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#and now with landon it's reality
wynterlanding · 9 months
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official pair tag dump – romantic + platonic
#after all these years we’re still the same! landon x abel#after all you’re my wonderwall! landon x Eloise#all our times have come! landon x nancy#all we ever wanted was everything! landon x kennedy#and now we’re hanging on by a heartbeat! landon x kat#brothers of the moon! saint x landon#don’t try to kill me with your love! landon x suvi#dying like a shooting star in the valley! landon x lily#if the heavens ever did speak shes the last true mouth piece! landon x alice ! au#lets give them something to talk about! landon x genevieve#lights. camera. romance! landon x aubrey#midnight angel won’t you say you will! landon x sienna#one smile on ur face was all it took to change my fortune! landon x rhea#our sweet complication! landon x ava#the passion of lovers is for death! landon x whitney#pride and prejudice! landon x elijah#the princess and the pauper! landon x rockelle#put on your gucci slides star boi! landon x marius#puttin a spell on reality television! landon x Sabrina#saw ur eyes for a little while i was fallin in luv! landon x stella#she’s got the magic around my soul! landon x anya#slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door! landon x frankie#then we dance on the h of the hollywood sign! landon x alice#truly! madly! deeply! landon x maddy#want a piece of u tear my heart in 2! landon x rebecca#wanted to give u everything but i still stand in awe of superficial things! landon x suvi ! au#what a plot twist we are! landon x samantha#when the lights go down won’t you want to be with me! landon x una#wouldn’t it be nice if we could! landon x ruby#you call me lavender you call me sunshine! landon x darcy
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lovingmattysposts · 4 months
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Eastside 13
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P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P14 P15 P16 P17
summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?
warnings: mentions of drugs and guns
DAMN yall missed this series here ya go
xoxo autumn
"It's around here somewhere" I mumbled as I pushed around my father’s desk. Cecilia stood behind me, clearly on edge going through a police officer’s living space. I looked back at her as she hugged herself tight with her arms and glanced around.
"Will you chill out?" I chuckled looking at her. She glanced down at me dropping her arms. "Chill out? I could face life if your dad knew I was in here" She whispered down at me. I shook my head as I looked at her, smiling. She sighed and leaned against the wall.
"Here it is" I whispered lifting up a small piece of paper that was taped to the top of the desk drawer of all of his passwords. I held it up showing it to her. She smiled and shook her head. "You think chief of police would be smarter than that" She whispered smiling. I laughed and shook my head.
"Now the computer" I mumbled shuffling around some paper. Her eyes were trained on the door, tapping her foot. I groaned as I searched for it. Then I heard the door being pushed open, making me stand up straight. I looked up seeing my dad staring back at me and then glancing at Cecilia.
"What are you doing in here?" He asked looking at me. I glanced down to his hands, his computer in his hands. Fuck. I looked back up at him. I looked over at Cecilia who's face was white looking at my dad.
"Uh-" I said glancing down to the desk. "I was looking for the computer charger--We were gonna watch a movie, but my laptop’s dead and I lost the charger" I said nodding looking at him, lying through my teeth. He furrowed his eyesbrows as he stepped towards the desk and picked up the computer charger up and held it out to me.
I looked down at his hands. "Oh! Duh" I chuckled awkwardly looking at Cecilia, who's eyes were still wide. I took the computer charger out of his hands and stepped out from behind his desk.
"Dad, this is my friend Cecilia" I smiled motioning to Cecilia. He glanced over to her and then down to her tattoos, then back up to her eyes. "Hi" She waved. My dad looked back at me and nodded.
"A friend?" He smiled. I swallowed and nodded. "Well, it's nice to meet a friend of y/n's" He smiled waving at her. She nodded. He walked over to me rubbing his hand over my shoulder.
"I'm glad to see you out of your bed honey, I know these last few days have been hard for you" He said looking down at me. I felt the feelings wash back all over me from his words. As if the reality of Matt and I's breakup hit me all over again. I had forgotten about it for a few hours, and now it was right back in front of my face again.
I forced and smiled and nodded at him. "Yeah, thanks Dad" I whispered. He smiled. I took in a breath and looked back at Cecilia, who was obviously itching to get out of there. I nodded to her and then walked past her towards the door, her quickly behind me.
She closed the door behind her before letting out a breath. "Oh my god" She shook her head. I shook my head smiling slightly before walking towards my steps and up to my room.
I pushed my room open before looking back at her. "Sorry, it's a mess" I said kicking my clothes that were scattered across the floor. She glanced around my room, looking at something on my desk. I just watched her as she looked around my room.
"Your room is so cool" She smiled looking around. I smiled at her. "And so big" She said holding out her arms and spinning, making me laugh slightly.
“I share a room with Landon. It must be nice having all this all to yourself” She smiled as she walked around. I nodded looking at her. She walked over to the widow before looking out of it. Memories of Matt’s face flushed through my mind.
I looked down. It wasn’t fair. I can’t even look at y window anymore?
"It normally doesn't look like this, i've just been living in here for the past week" I said grabbing some stuff off my desk and pushing them away.
"Is this sweatshirt yours? It dope as shit" She smiled holding up a black sweatshirt. I glanced over at it and paused. I looked down. "Uh no that's Matt's" I said quietly. She looked over at me and then back at the sweatshirt before placing it back where it was.
I swallowed as I pretended to put more stuff away to ignore the burning in the corner of my eyes and I heard her walk over to me. "I know I've spent the entire night talking about myself" She said and I didn't look up at her.
"But" She paused. I swallowed. "How are you doing? With the breakup and everything?" She asked softly. I let out a breath and closed my eyes. I don’t wanna talk about it. I didn’t even want to think about it.
"We need to figure out a way to make sure the triplets aren't involved when we blow this thing up, make sure there's nothing in their house when everything goes down" I stated looking at her. She just looked at me. I stared back at her. "What?" I asked.
"Y/n" She said softly. I looked to the side and sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it" I mumbled. She nodded. "Okay, we don't have to" She said. Silence fell between us as I attempted not to cry in front of her.
"I could text Landon" She said looking down at me. "Tell him I want some of Matt's weed and to call him." She suggested, making me look up at her. "It would get him out of the house so you could go talk to Nick and Chris about what your plan is" She said shrugging. I licked my lips.
I nodded slowly looking at her. "That would work" I sighed. She smiled and nodded before pulling out her phone. "I'll call him" She smiled.
-
Cecilia and I stood outside of the triplet’s house, from a distance waiting for Matt to walk out. Low and behold a few seconds later the door pushed open revealing Matt. I felt like I froze. Just watching him as he stared down at his feet. My boyfriend. My perfect boy. That wasn't mine anymore.
It felt like all the blood was draining from my body because I knew he wasn't mine anymore. He was just a boy, walking down the street. Holding every memory I had, he took with him. He looked perfect. Sure his hair was messy, his face was fallen, not a smile in sight, but he was still perfect to me, because he was Matt.
I guess I didn't notice he was walking towards where Cecilia and I were standing in the distance, because I was so caught up in seeing him again. Seeing him when we were official not together. And It killed me.
Cecilia jumped down into the bushes behind us farther away from the road, but I stood frozen, just looking at him. Feeling like I wasn't even there, like I was a ghost in his presence just watching his life go on, without me in it. And I hated it. But that wasn't the case. I was very much standing there, not a ghost, and his eyes were trained at his feet as he walked.
"Y/n!" Cecilia whispered loudly, but I didn't move. I felt like I couldn't even feel my feet. But he was approching me, but he hadn't noticed me yet. It didn't look like he was noticing anything around him.
Cecilia reached up and grabbed me before pulling me down on my butt under the bushes with her. I snapped out of it before looking over at her, her eyes wide. "What were you doing?" She whispered. I opened my mouth but just shook my head, like I didn't know what I was doing.
Her eyes snapped up as Matt passed where we were hiding. I just looked at him. I could see him through the branches and I shifted slightly making a branch snap. I almost gasped when I saw him stop, but Cecilia's hand came over my mouth. He turned slightly towards the bushes from the noise and glanced over them.
I felt my heart beat out of my chest. I wanted to scream.
Matt I'm so sorry. Please let it not be true. Please can we just pretend nothing ever happenened?
He shook his head before continuing down the road. I closed my eyes as his footstep became more and more faint after a few minutes of sitting here. Cecilia stood up and I stood up with her. She stepped out before glancing from side to side and then back to me.
"Okay, he's gone" She stated looking at me. I let out a breath and nodded, stepping out from the bushes. She just looked at me for a second. "Are you okay?" She breathed. I looked down at my feet and nodded.
"I'm okay" I said. "I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing this for you--" I said looking at her. "For Chris for Nick-" I said motioning to the house. She pursed her lips before shaking her head.
"No you're not" She said stepping towards me. I just watched her. "I appreciate your help, trust me you're saving my life" She breathed smiling. "But you're not doing this for me or Nick or Chris" She shook her head. I didn't say anything and looked at her. Not really knowing what to say.
"I'm gonna go meet Landon at the warehouse" She said stepping back. "You have this covered?" She asked pointing at me. I looked up at the house and then back at her before nodding. "I've got it" I nodded. She smiled before walking up to me and wrapping her arms around me, catching me off guard so I froze slightly.
"Thank you so much for everything, you have no idea what you're doing for me" She said quietly as she hugged me. I smiled slightly before hugging her back. She stepped back before letting out a breath.
"Okay, you've got this" She smiled looking at me. I nodded as she turned and started to walk down the street. I just watched her as she turned down the corner and I looked back towards the house and let out a breath.
I don't know how I was going to get Nick and Chris on board with this without Matt's knowledge, but I had to try. I sighed before walking up to the all too familiar house that I've been to too many times before.
Normally having a mission to open the door, kiss my boyfriend and lay in his bed and listen to him tell me how much he loved me until the sun set. Oh how things have changed.
I walked up the steps before knocking on the door and holding my breath. I stepped back and a few seconds later the door opened, revealing Nick. His eyes widened once they landed on me.
"Y/n" He stated. I just looked up at him. "Matt just-" He started to say as he leaned forward looking down the street. "I'm not here for Matt" I stated as I pushed past him into his house. I looked over and saw Chris look up at me from the couch.
My mouth slightly dropped at the sight of him. He was black and blue. "Chris" I breathed looking at him. He glared at me and stood up. "What are you doing here?" he asked harshly. I looked over at Nick who wore the same expression.
I swallowed and sighed. "I'm here to get you out of the shit you've drowned yourself in" I said looking between them and crossing my arms. They looked at each other and then back at me. "What are you talking about?" Nick asked stepping towards me. I rolled my eyes.
"I know okay? You're drug dealers because you're fucking idiots!" I glared at them. They stood frozen as they looked at me. Nick clenched his jaw and looked over to Chris. "I'm gonna kill Matt" He shook his head looking at Chris.
"Matt didn't tell me" I sighed looking at them. Chris furrowed his eyebrows. "Then who-" He started to ask but I shook my head waving my hands. "It doesn't matter and we don't have time for this" I breathed walking around them and to the couch and pulling up th cushions.
"W-What are you doing?" Chris asked looking at me. I glanced up at them. "You have to get everything out of the house that ties your name with any drug paraphernalia or to Slim's buisness" I stated looking between them. They stared blankly at me.
"The money you get for selling, clean it. Make it go through some other system that doesn't have Slim's name attached to it and don't just deposit thousands of dollars into your account. Send it to yourself through fake accounts or through a different bank with someone else's name on it--Whatever you have to do, just clean it" I said looking between them.
"Any drugs, get rid of them I don't know or care how you do it--I don't care if it's thousands of dollars worth of fucking cocaine, It needs to be gone by this time tomorrow" I stated seriously looking at them. They glanced at each other and then back to me.
"You wanna get out of this without a life sentence in jail don't you?" I asked loudly looking at them. They nodded quickly. I stared at them as they stood there looking at me.
"Then move" I said through gritted teeth. They both turned on their feet and walked out of the room. I just shook my head as Chris ran into his room and Nick be-lined towards the kitchen.
A few minutes later, everything was spread out on the table in front of me, including guns with no permit. I looked up at them before shaking my head.
"I'm getting my dad's computer, we're hacking into Slim's laptop, taking down everything that has your name or face attached to him and getting rid of it, taking down all of the security footage, destroying all of it and leaving everything that incriminates your guy's involvement" I breathed looking between them. Nick nodded looking at me, and Chris stepped forwards before wrapping his arms around me.
I froze against his touch as he squeezed me. "Thank you" he sighed against me. I looked over at Nick, who shook his head--Obviously the least emotional one out of all of them. Chris pulled back slightly smiling at me. I nodded looking at him
"What about Matt?" Chris asked looking up at me. I swallowed as I glanced between them. "Don't tell Matt" I stated looking at them. They looked over at each other. "About any of it?" Chris asked looking at me. I shook my head.
"I don't want him to be involved. If he knows I'm doing this he'll try and stop me, I just know he will. It's better if he just doesn't know. I can do this on my own the last thing I need is Matt to know i'm going knee deep into Slim's shit" I said shaking my head. They nodded.
"Okay, we won't tell him" Nick said looking over at Chris, who nodded. I let out a breath. "He's destroyed you know" Chris said quietly making me look up at him.
"He's not even himself. It's like he doesn't know who he is without you" Chris breathed. I took in a breath looking down at the table. "Get rid of this by tomorrow" I stated pointing down at the table and moving past them, they just watched me as I walked towards the door.
"If you need more time, text me. But for tomorrow make sure you two are no where near the warehouse" I said pointing at them. They nodded. "Where are you gonna be?" Nick asked looking at me.
"Blowing that shit up" I chuckled, making them smile. “Damn Y/n, you’re kinda badass” Chris chuckled. “I see why Matt loves you so much” he breathed. I felt a punch to the gut with the words.
“Not looking like the soft little chief’s daughter anymore huh?” I smiled making them smile and shake their head. “Be safe y/n, if you need any help. Text us. Slim can be dangerous” Nick said looking at me. I nodded looking at him.
“Don’t worry I’ve got some help from the inside” I smiled. They furrowed their eyebrows. I took a breath turning towards the door, then I paused.
"Make sure Matt's safe too. I don’t want him near the warehouse either” I said looking over at them. Nick nodded. "Of course" He breathed looking at me. I sighed as I pushed through the front door and back down the steps.
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smoooothoperator · 3 months
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untouchable
09: Adore You
Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)
same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle
Words: 4.1k
Warnings: fluff, smut (+18), period
a/n: cute things happening and more things to come!
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Being with them was easy. I feel like a completely different person when I'm with them. I don't have to walk around eggshells, hiding my own person and doing whatever they tell me to do. With them it's easy to talk, to be myself.
Pietra is someone I can trust, someone that wants to listen to whatever I talk about and is always there when I need her. Max is someone that makes me laugh and smile, that will always tease me to prove me I can do things on my own. And Landon… Lando is starting to be my favorite person in this world.
He's the first thing I see when I wake up the last few days, the one that smiles when I walk inside a room and the first one to stand up whenever I ask for help. 
The week in the snow was ending, and the last day we wanted to spend it with the four of us in the house, making a fire on the balcony just to burn marshmallows. 
During the last few days, Lando and I got closer. Really close. And instead of worrying me, I just let it be. We kissed when we were alone, cuddled and slept in the same bed at night. I let him hold me when we were out having fun in the snow. And everything was magical.
But as days were passing, my anxiety started to grow even more. Deep inside me there was a voice that reminded me that I had to go back to reality, as well as Lando. We have responsibilities and work to do. We have our families and even if I started to get used to having him beside me every minute of the day, I knew that it was only because we were here.
“What are you guys going to do once we arrive home?” I dared to ask, watching how the white marshmallow started to get toasted.
“Well, we have to film things for Quadrant” Lando nodded next to me. 
“Oh, right” Max nodded. “We have to go to Sweden and then go back to London”
“Yeah, five busy days of filming” Lando smiled proudly. “It will be exciting”
“And you?” Pietra asked, leaning on her boyfriend and looking at me.
“I guess I'll study and work” I smiled, shrugging my shoulders. 
“And your parents?” Lando frowned. 
“Yeah, they are still on that cruise trip” I sighed. 
I heard Lando sigh, rubbing my back softly making me smile weakly at him. I didn't want to talk about it, about how my parents decided to not be with me during my time off of school, about how they forgot my birthday and about them making me stay alone at home during holidays.
When the marshmallows ended we decided to go back inside, getting ready to go to bed. But I didn't want to, not now. I just want to stay a little longer.
“You'll get cold, Violet” I heard Lando, coming back to the balcony. Seconds later I saw him standing next to me with a blanket in his hands.
“I don't want to leave” I sighed, patting the seat next to mine, asking him silently to sit next to me. “I don't want to go back home, to be alone”
“Why don't you come with me, hm?” he whispered, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer. “It will be fun”
“But you have to work, Lando” I sighed, and stayed quiet for a few seconds. “I just… I'm scared of going back home and realizing that everything that happened here was just to have fun”
“No, hey” he frowned. “None of this was for fun. You and I, us. It wasn't for fun. I want to be able to call you mine, okay? I want you to come with me to races and walk next to you”
“I guess I'm scared of going back to reality, Lando” I sighed, holding his hand. “Of going back home, back to the classes, of going back to my normal life as a student. I guess it terrifies me thinking about not having you next to me, because I got so comfortable with you during this whole week, and knowing that you will be away makes me feel lonely”
“Oh, come here” he sighed, pulling me closer and kissing my head. “You know you can call me whenever you need to, right? You survived four years without me, you can survive five days”
“But in those four years I didn't spend my time kissing you and hugging you” I sighed looking at him. “I didn't think about you as more than a friend, Lando. You were there and we texted just for important things”
“And we can keep doing it” he said. “We can keep texting, calling. I'll go back to you once I finish this work. I'll go back to you, we will talk about what the future has for us and then I won't leave you until you get tired of me, okay?”
“Never” I smile looking at him. “I think I'll never get tired of you”
“That's good” he chuckled. “Now, please… please let's go back inside because I'm freezing and I can't feel my ears right now”
I chuckled and nodded, standing up and looking at him, hugging him. The last few days he made me fall for him, he made me fall in love with who he is. And I don't want to regret that. I want to cherish all the seconds I can have next to him until something bigger than us makes us part our ways. 
