#and the only fucking time we get a lesbian sex scene it's off screen?

[hihimissamericanbi]

FAVE HP SMUT CREATORS

Ever since I got that lovely anon asking for the best smut I've ever read, it got me thinking about some of my favorite smut creators in general.

So here is a very non-exhaustive list of fan-fucking-tastic smut writers and artists I've come across in the HP fandom that weren't mentioned (shamefully) in my last batch. Feel free to add to the list! We must keep the people fed.

xoxo go take a sip of cold water girl

WRITERS

@spookymoonie

Lord Espooky came into this fandom guns a-blazing with their kink headcanon a day for Wolfstar and it has spiraled from there. They GET IT. He has a super well-organized masterlist pinned to his tumblr ft tons of different kinks, fic lengths, scenes, etc. Go. Now.

@fiveht

The definition of IYKYK. Daddy kink isn't super my thing, but Five makes me enjoy it. If you vibe with age gap daddy Remus and pretty boy Sirius, their Adore series is a must-read. They also have a stellar A/B/O Wolfstar fic plus podfic and write some Marvel too!

@greenvlvetcouch

An absolute legend in this fandom. Wolfstar, Jeggy, Rosekiller. Gritty, chewy, embodied sex.

@emeryhall

Emery writes sex the way some people breathe. Like it's just part of the narrative. It's SO punchy. And also she is the queen of Crack Smut.

@kaaaaaaarf

Patron saint of Wolfstar hatefucks. mic drop.

@cancerravenclaw

We snagged MK over to Wolfstar from the clutches of Dramione. Her series "mk's kink exposé" could also be called "celine's kink exposé." I'll just leave that there.

@wolfpants

Everything they create is magic, but they are especially known for rare pairs and Dronarry.

WRITERS AND ARTISTS

@aspiring-artist-em

The queen of Lesbian Wolfstar. Both art and fic. Also queen of humiliation and pain kink and Walburga psychological trauma. ye be warned.

@upthehillnsfw / @upthehillart

I am afraid no one is ready for this art. Truly. Tons of different ships, positions, acts. I gasp every time. And their Pansmione fic is epic (which I have talked about before).

ARTISTS

@industrations

I highly recommend getting on Indi's Patreon so you can enjoy their NSFW drawings, mostly Wolfstar and Jegulus, occasional Rosekiller. Too many iconic moments to count.

@waxingrunes

The officially-sponsored artist of Five's Adore series. Look, their work is nothing short of indulgent. Shhhh don't worry about the physics just let it happen. And by It I mean Remus' big dick hands.

@basiatlu

By beloved. The one. The only. Bosh's drawings are so ALIVE. They leap off the screen. Her Drarry is nothing less than iconic. She also dabbles in other characters/ships like Wolfstar and Blackcest. Siriusly, you can't go wrong.

DRARRY SMUT

OKAY, Drarry people. There are so so many excellent Drarry smut writers it is impossible to name them all. Here are but a tiny handful I have pulled from my bookmarks. I'm happy to rec specific fics if asked :)

@cavendishbutterfly, @bixgirl1, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @shiftylinguini, @kbrick, @fluxweeed, @academicdisasterfic

MORE

I'm tagging those other creators from older asks because I can't put this list out there without them on it <3

@crushofdoves @we-are-swearwolves @tenthousandyearsx @theresthesnitch @lqtraintracks Quietlemonhush @cuddlebugsirius

#celine spills #celine's library #smut recs #hp smut #wolfstar smut #drarry smut #jegulus smut #HI FRIENDS i love you all #celine's flirting again #fic recs #hp fic recs #fan art #hp fanart #wolfstar art #drarry art #jegulus art

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

what the hell is the male or female gaze and why are zutarians obsessed with it

You know how some scenes in movies and shows, especially those from a few decades ago, have some scenes that exist solely to show off how hot an actress is, but in a really, really weird way that doesn't feel like a hot moment in a story, but a story suddenly being interrupted and turned into a cheap porno? You know, those scenes where there's a conversation going on, but the camera is practically up the actress's ass?

Some feminists starting pointing out how these scenes neither fitted the tone of the stories, nor were all that appealing, how many of the actresses were coerced into them, how many directors treated them like shit during said scenes, and how some of these actresses were MINORS, and how often times this was the only role of women in stories. "Look hot for the benefit of this male director and male audience members that think women are sexual objects, then disappear."

They also noted how, in some states of the US and in other countries, some set-in-stone rules about what things related to sex could or could not be shown to certain audiences had some sexist undertones. For exemple, a scene with no nudity of a male character getting a blowjob from his girlfriend was ALWAYS considered less inappropriate than him eating her out - again, even with no nudity or anything too explict. Violent rape scenes with the girl crying her eyes out for several minutes did not change movie ratings, while a quick scene showing a girl getting to orgasm did (but a guy having an orgasm wasn't a problem).

There was also the classic "Guy was in charge of directing a lesbian sex scene, made it look like a horny 11-year-old boy's very confused notion of how sex without a penis could even work."

They refered to that kind of thing by the catch all term" the male gaze".

Some people thought the term was great. I always felt it was unnecessary and a bit pretencious since we already had terms for those things: Misogyny, double-standards, exploitation of minors, abuse of authority, puritans seeing consensual sex/sex positivity as inherently more sinful/inappropriate than violence (even sexual violence), clueless men that think the experiences of gay women are the same as this fantasies, or just the regular crap movie trying to get the audience horny enough to watch it even though it has nothing to offer.

There was also a tiny, small, huge with problem with it: it implied men were always the bad guys, and women always the victims. No room to discuss women that abused their authority (look at the literal thousands of abusive "mom managers" of child/teen stars that gladly allowed hollywood creeps to perv on their children) or the men, and underage boys, that were also sexualized to absurd degrees (plenty of the infamous Twilight scenes of the werewolf guy constantly being over-sexualized happened when he was still a teenager).

And, it also led to a bunch of very stupid consequences:

1 - People claiming any kind of eroticism on screen was ALWAYS bad, inherently exploitative, served no purpose in a story, and could only be appealing to guys, not girls.

2 - People labeling ANYTHING they didn't like as "male gaze" or "male fantasy" - see Zutarians claiming Kataang is the writers' incel fantasy of the Nice Guy getting the girl that is totally not into him).

3 - Women labeling anything they personally liked "female gaze" as a way to imply their opinion was "superior" due to supposedly being "feminist" - see Zutarians claiming Zutara is the "female gaze", the "feminist ship", or that all the fanon content for it "by women, for women (and guys that are not sexist)."

These words are just like toxic, problematic, abusive, etc. It's the classic "There was a point to this at first, it got derailed pretty fucking fast, and now annoying, pretencious people on the internet will use this term incorrectly FOREVER because they think it makes their opinion objectively correct."

(The only difference being, again, I personally always felt like "male gaze" had some problems even without the internet watering it down to meaning "I'm right and you're wrong because I'm better than you")

#anti zutara #male gaze #female gaze #things are not that fucking simple

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #2 - Netsuzou Trap NTR

If the title wasn’t enough of a red flag, let me go and raise several more for you because ladies, this anime was BAD.

Content warning: sexual situations with dubious consent and themes of domestic violence

Hoo boy.

I’m not going to go into any graphic detail about any of that, and tbh the show doesn’t go so far that I had to step away, but damn it was pretty uncomfortable!

All the reviews for this on Crunchyroll were one star. Seems a lot of people got the same impression I did.

So the basic premise here is that two girls who are childhood friends both have boyfriends, when one girl starts making sexual advances at the other under the premise of “practicing for our boyfriends”. This keeps happening over time until one of their relationships breaks down over it and the other relationship is revealed to be a pretty bad and abusive one, but eventually both girls are able to admit that they have real feelings for each other and they both leave their relationships and are happy together. That’s the whole show.

There are several problems with the way these events are depicted within the show that make it hard to watch.

Black hair girl keeps coming onto pink hair girl, who spends the whole show ruminating on how weird the whole situation is for her. She doesn’t seem to like it! That’s clear to everyone watching from the Crunchyroll review section.

What they were going for is that she’s actually suppressed her romantic feelings for her friend since they were younger and she’s been put in a situation where she now gets to be intimate with the girl she loves, so she doesn’t refuse. But she takes so long to come to this realisation that most of the show just feels bad to watch.

Then there’s the boyfriends. You’ve got one nice boy and one evil boy.

Nice boy (brown hair) is honestly a pretty great guy. I liked him. Always felt bad for him. He’s even still able to remain amicable with pink girl after they break up. He is a fucking champion. He’s able to help pink hair come to terms with her feelings by telling her, “while we were together it always felt to me like you had feelings for someone else”. Stan him.

Evil boy (grey hair) is such an inhuman kind of character. He is not sympathetic in the slightest. His backstory is never explored and he’s just evil. His entire deal can be summed up with one of his lines, “I hate women, I just like sex”. Just an unrepentant misogynist. It would have been nicer if he got some kind of comeuppance by the end but nothing even happens. I guess he and black hair girl break up off screen.

Now apparently this show is a terrible adaption of the manga it’s based on. I believe that, but I don’t think I’ll be picking it up any time soon. There’s actually good lesbian manga I could be reading.

Final thoughts

This show was trashy as fuck but it at least had the decency to be short and the girls did start dating each other by the end. They actually used the word “lesbian” at one point which they don’t usually in anime. But this was a bad show. Don’t watch it. I have suffered for you even though I know you didn’t ask.

Pros

12 9-minute episodes made it easier to swallow

gay ending

Cons

trashy as fuck

deeply uncomfortable sex scenes all throughout

toxic characters in toxic relationships with little to no character development

only 12 9-minute episodes? That sucks on principle.

And I’m giving this one a 2/10

#lesbian anime review

[starshipsofstarlord]

Online dating

darcy lewis x reader / masterlist

summary; darcy decides to try a dating app, least to say, the guy isn’t anything like his picture. and thus she ditches him, and finds someone else in a hot second / warnings; the oc guys in this fic are dicks, homophobia, darcy being bae, swearing, mentions of sex and cheating, mentions of joy x reader.

he was a polar opposite to what he had portrayed his online self to be, screw the internet! this date was truly tragic, darcy had plenty of things that she could be better using her time for, rather than sitting opposite this oaf, that was licking his unappealing lips, and staring at the waitress when he thought that she didn’t notice.

“huh?” the scientific doctor pulled her phone out, ushering a puzzled expression on her face as she stared at the blank screen. she of course recognised that no one was making any attempts to contact her, but he didn’t know that. “one second.” she held her finger up, bringing the phone to her ear as she blabbered into the speaker that was inherently catching nothing that she was saying.

“slow down jane.” darcy falsely ushered, using her hands to exaggerate the conversation in her head. she put the phone down, a facade of panic elaborating behind her spectacle adorned eyes as she grabbed her belongings in a frenzy, standing upright and out of her seat. “im so sorry, my friend has just hit some guy with her car and she needs some moral support. tonight is going to have to be cut extremely short.”

short was a relief, but the hopeful expression on this dude’s face wasn’t. perhaps it was cruel to leave this guy hanging, and well, she couldn’t blame him for wanting more, she sent him an awkward smile as he began to speak. “we should do this again some time - properly.” darcy wasn’t dumb, she noticed how his eyes sped to the side as the curvy waitress walked by.

“sure...” no, definitely not. darcy was well aware that she was wasting her time with this moron, she didn’t need a man, let alone a dweeb of one. a quick wave was all she bade him as she exited the coffee shop, only to become engrossed in a scene erupting on the local streets. there was a woman, flinging shirts, and a bra within the bundle that looked as though it was not her size, what was she thinking, clearly it wasn’t, at said example of figurative masculinity.

“screw you durkus!” any guy named ‘durkus’ was basically a label confirming that he was a dick. “i don’t need you, nor the next man! i am a well established woman who has done more for this country than you could ever know, you’re dust beneath my feet, a pathetic layer of residue that i want nothing more to brush off.” perhaps she was being harsh, but it sounded like he deserved it.

from the red lipstick, that the woman was not at all sporting, from the random bra that she had flung at her partner, it was a safe bet to assume that he had cheated on her. darcy plodded closer, listening whimsically in, and realising that her life was pretty calm, there were no longer asguardians or dark elves infiltrating her life, nor the work that she had attained to field in.

she had only recently earned herself the title of doctor, and it was frustrating that people would assume that she opted for a profession in a hospital room, or they would forget the professional endorsement all together, and address her as ‘miss lewis’. she was no one’s puppet, she had scaled herself up the ladder of her career to be where she was now, but another thing that she was alongside such a wave of potential was a feminist.

this dick was shouting in the streets, calling her inexplicable names such as a ‘whore’, and a ‘two faced bitch’. having the ability to hear the insults brew anger in her stomach, she couldn’t just stand there. “what are you going to do, turn into a complete lesbian?” now that was the last straw, it had darcy marching over, and promptly she shoved the guy, making him drop all the items that were grasped in the basket of his arms.

a flabbergasted ‘huh’ was riveted from him, and it made darcy smirk as she attuned his attention towards her; the stranger that had gotten involved in his public display of disrespect and homophobia. “how about you watch your damned mouth before i make sure you can’t open it again. and whilst you’re at it, get some new shirts, you’re not a model, unless you’re the kind that are put on prison pamphlets.”

“who the fuck are you?” he spat his saliva on the ground by darcy’s feet, establishing her with the information that her first impression of this dick had been correct. women just knew with this kind of thing, they could sense trouble from a mile away. “you know what, keep that crazy bitch. maybe you can help her store her katanas, and go on double dates with danny rand and his plus one. rather you than me.”

