#and in some ways this kind of fuckery can be more damaging
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one of the handy things being a word nerd/ex-debate kid taught me is that if you talk long enough and do enough fancy rhetorical backflips you can make a reasonably convincing argument for some absolutely ridiculous ideas, especially if your audience doesn’t have a level of baseline knowledge to lean back on
the reason this is handy because it also taught me that just because somebody sounds confident and seems informed doesn’t mean they aren’t cherrypicking data and thus, using the truth to lie their fucking faces off
#found this in my drafts looking for something else and i stand by it#there is Just Straight Up Lying and then there are damned statistics and all that#which can be used to so thoroughly skew the information being given it may as well be a straight up lie#and in some ways this kind of fuckery can be more damaging#saying “oh that’s just a lie” is easy for most people to understand if not always believe#saying “yeah so those facts are technically true but the presentation has rendered them meaningless” is harder for a lot of people
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DP x DC Prompt: "City of Ghosts"
Gotham is a part of the Infinite Realms.
It's a bit of a mythical place really. Ghosts don't go there, and Gotham ghosts don't venture out of their city haunt. Everyone in the Infinite Realms knows that Gotham is a lawless place. They avoid it like the plague. Skulker doesn't hunt there. Walker ignores all the violations of the rules and laws of the Infinite Realms that happen within city limits. Pariah Dark didn't touch that area with a ten-foot pole, in spite of being king of everything within the Infinite Realms. Even Dan hadn't bothered with that place in his own timeline, its inhabitants too twisted and feral for him to fight (he had scars from when he fought some fucked up guy with a shadowcore that somehow powered bright flaming swords bc what's the logic in that?). Gotham is its own brand of crazy not even the bravest and most power-hungry ghosts touched.
Unfortunately, nobody thought to tell Danny this.
Now, you can go so many ways with this. Danny could catch the attention by everyone's favourite serial adopter who sees a baby ghost in need of training and make him a ghost-bat. You can have shipping fics between Danny and any of the bats. You can have Gotham's insane rogues set their sights on the new halfa and enter Amity Park through the portal.
I'm a ho for Jason Todd and I love to ship him with just about anyone, so what if when Danny enters Gotham, he meets a ghost boy by the name Robin, who talks about reading books and protecting people and who saves Danny from a mob of feral city ghosts and is just generally really cute and oh shit, Danny might have a crush.
And then Robin's existence is wiped away by a crazy clown who tortures the boy and shatters his core into so many shards he fades away, and Danny believes the love of his life death is truly gone
Jason's resurrection would be fascinating to explore bc what kind of bullshit could damage a core so beyond repair and what cosmic fuckery actually pulls all those shards back together? (my shipping heart says "Danny accepting the crown caused a power surge and brought Jason back" for drama)
Or maybe Red Hood already exists, and you can pair him with Dan, do an enemies-to-lovers kinda fic, where they were at each other's throat in the initial timeline, but end up falling for each other in the second timeline
Or explore the first timeline and write a tragedy in which Jason has to watch how his partner gets more twisted and warped as time goes on and ends up becoming his enemy
Just Gotham as a ghost town. Literally.
(I may be hyperfixating on this a little at the moment)
#willow's writing prompts#city of ghosts#if anyone writes a “gotham is part of the infinite realms” fic pls post a link in the replies bc I wanna read it and leave a nice comment#dead on main#does jason/dan have a shipname?#bad blood#danny fenton#jason todd#dan phantom#dc x dp#red hood#phantom#dark danny#danny phantom
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you have eggza headcanons perhaps? 👉👈
I will take any headcanons of course, I love your headcanon posts
Previous Sets:
Set 1
Set 2
Set 3
Set 4
Set 5
Set 6
MORE: Eggza Edition
Starting with two I made in previous sets:
When left to his own devices & off-duty as dad + not needed by any of the islanders for something serious, he let's loose. No more wise bad bitch crow man who's palpably emotionally damaged yet won't admit it. He's off the shits. You've seen Eggza. That's him de-stressing by fully indulging his favorite things: preparing necessities for survival & being an absolute wildcard.
When he heard someone on the island made up a rumor that Eggza is legit because Phil taste-tested a cookie out of curiosity, he took that and RAN. Yeah. He's egg sometimes. Who's his parent you ask? Well that's a secret (it's Rose).
Remember how I said he commits to bits super hard? Yeah. Eggza is his second biggest bit after the 4th Wall existentialism but it's quickly surpassing it to his biggest one
Genuinely he enjoys his Eggza time. Everyone knows they'll get nothing but task help out of him more or less, so they more or less leave him alone unless it's to say hi or a chance encounter.
Everyone finds him speaking with signs funny and endearing. Except Tubbo. But that's understandable, dyslexia go brr. Even though the fool sometimes forgets he can tts the signs. It's fine, he's most likely to derail Eggza's cookie grinding so it's better if Tubbo stays away doing Tubbo things
He's torn between the kids witnessing Eggza & never witnessing Eggza. He can't tell what's funnier or if he'd be embarrassed. They've heard stories from other eggs though
He has no interest in making himself Look like an egg. The sign usage is all he needs. And its funnier when you approach your grown ass man best friend Philza Minecraft only for him to look as wild as he did during Purgatory but without the Looks Like He's Dying Slowly part & refuse to talk to you verbally. The "what the fuck is happening here" is the best part of Eggza, if he starts LOOKING like an egg everyone will understand what's going on and that's lame
He bounces off everyone's energy. The more unhinged they are, the more unhinged he is. Unless he's harassing the baker. Then he fuels his own fuckery
The funny thing is he makes sure everyone thinks he's constantly this wild gremlin that only knows one thing: Grind. But really if no one's around while he's grinding, he's actually just straight up vibing. Got headphones in, blasting his jams, doin his work. In his lane, unbothered, flourishing.