“Let's go to bed” I smile, standing on my tiptoes and kissing his lips softly. “You are cold”
“Because certain missy wanted to stay out a little more” he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle softly.
We went inside the house and walked upstairs towards the bedrooms, giggling when he picked me up and opened the door of my bedroom. I smiled looking at him, peppering soft kisses on his cheek before he let me stand on my feet in the middle of the room, placing his hands on my waist and slowly wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer.
Lando is someone that waits for the other person to feel comfortable. Before kissing me, he always stands closer and looks at me waiting for an answer. When he wants to hug me, he waits for me to start it. He lets me choose if I want affection even if he's dying to touch me and hold me. And that, waiting for an approval, is something that made me fall for him. 
“Promise me one thing” I whispered against the skin of his neck.
“Of course, what is it?” 
“You will call me and text me whenever you need it too” I said, looking at him. “Don't hold back this time. Not again. If you see something that reminds me of you, just say it. If you miss me, call me”
“I promise” he smiled, kissing the tip of my nose.
I took a deep breath and smiled looking at him, cupping his cheek and pressing my lips on his. He sighed against my lips, holding me tighter and pressing my body on his, deepening the kiss. 
Something changed in that kiss. It was more passionate, deeper, with desire and lust. And still, I returned the same feelings, making me moan the moment I felt his tongue against my lips asking for access to my mouth, wanting to explore and melt his lips with mine, our tongues starting a fight that will only end once both of us are satisfied.
“I don't want to force you” he panties, pulling away to catch his breath.
“You are not, you know it” I argued, kissing him again, and again, and again…
My skin started to burn asking for his touch, desperate to feel his hands over my body. The ache between my legs was increasing, making me rub my thighs trying to find a release. Between our bodies, his length started to get harder, I could feel it. 
I know what will happen next. I know that it will mean something. I know that once we do it there won't be a way back. And thinking about it makes me want him even more.
I saw him half naked before, spending summers together. It was normal seeing him in a bath suit. But now, having him completely naked in front of me, it made me reaffirm that he is indeed attractive.
“Are you sure about this?” he whispered breathless, watching me kiss his chest. “Violet…”
“Shut up” I whisper looking up at him, kneeling and wrapping my hand around him, watching how he closed his eyes and hissed. 
It only made me bite my lip before licking his tip, teasing him before taking him in my mouth. I was still dressed, and it was bad because I could feel myself getting more wet only by sucking him.
“Keep going” he moaned, holding my hair out of my face, pushing my head a little closer to him. “I'm close”
I felt it, I felt him getting closer, and even if he tried to pull out I just kept going until I felt the salty release in my throat. He gasped looking down at me, watching how I let him go and swallowed, licking my lips after that.
“Fuck, that was so hot” he sighed, helping me stand up, pressing his lips on mine.
I moaned, not only because I just realized that I gave him head and I turned him even more, but because I was feeling so wet because I needed him. The ache between my legs was begging me to let him touch me.
He started to undress me slowly, taking off my hoodie and shirt and my joggers. His lips traveled over my body, pressing wet kisses that made me want him even more. 
“I need you” I whisper, tilting my neck to the side when I felt his lips on my neck, leaving a trail of kisses until he reaches my lips.
He nodded and his hand traveled down my stomach, caressing my skin slowly until his fingers touched the elastic of my panties. He never stopped kissing me, not even when his fingers touched my clitoris and I moaned on his lips, not even when he traced my folds with his fingers.
“You are so wet” he whispered. “So wet…”
“Yeah” I nodded, spreading more my legs for him.
I closed my eyes when I felt how he started rubbing my clit, hearing the obscene sounds and being turned even more when he caught between his lips my hard nipple, making me moan quietly. His tongue started to draw circles on it… until he stopped.
“Violet” he whispered, making me hum and frown my eyebrows.
His fingers were no longer touching me, his lips were no longer on my breast. 
“What? What's wrong?” I asked, breathless, frustrated because he stopped touching me.
“I mean, I don't mind, but…” he sighed looking at me with a weak smile. “You are bleeding”
“What?!” I screamed, sitting straight and looking at his hand, then at the bed sheets. 
Red. Fucking red.
“Fucking hell!” I gasped, grabbing the first clothing I found and covering my body with it, standing up in the middle of the room.
My period. My fucking period decided to come right now when I was going to have sex with him. What type of fucking joke is this?
“Violet, it's okay, really” he said, trying to reach for my hand. 
“This is so fucking embarrassing” I gasped looking at his fingers.
“No, it's not. It's normal” he sighed, standing up and taking a step closer to me, but I just pushed him away. “I don't mind, really”
I ran to the bathroom and locked the door before he could follow me. This can't be happening. There's no way this happened now. 
I heard the door of Max and Pietra's room opening and I closed my eyes, feeling tears in my eyes and how my breathing started to get heavier.
God, I want to die! They heard us. They heard me.
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“What happened?” Max frowned, coming out of the room and looking at the bathroom door and then at Violet's room.
“She… eh…” I sighed, swallowing thickly, wrapping myself with the blanket.
“Oh” Pietra smiled weakly when she saw the blood. “I’ll talk with her”
I swallow thickly and look at the bed sheets, then at Max. What am I supposed to do?
“I fucked up” I sighed, taking the sheets off and changing them, cleaning my hand with them and throwing them to the floor. “I fucking embarrassed her”
“Mate, it's okay” he smiled weakly.
“No Max” I frown. “I just… God! Maybe it was a sign. A sign that we are going too fast. That…”
“Hey, hey, stop” he frowned. “Look, none of that is true. Look, whatever you two were doing or were going to do, wasn't a mistake”
“But I just told her the most stupid thing ever!” I exclaimed. “I told her that it was okay and that I didn't mind. God, how can I be that disgusting?”
“You are not, you just wanted to make her feel okay, that's all” he sighed, patting my back. “Come on, let's change the sheets, yeah? I think Pietra is taking care of her”
I sigh and change the bed sheets with his help, waiting for Violet once we finish making the bed. What should I do? I didn't want to make her feel that bad, I just… 
I shook my head and sighed, going to the kitchen and making her a hot chocolate, as an apology. 
“Hey” I heard her sigh, walking inside the kitchen.
“Hey” I smiled. “I'm sorry. So sorry for what happened there. I just…”
“I get it” she sighed. “You wanted to return the favor. But I just didn't notice that today was supposed to come my period and I thought that the wetness was because I was horny and not because of the… well, blood”
“I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, Violet. Please understand that” I said looking at her, opening my arms for her. 
“It's okay, Lando” she sighed, hugging me.
“Maybe it wasn't our time to go the way” I whisper, rubbing her back softly. “And it was better to stop it before we regret that…”
“I wouldn't have regretted having sex with you, Lando” she said, looking up at me. 
“I didn't bring condoms” I said, blushing and looking away. “And of course I wasn't going to ask Max for some”
“Oh, I get it” she chuckled softly, kissing my cheek. “We'll wait. And now, please, give me that hot chocolate”
I nodded and sigh, picking her up and making her sit on the counter, standing between her legs while she drank the hot chocolate. I rubbed her sides, her thighs. I just want to give her some release of her pain, of whatever she feels right now.
I saw her leave the cup on the counter and I smiled weakly at her. She cupped my cheeks and kissed me softly, making me sigh.
“Do you need something? Pads? Tampons? I'll go to the village” I asked against her lips.
“It's okay, Pietra gave me what I needed” she said, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. 
“I changed the sheets” I whispered. 
“Mhm, I saw”
I sigh, breaking the kiss and looking at her. There's still that feeling of guilt in my chest, of starting something the moment I started that kiss in her bedroom. 
“Lando, it's okay” she sighed. “We can try once you are back from work”
“I just don't want it to be staged, Violet” I sighed. “I don't want to put a day for the first time I have sex with you. I want it to go natural, to happen because both of us wanted to..”
“Oh, believe me. The moment you'll press the doorbell of my apartment I'll want you naked in my bedroom” she joked, making me chuckle softly. 
“Silly” I laughed softly, kissing her lips. 
“I just want our first time together to be something we will remember” she sighed, playing with my hair. “I don't want it to be dumb and clumsy because our friends are sleeping in the room next door. Maybe it was a good signal, okay?”
I nodded and sigh, kissing her forehead softly and rubbing her thighs softly. She drank the chocolate until she finished it, hugging me again.
“And the way you acted… thank you for that” I heard her whisper. 
“Why?” I frown looking at her.
“It's just… how you acted” she smiled. “You weren't disgusted about it. Believe me, it made me feel a little better when I calmed down and realized what happened”
“Why would I be disgusted?” I frown, squeezing her hips softly.
“Oh, believe me. The guys I used to date literally avoided me like the plague whenever I told them I had my period” she smiled weakly, making me roll my eyes.
“Then let me tell you that you dated assholes, my dear” I laugh softly. 
“I know” she smiled weakly, and I just kissed her lips softly. 
“Let's go to bed, yeah? We can cuddle” I smiled. 
“Yes, please”
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The warmth of his hand on my low abdomen made me sleep, and I felt so grateful for that. 
The next morning I felt better, but knowing that we are leaving in a few hours made my heart break a little. I know what will happen once we step in the airport. Pietra and I will go back home, and Lando and Max will go to Sweden.
“How are you feeling?” I heard him whisper behind me, making me turn around slowly and hide my face on his chest.
“Like shit, basically” I sighed. “But it's okay”.
“Does it hurt?” he whispered, rubbing my lower back. “Do you need something? A painkiller?”
“It's okay, Lando” I whisper. “I'll take a painkiller with breakfast and I'll be okay, don't worry”
“I do worry, you are in pain and I can't do anything about it” he sighed, making me chuckle softly.
“Ah, stop it! You are going to make me fall harder for you” I laughed softly.
“Then I won't stop” he joked, kissing my forehead.
We cuddled a little more, not wanting to leave the bed, but both of us knew that we had a plane to take and things to do. And I hate to admit it, but leaving him made me feel bad.
“Thank you for this week” I whisper. “Really, thank you”
“No, Violet” he smiled, brushing my hair out of my face. “Thank you, for giving me a chance during this week. If I told the Lando of two weeks ago that I kissed you and you kissed me back, he wouldn't believe it”
“Oh, silly” I laughed, hitting his chest softly.
We got up after a while, trying to stay in bed as long as possible. Our suitcases were ready, we only needed to put the sleeping clothes inside of them and get dressed. 
It was a quiet breakfast, Max and Pietra were quiet too. My mind was full of questions of “what if…”. What if when I return home Eloise is no longer my friend? What if Harry hurt her? What if Harry managed to make that threat come true? His phone didn't have those pictures he mentioned, but maybe those were on his laptop. What if he sent them to the tabloids? What if…
“Hey” Lando smiled, holding my hand and squeezing it softly. “It will be okay, don't worry”
I smiled weakly and nodded, finishing my breakfast and heading back to the bedroom to grab all my things. I looked for one last time to the bedroom, to the trees covered in snow in front of the window. This place saw me fall for Lando, and I wish those stay with me and come with me to London. I don't want to regret who I am right now.
“Ready?” I heard Lando behind me, making me turn around and walk towards him, pressing my lips on his for a few seconds. “Let's go”
He helped me with the suitcase and then he put it in the back of the car with the other ones. He held my hand and rubbed his thumb on it softly, kissing my forehead and going back inside to take other things.
“I'll miss this place” I heard Pietra sigh next to me. “It was nice, I liked it”
“Yeah well, let's hope we come back someday, and this time without arguments during the stay, right?” I smiled weakly, remembering that day when Harry went mad.
“Are you okay?” she smiled weakly.
“I guess I'll have to deal with it” I said. “I sent Eloise a text the other day, just telling her how I felt and what happened. I don't know if she replied or not”
“That's good” she nodded. 
“Yeah, well… I wanted to do the same with Harry, but I guess I didn't want to risk it and go back to his lies” I smiled weakly. “Maybe I'll do it someday, but at the moment I want to stay away from him”
She nodded and smiled, hugging me and getting inside the car, waiting for Lando and Max to come out of the house. I sighed, sitting in the front and looking at my phone. No texts from Eloise, nothing from her. Maybe she didn't read what I sent her, or she ignored it.
The way to the airport was fast, time passed really fast and all I wanted was to stay here longer. I held Lando's all the time during the check in, while waiting for the plane.
“It will be okay” he smiled, hugging me and kissing my temple. “It's only a few days, okay? I'll be there soon”
“I know” I sighed. “Text me whenever you want, okay?”
“Of course” he smiled. “And you will text me once you land”
I sighed and nodded, kissing his lips softly. 
I don't care what others might think. Five days? Time passes fast! But when you discover who you are when you are with someone and you feel comfortable with them, you don't want them to leave. The Violet from a week ago would think that I look pathetic, doing something I promised myself I wouldn't do: act like an innocent girl in love that all she wants is to be with her lover.
“Come on, they are calling us” Pietra smiled weakly.
I nodded and laughed sadly, waving goodbye to Max and Lando and going with her towards our gate.
“I looked ridiculous, right?” I sighed, sitting next to her. 
“You looked in love, that's all” she smiled. “It was cute. I'm sure Lando will miss you too”
“Yeah…” I smiled. “I didn't tell him yet. That, well… that I love him”
“You do?” she gasped while holding my hand.
“I think I do” I nodded. “After what he did last night… He made me realize that I never had someone that treated the way he does. And it makes me feel so good and loved”
“That's wonderful, Violet” she smiled. “Bieber me when I say that this whole week you grew up so much. You changed and I love this new Violet more than the previous one”
“I do, too”
The flight was short, and since we had to go different ways, we said goodbye once we walked out of the airport. 
The moment I got inside the underground, realization hit me hard knowing that I had to go back to the routine, that I was alone and that my home is nothing compared to that beautiful house in the snow. That my neighbors are noisy and that my room has views of the crowded streets and traffic lights.
I took a deep breath the moment I opened the door of the building, smiling at the receptionist.
“Oh, Violet. You have some packages for you” 
I frown and smile, grabbing the boxes and carrying them alongside my suitcase and backpack. Once I was inside my apartment I grabbed my phone, smiling and texting him.
Violet: you didn't have to send me more gifts, Lando. Really, now that I know it's you, you just can hand it to me once you are back 🧡
Lando🧡: what? I didn't send you anything, at least not yet
Violet: what?
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nerdzzone · 1 year
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Worlds Apart
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Chapter Six
Summary: Single mom, Bridget Clark, thought that she was fine by herself. Moving her son to a new town and out of the hustle and bustle of Boston, she thought that life would be quieter and simpler, but a chance encounter with a certain Hollywood actor only a week after their big move had her questioning everything. Bridget was faced with the ultimate decision of head vs heart, but would letting her guard down prove to be worth the risk?
Series Masterlist
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Bridget was notably less nervous as she drove towards Chris’ house for their second date than she had been for their first.
There was still a flicker of anxiety in her stomach as being face to face was slightly more intimidating than texting or their occasional phone conversations, but she was more confident in Chris’ interest in her after their months of talking and was hopeful that the level of comfort they’d reached would help counteract any potential awkwardness. They’d never had to force conversation while he’d been away and things always felt very natural between them, but she was aware that the strain of the long interlude between the two dates might seem more obvious in person.
She tried not to let herself get too in her own head about the situation as she knew from past experience that worrying about potential trouble before it arose tended to cause more problems than it solved, but she didn’t want to be caught off guard by anything that might help her anxiety get the best of her. She’d settled for simply assuming things would be just as easy when they were together as they were when they were apart while also bracing herself for the potential of a slightly awkward settling in period as she hoped that their evening would go as well as she was expecting.
However, as she drove up his long driveway until his large house came into view, she was once again reminded of how different their lives were. She stared in awe at the incredibly nice house until she was parked in front of it and drowning in a feeling of inferiority. It made her house look like a tiny, old shack and she was embarrassed by what he must have thought when he saw it. It was enough space for her and Landon and she took pride in taking care of it and making it a nice home - hence the quick and thorough interior design shift - but compared to the standard that Chris was clearly used to, her house was practically a shed.
She was surprised though when movement by the front door caught her attention and snapped her back to reality as the sight of Chris leaning against the doorframe had all of her worries slipping from her mind. They were replaced with the giddiness that always seemed to hit her whenever his name had popped up on her phone, but now he was there - just a few feet away - and she hurried to grab the things she’d brought with her from the passenger seat before climbing out of the car.
“Your house is amazing,” she gushed as she walked up the stairs of his porch.
“Thanks,” he smirked. “Just wait until you see the bright pink accent wall in the living room.”
His teasing earned a bark of laughter as Bridget rolled her eyes.
“Very funny, but I’m sure you have better taste than the possibly colorblind previous owners of my home.”
“I do, I definitely do,” he chuckled at his own joke, but as he peeked through the plastic wrap that covered the top of the mixing bowl she’d been holding, his eyes widened. “Did you actually make the pizza dough?”
After Chris had spent so much time on the road and away from home, they’d decided that their second date would just be a nice quiet evening at his house. He’d offered to order in some food, but Bridget had suggested making homemade pizza instead. She thought it would be a fun little activity for them to do together and had offered to bring the dough if Chris got the toppings so she was slightly confused by his question.
“Yes?” She answered, the word sounding far more like a question of her own than a statement. “I thought that was the plan?”
“Yeah, it was,” Chris assured her as he led her into the house. Despite his teasing, it was just as nice inside as it was on the outside. The decoration was quite minimalist and the level of tidiness and organization had her feeling another twinge of embarrassment about the well lived-in state of her own home, but Chris pulled her attention away from the décor as he continued. “I just didn’t expect you to make it, I guess. I thought you’d just buy it.”
“No way, homemade is way better,” she insisted, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the thought of bringing anything else. “It didn’t take me long, it’s Landon’s favourite so I’ve kinda mastered the process.”
