#and thats why im struggling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vihrago-a · 1 year

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sometimes i regret being oc only bc of the amount of interaction i see canon multis or just canon chars get :/

#𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖈𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖘 [ ooc ] .#negativity tw #i feel like im just rlly tired #and thats why im struggling #so bad rn

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puppyeared · 9 months

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axolotl

#covers my face. this is dumb theyre dumb idk what was going thru my mind making this.h #i like this brush tho i think ill keep using it #i had this thought awhile ago that axolotls kind of remind me of macs ears. and i had a nice thought that if wukong ever saw one #he'd say the same thing. and thats why im sitting here with my head in my hands #macaque doesnt know if hes embarassed amused or straight up smitten. its all 3 #i have such a hard time drawing necks and shoulders.. mac is supposed to kind of hunch up his shoulders #the way some ppl do when they bow their neck down kind oflike. defensive-tucking in position when theyre making themselves small #i cant really get it to look right so it kinda looks like his head is sunken too close to his shoulders. so i guess ill keep practising #maybe if i brought his head closer to the collarbone it will look better. but i struggle with foreshortening so theres a chance itll #just look like his neck starts at the collar. ughhh #god have mercy if i ever draw hugs. i hate positioning the shoulder i hate hate hate it. 10 dead 17 injured #i have new design note ideas for em but ill post another time #myart #doodles #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #shadowpeach #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #lmk liu er mihou

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haunted-xander · 8 months

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I guess old feelings don't disappear that easily

#thinking about her always and forever #trauma isnt easy to overcome and even if/when u do its not like it just leaves #rynes so used to living in anothers shadow that figuring out herself must be hard #especially when its interwoven with the complicated relationship youve had with the person you cared for the most #like ryne clearly looked up to and cared for thancred deeply even when he was fucking up #a big part of why she was struggling so much the entire time was because she wanted thancred to care for her as HER #and not just minfilia reborn #but she couldnt really see herself as anything else and thancred had his Whole Deal going on #so even after things get better and their relationshop mends itself #shed probably still have some fears about the whole situation #like what if im just a replacement still?#and such #okya thats enough ranting. im so Normal about her ok im the Normalest ever.#ryne waters #thancred waters #minfilia warde #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne

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hakusins · 1 month

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lord have mercy...

he's overcome with uncontrollable lust

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wayward-wren · 10 days

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I'm hoping episode 3 let's Ruby see the dark side of the Doctor. I feel that adds a very important dynamic to a Doctor-companion relationship, when they see how dark he can be and still choose to travel with him early on.

Rose watching Nine drag Cassandra back to die. Eleven yelling at Amy "Nobody human has anything to say to me today!" Donna begging Ten to stop drowning the spider babies, and then again to go back and save someone in Pompeii.

Fifteen has been FUN and I know he can do emotional range, I've seen his fear and his tears already. But I want to see him dark, and I want to see Ruby respond to that. I think it would add a LOT of depth to their relationship and is something missing.

Plus showcasing the Doctor's flaws (selfishness) will make him a much more interesting character. I want to see some conflict between the Doctor and Ruby.

#wren rambles #doctor who #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #something about not letting heroes have flaws #and thus being one dimentional and less interesting #its a flaw i saw them slipping into a bit with thirteen #where she was always the Moral Voice #i LIKE it when the Doctor is instinctually cruel and has to be talked out of it and actively choose to be kind #it makes the character SO much more interesting #and raises the emotional stakes so much #so far fifteen has been FUN #but he hasnt been a rounded character #and until we see his flaws hes never gonna be in the runnings for a favourite #i think the doctor is an inherantly selfish character #and he has to make an active effort to NOT be #“Im his carer” “yes she cares so I dont have to”#im worried a six month time jump removed the opportunity for this kinda thing though #i Need to be able to look at the doctor and know. this is the man who killed a planet #and i havent been seeing that in the character recently #still early days yet though!#the doctor shouldnt be the moral center of the show--his companion should be #i think thats why i love 12 so much tbh #because his whole THING is to choose to be kind #without hope without witness without reward #being “good” (and whatever that means is a discussion for another day) doesnt come easily to him #love isnt an emotion its a promise #i want to see fifteen STRUGGLING to choose to do good #and i want to see ruby witness that

