Tumgik
#and if i move out next month i wont be there lmao my parents are taking care of it
jaffre · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
suitcase of creatures
8 notes · View notes
crymea-river · 2 years
Text
5/14/2022
i am smoking a joint on my porch on a warm saturday morning, after ive already been to target and starbucks. i cannot put into words how centered i feel right now !!
also this is my home for the next 15 months , me and my besties resigned our lease and that makes this THE FIRST YEAR SINCE I MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE THAT I WONT HAVE TO MOVE WOOOOOOOOO im so relieved. i fucking hate moving
also on my mind rn bc it happened somewhat recently, soooooooo many people that have met will and i together irl will somehow indirectly imply (or sometimes not so indirectly) that i am out of his legue and quite frankly i do not understand. i ve admired this man (albeit from a distance) since i was like 16 or 17 years old probably. i feel like EYEEE am the lucky one here ??? idk lol its hilarious tho i still have like a girly little crush on him like that shit never went away i cannot BELIEVE i am in such a relationship w him. i am so
in fucking love
with him, Its wild!!!
his birthhday is next weekend and we are going to chattanooga 🥺 is funny bc weve gone to chattanooga my last 2 birthdays (since i moved from there…… basically meaning that i have never had an adult birthday not in chattanooga interesting 🤨) and now he wants to go there for his, i love it!!!! also fun favt that i have probably told every single person that will let me lmao he and i have exactly half birthdays. his is 5/20 mine is 11/20 !!! we are soulmates i think
0 notes
shdwwlkrsblog · 3 years
Text
You left me once now do it again
Want it for another Charakter in an different fandom or whatever ? Request now because i wont be doing this type of post all the time only when going dark and btw we are close to 100 followers
C!techno x reader
Tw: angst , blood , child (lmao I'm sry;-;) , being left mid-pregnancy
Masterlist
Oh how will it go me a child-disliker (i only hate the loud ones) writing something like this lmao I'm also going dark again be ready for maybe a few angst posts
You were happy with techno as your partner and father of your unborn child until he left for a mission (to get the milk) and didn't come back for few days . You thought nothing of it and assumed he calculated it wrong and doesn't come home in 2 days. Like he said maybe in 7 . 7 days grew into weeks and those weeks grew into months and those grew into years . He was missed for 10 years now.
You looked down at your son standing next to you and played with a small horse you both called Henry . It was a few months old and Livian(or however you want to call him) your son really wanted his own horse and not always practice on yours . Livian was a clever kid and he really looked like... His father. You didn't want to say his name it bring to many emotions and memories up . "Moma you okay?" Your son's worried eyes stared at you " yeah I'm okay do you want to do something livi?" You both always called the other with a nickname never with their real name without it was serious . "Maybe some training i want to finally beat Micheal in a fight he's so good" Livian sighed and looked at you "and i finally want to be as strong as you are ma' " the child crossed his arms making you smile and ruffle his hair " okay I'm bringing out the training dolls get your sword and bow time to slay some dumb puppets" "yay" Livian ran into the house while you got the puppets that matched his size out of the chest next to the horses . Livian seemed to search for his sword and bow since he took longer than usual giving you time to put the puppets in their place , until you grabbed the one he made himself and quickly put it back ' that one is going to stay alive ' you thought with a smile eyeing the messy stitches and the smile he drew on it . " Momma i got it " he screamed and ran through the snow towards you .
" are you going to show me a multi shot ? " You wanted to answer but a quick movement in the corner of you eye got your attention and few seconds after that snow began to fall " mom?" " Yes? Oh sorry honey and yes I'm gonna teach you it just pull that cape over your head we don't want your hair to get wet and cold (yes when it's snowing and stuff it gets wet . Own experience) he did what you said and a strand of pink hair was visible and a bit of his pig ears . You pulled you cape over you head too and pulled out your bow and few arrows " here you put that on the middle of string for multishot " you handed the boy small thing and he applied it on the string before looking at you waiting for the next step " good , look closely your gonna put the finger all around the bowbody and lie the arrows on them at the end you put them against the thing while- " you stopped as your son shooted 2 arrows perfectly at head and heart of the nearest puppet "like that?" " Yes like that , awesome shot little boy" " thanks and IM NOT SMALL" he complained but suddenly looked at the forest " mom so ethi g is watching us but no worries I'll deal with it" you still tried to see what he saw while Livian was reloading the bow with 2 arrows taking a few seconds to aim and then shot . Only 1 waited a spilt second aiming again shooting the 2nd this time it must have hit something alive because the bushed moved as something ran off ,and you got a glimpse of an way too familiar cape " Livian Go inside and stay there I'll look what it is " "but-" " do it , you helped me enough strong boi " Livian the loyal kid he was nodded and ran unsere while you equipped a shield and an ender pearl since running would waste too much time , calculating where it would be you threw the pearl quickly equipping a sword .
Once you saw him you held the sword to his throat " what . Are. You . Doing . Here?" Voice low and calm but inside a storm of emotions you asked your lost "partner" but when the only thing coming from him were heavy breaths and blood dripping down into the snow you put your sword back and took one of his arms around your neck , then you noticed his half passed out state and the arrow in his shoulder .' i really need to pay more attention ' and 'why am I even helping him ?' were your thoughts as you dragged him into your house where you sat him on your bed while livian sneaked downstairs . You didn't notice livian when you went to the storeroom to get some healing potions . Livian used his chance and walked to the hybrid his little ironsword In his hand . Techno who was now feeling a bit more conscious looked at the small boy . "Good shot " he praised as he managed to pull the arrow out . " Don't move or I'll kill you!" The small boy stepped back and went into a fight position Techno new to good. It's the same you used when you both trained . After something that felt like hours you came back with the potions you saw livian and called him back to your side "livian dont go too near to strangers " "strangers huh y/n? " Techno asked smiling " livian please go upstairs i have to talk to this man " livian waited a bit starring at the piglin man " if you even try to hurt my mom I'll kill you painfully " he threatened techno , you were surprised by the new site of your son and watched him go upstairs . Techno was impressed but not for long as he saw a healing potion held infront of him. " drink " you hated yourself for helping him but you couldn't let him die there too . " Our son is pretty good for a ten year old" "Our? Don't you dare call him your son ," " com'on y/n don't be like that . Does he even know I'm his father ?" "No he knows his father left while I was pregnant with him. But he sees Sam as his 2nd dad" "Sam!?why him!?heh!?" Technos voice rised and you quickly covered his mouth "shh be quiet and Why do you even care?" You asked and the hybrid sighed looking at a scar on his hand ' this isn't like normal techno' you thought. " Look I'm made a mistake leaving y-" " not that shit now techno." He sighed again and looked down " y/n please I'm sorry but I had to leave " "why? " Techno suddenly stood up and put a hand on your shoulder " look i am wanted, dead . And I didn't want to be a threat for our son . Y/n I'm really sorry I should have checked on you and him and not leave you for that long . But ... I'm too dangerous" technos voice went quieter at the end and you thought about it for a while . Techno wanted to let go of your shoulder but stopped as you began to speak. " But why did you never tell me? All those years would have been less painful and he would have finally known his father" "i ... I didn't know what I was doing , the voices- " "wait you're my father?" The voice of your son came from behind you and techno looked at you you nodded knowing what he's asking he then back at livian " yeah I am" " why didn't you come home earlier?"at this point you knew livian wasn't behind you all the time because he didn't hear the reason why he left . But that wasn't the problem the problem was are you going to forgive him? Now that you know the reason you can understand him a little more. You still have some feelings for him too
What should you choose? You looked over at livian who was now hugging his biological father with a smile on his face
Bonus scenario you forgave techno
You looked outside the window with a cup of tea in your hand and saw techno and livian having a snowball fight. Since you forgave him techno was a whole other man he showed more feelings and allowed himself to be a little more childish and play with livian . Livian was happy about finally living with both of his parents . You were pushed out of your thoughts by a snowball hitting the window infront of you and techno laughing while livian smile proudly . You shook your head at those two and watched them continuing their fight
It was a good choice giving the hybrid a 2nd chance
≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠
hope y'all enjoyed
Ask box open
160 notes · View notes
okitagumi · 2 years
Note
every single color for the ask box thingy 😽😼 (,if u wanna lol)
Invade my privacy. Do it.
