#and then swim backwards with him it's so funny oh my gosh

[floweryfandomnerd]

Laughing about how skyward sword Link just has absolutely no clue how to swim

#loz #skyward sword #watch him swim he uses one hand and barely kicks his legs #and then swim backwards with him it's so funny oh my gosh #character development is learning how to swim in your reincarnations #(thank goodness botw Link can swim given how he likes to catch fish)

[backtothestart02]

If Only She Knew - 6/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: You’ll like this one. ;)

Commissioned by Patricia H.

*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing.

...

Chapter 6 -

He and Joe had been waiting a good extra 10 minutes than it took them to change for Iris to come out.

“Iris, honey, we don’t have all day,” Joe had said five minutes in.

“Actually, we do,” she’d quipped. “It’s only 11a.m.”

Joe shared a look with Barry over that remark but waited nonetheless.

“Iris, do you need…help?” Barry asked, then regretted it.

He couldn’t imagine how he’d make it through helping the love of his life into her swimsuit, but it was the only thing he could think of to say in the passing minutes. Thankfully, Joe didn’t so much as flinch.

“I do not, thank you very much!” she’d said, and then the door flung open and she stepped down out into the open.

Joe hadn’t allowed Iris to get a bikini – there’d been a big fight over that – but the halter-top tankini she had insisted on left a decent-sized strip of her stomach exposed, and that was quite enough to make Barry’s stomach flip.

Her top was white with multi-colored polka dots and her bottoms were a light blue. Iris kept her hair up in a high ponytail with tendrils of hair floating around her neck and one on each side of her forehead, framing her face. Her pink flip-flops were platform and increased her height by two inches, which appeared to give her an extra dose of confidence.

Barry’s trunks had a pattern of red flames – per Iris’ insistence. It was such a contrast to his super pale skin that he felt exposed, but he reassured himself with the possibility of getting suntanned this year instead of sunburned. Time would tell.

Right now, he couldn’t take his eyes off Iris.

If she asked him to put sunscreen on her back where she couldn’t reach, just touching her skin would –

“Great! We can go now,” Joe said, heaving the beach bag higher up over his shoulder.

Iris pouted. “That’s all you’re going to say?” She spun around in front of them, and Barry’s eyes went wide. Joe glared at his daughter.

“What are we supposed to say?” Joe asked, and Barry knew Iris snagging this swimsuit had just barely been a win on her end.

Iris scoffed. “That I look amazing?”

Joe opened his mouth to respond, but Barry beat him to it.

“You look amazing, Iris.”

Joe pursed his lips.

“Thank you, Barry. At least someone appreciates me in this amazing suit.” Joe shook his head in disbelief, but Iris ignored is penetrating gaze. “Now, come on, the beach waits for no one.”

She slipped her sunglasses over her eyes and strutted past them to head towards the beach just down the road. Joe turned to look at Barry, hoping for help in that corner, but he received none.

“She does look amazing in it, Joe,” Barry said.

His face fell. “Not helping, Bear.”

Barry shrugged helplessly and followed Iris, stifling a slight smile when he heard Joe sigh behind him.

When they reached the beach, the first thing Joe and Barry noticed was how full it was of people. But the first thing Iris commented on was what lay directly ahead of them.

She inhaled deeply through her nose and out through her mouth.

“The sea!”

“Actually-” Barry started to say, then stopped himself.

If Iris wanted to believe the lake was the sea, by all means, he would let her.

“Can’t you just smell it?” she declared, clearly enthralled.

Daringly, Barry reached for her hand to pull her from her trance, and immediately her eyes opened. She turned to look at him, a hint of a smile in her sparkling eyes. Barry was enraptured.

Joe, oblivious once more, moved past them.

“Yes, it’s all very nice, Iris. I’m going to try to find a spot and set up camp. You two have fun now.”

“Oh, my God, the lake!” Iris declared, giddy. “Come on, Barry, let’s go!” She squeezed his hand and dragged him with her.

It wasn’t hard to keep up, what with his legs being so long, but Iris’ enthusiasm was unmatched. It dawned on Barry seconds before their feet left the dry sand that the water was going to be cold.

“Oh no.”

Splash!

“Oh my gosh, Iris!”

He surged into the water with her iron-clad grip on his hand. His head plunged under water before he could take a breath, and seconds later he came up, coughing up water from his nose and mouth.