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d1sc01nf3rn0 · 2 months

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I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like #being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues #if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices #“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already #like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios #and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent #by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else #like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows #and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way #im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY #AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS #anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist #you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us #now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much #dunmeshi hell thoughts #weird rant i suppose #dungeon meshi #laios touden

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just-null-cult · 8 months

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i've always wanted to try out this trend! i didnt think i drew him that different. i was wrong. very wrong.

hes so baby girl in my style what the fuck. oh i know, i was just drawing what gege meant to draw. dw, i got his telepathic brainwaves 👍

[time lapse + my headcanons for Noritoshi's appearance under the cut]

some headcanons i have while drawing him are semi obvious while others are bc i like it ahehahhaheha

cupid's bow lips! this was semi inspired by Mizuki Umetsu, the actor for Noritoshi in the jjk stage play! hes so. pretty. perfect guy for the role imo! i was captivated therefore my views changed.

longer hair! the thought that his bangs(? are the same length, or longer, as the rest of his hair is nice.. it also makes his inevitable haircut much more refreshing! i also just like long hair and its a fucking waste not to do whatever the i want.

thicker brows and visible eyelashes! i naturally draw thicker eyebrows because it looks pretty, but the eyelashes is so fucking canon bro. dont even fight me on this, you'll lose. i read a fic about Noritoshi where it said he took good care of himself and his appearance inspired jealousy. that fucked me up man, so now i draw him as beautiful as i can.

monolids! I've looked through the manga and i think its highly implied that Noritoshi has monolids? yk those lines in between the eye and eyebrow, he doesnt have them in the manga. i thought it was because of the expressions he had, but no. the others have them, except geto! so geto also having monolids is so fr in my head. i like that feature abt him.

loose hairs! the hairs that i draw on his face. they make him look so cute and a bit more relaxed. he's not trying to be perfect nor have a single strand out of place. he's just a bit more at ease... though if there's something important he has to go through, he sharpens up. becomes.. stiffer?

I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE HIS CHEST LOOK A BIT BIGGER IN MY STYLE AND I WANT TO APOLOGIZE, BUT I'D BE A LIAR. DOES THIS COUNT AS A HEADCANON??? I JUST THINK... SINCE. YK. HES AN ARCHER. AND DOES TRAINING. AND COMBAT. AND DOES ALL THOSE HIGH JUMPS... HIS CHEST. ITD BE A BIT BIGGER FOR HIS STATURE.. omfg. that'd imply that his legs are fucking insane. and his arms too, since he has to pull back all those arrows so quickly.. oh my fuck. this. this is a revelation. what are you hiding under those robes noritoshi...???? one day.. one day we'll see...

oh my fucking god i forgot that i wrote shit while drawing. please ignore my fucking stupid writings AND THE STUPID ASS THING IN THE MIDDLE I FORGOT ABT WHILE DRAWING..

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #dawg my pc is so old. this drawing kept killing it off every few hrs #but nothing will stop my preaching of the gospel #ALSO I DIDNT SAY BUT DRAWING IN THE FUCKING ANIME STYLE WAS SO FUCKING TOUGH???#LIKE I FEEL LIKE IT LOOKS HALF ASSED BUT I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.#I STRUGGLED HARD BRO #FUCK #but i also learned a lot while doing it so it was hella fun #ahaha..... his lips are cupid's bow.. meaning his words are cupid's arrows.... meaning he could make you fall so hard istg #and hes an archer..... ahhaha... a nickname you could give him is cupid. ahahah. thatd be so cute. ahahaha <- insane #also me explaining fucking eyelid lines was spectacular. wheres my teaching license #AND I CANT FUCKING WAIT FOR THE STAGE PLAY DAWG. noritoshi's clothes flowy and in action..... im gonna study and fawn the FUCK out of that #as for the time lapse. ignore how i ignored the guidelines. why the fuck do i do that. bc im a cult leader thats why. dont question me #AND I APOLOGIZE FOR MY REVELATION AT THE END THERE. IM A DEGENERATE AT HEART. BUT I MUST REMAIN CLEAN. IF NOT TUMBLR GODS WILL KILL OUR CUL #but like i said i can be suggestive. heh. heh.#peep how i said [blank under the cut] heh. wow im such an online person.#oh how cool of me

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randomminty · 5 months

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Are you on team Lorelei x Clair?