Purple: 10 facts about my room
i used to share it with my sister, my wardrobe is about to fall apart any minute cuz it's old and sucks, i have 3 different fairy lights in there, the walls are white now but they used to be yellow and blue, there's a dent in a wall from the time i threw a chair, the message chair my mother bought my dad for his 40th bday is in my room but it's broken and i dont want it but there's nowhere else to put it, there are also exactly 4 posters of my favorite kpop girlgroup, the bookshelf in my room is actually way too small for all the books im planning to buy in the future but there's no space for another shelf, the lightbulb in my room take a while to fully light up so whenever i turn on the light it gradually .. slowly .... gets brighter, my brother's been trying to get me to switch rooms with him for ages cuz his is smaller but i wont
Blue: 9 facts about my family
albanians from kosovo, i still have relatives living in kosovo but most of my family's abroad (mainly germany, austria and switzerland) by now, i have two younger siblings, i grew up with my siblings and 5 of our cousins in one house until i was 10 so we were 8 kids in total (i was the oldest), i have about 50 cousins in total, my brother got engaged last year on dec 26th and then married just 2 days after, my grandpa was the first in our family to emigrate to germany in 1970 and he went all alone, my dad was born in kosovo two years after that and then came to germany in 1986 when he was 14, my parent's marriage was arranged and my mother had no problem with that but my dad really wasn't happy with it
Green: 8 facts about appearance
my hair's red currently, but naturally it's dark brown, my hair's pretty long like lower back length but also damaged as hell, i'm 5'5 / 165cm, i have dark eyes, also long finger nails and they're a pain sometimes BUT i keep them long because i used to be a huge nail-biter and im proud i could stop that habit, i had straight bangs for a few months but they look terrible now cuz im growing them out, u'll rarely see me without nail polish
Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood
i think i repressed the memory of most of it cuz i barely remember anything tbh lmao, in 3rd grade we had obligatory swimming lessons every 2 weeks and i almost drowned once (i couldnt swim back then and im still a terrible swimmer), i almost hung myself on accident while playing with one of my cousins, watching digimon after kindergarten/elementary school was my biggest happiness, like i said earlier we were eight kids but our parents didn't want to waste money on toys we'd eventually break anyways so we'd always have to come up with games ourselves (like jumping from a small wall onto the binbags in the backyard, throwing stones instead of balls .......), i once got so angry i whacked my brother over the head with a belt buckle and his head bled so hard he had to be driven to the hospital anyways i still cant stand the sight of blood, my cousin and i once played in our grandpa's car but one of us accidentally released the handbreak and the car rolled backwards with us still in it and the adults who were outside freaked OUT
Orange: 6 facts about my home town
it's not really a town it's just a village with a little over 3k ppl, i moved here when i was about 2 years old, then i moved a couple streets away when i was 10 bc my parents were tired of so many people in one house, my 9th/10th grade german teacher lives like 2 minutes away from me, my elemtary school building isn't used anymore cuz they build a new school building right next to it where the park was but the new one's kind ugly (and too small apparently), we have like 5 or 6 cemetries here
Red: 5 facts about my best friend
i dont have one best friend but rather a group of best friends so one fact for each of them: two of them are twins i met 5 years ago, another one has been my friend for like 11 years ? we've never actually met tho but we probably will this year, another one lives in indonesia but we've known each other for pretty much 6 years now, i've met this friend about 6 years ago on twitter too and we love remembering the beef between some of our shared mutuals and friends what a fun time, last one is also from indonesia and i havent known her for as long as the others (maybe 3 years or something) but we grew close so quickly so now instead of our names it's always beloved this beloved that .. everyone's sick of us probbly
Pink: 4 facts about my parents
im not close to my mother at all like she might as well be a stranger to me that's how terrible our relationship is, im kind of close to my dad but even with him it's more of a "i hate you one moment and love you the next" kind of thing, like i said earlier my dad initially didnt want to get married to my mother because no one even asked him lmao his dad was just like "son ... i found a wife for u" and that was that. he accepted it after a while but from what i've heard from my uncles he didn't even want to be in the same room as her at first, they've been married for almost 28 years now
White: 3 facts about my personality
im extremely introverted, doesn't mean i enjoy staying in all the time cuz i also get bored so quickly, it takes a lot to genuinely make me angry
Grey: 2 facts about my favorite things
right now my favorite thing is mahoyaku so i'll just drop 2 facts about that: one of the characters canonically fucked for sugar, another character canonically eats dirt and charcoal and plates (mistook plate for cookie)
Black: 1 fact about the person I like
i dont like anyone tbh
4 notes · View notes
balkanradfem · 4 years
Text
okay so the most garden ladies are nice but there's two women who just hate me because I'm a disobedient little goblin and I am kinda enjoying it bc it's nice to be hated without any real potential for harm.
The lady gardening right next to me, she has some very fixed ides about how things should be done and is sure that she Knows BestTM and gives me directions about how I HAVE TO garden, or else it will all fail for me, according to her. I come in that garden filled with ideas I found on youtube and online articles and literally do nothing the "right way".
Recently she's been criticizing my every move, apparently my idea to plant potatoes far apart to save them from bugs will actually cause my tomatoes to get eaten by potato bug, my soil is just "not good enough" and I'm doing it wrong by mulching so much (I'm the only one who mulches), I'm never throwing slugs away far enough (I walk like half a mile before throwing them in the wilderness but she wants me to kill them instead and I don't kill animals), and I'm wrong for making my own choices abt where to plant things.
We had a conversation about "no dig garden" a while ago and she heard about it and thought it was stupid and impossible. I shrugged and kept piling up composted leaves, straw, hay and mulch on my garden, until the first few level of topsoil was just compost I didn't need to dig thru it to plant anymore. She noticed and I think it rubbed her very wrong I just barged in there with zero experience, achieved good soil out of dense clay and don't even have to dig anymore, while doing the exact opposite of what she's been telling me to do. So she's trying to prove to me that it "actually sucks" because "there's still clay underneath" but every single plant has been doing well, I barely have any weeds to pull out and my top soil doesn't get damaged by sun, wind or any bad weather, actually it's insulated by straw so temperature changes wont affect roots.
She was also one of the people to tell me I "can't grow broccoli myself, I have to buy transplants" and said it over and over and then I grew them myself and they were big and fed me for months. My ego has been feeling very good about it. I think maybe hers isn't doing so well, but you know?? If your pride depends on a rando not doing as you say and succeeding... you gotta deal with that lmao. Kudos for sticking to tradition but I'm gonna use every new discovery about gardening to succeed and will ignore all of "advice" that is just a poorly disguised attempt to scare me into thinking I'm doing things wrong by refusing to obey. Had enough of that from abusive parents.
Another lady who hates me is an elderly lady with a weird vibe, literally tried to order me around the second she met me, and I was to assume it was "for my own good". My disobedient ass would die out of spite before being ordered around for anyone's good. I was sitting down in the grass as it's one of my happiness activities and she got behind me and went "Get up." And I play into assuming she means well and explain, No, this cannot harm me, I am perfectly content, did this all my life, wont get sick. And she wont accept it. She told me to get up 5 times, very aggressively, before I finally went "You're going to have to bring in 20 people to carry me. Nobody can force me." And the fact I had to go that far to get her off my case alarms me. What kind of self-justified do you have to be to insist on controlling a person you just met! She wouldn't even look at me after that. I am also enjoying that bc I managed to repel that particular bad vibe away from myself. I heard her ask crazy invasive questions to other ladies and they answer! What a crazy thing to do.
I still have to say, their conversation methods are far advanced to what m*n have been saying, apparently if they're walking by me working they expect a conversation and this is their starters: "Is it growing? What is that? Are you gardening? What are you doing? Is that doing well?" And I'm literally.. like what.. do you want me to say??? The plant is RIGHT THERE YOU CAN SEE ITS DOING WELL. IT IS OBVIOUSLY GROWING. ITS A FCKING SUNFLOWER. I AM OBVIOUSLY GARDENING. It's lower than toddler level communication. They will just throw the "blarafgbdsdfg tell me things like I'm a baby" and expect me to play along. THESE ARE ALL OLD CREEPS. And I just refuse to look at them until they go away. One of them dared to go "hey babe" at me and got the "we will not talk further" and withdrew.
I can't differentiate between them bc they all say equally idiotic shit so I have no clue how many are there. Some of them stare from a distance and I ignore them, then come closer and ask me shit, like I was just pulling up grass today and a creepy guy was like "are you pulling up grass?" like oh my god, I'm supposed to deal with that???? I'm supposed to act like this is a thing a person older than 2 can say to me??? and if I say "no, I'm cleaning the chimney" they think I'm making a joke and not telling them they're being stupid! god... it feels like being predated on every single time, thats the only reason why they don't feel like fucking idiots and don't care just how horrible they are at socialization or how much they're embarrassing themselves and obviously annoying me by saying stupid shit at me, it's only because they're never trying to start up a conversation, they're just there to force a prey to react to them, I'm the amusement, the fact that I have to listen to most idiotic shit said on earth is the amusement. I need the goddess of soil to open up the earth and swallow them whole every time they feel like opening their disgusting mouths in my direction.
I know I went against everyone in this post but listen, these two ladies, we hate each others as equals, there is no predator-prey stuff going around, there is no "me being afraid to retaliate" when they're telling me stuff I don't want to be hearing, I never  worry they'll trample my plants, I never have to be self-conscious of what I'm doing when they're watching me, I never once felt any danger or chance of violence while talking to them. I don't dislike their hatred because I'm still human in their eyes, and I can repel their entitlement with a bit of harsh words. For m*n tho? Nothing will ever repel their entitlement. Nothing will make them go after ther own business. Nothing they ever said to me regarded me as an equal or a human being. I was approached as a toy and nothing more. And even though all I want is for them to turn around, leave, and never look at me again, it's not safe to ask for it, nor would I get that. In fact, them knowing just how badly I want to be left alone will make it more amusing to invade in my presence, to rid me of pleasure of gardening in peace. It's not safe to do anything but pretend to be a boring rock they can't get any amusement from, and wait for them to leave. That's what you have to do when a goddamn bear attacks you. I hate it so much. I need to be growing my food in a space with no human predators. Mean ladies still invited. I will not listen to them tho.