I would sell my soul to see Eggza beat the ever-loving shit out of Purgatory workers it'd be so fucking funny holy shit
One of his favorite parts of going Eggza Mode is amusing his friends with the way he's just a nonverbal weirdo. Especially when he answers something they say by just dancing
If He's An Extra Silly Gremlin They'll Give Him Avocado Toast As A Treat
No one knows where he shoos his crows off to when he's Eggza. Or if it's some unspoken "ok time to scatter" rule as soon as he puts the gas mask on by the bakery. But they disperse and for a while, the other islanders can't shake the feeling of Phil seeming strangely bare for some reason. It's bc the murder is away
Tbh I bet even without the Hardcore dreams, he'd sleep a long time with how hard he works as Eggza
"Hard work," I say, as if most of the time Phil isn't just making mobs insatiable amounts of horny so everyone can give the baker what they're asking for (the awareness of this is half of why he's so unhinged as Eggza, it's too absurd & funny to him)
Calling back to another prev non-Eggza hc I made, he has less of a filter when he's not parenting or in peril. He has said some absolutely wild out of pocket shit on signs
If given the right kind of motivation, an islander could probably get Eggza to go feral and kill something or someone. Fit tosses him a stack of whatever arbitrary item Phil might find enticing enough atm & Phil is suddenly on a spree like he was with those bunnies that one time
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god i wish we had gotten more of twelve with river song. he just meshes so well with her and since their time streams are finally (almost) synced up you don’t feel the imbalance of maturity/knowledge that you get in a lot of eleven’s time with her, and less general timeline “where are they right now what the fuck is happening” fuckery to sort through. just a husband and wife who have lived so much together and know it’s coming to an end very soon so they have to relish it (even if river doesn’t have the knowledge of her own death the way the doctor does, she knows it’s almost over because her diary is running out of pages). and i love watching this older, less theatrical, more rough-around-the-edges doctor with her because it develops their dynamic and the passage of time for the doctor so well. he's not eleven, trying to hide the pain and damage anymore. he doesn't spin off lies and deflections. he wears the hurt and is comfortable in it, and river is there to bring the joy and wonder out. they just have a more mature, beautiful relationship to me.
more thoughts and elaboration under the cut bc i care for your dash <3
twelve and river were such a delight to watch because (this is getting into hot take territory here sorry) once capaldi took over from matt smith, the show basically gave up on the whole “the doctor is very attractive and all the women want him” narrative that it pushed for eleven. of course it was there with ten but i think it got Egregious with eleven. moffat really wanted us to believe matt smith was the hottest man in the universe (and he’s not unattractive! i admit i thought he was attractive when i first watched doctor who years and years ago! the writing was just over the top with it!) twelve is not some young whimsical prettyboy anymore— he’s abrasive, blunt, and old. the show doesn’t treat him like he’s supposed to be attractive, which makes him and river’s relationship feel so real.
first off i want to point out that river is still very much attracted to the doctor in his new body which was so exciting for me because how often to we get to see romance and desire and (sexually) intimate relationships in people past the age of 35??? hardly ever! how often do we see a beautiful woman expressing desire for a man that’s not young or conventionally handsome NOT because she has ulterior motives or we’re supposed to believe he’s actually the sexiest man alive but because she simply loves him? how often do we see relationships where no matter how much change they go through, even when one of them has turned into an entirely different person (figuratively or literally), the love stays steady and unchanged? especially when these changes involve aging? there isn’t nearly enough. and seeing it is kind of healing for me, just a reminder that you can have love and intimacy and passion even when you’re not “young and beautiful” anymore
twelve and river’s relationship is just charged with so much shared experience and trust and i wish we had gotten to see more of it. in conclusion i want a special that recaps the 24 years on darillium thank you and goodbye
#they had twenty four years…#all that time to just live and be husband and wife#all that time for her to learn all the ins and outs of the new him#and all the ways for him to work through how he can express love in the new body#as twelve rather than eleven#and getting to see that she loves him just the same in every form#idk i’ve been thinking a lot about aging lately#i know im young but i have a bit of a fear of it because of how society pushes the whole ‘past your prime’ narrative#especially for women who are taught that they lose value once their ‘youth and beauty’ fades#like i said seeing relationships like these is healing#doctor who#twelfth doctor#river song#the husbands of river song
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can we talk about everything sanji’s gone through.
he has a pit of trauma three klicks wide that goes down deeper than the mariana trench. he feels the phantom pain of broken bones and the crush of iron around his skull. he lets himself dwell in the past and his heart begins to ache, and that’s not even going NEAR the shitshow on whole cake island. he has to constantly remind himself that he’s worthy of being alive, worthy of everything that he has, because of the stupid fucking voices at the back of his head that sound too much like his father and brothers and no matter how hard he tries he can’t get rid of them. he’s alive, but if you told him that he wouldn’t wake up the next day and there was nothing he could do, he wouldn’t fight it.
all he’s ever known is the mercy of a woman. his mother. his sister. he treats women like they’re goddesses because to him they are, they’re the only ones who saved him when he had nobody else. and deep down inside, in a box that he won’t touch, is the fact that he’s scared of men— which then ties into his possible gender fuckery and queer identity because he loves pretty things yes but also he can’t stand the thought of seeing those monsters in himself. he knows how cruel they can be. the way their strength could cause so much damage. the way a man could so easily make somebody feel helpless and cornered, and he never wants to make anyone feel that way; some days the hair and makeup and dresses help. they soften his edges, smooth him into something he can believe is gentle and sleek and pretty.
others days they just makes him feel like more of a fraud.
and he’s attracted to men but also, why? why, when all they’ve ever done is hurt him? it makes disgust roil in his gut, self-loathing burning, dripping through his ribcage, but he can’t help it and he hates it and he thinks that it must really be some kind of cosmic joke, him turning out attracted to the very people he’s terrified of.
