#and since i am terrified of sucking at things i just don't do them living the life of a perfectionist procrastinator | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

qqueenofhades · 3 months

Note

I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable answering this, but my mind is spiraling out of control and you’re the only person I know with the level of knowledge to where I can feel comfortable asking this without getting some form of “bla bla we live in a safe state don’t worry.”

I’m sincerely wondering if I need to be making plans to leave the country in the event of November bringing the most horrible of outcomes despite our best efforts (and yes I’m planning to vote blue in everything I can); as a AFAB in CA?

I know about project 2025. I’m terrified. Forgive my pop culture reference, but I feel like a version of Princess Zelda staring down a barrel of possible doom while everyone around me is like “nah that future you literally had a nightmare about where they made it illegal for a woman to have a bank account without a guy co-signing it and took the money from everyone who didn’t comply by a certain date isn’t even a possibility!”

I’m just confused about my life and am trying to take it day by day, and exercising every right while I still have it to prevent this outcome, but it feels weird making plans and retirement accounts and just general Setting Up Adult Life And Future Things™️……while wondering if I even have a future in this place at all and I’m just making it harder to escape if need be.

I’m sorry I’m rambling, and I guess I don’t know what I’m asking since no one has a crystal ball.

But I guess, it’s stuff like how much can the feds effect state’s policies? Is it possible for them to immediately block international travel for all women practically upon inauguration? How much time would I even have to gtfo if the worst begins?

Bc honestly this whole thing feels like the lead in to a very nasty chapter of a history book, and even though I have hope we’ll have another blue tsunami, it can be hard to try and figure things out when it feels like there’s barely any historical precedent for any of it.

Welp. Okay. First of all, I am giving you a comforting hug, I am walking with you to your favorite coffee shop, I am paying for your favorite beverage and also a baked goodie of your choice, and we are sitting down in a corner where we can talk honestly. So that's where I want you to imagine us having this conversation.

To start with, yes, I completely understand this feeling of utter, paralyzing doom, where I am trying to go about my daily life and make plans for my career and carry out daily tasks and Be Responsible while there's still just this total void beyond the end of the year, the utter impossibility of knowing if we will have dodged an absolutely massive bullet and finally be safe (since if Trump loses again he is 100% going to jail in the next four years) or, well. You know. That is a very hard way to live, when you're wondering if anything is going to matter and you can't see beyond that black cloud of fear on the horizon. It sucks you down and tells you that nothing is worth doing now in case it just gets so much worse. I am not going to tell you not to feel that. We all do. We are all scared. That in and of itself is a perfectly normal way to feel.

However, there are things you can do both now and if (I repeat, if) God absolutely forbid, the worst was to happen (again). First of all, we have already lived through a Trump presidency once. It was terrible and scary and awful and demoralizing as fuck, but we can do it again if we absolutely Goddamn fucking have to (once, again, God forbid). Second, you are currently about as safe as you could be in California. Newsom has proven himself to be smart, tough, able to run rings around Republicans, and unwilling to comply with their stupid performative-cruelty directives. He's not a saint or a magician, but you don't need that; you need a shrewd politician able to fight back, and he has proven himself willing and capable of doing that. So as long as he is governor, you're going to be more safe than not, and I'd also like to ask all the shrieking Online Leftists if, should the shit go down, they would rather live in a state with a Democratic governor who will fight Trump 2.0 every step of the way, or a Republican governor who will just roll over and obey. (But that would destroy their BOTH PARTIES ARE THE SAME talking point, so you know.)

Next of all, even if the Republicans are doing their best impression, America in 2024 isn't Germany in 1934. There are different tools, different ways to fight back, and different awarenesses/social media/visibility factors. I also need everyone to remember that just as Biden can't just sign an executive order and fix everything everywhere, Trump can't just sign an executive order and fuck everything everywhere, just like that with no more discussion ever. He tried that last time, it generally didn't work, and trust me, at least this time nobody is sleeping on the danger he poses. His candidacy in 2016 was dismissed as a long-shot joke that nobody took seriously until it was too late, and for better or worse, people aren't doing that this time. He will be sued instantly, incredibly, and repeatedly with everything his band of wannabe fascists try, and since we have had four years of Biden fixing the courts from where Trump trashed them, that does mean something. There is no scenario where even if he does issue some outrageous order against women, LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, etc (which to be clear, I'm sure he would try) it would just be carried out completely, immediately, and with no feasible way to stop it. Evil is evil, but it is also stupid, clueless, determined to hurt people just for the hell of it without any regard for what is possible or which will be allowed, and there's a lot more grey area in there than just "Trump says something terrible and it's instantly done, the end."

Once again, I'm not going to say that the worst-case scenario is not possible, but I don't think it's likely, and even if that does happen, there are ways for us to survive and fight back (again). Nobody wants it and it should not have to be asked of us due to the utter collapse of the social, civic, political, and intellectual fabric of this country thanks to the TrumpCult, but once again... these people are so loud and dangerous and cruel and stupid because they are in the minority. Etc. etc. polls are garbage, but we did just have an interesting piece of empirical data from the Iowa caucuses. Trump -- in one of the whitest, most rural, most conservative, most religious, most Trump-loving states in the country -- struggled to break 50%. Almost half of a rabid Republican fully-Trumpized electorate, among the diehards sufficiently motivated to get out and caucus in extreme freezing weather, voted for someone else (Haley and DeSantis took about 20% apiece). Now, no, we don't know how that will translate to the general election, and if registered Republicans will flock back to the nominee even if it's Trump, but as almost half of Haley voters said they would vote for Biden if it was a Biden-Trump matchup in the general, there is some sense that Trump is an aberration to their otherwise ironclad party loyalty. Now, Republicans are the fucking worst and nobody should be relying on them to save us; we still need to get out and vote for Democrats with all our might. But Trump is no longer barn-burningly popular even in core Trump heartland, and it'll be interesting to see how things go in future primaries.

My point is: I know the feeling that evil is awful and unstoppable and all-powerful, and will crush our lives and our futures no matter what we do to resist it. I really, really do. But Trump is a terrible candidate, he's running literally only to keep himself out of a long, long prison sentence, and if he had crushed the Iowa caucuses regardless, we might be having a different conversation. However, we need to remember that it is possible, again (God forbid) in the worst scenario, to resist, to live, and to win. Everyone who is motivated to work for a better world will still be here. Everyone who can help you and all of us will still be here. And there are more of us than there are of them. Yes, I do understand the feeling that we need to have contingency plans in place, I do absolutely know that it could get very bad, and all that (as you say, nobody has a crystal ball). But for now, I want you to take a deep breath, try to take this day by day, and remember that this is not a crushing and inevitable future that will sweep over you and destroy you without you (or any other person of good will) having a say in the matter. You still have agency, you still have the ability to protect yourself, and you still have others who will protect you in turn. You're not alone. The bad guys want you to think that, because when you're isolated and terrorized, you're easier to pick off and/or recruit into their cult. But you're not.

In conclusion: "What are we holding onto, Sam?"

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts #hang in there!

181 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 4 months

Note

🔥 each member of vox machina

Vax: really the sadboy narrative for Liam has always been stupid but it's egregiously bad that it started with Vax, who is like, sad for maybe a fifth of the episodes and largely because Liam O'Brien's actual mother was dying, like, with all due respect what the actual fuck, fandom.

Vex: I am the founding and probably only member of the "Vex is my favorite character and also I am 100% cool with Colville's depiction of her." The generosity she shows even very early on in C1 is still a generosity borne of some degree of security - they have a keep by then - and I also just don't think you have to like a character to write them fairly. Granted it's been a minute since I read early VMO but nothing stood out to me as out of line with my understanding of Vex.

Pike: repeating myself once again but I like Pike a lot and wish we could have seen more, but because we didn't, people who say she's their favorite in C1 do tend to turn me off in that I feel they're looking for a relatively flat and widely praised character to project onto rather than a character who goes through more messy development.

Grog: I think he's often underestimated and I was guilty of doing so myself, to be honest, until I saw Travis play more and until I personally got better at D&D. Also I still maintain that playing INT 6 sensitively and well is infinitely harder than playing INT 16, all things considered, and this is yet another reason why people should play high INT more often.

Scanlan: Also underestimated; I do understand being turned off by the whole extremely horny playboy thing but as I've said before Bard's Lament is a major litmus test for me: if you think Scanlan is completely at fault here, you are wrong, and if you think he's not partially at fault, you are also wrong.

Tary: I genuinely love him and think he's a great character and one of Sam's best, but while his character arc is strong the Taryon Darrington Arc of the VM Campaign, through no fault of his own (and partly bc I personally think D&D Hell, especially pre-Descent Into Avernus publication, is kind of boring), is one of the weakest parts of the campaign because it's kind of a grab bag of loose ends. With that said I would happily watch more Darrington Brigade-one shots.

Percy: Percy is also generally a litmus test in that it's like. Is he a good person? Eventually I believe he becomes one, and even before that I think he's very sympathetic and deeply traumatized and like, 24, so I get it, but also, who the fuck cares. This ties into the Essek and the Ashton opinions and all kinds of other stuff but why are people so invested in fucking absolving their blorbo of all sins? I want someone who's lived enough of a life to have done some heinous shit because that's fun and interesting and it's pretend and also because then they can have a rewarding character arc by either working towards redemption or coming to terms with who they are or spiraling into tragedy.

Keyleth: I like Keyleth a lot but I am, as this post indicates, far more sympathetic to Vex, and so while I do think Keyleth is a fairly good person she is also extremely sheltered and naive and terrified of doing the wrong thing and I would have, like Vex, wanted to scream at her half the time were I just a random NPC wandering about the campaign. On the other hand C3-era Keyleth? fantastic no notes she has grown up in such an interesting way.

Tiberius: I think we, and by we I mean people capable of separating the art from the artist, can recognize that his concept actually fucking slapped and unfortunately he was played by someone who absolutely sucked in a myriad of ways. I would love to see the alternate universe in which the same general concept (prodigy sorcerer from Draconia who is full of themself) had to face not just the destruction of their civilization but the realization that they were taking advantage of the Ravenites and while they did not deserve to be killed by Vorugal, had done nothing to justify aid from those they had subjugated either. Like, the alternate world in which one of the current cast members or like, a close friend of the main cast (Ashly, Erika, Mary Elizabeth) played this is one I'd love to see.

#answered #burr-ell #unpopular opinions ask meme #cr tag

64 notes · View notes

diakaoniii · 2 years

Text

— yuma mukami

TW: Sexual abuse

“Ah…Hah”

After he had finally freed himself from you, you were gasping for air while nakedly laying on your back on the enormous, plush bed. You didn't like it at all. All you felt was pain and fear.

Why...

Why is he treating you like this? Why does he touch your body without your consent?

This had nothing to do with love.

It didn't matter how many times you challenged him, he always came out on top. The whole of your body, including your face, was covered with bruises.

Would passing away relieve you of this agony for good?

You were so worn out that you were unable to even open your eyes. You just lay there. You attempted to dislodge Yuma from your grasp by pressing your small hands against his strong chest and pushing him away from you.

He frowned at this gesture and spoke in an angry tone;

“Oi, sow. What the hell are ya doing!? Do you want more wound and bruise on your body? It's not a problem for me!”

You let out a painful moan as he gave you a smack that was so forceful that it caused the inside corner of your lips to bleed. You were certain that you were going to have a bruise on your face after the incident. You moaned in pain as you tenderly put a shaky palm to your face, and you did so while shaking slightly.

You were sobbing not because of physical pain but rather because of emotional anguish.

When did the guy who you previously loved become such an entirely different person? The changes to him brought to your attention, but you chose to disregard them.

After all, he was a vampire.

A vampire would be very protective of the person he cared about, even to the point of taking lives for his woman.

