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queenofspades20 · 4 years

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Leave Him for Me

So this is my first fic. This is part of @evnscvll 3k challenge. I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always welcome. This is just over 6.9k words.

Pairings: Tattoo!Artist Bucky x Lawyer!Reader; Brock Rumlow x Reader

Summary: Bucky is Reader’s new neighbor. She’s a prosecutor dating Brock. She and Bucky become friends and Bucky wants more.

Warnings: some angst, some fluff, some curse words, cheating (not reader), Brock being the jerk that he is. Words in italics are inner thoughts of characters.

Y/N was awoken by the sound of something dropping on the floor of the apartment above her. “What…” she wondered. Her dog, a 65 pound mixed-breed named Harley, jumped up and ran out of the room. “You’re ok, Bubba. No need to freak,” she said, as she looked at her phone. *7:10 a.m.* “Seriously?” Y/N whined. “They couldn’t wait 5 damn minutes more???”

Y/N figured she might as well get up for work and turned off her alarm. After brushing her teeth and hair, putting on a little bit of makeup, and getting dressed, Y/N grabbed the dog leash hanging on a hook by the front door. “Come on, Little Bear. Time for your walk.” Harley made a big show of stretching before walking over to her and allowing her to put his harness and leash on. Grabbing her keys and bag dispenser, Y/N and Harley walked outside. As they passed by the patio, there was a crash from the unit above.

A masculine voice came from the open sliding glass door, “Come on, Sam. Don’t drop the couch! I kind of need it! Besides, it’s probably terrorizing my new neighbor downstairs.”

“Oh my God, you’re so dramatic. I’m sure your neighbor is fine,” responded another voice.

Y/N laughed to herself. She hesitated for half a second before yelling out, “Actually, as she’s awake and outside with her dog, feel free to get any crashes done now.” Y/N heard scrambling from inside the apartment and a man with chestnut brown hair and the most striking blue eyes Y/N had ever seen popped his head over the railing. “Sorry if we woke you,” the man said bashfully. “I’m Bucky. I guess I’m your new neighbor. And this knucklehead is Sam, my sometimes friend and my new boss.” He gestured to the man standing next to him. The man smiled and waved. “Hello there.”

Y/N smiled, gave a little nod, and waved back. “I’m Y/N. And this little fluffernutter is Harley. Nice to meet you both.”

Bucky smiled back. “Nice to meet you two as well. Harley is a beautiful dog, though he’s got nothing on his owner’s beauty.”

Y/N felt her face heat up at the compliment. Damn, that was smooth, she thought to herself. “Um, thanks.” Y/N caught a glance at her watch and the time. “With that, I do need to get him walked and get to work. It was nice to meet you. If you need anything, feel free to stop by.”

Bucky smiled and winked. “I’ll keep that in mind. See you around, Y/N.”

Y/N bit her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling too wide. I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. She thought to herself. “Bye, Bucky. Sam.” She nodded at the men and continued her walk with Harley, who had sat down during the exchange in boredom. “Okay, Bubba, I’m done talking. We can walk again.” Harley jumped up and happily walked to go sniff at all the trees in the area.

When Y/N got to work, she ran into her best friend. “So, I got a new neighbor finally.” Wanda perked up and started firing questions. “Is it a man? Is he hot? Is he single? We need to set you up.”

“Uh, ma’am, I have a boyfriend. What do you mean ‘set me up’?”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “You’ve been dating Brock for 3 months, you haven’t said ‘I love you’ to each other, and he’s garbage.”

“He’s a lawyer. He’s not garbage.”

“He not garbage because he’s a lawyer. Bitch, you’re a lawyer and you’re not garbage. Brock is garbage because he puts down like everything you like. He makes fun of your love of Disney, he barely acknowledges you in public, and he’s awkward with Harley. That alone should be a deal-breaker.”

“Yes, he’s awkward with Harley, but he isn’t mean with him. And to be fair, Harley is awkward with pretty much everyone, except me. And the acknowledging in public: we work together. He doesn’t want people to gossip. Hell, I don’t want people to gossip. And I mean, my love of Disney can be a bit childish.”

“Girl, it is not. You enjoy something that brings back good memories. He shouldn’t make you feel guilty for enjoying something that doesn’t harm anyone.”

Y/N hesitated. “I guess.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“What?” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“You’re ignoring red flags. You deserve someone who makes you feel confident in the relationship. Not someone who tears you down. You’re a successful prosecutor. You’ve argued in the state supreme court, multiple times. You own your home. You have an awesome dog. You don’t need a loser like Brock.”

Y/N sighed. “Whatever. I need to get to court. I’ll check ya later.”

Y/N walked to her assigned courtroom. As she doubled-checked her docket to verify which cases were up, a shadow fell on the table. “Hi, Y/N.”

Y/N looked up. “Hey, Brock. You have cases in here today?”

Brock smiled and leaned closer to her ear. “No,” he whispered. “I just wanted to see my girlfriend. But while I’m here, haven’t I told you that you shouldn’t wear such a bold lipstick? It makes you look a bit… cheap.”

Y/N felt the smile fall off her face and tensed up. “Well, Brock, I like red lipstick. I think it looks good.”

“I’m just trying to help. You don’t need to be so defensive.” Brock rolled his eyes.

“I’ll see you later, Brock. We still on for dinner?”

Brock looked at his phone. “Actually, I have some work I need to get done. Let’s do it another night.”

Y/N tried to hide her disappointment. This was the third time in the past two weeks that Brock had rescheduled dinner because of work. She knew what his workload was like because they were in similar divisions, but it seemed like work had come up a lot for him. “You promised that you’d make up for cancelling three nights ago. That’s what tonight was about.”

“You’re always hounding me, Y/N. We have an important job. I need to get work done. We’ll just do it another night. It’s not that serious. You’re so moody today. Is it your time of the month or something?”

Y/N closed her eyes for a moment. I am a prosecutor. I cannot punch someone in the face in the middle of court. Though if I got a jury of all females, I could convince them it was justified. No. No, I must not punch him, no matter how strong the urge. Fight the urge. Do not rise to his barb. Y/N thought to herself. “No, Brock. I’m not happy because we’re supposed to be in a relationship and you keep blowing me off. You expect me to just clear my schedule for you, but then you ditch me whenever you see fit. Not a fan of the double-standard,” she stated with tension clear in her voice. Y/N clenched her jaw but otherwise, no one would know how upset she was. Thank God this job has taught me to have a good poker face. I cannot be seen as emotional at work. Why does he always do this when there’s an audience? Why does he do this in court?

“Well, my job is important, Y/N. You know how this job is. You’ve had to stay late before.”

“Yes, but if I have pre-existing plans, I work around those plans. There’s a thing called ‘work-life balance,’ Brock. You should learn it. You’ll burn yourself out at this rate.”

Brock huffed and looked down his nose at Y/N. “I won’t burn myself out. You know I’m trying to get into homicide. Don’t worry your pretty little head about my work habits. I gotta get to my courtroom.” With that parting shot, Brock left the courtroom.

The conversation with Brock put a damper on the rest of her day. As she walked up to her front door, she heard her name being called out from the balcony above her apartment. “Hey Y/N! Good day at work?” Bucky smiled down.

Y/N plastered a fake smile on her face. “It was fine. Thanks, Bucky. I’m happy to be home and I’m sure Harley is more than ready for his walk.”

Bucky bit his lip. “Can I join you guys? I got this place pretty quick but didn’t really look around.”

What’s the harm? Y/N thought to herself. “Sure. Just let me get changed and let me grab Harley. I’ll give you the DL on the area.”

Y/N quickly went inside and put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. She looked around for her fluffy roommate. “Come on, Bubba. Let’s get our walk on.” Harley started wagging his tail. As she walked out the door with Harley, she almost crashed into Bucky, who had his hand raised to knock on the door. “I’m sorry, Bucky! Didn’t expect you to be standing right there.”

“My fault for standing so close to the door. Shall we, my lady?” Bucky gallantly bowed and stuck his hand out. “Lead the way.”

Y/N chuckled. “Well, actually Harley leads. He’s the one who has business to attend to.” Harley looked back at his name being spoken and then huffed. “Oh yes, sir. I’m so sorry. We’re not moving fast enough for ya,” Y/N said sarcastically, while rolling her yes. She looked at Bucky. “He can be a bit of a drama queen. God forbid we don’t move at his pace.”

Bucky laughed. Y/N found herself staring at the way his eyes lit up. She quickly looked at Harley to make sure he wasn’t getting into anything or doing something that needed to be picked up. “So, what brought you here, Bucky? I hear a bit of a New York accent.”

Bucky looked a little surprised. “Good ear. I’m from Brooklyn. I’m a tattoo artist and I got a job down here with Sam. I was looking for a change after my best friend, Steve, decided to move to England to be with his girl.”

“Tattoos? That’s so cool! I’ve always wanted one, but can’t decide on what I want. Besides, I don’t think my boyfriend would approve.” Y/N said, speaking animatedly at the thought of getting a tattoo, but immediately deflating, knowing her boyfriend would make her feel horrible if she got one.

Bucky noticed how quickly Y/N went from excited to sad. Boyfriend sounds like a douche. If she were my girl, I’d encourage her to do what makes her happy. “Well, it’s your body. If you want one, you should totally get one. I bet you would look like a badass,” Bucky said gently, trying to lift Y/N’s spirits up.

Y/N half-smiled. “I know it’s my body. But sometimes it’s easier to not do something to avoid the headache of complaints. Like tonight, for example. He and I were supposed to have a date night. He had cancelled a few days ago because of work, but then gave me the same excuse for tonight. If I pushed it, I might have gotten him to come over, but then he would be complaining about work the whole time and how he needed to get stuff done. I don’t know.” Y/N sighed. “There’s not exactly a long line of guys wanting to date a 30-something year old lawyer. But let’s talk more about you. I’m pretty boring.”

“You’re a lawyer? What kind? I was wrong. A tattoo would make you more badass than you already are.” Bucky stared at her. How could she not see how great she actually is?

Y/N rolled her eyes with a smile. “I’m a prosecutor. Been at it for a few years. It has its days, but it’s not as interesting as you’d probably expect. The cases themselves can be interesting, but it’s a lot of arguing the same type of law over and over. Right now I handle defendants who appear in career criminal court, so guys with a lot of priors, usually violent.”

“That still sounds really cool. I could listen to you talk all day.”

“Well, you’d be the only one. Harley doesn’t even want to listen to me most of the time.” Y/N said with a laugh. Harley looked back at the two people who held his leash. He moved back and booped his nose against Bucky’s leg, looking for attention.

Bucky smiled, happy he made her laugh, and absentmindedly reached down to pet Harley’s head. “I mean it. You’re really nice. I mean, you could have yelled at me this morning for being so loud so early. You’re clearly smart, since you’re a lawyer. If you get tired of the boyfriend, I’ll gladly step up.” Bucky said quickly and looked away. He missed Y/N’s eyes widen is surprise, but heard her sharp intake of breath.

“That’s sweet of you to say to cheer me up, Bucky. As for this morning, well, missing out on 5 minutes’ worth of sleep isn’t a big deal. And it’s not like you meant to wake me up. I’m not going to be a jerk for something that’s an accident anyways.” Y/N looked at the time. “We should probably head back. I gotta feed Harley and I guess cook dinner.”

“I meant what I said, Y/N. I know we just met this morning, but you seem like someone I want in my life.”

Y/N smiled sadly. He’s just being nice. “Well, we are neighbors, so we’re in each other’s lives no matter what. I’m sorry for unloading on you. You don’t need that.”