(In the most normal tone possible) yea i guess

#shfbrutiewhufibfvjfdhgjsdhfhhsdjfhdfkfshhgfdhfkjdsnfsd #art tag #pokemon #ask tag #gym leader clair #elite four lorelei #imagine ur in the e4 w someone but they leave and the next time you see them years later theyre dating your cousin #ALSO theres so many old drawing reqs im so sorry i WILL get to them 👍 lots of very good ones #to the person that requested dragon miku i love you. but also im struggling so hard to draw her idk why FJGSFIHBFRS #ill get it down eventually i realllyyyy like her and wanna draw smth for her #ok thats all. gootbye #their hair ties match did you know. whats up w that

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galaxygermdraws · 9 months

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Saw this and realized I had only one job to do with it. Aka, the fact that it's 2023 and I'm like one of 5 Enderskizz Enjoyers left in the fandom. I like genuinely struggled drawing Angel Skizz I will not lie. Was a genuine struggle because. He looks too normal to me. Where is his ourple /lh

(reblogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu)

#skizzleman #mcskizzleman #because enderskizz started in 3L i guess #trafficblr #bc thats where he began to me #srsly tho im surprised enderskizz isnt NEARLY as popular as it could be #does nobody remember his arms literally turning purple!!!#his arms were purple!! his blue eyes being tinted red made them look like a warm purple!#also funny enough the canon skizz was not that hard to draw #it was literally ONLY fanon i struggled with #its bc hes not as fluffy #i literally do not see a lot of fluffy skizz idk why its literally canon #ALSO THIS ISNT TO BASH ON ANYONES HEADCANONS #I just do not understand angel skizz #ik its bc demon imp but i never got that either im a dragon imp truther

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angronsjewelbeetle · 24 days

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Okay uh, it turned into a fic??

I don't...have an excuse. My brain just. Uh. I'm sorry?

First kisses: Mortarion exclusive ~♡

Probably out of character so um. Apologies for that.

“Clumsy,” he mutters, but you can hear the way his tone lifts with amusement. He shakes his head, some of his long hair slipping out from the bun he’s pinned it back in as he lifts you upright with ease, dusting off some of the flour from your arm. He gives you a quick once-over, you playfully wipe some of the flour off on his shirt. He scoffs and reaches over to take the screaming kettle off the stove, “it should be ready soon,” he says, right as the timer chimes insistently. Mortarion passes you the oven mits and you lean down, the familiar smell of chamomile wafting up with the steam as he slips the ceramic lid onto the teapot and you bring the small loaf out of the oven, setting it on the counter. “Normally it’s cooked in the coals of a fire,” he says, “you were saying that earlier. And once it’s cooled down a bit, you eat it with syrup, right?” you reply, watching as the taps the base of the loaf and nods. “Hollow,” you say to the noise, “that’s how you know it’s cooked,” he hums, looking pleased, scarred lips twisted into a little smile as you pour yourself some tea, “where did I put that bread knife?” he asks himself, turning around to survey the kitchen. He spots it by the sink and potters back over to the loaf, slicing off a piece and watching the puff of steam rise from within. He picks up the jug of syrup and pours it over the slice, offering it to you as a bit of the dark golden liquid drips over his hand. You take a bite. The syrup is thick and sweet and the bread is thick and warm, you can feel your cheek getting sticky and hear Mortarion scoff again affectionately as he cuts a thick slice for himself. Both are demolished in mere moments and you find yourself chuckling at him as he licks his hand like a cat. “Let me get that for you,” he says, glancing around before sinking to one knee, wincing as his rear thuds against the cabinet as he slouches down close enough to reach you. He grasps your chin gently and turns your face to the side, leaning in. He licks the sticky syrup off, tongue hot against your cheek. He licks across the corner of your lips and pauses. He pulls away a little, you look at him, breath caught in your throat. “May I kiss you?” He asks, voice quiet. You nod. His lips are soft but dry, and all you can smell is syrup and chamomile.

