#and my inability to trust anyone i meet.. too

[theheirofthesharingan]

Itachi says a lot of things that I take with a pinch of salt because he's lying/has some sort of bias/isn't telling the complete truth or there's a subtexually relevant aspect to be considered in addition to what he's saying/not saying. In short, he isn't a reliable narrator even to tell his own story. But this.. this part right here makes me roll my eyes the most.

I stopped listening to anyone else.

It is funny because he didn't have people who would have given him a sound advice his entire life. Danzo, Hiruzen, and Fugaku aren't those people certainly. I doubt growing up with the Akatsuki members and listening to them would have benefited him in any way. This also resulted in what he says next: I stopped trusting anyone.

If Sasuke's flashbacks are any accurate reflection of how Itachi's life was, we know he lived a solitary life before the massacre as well, which made Danzo prey upon him even more easily. Itachi was definitely deluded. He lied to himself a lot. His entire judgment was clouded by his trauma and the experiences that he made one big mistake: not seeing things from Sasuke's perspective until it was too late.

His lack of trust on people was the outcome of people failing him. He carried missions on his own, was left to handle things that would require emotional support from adults as a child (Shisui's death, for example). A kid like that would grow up with trust issues. If he's arrogant there is a good reason for this. His inability to listen to others was the result of the people actively refusing to offer him any support.

However, I don't think he's being modest here. He did fail. He isn't trying to be a "better person" here. He's very much honest. He failed and he can't fix what he's broken. He's dead too. Admission of his wrong doings, acknowledging he doesn't deserve forgiveness, however, does make him an admirable person. This is the kind of growth that's hard because he spent his entire life living and protecting it.

He doesn't care about his legacy. He's okay even if Sasuke destroys it all, never forgives him. To him what matters is that Sasuke should live a better life than he did. They'll never meet again, and he doesn't want Sasuke to be haunted by his shadow, although he knows he'll always be present in some way. He wants Sasuke to trust Naruto, while also making his own decisions, even if it means all that he lived for is gone forever. Even if Sasuke brutally rejects all that Itachi hoped he would protect.

This is why his arc is so brilliant.

#itachi #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi

[stomach-bugg09]

what about neteyam bringing home someone (romantic) and fali and y/n just teasing the shit out of them in front of the family😭😭

summary: [y/n] knows neteyam’s big secret.

a/n: okay i’m actually crying this is so short but so sweet. like not only does it embody fali and [y/n]’s dynamic , but it’s a strong example of how much [y/n] loves her baby siblings. she would do anything for them , despite how much she teases them. i hope you all enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing !! reblogs + feedback are always appreciated !!

tags: @rafeslovergirl @wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @itssiaaax @grierpilots @fleurbeass @23victoria @nyotamalfoy

warnings: literally nothing, sm fluff, the cutest thing i have possibly ever written, healthy sibling relationships

words: 895 ( sorry y’all , it’s much shorter than i meant , but i didn’t wanna ruin it by adding too much !! )

baby brother’s got a girl

not once in her life could [y/n] have imagined any of her baby brothers bagging a girl.

sure, they had their father’s genes, but they also had their father’s stupidity, a trait that was communicated through their inability to woo any girl their age. trust me when i say that [y/n] has witnessed a multitude of failed attempts, especially back when they still lived in high camp.

as long as she knew her brothers, which was for about fourteen to sixteen years—roughly—she also knew they were a hot commodity based on their mere titles as the sons of the toruk makto. that always crashed and burned as soon as they talked due to the unfortunate fact that boys were just too awkward to flirt back.

that’s why [y/n] was absolutely floored when she found out lo'ak's attempts with tsireya were actually successful.

hey, she supposed. anything can happen in awa’atlu, right? i mean, i found love, which was thought impossible just a year ago.

but, there was a difference between impossible and just out of this goddamn world. it was just a few days ago that [y/n] realized, not only did lo’ak have a girl of his own, but neteyam did.

neteyam, of course, had no idea that [y/n] knew. he was trying to keep it a secret. only until they were, well, official past the mutual flirting stage. he also thought that he was being sly… he was not!

it was one night when, after neytiri and jake left to go meet up with some of the clan’s adults for some social thing ( the metkayina loved to party ), neteyam quietly tip-toed past where [y/n] laid stretched out on the ground, admiring the ceiling in complete and utter boredom.

“where are you going, bro?” [y/n] sat up with a grin.

he froze immediately, eyes closing in frustration. “uh, just… out.” neteyam slowly turned towards her with an innocent smile.

“out?” she questioned, eyes widening in amusement. when he only nodded, she pushed herself up off the ground, standing on her two feet. “so, this has nothing to do with ipey?”

“shit,” he cursed, head dropping in defeat.

“ahah!” [y/n] declared, pointing at him. at the sound of the rest of their siblings shifting in their sleep, she immediately quieted down. “ahah,” she repeated in a whisper.

“[y/n],” he bagged quietly, walking towards her and grabbing her shoulders. “please do not tell anyone. please!” neteyam pulled her in, nose to nose, and [y/n] had to keep herself from breaking into laughter. “i do not need mom and dad up my ass about this right now.”

[y/n] bit her bottom lip in amusement. “aw, poor baby boy and his private life.” neteyam only gave her an unamused look. “okay, okay!” [y/n] stepped backwards, hands raised in mock defense. “your secret’s safe with me.”

“thank you,” neteyam breathed out, relief flooding his voice.

“but!” he looked back up, eyes flaring in concern. “only if you don’t mind fali and me just… taking a casual stroll on the beach, maybe keeping an eye out for disobedient teenagers.”

“are you kidding?”

[y/n] only smiled. “not in the slightest!” at that, fali stepped out from the doorway where he’d been standing for the past few minutes to listen to the discussion.

“don’t worry, bud, we’re just gonna be out there to keep our favorite sully boy from doing anything gross.” fali grinned deviously.

at the same time that neteyam protested, “you are disgusting,” lo’ak’s voice called from where he slept. “hey!”

neteyam’s jaw-dropped at that. “now lo’ak knows?”

[y/n] only laughed. “oh, please, he already knew.”

“yeah!” he yelled from the back of the marui. “i’m the one who told [y/n] and fali in the first place.”

“he also told the rest of us,” kiri mumbled with a tired huff. tuk hummed in agreement.

neteyam dropped his head in defeat. “i hate all of you. like, every single one of you. so, so much.”

“aw, you don’t mean that, little brother!” [y/n] cried teasingly as he spun around and stomped out the door. “you love us!”

“stay safe, make good choices!” fali echoed, the couple laughing as he only shook his head, shoulders tense and full of annoyance.

they only watched from the dock as he made his way across the beach, disappearing once he turned the corner. [y/n] smiled from where she leaned against fali, his arm wrapped around her in comfort.

“you think he’s gonna be okay?” fali wondered quietly.

[y/n] only chuckled. “i hope so. i cannot handle a heart-broken neteyam. that would be, like, the worst thing in the entire world.”

“is it because you love your brother so much?” fali teased.

“uh, no,” she replied dryly. “it’s because i don’t want to deal with tears and snot.”

fali dropped her head back, letting out a loud stream of laughter at that. the vibrations of his chest sent a smile across [y/n]’s face, her body melting into his embrace even more.

“oh, please,” he whispered once he calmed down. “you would drop anything to make sure he’s okay.”

“i hate when you’re right.”

with that, he pressed a kiss on top of her head. “and yet, here we are.”

she nodded slowly, closing her eyes and leaning her head against him. “here we are.”

#avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #neteyam sully #loak sully #sully family x reader #sully family x y/n #tuk sully #tuktirey #sully family #kiri sully #sully siblings x reader #sully!reader #fali x reader

[wingsdippedingold]

Just my opinion but I don't think the inner circle should exist as a political group that helps their BEST FRIEND lead an entire court. Reasons why:1)They are his friends so he would most likely believe their version of events instead of another person's2) biased behaviour3) they act like literal children and can't behave civil unless it's with each other4) do they actually have political experience bc half their court Hayes them and they do whatever they want. ( More reasons I can't think of atm but ygiI'm not saying that rhysand can't have people he trusts within his council but he should also have mature and experienced members who will give him good advice and won't act like a group of toddlers. He gave his friends far too much authority and freedom to act however they want. Nesta's treatment is proof that if they collectively don't like someone they will put said person through hell.Just my opinion tho, to each their own yk

And I completely agree 😭😭

Velaris is the real CoN. Court of Nepotism

Cassian and Azriel are both revered as great warriors and like super talented so whatever with them ig. But Amren? She’s useless. Morrigan’s job could go to literally anyone (don’t even get me started on the shitty “she’s a dreamer” stuff they pull as an excuse to not save anyone else from the CoN).

3) YES OMG THAT HIGH LORD MEETING WAS A MESS

4) they in fact do not. Rhysand I can understand initially because his father died abruptly, but it’s been like 409 years and he’s still an idiot.

Also he placed Cas and Az in power immediately too, so it was nepotism because there is no way they were the greatest compared to his father’s underlings. I cant remember if this is right but I’m pretty sure he like immediately got rid of his father’s advisors, which is such a dumb idea as a fresh high lord with no experience.

And for the last point they’re treatment of Nesta does totally show their immaturity and inability to not have gripping control over everything. Feyre being upset and embarrassed about her sister pissed me off so much, and there’s 0 way she’s qualified to be a high lady. Rhysand literally let’s his little knife happy Cassian run wild and is like “I know he literally obliterated part of the summer court but we forced our soldiers on to their territory that they said they didn’t want so we should be okay 🙄”

Sorry this is rushed because I totally agree and needed to brain dump 😭

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti sarah j maas #anti rhysand #anti inner circle #sjm critical #Anti cassian #anti azriel #anti amren #anti Morrigan #anti mor #anti ic

[isfjmel-phleg]

Regarding the recent discussion of blaming unmarried women in their thirties for everything that's wrong with society--this is my specific, personal experience on the matter.

I am an unmarried Baptist woman in my early thirties. I have never dated, have never been interested in anyone (beyond a weird crush in college that was less an attraction and more me trying to convince myself I was normal), am not looking for anyone, and have no intention of getting married in the foreseeable future.

