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elizabethwritesmen · 6 months

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𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜

chapter 1 - i remember everything

pairing: firefighter!steve x reader

summary: in high school, steve and y/n were the best of friends. now, she’s moved back to hawkins, and he hasn’t seen her since her graduation 7 years before.

warnings: smut to come in later chapters.

a/n: this is a christmas fic, split into parts. this part does not mention christmas because it is not christmas time yet. also, steve is 28 and reader is 25. this fic is basically a hallmark script but make it sexy and angsty. italics paragraphs are flashbacks. all parts will be out by december 25.

chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4

I remembered everything.

The bumps in the driveway that tousled my car like a carnival ride. The sparkling lake glistening with the sun’s reflection, reminiscent of all the times I snuck out there with my friends for a swim in high school. The beautiful cabin, two story but still small and cozy, haunted by all the scary stories that were told in it by high school students goofing off because they didn’t know what real life was.

The crack in the window where Robin tripped and fell into it that never got fixed because we never told my parents.

The guitar picks Eddie left all over the place, never remembering to take them home with him.

The small stain on the carpet from where the kids spilled a beer they’d stolen.

The huge tree by the water with Steve’s name carved into it, right next to mine, and a poorly shaped heart scribbled beside them.

Yes, I remembered everything.

I sighed as I unpacked my boxes, putting things away where I thought they should go. I never thought I’d be back in Hawkins, and I hadn’t yet decided how I felt about it, but the cards were dealt to me so I had to play them. It wasn’t so bad, though. I moved away less than a week after I graduated high school thinking that if I went to college in another state and started a new life, I could get away scott free from the things that were weighing on me. But it doesn’t work that way. You never get away from matters of the heart. They stay, and stay, and stay.

I stopped abruptly when I heard a knock at the door, going to check it and seeing Robin standing on the porch. I opened it quickly, “Rob!” I exclaimed as I pulled her into a hug. She squeezed me back with just as much force.

“You’re really back,” she sighed, “Your mom told me you’d be here and I was worried it wasn’t true!”

“Well here I am,” I giggled, pulling away reluctantly and letting her in. She walked with me to the dining room table where I had my things laid out and started helping me put them away.

“So how was Florida?” She asked.

“Hot,” I blandly offered, and she laughed.

“Seriously. You disappear the day you graduate and I hear from you maybe four times before we lose touch. I wanna know everything!”

I sighed, pausing for a moment, “I’m sorry about that, Robin. I didn’t mean to disappear on you, you know you’re one of the best friends I’ll ever have and I love you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to apologize to me, honey. I was never mad at you, but only because I understood why you left. Steve and Eddie, though… they went through it for the first year you were gone. Don’t even get me started on the kids.”

“Eddie understood, I know he did. He knew I was leaving, he was the only person I told because he caught me talking about my plane ticket on the phone. And the kids would never have understood, they were too young. Just needing to get out for a while would’ve sounded like a lame excuse to them.”

“But you didn’t just need to get out for a while, you needed to get away from Steve for a while”

“That’s not the only reason.”

“But it was a reason. Right?”

Hesitantly and carefully, I answered her, “Yes. It was. I couldn’t keep letting him break my heart. I needed space.”

“You couldn’t have found space in Hawkins? You had to leave?”

“There was no space in Hawkins. Wherever I went, he found me. He never left me alone. Even when I asked him to.”

“Because he loved you.”

“But it wasn’t enough,” I sighed exasperatedly, “Can we talk about something else?”

“Of course,” she smiled, “We’ll discuss Steve more later.”

“No we won’t,” I rolled my eyes, tossing a trinket from one of the boxes at her. She dodged it with a laugh, carrying on the conversation.

“Really though, how was Florida?”

“It was good. I dunno, I don’t think I fit in there.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m not all beachy and outgoing like most people there were. But they were all super nice anyway. I made some friends at the college I went to, but I didn’t stay close to any of them after I graduated and started working.”

“Is that why you moved back? Cause you had no friends?”

“Robin!” I scolded, mouth dropping open. She laughed again, lighting up the room. “I did have friends, I’m just not a very social person!”

“Then why did you move back?”

I shrugged, “Florida isn’t the place for me, but I don’t know where is, so my mom suggested I move back here in the mean time.”

“And she’s just, like, letting you live in the cabin?”

“Yeah. I mean, they didn’t pay for it, and I’ve spent more time here than they have anyway. When my grandpa left it to them, they thought it was more of an extra bill than a vacation house. That’s why they’re gonna put it in my name if I decide to stay.”

“What?” she squealed, her eyes going wide as saucers, “So you could be little miss homeowner! That’s amazing! As bad as the economy is, I’d take that deal in a heartbeat!”

“I know, I know. I’m thinking about it. It is nice to be around family again. And you.”

“Just wait til you see the others. They’re gonna be SO excited you’re back! As a matter of fact why don’t we have them over here for a little reunion?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do you even still hang out with them?”

“Eddie and Steve, yeah. We’re all still pretty close. The kids are all kinda doing their own thing now, but we still see each other a lot too, around town and such. And we still have a group chat, we just don’t send much but dumb memes in it.”

“Damn, Rob. Thanks for including me in this group chat!” I huffed, smacking her arm jokingly.

“You left, you gave up your groupchat rights!”

We laughed together and talked some more as we finished unpacking my boxes. I didn’t have much, no furniture or anything because the cabin was already completely furnished. My grandpa had impeccable taste, everything was extremely elegant while also being perfectly warm and rustic.

“Okay,” she sighed after we threw away the last piece of cardboard, “It’s dark now so I should probably get home, but let’s hang out again tomorrow! Come up to town! I opened up a music shop, you can come see!”

“That’s amazing! I’d love to come see!”

And with that, she was off. I breathed in a deep sigh, a smile on my face as I fell onto the couch and turned the TV on. It was nice to have Robin again. I was impressed with how quickly and swiftly we fell into old habits, gossiping and chatting like no time had passed and we were still just two kids. The person I was nervous to see again was Steve.

The next day, I woke up and showered, preparing myself to go to town. I needed to pick up groceries, and I also wanted to stop by Robin’s music shop, excited to see her hard work paid off.

I slipped on a pair of running shorts and a crop top, throwing a loose cardigan on over it and slipping into a pair of tennis shoes. My hair was curled and I had on light makeup. I felt pretty, but not overdone. I wanted to at least look decent enough that, if I ran into someone I knew, I wouldn’t be mortified.

The grocery store was desolate as I pulled into the parking lot, only a few cars in the spaces and a firetruck parked by the door. I supposed public servants do need to shop, too. I wondered if it was someone I knew, I remember my dad was friends with some of the town’s firemen when I was younger, but I shrugged it off, wanting to get in and out hassle free.

As soon as I walked in the door, though, I was greeted with a high pitched voice, “Y/N?”

I turned to see who it belonged to and was delighted to see Max, behind one of the registers wearing a store polo.

“Hey!” I grinned wide, rushing over to her and going in for a hug. She’d been like a little sister when I’d lived in Hawkins before, and I had to admit, I missed her while I was gone.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked, leaning back to stare at me, “I haven’t seen you in like… five years!”

“I know, I know. I moved back!”

“What? Like forever?” she asked, hope creeping into her voice.

“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet. But definitely for a while. What about you? How long have you been working here?”

“Two years now. Dustin works here, too, but he’s off today.”

“That’s a shame. I’ll have to come back when he’s here and see him!”

“Oh, you should see everyone! We’ve all missed you so much! Even the ones of us that won’t admit it,” she giggled with an eye roll, “Mike has always been stubborn and dumb.”

“Well that’s okay,” I hummed, “I’m here now, so it’s all okay.”

“Yeah, but next time you leave, can you warn a girl first? I missed you a lot!”

“I know, I’m sorry. Scouts honor, next time I’ll shove you in my suitcase and bring you with me.”

“Perfect,” she beamed, her teeth as pearly white as always. She looked older, and she’d grown up beautifully. I didn’t know if she was still with Lucas, but if so, he was lucky.

I let go of her, getting started on my shopping. I didn’t get much, just the basics, and a few minutes later I was done and ready to check out. I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally bumped into the guy in front of me in line.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” I rushed out as I pulled my cart away gently. He turned around and my mouth fell open as I recognized his pretty face.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice steady but his face gave him away. He was in utter shock.

“Steve,” I offered back, staring at him, waiting for what he had to say.

Max interrupted the short awkward silence, “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you Y/N’s back.”

He sent her a glare then turned back to me, scanning over me, settling on all the parts of me that had changed. I’d filled out more, and I could tell he noticed. I could tell he appreciated it.

I scanned over him as well, taking note of his khakis and the Hawkins Fire Dept T shirt he wore. So the truck was his. Interesting. He looked good, better than ever. He was more chiseled than I remembered, and it worked for him, from his head to his toes. And his hair was as iconic as always.

“Why’re you back?” he asked me, his voice devoid of much emotion.

“Just wanted to come back for a while.”

“A while? So not forever?”

“I dunno, Steve. I haven’t thought that far ahead,” I breathed out a laugh.

“You never did.”

My eyes dropped, shame creeping in. “I’m sorry for how I left, Steve. I just had to go.”

“Yeah,” he deadpanned, “It’s fine. Is what it is. It’s your business anyway.”

“Steve, please don’t do that,” I sighed.

“Do what?”

“That thing you always do where you pretend you’re not hurt.”

“I’m not. I might’ve been seven years ago, but I’ve had a lot of time for that wound to close, Y/N.”

“So you’re not happy to see me at all?”

“Not as happy as I would’ve been to see you on my doorstep that day.”

I knew exactly what day he was talking about. It was the Saturday, two weeks after I graduated. He’d asked me a month in advance to come over, and I agreed, not even thinking about the fact that I was leaving. He’d consistently asked me for reassurance that I would be there, and every time I promised I would. But I wasn’t.

“I’m just so sorry Stevie. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. Of all the people I hurt, I regret hurting you the most.”

“It’s fine. Like I said, seven years,” he shrugged, grabbing his receipt from Max and walking out. I watched him go, dejected, melancholy overtaking me.

“You ok? That was rough to watch,” Max gave me a sympathetic look and I forced a smile.

“I’m good, Maxy. Like he said. Seven years.”

She stared at me for a moment, as if she was deciding what to say, an internal battle behind her eyes. “He had a party planned for you that day.”

“What?”

“Yeah. With me and the other guys and Robin and everybody. He was so excited, he never shut up about it. Then he found out you left and cancelled. He hasn’t really been the same since.”

“How’d he find out I left?”

“Your dad told him. He went over to see you and you weren’t there.”

I sighed, my eyes welling up. I couldn’t believe I’d screwed up that badly. All I wanted was a getaway, I never knew I’d be hurting so many people. I never knew he cared so much.

“Max, I-“

“Was in love with him. I know. Everybody knows. That’s why we didn’t understand why you left.”

“He wanted girl after girl after girl. And it was never me. I was never his type. I needed to get away to get over him or I was gonna live a life full of heartbreak and disappointment. But now I see how selfish that was.”

“It wasn’t selfish. Just not well thought out. Have you at least gotten over him?”

“I thought so, til I saw him look at me like that.”

I finished checking out and promised Max I’d be back in to see her, then headed to the music store. The exterior was nice. It was a painted brick building, colorful and bright. There was a huge mural on the side of it, and I knew it was all Robin’s doing because I remembered that particular building being boring and run down before I left.

I walked inside, looking around to see the inside was just as amazing. I was honestly impressed with how well she’d done everything, from organizing to decorating.

“Rob, this is awesome!” I exclaimed as I walked up to the counter. She’d been looking down, doing some kind of paperwork, but when she looked up and saw me she put it down and ran around the counter.

“You really came!”

“Of course I came, have I ever let you down?” I asked, laughing, then added, “Well, other than that one time.”

“You’re right. You did always used to come through. I don’t think you ever missed anything.”

“And I definitely wouldn’t miss this! If I’d known you opened it, I would’ve been here that day to watch you cut the ribbon or whatever!”

“Oh, it’s okay, it wasn’t that big of a ceremony. You know nothing is big in Hawkins unless you’re rich. But I get good business and I’ve kept the doors open. Plus, all the high school girls like to take pictures in front of the mural outside for their instagrams, and that’s actually drummed up a lot of business.”

“I’d imagine so. Show me around?”

She took me to the instruments section, explaining why she’d organized it the way she had and how it made the most sense. Then we wandered to the sheet music, and then to the records. Finally, we hit the cds and a little caddy full of Apple, Spotify, Iheartradio and Youtube gift cards. She also had a small section with assorted local snacks.

“This is great, really,” I smiled, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Well, I actually got the idea from you,” she nonchalantly shrugged.

“When?” I furrowed my brows and asked.

“One time, I was talking to you about how I’m just a band geek and you told me band geeks make it far in life. You suggested I either get famous or open up a huge store full of band stuff and make tons of money. You really thought I had it in me to do both.”

“You did have it in you. You could be in a real band right now if you wanted.”

She full on belly laughed, waving the thought off. “Whatever. Change of subject, I heard you saw Steve.”

“Heard from who?”

“From Steve. He called me mad because I didn’t tell him you were home.”

“Why was he so mad?”

“Well, he’ll say it’s because he just wasn’t expecting to see you and would be happy if you’d have just stayed gone. But I know it’s because he does want you here, more than anything, and all his old feelings are coming back, and he would’ve liked some wanting before seeing your face in the middle of the grocery store after seven years.”

“It wasn’t the middle of the grocery store,” I rolled my eyes, “It was the front. And he was not happy to see me, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble. Old feelings can’t come up if there weren’t any in the first place, Im just a girl he used to be friends with.”

“It was always more with you and Steve,” she shrugged, “Everyone else saw it.”

“If I’d known he planned a party for me, I would’ve been there that day.”

“I know. And he knew, too. That’s why he told us to never tell you. He didn’t want you to feel guilty, and he didn’t want you to have to come back just for him.”

I sighed, feeling even worse than I did when Steve was staring at me with that look in his eyes. I knew him, I knew his faces, and I knew what he looked like when he was hurt. I really did a number on him.

“I don’t know if I can make this one better, Rob.”

“You can. He’ll get over his anger, I promise. The way he felt about you doesn’t just go away, he has a big ol’ soft spot for you. There’s nothing he could ever hold against you, not even this.”

I nodded with yet another sigh, “Anyways, what about you? Any ladies on the roster?”

She looked shocked I’d asked, “Bold aren’t you?”

“Always have been!”

She proceeded to tell me about all the girls she’d been interested in, and all the ones she’d dated since I left. It was nice to see her so comfortable with herself, and it was even nicer to hear that she’d gotten some really cool girlfriends.

“So who are you dating now?” I asked, leaning on the counter, fully intrigued.

“Well, there’s this lady, Shelly. She sold me this building. She’s older than me, but goodness, what I wouldn’t do to -“

“You don’t have to continue that,” I giggled, “I catch your drift. Is she into you?”

“Well… she’s recently divorced from a man, but sometimes she flirts like she’s curious or something.”

“Maybe she is. Maybe she wants to taste your cherry chapstick,” I stuck my tongue at her jokingly.

We were interrupted by the bell above the door, and I turned to see Steve walking in, Eddie on his tail wearing the exact same uniform.

“Oh,” he stared blankly when he saw me, “I’ll come back later.”

“No,” I stopped him, “If me being here is that big of a deal then I’ll go.”

Robin scoffed, “Neither of you idiots are going anywhere. We’re all friends here.”

“It’s ok Rob,” I sighed, “Really, I’m fine with leaving.”

“Steve, she doesn’t have to leave, man. We’re not gonna be here long, and she’s not hurting anybody,” Eddie put in his two cents, and I smiled.

“Hey Eddie,” I walked over to him and he opened his arms wide for a hug.

“Hey Y/N. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you more,” I poked him as I pulled away, taking in his short hair and muscles more formed than I’d ever seen them. “Fire department make you chop your curls off?”

“Unfortunately.”

“It’s a nice look,” I shrugged, “Very handsome and mature.”

Steve cleared his throat and we turned to him. “Relax,” Eddie sighed, “We’re not flirting, bro. That’s what you guys do.”

Steve blushed. He couldn’t stop himself. “Give it a rest, Eddie.”

“Not until you stop your temper tantrum and let the past go.”

“I’m not throwing a temper tantrum,” Steve rolled his eyes, and Robin took it upon herself to lighten the mood.

“Anyways,” she smiled brightly, “How’s work going today, boys?”

“Well, we have a kitten in the firetruck,” Steve sighed, and she laughed.

“A cat?”

“Yeah, Steve rescued it from a bush, it’s little foot was stuck in one of the branches,” Eddie patted Steve on the back.

“It looks like that cat Y/N used to have, the one that she cried for a week straight when it died,” Steve mused, smiling at me for the first time since I’d seen him again as if involuntarily. He caught himself though, and turned away.

“You remember that?” I asked.

“I remember everything,” he shrugged, “Wanna see it?”

“Of course!” I squealed, and he walked me outside, opening the drivers’ side door and pulling it out.

It was cute, white with silver spots all over it. It meowed as he handed it to me, climbing into my arms and clinging on to me for dear life.

“Oh, he’s perfect,” I hummed as I stared at him, holding him close to me and giving his forehead kisses.

“He’s yours,” Steve said, his eyes trained on me and the cat, “If you want him, I mean.”

I looked at him, seeing if there was any sign of joking but there was none. “I’d love to take him!”

“I thought of you when I saw him,” he admitted to me, staring at his feet and swaying nervously.

“I didn’t think you even still thought about me.”

“All the time.”

His voice was almost too low for me to hear, but I caught it and my heart sped up.

“Steve, I’m sorry again. Really. I missed you every day. If I could go back and be there that day…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he sighed, “I was angry when I first saw you. I’m not now. I just needed to get over the initial shock, that’s all.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

“I couldn’t if I wanted to. You were my best friend. I just… I just wanna understand why you left. You never told me. Nobody ever told me.”

“It’s…” I hesitated. How could I explain it to him? “It’s a long story.”

“Of course,” he nodded, “Well whenever you’re ready to, we can talk.”

“Okay.”

We stared at each other for a moment before Eddie broke the silence, “You ready to go Steve? They’re gonna be sending out a search party soon if we don’t get back.”

“Yeah,” he nodded then turned to me, “See you later, Y/N. Take care of the cat.”

“I will. Bye,” I smiled, watching him walk away.

Well, at least the anger had subsided. But I was never going to be able to explain the reason I left.

The night of my graduation

The ceremony had taken ages. I wouldn’t have cared if not for the heels that had been cramping my feet all day and the tight white dress that I wanted to rip off. I groaned as I walked to the parking lot where my family was waiting, along with my friends.

The first person that greeted me was Steve. He was always the first to greet me, no matter the place or occasion. In his hand, he held my favorite slippers, fuzzy and cozy and just what my feet needed.

“Aww, Stevie, you brought me slippers?” I cooed, pouting at his kind gesture.

“When you told me you were wearing those ridiculous heels I knew I needed to bring them so I wouldn’t have to listen to you complain about your feet hurting.”

I ripped my heels off with a vengeance and replaced them with the slippers that had cute smiley faces on them, and my face matched the expression. I pulled Steve into a hug so tight I thought we might suffocate each other, breathing him in.

“This is why you’re my best friend,” I hummed into his chest.

We didn’t let go of each other for a minute or two, soaking in the moment. Our hugs were always like that. It always felt like we were never going to see each other again. Only this time, we really weren’t. He didn’t know that, though.

He pulled away, looking in my eyes, a sparkle in his that was all for me. His eyes trailed down to my open gown and the dress under it, and he raised his brows.

“You look good.”

“Just good?”

“Really good.”

And that moment dragged on with a heated glance shared between us, eyes locked on each other and refusing to move until Robin barreled over to us, kids in tow and Eddie following.

“Quit hogging her, dingus, she’s too pretty to only talk to you,” she rolled her eyes, hugging me tightly and chit chatting about the ceremony. Steve stayed quiet though, and that heated gaze didn’t dissipate. Something felt different. Something was off, in the best way.

My family joined us, offering to bring us all back to the cabin for a barbecue and we eagerly agreed. I rode with Steve, naturally, the kids rode with my parents, and Eddie and Robin took his van.