(am i writing a sanji angst drabble right now? …yes.)
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So… Non Ghost Skyrim Lucien
I’ve been sorta just brainstorming ideas of Skyrim Lucien. Overall he’s like Shadowmere but I kinda wanted to add more to him in my Skyrim au and so I bring forth theses ramblings.
It starts off with him being dead and the guard of Bruma finding the nightmarish scene in Applewatch. During the investigation, Sithis got pissed that is Dark Brotherhood fav died like an idiot so the Dread Father did the same void stuff he probably did to create Shadowmere but with Lucien this time. Lucien starts, for lack of a better term, regenerating from his wounds and gained powers such as super strength and regeneration. However that resurrection wasn’t perfect since he’s blind from an eye, deaf to everything that isn’t Sithis or his own voice, more bloodthirsty, less subtle and his lower jaw occasionally falls off.
Well he made quite a ruckus in the North of Cyrodiil for obvious reasons, eventually word spread across the entire province about the man who literally sprung back to life. Some say it could have been necromancy gone wrong, others would point to the deadra. Lucien would enter the Cheydenhall sanctuary and haunt Arquen for a week before brutally killing her as revenge for the whole traitor situation. I don’t think he’d seek revenge on Arquen if this was regular Lucien, but yeah this Lucien is quite vindictive and really really pissed. Not in the loud anger but in the silent rage kind. He eventually makes his way to the Night Mother’s crypt to discover what happened to Bellamont, the Night Mother eventually tell him to calm tf down and that Baadahil deserted her position as Listener, at this point Baadahil is Lucien’s wife and locked herself in Cloud Ruler Temple out of heartbreak and anger.
They both confront each other and Baadahil seeing how dangerous Lucien ended up becoming (he nearly kills Martin and did a lot of collateral damage because he did not calm tf down) , she freezes him solid and seals him in a Dwemmer ruin. This event only made the Deal Brotherhood finale worse for her and Martin’s death was the final straw for her to mantle the madgod. Around 200 years later, before the events of Skyrim, Astrid learns of a legend of the Dark Brotherhood being sealed off inside a Dwemmer ruin. And so Astrid ventures in, defrosts Lucien who finally calmed down and gets him as an ally in the same way she probably got Shadowmere aka he can be brought to Nirn from the same void pool as Shadowmere.
And then the Skyrim time fuckery Au happens and that makes for a very awkward reunion. I mean if I were a 200+ year old undead assassin and found that my long lost wife has been isekaied and is now possessing the body of a Dragonborn and at one point divorced the leader of rebels in the ongoing civil war I too would be weirded out.
Anything to put a soap opera in Skyrim for pure entertainment.
#May not be entirely lore accurate but I am having fun so it doesn’t matter#Also my headcanon as to why Skyrim Lucien can’t be interacted with is because Skyrim Lucien is deaf#But that shouldn’t pose any problems as I made him and a couple other DB members know Sign Language#I mean Baadahil can’t speak verbally and she’s probably not the only one so#lucien lachance#elderscrolls#tall dark and stabby#hero of kvatch#oc#oc ramblings#dark brotherhood#oc x canon#oc: baadahil faris#I did not reread and just rambled out#It feels good to ramble about blorbos#Also yes Baadahil divorces Ulfric Stromcloak less than 12 hours after the wedding because I thought it would be funny#But that’s a story for another time
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i shall ask once more. \o/ 12, 26, 39 (is there another snippet in stock, void-sama?) and 55! <3
Welcome back 💚
List of questions here
(I should start keeping a list of things people call me on Tumblr...)
12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?
Like I said in response to another of these questions, I am not immune to having expectations...which have admittedly been skewed by hanging around in MCU/stucky (guys, you spoiled me).
Receiving feedback makes me happy, often derangedly happy. There's that simple pleasure in sharing something I made—something I put a lot of time, effort, and joy into—and seeing it have an effect on other people. There's a reason I reread my comments (and Tumblr tags, when applicable) a zillion times.
Not receiving it is predictably disappointing, though the intensity varies a lot with my level of investment in the fandom/ship and, more importantly, the particular story. You know those jokes about how the fics we work most on and are most proud of tend to be less well received than something we throw together in a hurry? Yeah, that's always an...interesting experience.
What feedback doesn't affect is whether I write or what I write. This wasn't the case until last year or so, but now, nearly everything I post is already fully written and being posted on a monthly schedule. It spares me from being discouraged in the middle of writing a fic. Similarly, darkfic tends to not be as popular as fluff or even hurt/comfort, but literally nothing else sparks up my brain like some gourmet fuckery, so nothing's going to make me stop writing those stories.
...holy shit, that got long.
26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
THE FUCKING KIDNAPPING FIC
I cannot tell you how weird/wild it is that this thing unraveled the way it did. I know I post a lot of multichapters for JJK, but I don't really consider them multichaps as such. More like...six-shots or something (don't ask). I was content poking at porny bits of canon divergence scenarios.
And then @nearalways asked one(1) question: What'd have happened if Yuuji had chosen not to be Sukuna's host when Gojou tells him to choose his hell? We'd also been talking a lot about how dead-eyed and done Yuuji looked in most of his middle school-era flashbacks. Long story very short, I wrote a 119k answer that has done irreparable damage to my sanity and irrevocably changed how I write Gojou in particular.
39. Share a snippet from a WIP
I always have snippets! Especially since I've got some...300k of JJK fic I haven't even posted yet. You can find it under the cut.
55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?
Yuuji, hands down. The whole reason I'm even in this fandom is because I adore that kid. I haven't been this fascinated by a shonen MC in ages. Me being me, this does mean I put him through unimaginable horrors though!
And no, not at all. You, uh, might notice that I tend to be very set in my opinions 😂
Snippet here:
Yuuji yanks at the hand pinning him down.