Churches, in my experience, have no idea what to do with someone like this. A single woman is already suspect enough but one who isn't pathetic and pining about it? Clearly one of those selfish feminists (which is of course the Worst Insult Of All for a woman, besides calling her a woman instead of a lady) who will never get to know what Real Love is. Oh, and the birth rate is going down alarmingly, and we all know whose fault that is. Don't worry, God has someone out there for you. You just haven't found the right one yet. We're praying for your future husband. A Nice Godly Young Man™. My mom proudly reminds me that she has never pressured me to marry but then tells me things like if I decide I don't want to get married, what if someone comes along and I miss my chance? Or she'll try to reassure me that marriage isn't terrible.

I don't think marriage is terrible. In fact, I take marriage very seriously. That's why I'm not married. It's a huge deal to put that kind of trust in someone and to do so permanently (ideally). There's a lot of risk. People can seem nice but turn out to be not what you thought they were (this happened to my best friend, who married a man who turned out to be a p*rn addict who had no interest in correcting this sin and saving their marriage), and then you--and your children, if you have any by then--can get badly, irretrievably hurt. I wouldn't want to marry anyone whom I wasn't absolutely convinced was worthy of my trust. And quite frankly, I haven't encountered any guy who fits that description.

...because as far as I can tell, my super-traditional denomination doesn't tend to always raise its boys well (exceptions do exist, but I'm generalizing from what I've seen). These Nice Godly Young Men™ often come with a lot of emotional immaturity. A lot of inability to connect with women--we act like men and women are such different creatures that they can never truly relate to each other or share interests and besides, you ladies shouldn't be friends with guys anyway because it inevitably leads to sexual interest--and yet somehow they expect us to meet and connect enough to marry! There's a lot of ego and macho posturing and expectation of being the head Supreme Dictator of the household. And I don't want that. I don't want to be stuck with a man who expects me to be less intelligent than him. I don't want a man who wants to be a sort of combination of father and boss and military commander whom I am obligated to sleep with. I don't want a man who would see me as just a means to an end.

Are there men of reasonably comparable beliefs to my own who aren't like this? Sure, probably. But I'm not going to hold my breath for one even if I were interested in a marital relationship.

I wouldn't want to get married just because it's expected. Or because I'm afraid of being alone. Or because I think it will make me a Real Adult. Or because I want babies (not older children or teenagers or eventual adults--just cute, cuddly babies). Or because some guy comes along who's Nice Enough so I might as well. Or because everyone else is doing it and I need to be in the Wife/Mom Club too. Or because I'm a woman so I Have To. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to either me or the man I would marry to enter into something so binding, so serious, on such flimsy pretexts. I would much, much rather be married to no one at all--which really isn't a dreadful fate at all!--than married for the wrong reason and have to live with those regrets.

God, for his own purposes, has not given me a desire for marriage, and I fully accept this. If that changes, he will make it clear to me. If there's someone out there who is genuinely good and kind and mature and wants a Rebekah (not just A Wife--any Nice girl will do for that--but me specifically as a whole human being) and needs to be in my life, well, God can make that happen, I guess. But honestly, I don't need this mythical creature to be happy. I have a family. I have friends. It's taken a long time but I'm becoming better at believing my friends really love me. And that means a lot. I am loved. I have purpose. A different purpose from many others' but still worthwhile.

I do struggle a lot with feeling silently compared to the women around me who have done the Good Baptist Girl thing, and I do wish that people in churches treated single women with the same regard as married ones. But even though that's hard, that doesn't change anything about how God feels about us.

So this whole thing of blaming unmarried women in their thirties for everything that's wrong with society? It's not that these women are ungodly. It's that we have high standards, and our culture is at a place where we don't have to just take what we can get to survive anymore. It's not ungodly to take marriage seriously enough to not just settle but rather hold out for someone who can best model what God really expects a good husband to be--or else find meaning and value in the life of a single person, nonetheless much beloved by the most loving and trustworthy one of all.

#random personal stuff #back on my soapbox feel free to ignore #hopefully this makes sense? I have a hard time articulating what I mean when I feel strongly about something

[velarisvalkyrie]

HOFAS Spoilers: What I Liked vs What I Didn't

Disclaimer: I just need someone to process this with. Usually, I enjoy my entertainment quietly and don't feel the need to make public posts but I need someone to process this book with lol. Anything you disagree with me about is 100% okay!!! I'm not one to argue or put down opinions in fandoms. I'm just curious if anyone else is sharing similiar feelings as me.

What I Did Enjoy:

Bryce flicking peas down to the beasts below her holding cell. It was so on brand of her and funny to me.

Bryce having to explain what a cell phone was.

Nesta and Azriel's friendship. I know this is a CC book and I won't dwell too much on the ACOTAR crossover. However, Nesta and Azriel's friendship has always been one of my favorites and there were sooo many cute moments between them. That hug after she uses the mask??? That hug and him stroking her hair broke something in me then hit the repair button.

Bryce really snatched Az's favorite kitchen knife and jumped in a crystal coffin back home. Iconic.

Hunt, Baxian and Ruhn holding onto their brotherhood in the dungeons through humor. Trying to keep one another from breaking. Acknowledging one another in the darkest of times they endured together. They really tried so hard to keep each other from losing all hope.

Hunt thinking of Bryce to keep moving onward. Thinking of how she brought him so much joy. Calling her his mate and his wife and his princess (I love terms of endearment so personally stuff like this sends me melting).

Hunt calling Bryce his best friend :c

Lidia saving the boys like the badass that she is and doing it with a well thought out plan coordinated with Dec and Flynn and all those lovely sprites.

Confirmation that Lidia is related to Aelin. I sobbed. I already expected it but when I got to that chapter of the book I started sobbing uncontrolllably. Aelin would be so proud of Lidia for working to bring the Asteri down by any means necessary and protecting who she loves and cares for so deeply.

Sprites. No explanation needed.

I really liked Flynn this book!!! I saw a side of him that I did not get to see much of in HOEAB or HOSAB. Flynn was really considerate, protective, and remained mindful of circumstances and adapted to them.

Dec deserves several awards for his hacking skills.

Hunt's Daddies lol what a fascinating concept of Hunt also essentially being "Made" and coming from Hel

JESIBA 😭 Jesiba and her love for Bryce and her respect and just - I cried so much because Jesiba always knew what Bryce needed. She was tough love and really kept Bryce moving forward after Danika died. So for Jesiba to step up and finally be at peace while also saving Bryce was so emotional to me.

Ruhn and Lidia finally having that beer together.

Baxian in a panic cuz flying horses lol

Bryce getting to see her real life JJ - I would also be thrilled to see flying horses.

What I Did Not Enjoy:

Tharion's entire storyline irritated me. I'm sorry to Tharion fans but I just could not find it in myself to connect to his storyline in this book. His inability to make a decision and face the consequences had me grinding my teeth especially if his actions put other people in danger.

Bryce vs Nesta and Azriel. While I love all three of these characters, I did not love all of them together when it became very apparent nothing good was coming from their meeting. Both sides were valid in not fully trusting one another but it really felt as though Bryce was written as the excuse to expose Az and Nesta to new information. Like it all felt very strange.

Ithan and Sigrid. Why introduce Sigrid at all only for her to be killed so quickly??? She was built up to be this key role that would change everything for the wolf shifters but ends up dead by the end of Part 1. Also Ithan didn't truly have a well rounded character arc to me. It was very much: Ithan makes poorly thought out choice. Ithan doesn't like the outcome. Ithan feels heavy guilt. Ithan tries to fix it. Ithan makes a larger mess. Ithan makes poorly thought out choice - like it was the same loop until somehow he is the new Prime ????? How is he going to make wise choices and assert leadership over an entire pack when he can't even do so for himself.

Bryce dismissing Hunt's trauma. I understand a lot was going on and she needed him focused but like Hunt, Baxian and Ruhn were put through a lot of pain. The physical torture was brutal. The mental exhaustion of trying not to let your mind shatter from such torment had to be hard. Trying to keep your emotions from getting the best of you. And yet Bryce wanted him to just move on and do what she needed asap. She could have at least told him that she knows he is hurting and she wants to provide her support and proper attention when they are in the right circumstances that she can offer it. When they aren't being chased down or fighting enemies or surrounded by their friends.

Everyone moving on way too quickly from Hunt, Baxian and Ruhn being in those dungeons. They siffered a lot and everyone moved on so fast as if they weren't carrying some heavy shit on their shoulders and in their thoughts.

Characters thinking about sex so often amongst all the stress, battle, and life altering decision making. Like ? We are in a very important part of this journey. A huge battle is on the rise and lives are at risks and somehow all of you are thinking this much about being with your partners? That is so unrealistic. There is a time and place for that type of intimacy and connection with your special person and SJM wrote those moments in the strangest circumstances and places that it became annoying.

Bryce and her attitude toward the Fae. I was very disappointed im the way Bryce generalized all of the Fae and was considering not doing anything for them after defeating the Asteri. It took away from some of her potential character growth and as much as she hates the Fae she is half Fae herself and there are others like her who need someone in their corner. Her whole conversation with Flynn's sister where she goes on and on about how awful Fae are and they don't deserve to be united really turned me off. I know Bryce had terrible experiences but to generalize everyone because of those experiences and consider doing nothing when she could start the chain reaction toward positive change for the Fae who want to do better and be better was a turn off. I found myself not liking her a lot through the story which is sad cuz I liked Bryce in the previous 2 books so much but in HOFAS she kept disappointing me with some of her thoughts and emotions. It was like she was stunting her own character growth.

Lidia having kids. Why? Why does everyone need children? I don't say that hatefully either! Personally, I love children and I also support anyone's choice to have kids or not to have kids. However, there was no real reason to throw in twins to Lidia's storyline. I don't see how that progresses the plot and it almost felt like writing that she is a mother is a security blanket to make others feel more comfortable with the choices she made when she was The Hind. I'll be so honest, if Lidia just flat out admitted she always intended to be a double agent or she just realized how bad the system was I would have accepted that. Having this plot twist of having twins had me tilting my head.