“I’m here whenever you need me. That’s what neighbors are for, right?”

“If they’re good neighbors, sure. Thanks for walking with us, Bucky. You’re welcome to join us any time. He seems to like you. Also, just FYI, when I’m at work, Harley occasionally will howl, because he’s unhappy with me not being home at his beck and call. So, I’m sorry in advance if he disturbs you.”

“Like he could ever disturb me. He’s a good boy and dogs bark. I figured living in a dog-friendly complex that I would occasionally hear dogs.”

“That’s good. Some people don’t grasp that concept. And Harley really just howls when I’m not there. If I’m home, he’s quiet. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard him bark at anything either. He’s not exactly a normal dog; definitely not a real guard dog.” Y/N started laughing. “He is scared of everything, except thunder and fireworks. The A/C turning on freaks him out, but thunder? He’s fine and will want to go for walks while there’s lightning and thunder. No sense of self-preservation.”

Bucky bent over, laughing heartily. “That’s…that’s crazy,” he wheezed out. Y/N joined in on laughing, recognizing her dog is definitely weird. After a few minutes, the laughter died down. Y/N wiped the tears from her eyes. “I needed a good laugh. Thank you for pointing out the ridiculousness that is my dog.”

“Any time, Doll.” Bucky said, still smiling.

At “doll,” Y/N felt a flutter in her stomach. I never feel that when Brock calls me babe. Maybe Wanda is right and I’m ignoring the red flags. But, then again, Bucky probably calls every girl “doll.” It probably doesn’t mean anything. “Hey, Doll. Since your plans got cancelled for the evening, would you be interested in hanging out with me? I’m not completely unpacked but I can order us a pizza or something.”

Y/N thought for a few moments before answer. “I appreciate the offer, Bucky, but I think I’m gonna spend the night in alone. How about we hang out another night? Maybe later this week?”

“Sounds like a plan. Enjoy the rest of your evening then.”

“Good night, Bucky.”

As Y/N walked into her apartment, she got lost in thought. She turned to look at her dog. “Harley, I think I’m in trouble. There’s no way someone as sweet and handsome as Bucky would really be interested in me. He probably just pitied me when I opened my stupid mouth.” Y/N sighed sadly. “At least we seem to have made a new friend. Always got plenty of room in my life for good friends.”

Before she knew it, a few months had passed and Y/N and Bucky began to spend a good amount of time together. Brock cancelled more dates, claiming work. It got to the point where he cancelled more than he actually made the dates. Y/N started visiting Bucky at the tattoo shop when that happened. Bucky got more and more frustrated every time it happened. After what seemed to be the tenth time it happened, Bucky had had enough.

“Doll, why do you put up with him? You deserve someone who will treat you as the goddess you are. I would never cancel on you. If you left him, I’d make sure you know just how much you are treasured, always.” Bucky ran his hands through his hair.

“Bucky…” Y/N started. “Brock takes his job seriously. We have large caseloads. There are times when we have to work nights and weekends.”

“That has never stopped you from making plans and keeping them. What about our weekly movie nights? You have never cancelled on me. And I know there were days you were in trial. You still showed up and didn’t make me feel as if you wanted to be anywhere else. You are someone who loves with their whole heart. Brock just takes and takes from you and what does he ever give back? He treats you like you’re at his beck and call and your life doesn’t matter. Hell, you keep talking about how you want to get a tattoo, yet he says things to hold you back. Stop letting him. Leave him. Leave him for me. I could make you so happy.” Bucky looked at Y/N with almost desperation in his eyes.

Y/N’s brow furrowed and her breathing started to get a little faster. She could feel the tears rising. She wanted Bucky, but her fear held her back. Bucky had wormed his way into her heart. Y/N wanted nothing more than to go into Bucky’s arms. But she could only hear Brock’s voice in her head. You’re too clingy. You suffocate people. You’re just not the relationship-type. You’re lucky I even want you. I’m the only one who would ever put up with you like that. Y/N looked at Bucky, who looked at her like she was the moon and the stars in the sky, and knew what she had to do. She nodded to herself, trying to steel her resolve.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I think I need some time to think. I think it’s best if we take some time away from each other,” Y/N quietly said. It took everything in her to hold it together. She couldn’t even look at Bucky, for fear that she would completely break down. She felt a crushing pressure on her chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“Doll . . . “

Y/N stood up quickly and rushed out of the shop.

Sam, who had seen Y/N rush out, looked at Bucky. “What happened?”

“I pushed her too hard. I just . . . I just want to be with her. She’s amazing. She’s smart, kind, beautiful. Two weeks ago, I was having a bad day. She showed up on my doorstep with Harley and a plum tart she made from scratch. She knew from our texts that I was having a bad day, so she made me my favorite dessert and we watched movies. When you talk to her about her work, she’s the most confident person you could meet. She works so hard to get respect. But when it comes to her personal life? It’s like she’s a completely different person. It’s almost like she doesn’t think she’s worth being loved. I don’t get it.” Bucky felt completely empty. Thinking that she needed time away from him hurt. “What do I do? She’s my neighbor. How can I see her and not be with her?”

Sam looked thoughtful for a few moments. “Bucky, I think that girl is head over heels for you. But I think she’s confused because she has an asshole of a boyfriend and she doesn’t know how to stand up for herself in a relationship. I think you need to give her space and let her come back to you.”

“But do you think she will?” Bucky felt hopeless. He knew he was pushing her, but he just wanted to see her happy.

“I guess you’ll find out.” Sam clapped Bucky on his shoulder. “In the meantime, I say this as your boss, get back to work. You have a client here.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam. “Fine.”

The next morning, Y/N rolled into work and found Wanda. “Hey ma’am,” Y/N said, sounding despondent.

“What happened? Did you finally dump Brock?”

“You ask that every morning and what is the answer every time?”

“No. But I know the day the answer is different is coming soon. I can feel it,” Wanda said with a smile.

Y/N sighed. “I told Bucky I needed time away from him.”

“Why would you do something so stupid?” Wanda yelled.

“He asked me to dump Brock and be with him. Wanda, I don’t know what to do. Brock isn’t who I want. I’m not even sure why I haven’t walked away. I can see it isn’t working. Hell, I barely see him these days.”

“Well, how about I make it easy for you? Brock is over there, talking to Tony from homicide. GO DUMP HIS SELFISH ASS!” Wanda pushed Y/N towards him. Y/N knew Wanda was right. She knew Bucky was right. She didn’t want to be with Brock. They hadn’t even had sex in weeks, Brock always claiming he was too tired or Y/N not feeling right. Y/N thought of Brock touching her and it made her feel as if spiders were crawling under her skin. She knew it was time to end things.

“Brock, can we talk?” Y/N asked, as she walked up to Brock.

“Y/N, I have to get to court. Can this wait?” Brock sounded irritated.

“No. This needs to be done now, while we don’t have an audience.” Y/N felt her strong in her decision. “Brock, this isn’t working. We need to end this.”

Brock sneered down at her. “What are you talking about? What us? Did you think we were anything? You were there to just warm my bed and you couldn’t even do that right. I’ve been sleeping with my ex pretty much since you and I started dating, if you want to call it that.”

Y/N felt confusion. “You. . . We . . . we’ve been in a relationship for six months. Sure it hasn’t been great as of late, but there’s no reason to act like we weren’t anything.”

Brock, looking around, grabbed Y/N’s upper arm tightly and dragged her into the nearest office. “Listen, you delusional bitch, we’re nothing. I was just using you. It looked good to the guys in homicide that I had a solid relationship. Tony just offered me the spot. I no longer have use for you. You were a means to an end, nothing more. Why you would think you actually meant anything to me or to anyone is beyond me. You were so desperate for attention that you actually believed that I would like you. You’re pathetic.”

Y/N felt the blood drain from her face and rush into her ears. Still can’t punch him. Still not allowed to punch him. DO NOT PUNCH HIM. Y/N looked at Brock for a few moments, nodded, and turned and walked away. She headed straight to her office, knowing she needed to get there before she broke down completely. Wanda rushed after her and closed the door to give them privacy. “What the hell did he say to you?” Wanda demanded. She had never seen Y/N look so lost.

“He used me to get into homicide. He never cared. I never mattered to him.” Y/N felt weak. “I should have seen this coming. I should have known better.”

Wanda’s mouth hung open. “I’m gonna kill him.” Wanda started to move towards the door. Y/N lunged at her friend and grabbed her hand.

“No, Wanda! He’s not worth it. I appreciate your fury on my behalf, but he’s not worth it. I told him I was ending things. What matters is it’s done.” Y/N looked imploringly at her friend. “I just can’t believe I stayed for so long.”

Wanda sighed. “Fine, but I’m gonna destroy his career.”

Y/N’s head cocked to the side. “What are you going to do?”

“Brock’s dumb ass forgets that I am very well connected in this office. He messed with my friend, I’ll make sure he won’t get the promotion he wants. Besides, we all know he isn’t the best attorney for the job. There are way better people for that spot, including you.” Wanda smiled devilishly.

“Wanda, he’ll mess up eventually. Men like him always do. This office is in a state of change anways. We’re getting a new big boss after the new year. Brock will get his. And because this office gossips worse than a bunch of middle school kids, I’m sure it’ll get out how he treated me and we all know people won’t take kindly to that. And I’m not going to deny that I would be good in homicide. Because I know you’ll try to kick my butt if I do.”

“Damn straight,” Wanda muttered.

Wanda looked at her friend thoughtfully. “So. . . can I give people enough of a gist that Brock will be ostracized? People like you a lot more than you think.”

Y/N stared at her friend. “I mean, he cheated on me pretty much the whole time we were together with his ex and used me to get himself into homicide. I don’t exactly want people know how pathetic I am. I can’t believe I dated him in the first place.”

When Y/N put it that way, Wanda could see why her friend didn’t want her to say anything. “Fine. I won’t spread the information around, but if I’m asked, can I tell the truth?”

“Well, yeah. There’s no reason to lie. I just don’t want that information volunteered. I wasn’t in love with Brock, never claimed to be, but damn it still hurts what he did. It’s like I meant less than nothing.”

Wanda nodded her agreement. “Well, now that you’ve dumped the loser, how about we get you set up with your hot neighbor that you spend all your time with?”

Y/N felt herself tear up and started wringing her hands. “Wanda, I screwed it up with him. He told me last night that he wanted me to leave Brock and choose him. I told him I needed time away from him and ran out of there. I just . . . Bucky has become a huge part of my life. He’s smart and handsome and caring and funny and, even though he’s a total asshole, what if Brock was right? What if I’m not the relationship-type? I mean, there must be a reason I’m almost in my mid-30s and have had only one relationship and look at how much of a disaster that was. I don’t think I could handle Bucky seeing me as too clingy. I couldn’t handle it if our relationship weren’t to work out.” Y/N felt lighter stating her fears, but still felt a gaping hole in her chest. The thought of life without Bucky seemed as if the world would never have color in it again.

Wanda looked at the lost look on her friend’s face and felt a few tears fall down her face. “Sweetie, you are worth everything. Bucky knows that and he would never see you any other way. I’ve seen you and him together. Every time you’re not looking at him, he’s looking at you. You should give a relationship with him a chance.”

“I think I need a few days at least to process everything. I feel like I’m going to explode out of my skin from everything that’s happened in the past 24 hours. I know I can’t wait too long to make a decision, but I also don’t want Bucky to think he’s a rebound. I don’t want to think he’s a rebound.”