“Ow.” He pressed his fingers to his nose and massaged gently.

Iris came up a moment later, giggling and more smiley than he’d ever seen her.

“So, you thought that was funny, did you?” he asked, still massaging his nose.

“Aww, come on, Bear,” she said, swaying as she walked over to him, rising up beneath the water with droplets trickling down her face and neck to between her breasts.

Barry hoped she didn’t notice his gaze follow the water for a split second.

It was unlikely she had, because moments later she jumped up onto him, and he fell backward into the water. This time he remembered to take a breath. He was so focused on taking a breath in fact, that he didn’t even realize he’d grabbed her butt when she jumped onto him and used that grip to hold her to him.

The same cute butt that he’d been unable to take his eyes off of the day before.

Luckily for him, when they came up for air moments later, his hands had slid up to her waist – which wasn’t much better, considering he lifted her tankini top in the process and was now touching her wet, bare skin. He quickly let go as soon as he realized what he was doing, and had her arms not been wrapped around his neck, she’d have dropped into the water again as soon as he stood up.

Not only that, but her legs were wrapped around his waist, and she was flush up against him and innocently oblivious of what it was doing to him.

“Race you to that island?” he asked when it became obvious she wasn’t letting go of him any time soon - and for them, he had to admit, that was normal.

Iris turned and looked at the little island in the middle of the lake overgrown with trees and grass and with plenty of sand of its own.

“You’ll beat me,” she said. “Your arms and legs are longer than mine.”

He grinned. “I’ll give you a head start.”

“Barry, I don’t know…”

“1…”

“Oh, okay, okay!” She took off as fast as she could.

“2…3…” He waited until she was a good distance away, then shouted, “10!”

“Barry!”

He swam easily past her and made it to the island first.

“Not funny,” she scowled after she finally made it a few minutes later.

“Aww, come on, Iris, don’t be mad.”

She kept walking.

“Push me into the sea. I deserve it.”

She stopped, turned around and saw his toothy grin and couldn’t resist.

Before he realized what happening, she was pushing him backward and then shoving him into the lake.

“Serves you right!” she yelled and turned around, headed for the center of the island.

Barry surfaced moments after she disappeared into the trees. Despite it all, he was still smiling.

…

Hours later, Joe opened his eyes in his chair on the beach. He was beneath the big umbrella and found the book he’d told himself he was going to read a good chunk of today was still on page 1 and about to fall off of his chest.

“Damn,” he muttered, then closed it and stuck it into the beach bag.

He looked at the towels on his left – towels meant for Barry and Iris – and found them vacant. He scanned the beach for any sign of them, but they were nowhere to be found.

He told himself not to panic. He could easily have just missed them. Or they could’ve gone to the bathroom or on a hike or, or-

“Hey, Dad!”

Joe exhaled a sigh of relief. The voice was Iris’, but the sight before him wasn’t one he could have ever expected.

On a raft made of wood and softened with leaves lay Iris, and behind her was a panting Barry Allen swimming with his hand on the raft, guiding it to shore.

Joe blinked, then stood up.

“What in the worl-”

“We made it!” Iris cheered, hopping off the raft and running to her dad. “Barry and I made it from what we could find on the island!”

“What island?” Joe frowned.

“Tha- …That one.” Barry pointed behind him, following Iris and greedily gulping down the bottle of water Joe handed him on arrival. “Thank you.” He gasped for air after finishing.

“You…you two swam all the way there?” Joe asked, unsure whether to be impressed or horrified by the distance.

“It was Barry’s idea!” Iris said excitedly, which amused Barry, since she hadn’t been a fan at the start.

“Was it now?” Joe turned to look at Barry who was still breathing heavily. “Easier there… Than on the way back.��

“I bet.”

“So, what do we have for lunch?” Iris asked, digging in the bag just behind Joe. The movement relieved any possible tension that could have existed between Joe and Barry, and they refocused on the food Iris was digging up. “PB & J? And chips?”

“And soda!” Barry said proudly. “I brought that.”

“I think you should stick to water, so-” Joe tried, but Barry was already downing a mountain dew, and there was nothing that would stop him.

Joe shook his head, let himself sink into laughter and then grabbed some food and a drink of his own.

“So, what else have you two been up to – besides escaping to Treasure Island?”

