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#and i'm playing so well the sound effects are overlapping and the screen is just an explosion of stars w
miodiodavinci · 2 months
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head in hands like "maybe i should have realized this about myself sooner" as i am surrounded by neon flashing signs that Very Clearly Indicate the thing i should have realized about myself sooner
#anyway i'm just mulling about the 'tism skdjfhgljhdfg#thinking about how i've been having a hard time on site with my internship because i struggle to make small talk with my superiors#and everything is uncomfortable and terrible all of the time and i feel so so out of my depth#but talking with my university superior about the methodology of our profession#has me feeling like i'm playing just dance on extreme and i'm nailing every single beat w#like quite literally is like one of those rhythm games where when you get a combo it plays a cool sound effect#and i'm playing so well the sound effects are overlapping and the screen is just an explosion of stars w#so yeah i am. very comfortable talking academics and theory and things but. shit in social situations.#when i don't have that to rely on whoops#anyway it's just another thing on the incredibly long list of things i have building in my mind of#'why i should have realized i'm probably on the spectrum sooner'#the thrilling sequel to 'how did i go 20+ years without realizing i have ADHD' w#(speaking of)#(the way my ADHD has been leaping into the spotlight this week)#(biggest highlight was being jumpscared not once)#(not twice!!)#(but THREE times by food i had bought for myself)#(put down briefly)#(and then forgotten about for upwards of 30 minutes to 5 hours)#(like the other day i bought myself a little pastry on the way home as a congrats for surviving another week)#(and i put it on the table when i came inside)#(but i. forgot i did that. and went like 4 hours without even thinking about it)#(until i got up and left my room and saw the bag and went '! ! ! ! ! ! ! OH MY GO D MY PASTRY NOOOOOOO')#(the adhd and the autism . . . . they are attacking my ass . . . . . )
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yuuana · 3 months
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Music Monday #237: ATEEZ - Everything release: December 2023 genre: Kpop, K-R&B cw: flashing, arson, a relationship dissolving on screen
And now for something completely the same: ATEEZ's final unit MV from WILL, in which everyone cries and things end up on fire. Look, no one ever said K-dramas lacked in, well, drama. ;) The lyrics spoil the story, but if you really don't want any spoilers, watch the video before continuing further.
Obviously a solo song from Jongho was going to be a ballad - in previous years, when the team was less busy, his solo content was a series of covers for kdrama OSTs. He's main vocalist for a reason and don't even get me started on his Mayfly-V stage during Kingdom. Everything is every bit as soulful and heart-wrenching as any ATINY could have expected, a song about loss and regret and knowing you can never make right the things you did wrong, but oh, if you could.... The soft piano opening, the way Jongho pours his whole heart into his voice from the soft opening to the soaring high notes of the climax that then trails off into soft wistfulness once more to the end ... you may need to keep a tissue close for this one.
This music video, unlike previous unit videos, is almost entirely story mode, as Jongho flexes his acting chops once more, now with less baby face. Most of the flashing is at the very start, where the video flashes through snapshots of the scenes we'll see play out a bit more in the video, so the bigger warning is really if watching a relationship fall apart on screen is a bugbear of yours. The lyrics already spoil the narrative, since the song starts out talking about never being able to see the other person again, but the video offers more context to why things ended up that way.
Interestingly, this video was shot entirely on sound stages - yes, even the snowy night scenes, which was a surprise to me, too. And it's not CGI snow - watching the behind the scenes, I was surprised and impressed at the number of practical effects where others would have gone with computer-generated. Some of the fire at the end is very obviously computer-added, but it's combined with actual on-set controlled fires that the old-school film fan in me quietly appreciates. Plus the snow. So much fake snow, it's a delight ... until Jongho told me how they made the fake snow and now all I see is that. XD
And now ... the lore paragraph! As with Youth, Everything is firmly planted in the A 'verse, with Jongho as a former basketballer living with his girlfriend until they break up because he's been a shit boyfriend. This means we've moved along the timeline a little bit, though that fits with the lyric in Youth talking about being in their twenties - Zero Fever implied Heroteez were still in high school. Of course ATEEZ lore has never been entirely linear and considering ATEEZ were already in their twenties during Fever era, the warehouse scene from the diary could just as easily be happening closer to this than first appearances lead us to believe. So once again we're left with more questions ... and the recent teasers ATEEZ have released have been no help at all - I have no idea where Not Okay is going to fall and ANITEEZ are in Halateez garb, soooo. Who knows. Not me. XD
This is the last WILL unit MV ... so of course yesterday KQ put out a performance version of MATZ which has almost no footage overlap with the original MV. I had initially assumed the difference in shooting days (Everything was one day, the other three shot for two days each) had to do with Jongho being on his own for this project. But now I'm wondering if secret performance versions also contributed, since the other three have dances and Everything doesn't. I suppose we will have to wait and see.