Especially in the event that the woman that he loves is a human being.

He is jealous of even his brothers.

One day, he punched Kou till his face was covered with blood to suck your blood.

Didn't it upset him to see his own brother covered in blood?

Since then, he has undergone an important shift in behavior for you. He used to want you to help him in the garden, but now he forbids you to even step out of his room Every time you try to go out this room, all you get is a few bruises and broken bones…

You gently opened your eyes and made a sound like you were attempting to speak. You were so exhausted that it was difficult to even to speak right now.

You forced yourself to plead in a low, tired voice.

“Yuma-Kun... I'm sorry if I made you angry; that was not my intention. I simply can't get over how weary I am, and the pain in my thigh is becoming worse. Let me get some rest, please—”

He clamped his hand firmly around your hair and yanked you closer to him;

“What, ya believe I care about anything or something I care about, sow? I will not stop until I am satisfied. Moreover—”

He put his free arm around your waist while one hand grasped your hair securely and stroked your body in a slow with lust. He buried his head in your delicate neck and spoke those words in a raspy voice that would send shivers down your spine.

“I want to have children. Tonight, I'll make sure you're pregnant. I don't care whether y'a want it or not; y'a will give birth to my baby.”

After he finished speaking, he released his hold on your hair and let you drop into the bed. You were terrified; you didn't want that. Your eyes were filled with tears, and your whole body was shaking. You forgot about how weary you were because of the unadulterated terror that you felt.

This is not the guy you allowed yourself to fall in love with.

“No, Y-yuma-Kun… *sob* P-please d-on't do it to me— *sob* I-I am not r-ready t-to be a m-mother yet.”

Crying was the only thing you were capable of doing at that moment because you were too weak to stop him.

“No...”

“It is now too late, sow… Nobody asked you if you were ready.”

When his members nudged you into womanhood, your cries of desperation became louder.

197 notes · View notes

rainbowgaez · 8 months

Text

long ramble because i just dropped my gf off at the airport and I am a fucking mess with too many thoughts in my brain

over the last couple weeks, i finally met one of my partners—the one ive been with longer than ive been with literally anyone else in my life. despite being together since mid 2016, this was the first time we both had the wherewithal to make a visit happen, and while that may seem like it took way too long, for a lot of reasons that you don't need to know, it couldn't have happened at a more perfect time.

she flew in on the 26th and immediately i knew we would get along just as easily as we had online for years before then. both of us have always talked about how quiet and introverted we are, but it was one of those things where i didn't know if we were going to truly vibe irl until it happened, even if both of us were pretty sure we would.

we always talked abt how the first car ride from the airport was going to be awkward—it's a 3 hour drive from my place to there. both of us are slow to work up to physical affection, but when i picked her up, it wasn't but like ten or twenty minutes into the ride before we were wrapped up in each other. it just clicked. that's so incredibly rare for me with anyone. even partners ive established intimacy with, i usually have to re-warm up to them after time apart. so the fact that we connected so quickly when we first met was so special.

im a pretty boring, solitary person. my favorite activities are ones in which it's quiet and i can do my own thing. this is always a bit scary for me. i don't want to bore anyone just because my brain only ever feels like engaging with what it wants. but that wasn't a problem with her—quite the opposite, actually. we could just sit there and quietly do our own thing in my room, and it felt every bit as special as it would if we went out and did things. there was no pressure for either of us. we settled into each other's patterns instantly. within days, it felt like she'd been living with us all along. i wished that were the case.

distance is hard. it's a lot of counting. how many miles apart you are. how many hours, days it would take to close the gap. how much time will it be before you can be together for real.

and then, when you plan a visit, it becomes about counting down, and that's so exciting. you start counting the months until it's time. before you know it, you're counting the weeks. it's something to look forward to. something to hang on to.

but the moment you meet, the countdown isnt exciting anymore. it gets a lot harder. you might still have weeks to count, but before you know it, weeks become days. days become hours. hours become minutes. minutes become mile markers, and mile markers become exits, exits become streets, streets become steps, and steps become seconds spent holding each other, waiting for the other to pull away because it's the last thing you want to do. but you have to. that's the only way to start the count over. and that sucks. because you dont get to know how long it's going to be until way later. but just the same, you don't know when the next countdown will be the last one. it's the most terrifying assurance there is.

i feel blessed that me, her, and all my partners exist in the same time, in a reality where we have the ability to connect to each other despite how unlikely the chances of us ever meeting were. i feel lucky to live in a world where, one day, a silly string of text like @nudist-squid can be the first name i know someone who will eventually become one of the most important people in my life by.

but at the same time, im heartbroken and devastated. it feels cruel that we met because of certain circumstances, and yet we exist so far away for those same reasons. and closing that gap takes so much from both of us, and there's no promise we can ever close it for good. but if I can help it, I certainly want to try.

this summer has been dogshit. ive been through so much unnecessary bullshit, and when things have been looking to improve, something else happens. but this was the most wonderful bookend to a dismal season i could have asked for.

thanks for reading.

#if this is wonky it's bc I'm on 3 hrs of sleep and fresh of three straight days of crying my eyes out

36 notes · View notes

bradleybearx · 10 months

Text

- I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND IM TERRIFIED -

Hello to the readers that read this imagine I’m sorry it’s been like two or so weeks since I posted my last one. I have been busy with school and getting my SACE so I can finish school successfully, also I have been reading a lot more lately and I lose track of time when I do so.

I hope you enjoy this imagine and I am currently in the middle of working on another one ready to post next week or maybe sometime this week. Please feel free to leave suggestions, ideas, or even requests.

- WARNINGS - MINOR LANGUAGE & ANGST - 1.6K WORDS -

- EDITED -

🍿

I walk into my apartment after work to get ready for tonight's movie night at Zara’s with Tristan. It was a regular get-together thing after Zara moved out into Tristan's place. They were engaged and thought it was finally time to move in with each other. Brad was still living there with them while trying to find another place to live.

After my shower, I got into comfy clothes and grabbed my keys to leave. While on my way I picked up some snacks since I didn't want to go empty-handed again like I did last time, and I didn't eat a thing that night because I felt like shit for not bringing anything even though Zara and Tristan never cared. I pulled up to their house as Zara runs out to me and pulls me into a big hug.

"Hey girl, I was wondering where you were" Zara laughs.

"I went to the shops first, I'm sorry I'm late" I smile as I grab the bag and my other belongings.

"You did not have to bring anything, we made Brad do the shopping this week and he brought a lot, he also has someone over" My heart dropped as I continue smiling.

"Oh, is she nice" I ask.

"See for yourself me and Tris don't know about her" She shrugs as I lock my car and we walk into her house.

"Y/N you are here" Tristan pulls me into a hug "How was work" I place the bag down on the counter.

"Good" I nod as I look over at Brad and the blond woman next to him "Hi" I smile.

"Y/N meet Sarah, Sarah this is Y/N" Brad smiles.

"Hello" I nod to her and give her a light smile.

"Hi" She rolls her eyes as I look down, great she doesn't like me.

"Well let's get this rolling, Y/N wanna help me set up" I nod in response as Tristan, Brad and Sarah go to the couch and set up in there "I am so sorry about her, shes been here for two nights and has given me attitude as well it's disgusting, she clearly doesn't get that I'm engaged to Brads best friend" Zara shakes her head.

"Maybe she's scared to lose him" I shrug.

"No she's fake, like come on look at the lip job, clearly her boobs are fake and her ass, come on Brad could do better, and I hope he opens his eyes one day and notices she is right in front of him" She laughs.

"Zara shh" I nudge her with my shoulder as she giggles.

She wasn't wrong, Sarah was not someone I thought id ever see with Brad but if she makes him happy then it's worth it. Don't get me wrong I was jealous because I was in love with Brad but I knew how he was with women and how he got bored and didn't last a week with them so it was nothing new to us but it was also the reason I never told him how I felt.

Once we set up I sit down and we all decide on White Chicks for the movie, Zara and Tristan laughed and whispered to each other as I noticed why, I felt so bad but it was funny. Halfway through the movie, I felt eyes stinging the side of my head, I look over and see Brad staring at me as I give him a light smile but he just looks away.

"Wait, where is your boyfriend Y/N" Sarah pipes up.

"I.. I don't have one" I respond.

"Must be lonely, no one to cuddle, or kiss you while whispering cute things to you, I mean I can see why you are single but like have you tried dating apps that's how Brad and I met" She shrugs.

"I uhh.. I have before but didn't work out" I shrug. "Oh must suck, guess it's not for everyone" She giggles "Tristan you did amazing, but keep her away from Brad I see how she looks at him"

"I don't look at him in any way besides an idiot" Zara rolls her eyes.

"That's enough" Tristan shakes his head.

"You scored a model baby" Brad just nods as I look back at the TV holding in my tears, to be honest, it felt lonely now.

"Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm not feeling too well, im gonna go" I say as I stand up catching Brad's eyes on mine.

"Oh okay, are you sure do you need anything" Zara asks.

"No, I'm alright, thank you though ill let you know when I'm home" Zara pulls me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry about her" She whispers.

"It's okay, it's not your fault" I smile softly and leave to my car trying to hold it till I got in my car but failed.

"Wait wait" Brad runs after me "Im sorry I should have said something to her I'm sorry"

"It's okay, as long as you are happy that's all that matters to me okay" I turn around to face him.

"No you didn't deserve to be treated that way and I'm sorry" He walks closer to me.

"Please go back inside and enjoy the rest of the night, I just wanna get home I'm not feeling well and I just want to go to bed" I open my car door.

"Let me come with then, I know you hate being by yourself when you're sick" He says.

"Brad please I will be okay" A tear slips as I quickly wipe it away.

"No I know you, when you're sick the first person you go to has always been me, so I could just come with you and keep you company while you sleep" I hated that he was right, but he always dropped everything for me when I was sick.

"I'm fine, I just wanted to leave really" I sigh.

"Because of her right, I knew you were feeling fine" He asks with a grin.

"I mean yeah, did you hear how she spoke to me, I mean I can see why after I told her I wasn't seeing anyone, that really fucking hurt Bradley" I cry.

"But you know it's not true okay, anyway though I need to move I walked in on Zara and Tris last night and I never want to do that again, so since I know you hate living alone because it gets lonely, and I'm looking for a place to stay-"

"No" I shake my head as I cut him off before he finished his sentence.

"Why"

"Because I don't wanna hear you fucking a new chick each week, and I don't want to be bullied in my own house" I state.

"Is that really how you see me" He asks.

"You can't blame me, you have a new girlfriend each week, Zara tells me" I sigh.

"So you keep tabs on me now do you, so moving in would be great you can keep tabs on every little thing I do" He laughs "I knew you had a crush on me just admit it love" He backs me into the car as my back hits my door.

"Go please, I know you don't feel the same otherwise you would do something about it or you would stick up for me" I cry "You know what fine you're right, I'm so in love with you and I'm terrified" I admit.

"Why are you terrified" He frowns.

"Because you would treat me like you treat them, use me till you're bored and then toss me to the side and boom I'm a new name to add to your list" He stared deeply into my eyes not believing a single word I just said.

"I hate that, that is how you see me, love, I would drop everything for you, everything, I come over late at night just because you call and ask me to stay because you are paranoid or lonely, I look after you when you are sick, and I do stand up for you that's why I ran out here after I told her to leave and that I want nothing to do with her, which I do not know why she hasn't left yet, but you can go ask Zara and Tris and they will tell you what I did, id risk my whole life for you, so don't tell me id throw you to the side like a number, because little do you know I fucking love you more than anything this world could offer me, ill always choose you, you are the reason they never work out because it's you, you own me, I will always be yours" He cups my face in his hand.

"Bradley" I whisper.