Iris said something, but her mouth was so full Joe couldn’t make it out. He turned to Barry for a translation.

“Just swimming,” Barry supplied, and Joe nodded.

“Ah,” he said.

“Did you get very far in your book, Dad?” Iris asked after swallowing.

“Uh…not too far. I was mostly, um…mostly sleeping.”

“Oh, Dad,” Iris despaired. “You said you’d read it.”

“And I will, honey. I will.”

“Mhmm,” she murmured disbelievingly.

“I’ve read five,” Barry said, grinning with jam on his teeth and on the corner of his lips.

“Oh, Bear.” Iris licked her thumb, then got the jam off his lips.

Barry stilled, but he was too proud of himself for beating Joe’s number of books for the summer so far – since Iris had announced to all of them that they’d be having a contest for most read books by September, and so far Joe had read one.

“How many have you read, Iris?” Barry asked.

She licked her lips. “Four.”

He grinned wider.

“But I’m halfway through my fifth, so don’t say a thing!”

He laughed. “I wasn’t going to!”

“Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?” She started poking his stomach, and by the third poke he was out from under the shade of the umbrella and dissolving into a fit of giggles because now she was tickling him.

He turned and ran, and Iris was quick to follow him.

“I’m gonna getcha!” She called after him.

“In your dreams, Iris West!” Barry laughed, running faster.

“Hey, kids! Kids!” Joe called, but it was useless. They were too immersed in their game of tag with each other that Barry was clearly winning. So, he sat back down, finished his sandwich and sank into his chair for another “short” nap.

Along the shore, Barry was starting to slow down, give Iris a shot at catching him – or at least the illusion that she might. He smirked to himself. But without looking he ran straight into a bunch of less than smooth rocks beneath the surface of the water and tumbled over them into the sand.

“Barry, what the- Ahhh!”

Iris tumbled after him, landing on top.

“Are…are you okay?” she asked, licking her lips with his face so close to hers.

“I might have some cuts on my feet.” He groaned, the back of his head pressing down into the sand. “I hope they’ll be better by Friday. I really don’t want to be incapacitated for our hike up to-”

He was silenced. Because in that moment, Iris’ concerned face looking down at him, descended to his. Her eyes closed. Her lips puckered. And she kissed Barry Allen on the lips.

But he didn’t reciprocate. He was so startled, so unprepared, his feet still throbbing and wondering how hers weren’t too, that he didn’t kiss back. He just opened his eyes, and she pulled back immediately, her eyes wide as well.

“I…I’m sorry, I-”

He watched her closely, his heart pounding in his chest, shivers spreading across his skin, and butterflies fluttering inside him, and started to sit up. Whatever happened, he did not want her to-

“Can we just pretend that didn’t happen?”

“Iris.”

“I’ll go get my dad. He can get you fixed up and maybe you take a break for a while, while my dad and I make a sandcastle.”

“Iris.”

“I’ll be back!” she said through her teeth – her brightly shining, forced cheerful smile that told Barry loud and clear she was holding back tears. But she ran off before he could stop her again, and he had to sit there, staring at his bloody knees and feet and wondering what the heck had just happened.

Had Iris West just kissed him?

...

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

#westallen #fanfiction #westallen fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #if only she knew #chapter 6 #fic commission #for patricia h

[beecherdrysdale]

Oh my godddddd I just wrote like 3 chem tests today 😒 but I did good on them so that’s an upper !

Lmaoo yesss Brigid has claimed “fuck you,little bitch” I’m more of a f-ing shit type of gal hehe.

Okkk you are official my swim instructor for me and the boys, get ready to be annoyed. Haha I can see you punching their shoulders if they called you that.I myself don’t like cutsie nicknames either. Yesss you and Dylan would dominate, I give you the win . Honestly whenever I play games I just burst out laughing and lose concentration. I kinda see you winning and then Dylan falling backwards lol. Water pics slay!

Yessss jet skiing is so fun! We could be a team, or you and dylan 😏😏 holding onto each other hehe. Ok, I like chirping people so that why I think all of our personality’s would get along ?.

Ya I still have some time before I apply, or get recruited soooo . But those seem like great choices !!

Ooo me too! I have the same sorta skin complexion like she does and I always get told that I look like her when I put my hair up lol. Haha no worries, I would laugh as well. I know it’s wrong of me but I laugh when people have small accidents like tripping, getting hit.