Did anyone else feel like Lidia became more withdrawn and started leaning into stereotypical traits? Am I the only one who felt like her character in HOFAS was vastly different than how we saw her as Daybright in HOSAB?

Autumn King. I didn't need him to have redemption but it is strange to have scattered a few hints in HOEAB and in HOSAB and even in HOFAS that perhaps the Autumn King cared about his kids at some level and that he had some regrets with Bryce and Ember only for him to be the absolute worst. Personally, just keep him a consistent villian. I already didn't like him for how he abused Ruhn and Bryce, but there were small moments where SJM had me thinking: ... maybe this is an act? Maybe he cares and thinks he is preparing them for the way they may be treated by enemies in the only way he knows how? No! Nope! He was just as awful as I initially thought.

Tharion's marriage. Sooooooo out of nowhere. I couldn't even root for them because the whole time I was thinking about how Tharion had the River Queen, Ocean Queen and Viper Queen all wanting his ass handed to them on a silver tray, fins and all. Like ??? And you just married this girl without considering your enemies might hear the news and snatch her up as a way to play on your guilt, hero complex, and impulse. Like I'll root for this couple when Tharion is less foolish.

#hofas spoilers #hofas #bryce quinlan #hunt athalar #crescent city

[squeakintothevoid]

I decided to stop lurking and actually post my thoughts somewhere because of my man Larry here, who shared his reaction to "The Sound of Silence" covered by Disturbed. I've listened to the original by Simon & Garfunkel before but didn't pay much attention to the words. I mean, it's just that memed depression song, right?

What folly! I have failed ye, Simon & Garfunkel! But Disturbed's video made me pay attention to the obvious message:

“This is a song about the inability of people to communicate with each other"

—Art Garfunkel

Okay, I get the point. Now, if I may, I will disturb the sound of silence (ha) to share my own thoughts while I was listening to the song:

[Verse 1] Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains within the sound of silence

Let me give you some context about my life. I have social anxiety. Or did, I might not meet the criteria anymore. But woah boy, did I have social anxiety. I mean, sometimes I'd try to speak and simply could not make a sound. That's how paralyzing my fear of speaking was. I know now that this fear came from being either A) ridiculed or B) ignored whenever I spoke to my parents plus a heaping of religious trauma. Growing up, I'd hear teachers or friends say it's okay, just say what you want, be yourself. Sure, whatever. *eyeroll* I don't even have anything to say and if I did, why would I risk telling anyone? But that positive messaging still seeped in my brain somehow where it remained dormant.

[Verse 2] In restless dreams, I walked alone Narrow streets of cobblestone 'Neath the halo of a street lamp I turned my collar to the cold and damp When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light That split the night, and touched the sound of silence

Of course, I still had thoughts and emotions to say even though I kept them inside. At age 10, I considered myself like a wise sage, only speaking when necessary, but really I was emotionally stunted and always afraid. I slowly learned how to socialize though, but real progress was made when I started gaining confidence and trust in myself. Mainly because of movies and music, hence the title of my blog.

More context about me: I was raised Mormon (Latter-day saint). So like, in a cult. Or a "high-demand religion" if "cult" is too much of a buzzword for ya. Anyway, I ended up attending BYU, a Mormon college that will kick you out for not conforming to their strict "honor" code. I was understandably depressed while I was there. Except I didn't understand why at the time.

Then my eyes were stabbed by the neon light of Freddie Mercury.

For real though, Queen, among other artists, helped me see that I felt stuck, and that the next step on my hero's journey was to break free from Mormonism and my parent's expectations (and somehow not get expelled and homeless at the same time). To have confidence in myself and keep myself alive.

[Verse 3] And in the naked light I saw Ten thousand people, maybe more People talking without speaking People hearing without listening People writing songs that voices never shared And no one dared disturb the sound of silence

So now I was aware of how sinister and blatantly false Mormonism was. In a university full of devout followers that will tattle on you. Followers only talking about what they're allowed to talk about, and anyone who stands out is shut down. Everything seemed so platitudinous and hateful now. Man, I wasn't ever thinking for myself before, was I? I knew there were other people at BYU in my situation, because they said so on reddit, but I didn't dare make my thoughts known to anyone in person.

[Verse 4] "Fools," said I, "You do not know Silence like a cancer grows Hear my words that I might teach you Take my arms that I might reach you" But my words, like silent raindrops, fell And echoed in the wells of silence

Simon speaks like a prophet. In Mormonism, you have a prophet that claims to be speaking the words of God. So like, you gotta listen to him or go to hell. Actually, Mormons don't really have the same idea of hell as mainstream Christianity, but you definitely won't get into the special VIP top level of heaven if you don't shut up and obey the prophet with exactness. Prophets give you commandments. Prophets tell you to give all your time, talents, and money to the LDS church. (Although they only enforce giving 10% of your income.)

But Simon isn't really speaking to tell you what to do and not do. He, like most artists, is trying to reach out to you. To emotionally express himself and encourage others to do the same. It's a refreshing idea of what a prophet could be. He's calling us fools not because we are sinners, but because he wants to share what he has learned. His writing isn't to make a cash grab. But catchy music that can be echoed in the background tends to get the best sales.

[Verse 5] And the people bowed and prayed To the neon god they made And the sign flashed out its warning In the words that it was forming And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls And whispered in the sound of silence"

Most people see the "neon god" line as a critique of consumerism, and I wouldn't disagree. It's sad that television and music in many ways raised me better than my parents, that the religious texts that promised me spiritual awakening didn't have shit on Freddie's whimsical ballads. But these "neon signs" are what saved me.

Following fandoms, lurking on tumblr, sending superwholock memes to my friends, watching stupid youtube crack videos, staying up late just vibing to the music I had. These are my prophets. It's sharing all these little pop culture things that culminated in me finally realizing that I'm alright as I am, even with my cringe hyperfixations. That maybe I can slowly learn how to speak my truth and say with a newfound sense of confidence that I do want extra ketchup. Or that I'm rejecting my parent's one true religion.

It's all good now, I never got expelled nor disowned as I feared, but I'm still healing from things. I can't say I'm a beacon of self-confidence either (right now, I'm worried this whole post is too long and pretentious). So if you took the time to read this, thanks! I know tumblr can be a hellscape of a site but I appreciate y'all. It's our little ramblings that get us through the day when we feel like nobody understands us. Here's to the whispers in the tenement halls!

Yes, I did shoehorn a spn gif in my first tumblr post, what are ya gonna do about it?

#sound of silence #the sound of silence #disturbed #simon & garfunkel #simon and garfunkel #freddie mercury #queen band #song lyrics #song reaction #song interpretation #lyrics #lyric analysis #music analysis #exmormon #what it means to me #music is therapy #ex mormon #exlds #exmo #deconstruction #religious trauma

[writer-ann-artist]

5 Years to Grieve, 5 Years to Love

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Summary: 5 years, 5 years is how long we've lived without my brother and father. Now my brother is home and I couldn't be happier, after all we're twins. But he has secrets, things he won't tell us. I want to make his transition into home life better so I give him his space, and hopefully I can keep my secret safe.

»»————-　♔　————-««

"No don't go, stay." I roll over away from the sunlight and face the man I have fallen for.

"I wish I could, but I've been gone all day and night. I'm sure Ollie is missing me, Thea, too." I draw unseen images upon his bare chest.

"Fine leave me all alone." I'm dramatically pushed as my lover rolls away from my touch. I giggle at his theatrics. Worming my way back to his front I nuzzle into his neck.

"Oh, Malcolm. What will I do with you." He moves his head away from mine, but before I can pout he gives my nose a light kiss.

"Love me."

"Unconditionally." Is my response.

»»————-　♔　————-««

I made it home before anyone else, well except Walter. He decided to visit our home before Mom came. Only for me to see his gift for her behind his back. I wink at him in understanding so he knows I won't tell Mom. Prepping my face and body for the day, I find the perfect clothes and make my way downstairs. I find Tommy and the whole family in the foyer.

"Sweetie you made it home. How was your night?" Mom asked as she gave me a hug and forehead kiss.

"I'm sorry, I got busy." I told her honestly, my original plan was a short visit to see my 'friend'. Tommy hits Ollie's shoulder announcing he was going to talk.

"Oh yes busy, who you were so invested in conversation."

"At least I have friends outside of family." He fakes pain and holds his chest.

"Ow, dang. You don't have to go so hard." I couldn't help my giggle at seeing his theatrics.

"You're such a dork."

»»————-　♔　————-««

Tommy made plans for Oliver and says I absolutely, have to go. At least my inability to socialize will be something that hasn't changed for Oliver. Before we could leave mom tells me that my flowers were delivered.

"Oh, yes! Thank you! Would it be a problem to have someone put them in my room for me?"

"Of course, sweetie. They are already on the way." I quickly ran up and kissed her on her cheek. Then made my way out the door to meet Oliver in Tommy's car. As soon as I was in the car Tommy waved to our mom and drove straight to town. As he drove he explained to Oliver all that he missed. I had the impression that Oliver wasn't too interested in what Tommy was talking about. So I gave him my hand over his right shoulder so Tommy wouldn't see. But then he noticed the silence.

"Are you two doing your twin telephone thing? Cause I'm feeling left out."

"It's telepathy, Tommy." He made a mocking face at me through his rear mirror.

"It's annoying. Come on talk! You've been gone for five years be curious, be excited, something please." There was only a short pause before Oliver spoke again.

"So who is this mystery man of yours?"

"Ah, you see Ollie. That is the million-dollar question. No one knows and she won't answer." Tommy spoke for me making the situation sound worse than it was.

"Is that so?" Oliver squeezed my hand making me look at the side of his face.

"I'm not being selfish, trust me, Ollie. It's better if no one knows." I had to stop myself from mumbling.

"It's ok, tell me when you're ready." My twin rubbed my hand soothing my worry about him thinking the worst.

"See Tommy, that's how you're supposed to react."

"Now that's not fair he can read your mind." Oliver asked Tommy to stop at our father's old factory.

"I don't know why you want to be here Ollie, it's depressing." I felt the same way as Tommy, but not for the same reason. The last time I was here my father was alive.