"Shhh" He plants his lips on mine softly and the kiss tells me so much more than what he has told me, I knew he meant it "I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I'm yours, that I would risk my life for you, okay, now please come back in" He asks.

"Can you whisper sweet things in my ear" I giggle.

"Of course, I can, also she doesn't know what she's talking about you're perfect in every way possible, but love, can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night as an apology and a date" He asks as we walk back into the house as Sarah leaves.

"Wow you move on fast" I giggle "But yes you may"

"It's about time you two finally opened your eyes, was gonna ring the hospital for laser eye surgery for the both of yous, especially you Bradley" Zara and Tristan laugh "Thanks, I think you calling me an idiot finally made me realise something" Brad laughs "Good, should have said it earlier Zar" Tristan plants a soft kiss on Zara's cheek as we go back to the movie and I cuddle up to Brad till I fell asleep.

#brad simpson #bradley simpson #bradley will simpson #connor ball #james mcvey #the vamps #tristan evans #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #light angst

20 notes · View notes

slasher-male-wife · 2 years

Note

hey, im having a true anxiety moment for reasons and i was wondering if i could get some hurt x comfort headcanons for Billy Lenz, Chop Top, Bubba, Thomas, Vincent, Bo, Brahms, and Eddie Munson with an s/o who has to get surgery( minor or extreme) and is absolutely terrified of surgery and medical stuff. i might have to have surgery on my damn face and i am very scared. your writing always makes me happy and keep being amazing <3

I’m so sorry this took so long, it was kinda hard for me to come up with ideas lately. I'm not the best at comforting people so I'm sorry if this really sucks. Also I like to keep things cannonical for my writing, like events of fics and headcannons taking place in the time the media is set it. This goes along with keeping slashers who live off the grid well off the grid. But it doesn't really matter to me this time because getting surgery, especially surgery on your face is scary. I've had surgery before, thankfully when I was younger and I don't remember much of it but I do have to get my wisdom teeth out soon and I am dreading it so much. I hope this help sooth your nerves a bit. You've got support from me on this too. Reader is gn.

Includes: Billy Lenz, Chop Top and Bubba Sawyer, Vincent and Bo Sinclair, Brahms Heelshire and Eddie Munson

Warnings: Surgery mentions, paranoia, strong language, talk of medical issues, Billy calling reader pretty piggy

Billy Lenz

You found out that you're going to have to get surgery to remove impacted teeth in the back of your mouth and you are terrified.

When you went to Billy crying he got very worried about you. He held you close to his chest and waited for you to tell him what was wrong.

When you do tell him whats wrong he doesn't fully understand but he doesn't let that stop him from comforting you. "Pretty piggy shouldn't worry. Pretty piggy will be fine. Billy will make sure pretty piggy is ok."

He'll do everything in his power to make sure you stay calm and think rationally. He'll talk about how doctors do things like that all the time and it won't be too long.

If he ever find you crying or stressing about it he'll hold you close to him and let you tell him everything. "Pretty piggy is safe with Billy. Billy won't let anyone hurt his pretty piggy,"

Chop Top Sawyer

After a visit to the doctors you find out you have to have surgery on your neck to treat a blockage in an artery. You've been stressing about that surgery since you found out you needed it.

Chop Top quickly caught onto what was going on and tries his best to comfort you. He'll talk about how when he got the plate his head he went under and never felt anything. I feel like he'd have a ton of other surgeries like getting stitches as a kid or even as an adult by Bubba.

He'll talk about all the times you've been super brave while at the house with them and how if you could get them to keep you alive you can survive a common surgery.

He’s gonna try to keep you distracted as much as he can by bringing you little trinkets and bones that he thinks are really cool.

He’s not super good with emotions but he’ll listen to your worries and try to figure out how to comfort you from there.

Bubba Sawyer

Just like with Chop Top you have to have surgery on an artery and you’re so worried something is going to go wrong and you’ll bleed out. When you tell Bubba about your worries he pulls you into a hug right away.

Whenever he sees you getting worried he pulls you away from whatever you’re doing and holds you in his arms. He understands if you don’t want to talk to him about it but he just wants to try to make it better.

He’s gonna do whatever he can to distract you from those feeling of stress and worry. Other people have said he has an emotional support chicken and I agree totally. He’ll let you hold it and have it sit in your lap.

He’ll have Drayton make you your favorite foods and the twins keep it down. He’ll keep all the killing outside and keep the noise down.

He’ll give you little projects to take your mind off the stress of the surgery. He’s not gonna let you stress more than you need to.

Vincent Sinclair

After your nose got broken by a tourist you tried to heal it on your own, but once it didn’t get better Bo took you to the hospital and found out you have to get surgery to realign the bones.

When you got back to the house you ran to Vincent for comfort. Crying about how scared you are to get it done. He holds you there and listens to you cry.

He’s had his fair share of surgeries himself because of his deformity so he understands how scary it can be to get that done. He’ll sign to you about how you’ll he ok and that surgeries are really safe now.

He’s gonna promise to love you no matter how the surgery goes.

He’ll keep you busy by having you pose for him or getting you to help him with whatever art he’s making.

Like with Vincent you need to get surgery on your nose to realign your nose. Bo is quick to tell that you’re very nervous.

He’ll keep reassuring you that you’ll be fine and that you shouldn’t worry. He might get gross about all of the injuries he’s endured and survived.

“Then this other time I got a 4 inch knife stuck in my hip and Vinny had to sew me up. It took a real long time to heal and it left a nasty scar.”

He’s gonna make sure you know that getting the surgery is better than your nose looking wonky and getting infected.

He knows when you’re stressing and he takes you away from whatever you’re doing and whatever chores he has then help you calm down. He’s not gonna let you sit around and be all worried. If you’re gonna be worried you’ll be worried in his arms.

Brahms

After a lot of trouble with one of your knee joints you find out that you have a cyst there and you have to get it removed with surgery.

When you tell Brahms about this and he sees how worried you get he gets really worried about it too.

Brahms never got the medical attention he needed and he wishes he could have gone back and gotten it so he’s not letting you back out of this. He’ll be sure to be sensitive and kind about it though. He doesn’t want to scare you further.

He’ll be so supportive. He’ll pull out old medical books and talk to you about how far medical advancements have come. If this just makes it worse he’ll stop talking about it.

He’s gonna help around the house with chores to his best ability to take stress off of you (ignore the fact that he’ll probably not to a great job and you’ll have to help clean up after him).

Eddie Munson

You find out that you need to get surgery on your hand to remove something blocking joints in your fingers. When you go to Eddie and he sees how stressed you are about it he’ll get stressed too.

“Hey Y/N come on don’t worry sweetheart you’ll be fine I promise.”

He’ll he extra nice to you while you deal with this. You wanna braid his hair? Go ahead he’s already sitting for you. You wanna watch some dumb romance movie with him? He’s grabbing the popcorn.

Constant reassurance that you’ll be ok with him. “ I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you. It’s a 1/10000 chance that you get hurt ok darling?”

Will check in a lot more often. If the two of you don’t see each other one day he always calls you at night so you two can talk. But if he doesn’t get to see you that day the calls will be a lot longer and me might call a few extra times in the day just to make sure you’re ok. If you need him to come over he’s already on his way.

168 notes · View notes

demonslayedher · 1 year

Text

Things that went through my mind while watching this episode:

--Tanjiro had told Inosuke that the reason Zenitsu didn't pull out his sword on him was because it was against Corp rules. Evidently, Zenitsu doesn't actually care about this rule.

--I know there is discomfort with Zenitsu chasing Nezuko around the room and pointing out that it wasn't in the manga, but like... the basis for it was there. ZenStans (and I am one) point out how the anime made him seem worse for how they added this chase scene and took out the later scene of Zenitsu talking to Nezuko in her box, but... the conniptions and uncomfortable attitudes towards girls do come straight from the manga. Zenitsu still had a lot of growing up to do (and given material that came out after the manga ended, in some ways, he never does). On first watch, I really wasn't being won to the ZenNezu cause... heck, I don't think it was until after the manga ended that I grew positive feelings toward ZenNezu instead of just "sigh, OK." (If you follow my blog, you've probably guessed by now that I do truly enjoy shipping ZenNezu now.)

--I also didn't have positive feelings for Inosuke yet at this point, I found him hopelessly unreasonable. But me now? LOOK AT THE BABY, BEING MOTHERED BY A HUMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OVER 14 YEARS.

--In my digest of the last episode I said we get the joy of watching Inosuke explore his humanity, and that makes me see his perplexity at "live proudly" in a very different light. He has joined a pack (the Corp) and he wants to be a part of it, as beasts do, which makes him receptive to the rules. Oh, no swords? My bad, got it. Live proudly? What does that mean? Precisely, how? What's that weak old lady's position to be able to say this? Inosuke was so willing to go along and learn all these new things that he DID put on the full Corp uniform when he received it (but, according to the fanbook, didn't like how it felt and then demolished the top half). Look at how quick he changed into new clothes after Hisa-san brought him some new ones. He accepted it so quickly, whether just for a natural inclination to obedience or because it did feel nice on his sensitive skin.

--I wish the good-luck sparks lit against their backs would had been an ongoing thing. I love that touch so much.

--"Go bu-un wo" (good luck in battle) in a phrase that goes through my head a lot, and there are LINE messenger stickers of Hisa-san saying that as she makes sparks. A friend sent it to me before my first Nerd Test attempt and I felt very encouraged (and then I failed that time, but that's besides the point. I passed the following year).

--It's not stated anywhere how long they stayed at that mansion having a peaceful recovery (as peaceful as Zenitsu and Inosuke can allow it to be), but... this may be some of the longest Zenitsu has had people around willing to just chill out with him (as Kaigaku was never willing), the longest rest Tanjiro has gotten ever since his family was killed, and the longest Inosuke can ever remember sleeping under a roof.

--Watching that Corp member get sucked back into the trees as he screams for help? Legit terrifying. I love that they still show Tanjiro feeling scared enough for his hands to shake. Also, as an animation detail, Tanjiro does so much thinking with his eyes and the CG works so well to show this (it's like he's got some Rengoku in him).

--Inosuke just... stabbing spiders

--Murata!!! --Murata... I... I looked, but I didn't find relevant content in my blog to reblog in honor of his appearance.

--But, uh, look, Murata! It's the boy you took care of at the Final Selection! He's a Pillar now!

--AND THERE'S MY QUEEN NEXT TO HIM

--I don't know how long the Kamaboko boys were in recovery, but long enough for Kanao to do laps on them in jumping ranks through the Corp. She's exceeded Murata already (she was a Tsumonoto by this point, according to the first fanbook).

--Sorry, Murata... you're doing your best, I know. And I'm really sorry you had to witness your comrades killing each other. Murata deserves more credit for how much he's been through over the years, and how much he's struggled through with meager innate talent. Murata is proof of the merits of hard work. Let it be remembered that even when he had permission to give up on Himejima's strength training, he stuck it out (not likely successfully, but he deserves credit for effort).

--Love the sequences of the spider family throughout the forest, they set up Mother Spider to be a truly terrifying presence by coming last after Father being forebodingly large and still, Brother peeking at you, and Sister kicking her legs in time to the creepy music while she sits up in the tree tops.

--And later on we get our first Rui appearance. Forget wanting to "eat people and get stronger" as demons are tasked with, or even looking for the Blue Spider Lily, Rui truly does just want to play house and be left alone. Special treatment from Muzan, indeed.

--I hope the animators had fun on Spatial Awareness, zooming in to his hand at the end like he's grabbed hold of Mother Spider? Excellent.

--I HAD NO RECOLLECTION OF ZENITSU AND CHUNTARO DOING THE TAISHO SECRET TOGETHER. UKOGI LOVES RICE??? WHAT WASTED POTENTIAL FOR BIRD FIC.

