggles with her health, and gives updates on her health and her books on twitter.

I’ve heard a lot about this book, but for trigger warning reasons it sadly isn’t on my to be read list. Everything I’ve heard about it says its an amazing book though, and the cover is beautiful.

12. Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

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Three friends, two love stories, one convention: this fun, feminist love letter to geek culture is all about fandom, friendship, and finding the courage to be yourself. Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favourite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Jen Wilde is the YA author of QUEENS OF GEEK, THE BRIGHTSIDERS and GOING OFF SCRIPT. She writes unapologetically queer stories about geeks, rockstars, and fangirls who smash the patriarchy in their own unique ways. Her books have been praised in Teen Vogue, Buzzfeed, Autostraddle, Vulture and Bustle. Originally from Australia, Jen now lives in NYC where she spends her time writing, drinking too much coffee and binging reality TV.

Researching for this collab was the first time this book popped up on my radar as something I might be interested in reading. Jen Wilde, the author, is herself autistic and suffers from anxiety, which gives the narrative “authenticity that is lacking in similar books” according to socialjusticebooks.org.

13. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

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Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So, she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s co-worker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta.

Becky Albertalli has generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), and has spoken about it in several interviews, which you can find online. She has also written several characters in her books who also suffer with anxiety. Her first book, Simon vs the Homosapien’s Agenda (or Love, Simon), is the only book of hers that I have read so far, and I loved it. It was the first contemporary book that I read and actually enjoyed.

14. Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

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Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s current gift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows. Akos is the son of a farmer and an oracle from the frozen nation-planet of Thuvhe. Protected by his unusual currentgift, Akos is generous in spirit, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. Then Akos is thrust into Cyra's world, and the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. Will they help each other to survive, or will they destroy one another?

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Divergent series (Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant, and Four: A Divergent Collection), the Carve the Mark duology (Carve the Mark, the Fates Divide), The End and Other Beginnings collection of short fiction, and many short stories and essays. Her first book for adult audiences, Chosen Ones, is out now. She lives in Chicago.

Veronica Roth suffers from anxiety, like a lot of the authors on this list, and talks about it in interviews. A quote from one: "I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I've been to therapy on and off throughout, before books and after books. I went back and tried to talk through some of the things I was feeling and experiencing, and it was helpful."

I’ve never read any of her books, not even the hugely famous Divergent trilogy, though they’ve been on my radar for years. I’d love to get into her books at some point, but it might take me a few years.

15. How to be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe

📷An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism. Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity. As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathise with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’. This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion. ‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’ Charlotte Amelia Poe is a self-taught artist and writer living in Lowestoft, Suffolk. They also work with video and won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize with the film they submitted, 'How to Be Autistic’. Myriad published Charlotte's memoir, How to Be Autistic, in September 2019.

Another book I didn’t know about until researching for this post, but I really want to read it because I haven’t read many books about autism, and practically none of them were actually written by someone who actually is autistic. Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

16. Ask me about my Uterus by Abby Norman

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For any woman who has experienced illness, chronic pain, or endometriosis comes an inspiring memoir advocating for recognition of women's health issues In the fall of 2010, Abby Norman's strong dancer's body dropped forty pounds and grey hairs began to sprout from her temples. She was repeatedly hospitalized in excruciating pain, but the doctors insisted it was a urinary tract infection and sent her home with antibiotics. Unable to get out of bed, much less attend class, Norman dropped out of college and embarked on what would become a years-long journey to discover what was wrong with her. It wasn't until she took matters into her own hands--securing a job in a hospital and educating herself over lunchtime reading in the medical library--that she found an accurate diagnosis of endometriosis. In Ask Me About My Uterus, Norman describes what it was like to have her pain dismissed, to be told it was all in her head, only to be taken seriously when she was accompanied by a boyfriend who confirmed that her sexual performance was, indeed, compromised. Putting her own trials into a broader historical, sociocultural, and political context, Norman shows that women's bodies have long been the battleground of a never-ending war for power, control, medical knowledge, and truth. It's time to refute the belief that being a woman is a pre-existing condition.

Abby Norman’s debut book, ASK ME ABOUT MY UTERUS: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain, was published by Bold Type Books (Hachette Book Group) in 2018, with advance praise from Gillian Anderson, Lindsey Fitzharris, Jenny Lawson, and Padma Lakshmi.