"I wanted to see something familiar." Before I could comfort Oliver a van pulled up and a stinging sensation shot through my neck. My surroundings quickly turned to black, and my hearing dulled into silence.

»»————-　♔　————-««

I woke up to me and someone laying down beside me. There were deep voices saying words I couldn't make out. Along with the voices popping and grunting could be heard. My vision cleared enough to see Oliver's blonde hair. He was away from me sitting up. Dark figures surrounded him, hurting him in some way as his head would move in quick motions. I can't get anything out of it as my vision fails me. I fall back into the darkness only to wake up in my living room. Mom cradling my head, Thea holding my legs, and Ollie sitting in front of me.

"My everything hurts, what happened." I groaned hearing how raspy my voice became. Ollie held a glass of water for me. I smiled at the bendy straw.

"You were kidnapped sweetie, and the tranquilizer they used had Detomidine." Mom answered me as I sipped from my bendy straw.

"Ew" I heard Tommy's voice from behind my Mom and Thea.

"Tommy, your still here?" I tried to move but instead, my brain did some flips. Mom helped me lay my head back on her lap.

"Had to make sure my best friend was ok."

"Ha beat that Oliver." I tried to wave him off but instead, Oliver caught my water I almost dropped. Once he had removed the water my head stopped spinning. This allowed me to sit up on my own.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked full of worry. I held her hand in mine as I addressed her.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just want to sleep." Thea helped walk me to my room and Oliver followed close behind. Thea layed me down when Ollie spoke.

"Wow! You are really special to someone." I can only laugh into my pillow as I was still very tired. Thea combs my hair out of my face and speaks.

"She is really in love with him, Ollie, I only wish to meet him."

"So no one has met him yet?" I roll on my back and try to look up, but just shut my eyes again.

"It's difficult to explain, but like I said it's for the best." The only reason Mom and Thea know I'm even dating is that he insists on sending me gifts.

"Just sleep, sister please." So I did.

»»————-　♔　————-««

I was grateful, really, for Oliver's insistence on having a party. After he and Dad went missing I haven't had much to look forward to. Not that Thea or Mom did either. But they were able to cope better than I had. I decided to wear a silver floor-length dress. The high slit in the dress made it easy to show off my white pearl strap wedges.

»»————-　♔　————-««

After a family picture for Ollie, I spot Malcolm through the crowd. Calmly and swiftly I turn to my family and dismiss myself.

"I'll be back, I see a few faces I haven't greeted yet." I head in Malcolm's direction but keep my distance. Through our eyes we speak, he leads and I follow. He leads me to an unoccupied hallway in the house. Malcolm turns around letting me walk close to him. Once close enough he opens his arms allowing me to fall into his arms.

"I'm sorry about what happened, angel." He speaks into the crown of my head. His lips pressed into my skin making me hum.

"I'm fine, unfortunately, Ollie had it worse." Before I could pout about Oliver, Malcolm pulls me out of the hug to hold my face in his hands.

"Yes, but I care about you more. You look beautiful, my love." He stares into my eyes, saying so much more than his words. At least I think he is.

"And you are looking dashing tonight, Merlyn. Now is that for me or the family." He chuckles and wraps his empty arms around me. The gift bag on his occupied wrist taps my body as it sways from his movements.

"Oh my love, ever so eager. Yes, it is for you and your family's gift is with the others." I blush as he stares into my eyes.

"You shouldn't have." Though I'm in heels I still need to lean up on my toes to kiss this man.

"Please wait to open it later tonight. It's special." He spoke against my lips. Oh, how weak he makes me. Only for him though, no one else can make me feel the things he can.

"Oh my gosh, Malcolm! Next week.."

"Is our fourth anniversary." He sways with me as all I can do is stare lovingly at him. His hand reaches my face and he speaks in a whisper.

"I hate keeping you hidden in my life." I lean into his hand. I hate it just as much.

"I know, would it be so bad now? After so long?" I know my lip is pouting out. I can't help it as I look up to Malcolm.

"I don't know, but your brother being back may make it difficult. Not to mention the recent attack on you both." I hum sadly into his shoulder as we sway. I slowly pull away and look at the man.

"I should put my gift in its proper place." As I walk backward pulling his hands with me as he stays put. Once both our arms are outstretched I make a move to hold his hands. At the last second, I snag my gift off his wrist.

"Always so formal. I'll see you later." My lover chuckled at my actions as I moved further away from him.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Later that night in my bedroom. I almost run into my room when I was finally able to retire to bed. Behind closed doors, I kick off my shoes and beeline to Malcolm's gift. I take the card out of the bag and begin to read his handwritten sentiment.

'To my love, my light, the best thing in my life. I wish you everything the world I can give. For now, I give you this, I think you will like it. From your glorious lover, Malcolm.'

"Oh my gosh, Malcolm. What did you do now?" I open the paper bag to find many prices of tissue and black rose petals. Finally, a black velvet box falls out.

"You would think I have enough jewelry."

"I think you will make an exception this time." I nearly jumped out of my skin and on my ankle. It did hurt a bit, but nothing I wasn't used to.

"Oh my god! You can't do that! I almost died." He only laughed and stepped closer to me. He is really good at hiding in plain sight. Once close to me, he grabbed hold of my hand.

"My sweetness." He moved his hands to hold mine and the box.

"You need to be aware of your surroundings,.."

"I know, I know. I live a high-profile life and being kidnapped twice just proves that I need eyes in the back of my head." I hold in my scoff as he neals down and holds the box up.

"Malcolm."

"Please my love, let me talk before you panic. I never thought I could love again. Especially after Rebecca,.."

"Malcolm,.."

"My beloved, again. I have learned to love you. You as you, not you you showed the world or your family. The true unfiltered, you. I know at first we were just looking for something physical, but I fell for you. And I fell hard, and I know you feel the same. So my light, my love. Please say you'll be my wife." I lean into Malcolm and sit on his knee. I remove one hand of mine and hold his neck. I lean forward and right before I kiss him I give home my answer.

"Yes, Malcolm." When our lips touch he slides the ring onto my finger. We pull apart and I breathe out my words.

"I love you."

"I love you, my light."

#🖤🔪🐈‍⬛shyanns #arrow cw #malcolm merlyn #malcolm x reader #merlyn x reader #fem reader #cw arrow #malcolm merlyn x reader #reader not described #if you find the reader has a name please tell me #it started as a self-indulgent peice #don't shame me

[hypervoxel]

My go-to Vox warning tag for fics is “Masochism That Borders On Self-Harm”.

I agree with ace-spectrum Vox but I don’t know where exactly I’d place him on the spectrum.

Something something, the inability to willingly shed any of the masks and personas you’ve lived your life as. The insecurity in an already shaky sense of self and the need to be desired even as nothing more than a bleeding piece of meet. The intimacy of someone *taking* everything him, leaving him hollow and still coming back for more. The inherent intimacy of violence

Oh that's a good tag, I will totally steal that one day. My only fic is tagged "Consensual non-consent" followed immediately by "Consent Issues" because I could not think of an actual descriptor for them. Not safe, not sane, and these people do not care what consent even is. Oh, the inherent intimacy of violence indeed..... <3

Yesss, Vox is so incredibly fake and he doesn't know how to be anything else. He is his mask. He wants someone to want him for who he is, but there's nothing underneath! Just meat and wires!

I also very much headcanon Vox as autistic/ADHD and doing the most to mask that too. He's faking every social interaction, and he knows people can tell. He feels so much, but he also feels like his emotions aren't real. Swinging wildly from emotional numbness/disassociation to feeling everything. There's nothing to him, until suddenly he can't fit in his own body. And also I'm always thinking about physically disabled Vox who has so much internalized ableism. He does his best to fake being "normal" in every way. He can't let anyone see him for what he is, because they would think him worthless. He's Vox; he's perfect. Trust is everything to his brand, and you can only trust perfection. He yearns for a chance to let go of that and relax, to be forced to let go because he can't relax on his own. He always has to be in control.

And of course we talked on Discord about the purity culture/internalized homophobia, "I'm not allowed to want this. I can't enjoy it on my own, I can't be given the choice, it needs to be forced on me," attitude towards sex.

[slaps Vox's TV head] this bad boy can fit so much trauma in it!!!!

#i don't know what I'm typing anymore this is all steam of consciousness #let's talk more about that TV box being so bad at life that he became a robot in death!!!! #he's everything to me

[umflowers]

honestly i hope bustamante loses all her sponsorship and is booted from the sport so people in this fucking fandom stop talking about what she did bc y'all cannot be trusted handling caring about ableism and i'm so angry i'm dissociating like i feel like i'm being sucked backward out of my body bc my nervous system cannot handle the strength of my anger and is noping on out it's either more important that wittle wancey got his feelings hurt, or i shouldn't care that she's ableist bc she has a vagina and is a person of color and ableism is at the bottom of your list of -isms that matter HOW does the world continuously forget what ableism actually looks like, how do you INSIST on forgetting about sanitariums, CENTURIES of disabled and chronically ill and autistic and neurodivergent people being locked in stone prisons to wither and die of starvation and neglect in puddles of their own piss and shit and vomit covered in excruciating bed sores and bug bites, abandoned to their fate by families who only saw them as an inconvenience, beaten and raped by trained medical professionals who saw them as less than human, all of society measuring our worth as human beings based on our inability to be productive and reducing their perception of us to parasites leeching off the world we live in when we don't meet their standard disabled people living on the fucking street because we can't work, already in more pain than the average person can conceive of in a comfortable life, sleeping on the fucking pavement in the rain and snow and wind, begging for scraps and getting sneered at by people who would rather die than have to live one day with our norm the first group the nazis came for were the disabled. before they ever built concentration camps, before they ever came for anyone else, they ran propaganda about how disabled people were a stain on society leeching resources from more deserving (abled) people. they sent out flyers to families with disabled children saying 'hey send them to these facilities, we'll care for them!" and then murdered them by overdose or starvation or both we're the group that are always forgotten, because we're an inconvenient reminder that you could be one of us someday, without warning, without cause, and it's easier to act like our sickness is some kind of moral failing or lack of effort on our part than acknowledging that it can happen to anyone, including you, and it's been costing us our lives and our dignity for centuries but she has a brother with autism that she paraded around as a fucking token and she's a woman of color, so what she did doesn't really matter and anyone who's upset by it is coming down too hard on her and really let's just focus on how this effects lance fucking stroll fuck you

[laf-outloud]

I’m officially sending in my petition to rebrand Walker: Independence as a mystery. I don’t even know where to start this week.