#KnY Rewatch #my art #Kamado tanjiro #kamado tanjirou #murata #hashibira inosuke #howa howa

55 notes · View notes

bteezxyewriter12 · 2 years

Text

1K Follower Special Fic!

I made the 1k milestone for followers this week and I am so happy. Thank you so much to everyone who followed my small blog of fanfics. I truly appreciate everyone who reads and enjoys my fics. Thank you so much for the likes, reblogs and comments as well.

As a celebration for 1k, I have a fic that is a multi fandom one that includes my two biases. Yoongi from BTS and Hongjoong from ATEEZ.

I hope you all enjoy it and again thank you so much 💕💕💕

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Jagi

Pairing- Yoong x Named Reader x Hongjoong

Word count- 6.4k

Includes- Anxiety, Yoongi and Hongjoong are the best boyfriends ever, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, Cockwarming sex?, sex, threesome, double vaginal penetration, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana

@tannie13 @itstyraaxx @yeosxxx

@seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe

@wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Prompt Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Hongjoong Masterlist

J POV

I pace around the living room freaking out

I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm terrified

I hate talking to people especially potential employers

I always bomb interviews

Always say the wrong thing

Make a fool of myself

But I need to do this

I can't keep relying on my partners for everything

Min, Yoongi and Kim, Hongjoong

Famous idols

Yoongi, a rapper for BTS and Hongjoong, rapper and leader of ATEEZ

How we are all together was a weird accident but we all decided to be in one relationship

We all love each other and we've been together for three years

It started with both of them just wanting me but over time we all fell in love with each other, all of us being together sexually too

And a year ago we all moved in together

With Yoongi and Hongjoong paying for everything

It gives me anxiety that I am not contributing monetarily

I do all of the housework except cooking because I suck at it, although I'm trying to learn

I have been trying to find a job since we moved in together but I keep bombing every interview I go on and my anxiety increases every time

This time is no different

"Jagi sit down", Hongjoong asks, watching me from his spot on the couch

"I can't", I say, my feet continuing to walk around

"You'll do fine jagi. I know you will"

"Joongie I fuck up every single one I've been on. I'm going to fuck this one up too"

"No you're not", he insists

I shake my head

He doesn't get it

He's talented and has an amazing job doing what he loves

Yoongi too, he's a gifted musician, lyricist, rapper and producer

Their careers come naturally to them

They love what they do

And me?

I'm a college dropout with no talent for anything except fucking things up

I can't even get a stupid secretary job which is what the interview tomorrow is for

My sixth secretary interview

I feel hot and I'm sweating in my PJs as I walk around

The door opens, then closes, Yoongi walking into the living room

"Jagi? What's wrong?", he asks immediately

He always knows when something is wrong

"She's very anxious about her interview tomorrow", Hongjoong explains, "I keep telling her she'll be fine but she's worried"

Yoongi looks at me, "Baby you'll be fine. You can do this"

I shake my head, "I can't. I'll mess it up and then I won't get hired and won't be able to pay for anything. I won't be able to help you both and you'll have to keep giving me money and you'll get tired of doing that and think that I'm only with you for money but I'm not, I love you both so much, more than anything in the world", I ramble, tears streaming down my face, my heart pounding, not enough air in my lungs

"Joanne-", Hongjoong starts

"You'll both think I'm a slutty gold digger and I don't want you to think I don't love you. I love you so much Yoongi, you're my everything. And Joongie, I love you more than anything. You're my everything also and I can't be without either of you. You'll both leave me and I'll be miserable without you. I can't live without either of you."

"Jagi!", Yoongi says loudly, stopping me from pacing, hugging me tightly, "Stop jagi"

I feel Hongjoong come behind me, hugging me too, "Don't think those things jagi. We both love you. That won't change. I love you so much, I can't live without you either"

"Me too baby. I love you more than I ever loved anything and I can't live without you either. You're my life jagi and you're Hongjoong's life too. We'll never give you up"

"We know you're not a golddigger or a slut baby. I have never thought that about you and I know Yoongi hasn't either. We know you're not a moocher and the constant worry you have about that shows us your not", Hongjoong says softly

"Ok?", Yoongi asks

I just nod but I'm still anxious

"Ok jagi. I'll make you some tea and start dinner. Hongjoong will stay with you ok?", Yoongi smiles

"Ok", I say in a small voice

Yoongi kisses my forehead, then goes to the kitchen while Hongjoong takes my hand, leading me to the couch

He lays down then pulls me on top of him

I lay my head on his shoulder, burying face in his neck and inhaling what can only be described as Hongjoong smell

They both have different smells to their skin and I absolutely love both

Hongjoong's arms wrap around me, one hand starting to play with my hair

"I know you like that baby girl", he whispers, kissing my forehead

I nod, cuddling into him more

"It's ok jagi", he says softly, giving my forehead soft kisses, "Everything is gonna be ok"

"Joongie"

"Shh my baby, it's ok. I have you baby", he says, "I love you so much Jo. So much"

"I love you", I answer

He gives me another kiss, cuddling me tightly, "My jagi. The best girl in the world. My everything"

I let his voice, his words calm me down

The worry doesn't leave but I'm not panicking right now

"Here jagi", Yoongi says, coming back to the living room with a mug, "Tea just how you like it"

He sets the mug on the table while Hongjoong helps me sit up

"Thanks naekkeo"

"Anything for my girl", Yoongi answers, leaning down and giving me a quick kiss

Taking the mug, I take a sip of the hot tea, the warmth filling my body

"So good naekkeo", I tell Yoongi

He smiles, "Good baby. I'm glad you like it. I'm making dinner and it'll be ready in a while ok?"

I nod, feeling bad that he has to cook

Again

"Need help?", Hongjoong asks

Yoongi shakes his head, petting Hongjoong's hair, "Nah I'm good. Stay with baby and keep her calm"

Hongjoong nods, "I can do that"

"Good. I'll be back", Yoongi says, then makes his way to the kitchen

Hongjoong holds my hand and plays with my hair while I drink the tea Yoongi made me

They're such good boyfriends and I suck

I don't deserve them

That thought brings back the anxiety and my hand shakes as I drink more tea

"Jagi?", Hongjoong asks concerned, "You ok baby?"

I force a smile, "Yeah Joongie. I'm ok"

I know he doesn't believe me

He knows me, he knows when I'm upset, he knows when something is wrong

They both do

I can't hide anything from them

And I shouldn't be hiding anything

They don't hide anything from me

Just another way that I suck as a girlfriend

Sometimes I wonder if they'll be better off without me

They love each other, they can be together and be fine

All I do is take from them, they don't need me

That thought hurts because it's so true

They don't need me

I can't do a lot of things they can do

And they can do those things for each other without me

I'm just like a leech, a pest

I should just leave

Let them be happy without having to worry about taking care of me

It hurts because I love them so much but seriously, how long can this keep going?

I try to hold back the tears as I finish my tea but I feel some fall anyway

"Jagi, what's wrong? Why are you crying?", Hongjoong asks, alarmed

I just shake my head, "It's nothing Joongie"

"Baby", he starts

"Please Joongie"

He knows I'm asking him to drop it

That I don't want to talk right now

"Ok jagi. But just for now ok?"

I nod

I'll deal with it later

"Come here baby", he says and I immediately move into his arms

He lays us down, holding me tightly and it feels so good, sending all kinds of emotions through me and I start crying again

"Oh my baby", he speaks gently, "Baby whatever is bothering you, it'll be ok. I love you. Yoongi loves you. You're our girl. Mine. His. And we're yours. As long as we're together we'll be fine"

I want that to be true so badly but I just don't know

Hongjoong rubs my back, giving me more kisses, helping me relax

I feel so tired, sleepy and I close my eyes for a few seconds

When I open them again, Hongjoong tells me, "It's ok jagi. You can sleep. I'm here, I'm not letting you go"

I nod, feeling so secure

For now anyway

Closing my eyes, I bury my face in Hongjoong's neck, sleep taking over

🐱🦁🐱🦁🐱🦁🐱🦁

"Jagi. Joong", I hear Yoongi call us softly, his hand rubbing my back

I slowly open my eyes, Yoongi's soft smile in my vision

I can't help but smile too

His and Hongjoong's smiles make me happy

"Food is ready jagi"

I nod, feeling Hongjoong kiss my hair

I sit up, taking his hand and help him up too

"C'mon baby", he tells me, standing up, taking my hand

Hongjoong leads me to the dining room where Yoongi already has set out the food

Seeing the food out brings back my anxiety

Yoongi cooked when I should have

He works all day and he has to cook because I was losing it

God I'm so useless

It just reinforces that they'd be better off without me

I sit down in between them, staring at the food

"Jagi", Yoongi says, running his fingers in my hair and moving it behind my ear, "What's wrong jagi?"

"Nnn...nothing", I answer forcing a smile

"Jagi, talk to us", Hongjoong urges

"I just...I think....I think you'd both be better off without me"

"What?", Yoongi shrieks while Hongjoong yells ,"No!"

"Jagi, no", Yoongi says firmly, Hongjoong agreeing

"Why would you say that?", Hongjoong asks, "Yoongi and I love you to death baby. You know you're our everything"

"But I'm such a burden", I argue, "I'm useless. Yoongi just got home from work and he had to cook because I was losing it like a toddler."

"You were not losing it", Yoongi insists, "You were having anxiety. I know you can't control it. I know what it feels like baby. I know how how you felt. That's why I took over. Why I made you tea and cooked and told Joong to stay with you. Although I knew he wouldn't leave your side anyway"

"Never jagi", Hongjoong answers, "You're not useless baby. You never were and never will be"

I don't know how they can be so sure of it

I'm home all day

How does that not bother them?

"We know you get anxious whenever you have a job interview", Hongjoong adds

Yeah it's like clockwork

I hate that it's almost expected to happen

"But jagi, you know you don't have to work baby", Yoongi says

Is he insane?

"Yes I-"

"No jagi. You do everything here. You take care of the house. You clean everything, every room all the time. You wash our clothes, fold them and put them away. You make sure the bills are paid on time", Yoongi explains

"You do errands for us, for the house. You go food shopping. You take care of everything the house needs. Take care of us. Anything we could possibly need you always already have it waiting for us.", Hongjoong continues

"But I can't cook. That's a huge thing that takes time", I argue

It's not fair for either of them to work all day and then have to cook because I suck at it

"It doesn't matter jagi. I like cooking", Yoongi insists, "Besides, you always make sure there's food that we both like here. You get our favorite snacks, drinks, fruits"

"Yeah. And when one of us cooks you always get ingredients for our favorite things to eat", Hongjoong adds, "And you make simple things, like sandwiches or soup or waffles"

"Those are from the freezer!", I protest

They can't seriously think warming up frozen waffles is cooking

"Doesn't matter. You still do it for us", Hongjoong says simply

"And you make us our coffee all the time. You know the different kinds we like and exactly how we like it. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten up in the morning after zero sleep and how happy it makes me when I walk in the kitchen and you immediately hand me my coffee", Yoongi praises

"Me too. Seriously baby, that's like heaven for an overworked idol", Hongjoong agrees

I don't understand

They're happy with me doing things that most girlfriends or wives do?