There’s a moment where it works. Gojou’s fingers loosen, and his whole rhythm falters, and Yuuji almost, almost frees himself, wholly intent on flipping them over, but then there’s a soft breath of laughter, and a second hand clamps down on the wrist Yuuji has nearly wrenched free.
He makes a furious final attempt, throwing the whole of his strength into it, but this time, Gojou’s hold doesn’t waver for even a second. He’s grinning down at Yuuji, the devil on his lips.
“Devious,” Gojou tells him; it sounds like a compliment. “You’ve grown stronger, Yuuji—much, much stronger.”
And that sounds like pure sex.
Yuuji’s hips buck up helplessly, and Gojou bears down against him, pinning him there too.
“Clearly,” Yuuji hisses through clenched teeth, “not enough.”
“I’m a different kind of beast,” Gojou says easily. His eyes grow heavy-lidded. “But one day soon, Yuuji, you’ll be able to hurt me. Really hurt me. Won’t that be fun?”
Yuuji’s brain is abruptly yanked away from his dick and shoved back into his skull. “What? No! I don’t want that!”
“Of course you do,” Gojou says, laughing. “You will. It’s alright. I’ll let you.”
“Gojou-sensei—”
“But that’s for later. What do you want right now, Yuuji?”
“You,” Yuuji says incredulously, a thousand meanings packed into that one word.
Gojou’s eyes narrow, a different kind of heat than the look he shot Yuuji before. “Don’t cop out on me now. What were you going to do, Yuuji?”
“Fucking—” Yuuji lifts his head just to slam it down on the mattress; it’s not satisfying at all. “I want to fucking touch you! What else!”
“Cute,” Gojou says, his smile growing wider and more unhinged at Yuuji’s growl. “Where, Yuuji? How? I’ve only been gone for nineteen days, but you already forgot the game. I trained you better than this.”
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“I’ve seen some variation of this rant a few times:
“‘I survived lead paint, wooden spoons, no seatbelts, no helmets, second hand smoke, playing unsupervised, drinking from the hose, and riding in the back of a truck.’
“This ‘you kids that I raised are soft and it’s all your fault’ nostalgia misses something in the quest to make asbestos great again; a lot of people didn’t survive this fuckery.
“Today’s Moment of Science… Survivorship bias & phantom bullet holes.
“We like to think that we’re rational thinkers, able to spot logical fallacies out in the wilderness. But what happens when the cause of your logical fallacy is information that’s long gone? This is a kind of selection bias known as survivorship bias, and it’s annoyingly common.
“‘Old houses were better constructed.’ Or you only see the sturdiest of the old ones today because nobody made an effort to save the 14th century shacks.
“‘Music from back in the day is standing the test of time.’ There’s caterwauling that deserves its fate buried in the bowels of music history from every era, I’m afraid.
“‘You can become a billionaire without going to college if you just work hard and read books, look at this tech bro who I think is irl Tony Stark.’
“Truly, I enjoy an inspiring story about not having student loan debt as much as the next millennial going through an existential crisis. But every story of someone who got rich or famous tells the quieter story of far more people who wanted it just as badly, tried, and failed.
“So, airplanes.
“Abraham Wald was a Hungarian Jew who fled Europe for the US in the late 1930s because of that whole ‘Hitler was a murderous cockface’ thing. He had his PhD in mathematics and went to work for the Statistical Research Group (SRG) at Columbia University. The SRG has been described as a collection of the ‘most extraordinary group of statisticians ever organized.’
“Planes kept coming back from the war with bullet holes in a certain pattern, if they came back at all. Damage clustered around the wing tips and tail. Weight needed to be kept low while giving the plane more protection, and the areas that had sustained a lot of fire seemed like the obvious places to armor up. Right?
“But Wald suggested that planes were likely to be hit fairly evenly, not that the enemy fire was clustering around these spots tactically. He considered the data he didn’t have: the planes that never came home. Where were they being hit?
“If he was right that planes took fire everywhere, then the planes should be armored heavily where the surviving planes hadn’t taken damage. The engine and the cockpit came back seemingly unscathed every time in otherwise bullet ridden planes. Those areas were subsequently fortified.
“It’s a good lesson in survivorship bias. And saved untold lives.
“Abraham Wald’s work contributed considerably to the burgeoning field of operational research. Because of his immigration status, he reportedly wasn’t able to get a security clearance or even look at the final reports he contributed to. He died in a plane crash in 1950 on the way to India for a lecture tour at just 48 years old.
“This has been your Moment of Science, never sure I have all the data.
“To get the MOS delivered to your inbox every weekday with rocket scientist orgies, NASA funded dolphin handjobs, and friggin… Australia… head to patreon.com/scibabe.”
h/t SciBabe
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Goji plays WATGBS: Windmill Isle
after kicking Samekichi's ass (tail?) last time, we head over to fix the next stone, but before that, we have a brief encounter with...
Y O U
"yes... we found the bodies of some Tosatsu Kingdom's soldiers floating around here"
IT WAS YOU, YOU DID IT!!!!
"it's fine! me and the rest will be making some rounds..."
YEAH, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE, GET OUT!!!
"yup yup"
DON'T YOU FUCKING SMILE AT ME YOU OVERGROWN PIECE OF SALMON, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE!1!1!1
....
......
................................
what was i talking about? i think i kinda got sidetrack there, oh yeah!, Windmill Isle
nice place, really calm music, lots of Windmills... duh... nothing more to say really.
as always, instead of going directly where we're supposed to go, i decided to walk along the coast to find something extra, in this case, a chest with new armor
now we're fully decked in candy armour, hope there aren't any ants around here... *Walking With Beasts flashbacks*
with our new armour we go forward to our adventure, taking in the scenery and reading the little character interactions the main cast have during these scenes, now, we can go to fix the barrier stone
but before that!...