#wh40k #warhammer 40k #warhammer x reader #primarch x reader #mortarion x reader #I dont....oh god #Morty lovers im sorry #i dont think i did your husband justice #pt iii is in the works im just struggling rip #first fic ive posted and it is #not..great #but thats why i posted it. cant get better without help #also ya'll are making damper because that shit is GOOD #had to resist the urge to give him a billy and just have a scene with him just swinging the fuckin thing around like a madman #🐉anon

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hivemindscape · 1 year

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saw that super wholesome video of a girl reuniting with her brothers and thought ✨✨ Hug Refs ✨✨ leaving the context of this up to you, i wonder what you cook up :'D

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skunkes · 7 months

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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments #talkys #inspired by recent me and friend events #and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect #but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person #and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes #its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio #but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being #ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em #long post #delete later #sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late #but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different #people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people #this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the #time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling #part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info #like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life #but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em #some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things #and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^

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toffeebeantable · 1 year

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From @/marrymeserizawa’s Wawaweek! Day 2 Fashion

I would have drawn him in some of the official arts too but I don’t have enough time😔

#I FINALLY BROKE FREE OF ARTBLOCK ITS OVER FOR YOU FUCKERS #and also my education because i have SATs tmr and i do NOT want to study #this past month has been hell i had so many comic ideas but i dont DRAW FOR SHIT #JVSJSVSJV IVE BEEN STRUGGLING EVERYDAY #IM SO HAPPY TO BE FREE FROM IT BUT I HAVE SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK IM SO MAD WHY WHY THIS TIMING #mp100 #serizawa #serizawa katsuya #katsuya serizawa #serizawaweek2023 #wawaweek #idk if thats a tag lol #edit: SHI T I FORGOT TO DRAW THE BACKPACK FOR THE ORANGE HOODIE ONE his arm is just there awkwardly now #toffee art

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spectrumgarden · 4 months

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So often I basically just want to post "hey this is something I experience, somewhat stereotypical autistic trait. Let me explain what it feels like" but then I overthink that it isnt worthy of sharing and I delete it all again.

#i dont know why really #it also feels weird when some of the stuff that really makes me struggle gets reblogged by many people #who all say stuff like yes this is what its like #because my knee jerk reaction is something like. you cant understand. because majority of my life there were indeed no people around who-#-actually understand. and im still stuck in the mindset of no one is like me. after i willingly tried to get close to community of people-#-who is kind of like me. sometimes.#so thats always weird to handle. its not bad on little things that dont affect me much.#but when its bigger things. more painful things. isolating things. etc. its exhausting to be agreed with #im working on it and its getting better but still

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zapsoda · 3 months

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ok but blatantly and inarguably a lot of "accepting" parents would rather their children be ~nonbinary~ and/or ~nontransitioning~ than binary transgender, and this doesnt devalue exorsexism (not only because it is another form of exorsexism) but because it is a fact

#when i was first talking to my mother about being transgender she struggled with it a lot #and she Asked why i couldnt just “be nonbinary” because that would be easier for *her* to 'deal with'#and my parents are currently accepting but that is still a thing transgender youth have to deal with #the fact that some binary trans people feel the need to misgender themselves in order to make cis people feel more comfortable #because *cis* people view nonbinary trans identities as 'less extreme' or 'less trans'#and that is both transphobia and exorsexism on the part of the cis person!!!#why must we blame other trans people for the situations cis people put us into #and to bring up some other bullshit i was whining about yesterday #being told that *really* got to me. because i didnt choose any of this!#if i could just not be trans and not have to deal with all of the pain i would have!#it has made my life endlessly difficult! if i did have a choice i dont see why i would have chosen to be trans #my family was desperate for a baby girl. all of my aunts and uncles wanted a girl child but they couldnt get one. until my parents #and im just throwing that all away #why would i do that on purpose. disappoint my entire family like that #anyways #got sidetracked #thats not the point #im gonna go eat breakfast ahahah