The ride felt longer than it should’ve, tension in the air.

“Steve, what’s happening?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve never run out of things to talk about,” I shrugged, leaning over to brush a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

“We haven’t run out of things to talk about. It’s just, sometimes when I’m with you, nothing needs to be said.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I think so,” he glanced at me, his eyes sharp and cutting into my heart, right where I wanted him most. Right where he already was.

Minutes later, we pulled in the rough driveway, my hair flying all over my face. He chuckled, smoothing it out over my head before we got out, joining everyone else by the lake.

“They’ve got it decked out,” I commented as we approached, and Steve just smiled bashfully. “Did you have something to do with this?”

“Maybe.”

I giggled lightly, turning away from him to greet everyone else.

“Y/N, Steve, you made it!” my mom beamed, pulling us into a hug, “I see you ditched the gown!”

“Yeah, it was itchy,” I grimaced, remembering the horrible material.

“Well I wanted to take pictures but we can do it later,” she shrugged, leading us to the picnic table. The benches were full, though, so Steve pulled a big folding chair up and sat down, pulling me down beside him, my legs over his lap. That wasn’t unusual for us, we were always touchy and feely, always beside eachother somehow. Nobody even found it odd anymore, though the jokes about us getting together never ceased.

Everyone laughed and had a good time, and as the night wore on, I got a little sleepy. Steve and I had been up and about, but we were back in our chair, my head laid in the crook of his neck and his arms around me.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asked me, watching everyone else continue their good time. I nodded, standing up. He stood up after me, grabbing my hand and leading me away.

We walked through a trail in the woods we’d found the first time we snuck out to the cabin together.

“Remember the first time we came out here?” he asked me, and I nodded with a laugh.

“I slipped in mud and fell on my ass. I fractured my foot, too, and I couldn’t walk. I was disgusting, but you still carried me back to the car.”

“I don’t mind getting a little dirty,” he shrugged with a wink, and I rolled my eyes. “Not with you, at least.”

Finally, we reached our destination, a clearing by the water. It had the prettiest view of the sky.

“Swim with me,” he stated, as if it was more of a demand than a question.

“Steve!” I huffed, “I can’t swim in this dress!”

“Then take it off. You have on a bra and panties, right?”

“Well… y-yeah, but-“

“Just do it. You only graduate high school once, do something crazy with me! We’re best friends, right?” he coerced, squeezing my hands and pulling me closer to the water.

I sighed, nodding slowly. “Will you unzip me?”

He walked behind me and laid his hands on my shoulders. They were warm and heavy, his grip on me soft but firm. his fingers trailed down my back to the little metal piece and he pulled it down, exposing black lace and my plain black thong. I turned to him, letting the white material fall to the ground, and the way his eyes lingered in all the places a friend shouldn’t look was hard to miss.

“Why would you wear that to graduate?” he asked, “Were you planning on getting lucky tonight!”

“I’m already lucky tonight, Steve,” I sighed, “I’m with you. Now take off your clothes and come on!”

He chuckled, his eyes darker than they’d been a moment ago, and pulled his shirt over his head, then kicking off his pants. I was greedy taking him in, his boxers tight and leaving little to the imagination.

Steve and I had seen each other like that before. We’d walked in on each other changing, and we’d swam in regular swimsuits. All of our insecurities had already been exposed so many times, so none of them even mattered at all. This felt different, though. Being in nothing but dainty lingerie had me shy, exposed.

He approached me slowly, his hands landing on my hips, his eyes meeting mine and staying. He was so close I could feel his body heat radiating off of him, goosebumps prickling my skin.

“Race you,” he smirked suddenly, twirling me out of the way and sliding past me, running to the water and jumping in. I rolled my eyes and laughed, following him and jumping on his back. We fell into a fit of giggles together as he tossed me off, pulling me into his front instead.

The giggles died out, replaced by heavy breath.

“I won,” he whispered.

“What’s your prize?” I responded breathily.

He groaned, leaning his head down into my neck and inhaling.

“You’re driving me crazy. You’re my best friend. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t…”

“Shouldn’t what?”

“Shouldn’t love you so much.”

“I love you too, Steve,” I giggled, but he stopped me, his thumb running over my bottom lip.

“I don’t think I could’ve made it these last couple years without you,” he admitted. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. Don’t tell the kids.”

“Oh, I won’t, they’d be crushed,” I nodded dramatically.

For a second I thought he’d kiss me. I thought he’d kiss me and I wouldn’t have to leave. He leaned in so close, his lips were less than a breath away from mine. But then he pulled to the side and kissed my cheek instead, then trailed his lips down, ghosting over the sensitive skin of my neck.

I let out a raspy breath, “Steve,” I barely moaned. I needed him so bad I could feel it, I could hear it and see it. I’d been in love with him for far too long. His hand tangled in my slightly wet hair, tugging lightly, pulling me in. His other landed on my side, trailing down my thigh and pulling my leg over his hip. I could feel everything, and I didn’t know how to take it all.

All of a sudden, he pulled away, his hand still in mine but the warmth gone. I whined at the loss of contact.

“We’re supposed to be swimming!” he chuckled, haphazardly pulling me under with him. And like that, the moment was replaced with something lighter, friendlier, but still close.

Later that night, Steve drove me back to my parents’ house. As he parked in the driveway, he turned to me.

“I can’t wait to see you again,” he whispered bashfully.

I stared at my lap, not knowing what to say. I wanted to tell him I was leaving, but he would just beg me to stay and wear me down until I agreed, and I would spend the rest of my life hanging on his arm next to whatever girl he wanted more than me. I was never going to be it for him. I was never going to be what he wanted. I wasn’t enough.

“Goodbye, Steve,” I gave him a sad smile and got out of the car, running inside the house.

#steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #steve x reader #fireman!steve harrington #fireman!steve

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otteranha · 1 year

Text

Insidious is the word Eddie would use for the letters that come in the mail, first to the trailer then later to their various shabby, wonderful apartments. Steve feels it even if he doesn’t have the same vast vocabulary that Eddie does, insidious is what the letters feel like.

One way plane ticket to join them in Palm Springs, with a series of college applications folded up underneath.

A brochure for a backpacking trip across Europe and his mother describing how their friend’s children had also taken gap years before they got their shit act together.

They invite him for Christmas in New York. There’s informational materials on Fordham University and NYU, but at least this time they haven’t actually started filling out applications for him.

A FedEx arrives with the a lift badge and a key to the ski lodge they’re staying at in Vale. Photos of the beautiful scenery and incidentally the beautiful daughters of their friends on the slopes.

Eddie sees them like an octopus, a kraken, endlessly reaching out arms to pull Steve back into the life they wanted him to have. He knows Steve loves him, loves their life together, but they always leave him in a weird, empty mood. It keeps Eddie awake at night thinking of the next plane ticket to come. How dare they? How dare they? They’d all but disappeared after Steve graduated from high school, the silent treatment for not getting into college, for not trying to get into college. Then turned him out completely when they found out about him and Eddie, not knowing if their son, their injured, traumatized son would have a roof over his head. Because they always thought he’d come crawling back, lesson learned, ready to dance their little dance. He thinks But that didn’t happen and now they’re starting to worry, they’re starting to sweat that they won’t have junior to join the family business, they won’t have the perfect daughter-in-law to criticize and the 2.5 grandkids to show off, they’re starting to worry about the Harrington family name.

It’s not fair to Steve because he always, always throws the letters in the trash. He doesn’t even open them if he can tell from the envelope who they’re from but it’s not always obvious, and he’s a smidge paranoid about missing a bill. Eddie opens them all out of morbid curiosity. He knows it’s not good for him, not good for them that it’s just fueling his own fear and thick, bitter anger at them for making Eddie afraid, for making Steve look so sad until-

“Uh, babe what’s this?” Eddie asks.

Steve’s come home with a bunch of official looking papers. “It’s a boilerplate for a cease and desist letter. Did you know you don’t need a lawyer to send one? I was talking to Daphne down at the library about the letters we keep getting from my parents and she showed me these. See, you fill in your own stuff like mad libs.”

All Eddie can do is stare slack-jawed. His voice comes out hoarse, “Mad libs?”

“It’s more serious than that, obviously, that’s just the only thing I could think of when she showed me.” Daphne down at the library loves Steve, all the librarians love Steve. Most of them love Eddie too but he hasn’t noticed.

“So you send them this cease and desist thing and they legally have to stop offering you all expenses paid trips to Nice?”

“It’s worth a try.”

“And you’re sure you want to do this?” Eddie tries not to let his voice break.

Steve looks at him seriously. “I know they still think it’s not too late for the whole prodigal son thing, but every time I think about the things I would have to do or not do to make them love me, if they even really could love me-” he sighs, “And the way I’d have to live. I know you think it’s some huge sacrifice for me to be with you and ignore my parents, but it’s not just that. It would be Robin too. And Dustin and Erica and Will and the rest of my little weirdos because they’re little weirdos. You would be worth it on your own, you would. But even without that, I can’t live like them.” He finally smiles at Eddie, winks then climbs on the table and announces in a dramatic tone, “Forced conformity! That’s what’s killing the kids!”

Eddie pulls him off the table and Steve kisses his teary, snotty face.

“Shut up, I do not sound like that!”

#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things hc #stranger things au #st steddie #stranger things fic #steve harrington has bad parents

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hxney-lemcn · 4 months

Text

First Date — Young Justice! Riddler x gn! reader

summery: Eddie takes you out on a wonderful date! Arcade? Movie? Dinner? Who could ask for more?

tw: none

a/n: Based on this headcanon/fic by @finniestoncrane ! Go check it out if you haven't already!! Or their entire catalogue of riddler fics because they write him really well and they have an abundance of them. Also! Clematis means intelligence, red camellia's means passionate love, and baby's breath innocence/innocent love.

wc: 2.5k

Master List

It would have been nerve wracking if I hadn’t been waiting for this day for who knows how long. I checked myself in the mirror one last time before I heard a knock on the front door. Nodding to myself in the mirror, knowing if I spent any more time nitpicking at my appearance we’d never get anywhere. Taking in a deep breath, I opened the door to reveal my date for the day.

There stood Edward Nygma in all his glory. A sheepish grin rested on his face as he handed me a bouquet of flowers. It was a mix of clematis, red camellia’s, and baby’s breath. An odd combination, yet they also worked well together, and knowing Eddie, they held a deeper meaning that I’d have to look up later.

“Thank you Eddie!” I smiled, inhaling the sweet scent before ushering him in. I didn’t exactly have any vases, but an old bottle I found would have to do the trick. When I came back into the living room, I placed the flowers on the coffee table, watching Eddie take in the place. “Where are we heading to first?” I asked, coming to stand beside him, making him jump.

“O-oh! Right,” He nodded, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “I-it’s a…surprise?” Normally I’d tease, push a little to see if I could get the answer…but I know Eddie would bend right away and where’s the fun without a little surprise?

It wasn’t too long of a walk, and I was a bit surprised at the destination. Unsurprisingly, the arcade wasn’t too busy at 10:30 am. My smile couldn’t get any bigger when Eddie beat the high score of the pacman game, a triumphant grin revealing his cute little tooth gap.

“Oo! Let’s play this one!” I exclaimed, tugging Eddie over to a motorcycle race game.

“Okay,” He replied, just happy to see that you were enjoying yourself. With him. That he was making you beam that sweet smile.

The race was afoot. Choosing the bike we wanted, I couldn’t stop the giddy smile from spreading across my face. I never felt so young again. The worries of daily life disappeared, and I could only focus on how sweet Eddie was.

“Oh my God, Eddie!” I exclaimed, trying to stop the laughter that threatened to bubble out as he laid sprawled out across the floor. The game beeped as I hopped off, crouching over Eddie as he sat up, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

“I’m okay,” He laughed nervously, voice a little higher pitched than normal. “S-sorry, I always screw up…”

“Oh hush,” I batted his arm lightly. “Now c’mon, I think those kids wanna play next.”

He let out a squeak, face blushing bright red as we passed the two giggling children. It was fun to watch Eddie while he managed to get the jackpot every time, gaining an obscured amount of tickets. And when I tried my luck, he was only supportive when I never won it big.

“Let’s get something to eat,” I offered, pointing over to the ordering station.

“My treat!” He sputtered. “What do you want?”

“Are you sure?” I asked, feeling a bit guilty at how much he’s been paying already.

“Th-this day is about you,” He exclaimed. “Anything you want, it's yours.” I felt my heart sputter. He was such a romantic, I wonder if he even realizes how attractive that makes him.

“It’s about us,” I corrected, leaning over to plant a kiss on his cheek. His entire face blazed a bright red as he stuttered incomprehensibly. It was warming to know that I had such an effect on him, yet at the same time it was hard to show him affection if I didn’t want him to go brain dead at the simplest shows of affection. After he calmed down (barely), I told him what I wanted. He returned quickly, handing me what I asked for. Yet instead of us both getting a drink, he placed a slushie between us, two straws placed in it for good measure. I honestly didn’t think he had it in him, but I’ll give him kudos for the gesture.

Once we finished our snack, he pulled me by the hand over to a stacker game. The prize being 1,000 tickets. He let me try first, cheering me on as I got higher and higher on the game. I felt adrenaline pulse through me as I neared the win line, and the platform got smaller.

“Gah!” I groaned as I missed by a sliver. “I was so close!”

“You did really well!” Eddie cheered. “It only shows how your hand to eye coordination is better than the common man.”

Even though it read that I earned 500 tickets, I couldn’t be too angry at how Eddie always managed to praise me in his unusual ways. I stood to the side, taking a rewarding sip from our slushie as Eddie managed to absolutely crush the game.

“That was awesome!” I cheered.

“W-well, I’ve practiced,” He replied sheepishly, watching as 1,000 tickets were placed onto his card balance. “But I think that was our last credit.”

“Damn,” I huffed. “I don’t want the date to end yet.”

“Heh heh,” Eddie laughed sheepishly, rubbing his neck as he couldn’t make eye contact, face flushed a light pink. “W-well I had a bit more planned…”

“Oh!” I said in surprise. The dates I’ve always been on were one thing. Just dinner, just a movie, so the fact that Eddie planned out the day made my smile lighten considerably.

“B-but if you don’t want to continue that’s fine,” He stumbled, hands waving.

I rolled my eyes, squeezing his hand, “I just said I didn’t want the date to end silly.”

“Right,” He nodded. “Let’s see how many tickets we got.”

Nodding, we walked over to a machine that told us how many tickets we managed to get. I pouted when I saw I only got 2,000 tickets. Only for my jaw to go slack at the outrageous amount of tickets Eddie got. He got 20,000! That’s crazy!

“Holy sh-crap Eddie!” I corrected myself when I saw a little kid run past. Looking around, there wasn’t much I could get with my tickets. Whatever, I had fun nonetheless.

“What do you want?” Eddie asked, also looking around at the prizes he could choose. Sure, he couldn’t get the guitar that they had for some reason, but he still had a large variety.

“You get something you want,” I pushed. “You won them with your hard work.”

“W-well I wanna get something you want then,” He pouted. And who could say no to that face. My face warmed as I looked at the more promising prizes to choose from. After he got me an actually cute plushie (and not those cheap small ones), I let him choose something with the limited amount of tickets I got.

“So what’s next?” I asked as we began walking once more.

“Well I overheard you talking about that one movie you wanted to see…” He trailed off.

“Seriously?” I asked, eyes wide with excitement.

Oh he was serious. He even got the best seats in the back and everything. As the lights in the theater dimmed, I scooted over a bit closer to Eddie. Not too close, as I didn’t want to get him all flustered, even if I find it adorable. I watched in anticipation as the movie started to play, only to hear Eddie yawn. I glanced at him for a second, only for my eyes to return to the screen. Yet when I felt his arm around my shoulder, I had to try my best not to jump. I blinked, face blank, trying my hardest not to snicker. He actually pulled the classic yawn and arm around the shoulder move huh? I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything else from the dork.

I relaxed into his embrace, resting my head on his shoulder and rested my hand on his stomach. But even though he was the one to pull the first move I could feel him tense under my touch, which made me worry if I took it too far somehow.

“Is this okay?” I whispered, not wanting to bother others.

“Y-yes,” He stuttered, and even in the dim lighting I could see the red that painted his face. I could only smile warmly, snuggling a bit further to get more comfortable. It was hard to focus on the movie when I was snuggled into a cutie. As the movie progressed, he got more comfortable, awkwardly holding my back. When the movie ended I couldn’t help but be in awe. It was so good! And I got to share it with someone I cared about! What more could I ask for?

“I can’t believe they actually finished it like that!” I exclaimed as I held Eddie’s arm. “That was awesome! Thank you for taking me to see it!”

Eddie chuckled, seeming to have gained more confidence over the experience, “I was surprised too! It was actually a good movie.” “Are you saying I have bad movie tastes?” I asked teasingly.

“N-no! Of c-course not!” He stuttered, waving his free hand in the air. “Th-they just didn’t have the best marketing!”

I laughed gently, nudging his side playfully, “I’m just teasing.” I wasn’t really paying attention to where we were going, just enjoying my time with Eddie while also trying to silently struggle with the plushie I got. I’m glad I got it, but it was kind of an inconvenience while walking. I nearly stumbled when we stopped outside of a restaurant. Eddie opened the door for me, and I walked in. This was by far the best date I’ve ever been on. Fun at the arcade, restful at the movie, and now a dinner to top it all off?

As we were seated, Eddie practically rushed to push my chair in for me. And people say chivalry is dead. Well I suppose calling a villain chivalrous is quite ironic, but I digress. We made some small talk while looking over the options. It wasn’t too many, but not too little either. I managed to find something I liked, and I was glad that we were getting something to eat because I was starting to get quite hungry.

“Do you know what you want?” Eddie asked. “I’ll order it for you.”

I was about to protest, but the sweet look in his eyes had my arguments die in my throat. So instead, I told him what I wanted, and he seemed to concentrate hard to remember it perfectly. He was just too cute. I wonder how no one has scooped him up yet. I’m one lucky person for him to be interested in me.

As the waiter came by to take our orders, Eddie managed to get them out without one stutter. I smiled at him proudly. The food came around quickly, thankfully.

“Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?” I asked mindlessly, before taking a bite out of my food.

Eddie hummed as he swallowed his bite, “Just finishing up my one plan. Hopefully I can execute it properly.” He slightly deflated at the thought.

Reaching over, I rested my hand over his, causing his gaze to linger on mine, “I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully. After all, you are the smartest man I’ve ever met.”

His cheeks dusted a light pink, either from the touch, or the praise, I wasn’t sure. Probably a mix from both. He pushed his glasses up, seeming to push down his self deprecation and nodded. I knew he wasn’t pushing it because he didn’t want to ruin the date, but I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn’t just lying to him.

“I wouldn’t go on a date with just anyone you know,” I smiled, gently rubbing my thumb over his knuckles before letting go to continue eating.

That seemed to have gotten to him a bit better as he seemed lost for words. He praised me all the time, so I knew that he couldn’t refute anything when it came to me. It was a nice thought, that he saw me so highly, I just wish he could see himself the way I saw him.

Dinner went smoothly after that. And as we exited the restaurant, I realized we’ll have to walk all the way back to my place. Not that I didn’t want to spend more time with Eddie, it’s just that my body was starting to get sore with all the walking we’ve done today. Not to mention I had to carry the plushie at an awkward angle, making my arm sore.

“Do you think we could catch a cab?” I asked Eddie sheepishly, messing with the ear of my plushie.

“Ye-yeah!” Eddie nodded. The ride to my place was quick, and it was nice to rest my head on Eddie’s shoulder. He was less tense about it than earlier which was nice. When the familiar building appeared, I couldn’t help but feel myself relax. I had a wonderful day with Eddie, but a bath sounds plenty nice at the moment.

Like the gentlemen Eddie is, he walked me to my door, the cab driving off.

“I had a great night tonight,” I said with a smile towards Eddie. He wore his own, eyes gleaming under the streetlight. “Thank you Eddie.”

“Thank you,” He replied. “For allowing me the chance.”

“You always had a chance,” I teased. And then it was silent, except for the cars in the background. I watched as Eddie’s gaze dropped to my lips for a split second before looking away. I knew he wouldn’t make the first move, and if I learned anything from tonight, he was more open to affection than I thought.