The book was praised by The New York Times Book Review, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, The Sunday Times, The Irish Times, Literary Review, The Times Literary Supplement, The New Republic, Book Riot, Toronto Star, ELLE, Health Magazine, Undark Magazine, BUST Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Ms. Magazine, BBC Radio 5, and other international media outlets.

​In 2019, the paperback edition was published in the U.S. and the Korean translation in Seoul (Momento Publishing/Duran Kim Agency).

​Her work has been featured in Harper’s, Medium, The Independent, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Mental Floss, Atlas Obscura, and elsewhere. Interviews and profiles have been seen and heard, including NPR/WNYC, BBC, Anchor.fm, The New York Times, Playboy, Forbes, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Bitch Magazine.

Abby Norman suffers from endometriosis, which was a large part of why she wrote her book, and why she advocates so hard for fellow patients at conferences such as Stanford University’s Stanford Medicine X and the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s medical conference and Patient Day. She is

Abby has served on technical expert panels including the National Partnership for Women and Families’ CORE Network (Yale University), the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid, The Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR), and Health Affairs.

​In 2019, Abby contributed to a paper addressing research gaps and unmet needs in endometriosis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

This book is definitely one I will be adding to my to be read list, as someone who (unfortunately) also has a uterus, it is important to be informed. And Abby sounds like such a badass who wrote a whole book about her chronic illness to help others with the same condition.

17. Stim: Autistic Anthology by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

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Around one in one hundred people in the UK are autistic, yet there remains a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism is. It is rare that autistic people get to share their own experiences, show how creative and talented and passionate they are, how different they are from media stereotypes. This insightful and eye-opening collection of essays, fiction and visual art showcases the immense talents of some of the UK's most exciting writers and artists - who just happen to be on the spectrum. Here they reclaim the power to speak for themselves and redefine what it means to be autistic. Stim invites the reader into the lives, experiences, minds of the eighteen contributors, and asks them to recognise the hurdles of being autistic in a non-autistic world and to uncover the empathy and understanding necessary to continue to champion brilliant yet unheard voices.

Lizzie (Hux) Huxley-Jones is an autistic author and editor based in London. They are the editor of Stim, an anthology of autistic authors and artists, which was published by Unbound in April 2020 to coincide with World Autism Awareness Week. They are also the author of the children’s biography Sir David Attenborough: A Life Story. They can be found editing at independent micropublisher 3 of Cups Press, and they also advise writers as a freelance sensitivity reader and consultant. In their past career lives, they have been a research diver, a children’s bookseller and digital communications specialist.

I wasn’t even aware that there was an anthology out there by an autistic author, about autism, but now that I do I need to read it.

18. Chimera by Jaecyn Bonê

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Creatures unlike you've imagined before! Welcome to a world where myths and legends collide to create a new breed of monster. Savage and soulful, these monstrosities combine to form the mighty Chimera. In this anthology, talented writers weave 10 tales of fantastical beasts. Featuring stories by: Matt Bliss Jaecyn Boné Alexis L. Carroll Chris Durston Dewi Hargreaves Stephen Howard Samuel Logan Vincent Metzo Braden Rohl Michelle Tang

Jaecyn is a queer, non-binary, disabled Asian-American writer and digital artist fascinated by faeries.

Most of their writing involves wlw romance and faery-inspired creatures. Their first novel, Farzana's Spite is a 10-year-old work in progress and the first novel in The Faerth series. Other works include The Killing Song (novel) and Colour Unknown (short), both of which are also part of the Faerth universe.

Jaecyn's art can be described as a neorealistic pop art style with cel shading. They began their digital art journey with a 5-year-old refurbished iPad using their finger as a stylus and immediately fell in love. They do digital download commissions as well as sell prints of their artwork.

Jaecyn is the Co-Editor in Chief of the Limeoncello Magazine, an online Own Voices literary magazine which debuted its first issue on March 21st, 2021.

When not writing, drawing, or chasing after their two children, they can be found either gardening or practicing their ukulele.

None of Jaecyn Boné’s books are published yet as they are still in the stage of querying, but they contributed to the above anthology, along with nine other authors. I had no idea that this anthology existed, and now I’ll be closely following this author to see when their books get published!

19. Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack 📷and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soul guide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soul guide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

Lori M. Lee is the author of speculative novels and short stories. Her books include PAHUA AND THE SOUL STEALER (Disney/Rick Riordan Presents), FOREST OF SOULS and the sequel BROKEN WEB (Page Street), and more. She’s also a contributor to the anthologies A THOUSAND BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS and COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES. She considers herself a unicorn fan, enjoys marathoning TV shows, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family.