“Oh, so you’re a pro?” Chris flashed her a smirk as he put all the stuff on the table. “I guess I’m in for a treat then.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Bridget protested. “I haven’t necessarily mastered the recipe, but I’ve mastered the preparation process so it doesn’t take long and I had to work late last night so I took the afternoon off and had plenty of time to make it.”
“Well, I appreciate your dedication,” Chris smiled. “The toppings are in the bag on the counter.”
Intrigued to see what he’d chosen, Bridget rolled up her sleeves as she moved towards the bag he’d pointed to, but she was surprised when she passed by him and his hand shot out to gently grab hers. She froze, wondering if she’d done something wrong, but the look on his face and the way his other hand slid around her waist to steer her body in towards his had her relaxing slightly despite the way her heart was suddenly pounding in her chest. 
The anticipation had the air around them suddenly feeling thick and heavy, but the way Chris had paused once he’d pulled her into his arms had her feeling a little confused and after a moment of waiting for some kind of explanation, she asked, “Is everything okay?”
Her voice was low and soft, but it seemed to echo in the silence of the room and pried Chris out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, never better,” he smiled. “It’s just that I was gonna use some line about hoping we could say hello properly, but it seems a little cheesy.”
Bridget matched his smile as she moved her hand that wasn’t being held by his up to rest on his chest and raised an eyebrow.
“What does that even mean?”
“Who knows,” Chris shrugged. “But I’ve been thinking about kissing you pretty much from the moment our last kiss ended so I’d really like to do it again if you don’t mind.”
It seemed cliche, but Bridget swore her heart literally skipped a beat at his confession. However, despite her sudden heart palpitations and the fact that how he was holding her had her almost forgetting how to breathe, she bit back the smirk that was threatening to sneak onto her face.
“That was pretty cheesy too,” she teased him. “But I’ve also been thinking about that a lot so I’d very much like it if you did.”
Her confirmation was all it took for Chris to move his hand up to cup her cheek before leaning forward to press his lips against hers. It was soft and sweet - tender, if Bridget had to sum it up in one word - as the emotions and feelings they’d developed over the last few months of conversations clearly heightened their connection. She leaned into his embrace and revelled in the feeling of his lips that she’d spent so many hours daydreaming about until he reluctantly pulled away.
“That was even better than I remember,” Chris murmured, a soft and satisfied smile on his face that had a giggle slipping from Bridget’s lips. “Definitely worth waiting for.”
“I agree,” Bridget nodded. “But I hope you won’t leave me waiting so long for the next one.”
Chris opened his mouth to reply - with Bridget hoping that he’d simply offer to kiss her again immediately with no waiting necessary - but the sounds of scratching and a loud, indignant bark distracted them.
“That’s Dodger,” Chris explained as Bridget moved out of his grasp. “I put him in the backyard. I don’t think he’s very happy about it, but I wasn’t sure how you felt about dogs.”
“I love dogs,” she rushed to assure him, horrified that there was any doubt. “I just don’t have time to train one while I’m taking care of Landon, but we had a great time when we borrowed him from Carly while you were away.”
“Okay, great,” Chris smiled, appearing visibly relieved by that information. “So is it cool if I let him back in?”
Bridget nodded enthusiastically and Chris briefly disappeared from the room until the sound of claws pattering on the floor echoed down the hall and Dodger barreled into the kitchen with Chris right behind him. As soon as Dodger saw Bridget, his tail began to wag frantically as he bolted towards her and jumped up to lick at her face in greeting. She could hear Chris chuckle as he told Dodger to behave and leave her alone, but she simply laughed as she rubbed at the dog’s fur.
“Hi, buddy,” she greeted him. “How are you? Do you remember me from that big walk we went on?”
“I think he does,” Chris observed. “He seems to like you.”
“I get the impression that he likes most people.”
“That’s true, but he is a good judge of character,” Chris insisted before whistling to get Dodger’s attention. “That’s enough, bubba, leave her alone.”
Reluctantly, Dodger listened to his owner and sauntered back over towards Chris as Bridget made her way over to the bag on the counter that she’d intended to investigate before Chris had interrupted. What she found seemed to be almost enough supplies to make pizza for half the town and she told him as much as she started unpacking the bag, placing the wide array of toppings on the counter as Chris chuckled at her teasing.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d want,” he explained. “Your answer of ‘whatever’ wasn’t super informative.”
“No, but I meant it,” Bridget shrugged. “I’m used to settling for whatever Landon prefers, it’s made me adaptable.”
“Well, I don’t want you to have to settle tonight,” Chris insisted. “I want you to have whatever you really want.”
The sincerity in his voice had Bridget filled with an appreciation for his thoughtfulness and she flashed him a grateful smile as he leaned back on the counter beside her and asked, “So, it’s been a while since I made pizza at home, what do we do first?”
Happy to explain, Bridget launched into a brief rundown of what they would have to do before pushing her sleeves back up her arms, asking where the flour was and liberally sprinkling it on the counter. She unwrapped the bowl with the dough, gave them each a decent portion and they set to work, molding and shaping their pizzas before adding all the many toppings that Chris had chosen for them. With Chris’ kiss breaking the tension, Bridget was pleasantly surprised by how casual the physical contact was between them as they worked. His hand on her waist to let her know he was there as he moved behind her, a bump of his hip following a teasing comment, tucking her hair behind her ear when her hands were too floury to do it herself. He hadn’t been lying when he shared that he was physical with his affection and Bridget was soaking up every minute of it.  
Any worries she’d had that it might be awkward or that the conversations they’d had over the phone might almost seem like they were with a different man than the one who’d taken her on a date all those months ago were clearly unnecessary. Her lack of recent practice in the dating scene left her far from an expert, but from her previous experience she was pretty certain that it was rare to connect with someone as quickly as she had with Chris. As early as it was, she had a very good feeling about their relationship and was hopeful that Chris felt the same way.
Time flew by as they cooked, ate and got lost in conversation, and they stayed sitting at the table long after the meal was finished as they were too engrossed in each other to even realize they could move to somewhere more comfortable. They covered a wide range of topics from typical everyday things to more personal revelations, but Bridget found herself letting her guard down so easily around Chris and noticed that he seemed to do the same. Considering his career and level of fame, she wouldn’t have held it against him if he held his cards a little closer to his chest, but he opened up just as much as she did and the trust that she knew he was putting in her every time he spoke about his family or his hopes and dreams only solidified her belief that he shared her hope for their relationship.
And that belief only got stronger when she glanced at the clock later that night and announced that she should head home and he immediately blurted out the question: “When can I see you again?”
“Well, next week is my week with Landon,” she explained before sharing the suggestion she’d thought of to avoid going an entire week without seeing him. “But I don’t work on Tuesday and Thursday when he’s with me and he did really enjoy spending time with Dodger so I was thinking maybe we could all go for a hike?”
“Yeah? You’re okay with me spending time with him?”
“Yeah,” Bridget shrugged. “He knows that we’re friends.”
“Friends…” Chris repeated, shooting her a sly smile. “And is that all that we are?”
The question had Bridget’s cheeks growing hot as she knew the answer that she wanted to give - and that she was fairly certain he wanted to hear - but the potential rejection that came with being the first to admit it had her feeling rather vulnerable.
“Well,” she started, forcing a smirk to hide her nervousness. “I don’t let any of my friends kiss me the way you did when I got here, but explaining the concept of dating to a four year old might be kinda tricky.”
“That’s fair,” Chris chuckled. “As long as we’re on the same page.”
“I think we are,” Bridget nodded, unable to control the grin that he always seemed to put so easily on her face. “But I also understand if you don’t want Landon to be around. Obviously, eventually that would be important to me, but if you’d rather keep things just us for now then I totally get that.”
She was being honest with her reassurance, but the surprise on his face and the quick shake of his head definitely put her at ease. Landon was the most important thing to her and if whatever they were starting was going to go anywhere then it would only work if Chris was as happy to include him in their plans as she was.
“I don’t mind at all!” Chris insisted. “He seems like a really great kid.”
“He is,” Bridget smiled proudly. “And if you bring Dodger then that will keep him entertained all afternoon.”
“Well, Dodger would be pissed if I went for a hike and left him at home so he will definitely be there,” Chris chuckled. “I do have an appointment on Tuesday though. It might not be long, but it’s right in the middle of the afternoon so maybe Thursday would be better?”
“Thursday sounds great.”
Bridget rose from the table as she confirmed their plans, but as she grabbed the plates and turned towards the sink, Chris stood as well and voiced his protests.
“Don’t worry about the dishes, I have a dishwasher.”
“I figured, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you clean up a little.”
“Yeah, but you don’t need to,” he insisted. “I thought you had to get home.”
His reminder earned a snort of laughter from Bridget as she put the plates in the sink and turned back to him with a smirk and an eyebrow raised in suspicion.
“Are you trying to get rid of me now?”
Chris took advantage of the way she’d moved away from the counter to face him and slid his arm around her waist to tug her body towards his as he’d done earlier in the evening.
“Definitely not,” he assured her, a cheeky grin on his face. “But if you’re gonna stick around then I can think of a few things we could do that are more fun than washing dishes.”
As Chris let his hands settle on her waist, Bridget let hers drape over his shoulders as his words had her swallowing hard.
“Oh yeah?” She questioned, her voice softer than it had been moments before. “Like what?”
“Like this…”
As he dipped his chin down, the brief moment of anticipation had Bridget’s heart fluttering in her chest before he finally captured her lips with his once again. His grip tightened on her waist, pulling her even closer to his chest, but Bridget needed no encouragement to lean into his embrace. She found herself noting how easy it would be to get lost in his touch, his warm and comforting scent and the way he nipped at her bottom lip, but after letting herself indulge for a few moments, she slowly dragged her lips away and let out a happy sigh as she peered up at him.
“That is a very tempting offer,” she informed him. “But I really should get going, I have to work in the morning.”
“On a Saturday?”
The surprise in his voice was clear and Bridget begrudgingly nodded her head.
“We’re doing a storytime picnic thing on the first Saturday of every month for the summer,” she explained. “And tomorrow is the first Saturday in June. It sounded like a good idea back in February, but now I’m regretting it a little bit.”
“I know that feeling,” Chris chuckled. “But maybe it’ll be fun?”
“Oh, I’m sure it will be,” Bridget smiled as she pulled herself out of his arms as much as it pained her to do so. “The morning might be a little hectic, but once things get underway it should be a good time.”
She picked up her mixing bowl from where she’d left it on the counter, but Chris quickly took it from her hands.
“Leave that here,” he insisted. “I’ll wash it and give it back to you on Thursday.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. Unless you need it before then?” Chris waited for her to shake her head before placing it back on the counter. “Then leave it. I don’t want you taking home dirty dishes to clean at home, that would make me a pretty bad host.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Bridget shrugged with a smile as they headed towards the door. “But thank you, I appreciate your chivalry.”
Her word choice earned a raise of Chris’ eyebrow as he questioned her.
“Is that really chivalrous?” He asked. “You must have a pretty low bar.”
“Trust me,” Bridget scoffed. “My bar is pretty much on the ground, so you’re absolutely exceeding expectations.”
“I’m not sure that’s a compliment,” Chris mused, his eyes narrowing into a suspicious glare as he opened the front door. “You might just need to raise your standards.”
“I don’t think so,” Bridget admitted. “I think you’d be a catch regardless of how high my standards are.”
In a move that surprised them both, she stretched up to emphasize her words by stealing another quick kiss before slipping out the door and heading back to her car as she waved over her shoulder.
-
Bridget thought that it would be almost impossible for anyone to be more excited about seeing Chris on Thursday than she was.
However, when she mentioned their plan to spend the afternoon hiking to Landon, she had to admit that his enthusiasm definitely rivalled her own and even though she was pretty sure that it had more to do with Dodger than it did with Chris, she was happy that he found the prospect of hanging out with their new friends to be as exciting as she did. He spent the entire morning asking when they were leaving and as much as the perpetual ‘how much longer?’ usually got on her nerves, Bridget could hardly complain as she found herself checking the time just as frequently.
By the time they were pulling into the small parking lot by the trail that Chris had sent her directions to, their anticipation had them both practically leaping out of the car as soon as it was parked. Landon waited to walk beside Bridget - knowing better than to dart off in the middle of a parking lot - but as soon as they reached the trail and could see Chris and Dodger waiting for them by a tree, his restraint slipped and he bolted towards them, calling out for his new favourite dog. When Bridget caught up, Chris was laughing and warning Dodger to be gentle as he practically wrestled with Landon on the ground and she smiled as she rolled her eyes.
“Landon, did you even say hi to Chris?” She asked. “Or did you just go straight for Dodger?”
“He went straight for Dodge,” Chris admitted. “But I’m used to him stealing the show whenever he’s around.”
“I’m not surprised,” she smiled, but when Chris whistled for Dodger to pull his attention away from his new friend and Landon stood up, Bridget reminded him of his manners again. “Are you gonna say hi to Chris too?”
“Hi, Chris,” he grinned, waiting for Chris to greet him before he added, “I really like your dog.”
“He really likes you too,” Chris chuckled. “He was very excited to go on a hike with you today.”
“Me too!”
Landon’s enthusiasm spoke for itself, but Bridget chuckled as she nodded in agreement.
“He was,” she confirmed. “He’s been counting down the minutes all morning.”
“So was I.” Chris flashed her a smirk that had her smile widening even more as his words hung in the air between them for a moment before he changed the subject. “Are we ready to head out? The trail isn’t too long or challenging, but it’s pretty scenic so it’s one of my favourites.”
“Everywhere is scenic around here compared to living in the city,” she pointed out as they headed down the path. “I feel like an idiot for not exploring more around here, it’s not like Boston is a million miles away.”
It was something that Bridget had been reflecting on as they explored their new town and she realized how little she’d ventured out of the city. She’d been to a few places for weekend getaways, but it was surprising - and embarrassing - how little she’d really seen of her home state and she was determined to embrace any opportunity to experience the beauty that it had to offer. However, before she could elaborate on her statement and share that with Chris, Landon interrupted. 
“You’re not supposed to say that,” he informed her. “My teachers say idiot isn’t a nice word.”
Chris chuckled at his scolding as Bridget cringed, knowing he was right. The daycare he attended had mentioned in their weekly update email that words like that were a problem they were currently working on with all the children and had gently reminded parents to be cautious how they talk at home as the kids were always listening. While Bridget was fairly certain that Landon knew better than to use words like that when talking to or about his friends, clearly she needed the reminder to watch what she said.
“You’re right, buddy, I shouldn't have said that,” she admitted. “Thanks for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome,” Landon shrugged before turning his attention to Chris. “Are you an astronaut?”
“Me?” Chris asked, his shock at the question written all over his face as Landon nodded. “I wish! That would be so cool, but unfortunately not. What made you think that?”
“Mommy said that you know lots about space,” Landon informed him, his voice laced with disappointment. “I wanted to go with you.”
“I know a little bit about space,” Chris corrected. “But I do like learning about it and I would love to go too.”
“I wanna go to Jupiter! It’s the biggest planet!”
“It is,” Chris nodded in agreement. “I bet it’s pretty cool, but the pictures I’ve seen from Mars are pretty amazing too.”
“There’s pictures from Mars?” Landon asked, his eyes wide with excitement. “I haven’t seen that!”
Chris gasped and shot Bridget an accusatory look as he pulled out his phone, but she simply shrugged.
“I told you, I don’t know much about it,” she defended herself. “That didn’t come up when I was Googling stuff.”
“You must not have been looking very hard,” he teased, but after a moment of typing on his phone, he slipped it back into his pocket with a sigh. “I don’t have a great service out here so I can’t find the pictures, but maybe it’ll work when we get back to the car. Can you remind me then?”
“Uh huh, I’ll remember!” Landon promised and Bridget had no doubt in her mind that he would as he asked Chris another question. “Can I hold Dodger’s leash?”
“Of course!”
Chris happily handed it over to Landon and they watched as he darted off down the path with Dodger galloping along happily beside him. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, Chris slipped his hand into Bridget’s and pulled her close enough against his side for him to lean down and steal a kiss before letting her slip away as if nothing had happened. She appreciated his discretion around Landon, but the fleeting warmth of his hand around hers was almost enough for her to throw caution to the wind and she was relieved when his voice distracted her from the temptation.
“I think I’ve said this before, but he’s a good kid,” Chris observed, nodding his head towards Landon as if she might not know who he was referring to. “I see what you mean about his energy though.”
“Oh yeah, energy and enthusiasm are two things that he is definitely not lacking,” Bridget smiled. “I used to be kinda worried about how he’ll do in school, but he really loves to learn so I think that’ll motivate him to focus some of his energy.”
“Does he like to learn about everything? Or just things that interest him?”
“Right now, he’s into pretty much everything. I’m sure when he gets older he’ll have more specific things he likes and things that he’ll find painfully boring, but he finds everything fascinating at the moment,” Bridget explained. “He loves numbers, letters, and trying to read. He’s obsessed with how things work and why things happen. He just wants to know everything about everything.”
“It’s hard to imagine how big the world must look to kids his age,” Chris mused. “I know there was a time when we were all just baffled little four year olds, but there’s so much knowledge we have as adults that we take for granted.”
“I know what you mean,” Bridget agreed. “But his curiosity is definitely making me smarter. There’s a lot of questions he asks where the first answer that comes to mind is ‘just because’, but that’s never satisfactory for him so it forces me to really think about real explanations for why or how things happen.”
“I’ve run into that with my niece and nephews a few times,” Chris sympathized. “But then it can be hard to explain some of the big concepts that they want to know in a way they can understand.”
“Exactly,” Bridget smiled. “I’m always like ‘chill, kid, let’s focus on learning the alphabet before we start tackling all the mysteries of the universe’.”
Her words pulled a bark of laughter from Chris that had her biting back a smirk at the pride she felt at being responsible for the sound until they settled into a comfortable silence. The only sound around them was the crunch of the trail under their feet and Landon’s giggles as he paused to play tug-of-war over a stick with Dodger and the moment filled Bridget with a contentment that she hadn’t realized she’d been missing from her life. However, the next question out of Chris’ mouth put her a little on edge.
“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
“Of course,” she assured him. “You can ask me anything.”