BIG WINDMILL
alright, now onto the cave!
and of course, it's time to decimate the local bat population, this time using Wadanohara's new magical attack, throwing a fucking helm at people and possibly breaking their skulls on impact, except it's
✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:・ﾟMAGICAL *:・ﾟ*:・ﾟ*:・ﾟ
oh, and another chest with new stuff
now i'm imagining Wadanohara, Memoca and Dolpi wearing ear muffs and finding it adorable (and Fukami too, except instead of adorable it's hilarious).
we massacred like half of your kind inside this cave and you are still willing to heal us, man, these healers are really forgiving people, the true MVPs of this game!
*insert Monthy Python reference here*
youtube
they didn't stand a fucking chance, kinda feel bad for the guys, couldn't even make a single move...
"i'm the only one who can get close to the stones, thanks to my father's blood"
alright, some insight into the stone and barrier's mechanics, only Wadanohara can access the stones directly, thanks to being Meikai's daughter, nobody in the entire kingdom, not even Tatsumiya (probably) can get direct access to the stones.
"no magic should be able to pass through that..."
not even spells and other magic fuckery can get pass the barrier that protects the stones, so the only way for someone to able to do something to the stones...
"unless it was myself, the stones can't be damaged"
it's using Wadanohara herself!
THIS is some really good foreshadowing (atleast in my opinion), i used to think the whole reveal at the end of the game kinda came from nowhere, but now replaying i see that some stuff was already kinda set up, but it was set up in a way to still leave the twist be an complete and absolute surprise, really good Funamusea, really freaking good!
and that's all for this installment of "Goji plays WATGBS" see you... whenever i upload the next, could be tomorrow, could be in a week, could be in a couple months, who fucking knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#funamusea#okegom#deep sea prisoner#ounabara to wadanohara#wadanohara and the great blue sea#goji plays watgbs#wadanohara (watgbs)#sal wadanohara#rpg maker horror#Youtube
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😳💬🏩
💬 When did my muse go on their first date?
Though men took Lyrha out for drinks and whatnot plenty of times before, SHE now considers her first real date to be with X'rhun. There... were drinks involved. They were between capers and eager to unwind. But a troupe of performers at the bar opened the way for a dancing competition. X'rhun tried to impress her with his Flamenco. Which... yes. It was attractive. She admits. But she absolutely could not resist trying to one-up him up with Step Dancing, and an entirely new rivalry between them was born.
--
The other two answers deal with topics like extremely unsatisfying sex, and child and sexual abuse in significant detail, so they're going under the cut! If you're sensitive to such themes, please be aware these may not be something you'd enjoy reading
😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?
She's been with a lot of abusive men in the past, and there was certainly a learning curve to choosing the right kind of bad men to cozy up to during her piracy days. Some were bad in bed, some were dirty, some were jealous, some were violent, most were variations all around.
But there's one man in particular who really... just... sucks...
Baagvai, the slaver-pirate king who in fact led the raid on Lyrha's village when she was around seven years old, and, she believed, killed her father who was trying to protect her (something Lyrha felt responsible for). Baagvai had intended to sell her off, but she was such an aggressive, stubborn little child he found himself attached. He raised Lyrha as part of his crew.
There's already some mind-fuckery going on there for her, the man who kidnapped her and killed her father in front of her then taking on a parental role. Baagvai was a violent man, not afraid to hit her, but all the same he protected her from the worst of the other crew who were afraid to displease him by damaging his 'kitten.'
She was spared molestation as a child and given some agency over her body. She got to decide (more or less) who she slept with, and while part of his crew, Baagvai ensured she had access to medicines and tonics to suppress heats and prevent pregnancies. But that's about the best that can be said.
Baagvai had her, too, when she was old enough, and made no effort to ensure the experiences were pleasurable.
Lyrha was pretty well indoctrinated into the lifestyle and thought she was happy. At least as happy as anyone could be given the savagery of the world. She thought she meant something to Baagvai, that she was a fully-fledged member of his crew, and was loyal to him.
Until someone finally offered him enough gil for her, and he sold her into thrall with little hesitation. Lyrha. was. furious. Utterly betrayed. She escaped, barely, after a bloody conflict. But piracy was the only life she knew, and so taking the skills he'd taught her, she signed onto another ship of her choosing and resolved to never again offer anyone her loyalty.
Baagvai systematically ruined her life, manipulating and traumatizing her in significant ways that, decades later, she will still struggle with.
When she crosses paths with him again, as a fully-fledged Red Mage, Lyrha completely loses her composure and makes a foolish solitary assault on his ship, desperate to kill the man who had come to represent everything she hated about herself. It goes badly. He overwhelms her, shatters her wrist, and would have imprisoned her again had Arya and X'rhun not managed to pick up the trail and caught up in time to rescue her. They barely get out alive.
This places a significant strain on her relationship with X'rhun, who, though he knew she had a wicked past, did not know the finer details and had no idea at first why she'd made such a reckless, suicidal assault on what seemed to be just another brigand. They do work it out, and after what he went through with Lambard he can certainly understand, but the point remains that Baagvai was a significant factor in a bad argument and well over a week of the pair not even being able to speak to one another.
It later takes their combined efforts, and the aid of the Scions, to finally put Baagvai down.
So yeah he's probably the worst man she's ever slept with, considering all the peripherals.
--
🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?
Nothing special! She'd hoped the guy (a Roegadyn) being a little clever with his words would mean it would play out like all the songs, but was sorely disappointed when all he really knew how to do was thrust with his cock. Though their size difference was significant, he didn't know enough to make any effort to stretch her out properly beforehand, neither did he make sure she was lubricated nor given time to adjust to his girth. She didn't didn't even come close to finishing (Lyrha actually did not even know that women could climax for most of her life), and was sore for days afterward. No fun.