Lori struggles with anxiety, and the common symptoms like fatigue but she doesn’t let this stop her writing amazing books. I read Forest of Souls earlier this year, and it was seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. I loved the magic, the characters, the world building. Everything about it, including the plot twist ending that had me losing my mind at 2am, was just so unlike anything I had read in any other fantasy before.

20. A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A Brown

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For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death?

Roseanne “Rosie” A. Brown was born in Kumasi, Ghana and immigrated to the wild jungles of central Maryland as a child. Writing was her first love, and she knew from a young age that she wanted to use the power of writing—creative and otherwise—to connect the different cultures she called home. She graduated from the University of Maryland with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and was also a teaching assistant for the school’s Jiménez-Porter Writers’ House program. Her journalistic work has been featured by Voice of America among other outlets.

On the publishing side of things, she has worked as an editorial intern at Entangled Publishing. Rosie was a 2017 Pitch Wars mentee and 2018 Pitch Wars mentor. Rosie currently lives outside Washington D.C., where in her free time she can usually be found wandering the woods, making memes, or thinking about Star Wars.

Roseanne is another author that struggles with anxiety and wrote one of her two main characters with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), despite it being a fantasy. I don’t even think I can name a fantasy that had a character with anxiety represented so well. This was a book I read around the same time as Forest of Souls, and I loved it. The cover was beautiful, the characters were brilliant, and I just loved the world building, the magic, and the plot. It was just different to the usual fantasy books I read, and I enjoyed the variation so much I’ve had the sequel pre ordered almost a year in advance.

So, this was my 20 books by 20 chronically ill, disabled or neurodiverse authors list. Blurbs and synopsis were compiled between Goodreads and author websites, and bios were found either on Goodreads, author websites or on amazon author pages. All the information about their chronic illnesses, disabilities or neurodivergence was found online, where they had either explicitly said it or written about it, but if I have something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

If you have any other suggestions or know any other books and authors that should be on this list, please let me know and I’ll do my best to add it to the list as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading 😊

#bookblr #reviews #recs #books

[aboutcaseyaffleck]

Actor Casey Affleck Reflects On The Past And 'The World To Come'

The last time I saw Casey Affleck was after an 8:30 a.m. Sundance Film Festival screening of “Manchester by the Sea,” which left my colleagues and I so emotionally drained we were pretty much useless for the rest of the day. Affleck finds this very funny. “Oh man, that’s awesome,” he laughs. “That was a tough screening. At Sundance I’m usually just going to sleep at 8 a.m.” We’re talking on the phone a few days after the festival’s virtual premiere of his latest movie, “The World to Come,” which made its Sundance debut last month under very different circumstances. “It’s so strange doing these things sitting in front of your computer,” he sighs.

Directed by Mona Fastvold, “The World to Come” is a powerful period piece about a forbidden love affair between pioneer women played by Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby, set in upstate New York during the early months of 1856. Affleck produced the picture, in which he plays a supporting role as Waterston’s uncomprehending husband, and he did his best to soldier through a crowded Zoom Q&A after the Sundance screening, with results pleasant enough, but nonetheless missing that in-person festival magic. “I used to love going to film festivals and talking to journalists and seeing all the movies and talking to other filmmakers,” he laments. “Sitting here alone in a little office in my house is such a drag. But it was nice to know that the movie was getting seen, at least.”

While big brother Ben plays Batman in studio pictures, Casey has exhibited a restless independent streak ever since he was a student at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School. (Our ninth-grade classes competed against each other in the Mass. High School Drama Guild Competition. His won, perhaps unsurprisingly.) A longtime friend of the Brattle Theatre and former creative advisor for the Independent Film Festival Boston, the younger Affleck has always seemed more at home in indies. Not a lot of actors would follow an Oscar-winning role in “Manchester by the Sea” with a microbudget art film like “A Ghost Story.” But then his internalized, minimalist acting style is often at odds with the concerns of contemporary blockbusters. There’s a weird dissonance watching something like Disney’s hokey Chatham sea adventure “The Finest Hours,” with Affleck going full Montgomery Clift while surrounded by CGI silliness.