“don’t ask.” the woman shook her head, tired of the drama that durkus always seemed to bring. she had enough trouble, involving work and extracurricular night time activities, without him adding to them. darcy presented her with a sweet smile, picking up the box of random bits and bobs that was on the floor. “that’s just work stuff, i’m moving offices and as i came to collect some things from our apartment, and i found him- well let’s just say he wasn’t alone.”

“that was pretty easy to pick up on. how’d you not realise that you were dating a total sleaze?” she was blunt with her enquiry, though the woman shrugged, a guilty expression cowering upon your features, like an ashamed shadow. a small, attractive smile graced her lips, secrets hidden beneath the span of the expression.

“oh, i knew. i just had to pretend to be happy, so that my ex, or well now, my other ex joy would stop chastising me, claiming that i haven’t got over her. she’s so up her own ass sometimes and it drives me- shit, i’m sorry, you don’t know me, nor do you need to hear about my problems.” the y/h/c haired woman shook her head, stretching her hand out to miss lewis. “i’m y/n, thanks a bunch for helping me out back there.”

darcy accepted her handshake, completing the action as she smiled. “i’m darcy.” this woman didn’t need to know about her doctor title, in fact, darcy was keen on knowing everything about her instead. “so’d how you meet him?” referring to the person that had most recently became y/n’s ex. y/n was relieved that darcy had shown up, she was sure she’d have used her martial art training for more than composition; she’d have kicked durkus’ flat ass.

“on a dating app.” it was a normal answer, she wouldn’t share the intel that before that she had saved his ass whilst wearing a black hood, stopping him from getting mugged in the dead of night. perhaps she should have saved someone else that particular late evening. darcy couldn’t help but let a small laugh out, finding both their circumstances quite amusing. she was sure a similar situation would have unfolded if she had decided to regularly see the date that she ditched.

“online dating man, it sucks, am i right?” it had quite the reputation, for the two of them especially. “maybe we should just date each other.” she joked, though she was being partially serious. it felt right, they had bumped randomly into one another’s faulted situations on the same day, it almost felt like fate, though that subject was too cheesy to say aloud.

“well doctor lewis, i would not at all mind going on a date with you.” darcy frowned at the title that she had been called, pointing at the side of the woman’s jacket, that had a recyclable label stuck upon the material. “so you majored in science, if i am correct?” finally, someone got it! she could get used to that.

y/n did not appear as a deity nor a creature from another realm, she was normal. or so as far as the eye could tell, in fact, she did not suspect a thing from this woman, much less to be a defender of the earth that worked in a small and less know league than the avengers, yet still roamed the us to protect its people.

darcy though had won this battle for her though, giving her a moment of peace from fighting, and had idly sent durkus on his route far away. y/n could get used to not being the hero all the time, more so if this doctor was her knight in shining armour.

#darcy lewis x reader #darcy lewis imagine #darcy lewis fanfiction #Darcy lewis oneshot #kat dennings x reader #Darcy x reader #Darcy imagine #thor x reader #marvel women x reader #imagines #imagine #xreader #marvel x reader #Darcy lewis ff #darcy lewis x you #darcy lewis

[buddielove]

Hi! I'm a gay fan of 911 and I have a question about the whole Buddie fandom. As much as I like Buck and Eddie, it's frustrating that a HUGE part of the fandom is pushing for these two characters to get together instead of putting energy into supporting Hen & Carla and Michael & Dave. Not to mention Carlos and TK in Lone Star. Can you explain to me the appeal of wanting these two men together? Wouldn't it be more interesting to see two heterosexual males just be able to bond in a non-toxic fashion? That's something we don't get to see often on television.

Hey! This is MAD long lmao I am so sorry! You caught me on a day I felt like talking! Also this took like a year to answer you lolololol. This does have a few ʻhot takesʻ so please be warned! So like in this essay....

So first I am also apart of the LGBTQIA+ community, so I do understand how it could come across as a fetish or being non supportive of the current canonically LGBTQIA+ characters, however I think a lot of the interest around Buddie and the want for them to be confirmed as a couple is how they are being written. Me personally I knew since s2 e1 Buck and Eddie were written not as rivals but as two people who would eventually become friends, but it wasn’t until the Christmas episode with the elf assuming Buck was Chris’s dad and Eddie’s partner that I was like ‘hold on!’ because I was really hoping Abbey would return and I didn’t see Eddie as a possible Buck live interest because of that. The elf’s comment wasn’t played off like most other shows would (think Dean and Sam arriving anywhere in Supernatural) it made me go back and look at the other episodes to see exactly how Buck and Eddie were being framed/written. And as we have moved into further seasons I think there has been a shift in how Buddie is being written, in s3 it was very much like two people progressing into a deeper friendship then the blood clot/lawsuit gets in the way and they both have to deal with emotions surrounding that, then Buck’s response to Eddie being trapped (we see how is he when Boddy is trapped in a fire WITH A GUNMAN, it’s emotional but not to the point is is with Eddie), even the love interests feel very pushed on us and there’s so little banter between Buddie about their gfs and how they feel about these new beginnings. It feels off, not like a friendship in the slightest, more like two people trying to force something and not wanting to deal with any other feelings. Then when Eddie gets shot and reveals Buck is Chris’s legal Guardian in the event Eddie dies, that’s huge, and he did this after only a year of knowing Buck (I have friends with kids. I’ve known one of them for FIVE years, I’m at their house every week, the kid calls me family. I’m person #10 on the list of ‘who gets my kid if I die’, not #1 lol) It just feels like it’s all building up to something, and people are getting tired of waiting for that something! We’re all emotionally tired from the past two years, and probably from many shows queerbaiting us and this is something that could happen, seems to be something the actors are ok with and the fans want. So why do they keep drawing it out. This isn’t about us demanding they ignore the chance to write a healthy platonic male friendship, or forcing two characters to be gay, it’s about holding the writers to what they’ve implied and seeing what could come of it.

Also think of it like this; If Buddie is confirmed it will still be a good example of a healthy friendship which then developed into something else, like Booth/Bones! Showing the natural progression of friendship to relationship that happens a lot in real life. It’s two men who previously (on screen at least) have only been with woman, but now they have an emotionally connection with someone which they then develop and explore. This could be 911’s first nontoxic depiction of two gay characters coming together, because sorry not sorry the canon couples aren’t perfect (which does humanize them) but they also reenforce harmful troupes that plaque the LGBTQIA+ community, which I’m sure you understand: TK was a drug addict, who only got with Carlos at first cause he was hot and sex was TK’s new addition (all gay men are sex addicts who do drugs and sleep with anything that moves). Carlos was ashamed and wanted to keep TK on the downlow (poc gay men want to pretend to be straight but have free access to gay sex). Hen cheated on Karen seemingly the first chance she got (lesbians can’t handle monogamy when pushed, and cheat on their long term partners). All known and documented troupes that happen far too often.

I’m not saying Buddie is some gay jesus ship that’s gonna save the entertainment industry but if done right it could prove to be one of the few healthy depictions of two men getting into a gay relationship we have. If they plan it out correctly, show us the relationship development, like they did with Maddie/Chim for example, Buddie could be used as a positive example of a gay fictional relationship (I really could go into depth about this. I probably should tbh).

As for not supporting Hen and KAREN, or Michael and DAVID, I think fans do support them! The writers don’t. If you read fanfics Henren and Michael/David are featured heavily in many fics, and ik some people might say ‘well they’re only there so Buddie can talk about their gay side!!’ but both these couples have their own fans and fanfic tags! They aren’t just plot devices in Buddie stories. There is a huge side of the fandom that supports Henren and wants to see more of them and their family. Same with Michael and David, during the episode where Michael and Bobby team up to find that plastic surgeon who was working illegally many people where ecstatic that we were getting more Michael/David content and that David was getting more than a couple lines. But sadly it seems like the writers only want to delve into these story lines when they need filler, they even miss opportunities to include these other LGBTQIA+ characters when it makes sense;

(Someone came for me about this but I am going to bring it up again)

When Chris is sad and wants more human connection, instead of bring Harry + Michael/David and Denny+Nia+Henren back into the picture (and yes I understood at the time the pandemic was bad (lmao still is!!), but all the actors at some point would have/had crossed over into each other’s ‘bubbles’, so ALL the actors would have been exposed to each other so getting the children together with adults they had ALREADY been with during shooting wouldn’t have been a super spreader event) but instead they brought in Ana after only two on screen dates and pretended like it was a logical thing for someone who’s up to that point been extremely careful with their child.

They really could have pushed the ‘118 is a family!’ message here and included the canonically gay supporting characters, and the lesbian main character(s) but they did not and instead chose to push the Ana/Eddie coupling even though they hadn’t properly developed it yet. The writers themselves don’t seem to care about developing their canonically gay characters and including them more than they have to but fans are continuously developing Henren and Michael/David with hc and fics.

I’d like to use your logic against you for a second, in s1 we have a very healthy, platonic friendship between Chim/Bobby but that got written out to the point they are more like boss/employee unless the scene calls for them to seem closer, we now have Bobby and Michael friendship but again we hardly see Michael. On Lone Star we have Owen and Judd as a really, really good example of a healthy male friendship but we see Judd more often with Tommy now then we do with Owen, and in s2 it’s overshadowed by Owen trusting Charlie from Twilight and constantly getting fucked over! Why can’t the writter just be happy with these happy, healthy, emotionally well male-male friendship they’ve already included and expand upon them. There’s enough drama because the show literally involves burning buildings and people’s lives being at risk from some natural/man made disaster ever 12 seconds. Does it need to have so much interpersonal conflict and male peacocking??

#Buddie #Please donʻt get offended by anything in this!!! #These are JUST my opinions which MAY change the further we get into this show!! #ALSO IT IS JUST A TV SHOW!!!! PLEASE BE KIND TO ME AND TO EACH OTHER

[aeondeug]