“Have you told your ex about me?” He asked before clarifying, “Landon’s dad, I mean.”
Relieved that despite his suddenly serious tone that was all he wanted to know, Bridget nodded her head.
“I told him I was seeing someone when he dropped Landon off on Sunday,” she informed him. “I was vague - I didn’t tell him who you are or anything - but I told him that we’d gone on a couple dates and that I hope we’ll be going on a lot more.”
Bridget couldn’t help but notice the smile that her admission put on Chris’ face and it had her hope shifting into optimism even when he glossed over it as he continued his questioning.
“Does he know that I’m hanging out with you when Landon’s around?” He asked. “Is he okay with that?”
“I told him about our plans for today and he was fine with it. I think he trusts me to handle it in a way that won’t lead to Landon getting hurt.”
“That’s good,” Chris nodded. “I know it can be kinda complicated and I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.”
“You’re definitely not,” she assured him. “And as much as I will always try to be respectful of Marcus, he doesn’t really have the right to comment too much on any relationships that I have given the way that his relationship started.”
“Do you mind if I ask about that?” Chris questioned. “About how it all went down?”
“I’m a pretty open book, you can ask me anything,” Bridget repeated with a smile. “But there’s not that much to tell. He got a little distant almost as soon as I told him that I was pregnant, but I thought that I was just hormonal and paranoid. It got worse around the five month mark so I confronted him and he completely fell apart and told me everything - how he’d been struggling with his sexuality, but he was gay and he couldn’t hide it anymore. Then he told me about David and how they’d been seeing each other for months, pretty much since the day I told him I was pregnant.”
Chris shook his head, the furrow of his brow showing he was clearly unimpressed by what she’d shared as he asked, “And you were able to get over that?”
“It definitely took some time,” Bridget admitted. “I was devastated at first. I went from thinking we were starting a family to realizing I was going to be a single mom and it felt even worse knowing that Marcus was still starting a family, but with our child and someone else. I was terrified that they were going to cut me out and that I wouldn’t be able to give Landon everything that they could. All while I was trying to deal with just how horrible it felt to be cheated on.”
“So how did you get through it?”
“Because I had to,” she shrugged. “I knew I had to think about Landon so I gave myself a week to be sad and mope around and then I made myself regroup. The best thing for him is to have two parents who love him and can work as a team so that’s what I focused on and Marcus was always very clear that he did love me, he just wasn’t in love with me for reasons he can’t control so after some time passed and all the dust settled, we were able to keep the strong friendship that we’d built while we were together.”
There was a moment of silence as Chris took in her words before he processed it enough to comment.
“You’re a very strong person,” he commended her, the sincerity shining through in his voice. “I’m not sure I’d be able to forgive something like that so easily.”
“If it wasn’t for Landon then I’m not sure that I would have either. Marcus is a good friend though so I am happy that I did,” Bridget admitted. “But that’s kinda why he can’t say much about my dating life now. I never argued about David’s involvement in Landon’s life so as long as he’s safe and happy then it’s none of Marcus’ business who I let into his life and I think he knows that.”
“Well, I’m glad that he’s not giving you a hard time. I wouldn’t wanna get in the way.”
Bridget appreciated his concern, but his worry had a scoff falling from her lips.
“If he had an issue with it then it would be him getting in the way,” she insisted. “As long as Landon is safe then his opinion is not important.”
The confidence with which she spoke seemed to remove any lingering doubt that he had as a chuckle fell from his lips and he threw his arm around her shoulder to pull her close enough to press a kiss into her hair.
They followed Landon and Dodger down the path, happy to let them lead the way as they enjoyed the time it gave them to talk as Landon enjoyed hanging out with his new furry friend. He did a great job of running free without going too far ahead or veering off the trail and it wasn’t until they were halfway back to their cars that they had to call for him to stop when Bridget needed to re-tie her shoe. Chris took the opportunity to call Dodger over for a drink of water, but Bridget didn’t even notice that Landon hadn’t followed until a question from Chris pulled her eyes up from her shoelaces.
“Uh, how do we feel about climbing trees?”
Bridget followed Chris’ gaze to see Landon - unsurprisingly - beginning to scale one of the large trees on the side of the trail and a sigh fell from her lips.
“It depends which one of us you ask,” she explained as she quickly finished tying her shoe and rose back up from her squat. “Landon loves it and thinks it should be his new favourite hobby, but I find it very stressful and have visions of him falling and being impaled on a branch so we came up with a compromise.”
“Oh, yeah?”
A soft smirk was on Chris’ face as he questioned her, apparently amused by the situation as Bridget nodded and turned to Landon to remind him of their deal.
“Landon!” She called, catching his attention. “Remember not to go any higher than my head!”
Even with the distance between them, his disappointment was clear as he let out a whine of frustration.
“But you’re not big!” They heard him call back before proposing a counter offer. “Can I go as high as Chris? He can help if I get stuck!”
It was less about him getting stuck and more about him falling to his death that had Bridget worried, but she also knew that taking risks and pushing boundaries was how kids learned and improved their skills and there was an argument to be made for how climbing trees could help his confidence and coordination. She could feel Chris watching her, waiting for her approval before he offered Landon his support so after wrestling with her concern for a moment longer, she let out another sigh and nodded her head.
“If Chris doesn’t mind then I guess that would be okay.” The words were barely out of Bridget’s mouth before Landon let out a cheer of excitement and continued his scramble up the branches, earning an eye roll from his mother as her and Chris sauntered over to him. “I can tell him to stop if you’re not comfortable helping since he clearly isn’t going to wait for you to agree.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Chris chuckled. “I used to love climbing trees when I was a kid so I don’t mind helping out if he needs it.”
As promised, Landon stopped when he got about six feet in the air, but after he took a moment to observe - and express his jealousy that Chris got to see from so high up all the time - he realized that he wasn’t entirely sure how to get down. Bridget could see the panic growing on his face, but before she could offer him any reassurance or advice, Chris beat her to it. With admirable patience, he gently and calmly guided Landon down through the branches in a way that allowed him to get himself out of the sticky situation that he’d created without Chris physically needing to help him. It was a display of Chris’ natural comfort and skill with kids and by the time Landon had both feet safely on the ground - proudly celebrating that he’d done it by himself - Bridget’s heart was feeling very warm and full. Unable to resist, she slipped her hand into his and pulled him close to her side as she murmured her thanks while Landon dragged Dodger off ahead of them once again.
By the time they made it back to the start of the trail, it was safe to say that Landon was exhausted. He tried to deny it even as he dragged his feet and rubbed his sleepy eyes, but he found one last burst of energy as Bridget helped him get strapped into his booster seat.
“Chris! You didn’t show me Mars!”
Bridget laughed at his reminder as she heard Chris chuckling behind her and as she backed out of the car he quickly asked her for her phone. She unlocked it and handed it over, watching curiously as he searched until he found a video and hit play before handing the phone to Landon.
“There you go, buddy,” he smiled. “Watch that for a minute, okay?”
Landon absentmindedly agreed as he was already distracted by the video from the robot on Mars and Chris carefully closed the car door. Satisfied that Landon was sufficiently distracted, he pulled Bridget into his arms and wasted no time before he pressed his lips against hers. The speed of his movements had her letting out a gasp, but it didn’t take long for her to smile against his mouth and lean into his body. She’d been surprised by how much of a struggle it had been to keep things strictly ‘just friends’ between them all afternoon and she embraced the opportunity to indulge in his touch. When he pulled away a moment later, she was desperate to chase his lips for more, but she forced herself to remember the little eyes that could be watching and let him step out of her grasp.
“I had fun today,” he smiled. “We should do something like this again soon.”
“We should,” Bridget agreed, trying to shake the daze she always felt after he kissed her. “I’ll text you later?”
“Sounds good,” Chris nodded as she opened her car door. “Get home safe.”
“You too.”
Bridget flashed him a smile as she climbed into her car, reflecting on how it seemed to get harder and harder to say goodbye every time they parted ways, but as she drove away and waved to him in the rearview mirror she was feeling incredibly grateful for the afternoon they’d spent together and how easy and natural it felt to include Chris into the life that she was used to sharing solely with Landon.
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nathaniel-donovan · 2 months
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You have to break down before you can breakthrough. – Marilyn Ferguson.
Summary: View into Nate's mind, snippets of each day he's been gone, and an introduction to his NA/AA sponsor. Timespan: A week. Mentions: Donovan Clan and basically everyone he's let down. Triggers: drugs, addiction, grief, blood, depressive thoughts??
day 1.
An ominous silence seemed to surrounded Nate with the way he carried himself, he physically feels numb in as equal parts as he does out of focus. Everything was disorienting and he was beyond the point of finding his footing. If he was ever to be asked if had hit rock bottom before, he’d have said yes, under false impressions that he had. Yet as he sat with his dominate hand on the steering wheel, his left dragging down his face, only to push back up for his thumb and index to wipe the tears from falling under his eyes, it was like he had finally fallen through that trapdoor. Finally hitting himself so firmly that the only way now for him surely was up; if he would allow that. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, Nate’s issue was that he mentally couldn’t do it. All the fragments of himself that were broken, were so far apart it felt like it’d take more than just his lifetime to bring them back to heal. Physically there was nothing left of himself to tear down and while he sat in his own silence, he was lazily focused on the highway with no real direction he was heading into.
He wasn’t running, contrary to popular belief, this was him trying to make his own choices. His nephew was missing and while he had tried to make small attempts to do whatever he physically could; he felt hopeless. He had decided to put an end to his relationship because he couldn’t cope with the person he was becoming; it’s self sabotage. He’s driving away from town knowing he was letting down not just his daughter but Olivia with the former plans they had made, ones he wasn’t showing up to, and it’s down to that fact of him not being able to be the person they needed. Or anyone. He could no longer extend himself off into branches as there was nothing left for him to offer. He had tried. The last eight months had consisted of him attempting to take two steps forward, for him to continuously get pushed back five. It was his own fault — at least that’s what Nate believed — it was his own fault because it’s what he deserved. His reality was that it was that disease of addiction completely wrapping around his brain and consuming it, one that he hadn’t been strong enough to fight off, to let it just lay dormant while he held a grip on that self control he once ravelled in. Yet in spite of that; he was at fault.
There wasn't a world that Nate would live in, where he wouldn't hold himself accountable for his own actions. While he had influences and demons on his shoulders weighing him down into the ground, it was still him. Every single action, everything he said, everything he did, it was him. He never claimed to be perfect, though at times maybe he wished that he was, then perhaps he wouldn't be alone in his car crying. It was the only place that he did allow his emotions to get the better of him, after all, you wouldn't catch the son of Harold Donovan being as raw as he was around people that actually cared. Nathaniel wasn't brought up to express, he was brought up to achieve and what did he have behind him? A failed relationship, seemingly rocky relationships all round, and no doubt a daughter that thought he let her down. The kicker of it all that despite all of that? He wanted it to stop, he wanted to forget. He craved a high so euphoric that he'd feel better.
It was selfish - a feeling he felt quite strong on, the way his mind was so set on destroying everything around him and the fact that he was letting it. He was following suit because he couldn't pick himself back up. Despite not being able to do anything, he was leaving his sister behind when Landon had been taken. Targeted. That wasn't Nate. The Nate currently parking up outside a motel? Wasn't him. It was a stranger in his own body; he wasn't thinking. Not that that made it any better, it didn't, it wasn't an excuse and nor would he ever use it as one. Actions held consequences and Nate was always one to hold himself accountable. He wasn't turning his back on those, he was delaying them. He texts his sister; Logan, as it's only now as he's letting himself fall back onto the motel bed, that he remembers about his cats, it has him groaning and in turn messaging her because he knew she'd look after them.
day 2. (tw: blood, drug insinuation.)
Hearing from Lydia only had Nate lingering in limbo; his heart practically could have not sunk any further than it already had. He didn't want to turn his back on his sister, not when Landon was missing, but you couldn't schedule a breakdown, could you? He couldn't put a pin in it and save it for later, it didn't work like that. Its' why he had left Tonopah completely, wanting his own space, as well as not wanting to make the entire situation worse for everyone around him. Or make it about him. Lydia wanted him to support her, Nate wanted to support her, though how was that possible when he didn't even have strength behind him to do so? It felt selfish, he felt selfish and he hated it. He couldn't physically explain how he couldn't do anything about it, he wanted to, he just couldn't.
It's a feeling that just sparked frustration and he's continuously trying to wash his face in the bathroom of the motel, it's repetitive and constant, it's like he's hoping that splash from the cold water would somehow wake him the fuck up. It's what needed to happen and the more he willed it, the more his annoyance just spiralled into anger. A feeling that unleashes the moment he takes a glance at his reflection staring back at him, his fist practically colliding with the mirror seconds after and it's an action that doesn't stop, again it's repetitive. His movements only stop when his vision moved from that sea of red, only to see blood covering the surface he had tried to punch through, it's dripping from his hand due to the way the glass had pierced through and cut his skin. He outstretched his hand only to instantly regret doing so, the pain only becoming more noticeable the moment he looked at his hand.
There was apart of him that couldn't be bothered to wash it, to tend to his self-inflicted wounds and it's like he had to force himself to start running the water. Now putting his hand in the running stream it's done so he can try and see the glass - attempt to remove the obvious bits - all while foolishly doing so, considering the seeping wound didn't stop. Eventually he reached for a small towel, wrapping it around his knuckles with an idiotic view point of that'll do.
Moving himself out of his motel room his feet are wandering more aimlessly, it's in search of something better than his poor attempt of a band aid - in Nate's perfect world right now? He'd have wished for a quick pick me up, something to completely numb the constant throbbing sensation coming from his right hand. So despite the fact that he was practically trying to mentally scramble his way out of hell, he found his wish answered in the form of his help. A woman by the name of Hailey had wrapped a bandage around his hand, someone who was also overly keen on talking when Nate had barely spoken two words since poorly explaining what he had done. Apparently tripping into the bathroom mirror had pulled a cheap laugh from the stranger. Though unfortunately the only sentence that had Nate even remotely interested and it showed, consisted of six little words:
"I've got something that can help."
It was music to his ears and it was sad. The way his dependency for any form of substance was overweighing his need for common sense. It's the fact that he had literally days ago put distance between himself and Alara, only to enter the bedroom of another woman's for a little plastic bag. It was cheap and only kicked him further into the ground, but nothing ever came for free and he's almost convinced himself that it was fine. Why? Because he needed a hit.
day 3. (tw: drugs, grief - mentions Cassie Donovan's death.)
Sitting in the middle of the room his legs are crossed and underneath the coffee table he was in front of - almost like he was sat up at an actual table. Before him? A line of cocaine and Nate was just fixated on it. Despite how silent his room was, how you'd practically be able to hear a pin drop, the noise inside of his head was loud. It's screaming. It's ten fold the worst pending migraine. It was this moment that would be described as his darkest hour, sure, he may have faced multiple over his lifetime, yet right here? It was sink or swim for the Donovan. He either gave in or he'd pull himself up. There was no other option. It was as black and white as it could be, he needed to latch onto a good thing and fight for it.
The only problem for him was that his mind was telling him he'd be better, he'd feel better if he did it just once. The thought was seeping through his skin, it's like he was trying to convince himself that this was the better option. Why be sad when he could feel happy? It was easy. His mind thought back to Alara and everything she said to him, everything he agreed with, apart from him wanting to choose pills and drink over everything that was important. That wasn't the case, at least not for Nate, his struggles were not a choice he made at a snap of a finger. He was always here, with a very clear need to pull himself back. It's why he wasn't acting on impulse, because there was still apart of him left. Since his sister, Cassie, had died he had lost every single battle with his mind, but perhaps it was now time for him to win the war.
The moment his thoughts land onto Cassie there's a crack in his otherwise expressionless features, his brows furrowed together softly as he remembered her. There's a wonder if she faced this same situation before she died, whether she span in exactly the same way he had. That feeling of hopelessness, that feeling of not belonging to his own skin? In this moment he felt he finally understood her need for peace, there was only so much fighting you could do with your own mind before you gave up, and he got that. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily, he could practically feel his heart sinking in a way it hadn't before and that was all down to his grief. He lost his sister and he went onto autopilot for months. Now? Now that switch had just been flicked off and he was letting himself feel. Nate had finally given himself that freedom to just be and as quick as the tears filled his eyes, they fell, streaming down his face so furiously it was a battle of which could splash across his hands the quickest.
The only image he had filling his head was that of his sister in the process of him identifying her, one he hadn't spoken about since, one he hadn't mentioned because there was no point. Yet actually? There was every point. His most prominent memory of her was stone cold and laying on a mortuary table. That wasn't ever going to change. Nate had never been phased by death, but that painted picture being his sister's? Harrowing. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands he's trying to stop himself from completely soaking his face altogether, he faintly shook his head, and he finally breaks the silence of his created atmosphere with a, "C'mon..." it's a low groan, it's quiet and pleading, he's trying to stop himself as if spoken words with do that.
After a while of time that seemed in relation to forever, Nate finally pushed the coffee table away from him, giving him that chance to stand up from the floor. Starting to pace back and forth he only broke that cycle by sitting down on the edge of the bed, with his head in his hands his eyes are closed, he's focusing on his breathing with an undying need for the pain in his head to stop. It's knowing there's something itching in the back of his mind to still make the wrong decision. He begins to think of everyone he was letting down, everyone he had turned his back on and it's only when Mia comes to the forefront of his mind that he seems to just stop. Did she deserve this? Did she deserve a father to not only enter her life unexpectedly, but to also be pulled away in the same way? No. He managed to shift his focus of thinking, landing firmly on his daughter and it's like he gets an ounce of strength to pick just the tiniest part of him up. He grabbed his bag that he never really unpacked, it's a surge of adrenaline, opening the door to his motel room with no thought behind his actions - other than to create enough distance between himself and the line from the devil laid out on the table.
day 4.
Out of all the places he could have gone he found himself unknowingly sitting in the middle of a private 60th birthday celebration, banners he had dismissed on the outside of the bar, as well as the decorations on the inside. He had tunnel vision in some ways, as well as a lack of ability to just register things around him. This was also a pivotal moment for Nate, one that while he wouldn't see it as, it was fate literally dangling another olive branch for him to take. It was only how he responded to it, that would determine how he progressed. After all, you met your fate on the road you took to avoid it.