"You do a lot here jagi. That's why it's not a big deal to pay for everything or to give you money. You do a lot of work. Taking care of the house is not easy. Or taking care of me for that matter. I know I can be difficult", Yoongi says

"Me too jagi. And I know that both of us stay locked in our studios sometimes and you're all alone here. But you never complain. Instead you encourage us even though it has to be lonely sometimes"

I shake my head, "It's not lonely. Yeah I'm alone sometimes but I know you'll both always come back home"

"You don't know it jagi but it's not home without you", Yoongi says quietly

"I agree", Hongjoong adds, "It's just a house if you're not here. You are why it's home for us"

My emotions run over me, so touched and happy at their words

I feel so loved, tears pricking my eyes

"So please jagi, don't worry about tomorrow. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. It's not the end of the world ok?", Hongjoong tells me with Yoongi nodded

I just nod, feeling better for now

"Good jagi", Yoongi smile, pull me in for a kiss

His kiss feels so good, I love them so much

When Yoongi and I break away, I turn to Hongjoong, kissing him too

His kisses are amazing too

"Can we eat now jagi?", Yoongi asks

I giggle nodding and we dig in

🐱🦁🐱🦁🐱🦁🐱🦁

After I finish washing and putting the dishes away, Yoongi takes my hand, leading me to our room

Hongjoong is already waiting for us on the bed, holding his hand out to me

I take it and sit on the bed, his lips against mine in a sweet kiss

"We're gonna take care of you", Hongjoong whispers in my ear, then kisses my cheek

"Good care of you", Yoongi agrees, moving behind me

Yoongi pulls my shirt up and off, his lips against the back of my neck while Hongjoong pulls my pants and panties off

Then Hongjoong's lips are on the side of my neck, sucking on my skin and it feels so good

Yoongi reaches around me, his pretty hands groping my boobs, his fingers flicking my nipples

"Fuck", I moan softly

Hongjoong's kisses start moving down my chest, Yoongi leaning me back against him

Hongjoong's mouth moves around one of my nipples, sucking softly on it and I gasp in pleasure

Yoongi tilts my head back in his arm, his lips against mine, kissing me deeply

My god, his kiss is perfect

Both of them slide their hands down my body, their fingers lighting up every nerve

Yoongi slides his inside my pussy, Hongjoong's stopping at my clit

They both move at the same time, Hongjoong's fingers rubbing circular motions on my clit while Yoongi moves his fingers in and out of me, his fingers pressing on my spot

Massive pleasure takes over my body

God they're so good with their fingers

Hell with everything- their fingers, mouths and cocks

Hongjoong's fingers move inside with Yoongi's, his thumb staying on my clit

Jesus Christ

They move their fingers at the same time, both making sure they hit my spot, Hongjoong playing with my clit while he sucks my nipple and Yoongi kisses me

Fucking heaven

"Good jagi?", Hongjoong asks

I nod rapidly

"Our pussy is creaming our fingers so fucking good", he replies

Jesus Christ

They told me that my cunt gets really creamy even before I cum and that they love it so much

They're so fucking hot

Their fingers bring me so close, my body shaking with the impending orgasm

"Be our good girl", Yoongi whispers in my ear, "Cum for us"

His mouth moves over mine as I moan loudly, releasing on their fingers, my body in massive pleasure

"Mmm good girl", Hongjoong praises

They both pull their fingers out at the same time

I open my eyes just in time to see both of them suck on their fingers

"Jesus", I whimper

"Tastes good jagi", Hongjoong smirks

"So good", Yoongi agrees

Hongjoong moves off the bed, pulling me to the edge as he gets on his knees

Yoongi moves my head on his shoulder, lips against mine, tongue in my mouth as he opens my legs for Hongjoong

Hongjoong's tongue is immediately on me, licking up and down my cunt fast

My body shivers and I moan in pleasure, Yoongi's tongue playing with mine

Yoongi's hand moves to my breasts playing and pinching my nipples to give me even more pleasure

I can't fucking think, it feels so good

Hongjoong's tongue is working me so good, sliding between my lips, flicking my clit, shoving his tongue inside me

All the while he's moaning like he's being blown

My hand moves in the blonde side of his hair, pulling hard

His mouth closes on my clit, sucking hard

I scream in Yoongi's mouth, intense pleasure hitting me hard

My hips start moving, getting closer

"What a good girl, fucking Hongjoong's face", Yoongi murmurs

"Like it Joong?", he asks

Hongjoong nods, moaning loudly, fucking his tongue inside me

"Keep going baby", Yoongi urges, "Cum for him. Then I'll eat your cunt too"

Fuck yes, oh god I want it

I don't want either of them to stop

Hongjoong plunges his tongue in again and I lose it

"Hongjoong!", I yell, clenching his tongue, coming all over it

He keeps his tongue inside me until I finish

Only then does he pull it out, swallow, then go back in

"So fucking good. Wish I could have your cum all day everyday"

Goddamn the things they both say drive me insane

Hongjoong pulls away, standing up, pulling me up and kissing me hard

I throw my arms around his neck kissing him hard

He lifts me up by my thighs, moving me

I feel another tongue in my cunt as he places me over Yoongi's mouth

Whimpering, I feel Yoongi's hands on my thighs, keeping them open over him as his tongue slides and roams every part of my pussy

Hongjoong stays in front of me, letting me squeeze him hard, my face buried in his neck

"Yoongi making you feel good jagi?", he whispers, his fingers running up and down my back

I nod

"Watch him baby"

I disentangle from him, looking down between my legs

Yoongi's eyes are closed as he continues to suck on my clit, pleasure on his face

He's actually getting pleasure from this

Both of them do

Hongjoong's mouth is back on my nipple, sucking hard, his hand playing with my other one

Yoongi's tongue slides inside and I clench hard on him, his loud moans reverberating up my body

"His tongue inside?", Hongjoong asks

I nod

Hongjoong knows what Yoongi likes just as well as I do

"Fuck his tongue jagi. You know that's his favorite"

It is

He asks me to do that all the time

"Is that what you want Yoongi?", he asks

Yoongi nods, his tongue still inside me

"Bounce baby", Hongjoong demands

I move up and down Yoongi's tongue, more pleasure flowing in me, my cunt throbbing around his tongue every time I take it inside

Hongjoong's hands move to my hips, moving me up and down faster, helping me fuck Yoongi's tongue

"Yoongi", I moan, his tongue feeling so fucking good

I'm so wet, all of it going on Yoongi's face

He likes it messy

The messier the better

He moves his tongue inside me the next time I take him in and I can't hold back, the pleasure out of this world

"Yoongi! Fuck Yoongi!", I cry, orgasming on him, squeezing Hongjoong's biceps hard

Yoongi's mouth moves around my hole, swallowing everything I give him, his hands grip my hips hard, while Hongjoong steps back

Yoongi rolls us, getting me on my back, his hands spreading my legs wider

His face is drenched in cream, a smirk on his face

"So sweet baby", he says, slowly licking up my pussy, "Best thing I ever ate"

Fuck

Hongjoong goes next to Yoongi, his tongue on my pussy too

"You ate it all", Hongjoong whines

"Of fucking course I did. I'm not wasting any of her cum. It's my fucking favorite", Yoongi replies

"I wanted some"

"You had her before and you ate it all too. You didn't leave me any", Yoongi argues

I can't believe I have two hot idols arguing over sharing my cum

It makes my brain implode

"We'll just make her cum again and share", Hongjoong suggests

Oh my fucking god

As soon as Hongjoong finishes talking, both of their tongues are on me, licking everywhere, pleasure exploding all over me

"Fucking hell!", I cry, pushing my head back into the pillow

One of their tongues slips inside my cunt, wiggling around as I clench on it while the other's mouth sucks on my clit

Blinding pleasure slams my body as both tongues ravish my pussy, switching places and swirling all over

"Baby's clit is throbbing so much", Yoongi moans while his tongue licks hard over and over

"Well baby's pussy is so tight, squeezing my tongue so hard", Hongjoong groans, his tongue shoved back inside

Lifting my head, my brain implodes seeing both their heads between my legs

As their tongues pleasure me, I'm getting closer and closer

Yoongi's mouth closes around my clit, sucking hard and faster, Hongjoong's circling my slit

I can't take it and I scream both their names coming and shaking from the bliss

"Yoongi! Hongjoong!"

Both tongues are now by my hole, licking, both of them moaning and telling me how good I taste

When I finish they pull away

Suddenly, I'm picked up and put on Hongjoong, my back to his chest, my head falling on his shoulder

"Open for me jagi", he whispers, my legs being pulled around his

I look down seeing Yoongi holding Hongjoong's cock, his other hand pushing me down on Hongjoong

Hongjoong's cock starts filling me, stretching me open as I slip down all the way

Once he's inside, I shudder against him, clenching around him

"Oh fuck baby girl. So tight. I love being in this pussy"

"Joongie", I moan

He turns his head to me, his lips against mine, tongue in my mouth, swallowing all my moans

Yoongi moves next to us, his mouth latching to my nipple, his fingers rubbing my clit

"Ohh", I cry in Hongjoong's mouth

"Mmmm feels good baby?", he asks, pulling away from my lips

I nod

"Yeah? Yoongi getting you off on my cock?"

"Yes", I whine, the pleasure increasing each second

Yoongi's fingers are like magic, moving so fast, so good

And his mouth, fuck, sucking on my nipples like he's never going to again

"You ..feel....", I pant, asking Hongjoong, my brain turning off, "Ggg.."

"Yes jagi", he whispers, his fingers gripping my hips hard, "You're making me feel so good baby. I love being wrapped up inside your pretty cunt. Feeling you drench me, choke my cock. Spasming around me so fucking well. You're perfect"

He kisses my cheek, one of his hands moving into my hair, playing with it

"Kiss", I manage to get out

He smiles widely, his lips against mine, tongue against mine

I fall into his kiss as the pleasure takes over

"Cum on Joong's cock jagi", Yoongi whispers

Oh god, fuck

I whimper, pleasure hitting me hard as I cum all over Hongjoong

"Hongjoong!", I yell

"Oh fuck yes. God fuck her cunt is so good. Fuck. So tight", Hongjoong yells, his fingers digging into my hips

When it's over, I can't think or move, just lay on Hongjoong

"Switch", Hongjoong says

He gets up, holding me, then gently puts me on Yoongi, again my back to his chest

"Baby", Yoongi whispers, kissing my shoulders

Hongjoong opens my legs, pulling me down and right onto Yoongi's cock

"Mmmm", I moan, feeling his thick cock nestled snug and tight inside me, his head against my spot

Yoongi is huge

Length wise he's the same as Hongjoong who is also big

But Yoongi is thicker, filling me with almost no room to spare

Every time he goes in, I throb on his length immediately which is what I'm doing now

"Fuck", he moans, "So good baby. So good"

I'm glad I can make both of them feel good

I don't like just taking from them, I want them to feel amazing too

I shiver on top of Yoongi when I feel Hongjoong's mouth sucking on my clit

Lifting my head, I look between my legs to find Hongjoong sucking away, moaning

"So fucking good baby", he whimpers, "Pretty clit throbbing against my lips. Love it"

I watch him tug and play, feeling myself drench Yoongi's cock

"So good baby", Yoongi whispers, in my ear, his fingers playing with my nipples, "Mmm you're getting so tight. Joong's tongue good?"