So while I was reading GtN and HtN I occasionally stopped to be like “Wow, it’s great how these can be just so gay!” And like. That is really great. Super great. I love that about them. But I also remember at least once stopping and going “Wow, it’s great that there’s no homophobia here!” And like at the time I just kind of nodded along to myself. Around when I just finished GtN, I remember being very fond of the bit after the book with like the guy explaining like. The deal with necro/cav relationships in The Media and throughout history and how actually none of these things have ever been romance. This is just a pure relationship, unaffected by naughty things like ROMANCE. WHY DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO BE ROMANCE?! shouts the author of this paper. And I laughed at this. Because it reminded me a lot of people who do this shit with queer love. They do it with history and just go “Why does Sappho have to be gay, why can’t she just have passionate feelings for her BFFs”. Which is mindbogglingly stupid to me and anyone who has so much as LOOKED at some of the poem fragments. But like people do say that shit. And they do this a lot over like queer anything in fiction unless it like punches you in the face with rainbows immediately. “Why do Bubblegum and Marceline have to be gay? They’re just friends!” is a take that I legitimately saw on the day of the finale. And not just once. I saw it a few times. And I’ve seen that happen over so many ships in so many things, whether or not the ships end up canon. “Why does it have to be gay?” and the specific sort of outrage over it I’ve seen in essay length posts is just common, and that sort of outrage reads very similar to the argument that dude made about necro/cav relationships. It reads like that and close enough so that I made a joke about it even. I didn’t think too, too much on this at first though because I mean. We have Abigail and Magnus. They’re right there. A man and a woman, a husband and a wife. So like I was able to simultaneously go “omg it’s just like those why can’t they just be friends WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE GAY people” and also “wow it’s nice that there are spooky negative queer experiences of SADNESS here”. Which has got me thinking. Ok. So we have that essay. Now what else do we have in the books? I suppose could point at the entirety of Gideon and Harrow’s just furious refusal to admit that they might actually be in love with one another. Even though it appears to be obvious to literally everyone else in the galaxy. And is obvious to the readers. Hell, Gideon even has a moment of feeling like she needs to tell Harrow something the day before she dies. Something which is heavily romance coded, I don’t know the word for it. But like a “Wow I feel a need to tell them something and it’ll be my last shot” before a death just kind of always reads “It was an ‘I love you’. They needed to say it and didn’t get a chance”. So we’ve got that and, specifically, we’ve got their outrage at the suggestions. Gideon stresses that she’s JUST Harrow’s cav. And she’s very fucking insistent on that. Part of the why is that she knows Harrow is in love with a fucking dead girl in a casket but like. It just hits a certain way. There’s also Harrow’s just repeated disgust she expresses towards the concept of necro/cav relationships. She needs to explain away to herself that like, well, Abigail and Magnus were ALREADY married before he was named her cavalier primary so maybe that makes it fine. And even then she’s not like super duper comfy with the idea. A taboo has been broken, Harrow feels, and she needs to get really rules lawery to find any comfort with that. Other small things that feel of note to me here are the nature of the ways we know that these two are gay outside of like. Their weird thing for one another. With Gideon we’re introduced to it basically immediately with her joke about titty mags. Harrow specifically makes a comment at some point that some of the magazines Gideon gets are very gross, yes. Her interest in women is explicitly made sexual from the get go, and the idea that The Gays are just weird sex fiends and there is no love there is a frequent one. With Harrow meanwhile we know because she says she’s in love with the girl in the Locked Tomb. Who is very much dead. A thing that is fucky enough that like there is an entire song and dance about “GIDEON THE FIRST IS MAKING OUT WITH A CORPSE??????” and how Harrow is a hypocrite for being so offended by that all. Also the girl is behind the door. She is something that isn’t supposed to be seen or known about or, heaven forbid, woken up. That is all the ultimate taboo and Harrow not only fucking broke that but she looked at the girl and went “Wow I’m in love” on the spot. So we have this collection of things that could be read as some sort of metaphor for like...The taboo nature of queer love. “Why can’t they just be friends?” and issues of purity and the lack thereof. And we have characters who are very clearly in love but who can’t just admit that because they think there’s something fucking wrong with that. Gideon’s JUST her cav and Harrow is also in love with a dead chick. We also have Magnus and Abigail around who are just like. Happily married and fine with things regarding their whole necro/cav aesthetic. Ianthe doesn’t seem to give a shit that Gideon’s into Harrow at all. There’s a fondness for necro/cav relationships enough that there’s an entire romance genre centered on them and like characters in the cast are fond of those, some of them. Things appear to be Fine, at least as far as their friends are concerned. Maybe the asshole writing the essay that kicked this pondering off would have an issue and a stuffy old grandma would pitch a fit. But like their friends don’t have a problem with necro/cav shit. But we still very much have Gideon and Harrow being “Well no. We’re just a necromancer and their cavalier. GOD.” Now part of what got me thinking about this is that I recently decided to start watching Bly Manor. Because fuck it we haven’t yet. And specifically part of why is I remember seeing an analysis of it done by Rowan Ellis which had this bit where like the argument that “Bly Manor proves you can do queer stories without homophobia being a part of it!” is brought up and like...Ellis is like “Ok but we very much do just lock a queer woman in a literal closet while she screams to be let out”. And lo and behold in the first episode we very much do just lock a queer woman in a literal closet while she screams to be let out. In an episode showing that she’s like just unable to go back home for...some reason. And that she has some sort of difficulty with her relationship with her mother. No, the show is not having the character literally go “Wow I sure am in the closet and I kind of fucking hate that woe is me I am so gay”. But figuratively? It’s all over the place in that first episode. I’m not sure about the others because I haven’t watched them, but it is there in the very first one. And that’s something horror does very well. It takes things that are scary and uncomfortable and bundles them up in shades of metaphor. It hides them from  you by showing you the thing cleverly disguised. Maybe you do not notice it the first time through perhaps. Maybe you felt that a certain thing like the closet scene resonated very hard with you and you’re not sure why. But you perhaps don’t consciously go “Aha! It is the horror of being closeted!” Upon looking back on it or back through it though you might notice it. And be like “Oh that was there. Holy fuck.” Now maybe you’re also someone who isn’t like. Comfortable. With straightforward depictions of specifically queer suffering. Maybe it’s just too scary. But with this show hiding it in a metaphor you got to sit through that. You got to be brave enough to sit through a very, very scary thing. And afterwords you go to think about it. This is the power of metaphor and it’s something horror has been very, very good at doing for ages. Maybe racism or homophobia or whatever else is too nerve wracking for you to look at face on in media, but maybe you can watch a movie or a show where the horror of those things are very much there but cloaked in metaphor. And so maybe we are getting that with Gideon and Harrow’s weird issues around how “taboo” their feelings are. Two people who are just unwilling to believe that it might be that thing, in part because that thing is “taboo”. Except instead of the taboo being literally “They’re lesbians, Harold,” it’s instead cloaked in a comforting metaphor of necro/cav relationships and some dude who is really fucking offended at people’s space ao3 fanfictions about his historical favs. Which is important because every fucking scrap of anything one gets is an argument. It can’t just be that they’re in love. It’s that you must PROVE it and some asshole with a degree or just a bone to pick is going to come by and be like “WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE A NECRO AND A CAV” about it all. And like I’m someone who’s known they’re into other women for a long while now. At least half my life. We have conquered that hurdle. But we haven’t entirely unpacked all the weird little societal bullshit that is still in there. Hiding. Lurking. And that societal bullshit specifically frames that sort of love as something gross and taboo and “Why Can’t They Just Be Friends?”. With that last thing hurting a lot. I’ve constantly run across people going “Why can’t they just be friends?” or going “They just have a sisterly relationship!” about things I shipped. Even when those things involved shit like the characters kissing on screen or mentioning that they’ve been dating in a sequel series. I can’t simply like my ships. I can’t simply see myself in romance. Because my sort of love is so taboo that it is, in itself, a debate. Maybe being shown the thing cleverly disguised as another thing might help me unpack that. At the very least it helps me look at it. When it’s something that hurts a lot to this day.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #spoilers #this is a bit painfully long #but i have FEELINGS about uncomfortable things being hidden in metaphor #and that metaphor being the thing that helps you be brave enough to look at it

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

They're trying to compare people saying they don't care about the real rep by saying people who like waffles are against pancakes and performative if they even mention them to try and make other people look stupid.

Which makes zero sense because they neglect to put in anything about the waffle-lovers using pancakes to prop up their fave breakfast food.

The analogy doesn't work simply because they don't address the real problem.

The real problem is that Supercrap is NOT ESTABLISHED REPRESENTATION. No one says Lobotomizer or Kara can't be part of LGBT+ family, but so far they are two white straight privileged females who love ridding dicks and were told more than ONCE that they are FRIENDS, nothning else.

While we have ESTABLISHED beautiful lesbian couple story, that is also interracial and REAL representation. It's not liking something more than somethig else, it's about supporting or not. What scs are doing is a simple example of liking their precious ship OVER a real rep.

Normally it would be ok, we like what we like and we want it, but the problem is Toxicraps are screaming about REPRESENTATION and call everyone homophobes for not liking a ship and a character that are not a rep, while IGNORING a lesbian couple and treating it as a supercrap's ugly sister, that can be used to shit on the show about "female's screen time uwu". The problem is that Toxicraps have BUILT their narrative on being the good sjws who fight for a better world and rep, while they don't give a shit about the rep. The only "rep" that matters are their ship. THAT IS NOT A REP. They are contradicting themselves.

What is WORSE, they give the producers and people who work in the industry a clear message that people DON'T CARE ABOUT REAL REPRESENTATION. It's not only about Dansen. It's how they treated every POC male that was obstacle for their ship (aka shitting on POC characters and interracial relationships). It's how they treated and mocked Mehcad and James about the police brutality ep when he talked about his real life experiences. It's how they sent him death threats and then mocked him about it. It's how they scream now how Nia has too much focus and screen time.

And let me say it, because it pisses me off for some time.

I'm asexual. Some time ago I saw a person saying Kara gives asexual vibes.

There was no single fucking moment of Kara giving that vibes. Since the FIRST ep she is established as someone who desires relationships, intimacy AND SEX. This is Kara. This is her sexuality. This is who she is. The show gives a clear message.

My point is I would seriously fucking love to see her or other characters being asexual. But since the FUCKING BEGINING. I want to see them, established since the first fucking scene. Clear, obvious message. I don't want the bullshitery done in the last ep of the entire series, while the whole story CONTRADICTS it. And it's a fucking slap to the face of people who identify with this or that sexuality.

Yes, people explore their sexualities and discover them even when they are adult and old. But that's not the point. We already have this type of stories.

Some people scream they are queerbaited while they create the environment for the producers to do it. If you fucking IGNORE real rep, real lgbt+ couples and demand a couple kiss and be canon out of nowhere in the last ep then why you are fucking surprised we don't get that many main characters being lgbts??? Because socks that are not really rainbow? Because of parallels with couples from other shows that mean NOTHING? Because what means a shit is the CANON of the show???

Not sure if I expressed myself clearly but it pisses me off for a long, long time.

#anons #anti sc fandom

[mst3kproject]

Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks

This movie has a real all-star cast as far as us MSTies are concerned.  There’s Rossano Brazzi, who was Phineas Prune in The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t; Edmund Purdom, whom we know as Griba from Ator, the Fighting Eagle; and Salvatore Baccaro, the leader of the cavemen in Starcrash.  The film itself is absolute, irredeemable trash and I love it like my own garbage child.

We begin out of nowhere with a bunch of peasants beating a caveman to death.  What?  Where are we?  When are we?  Who are these people?  Why is one of them a cavemen wearing a fur loincloth and the rest are just normal people in pants?  Why are they beating him?  Did he do something that pissed them off, or do they just hate him because they’re, like, anti-Neanderthal racists?  What the fuck is going on?  We will never really find out.  We just cut straight to Dr. Frankenstein hauling the troglocorpse into his lab.

That’s how this movie rolls.  Don’t bother asking questions, just try to keep up.

Count Frankenstein’s daughter Maria has returned to her childhood home, bringing along her fiancé Eric and her friend Krista, who has an unhealthy relationship with polka-dots.  Krista is immediately fascinated by the Count and his work, and he with her in turn.  It doesn’t take long for Krista to find out that Frankenstein is carrying on reanimation experiments in his basement, but that’s actually the least of the bullshit going on around here.  There are more cavemen out there, but there’re also rivalries and love triangles among the inevitable gaggle of deformed assistants, and the local villagers are angry about a spate of grave robbing and determined to run the Frankensteins out of town.  The ‘monster’ (I’m not sure it quite counts) is kind of an afterthought.

See, Hans the Butler hates Genz the Dwarf (even though it’s actually Kregan the hunchback who is fucking Hans’ wife) so he gets him fired, and Genz swears revenge on the whole Frankenstein household. Wandering in the woods, Genz meets and befriends a second caveman, naming him ‘Ook’ and teaching him how to rape women in the hopes that he will do violence to Maria Frankenstein.  Ook, however, kidnaps Krista instead.  At about the same time, Genz sneaks back into Castle Frankenstein to free the first caveman, Goliath, whom the Count has been keeping strapped to a table after bringing him back to life, and who has also fallen in love with Krista as the latter assists the Count with his work.  Goliath goes on a murderous rampage, then follows Genz back to the cave where Ook is keeping Krista.  Sure enough, this leads to a caveman-vs-caveman battle for the girl!

Man, I would love to see earlier drafts of this script, mostly because I’m dying to know whether some prior incarnation of it actually had anything to do with Mary Shelley’s book or even with previous Frankenstein movies.  I mean, it starts with the servants digging up a corpse, and ends with a torch-and-pitchfork mob destroying the Count’s creation… the beginning and end of a Frankenstein movie are present.  In between those, however, it wanders off on this bizarre tangent about the local cryptids. As it reached the screen, the only thing Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks seems to have in common with its source material is the threat to the Count’s girlfriend, which was issued by the Creature in the original story.  Technically, even the grave robbing and re-animating have nothing to do with Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus – the book never actually says how the Creature’s body was created. The idea of piecing it together from corpses originates with the Boris Karloff movie.

Let me describe some more of the stuff that goes on here, in order to give you the flavour of the experience.  For starters, Salvatore Baccaro, playing Ook the caveman, is credited as ‘Boris Lugosi’ in the opening credits.  The first time I saw this movie I snorted water up my nose when that popped on screen.

Later in the movie there’s a flashback to that first peasants-vs-caveman scene, and it answers none of the questions I listed above. Why are there cavemen in these woods? I dunno, there just are.  What did the cavemen do to piss off the locals?  I don’t know that, either… they may have been stealing livestock, I guess, but they don’t seem to have been a threat to the people until Genz taught them about rape.  Kind of makes one wonder what happened to the cavewomen, since we never meet one and these guys don’t seem to know what women are, as illustrated by Ook initially thinking their nubile young captive is going to be dinner. Also, although there are two cavemen, they don’t know each other.  Genz has to introduce them!

There’s a bit where Genz is hiding behind a clock to watch Maria and Eric have sex.  The butler comes along and chews him out for it, sends him to his room, and then he stands there and watches them for a while.

In another scene, Maria and Krista go skinny-dipping in a mineral spring, and the longer it goes on the more the dialogue sounds like it’s going to break into lesbian porn.  I am particularly fond of the exchange where Maria says, “don’t worry, this dress is designed to be easy to get out of,” and Krista, impressed, replies, “I’ll say it is!”

The subplot in which the butler’s wife is having an affair with the hunchback has no effect on the plot whatsoever.  The butler never even finds out about it.  There’s a scene in which they run off to the barn to slap each other and smooch, and then the movie forgets about it.  Astonishingly, the same is true of the corpse the servants dig up early on.  They exhume the body of a recently dead woman, Genz cops a feel and leaves some footprints at the scene so that the villagers can figure out who was responsible, and… that’s it.  She doesn’t even hang around as a gratuitous zombie like the grave-robbed girl in The Atomic Brain.

According to Wikipedia, nobody will admit to directing this movie.  Like many Italian films, the director used a pseudonym, and the cast apparently disagree on even such basics as his nationality.  Some of them think he was Spanish, but Simonetta Vitelli, who played Maria Frankenstein, insists he was an American.

At the end of the movie, Ook is the first of the cavemen to be killed, and we get to see Genz weeping over his friend’s dead body.  Then he and Krista hold each other as the mob closes in on Goliath.  This is supposed to be a tender moment but it looks a lot like Genz (who is, you must remember, around four feet tall) is enjoying his faceful of boobs.  Since all alternative love interests for Krista are now dead, maybe we’re supposed to think she ended up marrying Genz.

Finally, as Goliath’s body burns, Edmund Perdom intones, “there’s a bit of the monster in all of us, especially where there’s fear.”  I’ll drink to that, my dude.  ‘Twas beauty killed the beast.  He tampered in God’s domain.