Nate sat up at the end of the bar, glass of whiskey untouched before him and so deeply lost in his thoughts that he doesn't even notice the stranger approaching him. It's only when they talk that he turns to look.
"You good there?" a question that left the lips of a man that looked like if he wanted to, he could pick Nate up and throw him through the nearest window. Broad shoulders. He was in his fifties - or maybe the years hadn't been so kind. Barely six foot. Yet his confidence with the way he carried himself was blinding.
"Yeah." it's a short response as Nate looks towards the stranger, with a clear wonder of what he wanted.
"Been staring at that glass for the last hour." the man responded, quite matter of factly, knowing that he had watched Nate from the moment he had stepped into the bar. Almost as if he was watching a ghost of his own former life.
Nate doesn't say anything in response, he just continues to look at the guy before turning his attention away.
"What’re you looking for at the bottom of it? Easy life?" it's an assumption, it's also a light prod at the stranger he doesn't know, wanting to see if he could get him to bite, because if so, maybe he was judging this entire situation in the wrong light.
His question, however, has Nate looking towards him again. Still silent. Yet whatever the stranger was trying to do, he'd done it.
"Name's Charlie; friends call me Charles, wife calls me Lee just to be original." it's an introduction because he's able to read what was happening; he also wants to break that stoic look the Nate's face.
Exactly as Charlie wanted, Nate appeared to do. He cracked smile, suppressing a depressed chuckle with how random this entire interaction was. "Nate."
"Short for anything?" Charlie hit back instantly.
"Nathaniel." he answered easily, despite having no clue as to what was going on. It was almost like he was beginning to wonder if he was in some kind of fucked up dream.
“Ah… Emma!” he shouts behind him, prompting a woman in the background to respond with a yes dear. “Nathaniel?” a question that had a gods gift as an answer to shortly after. “Nothing quite like a gift of god staring at man made creation, ay…. Wife,” he gestured over towards her, “got this weird fascination with names… she’s an author. She always used to tell me it’s a choice,” he gestures with his index to the glass in front of Nate, “You take the drink, the drink takes a drink, then the drink finally takes you… Fitzgerald.” He added with a slight shrug. “She’s either a good influence or I’ve just learned to listen after thirty years of her telling me I’m deaf.”
Nate offered the guy another smile - it's an attempt, at least - yet the way his brows crease together momentarily was a tell of his confusion. He sighed, pushing the glass away from him that he hadn't even picked up, let alone touched.
“I’ve been where you are,” an offer of an explanation from Charlie, as if the guy sitting defeated up at the bar was a familiar sight, “Listen…” he begins to pull a small card from his wallet, asking for the bartender to lend him a pen he soon quickly scribbles on the back of it before putting it down on the bartop for Nate to see. “You show up, you’ve got a stranger that’ll listen. You don’t?” He shrugged, as if to silently say that was your choice.
Reaching for the card Nate picks it up, eyes scanning the text written across it, “This your version of a pickup?" it's a joke and that's not quite relayed in the way he wanted, it's more unintentionally judgemental, so instead he chose to follow on with, "That obvious?”
“Yeah.” It's short and sweet, it's enough for Charlie to get his point across to the guy he had just left a hinter with as to where he thought he should go, having written details of the next AA meeting he was attending personally. "Should get that sorted." he pointed towards Nate's hand, paying focus to it for the first time and the way the bandage looked wet before he walked away.
day 5. (tw: drug & death mentions)
He should have gone home. That much was obvious to Nate, and yet where was he sat? In the middle of a meeting a stranger had suggested he be at. It’s one he doesn’t partake in; it’s one he listens in. His jacket is off and on the back of his chair, sitting in a short sleeved T-shirt whilst everyone else had sweaters on around him. His arms are crossed and he’s staring at a fixed point - the leg of another’s chair across from him - trying to keep himself mostly normal as he can feel the sweat practically beading across his forehead. This entire set up? It wasn't for him. It wasn't that he was too good to talk about his own problems; it just wasn't the environment he wanted to do it in. He got it though, he got how it could help, and being around the number of people he was? Despite his quite obvious need to isolate himself, it was a distraction from the way his body itched for every substance he was resisting.
He had flushed every prescribed pill he had on him - not that they were even his to start with, he was doing his most to avoid even a drop of alcohol, he was trying to do the opposite of what his body was telling him to do. It wanted the easy way out, it was more of a need now than a craving, his body wanted to calm every nerve, he just wanted to relax and let himself give in. The only reason why he was here and not making his way back to Tonopah, was because his regret of leaving his sister whilst Landon was missing, had been surpassed by his regret of not doing a line in his motel room. It was alarming and it was a problem.
Nate wasn't sure what he was searching for, he just knew now that if he didn't leave when he did, there'd have been no decision for him to push against. He'd have shot up, he'd have taken the pills, and the drink. He had flickered back and forth for months when it came to stopping and each time he tried, he found a drink in his hand because it was easier to numb the withdrawal than it was to break through it. He was trying to do better despite singlehandedly managing to completely fuck everything up around him. It was sheer talent, at this point. A talent that was just being utterly squashed by guilt.
It's not just his sister, it's the MC - Cole - it's the one solid force he should have turned to, but he hadn't. There was so much shit going on that he thought handling it himself? Was the right way. Yet maybe if he had spoke up months and months ago, he wouldn't be where he was now. Hindsight was a funny thing, wasn't it? Instead his entire body ached, he felt anxious, and his right hand just seemed to feel like it was pulsating as every second went by. He had changed the bandage, though it was minimal care whilst he did as in Nate's mind? He was choosing to focus on that pain, rather than the drowning need to take him to a place of no return. His way of thinking was fucked up, yet right now that's because he was.
Nate had been so lost inside his own thoughts that his reactions were delayed once people started getting up and moving away around him, only really coming back to reality once he heard a familiar voice speaking towards him, "You good?"
Now looking at Charlie, Nate nods faintly as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his left hand.
"Got anyone at home?" Charlie asked, sitting down a couple of seats away from Nate.
Nate nods again, “Too many... and here I am.” there's a hint of sarcastic frustration in his tone, one that was swimming in defeat.
“It happens.” Charlie says as if it was normal.
“It does? Seems fucking shitty.” Nate tossed back; feeling that it was.
“Beginning to be a friend to yourself is far from shitty.” Charlie countered, apparently having an answer for everything.
Nate soon drags a hand down his face with a sigh, “Just the wrong time to be trying.”
With that response of honesty he received, Charlie saw that very short greenlight to question further, “When’s the right time?”
“When my nephews not missing.” It's a simple answer from Nate, knowing with his entire being where he should be.
With that silence fell between the two for longer than it was needed, though it's in that silence that Charlie sees an advantage to take, and so finally, “I lost my son when he was twenty three, missed his funeral because I was out like a light and having my stomach pumped." he held up a brief hand, as if to say don't to any sorry's. "What I’m trying to say is that it’s what you do now that matter’s, you think you’ve fucked up? Only you can change that. For yourself, your family. Sure you don’t need me to tell you that.”
Nate’s lightly nods, agreeing with the other. Now pulling his attention away from the older guy, because it's this conversation - no matter how short - that was beginning to make him feel more human.
“You sleeping?” Charlie brought Nate's attention back.
“No, flushed the help.” he admits, knowing that it was probably part of the reason why he hadn't gotten up yet, getting up meant putting himself back into that isolation bubble he had created.
“Need a place to crash?” it's a question that seemed to just read his thoughts and it has Nate looking back over to the guy, shaking his head.
“Coffee, then?” It's like Charlie was subtly pushing, clearly being able to recognise where Nate was, not just physically but mentally too.
“Why?” Why was he trying; why hadn't he given up. Nate wasn't necessarily irritated by it, he just felt confused and it's a feeling that instantly disappeared when all he heard in response was: It’s free to lend somebody a hand.
day 6 & 7. (i'm lazy let me live)
If you'd have told Nate a week ago he'd have been sat for the second day in a row, opposite a stranger - or maybe they were acquaintances now - talking, he'd have told you that you were full of shit. Yet here he was, feeling freer as he felt no expectations, and no it didn't help the way he was weighted down by his own pressures, but what it did do was make him feel slightly lighter. It had almost slotted him into just touching that better frame of mind. Charlie had done exactly what he had wanted to do; pull a stranger out of a dark place so deeply rooted by self-isolation that they'd see just a shimmer of light. It was what was needed, a dropping of hope because without it what was there?
Nate felt immense appreciation for the man because he knew if his week had gone a little differently, so would he. He had also smiled for the first time and it felt genuine, it's a smile that was born from talking about his daughter, only to die out as quick as it appeared with the way he knew he had gone completely silent on her. It's each of these little realisations that had him suddenly really waking up to what he was doing, and it's only something that had him feel more frustrated. It's emotions he doesn't quite know what to do with. It's also him not knowing how to approach everyone he had turned his back to. It wasn't intentional, it had never been intentional and still, he had done it. Nobody else. He couldn't change that - as Charlie had offered: he could only correct it by showing up.
Nate had spent the majority of his time after with his head being held up by his hands, it's him not bothering to keep to appearances, it's him needing to think, and knowing he wasn't facing judgement. He didn't actually feel like he knew where he stood with anybody, knowing that everyone he had tried and succeeded to just put distance between, he prioritized. It was shitty timing, fuck, it was shitty timing. Even though he still had so far to go, his most prominent feeling was remorse and this time he wasn't lost in it.
Despite still not being able to explain why he literally just recoiled so far back he pushed himself off of that cliff edge, he at least felt partly sane now, he felt it enough to know that actually? His thoughts of knowing exactly where he needed to be, were ones he was acting on. It's enough to allow him to feel a difference in himself, it was only slight, it wasn't even anything to jump around and cheer about, yet it was there and he felt better for it. Nate didn't feel like he was watching somebody else in his own body anymore, which by all accounts was exactly where he needed to be, and he was accepting the harsh reality of what he felt he had done.
So as he finally, finally, got back into his car it was like he was gaining that sense of direction back, managing to reach and grab that last fragment of willpower he thought had disappeared.
“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Gandhi
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pclyglct · 3 months
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[ jenny boyd | she/her ] Another face is seeking safety in New Orleans. Make sure to welcome ELIZABETH “LIZZIE” SALTZMAN to the home of the resilient. Rumor has it that they are an 19/21 year old HERETIC, who is one of the SACRIFICED but we’ll keep that a secret. They are said to be VOLATILE, but that’s all a façade to cover up their STRONG WILLED nature. We’ve heard that they can be found listening to BRUTAL by OLIVIA RODRIGO, which sums them up pretty well. Let’s hope that they can find a way to survive this harsh new world.
hello! I'm S, and I'm happy to be here! a lil disclaimer first: I've watched all of Legacies, but I'm on s2 of TO (slooow progress), and s5 of TVD (no intention to finish), so wiki will be my source for kai/gemini/etc specifics not discussed in legacies!
name: elizabeth "lizzie" saltzman
age: turned at 19, currently 21
gender: cis woman (she/her)
hometown: mystic falls
current residence: new orleans
species: heretic (vampire/siphoner hybrid)
sexuality: bisexual (w/a preference for men)
positives: authentic, passionate, daring, strong willed, empathetic
negatives: selfish, volatile, impulsive, insecure, envious
house: slytherin
alignment: chaotic good
post-canon
lizzie's canon life is pretty much the same, and can be found here!
come the end of legacies, lizzie remained with the salvatore school, helping her mother and her friends rebuild and welcome the new class
in the year following, as the OEA rose in prominence and threatened the school, lizzie still committed to the school's cause regardless, keen on not running away over a hopefully insignificant threat
unfortunately for her, the threat wasn't insignificant, and her dedication to the cause is what led to her sacrifice
she took a solo recruiting mission to visit a supposed troubled young witch in need of safe haven. it was supposed to be a low stakes endeavor, not even worthy of a proper day trip. in reality, the "troubled young witch" was working for the OEA, and what was meant to be a good Samaritan mission led to lizzie being captured, sacrificed, and trapped in the prison world
she was in there for 3 years, absolutely livid at the turn of events. the karma of the situation (or lack thereof because she was trying to be good and not run away and deal with things head on and take initiative and spread warmth and community and all that kumbaya nonsense) has led to some setbacks in her own personal growth, ngl, but she's working on that since her return
also worth noting that her time away has left her feeling just awful in general. prior to her sacrifice, she was just starting to embark on a journey of figuring out a future for her self, now that she was finally in a position of having one with the merge out of the question. but then the OEA became a thing causing trouble, and she was thrown into a prison world just as things started seriously changing in the real world. being trapped for so long stifled her and her growth, and she's come back to a world different than the one she left, all the people she's loved moved onto various different stages in their lives over the 3 years, and she hates that.
anyways, she's only just recently finally made her way to new orleans after her release, and she's got a lot of resentment at the OEA for her imprisonment, while also dealing with a lot of self-esteem issues stemming from a profound sense of aimlessness. she's doing her best to reorient herself to this new reality
relationships.
parents: alaric saltzman (daddy issues), jo laughlin (bio mom), caroline forbes (mamma's girl)
siblings: josie saltzman (twin sister)
extended family: elena gilbert & damon salvatore (aunt & uncle), stefan salvatore (ex-step dad? / uncle), bonnie bennet (aunt)
past romantic relationships: rafael waithe (ex-fling), sebastian (ex-boyfriend), ethan (crush/dated), jen (ex-fling), mg (ex-boyfriend).
more dynamics: hope mikaelson (ex-sire bond/frenemies), landon kirby (hobbit), penelope park (frenemy), auora (unlikely ally), kaleb/jed/cleo/wade (super squad)
wanted.
trapped together: lizzie spent 3 years in a prison world, she was bound to make all kinds of relationships with the people she was trapped with, and I want them all. friends in the prison world, roommates/neighbors, hookups, relationships, enemies, unlikely friends (!!!), people she worked with during her many (failed) attempts to escape, etc. and all of the above!
vampire mentor. the s2 stefan to her caroline. ideally, this is someone who was in the prison world with her. I imagine that in the year after legacies but before lizzie got trapped, she had started making decent headway into her vampirism with mg, but after getting trapped, I can def see her making it her mission to get through honing her skills totally, if only to help her get through the endless sameness of the days
baby vamps. similar to the above, except instead of a mentor, this was someone who was new to the vampire world with her, and they explored the ins and outs of vampirism together. also ideally in the prison world, likely to be a WC.
crush (m): lizzie is prone to superficial crushes, pure eye candy. it's a great distraction for her, something to pour her energy into easily, and easy is exactly what's she's looking for after being gone for so long. if anything real actually comes from it is something we can plot, but for now, this would just be someone easy on the eyes
crush (f): I hc that lizzie realized she was bi after spending time with the god Jen in s4. since this realization, she's leaned pretty hard into the exploring that part of herself loud and proud and open about it (likely to overcompensate for how out of her field/new being with women is for her), so she probs also has a fem crush too. she's likely to resemble more of her s1 rafael-era flirtation (re: awkward & rambly) with women than her smoother s3/4 semi-confidence.
fwb/fuck buddy: lizzie has got a lot of pent up frustration over her years away, and this person helps her release that. could be friendly arrangement between two peers, or just a fuck buddy who is only contacted when she's got an itch to scratch. this person, regardless of the their relationship to her, likely also is prone to hear lizzie vent her frustrations before/after (and possibly even during) sex because bb's a talker!
living situation. I imagine since her return and coming to new orleans, she's probably living with a family member (her mom most likely, maybe her sister), which is fine, but she'll eventually want to move out into her own space (she was on an independence journey away from her normal familial crutches before being trapped, after all), so potential roommates and neighbors would be fun plots.
friends. and of course, all the friends! lizzie is an extrovert who has a very hard time being alone, so she of course likes to build a community of people she can go to for all the things. shopping friends. foodie friends. gossip friends. unlikely friends. confidants. OEA revenge buddies. accountability buddies.
frenemies. and with friends, comes enemies, which lizzie is prone to making.
everything above are just suggestions off the top of my head; I'm rlly open to any and all plots for my girl lizzie! if you'd like to plot, you can reach out to me here or on discord (blodxreina)!
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lizzybeth1986 · 3 months
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The Therons and the Ebrims in TRR3
I won't include the Amaranths in this because theirs is clearly an embarrassingly personal family squabble. But Portavira and Castelserraillan show two types of political views - one that focuses on the local province, and another that aims at creating a legacy for the country through art and diplomacy.
Both have their merits, but in a story that is supposed to highlight national pride and spirit, you would expect there to either be equal respect for both, or a bit more for the second.
Portavira
Landon's focus is his daughter, and if Penelope doesn't feel comforted by you he has real doubts about supporting you. But he can be swayed if you win the match.
Emmeline's focus is definitely on the match. If you don't win it, she says this:
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Later:
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Two things of note in the failplay of this scene:
1. The narrative views the failure of the match as a failure on the MC's part. Emmeline can openly state that she thinks the MC isn't taking Portavira seriously on the basis of one match, and the MC is more pleading and contrite in this context.
2. Take note of the dialogue choices after Landon and Emmeline decline. The MC is still respectful, not criticizing their choices. Similarly for Penelope. The MC has the same two options, and both of them have the baseline of respecting where she comes from.
The narrative also specifically wants us to like Landon and Emmeline, as is obvious from the way Drake and the MC speak of them:
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In reality there's not a lot that gives this impression except for this one match to raise funds. Tbh the same could have been said of Liam's government's move to raise funding for Portavira through the fashion show...but this fandom isn't exactly going to be convinced by that when it's from Liam, lmao.
Castelserraillan
Kiara and Hakim agree to join the tour by default. Kiara, because you spend exactly one minute either insulting her or manipulating her, and Hakim because he appreciates that you wanted to save his exhibition, regardless of whether you did a good job or not.
Drake, when he enters, makes fun of the Theron house right away, making a quip about how he "expected more flags".