“Y/N, he’s not a rebound. He’s not someone you moved on to because he showed you attention. He makes you laugh, he listens to you, he supports you. I think you need to move before it’s too late.” With that, Wanda stepped out of the office to give her friend the space to think about her words. Y/N luckily did not have to be anywhere that morning (a rarity to not have court), so she decided to keep her office door closed and focus on getting work done.

When she got home that evening, she saw the lights on in Bucky’s apartment. Every atom in her body was calling out to go to Bucky but she knew she needed to sort out her feelings.

Bucky saw Y/N walking to her door. Her face was void of makeup, her hair was in a loose bun, and Bucky thought she never looked more beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to go downstairs to talk to her, but he kept Sam’s words in his head. He decided to wait for her to come to him, so Bucky put on a movie and settled in for the night.

After a few weeks, Y/N started to feel more like herself. It didn’t take long for Tony to find out how Brock used her. Brock knew that Tony was her mentor in the office, but he underestimated their friendship. Tony stormed into her office and demanded to know the truth. Though she kept most of the information to herself, Tony was able to understand enough of what Brock did. While Tony couldn’t fire Brock like he wanted, he was able to deny Brock the promotion. Brock, in retaliation, tried to trash Y/N to anyone who would listen, but Y/N’s reputation preceded her and no one believed him. After a month, Brock quit and moved to another city.

Over the course of the month after things ended with Brock, Y/N would see Bucky around the complex but they kept distance from each other. Y/N appreciated Bucky giving her the space she needed, but she knew she had to make a big gesture to show Bucky she wanted him.

Y/N contacted the shop where Bucky worked and spoke with Sam. “Sam, I don’t know if Bucky told you about what happened,” Y/N started.

“He told me that he told you about his feelings and you asked for some time. I don’t blame you. He mentioned you have a boyfriend,” Sam stated. Y/N could tell he wasn’t judging her for her actions, but he sounded cautious.

“Had a boyfriend. I ended things the next day. Then found out some things about him and I needed time to get past it. I didn’t think it would be fair for Bucky for me to deal with that while trying to figure out exactly what I feel for Bucky.”

“Have you figured it out? He’s been a mopey mess without you.”

“Well, if it makes any difference, I’ve been miserable without Bucky. I didn’t realize how much time I actually spent with him.”

“You two were disgusting. Please tell me you’re going to put him out of his misery.”

Y/N chuckled. “Well, that’s actually what I want to talk to you about. I want to make an appointment with Bucky for my first tattoo, but I want it to be a surprise. Do you think we can make it happen?” Y/N asked hopefully. She waited with bated breath for Sam’s response.

“I think we can make it happen. What do you want to get? You realize that usually there’s a consult and then the actual appointment?”

Y/N felt excited. “I know that’s how it usually happens. I would love to get [your ideal first tattoo] on my left shoulder. Honestly, I know Bucky is a great artist and I trust him. He can design it however he wants. I mean, what’s the point of going to an artist if I’m going not let him be creative?”

Sam pulled the phone away from his ear and smirked at it. “I don’t know that I’ve ever heard someone say it that way before. I think it’ll make things easier to set up a surprise for him. I’ll use a different name for the appointment, so Bucky isn’t tipped off. I’ll email you the pricing. What day do you want to come in?”

“As soon as you can arrange it. I really want to put myself out of misery as well,” Y/N said with a laugh. “If during the week, any time after 7. Any time during the weekend.”

“Well, the soonest I can get you in is 3 days from now, on Thursday. Will you be able to wait that long?”

“Yeah. That’ll work.” Y/N felt an excitement she hadn’t felt in months.

Thursday came around and Y/N hadn’t seen Bucky in those days. She felt almost sick to her stomach with nerves. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Will he reject me? Am I doing something stupid? What if I took too long? What if he no longer wants me? As Y/N walked up to the shop, she felt a tremble in her hands. Here goes nothing.

As she stepped into the shop, she saw Sam at the counter. “Hey, girl. You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Hey, Buck. Your 7pm is here.” Sam was careful to not use your name. He pulled out his phone, pretending to be checking something. He wanted to record Bucky’s reaction to seeing her there for a tattoo. He was hoping for a reaction he could use for ammo against Bucky later.

As Bucky came around the corner, he saw Y/N standing there. He could feel how nervous she was. Y/N was biting her lip and had a small smile. “Surprise,” Y/N said with a small shrug. “I thought you should be the one to give me my first tattoo.”

Bucky strode right up to Y/N and hugged her tight. “I’m so sorry I pushed you, Doll,” he said into her hair. “I’ve missed you so much.” He could feel the tension leave her body as her arms wrapped around his waist and felt his shirt get a little wet.

“I wasn’t sure if you would want to see me after how I left last time.”

“You’re my best girl. I always want to see you.” Bucky smiled down at her. He felt happy for the first time in weeks. “Now, since you’re here for your appointment. Let’s get started.”

“I can’t wait to see what you came up with.”

“I can’t believe you’re giving me so much freedom.”

“Well, Bucky, I trust you. You would never let me down.” Y/N hoped Bucky understood she was talking about more than just the tattoo.

Bucky led Y/N back to the room and got the stencil out. “What do you think?”

“Oh my God, Bucky. It’s perfect! It’s better than anything I could imagine.” Y/N was gushing. It was truly the perfect first tattoo.

“Let’s get this placed and make sure it’s where you want it.” Bucky adjusted the tank top Y/N was wearing to make sure there was plenty of room and that none of the ink would get on her shirt. After placing the stencil and getting approval from Y/N, Bucky had her sit down on the chair. He got the ink set up and inserted the needle into the machine.

“You ready, Doll?” Bucky asked, as he moved behind Y/N.

“Bring it on, Baby.” Y/N smiled over her shoulder at Bucky.

Bucky turned on the machine and the buzzing sound filled the room. Y/N felt Bucky’s hand just to the right of where the tattoo was going to be. The first touch of the needle to her skin stung. It felt like a long scratch, nowhere near as painful as she expected. “You okay, Doll?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Bucky.”

After a few minutes of silence, Bucky decided to speak up while focusing on the line work. “So, if you’re getting a tattoo, that means one of two things happened. Either you decided to get the tattoo no matter what Brock says or Brock is no longer in the picture.”

“I broke up with him the day after I last saw you. It hadn’t been working for a long time, if it ever worked at all. According to him, I was just a means to an end.”

Bucky paused for a moment before continuing on with the tattoo. “What do you mean a means to an end?” Y/N could hear the tension in Bucky’s voice.

“He was using me to get into the homicide unit. Apparently, they wanted someone who had a more stable home life and since I’m good with most of the people in there, he set his sights on me. This, of course, all came out after I told him I was done. He quit the office not long after. Because lawyers gossip more than a bunch of middle school kids, it got out and people didn’t take kindly to him doing that to me. He didn’t get the promotion.”

Bucky felt relieved to hear that he was no longer in the picture, but felt sad that Y/N didn’t come to him sooner. “I’m sorry you went through that, Doll. Why didn’t you talk to me when it happened?”

“I needed to sort myself out. I really like you, Bucky. I knew Brock wasn’t the guy for me. But I also didn’t think a guy like you would really want to be with someone like me.”

As Bucky switched out the needle for shading, he felt at a loss for words. “What are you talking about, Doll?”

“Bucky, I’ve never been good with relationships. Hell, Brock was technically my first boyfriend. He’s not the first to tell me that I’m not relationship material. I figured there was something wrong with me. I mean, when multiple people tell you you’re not worth it, it’s kind of hard to ignore.”

Bucky couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Y/N, Doll, in no way are you not relationship material. You’re kind and smart and so beautiful I forgot to breathe the first time I saw you. Those guys were complete idiots.”

Y/N started to tear up. “So, you would still be interested in giving us a try?”

Bucky turned off the machine and moved in front of her. He looked deep into her eyes. “Nothing would make me happier. You’re my best girl.”

Y/N gave him a watery smile. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She could feel the stubble against her lips. The smell of his cologne enveloped her like a warm hug. Bucky looked like he had won the lottery. “So, how’s the tattoo looking, Bucky Bear?”

Bucky chuckled as he moved back behind her. “Got a bit more to do. You doing okay? Do you need a break?”

“Nah. You gotta finish up so we can plan our first date.”

Bucky felt his face heat up. “Way to motivate me, Doll.”

Y/N chuckled. “Well, I gotta come up with something. Unless you’d like for me to come up with something else?”

“I don’t think my heart could handle it, Doll. You are trouble.”

Y/N had to bite her lip to prevent herself from laughing. “Only for you, Bucky Bear.”

Bucky smiled and resumed tattooing. After a little while, he set the machine down. “Ok, Doll. Let’s clean this up and you can check out your new tattoo.” He wiped down the skin gently. He helped Y/N stand up and move in front of the mirror. “What do you think?”

Y/N stared at it for a few minutes, her face not giving anything away. Bucky began to feel nervous when she didn’t say anything. “Doll?”

Y/N looked back at Bucky. She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him close. She whispered into his ear, “it’s a good thing I love it or our date would be pretty awkward.” She placed a kiss just below his earlobe.

Bucky felt a tremor go down his spine and chuckled. “Little shit. You scared me for a moment.”

Y/N had a cheeky smile. “Well, gotta keep you on your toes. Would hate for you to get bored of me.”

“There is no chance of that ever happening, Doll.” Bucky lifted her chin towards him. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. As he started to pull away, Y/N followed and crashed her lips against his. She slid her hand to the nape of his neck to hold him to her. Bucky moved his hands to her hips and squeezed. The move caused Y/N to gasp, which allowed Bucky to slide his tongue into her mouth. Y/N felt as if the world went away and all that was left was her and Bucky. They continued to kiss until the need to breathe caused them to part.

As they looked into each other’s eyes, Y/N felt the butterflies in her stomach she had felt the first time she met Bucky. “So, how about that date?”

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #brock rumlow x reader #tattoo!artist bucky #lawyer!reader #bucky x reader

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mininky · 5 years

Text

Love is for the birds baby!

Summary: You refuse to believe in love. It’s a concept created by big corporations like hallmark to get sad saps like you to buy their shit. But it’s all fake. You’re convinced of that at least until a series of events with a certain tattoo artist who you loved to hate makes you question everything you’ve ever known.

Pairing: Tattoo artist!Yoongi x (fem) reader

Genre/Warnings: Romance, slow burn, fluff, comedy, smut warnings include: unsafe sex (always wear a condom), oral sex (male & fem receiving), multiple orgasms, spanking, light breath play, mentions of squirting. Non smut warnings for lots of cussing. Lots.

Word Count: 13.3K

A/N: A special shout out to @mzpandylu for inspiring me with such odd dialogue. Also challenge accepted, a quivering starfish is mentioned.

Love is a completely abstract and intangible concept to you, at least romantic love is. There are many forms of love. Familial love is a concept you sort of understand, let's just say that your home life wasn't the greatest but you do at least understand the concept. Platonic love you completely understand. But romantic love? You very secretly yearn to understand it, desperately trying to figure out how the fuck some people get so lucky that the spark happens. You've dated, sure. But try as you might none of them have ever made your head spin or your heart sing. Lust you get. You've had plenty of flings and even some longer relationships, but love? Love is for the birds baby.

You refuse, absolutely refuse, to admit that you have in any way shape or form an interest in this bizarre concept that is the investment and endeavor of romantic love. You've carefully hidden away all of your fanfics and all of your shojo mangas and all of the things that others would say is honestly completely normal to keep questions at bay. You know that your friends are interested in love, and unlike you they have no shame in admitting it. They talk about it all the time. They fall in 'love' with each man they date. But you're convinced that's not love. It's something more than like, sure you'll give them that but you're sure that it'll all end eventually. Love isn't sustainable because it's all a lie. Maybe you're too romantic at being romantic, perhaps you've just been suckered into all these stories into believing that a whirlwind romance is possible until one day the crushing realization that it wasn't possible occurred. That the sparks of electricity and burning hot embers of passion aren't sustainable and aren't indicative of love.