It set the bar pretty low for her expectations of what sex was supposed to be like.
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wouldn't belos technically be able to wipe minds, since Amity almost wiped Willow's? Theoretically, Belos only needs magical pliers any school class can get access to and more caution and foresight than a 14 year old who accidentally set a whole photo collection on fire instead of just one picture. Of course it could be that the subsequent brain damage to the GG was rather cumbersome, but I can totally imagine Belos at least experimenting that way, molding the GGs brains more directly
Right right, youre right, it slipped my mind for a second that mind erasing is a completely feasible and easy task in this world, to the point that it can be done accidentally. So yeah, it would absolutely be possible for Belos to do this to his Golden Guards.
In my own opinion, I kinda like to think that Belos did not use magic once to influence Hunter's mind. Just because I think it is so masterfully fucked up and interesting how much he has managed to reprogramme his brain and control him without magic. It is all human style manipulation and gaslighting.
And because of that, I imagine Hunter has retained every single one of his memories of Belos being deplorable, but is so brainwashed that he has spent years exhausting himself with mental gymnastics in order to justify the things he has seen. Hunter is so smart but you can really see what a crucial coping mechanism selective ignorance is for him. That time in Hollow Mind is probably not the first time he has implemented it.
It wouldn't be unlikely that Belos used a little magical mind fuckery on some of his early grimwalkers, since he really does seem to view them as simple experiments. But I figure that was something he stopped doing over 200 GGs ago because at this point he has realized that he doesn't want to magically control them. Thats what witches do and he is above that sinful kind of magic. He wants them to obey him and accept everything he does of their own free will. Which is probably why he treats the whole journey through his mind as some kind of fucked up test of loyalty for Hunter. He is attempting to create the perfectly obedient and non judgemental grimwalker and mentally and emotionally breaking him down is just another experiment.
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um i keep thinking about how when we imagine "ending the cycle of abuse" the way its presented is kind of like. theres this neverending chain of fuckery all the way down to the grandparent, who we understand to have been really shitty to our parent, who we know to have been really shitty to us, and then going forward we're the ones who are going to have the child and end this 10000 year genetically inherited hellscape or whatever. at least thats how its portrayed in a lot of media about generational trauma . and maybe we hear a little bit about the grandparents trauma or we can kind of infer that they must have also gone through hell and processed that hell as just the way of things. but anyway
i think the truth is there is no full stop "ending" to a cycle of abuse..and that doesnt mean i think that you're like, doomed to hurt people or put them in the same amount of pain as you or anyone who came before you, but like. even with your best intentions i dont know how possible it is to not inflict some level of damage that they have to go on to undo. but the important thing is like..less that you end it full stop ..and more that you soften the blow? like, i think thats the best you can do, even if you dont have kids, because youre going to end up inflicting some of that onto someone at some point, through the nature of trauma
and that's like kind of maybe less hopeful than its presented to us most of the time but i think its still an ultimately good thing, like, every generation we learn more about how to treat others and how to minimize damage to ourselves and others, and it can be slow, or radical, a lot of the worst of it can and should be left behind, but there are still going to be things we think are "just the way" that we find out 100 years later were horrible practices. and i think even if you manage to iron out every single bug, it still has this toll on a child to know the past, to know where they come from. like its still a burden in its own right. idk
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Thess vs Distrust
So here it is in a nutshell:
I DON’T TRUST THAT DOGFUCKER.
So Johnson has resigned, or so all the news outlets say. Except ... did any of them actually listen to his speech? Do any of them actually know or care how a resignation happens? No; first, he hasn’t resigned until he’s gone and spoken to the Queen, and he has yet to do that. Second, his speech itself said “Well, the Conservative Party wants a new leader but I’ll keep working until they find one”. THAT IS NOT HOW THIS SHIT WORKS. Or it’s not supposed to be. He claims to be being a ‘caretaker PM’ until the leadership contest is done, but honestly, his ‘resignation speech’ sounded more like a campaign speech. ANd given his track record, how the fuck does anyone actually trust that he won’t find a way to weasel out of his statement by October?
As to his saying, “No new policies until the new Tory party leader (and thus PM) gets elected”? Again, how the fuck do we trust him? This is the man who illegally prorogued Parliament to try to force through a shitty Brexit deal (I mean, it went through anyway, but seriously). This is the man who has not told the truth a single fucking time he’s been in office!
I’m sorry, but when fifty-nine people resign over your horseshit, and your only baby step is to say, “I’ll resign in a few months, honest, guv” ... HOW DO YOU BELIEVE HIM?!?
Thankfully, at least a couple of the Tory MPs ... don’t, really. They’re telling everyone to rush the selection process and hopefully get him out by August. There’s a lot of damage that someone can do in 1-2 months.
Also ... honestly, the leadership candidates are all underwhelming at best. They were picked for their loyalty to Johnson rather than their expertise. This is why we have a Culture Secretary who doesn’t know how Channel 4 is funded and really does not understand the internet despite being instrumental in setting policy about it (who also says that she became a MP because “God wanted me to be one”. NO I AM NOT KIDDING). Each and every one of them has some kind of scandal or bit of fiddle-fuckery. The Conservative party is rotten right down to the core now. And it’s all Johnson’s fault.
And seriously, yet again we’re in a position where we have no say in our Prime Minister, because we elect the party, not the person. And yes, I will be celebrating as hard as anybody else if the rumpled pile of medical waste actually leaves without fucking things up worse. Hell, even if he just actually leaves. However, I do not fool myself that this is going to get any better. Honestly, the way things are right now, I expect them to get worse. We’re not going to have Johnson anymore, no; we’re going to have one of his pets.
So ... just take the news statements saying that he’s resigned with a grain of salt, okay?