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Still, Hakim not only shows him massive respect, it's also clear that he remembers Drake's father:
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In comparison, Landon and Emmeline hardly engage with Drake except to express bewilderment when he stumbles. I hardly see Drake making any fulsome compliments about Hakim, and it's clear he is neither classist nor his aims superficial.
Hakim is written as more grateful to the MC than he needs to be once the festival is over, just for his inclusion into the tour to be default. It doesn't even matter whether or not Cordonia will enter the International Art Association. In fact he and Kiara are the only nobility that feature in the wedding by default without extra conditions.
Ezekiel can decline, but I'm not surprised considering he was written more for Penelope than for his family. Joelle's case...is interesting.
Joelle firmly believes that art and culture are important to building the morale of a country, and are markers of a country's prosperity and progress:
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Now, this is a pretty valid point. It speaks to wanting the country not only to be safe and protected, but also thriving culturally and creatively. There really isn't much to mock in this viewpoint (well, unless you're Olivia Nevrakis:
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Tbh it feels like there is more respect for this mindset than Joelle's, Liam's, Hana's or Kiara's).
Joelle can, of course, reject the offer, just like Emmeline and Landon did:
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Unlike Landon and Emmeline, the MC's choices to respond to this are very different:
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You do not see any equivalent to that final option for Landon and Emmeline, if they decline. The MC doesn't get to criticize their laser-focus on their duchy alone, nor is she allowed to badmouth any one spouse to the other, as she can here (she is allowed to call Joelle a "handful" to her loving husband's face). The narrative also doesn't mind making her sound slightly ridiculous, with her "there's nothing more important than art".
The narrative will employ the same tactics in TRH3 - writing Joelle so badly in her appearance during the Flower Festival that the depiction borders on caricature, and having the Ebrims call the Therons "traditionalists" even though there is very little indication of that in the books.
Even Kiara, when she hears of Joelle's choice to leave for Switzerland, is made to sound like she'd made a bad choice:
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I only expand on this because I don't exactly want to crowd the essay more than I already have 😅
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lordkingsmith · 4 months
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Rocky DeSantos canon and oc children
I love Rocky. Utter sweetie. He’s a good boy and deserved the world!! Rocky’s also a bit silly and adorable. He deserves more though lol. He doesn't really ever get a good way to shine, and I hate that. He was more than a joke in his early episodes. the fact he keeps getting treated like a joke now is sad. I do like the fire fighter idea for him, it fits, but...still...you can do that and him being the class clown and it still being done as more than a punchline (Hi, Carter, I'm getting to you) If I’ve missed anyone let me know and I’ll add :)
Canon children:
None that we know of
My oc and alternate reality kids:
Aisha Campbell;
Rocky and Aisha fit well. She gets his humor, he knows how to match her energy and keep her from burning the wick at two ends. So when they got together nobody was remotely surprised. They have two kids, one naturally and one adopted. Landon, aged 12, and Saffie, aged 14.
Landon's been with Rocky and Aisha since he was three, and he's been really happy with them for as long as he can remember. He's a bit of a bookworm, but mostly prefers nonfiction. If he has to read fiction, it's nothing sci fi related. It bothers him too much when they get simple things you can look up wrong. Like what Tenga Warriors look like, or what space ships need for fuel. Or planets earth trades with. He likes spicy food, and birds. He probably knows more about bird related aliens than the average human. Doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up, but he does know he wants a parrot. His parents are trying to convince him to choose a bird with a shorter lifespan. He and his sister have a very kind spirited joking relationship. They don't feel like they aren't actual siblings, and he's as protective of her as he likes being a mild pest to her now and then, and she him. Not associated with a color.
Saffie was a surprise baby. Aisha and Rocky had been trying for a kid for a while at this point, and nobody was sure why it just wasn't happening. When they applied for adoption, Saffie was conceived. They still went through with the adoption, and are glad they did, and Saffie is too. She loves Landon a lot, and they have a fairly healthy sibling relationship. Saffie's not exactly a social butterfly, but she's by no means a wallflower either. She keeps to herself, and likes skateboarding and parkour and rock music. Being able to brag about the fact she knows the Skullovitchs personally and she sometimes gets babysat by Eugene Skullovitch's son? Oh it's amazing. Cheeky, high energy, and knows what she wants in life. She's dancing to the beat of her own drum, and is quite happy doing so. Likes reading poetry, a lot, and diy'ing her own clothes (she is not allowed near bleach dye for her jeans after an incident of not screwing the lid on tightly enough and leaving it on the living room floor. Fabric paint is still okay, though). Rocky and Aisha are a little confused by some of her interests, but then she turns around and is so much like both of them they have to laugh. Saffie's just Saffie. Not associated with a color.
Adam Park;
They make too much sense for anything else, they were best friends since the beginning. They have three kids. They adopted a kid who lost their home in a fire brought on by a monster. Peter's eleven and scared of the world. Adam and Rocky fully understand, but hope he can open up. They care for him and are worried about him. Peter DeSantos doesn't know how to feel about power rangers as parents after what happened, but he's glad Adam and Rocky are stable and they do try. It's just hard to open up. They have time, though, and that's what matters. Adam's been helping with his anxiety by showing him how to sew. Whenever he gets scared and his dads aren't there, he sews little projects. It helps and he's proud of what he makes. Not associated with a color.
tangential au; Rocky and Aisha and Adam are together with all above mentioned kids, and Adam and Aisha's kids. They live on a large ranch and the kids are thriving.
Jason Lee Scott;
Rocky said he thought Jason was cool and wished he could have gotten to know him better so was happy to be on the Zeo team with him. Here, this was meant fully romantically. It took Jason three months to Get It, and when Rocky was no longer blue and the rest of them became turbo rangers. When he was out of the hospital and Jason was mentally recovered from his ordeal at the hands of Divatox, they talked about everything. Slowly and awkwardly. How much Rocky admired Jason, how much he wished they could have been closer friends before Jason left, and Jason congratulating Rocky on being a good red ranger, and a great blue. His Blue.
They’re still active Zeo Rangers, though Jason slid back into red when Tommy got strong armed into retiring by his wife. Eventually, he’s going to give the legacy his youngest daughter, who in turn gives it to Tommy’s grandson, but for now… he and Rocky have it handled.
They have three kids and run a wrestling gym dojo combination. Victoria “V” DeSantos, aged 17, and Bess, aged 13. Kim offered to be the surrogate, as Aisha and Kat and Trini were busy with their own lives and had declined, and Kim was happy to help both times. Plus, Jason wanted the girls to not be bullied over being half siblings. Not that it matters. Nobody bullies the DeSantos sisters.
V isn’t a ranger, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t kicked seven kinds of ass of anything that makes the mistake that just because she looks effeminate must mean she’s not one of the toughest kids and town and took her kickboxing team at school to nationals twice in a row (three times if she can manage; she’s training hard for it). Not the sharpest tool in the box, but she gets there in the end. She’s got a heart of gold and a competitive streak a mile wide. She’s enthusiastic, cheeky, bur don’t get on her bad side. She might have a slow temper, this doesn’t make her a pushover. Can be intimidating with a smile. Don’t screw with her family. Especially on the holidays, halloween, Christmas and valentines especially. That is family time and she will cause demons hospitalization. Thanksgiving’s fine though. But they have to bring a side dish and stay for dinner. This has made things interesting. She can be self centered and details focused, but she tries to think about others. While her dads are in charge, V is the benevolent queen bee of the house and keeps everything in line. Terrible with time and directions though, but that’s what her sister’s for. Not associated with a color.
Bess is less like Rocky, but she’s got all of Kim’s best qualities. Kind, compassionate, empathetic. She though, like Jason, tends to internalize and stew. Her goal is to beat all of Jason’s records he set in his teens. She doesn’t want to be the best, she just wants to prove to him she’s capable. And maybe a little bit want to be able to brag she’s better than her old man, but just a little. A bit jealous of her older sister. V has a long shadow it’s sometimes difficult to step out from under. Often explodes when she can’t get something perfectly the first time, but once she calms down she’s usually trying again. Definitely Jason’s favorite even if he doesn’t say so. She’s very good at directions and maps, and sense of time. She’s dependable and capable. She’s going to be the best one day, she’s gonna make sure of it. Will be Red when Jason’s finally forced to retire.
Tommy Oliver;
Rocky and Tommy always had a rather amicable relationship, which lead to a very comfortable dating life. It wasn't a sparks fly insta love thing, but more like a very slow burn of embers. And after years and years of doing things and having each other's backs and being red and blue and white and red and all that this all entails...it got to the point they looked at each other and couldn't think of anyone else they'd want to be with. They have four kids; Dannica DeSantos, aged 26, Markus DeSantos, aged 24, Johanna DeSantos, aged 20, and Halen DeSantos, aged 17. Tommy and Rocky are currently taking a break (being teammates and lovers on several teams and effectively at each other's hips for decades will do that), but are doing it more to save their marriage than preparing to divorce. Halen's living with Tommy during this, as Rocky is the firefighter chief, and is only at the house three days every two weeks during fire season. Better to have a parent who can actually dedicate time to being a proper parent to the one kid that still needs it. All kids except Halen are scientifically mixed dna of Tommy and Rocky, through cashing on a favor of Billy and the Aquitans. Halen is adopted.
Dannica DeSantos is a racecar driver. She's been a speed demon since she learned how to ride a tricycle, and has been relatively unstoppable since. She has given her parents panic attacks. She's been in jail over the fact she used to do illegal drag races in her teens. Tommy had to put a stop to this by getting behind the steering wheel again and taking his own daughter on in a race. If he won, she waited till she was 18 to pursue this as a career-the legitimate way. If he lost, he'd give her the keys and say nothing. Tommy won, barely. She was pissed, but she honored her word. They had a few years of tenuous peace with warnings interspersed that yes, traffic is awful, but no you can't drive through a park to get to your job on time, Dannica, no.
Since starting her career, though, this has gone down quite a lot and she's been a lot better about being responsible off the racetrack. She refrains from using the name 'Oliver' to her advantage; she wants to do this the right way. She's insanely competitive, and has a very strong code of ethics. She doesn't cheat, she doesn't cut corners, and she's not going to start. The only way to do anything is the right way, and what does it say about everyone else who cheats who keeps losing to her, anyway? Loves her brothers and sister, but she doesn't really get along with her dads. She's the most intense parts of both of them, and while they love each other, it's better to love each other at a distance. She gets the fact they're currently separated; you just gotta take a break sometimes. Not associated with a color, and as she'd willingly drive a car into someone, this is perhaps a good thing.
Markus DeSantos is going to school to be a physical therapist. Probably the most easy going of the siblings, he's a lot like his dads. He's kind of wanted to do this since finding out about the accidents that wrecked Tommy and Rocky's backs for a long time (and even to a point up to now) and lead to them both finally retiring from ranger work. Tommy has to walk with a cane, and Rocky's dependent on painkillers. With excercise. Markus gets that because his dads are so vigorous with their exercise and a lot of luck they were able to skirt past anything worse, and he wants to help people get similar results where possible. So, physical therapist. He's a happy go lucky but take no shit kind of guy. He's nice about it, but nobody gets away with anything around him. And often find themselves doing what they should, under the impression it was their own idea, some hours after talking to him. He loves food, loves his siblings, though he generally gets along with Rocky better than Tommy. But, he manages to get Tommy to do what he's supposed to, because his dad is very much a stubborn idiot about things that are good for him. Checks in often with Halen and makes sure he's doing ok during everything. Keeps both his dads' fridges stocked. Not associated with a color, though he was offered black once. Kept this to himself, he doesn't want to deal with the inevitable "well why didn't you" if he says anything. He didn't because it'd get in the way of goals he already had, that's all. He did suggest someone else, and they're doing very very well, so there's that.
Johanna is assistant manager at the Juice Bar, and thriving. Everything is going well for her. She's got a famous sister, two famous parents, and likes cooking, coming up with new flavors to try on the blackboard, and generally being assistant manager. Does she want to go to school? Maybe. Does she know what for? Not yet, but if she ever figures it out she's willing to go. She's into competitive gaming as a side thing, but it's not her life. Her life is fairly full of other things. She lives with Markus in a rental home, and Halen whenever he needs a break from Tommy. She loves holidays and wears themed clothes every single holiday. She wears bunny ears without shame with extra fluffy skirts every easter, and she's highly embarrassing on Thanksgiving with her turky legwarmers. However, her siblings love her and wouldn't have her any other way. A good source of advice to anyone who needs it, though she tries to stay out of Markus and Dannica's way, because they both get into moods where no amount of advice no matter how gently given will ever be heeded. And she's not going to waste time on useless endeavors.
She sometimes stands in for the karate classes when her girlfriend has to skip. Johanna knows she's dating the pink ranger, and Rose knows Johanna knows. Johanna doesn't mind filling in for Rose when fights edge into class times. Rose would do the same for her if their situations were switched.Johanna isn't associated with a color herself.
Halen DeSantos was adopted when he was six. He was adopted out of foster care, and remembers his last foster care parents. They were nice, but had eight other foster kids. Halen found it no less chaotic but somehow warmer when he got adopted by Rocky and Tommy. Their kids instantly swept him into their midst as sibling, and it was easy to slide into this as well. They squabbled and stepped on each other's toes and got on each other's nerves, but there was a deep love throughout. It is tough finishing high school while Tommy and Rocky don't live together-and Tommy is his biology teacher-but he's trying to remember it's not because they hate each other, it's just gotten a little much right now, and they do still love each other. His siblings always seem to know when he's feeling really low, however, and it's nice being able to get his mind off things. Kind of wants to go into paleontology, like Tommy, or firefighting, like Rocky. He hasn't decided yet, but he knows whatever he chooses, he's going to be supported in it.
Trey of Triforia;
Rocky and Trey never did have much to do with each other, as rangers. However, here, Rocky decided he was going to make his duo a trio again. Aisha was gone, and Rocky found Trey filled the void she left pretty well. Adam took a little while to warm up to the alien, but they all became fairly close. Rocky always brought along one of the three personas to various activities, and people got to know his 'exchange student' friend fairly well over the summer, even if they did all agree Trey's personality and reactions could be wildly different from day to day.
This eventually led to Trey and Rocky getting together. They have a son, Ventus, who is blue zeo ranger. Titus has a rather rocky relationship with both parents. While sixteen and Crown Prince of Triforia, he really would rather not be. Doesn't know what he wants to do or where he wants to go, but it's not Earth and definitely not Triforia. Ventus simply feels suffocated by legacy and responsibilities. He really just wants to figure himself out, but he doesn't have the time or luxury to do so. He has a team, a leader who's often doing wildly unpredictable and dangerous stunts, a kingdom to learn how to rule, on top of general studies as a high school student in Angel Grove. Tends to internalize and lash out, and does feel bad when he does so. At the very least, he's not the gold ranger? While it couldn't be further from the truth, Ventus feels like he's disappointing both his parents. He will eventually find a middle ground between the two worlds, one that works for him, and a way to rule, that also works for him. Rocky and Trey are about ready to force this kid into a year long sabbatical with either Rocky’s family or on Aquitar. The team’s concerned too. Ventus has so much self imposed stress and frustration he’s not able to function. Trey’s also curious whether or not his Id, Ego, and Super Ego need to be separated for a bit, just to see if that helps stabilize him. Therapy for all three separately might be a good way to go about this, too.
*he's named after the character from kingdom hearts, who's heart was cut in three :) (one piece is in sora, one piece is an antagonist running around calling itself Vanitas, and the last piece is in a comatose Ventus)
an alternate tangental reality he goes nuts under the pressure and becomes a villain, fucking off and cutting complete ties with his parents and his former team.
Scorpina;
Adam and Rocky were in a mild competition over "Sabrina's" attention while Aisha was trying to rein the two in, but Adam ended up getting most of "Sabrina's" attention. Rocky was kind of glad it wasn't him when Sabrina turned out to be Scorpina. However, later, he and Scorpina did end up in something of a romance after the Z Wave. It's very off and on, and they have one daughter. Reagan takes more after her dad, and doesn't have any alien looking characteristics. Reagan is 18, and she's trying very hard to be as average seeming as possible. When she was sixteen, some version of Zedd showed up, and forced her mom to work for him once more. SInce then, Reagan's become obsessed with killing this Zedd and finding her mom again. Before this she was a photography enthusiast who was considering being a sports reporter. Since, however, she's gotten zeroed in on one goal, to the detriment of the rest of her life and her relationship with her dad.