We’ll start with Hoyt. I’m glad this week we returned to Hoyt as a serious man/wily criminal who happens to be funny vs being the comic relief. I was audibly aw-ing throughout the entire exchange between him and Luis. It was so sweet to see that the Reyes’ actually do care for Hoyt, and we got to find out a little bit more about Hoyt’s family. Everyone is so untwined in Independence, it makes for such an interesting story. I died when Hoyt protected the tree stump as a landmark, so funny. Him throwing the fight and passing out on a chance for glory to get money and pull his weight on the ranch was indicative of the kind of man he is (secretly honorable underneath all of the ruffian behavior). And not to skip forward too far, but did anyone else catch the look on Francis’ face when his father mentioned there’s potentially a place for Hoyt at the ranch? I’m wondering if he killed his father in order to keep the ranch for himself, he did not look happy at the prospect of sharing the ranch with Hoyt.

A surprising amount of insight into Kate this episode, though it’s not super obvious. A past affair with her boss (no matter what wording she used with Abby) has me wondering if she used her feminine charms to get her job as a Pinkerton agent. Her inability to see who Hoyt actually is has me thinking that sometimes her self confidence blinds her, and while it’s what the team needs it could be her downfall at some point. Side note: I don’t trust Elliot at all. Between his meeting with the Sheriff and brushing Kate off after it became apparent that she wasn’t interested in sleeping with him, I think Kate might be a free agent soon.

I was not expecting the former sheriff to be Gus’ suspect! I really thought it was going to be Abby. In fact, I wasn’t expecting the former sheriff to make an appearance at all. I had just assumed he was an old man who died. What a character Otis is (or rather was, do we think he survived a shot to the abdomen?). Obviously looks are in the job description for sheriff of Independence, and I appreciate that. The case of who killed Liam Collins that seemed so straightforward has so many twists and turns. Plus now we have even more unanswered questions. And it looks like Abby is going to have to take a little break from that mystery to solve a more pressing one and clearing Calian’s name. A shame that it looked like Gus and Calian’s relationship was on the mend only for another suspicious death to happen. Was Calian hallucinating the little girl and accidentally shot Luis in a trance? Did Francis shoot his father and take advantage of Calian’s state to frame him? Who was that little girl, and what does the town of Independence/Otis have to do with her disappearance? It’s a shame that Calian’s fears about getting involved with the town had come true- he’s framed and behind bars in a world that doesn’t care to understand him or even see him as human. At least he has allies now, but will they be enough? Will his people stand behind him? What’s going through Gus’ brain? Augustus is so hard to read. I have so many questions! What a good cliffhanger.

I fall more in love with Tom Davidson every week. He’s scheming, but not in the way we all originally thought. I think he wants to put his criminal past behind him, become an honest (or as honest as you can be in the west) man, do his aunt/family proud and put Independence on the map. It was so hot when he got in that ring, and he didn’t even have to take his shirt off. What a man. And the way Abby’s presence gave him the strength to get up and got back to fighting? I will do anything for a Tom and Abby slow burn romance!!! His smile when he saw her, and her look of disgust 😍 I’m also so here for a Kai and Tom alliance, those two could effortless run the town. It was so sweet that Tom made sure that Kai got a shout out in the paper alongside him, I love that he sees him as an equal. And I would love to see Kai go from working the railroads to helping run them.

Not a lot of Abby this episode, but everyone is this cast is so good I didn’t really feel her absence. I loved her dress and hair this week, and her horse matching her so well (meaning they’re both beautiful and polished lol). I love that Abby never backs down when the men are trying to protect her. She’s really finding herself. And Kat did such a good job portraying Abby’s heartbreak over her husband not being the man she thought he was. How do you mourn someone you didn’t actually know? How do you avenge the death of a man who may have been just as corrupt as his killer? Is it even worth doing so, or should she officially leave Boston and Liam behind in favor of moving forward? Her life is very promising for a widow (law career that she thought would never be possible as a woman, handsome men, good friends), it’s almost as though she’s better off without him.

And of course the cliffhanger! Tom being stabbed! Clearly there’s a conspiracy going regarding the Independence sheriffs office, and now that Tom is a casualty the previous suspect the Davidson’s aren’t the ones behind it. Nothing is as it seems. I’m assuming Tom lives because Greg has been filming, but it still hit me hard! How am I supposed to wait for next week? How will I survive the holiday season hiatus? This show is so good, it has surpassed all of my expectations and blown me out of the water.

"I’m wondering if he killed his father in order to keep the ranch for himself," Ooh... I hadn't thought of that! (I'm rewatching right now and Hoyt called the father Francis, so Luis is the son.)

Interesting thoughts about Kate and her self-confidence. I have a feeling if there is a downfall, it will be at the expense of a friend and might shake that confidence.

Why do I get the feeling there's an incredibly tragic story behind the little girl. Also, I'm going to have to listen to the conversation about Calian and Gus' backstory (and the references to someone being shot) because I'm reading the biography of Bass Reeves, and as the story goes, he was a slave who ended up in an altercation with his owner and fled (as a runaway slave) to Indian territory where he joined up to fight against the confederacy as a Buffalo Soldier. It sounded like Gus may have a similar story.

I worried about Kai owing Tom, but it sounds like Tom might be the right kind of ally. And I loved Kai offering boxing tips! Tom is a sweetheart that needs to be protected (especially from his scheming relatives.)

I find it interesting that Abby is technically the main protagonist, but I'm so much more enamored of all the other characters. I know Abby's story drives the plot, but I'm afraid I'm losing interest in her... (don't kill me!)

"How will I survive the holiday season hiatus?" I have no clue, because I have a sneaking suspicion they're going to end on a cliffhanger next week.

#ask box #walker: independence #WIndy review #WIndy spoilers #WIndy 1.06 #abigail walker #hoyt rawlins #calian #augustus #kate carver #tom davidson #kai #francis reyes #luis reyes #elliot #bass reeves

[ilthit]

Ruby sent me numbers from the choose violence meme, so here we go!

1 - the character everyone gets wrong - Shen Jiu (Scum Villain's Self-Saving System) 7 - what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? - hate is a strong word but I have mentioned: John Childermass and the Gentleman with the Thistledown Hair (Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell) 22 - your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores - this one is from Mo Dao Zu Shi (the novel)

Full discussion under the cut.

the character everyone gets wrong

Shen Jiu from Scum Villain's Self-Saving System. CAVEAT: You are allowed to write him anyway you like, let him fall into whatever character slot you that pleases your id. I'm not a cop, you do you. I too have even written some SJ fic that I didn't think was in canon character (the Golden Concubine one). But. If you want to be true to the character as he is written in the novel. He is not gay. Sorry. He hates men. Hairy chests make him want to vomit. He's more than a straight guy, he's like a male lesbian. Yue Qingyuan is his soulmate? Maybe, sure, if you want. Yue Qingyuan is such a big simp that Shen Jiu learned to trust him, like he doesn't trust anyone else, and then he sucker-punched that trust right out of him by appearing to have dumped him to pursue personal success. Shen Jiu is an abused, traumatized alley cat, too proud and too fragile to let anyone close. Whenever he's tried to extend a hand to make a connection with another man, such as asking Yue Qingyuan to explain, or protecting Liu Qingge in a fight, those men were unable to respond the right way*, and he immediately retreated back with all spikes out. He has to be the strongest, but he can't. He needs to be in control, but he isn't, even of his own anger and fear. The only time he can rest is in the arms of a woman, or when getting to spoil and protect an innocent girl, someone who is not trying to take his place. Also they're soft and they smell good. And I just think that's valid.

You know how many fics there are with Shen Jiu/female character on AO3? Last time I checked it was two, I think it must be three by now. Honestly, just let Shen Jiu like girls. It's fine.

*Their inability to respond correctly may be part of the critique of toxic masculinity that is a major theme of SVSSS, which is why I quite enjoy the idea that an AU where Shen Yuan meets Shen Jiu, this could change, because while SY certainly has piles of toxic masculinity, he has proven through the narrative to at least be able to respond differently. Shang Qinghua might have done it too, and he tried, but didn't have the power to push through his System and circumstances. That scene in the carriage where he tried to save Shen Jiu is one of my favourite SQH moments, it made me feel for both of them. It still doesn't mean I think canon-compliant SJ would sleep with either of those gross boys.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Hate is a strong word, but I went from feeling vaguely positive about John Childermass, the holder of the braincell in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, to feeling vaguely negative just because the fandom is so much about this one character that I feel like all other characters get pushed aside. I get that to some people it's specifically the Childermass fandom and they wouldn't be here except for Childermass, but… hey.

In the same fandom, I went from being entertainingly creeped out by the Gentleman with the Thistledown Hair to not wanting to read any fic with him in it at all, because I worry that the fic will treat Gentleman/Stephen Black as somehow romantic or desirable and, again, I don't want to judge, but that creeps me out in a way that is no longer entertaining.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

In MDZS the book, aka The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, there is a scene in the extras where Wangxian are enjoying their honeymoon and overhear gossip at the inn where they talk about Nie Huaisang's recent political ascent, and Wei Wuxian muses briefly about how they might not be so happy with him for long, and then decides it's none of his business and he just wants to start living his life now. This is, to me, KEY to the whole story.

In The Untamed, the TV version, Lan Wangji is said to be ascending to the position of chief cultivator, and I am sure this is because on television, they wanted to say: Look, Wen Ruohan was evil, Jin Guangshan was evil, Jin Guangyao was evil--but now a good man will be Chief Cultivator and so everything will be fine!

The book, the author, is saying: It is not possible to be the leader and be a good person. It is not possible for those in control to be benevolent, because power will always fall in the hands of those who are willing to commit atrocities to gain it.