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𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐒 // @survivoirs
❛ don’t touch me. get away from me. ❜
" What the fuck? " It's confused and said in a sort of way that's it clear Izzy is saying it more to himself than to Lucius. Izzy's been wholly startled out of any sort of anger by the fact that what he thought might have been some kind of pest in the walls of the mess has turned out to the be the fuckin' scribe. The scribe who was supposed to be dead. Edward said so.
His first thought is that it's some sort of fuckery on Blackbeard's end. That he'd hidden the scribe and pretended that he was dead. Fuck it, it's a hope. Blackbeard has become violent to a point that Izzy can barely manage. He'd wanted his captain back, he'd wanted Edward back, he'd wanted to go back to the way things were, so he'd gone knocking n the devil's door and sure enough, the devil answered.
But that doesn't make sense. If it was Edward's doing, then Edward would have just dropped him off at one of the many shores they'd been to. No reason for Spriggs to be hiding in the walls like this, no reason for him to be stealing food when Edward could have just asked for it.
None of this makes any fucking sense.
" You - " Izzy takes a little bit of a step back. He's confident he could kill this scrawny beat-up looking thing with or without his sword if he had to, but better to do so with a balanced footing. Best he can have with his foot so severely damaged, anyway.
. . . Maybe they're on more equal footing than he thought.
" I'm not gonna touch you, you look like you crawled out of a fuckin' sewer. " Smells that way too, actually. “ Blackbeard said he killed you. "
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i read the 'I don't ever not want tpo be asked about my oc' thing and am tipsy so who's youre best boy or girl
How do we wanna define best, becomes the question here?
Honestly I usually default to talking about Harlem, lol (and Kaden will always insist I should be talking about him lmao), but you know what I wanna walk about my boy Damek.
Damek is - well I���ve sometimes changed it a bit but let’s say some flavor of shapeshifter (I’ve recently contemplated plucking him from one OC world and just tweaking and plopping him in with the Hounds). He’s got a younger brother he would do anything for - and has in many ways, without him ever knowing.
There’s a very tragic backstory with death and murder and sometimes political fuckery involved, but it ends with Damek and Daemyn without parents or family they rely on or trust, and basically fending for themselves for several years. And Damek did everything he could to make sure his brother was as safe and healthy and taken care of as he could be. More than Daemyn realizes. It made Damek grow up fast, and learn how hard and cruel the world can be, and it kinda fucked him up some (a lot).
Damek’s pretty - aloof, in some ways. He doesn’t trust easily and he’s more inclined to watch and learn about people than talk to them or dive into a situation he’s not familiar with. (Daemyn jokes sometimes that he’s the nice one and Damek is the scary one.) What few people Damek does let in, he becomes very protective of and loyal to. And even they sometimes struggle to know things about him bc he’s closed off a lot of the time.
But he’s brilliant at tracking people and smarter than many expect of him. He’s unbearably kind when he can be, and always to kids or people that are hurt and scared.
He wants to have a life where he can stop worrying and relax and just - settle, but he doesn’t think he’ll every actually get that. He’s tired but doesn’t know how to stop and rest. He misses his mom and dad and feels like he can’t bring up the good memories of them, because it might seem like he just wants to ignore the bad ending. He’s stubborn as hell and hates to admit when he’s wrong.
He wouldn’t realize it, but he wants someone he doesn’t have to be strong for, that maybe can be strong for him when he needs it. He doesn’t realize it, but he often gives too much of himself, because he doesn’t think he’s worth as much as other people. He thinks his parents would be disappointed in him if they knew him now. He thinks what he feels doesn’t matter so long as his people are okay.
He’s full of damage and pain and constantly ignored heartbreak, and he’s soft and kind and wants to be loved despite everything.
He’s the OC I think of when I’m having bad days and need some comfort; or when I’m having a bad day and need to expel it with writing some angsty snippets and drabbles and whatnot. He first was imagined up waaaay back in senior year of high school, or maybe more the summer right after it ended, and back then two other fellow writing friends from HS and I would have “character chats” and make our various OCs interact and talk. (Kaden was an enemies to frenemies to best friends with Tristan; very opposite personalities but they were pretty ride or die after years of this.) Damek first appeared in a chat with Niko I believe it was and they immediately hated each other. Niko thought he was too serious and therefore delightful to tease and mock, and Damek thought Niko was full of lies and careless and thus dangerous. They never did end up getting along; best E and I got was them being tensely polite lolol.
And you know what, how about a best girl too? You gotta meet Cinder. She’s one of my Hounds, and competent and smart and sharp. She grew up being told she just needed to be pretty and quiet and perfect, and she took that and went “no” and broke all the rules that had shaped her life to leave and help others instead.
She helps other Hounds who need it, people who need it, and she’s gathered people around her that are like minded about that - many of them people and Hounds she has helped too.
She looks fragile and soft but she’s got a spine of steel and spark of fire in her that shows through when needed. She uses her looks and peoples’ expectations against them, to her advantage, because why the fuck not, if they’re gonna be so stupid as to do that? She’ll lull them into a very mistaken sense of security and then viciously put them in their place when they’re right where she wants them.
Cinder doesn’t hold onto the past; she sees no point to when it’s the present and future that matter. She’s very action oriented, very driven and focused, and sometimes it makes her harsh, though she doesn’t really mean to be.
(It’s okay; Po’s her right-hand guy, her favorite, her best friend and partner and lodestone person. He’s observant and protective and in some ways calmer than her - which is funny in that he’s more impulsive than her too. He helps soften her sharp edges though, as she has helped soothe his hurts and fears.)
I can say that while she doesn’t live in the past, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself if she didn’t have the work she does. It would leave her lost, adrift, and that would shake her terribly. She always wants to help others but never asks for help (good thing she has Po and Stella). She is self aware enough to know that if somehow it came down to the safety of Po or a stranger, she’d want to pick Po, and he might not forgive her if she did. She used to be afraid that she would unintentionally hurt Po and he might be better off away from her, but he just wanted to stay by her side however she’d let him. She’s not good about taking breaks, and when a situation gets stressful she can be harsh and snap at people who don’t deserve it, but she apologizes later, when things are better, or when she has a moment to reflect and realize she reacted poorly.