That probably is supposed to be the movie’s point. The villagers are depicted as suspicious, fearful, and quick to violence, while the cavemen seem to have been relatively peaceful types until Genz taught them how to rape.  It’s very much the Homo sapiens who are the monsters there. Frankenstein’s servants are all assorted shades of horrible, from Genz the necrophile to the nasty cackling butler to the adulterous hunchback and cook.  Count Frankenstein himself isn’t quite so overtly evil but it’s clear that he’s not very interested in the moral dimension of his work.

Even if that’s an intentional theme rather than just a pithy closing line, I don’t think anybody thought about it very hard. The rest of Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks is too much of a mess.  There’s no real plot, no identifiable protagonist, it’s sleazy and incoherent and at times it’s horrifyingly abelist… and yet, for reasons I cannot explain, it’s weirdly entertaining.

Maybe it’s just that everything in the film is so damn ridiculous.  So much of what happens comes out of nothing and goes right back into it… a series of mind-boggling what the fuck moments that surprise the viewer over and over.  The impression is that the writers are throwing horror concepts at the screen to see what sticks, but nothing does.

Maybe it’s that this is another villain-centric piece.  You know I like those.  I guess maybe Krista is the heroine?  She seems to do the fewest horrible things over the course of the story, but she’s not a good person, either.  She’s totally into the Count’s creepy reanimation experiments, and makes only a token protest about the idea of informed consent.  Edmund Perdom’s Inspector character is one you’d expect to try and do something about these goings on, but he never does.  Maria and Eric are only in the movie so it can have a sex scene.

Whatever the reason, the result is inexplicably charming. Between the easily distracted plot, the gratuitous breasts, the bad dubbing, the complete failure to either frighten or titillate, and the fact that it tries to tie itself to a lucrative franchise it really has nothing to do with, Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks is almost the perfect example of a bad Italian horror flick from the 70’s.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #frankenstein's castle of freaks #tw: rape #tw: ableism #70s

[sugar-petals]

BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense. 

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS  ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex. 

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈  ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈  THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now. 

tarot mlist | ko-fi

----

for anon:

#bts tarot #bts #bangtan #bts smut #bts tarot reading #tarot #long post

[2bastardsandabluray]

The Empty Man - Spoiler Review

"This looks like dogshit," I hear you already saying, "Another lazy cheap-assed slenderman type horror movie for middle schoolers. You really watched this? Fucking narc!"

Oh I sure did, asshole. And you should too because looks are deceiving. RLM's Jay Bauman, the immortal weird-indie-sex-pervert-film conniseur, commands it - and who am I if not his humble shill servant? The Empty Man has a lot going on, and this combined with its runtime (>2hrs!) lends toward the general impression that first time writer & director David Prior probably should've pitched it to Fox Studios as a TV series. So even though I do love to complain, I can hardly do so about this movie. Each of the 3 acts are more or less their own film, their plot threads carefully spun together, weaving a mostly successful third and final act.

I haven't actually said anything about the plot yet, because, well... I'm honestly not sure how to summarize it; Even the IMDB summary fails to properly advertise what happens. The plot of The Empty Man is functionally the plot of a full trilogy of movies, which Fox evidently was not willing to gamble on. If the studio wasn't one monolithic quivering pussy, David Prior's ideas would have had ample time across 4ish hours of screen time. In our day and age nobody is really willing to sit down and watch a movie for that long (have you ever tried to watch the original Ben-Hur? Jesus tittyfucking Christ it's like watching a 300 year old man-corpse play shuffleboard with his bare hands) and fairly so. Resulting from this unfortunate reality is a conceptually DENSE movie which makes use of some ideas I've never seen thrown around in a horror film before. I like 'em dense, babey.

The Empty Man opens with a trope-y and unceremonious vignette about a group of hiking buddies working their way up some unnamed mountain in Bhutan, c.1995. One of them, whom I can only refer to as Kmart Brand Aaron Paul, falls into a hole on the mountainside. Whoopsie! Within the hole/cave, Discount Paul discovers, uh, well, it's not entirely clear what he's looking at in this scene. I'd elaborate, but then I bet you wouldn't be as interested.

Hiker fella #2 hurriedly rappels down, fearing his buddy might've broken a bone, or something. Discount Paul appears unscathed, but he's acting really fucking weird. Completely unresponsive to people around him, just sitting cross-legged on the ground mumbling (praying?). The next 15 minutes are pretty bog standard, but it takes a strange twist at the end of this little intro when Discount Paul just fucking murders everyone and then throws himself off the mountain. "Huh," think we, the audience, collectively, "Fuck's this supposed to be about?" I'm writing a review right now and I'm here to tell you I have barely any goddamn idea.

Act two is where things get slightly more explicable. It's a procedural cop drama now, and our tragically generic (but quite nice as detective protags go!) lead is a grizzly, hard boiled ex-detective who left - or lost - his job for reasons we don't really know yet. Cool. His friend's kid (lesbian Finn Wolfhard) has gone missing though, oh no! Detective Whatever sets about hunting for clues and discovers quickly that a bunch of other annoying-ass teenagers have also gone missing here in Plotsville, seemingly in connection to some cheesy Bloody-Mary-esque ritual the school kids venerate as local tradition.

From this point, all the building blocks of a by-the-book garbage horror flick for children who've just recently been allowed into a PG-13 are in place. The Bye-Bye Man, The Smiling Man, Dark Shadows, Slender Man, that one that's set in Moscow I don't care what it's really called, ad nauseum. Act 2 approaches - but deftly avoids - relegation into an obscenely large rolladex of pissass garbage. As it makes this crafty maneuver away from irrelevance, the really interesting events and plot concepts start to throw themselves at you.

Detective Whatever has linked the kids' disappearances to an exceptionally wacky cult, so he pays them a hard-boiled visit and listens to a sermon delivered by Barry and Office Space alumnus Stephen Root's character, who comes across as far less wacky and more trustworthy than your average cult goon. Detective Whatever and the kooky minister sit down for a chat after the service, wherein our hero utterly fails to make any sense of what Root's character is trying to explain. Nice try though, Detective Philistine!

mumble grumble mumble my stapler

Root's dialogue in this scene gives us just a glimpse of what these supernatural yokels are up to. He tries, very very patiently, to introduce our hero to the concept of the noosphere, the imaginary realm from which originates - and through which flows - all conscious thought, human and otherwise. The homely minister goes on to paint a picture of a fascinating occult ideology which draws not only on various sects of Buddhist thought, but also on a real-world cult from the early 20th century called Theosophy.

The cult is fixated on notions of the noosphere, of thought manifestation, tulpas and the like. We don't know what exactly their goal is yet, but a circle of people chanting gibberish (not a foreign language, I mean actual vocal jibberish) in a giant unlit abandoned warehouse probably needs to be stopped by our dashing protagonist before something truly spooky happens.

heehee hoohoo we're gonna summon a demon or some shit idunno

Stop them he does not, however, and hooboy does it get fucking weird from here. Detective Whatever has moved a few links up along the chain of clues, and worn himself down to the bone in the process. The guy is falling apart at the seams trying to find the end goal behind all these high-minded ideas and violent cult bozos, while at the same time struggling to manage what appears to be PTSD due to a tragic loss.

Somewhere along the way, all that he's seen and been told about a higher plane of pure consciousness, about a world beyond the realm of our perception, about entities ancient and malicious, has more or less shredded his relationship with reality. As the plot threads begin to wrap themselves together, Detective WhoEvenAmI unravels at a rapidly increasing pace. Then, coinciding with his complete psychotic break, the detective happens upon the missing girl essentially by chance. She looks extraordinarily cult-y. The girl reinforces this initial judgement by saying some seriously bizarre shit. Detective Cuckoo's Nest is not, in fact, a real person, and nor was his tragically lost family. He is a manifestation of the cultists' combined thought and concentration, a sort of tulpa. "We made you!" she gleefully informs the harrowed and broken man, "We invented every aspect of your existence and conjured you into being".

Why? Fuck if I know, dude. That you're reading this on a Tumblr post instead of Roger Ebert's website or something similar is a decent enough indicator that The Empty Man falls a few hairs short of its ambition, losing some box office schmeat in the process. It's a shame, too, 'cause excepting the last 10 minutes the whole ride is unique in tone and deeply fascinating in content. Prior's debut movie is well-shot, well-edited (if a bit short), and the story is carefully crafted to have you scratching your head and ass the entire time. I love me a movie like that. And though the ending is neither explanatory nor wholly satisfactory, David Prior's blended vagueries of Buddhist philosophy and mass psychology are a very new and fresh take on a horror macguffin that can be spooky and/or scary. If you like spooky mysteries, and especially if you like cult horror, both I and the Great Immortal Jay In The Sky beseech you. Give budding director David Prior two hours of your time, you probably won't regret it. Besides, what were you gonna do with those two hours anyway? Scroll through Instagram? Fuckin' jackass.

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy Season 8: Review

It’s bad. It’s just... really... bad. That’s the TL;DR of this review. There was one (1) good thing about this season and that was the return of Oz. So if you’re looking for something that hypes season 8? This is not it. If you are confused, angry or salty about season 8? Hi, yes, me too.

Starting at the beginning. At first, I was really happy that they introduced more characters of color, with Renee and Satsu. And when Renee was then even “promoted” to Xander’s love interest? Nice. The two were even cute.

But no. That was all just the set-up to fridge her. Which, I am so very tired of that trope. And that is what that was. That wasn’t just a slayer dying during a fight. The entire issue of her death focused on her and Xander, building up to their relationship, setting them up for their first date, having her be prominently featured, just to then kill her off and have Xander avenge her.

What made it feel even worse - worse than just the fridging - was that they really had to fridge one of their very few women of color. And, to top it off, spend the entire issue in which she dies having her subjected to racism. Just great. Really, you managed to make an already shitty trope even worse. That’s impressive.

The racism itself too. Dracula. They just decided to make Dracula totally racist now, huh? and it doesn’t get a pass just because Xander points out in the comic that he doesn’t remember Dracula being this racist. Because he wasn’t. This Dracula just throws around slurs left and right in a way that feels more like the writers just really wanted to use slurs. Because the character? He was suave, charming, heck he charmed the straight men and the lesbians too when he was on the show. He was a smooth talker. This Dracula? He just... He was just racist and rude in general. Why.

Moving on from the racism to the next failure in rep. The gays. At this point in time I am simply convinced that Joss Whedon is entirely unfamiliar with the concept of bisexuality.

I know I’ve already made a separate post complaining about this, but it needs mentioning in the review of the season too. Having Buffy hook up with a lesbian twice, but #NoHomo, just a straight girl in her “experimental phase”. That’s just cringey and also offensive. Just... make her... come out as a bisexual? It’s not like the writing in the show hadn’t already set her up with quite the bi vibes.

Instead, the narrative made it sound like the only options would be to be straight or to now suddenly turn “into” a lesbian. Which is also offensive on itself, because - as this very show had proven on screen - lesbians can come out later in life and genuinely, I adore Willow’s arc. For her narrative, it fit to have her come out as a lesbian, the circumstances and her life fit for that. I absolutely agree that it would have been weird for Buffy to have a sudden coming out as a lesbian at that point in her life and after everything, but referring to it as turning into a dyke was just not great.

And lesbian wasn’t the only option. Though, I’m unsure Whedon knows that, considering that 6/6 canon queer characters are homosexual and 4/4 wlw are lesbians. They just keep introducing more lesbians - which, as a lesbian I am always in favor of more lesbians. However, when you have a very small number (2) of queer characters, it figures you can not cover all the sexualities and it’s even fair that even with two, you still choose to have them both be the same sexuality. But... the more you add? The more questionable it becomes that you limit it to one sexuality only.

This arc would have so beautifully set up for Buffy to come out as bi. But no.

And while we’re on the wlw; one of the things I always loved about Buffy was that the lesbians weren’t just there for the male gaze, they weren’t oversexualized. They desired each other, they even had sex. But... in a normal frame work, to a normal amount, meaning equal to how the straights were handled. I always liked that, because especially in early days, lesbians were usually just there to look really hot and have hot sex that straight men could get off to. Well, consider me very unimpressed with the comics, because... man are lesbians sexualized now. Willow gets a hot constantly naked snake goddess girlfriend whom she can only contact by - and I am not making this up - having an orgasm. So we prelude the trip by her having sex with Kennedy, before waking up all nude in snake goddess’ realm and usually having am makeout session or sex with her too while doing whatever business she has with her. So much nakedness, so much oversexualization. Really... disappointing.

Staying on the romance but turning to the other Summers sister, I truly can’t believe they made Xander/Dawn canon. Like, I can not comprehend they decided to make that a canon ship.

Sure, Dawnie’s had a crush on Xander since the literal beginning of Dawn. And that was... cute, honestly. Fifteen year old girls have crushes on cute older guys who are nice to them. Figures. Adorable. But she kind of... grew out of that over the course of the show? Or so it seemed...

And Xander. One of the things I loved about Xander was that Dawn was always a total no go. She was Buffy’s sister, heck, she was kind of every Scoobie’s little sister. He had always had brotherly advise for her. Heck, in this comic he points out that it’s weird since he’s known her since she was little - and yeah it is. It’s not weird when two people were both little together, but when one was sixteen when the other was eleven and one has babysat the other? That’s weird.

Getting infinitely more disturbing by the fact that she... literally... just turned eighteen. If they had put this into a rather later season, or a bigger time skip, had Dawn been A WomanTM for a few years now and Xander had gotten around to separating the idea of kiddo!Dawnie from the woman she has become, but Dawn is only eighteen, she hasn’t become a woman yet. She just turned legal to bang and thus, a switch was flipped in Xander’s mind, putting her on his radar. And just... no. Why.