"Yes so good, god his mouth sucking...I can't", I cry, burying my hand in Hongjoong's hair

"If it's that good jagi then cream my cock"

"Yes Yoongi", I moan, doing just that in bliss

When I finish, Hongjoong moves his mouth to my stomach, kissing and licking my skin, making me shiver

He moves up my body, trailing kisses everywhere as he moves on top of me and Yoongi

Yoongi's hands move to my knees, spreading my legs more, giving me soft kisses on my shoulder

Hongjoong moves his lips to mine, kissing me deeply as his cock moves inside me with Yoongi's

I dig my fingers in his back at the extra stretch, filling me over the brim

God it feels so good, my cunt throbbing on both of them

I don't know how I take both of them at the same time but I do

It hurt the first time but we do it so often that it ceased to be painful

And instead is mind numbingly blissful

At the same time, they both start moving, thrusting into me

"Fuck!", I cry, my whole body in ecstacy

I don't know how they both manage to be in sync while both their cocks are in me but they are

I can feel both of their lengths dragging through my cunt, one head after the other hitting my spot, Yoongi's hands back on my breasts, Hongjoong's pelvis rubbing against my clit

I can't think, all I can feel is pleasure as I'm blinded by it

"Look at our good girl Yoongi. Taking both our cocks inside her perfect pussy"

"Mmm yeah. Such a good cunt for us. And so fucking wet"

"Yeah. My whole lap is drenched"

"Mine too. And sucking me back in...god she's hungry for cock"

Hongjoong nods, kissing my neck, "Doing such a good job of swallowing our cocks over and over. So greedy"

I love listening to them talk about me like I'm not here

Some girls hate it but not me

I like hearing how I can please them

"This pussy is ready to cum again. Do you feel it?", Hongjoong asks Yoongi

"I feel it. Any second now"

Fuck he's right

Hongjoong's pelvis rubs against my clit right as his head smashes my spot, starting my orgasm

Then Yoongi's head hits my spot right after Hongjoong pulls back and I fall into ecstasy

I can't think, just feel, my whole body in pleasure, my back arching

My boys fuck me through it, Yoongi's hands all over my nipples, Hongjoong's tongue licking my neck, Yoongi's lips against mine

When it's over, I suck in air fulls of air, trying to breathe, my body slick with sweat

I'm moved again, flipped over so I'm laying against Yoongi, my chest to his and I just go with it, my head full of nothing

"Up a little jagi", Hongjoong asks and I lift my hips up

Yoongi thrusts up, burying himself inside me and I moan when he rubs against my spot

How do I still want to be fucked stupid?

Still want to cum?

I should be oversensitive but I'm not

And my boys still have to cum too

Maybe that's why I'm still able to go

Because I want them to feel as amazing as they're making me feel

Hongjoong slips back inside, a whimper leaving my mouth from how utterly stuffed with cock I am

I feel Yoongi in my belly, my slit straining around the thickest part of Hongjoong

Yoongi pulls me to him, his lips crashing against mine

Hongjoong leans over my back, his hands on either side of Yoongi's head, his mouth on my shoulder blade, his kisses everywhere

Hongjoong starts moving, fucking into me while Yoongi stays buried inside

"God baby, so fucking extra tight. Feel so good", Hongjoong whines, "Making such a big pretty creamy mess all over our dicks"

I moan in Yoongi's mouth from Hongjoong's words

Yoongi moves his fingers in my hair as he kisses me, his hips slowly thrusting up, adding to the bliss

Hongjoong's constant thrusts move me along Yoongi's pelvis, again rubbing my clit against his skin

That spike in pleasure makes me break the kiss with Yoongi, moaning so loudly

"Fuck, Joong, you should see our baby", Yoongi moans

My brain is so sluggish, my vision blurry and all I feel is pleasure

"Why? How does she look?", Hongjoong pants, bring me close

"She's fucked dumb", Yoongi responds, his hand softly touching my cheek, "Glazed eyes, mouth open, so dazed. So fucking beautiful"

"Fuck", Hongjoong moans, going faster and harder

"I...I....I can't....I...", I cry, tears falling down my cheeks, waiting desperately for my orgasm

God I want it so bad

"Don't cry baby, you're so close", Yoongi murmurs

"Yeah throbbing so fucking hard baby girl", Hongjoong moans

"So good, she's gonna milk us for all our cum. Right jagi?", Yoongi asks

"Yes!", I cry, "Please yes! Wanna cum, please please please"

"You will baby. Right now", Hongjoong whispers

They both thrust in at the same time and stars burst in my vision as complete ecstasy hitting me like a fucking tidal wave

"Yes! Hongjoong!", I scream, my nails digging into Yoongi's chest, my other hand grabbing, Hongjoong's thigh and digging my nails there too, "Yoongi! Yoongi"

I hear them yelling my name, cocks throbbing, Yoongi's nails digging in my arms, Hongjoong biting my shoulder and suddenly I feel a burst of hot cum inside me

A lot of it

They both orgasmed at the same time, filling me up to the brim and over, cum leaking all over my thighs

And I fulfill my promise, milking their cocks with my pussy as hard as I can, the three of us orgasming together

It's fucking amazing

When it's finally over, I collapse on top of Yoongi

I can't move, body limp, that orgasm taking everything out of me

I feel both of them pull out, Hongjoong laying next to me and Yoongi

"Jagi?", Yoongi calls

"Hmm", I answer, ready to fall asleep right now

I hear Hongjoong and Yoongi talking to each other but I can't make out what it is

My head is empty and fuzzy and it feels nice

Yoongi's fingers move to my back, softly running up and down, my skin trembling under his touch

He whispers, "Jagi I love you so much"

I cuddle into him more, holding on tightly

"I love you Yoongi"

"It's ready", I hear Hongjoong say

Did he leave?

I didn't even hear him get up from the bed

Yoongi sits up with me, "Jagi, go with Joong ok? I'll be right there"

Hongjoong comes next to me and I let go of Yoongi going into his arms, in his lap

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I lay my head on his shoulder, my face in my neck and eyes closed

He stands, picking me up and walking somewhere

I'm so out of it, I don't know where he's going

I only know where I am when I feel him sit and warm water surrounds us

"Hmmm?", I whisper, cracking my eyes open

Bathroom

Tub with warm water

Hongjoong holding me

Now all I need is Yoongi with us and it's perfect

As if he knew I wanted him, Yoongi comes in the bathroom, getting in the huge tub with me and Hongjoong

Perfect

I hold my hand out to Yoongi and he takes it, kissing the back of my hand, coming closer to us

"Here jagi", Hongjoong says, turning me around so my back is to his chest

Yoongi takes my legs, putting them over his while I lay back on Hongjoong

Yoongi runs his fingers on my legs, up to my thighs, massaging my muscles there while Hongjoong does the same, massaging my arms and shoulders

My god it feels so fucking good on my aching body

I close my eyes feeling like I'm floating

Hands move up and down my body, rubbing all over, relaxing me

They are the best boyfriends in the world

Always taking care of me

I don't deserve them

"Jagi, there's something we wanted to talk to you about", Hongjoong says

"Hmmm? What is it?", I ask, becoming more alert

They want to talk to me, the least I can do is be awake

Sitting up more against Hongjoong, I open my eyes, focusing on him and Yoongi

"We were talking when you took your nap before dinner", Yoongi starts

"And we decided that we don't want you to work and want to ask if you could just not go to the interview", Hongjoong finishes

I gape at them

Are they insane

"But..."

"You do everything here jagi, that's work enough. Joong and I don't care about money baby. We like taking care of you"

I shake my head, "No"

"Baby it would be different if you wanted to work ok?", Hongjoong says, "If this job is something you really wanted we would never stop you. But you're just getting it to pay for things that you don't need to pay for. You're just getting it because you think you have to when you don't"

Of course I need it

I need a job

"Everyone works", I argue

"Because they have to. You don't", Yoongi says, "And we don't want you to work a job you don't like or are miserable at"

"I can't do anything else. I don't have any degrees"

They look at each other, nodding

"Well we want you to go back to school. If you want to", Hongjoong says

I gape at them

Are they serious?

"If you want a job baby we want you to have one that you want. A dream career like we have. Not just any job to make money. We don't need money. We have it. You don't need money, you have it", Yoongi explains

"We want you to be happy with your career like we are. You can do anything baby and we will always support you", Hongjoong continues, "And if you need to go to school for your dream job then that's fine. You can take as long as you need and Yoongi and I will pay for it"

Are they seriously offering to pay for me to go to school?

I can't do that

I can't take that money

"We want to", Yoongi insists, "I can see your face baby. You're going to refuse us paying for it. But you're our life jagi and money doesn't matter when it comes to you. Nothing matters compared to you"

Hongjoong nods in agreement

"And if you want to stay home, be a stay at home girlfriend, then that's fine too. Whatever you want ", Yoongi adds

I'm so shocked at how they're really fine with anything I want and don't think I'm a golddigger or taking advantage of them like I thought they might

They love me as much as I love them

"Take your time, think about it and decide what you want. There isn't any rush jagi", Hongjoong finishes, "So please baby, don't go tomorrow ok?"

I think about it and I nod

I can do what they're asking

I'm not sure about permanently staying at home but I can for now until I figure out what I want

They want the best for me and are willing to give me the best

The least I can do is do what they're asking

"Ok"

They smile on what seems like relief and I am so grateful to have them

"Thank you naekkeo", I say hugging Yoongi tightly, "I love you so much"

"I love you so much jagi", he whispers, kissing me softly

After Yoongi's kiss, I hug Hongjoong just as tightly, "Thank you baby. I love you so much"

"I love you so much too jagi. Don't forget ok?"

"I won't", I answer, kissing his soft lips

We stay in the bath for awhile, until the water gets cold

Then they help me out, completely pampering me as they dry my body and hair, combing it

Yoongi carries me back to the bed, new sheets and blankets on it, laying me on it

That's what he was doing before he came in the tub

"Time for sleep jagi?", Yoongi asks, yawning

I nod

I know both of them are so tired

"Yeah naekkeo. You sleeping too baby?"

Hongjoong nods, "Yeah jagi"

Yoongi gets into bed next to me while Hongjoong gets the blanket over us

He goes to the door, shutting the light then getting in bed in my other side

I lay on my back, both of them immediately turning to me, cuddling into me, holding me tightly

Their heads are on each of my shoulders and I play with both of their hair, running my fingers through their soft strands

They must have been exhausted because a minute doesn't even pay before their breathing evenly

I press a kiss to the top of Yoongi's head, then to Hongjoong's

"I love you Yoonie. I love you Joongie"

Closing my eyes I'm finally calm in the arms of the two men I love with all my heart

83 notes · View notes

aftonpeoplepleaser · 3 months

Text

Having a service animal sucks!

Yup, I said it. While the pros do not outweigh the cons it's pretty close. I do not regret my service animal. I am the first to admit I am not much of a dog person as an adult but that is because our working relationship has ruined that for me. Here are just some of the stressors I have to deal with.

"Where is his registration" While people now do not often ask this ridiculous question outright there are several thousand ways in a day someone makes the implication. This alone is nothing compared to other issues.

Ignorance. That should have been number one but we are here now. The majority of people I encounter daily have absolutely no clue what a working dog is. They may have a slight idea in their mind but refuse to do any work to inform themselves. They do not consider distracting, antagonizing, or interacting with my service animal as a big deal as me correcting them. It is impossible to safely transport my service animal out of the building at the end of the day without harassment.

Constant Corrections. Every day I am constantly correcting people when it comes to interacting with my service animal and sometimes I cave and just let it happen because I am just too drained to keep having these interactions. I work at an elementary school where I get as many as 50 kids calling out to my service animal per minute on a bad day. One child even stood there barking less than two feet from her face. Since this incident, I have put an e-collar on her in case of emergencies because SHE IS STILL AN ANIMAL.

Washing out. Izzy has yet to reach her first year as a qualified service animal and in this ridiculously high-stress environment I've put her in I am terrified she will become washed out and I will have to start over again. People grossly underestimate the seriousness of this and the risk they put us both in with their behavior and blatant disregard for our personal space and safety as well as the safety of the children in their care. This will result in unstable income for myself and my family and would put an intense strain on the relationships in my home.

Constant discomfort. I know my rights and responsibilities as a handler but very few others do. This means I have to ask for permission to do things I do not need permission for. I have to deal with people harassing my working animal knowing full well it is illegal to do so with minimal protection and virtually no recourse. I still pay to have her live with me because it is not worth the fight. And when you have ANY type of job around people with a working animal every person that does not like dogs will do everything they can to make sure you know it.