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frostbite-the-bat · 1 month

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talked w/ a friend about this and wanted to post something similar yesterday after a convo i saw also

about people criticizing ttcc / ttcc fans for just... being cog fans? being cog centric? usually coming from people who only like the toons.

and everyone likes what they like! it's okay! but saying that people who like the cogs are horrible and support the bad things they do, is just blatantly wrong. i thought we knew that enjoying villainous and morally Bad / grey characters is... okay? it doesn't mean you support what they do. it's interesting to explore these topics.

i've seen many people just... paint anyone who likes the cogs as horrible because they're "apologists of x and y" and... i dunno. rubs me the wrong way! you do have a point and recognize the cogs do bad things, but liking them as characters means nothing about who you are as a person.

and this is not to say that people who are in toontown for the toons are bad. hell! they are right this IS toontown. i may be on the cog liker side but i like the toons! maybe ocs more than the npcs - mostly because i like my friends and the sheer creativity the toons can bring out!!

SO what i wanna say... i dunno. let's not point fingers...? let's have fun in a goofy cartoon game together??? also complaining about people liking VILLAIN ROBOTS on TUMBLR is kind of funny to me. do you realize where you are. but then again a lot of this i see on discord and in-game as well since i avoid things on tumblr... i am a sensitive little fella i avoid misty fight bc of One Really mean "Critic" guy i saw there and i have been shivering in my bootsies since. so you get me

but like yes ttcc is more cog centric but... that's okay? things could be written better and i still wanna speak on it, and i do thing the toons deserve attention and better writing... but the fact it focuses on the cogs isn't... bad? if you don't like how con centric it is you can go play ttr...? god forbid people have fun and explore the villain's side of things...? i'm not saying either toontown server is better or worse than the other... and everyone can like their own things!!

but like... people will just like the cogs and that's okay and it doesn't make you bad. let's all be friends okay? both sides may be going at each other's necks in-game and the cogs in fact do horrible things - but it's what makes them fun, and it gives the toons things to do in the game!! but we don't gotta !!!!!!!! i may be really sarcastic and sometimes mean in private but like that's me just privately sassing, deep down i think people should just... y'know..? enjoy things.

so yea that's the guzma / cathal thought of today. toon people cog people both people are all awesome as fuck and you keep doing what you're doing i love you toontown isn't toontown without you

#anyways omg god forbid ppl are cog kissers on the robot kissing website /silly #but like!! tt/r may not be for everyone and tt/cc may not be for everyone and THATS OK!! ur not gonna like everything!!#like i accepted tt/r isnt for me but its mostly bc they dont show cog health specifically and i struggle with these things but !! i #heard they are updating that so i might be able to play without getting bored / frustrated again ^^ i havent played properly in yeaaaars #i will still prefer clash bc fixation and?? i LIKE ROBOBTS....!#but tewtow is tewtow its all swag. the least toony thing u can do is bully someone for Liking Robobt. be niceys #like ya i admit im not perfect i also dont like people andhave so much one sided beef and i am sensitive to so many things and i complain #in private but at the end of the day its to make myself feel better and i KNOW to not engage and look away and work on feeling better #bc this stuff does Heehoo upset me bc Mental Health Probulem. but i know everyone should and can do their own thing and have fun #i may complain about (redacted ship) all the time and i dont get it at all but...? bro... just have fun... be free. im not here to stop you #im just not gonna interact as i should. good for both of us! joyous world! happy that ur happy!!!!#why complain abt ppl just Enjoying Cogs like that though................................................ do you not like fun #this is not at anyone specific #my friend did show me tags of a post anonymously #and i vague a person whos name i dont know ingame like A YEAR AGO #and a convo what happened in a server a while back. but its not anyone specific i just wanted to like. speak my thoughts #lets be frense... and if not thats okay lets not argue either then we all stay in our lanes

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