Nie Huaisang is my close second favourite character, I'm not bashing, but he is cunning and ruthless and was willing to let a lot of people die to get his revenge. Jin Guangyao was cunning and ruthless and was willing to let a lot of people die to get consequence and still wicked tongues. Jin Guangshan… You get the picture. In the book, the Wen aren't living on a volcano making zombies for fun like cartoon villains, they have a prosperous city and seem to be generally okay kinda leaders until they started overreaching with the outposts. That's all. Greed, the ambition for revenge and to attain material goods and earthly power, leads inevitably to evil. The only way to a happy ending is to refuse to participate.

You couldn't have that on TV, because it would imply the government may not be on your side. 🤫

MDZS fandom is wide, I am sure I am not the only person to discuss this aspect, but maybe it just seems so momentous to me that I am surprised I haven't yet seen more talk about it.

#choose violence meme #salty opinions #fandom

[dotdotslump]

Is misandry the other side of the coin of Incel mentality?

I've been on radblr for roughly 6 years now, i'd like to extend an invite to @rad-siren for opening thoughts, awesome new person on radblr, but please do rb/reply at your leisure, as this has been on my mind as i've noticed what-would-be internet troll extremes a few years ago start to manifest in real life lately. @radfae @desaturated7 @terf-scorpion please get in here too. I'm a massive advocate for women growing up with a backbone, acquiring self-esteem, strength, and having the confidence to do whatever they want in their lives without the ever-lingering concern about the interventions of men in their lives setting them back. Being a man, I can clearly see the power imbalance, it exists on all levels, and begins at the most basic level, the fact that we live in a material physical tangible world, that men are on average, larger, more aggressive, and physically stronger than women, and that they have a much wider range of capacity and willingness to exert violence to meet their ends. This tiny advantage, while large and important a long time ago, is now much smaller in the grand scale of things, but is one of many of things that keeps a perceived "advantage" in the minds of many men I've encountered, among all the other crap that tends to poison the minds of developing boys that rots their behaviour going into their teens/adulthood into that of a permanent moid. Their inability to look past their nose leaves them blind and incapable of befitting the shoes of the other sex, even in emulation, and gives them the blissful capacity to commit incomprehensible horrors they'll never understand nor care to. On the other hand, women are taught at very young ages to be submissive, to stay thin and beautiful (don't build muscle mass, stay weak), to be kind and forgiving; even in the face of firsthand injustice. It's so painful to see women exerting genuine kindness from their soul knowing this harsh world is going to snuff out the smile from their face and spring from their step one day. Their attempts at maintaining this character in the face of such vileness turns their stomaches, fills them righteous fury, and they either collapse mentally, from realizing the world they were promised was a lie; the men that cross their lives are spiteful piece of shit they wish they've never encountered; and never want to again, and they either retreat and give up, take their own lives; stuffing themselves away mentally; silently suffering in this world. Or they survive, and fight the uphill battle, of being a woman in this world, each finding their own way to do it. I've read so many passages by women describing what their experience is like in their lives, they tend to invoke and describe a miasma of melancholy, a tired smile, a genuine human experience. But I've yet to see an honest man write how they truly view a woman's experience without the goggles of their own manhood. In my eyes, being born a woman is like being a protagonist character in a Shakespearean tragedy, cursed to live a dreadful journey of events from the beginning. It's so sad, how the good of this world is brought up only to be stomped out by the evils of Men. I don't want to derail, just wanted to build the right context, so let me pull it back to the topic of discussion. So on the one side, we have these fucking idiots with large capacity to exert violence, with the capacity to do so, and are raised with the seeded idea that the world is theirs and to take what they want and do as they please. on the other, we have these (tend to be) physically smaller creatures, who are generally raised to be good in nature, trusting, docile, and to stay weak and only take what they need, and be forgiving no matter what. Of course this is going to end poorly, I don't know why people keep raising their children this way, baffling. Pardon my mspaint, but in my mind the average radfem sits a healthy 4-6 on this scale.

Where anyone sitting in the 1-3 area just probably hasn't had their "peak men" moment but hold some dislike for your average idiot, and everyone -10 to 0 lives lalaland; in a tower in a faraway castle on a cloud, or is an extremely sheltered child of a very wealthy and good intentioned loving family that has overprotected them for far too long. But even women in the 4-6 region, let some men into their lives, or hold some fondness to have one in their lives, but wish they didn't have to go through the bullshit that is dealing with 99 porn brainrotted assholes to find 1 man; who may not even be a match. And I genuinely admire everyone in the 7-8 region of hate, because they know whatsup and have an extra kick of energy/fire that just makes you stop and say, damn. But, 9-10, to utterly deject and go out of your way to oppose half the population and want no association with them (to the point of political lesbianism in very few extreme cases). I see this as the same branch of mentality that drives the creation of Incels - dejected, ugly (physically, mentally, spiritually), spiteful men, who would only want the opposite sex to meet the means to an end("Women should be slaves"). All because women reject them and their inherent ugliness, and their lack of desire and intent to genuinely introspect leaves them twaddling their thumbs in intense frustration quelling for the grace of Pisteis in their lives. While Misandrists are generally arising of people who have had an overwhelming instance(s) of "Peak Men" moment(s) that just flipped the table, and though their cause and anger are just, their calls only invoke violence and create situations where men are silenced in the same way women have been. When a man saying an opposing viewpoint leaves him looking like hes trying to say "not all men", or a Woman bringing up her differing experience leaves her as a "pickme", he/she will be instantly written off without thought and silenced because the embarking situation heeds no call from the opposing side, it's a cry of rage and spite that wants to place a blanket viewpoint and erase everything that it covers. Even though these two sides arise for much differing reasons; from this point of view, the way they're arrived at where they are comes from the same path of intense hatred for the opposite sex, where they just want to quelch the other side. it's destructive, and achieves nothing but short lived "victories" in the name of banners raised in hate. P.S, send me misandry memes in pms i think they're the funniest thing ever and i love seeing guys throw a fit over them when i drop them in social media group chats. The truth only hurts those who live a lie.

#radblr #radfems interact #radfems do touch #misandry

[je-suis-asshole]

how do you feel right after all

part 3 of good old fashioned lover boy

“It's a blight on our family name!" Steve's father bellows, throwing kindling into the fire that rages in Steve's head.

"Oh, so when everyone knows you're banging that secretary of yours, what's her name? Amanda? That's fine? But when I have a few drinks it's-" his mother shrieks, crystal clear despite being several floors away.

"It's not a few drinks, you're a fucking alcoholic and don't care who knows it!"

They had been battling for close to half an hour, voices just quiet enough to keep the neighbors from knowing how the Harrington's weren't as perfect as they so desperately tried to seem.

"I am not an alcoholic! That's hardly what you should be concerned about when your son has no future and it's your fault!" Steve flinches when he's brought up. It's not uncommon. Most arguments end up being about how much of a disappointment he is.

"My fault?! I'm not the one who let him bounce from minimum wage job to minimum wage job! You're too soft on him!"

"Trust me, if I wanted to I'd do something about it in a heart beat! He just has no motivation!" Steve's mother screamed.

How desperately he wishes that he was anywhere but there. In fact, he was supposed to have picked up Will, El, and Mike from the Wheeler's house ten minutes ago. They were going to meet Eddie and the rest of the kids at the arcade, but he just can't bring himself to go downstairs and become the center of the argument yet again.

Sighing, he picks up the telephone and dialed the Wheeler's number. At the very least he should explain his absence. The kids deserve that much.

"Hello?" Will's quiet voice picks up. Steve can barely hear it over his parents shouting.

"Will? It's Steve," he replies, biting at his thumbnail. He's letting the kids down. He's always letting someone down, and now it's those poor kids who've been through so much.

"Oh, hey Steve, what's up? Where are you?" Will asks.

"Um, I don't know if I can come and pick you guys up. Can you ask Nancy to take you?" Steve feels bad just asking, but he can't just leave them alone.

"She's out with Jonathon. Are you okay?" Will has the biggest heart of anyone Steve's ever met, rivaling only Eddie's. Of course he would be worried about Steve of all people.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. What about Mrs. Wheeler?" Steve offers. He won't hang up until he knows that there's a plan.

"She's out," Will says, guilt dripping from his tone. A stone drops into Steve's stomach. He's hurting this poor boy.

"Shit. I'm so sorry." He's going to have to suck it up. Be a man like his father always told him. His pathetic inability to be around his parents is dragging everyone around him down.

"No, it's okay. We'll find a ride. Don't worry about it. It's okay," Will tries to assure, but Steve's already made his mind.

"It's not. I'll- I'll be there in 15, okay?"

"Steve-" He doesn't let Will finish before hanging up.

All he has to do now is toughen up and walk downstairs. The Byer's were visiting for the summer to be with their friends, and Steve's stopping them because he can't just go downstairs.

After a few moments, he takes a deep breath. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever they say, he deserves. It's true, after all.

Just as Steve starts walking across his room like a prisoner on his way to the execution chamber, the doorbell rings. The arguing stops. Slowly, he creeps into the hall to eavesdrop without alerting his parents.

"Who are you?" his fathers deep voice asks, disgust evident.

"Uh... is Steve here?"

Eddie. Eddie's at his door, with his father. Passionate, caring Eddie who heard his fathers voice as he gave Steve what for a few weeks ago.

Before Eddie could get himself hurt or before his father could find something to get mad about, Steve dashed down the stairs.

"How do you-" Once at the bottom, he hurried to introduce the boy.

"Father, this is my friend...'s," he added, stomach dropping as he sees Dustin, Erica, Lucas, and Max standing behind his boyfriend.

"You know these children?" his father asks, a heavy hand landing on his shoulder. Steve can't stop the flinch.

"Yeah," he says as confidently as he can manage.

"The only friends you could make are 10 year olds?" his father scoffs. Dustin's face screws up.

"We're 14!" he bites back.

"And I'm 11," Erica speaks up, crossing her arms and scowling at his father.

"I'm 20," Eddie says, glaring. There's too much fire behind his eyes. He knows what Steve's father did and if the way his hand shakes and clenches means anything, he's not happy about it.

"Children and a freak," his father corrects. They all share apprehensive glances.