So, in a fit of bravery, I leaned in, placing my lips on his. He was frozen for a second, before gently kissing me back. I raised a hand to hold his cheek gently, taking in how soft he felt. His lips were warm, his skin was smooth, and even his hair on his sideburns was surprisingly soft to the touch. I was about to pull away, but was surprised when Eddie placed a hand on my neck, keeping me close to him. I gave him a few more seconds before pulling away, the burn in my lungs delicious. But the sounds he let out were even better. He was more intoxicating than he will ever realize because the urge to kiss him was strong, but I’ll save that for the second date.

“Good night Eddie,” I spoke, breaking him out of the little trance he seemed to be in.

“G-good night!” Eddie replied as I gave him a kiss on the cheek for good measure. I waved at him as I entered my place. Licking my lips, I tasted the slight salt from his skin. He had been sweating after our kiss. I could only shake my head at the thought, only wondering what Eddie would surprise me with next time.

#riddler x reader #edward nygma x reader #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #edward nygma #riddler #the riddler #edward nashton #x reader #young justice riddler #young justice riddler x reader

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year

Text

Lavender - Ch. 4

Trying to get back to normal after sleeping with your boss is easier said than done. A continuation of chapters 1-3, found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 8.3k

Warnings: Mild violence (full fic is pretty smutty so Minors DNI). No use of Y/N.

“Ugh, I’m so jealous of how cute you always make your apartments,” your friend, Cassie, was splayed out like a starfish in the middle of your living room floor. “Why aren’t we roommates? I want a cute apartment.”

“You had a cute apartment,” you replied, stretched out on your couch, one leg dangling off the side of it. “When I helped you unpack it. And then you trashed it within a week. Which is why we’re not roommates.”

“I’d keep it clean if I had the right motivation,” she pouted. You smiled.

“No you wouldn’t. I’d keep it clean and you’d reap the benefits. Which is why we’re not roommates.”

“I hate that you’re right,” she sighed. You laughed.

“But thank you for helping me settle in to this place,” you said, looking around your freshly unpacked living room, a pile of broken down boxes sitting by your front door. “It made it a lot easier, having an extra set of hands.”

It was true. After Joel and Tommy had left the day before, you’d basically just cried half the night, sitting on your couch and staring into space and trying to think about anything besides what you’d been doing the night before. When you went to bed, you told yourself you were getting up and unpacking in the morning. You had to keep going. Just because things hadn’t worked out with Joel didn’t mean you got to derail your life, even if that’s all you really felt like doing.

When Cassie called to see if you wanted help unpacking, you’d jumped on it. You didn’t have a ton of stuff but you had enough that it seemed a bit overwhelming to do on your own. She helped you get through every last box, setting knick-knacks out on the bookshelves and putting plates in cupboards and hanging dresses in your closet. Now, the job was done, the Janis Joplin album you’d been listening to past the end, a pleasant crackle the only thing coming from your newly-set up record player.

“Happy to do anything to put off studying for finals,” she sighed, her southern drawl thick. You snorted. “Haven’t actually been able to talk with you much lately, how was it living with the DILF?”

“Cass!” You gaped at her. She smirked. “Come on…”

“What!” She laughed. “I’ve only met him like twice but dude is hot. Like if he was in hell I’d buy a one way ticket hot.”

“You’re insane,” you groaned.

“And I can’t believe you haven’t made a move on him,” she said. “I mean, the set up could not be better. Or more porn-y. You’re the hot babysitter! All young and sexy hanging around his house all the time. All you’d probably have to do is drop one hint and he’d be all over you…”

“Turns out all I had to do was strip and get in his pool while tipsy,” you said before you could talk yourself out of it. Cassie sat up so fast it looked like she was on a spring.

“YOU WHAT?” She shrieked.

“Shhh!” You hissed, waving at her. “I just moved in, I’d rather my neighbors not hate me already…”

“You fucked the DILF?” She sat up on her knees and scooted across the floor until she was in your face.

“Can you call him something else, please?” You groaned.

“Did you fuck him?” She demanded. “I’ll call him that again if you don’t spill.”

“I… had sex with Joel,” you winced as you said it. She squealed, grabbing a pillow and smacking you with it. “Ow.”

“When?” She demanded. “How? How was it? What are you doing now? Details, woman!”

“Friday night?” You asked more than answered.

“Oh my God,” she got up, lifting your legs off the couch and putting them on the floor so she could sit next to you. You sighed and sat up, tucking yourself into the corner and clutching a pillow to your stomach, your legs curled beside you. “Wait, was that your first time? That was your first time, right?”

“Yeah,” you winced again. She grabbed the pillow and hit your legs with it again.

“Oh. My. God.” She smacked you with the pillow on each word and you groaned, burying your face in the pillow on your lap. “How’d it happen?”

You pulled your face from the pillow and sighed.

“I made him dinner,” you said. “Well, I made him and Sarah dinner but Sarah ended up at a friend’s house for a slumber party so it was just the two of us…”

“Sure, sure,” she nodded along. “You’re a great cook, not surprised that seduced him.”

“I wasn’t trying to seduce him,” you groaned. “I swear, I really wasn’t…”

“You’ve had a crush on the guy for more than a year,” she rolled her eyes. “It was at least subconscious seduction.”

“Either way,” you sighed. “I’d been cooking and it was warm and I asked if I could swim but I didn’t have a swim suit…”

“So you skinny dipped.”

“No!” You glared at her. “I… jumped in the pool in my underwear.”

“Girl!”

“It wasn’t even sexy underwear!” You replied. “But I did… take my dress off in front of him.”

“Oh my GOD you big slut!” Cassie was giddy. You groaned. “I love it, tell me more.”

“He seemed to like me taking my clothes off?” You more asked than said. You were still uncertain about that, just how much he’d actually liked it.

“Well duh,” she shrugged. “You’re a hot young thing, of course he liked it, he’s a guy.”

“I didn’t think he saw me that way,” your hold on the pillow tightened. “But I saw how he was looking at me… or I thought I did, anyway. So he got in the pool too, in his boxers…” She shrieked before covering her mouth and nodding you on. “ And then… one thing led to another.”

“So was it good?” She asked. You blushed and nodded. “OK, how good? Like, I know you don’t have much to compare it to but…”

“Cass,” you said earnestly. “It was… holy shit. It was so fucking good.”

“Did you…” she raised her eyebrows at you. You just frowned. She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God you’re such a virgin.”

“Not anymore,” you smirked a little. She glared at you.

“You know what I’m asking,” she said. “Did you finish? Or at least get close? It was your first time, you can’t really expect…”

“Oh, I finished,” you cut her off. She looked surprised.

“You seem awful certain of yourself there.”

“Because I finished a lot,” you said, smiling in spite of yourself. “And hard. So many times, Cass.”

She blinked in shock.

“How many times?” She asked. You thought for a second.

“Well, there was twice in the pool,” you said. “Then once in the shower and two more times in bed… I think that’s it.”

“How many times did you fuck him?” She demanded.

“Just twice!” You said, defensive.

“And he got you off five times.”

You just nodded.

“Holy shit,” she gaped at you. “I’d need to fuck Chad like 15 times to have five orgasms, and that’s just if he hits his average.”

You just shrugged, not really sure what else to say.

“That’s it,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Now that Chad and I are done, next guy I date is going to be a DILF. I’m not settling for anything less than multiple orgasms from day one.”

“I’m sorry about you and Chad,” you said. She waved you off.

“I’m not dating anyone who has friends like Jeremy,” she scoffed. “Fuck that guy. Fuck both those guys. Besides, now I’m free to find myself a DILF. Anyway, what are you guys going to do now? Have you talked about it?”

“We’re not doing anything about it,” you sighed. “I’m his daughter’s nanny and he said he has to do what’s best for her. Which he’s right, he does. And that’s not me.”

You tried to fight the tears that were welling up in you but you didn’t do a good job of it, pinching the bridge of your nose to keep from crying.

“Oh, sweetie,” Cassie’s voice softened, her typical bravado gone. She pulled you against her, running her hand down your back. “I’m so sorry.”

“I did it to myself,” you sniffed into her shoulder. “He’s a good dad, his daughter takes priority. I knew that, I knew this could happen….”

“Are you still going to work for him?” She asked, still holding you.

“Yeah,” you said. “At least, I sure hope so. I don’t have another way to pay rent this summer.”

She pulled back from you, a sad look on her face.

“Think you can handle that?” She asked. “Being around the guy you love and you lost your virginity to that often?”

“I never said I loved him,” you wiped your cheeks.

“Oh honey,” she smiled sadly. “C’mon. I’m not that dumb and I know you’re not that dumb.”

“I’ll just…” you shrugged. “I’ll deal with it. I don’t have another way to pay rent and I really don’t want to just leave Sarah like that. I’m an adult. When you do adult stuff sometimes you have to deal with adult consequences. Right?”

She just sighed.

“I’m sleeping over,” she said. Before you opened your mouth to protest, she cut you off. “No, I am. You need ice cream and you need liquor and I need… to have an excuse to not study for my chem final.” You laughed and she smiled. “It’ll be better tomorrow. Promise.”

She was right, it was a bit better the next day. The hollow ache in your chest was better when she was there. Cassie got bourbon and insisted that it didn’t really count as drinking it when you just poured it over ice cream. You ordered a pizza loaded with mushrooms and extra cheese and watched your favorite romantic comedies before eventually passing out on the floor of your living room, surrounded by the glow of TV static and empty wine bottles.

Finals felt particularly hard that year. You’d always been a good test taker and studying had never been a major hurdle for you, but every class felt like a slog as you fought to get through your last week of the semester. It was like your brain was somewhere else entirely. You could focus on the exam for a few minutes if you really forced yourself to, but the second your mind drifted even slightly, you were wondering what Joel was doing. What was he feeling? Was he missing you or had Friday night barely even registered for him?

Sometimes, when your heart and mind wanted to be especially cruel, your thoughts drifted to Friday night. Just how full you’d felt and how empty you felt now. How he’d carefully, expertly drawn pleasure from your body like it was an art form. The way you’d felt closer to him than you had to any other person. And then he’d cut you off cold. Hadn’t even called. Maybe it really hadn’t mattered to him. Which was fine. Or so you tried to convince yourself. Just because it had been special for you doesn’t mean it had to be special for him and that was OK. It’s not like you hadn’t enjoyed it. That’s all he’d really owed you, you supposed. A good time in bed. And he’d definitely delivered on that.

That’s what you decided the night before you were set to start looking after Sarah again. It had been two weeks since you’d last seen or heard from Joel. You weren’t sure what seeing him again would do to you. It wasn’t like you were some heartbroken little girl but you weren’t going to pretend like it wasn’t going to hurt. It definitely was. But, if you thought about it as a one night thing - just an exchange between two people who wanted to have some fun - that made it a bit better. Like you hadn’t been let down.

“You can do this,” you said to yourself as you stared up at the ceiling. “It’s just work. You’ve always had a crush on Joel. This isn’t any different than before. You’ll hardly see the guy. You can do this.”

Your resolve wavered a bit as you knocked on his front door the next morning. There was no response but you could hear voices inside. You glanced at your watch. 7:25 a.m. He’d need to leave for work in 20 minutes. You’d always just let yourself in the summer before… You tested the door. Unlocked.

“You can do this,” you said again, opening the front door.

“But I want to go!” Sarah was all but yelling at her father. “It’s not fair!”

“I don’t care if it’s fair or not,” Joel said back, sounding exasperated. “You’re not going, you’re too young…”

“But everyone’s going!” She whined.

You went further into the house, frowning as you fidgeted with the pendent around your neck.

“Don’t care if everyone in Austin is goin’ because you ain’t,” Joel’s accent was getting thicker. You half smiled. This fight had probably been going for a minute. You found them both in Sarah’s room, the girl standing defiantly with her arms crossed, staring her father down, Joel with his hands on his hips looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

“Where isn’t she going?” You asked, leaning against the doorway. Both of their heads whipped around to see you, Sarah’s face lighting up and Joel’s mouth just hanging open slightly.

“Maybe you can convince him,” Sarah said. “He actually LISTENS to you…”

“I’m not exactly a great parent convincer,” you scrunched your nose at her. “I just let you get away with more than he does so you think I am.”

Joel was still gaping at you.

“Sorry,” you said, meeting his gaze. “Door was open, I don’t think you heard me knock over the thermonuclear war happening in here so I just let myself in…”

“That’s fine,” he said quickly. “Just… How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” you shrugged. “Finals are over, so that’s nice.”

“Good,” he said, nodding. “That’s… I never did… Well I didn’t go to school so I don’t know shit about finals but probably good to have them done.”

“Yeah,” you said. “Biochem was rough but I got an A-.”

You just looked at each other for a moment.

“Where isn’t Sarah going?” You asked eventually.

“A pool party,” Sarah said. “There’s a boy at school…”

“And there it is,” Joel cut her off, turning his attention back to his daughter. “You’re not going, I can’t be there so you’re not going. You’re too young to be going and hanging out with some boy in your bathing suit…”

“It’s not like we’re going to be by ourselves, Dad!” She whined. “You’re being so lame!”

“Sarah,” he sighed.

“Joel?” You said. He turned his head to face you so fast it almost made you jump. “Can I talk to you? Just… 30 seconds.” You looked at Sarah. “No eavesdropping.”

You led the way to the living room, pulling Joel into the corner of the room furthest from Sarah’s bedroom door.

“Are you only opposed because she’d be going unsupervised?” You asked.

“Well, that and she’s too young for boy girl parties,” he muttered. “I thought I had another three years before I had to deal with this shit. Two at least.”

“Well yeah, she’s too young for THAT kind of boy girl party but she’s 10,” you shrugged. “I think you’re trying to make this more than it is. She’s got that one piece, right?”

“She’s gotten taller since last summer though…” he looked back towards her room.

“OK,” you shrugged. “I’ll take her shopping, find her something that she likes that you’ll sign off on and I’ll take her to the party and make sure all the boys behave themselves.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” he shook his head.

“You’re not,” you shrugged. “I’m offering. It’s going to be a party which means plenty of kids. She’ll probably feel very left out if she doesn’t get to go and all her friends are going to be talking about it all summer if they’re not all together again until the school year starts. You really want to deal with her being pissy at you that long? Because tween girls are a whole different animal, they can hold grudges like no other…”

“Fine,” he sighed. “But if she’s not a damn angel this whole week…”

“Sarah’s always an angel,” you smirked a bit at him.

“We both know that ain’t true,” he muttered and then sighed. “But she’s a good kid. A great kid. I should give her more credit, huh?”

“Yup,” you nodded. “You lucked out with that one, Miller.”

“I did,” he sighed again, before looking down at you. “Hey, um…”

“I’d rather not talk about it if that’s OK?” You said quickly. “Just go tell your kid that you’re the cool dad and then go to work, OK?”

His eyes searched yours for a moment.

“Yeah, OK.”

When Joel told Sarah she could go to the pool party, it was like a switch flipped. She flung her arms around her dad’s neck, leaping at him so he had to catch her. He smiled over her shoulder at you and you smiled back. It was so easy, making them both happy. You could do that.

When Joel left for work, things got easier. It was easy to pretend that the house was the same as it had always been - definitely hadn’t been fucked within an inch of your life in here, no sir. You fell into an easy rhythm with Sarah, walking down to the new playground they’d put in at the park down the road - this one had a really tall slide that the bigger kids were all about. Walking back for lunch. You went to the mall that day to shop for a swim suit instead of going to the library and you found a suit that Sarah loved (it was a two piece) that you thought Joel could tolerate (it was a tankini that covered everything but a sliver of skin between the top and the bottoms.) Joel got home a little after five and you all but ran out the door even as he tried to make awkward small talk with you.

It was odd, feeling accomplished about just surviving the day. But you’d seen Joel again and hadn’t even cried. Yet. You probably would later but you’d deal with that when the time came. You decided you’d earned a treat but your bank account balance was a bit dismal, so you stopped at your favorite coffee shop. Yes, it just so happened to be the one you’d met Joel at the first time, so what? You could do that. Just go there without thinking about him. Much.

You got yourself an iced lavender latte and at a small table at the back, tucking yourself into the corner of the bench side of it and pulling out your book. You’d purposely picked something that you’d have to focus on - “The Count of Monte Cristo” in the original French - so your mind wouldn’t wander to dangerous places. Like how Joel still smelled like sawdust.

“That final was a bitch, wasn’t it?”

You jumped a little, looking around for who spoke. There was a man in front of you, about your age, smiling with open eyes, leaning on the chair across from you.

“I’m sorry?” You asked, lowering the book.

“Biochem,” he said, giving you a sheepish half smile. “We weren’t in the same lab but we were in the same lecture hall. You always sat near the front, on the side of the room with the wonky projector? You always got to class earlier than me…”

“Oh,” you weren’t really sure what to say about that. You smiled anyway. “Yeah, that sounds like me. And yeah, that final… woof.”

“Right?” He took the seat across from you. “I thought I was toast. Heard a rumor you set the curve, though.”

“Seems like a vicious lie to me,” you smiled a little broader. “Couldn’t possibly have a reliable source for that…”

“Just the TA,” he winked. You put your book face down on the table, keeping your place. “Are you pre-med then?”

“Just bio,” you replied. “I’d love to do pre-med but I just can’t wrap my head around taking out enough student loans to become a doctor.”

“Damn,” he said. “And here I’d hoped we’d have more classes together.”

“Why would you hope for a thing like that?” You asked, smiling a bit bigger.

“The pre-med lecture halls look real boring after a while,” he leaned on the small table. “Course, maybe that’s a good thing. Fewer distractions.”

“I’m a distraction?” You asked, raising a brow at him.

“A nice one,” he nodded. “Because without you there, I usually set the curve.”

You chatted with him for a while longer. His name was Brad and he claimed to have been trying to work up the courage to talk to you all semester. He took running into you at the coffee shop to be a sign that he should actually say something to you. You didn’t fight him on the idea. He seemed… nice. He was flirting with you and it felt good, even if you weren’t especially interested in him.

“Are you free Friday?” He asked. “My roommate’s band is playing and I’ll be honest, I’d love to have someone suffer with me.”

“I mean, since you’re selling it so hard,” you teased. He laughed.

“They’re actually not bad,” he said. “I just don’t want to show up with the prettiest girl and have her run off with the lead guitarist. Also, my roommate’s the lead guitarist.”

“Oh, so the bassist is fine?” You raised your eyebrows.

“Yeah, that’d sting less,” he said. “Plus the bassist is kind of a dumbass and you’re smart so you’ll get bored quick. I’d still have a shot.”

“Well so long as the important things are settled,” you smiled. “Then yeah, I’d like to come.”

You exchanged information and you put his number in your book as a bookmark, gathering your things and heading home as the coffee shop closed.

“You need to dress like a slut.” Cassie was rifling through your closet Thursday night. You’d managed to avoid Joel for almost the entire week, saying only a handful of words to him since Monday. You practically tripped over yourself trying to get out the door when he came home, desperate to put some distance between you. He wasn’t exactly trying to stop you, either, seemingly happy to get you out of his hair as soon as humanly possible. You kept trying to think about Brad. He was nice. He was smart. He was definitely interested. He was even pretty cute. He just… wasn’t Joel.

“I’m not dressing like a slut,” you sighed, flat on your back on your bed, your head hanging over the side as you watched her go through your clothes.

“Want to borrow something from me?” She said, ignoring you. “You need something that says ‘hey Brad, I’m open for business.’”

“Do I?” You asked.

“Want to get over Joel?” She asked, cocking her head all the way to the side to try to meet your eyes. “Fuck Brad.”

“It’s a first date,” you said. “I’m not fucking Brad.”

“Fucked Joel without a first date,” she muttered.

“Hey!” You said, indignant. “That’s different. We’d known each other a while.”

“Well Brad’s been gazing longingly across a lecture hall at you for half a year,” she replied. “That almost counts.”

“I wish I could be more casual about sex…” you began but she interrupted you.

“The way you become more casual about sex is by having casual sex,” she said. “Sweetie, it’s not that big of a deal, I promise it’s not. At least think about it, something to get that man out of your system. You need it.”