And even beyond this decision; Dawn spends the first third of this season being slut-shamed in ridiculous ways. Which is also tiresome. I am the last person to defend cheaters, but there’s a difference between “You cheated and are being held accountable for it” and “You cheated so now you are cursed to be a giant, a centaur and then a porcellain doll for weeks at a time, being publicly humiliated and having control over your body taken away from you”. That was... sure a choice.

Moving on to the actual main problem of this season. The plot.

Starting with the incomprehensibly dumb idea of “hey let’s retreat to Tibet, put a huge target on Oz’s new home and get rid of all of our magic. surely that will not come to bite us in the arse when the bad guys find us”. Naturally, it came back to bite them in their collective asses. This was just... No one objected or pointed out how dumb that plan was? Really? No one? Really?

Anyway, let’s talk villains. And work our way up there. The return of Amy and Warren. Once again, I ask why. I’m still salty about the 180° Amy did from sweet Wiccan to wicked bitch after her stint as a rat, but having her now... hook up with Warren, the second biggest misogynist on this show, who is also skinless. She used a spell to keep him alive but she couldn’t... give the spell a color? Anything? Anything to not make him look flayed? Because this was just unnecessarily gross body-horror.

Not to mention the... lack of reaction? Sure, some spoke grumpily against working with Warren. But... this is Warren. The guy who killed Tara when he was trying to kill Buffy. There really should have been more breather-scenes of the Scoobies talking about this, digesting the fact that the guy was still alive and more so when they worked with him.

But nevermind them, because they’re working for Angel. Because Angel’s the villain behind this season. I mean, he was manipulated into that by Twilight, but manipulated means he still chose to do it.

Now let me preface that I might not ship Angel/Buffy, but that really only factors marginally in here, because this plot would be bullshit even if it were my OTP.

We now retcon the creation of the Slayers as not just being something dirty old men did in a cave, it was now all the greater plan of the universe. Which. Might have worked had Slayers been... naturally occuring. And not created by men, forcing this upon a young woman. Sure, what people do can be seen as the greater plan of the universe too if you will, but that seems like a cop-out that absolves bad people of their bad choices and deeds.

Anyway. The universe created Slayers and vampires and the ““balance”“ between them (which is bullshit anyway because 1 Slayer vs thousands of vampires... not balanced at all), including the now supposedly destined romance between Angel and Buffy.

Both get rewarded with super-powers now so they can super-fuck and thus give birth to a new universe. That universe is called Twilight and manifests as a burning, winged, green lion who can talk (because that sure is how I always headcanoned Angel/Buffy’s children to look like /s) and who, through time-travel shenannigans, has been manipulating Angel into his own creation.

The magic pull between them is so strong that it overrides the “Angel just caused the death of over two-hundred Slayers” so Buffy fucks him.

At which point I just... this season was flat-out character assassination of Angel? He was manipulated by the bad guy. Not controlled, manipulated. He caused the death of hundreds. He threw everything he stood for and believed in out the window for the promise of a paradise where he could be with Buffy, when the real Angel has chosen other things, higher goals, over being with Buffy over and over again, because that’s what they do. That is their whole thing, they choose the good of the world over being together. They have always been a “will they/won’t they?” where the answer is they won’t, because they know they are needed elsewhere, by others. But now Angel just... doesn’t care about all that anymore, or heck about his own son and his friends, ready to abandon everything for this.

And then when Twilight is born and consequently abandoned by Buffy, who still prioritizes her friends, family and the world over being with Angel, Angel actually... needs convincing in the abandoning? Because, again, character assassination. Ultimately, Angel gets controlled by Twilight and used to kill Giles and try to kill Buffy.

But thanks to the Deus Ex Machina of Spike dropping in in the final arc, they know how to stop this. He hasn’t been in this season so far, because - truly in line with this season - he was off being the king of a race of alien bugs, traveling in their space-ship.

To stop this all, they go back to Sunnydale, where of course the “heart of the Earth” is located, the seed that contains all magic, and destroy it, and with it all magic. Also, the Master was apparently always just there to guard that seed. He is now back from the dead!

Let me summarize that once more, just for emphasis: The universe wanted Buffy and Angel to fuck so they can give birth to a new universe that personifies as a green, winged, burning lion but before it can destroy our universe, Spike, now king of an alien bug race, delivers the solution to go back to Sunnydale and destroy the seed of all magic that is being guarded by a resurrected Master.

How do you read that with a straight face? How do you pitch that? This is just so incomprehensibly stupid.

We end the comic with Buffy as a waitress, hated by many, Xander and Dawn now have an apartment and are playing house, Willow broke up with Kennedy because she realized she is in love with the snake goddess she will now never get to see again, Giles is dead, Faith somehow inherited everything from Giles and she is also the designated Angel-sitter now.

#Buffy Season 8 #Buffy Review #Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[meirimerens]

Do you think if the Metal Gear Solid movie is based off the 1998 game, do you think it’d be a romance/action flick? With a random obligatory love scene between Meryl and Solid Snake?

I know the director would have to appease a large general audience, possibly a large percentage who’ve never heard of the game before. I just don’t know how I’d feel about Snake and Meryl hugging each other without clothes on.

Do you think the director will make Ocelot ambidextrous, do you think Ocelot will still be fighting for Big Boss or just turn out to be some senile old-man who has a torture complex and doesn’t know where he is half the time?

I just hope Otacon isn’t some random guy Snake says “hi” to and never talks to again.

For some reason I’m worried about this film, but maybe it’ll surprise me and many fans and turn out really good.

you have come to discuss and i’m so happy. replying under the cut because i’m kinda

Do you think [the movie]’d be a romance/action flick with a random obligatory love scene between Meryl and Solid Snake?

It better not fucking be. I’m gonna say it, it better not fucking be. the director seems to really love the source material and MGS, as a Game, is. not about Romantic Love (well. not Heterosexual Romantic Love. ask me about my feelings on how lesbian love (through SLove and Joy) and gay love (through... y’know) are the driving salvating forces of MGS) so i do think AND hope he wouldn’t do the movie and the source material dirty like that.

MGS does have some Flirtatious Moments between Meryl and Snake but not only do their relationships ultimately fail (LOL) these moments are also kinda awkward and gawky. it’s a sad truth that Hollywood Really Likes its Man And Woman Look At Each Other And Kiss scenes but i do hope the director will overcome this formula + IN THIS DAY AND AGE I MUST SAY. Meryl is canonically 18 in MGS. this makes hers and Snake’s relationship Not That Great and with a heavy power imbalance. Meryl’s youth is also important to her character because it’s the fact that she’s so young which makes her behave how she does in MGS. however, in the year of our Lady 2020, women have spoken about large age gaps between characters in movies, and how it’s part of a bigger problem (i could elaborate oooh i could so bad). having a Kiss Scene would mean a number of things, you either:

A. have a young Meryl as she is, and the scene is uncomfortable, creepy, + the age gap between THE REAL LIVING ACTOR AND ACTRESS is fucked up.

B. you age up Meryl and you take away from her a crucial reason why she is the way she is.

C. you acknowledge it’s kinda Freaky and you either remove intense romantic scenes or you keep em as the awkward back-and-forth there is in MGS, with, as you’ve noticed, NO KISS. THEY NEVER KISS. YAAAY.

(I know the director would have to appease a large general audience, possibly a large percentage who’ve never heard of the game before.  I just don’t know how I’d feel about Snake and Meryl hugging each other without clothes on.)

I’m deeply aware a number of Gamers who had MGS when they were little will be VERY attached to Meryl As The Love Interest, but as you can guess, as 1. a dyke 2. a human person 3. a pair of eyes i’m like. not fucking excited about it. the best way (for me) to go about it is like. acknowledge Meryl is blinded by her youth and seeing The Legend. if we get a sex scene? an implied-sex scene? simply i am rioting. i am not witnessing sir Oscar Isaac’s ass on my screen.

Do you think the director will make Ocelot ambidextrous, do you think Ocelot will still be fighting for Big Boss or just turn out to be some senile old-man who has a torture complex and doesn’t know where he is half the time?

Not sure about the ambidexterity, I do think it’d be fucking funny for Ocelot to drop his gun like in that one Twin Snakes scene. One of the things that i think is going to be hard for the movie is Lay Out the Lore, IF they go the “be as faithful to the source material as possible”, so showing 1. who’s big boss 2. why is ocelot here is going to be.... Interesting To See. showing ocelot as a senile old man would be a great disservice to the fans because he’s deeply loved and a great disservice to the source material because he’s like emblematic and one of the most implicated characters. if the director loves MGS as much as he says he does he MUST have seen the interviews in which Kojima says Big Boss and Ocelot shared “pure love” since the moment they met, so... c’mon boy it’s going to be 2021 you can give us the Lighting Of Cigar in a flashback. you know you can.

I just hope Otacon isn’t some random guy Snake says “hi” to and never talks to again. 

Otacon is literally SO emblematic to the franchise i do not think the director, as a Fan, would do him dirty, but then y’know. i can be surprised. in a bad way. even if the movie is focused on MGS (1998) and doesn’t touch on MGS2 where snake and hal already. live together apparently or MGS4 where they raise a child together, i do not think hal will just have a small role. like... he’s GOTTA be important. i would pray if i did that they do not discard him for Meryl because she’s the Love Interest because Hal is canonically the one who stays by Snake until the end of his life. ADD: I understand they could very much Go Their Own Ways and make something Different but then... why make an MGS movie. why not make a movie with new people. new characters. new settings. you feel.

For some reason I’m worried about this film, but maybe it’ll surprise me and many fans and turn out really good.

you’re perfectly in your rights to be, and I am too. as I’ve said I’d much rather have had an animated movie, or even an animated mini-series. I hope it brings more love to the original materials. I hope it doesn’t turn out an umpteenth Action/Romance movie. I’d pray for it to turn out right but that’s not the type of relationship me and my watchers have.

#thank you so much for letting me air my grievances. feel free to ask more shit #about the mgs movie #i prolly have more shit to say that i didn't because #i forgot. lol #neigh (blabbers) #ring ring (answers) #mgs movie thots #anonymous

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch | Shang-Chi and The Legend of the Ten Rings

By Don Hall

Hearts and Minds

The United States posited a slew of reasons for invading and occupying Afghanistan. Some were justified, others were falsified. The reason given most often was the amorphous win their hearts and minds nonsense as if any country could be won over by occupation at home and ridicule from across the ocean.

Hearts and minds are not won over with force or material goods. Hearts and minds are won over with ideas and those ideas cannot be sledgehammered in but more subtly presented. Those ideas have to be normalized.

Back in 2008—clearly a big year for LGBT rights—the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation did a survey of more than 2,000 U.S. adults 18 and older and found that two in 10 of them had changed their views of gays and lesbians in the previous five years to a more favorable one.

Their reasons? 34 percent said their views were influenced by seeing gay or lesbian characters on TV, and 29 percent said it was by a gay or lesbian character on film. Hollywood has been streaming LGBT characters into American homes for decades. The arc of inclusion may be long, and it bends towards pop culture.

Characters in comic books have advanced the conversation. Although independent comics lead the way with characters like Maggie and Hopey in Love and Rockets, for years the Comics Code Authority—and cultural attitudes—limited the role of LGBT characters in mainstream superhero titles. Over the last couple of decades, however, LGBT characters like the reimagined Batwoman and Green Lantern Alan Scott have made their way into comics, and both Marvel and DC have featured superhero storylines that featured same-sex marriage. 

No question that this is a wonderful thing for those LGBT consumers—seeing someone like you on a big or small screen is important and valid. That, however, is not the most important part of greater and more diverse representation in pop culture. What increased exposure of those most marginalized does, more than anything else, is win the hearts and minds of the majority of Americans.

This is the same for black Americans. In recent years, we see more and more black men and women on our screens, in our Netflix queues, on television and Hulu. For millions of Americans (and not merely white Americans) this slow reminder of the humanity of black Americans de-stigmatizes and expands the reductive monolithing of 14% of our population away from stereotypes and into the homes of people far less likely to encounter blacks in their communities.

Contrary to the concept that America is fundamentally racist, I'd argue we are fundamentally segregated. The flyover states with the majority of Americans unexperienced in the multicultural experiment (Iowa, Kansas, Arizona, Maine, Nebraska, Utah, both Dakotas, Vermont—all of which have less than five percent of the entire state population who are black) are populated with people who watch movies and television. 

These folks who have little contact with black Americans on a daily basis have representation in their theaters and homes every weekend and every night. They spend their money (but more crucially, their time) watching The Protege, Candyman, Summer of Soul, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions and All American, Insecure, The Chi, and The Equalizer. This is significant and, while foments often glacial changes in attitudes and mores, grows a deeper understanding and empathy with every viewing.

Which brings us to the MCU. Arguably a juggernaut built upon the successes of white male protagonists as the MCU has gained in worldwide popularity and influence so has Kevin Feige's commitment to expanding those cultural boundaries with increased inclusion. Black Panther is far from the best Marvel movie or even comic book movie in existence but it was a cultural moment that a major studio had never before created.

Sure, whole communities of black people buying out theaters so that black children could celebrate seeing heroes who looked like them was significant but more significant was that millions of white fanboys watched an all-black cast in a movie that included Afro-futurism and incredibly badass black women at its core play out in their backyards.

The Master of Kung Fu

Shang-Chi was created by writer Steve Englehart and artist Jim Starlin, debuting in Special Marvel Edition #15 in 1972. Created as a response to huge television success of Kung Fu, the character was originally known as the son of Fu Manchu and, when the rights to that character were denied, became the son of Xu Wenwu, the Mandarin. At one point, he was a part of Heroes for Hire which featured both Iron Fist and Luke Cage.