54 notes · View notes
mellz117 · 4 years
Text
Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2! 
Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.
[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]
It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.
Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that ->  ……
Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image
Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote
Tumblr media
Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.
SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT
……………………………………………………………………………………………
I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.
IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is! 
Tumblr media
So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao
In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation. 
Tumblr media
blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV
He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.
This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.
TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc 
This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it 
Tumblr media
I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.
The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.
A+ dialogue
Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken. 
“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.
So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.
I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh
Tumblr media
Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.
After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.
“Tell us about the picture thief.”
“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”
You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.
Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like
Tumblr media
The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.
 In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.
God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.
Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.
We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...
Tumblr media
Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.
SKATEBOARD
Tumblr media
“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”
Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?
Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!
So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....
But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!
Tumblr media
FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW
HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days
Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.
Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!
The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.
These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.
Chicken wuss
WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.
This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING
DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!
Tumblr media
Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.
Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL
SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while
IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?
I'm not funny.
Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]
Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.
youtube
1 note · View note
hockeyandstuff91 · 5 years
Text
Fate And The Saint - Part 2
Word count: 3,957
Players: Brock Boeser, basically the whole canucks team lmao
Other people: Holly, Emma, the WAGS
Warnings: Cussing, mentions of cheating, mentions of abuse, I think that’s it
Authors Note: Ahh guys I’m so glad that you all like this story so far. It’s been nice to write a new idea and have a little bit of a different setting than my other stories. I hope you guys like this part, give me some feedback and let me know! Feedback keeps me motivated to keep writing <3
Part 1    Part 3
(Brooke’s POV)
The rest of the vacation had been pretty relaxing. Most of the time Brock and I just hung out on the beach, or Holly and I would go look around some of the cute shops in town. I tried to avoid places where I knew Brad would hang out, like clubs and the bars. We did run into him a few times, however thankfully he never came over or said anything to me. I imagined it probably had something to do with the fact that at any given moment there were at least 5 hockey players around me, insuring that he wouldn't come over.
I was sad to be leaving the warm sun, and beautiful beaches, but I was ready to go home. I just wanted things to go back to normal, however I knew that wasn't going to happen. I couldn't forgive what Brad did to me, and Brock wouldn't let me even if I wanted to anyways. I was glad that Brock was my best friend. I could never ask for a sweeter more caring person to be there for me.
Brock and I had kind of grown up together, our families were friends, so we would have cookouts together during the summer and go watch Brock's hockey games. Brock and I had drifted apart for a while during high school when he was super focused on hockey, which I understood because I knew he was going after his dream. My dad ended up getting transferred with his work up to Calgary at the end of our sophomore year. It sucked having to leave everyone behind, especially Brock even if we hadn't seen each other a lot.
A few years later when Brock was drafted to the Canucks I was so excited for him. I always knew that he would make it to the NHL, he was such a talented player. He didn't get to play until April of 2017, but his last game was going to be in Edmonton which was the next city over so it was perfect, I was going to be able to see my best friend play in the NHL.
After that game the only time I got to see him was on TV when I watched the games, or the few times that he would face time me after a bad loss. It wasn't until the next season in November when they played in Calgary that I got to see him in person again.
(Flashback)
"Brooke!" Brock smiled as he walked out of the locker room, hair still wet from the shower he took after the game.
"Brock!" I smiled and ran over to him, giving him a big hug. "Congrats on the win tonight. And for your first hat trick 3 days ago!" I smiled up at him as we pulled away from each other.
"Thanks," He smiled and grabbed my hand. "Let's go out and celebrate!"
I smiled and followed him out to the parking lot where my car was. I had missed this. Hanging out with my best friend, going out to celebrate a win for one of his games. We had only been 15 at the time but it felt like yesterday. Now here he was 20 years old and playing in the NHL, and I was still living at home with my parents. I was so happy for him getting to live his dream, and watching him do that was amazing.
"So where do you wanna go? This is your city, show me around?" Brock asked as he got into the car.
"Sure!" I smiled, backing out of the parking spot.
It was later that night, after Brock had asked me at least 5 times what was wrong. He could read right through me, always could. I finally had admitted to him that living at home was hell. I loved my family, but the fighting was getting to be too much. I avoided being home as much as I could.
"Brookie I don't want you to deal with that anymore."
"Brock I don't really have a choice. I don't make enough money to live on my own, and none of my friends here need a roommate so I'm out of luck," I shrugged, pushing the food around on my plate.
"I wish you would of told me this sooner," Brock sighed.
"Why? It's not your problem to worry about Brock, you have more important things to focus on."
"Brooke I care about you okay? I know we drifted apart a while ago but I still think about you all the time."
"I know Brock, I think about you too," I almost whispered.
"Let me help you. Please. I can now and I want to," He said firmly, but still soft.
I looked up at him not sure exactly what he meant by that. Almost like reading my mind he opened his mouth to speak before I even got the chance.
"Move to Vancouver. You can stay with Troy and I until we find you an apartment."
"Brock no-"
"Brooke I can't go home knowing what you have to deal with at home and do nothing about it. I have the ability to now let me do this, please."
"But why?"
"Because Brooke you are my best friend, I love you and I want you to be happy."
The situation at home had never been super amazing. My dad was always stressed with work, and we had all thought that stress would lessen when he got transferred, but honestly it only got worse. Brock use to listen to my rants back when we would hang out, so he knew what I dealt with. He had always promised me that he would get me out of that situation, but I never expected him to keep that promise.
It was another month before he finally convinced me to move. I didn't want to be a burden on anyone, or overstay my welcome. I also had expressed my worries about his girlfriend that was back home, not really sure how she would feel about this. He went so far as to call both of us so we could all three talk about it over the phone to make sure everyone was on the same page and okay with everything. Once that was all set the plan was for me to move in in January when the boys had a week off.
I stayed with the boys for about a month before finding a pretty good job in the city. It didn't fully pay the rent that I had at this apartment but Brock wouldn't let me say no to it. The deal he made with me, honestly the only way I would say yes to it, was he would only pay half until I found a roommate to take over. It was only another month after that when I finally found a roommate. We had been introduced at my first event with the company that I worked for, he was also new to the city, which was perfect because he was looking for a place to rent.
That "sweet" guy that I had met almost a year ago turned out to be Brad. We grew close while living together as roommates, which then turned into roommates with benefits, and then a relationship. He ended up getting a good foot in the door with a few different companies, making enough money to decide that we would leave our lease early and found a house that was rent to buy. Everything seemed to be perfect, up until that summer when we moved in and then I learned who the real Brad was.
(End Flashback)
"Brookie," Brock's voice whispered into my ear.
"Mmm?" I groaned, lifting the eye mask off my face, blinking at the change in lighting.
"We're home, we just landed."
I rubbed my eyes and sighed softly, pulling my eye mask off my head and shoving it into my backpack that was between my feet.
"How was your nap?" Brock smiled at me.
"Oh sh," I laughed and sat up straight.
We watched as people got up to get off the plane, waiting for them to get out of our way before us and the rest of the boys stood up.
"So I know you probably don't want to do this right after getting back from the trip, but I feel like the sooner the better, and then you wont have to deal with him being there."
Brock didn't even have to explain what he was talking about, I already knew. I just nodded as I followed him down the plane isle. After walking what felt like forever we finally reached Bo's car and all piled in. We didn't stop anywhere to drop anything off, we just headed straight to my, now old, house.
I gasped softly as I saw a moving truck already outside, and a bunch of the boys standing around, and sitting in the back of the truck. "Brock.. what-?"
"I told you the boys wanted to help. They all love you, always have. You're like a mom to half of them, and a sister to others," he chuckled.
I smiled at that and nodded as I climbed out of the car. I made my way over to them, everyone giving me a hug and telling me they were sorry I had to deal with this.
"We wont let him anywhere near you. Promise," Markstrom smiled down at me.
"Thanks Marky," I smiled back.
The thought of all the boys in their gear, lined up around the house, with Marky standing guard in the doorway made me giggle. I was glad they didn't do that because I would of died laughing, but I wouldn't of put it past them.
We spent the next two or three hours going into each room and clearing out the things that I had bought with my own money. Honestly a lot of it was mine, and I knew Brad was going to be livid when he got home. It had always been a source of argument between the two of us anyways, he would force me to spend my money on stuff for the house only, saying that he had spent all his savings for this place, even though I also had bills to pay too.
Finally they boys piled in the last piece of furniture into the moving truck. I had packed all of the things that I would want right away at Brock's place into the back of Jake's truck so that the rest, which he didn't have room for, would just go into a storage unit for now until I decided what to do with it all.
I looked at the house from the sidewalk and sighed. I hadn't even been here a full year yet but there were a lot of memories from in there. Some good, but a lot of bad. Honestly I wasn't really going to miss this house, just missed what I thought it would of been. I tossed my key onto the porch and got into the car next to Brock, Bo driving us to his house.