You were twenty, he was twenty-one. The two of you had been dating mutually for three years at that point, a lifetime in college years. Billy Johnson. Fucking Billy. He was smart and funny and he actually knew what a clit was, and he kissed you under the night stars and made you feel like you were in love. Maybe you were, but you like to think that the feelings you felt weren't actually that strong. It made the fallout easier. Which brings you to the fallout, that realization that romantic love is all a big corporate lie to sell shitty grocery store roses and cute snuggly teddy bears and dime back novels to sad sops like you. A marketing ploy. Not a reality. Fuck Plato for being the first to sell the idea of soulmates, and fuck Billy too. Billy Johnson was a cruel heartless asshole who fucked your best friend. And in one day you lost two loves, one romantic and one platonic. In turn, you gained a distinct hatred for romantic concepts and a world-weary view on relationships, waiting for the other shoe to drop every time you encountered someone new.

You dated again after that, but now at the young age of twenty-six, you've decided that it's time to give up. Or maybe you gave up after Billy. You can't say you've ever actually given it a real try after that if you're being honest. You know when to call it quits. You refuse, absolutely refuse, to be a corporate sellout. And your feelings are in no way shape or form reflective of the animosity at being broken up with by Johny last week because you were too 'sarcastic' in the middle of your vacation to Busan. Too sarcastic your ass. You'll show that motherfucker sarcastic. God, sorry, you're getting off track here. Where were you again?

Ah yes, love is for apparently everyone that isn't you. So you'll just be a cat lady. An affection earned entirely by ear scritches and feeding them. A reward system that makes sense. You take care of them and they tolerate you. Now that you understand. That makes sense. Why in the ever loving fuck would you try romance again when instead you can have a mutually beneficial understanding with something as cute as a cat that can't tell you 'I think you're a bitch' in a language you understand? Fuck Johnny, and Billy. And every other man for that matter.

You're ruminating in anger as you order your coffee, eyes staring straight into the young and timid barista as you slap down the change. Poor kid, it's not his fault but today you just hate the world. You try to smile but you're pretty sure that just scares him more if the way his eyes go large and round in fear is anything to go by. Christ, you need to work on your people skills. And you're totally not thinking that because of that dick weasel who you've decided will no longer be named.

Normally once you get your caffeine fix you're in a much better mood, but today the only thing you want to do is karate chop your own throat. Or maybe just play Red Dead Redemption 2 and kill a bunch of people in a completely legal way. Not online though, you really don't need another 13-year-old boy slurring about how much girls suck unless you want to unleash the crazy bitch inside of you to the point of no return. But unfortunately, you have bills to pay. Caffeine fixes to afford. Student loans to pretend you'll someday actually pay off except interest is a bitch. Which means going to work. Normally something you love, but today you're really not in the mood to edit another shitty sci-fi story where the physics of breasts go beyond the dudebro fedora lover that wrote the shitty thing.

Be an editor they said. You love books they said. You'll be great they said. They hadn't warned you that being an editor at a major publishing house still meant reading through a painful amount of crap writing that you would, in turn, make all pretty and nice and somewhat more presentable garbage for public consumption with no acknowledgment or credit for all the hours you spent trying not to bash your screen in with your face. At least you were close enough to walk to work.

You grab your piping hot venti quad shot vanilla latte (with soy) as you go back out into the frigid air. Your eyes are cast down on the pavement, trying not to bump into too many of the zombie state morning foot traffic as you make your way into the office. At least you have an office of your own, a salvation of peace and quiet away from prying eyes that allows you to wallow in self-pity safely. The rest of the day goes by in a blur, your normally somewhat antisocial personality becomes far more present as you hide away from even your beloved breakroom coffee pot to avoid too many interactions. You just knew that you would end up running into Susan. Nice gal, but she talks way too much and she set you up with Johnny no wait, the douche canoe. You forgot he must never be named again. The last thing you need is her bringing up how he dumped in you in the middle of your vacation.

You're also the last one to leave tonight. For someone who didn't really want to step foot into the building, you sure do seem to be having a hard time getting out of here. But there are deadlines to meet and your vacation meant that there's a pileup of work that needs to be done. That and you really don't feel like going into your empty apartment to binge watch on Netflix while you host another internal pity party.

By the time you're finally out the door and into the freezing winter night, you can feel exhaustion seeping deep into your bones. Or that might just be the joint pain that this super shitty winter is causing. That's another thing the world lied about, joint pain isn't just for old people. It's apparently also for future cat spinsters who hate everything no matter their current age. Your head is stuck on the last chapter you were editing, trying to make sense of how exactly you might be able to convince the author to scrap the whole damn thing politely as your nose picks up on the smell of a cigarette wafting over. Your stomach rumbles, brain shutting off as fingers twitch. God, it's been two years since you stopped smoking but it smells so painfully fucking good right now.

Your face whips up as you see the small trail of smoke wafting over to you. It's the guy from the tattoo shop, Min fucking Yoongi. You should've known. The guy is hot you'll give him that. Eyes just sharp enough to give him that bad boy image when paired with his full sleeve tattoos and the crawling cherry blossoms on his neck. The chronic scowl that says 'try me' in a way that oddly makes him hotter. Hair that looks like he spends way too much time on usually. Today however he's decked out in a beanie and black leather jacket with pants just tight enough to make you wish he would turn around and walk away. But in the last year since you've unfortunately gotten to know him you know that he's every bit as snarky, bitchy, and firey as you. He's also as much bite as he is bark, although so far you've never been the one he's pointed his bite at.

"(Y/N), I see you were working late again." He takes a lazy drag on his cigarette, eyes staring straight through you as his lips quirk up into a smirk.

"Yoongi." Your eyes narrow in on his, fingers twitching at your side as you bite down the incessant desire to beg for a cigarette. You won’t break, especially not in front of him. Just because you’ve had a series of bad days doesn’t mean you actually need that cigarette.

"Jesus, what's wrong with you? You seem even bitchier than normal. I guess this cold snap we're having is because the ice queen decided to control your body."

"Har-har-har little man." He bristles at the jab and you can't help but cackle internally at your small victory (pun completely intended.) "No for your information the world is a cruel, evil bitch and yet again I fell for its corporate seductions and evil capitalist ploys."

"Right, I'm going to nod my head and pretend I understood what that meant just so you don't kill me. Hey, so are you ever going to get that tattoo or not?"

You reach into the trenches of your memory, recalling months ago on a particularly good day when you told this same tiny Satan that you wanted to get a tattoo. He had seemed oddly impressed that you wanted a snake on your upper thigh and all was well until he told you that he pictured you wanting some shitty positive statement, most likely placed on your collarbone or ribcage and adorned with little doves or a dreamcatcher or some other shit. Bleh. That's when he first learned that you are possibly insane and most certainly a bit of a bitch. It's all been downhill with him since, each run in turning into a battle of insults.

He stubs out the little remaining part of his Marlboro before gesturing to the warm shop. "I've got an opening to do a consult if you wanna talk about it more."

Perhaps this is it, maybe this is what you need to do. Something different. Something that doesn't include your usual routine of wake up, caffeinate, work, work, work, and Netflix binge all in between minor anxiety driven breakdowns. Besides, it's just a consult, not the actual tattoo. "How do I know this isn't an elaborate plan to eventually see me half naked?"

Yoongi rolls his eyes as he opens the door to the shop, glaring at you as he speaks slowly. "You might be hot, but I have a feeling you'd be the type of girl to try to peg me with no lube. I prefer cuddling. Trust me, I'm not interested in getting you naked and seeing where it goes." You're thrown for a loop at that one, shuffling slowly behind him as your brain tries to make sense of it. You know you should be offended that he seriously thinks you wouldn't use lube, but Yoongi likes cuddling? The guy who scowls at life itself? The guy who you've watched physically throw out a neo-nazi who wanted a tattoo? The same guy who rides a motorcycle and refuses sugar in his coffee because he likes it as bitter as his very soul? Man, life is really fucking weird.

You follow behind him tentatively, shocked to hear rather calm hip hop station on. Maybe you stereotype too much but you pegged him (pun not intended this time) as a Lamb of God kind of guy, definitely not a Dean and PH-1 fan. He takes you over to his office, gesturing at a free seat before he sits down at his desk. Every surface is covered with intricate artwork. From Japanese style tattoos to Sailor Jerry flash pieces to pops of dystopian Disney paintings. "So, you still thinking about doing the same thing?"

"Yeah. Red Belly black snake. I'm thinking upper thigh/hip area." You stand up and move your coat to the side to point to the area.

"That's a good sized piece. Have you thought about adding anything more to it? Maybe some hyacinths on the left and right of the snake, I'm thinking in maybe a pale pink so it doesn't offset the red in the snake too much."

"You know what a hyacinth is?" You snort slightly, glaring back at him when he leans onto his elbows to shoot a look that he's probably hoping will kill you.

"I'm a tattoo artist. Do you know how many fucking flowers I have to draw every day? Swear to god I should open up a flower shop next door and make a killing with my amazing arrangements." This time you give a full-blown laugh, shocked to hear him mirroring quietly. In all the time you've kinda sorta known him you've never heard him laugh. It's nice, deep, and the gummy smile he gives has your heart doing little flip flops that you absolutely refuse to analyze.

You take just a beat too long to look at him, your head tilted slightly as you mentally murder the lone butterfly that has survived all of the anger you've culminated in the last few years. "How about a peony instead? I think it would look better."

"We can do that. With the size you're looking for and all the color work I'd guess that we're looking at at least 6 hours if we want to make sure it's done right. We can split it into two three hours sessions. I charge $200 an hour so you're looking at at least $1200, but you might want to be thinking to around the $1600 range just to be safe. I also require a $300 deposit usually just for a consult and another $300 later but I figure I can always hound you if you don't come in." He opens up his computer, clicking away for a moment before adding, "I have enough time to get started this Friday night if you want? At 8:00."

"Gee thanks for the trust. Yeah that all sounds good, I'm down."

He nods quickly, hands grabbing at some paper as he starts making drafting up some rough sketches. You try not to invade his space as you look over the paper, brain desperately searching for a small talk topic. God, you've always been bad at this. "So...how long have you been a tattoo artist?"

"Well I started my apprenticeship right out of high school at 18 so 10 years total, but as an actual artist only about 8 years." Interesting, so that would make him two years older than you. For some reason, you feel a need to put that in one of your mental files. "What exactly do you do at that giant office building down the street?"

"I work for a publishing house in there as one of their many editors."

Yoongi snorts, nodding his head as he keeps sketching away. "Yeah, I can see you working with books. Your creative insults suddenly make so much more sense."

"I'll take that as a compliment." You lean back into your chair, taking in your surroundings a little more closely before focusing unabashedly at the man before you. His tattoos are on full display now that he's taken off his jacket. Almost all are black and white with small splashes of reds and pinks laced mostly on his neck where cherry blossoms fall delicately off a branch. His eyes are cast in complete concentration, lower lip bitten as he works. There's something painfully sexy about the image. You almost want to burn it into your brain to use for late night consumption.

You aren't sure how long the two of you sit there in silence, but it's comfortable. There's something soothing about listening to the way his markers glide over the paper as soft music, buzzing tattoo guns, and chatter filters in fuzzily through the closed door. You can feel yourself finally start to relax, all of the earlier rage and grudges held at the world slipping away momentarily as you enter a near-meditative state just watching him work.