You sighed, thinking for the millionth time about how good he’d felt sinking into your body. How close you felt to him when talking in the dark, his skin on yours.

“Yeah,” you signed, trying to imagine what it would be like to feel Brad’s lips on your skin. But he kept changing shape until it wasn’t Brad in your mind anymore. “I do need it.”

Friday was Sarah’s pool party, making it a pretty damn easy day for you at work. You brought a bottle of nail polish and you sat on the deck of the pool as you just watched Sarah and Lizzie play with Charlie - the boy that had Joel so worried, a red headed kid who looked like he was made of more freckles than anything else - and about a dozen other kids you didn’t know. You gave yourself a mani-pedi poolside, trying to keep from getting soaked by splashing kids.

“So are you Sarah’s step-mom?” A woman smiled stiffly down at you, a small pile of towels in her arms.

“Oh, no,” you laughed a little. “Just the nanny.”

“Oh!” She laughed back, her smile becoming a bit more genuine. She sat down next to you. “I’m Clare’s mom, she’s the one in the blue suit.” She pointed her daughter out. She was leaping into the water, blonde pigtails streaming out behind her.

“She seems like a fun kid,” you smiled before going back to your toes.

“She’s the best,” she said. You felt her watching you. “So you’re just the nanny then?”

“Last time I checked,” you said absently, cleaning up the stray polish on your big toe. “Why?”

“Oh, no big reason,” she laughed a little. “I’d just… well, I’d be lying if I said just about every single mom here hasn’t had her eye on Joel Miller.”

“Really?” You said, looking over at her.

“Oh heck yeah,” she laughed. “I mean, you’ve met him. Obviously. A man who looks that good, knows how to fix things around the house AND he’s a dedicated parent? My goodness.”

“Mr. Miller is pretty great,” you smiled tightly, going back to your polish. “Really nice boss. And Sarah’s a dream. I lucked out.”

“I’m just relieved you’re not the girlfriend,” she said. “Not for me, of course. Happily married for 13 years. But my friend Susan over there would be heartbroken. She sent me over to do recon.”

You glanced up and saw a woman in a lime green one piece eyeing you from across the pool. She had to be 20 years older than you which gave her a good 10 years on Joel.

“Feel free to report back that Mr. Miller is - as far as the nanny is aware - very much on the market,” you said, closing the bottle of nail polish. Sarah shoved Lizzie in the pool and then jumped in after her with a shriek. “Susan should definitely give it a go, though. Mr. Miller’s busy but I think he’d make time for the right person.”

“Thanks so much, sweetie,” she smiled broadly. “So nice to meet you! Hope to see you at more of these types of things.”

“You too,” you smiled politely.

The pool party wound down but Sarah and Lizzie were getting on like a house on fire. You found Lizzie’s mom - a nice if frazzled woman named Margie who you’d met a few times before - and invited her daughter over to keep swimming at the Millers’ until Joel got home around six.

“Oh, you’re a dream!” She pulled you into a hug. “I’ve been desperate to go run some errands without Lizzie tossing stuff in the cart…”

“No problem,” you smiled. “Happy to take the girls.”

They sang Britney Spears on the top of their lungs the whole drive home and practically hurled themselves into the pool the second they were in the door. You just laughed, going to sit outside to watch them play, bringing your book to keep you occupied. You’d almost survived the first week of summer. You hadn’t caved and tried to fuck Joel again. You could do this. You were almost positive.

***

Joel heard the shriek of girls in the backyard the second his truck door opened. He sighed and shook his head. So Sarah had conned you into having a friend over, even after the party. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised. He just hoped to God you weren’t in the pool, too. He didn’t think he could take that.

He was surprised he’d survived as long as he had. He’d missed you the second he left your apartment the day he helped move you in. Regretted cutting things off with you almost instantly. It seemed like the right thing to do but it felt wrong. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this fucking alone.

If Sarah had been at a friend’s house that night, he’d have just shown up at your door. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that he couldn’t leave his 10-year-old daughter unsupervised. He wanted to apologize to you, beg you to give him a chance. He’d get down on his knees, he didn’t care.

But just because he wanted that didn’t mean that it was the right thing to do. It would be confusing for Sarah if it didn’t work out - and how could it work out? You were 21 and a college student with a bright future, he was 32 and his life hadn’t been his own in a decade. Sarah had kept him close to home, reminded him of what he should do. What he had to do.

Then, summer started. You were there in the morning as he tried to get out the door, you were there at night when he got home. He knew you weren’t trying to turn him on - if anything, you were avoiding him like the plague. You’d hardly said two words to him since Monday. But your legs in those shorts, your breasts in those dresses, the ribbons you put on the ends of your braids when you were trying to keep your hair off your neck in the heat. You were so soft and sweet and fucking good and there in his house and he knew how it felt to be inside you…

You’d better not be in his fucking pool.

You weren’t. But it was almost worse. You were laid out on a lounge chair on the deck, your back to the door, in white shorts so short he was sure he’d see your ass if you bent over in front of him. Your pale purple tank top clung to you and he could see a hint of a pink bra strap below. You were reading a book in French - because of course you were reading a book in fucking French - and there were ribbons on the ends of your braids. Your nails were pink. He was sure they hadn’t been pink when he saw you this morning. You’d painted your goddamn nails. Why had you painted your goddamn nails?

“Dad!” Sarah clambered out of the pool in the new suit you’d helped her find. You noticed him then, not having realized he’d gotten home. “Thank you so so so so so so so so much, the party was SO fun…”

She threw her wet body against him in a hug.

“Glad you had fun,” he gave her a squeeze and glanced down at you. You were watching him, shielding your eyes from the sun with your hand, smiling gently. “She behave herself?”

“Of course,” you said, gathering up some scrap paper from the table beside you and putting it in your book. One piece of paper looked like it had a phone number on it. Joel frowned. “It seemed like everyone had a blast, no trouble at the party whatsoever.”

“Good,” Joel said. Whose number did you have? Was it some fucking boy’s? Was that why you’d painted your damn nails? You checked your watch.

“Lizzie’s mom should be here any minute,” you said, getting up from the chair and crossing your arms over your body. Like that was going to stop him from remembering just what you looked like naked. “You’re home a bit earlier than I expected. I can hang out for a bit until she gets here, I don’t want to saddle you with watching an extra kid…”

“No, you go on home,” he waved you off. He couldn’t handle you being here any longer than you had to be. “Get a start on the weekend.”

“You’re sure?” You asked, absently running your fingers over your elbow.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” you smiled tightly back at him. “Have a good weekend, Joel.” You looked back to the pool, where Sarah had jumped back in. “Bye Sarah!”

“Bye!” She waved quickly before going back to splashing Lizzie. Joel watched you go until well after you’d closed the front door behind you and he couldn’t see you anymore.

Margie came by to pick up Lizzie not long after you left, both adults required to herd both girls out of the pool.

“Would Sarah want to come sleep over?” Margie asked as the girls giggled and wrote new verses to songs Joel was sure he’d heard coming from the boom box in Sarah’s room.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to put you out,” he shook his head. “Feels like Sarah’s over at y’all’s place as much as she is here…”

“Honestly, it makes life easier on us,” she smiled. “Sarah’s such a great kid, she keeps Lizzie occupied so I can deal with her brothers. The boys are such a handful… don’t have twins if you can help it, Joel.”

“I’ll try my best,” he smiled. “If you’re really OK with it…”

“Really, you’d be doing me a favor,” she insisted. So Joel gave in. And he was home alone for the first time since he’d slept with you.

He showered and fucked his hand to the memory of making you cum in that shower. He sat on his bed, staring at his phone, telling himself not to call you. He dialed the first four digits of your phone number and then hung up.

After a while, he called Tommy.

“Shit, Joel, everything OK?”

“Why’s something gotta be wrong for me to call?” Joel frowned into the phone.

“Because it’s Friday night and you never fuckin’ call on a Friday night,” Tommy said.

“Well, I’m callin’ on a Friday night,” Joel pinched the bridge of his nose. “You doin’ anything fun tonight?”

“Why?” Joel could hear Tommy’s frown through the phone. “Gonna come drag the party down?”

“No,” he replied. “Sarah’s just at a friend’s house and I was thinking I should actually get out of my house for a change.”

“Hell yeah you should!” Tommy said. “I’m going to go listen to some music, should be just your speed…”

“I could do that,” Joel said. He hadn’t gone to listen to music in a while. That could be fun. It’d get his mind off you, at least.

“I’ll be by in 20, pick you up,” Tommy said, sounding excited. “This will be good for you, Joel. Promise.”

And that’s how Joel ended up at a bar in Austin, watching a bunch of fuckin’ kids tune guitars on a Friday night.

“We’re getting old,” Tommy handed him a bottle of Shiner. “I remember not showing up places like this until after 10. Now it’s not worth the cover charge if we show up that late.”

“Tell me about it,” Joel muttered, taking a swig. “Barely remember ever being that young.”

“When you were that young you had a kid,” Tommy said. Joel snorted. He was right.

They drank and watched as the bar filled up, the band switching to soundcheck not too long after they got there. Joel was actually starting to have fun when the band started playing - they weren’t bad - when he caught a flash of white out of the corner of his eye. He looked instinctively and thought, for half a second, that his eyes were playing tricks on him. But they weren’t. It was you.

You hadn’t seen him yet. You were wearing one of your dresses - one he hadn’t seen before, white and satiny and form fitting, stopping several inches above your knees. You’d put another fucking ribbon in your hair and curled it, making it look so full and soft. He wanted to tangle his fingers in it, he wanted to ruin it. You were wearing sandals with thick heels that made you taller and your legs look longer and there was gloss on your lips - he caught a glimpse of it when you turned to talk to the man next to you. A man who put his hand on your lower back. Fuck.

He guided you to a corner of the room, introduced you to the band waiting to play next. Joel could only see you from behind, the white of your dress reflecting the lights from the stage, the man’s hand slipping around your waist. His pinky drifted down, brushing the top of your ass, his thumb running over your ribs. Joel squeezed the beer bottle so hard he was worried it would break.

“Oh shit, that’s the Kid!” Tommy said, realizing where Joel was looking and getting down from his stool.

“No, wait,” Joel said, but he didn’t catch Tommy in time, his brother pushing through the increasingly crowded bar until he hugged you from behind. Joel could just watch, like a fucking train wreck, as you realized he was there and that Tommy was all but dragging you and your date over to their table. You said your polite goodbyes to the band and turned and said something to your date, your eyebrows knitted together.

“Look who I found!” Tommy said proudly, taking his seat again.

“Hey Joel,” you smiled tightly at him.

“Hey Kid,” he replied, taking a drink of beer. Fuck, your tits in that dress. He wanted to kiss you, starting at your lips and working his way down until his mouth was on your cleavage.

“This is Brad,” you said quickly. “Brad, this Joel. I nanny his daughter, Sarah.”

“Oh, so you’re the boss!” Brad smiled. He was abnormally tall, taller than Joel, with hair that looked like he was trying to be in a fucking boy band. He was all limbs, gangly, clearly never done a day’s hard work in his life. And he was out with you. He held out a hand. “Good to meet you.”

“You too.”

Tommy looked back and forth between you, your date and Joel.

“I need another beer,” he said quickly. “Kid, can I get you something? Joel? Brad?”

“I’ll take a Shiner,” you smiled.

“I’ll come with you,” Brad said, giving you a quick squeeze before looking to Joel. “Look out for my girl for a minute, will ya?”

“Yeah,” Joel said. He took another drink. Tommy and Brad left the table and you watched them go for a moment before turning back to Joel.

“I’m really sorry,” you said quickly, biting your lip. “I had no idea you’d be here, Brad’s roommate’s band is up next but we can go…”

“It’s just a bar, Kid,” Joel shrugged. “No reason for anyone to go anywhere.”

“Oh,” you deflated a bit. “OK. Thanks.”

“Yup,” he said, taking another drink. He needed to be a lot drunker than this. So much drunker than this. You watched the band, your head bobbing in time to the music.

“So you’re his girl now, huh?” Joel said after a moment.

“It’s our first date,” you said, tone sharper than usual. He deserved that. “I don’t know what I am yet.”

“Seems to think you’re his girl,” he replied.

“It’s a figure of speech, Joel.”

“You fucked ‘em yet?” He asked, taking another drink. He did it to be mean. He did it to push you away. He couldn’t just sit here with you this close, not like this. Your mouth fell open for a second before you fixed him with a glare.

“You don’t get to just ask me that,” you snapped. There were tears in your eyes, clinging to your eyelashes that were longer and darker than usual. “You don’t get to judge me for that. Just because you got bored with me doesn’t mean everyone has, I can fuck whoever I want. It’s none of your damn business!”

“One Shiner!” Brad slid his arm back around your waist, handing you one of the beers in his other hand. You took it from him, taking a drink while blinking back your tears. Brad hadn’t noticed but Tommy had, frowning and looking between you and Joel as he wordlessly set another beer in front of his brother.

“Thank you,” you sniffed for a second and smiled up at him before turning back to the table. “I think I want to get up closer to the band, but it was good to see you Tommy, Joel. Have a good weekend, guys.”

You laced your fingers in Brad’s and pulled him behind you toward the stage. Your body disappeared behind his, Brad pressing himself against your back. One of his hands moved around you. Joel didn’t want to think about the parts of you he was touching with that fucking hand.

“What the fuck was that, Joel?” Tommy demanded.

“What was what?” He asked, not looking at him.

“That!” Tommy snapped. “With the Kid! Don’t treat me like I’m a fucking idiot, what happened between you two.”

“Nothin’ happened.”

“Well I know that’s bullshit,” he said. “What happened to ‘she’s off limits?’ Or was that rule just for me?”

“She is off limits,” Joel growled. “She’s especially off limits for me.”

“She know that?” Tommy demanded.

“Drop it, Tommy,” Joel snapped, smacking the beer bottle down on the table with more force than he’d meant to.

“Did you seriously fuck your nanny?” He hissed at him. Joel winced. “Jesus Christ Joel. You’ve got a lot of fuckin’ nerve…”

“I swear to God Tommy I will lay you out,” Joel said. “Don’t fuckin’ tempt me.”

“What’d you do, convince her you loved her and then bail?” He asked. “Doubt a sweet girl like that woulda just jumped in bed with the dad of one of the kids she looks after, so what’d you tell her?”

“Tommy,” Joel growled.

“Was it before or after you told me she was off limits?” He demanded. “You worried I’d actually do right by her and she’d get wise to your shit? Just how drunk’d you have to get her to get her into bed with you?”

Joel snapped. He stood up so fast the stool flew to the ground with a crash and he punched Tommy across the cheek, sending the younger man sprawling into the table next to him. It was like the whole bar froze. The band stopped playing, an eerie silence falling. Joel flexed his hand as his brother staggered back to his feet, holding his face.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole, Joel,” he said, breathless.

Joel looked up and immediately found your face in the crowd around the stage. Brad’s arms were around you, holding you back. Your eyes were wide, your mouth open in shock. Or maybe horror. He couldn’t quite tell.

“C’mon man,” a bouncer grabbed Joel’s shoulder but he shrugged it off.

“It’s cool,” Tommy glared at Joel as he said it. “Just my brother. He’s a dick. We’re goin’.”

Joel walked straight past Tommy’s truck, shoving the hand he’d hit him with in his pocket.

“Where the fuck you goin’ asshole?” Tommy yelled after him. Joel ignored him. Tommy ran and caught him, his hand on his shoulder pulling him around to face him. Joel got ready to punch him again but Tommy’s hands went up. “Don’t make this worse than it is. You want some meddling asshole to call the fuckin’ cops?”

Joel dropped his fist, glaring at his brother.

“You made a goddamn fool out of yourself,” he said, his cheek already bruising. “And you fuckin’ deserved it. The hell were you thinking, messing with that girl?”

Joel didn’t say anything, just went back and climbed in the passenger seat of Tommy’s truck.

The drive to Joel’s was silent and he hoped that was the end of it. But it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. Tommy followed him inside, either stupid as hell or itching for a fight.

“What happened, Joel?” He asked, voice calm for the first time since the bar. “With you and her.”

“Sarah was at a friend’s place,” he said, voice pained. “We had some wine… Fuck, Tommy, I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Shit,” he sighed, sitting on the couch. “When was this?”

“Few weeks back,” Joel muttered.

“And she’s still working for you?” Tommy asked. Joel just nodded. “And nothing’s happened since?”

“No,” Joel said.

“Because you’re not interested?” He asked. Joel glared at him. “Yeah, thought that might be the case.”

“Don’t matter how I feel about it,” he sighed. “She’s too young, too big a future ahead of her to get bogged down with me. And Sarah… Sarah fuckin’ loves her. I couldn’t ruin that for her just because I couldn’t keep it in my pants and I…”

Joel went quiet.

“And you what.”

“I think… I think I love her, Tommy,” Joel groaned. “I just want her here all the damn time. Want to hear her voice and see her things and smell her hair. I want her leaving her fuckin’ hair in my damn shower every day, I kept finding it for days after and I miss it. Keep hoping I’ll find more sometime. And that guy… He didn’t seem bad, not like that last fuckin’ guy but I don’t trust him, don’t trust any of them, not with her.”

“You can’t live like this, Joel,” Tommy said quietly. “Obviously. You can’t just go punching people because you’re a jealous asshole. You either need to get away from her entirely - which means cutting her out of Sarah’s life, too - or you need to figure your shit out. Either get over her or get with her - if she’ll still have you.”

Tommy stood up, clapping Joel on the shoulder.

“Sorry I hit you,” Joel muttered.

“Rather get punched in the face than deal with the shit you’ve got goin’ on,” Tommy smiled a bit. “You’ll get it together.”

“Thanks.”

He walked him out, locking the door behind him.

Joel wasn’t any calmer when Tommy left. He paced the living room for a bit before stepping out back, staring down at the pool, the place he’d stood the first time he’d kissed you. You were so fucking beautiful. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been quite as happy as that night, felt quite so right with the world. He knew he should regret it but he couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to regret a damn thing when it led to touching you.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, going back inside and grabbing his keys.

He made it to your place in less than 10 minutes, driving faster than he should have. Your car was in the lot but that didn’t mean much if you were still out with that guy. Or - fuck - what if you’d brought him back here. Didn’t matter, he’d made up his mind. If the guy was in your apartment, he wouldn’t punch him. It’d be hard, but he wouldn’t.

He took the stairs up to your door two at a time and started knocking before he came to a stop in front of it. But there was no response. He tried knocking again. Nothing.

Joel leaned out over the railing, around to where the windows to your apartment would be. All the lights looked to be off. So you were still out with Brad. Maybe you’d gone back to his place. After what he’d said to you that night, he wouldn’t blame you.

He sat down, back against the wall next to your door, crossing his arms and leaning his head back against the siding. He closed his eyes. He’d just be here when you got home. You’d have to come home sometime. He could wait. For you, he had all the time in the world.

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait that long. He heard you before he saw you.

“It was nuts, Cass,” you were trying to be quiet as you climbed the stairs to your apartment. “I don’t know what the hell happened. I tried to explain it to Brad but I have no idea what he thinks. Probably that my boss is insane…”

You were at the top of the stairs now, holding your phone to your ear with one hand, a small orange and white Whataburger cup clutched tight in the other. You stared at Joel for a second.

“Cass?” You said, still staring at him as he got to his feet. “Call you in the morning.”

You flipped the phone shut, putting it in your bag and getting out your keys, watching Joel the whole time like you thought he was a wild animal who could do something unhinged at any moment. Which, he figured, was fair.

“You’ve got some nerve,” you said, keeping your eyes on him as you went to your door and put the keys in the deadbolt, stopping short of opening it.

“I know,” he said. “Can we talk?”

You watched him for a moment before you sighed and opened your door, welcoming him in.

#joel miller x reader smut #joel x reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #fanfic #smut fic #joel miller x you #angst

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nonotnolan · 1 year

Text

Soul Stones: Long Distance

“It feels like it’s been forever since you’ve held me in your arms, and your trip is only halfway over. Honestly, I have no idea how people in long distance relationships can stand it.” The texts and calls helped alleviate some of the longing, but it was still rough knowing that Oliver was hours and hours away. Oliver wasn’t out to his parents, so when they told him about their plan to send him on vacation to Singapore for an entire month, he couldn’t really protest without raising suspicion. They were only going to pay for his ticket, and there was no way I’d be able to afford the trip on my own.