“The World to Come” is the most ambitious project yet from Affleck’s Sea Change Media, which partnered with Pamela Koffler and Christine Vachon’s legendary NYC indie institution Killer Films for the arduous production that began with a conversation between Affleck and novelist Ron Hansen nearly a decade ago. “When I did ‘The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford’ I got to know Ron Hansen, just because I loved the book so much. Ron has a very unique talent for writing 19th century language. He’s just from another era. I asked him if he had something he wanted to work on together, and I thought he would send me one of his things. Instead, he sent me this story by Jim Shepard. It was beautiful. I said, why don’t you and Jim write the script? And they took about six years, but it came together beautifully. Good things come to those who wait, I guess.”

The film eventually shot in Romania with a break built into the schedule to accommodate the changing seasons that are so crucial to the movie’s rugged, outdoor textures. “We were way out in Transylvania, out in the mountains,” Affleck explains. “We were just in some valley and they built a couple of farmhouses. I like being far away in a new place. It makes you feel outside of your life. And I love working in weather. There are so many aspects of moviemaking that are artificial, but when there’s extreme weather, it’s real. I did this Disney movie about a boat rescue, and it was, like, December in friggin’ Quincy and they were just soaking us with water every single take. There’s not a lot that you have to quote-unquote act. You’re just standing there, teeth-chattering, shivering, just being.” This reminds me of the scene in “Manchester” when he and Lucas Hedges have an argument walking in the blistering cold and can’t remember where they parked. “I forgot about that one,” he laughs.

I’d never say so on the phone, but I consider Affleck’s performance as Lee Chandler in “Manchester by the Sea” among the finest I’ve seen in my 22 years of reviewing films, worthy of discussion alongside Brando’s Terry Malloy in “On the Waterfront” in its aching, inchoate longing. Lee holds his grief somewhere very private and dear, as if to begin to forgive himself would be an act of betrayal. The movie nails a gruff, emotional constipation popular among men of a certain stripe, especially in New England. (My mother offered my favorite review of the film: “Why don’t they just talk to each other? Jesus, this is like watching you and your father.”) Words don’t come easily to most of Affleck’s movie characters, but he chafes at the description of them as inarticulate. “It’s funny, I find the characters in ‘Manchester’ to be sometimes very articulate,” he argues. “There’s misunderstandings, but they end up communicating what’s inside.”

“The World to Come” is rife with such mixed signals and miscommunications, about which co-star Katherine Waterston raved during the Zoom Q&A after the Sundance screening. “It was so much fun to play the scenes with Casey,” she said. “A lot of these scenes are written as dances, where somebody tries to reach out and engage and they’re misunderstood. Inarticulacy is a very interesting thing to see in film. The failed attempts. Failed communications. It’s actually fun to play those things. You don’t know what the other person’s going to throw at you. It keeps it really alive on set. Mona and I felt if we had the money we could have kept shooting this thing for months, because the scenes were so much fun to explore.”

Affleck agrees. “When Katherine’s character writes in her journal or she starts talking to Vanessa, they have this beautiful, expressive way of speaking to each other,” he enthuses, whereas his character “says what he’s gotta say in as few words as possible. He’s very brusque and curt, which I enjoyed. The way that he talks is the communication equivalent when he gives her a birthday gift of sardines and a tin of raisins.”

Indeed, her increasingly florid diary entries — originally intended as a ledger to keep track of the farm’s monthly expenses — become the heartbeat of the film, providing an emotional release otherwise suppressed by the rigid formality of the era and the ugly drudgery of day-to-day farm life. “The World to Come” is ultimately a movie about the need to share our stories, and how through telling them we make sense of ourselves. As producer Koffler explains in the press notes, “Part of the film’s vision is to dramatize a very basic human impulse: to create, to connect, to say ‘I was here, and I mattered.’”

This has become a recurring theme in Affleck’s recent work. In 2019, he wrote, directed and starred in “Light of My Life,” a little-seen but strikingly tense post-apocalyptic road movie about a father and daughter hiding out in the wilderness after a pandemic has wiped out most of the women in the world. The film begins with Affleck telling the little girl a bedtime story that runs almost 13 minutes and sneakily sets up the movie’s major themes. Then in last month’s well-acted but regrettably soggy “Our Friend,” he starred as real-life journalist Matthew Teague, whose soul-baring Esquire story about his wife’s struggle with cancer became a national phenomenon.