I would be laughing along side with you ! It’s to funny. I barely scream, so I would swear lol!. Like imagine going down and everyone just yelling “fuckkkkkk” hehe. I could not tell you why I didn’t show up lol . And yes I am making you and Dylan sit next to each other because it would be hot and really cute! #matchmaking. I’ll be busy holding onto Jamie or Jack hehe.

Haha pls send some over lol. I’m lacking !! Haha the hoodie is comfy I’m not gonna lie. I’ll send you a hockey hoodie as well. Do u wanna a hockey canada hoodie or a team themed one?.

I’m not really a dress or skirt girl either! I enjoy a good jean or pant type of look. I love your style ! I enjoy a fancy shirt! Or a cute graphic tee. I’ve been into cropped ish blouses, and wearing lots of necklaces 😍 haha yess if I see a cute skirt I’ll cave as well.

Yess the partners are great ! I would honestly dance w everybody ! But I think me and Ryan would have the craziest dances lol . I’m a bit of a crazy dancer hehe. I reserve a slow dance for u with either dyl or Jamie??. Haha yes, i gotta get quinner a bit drunk to teach him stuff lol . Haha that’s fun!.

I barely drink as well but I kinda got drunk on my bday lol . Apparently I laugh a lot, and am super crazy And loud 😜. Not gonna lie beer is really gross after the one sip that I had hehe. I’ve tried a white claw before it wasn’t bad:)) . One time my brother pranked me and gave me coke to drink and I was super thirsty so I drank it and after I drank it he was like that was a vodka-coke . Had some fun times there hehe. He also pranked my mom with that and she never drinks lol.

How can ppl hate chipotle it’s amazing! If I could trade any fast food we have in Canada for chipotle I would . We literally have no good fast food lol .

oh gosh i’m so sorry, i fucking hate chem. my teacher doesn’t even teach and then gives us ap level worksheets and it sucks

hahha yes i’ll be your swim instructor, i’ll only get annoyed if people ask me to teach them fly tho bc it’s so hard to teach. and yes i would definitely punch them in the shoulder if they try to call me any cutsie nicknames. yes me and dylan as a team will destroy, but then as soon as we win he’d try and dunk me lol

ok if i’m jet skiing with dylan, who are you going with? also yes we would literally all be chirping each other the whole time, but i think we could all take it too so that’s why we’d get along really well

yeah i still have time too, but my recruiting coach told me i need to start the recruiting process early so that’s why i already have a lot of schools picked out. and as much as i would love to go to umich i don’t think i’ll end up there bc their swim team is insanely fast so i probably couldn’t swim there

hahha yeah i don’t really think i look like her, i think it’s just the long hair that looks similar. and i always laugh when people get injured and it’s kind of a problem lol

lol yes everyone would be swearing and all the parents would be glaring at us lol. except i usually don’t swear or scream on any rides or anything, so my friends are convinced i’m not scared of anything. also kind of off-topic, but for my summer job we have to do inspections before the park opens in the mornings and the tallest tower is 12 stories high, so one of the hosts who worked there last summer told me if i did top rappel on the first day she would give me $100 and i was like ok easy money. also yes you can be the matchmaker for me and dylan, but then i’ll make you sit by quinner or jamie hehe

haha just tell me which one of my 20 hoodies you want and i’ll send it to you. and then you can send me a team themed hockey hoodie bc as much as i love the canada boys, i could never bring myself to wear a hockey canada hoodie lol

yessss pants girls unite. and cropped blouses are super cute too! i also love how wearing lots of necklaces look, but i just never wear jewelry except my chain with my saint brigid’s cross bc i always have to take it off for sports

lol i would love to see you and ryan dance together, you guys would be so chaotic but so good. aww you playing matchmaker again to get me to dance with dyl or jamie 🥰 also i feel like you’re right, once quinner is drunk it would be way easier to teach him stuff lol

hahha i’ve never gotten drunk, maybe a little tipsy tho. but i have to be super careful bc if my parents pick me up from somewhere and they smell any alcohol on me they would kill me. but i’m getting my license this year, so then i can just sleep over at my friends house after and then drive home the next morning and i won’t have that problem anymore. i actually like beer, what i can’t stand is wine lol. and yeah white claw is pretty good as long as you have the right flavors. my favorite is black cherry. omg that’s so funny that your brother did that, my mom would get so mad at my brother if he ever tried that lol