Finally, he glances up, a smile on his face as he pushes the paper over the desk to you. It's beautiful, a little rough around the edges without the finishing touches but it's better than anything you thought of. "Wow, Yoongi this looks great."

"It's just a rough drawing. I still need to work on some of the other touches but if you're good with that I'll get started on making the transfer later this week."

"Yeah..." You words are quiet as you look at the picture, elation growing in your heart. You might turn into a cat lady, but at least you'll be a badass one. "Okay, so seriously though do you want me to put down the deposit now? I have no problem with that."

"Nah, don't sweat it. Oh, but I do need your full name and number to actually book it. And don't give me some shit about this being a ploy for your number." You roll your eyes before giving him the information. Standing up slowly when he opens up the office door and leads you back out to light snowfall. "Alright, see you this Friday (y/n)."

"See you Yoongi. Thanks again." As you turn back to send a smile something painfully familiar stirs in your brain when he flashes that gummy smile and sends you on your way.

---------------Friday----------------

By the time Friday rolls around you've been through a whole litany of emotions. You're of course excited about the tattoo, that's not the problem. No the source of all evils is Min Yoongi. Sexy. Witty. Can handle your sarcasm. Enjoys cuddling. He's plagued your thoughts, gummy smiles invading your daydreams and inky tattoos hovering over you at night. It's been a long time since you've actually crushed on anyone. Dating as an adult is an entirely different experience. Usually, you know someone who knows them or met them on tinder and you're just praying that they aren't a secret serial killer and that you share enough interests to talk in between getting railed while praying for an orgasm. At least, that's been your shitty experiences anyway. You know that it isn't always the case considering that just about all of your friends have gotten magically engaged or married recently. But Yoongi? There's something about him that stirs up all of your previously assumed dead thoughts on love. All of the secret romantic pinings combines with lust in a painful swirl but luckily the thoughts you have of him are usually fleeting.

You step forward into the tattoo shop after grabbing a bite to eat, two warm cocoas in your hand as you try not to freak out that the big event is finally here and you'll be face to face with tiny, sexy, tattooed satan yet again. The man behind the counter looks over at you, and you can't help but wonder for a moment if being really good looking is a requirement to work here. Deep dimples, sunkissed skin, glasses perched on his nose.

"Hi, do you have an appointment?" You shake your head yes, staring at the floor for a moment before finally squeaking out that you're there to see Yoongi.

"Ay, (Y/N)'s here!" He shouts out towards Yoongi's office and you see him strolling out just a moment later.

"Jesus Joon, you've been spending too much time around Hobi. I think the whole shop could hear you." Yoongi steps around the desk eyeing the other cup before you hand it out to him.

"It's just cocoa, I didn't lace it. This time. Also, it's made with soy milk." You can hear the man called Joon laughing in the background as Yoongi slowly grabs the cup and squints at it before taking a tentative sip.

He gives a small nod that you assume is to signify satisfaction before he starts walking over to a curtained-off section in the back. "You ready to get started?"

"Yep, all ready!" You take a sip of the cocoa and sit down on the tattoo chair slowly.

"Alright, just check over this transfer and let me know what you think before you undress so I can put it on." You look over the image, heart warming up slightly at the brush of his fingers before you finally nod a silent affirmation. "I need words babe, is it good or not?"

You can feel yourself bristle at the tone, sighing wearily before you finally bite out, "Yes, babe, it's perfect."

"Cool. I'll leave you to get undressed, I'll be back in just a moment." The one shitty thing about the placement of your tattoo is that it will require not only pants to come off but underwear too. Before nerves can take over you strip quickly, laying back down on your side before you can think about it too much. Getting undressed faster than you can sneeze was probably a bad idea though because now you're forced to just sit there with your ass cheeks freezing and mind shutting down while you wait for him to come back. After a minute you hear him announcing that he's coming in before opening up the curtain.

Your eyes are trained on the floors. Jesus, you wish you could get your tiles to glisten the way their's does. They must mop a thousand times a day, you can't even see a speck of dirt in the grout. The sound of him clearing his throat has you jolting a bit before turning around to glare at the sound of his laughter. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just going to disinfect the area and put the transfer on then I'll have you take a look and let me know what you think of the placement." You decide to go mute apparently as your only response is a feeble thumbs up before quickly turning to resume your ever so interesting study on what floor cleaner they use. Probably Fabuloso.

You force yourself to stay stock still when you feel his warm hands on your hip as he cleans the area and peels the transfer on before he gives a light tap to your thigh. "Alright, take a look." With all the grace of a hospice patient you slowly swing your legs off and walk over to the mirror, trying to not pay attention to the fact that you're awkwardly half naked in front of arguably the hottest man who's admitted he enjoys cuddling before you finally relax at the sight of the transfer. "Man, this is going to look rad. Alright little satan, do your thing!"

"Little Satan? Really? What happened to all your usual creative bitchiness? What was it you called me that one time?"

"Oh! Degenerate Malfoy with a nicotine problem? Or was it wannabe colon inspector?"

"Neither actually, it wasn't even something you called me now that I remember it. You once told me 'Ah I see the fuck up fairy decided to mess with my life and force me to see you yet again.' That's a good one by the way, I've used it a few times."

"Glad I could help, but I wish I could copyright it so you could pay me the rights to use it." You try not to get too nervous as you hear him slip on his gloves and the needle buzzing ominously behind you. The pain won't be that bad right? "Relax, you'll be fine." His voice for once isn't laced with sarcasm. It seems that even the formidable Yoongi has a professional voice that he employs occasionally.

After what feels like ages filled with anxiety-ridden thoughts you feel the needle prodding away, moving quickly while leaving tingling and ever slight burning sensations in its wake. It does hurt, but not to the point of being unbearable. "See it's not so bad, scaredy cat." You resist the urge to turn around and pummel him in his annoyingly handsome face.

"If you weren't tattooing me right now I'd choke you out."

"Kinky, but I prefer a chick to at least buy me a drink first."

"Already did jackass, the cocoa remember."

"Huh, you did didn't you. Okay, well it's still off the table for you. You'd probably keep going until I actually died."

"Hell misses it's little satan though, I'd just be helping you reunite with all your friends."

"Do you have a snarky remark for everything princess?"

"Nah, depends on the day and the person. You're a special one Min Yoongi, something about you makes me want to bludgeon things."

"Oh, what a sweet compliment. Isn't that how people feel when things are too cute too?" You don't even need to look over to know that he's smirking as you flip him off.

"Or annoying." The rest of the three hours the two of you spend going back and forth with each other to the point that some of the other artists passing by started to call out their two cents in. By the time you're done, you have the outline complete and some of the black shaded in. The rest will be done in just two weeks time at his next opening.

-------------2 weeks later-----------

Oddly enough for once, you haven't seen Yoongi outside during his normal smoke break time when you leave work for the last couple of weeks. You also haven't seen him getting his normal disgusting black coffee either. Not that you've been looking for him. Okay...so maybe you have. There's just something about him other than the really good looks you like. In one sense it's almost like walking on a blade the entire time you're with him, never sure when he's going to make a jab. On the other hand, he's also easy to talk to. In a way where everything is oddly comfortable even with this underlying lurking sexual tension. Or maybe that's just in your head. Maybe there's no sexual tension and it's just been so long since you last had a good lay (the dingleberry boy who shall not be named was terrible) that you're starting to hallucinate. Which is a rather real possibility.

This time when you walk in with another cocoa it's with far fewer nerves. No, you're ready for the battlefield and only tremble ever so slightly when you have to face him with a bare ass in his face.

"Alright sunshine, let's finish this bad boy up." Is all he states before he gets right into it, ever the professional. By the time he's finished, you're 110% positive that you were just imagining the sexual tension because his eyes don't even wander as you check the tattoo in the mirror. Which is a good thing right? Because you're supposed to be on your fast track to nundom not trying to bag the super hot tattoo artist who works near you.

There's a bizarre sinking feeling in your heart though when you realize the tattoo is done and you won't be able to see him for extended periods of time on such a good excuse. An expensive excuse, but an excuse nonetheless. Now, however, with your beautiful, intricate, and very sore skin you'll have to go back to happenstance run-ins. You think that maybe, just maybe, if the somewhat hollow looking smile he gives you when you leave is anything to go by that he doesn't really want it to end either. But that's probably just the few embers of hope remaining in you that needs to be crushed out.

--------1 month later---------

You've spent another night overworking yourself. This time there wasn't really a good reason to either. You're not only on schedule but way ahead and yet you've decided to just keep busting through work until dusk begins to fall and the shitty flickering streetlights by you turn on. Almost every night for the past few weeks you've been working longer days and as much as you hate to admit it it's to try to keep yourself from wallowing too much at night about your impending lonely doom. Tonight will be different though. Tonight you'll ruminate and bask in the fucked up world with your dear old friend Irene as she's finally decided to have a night away from her obnoxiously good looking fiance Taehyung. She might not be able to relate to your doom and gloom sentiments on life but she's always a good friend for a pick me up.

You set off in the opposite direction of your usual route, winding through the chilly streets until you get to your favorite bar that serves oddly impressively delicious fried chicken. The moment you step in you notice Irene sitting at one of the few tables at the place, glaring at a man who clearly can't take a hint. Marching over you grab the seat across from her before biting off a 'Jesus how much aftershave do you use? Did you put in on your asshole too or something?' Knowing he's now outnumbered, and out bitched, the two of you watch the man leave without protest.

"You know you really should be careful. People are crazy, aren't you ever afraid that you might get hurt or something?"

You shrug nonchalantly before sighing at the doe eyes she gives you. "Irene, I love you but I'm not curtailing my inner bitch just because some douche might murder me. There are countless absurd ways I could die, if I have to check myself in fear of that then I just let all those asshats continue being menaces to society without being put in their shitty sad places."

"So what you're like a superwoman with a bad attitude only you save the world one dick at a time with well-timed insults?" You know that voice, you know that voice all too well. Your ears perk up and your jaw drops open as you whip around to come eye to eye with Yoongi. For one whole month, you haven't seen him even with perfectly timed coffee runs around his smoke breaks. Not that you learned his habitual schedule or anything. Nope. Nothing like that at all. Just coincidence is all. And you just happened to notice he wasn't there. That's all.

"Yoongi!" You hate the way your voice goes up an octave, excitement making your voice quiver like a little puppy reuniting with their owner after a short separation. You can already feel the heat bursting on your cheeks as his head tilts, eyes watching you carefully before he cracks a lazy smile.

"Um, (y/n), who is this guy? Do I need to mace him or something?" Irene whispers to you, but just loud enough that as Yoongi steps closer he can hear her.

"Please don't mace me. I promise, I only bite if you're into that."

"Hey, watch it, mister. She's a taken woman." Reluctantly you wave your hand over the free seat to invite him over before looking back at Irene. "Irene this is Yoongi, Yoongi this is Irene. Yoongi did my tattoo for me."

"Oh, you got a tattoo? Can I see it?"

"We'll definitely get a free round of drinks if you show it off, that's for sure." You can't help but smack Yoongi's shoulder, shocked at the sturdiness of it. Considering how slight he looks you really didn't think that he worked out but now your mind is starting to wander.

"Yeah well, kind of can't show you in public considering I have to take my pants off. Oh! But I do have some pictures!" You pull out your phone, swiping through until you find one and turning it to show her.

"Wow, that looks like it hurt. It looks great though you did a good job..." Irene pauses, eyes going wide with panic before she finally adds, "Yoongi."

"Thanks." He almost looks shy and you can feel your heart breaking. Yeah, typical to have the hot dude fall for your friend and not you.