A group of the guys had all gone to the storage unit, which they had all chipped in to pay for a year in advance which I kind of yelled at them for, and by yelling I mean I told them they didn't have to do that and tried not to cry at how much love and support I was getting from this crazy hockey team. The rest of the guys followed us to Brock's house, the plan being the other half of the team would meet back here and we were going to have a team party. When we got here we found that the wives and girlfriends of the players, besides Holly who had been with us at the house, were all here making lots of really yummy looking food.
Once unloading the back of Jake's truck and packing everything into the spare bedroom which would become mine, I stepped in to help the girls finish cooking.
"Ah," Emma, Troy's girlfriend said swatting my hand away. "Go relax with the boys, we got this," she smiled at me.
Emma had been on the trip with us, so she knew what had happened. I looked around to all the girls who nodded, giving me sympathetic looks. I sighed and pushed backwards off the counter and turned to go into the living room where all the guys were hanging out.
I scooted my way in between people, plopping down in the one empty spot on the couch next to Brock.
Brock wrapped his arm around my shoulder, leaning closer to whisper, "how are you doing?"
I shrugged my shoulders, because if I was going to be honest with him like he wanted me to be, I really wasn't sure. I knew I would be fine, but right now it still sucked. I was glad to be surrounded by everyone I cared a lot about.
He nodded once and gently rubbed his thumb against my shoulder. I was glad that Brock was able to read and understand my physical cues well enough, especially in a situation like this, so I didn't have to talk about it in front of everyone. He let it go, knowing he could ask later on when everyone had left for the night.
Brock had kept a close eye on me all night, trying to figure out how I was doing without asking me too many times. I knew he was just trying to be there for me, but I didn't want to think about the situation anymore than my brain was already threatening to do already. Thankfully after the guys had eaten and their minds weren't stuck on food anymore, everyone split off into groups and were playing different games.
For the next few hours the house was full of laughter and fun. It was something I needed for a long time that was for sure. I was able to forget about all the bad shit for a few hours and just get to hang out with the team and their girls which was great.
Once the party was over with I was exhausted. From traveling all morning, to moving half a house worth of stuff, to being at the party with everyone, I could barely keep my eyes open. Brock noticed pretty quickly, only about 10 minutes into he movie we were watching.
"Hey, lets get you to bed," he said, standing up and walking down the hall towards my new room.
I yawned, getting up from the couch slowly, steadying myself before I started down the hall behind him. I could heart Coolie's dog tags jingle behind Brock's door
"Hey Coolie, why don't you sleep in Brooke's room tonight, I think she could really use your cuddles bud," Brock smiled and rubbed the pup behind his ears.
Coolie wagged his tail at his dad and pushed by him to follow me down the hall a bit and into my new room. It was right next to Brock's, the other spare bedroom holding the spare boxes of my stuff for the night. I planned on spending the next few days unpacking and organizing my stuff while Brock was busy was practice and getting ready for the game in a few days.
We said goodnight to each other, Brock asking for the 5th time if there was anything I needed before he went to his room for the night. I assured him that I was fine and gave him a quick hug before walking into my room and closing the door behind me. I changed into my PJs and opened the door a bit so that if Coolie wanted to get out at some point in the night he could.
I crawled into bed and pet Coolie for a few minutes before laying down. I grabbed my phone and decided to try and read a few chapters of the book that I gotten right before we went on the trip. I was hoping it would relax me enough to let me fall asleep easily, however that wasn't the case. Eventually setting the book down on my nightstand after not really being able to focus on it that well I decided to just try and force myself to sleep.
It had been at least an hour of tossing and turning. I could not get comfortable no matter what I tried. Coolie was a good sport about it, passed out at the end of the bed even though I kept moving. Eventually I curled up on my side, facing the wall and closed my eyes.
My mind continued to flash back to that night at the club, seeing Brad dancing all over that girl. I had frozen when I first saw it, the lights were low so I wasn't sure if it was really him or not. Their faces were everything but glued together while they danced. Once they finally had pulled away I could tell for sure it was him.
I opened my eyes when I felt Coolie inch his way up the bed, curling up in front of me. I hid my face in his fur as I let go the wall I had put up over the last half week. I had tried my best to keep a brave face on when everyone was around. I didn't want them to feel bad for me, I just wanted to move on. My body on the other hand knew that in order to move on I needed to cry this out.
I was glad for Coolie being there, he muffled my cries for the most part. I was pretty sure that Brock was asleep, so he wouldn't hear me through the wall, at least I hoped not. Out of anyone I didn't want to cry in front of Brock. He was the only one I would be comfortable to cry in front of, but I knew it would make him more mad at Brad and he would always be careful around me. I didn't want this situation to change how he treated me for the next two weeks while I dealt with this.
(Brock's POV)
I was about an hour into this movie and I honestly had no idea what had even happened so far. My mind kept wandering back to the trip, and the look on Brooke's face when she told me what happened. We had known each other for so long and she was, is, my best friend. I wanted to do nothing but protect her and I feel like this whole thing was my fault.
I knew realistically it wasn't, but if I had never suggested that she moved to Vancouver, she never would of met Brad, he never would of hit her that one time, and he never would of cheated on her. I groaned and tossed over to my other side. I knew Brooke would yell at me if she knew I was beating myself up over this, but how else was I suppose to feel?
There was no way in hell I was letting her leave here. I know she thought I was just going to let her stay here until she found a new place to live, but that wasn't what I was going to let happen. I couldn't see her going through all of that again.
I was ripped from my thoughts, hearing something through the wall. I sat up quickly and grabbed the remote, turning the volume all the way off, not that it was really on much to begin with. I listened closely, not hearing anything for a little bit. Maybe it had just been in the movie, but then I heard it again. It was a faint crying noise.
My heart immediately dropped, realizing that Brooke was crying. I sat there, leaning against the headboard not exactly sure what to do. I knew Brooke long enough to know that while I'm one of the only people she will cry in front of, she had been holding herself together the best she could around all of us. After that morning in the hotel room she didn't want to ruin anyone's time, or make anyone feel bad for her.
I sighed, rubbing my hand over my face and leaned my head back against the wall while I contemplated if I should go in there or not.
(Brooke's POV)
I sniffled, pulling back from having my face in Coolie's fur so I could wipe my cheeks. Coolie sat up, licked my face, and then hopped off the bed and nosed the door open. I sighed and pulled the spare pillow up to my chest and hid my face in that. I didn't blame him for leaving I wouldn't want to be here either while I cried all night.
I looked up, eyes puffy and blurry from the tears that kept streaming down my face. It had been another half hour since I last looked. I tried to steady my breathing but it just came in another wave as I forced my face into the pillow and tried to not cry out loud.
(Brock's POV)
My eyes opened as I heard my door moving. I didn't see Brooke standing there, my eyes traveling down to see that Coolie had opened my door.
"Bud, you're suppose to be keeping Brooke company," I whispered.
Coolie made his way over to the bed, jumping up half way so his front paws were on the bed. He pushed his nose against me and jumped back down, walking out of the door. I got up and walked to the door, looking down the hall and seeing that he was sitting outside of Brooke's door.
I smiled a bit, knowing that he was trying to get me to go in and see her. I walked down the hall, stopping a moment to pet him on the head.
"You're right bud I should go in there," I leaned down and kissed his head.
Coolie laid down in the hallway as I quietly walked into the room. I looked at the bed, my face falling as I could see her form shaking from crying but trying to be quiet about it. I made my way over to the bed and sat down behind her, moving the blanket out of the way before I crawled in behind her, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her close to me.
(Brooke's POV)
I jumped a bit when I felt an arm slip around me, figuring that the movement I had felt behind me was Coolie. I turned over a bit, looking over my shoulder and seeing that Brock was behind me and pulling me closer to him.
"Shh its okay," he whispered, wiping my cheeks.
I shook my head and turned so that I was facing him and pressed my face against his chest. I could feel his hand rubbing up and down my back as he made soft soothing noises above me. My breathing slowly started to even out as the crying faded away.
"You're okay," Brock whispered as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "I wont let anything bad happen to you again I promise," he said softly.
I finally had calmed my breathing, my body now exhausted from the emotions pouring out of me. I nuzzled closer to Brock and closed my eyes, fully expecting the scene to be replaying in my mind again, but there was nothing. It was okay this time. I relaxed into Brock and held onto him as I finally slowly fell asleep.
66 notes · View notes
avpdpunpun · 5 years
Text
i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?
its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.
sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 
after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo
after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.
at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.
i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 
in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.
so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.
it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.
all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!
a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 
i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 
but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.
but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.
i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see
i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!
i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!
7 notes · View notes
neopuff · 6 years
Note
I wanna know what happened to your boss who stole your identity... if you feel like sharing you should make posts about it
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i cant believe i woke up to over 20,000 notes on that fweiougbwe;goew OK HERE im gonna do this like a reddit relationships thread:
players are: B (boss/thief 27F), C1 (coworker 59F), C2 (coworker 40sF), and me (24F). not a lot.
i worked with B and C1 at Claire’s for well over a year. they knew i had money and yeah i’d let them borrow money to help pay their rent/car payments/etc and C1 always paid me back within a month but B always was like “ill pay you back soon” which was like ok its fine dont stress just…we have an ongoing relationship so i foolishly doubted she was going to steal from me right in front of my face lol
then B quits Claire’s and starts working at Express, promises me a great job at Express to the point where i’ve applied and filled out paperwork (yknow with my drivers license and my SSN) but that job never happened cuz B quit working there. (this is when B opened her first credit card using my information, for Express! which is a crazy expensive clothing store.)