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

[ducktracy]

156. i only have eyes for you (1937)

release date: march 6th, 1937

series: merrie melodies

director: tex avery

starring: joe twerp (iceman), elvia allman (old maid, katie canary)

tex’s merrie melody input would grow stronger and stronger. by the end of the year, he’d be directing merrie melodies exclusively all the way until 1941. his next cartoon, a looney tune, would change the face of looney tunes for generations to come—porky’s duck hunt introduces us to the enigma that is daffy duck. but for now, the local ice delivery man attempts to win over katie canary by crooning. however, his methods for achieving such golden pipes are seldom legitimate.

right away, the story launches into a catchy little jive in minor key, exposing the plot. the ice delivery man, a bird with an overbite doing an eddie cantor eye roll as he rolls along in his jalopy, is on his way to deliver ice to his least favorite house. an old hag is absolutely smitten with him, to the point of sexual harassment as she flaunts the ever scandalous YOO HOO! sign in her window. the lyrics are highly amusing: “she orders 50 pounds of ice 10 times a week, he hates delivering ice to her!” the old maid’s line of attack is to lure the iceman in with her baked delicacies (”how our hero hates the stuff the old maid makes!”)

elsewhere, we stumble upon katie canary, who has our hero “nutty as a loon” (foreshadowing to porky’s duck hunt?) while iceman is out begrudgingly delivering unforeseen amounts of ice to a creep, his true love is obsessed with the crooners, perched in front of the radio, her house adorned with photos of crooners like bing crosby, eddie cantor, al jolson, and rudy vallee. why cantor and jolson are considered crooners beats me, but it’s certainly funny nonetheless.

it wasn’t long after this cartoon that joe dougherty was fired from the studio on account of his stutter being too out of control. in fact, the next porky cartoon, porky’s romance, would be his last. the directors made their frustration working with dougherty known, so much so that tex avery decided to lampoon it in this cartoon here. as iceman prepares to drop off his delivery to the old maid, he stumbles on his words and switches them up (joe twerp providing the vocals instead of joe dougherty): “ gy mosh—er, uh—my gosh. this old maid pure is a shest... er, boy, she sure is a pest.” i feel bad for dougherty, as he was talented in my eyes, but i can sympathize with tex’s frustration. dougherty’s stutter caused a lot of retakes, which, in turn, cost a lot of money. it’s easy to be fed up. while this isn’t the most friendly of characters in terms of background, i admit that it amuses me a lot, knowing the backstory.

sure enough, the old maid IS a pest. iceman creeps into the house, shifty-eyed as he gingerly drops a block of ice in the icebox. the coast is eerily clear, and for good reason. great setup on tex’s part: she’s baking pies, putting up creepy signs, she makes her presence known. so why isn’t she breathing down iceman’s neck? the tension is very strong and very believable. with that, iceman tiptoes out, his speed gaining as he grows more and more relieved... until the door slams shut as the old maid pins him inside, waiting behind the door the entire time. 

right away, the old maid attempts to corner the iceman, shoving food in his face she had been storing behind her back. the iceman struggles to refuse, stumbling “oh, tho nanks. er, na thonks. er, not me!” the gag picks up in momentum as poor, meek iceman almost breaks out into a backwards run, the old maid pulling out donuts and watermelons and turkeys behind her back with the utmost of ease and nonchalance. 

terrified, the iceman pins himself against a wall, which turns out to be a murphy bed. the bed flops onto the ground, concealing the iceman, while the old maid sighs in perverted satisfaction. “at last, a MAN!”

i can only wonder if bob clampett animated this next scene, seeing as it would be reused in the daffy doc. while a hysterical surgeon-to-be daffy crawls in and around a bed with a handsaw, pursuing a terrified porky, the old maid dives under the bed and crawls on top of it, pursuing the iceman in a VERY similar fashon. nevertheless, iceman outsmarts the old maid, jumping out of the bed and allowing the murphy bed to spring back into the wall, old maid inside it and all. a famous, amusing tex avery-ism as iceman hops into his truck and screeches away. suddenly, he reverses, giving an exhausted “whew!” to the audience before speeding out of sight once more.