I placed my boyfriend on speakerphone so that I could scroll Instagram while we spoke. “At least everything is going fine over on my end. Same old boring life. My work gets done, my boss doesn’t hate me... could be worse. What about you, how’s your trip? If it’s even as half as good as these photos, it must be sweet.”

“Heh, yeah... it’s so gorgeous out here, Brian. Like, part of me says that I should be lying to you so that you don’t feel bad that you’re missing out, but... dude, we’ve gotta come back here later. I even managed to make a few friends with some guys who are also on vacation.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, you managed, did you? Yeah, I’m sure it was so hard for the extroverted socialite to make friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up...” he said, in that voice he uses when he knows I’m right. I could picture his blushing, and it was just entirely too cute. “But like, there wasn’t a guarantee there would be people my age here. I’m gonna count it as a win. Besides, you would not BELIEVE some of the people I’ve met. Like, this guy, Alfie? He’s the one I’ve tagged in a few of my other photos, and... well, I don’t want to ruin the surprise I mailed you.”

It was my turn to start blushing. “Ollie! You didn’t have to do that, what the heck? You’re on vacation, you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself! You don’t need to send me anything.”

“Well too bad, I sent it to you anyway.” Oliver had quickly shifted back to his normal smug self, which I had to admit was part of his charm. “Speaking of which-- have you checked your mail today? The tracking slip says it should have arrived by now. I think it’s small enough that they were able to put it in your mailbox.”

Sure enough, there was a small bubble-wrapped envelop waiting for me in my mailbox. Inside was a brown, marbled stone covered with intricate carved runes. “Oliver, it’s beautiful. What’s the story behind it? I didn’t expect Singapore to be known for its--”

There was a sudden lurch, and I suddenly found myself staring into the face of Oliver’s friend. That would have been weird enough, but it was clearly a mirror that I was staring at.

“It’s a body swapping stone,” Oliver said, coming up behind me and resting his hand on my shoulder. “Well, a pair of swapping stones. I didn’t believe it either, until Alfie showed me how they worked. It was his idea, obviously. He doesn’t need them anymore, and so he gifted them to me when I told him about our long distance situation. I figure you and Alfie can swap bodies Friday night, swap back sometime Sunday afternoon, and we can just... do that for a few weeks until the trip is over. And I’ll be taking mine home with me at the end of the trip, in case we ever need them again.”

I found myself running my hands along the ridges and curves of my new skin-- surprisingly soft new skin, I had to admit. “And Alfie is... fine with this? I mean, it sounds like swapping bodies every week was his idea, but like... He knows what we’re going to be doing to his body, right?”

“Of course, Brian. As long as I have permission to do the same in yours,” said the voice over the phone. I recognized it as the sound of my voice-- or, my body’s voice, I suppose-- though hearing from the outside was incredibly weird. It made sense that he’d be on the line, it wasn’t like I had hung up on him. “Oliver volunteered your body for me to use, but it’s not cool of me do to anything unless you tell me it’s okay.”

I hadn’t even considered that, to be honest. Granted, I was the only person who didn’t know that body swapping was possible a few minutes ago. “Yeah, of course, dude. Just, you know... use a condom, don’t drive my car if you’re hammered, that sort of thing. And I guess I’d rather you drive downtown if you’re looking for a random hookup, just so that you don’t run into anyone I know. Outside of that... good grief, Alfie. You’re doing us a huge favor! I can’t believe you’re just giving us these things.”

“Hey, I’m just glad someone is able to get good use out of those things,” he said. “I haven’t used them in several months, and... well, I don’t really need them anymore. I bought them for cheap, so it’s whatever. Just... do me a solid, and give them away if you see someone who could use ‘em.”

“Yeah, I think we can manage that,” Oliver said, looking over at my face. Now that the shock had worn off, I was already starting to get horny-- clearly he was feeling the same way. “Thanks again, Alfie, talk to you later!” He hung up, tossed his phone onto a nearby bed, and swept me up into his arms. If this is what our long distance relationship will look like? I think we can manage.

#male body swap #gay body swap #casual body swap #queer romance #soul stones

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dystopicjumpsuit · 6 months

Text

Stars Beyond Number - Chapter 12

Prayers to Broken Stone

Rating: M - Minors DNI

Pairings: Echo x Riyo Chuchi; Gregor x OFC Cerra Kilian

Wordcount: 4k

Warnings and tags: lots of fluff; tiny bit of angst; borderline SMUT but mostly just suggestive; a gross situation involving rotten fish; two idiots refusing to acknowledge the truth

Suggested Listening:

Summary: Rex and Echo receive some intel from the Batch; the scouting team returns from Raada; Gregor and Cerra go on a supply run.

A/N: This story shares continuity with Martyrs and Kings and "Do It Again," but all three fics can be read as stand-alones.

Lips that would kiss form prayers to broken stone.

—T. S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men”

Rex sat alone on the sofa, staring at a datafile on the holoprojector as Echo entered the garage hours later. Cerra was nowhere to be found.

“You see this?” Rex asked.

Echo moved closer and peered at the hologram. “No. What is it?”

“Came in from Tech while you were away.”

Echo checked his comlink and saw that there was indeed a message from Tech. “What’s it about?”

“Seems they had a run-in with the same type of creature that attacked Coruscant early in the war. The empire is,” Rex hesitated before continuing. “... cloning them.”

“What?” Echo asked, incredulous. “What does the Empire want with that thing?”

“Hard to say. That’s why Tech sent it to us—to find out.”

Echo grunted quietly in acknowledgment, staring at the hologram. “Where do we even start?”

“With this file,” Rex said. “I think it’s best to keep this between us until we know more.”

Echo glanced at him in surprise. “You don’t want to tell the rest of the team?”

“Nothing to tell. Yet.”

Echo waited a moment, uncomfortable with the idea of withholding intel from the rest of the team. When Rex showed no sign of continuing, he asked, “And when we do have something to tell?”

“Then we’ll cross that bridge,” Rex replied with finality.

He and Echo reviewed the extensive data that Tech had been able to retrieve, but it was clear that it would take a significant amount of time to analyze it all. They poked at it for a few hours, until a soft sound emanated from inside the barracks. Rex closed the datafile abruptly as the barracks door slid open and Cerra emerged, looking groggy and disheveled, sheet marks crisscrossing her face.

She mumbled an incoherent greeting and headed straight to the refresher. Echo glanced between her and Rex, wondering exactly what the captain was playing at with this secrecy. It didn’t sit well with Echo; he’d grown accustomed to the more open dynamic of the Batch, where intel was freely shared, and every member had a say in the final decision. Still, he was sure Rex had his reasons—even if keeping intel from teammates did remind him uncomfortably of his time in the GAR, when he simply followed orders and hoped that those in command knew what they were doing.

It wasn’t the first time Rex had withheld information from the larger group, Echo mused, recalling their earlier conversation about the rumored secret intelligence network. Rex had mentioned Admiral Yularen, and based on Cerra’s reaction to the name, Echo knew there was a story there. He wondered if she would ever feel comfortable sharing it with him.

“I don’t know what the Empire is even doing as far out as Raada, but it’s nothing good,” Fireball said.

“It’s remote even by Outer Rim standards,” Gregor added. “Sort of place where nobody goes unless they’re either hiding or out of other options. Hardly any population.”

“Tell me what you found,” Rex said.

“There’s an Imperial base there, all right,” Gregor said. “Big. Secure. Bit of overkill, if you ask me.”

“I couldn’t even contact Nemec,” Fireball said. “Comms were jammed.”

“They’re still setting up the base,” Gregor said. “That’s our ticket in. Only saw half as many troops as I’d expect for a base of that size.”

“So what, we stow away on a transport ship?” Echo asked. “I don’t know about you, but my armor might stand out a bit.”

“Cerra can work around it,” Gregor said confidently. “She’ll find us some of that junk stormtrooper armor. All we have to do is sneak into the Imperial military headquarters and get onto one of those transports.”

“Is that all?” Fireball asked drily. “While we’re dreaming, can I get a large Blue Milkshake and legal personhood?”

Cerra’s eyes crinkled and she nudged Fireball, shooting him a tiny, amused smirk. He held up his fist, and she bumped hers against it as Rex looked on with a markedly unamused expression.

“It would be easier for just one person to infil HQ,” Echo said. “We could send a team with a ship to Raada to stand by, and our man on the inside will smuggle Nemec out of the base and rendezvous at predetermined coordinates.”

“I’ll go,” Fireball said immediately. “He’s my brother.”

Rex shook his head. “My intel says they’re scanning the identifying number of every clone trooper before they board the transports. Every one of us is either presumed dead or wanted by the Empire. We’d be executed on the spot. It will have to be a nat-born.”

“Agreed,” Cerra said. “Echo, do you think you could slice into the Imperial database and plant fake orders? Every base needs a supply officer.”

“You can’t be serious,” Gregor objected. “After what happened at 79’s?”

“Rex is right. It has to be a nat-born,” Cerra said.

“Then send Rafa!” Gregor said. “Or one of Chuchi’s guards.”

“Not a lot of Pantorans in the Imperial army,” Echo said.

“It needs to be someone familiar with military protocol,” Rex added. “Rafa would get arrested before she ever made it through HQ security.”

“It has to be me, Gregor,” Cerra said quietly.

“I don’t like it,” Gregor growled.

“You don’t have to like it,” Rex said. “It’s not your call to make.”

“It’s not yours, either,” Gregor retorted.

“It’s my call, and I’m doing it,” Cerra said firmly.

As it turned out, they had more than a week to plan the mission, which felt unfathomably luxurious. While Rex waited for his contact to confirm the schedule, he, Echo, and Fireball went to investigate a lead on a possible ship for the Balmorra mission. In the meantime, Cerra had a secret weapon to coax Gregor out of his sullen mood: a grocery run, his absolute favorite kind of mission.

Coruscant was a planet of many wonders. Home to trillions of beings, it was a vibrant hub of culture, and where there was culture, there was food. In the galactic capital, one could find any kind of food imaginable, and Gregor had a vivid imagination. Cerra would have been happy enough with whatever bland ration bars she could find in CoCo Town, but Gregor had eaten enough industrial food to last him for a lifetime, and now that he had the freedom to eat whatever he wanted, he refused to settle for rations unless it was an actual emergency—and even then, it was subject to debate.

To find the sorts of ingredients he required, he and Cerra had to venture to the upper levels, to one of Coruscant’s vast, sprawling open-air markets. There, vendors from across the galaxy offered up a dazzling array of wares: everything from fresh produce, meat, and fish, to baked goods and confectionery, to hand-made soaps and candles, to antiques and artwork, to an entire market district dedicated exclusively to cut flowers.

During the war, Gregor had heard about the market but never been allowed inside. The first time he’d visited, he could hardly believe such a thing existed in the same galaxy as Abafar. The opulence and abundance of the market contrasted starkly with the impoverished, hardscrabble planet where he’d spent so many months with no memories or identity. He’d learned to cook from Borkus, and he once told Cerra that as far as he was concerned, that was the only good thing that had ever happened on that Maker-forsaken rock.

Now, as he wandered through the market with Cerra’s fingers laced between his own, he made no attempt to disguise his wonder and delight at the bustling, colorful surroundings. The heady scents of roasting peppers, fried food, pungent spices, and hot sugar permeated the air, making his stomach rumble.

“We should get a snack first,” he said.

“Yes, please!” Cerra agreed. “Otherwise, I’ll just buy everything in the market.”

They found a food stall that sold griddled ronto wrappers stuffed with traladon cheese and a variety of meat and vegetable fillings. The cheese was melty and stringy; and the flatbread was crispy and a little greasy; and on the whole, it was absolutely delicious. They ate as they walked, taking in all of the sights, smells, and sounds of the market. They passed a vendor piping rings of batter into a gigantic vat of hot oil, and Gregor made a note of the location.

“We’re getting some of those on our way home,” he said.

“To share with the boys?” Cerra asked

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” he replied with a wink.

She laughed, and he grinned at her, his earlier surliness forgotten as he draped his arm over her shoulders. They stopped at every stall that offered samples, tasting and testing.

“Candilin oranges!” a vendor called out. “Get them while they’re fresh! These won’t last longer than a day, folks, so don’t miss out!”

Gregor tugged Cerra toward the stall.

“We can’t afford those, Gregor,” she whispered.

“The samples are free,” he whispered back.

He snagged a small piece of the fruit off of the vendor’s sample tray and sniffed it curiously.

“Smell,” he told Cerra, holding it close to her face.

She leaned in and inhaled deeply, her eyes fluttering closed. It smelled fresh and bright and zesty, and it reminded her of the sun. “It smells delicious.”

He slid the fruit into her mouth, and she took a bite. Sweet, tangy juice exploded across her tongue, and she made a tiny sound of pleasure as an expression of utter bliss settled on her face. Gregor beamed at her as he popped the rest of the fruit into his own mouth. The vendor, a Nithorn, regarded them with shrewd little eyes.

“Ah, young love,” she squawked. “I’ll give you a special discount for being such an adorable couple.”

Cerra’s eyes snapped open, and she pulled slightly away from Gregor. “Oh, we’re n—”

“Not made of credits,” Gregor cut in hastily. “You know how it is when you’re just starting out.”

Cerra flicked an uncertain glance at him, but she didn’t resist when he pulled her a little closer and wrapped his arm around her waist. The Nithorn nodded sagely.

“Of course, of course,” she said. “But nothing is too good for your girl, am I right? Come on, I’ll cut you a deal.”

“How much?” Cerra asked.

“Fifty credits apiece,” the vendor replied.

Cerra choked. “I’m not saying it’s not worth it, but we don’t have that kind of money.”

“Twenty,” Gregor countered.

The vendor guffawed. “Sorry, kids, but I’m running a business, not a charity. Forty credits.”

“Come on, Gregor,” Cerra urged. “We can find something else.”

“Twenty-two,” Gregor said.

“Are you trying to destroy my livelihood?” the vendor asked. “Thirty, and not a decicred less.”

“Twenty-five,” Gregor replied.

“You are breaking my heart,” said the Nithorn. “Fine, twenty-five. Be sure to eat it today, or it will rot.”

As they walked away with their prize, Cerra said in a low voice, “We don’t have that kind of budget, Gregor. What were you thinking?”

“I’ll make it up somewhere else,” he shrugged. “It was worth it.”

They wandered through the produce stands, selecting an assortment of fruits and vegetables as they caught Gregor’s eye. He spotted a table heaped with round, russet-colored fruits.

“What are these?” he asked the vendor.

“Kavasa,” Cerra replied, recognizing the fruit immediately.

“That’s right,” the Twi’lek vendor said. “Fresh kavasa, straight from Corellia. Just got a huge shipment this morning. I’m selling it for half price, if you’re interested.”

“We’ll take a kilo,” Gregor said.

“Are you sure?” Cerra asked. “Don’t you want to taste it first?”

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Yes, it was my favorite when I was little,” Cerra admitted.

“Then we’ll take a kilo,” he repeated.

Gregor found a vendor who sold freeze-dried fruits and vegetables, and he insisted on buying several cartons for their off-world missions. “If we have to eat rations, at least we can buy some that resemble real food.”

Their last stop was the meat market. He’d been wanting to try his hand at cooking brualki brisket since he’d first tasted it at Dex’s Diner.

“We’re all out of brualki,” the butcher said. He was a burly Devaronian with two broken horns, and his arms bulged with muscles developed over years of breaking down enormous primal cuts. “But I’m sure we can find something that will suit you. Ever tried joopa?”

Gregor was intrigued. “Never heard of it. What’s it like?”

The butcher launched into a detailed sales pitch about the merits of joopa rib roasts, and Gregor asked a number of pointed questions about preparation techniques and flavor profiles as Cerra let her attention wander.

“Our joopa is wild-caught, from a place called Seelos,” the butcher said. “Never been there, myself.”

Cerra didn’t understand a word of the conversation, but one thing she did understand was sticking to a Force-damned budget. “How much per kilo?”

“Ten credits,” the butcher replied. “It’s about half the price of brualki right now, so you’ll save a decent chunk of creds.”

“I’ll take a five-kilo roast,” Gregor said.

The bags of groceries were heavy as they headed to the freighter, but Gregor wrangled them with ease. They were nothing compared to the weight of the armor that he normally wore. The market had become even more crowded as the day advanced, and beings of every imaginable species jostled around them. They retraced their route back to the ship, and as they passed through the fishmongers’ market district, disaster struck.

A large, boisterous family of Gabdorins blocked most of the path as the parents haggled with a merchant. Gregor and Cerra squeezed by them single-file. Suddenly, two of the youngest children broke free of the larger group and began chasing each other. Gregor tried to back up, but it was too late. The children ran straight into him, taking him out at the knees. As he fell, he collided with Cerra and knocked her down beneath him. They landed with a splash in a reeking puddle of water and rotting fish.

“Sorry, mister!” the children shrieked as they ran off to continue their game.

Cerra gagged at the stench, and Gregor quickly scrambled to his feet. By some miracle, he’d managed to keep the grocery bags out of the splash zone, but his clothes were saturated with the putrid liquid, and Cerra’s were even worse.

“What the kriff?” Cerra sputtered.

“Watch your language, lady,” one of the adult Gabdorins snapped.

“Are you serious?” Cerra demanded, incensed.

“Hey, easy,” Gregor intervened. “It was just an accident. Let’s get home so we can get out of these clothes.”

Cerra grumbled mutinously, but nevertheless she followed Gregor as they hurried back to the freighter. Fortunately—if anything about the situation could be considered fortunate—the miasma of rotting fish guts cleared a path through the crowded market, and they made it to the ship in record time.

“In, in, in, in, in,” Cerra chanted, her words blending into each other in her urgency. “Put the groceries in the conservator. I’ll get the ship powered up.”

Gregor hadn’t even finished stowing the perishables by the time they were airborne. Cerra breathed through her mouth, but she couldn’t escape the fetid stench. The flight back to the garage felt like the longest of her life, and from Gregor’s occasional retching sounds, he was suffering just as much as she was. She piloted them down the underworld portal, and as soon as the ship touched down on the landing platform, they stripped out of their garments and ran for the refreshers.

Luckily, nobody else had returned to the garage yet. Cerra got there first and tugged her bra and briefs off before making a beeline for the farthest shower stall. Gregor was right behind her, pulling off his boxers and leaving them in a pile with Cerra’s things, then claiming the second shower stall.

“Uuuuuuuugh, that is the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me,” Cerra grunted. “Thank the stars I don’t have any hair; otherwise I’d have to shave my head all over again.”

“I’m not so lucky,” he said. “I hope I can get the smell out.”

The refresher began to fill with steam from both showers running at once. Cerra soaped her entire body from head to toe, and still the stench lingered. On the other side of the narrow tile barrier, she could hear vigorous splashing that indicated Gregor was scrubbing himself thoroughly. Cerra let out a low groan of pleasure as she stood under the hot spray.

“At least it happened at the end of the trip instead of the beginning,” Cerra said.

“Mm-hmm,” Gregor said noncommittally.

“We might have to burn our clothes,” she observed. “I don’t know if the smell will ever go away no matter how many times we clean them.”

“Yeah.” Gregor’s voice was strained.

She shut her shower off and stepped out. Gregor was facing the wall of his shower stall, his back to her as he stood under the water.

“Ah, kriff, I forgot a towel,” she said. “Do you need one?”

“No!” he said, keeping his back turned to her. “I mean, I’m not quite finished. I think I need to wash my hair again.”

“Okay,” she said, crossing to the bank of lockers where they kept a supply of towels and toiletries. “I’ll leave a clean one for you on the sink.”

“Thanks, Cerra,” he said. “You should go get something to eat. It’s been hours since we had those ronto wraps.”

His tone was brusque, and she hoped he wasn’t still angry about the Raada mission.

“Good idea,” she said. “I need to send the cleaning droid into the freighter anyway.”