"I used to babysit them..." Steve says, eyes barely flicking up to meet Eddie's. "Eddie's not a freak."

He looks desperately at Steve with the barest shake of his head. Before his father can respond, his mother pushes his way in between them.

"Who are these people?" she asks, a wine glass in her hand.

"His friends," his father sneers.

"What are they doing here?" It's like they aren't even there. Max’s nose wrinkles at this.

"Steve's driving us to the arcade," she supplies. Not technically true, but that doesn't matter.

"What, you got a job there or something?" his mom snorts.

"He's too under-qualified," his father grins. They both laugh, reedy and sharp. The only thing they agree on is that he's a waste of a son.

"I'll be back soon," Steve murmurs to them, shrugging away from his father and closing the door behind him.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asks, breathing the tension away. Adrenaline pumps through him like he just walked away from a battle.

"Eddie was on his way to pick us up when Will called and said something was wrong," Lucas answers.

"Your dad's an asshole, dude," Dustin says, stating the perfectly obvious.

At this, Eddie starts toward the door, a glower in his eyes that sets Steve on edge. He shoots out a hand to stop him. He won't let Eddie get hurt because of him.

"Ed's..." he whispers. It's not worth it. He's not worth it.

"'Ed's'?" Erica asks, eyebrows raised.

"Erica," Lucas chastises, elbowing the girl. She raises her hands in surrender.

"Sorry. I was tied up with something," Steve apologizes, trying to explain his absence and move on from the obvious tension in his household. It doesn't help that his parents have decided to start loudly arguing again. Max looks sympathetic. She pities him. They all do.

"I'll get my keys and head to the Wheeler's. I'll meet you guys at the arcade. I, um, have some quarters for you guys in the car. Maybe I can get you guys something to eat after?" he offers. He needs to make it up to them.

"You're going back in there?" Max asks softly.

"Well, how else am I supposed to get my keys?" he asks, laughing. It sounds weak. Disgusting. They can see right through him and it shows.

"You're not going back in there," Eddie says firmly.

"I need to pick up-" Steve starts, but Eddie's not having it.

"I'll get them," he suggests, hand twitching at his side. Steve wants to grab it so bad, to hide in him for a moment, but the kids are there.

"There's not enough room for everyone in the van."

"I can drop these ones off and go and get the rest," Eddie says.

"And leave them alone? I can't let them-" Steve argues. The kids are his responsibility, not Eddie's. If he was strong enough, none of them would have to be dealing with this.

"Is Robin working today?" his boyfriend asks.

"She should be."

"I'll leave them with Robin. It should only take 10 minutes," Eddie offers. Steve almost argues, Robin shouldn't have to pick up his slack, until he sees the suggestion for what it is. An excuse to get rid of Steve. It effectively cuts him out of the equation, making it easier for everyone. They don't want to deal with him anymore.

"Oh. Okay," he says, dumbly.

Why would they want him there? It's supposed to be a fun day, and he's anything but. He's already ruined it and they haven't even gotten to the arcade.

Numbly, he steps back and reaches back for the door handle and prepares himself to brave his house again.

"What are you doing?" Lucas asks, eyebrows furrowed with worry. Steve's making them worry. He needs to get out of there. That's his job, to worry. To worry about them. Not the other way around.

"...going back in?" Steve answers.

"Why?"

"If Eddie's driving you then I don't need to be there," he says. They stare at him. He's done something else wrong, hasn't he?

"Big Sinclair, can you go unlock the van?" Eddie asks, breaking the silence and digging through his pockets.

"Yeah," Lucas says. Eddie tosses him the keys.

"Come on guys," Max mutters, taking a step behind her and beckoning the others to follow. The kids retreat back to the van with a few glances back.

"You need to get out of there," Eddie says once they're out of earshot.

"What?"

"Steve, you can't stay in that house," he says, a tentative handing landing on his shoulder. To the kids, it probably looked like a friendly gesture. They couldn't see the way Eddie squeezed, his thumb rubbing comforting circles.

From behind Eddie, Steve can see Dustin beeline towards the passenger seat. It makes sense. He always rides shotgun. He probably rode it on the ride over.

Lucas stops him with an arm though, alongside an almost unreadable shake of the head. Max says something too quietly to hear. Dustin's eyes meet Steve's, sad and scared. He follows Lucas into the backseat.

"Why not?" Steve asks. Sure, his parents couldn't give less of a shit about him. But if he wasn't such a burden, they wouldn't be so terrible. He was equally to blame.

"They're killing you," Eddie whispers, biting on his lower lip. Tears well up in his eyes, and oh, how Steve wishes he could hold onto him and bury his face into his neck and press gentle kisses against his collarbone and-

And the kids are still watching.

"That's an exaggeration, I don't think-" Steve starts. Eddie is relentless, though.

"Has he hit you since last time?" he asks.

Steve cringes at the question. It doesn't need to be answered. Eddie knows. Of course he does.

"It wasn't that hard," Steve defends, scratching the back of his neck. His collar feels like it's shrinking.

"Stevie," Eddie murmurs, leaning towards him.

"I'm an adult. Plus, I deserved it, okay, so-"

"Please," he begs, taking a step forward. They're almost too close for friends. They both glance at the van.

"Baby, they shouldn't be hurting you," Eddie whispers, as if the kids could hear him all the way over there, or Steve's parents could hear anything over the argument that rages on.

"I talked back, if I hadn't talked back he wouldn't have..." Steve trails off. His father had taken a jab at his sexuality when told that he didn't have a girlfriend. Steve had said there was nothing wrong with liking men. He should have kept his mouth shut. "Even if I left, where would I go?"

The question hangs heavy between them. Steve has a minimum wage retail job. How could he afford to leave?

"The kids are waiting," he says once the silence starts to make him squirm.

Eddie nods sadly, sighing and looking at him forlornly. Steve hates that he hurts Eddie, but what he was supposed to do? If he could have left he would have.

After only a few steps towards the van, Steve stops and gasps. "Wait!" he cries.

"What?" Eddie stops.

"I need to get quarters for the kids," Steve says. Eddie looks at him strangely.

"They have quarters," he states, but Steve shakes his head. After years of looking after the kids, he's grown used to what he needs to do for them.

"Max doesn't have enough and Lucas' parents make him and Erica share and Will always lets the others take some of his," he explains.

"We can stop at the gas station and I'll get them some rolls," Eddie offers, but Steve shakes his head.

"No! No, I- you can't," he insists. Eddie shouldn't have to pay for his cowardice.

"You said you keep quarters for them in the car?" Eddie asks. Before Steve can respond, he says, "I'll get your keys for you, okay?"

"If we're getting the keys, shouldn't I just stop by the Wheeler's house?" Steve asks.

"You're really twisting my arm here, Stevie boy," Eddie sighs, throwing his arms up and taking a step back.

"What?" Steve asks, watching Eddie pace in a circle.

"I don't want to leave you alone," he admits.

"I'll be with the kids."

"But on the ride over? I... I just don't want to leave you."

Oh. Eddie didn't want to let him out of his sight. Steve couldn't remember the last time someone had wanted him around.

"Keys are on my dresser. Ignore my parents. Don't talk, don't look, don't stop, don't engage," he instructs.

"Got it," Eddie says, saluting. He leans in, lips just inches away from Steve's cheek before remembering their company.

"I love you," he whispers, big eyes looking up.

"I love you too," Steve smiles. With that Eddie disappears back into Hell. Not that he hasn't already been there. And almost died. Despite how hard he was trying to convince Steve that it wasn't his fault, it was hard to not shoulder blame.

Steve glances at the van and catches the kids watching him. They all looked away, except for Erica. He offers her a smile, but she squints at him suspiciously.

Steve only has to wait a moment before the door opens again. "They didn't even notice me," Eddie says, slamming the door and muffling the arguing once again.

"That's good," Steve says, sighing in relief.

"Let's get your damn quarters," Eddie huffs, brushing their hands together as he passes.

Once Steve grabs the rolls of quarters from his car and slipped his keys back into his pocket, they head into the van. The passenger seats left open for him. Steve digs his nails into his palm to stop himself from crying.

"Alright kiddos, new game plan. I'm gonna leave you all with the lovely Miss Buckley for a second while Steve and I go and pick up El, Will, and Mike. If you give her any trouble I'll make you walk home. Got it?" Eddie asks, starting the old van.

"Yes Sergeant Munson," Dustin says sarcastically .

"That's the exact kind of lip that will get you kicked out of the van, shrimp," Eddie tuts, waggling his finger as the van careens down the street. Steve isn't sure he actually legally has his license.

"Are you okay, Steve?" Dustin asks, ignoring Eddie.

"What?"

"Are we just gonna- ow, what the hell, Lucas?" he yelps, rubbing his head where Lucas had hit it.

"Shut your trap, dude," he warns. Steve watches, smiling gratefully at the boy.

"What, I'm just- ow!" This time it's Max, smacking his shoulder and rolling her eyes.

"Stop talking."

"Why am I- what the shit?!" Dustin shrieks, curling into himself as Erica punches his shoulder.

"That one was just for fun," she shrugs, grinning.

"Let's stop hitting Henderson," Eddie scolds, but only Steve can see the smile he's biting back.

"But it's so much fun," Max says, elbowing him again with a smirk.

"Dude!" Dustin howls. Steve and Eddie collapse into a fit of giggles. "A little help, please?"

"The next person to hit Dustin doesn't get a milkshake after you're finished at the arcade," Steve announces as sternly as possible, the effect ruined at how hard he's trying to not laugh.

The van falls into silence for a moment, before Erica slaps Lucas upside the head.

"Hey!" he shouts, and the adults start laughing all over again.

"The next person to hit anyone doesn't get a milkshake," Steve corrects, and Erica rolls her eyes.

"Fine, fine," she concedes.

By the time the kids get dropped off at Family Video, Steve can't wipe the smile off of his face.

"Here, everyone take a roll of quarters. Don't leave this room until we get back," he says, handing them out a roll each. Robin watches from behind the counter.

"What if we have to use the bathroom?" Dustin asks.

"Shit on the floor," Steve answers, smiling at him dryly.

"Not when I have to clean it up!" Robin protests, glaring at both of them.