finally, a more pleasant delivery as iceman arrives to the abode of his crush, katie canary. but this is a different delivery—our hero comes bearing flowers. he bumbles his way inside, katie still perched in front of her own love, the radio, fiddling with the dial. “fere’s some howers—er—how’s some fleers—“ while iceman stumbles his way through, katie rudely hushes him as she finds her desired radio station. the warm warbles of bing crosby’s “let it be me” fill the air, and katie listens, enraptured, while iceman leans against the radio in a huff. borrowed from another tex entry, i love to singa, bing interrupts his singing. “don’t lean on the radio, son, you bother me.”

when the song ends, iceman perks up, offering his flowers to katie. however, katie still refuses. this is the first of MANY, MANY, MANY katharine hepburn impressions, primarily in tex avery cartoons. tex just LOVED kat’s voice, finding it as the perfect lampoon. katie speaks in the hepburn inflection, shooing him away. “please go away. cahn’t you see i’m saving my haaht and my lahv for radio croonahs? someday, somewhere, sometime i shall marry one, and i know we should be all so tehhribly happy, rahlly i do.” poor iceman wilts, along with his flowers, a telltale sign of Lost Romance. iceman sulks out the door, nearly dragging along across the floor.

in his jalopy, iceman hilariously struggles to sing a rendition of “let it be me”, eventually giving up and growling “aw, let it go, let it go...” carl stalling’s musical accompaniment is excellent, the chorus repeating like a broken record as the iceman tries his damnest to get the words right. this start/stop approach of music would accompany porky plenty of times when he himself tries to sing (like when he struggles to sing “singin’ in the bathtub” in polar pals.) 

suddenly, iceman perks up as he stumbles across a sign: 

PROF. MOCKINGBIRD

VENTRILOQUIST

AND

IMITATOR

but of course! an impressionist! tex fills up some time by including closeups of signs, such as the aforementioned one and the sign outside of the prof’s door that advertises PROF. MOCKINGBIRD -- PRIVATE. prof. mockingbird greets him with a “hullo, strenza!” (a yiddishism reused from i love to singa) and iceman tries to get to the point. after struggling, he cuts to the chase. “look, do something!”

mockingbird more than obliges. because this is a tex avery cartoon, not only does the bird perfectly imitate ducks, dogs, roosters, even car horns, he contorts his body to accompany his display of talent, even twisting and bending himself around as he imitates an airplane. iceman is certainly impressed. “that’s swell. er, that’s crell, but can ya swoon? er, can ya swim? i mean, can you croon?” a few lines of the title song (the actual song, not the exposition!) confirms iceman’s suspicions. floored, iceman yanks mockingbird out of the office and stows him away in the back of his ice truck.

back to iceman’s pursuit as katie canary elegantly swipes her hand through her “hair” (bob clampett animation), peering out the window, when warm warbles catch her ear. delighted, she rushes to the window, spotting none other than iceman singing “i only have ice for you” from his truck. a lovely layout and angle. and, as expected, we see mockingbird inside the truck, supplying the vocals instead of iceman, both pantomiming one another. the scene is humorous as it is with the fake vocals, but iceman pantomiming the unseen mockingbird is even better.

katharine katie has been won over. “i knew he’d come, my lover, my sweet one!” she provides a mini soliloquy as she theatrically poses on her staircase, dreaming of how “sadly happy” she will be. “oh, at lahst, to be held in the arms of a crooner, it will make me so sadly happy... rahlly, it will.” tex would have a field day with katharine hepburn soliloquies, as he displays in his epic hamateur night. katie eagerly hops in iceman’s jalopy, and together they ride.

inside, however, is a bleaker scene: mockingbird is positively freezing. another fun tex(t) gag as iceman shiftily rings a buzzer on the side of the truck. inside, a sign blazes SWING IT! the poor mockingbird gives a nasally, shuddering, poor rendition of the eponymous song, trying not to freeze to death. katie grows slightly suspicious as sounds of an oncoming sneeze loom, but shrugs it off as the vocals revert to semi-normal. 