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audiofictionuk · 6 months
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New Fiction Podcasts - 27th October
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All Our Faults New Audio RPG! In the city of Chester's Chasm, four teenagers grapple with lives divided between the mundane and the supernatural: Burt working for Death to save a friend, Crispin yearning to escape a zealous cult, Michael indulging his vampiric nature, and Saline pursued by creatures from the Fae. All Our Faults is a Monsterhearts 2 actual play podcast produced by the Tabletop Talespinners Network. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231018-01 RSS: https://feeds.transistor.fm/all-our-faults
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101.7 OUROBOROS New Audio Drama! Welcome to the town of Ouroboros, Michigan! In this quaint town next to an infinite lake and surrounded by an infinite forest, stop by the shopping center, sit by the fountain in the town square, DON’T go in the water reservoirs, and try your best to stay away from the lake towards the end of the month. Kayla “Kay” Gray, local news reporter, photographer, and wannabe circus runaway is here to report on all the goings-on in this town… and hopefully not get too caught up in them. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230611-03 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/e37b76e8/podcast/rss
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Metastories New Audio Book! Metastories is a drama audio series made up of stories which includes Greek mythology, history, Shakespearean tragedies, and a bit of philosophy. You will witness how the characters will blame each other for being responsible for the downfall of mankind. The strong could become the weak, the right could become the wrong, and the innocent could turn into the greatest villain… Nevertheless, in a way, this show will still be about our disappointments, our tragedies, and some of the darkest consequences of our greatest achievements. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230917-03 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/metastories/feed.xml
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FORBIDDEN CASSETTES: CONSUMMATION New Audio Drama! Join Dov Kandel, host of the hit late-night talk radio program, KANDEL AGAINST THE DARK, as he interviews author Orson Libretti about his latest book, CONSUMMATION — an apocalyptic tale that seems too terrifying to believe. But here’s the thing: Orson swears it’s all true. And he’s brought the tapes to prove it. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231018-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/forbiddenpod/feed.xml
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Court of the Grandchildren New Audio Drama! Three years after the Great Ice Sheet Collapse, an ailing politician must defend his climate legacy before his long-lost niece will grant him his final request. Now they both must fight against an AI-dominated world to find redemption. A ‘found-audio’ drama in four episodes. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231016-08 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/courtofthegrandchildren/feed.xml
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Starlight Outerworlds New Audio RPG! Welcome to Starlight Outerworlds, a collaborative storytelling experience using the sci-fi role playing system Starlight. Join Elta the Ace, Landon the Hunter and C@-nrd the Construct aboard the starship Meadowlark as they traverse the margins of civilized space in search of freedom, answers, and what it means to be alive at the margins of civilized space. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231019-01 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/starlightouterworlds/feed.xml
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The Nightmare Collective New Audio Book! Dive into the abyss of the human psyche and beyond with "The Nightmare Collective," a podcast that weaves tales of horror, science fiction, and fantasy into a tapestry of dark wonder. Are you ready to venture into uncharted realms where the eerie and the extraordinary collide? Our tales will transport you to places where reality blurs, nightmares are born, and the impossible becomes all too real. From haunted houses to distant galaxies, from ancient curses to futuristic dystopias, "The Nightmare Collective" explores the darkest corners of human existence and the boundless possibilities of the unknown. But beware, dear listener, for once you enter, there's no turning back. Welcome to your new nightmares. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231017-08 RSS: https://audioboom.com/channels/5116352.rss
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Second Story Work The Novel New Audio Book! Josh Cybulski’s debut novel explores a generation who were told they could do anything. Some did, and without a doubt still are, and some became disillusioned at the first signs of adversity. Meet Sarge, Messy, Hecky and R-Luv, four media school grads who head towards the booming film industry in Vancouver. Art is a distant memory as they pursue North Hollywood lights and their spoils of sex, drugs, and, let’s face it, more drugs. But, good luck turns bad in Second Story Work as these young men scramble to sustain whetted appetites that they could never satisfy. Cybulski’s gritty tale is one of crime, betrayal, and moral apathy, where the difference between friend and foe is blurred line after line. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231018-03 RSS: https://feeds.transistor.fm/second-story-work-the-novel
OFF AIR New Audio Book! Step into the clandestine world of 'Off Air' and let your imagination roam free. In this enigmatic audio series, secrets lurk in the shadows, and tales of defiance echo through the airwaves. Uncover the mysteries of a neon-lit dystopia where the boundaries between reality and rebellion blur, as we guide you through a realm of intrigue and unfiltered truth. Are you ready to embark on a journey that will leave you questioning the very fabric of this cyberpunk world?" https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231018-04 RSS: https://media.rss.com/off-air/feed.xml
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God Knows Podcast: Live from Valhalla New Audio Drama! Thor, the legendary god of old, is a little vexed with ”Head Office’s” rehousing scheme. His tier-four divinity lodgings - a dilapidated terrace in the North of England - now hosts the once mighty Valhalla within an attic conversion. He’s also been lumbered with a motley crew of divine D listers: Dionysus, the alcoholic god of wine and party time; Cupid, the snack-addicted god of love and poor bodily hygiene; Amon, an oily demon with a passion for musical theatre. They’re not 100% sure of what a podcast is, but the guys live in hope that it’ll raise their profiles and help reclaim some of their former glory. And with heavenly guests popping in each episode, god knows, they might yet do it! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231018-05 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/godknowspodcast/feed.xml
Carcosa Radio New Audio Drama! A audio series focused of the mysterious happenings and horrors of Etapas, Join along as you hear from a enigmatic radio host sharing the stories of this city, dragging you further and further into Understanding and Fright. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231012-05 RSS: https://media.rss.com/carcosa-radio/feed.xml
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Before We Die New Audio RPG! Before We Die is an actual play podcast that focuses on variety. Every campaign will use a different tabletop RPG system with varying genres, and may even rotate cast members. Join Emily (Lemon), Iggy, Pleu, Aaron, and Matt every other week as we hunt monsters, explore the vast expanse of space, or bake delicious pastries. New stories, new friends, and lots of ways to play. What do you want to do before you die? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231013-08 RSS: https://feeds.simplecast.com/a_K9nPIM
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SCURIU - audiodrama de s'arrori in sardu New Audio Book! Attività realizzata col contributo della Regione Sardegna - IMPRENTAS 2022-2023. LR 22/2018, art. 22. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231012-06 RSS: https://www.spreaker.com/show/5971835/episodes/feed
The Shadowbrook Files New Audio Drama! Three girls at a boarding school try to contact the ghost of their dead best friend. As the seance continues, the remaining three grapple with their unresolved grief and unearth secrets that will forever shatter how they view the world. This show has major dark academia vibes and is perfect for fans of Dorian Gray, Buzzfeed Unsolved/Ghost Files, Dead Poet's Society, The Secret History, Edgar Allan Poe, and a whole array of classic literature. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231010-06 RSS: https://media.rss.com/shadowbrookfiles/feed.xml
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The Jack of Hearts Podcast New Audio Book! When Stillwater, Minnesota's brightest and best, Jack Anderson, disappeared on August 31, 1991, the entire town went into shock. Over thirty years later, the woman closest to him has opened up to tell the story of Jack's life, his love, his friends...and his enemies. Get a first-hand look at the brilliant young man whose eight-year disappearance stumped a town determined to find him -- and left a woman heartbroken. A fiction podcast series, told by April Sauntry-James. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231002-08 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/e84c3298/podcast/rss
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lifespoetry · 2 years
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Josie, Lizzie, Kai and the darkness
Josie and Lizzie
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Through the series the twins had a chance for mutual growth and make serious steps in understanding each other. However their relationship improved is far from perfect. With an absent mother and an alcoholic neglecting father. Bringing Josie to a position feeling responsible to alleviate Lizzie’s intense outbursts. Primary carrying the burden of essentially taking care of her mentally ill sister. Which proves damaging for a number of factors. Considering the fragile of their age she was unable to understand the extent of Bipolar disorder. Resulting in Lizzie not getting proper help and her own sense of self starting to decay. Suppressing her own needs and emotions in order to aid her sister.Josie clinged to it, the only way she used to be seen, taking care of others. In order to pravail her indenity.Something that Lizzie exploited both unconsciously and deliberately.
Learning about the merge and Penelope leaving caused a major drift in their relationship. Lizzie is at loss feeling completely estranged from her sister for first time. She befriends Hope and adapts more easily. Working hard on herself trying to mend things. Hope was the reality check she needed. Yet it wasn't enough to close the gap between them. There was so much resentment and unresolved feelings. Partly because Josie didn't open up choosing to deflect, too accustomed in Lizzie not listening. Falling back in old habits, they talk about it but not really. It's superficial. Outreaching both Josie and the progress Lizzie made. It isn't one separate thing. It's their whole relationship that needs recalculation. All her life plans alighted with Lizzie. Only to learn later on that whatever choice she made lead to this horrific event. Her self preservation arises and is so alien and forgein to her that she creates an outlet for it (dark Josie).
Josie, Alaric and Kai
How more appealing the narrative could be If only took a different route. One that would explain her relationship with Alaric and his odd treatment of her.Whatever half-resemblance of family tie they maintain it's due to her own efforts. The show makes it apparent that she resembles Jo the woman Alaric loved dearly but she isn't the only one who Josie looks alike. He can't bear watching Kai's features intertwined with his wife's heartwarming smile. The twins being unaware of why and how their uncle killed their biological mom. Both Alaric and Caroline are inclined to discuss it, contributing in the already toxic environment.
Throughout their entire childhood a mystery envelops something so grotesque and terrifying too close to Josie for comfort . Shaping certain parts and aspects of herself. Interprerating her dissociation for sociopathy. Both being coping mechanisms that develops in childhood due to severe abuse or neglect. Explaining the role of martyr that she so eagerly takes on, projecting inwards all her Father's treatment. Being too invested in justifying his actions. Above all she wants to do good and wants desperately to be loved. She still lifts the curse without remembering Hope. Seeking comfort in the most unusual places. Jade who hurt her family, Hope who could never reciprocate her feelings.Even her relationship with Landon was crossed over.
The loss of stakes
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Even though I enjoyed them, their interactions were dull at best, with no depth in them. So much potential was lost. Lizzie, with all her wit and sharp remarks, would have been more suitable for these scenes. It would make them far more entertaining. Now picture this: Josie confronts Kai with a certain mindset. A new kind of fear that she's only known since she came to the prison world emerged. A more intimate,dawning horror settled against her bones, recognizing prominent parts of herself in him and bringing her to the harrowing realization that she doesn't hate them. According to her father, she ough to revile every part of Kai. When that doesn't happen, it's terrifying. Instead, josie is partnering up with him, defying her father and forging a queer kinship with her uncle, confirming all her insidious fears. Fundamentally, proving what and who she is can't be good, meaning her reasoning can't be trusted. While what she views as her darkest inclinations in reality are emotions like anger, jealousy, or her instinct for self-preservation, accepting them requires a certain level of awareness and a stable sense of self she isn't accustomed to. This could manifest as the breaking point, ultimately driving her to dark magic. 
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wyntersecret-a · 6 months
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m: Landon B. Wynter. 32-36. director. Maya Tran. 35. production assistant. p: Landon is doing research for a new documentary involving a shady governmental science facility. y/m may or may not have legitimate information that will assist in his production. It can be helpful or detrimental. i: cosmic horror. lovecraft. eldritch horror.
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Every filmmaker vows to dive deep into storytelling. No matter if it hails back to his days as a documentary artist or his current foray into popular cinema. The man’s gone a long way from small time to the big time these days. He’s well known now but there’s still a calling to his roots. Documentaries like these only come along once in a lifetime. The odd mysteries of life, an intrigue bordering on discovering something unexplainable is right on the market for Landon’s interests. Something particularly odd about this whole incident is the involvement of government science. People have conspiracy theories about all things. Flat Earthers be damned there is always some conspiracy nut out there pushing their insane philosophy. Common place in the world and he’s not someone to look at boy who cried wolf syndrome with a realistic view. Maybe he’s more grounded in reality due to the bullshit he’s dealt with. That’s absolutely beside the point as he does research for this potential project. The studio never said he couldn’t work on docs anymore. Still it’s a huge maybe. Following up on leads is akin to detective work and when dealing with an account from someone not rightly in their mind, well, dead ends are a thing. “So you’re sure that’s the only thing coming out of there?”
“What more do you think, Landon? I told you that was all the lead I could dig up.” His assistant seemed outright done with the whole thing and it hasn’t even started. “It’s disturbing.”
She has a point. Ramblings of mentally unstable have that effect in most cases. He’s probably desensitized to a lot of things considering he brings the grotesque to life as a career. More like a passion but it’s the idea that counts. He offered a seat to her, pulling a chair. On the road means stopping off for at least one drink. “Azathoth sounds like it belongs in a creepypasta, Maya. Could be a made up word. Just gibberish and yet I’m here trying to piece together details from this place to make a doc? How do you think that’s gonna go?”
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Maya rolled eyes, placing a hand atop his arm when he joined at the table. “Now you voice your skepticism? If I knew this would happen I never would have forwarded their information.” Her eyes slipped past the director, tilting her head a bit. “… I swear I’ve seen them before.”
Landon turned his head enough to check where she’s occupied. “Mm. Maybe someone recognizes me. Just when I think we’re gonna be low key.”  
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wynterlanding · 7 months
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closed starter continuation -|- american money arc 2 @xwildheart
Sometimes it’s darker in his head than he realizes. Darker than the worst time in his life, which originally had been consumed in the foreboding manipulations of famed actress Emeline Entwistle. Family always claimed to be in some relation to the infamous Peg, taking her final swan dive top of the H of the Hollywood sign. Gross fabrication in his view as was Em’s entire existence. Fabrication. Delusional. Abusive. A cesspool of dirt beneath an oil magnate giving darling daughter her fast breaks BUT oh that’s hardly his darkest.
Sitting half slumped over in a chair, wrists sore from bindings, bruises marring in a cattle brand to his entrapment, Landon’s feeling oh so dark. Swallowed hole in a barrel of insanity in the shape of another blonde; he slowly lifted his head, eyes heavy but able to peer at her. Coming closer with that sick grin on her lips it’s nightmare fuel. Forget all his terrifying visions on film. She IS terror. Wrapped up in a faux soft spoken girl, she is the metaphor for rich shiny red apple. Surface value says its tasty, sweet but inside its core is rotten.
“I want you to know,” Marigold insisted, dragging fingers back through his hair. Gripping to yank his head back, she hovered, lips curved in a smile. “That I’m going to keep you… forever. AND EVER.” Forever and hell can be better. Hell is better. Hell is empty because all those unfathomable devils are here inside this demented diva. She keeps touching him. Grabbing onto his face, stroking along his beard, pulling her unwanted fingers through his hair; Landon struggles to move away. Unable to make his body do what it needs he’s frozen. Not even his voice works. Begging her to fucking stop touching him! Somehow she does hear it even when his lips are sealed closed. Oh and she hates that because she can see right through him.
“Do you see her?” Marigold taunts, pulling hands off to slam them down onto the table beside a dish. “Do you see her here, Landon? DO YOU SEE HER? I cut off her pretty little head just for you. On a silver platter!” She pulled the dome off the dish, giggling as she unveiled her best table spread. Alice all dead!
“St-STOP!” Landon’s voice strangles out, gaining volume in a sweaty rouse. His forehead glistens under a glow of the outside lights crossing into his bedroom. No windows open to allow any sort of breeze so it’s all stifling. Suffocating in his home, closed away battered and disabled. Leg is throbbing in his movement sitting up in a jolt. His breathing hastens in his horrifying disorientation. One might think he’s having a heart attack the way he’s currently clutching at his chest. Beating so hard against his ribs, dreams are dangerous in his state. They keep coming. Every one seems to be worse than the last but here he is. Awake and here with –
“Alice?” he murmured, shifting to an empty side in his bed. His hand dropped from his pounding heart onto the space. Sheets crumpled where she once had been. Where she’s now gone and suddenly the director’s nightmare brain confuses it for reality. “Alice?!”
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acefms · 10 months
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MUSE PLAYLIST / LANDON DUNN (banner credit.)
001. unsteady / x ambassadors
hold , hold on, hold onto me cause I'm a little unsteady. a little unsteady.
002. in the end / linkin park
i tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter. i had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
003. paralyzed/ nf
when did I become so numb? when did I lose myself? all the words that leave my tongue feel like they came from someone else.
004. face 2 face / juice wrld
every time I go to fall asleep these demons haunting me, face my fears, face to face, as we meet. evil is grabbing me, losing my gravity my minds a bloody scene, detached from reality.
005. what I’ve done / linkin park
what I've done, i’ll face myself to cross out what i’ve become, erase myself and let go of what I've done.
006. boulevard of broken dreams / green day
I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. don't know where it goes, but it’s home to me and I walk alone.
007. lovely / billie eillish, khalid
oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here even if it takes all night or a hundred years. need a place to hide, but I can't find one near, wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear.
008. alive / khalid
gatekeeper, can you show me more to life? lately, I've been living out of spite. grim reaper, just give me one more night, I need another chance to say goodbye, I shouldn't have to die to feel alive.
009. never felt so alone / labrinth
and I never felt so alone, felt so alone, no, no.
010. this is me trying / taylor swift
i’ve been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, i have a lot of regrets about that. pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down / I just wanted you to know that this is me trying.
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redhairedwolfwitch · 2 years
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We All Knew This Day Was Coming - Legacies x Noralise!Daughter!Reader
There's no I in Team, or Whatever
B/m/n = biological mother’s name
A/n: finally getting to the interesting episodes... be prepared.
Hope had everyone looking for Malivore-Landon and Ethan. The witches doing spells, the werewolves on runs trying to track, whilst Kaleb helped Alaric with listening into phonecalls.
You were sat with MG, staring into space as MG sat with the police scanner radio Ethan gave him.
"Why can't you just teleport to Ethan like before?" MG asked, running his hands down his face as you hummed.
"Because Hope's too angry to realise I exist. I'm going to go get some air." You replied, patting MG on the shoulder as Lizzie walked in.
///
You were leaning against a column, listening to how Finch wanted Josie to win The Merge, rolling your eyes. It was beginning to feel like every one of Josie's girlfriends didn't care that if they wanted Josie to win the merge, she'd be killing her sister.
You? You despised The Merge all together.
Nora, Mary-Louise and B/m/n exchanged looks of concern as they watched you.
"Jo, Y/n, squad meeting." MG announced, arriving to spot Josie with Finch, then you obscured slightly in the corner.
///
Teleporting to Hope, your blood ran cold as you realised you weren't quick enough.
"Next time, don't make a monster with such a loud heartbeat." Hope snarked, using her magic to create a stake out of metal poles.
"Hope! NO!" You shouted, watching as the monster fell to the floor, Hope's smile turning into a frown at the look of horror on your face.
"Are we missing something-oh gods." B/m/n whispered, her hand covering her mouth in shock as she realised what had happened.
Hope's frown fell into despair as she turned around just as the others turned up, running over to the dead, now human body. Blake.
All of them looked at Hope with fallen expressions, whilst you reached out to Hope, only to be brushed off as reality struck Hope.
She'd killed an innocent person.
Nora and Mary-Louise glanced at each other, sad but knowing look on their faces as they processed the scene, and your actions in everything.
///
"I have to become the tribrid, before anyone else gets hurt." Hope declared, turning her guilt into drive as Alaric's face fell into a grimace.
///
"We all knew this day was coming, here it is. Malivore just found a way to turn innocent people into monsters that he controls, and they're not gonna stop coming, and eventually, we're gonna run out of cages, and chains, and sleeping potions. And then what? The longer we keep him alive, the more innocent people are gonna die. I can't live with that!" Hope replied, pointing out her argument as Alaric listened, and you watched, invisible.
Everyone else was outside with MG and Kaleb using their vampire hearing.