She went to the barracks and dressed quickly, then powered up the cleaning droid and programmed it to decontaminate the ship. She lugged the groceries into the kitchenette and began to stow them away just as Gregor exited the refresher and headed for the barracks, wrapped in nothing but a towel. Droplets of water beaded across his broad shoulders and chest, and her gaze slid down his body, just for an instant, before she jerked her eyes away, focusing on finding space to fit the joopa roast in the conservator.

Nothing I haven’t seen before, she thought. Though if she were honest, Gregor was built differently from the other clones, even from the ARC troopers. He was thicker and denser, and she tried not to think about the way those shining droplets had slid down the planes of his—What the hell? This is Gregor! You know, your best friend and the one person you can count on in the galaxy? Stop thinking about his muscles, damn it!

She shoved the roast into the conservator and slammed the door, leaning against it to make sure it sealed. She swallowed. What was wrong with her? First sex dreams, and now this? She must be losing whatever tattered shreds of sanity she still possessed.

This is all Echo’s fault, she thought irritably. I never even thought about Gregor that way until he put the idea in my head.

She sighed and dug through the bags of groceries until she unearthed the candilin orange and a kavasa fruit. She sliced them with unnecessary violence and arranged them on a plate as Gregor rejoined her.

He was dressed—thank the Maker for small mercies—and he looked far more relaxed than he had in a long while. Now that she thought about it, he had been tense ever since the night they’d gone to 79’s. A wave of guilt washed through her at the realization that she’d caused him that much distress.

“Want to catch up on the Bake Off?” he asked.

“I think we’ve earned it,” she replied. “Don’t tell Fireball we watched it without him, though.”

Gregor flopped down on the sofa and turned on the holotable, and Cerra curled up next to him. As the show’s opening jingle played, she passed him the plate of fruit. He tasted a slice of kavasa experimentally.

“That’s delicious!” he exclaimed. “No wonder it was your favorite.”

She swiped a slice and popped it into her mouth, enjoying the familiar burst of juicy sweetness across her tongue. It tasted like childhood. It tasted like home. She closed her eyes to blink away the tears that pricked behind her eyelids, and when she opened them, Gregor was watching her with a small, satisfied smile. He reached over and tugged her legs onto his lap and balanced the plate on top of her knees as he turned to watch the show.

The show hosts were droning on and on in some ridiculous opening skit about being turned into tookas. Cerra’s attention wandered, and her eyelids grew heavy. Gregor shifted her legs and stood to take the empty plate to the kitchenette, but before he could leave, she snagged his hand and tugged him back down onto the sofa with a sleepy grumble that sounded suspiciously like “No. My Gregor.”

He laughed quietly and set the plate on the floor, then lay down next to her. It was a tight fit, and she wiggled up against the back of the couch to make room for him. He wrapped his arms around her and began to rub small circles on her back, and within minutes, the pair were asleep.

The room was dark as Cerra floated toward consciousness. She felt wonderfully warm and safe, held securely in a strong embrace, and she closed her eyes again, drifting on the border between slumber and lucidity. Soft, even breaths fanned across the skin of her chest, where a head rested heavily against her. Their legs tangled together, one strong thigh trapped between her own, and she realized two things at once: first, that thigh was pressed against her achingly aroused sex; and second, he was hard as a kriffing rock against her hip.

“Fives,” she breathed.

She tightened her arms around his shoulders, determined to savor every second of their time together, knowing that they would have to wake up and return to their duties all too soon. She flattened her palm against the hard muscles of his upper back, stroking him languidly. Where were they this time? Florrum? Cato Nemoidia? Did it even matter? She pressed her lips against his forehead, inhaling deeply. Something was different about his scent. New soap? She liked it. It smelled comforting, somehow—familiar.

“Where are we?” she whispered, but his only answer was a soft snore.

She shifted, inadvertently dragging herself along his thigh and moaning quietly at the friction. Fives, responsive even in his sleep, rumbled deep in his chest and rolled his hips, grinding his cock against her. Gods, it had been too long. She’d forgotten how damned big he was. How long had it been this time? Weeks? Months? She couldn’t even remember. The campaigns blurred together, punctuated by those brief, rare occasions when they both had shore leave at the same time. Where are we?

Kriff, she was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of being away from him. She missed him so much that it poisoned their time together: even now, with him lying safe in her arms, the knowledge that he would be gone again soon weighed heavily on her chest. How long do we have this time?

Where are we?

Her breathing settled into a regular rhythm, and she drifted back into oblivion. She was deep asleep when the man in her embrace shifted with a quiet, drowsy grumble and then went abruptly rigid. In the darkened garage, illuminated only by the Are you still watching? message on the holoprojector, he carefully disentangled himself from her and pulled away.

Hours later, Cerra awoke, disoriented and utterly alone.

Next chapter

#captain rex #echo bad batch #captain gregor #clone trooper fireball #riyo chuchi #oc: cerra kilian #echo x riyo chuchi #gregor x oc #bad batch #star wars #bad batch fanfic #star wars fanfiction #dystopicjumpsuit writes #stars beyond number #Spotify

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steamyearlgray · 4 months

Text

Thought I’d jump onto this train for once… What an odd combo… either way I love it. Honestly, Star Trek TNG has always been a comfort show for me. I used to watch it every day after school and on weekends whenever it was on WGN.

Real honest moment here below the cut. Feel free to skip if not. [TDLR: Thank you to their creators. They mean so much to me.]

Star Trek TNG has always been there for me. As a kid growing up I would turn it on every day after school and on weekends in the afternoons when it would come on BBC America or WGN. I stopped needing it constantly on after my parents got divorced. Don’t get me wrong I’d still turn on an episode or two every so often but it wasn’t every day like it had been.

My senior year of college I found myself needing it again. First I turned it on for one of my classes. (I wrote so many papers on Data and the federation that semester.)

Then… I just didn’t turn it off until I moved out and discovered (You guessed it correctly) Ghost.

I would turn on daily marathons of TNG whenever I was in my apartment needing to escape the passive aggressive silence that filled it. I felt like Data again. Not understanding the humans around me and the emotional ‘cues’ that were being given to me. Any time I could have TNG on, I did. I felt that no matter how I approached the situation with my roommates I wouldn’t catch any hidden meanings in their tones. Only they wouldn’t take the time to explain or share exactly why they were upset. I remember having the apartment to myself at the beginning of the spring semester, just laying on the floor with it playing in the background and sobbing. (Between the living situation and losing my Grandma it was an odd combo of things)

Ghost came into my life around then. I didn’t fully look into it until later that summer after graduation. I found comfort in the bumbling anxious Cardinal. He seemed just as unsure about social interactions as I was. (It also helped that the music fucking slapped.)

I started obsessively listening to everything I could. My partner was so supportive, happy to see me have some sort of outlet while I worked my lonely accounting job. I loved the concept of them and when I managed to snag tickets to a ritual this past August I cried.

That ritual opened a fucking floodgate my guys, let me fucking tell you. I joked with my partner about starting to write Ghost fics, bringing up the line between regular fic and RPF, and when he traveled for a month I guess I had a bit too much time….

That month I wrote over 81,000 words. That month I posted around 3,000 words every other day. I created a massive fic that seemed to run and drag me along by the wrist.

I’m so grateful for everything Ghost has given me. New friends, a newfound passion for writing, and the spark I needed to start drawing again.

I guess what all of this was leading to was this: I’m so grateful to my boys for supporting me through these past few years. I’m grateful that when Tobias turned to his wife and pitched the idea of being a satanic pope on stage full time she said yes. I’m grateful that ST:TNG was available on Netflix and on cable for my entire childhood. I’m grateful that my mom introduced me to Star Trek and Star Wars early on.

I uh….yeah. Thank you to my boys. Thank you to the fandoms.

Imma just set this one down and walk away for a bit…. It’s time for bed.

#ghost bc fanart #the band ghost #ghost band fanart #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #data fanart #lt. commander data #i think we're gonna have to kill this guy #new comfort character unlocked #new comfort character vs old comfort character #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus iv fanart #lt commander data fanart #done in photoshop #start trek tng #star trek next gen

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jenjensd · 2 months

Text

Some Neurotypicals are just awful people.

Really disrespectful and incredibly ignorant, ableist people.

My parents had bought tickets to Shrek the Musical. We were enjoying the first half and I’d taken a few pictures, but at the intermission, someone came over and told me to stop filming. I said I was only taking pictures but was told nothing was allowed. This wasn’t advertised anywhere or mentioned at any point, and I felt really bad about being told off, but I obviously put my phone down.

Then the show started up again. Unfortunately, being autistic, I really struggled when I didn’t have my phone in my hand. I tried searching by feel in my bag, and eventually found my stim toy. It has clicking and silent bits. I was starting to click a few times and that was when the trouble started.

“What’s that clicking noise” came can angry voice from next to my partner. A chav with a strong weed smell and an angry voice. I tried to show her my stim toy, and was about to apologise. Then she said “You should stop it!” Not a “please can you be a little more quiet?” Not a “would you mind being a little quieter”. Just “You should stop it!”

My mum told the woman “She’s autistic” and she stood her ground. “You should warn people!” My partner told her that I don’t owe anybody my diagnosis. I don’t have to tell people around me all the time that I’m autistic. She just said “Shut the fuck up.” And he didn’t want to disturb anyone else.

By this point I was crying heavily, but silently. I tried to stop myself as much as I could. My mum checked in, asked if I needed a minute, but since we were in the middle of a row and it would have disrupted a lot of people, I said I was fine. What I didn’t see was my mum was apparently glaring at this woman for several minutes.

The woman then loudly states “What the fuck are you staring at?” And tries to instigate a fight. She says that she will disrupt everyone around us and “ruin it for everyone”, and cause a scene, followed by “I paid for my ticket just like everyone else!” And because that is the thing I am terrified of happening, I try to get my mum to back down.

I’m sat there, blubbering quietly, trying to use hand gestures to get my mum to back down. I just want it all to stop. Eventually the woman calms down and goes back to clapping and laughing like everyone else. I wipe away tears through the rest of the show.

When the show finishes, she quickly gets on her coat and tries to move out as fast as she can. I don’t know if she thought my mum wild deck her, but I know my mum absolutely wanted to.

If she’d stuck around after, I would’ve told her how awful she was and that she shouldn’t speak to autistic people that way. But she ran like a coward. I hope she never has an autistic family member, because I am sure she would be even worse to them.

Some NTs are just terrible, selfish people who think they’re more important than anyone else.

#it didn’t help that I’m physically disabled #and couldn’t easily manoeuvre into the seats #even getting out at the end needed stairs #neurodivergent #autism #actually autistic #neurotypicals #disabled #allistics #some people just suck #ableism #ableist bullshit #disability

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jjwantsme · 1 year

Text

vanilla cherry bomb

s.h

pairing: steve harrington x girlfriend!reader

summary: in which he gets addicted to her taste

warnings: kissing obv, nsfw references, this is set during summer of ‘85 but before they found out about the russians, SCOOPS AHOY STEEB WHO CHEERED, way too much fluff,, lmk if i missed anything:)<3

authors note: i adore this sm. Let me know if you want a part two of when stuff starts going down. I love steves uniform :,)

masterlist

“Ahoy, my lady! Would you like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me? I’ll be your captain, my name is robin. What can i get you?” Robin exclaimed, grinning at the familiar-faced girl in front of her.

“I know who you are, robin,” Y/n giggled. She had grown fond of Robin from the few weeks of her working with steve. “Is steve here yet?”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s around back,” Robin clarified, nodding her heads towards the door that led back there. “Thanks!” Y/n chirped and started heading that way, not wanting to distract robin from her real customers.

“You back here, lover boy?” Y/n called out as she closed the door behind her, though it wasn’t long before she could feel steve kissing all around her face.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said you were going out with Camila,” Steve furrowed his eyebrows but kept the smile on his face, cupping hers with both of his hands.

“Called me, said she was sick,” y/n let out a giggle when she felt steve drop more than a few kisses onto her forehead, “so i thought i’d come visit my steve.”

"𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 steve, huh?”

“Yup! My steve.” Y/n grinned, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the little wooden table he was previously sitting at.

“I’m glad you came, actually, because i have a little surprise for you,” steve smirked, pulling out her chair before sitting down.

“A surprise, hm?” Y/n giggled, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

Steve grinned and pulled out two pieces of paper that y/n couldn’t quite read. She looked closer and saw…oh my god, no way!

“Stevie!” She gasped, sitting up to grab the tickets and examine them, “You got tickets to ‘Tears For Fears’?!”

“They’re your favorite artist, i had to get them for you,” he chuckled.

“Oh my god, stevie, thank you!” Y/n squeled, giving him a tight hug before pulling away to plant a kiss on his lips.

Y/n and steve had only been dating for 2 months, and it was pure bliss. Steve knew that they were still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care when she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

When they met, he never imagined them getting this far. She was definitely out of his league, in his opinion. She didn’t come from much, growing up poor in East Hawkins, but she was still the most positive person he had ever met. She knew how to light up a room without even trying.

A part of steve didn’t want to date her because of how chaotic his life was. Even apart from alternate dimensions and creepy monsters, he had two snobby parents to worry about, and he didn’t know if he would be able to protect her purity from all of it.

If it wasn’t for Eleven closing the gate last year, he definitely wouldn’t have risked it. (Boy, is he in for a treat!)

But, the last two months have been even better than he imagined, and he didn’t regret the tiniest bit of it.

Steve pulled away from the kiss with wide eyes, “holy, shit,”

He went back in for another one, making y/n laugh but furrow her eyebrows and pull away, “what is it?”

“Your lips,” he paused to peck them, “taste so good.”

Y/n laughed and shook her head, “Ah, my lips, huh?”

Steve nodded and leaned in to kiss her again, putting his hand around her neck softly as his lips synced with hers.

Physical affection had always been a big thing in their relationship, but kissing especially.

Y/n swore steve kissed more than he talked.

She loved it, though, it reminds her that he truly does find her beautiful, and unlike most people, he still invested in her personality as well.

On their one month anniversary, he took her virginity and let her read her favorite book to him moments after, whispering sweet-nothings in her ear.

Saying how much he adores her, how perfect she is, and how much he loves listening to her read romance.

What a guy, am i right?

“Steve, stevie,” y/n breathed, pulling away as steve kept hissing down her cheek onto her neck, “you know you’ve got to get back to work, can’t leave robin like that,”

“Just one more minute,” he mumbled against her neck.

“Stevie.” Y/n spoke sternly, although it was still adorable in steve’s eyes.

He groaned and pulled away from her neck, pouting a little. Although his pout turned into a smile when she ran her fingers through his hair.

“I gotta go, anyways, I promised my mom that I’d watch my sister today.”

Ah, angela. Steve’s self-proclaimed best friend.

“Tell them i said hi, yeah?” He proposed, smiling and kissing her head when she nodded.

“Alright,” she pecked his lips, “bye, baby.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” steve stopped her from walking away by swooping an arm around her waist.

“Yeah?”

“What chapstick flavor are you wearing?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Vanilla cherry bomb.” She tilted her head, “Why do you ask?”

“So that i can stock up on em.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington fanfic #steve fanfic #steve harrington angst #steve fluff #steve x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve stranger things #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x y/n smut #steve x y/n #steve x you #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction

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sandcobangevent · 13 hours

Text

Art by @tsukihasnolife Story by @scoobydoo-ghoulschool Read it on AO3!

INT. WATSON’S ROOM

JOHN Hello, Hello, Hello! It’s Doc Watson here to uh- or just John, John is fine too. Um, but I am here to share another spine chilling case with you lovely listeners. This was a dark one folks, so be cautious. Warnings for death, a couple of those, uh parental abuse, some light usage of the S word, and one inflammatory F bomb by yours truly. If none of that is enough to scare you off, well then, good luck and enjoy the adventure of the Speckled Band.

AUDIO CUT

INT. WATSON’S ROOM

Door opens with a bang.

SHERLOCK Your presence is required in the living room.

John gasps awake. Sherlock removes John’s bed covers.

JOHN Huh? What?

SHERLOCK We have a client. In the living room. Ms. Hudson informed me at 6:45, I let you sleep an extra half hour but you really must be up now.

John yawns.

JOHN It’s 7:15? And you’re awake?

SHERLOCK (darkly) Like I said, Ms. Hudson woke me.

JOHN Alright, alright, uh- let me just get some trousers on.

Sherlock moves to leave.

JOHN (CONT.) Hold on, is that my microphone?

SHERLOCK I assumed you’d want it.

JOHN (pleasantly surprised) Well, uh, yes, thank you.

SHERLOCK You’re welcome. Now come along, Ms. Hudson is bringing up tea.

Intro music plays

INT. 221B BAKER STREET - LIVING ROOM

John enters the living room, trousers successfully retrieved.

JOHN Hello there. John Watson, nice to meet you.

HELEN (quietly) Helen Stoner.

John takes a seat.

JOHN So you're a fan of the podcast?

HELEN Sorry, what?

JOHN Oh I just- the Sherlock & Co podcast. It’s my, well, part of our business. I assumed that’s how you found us.

HELEN No, uh I found you on Reddit actually. r/Holmes. I read about a case with these missing opals, from the account FarintoshRed. I thought Mr. Holmes might be able to help me too.

SHERLOCK I vaguely remember the name Farintosh, the opal tiara even more. Now Ms. Stoner what is it that brings you all the way from Surrey this early in the morning?

HELEN I- Did someone tell you I was coming?

SHERLOCK The return ticket is sticking out of your purse.

HELEN (nervously) Oh, right.

Mariana enters the room.

MARIANA I have several cups of very caffeinated tea and a couple of day-old scones. They're only half rock hard.

JOHN Ah, Mariana, you're an angel.

SHERLOCK Yes, thank you. Although I’d prefer something a little stronger than caffeine…

JOHN Not this early in the morning, please. I’d at least like to keep the substance abuse to an afternoon activity.

MARIANA (to Helen) You can just ignore them.

HELEN Um, thanks.

SHERLOCK So early train, and by the mud on your coat, a taxi before with an unexpected rain shower. A little dangerous to be out by yourself before the sun's up. I assume you took this trip without permission?

MARIANA (whispered to Sherlock) Sherlock, that's a little patronizing.

SHERLOCK It would be if our client wasn’t a teenager.

JOHN (also whispered to Sherlock) Mate she’s got grey hair.

HELEN No he’s right, I’m 17.

JOHN Oh! I’m- God, sorry I just didn’t. Blimey.

HELEN I get that sort of reaction a lot. The hair’s genetic or something. My sister had it too. But that’s sort of why I’ve come. Not because of my hair but um… My 18th birthday’s in a couple weeks and… I think maybe I might be dead before then.

MARIANA (tentatively) And… why do you think that?

HELEN Because it happened to my sister, 2 years ago.

Pause.

HELEN (CONT.) I live with my step father, Greg Roylott, uh in this old family estate of his, Stoke Moran. My mum married him when my sister and I were both two. And you know, everything was fine, we were a totally normal family, but when my mum died, when we were about eight, uh, well Greg got really depressed. We were all torn up about it, but he… he could get really, really angry. The last couple of years my sister and I had to get him out of a lot of bad situations. Julia- my sister, she had a really hard time with it. Kids at school could get pretty nasty about it all, and I mean everyone in our village talks. It was a lot, still is a lot. But she decided, two years ago, that she'd had enough. She snuck off one night to stay with one of my mum's old friends, Honoria Westphail, for a couple of weeks.

SHERLOCK And you stayed?

HELEN Greg is- he's the only father I've ever known. I thought you know- everyone deals with grief differently, if I just gave him enough time... He never touched me or Julia.

SHERLOCK But Julia ran away.

HELEN Yeah, and not just. Ms. Westphail was helping her file for emancipation. We were both 15, and she didn't even have a bank account yet, but she wanted to get as far away from Greg as possible. She needed the money from our mother's inheritance.

SHERLOCK Which neither of you receive until your 18th birthday.

JOHN Or you're legally declared independent.

HELEN Right. But then Greg, he, well he reached out to Julia, said he wanted to make amends, that he'd been talking with people, trying to get better. I thought he was telling the truth, I mean at that point it had been weeks since he'd gotten into a fight in town, or come home drunk from the pub.

Helen pauses.

HELEN (CONT.) (voice choked) I convinced Julia to come back when he asked her over for dinner.

MARIANA If you want to take a moment-

Helen sniffs.