“boy, it’s bloody cold in here!” interjects the mockingbird. katie grows increasingly curious and suspicious as iceman recognizes his folly. the vocals grow worse and worse (yet funnier for the audience.) hilarious animation by who i presume to be is bob clampett, with katie’s suspicious grimaces and winks, iceman batting his eyelashes and shrinking into himself, it has clampett written all over it (and those expressions would be reused in similar nature to some of his cartoons. porky’s badtime story and baby bottleneck come to mind for the grimaces and the eyelash batting.)

finally, mockingbird gives a behemoth of a sneeze, blowing iceman’s cover as the entire back half of the truck is ripped off, a freezing iceman quivering on a block of ice. katie stares down iceman as he wrings his hat, his tail between his legs.

and so-- (signaled with a highly amusing offscreen ed wynn warbling “SO--” ), we find katie canary pouring boiling hot water in a wash tub, where the recovering mockingbird is soaking his feet in an attempt to warm up. two movers come in and haul away katie’s fated radio, replacing it with a refrigerator. katie and the mockingbird happily embrace.

AND OUR HERO—he sits in the old maid’s kitchen, feeding him all the delicacies he could dream of. he devours a pie, and while he prepares to dig in for another, he finds himself holding the old maid instead, prepping for a kiss. iceman recoils, pausing to put on sunglasses and hesitantly accepting the kiss. he addresses the audience, stumbling on his words, until he gets to the point—“well anyhow, she can cook!” iris out on the unlikely couple as they kiss once more.

this is an intriguing cartoon that i grew to appreciate the more i watched. the opening number was catchy as can be, and implementing the title song as a rendition sung questionably and sickly is certainly an interesting choice. it’s obvious tex wanted to do more than just advertise a song—it’s almost as if he was like “i’ll give you your damn song, alright.” while tex is hardly sentimental or endearing, this is definitely an endearing cartoon. you can easily sympathize with the iceman and his search for love. you can feel the apprehension as he treks through the dangerous territory that is the old maid’s kitchen, you can feel his heartache when katie canary dismisses him away in favor of her crooners, you can feel his red hot embarrassment as his fake crooner plans turn awry. he has much more personality than he lets on... or perhaps he just resonates more than usual. the whole stuttering thing was highly amusing, too. you can tell tex really wanted to go the roy atwell approach with dougherty, mixing up sentences and words and cutting to the chase, but couldn’t because of dougherty’s stutter. joe twerp does an excellent job and is one step closer to tex’s dreams being realized. tex’s next cartoon, porky’s duck hunt, his dream would be fully realized as mel blanc takes the stage as porky for the first time.

in all, this is a good short! i enjoyed it quite a lot. it has a lot of personality to it, and it’s certainly a different approach to the merrie melodies as we’ve been seeing. give it a go!

link!

#lt #i only have eyes for you #reviews #looney tunes #long post #avery

[procrastinatingnerd]

Lions are Cool (A Logicality One Shot)

Logan and Patton go on a special anniversary date to the zoo, cuteness ensues.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None (though please feel free to suggest any that I might not have thought of!)

Patton loved celebrations. Any excuse to have a party and spend time with his favourite people in the world. He was the friend who bought extravagant birthday presents and hosted the biggest Christmas parties every year. If one of his friends achieved something, he was the one who suggested they all go out for dinner and organised the entire thing. 

His favourite celebration, however, was his anniversary with Logan. The two had only been together for 3 years, but he looked forward to it more than anything. Every year, they would re-create their first date by spending the day at the zoo. They were both members and visited countless times a year, but going on their anniversary always felt special. 

It was a sunny day in April, and Patton bounced through the main gates, grinning widely.

“I can’t believe we’re finally here! It’s been so long, I wonder if they’ve changed anything!” He squealed, dragging Logan by the hand.

“Patton we were here last week.” Logan laughed, squeezing Patton’s hand. He rolled his eyes at Patton’s excitement, but he too was bouncing on his toes. This year, their anniversary happened to be on the day of the zoo’s weekly penguin parade. The penguins would form a line and follow their keepers out of their habitat, along a set path, and then back through the gates. The march would only last a couple of minutes, but a large crowd would always gather to join the fun. Penguins were Logan’s favourite animal, and he had been talking about going to see the parade all week. 

Making their way through the enclosures, Patton and Logan stared at the various animals with their mouths wide, as if they were seeing them for the very first time. Patton had Logan pose in front of all of them, refusing to put down his camera for even a second.

“Patton I’m pretty sure this is the exact same panda we took a photo with last time, is it really necessary?” Logan said with an awkward smile, as a group of tourists walked by, some laughing at the way Patton waved his arms while getting Logan to look at the camera. 