"What if the building is on fire?" Lucas asks.

"I'm sure you can figure that one out. Be nice while we're gone," Eddie says. He and Steve start to pile back into the van.

"You owe me!" Robin calls after them. Steve flips her off, but he knows he'll pay her back.

Once they start their journey to the Wheeler's house, Eddie runs a hand through his tangled mess of curls and sighs.

"I have a proposition for you," he says, tapping his fingers against steering wheel.

"Okay," Steve hums, pulling a knee up to his chest. He wants to lay a hand on Eddie’s thigh now that the kids were gone, but he doesn’t want to make Eddie mad. He fiddles with his shirt in substitution.

"Move in with me," Eddie says bluntly.

"What?"

"Stevie, I can't leave you in that house. Your parents have been destroying you for the last 20 years and I can't watch," he says, gnawing at his lip.

"It's fine, Ed's," Steve insists. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Certainly not enough to force Eddie to put up with him for that long. Eddie didn’t deserve that. And Steve deserves the home life that he has. If he didn’t, why else would his parents treat him like that?

"I love you so much. You know I do, princess. But it's killing you and you know it. I wish you'd just do this for yourself," Eddie groans.

Steve flushes at the name. Ever since their first kiss, Eddie had been making it his mission to find the pet name that made Steve blush the most. One of his talents was making Steve flustered, and boy did he utilize it.

"I can't do that to you," Steve says.

"I don't care! I would love for you to live with me, especially if it means getting away from those monsters," Eddie says, his tapping growing faster.

"We've only been dating for a couple weeks," Steve says. Surely that was too soon to move in. And they’d only know each other for a few months.

"Who cares?! Ask Robin! Ask Nancy! Fucking Dustin! I don't care, just don't stay there," Eddie begs. This really wasn’t about getting Steve to move in with him. It was about getting Steve to move out of his parents house.

Maybe Steve was just a people pleaser. Maybe he couldn’t stand to look at the desperation in Eddie’s eyes anymore. But he relented. “…I'll think about it," he whispers.

"Okay. That's okay," Eddie says, forcing himself to relax into the seat.

Steve wouldn’t mind living with Eddie. He often finds himself daydreaming during work of slow mornings with the boy, in a house or apartment or even trailer that was all their own.

Gut instinct tells him that he doesn’t deserve a future as nice as that one. But it’s hard to listen to it as he watches the sunlight filter through Eddie’s long hair.

Maybe this is the first step towards that future. Maybe Steve doesn’t deserve it.

But damn does he want it.

#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington

[iturbide]

also like geez man not to bring it up like this but edelgard gets plenty of Tragic Backstory that ppl would totally be all over if she were also a Hot Guy Protagonist but this woman is like isolated, distrustful, traumatized, and like shes definitely intelligent, but so tunnel-visioned and inable to actually reach out and look for connection and - again - trust that she's kinda just. Stuck being the way she is. Byleth's influence isn't enough to help get her out of the "I have to be the one to fix things because otherwise what if the Bad Things Happen Again going-about-it-with-good-intentions-but-poor-execution" thing she's just stubborn and by her own past experiences can't risk to trust anyone. idk man I want her to be so many other things of a character than she ended up being but it feels more like rushed writing/not knowing what to really DO with her than anything else.

that is a lot of words. sorry bout that.

No please bring it up absolutely bring it up because I didn't want to say it despite thinking it real hard.

Like. If Edelgard had been a Male Lord, a part of me really doubts that we'd be getting as much of this. There's this insidious misogynistic element where it's kind of swept under the rug when male characters have this kind of campaign in their story, or even embraced when their motives are explained by a Tragic Backstory -- but as soon as a female character does exactly the same thing, they're decried as terrible monsters. It certainly doesn't happen in every case, but...well, I've seen my fair share of Edelgard fans hyper-focused on her obsession with Byleth (the "soft el tee hee uwu" effect) and writing off the war crimes, as opposed to contextualizing them.

And you're also right about her writing being rushed and her character potential really being wasted. Because that's really how it feels to me, too: there is so much inherent potential to her character, with that backstory and that personality, with her drive and ambition...but it never gets to shine. Instead her own route reduces her to being obsessed with Byleth (who is never allowed to oppose her through contrivances of the narrative that gut their response options until only those that support Edelgard remain) and steamrolling across Fodlan consequence-free. She stalls her own campaign for five years in Crimson Flower because she's so upset that Byleth's gone. In every other route she's made major inroads into conquering the Kingdom and holds the Bridge of Myrddin by the time Byleth gets back, but in Crimson Flower her own classmates imply that her search for Byleth was her priority. They make her less competent in her own route, and whether it was intended that way or not, the implication is that she's so obsessed with her teacher after they saved her from Rhea that she's willing to put her ambitions on hold to get them back so they can do this together.

And the thing is, they could have done interesting things with that route. It's the one and only route where our faction knows about the Agarthans going in! They relegate a whole arm of the plot to end card tie-ups!! Imagine if they'd put the same effort into Crimson Flower that they had the other routes: after taking out Rhea in Fhirdiad, we could have had a reckoning where Edelgard has to confront the lies she's told her classmates by revealing the truth about Arianrhod and the threat in the shadows that she's known about for years but hasn't shared! Let her friends feel understandably betrayed by that revelation! Let us have a month where Byleth's interactions with the Strike Force in the monastery feature Edelgard's allies grappling with this and deciding whether they want to place their faith in her again now that they know she's lied to them to meet her own ends! Give her a chapter where she faces consequences for conquering a sovereign nation and installing an Imperial-born leader -- let there be an uprising in the Alliance! Show Edelgard, and the player by proxy, that there are consequences to this!

And they wouldn't even have to soften or change her approach!! If they went with an Alliance uprising, she could learn the lesson that, yeah, people aren't gonna be thrilled if you come conquer their home and put one of your own people with no idea of the local culture and customs in charge. It could get her to rethink her plans and put Count Gloucester in charge -- a pro-Imperial Alliance-born leader who has always had designs on the head seat of the round table. She could not only secure his loyalty with that appointment, but arguably she could pacify some measure of dissent from the Alliance territories because she's left them in the care of someone from their home. Let her apologize to her friends for lying to them and endeavor to trust them in ways she hadn't before! Let her see some growth and change, even if it doesn't change her belief that This Was the Only Way -- heck, it's better if it doesn't change that core belief, because that's such a key part of her character!

And then -- what if she made that apology and her classmates didn't give her an immediate answer, and she then left to have a meeting with Thales where he intended to get rid of her since her usefulness has pretty well ended, but instead her classmates show up to join the fight on her side because they're willing to trust her again! So you have this big battle with Thales where he escapes at the end, but when he teleports out it lets Hubert get a bead on where the Agarthan base of operations is, and the final mission is storming it the way you do in other routes -- only this time Thales is the Big Endgame Boss, so the whole chapter is just a nightmare of Agarthan agents, Titanus machines, traps, etc. because when she showed her hand at Arianrhod it gave him time to buff up defenses in Shambhala! So we get to actually take on and take down the Agarthans ourselves and get that feeling of triumph that yeah, maybe things are going to work out!!

Would it have been more work? Oh, absolutely yes. But I also really think it could have elevated Edelgard's route by giving her an actual arc and addressing some of her character flaws while still preserving what makes her so interesting as a character.

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem: three houses #edelcourse #no really though i think you're onto something with the misogyny #i have the same suspicions about claude's low popularity #only that involves racism #which is kind of ironic given his goal #but also i don't like to broadcast too much of my cynicism #i really do think they could have made crimson flower interesting #if only they'd pushed further #instead of defaulting to 'happy ever after' endcards

[heiligbogen]

12. MY INNER VOICE, THAT’S ME, RIGHT?: The voice in your head, always giving you advice and expressing problems, that’s your soulmates voice. Does it sound familiar, or is it a voice you have never heard before? -- from Juu (@soulst1c3) // These two... seem to take in information so differently? So, Juu kinda... couldn't get this one out of his head, so to speak :))

Finally getting to this one! @soulst1c3

It's interesting to play with the idea imo that like, his true dad didn't give him a lot of the guidance he wanted...but instead he ended up with a headvoice to guide him who was able to give him the insights he'd wanted but was unable to actually talk about or ask for. (I realize that we've both been spotty online so I just wanted this here for you or anyone else reading.)

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Uryuu doesn't trust how things have gone down. He's no longer able to use his powers, though he's not letting his friends know this just yet. The very last bits of his encounters in battle still shake him. He doesn't know how to feel about what he knows about himself, his origins, his family, this place, and how powerless he feels now that he's gotten a true view of what's been kept from him all these years.

But as always, the the voice he's always heard is reassuring.

There's something about the one he hears that's always made him feel like he himself is wise beyond his years. People have always come to him for advice, but Uryuu knows somehow that he has nothing to do with the steadiness he radiates sometimes--its because of this person, who he's given up searching for. He's sure that if he'd been meant to meet him, that they've have crossed paths by now.

It's comforted him in this moment.

Don't regret anything. Nothing is too much when you need to care for a friend. You'd feel much worse if you'd stayed on the sidelines. There's no way to know if you have conflict later...so it's only right to help a friend now.

It's right. He knows it's right. And now that everything's unfolded, the situation he and his friends are in after breaking into soul society wasn't anticipated by anyone. There's a war brewing...and as guilty as he feels about not being able to do anything now--you can't help what you must do in the moment.

But now he hears a familiar voice...but it's not in his head.

His heart leaps and his eyes widen, and he finds his way to where he hears it, and he's shocked.

He sees a man with white hair, taller than him, and far, far older. The kindness radiates from him in ways that he aches because of. His breath is taken from him in shock, surprise, and now an inability to mitigate the strange mix of directional forces that have hit him like an arrow. He doesn't know what to do, how to move forward, but his clumsy tongue moves for him.

"Umm...eh--Excuse me!" He looks into the green eyes that notice him now. "I..." His voice trails off. Silence fills the air but he tries again. "I know your voice," he says. "Sorry. But, I had to know. Know who you are."

It's hard, but he's managed to say something. After all, something tells him that of all people this man will understand.

#soulst1c3 #soul mate meme #tsp activity check