It is notable that the genius of Marvel is in connecting the past with the coming Phase 4 whether by intention or retroactively. The Ten Rings army was responsible for kidnapping Tony Stark way back in 2008. Jumping ahead to Iron Man 3 we meet Trevor Slattery, the fake Mandarin and then a Marvel One Shot that shows Slattery kidnapped from prison to meet Xu Wenwu. All in set-up for the latest MCU addition.

More like Thor than the typical origin film, Shang-Chi dumps right in the middle of things. The movie begins with the backstory of Xu Wenwu (Tony Leung)—narrated entirely in Mandarin Chinese by Jiang Li (Fala Chen)—and his possession of the ten rings. In the comic books the rings were on his fingers with each designated with a power. Now, they're more like martial arts practice rings, five on each arm and capable of pretty much anything the special effects team could come up.

Then we meet Shang-Chi (Simu Liu) and his friend, Katy (Awkwafina). The two are a winning combination and, wonderfully, are not romantically involved. Parking cars by day, singing karaoke by night until, on a San Francisco bus, the Ten Rings gang (lead by a giant white dude with a laser sword for a right hand) attack him for a pendant left by his deceased mother.

Shang-Chi doesn't need those magical rings to completely kick ass—he is the Master of Kung Fu without them. The sequence is fun, fast, clean, and ends with Katy contributing to the graces of saving an entire bus load of citizens while Shang beats the shit out of the thugs.

And off we go. A Macau fighting club run by his sister that is like an underground MMA for magical beings. An escape on the side of a building fighting ninjas. Some flashbacks informing the secret city behind the trees where his mom came from and how Shang became the warrior he is at the hands of his father. A water map on the floor. Sir Ben Kingsley and a faceless furry with wings. More backstory. Two dragons. A showdown. An arrow. Two end credit scenes.

It's a fucking Marvel movie, after all.

The lengths the director (Destin Daniel Cretton) goes to find authenticity in everything from language, customs, and dress to be a fully realized Asian American film as well as a superhero ride is laudable. His treatment of Xu Wenwu is one more in a chain of villains who seem less villainess and more driven by sorrow or justifiable rage.

Early MCU baddies were nuts. The Red Skull (power hungry madman), Obadiah Stane (power hungry madman), Malekith (power hungry Dark Elf madman), Ronan (power hungry...you get the picture). More recently, the MCU is moving away from the Good vs. Evil narratives and presenting a more complicated version of opposing forces in the universe.

Thanos, while a genocidal monster, was still persuasive in some way. Not the insane, cackling lunatic one would naturally associate with villainy but a being with a sense of purpose who does not see himself to be the bad guy. Kilmonger from Black Panther is the same—his rage is justified and only his means are nefarious. Xu Wenwu is less an evil warlord and more a grieving widower weary of conquest and unable to connect with his children.

Making even the master criminal relatable while simultaneously rooting for the hero is no small feat. It demonstrates a complexity of thought and perspective one would not expect from superhero movies and represents opportunities for the discussion of who our bad guys are in the non-cinematic world.

Combining that sophistication with an increasing diversity in who are the heroes—black, Asian, Latina—makes everyone relatable.

That's the crux of the foothold pop culture has on change. Make everyone relatable and even the kid in Kansas who has only known the two Korean kids in his class can find purchase of the magnificent multicultural country we continue to forge.

#Shang-Chi

[hotcoffeecoldmornings]

(This shit is long so bear with me.)

Can’t Eat, Can’t Sleep, Reach for the Stars

I haven’t felt this way in awhile. This ‘can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of love.’ 

It’s hard to describe. The last time I was all-consumed like this by a TV show and a ship, that TV show was The 100, that ship was Clexa, and my world was, quite honestly, turned upside down by it.

I used the first two seasons of The 100 as background noise as I wrote my Master’s Thesis in 2015. To be honest, I didn’t really know exactly what was happening until Bodyguard of Lies (an episode anyone reading this post probably remembers well) came on. And a passionate kiss between two world leaders left me speechless and shocked. I was blindsided by it, unaware that that kiss would be the beginning of not only finding myself, but also accepting myself, and then finding a chosen family I never knew that I needed because of it.

There’s been alot of (okay, not a lot, but more) f/f ships on TV since then. Maggie and Alex. Nicole and Waverly. Elena and Syd. Kat and Adena. Anissa and Grace. Stef and Lena. Karolina and Nico. And the list goes on… While each of these ships is equally important, and each one represents another push towards more inclusive storytelling, there was never a ship that hit me as hard as Clarke and Lexa did.

Until now.

Harold, They’re Lesbians

Gay. Witches.

Motherland: Fort Salem said the words. And I fucking came running.

Okay, so it took me a few weeks… Thank you, twitter timeline, for finally getting my ass on board. It’s not that I didn’t want to start the show. It’s that my anxiety-ridden brain had other plans for me in mid-March. Like spending the majority of my time researching a global pandemic and then crawling into a depression hole because of it… Or something like that.

But nonetheless, I’m here now. And I’m fucking staying.

I knew I’d love this show. The concept of witches peppered with the idea that sexuality is irrelevant is honestly my one and only weakness. So I went into episode one with high hopes. And I sure as hell was not disappointed.

Episode 1 gave me even more than I could’ve asked for. We meet three uniquely powerful individuals, who all come from three uniquely interesting backgrounds. Abigail Bellweather, born into a lineage of the most powerful and elite witches Fort Salem has ever seen. Tally Craven, the last one standing in her family’s long-line of service, selflessly choosing to say the oath when she didn’t technically have to. And Raelle Collar, who has an unparalleled set of powers, combining her mother’s Christo-Pagan ways with those of the seeds learned at Fort Salem.

Rounding out that already brilliant cast is Scylla Ramshorm, the ‘sexy weird’ Necro who may or may not be evil (but we love her all the same). General Sarah Alder, the original witch who signed the Salem Accord, selling out every future witch to the United States Army, and whose ego quite often gets the best of her. And Anacostia Quartermaine, the Bellweather Unit’s Drill Sergeant who has a peculiar fondness (and leniency) for Raelle Collar.

The fact that this television show is entirely female centered (like, we’re talking 60 seconds of male screen time in the pilot), is what separates this show from most. Men exist in the world of Fort Salem as characters to exclusively propel the female leads forward, which is a stark contrast to the majority of shows right now.  And not only is the entire main cast female, the main lead is gay. And honestly, the sexuality of every character on the show is questionably debatable as well. Except for Abigail, who quite clearly is into any and all men, and Tally, who grew up on a Matrifocal Compound and ended up in Fort Salem as a virgin. Which, of course, no shade to her, but it did strike me as odd when Abigail immediately assumed Tally’s virgin-ness when growing up in an all-female world was brought up.

So let’s start there, shall we?

 The Heteronormative Narrative (or not…)

Something I did find puzzling about Motherland: Fort Salem (and the only thing, really) is how they portray sexuality, relationships, and love. In regards to sexuality, Eliot Laurence, the creator and executive producer, has been incredibly forward in interviews with the narrative that ‘your sexual preference doesn’t matter in this world.’ Which I appreciate to the fullest, trust me. But pardon my slight hesitation when I hear that line, because I think we’ve all been burned by it once before.

Motherland: Fort Salem has done a tremendous job of this. They’ve allowed characters to own their sexuality without question. It was never a thing when Raelle started dating Scylla. At Beltane, everyone went off with whomever the dance paired them with - even if that meant the same gender, and even if that meant three or four or five of them. Sexuality, in regards to same-sex partners, is never a character arc in this show, and it’s never there to create a plot point. 

HowEVER, there were a few things I noticed that confused that fact. 

Like I said about Abigail in the very first episode, when the Bellweather Unit is meeting for the first time, why was Abigail so quick to question Tally’s virginity after learning she comes from a Matrifocal Compound? If there are no heteronorms in the world of Motherland: Fort Salem, then why is it assumed that losing your virginity is related to relations with a man? Even though Tally is (well… was) a virgin, why would that question be brought up? If roles were reversed and it was Raelle living on the Matrifocal Compound, the conversation would’ve gone strikingly different, and it would’ve supported this heteronormative narrative that I thought we were trying to avoid. I’m just going to blame this one line on how badly Abigail wants the D, so sleeping with a woman wouldn’t even cross her mind.

But then what about the idea of this ‘five-year marriage contract’? It’s simply about producing a child, so I assume a woman could never have that sort of thing with another woman, and that those women could never add to their lineage (unless they entered into a five-year marriage contract simply to reproduce). Doesn’t this, alone, signify a heteronormative world without even meaning to do so? While they accept LGBTQ+ relationships, how do they actually fit into the society and culture that this show has created? Wouldn’t the gay witches be seen as almost inadequate in carrying on the gene if they don’t have a child? (AmI just thinking too much into this...?)

But then again, the whole concept of ‘love’ in Fort Salem is rather insignificant itself. As Gerit mentions, no one is supposed to spend their life with just one person. Witches are committed to one another in five-year partnerships to reproduce, and then that’s it. So in a way, I understand that nobody, no matter what their sexuality is, really gets to experience this fairytale ending that we’re used to seeing in a (*cough* heterosexual) ship on TV. And in a way, I also think that’s what makes this show all the more fascinating. Eliot Laurence gave everyone a level playing field by just removing the idea of a happily ever after altogether. In Laurence’s world, witches are meant to train and fight and die for their country. Love is their weakness. But what’s so compelling about that is even though love is their weakness, he made sure that love also manifests into their greatest strength.

From what I’ve seen in interviews for Laurence, every single thing has a purpose. So I’m quick to let this go, and see where he takes us. He’s been building this world inside his head for nine years, so I know that there’s so much more to this story than what can be told in a 10-episode season.

 But Back to the Lesbians

Anyway, back to love. Specifically gay love. I wish I could put into simple words my obsession with Raelle and Scylla. 

From the incredible chemistry that Taylor Hickson and Amalia Holm share on-screen together to the directors and writers who’ve portrayed their love story so magically, Raelle and Scylla are truly something special. They’ve taken the place of a ship this queer fandom lost when Lexa was killed. It’s a ship that you want to hate, because every part of this story tells me to hate Scylla. She’s Spree. She’s vindictive. She’s dangerous. Yet every part of my brain tells me to love her. And to love them together.

I don’t like easy stories. I want stories that make the ending worth it. I want hardships and pain and hurt and work when it comes to love. Which is why I like the story of Raelle and Scylla. There was a spark between them in their very first scene together- a spark you could feel through the TV. It was believable and real. They come from similar backgrounds of loss and solitude, and that’s what originally bound them together. And over the next seven episodes, we watched their relationship grow. We saw their vulnerabilities, their growth, their passion. But now we’re going to see the hardship. The pain, the anger, the betrayal. 

I appreciate that they’re not skimping on telling any part of their story. The two are special together, and so far, this show has proved that.

 She’s Special

I want to break down Raelle Collar before bringing up anything else, because, well, obviously she’s the main character, but she’s also got a lot going on. The fact that Raelle channels her power through something other than the typical ‘seed’ is something that will be of importance to why she’s so powerful. Petra Bellweather, herself, claims that Raelle’s mom, Willa, used unconventional methods that delivered incredible results. “She was the fixer every unit wanted to deploy with.” 

While all witches in Basic Training are learning about utilizing their extra set of vocal cords to create magic songs, Raelle can do it in a way that’s reminiscent of where she grew up- Chippewa Cession. In the very first episode, she makes note that her family was there before it became a Cession. Aka, before the land was given to the Chippewa tribe in exchange for their magic.

Raelle comes from a line of witches that all have more unique abilities than what’s taught at Basic Training. She uses a combination of Native American spirituality/Christo-Paganism skills during her days at Fort Salem, which brings up questions (and judgment) from other witches. It seems as though that kind of magic was the way witches used to do things before Sarah Alder released her song into the world and created a vocalizing army with it. Raelle’s peers look disgusted when they see her still using the same ways witches once did. It’s particularly noticeable when she heals people, and recites Matthew 7:7, “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” The entire theme of the Book of Matthew, in regards to Christianity, is about prayer. Asking and receiving. That God will provide you with what’s needed, and nothing more. But when it comes to Paganism, it’s about the law of attraction and return in our universe. It outlines that there is no life without balance - that all prayers can be answered, but they’ll be answered with things that are taken from elsewhere. All prayers almost have a consequence. Just like all magic has a consequence. 

Raelle’s power, at least what she knows of it up until now, is based on a consensual balance, bringing the theme of Paganism’s Matthew 7:7 into the type of witchcraft she practices. She can heal someone, but what she heals them from will be transferred onto her. Balance. Consequence.

Bringing General Sarah Alder back into this, this is the same type of magic that she traded for back in the 1700’s when she granted the Chippewa Tribe the entire length of the Mississippi River. In exchange, she gained the magic that could keep her eternally young. But just like the magic that Raelle does, this age defying practice has consequences too, and requires balance. Every 50-60 additional years that General Alder adds on to her endless life, a young witch must be sacrificed to take on those years, and must stand by General Alder the rest of her short-lived life. 

But where does the balance go?

Adil is such a great addition to the cast because he sheds a light on something so crucially ignored on campus. All magic has balance. This is teased throughout the season, like when General Alder hits turbulence on her way to The Hague and jokes (but not really jokes), “I assume I have one of you to blame for that.” Or how Raelle soaks up her ‘patients’ illness. But it’s not truly smacked in our faces until Adil says it.