“Matt Teague wrote that article and then wanted it made into a movie as his way of processing everything that had happened,” the actor elaborates. “You transform pain into other things as you go through life. That was all him working through it. I like stories about storytellers and I like stories within stories. Obviously, I wrote and directed a movie that starts with a 12-minute bedtime story. I love that. I know that other people don’t love it as much as I do, so I have to be careful about it.”

That kind of love led to last summer’s “Stories From Tomorrow,” a project initiated during lockdown by Affleck and his schoolteacher mom Christine, encouraging children to send in poems and short stories to be read on social media by celebrities like Matt Damon and Jon Hamm, as well as his “The World to Come” co-stars Waterston and Kirby. “That was something I started out at the very beginning of the quarantine as a small project to encourage kids to write creatively, because I know it can be a great way of processing anxiety and working through feelings that you aren’t really talking about or aren’t aware that you’re having. It wasn’t something I thought would go on forever; once the kids are back in school that ought to be where they should be doing all that kind of work. But while they were sitting at home, I thought it would be a good way to get their attention off the awful news and into something more imaginative. And I also got a chance to read all these super-cool stories! Really creative stuff that kids sent from all around the world.”

Finally, as a Boston publication it would be dereliction of duty not to mention the hysterical Dunkin Donuts commercial parody from when Affleck hosted “Saturday Night Live” in 2016, so dead-on in its depiction of a local 'regulah customah' that on one of my critics’ poll ballots that year I tried to nominate the sketch for Best Documentary. Alas, the performer shoots down a pet theory I’ve been hanging onto ever since, that the dirtbag Boston guy in the Bruins hat is secretly a grown-up version of Affleck’s scene stealing, bug-swallowing Morgan from “Good Will Hunting.”

“I hadn’t thought about that, dude. That’s really funny. It never crossed my mind." He pauses before confiding, "I wasn’t that great on SNL… I just wasn’t all that funny on the skits, because it’s live and you’re reading the cue cards and it was my first time. But when we went to make that little pre-recorded short film of the Dunkin’ Donuts ad, I really felt like that was my wheelhouse there. I could’ve played that character in a movie. I could have gone to work and played him every single day, and I would have had a blast. That was really fun to do. I would love to do another one of those. That would be funny to see that character again.”

I bet that guy’s got some stories.

“The World To Come” is now in theaters and will be available via video on demand Tuesday, March 2.

[source]

#casey affleck #the world to come #quote #photo #movies

[alloveroliver]

Essena Everleigh - MLQC OC

Picrew

Essena Everleigh

I would like for you to meet the newest main character of my upcoming series feat. Victor from MLQC.

Sex: Female

Age: 28

Evolver: Yes, she is one, but her power is unknown/unclear.

Paired with: She has the biggest crush on Victor but doesn’t want to complicate their work relationship (or what little of one they have). Besides... He’s her boss. She feels that it would be inappropriate. 

~Appearance~

Height: 5′4

Body Type: Hourglass petite

Hair Color: Natural blonde, but she sometimes dyes it in the winter to a soft chocolate brown.

Eye color: Super dark brown, almost black.

Fashion: Not very fashion-forward. Essena wears put together outfits only when her friends take the time to set them up for her. She doesn't know what necklaces go with what belt. All she knows is that the outfit combinations her friends make, get her more compliments than her typical clothes. 

Body Modifications: She has a tattoo on her left side of a watercolor Japanese cherry blossom tree. It's not too large for her small frame but does stretch from her waistline to under her breast. She also has a matching tattoo with her best friend, Orion, of a tiny fairy. Hers is amongst the limbs of the cherry blossom tree. Orion's is on their ankle. 

~Basic Things~

Born: In England, she moved to Loveland after college for a job offer. (at LFG)

Education: Graduated High school, took a gap year, then went to college and got her degree in business and communications. 

Likes and Dislikes: She’s a night owl by nature. Since moving to Loveland, the time difference was different enough for her to change to a morning person to wake up for work. So far, her night owl side has been slipping on the weekends. She fears it may take over again, in time. 

Hobbies: She LOVES listening to audiobooks. LOVES IT. She devours books daily. If she has headphones in, it's not music that she's listening to. Essena's favorite books are fantasy or sci-fi style books, long books that take several days to read. She will also dabble in self-help and non-fiction here and there.

Job: She works at LFG! She's on one of the middle floors of the skyscraper. Essena is the team leader of a group of marketing individuals. They outsource most of the actual marketing work to other departments but come up with solutions or full marketing campaigns for the company's LFG funds. 