B gets a job at Sally Beauty and tells me i should come work there (this is in july). well, i’m in grad school and i wasn’t going to work for the month of August cuz of friends coming to visit but i was like sure ill work extremely part-time at a store for hair and makeup since i know literally nothing about hair and makeup. C1 was also asked to come work there since the Claire’s we all used to work at was shut down (bankruptcy lol)
things are going fine for a while, C2 is working at Sally’s now too (she’s B’s aunt and they live together.) in September my parents bought a new house 5 and a half hours away and they ask me to house-sit until they move in, so obviously im gonna do that, so i give my two weeks (i gave more like a month but w/e) and on the day before i leave B calls me and says the reason i havent been getting paid by direct deposit is because they never got my drivers license photo. i say thats weird, did they lose it? and she says they mustve so i send her a pic of my license. cuz obviously i wont be in town to pick up my check so i need direct deposit.
ok so fast forward to this monday, C1 calls me and it starts off normal like “hi how are you howve you been” and then shes suddenly like “i have something important to tell you.” and she says C2 saw mail at her and B’s house with my name on it! C2 was complaining about it at work and C1 was like “wtf?” and thought that was suspicious and told me about it. shes like “make a creditkarma account and you can see any credit cards under your SSN”
i go to make a creditkarma account and weirdly enough theres already one under my SSN! and the email is literally [B’s last name][B’s first name]@outlook.com. she wasnt even being subtle or smart. she really thought i’d just never look or wouldnt care???? i dont KNOW.
so obviously i call all the credit report places and im like freeze everything and put fraud alerts on everything!! and i blocked B’s phone number and i blocked her on facebook cuz even if she had an explanation i genuinely wouldnt care at this point
i went to another credit report site for the details and B not only took out a $5000 loan (she bought a new car recently so probably for that), but she opened 7 other credit cards and applied for 25 others. she started this the DAY i left! theyre mostly credit cards for banks but theres the express card, a target card, a disney card????????? also B put her actual phone number and address into the system so theres no doubt that its her.
and then C1 calls me again to tell me that B quit her job at Sally Beauty less than an hour ago and im wondering if she knew i knew or coincidence? since B steals from companies she usually only works at each one for a few months each
so ok, tuesday morning i call the police and then i have to call every single bank and credit union to cancel these stupid fucking cards. i was on the phone for 6 hours (wouldve been longer but i had my online class) just repeating the same info over and over again. and then the police call me back like “so we just spoke to B, she played dumb for a bit but then confessed to everything” and that was a HUGE relief except that i still have 12 more card applications to cancel. cop said “she didnt really have an explanation other than she’d fallen on hard times” and i just…….dont care especially when she quits every job shes store manager of after less than a year. and yea she has two kids and a bum husband and a supportive close family
and it’s now wednesday afternoon cuz i slept thru the morning but i have to call all these other places AND i’m gonna have to drive 5 and a half hours back to my hometown for court sometime in the next two weeks. plus i have to fill out like 30 affidavits for all these banks and credit unions and give them the police report so they know im not lying
also my credit score has gone down significantly because of that Express card she got in March (she’d been doing minimum payments allowed so i wouldnt get notified despite racking up $475 at this one ugly store)
in less than a month she opened $20,000 worth of credit and spent $8400 of it. and since she just QUIT her job i can assume she wasnt planning on paying off any of that debt lol
anyway that’s where i’m at now, i dont know if shes going to jail or what. she sure as hell cant pay any fines. PLUS she already owed me $450 and i was gonna cut her some slack on it but now i want my $450 back lmao
432 notes · View notes
seoulscenarios · 6 years
Text
College AU! Seo Changbin
Sorry this one is out a little later than usual, but my laptop died and wouldn’t turn on so i couldn’t post it T__T but it’s here now. thank you for all your love and support for this series <3
-Major: Music (Vocal) and Composition
-Minor: business studies
-Sports: none,,, he likes sports but not enough to join in when he could be sleeping or writing music
-Clubs: contrary to his sharp image he could be seen frequenting the art department and literature department when the drawing club and poetry club held their meetings. He really liked drawing, deciding that if a music career was out of the question he could really say a big screw you to his parents and become a tattoo artist lmao. He didn’t go to the poetry club as much as he did the drawing club, he went to get inspiration for lyrics and new metaphors n stuff
-So Changbin a vocal major you say???
-Yes he did enjoy singing, he definitely wouldn’t say he was as good as the other students who were professionally trained from a young age but he had his own vocal colour
-Changbin did truly enjoy his course but he wasn’t,,,, passionate about it
-Unlike everyone else on the course who wanted to be singers or train people to sing,,, he just didn’t have that same mentality
-Which is why he chose to do composition as a way to do what he really liked
-Bc Changbin was a rapper
-And was part of the underground rap trio of 3RACHA with 3rd year Chan and fellow 2nd year Jisung
-They were extremely popular on campus,, it’s just a shame his vocal professors thought otherwise when he came in with a sore throat the next day to class
-They frowned upon rap, saying it wasn’t a viable option for Changbin to perform a rap piece about societal issues and that he NEEDED to sing in order to pass the module which needless to say,,, ended with him writing a few more rap tracks where he dissed the school system lmao (these ended up a HIT with the student body and Changbin frequently heard other students listening or quoting the lyrics which made him immensely proud uwu)
-One time he had to redo a module bc he rapped instead of sang at a recital, despite showing his teacher the song he was going to do and he even performed at rehearsal
-He just said screw it on the actual night and changed the track lmao
-Whilst it went down a storm with the students and his friends in the audience, his professors, examiners and the rest of the audience were extremely shocked and unimpressed
-His professor wanted to fail him but said he had too much potential as an artist that he made Changbin perform again in front of the department in order to give him a grade
-Okay so whilst Changbin did like to screw with his department a few times bc they were never lenient towards his ideas about rapping he did genuinely like his course and it meant he could pursue music, albeit different from what he wanted to do
-It was his minor that really gave him trouble
-You see,, he really hated business with a passion like he wanted to burn all his business textbooks n scream in front of the department building
-But he couldn’t bc it was the only reason he was allowed to study music at university
-His parents really did not approve of his career choice, citing how unreliable and unstable it was for the future you know the general consensus a lot of parents have about going into the arts instead of something safe like economics or bsiness or law
-It took countless months of arguing and persuading his parents that he didn’t want to do anything but music that the conceded only IF he picked up business as his minor
-Like,,, don’t get me wrong he could see where his parents were coming from but at the same time,,,, Changbin has such passion for the music world that he couldn’t see himself anywhere but a recording studio writing songs and lyrics, maybe even performing them himself
-He finally wore his parents down by showing them the feedback from his teachers in high school and online where he posted some of his self made tracks that they conceded
-But the business aspect of his course
-Made him want to die :)
-Changbin most certainly did not care for monopolies or business strategies that helped to improve profit margins for a corporate business
-This was exactly what Changbin hated and wrote songs about how it destroyed society but u know,,, it’s fine really
-Until he has to write three 2000 word essays on some business bullshit that he realises just how much he hates business
-Changbin was scarcely passing his business modules, praying to get at least 40% so he could pass instead of having to redo any of the work lmao (if that’s not me @ my modules)
-You could always see him when it was coming up to his deadlines at the library with Woojin cooing over him soothingly, as Changbin was trying NOT to cry about how much he hated business
-If Minho was studying there as well he would buy Changbin stress coffee and they would both sit there complaining about how awful deadlines were lmao
-Though,,,, Changbin was much better at handling the stress than Minho who just downed coffee after coffee
-Changbin just had a idc attitude when it came to his business stuff, saying if he failed it’s not much of a loss bc my parents think I’m wasting my time anyway (oof this hits a little close to home I wont lie)
-But anyway, Woojin would always help him revise for his business exams and would test him on case studies n vocabulary he needed to learn so he never went into them completely clueless
-Once,,, he literally ran to Woojin’s dorm after he got 68% on a business exam and he promised to buy Woojin all the chicken in the world for helping him
-Now, now that’s a tad excessive don’t you think?