As Abigail is flaunting her ability to *one day* “grind iron into ore and mountains into dust,” Adil drops a truth bomb on her. “All that weather you fight with has a cost. Floods. Failing crops. Famine. Every war, people starve.” She’s quick to reply that the good they do far outweighs the bad. But to who? Certainly not to Adil and his people. Meeting him is going to give our recruits a serious insight into just how consequential their ‘work’ can be. He’s going to play a crucial role in realizing how manipulative and egotistical General Alder has been. 

Not only is weather an issue, but plagues. “Like the one attacking my sister.” Adil and Khalida come into the storyline because Khalida is sick with a deathly black webbing wrapped around her body. When they first make it to the Military Outpost (somewhere in the dessert between Russia and China?), the Soldier who meets them at the gate yells, “they’re here.” So were they expecting them? 

Raelle eventually is the one who heals Khalida, (by using her Christo-pagan means) but instead of taking up the illness like it usually does, instead, it infects the giant mushroom that Raelle touched earlier. 

The balance of Mother Mushroom.

I go back and forth between theories for the giant mushroom growing under Fort Salem. But today, I’m convinced the mushroom is attached to General Alder’s vitality. And consequently, the entire vitality of Fort Salem as well. In one episode, Berryessa reminds us that all life on campus is directly connected to Alder. And if what Scylla says in My Witches, that “life becomes death, which becomes life again,” is relative to the life on campus and how General Alder parallels that, then this theme of balance throughout the series is more prominent than we realize.

The giant mushroom living under campus is clearly important. It has hands and replicates faces and takes on diseases and Izadora is not a fan of  anyone touching it. So yes, you could say this fungi is a main character now.

But. Why?

“In the kingdom of plants, mushrooms occupy the underworld. Nothing ever really dies.” Mushrooms have an entire underground network of language to one another. And they are responsible for the breakdown and decomposition of death so that organic matter can become something else. Necros have an obvious connection to this ecological process too, so they must have a connection to the continuous process that General Alder goes through to support and sustain life on her campus. 

I think that the “Mother Mycelium” signifies each and every consequence that Fort Salem has accumulated. It holds the hurt and death and pain and regret of everything General Alder has created. And now that the Mushroom is infected with whatever plague Khalida had, I think it’s going to wreak havoc on Fort Salem. Magic is based on balance, and I think massive consequences are coming to make up for years of disparity. 

One last thing on my mushroom-thoughts, is when Helen Graves said “the dead make excellent eyes and ears.” An underground network of mushrooms all connected to recently dead organisms would certainly be a great way to gain insight too. Scylla mentions that she needs something recently dead to grow her deathcap, so does this Mushroom need to be constantly “fed” with death to continue the creation of life? 

Does Alder know about that? Are the mass-murders that the Spree are doing related to this? Killing hundreds of people at a time would definitely be a good way to keep the mushroom o’ death fed. Is Alder behind the Spree!?

 Sexy Weird 

Speaking of Spree... Can we talk Scylla now? First of all, what the hell is this girl’s timeline? When we first meet her, she’s a cadet (second year) in War College already, meaning she would’ve had to enlist on Conscription Day the year before Raelle. Yes? In Mother Mycelium, we see that she *might* (still don’t believe it) have been the person behind that first Spree attack on Conscription Day of this year (so when Raelle, Tally, and Abigail enlisted), so was she at Basic Training for an entire year before deciding to become Spree? Did she enlist knowing that she would eventually be Spree? Does this ever get addressed in the show?

Since we’re here, I might as well say there’s no way Scylla did that. I’ll never believe it. And I’m using my one semester of Greek Mythology in college to tell you why (who knew that class would eventually come in handy)

In My Witches, when Tally, Abigail, and Glory first meet Scylla, Tally makes it clear that ‘Scylla’ is a Greek name. Okay. Greek. Cool. Mythology. Let’s go. I already knew that Eliot Laurence doesn’t waste any minute of screen time when it comes to plot development and storytelling, so my meta brain did a little digging.

In Greek Mythology, Scylla was a sea-monster who haunted the rocks of a very narrow strait, opposite of the whirlpool of Charybdis. The monster’s purpose was to lead ships and boats towards the whirlpool, which was lethal to all who attempted to pass. Scylla was used to lure boats towards Charybdis, but was never meant for actually destroying them. Scylla was a fear tactic, not a murderous monster. In poetry, it’s often said that Scylla isn’t a monster at all, just born into a monstrous family. In conclusion (from my 4 months of Freshman-level Greek Mythology and a little refreshment on Google) I think Scylla is simply being used to lure people to the Spree, but not actually doing the mass-murdering that is being shown in the episode. 

What I do know is that Scylla Ramshorn is absolutely Amalia Holm. Mainly because I refuse to accept that Raelle is falling for the red head (sorry, red head). But also because at the end of the Pilot, when Scylla (in red head disguise) looked into the mirror, the balloon was her reflection, and it followed everything that she did. But in other scenes, when Scylla’s face is the normal Scylla face, she can see her own reflection. So the redhead girl is unimportant. Plus, IMDB says she never appears again this season... 

We Are The Spree 

As much as I hate to believe that Raelle’s mom (or Aunt!) is alive and leading the Spree, the connections between the two entities do add up. Both (Spree and Collar’s) are against the authority and power that the Witch Army has over populations of witches. They’re both against General Sarah Alder. I believe they both use spoken word magic rather than just vocalized magic. When the Spree carry out their attacks, they’re whispering words under their breath, not singing any song. Which is reminiscent of how the Collar’s do magic. Additionally, it would make sense as to why the Spree would want Scylla to bring them Raelle. And I still can’t get over the conversation between Raelle and Tally when Raelle explains her family’s combat charm. “A bowerbird’s foot. They love anything blue.”

Blue? Why. WHY. 

Maybe Willa Collar was captured by the Spree? Or the Aunt was? Or the Spree needs Raelle to heal someone? 

One last weird very unthought out theory goes with the other Biblical verse Raelle recites - Isaiah 43:2. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” The fact that all Spree attacks have happened with something to do water- in the snow, at the pool, on a cruiseship. And the fact that the last line of that verse is literally, “you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” This type of witchcraft has to relate to how the Spree does magic. Right??

Now I’m re-talking myself into the fact that the Collar’s might be somehow leading Spree...

 But who’s ‘we’?

If the Collar’s are in charge of Spree then this next theory would actually check out. 

Anacostia has been a little more over-bearing with Raelle than any of the other girls. On multiple occasions, she’s said how Raelle is gifted. In fact, they all have. Even Abigail in Hail Beltane mentions that “Raelle didn’t go outside of canon, she’s naturally gifted.” They all know she’s gifted. It would make sense if the Collar’s were the ones running Spree, and that Anacostia, aka. General Alder’s head bitch, was sent to protect Raelle from ever joining them. Alder wants to capitalize on the powers that Raelle has, and keep them in the Witch Army. 

But I also think Anacostia could be playing General Alder. There have been too many times where she stares at Alder just a little bit too intently, and I can’t stop thinking that she might be in some sort of rebellious group too. Maybe a certain cell of Spree?

Because you can’t deny that Anacostia has also taken in interest in Scylla, particular to keep her away from Raelle. When Anacostia first caught them flying high on Salva, she told Scylla to stay away from Raelle, and it seemed as though she (tried) to use some sort of coercion magic while doing so. When Anacostia then saw them together at the Bellweather wedding, she almost sounded shocked, “I expressly told you to stay away from her.” Did Anacostia attempt coercion magic on Scylla and it didn’t work? And if she did, why didn’t it work?

That entire exchange felt odd yet familiar. Like the two have history. “Your name wouldn’t have been on the list. You’re not supposed to be here.” Particularly the “you’re not supposed to be here.” Did Anacostia know about the attack on the Bellweather’s? And did she think it would be threatened with Scylla there? Or did she know that Scylla was supposed to bring Raelle to the Spree at 6pm. And was sent to make sure Scylla never completed that task. 

I found it interesting that Anacostia was never seen fighting off the balloons like every other Witch was when they appeared. And her being at the actual wedding felt odd too. Especially if she’s General Alder’s right-hand (wo)man, because last time I checked, Alder and Petra Bellweather weren’t on the greatest terms. In fact, none of the General’s are on great terms with Alder. 

Since we’re now on Bellweather season...

Camarilla. No, not Carmilla.

There’s certainly a second threat in this show. And they were the ones behind the attack at the Bellweather’s. Not only has this already been proven by Jessica Sutton on Twitter (lols) but the clues were literally all there. They didn’t use any magic to fight. They had to use a mechanized sound machine to stop Abigail and Petra from using their powers. Then they covered themselves with gasoline and lit themselves on fire before the mother-daughter duo blew them away. It wasn’t Spree. But it was meant to look like Spree. And I think the balloons were simply a distraction, so all efforts and power would be outside fighting off the balloons while the civilian waiter’s could attack. 

But who is doing this?

It’s been brought up that there are alot of humans who don’t agree with the Witch Army that Alder leads. Even the President of the United States is hesitant about them. “You, too, are bound by rule of law to the will of the American people, who have elected me to represent their interests and protect them. Don’t you forget it. Or you may find yourself reminded.” Then Tally gets confronted later in that episode by a civilian who says, “It’s witches who are committing these attacks. It’s your kind of people .” And then even later in the series, there’s talk of a “growing debate in congress to revoke the Accord and disband the army.” So you could say there are definite opinions about this Army by civilians. 

In A Biddy’s Life, there’s a shot when Raelle and Scylla are in the room with weapons once used to kill witches. There’s an undeniably important shot of the Camarilla Scythe. Camarilla, itself, is defined as a small group of people acting as private advisers to a ruler or politician with a shared and nefarious purpose to carry out secret plots. 

Since civilians are the ones that are most opposed to the Witch Army, it makes sense that maybe the President, herself, is the one behind these attacks. She’s trying to take down the most Elite of the Witches (the Bellweather’s), hence inhibiting the Army from being as successful as it’s been in the past. And what better way than to kill the most elite witches of child-bearing age. 

While this theory checks out, I can’t help but to also think that Petra Bellweather could be behind the attacks. I know, it’s a stretch, (specifically because it’s her own family that’s being targeted) but I do love that ‘good powers, bad people’ trope. And what better way to make sure nobody questions your efforts if you’re the last one they’d suspect? Petra Bellweather has been itching to boot Alder from head witch honcho for awhile. Since killing Bellweather’s is the ultimate attack against witches, this would be a great strategy to showcase that Alder is inept in dealing with these enemies, creating a fall in power. And eventually, a rise in another. A Bellweather. 

Okay, I know what you’re all probably thinking. “So you’re saying that she wanted her own daughter killed!?” Not necessarily. When you watch Bellweather Season, and specifically the wedding scenes, they put an insane emphasis on timing. And I don’t believe that that’s just because of Scylla trying to get Raelle out of there by 6pm. When you watch the sequence back, the Bellweather Unit was supposed to be having their interview with the Dean of War College, starting at 5:30ish. If the interview took a good bit, say 30-45 minutes, this would strategically put Abigail not in the line of fire (aka Charvel’s room) at 6pm when they struck. 

But on the complete other hand, Abigail was supposed to be up with Charvel at that time helping her get ready. Meaning if it wasn’t Petra Bellweather, someone perfectly timed both Bellweather’s of childbearing age to conveniently be in the same place at the same time. 

Then the fact that Scylla was meant to leave with Raelle at 6pm (the exact moment the waiter’s and balloons struck), can’t go unnoticed. Did they want her to leave with Raelle at 6pm because the Spree knew about the attack? Did someone warn them? Does this explain why Anacostia was shocked to see Scyalla. “You’re not supposed to be here.” Why wasn’t she supposed to be there????

I’m just going to tap out of this theory now. 

But One More Thing

This might be a totally aggressive theory, and I have to credit the initial spark of this idea to my girlfriend, because during my 67th rewatch of this show, she brought up something I’d never thought of before. She asked me what Scylla’s purpose of attending the wedding was, and if the person she was supposed to bring to Penelope Road at 6pm really was Raelle? 

This got thinkING. What if it was someone else???

When you look back at all the times Scylla spends talking to her balloon mirror, they never actually say Raelle’s name. Sure, we’re meant to believe that Raelle is the obvious target. But what if that’s a cover?? What if she’s using Raelle to infiltrate something else and get to someone else??

It would make sense to use Raelle to target Abigail instead- an elite Bellweather. Like I said, this is a very unlikely theory but it would definitely be a shock to literally everyone (except my girlfriend apparently)...

Has the entirety of the show been leading us down a path to distract us from something else going on!? With every other ounce of brilliance here, I wouldn’t even doubt it.

In Conclusion

I went into this show expecting to be seen and represented as a queer woman, but what I actually got was so much more. What I got from this show is the realization that me being queer doesn’t have to have anything to do with me being a woman at all. My strength, and will, and mistakes, and growth, and grace, and support, and passion, are what make me a woman. Each of our stories are deserving enough to be told just because we are women.

I’ve struggled with that fact my entire life - my womanhood.

Femininity, feminism, and female empowerment are all things I’ve only recently connected with. I was raised in the culture of traditional gender roles. My dad went to work and my mom stayed home.  It’s not that I was necessarily taught that men and women must occupy those roles; it’s just that’s all I knew. To even further confuse my adolescent existentialism, not only was my mother a stay-at-home mom, she was also in the Marine Corps. And she never really understood the fact that not all women are as strong as she is.