Every day I am correcting, pleading, and and avoiding. It seems like having Izzy at work is doing the very thing that makes me need her at work. It started with a gang of kids screaming at me and has turned into a gang of kids screaming at me constantly. The adults could help in this situation but for some reason, they don't sense the urgency. I wanted to be able to get through a week without falling to pieces and clinging to anyone I could for support and now I am ending my days crying in my classroom because I am just so exhausted. I don't want to give up because I have been fighting for this for so long but where I live just isn't ready for allowing people with service animals to achieve some sense of normalcy in the workplace. I always wondered why people with service animals weren't visible in the workforce and I see why.

Perspective for those who don't get it

Imagine I am walking through the bus loop and your student is creaming at my service animal. My animal senses my discomfort, mistakes my actions, and begins to task by applying pressure to my legs. Now I trip over her and have hurt myself. I am hurt and confused my kindergarten class is scared, worried, and confused, and now my service animal is so heavily overstimulated from such constant chaos all day that she goes on the offensive thinking that I am somehow in danger. Now your child has been attacked and I have lost my livelihood. Both of our lives are now completely altered. Their family will suffer, my family will suffer, Izzy will suffer, and you could have prevented this by informing your student about the service animal you knew existed in that space and the appropriate behavior when they are sharing a space with her.

Service animals are still animals, not robots. Working animals fail all the time and it is almost never their fault but due to outside factors out of their control. I am so tired but I don't wanna give up. I wanna give up.

#service dog handler #service dog #service animal #mental health #dpt #teaching

6 notes · View notes

malscare · 8 months

Text

like at the risk of making someone else's grief and depression about me...

without giving a lot of details, someone i've looked up to since i was little tried to commit suicide this week, or came really close. she's a freelancer like me, has had legitimate and consistent animation work up until the strike, and she's someone i've always kind of worked hard to be like, as much as i'd distance myself from my family during reunions and stuff. and she's said she can't picture a future for herself either, the idea of never earning enough to own a place of her own, or go on vacation, and like the only thing i've been able to think of at all these last few months, this last year is like. im never going to be able to move out of my parents house or have my own car, i'm going to be trapped here until i die, and like im not trying to compare it at all but like it's the similar thought processes and the soul crushing nature of art careers and capitalism, and i know our situations aren't exactly the same. but she's one of the hardest working people i've ever known, her work ethic is leagues above mine, if she's not enough, then what am i? should *i* just kill myself? i have even less to show for my life, i can't contribute anything worthwhile in art or content or conversation, and i've felt aimless since i was a kid and always figured it would fall into place and work itself out in time but it hasnt. the only thing im good at, the only thing i banked my degree on feels like a difficult chore most of the time, i've been stiffed out of credit by my idols, and i have no idea what i'm going to do when i get booted off my dad's insurance next year if i'm going at the rate i am. matt's been an angel and helping me try to find jobs but it's terrifying and soul sucking, i don't have anything to look forward to and the only concrete thing i have to live for is my tarantulas bc they're mine and they live for like 20 years and my family won't take care of them like i do. if this is it and it doesn't get better, if there's no hope even for the people who are better than me, why should i continue living if i'm just wasting everyone's time including my own???

8 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 3 months

Note

Hey! Sorry, sam person from last ask lol.

But I am with the age group of 10-13, therapy is not a option and I'm terrified of becoming a teenager. I'm already experiencing body image issues and such, and ALOT of other stuff.

Somthing that my parents do is since everyone in this house has known from a

VERY

Young age, they are very open abt sëx and talk abt it alot, especially abt what they do to each other and it makes me very uncomfortable, I've told them but then they make fun of me for being sensitive, and yeah I am.

I want to have a serious convo with my dad abt putting me in school. But I'm terrified of actually doing it. I feel like I'll be reprimanded and made fun of, cause they've put alot into homeschooled and such. But I feel like it's my best bet. My literal best friend is my sister. Ik your best friend's are family but yk. Its not the same.

omg respectfully you are SO YOUNG. holy crap.

okay, let me give you some big sister advice.

i remember being your age range, and puberty did suck at first and was very jarring to go thru. so i get the whole "being terrified" aspect. also, who wants to grow up? no one.

so the body imagine issues, i 1000% understand and know where you are coming from. i started puberty at 10 and it was a wild ride for me to start almost immediately developing. the good thing to know that while your body is changing, so is your mind. and while you might not like what your body looks like right now, just know that it's gonna keep changing. and that can be a good thing. there might be parts of yourself that you hate rn that you're gonna love when you get older. i think your best bet, and something i wasn't really ever taught, is to be kind to yourself. you are not the first person ever experience what you're going thru. and even tho change can be scary, it's not something to fear itself. change is necessary too. but one day, the change you are experiencing now will feel normal, and you won't even remember what you currently feel like. it might take a while to get to that point, but suddenly you'll feel settled, and you won't even noticed when that shift occurred.

also, as someone who is significantly older than you, i can confidently say that being a teenager was a lot of fun. hindsight is 20/20, so part of that does come into play. but seriously, growing up can be fun, even if it's a bit scary. being a teenager was dramatic and dumb and silly, and honestly there has been no other time in my life like that. i can look back fondly on that time now, and also admit there were moments that sucked. but that is life. don't be afraid of getting older - you can't stop it even if you wanted to. plus, there are so many good things that come with getting older. knowledge being the most important one. hindsight is another.

i would like to also add, just bc you are getting older, doesn't mean you have to let go of "childish" things. at 13 years old, i liked twilight, the jonas brothers, and bratz dolls. and wouldn't you believe it, at 28 years old i also still love all of those things loudly lol you don't have to let go of the things you love just bc you're getting older. things that bring you joy and comfort are few and far between in life, so if you enjoy something now, hold onto it as long as you need to. as long as it's not holding you back from achieving things or living your best life, there's no reason to stop loving what you love.

as for your parents, i do find that quite odd that they would do that in front of you. i'm sorry that that is something that happens. it also seems as if your parents are a bit dismissive about your feelings, and as someone who was also called "sensitive" and "a cry baby" (not directly from my parents… but also directly from my parents)- i get it. i'll tell you, i still deal with stuff like that to this day, so honestly the best thing you can do is try not to let it get under your skin. i know that's such a cliche thing to say, since it's not really an answer, but whatever way you gotta do that - do it. if you can, walk out of the room when they start talking about it. zone out, go to your happy place. find a spot on the wall and stare at it until their voices get drowned out. honestly, when ppl like that exist in your life, aka ppl that find enjoyment out of teasing you bc they know how to piss you off, don't let them enjoy it. don't let them see your reaction. if you stop giving them what they want (most likely a reaction of some type), they'll stop. or eventually, you'll learn not to let it effect you.

as for the conversation to have with your dad, i'm not sure what the best course of action is for you. i definitely think you should have it, especially if that is something you really want. maybe lay out why it would be such a positive for you to go to public school. talk about how socializing is something you need. talk about wanting to make friends that aren't just immediate family. talk about maybe wanting to do extracurriculars which your parents can't really give you at home. obviously, you know your dad better than i do, so work within the confines of what you know is safe and appropriate.

and if he does make fun of you and reprimands you, i'm sorry. but don't get knocked down if he does. there is plenty of time for things to change, so hold onto that.

also, i have to tell you since you are so young, please consider not being online. i know, the world kinda revolves around being online. but genuinely one of the things i regret doing as a young kid was being online bc i saw things i couldn't unsee. i read a lot of inappropriate fan fiction at that age that i shouldn't of bc i thought "oh who cares i'm basically an adult". keep your innocence as long as you can. you will be better for it in the long run.

and also please be careful of who you talk to online! if anyone ever tells you 'you're mature for your age', run for the hills. block, report, delete them. i'm so serious. if an adult WANTS to talk to you and reaches out to you first, they are weird and are most likely not looking to keep the conversations age appropriate. also don't tell ppl too much online. i know rn you're anonymous, but like.... please keep any and all interactions with adults online to a minimum. and don't tell them important things about yourself, like your name or age or where you live.

it's unsafe out there, so stay guarded. and please use that block button generously if you do plan to stay online.

#ask #personal

4 notes · View notes

v1olentdelights · 8 months

Note

grace no need to apologize i love hearing about your college experience so far and all your opinions on everything!!!

i get that math is a subject that most people don't like or enjoy but is needed in life. i'm excited to hear your input on them!!

i think i have an idea since mys sister had her first year of college so i kind of get it but probably never experience it personally through college. i'm starting to get a little bit of a feeling like that through my high school and i'm not even physically in school! grace i get that 100% you have all these assignments but you just want to sleep and forget life. oh really that's not terrible but no great either it seems walking that distance will give you quite the exercise oh no that's terrible to hear that you might be getting sick!! i get that feeling as well like i hate it and never want to go back but i lowkey do really well in it.

i am the same way!! i think that the things they assign are so boring and uninteresting to me that i can not focus on them which then makes me put 10x the amount the effort into it. i did more planning of the stories and just recharging my creative mindset since school will probably destroy that than school it was just like 4 assignments anyway i hope you got to just relax a bit!!

oh my skunks are kind of intimidating i get feeling on edge all night!! my family once a possum inside our shed it was terrifying for my mother. oh damn why are the cute ones always so shitty immediate turn off if you see him again give him the biggest side eye imaginable if i were you i would've strangled him but that of lead to probably getting kicked out and we do not want that. keep me updated on any boy encounters or crushes!!

i'm glad to hear about it being chill!! great idea i don't want you freezing or turning into an icicle out there in the winter!! i understand the math hatred math is totally not chill at all. grace that amazing to hear!! same here for me 4 days off as well!! i'm really happy you're enjoying college right now grace!! there'll probably be a few bumps in the road in college but overall i hope it all goes well for you!!

:) thank you, it's nice to share it with someone. I know, math really does suck, and like you said it is needed in life. But sometimes it is hard for me to understand why we can't use calculators and such when we will have access to those. Also I have dyscalculia, its kind of like dyslexia but with numbers instead. It sucks. But I've lived with it for 18 years so I think I can push through this. It is just a matter of doing it.

Oh wow, good on her! I think college is a great idea, but only if you want to go for something big. It is a loooooot of money for some education and papers. I get that, school and just living in general is exhausting. I hope you can find some ways to rejuvenate your energy! Yeah, I think I'll get used to the walking, it is just going to take a bit. Thankfully I have enough time between classes to not have to run to them. Yeah, being sick isn't fun. I think at first it was elevation sickness, however I need to reach out to my allergist now. Exactly! School sucks, but you're good in it, but it sucks.

YES!! I 100% agree! I think it is just better when you decide what you are learning and at what pace you are learning it. Oh yay!! I'm glad, I know how hard it can be to balance that personal enjoyment of writing and then the school work aspect.

They so are!! We haven't seen it since, thankfully. And I'm hoping we don't ever see it again. Ahhhh! Not a possum! Those things are terrifying sometimes!

No for real!! I literally wanted to choke him out. My roommate and I have this plan to like evilly stare at him and do the mock laugh? Though he probably won't remember when we do see them again. I most definitely will!

Lol, I am hoping to figure it out very soon, it is just a matter of getting on the bus! I know! Everything seems to go by so quickly. I mean my birthday is this week, and it was 8 months ago that I lost my brother. But it all feels like just yesterday, you know? I think this whole college thing is really good, and like you said, there will definitely be some bumps. But I'll overcome them!

#mackie ♡

2 notes · View notes

thetruemxpink · 1 year

Text

Okay so I'm playing Fallout NV for the first time and I never realized just how fucking terrifying this game is. Like what the fuck, no one ever told me this. Worst part is is its in multiple different ways of terrifying. Terrifying as in "Holy shit I'm going to die", "Holy shit that thing won't die", and "Holy shit thank God I didn't choose a harder difficulty or else I'd die".