They are a resource the company offers, that is, as long as the smaller businesses coming to them are making a significant profit. Her job is to make sure the small businesses are growing like their reports state they should be and to help market them to the public. Her role entails leading the marketing group of 8 people. 15 are part of their team but do other tasks for the marketing team. She makes reports on the small business' and has to report why they chose to make a marketing campaign for them. She also has to describe the campaign they came up with and why it will work. This goes for follow-ups to other campaigns they've done to see if they are working as intended and if the company made a profit off of it. It can become tedious, but since she's been there for five years, she's climbed to her leadership position easily and now does the job as if it were second nature. 

Friends: She has a best friend from London that ended up moving to Loveland after she did a year later. Their name is Orion. They work as a manager and barista at the coffeeshop Essena goes to every morning to get her daily fix. The two of them were roommates in Loveland for two years before Orion moved in with their long time boyfriend. Now Essena lives alone in her studio apartment, but they are in the same building! Orion couldn't be that far from their bestie, especially living on a new continent like this. 

Other friends: She started going out for drinks with a few ladies from the office. Eventually, it became a weekly ritual, and now they have a favorite server at the local restaurant that knows all their orders by heart. She cursed her predictive nature, but those dipped pretzel sticks were out of this world. The two ladies from the office became three, and soon there were always 4 of them hanging out on the weekends. They've even gone on short trips together with her best friend Orion of whom fits in with them arguably better than Essena actually does.

Friend from work 1: Paige. Pale skinned, dark brown-haired beauty. She's got green eyes that sometimes look brown in the lighting. Always manages to wear red lipstick, always. From a wealthy, luxurious family. She will inherit millions from her grandfather, who is in amazingly good health for an 80-year-old. But for now, she's working her dream job. Despite her silver spoon, she was raised very down to earth and continues to surprise the friend group with the duality of her personality. One moment she wants to go on a luxury cruise and the next shes fine with eating ice cream on a local beach resting on a sandy towel. 

Friend from work 2: Zarah, has a twin sister named Erah. (The twin sister hangs with them less frequently since Erah is the married one with three kids and Zarah remains single.) She has long black straight hair. Her eyes are the color of honey, and her lips are a pretty petal pink. Erah is a mirror image of Zarah. Her family moved to Loveland from Vietnam when they were in high school. 

Friend from work 3: Charley- Strawberry blonde, blue-eyed bombshell. She doesn't need makeup to look like a model. Adventurous! She always takes her vacation for trips abroad and uses her free time on the weekends for local vacation spots. Always down to hang out no matter what. 

Best friend, Orion. Short Brown hair, Deep ocean blue eyes. They/them pronouns. Androgynous features. Likes to wear both feminine and masculine clothes and rocks both of them equally. Essena and Orion knew each other in high school and met again in college. They never spoke in high school but shared some teachers. In college, they ended up sharing a class with no planning and became quick friends. After one year, they moved off campus together and lived as roommates in an apartment for the remaining three years at college. Then Essena moved to Loveland, and, as I stated above, Orion moved too. They were roommates again for two years while Orion dated Devin. Eventually, Orion and Devin got unofficially engaged and decided to move in together BUT in the same condo building as Essena. Orion and Essena are inseparable. 

*Bonus Picrews of the friends*

PAIGE | CHARLEY | ORIZON

ZARAH | ERAH

~Background~

Family: Mother and father split up when she was young, but got back together in her teens. They split up again after she got into college, then got back together when she graduated. They are, to this day, in an on yet off-again relationship. 

Siblings: She has a half brother, her dad fathered while her parents were separated when she was young. They are very close in age, only three years apart. She knows his name, Jeremy, but has never actually met him face to face. They added each other on Facebook in college and liked one another's posts regularly. 

Ex's: Her boyfriend of 2 years, Justin, lived near her in London. She hadn't realized the relationship would crumble when she moved to Loveland, and it became long distance. Essena also hadn't realized how dependent Justin was on her and how freeing it felt to be away from him finally and able to breathe again. She decided to end things with the new feeling of relief. Essena felt being away from him, not realizing what a leech he was on her. He was toxic and didn't want a long-distance relationship but also harassed her online after she moved. She decided to delete her social media, change her number, move from the address she told him she lived, and start her life fresh. It was revitalizing! 