My mom’s a badass, don’t get me wrong. She’s one of my hero’s. She came from a family who didn’t have much, and after realizing that she couldn’t afford to go to college, she enlisted instead. Six years later, she went to Penn State on a full-ride. She’s worked for every ounce of success that she’s seen, and she’s worked her ass off for it. But because of that, she struggles with the idea of feminism.

I can’t blame her too much. I understand the mindset she’s coming from. Growing up with that being instilled in my mind was hard though. Because it was expected that I, too, grow up to be a strong independent woman. 

I graduated in the predominantly male industry of agriculture (I want to be a farmer, okay!?). All through college, grad school, and post-grad school, I worked on farm after farm after farm. And it was there that I was introduced to the idea of toxic masculinity. I tolerated comments that I won’t even say out loud. I’ve “accidentally” been touched in more ways than I care to count. And what I hate the most about it all, is that I fucking tolerated it. I’d laugh it off, and then I’d walk away, mortified at what I’d actually just put up with. And while by no means do I blame my upbringing and home life on this, I do blame the upbringing and home life on the female characters I saw on television. If Brooke Davis was constantly and overly sexualized in high school then I guess I was supposed to, too. Right??

Sure, I still hear comments that I wish I didn’t. But I’m also surrounded by people and characters who taught me to never put up with the shit I once did. Female characters are portraying a storyline that people take more seriously now. They’re persevering. And that jumps off the screen in Motherland: Fort Salem. 

It’s taken me a while to realize how Raelle and Scylla have affected me as much as Clakre and Lexa did (two characters who literally awakened my sexuality). But I think I get it now. 

I love both Raelle and Scylla. Each one. Individually. As witches. As warriors. As females. As humans. As strong female characters. So, in a way, watching this show has awakened something else in me that I’ve also been suppressing all along. My femininity. My strength. My perseverance. 

Sure, Raelle and Scylla are my favorite ship right now, but it wasn’t them being together that made me fall in love with this show. Oddly enough, it was them being apart. It’s the fact that each one stands on her own as a unique and beautifully complicated story. And it’s the fact that I, too, am deserving of a beautifully complicated story.

Last Section, I Swear 

Motherland: Fort Salem is a magical mix of intense story building, relatable character development, and fascinating cinematography, all while being told through a gender and sexuality normative opposite of what we’re used to seeing. It’s a show that encompasses female strength unlike anything I’ve experienced before, where men are the background noise who aid in pushing the plot forward. It’s a show that deserves another season. And another and another and another and another. 

It’s a show I needed ten+ years ago, at 18 years old, freshly out of high school and wondering why the fuck I never had crushes on guys like everyone else my age did. It’s the show I needed so I didn’t always wonder why I was so obsessed with Peyton Sawyer and Summer Roberts and why I was the only one I knew who thought Torrance and Missy should’ve ended up together. It’s the show I needed to learn that my femininity doesn’t make me any less tough than my male counterparts. It’s the show I needed so I never put up with anyone’s shit. It’s the show I needed to teach me that I am storm and I am fury. 

It’s the show I needed then. But it’s also the show I’m so happy that I have now.

#motherlandfortsalem #motherland fort salem #raylla #clexa #motherland fort salem theory #scylla ramshorn #scylla #raelle #raelleandscylla #raelle collar #lgbtq #this is so long i'm so sorry #abigail bellweather #tally craven

[ghostmartyr]

(1/3)Hi, Immi! I’m sorry it will be a long-read, but I can’t keep it bottled anymore. When you say you feel tired about Historia’s situation I can easily relate because I feel the same, exhausted and irritated. It’s just exhausting to keep looking for some positive signs when it becomes more and more obvious that Isayama just made her irrelevant because she’d turn into an obstacle to his plot as an active character. I believe the main reason for him to not explain her situation is that he wasn't

(2/3)able to come up with logical reasons for Historia to follow Eren’s plan and to have a child so he just forced that into the plot. The same way Survey Corps guys just miraculously met Annie eating the pie. We don’t see Historia, her words and her thoughts because it’d destroy the flimsy screen Isayama have draped over her. ... The other Historia-related thing which bothers me a lot is that quite a lot of people argue – in relation to the pregnancy – that she isn’t exactly a lesbian.

(3/3)Like it’d somehow make everything better! They completely miss the point. Even if we’d replace Historia with a random 101% hetero girl she’d still have a kid with a person she doesn’t love, with a person who abused her during her childhood, and this child would be created ONLY to allow Eren to enact global genocide. Wow, what a great improvement! … I’m really sorry for being such an aggressive pessimist but I’m just tired of being optimistic for 25 months straight to no avail. I guess.

Yo.

Put politely, some of the things this particular plot point inspired people to say is why I do my level best to avoid the fandom outside of close friends. It was... not good.

For a quick note, since everything you said has been on my mind for over two years, and ah yes, how it festers:

Coercive sex has nothing to do with preference.

I’m bolding that because hell, did it need to be said when 107 dropped, and as far as I’m aware, it still needs to be said. Instead of people being upset and hurt, the conversation turned into how much of a right people even had to those feelings, because why ever would lack of consent bother someone unless they had a stake in an interpretation of canon.

But in any case, yeah. The fact that Historia’s sexuality became the debate topic it did after 107 is -- hell. I know why it came about, and I could draw a very neat logic tree, and honestly, some of it did come from legitimate places of grievance.

Watching fandom feed like locusts on the discussion of what type of queer had been trapped in a dubiously consensual sexual relationship was still painful. Watching her entire relationship with Ymir be invalidated every other post, when that had limited relevance, was a twist to the knife.

We have a character whose arc revolves around finding herself and reclaiming her agency. The very next arc she is a participant in cheats her out of that agency. She’s nineteen, and everyone around her might not actively pressure her to breed children, but the situation is outlined so that she knows if she doesn’t, everyone will suffer.

This character has routinely protected children, and knows the suffering of being born unwanted.

It’s a disgusting story, and it doesn’t even get to be her story. It exists to make Eren upset. As if he really needs help with that. And after two years, the only addition we have to her role is that she might have gone along with it to help global genocide happen.

I have been waiting for this story to explain itself for a while. Each month, it doesn’t. Each month, I very carefully do not shout to the rafters exactly what I feel about this, because I’ve chosen to wait and trust that the story is not actually being this stupid. Each month, it seems less and less likely that this is ever getting fixed, and I feel like an idiot for going along with it.

However much I think there’s room for a reveal, each month, we’re a tick closer to the end, and nothing crops up. My argument has always been that for something kept off the stage for so long, it’s going to stay off the stage until it’s ready to blow us away. Great, awesome, but in the meantime, by all appearances, one of our main characters agreed to get knocked up by a guy she doesn’t like with a child she doesn’t want for the sake of a global genocide she doesn’t support.

When our actual main character is murdering literally everyone on the planet over how intolerable he finds that practice.

This does not make sense. This does not work on a thematic level, it doesn’t work on a logical level, it doesn’t work on a character level, and yet I’m here, stuck putting up with it for those exact reasons. This is the exact type of thing that got Sherlock fans so much mockery. “No guys, it’s bad on purpose for the secret extra season!”

I’m tired of being optimistic, too. Being optimistic often feels like letting it go unsaid how fucked every part of this is. Loads of characters die, or don’t show up for months at a time, but having a character’s emotional consistency actively dismantled to serve another character’s arc is something that basically never happens in this series. Unless you’re Ymir or Historia. Nice.

Because of how good the character work has been, I am optimistic. Still.

At the same time, the things I love most about the series have been fucked over worse and more completely than anything else going on in the story, and sometimes, I would like a little room to be pissed.

Where is my fucking wall scene, WIT?

#attack on asks #shingeki no no #I really hope it isn't as bad as it looks #because it looks so fucking bad #not to mention all of this is happening #while the themes discussed in her arc #are still being honored and present #but just y'know #with everyone except her #it makes it feel like a mistake to grow attached to historia as a character #because she's being used like the cardboard cutout she learned to move beyond #stories that make you regret picking them up should be like 'oh no my emotions' #not 'oh no you completely wasted my time by making me think this was going somewhere' #anyway anon #fucking mood

[goat-yells-at-everything]

Is Cuties REALLY that bad?

Y’all saw me. I defended this a few weeks ago when first glimpses came out. I said “we havn’t seen any of it yet so we cant condemn it!”

Its out now so I watched it.

Is it REALLY that bad?

.

.

.

FUCKING. YES.

I made it 28 minutes into the film. I can not watch more.

In the first half an hour we had multiple pans of YOUNG GIRLS bodies as they moved and “danced” sexually but what made me shut it down? In LESS than half an hour the movie explicitly shows a PREPUBESCENT GIRLS breast. Full on, whole nipple, totally uncovered.

In the first half an hour.

Gawd I feel like I need a fucking shower now.

Why do I keep harping on the first half an hour? Because if thats the level you START at, where the hell do you go next?!

I JOKE about horror movies that “show” “teens” having sex or in sexual situations. Thing is? THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY TEENS. They are adult actors pretending to be teens. While its uncomfortable in a way, its not an actual child on screen.

This? This IS. These are ACTUAL children in this movie.

I can see where the story is going. A young Muslim girl and her family have just moved somewhere (presumably France but I’m not sure). She is “coming of age” in her religion. She must wear a head scarf and attend the serious religious meetings instead of being allowed to play with her younger sibling and the other kids.

She wanders down a hallway after the meeting while her mother is talking to another woman and she hears salsa music playing. She goes to investigate and finds a girl dancing suggestively in the laundry room. You’re meant to think this girl is much older until she turns around and you see her baby face and realize shes no older than the main character. Awkward psudo-lesbian feelings show on both girls faces before the scene cuts.

The next day our main character (no, I’m not invested enough to learn any names here) goes to her new school and sees the “Cuties” for the first time. 4 girls her age dressed in short dresses, crop tops, and tight pants. They do some weird statue BS that I STILL dont understand before the principal yanks one girl off to her office.

MC comes across the Cuties practicing under a bridge and spies on them from above. The girls get pissed for some reason and throw rocks at her. MC is stupid enough to just stand there while they throw rocks and gets one to the face. The next day at school, the girls harass her, call her ugly and stupid, ect. That night she uses her dads phone (which she stole) to look at instagram pictures of these girls and starts taking pictures of herself and posting them too.

Jump forward to next school day shes in the bathroom and listening to these girls talk about pictures of boy parts they have. SHE WIPES HER ASS very purposely for the camera (they dont show her bare ass but she takes tissue and wipes at the back of her butt. its obvious what she was doing) then leaves the stall to look over the girls’ shoulders at the pictures. For SOME reason, the girls dont tell her to fuck off which I’d have expected from this Mean Girls wanabe click but instead invite her into their conversation and start asking about her LITTLE BROTHERS private parts. Her brothers are, like, 5 and <1?! They then happen to see a boy the ring leader likes and dash after him. When he goes into the bathroom the girls dare MC to go take pictures of his bits. So she does. She just waltzes into the boys bathroom (which doesn’t seem to have a door?!) and starts recording him with her phone. When she runs out, the girls are gone, OBVIOUSLY.

Next day head bitch is at MC’s house and criticizes her for not being able to see anything and asks MC “do you even know how to use this?” MC then proceeds to lock her brother in the bathroom FOR SOME REASON and then head bitch breaks into the room they aren’t supposed to be in. They do some CREPPY FUCKING SHIT with gummy bears then head bitch grabs MC’s phone to show her a video.

It starts off pretty meh. Its some tweens dancing in ways they should not even know how to dance but nothing worse than we’ve seen so far.

Then one girl “accidentally” shows her breast for the camera.

The girl is, like, MAYBE 15? MAYBE????

And that is where I stopped.

This was all within the first TWENTY EIGHT FUCKING MINUTES.

If that was their best foot forward and it just gets worse from there? I tasted bile in my mouth at just that!

I am 100% for free speech with only one caveat, that no speech or act violates the rights or safety of another person.

This movie could have been made without actively harming these children. How? NOT USING MINORS. This movie’s story isn’t anything new. A girl from a traditional religious family discovers her body and her sexuality. I could find a fucking DOZEN Hallmark channel movies that do the exact same thing. The only difference was this traditional religious family was Muslim and not Christian. This movie has been done over and over again, and with quite a bit of the uncomfortable shit but its not nearly as uncomfortable because the actors are FUCKING ADULTS.

And whats worse? The basic story about her family and how shes breaking from it, it actually IS interesting. Its not NEW but its still interesting. Apparently her dad decided to take a second wife and her mom isn’t taking it well. Its an interesting look into a new culture and I LOATH that I cant see how this plays out simply because the fucking CHILD PORN that brackets the interesting story.

I thought this was going to be like Gotta Kick It Up or something. I think thats what supporters want people to THINK it is. But GKiU didn’t put literal CHILD PORN front and center.

Also? From a technical perspective? Its just a badly made movie.

There are odd and awkward lines, dead space that serves no purpose, and characters who’s actions make literally no sense. Camera angles are awkward and uncomfortable in situations that you dont have a REASON to be made to feel uncomfortable (funny enough, the scenes they say we SHOULD feel uncomfortable aren’t subject to these awkward angles). Scenes that make literally NO SENSE like the weird statue thing???

Its just. Its just all so badly made! Badly filmed. Badly written. Badly acted.

But what can you say? This movie had bad intentions behind it from the get go. Of course they aren’t going to put effort into the story or the acting. Thats not what its about.

This does not deserve a “goat yells at” tag.

Its just fucking disgusting.

Period.

#Cuties movie #its just cp #its just all cp #its gross