HELEN No it's- I can keep going. Dinner went fine, I mean Julia and Greg were never the closest, but you could tell he was trying. He didn't even bring up the whole emancipation dealings. We all went to bed around the same time, but Julia had come into my room complaining of a headache pretty soon after that. Greg likes smoking these Indian cigars before bed, and Julia and his rooms have connected ventilation, and she, uh, was always sensitive to smells like that. I didn’t mind the company, there was this awful storm going on outside, and in a house as old as ours, it gets kind of spooky.

JOHN Old manor house on a dark and stormy night? I bet.

HELEN Exactly. And um, Julie only stayed for a bit but- she asked me if I'd heard any whistling at night while she’d been gone. Like a tea kettle going off, I remember her describing it. It was such a weird question, and I know I hadn't heard anything like it before, but like I said the house is really old, and we don't have the money for many repairs. I just told her it had to be some drafty part of the house. I don’t think she actually ever believed me… and then uh, that's when she went back to her room. I watched her lock her door.

SHERLOCK Did you both routinely lock your doors at night?

HELEN Yeah, force of habit I guess. When we were younger we were always scared the Cheetah or Baboon would escape in the middle of the night.

Weighted Pause.

JOHN Er- Cheetah and Baboon?

HELEN Sorry, yeah, Greg's dad, back in the 80's was mad obsessed with India I guess? He lived there for a while, and he decided to like- make an attraction of the old Manor. There used to be a pretty massive menagerie of Indian wildlife attached to the house. Honestly it's why Greg had no money coming into the marriage with my mum. His dad spent it all. These days all that's left are the Cheetah and Baboon. Just one more reason for people to talk, you know?

MARIANA I can imagine...

SHERLOCK So the door was locked.

Helen takes a deep breath.

HELEN I woke up to her screaming. It was- I've never heard anything like that scream. Then there it was, a whistle, like a tea kettle, and uh then this large metal clang, and it shocked me enough I was able to get myself out of bed.

SHERLOCK The locked door-?

HELEN She was able to open it herself. That’s how I found her, the door opened before I got to it. She was- her eyes were bulging, and I could- I could see the veins in her forehead. The storm had knocked out the power by then but she was holding her phone flashlight. I- I caught her there, in the hallway. She fell into my arms and I could tell she couldn’t breath, she couldn’t- but she managed to tell me “Helen! It was the band! The speckled band!” That’s how Greg found us, I don’t remember much after. I think he tried to do CPR, and I called 999… She was dead before they got there.

MARIANA (very sincerely) I am so sorry.

Helen continues as if she hasn’t heard.

HELEN I was… shell shocked. Everyone was pointing fingers at our step-dad, and even then I couldn’t, I couldn’t really believe. The windows of her room are barred, the fireplace was bricked up, the door was locked. There’s nothing he could have done to her.

JOHN The coroner couldn’t find anything? No foul play, no poison in her system?

HELEN I know they did a thorough search, like I said everyone was sure Greg had something to do with it. There wasn’t anything. Eventually they marked it down as a “cerebral embolism”.

Helen gives a very sharp laugh

HELEN (CONT.) She was 15!

Heavy pause. Helen collects herself.

SHERLOCK This all happened two years ago, you’ve had time to doubt him, to look for help elsewhere- but something changed recently. Ms. Stoner, what happened?

HELEN Last week, Greg said that- there was some work around my room that needed to be done. Structural stuff that needed to be fixed. He moved me into Julia’s bedroom and- (Helen takes a shuddering breath) I heard the whistle. Last night, Mr. Holmes, I heard the whistle again.

AUDIO CUT

Interlude music plays briefly.

INT. 221A BAKER STREET - MARIANA’S OFFICE

MARIANA I’ll make sure she gets to the train station alright. I have a bad feeling about leaving her alone.

JOHN Thank you, Mariana… God I can’t- doesn’t this feel a little wrong? That we’re her last line of defense I mean?

MARIANA I suppose, it is frustrating that it’s taken all this for something to be done. But there’s no one I trust more than Sherlock to help her. She only has us, but at least it’s us.

JOHN Right. No you’re right.

Pause.

MARIANA I’ll see you in a bit.

JOHN Be safe.

The front door to 221 Baker Street opens. The sounds of the street filter in. The door closes and it is quiet once more.

JOHN (to the listeners) So, we’ve taken the case. Obviously. There’s still a part of me that can’t quite believe it, but well- it was hard to say anything but yes.

John enters the flat.

INT. 221B BAKER STREET - LIVING ROOM

JOHN I’ve got us train tickets leaving in an hour. You better start packing.

SHERLOCK I’ve already finished. I’ve got noise canceling headphones, my pistol and my toothbrush.

JOHN (john laughs) Ah, planning on shooting your mouth off then?

SHERLOCK (baffled) What? No, of course not.

JOHN No its- it’s a joke from M*A*S*H. Ya know- Frank took his gun and his toothbrush, there he goes shooting his mouth off again… I’m realizing, suddenly, this was one of my more obscure references so I am… going to stop.

SHERLOCK Good.

Pause. John takes a deep breath in.

JOHN You don't think we're being pranked do you? I mean, that was all- a little mad. I mean the Cheetah and Baboon detail? It sounds like something that would go viral on TikTok.

SHERLOCK You’re only saying that because she’s 17. It was the truth, every detail of it, there's no doubt in my mind. Besides, the Indian menagerie in Surrey is about the easiest detail to corroborate, here look.

Sherlock hands over his phone.

JOHN “They Bought a Zoo Before it was Cool: the sordid tale of Surrey’s oldest family and their lost fortune” Jeeze, okay. So not a TikTok prank then.

John sighs.

JOHN (CONT.) Maybe I just don't want to imagine someone willing to kill a 15 year old girl. I mean… why?

SHERLOCK Why else Watson? Money. In both instances, Julia’s emancipation, and Helen’s 18th birthday, he loses the money from their mother’s inheritance.

Pause.

JOHN You don't think Helen was lying about Roylott not... not hitting them do you?

SHERLOCK (carefully) No, she was telling the truth there too, I assume that would leave too much evidence for the courts. There are other ways to keep someone under control...

JOHN Well Roylott better hope we don't meet up with him anytime soon, I swear I see his face and it's one, two lights out.

SHERLOCK You may be getting that wish sooner than later.

JOHN What do you mean?

SHERLOCK Greg Roylott is on our front stoop-

The downstairs door slams open. Muffled yelling. Heavy footsteps.

JOHN Oh God, I forgot to lock it when Mariana left.

SHERLOCK (harshly) Get back from the door. The heavy footsteps approach faster.

JOHN Well this one is locked- The door to 221B is thrown open with a crash.

JOHN Shit!

DR. ROYLOTT Where is she? Where the Hell is my daughter?!

JOHN Sir you can't just barge in here-!

DR. ROYLOTT Which one of you is Holmes?

SHERLOCK That would be me, but I'm afraid you have the advantage, I don't know you.

DR. ROYLOTT Dr. Gregory Roylott, as if you don't know you slippery bastard.

SHERLOCK Of course Doctor, please have a seat. We were just finishing our morning tea.

DR. ROYLOTT I'm not here for tea, my step-daughter's been here. I tracked her phone so don't try and lie Holmes. She was here not 4 minutes ago.

JOHN Now hold on-

SHERLOCK You know, it is a little cold for this time of the year.

JOHN (under his breath) What?

DR. ROYLOTT What's she said to you?!

SHERLOCK But I have heard we'll be getting an early spring, the crocuses are close to blooming. I have a feeling it's going to be quite lovely.

DR. ROYLOTT Oh come off it, I know what you’re doing! I looked you up online, you're a couple of con artists looking to make a buck off my girl, huh? Put her on your bloody podcast right? She's 17, what are two men of your age doing letting her into your flat? I could have the police-

Sherlock laughs. It goes on longer than it should.

SHERLOCK Your conversational skills are entertaining, when you leave, mind closing the door. Like I said, it is cold for this time of the year.

Pause. Dr. Roylott chuckles darkly.

DR. ROYLOTT Alright, have it your way. But hear this, stay away from my girl, I'm a man of means, I wouldn't take my threats lightly gentleman.

Dr. Roylott turns to leave.

JOHN (very sarcastically) Great meeting you Mr. Roylott.

DR. ROYLOTT It’s Dr. Roylott to you.

JOHN Yeah well, it’s Dr. Watson to you, you pratt.

Dr. Roylott leaves. The door is slammed with tremendous force.

John lets out a very relieved sigh.

Sherlock laughs again.

SHERLOCK Fine fellow, we’ll have to have him round again.

JOHN (not paying attention) I think he broke the door hinges!

SHERLOCK I suppose it’s best it didn’t come to anything physical, but I’m fairly certain I could have taken him. He lagged slightly to the right.

JOHN (still not paying attention) He definitely broke the door.

SHERLOCK Grab your stuff Watson, I think it’s time we were on our way as well.

JOHN You know I’ll have to call Mariana about this.

AUDIO CUT

INT. LONDON WATERLOO TRAIN STATION

The noises of a busy train station. The intermingling of engines, voices, and footsteps.

JOHN Yeah, I know- clear off the hinges. Forced the lock through the door frame- (pause) Alright. Thanks Mariana. Yep. Yeah. Talk soon, bye. (to Sherlock) The whole door’s gonna have to be replaced, can you believe that?

SHERLOCK Yes, I think you’ve mentioned it once or twice now.

JOHN Sorry, I’m just coming to the realization I live in a world where a man can literally break down my door in one go.

John sighs. A distant intercom plays.

JOHN (NARRATING) I suppose now is as good a time as any for some shout outs. I’m still new to Tumblr but the community on there has been nothing but supportive, so I’ve some awesome people I’d like to mention from there. So special hello to @tsukihasnolife who I’ve already commissioned to do some incredible art for this episode. We’ve also got @eardefenders, @starfruitsomething and @littleoceanbabe who I hear are all working hard on a flash bang for other fans of Sherlock & Co. Not sure what a flash bang is, but I appreciate the publicity and support! And lets see maybe some people from Twitter or er X now-

SHERLOCK Watson the train.

JOHN Oh God, yeah. Uh, bye! Thanks again.

AUDIO CUT

INT. UBER

The car drives alone on the road, engine humming softly.

JOHN We are back in Surrey listeners, you may remember the last time we were here was for the case of the Solitary Cyclist. (to Sherlock) You know maybe we should check in with Violet-

SHERLOCK I sincerely doubt Ms. Carruthers would enjoy seeing us Waston. We were at least slightly culpable in her brother's outburst.

JOHN (muttered) I wasn't the one with the gun. (John coughs) But Uh- yeah, yeah that's probably for the best.

DRIVER So where are you guys headed exactly?

SHERLOCK (in his just-one-of-the-mates voice) Stoke Moran, I've heard it's a real piece of work.

DRIVER Yeah, the place should be demolished if you ask me, it’s a death trap.

SHERLOCK Well that's why we're here, come to make a couple of estimates for the bloke who lives up there.

DRIVER Fair warning mate, lots of contractors have been through there. The Doctor, Roylott, he doesn't have the money to pay.

SHERLOCK Really? Big family estate like that with no money?

JOHN Sherlock, look-

SHERLOCK Sorry, would you mind stopping here?

DRIVER We're still a mile out-

JOHN We like the fresh air, thanks for the ride. Uh- five stars!

John and Sherlock exit the car. The car drives off.

EXT. THE GROUNDS OF STOKE MORAN

JOHN That is Helen over there isn't it?

SHERLOCK (in his normal voice) Yes. Probably best we catch her here, I don't want to get too close to the house until we're sure the good Doctor is nowhere near. (voice raised) Ms. Stoner!

Sherlock and John walk to catch up with Helen. Helen approaches, slightly out of breath.

HELEN Hi. I was hoping I’d catch your car on the way in.

SHERLOCK We had a visit with your step-father this morning, just after you left.

HELEN (taken off guard) What but I- he’s barely ever up by 11, and no one would have told him-

SHERLOCK You’re phone Ms. Stoner, I’m afraid he’s been tracking your phone. I would suggest checking your settings for the parental controls he installed without your knowledge.

HELEN If he knows that I- that I came to you-

SHERLOCK If he makes any motion to harm you Ms. Stoner we will personally escort you to Ms. Westphail’s house tonight. But I doubt with the way things are turning out he will try anything that obvious.

JOHN Like busting down a door.

HELEN What?!

Sherlock clears his throat pointedly.

SHERLOCK We’re getting ourselves a room at the village Inn, we have no intention of leaving you alone. Now Ms. Stoner is it possible we could enter the house undetected? I would very much like to see your sister and Dr. Roylott’s rooms.

HELEN Yeah, yeah I can manage that. He had work in London today, I thought- anyway he won’t be back till this evening.

SHERLOCK Lead the way Ms. Stoner

AUDIO CUT

EXT. STOKE MORAN

JOHN (out of breath) We are just now approaching the manor. It's uh- it really is something to see. Which since you can't see listeners, you'll have to take my word for it. Stoke Moran is uh grey, and big. Uh- I can do better than that, hold on. It's... lichen-blotched stone, with a high central portion and two curving wings, like the... claws of a crab. Sort of. Like if a crab had its pincers raised, you know? The left crab claw has broken windows blocked with wooden boards, and the roof is partly caved in, a uh picture of ruin. The middle bit- the body I guess? It’s in okay shape, it’s got some large observation windows near the ground floor. The right-claw looks to be the only section of the house that's still livable. Pretty modern, at least it's got blinds in the windows, and appears to be standing on its own.

HELEN What’s he doing?

SHERLOCK Narrating. He does it when he’s nervous.

JOHN I do it because a podcast is an auditory experience. Can’t exactly wave a camera around to show them- hold on, what’s this over here?

HELEN Oh I wouldn’t-

An animal screeches, a mammal howl, and it slams itself into its glass walled enclosure.

John screams.

The microphone falls. Helen and Sherlock break out into surprised laughter.

HELEN (through laughter) That's the menagerie. Sorry.

The Baboon calls out softly through the glass. There's rustling as John quickly retrieves the microphone.

Sherlock and Helen continue to laugh.

JOHN Seriously, how is this even legal?

AUDIO CUT

INT. STOKE MORAN MANOR - JULIA'S ROOM

A door creaks open slowly. Helen, Sherlock and John enter the room, footsteps echoing loudly.

HELEN So this is- this is Julia’s room. Mine’s just next door to the right, and then to the left is Greg’s room.

SHERLOCK And this is where you’re currently staying because of the restoration work?

HELEN Yes.

Sherlock walks around the room.

SHERLOCK These bed drapes- were they Julia’s?

HELEN Uh- no. No they weren’t really her taste. I think Greg had them put up when she was living with Ms. Westphail.

JOHN (darkly) He seems to have a habit of making living decisions for you.

Sherlock steps up onto the bed, bed springs squeal.

JOHN (CONT.) (pained) Sherlock, your shoes on the bed-

SHERLOCK (ignoring John) This ventilator, right above the bed, does it work?

HELEN Oh that, no, at least not since I’ve moved in. It’s completely freezing here at night.

SHERLOCK Interesting for such a recent refurbishment. Do you remember when this was installed?

HELEN Uh- it- it actually may have been around the same time as Greg hung the bed drapes. When Julia was gone.

Sherlock jumps down from the bed.

SHERLOCK I think I’ve seen enough here. Would you mind leading us to your step-father’s room?

HELEN Sure, like I said, It’s right next door.

Helen, Sherlock and John leave the room.

INT. STOKE MORAN MANOR - DR. ROYLOTT’S ROOM

The door to Roylott’s room opens. John gives a low whistle.

JOHN Well. This is- something.

HELEN Yeah, it’s a lot. Mostly stuff he inherited from his dad.

JOHN For our listeners, the Doctor has, well lots of… collectables lets say, I am presuming from India. Almost every wall and shelf is covered in Hindu icon paintings and sculptures.

SHERLOCK Murtis, not icons. They’re meant to be used in homes and temples for worship. Not... as collectables.

JOHN Yeah, so- it’s extremely distasteful. Not like I needed another reason to dislike this guy. Besides all of the uh- memorabilia in the Doctor’s room, there’s this massive safe- and uh, a bowl of milk is set on top. Helen, do you happen to have a cat around here?

HELEN (pause) No. I’m allergic.

JOHN Could be for the Cheetah, maybe?

SHERLOCK Perhaps… Helen, is it your step father that deals with the animals?

HELEN Er, not really. He feeds em, but he stays out of their enclosures. Honestly he doesn’t pay much attention to them these days. He’s got a vet who comes to see them every couple months or so- but she comes by with her own equipment.

Sherlock moves further into the room.

SHERLOCK Have you ever seen him use this?

HELEN No. What is that?

SHERLOCK It’s a catch pole. Normally these are used by professionals in animal control.

HELEN Right- well maybe the vet left it behind last time she was here?

Pause.

SHERLOCK Possibly… Well Ms. Stoner, I have seen what I’ve needed.

HELEN Well, do you know how it happened? How he did it?

SHERLOCK I can’t answer that quite yet. But we will be back tonight. Your old room, you can still comfortably sleep there at the moment?

HELEN (guardedly) I could…

SHERLOCK Good. Tonight, when your step-father falls asleep, shine a light through your bedroom window, and then leave to sleep there. Watson and I will be spending the night in your place. We will see for ourselves what plans he had for you.

AUDIO CUT

Musical interlude.

INT. SURREY INN - JOHN AND SHERLOCK’S ROOM

The room is quiet. John taps absentmindedly at the microphone. It is super annoying.

SHERLOCK You have a question?

JOHN No. Nope, just… thinking.

SHERLOCK (begrudgingly) I’m not certain what it is.

JOHN But you have a pretty good idea.

SHERLOCK I’ve been wrong before.

JOHN (skeptical) Rarely. If ever.

SHERLOCK You have theories I’m sure.

JOHN Not- not really. The new heating vent that doesn't work… that’s unusual, and purposeful. I thought maybe a nerve gas agent-

Sherlock makes a quiet noise of dissent.

JOHN But- I know that makes no sense, so I’ve got nothing. And then there's the whole issue of the speckled band... a clothing item, a poison...

SHERLOCK You’re picking up on the important details.

JOHN So are you going to share with the class what's actually going on?

SHERLOCK We’ll see tonight. Or we won’t.

JOHN (joking) I see how it is, plausible deniability. Can’t be wrong if you don’t say it out loud.

SHERLOCK John.

JOHN Yes?

SHERLOCK I think you should get some sleep before tonight.

JOHN Right, yeah. (pause) You’re not wrong though, whatever you're thinking, I know you’re not wrong.

Pause.

JOHN (CONT.) Goodnight.

Pause. John settles into bed.

SHERLOCK Thank you.

AUDIO CUT

Musical interlude

SHERLOCK Watson. Wake up, Ms. Stoner has given us the signal.

John shifts in bed. He yawns.

JOHN I really hope this isn’t a habit you're developing. Waking me up in the early hours of the morning I mean.

SHERLOCK Come along, Watson, no time to dawdle.

JOHN Dawdle. Funny word, dawdle. Dawdle. dawdle... and now it just sounds fake. (pause) Hang on… where did you get a cane?

AUDIO CUT

EXT. STOKE MORAN

JOHN (out of breath) We are back on the grounds of Stoke Moran, making our way up to the house. And- I am really wishing we could pick cases that didn’t require so much walking in the dark.

SHERLOCK We’re close to the door Helen said she’d leave open for us. Keep quiet, and keep your flashlight down.

JOHN Yep. Yep got it. Uh- aren’t we also close by to the-

Something thumps against the glass wall. Sherlock yelps.

The Baboon gives a howling laugh, tearing away from the window.

Sherlock takes in several gasping breaths. John snickers.

JOHN See? Not so funny when it’s you, the Baboon jumps.

SHERLOCK No. Comment.

John laughs quietly. He moves forward.

JOHN The doors over here by the way.

AUDIO CUT

INT. STOKE MORAN MANOR - JULIA’S ROOM

JOHN So we took a back entrance that Helen showed us early today. We have safely made it into Julia’s old room. So… now we just wait and listen for a whistle I guess.

SHERLOCK I’ll take the bed, under the vent. For your safety, the rocking chair in the corner is best.