She’s fire and strength and a bit of meanness and an underlying anger that is so familiar she doesn’t even recognize it as anger per se.
She’s one of my newer characters - came up when I was pondering two other characters, in the backstory of one of them, and almost stole the show there. Parts of her backstory are still in flux, but the core of her character never shifts, and I love it about her. She is very staunchly who she is, and she is almost ruthless in making things happen. I adore her.
#Jules replies#OC ramblings#Jules writes things#felawnie#I'm so sorry this is so so late replied to - I swear I had it answered a week-ish after you sent it!#I answered it on mobile while at work and saved it in my drafts and then promptly forgot about it until now whoops
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okay: so whether this is what ed and stede’s literal first time seeing each other in s2 is like, in terms of the first moment of emotional breakthrough here’s what i’d most want.
stede’s s1 arc has approx 272289 moving parts, but one of the deep ironies is the way his liminal space ship allowed everybody willing to take the chance room to emotionally grow and crack open their shells, but stede almost never takes advantage of the same chance in a way that involves him offering up emotional disclosures about himself.
(and when he does, they’re prompted by someone else going first or literally being forced, ohhhh stede. oh buddy. i love you: you’re a lot. you’re family, kiddo, but you gotta learn we can’t blame people for not knowing we want them to walk through doors we keep firmly closed and sometimes lock against them.)
and given stede’s upbringing on about... every level, it makes sense he’s this locked down. putting himself out there verbally and being vulnerable in that way, performing love that way: that’s gonna be hard for him. it’s also going to be one of the things that helps him keep growing, instead of clinging to the damage of his past and calling it Just How It Is.
beyond that, we can be fairly sure ed’s going to still be pissed off. if i had to guess, when this starts ed’s position is he does not want to hear it: he’s walled back up, he’s the kraken and he DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR IT STEDE
and then i don’t know, stede can apologize because he’s going to have to be inconsiderate once again: he really does need to say it, because maybe knowing why might help. not make it right: not take it back. just... help.
and then stede can explain he left because yes: it was late and he was scared and chauncey is a reeeeeal jerk who made stede an accidental murderer in an even more ridiculous way, and nobody makes great choices in those kind of situations.
but more than that: stede left because he thought he ruined ed, like he ruined his family. ed didn’t want to become a privateer, and he didn’t want to run away to china: he was doing those things because he thought he wanted to be with stede. what would happen, the day ed woke up and realized he’d been wrong and stede was nothing like ed had thought and he had been ruined. what would happen? he would hate stede, and he would leave.
at least this way, stede was doing something right. he was going back and being a husband and a father, but then mary helped him realize: he was a husband, and he is a father— well, was on both maybe! legally he’s dead, you see, there was this fantastic fuckery ed, you would have loved it. obtained a jaguar and all!!! and ed is like ...i hate how much i want all those details, you mad fucker i’m so mad at you but i can’t seem to quit the other stuff i feel about you, too— but the way he could do right by them was to leave again, and go back to ed. the kids say hi, by the way! very excited to hear about all our adventures. mary, too, some of this was all thanks to her.
oh! like how she’s the one who showed me that i love you, he should probably add as a cheerful afterthought while ed is dealing with all that insanity at once.
and because ed deserves a little fuck you room to breathe, he could say: well fuck that. you left. taika would do something with his eyes i’ll yell about until i die, the works. maybe even go for the ‘yeah, well? i HATE YOU now’ gut.
and stede can say: i did. and i love you, even if it’s too late. even if you hate me! even if you threw away all my things, even if you marooned most of our kids. (though you will probably have to have THAT discussion with them, edward really i don’t suppose i have much standing here but really. not even leaving them some lunch???? an appetizer or two? you know how buttons gets about this, & etc) i love all of you, & etc.
and then honestly? i want ed to start the process of letting him back in. not just: well okay then. we don’t need to deal with it, because that was one of the mistakes that tripped them up after their breakthrough in the bathtub confessional: they never circled back and actually talked much more about it. if they had, maybe stede could have asked more, and ed could have done the same. instead, they wandered around with half-filled in images of each other, some based on what they learned by being around each other, but still holding onto their own individual baggage about why they assume the other has it made and doesn’t feel downright worthless sometimes.
part of the thing i find most interesting about where we leave stede at the end of s1 is that he’s faaaar from finished with his journey; he's just ready to start figuring out who the fuck he actually is, now. ed’s had a setback thanks to mister izzy ‘what’s emotional literacy? is that some gay shit? is it about FINDING JOY???? you KNOW how i feel about finding joy and gay shit’ hands, but he was actually on the start of a similar road before shit went sideways.
so: because i’m a big sap but a realist, i don’t know that ed needs to say it back RIGHT then. i... wouldn’t hate it, because i think love is saying: sure, okay. come on in, kiddo, i got cake for us all, but dramatic tension is also a love language.
either way, i want stede to open the fuck up in a clear way, apologize, and profess love to any fucking version of ed alive, because ed doesn’t need to be making stede happy for stede to love him, and stede wouldn’t dream of demanding ed say it back. hope, dream? want? oh yeah. we all want that shit.
...honestly, here's what my soul really wants: what i think ed probably wanted, when he left that afternoon with jack. the romance movie moment, the big declaration. the moment when somebody takes the risk and says: wait. i need you: don’t go.
if stede goes to leave and ed calls him back, open to trying again even if he’s not fully ready to trust again, that seems right to me. heal the mistakes of their past, do it right this time.
once more, self-aware and with feeling!!!!
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