-Hyung, I owe you my LIFE
-Changbin NO, just treat me to dinner once and consider it done
-Wow we don’t deserve Woojin
-Speaking of dorms,,,, Changbin rented out an apartment with Hyunjin and Seungmin and well,,,, their apartment was messy as hell
-Okay so first of all,,, they all studied different courses so their lounge area was just a mess of lyrics sheets, bits of fabric and law books strewn all over the place
-Law books served as coasters for left over coffee mugs and more often than not you could always find bits of scrap fabric in them if they’d be left out for too long lmao
-The three of them make Sunday cleaning day bc otherwise,,, well they’re apartment might become inhabitable
-So,,,, back to the plot
-You knew Changbin though it had been a while (read: middle school) since you had last seen him
-One could even say you were really close friends until you had to move away due to your fathers’ job and when u told baby Changbin this,,,, he cried and refused to speak to you and when he finally got round to the fact you were leaving,,,, you had already moved and even though you posted him a letter he didn’t read it out of spite (though he still had the letter uwu,, not that he would let anyone know)
-But ever since you moved away, you never got as close to anyone as you did with Changbin all those years ago and your heart ached a little every time you thought of your childhood friend
-However, you were grown up now and whilst you still got tinges of sadness you were over it and tried your best at your entrance exams so you could get into a good college
-You decided to major in psychology bc you really enjoyed the analysis of people and how the brain worked
-However,,, the uni you went to kinda sucked and you weren’t progressing as much as you thought you would be which made you,,, very frustrated
-So you began to look into other colleges and you contacted one that seemed to have an extremely high satisfaction and employment rate
-When you told your parents that you decided to move college they were apprehensive but when you explained why they did support you
-They were even more supportive bc it was the college that their friends’ son goes to and oh maybe they get in contact with them so their son could show you round campus
-Before you could protest they were on the phone setting up the arrangement
-So when your second year of college rolled round you found yourself at a new college and a new dorm with your stuff in boxes
-Your parents helped you move most of the stuff in but they had to leave early due to a business meeting (lol wasn’t that just ur life though)
-Without so much as a “goodbye sweetie let us know how it all goes” and a hasty kiss to the cheek they left you in the dust with 3 heavy boxes full of stuff you had to move in by yourself
-You sighed, heaving the boxes on top of each other praying that someone would see your struggles
-Luck was on your side that day it would seem
-As you struggled to pick up the three heavy boxes, you felt the weight lighten immensely and a voice piped up
-“You look like you need help, what room are you in?”
-“Uhh, 203”
-“Sweet let’s go”
-Something about the boy seemed familiar but you couldn’t quite place it as you followed him up the stairs to your dorm room
-Once you reached the door you told the boy it was fine and you could take it from here but he insisted on taking the boxes through for you
-Sighing, you fished the keys out of your pocket and unlocked the door, whilst simultaneously apologising for the mess ur room was in
-The boy just laughed, placing the boxes in an empty space as he observed the piles of textbooks and clothes thrown around your room and you froze
-You recognised that laugh
-Your eyes followed him as he took an innocent look around the stuff on your desk, watching him pick up a textbook and flipping through it
-Something seemed to have caught his attention, right at the front of the book and he turned round to look at you scrutinising your face
-“C-changbin?”
-“Y/N?”
-The two of you stared at each other, eyes wandering around the now unfamiliar curves and contours of your faces
-“My parents told me that you were transferring but I didn’t think I would actually see you so soon” changbin said warily, hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck
-“Oh, um, yeah bad college for first year thought I’d try my luck some place different” you replied awkwardly, placing the box you were still holding onto the floor
-“Well,, it’s been a while”
-“Hmmm”
-The room lapsed into an awkward silence and Changbin traced the name in the textbook he was holding, in disbelief that he had finally found his childhood best friend again
-You, on the other hand, couldn’t believe how well Changbin had grown up
-Like he wasn’t a chubby kid but he had truly grown up,,, and well u felt ur throat well up in sadness at the fact you weren’t by his side as he grew up
-“I have to go back,,, it was nice seeing you again Y/N and I’ll catch you round?” changbin’s voice cut through your thoughts and you just nodded, not trusting your voice at that moment
-Of all the days to encounter to your old best friend, it just had to be on your first day at your new college you thought bitterly, glaring at the mess all around you before sighing, knowing it was no use being bitter about it before starting the lengthy process of unpacking
-Changbin, however, as soon as he got back to his apartment began to refile through trying to find the letter you had left him all of those years ago
-Hyunjin and Seungmin heard all the noise and decided to investigate
-Nothing could prepare them for the sight of Changbin with tears marking his face and a slip of paper with childish handwriting on, surrounded by hundreds of other sheets
-They just glanced at each other before leaving the doorway, deciding to confront him about it later
-Changbin didn’t notice his two flatmates, too busy tracing your childish scrawl
-“Binnie!! I know you are angry at me for leaving but I can’t help it. Dad got a new job T__T. I wish I could stay with you. If you are reading this, it means I already left. Ahh, what to do I’m crying. Please write to me Binnie, I wrote my new address on another piece of paper! Love your best friend, Y/N xxxxxxx”
-He reached into the envelope, pulling out another piece of paper where you had written your address as neatly as you could,,, obviously you had gone through much pain to get it as neat as possible so he could read it
-His heart began to ache, knowing that he had the means to contact you all those years ago but he had been an angry child
-Changbin wiped the tears from his face before putting the two pieces of paper back in the envelope and placing it delicately on his desk next to his lyrics book
-He sat on the floor, contemplating his options
-Like on the one hand, he wanted to really talk to you and get his best friend back but on the other hand, he was unsure if you wanted to or whether you had really moved on
-Throwing caution to the wind, he decided that he would try and talk to you again
-I mean he knew where you lived,,, he wondered if you still liked strawberry milk and jellies
-The next day you were surprised to see Changbin at your door holding a carton of strawberry milk and a packet of jellies
-You let him, secretly glad that he came to see you after your awkward encounter yesterday
-“I realised yesterday I was a complete ass, and I guess I was all those years ago for not opening your letter and realising that we still could’ve been friends if I just opened it” he said, standing awkwardly at your desk whilst you sat on the bed
-You laughed at how sad he looked, patting the space next to you gesturing for him to sit there
-His eyes widened before perching right on the edge of the bed,,,, you laughed again and just slapped his arm
-“It’s okay Changbin! Fresh start, we’re both ‘adults’ now so no hard feelings. Tell me about yourself and I’ll tell you what happened to me”
-For the next few hours, you found at everything about Changbin
-From how much he hated business to his new friends, all the way to the fact he was part of an underground rap trio with two of his other friends
-You were impressed, you knew Changbin liked to write lyrics from a young age and you were so proud he honed in on that passion to pursue a career in it
-Changbin listened raptly as you told him all about how much you suffered through high school, feeling like you didn’t have your life planned out like everyone else did and how you ended up taking psychology bc you enjoyed watching people and wanted to know more about how humans worked on a psychological level
-Without realising, the two of you fell back into your old rhythm like nothing hadn’t happened in the years you had been apart
-It had turned dark by the time you and Changbin had finished catching up with each other
-Changbin’s eyes widened as he checked his phone, both at the time and the hundreds of notifications he had gotten from all his friends including a concerned Felix (which NEVER happened)
-“Oh my god I really need to go before my friends send out a search party and they think I’m finally dead”
-“It’s fine! I didn’t think we had been talking for so long” you laughed at him, pushing him off the bed and towards the door
-Changbin’s hand was on the handle before he whipped back around so quickly you were worried for a hot second
-“I need your number. I won’t let myself screw this friendship over again” he handed you his phone and you felt your heart get all warm at the sentiment
-You put your number into his phone, with the contact name of “best friend, again” which Changbin smiled at before pulling you into a hug and running out of the door
-You smiled softly at his retreating figure, shutting the door and laying on your bed
-You hadn’t felt this happy in a long while, you finally had your best friend back
-Changbin on the other hand, got back to his apartment full of his 8 friends who all demanded to know where he had been without a single word to any of them for the past 11 hours which was very unlike him
-“Wait,,,, what’s with that look on your face?” hyunjin inquired, leaning forward to study changbin’s face
-“What look?” he asked confusedly
-“You never look this happy unless Felix is hugging you or you finished a particularly diss full track towards your professors or the government hyung” jeongin answered innocently, nestling further into Chan’s arms
-Felix looked particularly smug at this fact, but he too wanted to know what caused his hyung to go AWOL for hours
-“I,,,, met an old friend and we were catching up and lost track of time” Changbin shrugged
-“Hyung…. You never look this happy when meeting old friends? They must be special to you” Felix said, studying Changbin’s face closely and he was surprised to see his ears reddening slightly
-“Um,,,, you could say that we were best friends when we were kids”
-“hmmmmm”
-“……….”
-Suddenly Seungmin’s face cracked into a huge smile, piecing the puzzle together
-“Changbin hyung,,,, is the same best friend that, when drunk last year, told me that you were angry that they left you alone at school when they moved away”
-“………..”
-“The one you had a crush on?”
-“O K A Y PUNK LISTEN HERE-“
-Whatever Changbin was going to say,,, we will never know as Woojin threw a hand over changbin’s mouth before he could cuss out seungmin who was sat there smugly
-Changbin sighed against Woojin’s hand and slumped back
-Woojin released his hand warily, signalling for Changbin to explain
-“Yes this is that friend, their name is Y/N”
-The boys all smiled, knowing that you meant a lot to changbin and had been the subject of many of Changbin’s songs
-ANYWAY
-You and changbin quickly rekindled the flames of your friendship extremely quickly despite college starting, you always managed to find time to meet up
-Heck, you even found yourself joining him in the recording studio some nights helping Changbin with lyrics or just giving him some company
-The boys had taken an immense liking to you and quickly adopted you as the 10th member of their squad
-You were even a priority member of the underground club 3RACHA frequented at, much to the chagrin of the many fangirls who had been on the guestlist since last year
-Perks of being childhood friends with one of the members
-It’s here where you see Changbin in his true element
-You saw all his passion and rawness for the issues he spoke up for present themselves in such a beautiful and hard hitting way
-You couldn’t help but cry at one of the tracks he performed with Jisung about the effect bullying could have on students in school
-Changbin pulled you into a hug after the performance had ended, apologising for making you cry during the gig (the other boys began waggling their eyebrows at him suggestively and he had to physically restrain himself from throwing cusses at them, choosing to glare at them whilst hugging you)
-Over the next few weeks you couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you began to look at Changbin differently than you did
-Sure,,, as a kid you admit you did have a crush on him but then don’t most kids crush on their best friends?