"Did you order drinks yet?" At the shake of Irene's head, you're grateful to have an excuse to flee to the bar not rushing to grab the bartenders attention and face falling slightly when he sidles up next to you immediately. The world is a cruel place. You want them to take their time and they're there immediately. You want them there right away and suddenly so do seventy other people. Luck. Or murphy's law maybe. Whatever.

You huff out a sigh before plastering a smile on your face, "Two cranberry vodkas, please. Tall and stiff." The bartender nods as you slap down a twenty, praying that perhaps he'll at least make the drinks slowly but oh no this man must be one of those bartenders that enters fucking speed competitions because he's sliding both drinks over before you can fucking blink. Unbelievable. The service at this place is just too good and it's making you twitch slightly in irritation.

Trying not to huff, you grab the two drinks and make your way back to your table. Heart sinking even more at the sound of Yoongi being strangely amicable to Irene. This was not the night you wanted at all. You wanted to get drunk and hang out with Irene and forget about how shitty boys are, not have glaring reminders everywhere about how the capitalist ploy that is romance will suffocate you to death. Okay so maybe you're being a little melodramatic. A lot. Whatever. It's your pity party, you can cry if you want to.

When you finally sit back down and hand Irene her drink you can't help but guzzle yours back right away, ignoring the acidic burn in your throat and the quirked eyebrow from Yoongi.

"So...(y/n)...any new boys after Johnny?" Irene refuses to look you in the eyes as she asks, smart enough to sit just out of reach from your possible rage.

"I refuse to fall victim to the bullshit masquerade we call love yet again. I've called it quits. I'm just going to be a spinster with a million cats who will inevitably be forgotten until my landlord finds that mittens, my favorite cat, has eaten my left asscheek for sustenance after my untimely death."

Irene bawks, trying immediately to rush into lengthy reasoning as to why you shouldn't stop searching for love as Yoongi nearly falls off his chair laughing so hard. At the end of Irene's dialogue, Yoongi wipes away a stray tear before shooting you a gummy smile. The kind that makes you want to hate him less, but you refuse to. Because that's dangerous territory. Territory you've sworn to never cross again. "You don't actually mean all that bullshit right? Love is natural, it's needed. It's biologically ingrained in us to be social creatures and affectionate."

"Don't you judge me and mitten's life path!"

"You don't even have a cat!" Irene looks exasperated as she takes a sip of her drink, silently judging you. "Listen, I get it. You've been fucked over a million times by terrible guys. But that doesn't mean that the whole world is that way." At the withering look you send her Irene sighs, shaking her head but falling mute. You feel a little bad that yet again you've ruined the mood so you try to lighten it up a bit, reaching over to pinch her cheek lightly.

"Thanks, Irene. I'm sorry. I'm just...I don't know. I've been in a bit of a mood." You bit your tongue from further sarcasm at the pointed look she gives you. "Things haven't been so hot lately. I'll get over it. In like a decade. But you know that's better than never." You can feel Yoongi peering at you, analyzing you from the corner of your eye.

"Why though? Why are you so convinced that love is such a sham?" Yoongi's words don't seem to hold any judgment or his usual quiet hostility, instead just honest curiosity.

"Well if they don't cheat on me they always grow tired of me. I'm a bit too much of a bitch for my own good. I should really work on that." You shrug, staring at your almost empty glass as you try to shush the self-loathing thoughts that want to invade.

"I like that part about you though. You've got spunk doll, it ain't a bad thing. You just need to find a guy who can match it." He smirks at the way you go quiet before leaning slightly into you at the table. "I don't know, I think I'm up for the challenge if you are." He grabs a card from his pocket, placing it next to your cup as he stands up. "That's my cell on there. Text me sometime babe." You hate the way your brain shuts down, playing back the way he calls you babe until all senses fail.

"You should do it. You know he was asking about you the entire time you were getting drinks?" You feel your heart sink even further at the realization that you judged the situation too quickly before suddenly soaring at the idea that Min Yoongi asked you out on a date. You. Snarky, bitchy you found a match in hell. Capitalist ploys be damned! You'll at least find out if he's cocky for a reason. If you don't chicken out that is.

-----------------------------------

Later that night after all the alcohol has left your system and you're snuggled up under enough blankets to possibly suffocate you, you find yourself staring at your phone. You entered in his contact almost immediately after he left at the urging of Irene. Apprehension has held you back from actually sending anything though. Your fingers hover over the screen, bottom lip stuck between your teeth as you suck in a breath. What have you got to lose?

[You]: Hey...

[Yoongi]: (Y/N)?

[You]: Yeah

[Yoongi]: This is unusual. I'm used to quippy remarks. Don't tell me you've grown soft?

[You]: Fuck off. I'm just confused that's all.

[Yoongi]: What's there to be confused about? You're funny, you have no problem with giving it right back to me, and you have a fantastic ass

[You]: Well that was blunt

[Yoongi]: I'm an honest man [Yoongi]: So listen, about that date, I wanna take you out Sunday

[You]: That's in like a day from now

[Yoongi]: Yeah well I've wanted to take you out from the first time you told me off for smoking on the street. And that time you told me you were going to shove my tattoo needle up my ass solidified it.

[You]: You have some odd kinks sir

[Yoongi]: Is that a yes babe?

[You]: Hmmm....yeah I'll go

[Yoongi]: Great send me your address I'll pick you up at noon

[You]: You aren't going to chop me up in a million pieces and feed me to the fishes right?

[Yoongi]: No I prefer my women in one piece

You send over your address, butterflies swarming around as you squeal into a pillow before sending him a quick good night. You don't need to embarrass yourself by saying something off the wall as exhaustion starts to set in. Like "I want to kiss your face" or "Fuck me in your office." Yeah, that's not good pre-date material. You need to keep it kosher for now.

------------------------------------

You had spent all day Saturday cleaning to keep your nerves at bay. Not that you can really tell much in your closet after you ransacked it. And not that you can tell you went through all of that energy just to pick a simple oversized black hoodie and jeans. It's too cold to go all out anyway. You've been staring in the mirror, double checking your hair and makeup a thousand times as you hear the doorbell chime through the apartment. It's a good thing no one else is around to see you nearly trip over yourself as you slip on your shoes and answer the door. "Hi!"

Yoongi is wearing his usual black leather jackets, skin-tight black jeans, and cat-like smirk. "Hey. You ready?"

"Yeah, oh just let me grab a jacket." Pulling one off the rack you shut the door behind you, locking the door before shuffling behind Yoongi. Much to your surprise, he slows down until your right next to him, clasping his hand around yours and smiling as he silently leads you to his car.

"What, no motorcycle today?"

"Nah, I figured you'd strangle me and we'd crash. Dieing on the first date just seems tragic. We need to get on date number five at least." He shoots you a wink as he opens your door, shutting it lightly behind him as he jogs around to the other side.

"So...where exactly are you taking me?"

"You're a curious little thing today, aren't you? Well at first I was thinking something simple like coffee, but let's be honest that's overplayed and boring. So then I thought about going to an aquarium just so I could make a joke about feeding you to the fishes but then I thought nah too easy. So I spent more time than I'll tell you plotting. And I realized exactly where we needed to go. We're going to the river for a picnic. Something that's oddly ordinary and you'll secretly love but no dude's ever actually done for you. Am I right?"

You're at a loss. You certainly didn't expect him to think this through to this extent. Honestly, no guy has ever cared this much about a first date before. You figured that only existed in stories and movies at this point. "You're certainly right. Isn't it a little cold for a picnic though?"

"I have brought plenty of cocoa and jjigae to keep us warm, don't you worry your pretty little head about it." You can't help but fidget slightly, nerves boiling over until his hand rests soothingly on your thigh and you feel yourself melt. Or maybe boil over until you malfunction. But that's something to dwell on at a later time.

It doesn't take long after that until you pull up at the river. During springtime it's packed, everyone comes out to drink under the cherry blossoms, but right now it's serenely quiet. You're almost the only people in sight save the zealous runners and elderly couples strolling through on their daily walks. When you try to help set up the blanket and food Yoongi refuses, so instead you watch him meticulously lay everything out. Maybe this is a post-season Christmas movie because you swear you can feel your dead cold heart grow as you watch him. It's an oddly domestic feeling. Certainly romantic. Painfully sweet. And for once all of your usual bitter snarkiness has drowned it's self in the river to leave you a heart-eyed mess.

"Come on, come sit. I told you before, I don't bite unless you're into that."

"I'm into that, but right now I'd rather have cocoa and jjigae." You watch him pour out your drink as you sit down, carefully handing you the piping hot drink before pulling the still boiling soup out of the basket.

"Alright, so I figured that being you'd probably refuse to tell me too much out of wariness. So I propose that we play 21 questions. What's your favorite food?"

"Tofu, in all it's many forms. What's your favorite color?"

"Black, just like my coffee."

"And your soul." You duck as he tosses a napkin at your face, laughing at the gummy expression he sends your way.

"Aish. Okay, next question, what are your hobbies?"

"Reading and video games. Why'd you become a tattoo artist?"

"I love drawing, but I especially love the idea of a living canvas. It's just so interesting. Although I hate that I don't usually get to control the outcome of it, some people have god awful tattoo ideas. Most people actually. I'm at least booked enough now that I can refuse those ones without worrying about my bank account too much. Why are you so afraid of love?"

You weren't expecting that question. You figured he'd keep things easy but then again you should have known better. Of all the many ways you can describe the man before you easy isn't one of them. "Trust problems I guess. I didn't have the best home, parents kicked me out young and we haven't talked since so that's probably at the root of it all. I don't know though, never seen a shrink about it so that's just an educated guess. Add all the boys that I've dated either dumped me or cheated on me and it makes it tough to believe that love, especially romantic love is real. Why do you believe in it?"

"Because love is the very essence of humanity. The best way to fight a shitty system that tries to keep us all down is through love. It's not power or money or any of that other bullshit they tell us we need. It's love. We all just need someone who understands us. It doesn't need to be a ton of people, just one who really gets us and bam! Everything's good. Sometimes those people come and go, but that doesn't make the love you held for that time discounted. It just means that now you need to find someone else who understands you." He chooses his words carefully at first, but when he sees that you're held in rapt attention he grows passionate. Eyes blazing as if to dare you to disagree. And suddenly you're seeing the world through a different lens. Here you had been chalking romance up to marketing, which isn't entirely untrue but that's just one part of it. But love the way he sees it? To him, love isn't about marketing or money it's just about human connection. And suddenly you're starting to understand that abstract intangible concept. You also realize that what you were looking for wasn't love, but perfection. You didn't want to do all the work, you just wanted all the pieces to magically fall into place for you and gave up when expectations weren't instantly met. "Next question, why'd you say yes to this date?"

"Because you're hot." You roll his eyes at the exaggerated wink he sends you before eating a bit of the jjigae. "Okay so that was a part of it but mostly I was curious. You're this weird enigma Yoongi. At first, I thought I had you all figured out. Tough dude with tats and a motorcycle who probably has a slew of booty calls waiting for him. But then you said you liked to cuddle and I got curious. And then I realized that I didn't have the whole picture, just a glimpse. Why in the world did you ask me out? And for the love of god don't say 'dat ass.'"