~Misc~

Bad Habits: She bites her nails far too much. They hurt and throb after shes watched a particularly suspenseful movie. She also has a habit of cutting people off to get her thought across before it goes away, without meaning for it to be rude. She then has to backpedal and apologize. But, its too late, the conversation has already begun to shift to her new topic. 

Intro or extroverted?: She is both introverted and extroverted, yet she seems to thrive more when shes had time to herself alone. 

Organized or messy?: Somehow both, she has her desk space and room organized, but her kitchen is a mess. Used pots and pans litter the stove and the sink is somehow always filled with dishes. 

Workstyle?: Essena fronts like she’s a workaholic but she is just really good at keeping organized at work and getting her stuff done in time. Her home is for relaxation only, no work. 

Three things she’s good at: 

Being able to talk to almost anyone about anything based on nuggets of information shes learned from reading all her books. 

Being there for her friends when they are having a rough time. She is the friend to bring them their favorite ice cream or treat and sit with them until they talk out their problems. 

Essen is super good at her job. Very efficient, with little to no mistakes in her reports. 

Three things she's bad at: 

Juggling her free time. She sometimes forsakes folding her clothes in lieu of watching TV 

Math. She knows what math she needs for work but the rest she forced from her brain after college.

Relying too much on technology

What is her life goal? To retire early with enough money to live in her dream beach house. 

Where does she see herself in five years? She sees herself, not as the team leader of the marketing team, but the executive director of the whole marketing floor. And maybe, also, lowkey, she wants to be married. Jussssst a little bit.

Three words to describe her personality? She’s prepared, energetic, and fun!

Three words others use to describe her personality? Homebody, reliable, cautious. 

What is her most prized possession? Her friends <3

Favorite color? Red

Fav thing in men?: Strong, overly confident, tall, muscular, Victor shaped men.

Fav food: Realistically, based on how much she eats this, it's pickles. But, she likes to answer this question with "Souffle." 

What would be the perfect gift for her? Gift Cards for audible

How does she deal with stress? A brisk walk around the block when something is currently weighing on her. At night, she likes to take super hot baths with a lavender scented bath bomb to relax. If it’s super heavy, she likes to read an actual paper book from the many she’s yet to touch on her bookshelf. No need to buy them on audiobook if she has them already, at least that's what she tells herself. It helps her to get lost in the book, in the story and universe of someone else’s life. Takes her mind right off her troubles. 

Is she spontaneous, or does she feel she always needs a plan? A bit of both. She is down to do something at the drop of a hat, as long as there is a bit of forewarning XD

Any pet peeves? Watching other people bite their nails. It’s no fair hers are chewed away. 

Anyone that asks “Any plans for the weekend” in the office on Friday, then on Monday, “What did you do this weekend?” every single week, every month, every year. As if she needed a reason to sound lamer other than “Nothing… just… read books and caught up on some shows…” 

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 

A|N: I made her out of spite. :) I absolutely despise the MC of mlqc, Lmfaooo. This OC will be a more mature, more logical, and a more rational person. I wanted to write a Victor x MC fic, but I literally couldn't write the MC cannon. The MC has two brain cells, and one is to not listen to what people warn her about, and the other is self-sacrificing to the annoyN'th degree. 

This new OC will have at least four brain cells minimum. One brain cell for logical processes to help her with her job at LFG as a supervisor. One for understanding when someone is genuinely concerned for her safety, and she knows to listen and heed their word. Another that exudes confidence and bright, bubbly cheeriness when her friends need to be lifted up from the dark, and one that has a massive, monumental crush on Victor Li, the CEO of LFG. Her boss. 

I also despise the MC so much I ended up spewing out five (or 9???) MORE OC's from this..... like... that's how severe this is for me. ANYWHO good seems to be coming out of it, so I can't complain. lol

I'm going to be writing a multi-chapter fic with this OC. So I hope you love her! I've got two chapters written, but I never gave her a character sheet or anything. The more I write about her, the more her personality unfolds <3 

Please, for the love of Victor, send me asks about this OC if you’d like to help me develop her ♥♥♥. I’m  very serious about making her and this will become my writing project for 2020. <3 (well, one of them.)

#I am a crazy person and did all this in 4 hours. where is that motivation all the time??? lol #I know my OC posts are my least popular but w/e. I am starting a long form story and I want everyone to know her just as well as I do! <3 #MLQC OC #victor x oc