-But this,,, was more than a sweet puppy love
-You began to notice the little things at first, the way his eyes would widen when he had a spark of inspiration, the way his eyebrows would furrow when he tried to study for business and then the bigger things began to form with how he always had an arm slung around your shoulders when you walked across campus or when you had a bad day he would turn up at your dorm with hugs and a carton of strawberry milk
-You fell in love with him naturally, like it was almost fate
-Little did you know, Changbin too felt this way as well
-He noticed everything you did, how you fiddled with your sleeves when you were nervous about something, the way your eyes crinkled as you laughed at a story Felix was telling you or the way you clung to him when you watched a horror film with the boys at Jisung and Jeongin’s dorm
-He began to write songs about you, and decided that this was the only way he could confess confidently
-Every moment he spent with you he wouldn’t exchange it for the world
-Besides, the whole campus seemed to think you were dating anyway
-It was the end of first semester and 3RACHA were holding another gig to celebrate and naturally you had to go hype up your best friend and celebrate your psych essays being over
-Unbeknownst to you, Changbin was going to perform the song he had written for you that night in a hope that you would understand how he felt about you
-As the lights came up, you couldn’t help but be in awe at how beautiful Changbin was in that moment
-As the gig progressed, both Chan and Jisung had performed solo tracks and you knew that Changbin had to be performing one as well
-Just then, a spotlight appeared and your attention was captured immediately as Changbin began to rap about a close friend and how they changed his entire life for the better
-You frowned slightly, trying to figure out who it was
-Felix maybe? He does like Felix a lot
-Towards the end of the song the lyrics seemed familiar and you realised,,, it was the lyrics you had helped with all those weeks ago
-Your eyes widened as they met Changbin’s dark eyes, and moved closer to you table much to the delight of the boys
-As the song reached the end, Changbin was stood in front of you and reached out to cup your face gently
-You leaned into his touch, looking up at him with hooded eyes
-Without much prompt, Changbin leaned down and kissed you gently causing everyone in the room to holler and wolf whistle
-You break apart from him, a grin spreading across your lips and the thought of Changbin’s lips on yours as he goes to finish the rest of the gig
-DATING CHANGBIN:
-After that day, you and changbin became an official item much to the surprise of practically everyone on campus who thought you were dating already ooops
-Dude least we can stop hearing you pine about how perfect Y/N is
-Oh that’s what you think,,,, now I can torture you about how much I freaking love them
-hyUNG NO PLEASE NO
-Dating Changbin was very much just being best friends, with more skinship
-Bc Changbin LOVED skinship
-He always had an arm around your shoulder or holding your hand as you walked anyway and when you were talking to people he always had you in a back hug,,, which made it uncomfortable for the other person at times esp if they didn’t know changbin
-I mean he looked scary and you were completely unfazed that he was hugging you as you were chatting about some psychology case study you were both studying for Prof Kim’s class
-nOT that Changbin was a jealous or possessive boyfriend, as some were inclined to think, he just a RBF and liked to hug you whenever you were together
-You certainly didn’t have a problem with it, leaning into his touch whenever his arms were around you
-Though he did get a little jealous sometimes when people at bars tried to flirt with you even when he was RIGHT THERE and had his arm around your waist
-He was just more frustrated at the fact the other person couldn’t get a hint so 9 times out 10 he ended up pulling you in for a kiss before pulling away to smile smugly at the other person
-They soon got the hint and stopped trying to hit on you
-You just laughed, leaning in him to kiss again before dragging him home before he got jealous again
-You woke up the next day with Changbin tracing his fingers lightly against your hips and thighs, making random patterns whilst softly smiling at you
-This was your favourite way to wake up tbh, like it was so soft and so utterly intimate that you craved his touch even more
-When the two of you turned up late to a meeting with the boys they just shook their heads at changbin’s messy hair and your slightly swollen lips
-Most of your guys day was spent in the recording studio or music practice room as changbin was writing songs or practice for an upcoming performance for his course, you were there with your psychology textbooks feet in his lap if he was sat at the mixing desk or sat on the floor in the practice room
-The two of you spent hours there, working in relative silence just happy to be in each others presence as you prepared for your upcoming projects and stuff
-Sometimes you helped him with his lyrics if he was struggling with wording a certain phrase or he wanted your opinion on a particular beat
-You also helped him revise for business, which you knew he hated but you wanted him to do well so sometimes you had to bribe him
-Changbin for every right answer ill give you a kiss
-roGER THAT
-The helping out was mutual as changbin too assisted you when you needed
-He could often be seen in the library or campus café holding your flashcards and notes, quizzing you about psychology case studies and terminology for your upcoming exams
-Changbin also liked to reward you with kisses every time you got an answer right,,,, though sometimes he was feeling childish and purposely said that you got an answer right when u hadn’t just so he could kiss you more lmao
-Changbin you know you don’t need a reason to kiss me…. You’re literally my boyfriend??
-Yeah but reward kisses are good!!!
-Not when you purposely lie to me so you can get kisses!
-How did you know I was lying?????
-Babe,,, I’m literally a psychology student I KNOW when you lie. And we’ve been friends since middle school so I’ve seen you lie for a good long while. Also,,,, I purposely got this answer wrong to see what you did lmao
-BABE WHAT THE HECK WHY???
-You’re too cute sometimes
-ANYWAY
-You and Changbin are the type of couple to wear couple clothes without realising it
-Like,,,, you would both be wearing oversized black hoodies and black beanies when you go for bbq with the boys one day and Felix was like,,,,, u planned this and ur both like ???? planned what????
-Speaking of hoodies,,, and clothes in general
-Changbin leaves his stuff at yours a lot in the hopes that you wear it one day,,, esp his shirts and hoodies bc he is that kind of boy that loves this kind of stuff then gets all blushy when you do
-Like when you turned up to a date one day wearing his favourite hoodie he MELTED at how cute you looked
-For your 6th month anniversary,,, you decided to get official couple stuff but like,,,, u didn’t want a ring
-You settled on getting a couple earring,,, which was adorable and Felix literally screamed when he saw you both wearing it one day
-Also,,,, at first you didn’t know that Changbin liked to draw until you find his sketches on the desk in his room where he hastily put them last night after drawing club
-You were looking through them when he turned up with a bag of takeout and he began to blush
-BABE these are really good!?!”$”
-They’re really not though!!
-Yes they are wow what can’t you do
-Business studies
-Oh you’re right there
-He told you that night that he wanted to be a tattoo artist if the music career didn’t work out and you clapped your hands in glee
-I mean you always wanted a tattoo so what better way than get your boyfriend to design one for you
-He protested this at first, claiming he wasn’t a great artist that warranted you to have something of him tattooed permanently to your body
-You, however, managed to convince him to design something small that you BOTH could get
-Screw couple rings, you guys went straight for the couple tattoo ;)
-Safe to say when the boys found out they all screamed, Felix sobbed in the corner whilst woochan hugged each other claiming that their kids grow up so fast
-When you finally got them done you couldn’t help but run your fingers over it every day,,, and your fingers always found themselves finding Changbin’s and running your fingers over it softly
-Ugh it was so soft and Hyunjin’s eyes rolled whenever he saw the two of you laying on the sofa hands running over each others tattoos and kissing each other softly
-Baso,,, u and changbin were just best friends who fell in love
-Slowly,, then all at once
-And you wouldn’t change it for the world
again,,, thank you for giving this series so much love it means the world to us!!!
254 notes · View notes
neo-shitty · 3 years
Note
toffee!
ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.
youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?
lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely
suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside
ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then
THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?
also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well
<3 w.a. 🐺
answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH
oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.
hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.
i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.
WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.
for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.
cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D
thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s
domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.
ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.
the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.
sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?
silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.
secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +
STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,
red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O
surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?
gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.
wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.
and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN
0 notes
irregulardiaryposts · 3 years
Text
00:53 21/06/2021
Hello again <3
so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.
i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.
so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.
i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.
so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.
anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.
i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.
i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.
god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.
20:21 30/06/2021
MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V
MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY
so
23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.
um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.
my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.
so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.
the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!