"Okay but dat ass though." The way he laughs full heartedly, slapping his knees at the sight of your glare almost makes you not elbow him. Almost. But you have a reputation to uphold. "You've just got this thing about you. You're like a fortress. A puzzle. I guess that same idea of wanting to figure a person out is the same reason why I'm so attracted to you. You see at first glance you seem to be just brutally honest, but then when you look closer it's easy to see that you're vulnerable. Fragile. Callous due to a previous naivety that landed you in shit places by the sounds of it. I like that you have spirit, you aren't afraid to tell people to fuck off. But what I like most of all is under that there's this heart of gold. At least if your interaction with your friends is anything to go by you do." Fuck, you think you have something in your eye. It's definitely not your long extinct tear ducts learning how to work again. Nope.

You can feel his thumb brush a stray tear, hand cupping your face as you automatically nuzzle into the warmth before he clears his throat. "Next question-"

Before he can finish the question your lips are on his. They're chapped but still soft, plush under yours. And suddenly that tailwind romance you thought was all fake feels so real as a spark of electricity zaps you. Or maybe that's more carnal, but whatever it is it feels so right. As if his lips were made to be against yours. And when you feel him kiss back roughly, hands weaving through your hair as he pulls you in closer you know that he must be feeling the same thing. You're floating. High in the clouds. Weightless. The sound of someone running past finally has the two of you breaking apart slowly. "Right next question, can we do that again?"

This time there's a fire behind the kiss as your hands grab onto his jacket and his tongue slips into your mouth. This time you know it's more carnal. Burning bright. Passionate. Hungry. Needy. But before it can devolve into public debauchery you reluctantly pull back, blush creeping up your neck as you see his molten brown eyes focused on you in a way that clearly states that he is indeed as dangerous as he looks. At least if your definition of dangerous is sex right out in the open at a very public park anyway.

"My turn. What's your favorite music?"

The rest of the date goes by too quickly and you learn about everything Yoongi related and he learns everything about you. You're positive that you've never learned so much about a person on a first date, or hell even by the third. You've learned his birthday, his favorite music, all about his friends, how he actually co-owns the tattoo shop and how that all happened. You've learned about how he came from a poor family and how he makes sure to send a little bit each week to help out on top of the apartment he bought them. Suddenly the $200 an hour fee makes a whole lot more sense.

By the time you're pulling back into your apartment, the two of you have already planned a date for next Sunday. And as he puts the car in park you can't hope but wish that somehow it was already magically next week. But when he pulls you in for a heated kiss and presses his forehead against yours before sending you off you're too much on cloud nine to pay any attention. You'll have to add that Yoongi is certainly the best kisser you've ever known to your mental file.

-------------1 week later---------------

Well, it's official. You're nuts. You'd like to blame Yoongi but let's be honest, all you needed was a little help to push you over the ledge. Except the problem is that before you were very sure of life. Completely comfortable with anger, bitterness, and believing that everything inevitably fails. And in some sick twist of fate, his words have been playing back in your head over and over every single day for the last week. Before you thought it was all or nothing. Love was there or it wasn't. You get one shot at true love and if it fails then it never existed. Except now your world is flipped upside down.

Perfection is a fruitless endeavor. An impossible task. One with zero rewards. And what you've been looking for all this time is perfection. A perfect love. A whirlwind romance. But if it's perfect it's fake. It's all a lie. An elaborate performance. Which is mostly all you've ever gotten, granted usually in short-lived moments but sometimes longer. And when the curtains closed each time you thought, "this show wasn't a real show. I'll go to a better play next door." Except the play was still very much real. A part of you. A part of them. Which means that love is indeed real it's just not always very grand. But when it was there it was beautiful, you were just blind and ignorant in even the good moments. Unaware of the magic in small acts. But with Yoongi suddenly you want to see all the small acts. You want to not just see the show but be a part of it. Go behind the scenes with him. See how this plays out.

Which is completely fucking nuts. You're already talking about your entire worldview changing and the concept as something as obscure as falling in love with a man you barely know and have only been out on a date with once. It makes you afraid. It makes you feel free. It gives you options. It's like being able to use all of your senses at once for the first time. Except that's scary because there's too much coming at you at once. But it's equal parts exhilarating. You've been through every single possible emotion a person could have every day.

By the time your second date finally arrives, you're suddenly calm about it all. As if everything is right and the puzzle pieces to life are aligning and maybe just maybe you have a chance to see things differently. And while before you would have rather poked your eyes out than face rejection again this time you just want to see where this takes you. You aren't thinking so much about the end results, rather the journey.

Tonight Yoongi is taking you out to his favorite record store. While you don't own a record player you can certainly appreciate the aesthetics of vinyl. There's something oddly charming about them, even if it is ridiculously impractical in the modern world of space-saving technology and cramped apartments. Perhaps the impracticality of it is apart of the appeal, however. This time you aren't tripping over yourself to get to the door. But that's because you're standing right by it giving yourself a pep talk. Not that he needs to know that of course. After smoothing down your hair and doing a quick checklist in your head your pulling the door open.

This time he's wearing an oversized sweater but again the same tight black jeans. The man must have stock in them. Not that you blame him, it looks good after all. "You look great, babe." Heat blossoms on your face as his eyes scan you from head to toe, that signature lazy smile adorning his face before he takes your hand in his and leads you to his car.

"Still no motorcycle?"

"Nope, still don't trust that you won't freak out and kill me accidentally. Why? You seem oddly keen on the bike."

"It just looks fun that's all."

"It is. There's nothing better than a good ride, and you can take that any way you please." He winks at you, laughing when you scoff and punch his shoulder. If any other guy said that line you would have jumped out of the now moving vehicle, but for some reason when he says it you turn into putty. Maybe it's the charm of being absurdly good looking. Or that tattoos. The bad-boy charm. Or maybe it's because in all his infinite aloof glory he's just Yoongi. Comfortable and confident in his own skin without being sleazy.

The record store is quiet, playing a selection of upbeat jazz. Your brain is trying to figure out the tune until you finally snap your fingers and softly say, "Giant Steps!"

"You know jazz? Are you a secret Coltrane fan or something?" Yoongi is giving you that look. The look that says he's clearly analyzing you. Studying you. Dissecting your brain as you speak.

"Sort of. I dated this guy in college for years, he was a jazz major. His thesis was going to be on Giant Steps, it's been years since I've heard it though. Are you secretly into jazz, Min Yoongi?"

You watch him shake his head no as he scans the records before pulling one out. Outkast, ATliens. A great album, one that invokes nostalgia. He quickly puts the record under his arm before he continues searching. "Nah, I'm more of a blues guy myself. Nina Simone. Etta James. Bill Withers. The building blocks to all modern music. At least hip hop, R&B, and all the subgenres of rock."

"You know an awful lot about music considering you're a tattoo artist. What's the background story on that?" You peruse next to him as you speak, flicking through the music slowly.

"Once upon a time I wanted to be a rapper." There's something far off about his voice. As if he's reliving the memories. A gentle smile on his lips as he shakes his head as if to push them back into their little file in his brain to not be disturbed for some time. "But I had bills to pay. I'm not complaining though. I love music, adore it. But I love what I do too. It's almost like trying to pick between your two children. You might actually have a favorite, but it changes depending on the day."

"Let's hope you only have one kid then."

"Nah, I'm going to have a horde of mini Mins. Take over the world with them and overthrow capitalism. It's my diabolical plan to get housing prices back to normal and get student debt forgiveness."

"And how exactly do you plan to have this army of darkness? Polygamy? A sex cult?"

"God that just sounds exhausting. I can hardly keep up with you let alone more women. No, I think I'll actually stick with two children. You know, just so on tough days I can look at one and go 'ah yes today you didn't fuck up.'" You pray that he doesn't look over to see your cherry red face. He in a way made it sound like he's thought about children with you. Clearly, that's not what he means but now your mind is wandering. Mini mins. They'd be cute. Probably slightly evil but cute nevertheless. They might be born glaring though. Or smirking instead of crying.

"What happens when they both fuck up?"

"Then I've got you." Fuck, he was implying you. Holy shit. Holy shit. Act natural. Don't look at him. "Ooh look! They have a Frank Ocean Blonde vinyl. Unopened this bad boy is worth a few hundred. Man, I can't believe how cheap they're selling it for." He tucks it under his arm before cataloging through some more. For a short while the two of you work in silence, falling into a pattern that when you stare at one for just a little too long he's plucking it out of your hands and refusing to listen to you protest.

By the end of it all, the two of you are walking out with a dozen records after learning a wealth of information on all of Yoongi's favorite artists. You also learned that once upon a time his rap name was 'Suga.' Which led to you immediately and passionately singing Sugar by System of the Down quickly increasing in volume until he clamps his hand over your mouth and stares at you with the rage of a thousand suns. Totally worth it though. Especially when the dude behind the counter picks up where you left off.

Dinner goes by too quickly. You wish you could freeze time, force it to slow so you can languidly explore his world. It's with a heavy heart that you unbuckle your seat belt before leaning over and pulling him into a heated kiss. One that makes your head spin again and proves that the first date wasn't a series of flukes. Nope, Min Yoongi really does have a skilled tongue. When you pull away you can see stars in his eyes, his hair ruffled and cheeks red as he tries to even out his breathing. The most dangerous part about Yoongi is his duality. The way he can flit between sexy to cute and somewhere in between without trying.

------------2 months later----------

You've lost count on how many dates you've gone on at this point. He's taken you out on his bike finally to go stargazing. Out to plays and art galleries. Sometimes you've just stayed in and watched movies together. You have lunch together at least twice a week now, grabbing coffee together for a short reunion in the mornings after spending all night talking about everything and nothing over the phone. It's as if a time before Yoongi didn't exist. It's comfortable. Oddly easy.

It's to your chagrin and surprise that you learn that Yoongi wants to take things slow. He doesn't rush you into bed. He's the perfect gentleman. A punk Disney prince, albeit with a sharp tongue. No even after the third and fourth date when you try to heat things up he's quick to pull away and tell you that he doesn't want to rush things. Not with you, he says. He wants you to trust him first. He wants you to be truly comfortable first. He doesn't want you to think that he's only in it for that.

You get it. In fact, in a twist, it actually makes things hotter. But the build-up is getting almost painful now. The sexual tension mounting to epic proportions. Your poor vibrator would hate you if it wasn't inanimate. He wasn't lying about loving cuddling. He's also apparently a man of extreme patience because no matter how many times you've felt his hard dick against your ass mid-spooning he's refused to act on it. Or let you. It's left you more than slightly frustrated on multiple occasions. It also wasn't helpful that it, in turn, made you an awkward mess. In fact, you remember jokingly mentioning some gibberish about your starfish quivering to try and crack the tension and for a while you thought he would never let you live that terrible joke down. Starfish, really? What were you thinking?

What you belatedly realize though is that his master plan fucking works. Because somewhere along the way you started letting down your guards. Somewhere along all your dates, you find yourself falling. Allowing yourself to be human. Allowing yourself to stop fearing love. Allowing yourself to trust. Without fighting it. Without running. It's no longer terrifying. It's no longer something that gnaws at you in the chasm of anxiety.

And just shy of three months into dating Yoongi you realize that you love him. Love. Abstract. Intangible. Yet not. It's the way he looks at you. The way he holds your hands. The way he thinks about the things that make you tick. The way the two of you try to find joy in the tiniest of things. Marie Kondo would tell you that you've finally found something that sparks joy. But it's not just from him. No, even when he's not around you feel lighter. Freer. Happier. You're still sarcastic. A bit of a bitch. But this time it's no longer from a place of longheld bitterness and pain, rather it's from your twisted brand of humor.

This realization comes to you as you after hanging out with Yoongi's friends and coming back to his place to just chill and listen to his vinyls. When his thumb soothingly rubs your hand as you curl up into his chest. It's so natural. So right. "I love you." The words come out a soft sigh, muffled slightly into his chest but he hears them loud and clear.