WILL is still available for purchase, ATEEZ just wrapped a two day concert extravaganza (based on what I've seen from it so far) in Seoul to kick of another world tour (additional dates in Japan in February, further tour details to come later), and oh yeah, Coachella in April, so another busy year of travelling the world, kicking butt and taking names.
Want to see Music Monday deep dives more often? Sponsor a song selection! For the low, low price of one (1) KoFi, I'll write up the song of your choice. ANY song of your choice. Yes, even that one that's been played to death. Yes, your obscure faves too. With sponsors, I can stop skipping weeks and falling further and further behind in the releases! Sponsor a current CB for the next open Music Monday slot or sponsor a throwback for a Thursday feature! But seriously, if you've been enjoying my selections and analyses, we (me and the foster kittens) would love a KoFi in thanks. DW | Twitter | Mastodon | Bluesky | Ko-fi | Patreon | Discord | Twitch
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tamagochiie · 3 years
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soulmate au
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synopsis. where the haikyuu bois can hear when their soulmate is singing (whether it be in another universe or theirs)
character roster. oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, kenma kozume, kuroo tetsuroo, tsukishima kei, yamaguchi tedashi, sugawara koushi, daichi sawamura, hinata shoyo, bokuto kotarou, akaashi keiji 
genre. fluff
a/n. this has been in my drafts for over a month now, and i really wanted to write this properly after finishing up my finals... i saw a lot of tiktoks about this and i was  i n s t a t n l y  hooked. 
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oikawa tooru —> it happens during his high at the final moments of the game; breaths ragged as sweat drips down from his face, the crowd chanting his name when he sends the ball flying over to the opposing court. his ego is flying dangerously close to the sun when the quiet hum of your voice has him jolt in place—feet completely glued to the floor. he'll try to brush it off and try to focus back on the game at hand, but there's a thrum of excitement in his chest when he hears you loud and clear.  
its a moment he's been waiting for, but out of all times, why now? his eyes will sweep through the bleachers, hoping to see that you might be close by, but the poor boy's out of luck. even more so, when the buzzer screeches in the stadium does oikawa gravitate back to reality, your singing no longer ringing in head does he realize he's cost the whole team their winning point. 
iwaizumi hajime  —> he's in the middle of a nap during lunch, ignoring his friends who're eating by his side; oikawa's persistent chattering drowns out the noise in the classroom. so he gets up and leaves, knowing full well he'll never be able to get the peace he deserves if he stays a minute longer. 
he threads his fingers through his hair, trying to subside his headache as he stumbles down the hall to look for a place to sleep. he'll eventually make a home out of a creaky wooden bench just outside the art room, settling uncomfortably on the fragile wood.
he'll miss it at first, thinking you were just one of the girls passing by. actually, he misses it completely by assuming it as such. but he doesn't mind it as it helps him fall asleep; he makes mental note to find you, making the mistake of assuming you're not anywhere else except here.
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kenma kozume —> "who the fuck is singing?" is what kenma hisses as he clicks away, harshly pressing down on the keys in a switch motion. his lip caught between his teeth, brows furrowed into a deep line as the screen of his computer ; he's been streaming for hours with kuroo and levi.
kenma is not a believer of soulmates, and the boy dreaded the moment he'd have to hear your voice uninvitingly taking up room in the space he felt the safest: his head. as you sing to the top of your lungs, enjoying the high of a chorus, unbeknownst to you the effect it had on the poor gamer boy who had all the hours he spent playing go to waste, he's just been given more reason to hate you than to love you.
kuroo tetsuro —> a smile creeps across his lips when he hears you sing, setting his textbook down before he slumps against the wooden backrest of his chair. he's been wondering when he'd hear from you; he always made sure he was in a quiet space so he'd hear you loud and clear. he flutters his eyes shut, craning his head back as his body eases to the sound of your voice. you weren't the best singer, but to kuroo you were the sweetest sound he could ever hear.