I played Fallout 3 and 4. 3 had really tough fights that just needed me to be smarter about fighting them, or just have a lot of bullets. 4 was just a power fantasy, didn't need to spend a lot of time thinking during fights, even legendaries weren't all that difficult. New Vegas? Nah, man, that's a completely different story.

You meet a baby death claw and the fifty shotgun shells thrown into its face don't even scratch it. You go into a "Kill these ghouls for me" quest, your 10m pistol has a good hundred rounds in it and you're feeling pretty confident. Next thing you know, you're down to single digits in ammo, the ghouls you hear could be right next to you or across the building, the atmosphere is terrifying, your head, right arm, and both of your legs are crippled, Nightkin are hunting you down, you're completely lost, and you maxed out your gun perk which sucks because the only ammo you're finding is for LASER GUNS. Then the fucking Legendary Caeser's Assassins that come to kick your ass every other hour that you have to spend all of your resources killing.

I'm stuck having to fight battles that happen randomly across the wasteland, leaving me and my potential allies in it pretty bruised, I have to rely on my allies a lot during tough fights, plan out battles, and manage my resources. I can't just keep all my caps, I have to actually buy ammo and food and medical equipment because the irradiated wasteland sure didn't preserve a lot of that, and I can't carry a lot of it because I'm not a strength build. Named NPCs die constantly, unnamed NPCs are kicking my ass, and I have to walk so much.

Worst part is, I'm enjoying every second of it. This is substantially better than Fallout 4. The quests are fun, the characters are lively, the factions are really cool, the world building is amazing, and I genuinely want to keep playing all the time. The world just feels... alive. I am following my own story but countless others are happening throughout it. I haven't felt this strongly about a game since 2010s Minecraft and Activisionless Blizzard. I really do think I'm going to replay this game for a long, long time, and I completely understand why it was recommended so much. Thank all of y'all for telling me about this game and peer-pressuring me into playing it. It is all so worth it.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #good fucking game #play it #spoilers but its a 12 year old game its your own fault at this point #jesus why is it so scary

12 notes · View notes

m34gs · 1 year

Note

For the weirder asks: 2, 4, 19, 24, 48.

Thanks for the ask, friend! (from this post)

2. lighter or matches?

Depends on the situation. Lighting candles? I'm using a gas lighter. My emergency box, which I am currently looking at putting together since I kinda dissembled what I had before, will have matches. I also have some very nice matches made with incense so when you burn them you get about two minutes of incense, which is nice for when I want to burn some incense but don't want to wait an hour or however long for the entire stick to burn (and I'm not about to leave it unattended because Spud would probably go up to it and catch fire. Plus I need to have the window open whenever I burn it so that he can sit away from it and have fresh air, so the little matches are great for when it's cold out in the winter)

4. which cryptid being do you believe in?

There are two, and it's more that I hope they're real honestly. The Kraken and The Loch Ness Monster. I know, I know, it's ironic that the very things that keep me from wanting to swim in the ocean are the two that I hope are real, but I just really really am fascinated by them and I want them to exist. I just want them to. I feel like all the fantasy and fun will be sucked out of the world if I find out for dead certain they don't exist, and I really don't want that.

19. imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

I would do my best. Unfortunately, since my current career does not allow decorated nails in the dress code, I am very much out of practice (haven't painted my nails since I was 17!), so it may not go very well. But I would try!

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

Drinking wine together and stargazing. Looking at the moon. Talking about life. Maybe having a good cry if the conversation warrants it; not because we're upset with each other but because we could share our deepest feelings and insecurities. Forgetting, for a moment, that the rest of the world exists and ignoring the jobs we have and just pretending for a little that rent and taxes and the cost of living aren't terrifying right now, that it's not such a scary place to be a single person living alone.

48. when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

I'm assuming we aren't including church wine (seven years old), so I will go for the time when I had an actual glass of wine outside of church ceremonies.

I was fourteen. Happened on a school Europe trip where two of our chaperones were my friend's dad and one of the other girls' mom. We'd split into two groups to go get lunch before moving on in the tour. The teachers were with the other group, so the mom and dad watching over us thought 'yeah, let's give fourteen/fifteen year olds their first taste of wine'. Were they wrong for that? mmm I don't know. Maybe would've been better not to do that on a School Trip, but we were safe and had trusted adults there to make sure we didn't get into trouble. I personally think it's fine for people underage to have a small amount of alcohol to try at some point, with trusted adult supervision, so that they aren't completely blindsided by it when they are an adult going to the bar for the first time ever. But I was exposed to lots of things I probably was too young for so maybe my perception is skewed, and, again, a school trip was probably not the best place for that...lol

Thanks again for the ask, hope you enjoyed my answers!

#asks #ask game #feel free to ask more if you like

3 notes · View notes

mejomonster · 1 year

Text

Okay I started A Dream of Splendor and I'm liking it way more than I thought?

Caveat: it feels somewhat historical realism and that's not my usual genre so i am watching it as a fish out of water. But for what it is, I AM enjoying its story and the characters feeling like real people who could've existed or if in this time I could've met, being less perfect and Fantastical than romance cdramas tend to usually be

This shows intro music didn't catch me. Not necessary, but when intros catch me 90% of time I love the show. So this show needs to offer me more lol. The intros colors and image choices scream romance (horrifically possibly Fluff romance) and I hate those usually so I did Not vibe with it

The actual intro scene I DID vibe with though. Nothing to get me invested like a terrifying man with secrets, involved in fucked up stuff that I HOPE will be in the plot, implying future action scenes and political thriller (at least I fucking hope so). All things indicating this may not be a fluff romance. So I'm already way more on board

The choice to have both main girls fight in the teahouse? EXCELLENT. I realize heroines in shows can't always fight, and there's interesting angles for characters that don't. But me personally? In a historical, I like a woman who does protect herself and fix rhe problems HERSELF. I like that it showed our heroine is a woman who decides to do what she chooses, fight if that's what it requires, then commit with no regrets whether she wins or loses, lives or dies. She's stubborn, decided in her beliefs and choices, and I can deeply respect that. It's a good opening for her. It gets her in a fight with Shady Guy, but that too is a good show of how she picks her views and doesn't throw them away in fear while still trying to think of how to Get Through situations. It's impressive her bravery dealing with him, and I think honestly her resilience and commitment to her beliefs may have impressed him. Now he did insult her for being a tree that doesn't bend (if you don't compromise or accept you may need to pick another way/less deadly way you will be more likely to break when things go against your plan - which is fair enough, not bad advice though he delivered it rudely with a threat). But I do think it's rare anyone would rather die in front of him than suck up to him lmao.

I like him. Yeah he seems like an awful guy. Fun romantic lead concept though. Fun lead. I like that he clearly has his position and worldview and way of living (he breaks people until his outcome happens by any means - and he threatens her until she makes him tea). And she does too, they're strong characters written to be characters Before they're written to "accomodate" matching up with the other or accommodate some fluff trope some shows would slap in and use to drive the romance. I DO have an urge to see how the fuck these two end up allies, friends, lovers somehow. I do want to see how such strong personalities influence and change each other. It's a good premise for a story that connects two people and I'm intrigued.

I don't love rhe choice to make her a former noble (just because I am so desperate for a commoner/rich or commoner/commoner historical or historical fantasy since ALL I fucking ever find is rich/rich noble/noble. and while her backstory as a slave makes it a bit more like she has a much different background than him, and her being a merchant is Some Money but not "lives in the capital" money - all things I appreciate. It's just. It's still ultimately she is from a similar background once upon a time. I'm a bit tired of it. I'll tolerate it cause I truly can't find any alternative ;-; but please rec me if one exists. I tolerated only-royal heros in The Secret of the Three Kingdoms and loved that, and in Goodbye My Princess. But just... generally I still am craving commoner/noble or commoner/commoner. I'd like THEIR historical romance and what it'd be, a story making it as important and grand as any empress love story.). I do appreciate at least so far they both seem middle-upper class so it's not like empress/emperor (but who knows if it'll change). I DO like that the majority of her past has been as a pariah and then regular woman trying to earn a living and get her lover a better job and have work friends. It's grounded and I much prefer it to the noblewoman mold in these shows (but I realize that's a personal me thing lol)

I love the general presentation of our main girl. She isn't innocent, naive, or openly trusting. She's not the Goodbye My Princess or The Wolf type. She's a woman who's perfectly aware of the real world and it's fucked up parts from way back when it destroyed her family, She's level headed about her sisters/friends and even a bit ornery (very much like real people), she goes to handle shit herself, just overall very to my kind of preference as a character. So I like her and the lead guys potential as characters.

I LOVE the sets. Again the opening made me think itd look like 200 other historical costume cdramas. And to be fair so far the costumes aren't that unique. BUT the show looks eons better than the opening. Some of the shooting sets look shot in real locations not green screen, the village her teahouse is in particularly looks very beautiful by the river and like a real place people would live in. The ships in the harbor in the background of scenes I LOVE. The carriage rolling away out of frame, the boats going up and down the river like it's a usual everyday thing, people washing their dishes and doing chores. It feels grounded, lived in, with fairly natural clothing colors and simple costuming (as far as wigs looking like ways people may actually wear hair and clothes not so fancy they take you out of the fantasy you're watching historical). Aesthetically its subtle, but very natural, good lighting choices and set piece choices and little everyday details included, that make it feel SOLID grounded historical more than costume drama ramping things up fantastically. I'm not sure if it was expensive or cheap, but I've seen dramas with similar levels of costume detail that look WAY faker and not historical or remotely like even a "real life" vibe. So kudos to this show for making me feel I'm really just seeing some story about people hundreds of years ago. It's nice. Kind of a Pride and Prejudice feeling.

Love the focus on the female characters.

Again I gotta emphasize so far I like the hints of political thriller/Danger in the plot (I genuinely need them to get into a show so it's good they're here), and that so far the women all make choices I'd honestly prefer they did. I know women characters don't Need to match my preferences to be good. But at the same time? A big reason The Secret of the Three Kingdoms clicked wirh me SO MUCH is because a woman is the mastermind of the fake emperor, a widow princess is an assassin in one of the key political thriller plots, a whore is manipulating even the Key policial manipulator, Caos daughter even naive as she is also makes choices I think are in line with her kind of raising, even the pregnant consort who dies I felt was really Driving her own plot and just generally all the women on the show felt as on equal footing as the men in terms of Driving the plot and influencing it and Taking action rather than only Reacting. So far in A Dream of Splendor, I'm getting the same vibe. Even our naive dumb musician girl is TAKING action to marry, thinking of her future plans, fighting for what she wants trying to convince her sister, life is not only Happening to her but she's Driving her own life. While that may ideally be true of many female characters, not all shows actually write things that way or give the effort to depict it visually so the audience knows. Theoretically any woman in a historical drama getting just married is a Driving factor in her decision making of it (or her decision to let go of control and do as others say, which is its own internal inner story if the writers/visuals care to actually depict it). But in reality there's a number where it's just "she was married" or "i got another concubine" and I think maybe why I like stuff like tsottk and Jade Palace Lock Heart (even with how cruel the women sometimes are in it) is that I can see THEIR pov on why they're making their decisions or why they've fallen into becoming pawns from Their pov. They aren't ever relegated to props for a story, they ARE the story. They're Driving it, their pov is shared with us, and I personally prefer that.

I have 10 minutes left of ep 1 and fear for main girl walking into a fight she wasn't meant to stumble into

And finally: I know I sound harsh, but really just consider it me disliking the intro vid to the show lol. So far I've very much liked ALL of the actual episode. Very strong opening with good main characters, grounded setting I can get lost in and feel, solid writing decisions indicating a character arc focus, interesting setup.

#a dream of splendor #lb

3 notes · View notes