Yoongi twists, pulling your face up to his. "Did you just say you love me?"

"Min Yoongi I love you." You don't expect to hear anything back. You aren't saying it for affirmation or reciprocation. You just want him to know.

"I don't think I've ever heard better words. Say it again." That gummy smile is back. The one that stirs up butterflies. The one that warms your soul. The one that you fell in love with.

You swing your legs over his lap, straddling him as you stare into his eyes. "I. Love. You."

"God, you don't know how bad I've wanted to hear that. I love you so fucking much. So much. Holy fuck. I want to kiss you, can I kiss-" Before he can finish the sentence your lips are on his. Soft and pliant under yours, a lingering taste of leftover chapstick and nicotine. It's captivating. Dizzying. It's so easy to get drunk off his lips. His taste. The soft groans that leave him. Tongues intertwine as his hands roam your body before landing on your ass with a firm squeeze. It's messy. Needy. Sloppy but full of passion. As if you're the only cure for each other. Each emotion lingering in the air. Your hips swivel down, grinding against his pants as one hand weaves into your hair to pull your neck back and attach his lips to there.

You can feel the small bruises blossoming already. Love bites and harsh sucks leave cherry blossoms along your neck, mirroring the pattern of his own tattoo. Quiet moans of need are spilling out, desire pooling into your panties each time his teeth scrape against you. "You, doll, are the hottest thing I've ever seen. I could worship you. Dedicate a temple to you. Can't wait to feel you. God, I want you so bad. I love you so fucking much." Each word spills out from him like a deep moan, reverberating through his chest and chewing them off at the end. A loud mewl of satisfaction leaves you. He loves you. He loves you. You're in love. Over the moon. How could you ever think that love wasn't for you? How could you ever give up? How could you honestly think that you were destined to be a spinster when a man like him wants you?

His hands claw at your shirt, quick to remove your bra and leave you partially bare. Even with the slight chill seeping in through his apartment you still feel feverish. Each time his calloused hands roam your skin you can feel your temperature increase. God, you've never wanted someone so much. It's almost an out of body experience. Sex elevated off the mortal plane. You swear you might cum just from him touching you at this rate. His lips brush against your nipples before biting down, one hand reaching back into your hair as you arch into the touch.

"Wanna touch you Yoongi. Wanna feel you." The words come out drunkenly. Wobbly. Laced with honey through your swollen lips. When his grip lets go of your hair you lean down to his neck, pressing kisses around his tattoo, tongue laving at the branch as your teeth scrape against his soft skin. The deep moans hiccuping out of him are music to your ears, urging you on as your grind against him. Desperate for friction. Desperate for release. Your hands toy at his shirt before finally breaking away to pry it over his head. Your eyes dance over his half-naked form, taking in the sight before you. Almost every square inch is covered, ink swirling around in intricate stories. God, you're about the fuck the hottest living canvas.

His chest is heaving, breathing uneven as the two of you make eye contact again before lips come crashing together and he's picking you up. Carrying you out of the living room and into his bedroom, stopping occasionally to push you against a wall just to latch onto your neck or chest. By the time you make it to the bed, you're sure that for the first time in your life you could actually forgo foreplay. You're so wet that you can feel it seeping through your underwear and leaving a mark on your jeans. He stumbles onto the bed, your head hitting the wall with a loud thwack that has both of you pausing for a moment. "Shit, are you okay?"

"Mmokay, take your pants off." You rub at the sore spot before reaching up to place a reassuring kiss on his lips. You hold your breath as you watch him strip, dick springing out proudly. Smeared with precum. Red. Throbbing and twitching. "You don't wear underwear?"

He looks almost bashful for a moment. "It's laundry day actually..." At the sound of your giggles, he takes the opportunity while you're disarmed to unbutton your pants, freeing you from your jeans and leaving you in just your flimsy lacy panties. The mood shifts back again when you see the hunger in his eyes. As if he's staring at a feast. "Christ, can't wait to taste this pussy. Make you cry my name." His hands are shaking slightly as he slowly pries your underwear off, eyes narrowing on the way your juices stick to your underwear finally tossing it off the side of the best.

"Please taste me, I need you. I can't wait."

"Who knew you'd be so needy? So quick to beg for my tongue?" That usual lazy smirk is back on his face as he looks at you, hands hooking around your thighs and pulling them over his shoulders. His tongue flattens against your sex before you can respond, a choked moan drowning out your words. Jesus, he's good with his tongue. It moves slowly, languidly against your dripping pussy. Rhythmically. Diving into your folds only to swirl up around your clit, sucking lightly and releasing with a soft pop before going back down all over again. It's when his tongue dips even lower, swirling around your puckered rim that you can feel your eyes roll back and breathing cut off. Two fingers slip into your dripping cunt with ease, scissoring to stretch you. The dual sensation of his tongue on your ass and fingers filling you up has you clenching. Spiraling. Bright white flashing behind your eyes as a silent scream tries to leave your throat. Toes curling, his name finally rolling off your tongue as you chase the sensation, your orgasm consuming your senses. It leaves you dizzy. Panting. A mewling, drenched mess under him.

Through fuzzy ears you can hear his low voice, "God how do you taste so good? Fuck, I could watch you all day baby girl."

His fingers move slowly as he watches you return to earth, twitching underneath him at the oversensitivity. You feel so sated, but at the same time, you want so much more. The look in his eyes makes you hungry all over again. You want him to feel just as good as you. You look up with hooded eyes, hand wrapping around his drooling cock as you speak. "I wanna taste you too Yoongi."

His adam's apple bobs, hands leaving your thighs as he pulls you into another messy kiss. It's almost all teeth and tongue this time, a thin line of saliva breaks apart when you separate. You shuffle off the bed slowly, knees gingerly falling to the floor before looking back up as your tongue swirls around his head before pulling back to lick a long stripe along his prominent vein. You pepper tiny kisses along his base, one hand cupping his balls gently as the other one twists around his base. You envelop his velvety length in your mouth, working slowly into a steady rhythm. Each sigh from him, soft moans of pleasure spurs you deeper. Jaw aching slightly as you try to take him deeper, using your hand to help stimulate the places you can't reach. His hands grip your hair tightly as he reaches past your molars, pulling you off of him with a loud pop. "Sorry love, I'm not gonna last much longer if you keep doing that and I really want to fuck you."

You gulp at the way he's watching you. As if he's a predator and you're his prey. A feast for the night. You wouldn't have it any other way. He helps guide you back onto the bed, twisting you onto all fours as his hands glide over your ass. "Best ass I've ever seen. God, I've had so many wet dreams over this ass." His hand comes down sharply, the sting bringing a wave of pleasure to ripple through you as it soothingly rubs over. Your thoughts are quickly brought back to the throbbing between your thighs as his cock rubs against your swollen clit. "Please, fuck. God." You're incoherent, words stringing together slowly.

"What's my name doll?"

"Yoongi, come on. Fuck me before I bite your head off!"

"Yeah yeah, we'll see how much sass you have left in you when I'm done." You wiggle your hips impatiently as you hear him spit into his palm, adding lubrication before he glides into you. "Holy shit." He stays still for a moment as you spasm around the intrusion. He's just thick enough to have you crying out in pleasure, just long enough to have you seeing stars as he sinks deeper.

"Oh, fuck. Move, please move." You push back, sinker further onto him as he stays still before his hands snake around your throat.

"God, you are so mouthy. And as much as I normally love hearing you talk back right now I really just wanna fuck you." He pulls out almost completely before slamming back in, balls slapping into your clit in a way that has you seeing stars. Each movement is harsh, quick, with stamina and vigor you didn't foresee him having. The feeling of his hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off just enough circulation to stutter your breathing, has you gasping and rutting underneath him. Fuck, was sex supposed to feel this good? In your fucked out state, you can barely make out the sound of him chuckling darkly behind you. "Look at you baby, already fucked out and I've barely started. Do you wanna cum again baby? Already?"

"Fuck, please. Don't stop!" Your high pitched begging has him drilling in deeper, his free hand moving off your ass and onto your clit in quick circular motions that has you clenching around him. This time your orgasm is earth-shattering. Loud. Wet. When his hand finally lets go of your throat you face plant into the pillow, legs shaking around him as he keeps moving.

"You're so beautiful when you cum, did you know that? My pretty baby girl, all fucked out on my cock. Now that's a sight I never want to stop seeing." Another loud smack to your ass has you sobbing into the pillow, moans spilling out as your release gushes around him. "Jesus, how is your pussy so fucking wet? Are you always this wet?"

"No. It's just for you Yoongi."

"That's right. This pussy is mine, isn't it? Say it, doll."

"This pussy is yours Yoongi, fuck. Hold on, I wanna ride you." He stutters, pausing before pulling out so the two of you can shuffle around. You smirk as you crawl over his lap, one hand holding onto his cock as the other grabs his arm while you sink down. You're sure you look a fucked out mess, but so does he. Sweat is making his fringe cling to his forehead, kiss-swollen lips, hickies covering his neck visible even over his tattoos.

You neck snaps back as you sink down completely, the new angle bringing him right to your g-spot and making your legs shake in overstimulation. You fall forward onto his chest, pulling him into another kiss as you circle your hips in small figure eights. You bite down on his lower lip, pulling it between your teeth as you reach behind you and gently roll his balls in your hand. You delight in the way he groans, eyes rolling back at the sensation. "Keep doing that and I'm not going to last (y/n)."

"That's the point. Come on, cum with me Yoongi." It doesn't take much in your overstimulated state to get right back to the point again. Hanging over the edge as you dip your hand down to circle your clit, relishing in the dulcet moans from him as the two of you climax together. His nose scrunches up, eyebrows furrowing as he grips at your hips as you ride him into his own orgasm right after your third. It doesn't take long before he twitches inside you, painting your insides white as you slow down. At the feeling of him coming to his own completion you slump forward, your head falling into the crook of his neck as his hands circle your waist.

"Wow. That might easily have been the best sex of my life."

"Yeah, that was, wow." Your breathing is still unsteady, legs shaking as you feel him soften inside you.

"Did you realize you squirted?"

"Ah, yeah. Sorry to break your heart but that's actually somewhat normal for me."

"God that is so fucking hot." You laugh into his neck, exhaustion taking over as you sigh. "You know, the first time I ever saw you I knew. I just knew. You were all sass and fire, and I just knew that you were it. You were the one."

You wish you could reciprocate and say you thought the same thing when you first saw Yoongi, but you suppose it's better late than never. "I never would've guessed when I first met you that you liked cuddling, or saying such cheesy lines, or absolutely hated scary movies."

"Yeah, but you love that about me."

"Yeah. But I'm pretty sure I just love everything about you Min Yoongi."

"You know, when you say my full name like that I get oddly turned on. Do you think you're up for a round two in like, half an hour?"

You really should say no, you really just want to sleep. But just the thought has your mind spinning. Lord give you strength because you're going to need it, or at least better stamina, to last in survive this man.

You never would've guessed that love could feel so right. So natural. So normal. It isn't always a crazy spark. It isn't all fire and passion, even though it certainly has its moments. No, it's softer. Gentler. It grows and evolves with you. It changes. It takes work. And the two of you do somehow make it work. Even after moving in and trying to learn how to love someone when there's only one bathroom. Even after you get married and fall into a routine. Even after you get pregnant and go a smidge hormonally insane both times. Even on days when both of the kids drive you batty. Even when they leave home and leave you with an empty nest all over again. Because love is something beautiful. It's something innate within us all, it's just a matter of both parties wanting it enough. Working at it enough. And whenever anyone asks you what love means to you it was simple from that day forward. Min Yoongi.

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