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tsukishima kei —> he has a sharp tongue, but who would've thought there'd be a day when he'd open his mouth to fire insults at certain blueberry boy only to have nothing—not even a crack in his voice—slip out. his mouth goes dry instantly as he stands there dumbfounded as  yamaguchi. somehow, the oh-so golden crown that usually rests well atop tsukki's head has fallen to the gentle sound of your singing.
though tsukki had always placed himself in a pedestal, looking down on other from where he stood, there was always a lingering insecurity that he'd never get a soulmate in this lifetime—or in any lifetime. so when he hears your voice in his head, there's a twinge of hope in his heart at the thought there's someone meant for him.
yamaguchi tadashi —>  he's blushing quite profusely, slapping his hand onto tsukki's mouth without giving the action as much as a thought as excitement overrides him, catching tsukki off guard. he can finally hear you, and he almost misses it if it weren't for his best friend's pride.
yamaguchi rests his eyes, fluttering them shut as he and his lanky friend stop in the middle of the hallway, not minding those who brush past him as he dwells in the sound of your voice.
"she's so beautiful," yamaguchi sighs, moving his hand off of tsukki's lips and onto his chest, "i wanna marry her."
"how can you say she's beautiful?" tsukki seethes, spitting away the salty aftertaste of his best friend's hand. "you haven't even seen her yet."
"with a voice like that, i already know she is."
sugawara koushi —> the amount of force he uses when he slaps his teammates on the back is the same amount of force that presses against his heart when he hears you singing, voice cracking ever so often as you try to reach the high notes. happy isn't a word he could describe the little pitter patter of feet squishing his stomach. happy is not a good enough word for sugawara to describe how he feels after finally getting to hear you sing.
she must really like this song, sugawara thinks to himself as mutes his teacher's chattering. he'll close his eyes, listening to you and your words carefully before scribbling the lyrics onto his notebook, keeping note to search the song later. it's a habit sugawara will eventually grow into every time he hears your voice, thinking he'll get to know you a bit better by listening to your favorite songs.
sugoi, he gasps in wonder, lips curving into a smile. its a soft ballad, foreign to his ears, but he'll mouth along to your singing and continue on with his jog.
daichi sawamura —> it happens in the middle of his morning jog while listening to music. he'll take off his earbuds, tapping against the plastic because he thinks his earphones one of his broken when your voice overlaps with the bands he's listening to. it takes him a while, but when he pauses his music, its only then does he realize what's going on.
hinata shoyo —> he sprints to kageyama, slapping him in the back while he's about to practice a toss, "i can hear her! i can hear her!" is what the sunshine boy screams, tugging onto the sleeve of his best friend as he hears your voice. "i can finally hear her!"
still clinging onto the material of kageyama's jersey, earning a grunt and a curse, hinata flutters his eyes shut and focuses on the sound of your voice. he doesn't understand the lyrics or the tune of the song you're singing, but its you—your voice that has his heart thumping against his ribcage, breaths hitching in his throat, drying his lips. the same high he rides in the middle of the game rises from the pit of his stomach and spreads a warm feeling across his chest.
and for the first time, the bright boy has something else to beam about other than a sport.
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bokuto kotarou —>  his eyes dilate as his lips curve into a toothy grin, cheeks blushing a peachy color when he hears you, his soulmate, the one and only person he can finally call home. your voice isn't the prettiest nor is it the smoothest, but it belongs to the one he'll get call his—his whole world. he's spent his whole life imagining what it'll feel like when he hears you; maybe his hairs will stand on its ends, a tickle down his spine, or maybe he'll know what it feels like to forget how to breathe. But instead, he's learns what it means to be at peace, to feel the world turn beneath his feet as focuses on nothing but the sound of your voice.
he drops everything in his hands, his attention slipping away from the front of the class and onto you. he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, tuning out everything else as he listens to you stumbling over your words as you try to sing  properly.
cute, is the last thought bokuto spares before sinking back into his chair.
akaashi keiji —> its a small smirk that plays across this quiet boy's lips. there's a slight tug in his heart as his stomach folds into itself. the quiet mumble of your singing washes out the background noise of bokuto's shouting echoing the gym.  he shuts his eyes, fiddling with the ball in between his hands as he listens to you.
he'll bob his head to beat of your words, even humming a little once he's caught the tune. his teams watch him from the side, brows furrowed while a few mouths hang open. he looks strange, but akaashi is too invested in the moment he shares with you to think twice about what he might look like.
*i'm still not convinced that i can properly write my bbies from inarizaki, so until then, please bare with me hahu
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