"You're still in shock, alright, so just, calm down, and take a second-" Alaric began, gaining an eye roll from you.
"Don't tell me to calm down like I'm a child! I just killed someone! You know, the former vampire hunter who took me in when I was little would have made this choice in a heartbeat. It's the right thing to do, and you know it." Hope exclaimed as Alaric shook his head.
"It's not that simple." Alaric grumbled, and your stomach twisted in knots as you realised where Alaric was going with this.
"And why not?"
"Because it's not going to work."
"Why wouldn't it work?" Hope's voice was getting louder and louder as Alaric opposed her.
"Because you're not ready!"
Hope's face fell as Alaric sighed.
"You don't trust me..." Hope realised, her eyes glassy before glancing over slightly at where you were invisibled.
"We're talking about more power than anyone has ever had! And no matter how strong you are, you are still your father's daughter!" Alaric shouted, freezing as you uncloaked, an unreadable expression on your face.
"He did not-" "He did." "What an arsehole." Your mothers muttered among themselves.
"Get out, it's not your choice. Get out!" Hope shouted, ignoring you for the moment as Alaric walked to the door.
"Ask yourself if you're ready to give up on Landon and Cleo. Because if you destroy Malivore, that's exactly what you're gonna do!" Alaric's voice was gruff, but Hope was silent as he stood near the door.
"She told you to leave." Your voice was stern, back of your neck tingled as Hope glanced at you.
"I can go too-" You were cut off as Hope walked forwards, pulling you into a tight hug, your body going limp as Hope cast a sleep spell, resting you on her bed as you slipped into the slumber.
"Well, that didn't go the way we were expecting..." Nora whispered, as Mary-Lou glared at Hope and B/m/n facepalmed.
Lizzie and Josie raised an eyebrow at each other as they walked in, watching Hope kiss your forehead before turning to acknowledge them.
///
When you woke up, it was the evening and the twins had siphoned the spell away, explaining the dinner plan to you.
"I need to make some calls, you can start without me." You brushed off their concern, opening Hope's window so you could climb to the roof and you could walk back and forth in peace.
Removing your phone from your boot, you took a breath before pressing the call button.
"Hello? Freya? Yeah, It's Y/n. You need to get to Mystic Falls. Hope's ready to become the full Tribrid, and I think she'd appreciate some Mikaelsons there. Plus, you kind of all owe her a visit."
"I mean..." "You can tell she's our daughter, she has the guts to call out the Mikaelsons." Noralise chuckled as B/m/n rolled her eyes, hiding her smile of agreement.
///
Hope frowned as she looked at the empty seat.
"Where's Y/n? She should be here. I need her here." Hope asked, looking around for you, or an explanation.
"Y/n said she had to make some calls and to start without her." Josie explained, unable to hide her sadness at the look of dismay on Hope's face.
///
You smiled sadly as you spotted the random tree suddenly grow from nowhere in the school backyard. Walking across the roofing to spot Hope doing the spell with the twins.
///
"Take whatever you need. Some momentos, anything comforting because when you walk up, your emotions will be on overdrive and you'll be disorientated." Alaric explained as Hope picked up a polaroid of her and the twins, smiling softly before she glanced over at her window, realising it was open.
"I need Y/n. Any idea where she is?" Hope asked, but Alaric shook his head, instead sitting down to go over a memory of when Hope first arrived at the school.
"That's the second time she's asked for our daughter..." "Do you think she just wants her best friend, or it's something deeper that Hope hasn't realised yet?" "I think we'll find out." Your mothers speculated as they watched Hope reach for something on the floor.
///
"I have a confession to make. Y/n's been trying to get someone here, someone who wanted to make it here in time. I don't think Y/n wanted to show her face without bringing that person to you." Alaric admitted, leading Hope to Landon and formerly Raf's room.
"Aunt Freya?"
"Hello gorgeous." Freya grinned as Hope ran into her arms.
"You did this?" Hope asked, looking at you with glassy eyes.
"Of course. You're- you mean a lot to me." You hesitated, hugging Hope before stepping away.
"No offense, but last time we hugged, you spelled me to sleep." You teased, leaving Hope to roll her eyes before pulling you into a proper hug.
"You're the best, you know that, right?" Hope smiled, not caring about Freya watching as you playfully hummed, before giving her soft smile.
"I could say the same to you." You whispered, sighing slightly before quickly kissing Hope's forehead, not waiting for her reaction as you teleported away, leaving Hope to smile to herself, her eyes widening as Freya quirked an eyebrow teasingly.
"What?" Hope giggled, but Freya just shook her head.
"That was..." "Definitely interesting..." B/m/n snorted, amused at Freya's expression and Hope's obliviousness.
///
You let out a breath as you sat down on your bed, hands running down your face as your chest pounded.
Time ticked towards Hope's death as she and Freya talked about who Hope would become. About how Klaus would have let the world burn to save someone he loved, whilst Hope was the opposite. She was willing to let go of someone she loved, to save innocent people she'd never meet.
"She's afraid." B/m/n pointed out, gaining glares from Nora and Mary-Lou. "What did you expect? The girl she loves is about to die." Mary-Lou replied, glancing at her love, as she and Nora recalled how they died. For each other, to destroy the Phoenix Stone.
///
Vampirism could be an option to stop the twins from Merging. But whoever did turn, would experience something else entirely.
///
Time froze as Hope's heart stopped beating. She looked peaceful as Freya laid her down on the bed. When she would wake up, she would be in transition.
Your chest began to sting as your breathing shortened.
"What's happening?" "I don't know, a panic attack?" Your mothers began to scramble in panic, freezing in place at what happened next.
"What the fuck-" You whispered, trying to stand up but instead, you fell, back against the bed as you stared directly at people you shouldn't be able to see.
"Mum-" Your heartbeat stammered, time freezing for you as your last breath left your body. Your eyes open and afraid.
"She saw us."
///
Lizzie's face fell into shock as she walked into Landon's room with a tray of teas and fizzy drinks.
Hope was gone. The room was trashed. MG was in an unconscious heap on the floor, and the window was broken and burning.
What the hell had happened?
///
See You on the Other Side
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devildomditzy · 2 years
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Lovesick Brothers Mini-Playlists
These will either heal you or hurt you so bad :^)
Lucifer
Cry - Carly Rae Jepsen
“You're king of the castle.
Whenever you're here, you know it feels right.
Don't need to worry. Don't need to move, I've got the spotlight.”
I’m Like A Lawyer The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off - Fall Out Boy
“The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact
is to realize two out of three ain't bad.”
I Want to Be Buried in Your Backyard - Nightmare of You
“Our hands touch unnoticed, pressed up against melting glass.
You're calling out my name as the air escapes.”
Mammon
Shadow - The Bleachers Ft. Carly Rae Jepsen
“And I know that they have hurt you,
and I know the love you gave feels cheap and used.
And I know it's getting harder, and I know the lights have all gone dark on you.
Still I will love your shadow.”
How Do I Tell A Girl I Want To Kiss Her - Modern Baseball
“She's on his mind day and night,
thinks he takes her for granted but to her surprise, he needs her more than she needs him.”
This Must Be My Exit - Oso Oso
“Oh, I'm the last pick of all your draft picks,
lining up my words so they're all cleverly crafted.
You could see right through”
Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex
“When we dance in my living room
To that silly '90s R&B.
When we have a drink or three
Always ends in a hazy shower scene”
Levi
Somewhere in Neverland - All Time Low
“Wendy run away with me. I know I sound crazy, don’t you see what you do to me?
I wanna be your lost boy, your last chance, a better reality.”
Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls Ft. Taylor Swift
“I remember what you wore on the first day.
You came into my life and I thought, hey
you know this could be something.”
Black Butterflies and Déjà Vu - The Maine
“I lose my voice when I look at you.
Can't make a noise though I'm trying to,
Tell you all the right words.
Waiting on the right words.”
Asmo
Visions of Gideon - Sufjan Stevens
“I have loved you for the last time.
Is it a video? Is it a video?”
If I’m Lucky - State Champs
“Hello sunshine, what's your name today?
Well you look so graceful but I'm not faithful.
Do you really want to be with me?”
She’s A God - Neck Deep
“She's a god,
She's a freak like Madonna.
She's a god,
Carry me to nirvana.”
Mother Tongue - Bring Me The Horizon
“So don't say you love me; fala: "Amo".
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know.
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this.
So, I wanna hear your mother tongue.”
Satan
Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop - Landon Pigg
“I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much.
All of the while I never knew.”
Honeybee - Steam Powered Giraffee
“You didn't have to offer your hand,
cause since I've kissed it I am at your command;
But you did.”
I Love You, I Love You, It’s Disgusting - Broadside
“You rescued me when my mind was in a prison.
You set me free when no one else would listen.
Now I finally feel complete.”
Beel
Waiting in Vain - Covered by The Story So Far
“From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, girl
My heart says follow through.”
Can’t Stand It - Never Shout Never
“Baby, I love you, I never want to let you go.
The more I think about, the more I want to let you know,
That everything you do is super fucking cute,
and I can't stand that.”
IDK You Yet -Alexander 23
“Oh, tell me, are your eyes brown, blue, or green?
And do you like it with sugar and cream?
Or do you take it straight, oh, just like me?”
Belphie
Emily - From First to Last
“The winter coldens me for I have yet to sleep.
And never will I give up trying 'cause you're everything to me.”
When You Can’t asleep at Night - Of Mice & Men
“Miles away I can still feel you
lay your head down on my embrace.
Be not afraid to love me”
Quiet - Lights
“I could wait a thousand hours, stay the same in sun and showers,
pick apart a hundred flowers, just to be quiet.”
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bigxrig · 2 years
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I normally put books first since I typically read more fics but this month I read a lot of books. I also decided to add my reviews of the books because I said so, really I have no other reasoning. 
Fics
So Happy To Be With You Right Now by @tommokat
Harry and Louis scroll through the 2022 Met Gala looks.
Subverting Expectations @disgruntledkittenface
“Do you have a cigarette?”
If Harry thought the question would shock Louis, she would've been wrong. Louis doesn’t even look startled, even though it’s the first time one of them has spoken. She smirks at Harry in the mirror.
“We’re not supposed to do that anymore,” she says, her raspy voice full of mirth. Like she’s amused at Harry or something. “It’s bad for the paintings or whatever.”
“And you’re not a bad girl,” Harry says, turning to face Louis. She leans her hip against the counter, determined to both gain the upper hand and not think about why she wants to. “Right?”
Harry goes to the ladies’ room at the Met Gala expecting a cigarette and a break from the boredom. Instead, she gets Louis.
Stranger Coffees by @chai-hat-tea ​
Harry wants to start his perfect weekend by having his favourite coffee from his favourite café, but the stranger with the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen was never part of the plan. Or is he really a stranger?
Or, the cliche coffee shop AU.
It’s Been So Long by @littleroverlouis
“I don’t make it a habit of marrying boring broads,” Louis muses.
Harry snorts. ”Or staying married to us bad bitches. Cheers to my favorite ex-wife!”
The pair toasts each other with their icy margaritas.
Silver Foxes Louis and Harry have a long, complicated relationship that is hotter than a jetstream burning up. What happens if they roll and they roll 'til they change their luck?
Rimadon by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright
Zayn books a private session with Louis the day after Eid al-Fitr to keep his own personal celebration going.
To Sleep, Perchance to Ream by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright
Louis has never minded that Harry tends to go to sleep earlier than her. But the nights when Harry signals she'd like Louis to...wake her when she comes to bed are Louis' favorite.
Harry, You’re No Good Alone  by @cinemastan
“Can I do anything for you, Daddy?” He asked sweetly, giving Louis big eyes.
“No, baby. Did enough just letting me please you.” Louis gently tucked a curl behind Harry’s ear. “Did you want any breakfast?”
Harry couldn’t help but frown. “I-what?”
I'd Walk Through Fire For You (Just Let Me Adore You) by @neondiamond
Firefighter Louis is having an uneventful shift at the station when a call comes in about a devastating fire in a nearby apartment complex. All of his worst nightmares become reality when he realises it’s where Harry, his best friend who he’s had a relentless crush on for years, lives, and that said best friend is stuck inside among the flames.
Books
You and Me by Tal Bauer
A single dad’s romance/bisexual awakening/friends to lovers
This book destroyed me in the best way. The dad’s were keeping their relationship a secret from their respected kids so I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it did, wow! I was not expecting the twist. I loved Luke’s bisexual awakening. Luke and Landon’s friendship was amazing to witness and I loved watching them realize their friendship wasn’t ever just friendship.
Funny Feelings by Tara DeWitt
 Fake dating/boss and employee/single father
This was pretty cute, I’m not a big fan of stand-up comedians so why I decided to read a book about stand-up comedians is beyond me. I liked the relationship between Farley and Hazel, it was really sweet from the beginning. Overall it was okay, didn’t regret reading it at least.
214 Palmer Street by Karen McQuestion
 a psychological thriller
So it’s fitting her last name is McQuestion because wow do I have some McQuestion’s. I was able to guess everything that was going to happen which was such a bummer when it comes to a psychological thriller. I loved the premise of the book and I would love to know why the author chose certain plot lines that she did. The villain had good reasoning and I wish the author would have given her one more push to her madness.
The Caretaker by Emily Shiner
a psychological thriller
I read this right after 214 Palmer Street because I was desperate for a thrill and it delivered! It gave me the creeps the entire read and even afterwards when I was telling my husband about it. I loved that each character’s flaws. Reading Paul’s spiral was seamless and creepy. The ending was frustrating but in a good way. This book will stay with me when I’m home alone for sure.
One Percent of You by Michelle Gross
 enemies to lovers/single mother romance
The best part of this book was when Elijah steals Lucy’s chips in the grocery store aisle and hisses at her. It’s a cute read and Elijah’s protectiveness over Hadley and her children was sweet. I wish there seemed to be more of a inner fight with Elijah and deciding to be a family man. Overall it was a cute read, if not a little forgettable.
Lilacs and Leather by Thora Wood
 a pack bond abo
I loved this book so much. I don’t go into reading het abo with a lot of high hopes since I’m not a huge traditional abo lover. I love the bond the pack has though- they all have different sexualities and different kinds of love which I really appreciated. I found myself yelling at a few of the characters but they really developed through the second book. The ending of this one had me immediately downloading the second and reading as quickly as I could.  
Lavender and Lightening by Thora Wood
sequel to Lilacs and Leather. a pack bond abo
I was on the edge of my seat through most of this book. I loved the development of Lydia and Lex’s relationship, that was probably my favorite part of the book. I’m eagerly awaiting the third part.
Praise by Sara Cate
age gap/taboo relationship, boss/employee, bdsm
Seeing as how this book is about the relationship between a father and his son’s ex-girlfriend, I expected a back and forth on deciding if the relationship was worth it to pursue. However, some of it was irritating to keep reading. The sex in this was super hot and I loved Charlotte’s sexual awakening and confidence she gained. I also love the acceptance from Emerson and Charlotte’s trans little sister Sophie.
Eyes on Me by Sara Cate
age gap/taboo relationship, bdsm, grumpy and sunshine characters
This isn’t a direct sequel to Praise but it features overlapping characters. The male lead in this co owns the bdsm club Emerson runs in Praise. I didn’t mind reading the step brother and step sister romance, I knew what I was getting into when I began it. The most unrealistic plot point was their parents approval. I totally understand the want of a happy ending but I would almost rather them have had to run away together. Just like the first book in the series, the sex was hot and overall it was alright.
Love In The City by Jen Morris
 single dad, neighbors, enemies to lovers
By the time I wanted to put this book down and not finish it, I was a hundred pages from the end so I stuck it out. I understand why the author used the single dad trope but it was pointless at the end of the day. The kid was forgotten about half the time and the female lead hardly interacted with the kid. I loved Alex’s backstory and wish the author did more with the relationship with her parents. Michael was lowkey toxic and I actually dislike that they were together in the end.
Owned By a Sinner by Michelle Heard
an Irish mafia romance
I enjoyed the majority of this book. The sex was hot, the Romeo and Juliet element was great. The sexual assault wasn’t unnecessary to the plot, which sometimes I find authors adding for the hell of it. I liked Liam and Kiara’s relationship and the trust she felt in him. For once I wish this wasn’t a standalone and the book hadn’t ended the way it did.  
Love Language by Reece Morrison
 gay bdsm age gap/dom/sub relationship
I loved the inclusivity of this book but not much else to be honest. The sex scenes were hot and I liked Marco’s Daddy Dom persona. I couldn’t connect with the characters like I hoped I would. If I met them out and about I wouldn’t want to be friends with them. Overall the writing wasn’t bad, I just couldn’t connect.
Love Lessons by Reece Morrison
gay bdsm/age play relationship
Admittedly, I only read this because I am currently trying to write an age play fic. Again, I love the inclusivity of the characters- deaf characters, ace characters, gender fluid characters. Some of the sex scenes were hot but overall I found myself getting tired of one of the main characters. I understood their backstory and what led them to be who they are but I honestly just didn’t like them very much. Like the first book in the series, I didn’t mind the writing. I just couldn’t connect.
Tangled Vows by Anna Stone
lesbian fake dating au
It was okay, honestly. The most remarkable part was that they were woman. The sex scenes were okay and I liked some of the side plots but unfortunately they weren’t explored a lot.
Montana Daddies Series by Laylah Roberts
dom/sub, age play romances
Alright listen, I debated on whether I really wanted to admit to reading this series but here I am lmao I am only on book 4 but I’m going to read them all so I’m including them in this months list even though I haven’t finished. Each book is a with a different man so they are all a little different but the premise is the same. Damsel in distress doesn’t realize she is a Little and she meets the man who happens to be a Daddy Dom and shows her her true self and they live together on Sanctuary Ranch where they live and work. Overall, the writing is decent. The plots can be good but there are some elements of dubious consent that the author never addresses. For example, the daddy dom’s somehow knowing the woman is a Little and convincing her to give it a try. It’s like, not great. The woman gives in and there are safe words in place but sometimes it feels icky. Am I going to keep reading the series? Unfortunately. In my defense, it’s part research part curiousity.
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