JOHN You just don’t want me to accidentally fall asleep on a stake out again.

SHERLOCK (whispered) It is imperative we stay as quiet as possible now.

JOHN (whispered back) Of course.

SHERLOCK Which means we’ll be sitting in silence for a good portion of the night.

JOHN Yeah mate, I know how quiet works.

SHERLOCK I thought a warning might be nice.

JOHN Well, thanks, I appreciate that. (to himself and the microphone) Of all the things he chooses to warn me about and- oh Christ, the listeners, right-

AUDIO CUT

JOHN (whispered) It is… currently four in the morning. We haven’t heard a peep. I don’t know if we scared Roylott off today, or threw him off his game, but I don’t know if it’s happening tonight.

SHERLOCK Watson.

JOHN What? Did you hear something?

SHERLOCK No.

JOHN Alright. Yeah, quiet. I can do quiet.

SHERLOCK Watson...

JOHN Sorry yeah-

SHERLOCK No, listen!

A high pitched whistle blows softly from above.

SHERLOCK Stay back.

JOHN Hold on, let me get my camera light on, I can’t see.

SHERLOCK No, John the vent is opening!

A large CLANG as Sherlock’s cane hits the vent. A hiss, something slithers back through the vent away from them.

Dr. Roylott SCREAMS from the other room.

JOHN (panicked) What on Earth was that?

SHERLOCK We’ll need the light Watson, hurry.

INT. STOKE MORAN - DR. ROYLOTT’S ROOM

Rushed footsteps. A door bursts open.

Roylott moans.

JOHN Fuck! Is that-?

DR. ROYLOTT (strained and slightly slurred) Get it off me!

JOHN A snake, the speckled band was a snake?!

SHERLOCK Hand me the catch pole. By his leg, there!

JOHN Right-

John moves, he grabs the catch pole. Sherlock takes the pole. The snake hisses, Roylott blubbers in panic and pain.

SHERLOCK The safe, open the door to the safe!

JOHN The- oh! There’s a whole terrarium in there.

The snake hisses again. Louder.

SHERLOCK Watson!

JOHN Got it!

The safe is forced open more. Sherlock places the angered snake inside. John closes the safe with a loud METALLIC CLANG.

John gives a sigh of relief. Roylott moans again, and then tumbles to the floor.

DR. ROYLOTT (gasping) It’s- Swamp Adder- the venom- it bit me.

JOHN Oh God, right, okay, just, hold on- Dr. Roylott, I need you to stay calm. (to Sherlock) Call emergency services! He’s going into anaphylactic shock, I can’t-

SHERLOCK (seriously) They won’t have the anti-venom.

JOHN Just call! I don’t- Maybe I can do another tracheotomy, there’s got to be a pen around here, maybe a letter opener.

John stands. He looks frantically for tools to help.

SHERLOCK John-

JOHN I’m thinking!

SHERLOCK John!

JOHN What?!

SHERLOCK He’s dead.

JOHN But he- (pause) His pulse stopped.

SHERLOCK I’ll call now.

JOHN Um- yeah. Okay. (pause) I’ll- I’ll go get Helen. I’ll see if we can get a hold of Ms. Westphail.

Tense pause.

SHERLOCK He did it to himself, John. He did this to Julia, and he was going to do it to Helen.

JOHN (strained) You’re right, yeah. (John sniffs) I’ll go get Helen.

John leaves, the door closes softly behind him.

AUDIO CUT

Musical interlude.

INT. JOHN’S ROOM

JOHN Well folks, that is the end of the case. Say au revoir to the speckled band, which is now, along with the Cheetah and Baboon being safely handled by some animal conservationist group. Apparently cheetahs are a very endangered species so, Roylott was definitely keeping that illegally. Um, as for Helen, she is now happily settled with her aunt. Obviously, this was a bit of a shock for her but… she’s, she’s in a better place now thank God. And Roylott, well you all know how he ended up. I don’t uh- I don't have much else to say other than that. The Swamp Adder venom really-

The door to the bedroom opens. Sherlock walks in.

SHERLOCK Oh, you’re not done yet.

JOHN Nope, just doing the wrap up.

SHERLOCK Do you mind?

JOHN No, come on in. I was just talking about the Swamp Adder.

Pause.

SHERLOCK You know... there’s no such thing.

JOHN What?

SHERLOCK He misidentified the snake, there’s no such thing as a Swamp Adder.

JOHN But we saw it-

SHERLOCK We saw an Indian Saw-Scaled viper, Echis Carinatus if you want to be technical, and while extremely venomous, it is by no means the most venomous snake in India. That would be the Common Krait.

JOHN You know all that, but you couldn’t name one Madonna song last week at the pub?

SHERLOCK Well the next time Madonna gains the ability to inject 12 milligrams of venom into her victims in one bite, then I’ll try my best to remember her discography.

JOHN Right okay, well you heard it here folks, world class detective, violinist, podcast co-host, Sherlock Holmes, can also add snake expert to his list of accomplishments.

SHERLOCK Herpetologist.

JOHN What?

SHERLOCK An expert in reptiles and amphibians, a Herpetologist.

JOHN Okay that- that can’t be real.

AUDIO CUTS. OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS.

END OF PART ONE OF ONE

#submission #sherlock and co #sherlock & co #flashbang event #sherlock homes #john watson #mariana ametxazurra

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louisupdates · 1 year

Text

What I learned about Louis Tomlinson from making his documentary

Director Charlie Lightening on capturing the former One Direction star in 'All Of Those Voices'

By NME | 30th March 2023

Louis Tomlinson shot to fame with One Direction, the era-defining boy band who conquered the world after being formed on ‘The X Factor’ in 2010. Since the group parted ways in 2016, Tomlinson has forged a solo career that has seen him swap the band’s peppy pop-rock for Oasis-inspired indie bangers. He followed his 2020 solo debut, ‘Walls’, with last year’s chart-topping ‘Faith In The Future’.

For his new documentary, ‘Louis Tomlinson: All Of Those Voices’, the singer has teamed up with Charlie Lightening, the acclaimed filmmaker behind Liam Gallagher’s big-screen doc ‘As It Was’. Here, exclusively for NME, Lightening shares what he learned about Tomlinson from shadowing him during a pivotal and emotional period in his career.

Charlie Lightening, director: “I first met Louis at the premiere of the Liam [Gallagher] film. Well, I say met – I saw him across the way, but we didn’t actually talk. But then he got in touch to ask if I’d make some music videos with him, so we met up properly. I really liked him and found he had a real depth to him. He seemed a lot older than his years and had so much more to say.

When we got talking about his plans to release a solo album [Tomlinson’s 2020 debut ‘Walls’], the idea to make a film came together quite organically. But at that point, I didn’t realise that I would end up shooting him for the next four years. The idea was to follow him on his first solo tour, but he only got two shows in before COVID happened. I think having it all taken away like that made Louis think and really appreciate what he does.

To begin with, Louis’ plan was to do smaller live shows to get a feel for the audience and find out what it’s like to tour as a solo artist. But because of the pandemic, he announced a live-streamed show instead and sold 160,000 tickets without even doing any promo. I think that made him realise: ‘Oh my god, there really is demand for me out there’. So when it was time to get out on the road again, he was ready to bring it.

He started off doing smaller theatre shows in the US, then arena shows in Europe, and by the end he was doing numerous arena shows in South America. So as a filmmaker, I’ve captured a trajectory that would normally take an artist two or three separate tours to achieve. And because of COVID, the fans had two years to live with the [‘Walls’] album, so it much more meaning for them by the time Louis was finally able to play it live.

I think what I find most striking about Louis is how resilient he is. He has been knocked down quite a few times in his life and he keeps getting back up again. He lost his mum [Johanna] in 2016 and sister [Félicité] in 2019 but he never let this define him, so when he says ‘life always throws shit at you’ in the film, he knows what he’s talking about. But he’s still a very positive person and calls himself the product of his mum’s upbringing. Growing up in Doncaster really moulded him; I think that’s why he has such perseverance and self-belief.

At the start of the film, he talks about not really feeling like part of One Direction to begin with. He felt like he had to find his role in the band, as he was excluded from lead vocal lines on the first few singles. This made him more determined and so he started to be involved with writing songs for the band. By the time the band ended, he was the member with the most songwriting credits, which is something that really means a lot to him. He’s proud of that.

I do think that he definitely still misses the band. In a way, you could compare him to Liam Gallagher, who also never wanted Oasis to end and become a solo artist. But I think that’s why Louis’ touring band means so much to him. Louis has done everything already with One Direction – he’s played the world’s biggest venues – so to relive it through their eyes on this tour was a very special thing for him.

Louis is a very private person but I think people will be surprised by just how much he opens up in this film. You see him being a dad and being vulnerable with his family. But what I’ll take away most from the experience is just how much Louis has grown as an artist. At one point, it felt like it was Harry [Styles] and Niall [Horan] who were getting all the headlines and Louis was being slightly underrated, as he hadn’t released anything at this point. I do think that some people who watch this film will be surprised by the level he’s already got to as a solo artist, but this is just the beginning. He knows where he wants to go creatively and he’s in control of his headspace, so the next album will be another massive step forward.”

‘Louis Tomlinson: All Of Those Voices’ is in cinemas now

As told to Nick Levine

#nme #louis press #louis tomlinson #aotv review #charlie lightening #30 march 2023

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petals2fish · 4 months

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Hello! I was thinking about you recently and realized your petalstofish account was gone, and I started to worry about you. Because that’s what I do. Maybe you said something about leaving your previous accounts and I missed it, that would be likely on my part. So I was thrilled when Dumbest Witch Alive showed up in my inbox and I found you here again! I hope you’re well!

Hi friend!! thank you so much for reaching out and for reading DWA!!!!I told @gryffindormischief last night that I genuinely threw up words onto paper and that’s the mess that came out lmao

Alsoooooo…I am so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. I had mentioned only a couple of times that I was dealing with some health issues, but I never went into full detail, so I’m sure it looked odd when I just disappeared. 2023 was really hard year, and I stepped away from all social media except for my instagram for quite some time…but I’m really really excited to be back here and feeling more like Petals again. I missed everyone, and even in the year or so away, I knew eventually I would come back. I just didn’t want anyone to worry if I told them what was going on, so I figured a cold cut was easiest ♥️

Short story:

I was very ill, but I’m feeling SO much better!

Long Story:

Essentially, I had just moved back to Florida after being gone for four years in Arizona. When my old doctor in Florida saw me, they decided that the plaquinil treatments that I have been taking for my chronic illness for the last few years in Arizona had not been working. They decided to put me on this drug called methotrexate. It was chemotherapy in pill form, low dose, and it’s commonly used for people who have rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. My genetics love me so I have both RA and Lupus. So they thought it was a perfect match for me. It’s rare for people to have a super bad reaction to it, usually just fatigue and hair loss, but of course I managed to have like the worst reaction of all.

Due to multiple side effects, I ended up bed bound within a few days of starting my daily doses. During this time I could barely sit up and eat a meal. My mental health was plummeting anytime I allowed myself to have my phone in bed. I knew I had to do something else, before I totally crashed off the deep end. I would go on and see all my friends at Taylor’s era tour, and I’d had to sell my tickets. I was missing birthdays, movies, long planned trips with friends. I was SO lost in a way I can’t even begin to describe.

Even though my wonderful parents moved me in with them and got me a second opinion, by the time the new doctor got me off of the methotrexate and onto a new drug, it took another few months for my body to complete expel it from my system. So I was down for the count from March to October.

Thankfully, I’m feeling SOOO much better now and have a wonderful doctor who listens to me and never tells me my feelings aren’t valid. Once I had a better grasp mentally and physically, and I felt okay enough to start writing and reading and reviewing again, I decided to return to social media. Im actually super excited because I start physical therapy this week, which is a huge step, and I no longer need to use FMLA every week at work. Yay!

ALSOOOO not wholly related but some bot stole PetalsToFish SO HERE I AM WITH A NEW NAME. THANKS BOTS🤪

Xoxo

If u read all the way thru this I owe you an ice cream sundae

#petals talks #a long explanation #some know #some don’t #figured I’d explain for anyone who cares

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teejaysnow · 18 days

Text

It’s 04:00, I’m on the nightbus back to Stockholm (where I will arrive at around 06:10) - and no, I don’t regret all of my life choices. Yet.

My plan for today was to get a hot chocolate at Kaffebrenneriet, do some shopping at Outland and Platekompaniet, and then head over to Dramatikkens hus to watch six scriptwriters from Den Norske Filmskolen “revive the art of theatre”.

Well, at least I got my chocolate - but the shopping spree at Outland was cut short because of a fire alarm, and I didn’t find anything I wanted at Platekompaniet. So the scriptwriters better be reviving the hell outta that theatre, thanks.

First off, I did find Dramatikkens hus after circling the place only once. (Without google maps, I’d probably still be looking for it - they don’t really advertise their existence, do they?) Also, it’s definitely not bigger on the inside - which was good since I’d forgotten to bring my glasses and is pretty much blind as a bat without them. Usually not a problem, my sonar system is pretty good - but for theatre performances I prefer to rely on my glasses, thanks.

So, we all got our hands stamped (well, when I say stamped…), a small program (well, when I say program…), and a lottery ticket - which I suspect was a scam (I mean, as someone with quite a few memories she’d like to forget, I had high hopes for that lottery prize) and were then set free to find a seat. I found a nice one by the wall and curled up to enjoy the show(s).

Anyway - from here on, there be spoilers:

The first play was the lottery one. As I said, I had high hopes for my I19 ticket, but… yeah, I’m pretty sure it was rigged… 😏

Anyway, it was a pretty interesting play. The lottery winner was adamant that she regretted nothing despite the host dragging up things like making her younger sister drink her own urine (thanks for that mental image). It wasn’t until the host talked about how she’d sexually abused someone that the winner started to get uncomfortable and denying it had ever happened. She would never. She wasn’t that kind of person. And anyway, he was a guy, guys wanted sex. Also, guys wanted her. Finally she accepted that she might have been guilty of abuse and asked to get her memory removed. After some further thought, she instead wanted the guy’s memory to be removed. And after even more thought she decided that they both should keep their memories, thus turning down the prize, because it would be weird no matter whose memory got removed.

There were no curtain calls between the sets (well, there was no curtain either, so 🤷🏻‍♀️), only some nifty stagehands moving and removing the few props each scene had. So for Bruduljen, they produced a table and two chairs.

I was looking forward to this one. I read and really liked Camilla’s photobook, which felt very stream of consciousness-y, so I was interested to see if she’d also use that style for script writing. (The answer was no, but I still liked the play a lot.) A teacher and the mother of a girl that had assaulted her were working on a report on what had happened. The mother was trying to soften the language - was it really an assault, wasn’t it more of an argument that got out of hand? Did she really punch you, wasn’t it more of a slap? Talking about how she has a picture of her five year old daughter with her face full of ice cream taped to the refrigerator, wondering what happened to that sweet girl who now colour her hair and have a… well, rather colourful language to match? The mother and the teacher got into a shouting match, then there was an actual fight where the teacher’s ptsd from the assault kicked in and she hid under the table, and then there was a sweet (and very funny) bit where the mother tried to coax the teacher out from under there. And then they went back to work on the report.

Stagehands in to exchange the table and chairs for a sofa with a… well, body, I guess? Enter my favourite play of the night.

The description of this one gave me a bit of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf vibes beforehand. Afterwards? Yeah, I’m still sticking with old Virginia here. It’s really funny with some pretty loud arguments in between. As well as a whole cooked turkey thrown on the floor. Twice. I guess nothing says Christmas like a good family argument? Even if one third of the family is sitting dead on the sofa…

The play began with mum talking to her (very dead) hubby and offering him whisky. Which he - surprisingly enough - didn’t drink. She blamed it on it being cheap whisky - me, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have drank it even if it had been Talisker. Enter daughter, who complains about the smell. I wonder why 🤔 She also complains about rats. I wonder why 🤔 Exit mum to the kitchen to fetch the turkey - leading to my favourite joke of the night (that didn’t get a laugh - I wonder why?? 😠) where the daughter pours a glass of whisky, holds it out to her dad and with an absolutely perfect delivery says “Whisky?”. Anyway, enter the turkey, daughter throws it to the ground while yelling at her mother in english, picks it up, hands it to her mum, and apologises - only for her mother to throw it to the ground while yelling back, also in english. Then the doorbell goes off and her mum asks if the daughter had invited anyone. Which she had. People from the funeral parlour. Her mum still doesn’t want to let go of her dead husband, so the daughter agrees not to let them in and that they can all just sit and wait for death and then get buried together. Always look on the bright side of death, I guess.

Okay, so out with the sofa, in with… nothing? Except for two actors, that is. So this was basically my reason for going to Oslo. Well, this and Kaffebrenneriet’s hot chocolate.

Now, let’s start with the fact that the Bergen accent is not my friend, so… the struggle was real. I most definitely didn’t get all of the dialogue.

The play was about a seventeen year old drama student wanting to do a Chekhov play topless (but I’d say she definitely gave off more Shakespeare’s Ophelia vibes with the whole waif-y dancing and singing). Anyway, she baited the drama teacher about it and how she felt that Nina would definitely have her boobs out. The drama teacher didn’t fully agree, trying to argue that it was a school play and the sixteen year old boys watching would just see her boobs. The student argued that it would be Nina’s boobs they saw, not hers. (I think both me and the drama teacher doubted that the boys would make that distinction) The student kept provoking the teacher, calling him out about having liked to see her boobs. The teacher altered between confessing that he had and saying that he hadn’t and that he was being her teacher. It all finished with her dancing off the stage while humming an eerie melody, apparently off to drown herself in the river (as I said - Ophelia vibes) Between this and Kunsten er død, I have a feeling Tarjei is in his “exploring what art really is” era.

Anyway - no stagehands this time since we were getting another props free play.

This one was the age old story of boy leaving a party early because ex is there with her new beau, ex comes after him and calls him out on it, boy admits to it. Although a bit more complicated. (Don’t get me wrong, I did like this one.) So, boy and girl used to be a couple when they were younger. At seventeen, girl got pregnant. Girl then lost the baby, which led to the break up - apparently without the two of them really talking about it. Until now. Let’s just say there were some left over feelings still around and they kept skipping around the stage, getting closer and closer to each other. Until they got very close. And then her phone rang and it all crumbled into pieces. Boy is about to walk away, girl is waiting for her boyfriend to drive her home - and then we get a fifteen minute flash forward indicating that there will be an accident. Boy imagines asking (what we now know is future dead) girl to tell their unborn baby that he loves her. Sad now. (Also, all the actors were great, but I think these two were my favourites.)

And now the stagehands are back for the final play. Hooray! Enter a park bench and one actor - who is taking a magazine test on sexuality. S&M. Whips. Dogs. (I might have misheard that last one. At least I hope I did.). This is when actor number two arrives and starts going on about Will Smith and Chris Rock. (Both me and actor number one are of the opinion that it’s been years, just get over it.) Actor two talks about having sex with multiple people - which actor one quickly labels “poly” and - after a bit of explaining - actor two happily accepts. They continue to talk about the sexuality test and actor one goes full gossip girl and spills about how his girlfriend and a male friend got the same high score on the sadist category. They then do a bit of fuckboy sniggering until actor two shoves actor one hard enough for him to kick over his soda bottle. And that soda had cost him thirty crowns, thank you very much. So actor one tries to fight actor two over it. Very unsuccessfully. So actor one ends up lying on the ground moaning while actor two returns to the bench and starts up on the whole Will and Chris thing again. Actor one yells at him to stop (otherwise I’d have probably done it 😒), and actor two realises that actor one laying on the ground whimpering meant he’s masochistic - which is the perfect pairing for his sadist girlfriend. And then they all lived happily ever after.

The whole thing took about 90 minutes - which meant I had eons of time to catch my bus. I even had time to meditate a bit over the Opera House by night.

And now, here I am on a bus back to Stockholm, bum complaining about the uncomfortable seat, head complaining about the lack of sleep, stomach complaining about not enough food, and bladder complaining about having had too much to drink. And I’m still not regretting any of my life choices. Today’s been fun!

#tarjei #filmforfattere gjenoppliver teaterkunsten #that bergen accent is my villain origin story

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