0 notes
marvelbuilt · 6 years
Text
you guys are going to think im a hoe but im gonna list the potential boys in my life. also just like so you dont think im really slutty?? i have never gone the entire way with any of these dates.
andrew - my ex lmao. okay so this is like lowkey never gonna happen but we still see each other and talk and like we have a kitten together so like it’s having a kid lite so we still see each other and the boy he left me for in january after 2 years, broke up with him in a month and we hug and they’re lingering hugs? but again like prolly never gonna happen bc he’s a DISASTER and hooks up with everyone.
dylan - okay lowkey this kid would have probably been my first choice? we started talking and kind of stopped for some reason and then i saw him on grindr when i was home bc he lives closer to my hometown than my school but anyways we’re both like relationship oriented and like our first date went so well?? like he had told me prior to coming that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and i was like okay well i mean im probably not either bc it was kind of like a month or two after andrew but he BOUGHT ME FLOWERS??? and i cooked him dinner and we like cuddled and made out and stuff and it was so nice. he’s part of that school that did 13 reasons why not and he like goes to suicide prevention conferences and he’s going to be going to a different university than me but it’s like technically better than mine and he’s so smart?? and our second date was good as well and idk? i like him so much and we snapchat everyday. but he stopped calling me cutie? and i still call him that and sometimes he calls me “b” but iDEK like i think he’s probably talking to other boys or something and he always avoids when i ask if we can hangout again but hes always working now so idk.
andrew - okay this is another andrew and he lives in the town next to mine and he works at the capital of my state and he like studied political science and our politics are very similar and we are just similar in general. his parents are trump supporters so that’s yikes. also he’s not out to his family at all WONDER WHY and he’s very?? like he plays soccer ALL THE TIME. anyways aside from that, our personalities are very similar and we hung out like 4 times in a row and idk? he’s kinda cheap ngl, but i can’t blame him too much bc we are young still. but anyways all the dates went well and it seemed like we were really into each other. then i had finals so i was like yo i cant hang out until theyre over. and then the week after, i got sick so i didnt want to hang out and then like he was playing soccer all the time? and then he got sick? and now like? ugh he’s the worst texter and i texted him and asked him i did something wrong or anything and he was like no of course not im just busy and soccer and then he did say anything else? like jfc i dont want to do all the chasing so i just havent texted him in like a week or 2 and so i dont even know? like everything was fine but he’s such a boy when it comes to texting i fucking cant
patrick - okay this kid omfg probably never going to happen but i just want to talk about it. so this kid is in my program at school and so we started talking bc grindr and we matched on tinder and he’s cute and really smart. so anyways, the weird thing was that i literally never met the kid and he’s in the same residential college as me and like we’re in the same grade? so ODD right? well anyways i tried to schedule a date about 800 fucking times and he cancelled so many times omfg. like constantly cancelling. and he was really sweet to me and stuff over messaging. so school FINALLY ends and im like okay maybe NOW we can have a date. he cancelled a couple more times and FINALLY he’s like okay sure. so he picked me up from work, which was lowkey nice, but then we went to starbucks and he like?? spent most of the date not understanding why anyone would major in my major and how international relations and arabic are the most important majors and how he’s going to get such a good job and like he doesn’t understand why some things need to be equal and he’s like “ive never voted republican but” and im just like jfc i cant handle you insulting my major. but outside of my major, he was nice enough i guess? he’s hot so there’s that but he then just dropped me off and now he’s in jordan until like august and he’s like “yeah i’ll hit you up when i get back so we can hang out again” LIKE LMAO DONT FUCKING LIE. and he like didn’t respond to my message about adding him on social media after the date so lol this kid is like whatever
skyler - okay skyler was the date i had last night and i just met him last night? and omfg i dont think ive ever met someone more different from me that was still gay? okay so this kid is my age, but he goes to the community college, so i hadn’t met him until just recently. so he’s like? nice af. he’s half-mexican, half-white (this comes into play later) and from a small town. but omfg, we got lots to discuss. so he openly considers himself conservative. said that “if i could choose to be straight, i would be”, said quote “i dont believe in pride parades and i dont fuck with blm” AND IM STRAIGHT CRINGEING and like? i presented my arguments in a civil manner im so proud of myself for not popping off but like he listened and everything but i dont think i changed his mind at all because lol the hardest thing to do ever. anyways, super sweet to me, and very relationship oriented. he gave me a hickey last night whoops luckily it’s on my collarbone so people wont see it. but anyways im really worried that he’s moving too fast at this point? and he like is SO different like he called himself “a manly gay” and im just like fuck off honestly bc that’s so not me and THATS OKAY TO NOT BE A MANLY GAY. and he said he agreed. some of my friends think that maybe i can “educate him” or change his mind. but idk guys this might just be a little too different and im really worried that he mightve voted trump or something and im sorry but i let shit like that ruin relationships bc politics?? it’s my world and i just cant handle people who dont study what i study telling me im wrong about stuff i study? and like if you’re a half-mexican gay man idk how you can be conservative but go off sis be a tree for deforestation. but anyways NOW HE’S TEXTING ME ABOUT A SECOND DATE AND ASKED IF I WOULD GO TO A CLUB? WHICH IS SO NOT MY SCENE. ugh he’s super sweet to me personally but i just think we might just be too different.
SO BASICALLY BOYS ARE JUST SO FUCKED AND I AM JUST LIKE WHAT DO I DO HONESTLY LIKE THE BOYS I LIKE? DONT LIKE ME OR ARE FLAKY AF OR THEY’RE SO DIFFERENT COMPARED TO ME AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW DIFFERENT I CAN HANDLE PLEASE HELP ME
also i know someones gonna be like “YOU AINT NEED NO MAN” you’re right karen i dont but dating is lowkey fun but now im just conflicted about all of these things i could scream. like i am just getting back out there and seeing where things go and i really dont see what’s wrong with that
1 note · View note
drashleighreid · 5 years
Note
Hello. May I ask how the weed guy problem panned out? Hope everything went alright for you. You ain’t deserve a single second of anguish because a lousy roomie decided to dispose of common spaces without previous notice. That’s a Law :)
omg yeah, the Tea TM. this became more vent-y than i intended oops 
my landlords/my roommates parents were really upset about the whole thing and really apologetic to me. they organised a locksmith to come and change the locks so that happened yesterday lmao. so at least i know for the next 3 weeks there wont be random people just in my house when i get home 
i sent a really long message to my roommate telling them how uncomfortable and annoyed i was and their response was really lackluster tbh, i can tell they were just apologising because their parents got on them about it. they were being lowkey shady and saying i was making THEM uncomfortable because they could tell i was bothered by them?? and made them feel like they could NEVER have people over and that i was annoyed because they come home from WORK late. 
like ?? im sorry what lmfao your only issue with me is that i stopped wanting to hang out with you because you’ve been a rude cunt whereas my problems are like... people youve had over have drawn all over my art homework (that took me HOURS) in fine liner ink, you’ve lost your keys multiple times and have woken me up at three in the morning banging on the door to let you in, you’ve dropped glass and not cleaned it up MULTIPLE times and ive stood on it MULTIPLE times, you’ve continually smoked out the apartment with weed after i’ve told you it bothers me... the people youve had over have used my things - my towel, my bath products, you dont clean AND actively make heinous messes and leave it (i went away for about 3-4 weeks over the break and the first thing i had to do when i got back was clean v*mit from the toilet lmao - and similarly i went away for about 4 months over the christmas break and when i got back the apartment was a complete mess and not 4 days after i got back my roommate was like can you chip in for a cleaner??? NAH??), you’ve stumbled into my room and fallen on the floor drunk off your ass at 4:30 in the morning and scared the shit out of me... like big HUH. but im sorry that i hurt your feelings by not wanting to hang out with you and the random people that you have over EVERY single night like :’( my bad im so awful. thats literally the only issue they could muster up abt me 
LMAO AND also trying to gaslight me and make me feel bad because they ?? feel bad for having people over which im not psychotic and dont expect them to never have people over.. (and they never stopped having people over if they had some concern that i was uncomfortable about it... so they obviously didnt care enough to stop)... i just dont want them over unexpectedly when youre on the other side of the world and im here alone and wasnt expecting someone to have a key and let themselves in???? and in the past few months its not that they just have people over sometimes. there was literally someone CONSTANTLY in the apartment to the point where we had a third rotating roommate who just like, wasnt chipping in for rent of bills or tp/soap/cleaning etc. like im allowed to be annoyed at that when i’m not consulted on things kljsf and of course im not mad that they work nights and get home late ?? im mad when they play music and sing and laugh in the shower at 1am right next to my bedroom when i have to be up at 7 for a morning class. like lkjsf the petty trivialising of my problems and trying to make me out to sound irrational is cracked.............
these are the only issues they could come up with for me because i dont do SHIT im quiet and i clean up after myself and they had NOTHING lmao. but theyre still just acting like im irrational for being upset that there was literally someone in the apartment and that theyd given out a key to people without telling me about it ?? ok ok ok i was supposed to be fine with that i guess and im the bitch for not shrinking myself down and being a doormat like i usually am in these situations lmfao 
ANYWAY like, long story short. its still fucked and people still get on my NERVES with their BS but at least i have the only key to get into the apartment right now and will have Peace for the next 3 weeks, and my landlords were entirely on my side. i just feel like ive done irreparable damage to my relationship with my roommate (which like, who cares at this point) and ill definitely have to move out really soon after they get back from OS which also coincides with when ill be going into full production mode for my film and wont even have time to breathe let alone move house and look for somewhere else to live so like.. its all fine here... we’re fine...
lmao thank u for checking in and for your support and validation, sorry i popped off and vented lkjsf. im supposed to be doing an assignment rn so im procrastinating by being mad at Peoples BS LOL
0 notes