“Of course it’s necessary, he didn’t have that leaf in his hand last time!” Patton said, gesturing to the panda as if it was obvious. “Besides, if I don’t take any pictures then I don’t have anything to put in the scrapbook for this year’s date. And I refuse to let my future self believe we didn’t do anything special today.”

Logan laughed, gave a shrug and began doing silly poses and pulling funny faces, joining in with Patton’s fun. As embarrassed as he was, he was determined to make this year’s page be the best one in the whole scrapbook. After a few more minutes of ridiculous photos with a tired-looking panda, Patton finally put his camera down.

“Okay! Onto the best part! To the lions!” He said in a dramatic voice and began marching off. “We’ve got to hurry if we want to see them before their midday nap!”

By the time he and Logan had made their way over to the lion enclosure, however, the lions were fast asleep. But even this couldn’t spoil Patton’s fun.

“Lions are so cool!” He said quietly. He stared in awe at them, camera dangling around his neck. After a minute or so, one of the lions stood up and stretched, and Patton, remembering he should be taking photos of this wonderful moment, got as close as the protective barrier would allow. 

"Woah, easy there," Logan said with a smile. He took Patton by the shoulders and gently guided him slightly backwards, so not to make the keepers mad. It wouldn't be the first time. 

"Oh come on, you let me get closer the first time we came here," Patton said with a fake pout. 

"Yeah because I didn't realise how close you would get!" Logan laughed.

"It's not my fault they keep them so far away! A zoom lens can only do so much." Patton replied indignantly.

"What do you mean, you got a perfect shot!" 

"Yeah, because I got so close! Do you see my point?" 

"Haha, yeah okay, I concede." Logan put his hands up in mock surrender. Despite his protests, Patton took the rest of his photos well behind the barrier, and once the lions had fallen back asleep, he joined Logan in sitting on a bench opposite the enclosure. The two sat in silence, enjoying the view until after a while, Logan spoke up again.

“Remind me why you love lions so much?” He asked, turning his head to face Patton.

“Well, why do you like penguins so much?” Patton countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Because their sense of family is so strong. They all seem to truly love each other, it’s quite admirable, really.” Logan’s eyes lit up as he spoke. 

“Exactly, they’re cute, that’s why I love lions.” Patton smiled, “To me, they’re just big house cats! Also, I watched The Lion King a lot when I was younger, so that helps.” The two laughed, and just as the lions in the enclosure were waking up again, the zoo’s tannoy came to life.

“Attention patrons, our weekly penguin parade will begin in just 30 minutes, thank you!” A voice boomed over the speakers. Logan immediately stood up.

“Quick Pat, we’ve got to get going!” He said, pulling Patton up and dragging him in the direction of the penguin enclosure.

“Woah, calm down Lo-Lo, the announcement said we’ve still got half an hour!” Patton said, jogging to keep up with Logan’s pace.

“Yeah, but we said we were going to get lunch first, and we have to get there early if we want to get the best spot!” Logan replied, marching forward. 

No less than 10 minutes later, Patton and Logan had found food and had made their way over the penguin enclosure. To Logan’s surprise and relief, other tourists had only just started making their way over, which meant he and Patton were able to claim a bench for themselves, right by where the penguins would be walking.

“This is going to be so great! We haven’t seen the parade in ages!” Patton said in between bites of his sandwich, camera at the ready. Logan nodded in agreement, tearing through his food as quickly as possible. 

“Be careful Lo-Lo, if you eat too fast you’ll choke!” Patton said in his best teacher voice. 

“I just don’t want to be eating when the penguins come out, otherwise I can’t film it!” Logan said, his mouth still full.

“Well don’t talk while you’re eating, you’ll make it worse!” Patton laughed.

By the time the parade started, the two of them were practically bouncing on the bench in excitement. They set up their phones ready and joined the other visitors in filming the event. 

“They’re so cool!” Logan whispered, staring in awe at the line of penguins.” Patton smiled and reached for his bag. The penguins were getting closer, and he wanted to get some close-ups with his camera.

When the penguins reached Patton and Logan, one of them noticed a piece of Patton's sandwich he had dropped on the ground during lunch. He made his way over, and before anyone could stop him, began to pick up and eat the sandwich. 

“Oh my gosh! He’s beautiful!” Patton whispered, slowly aiming his camera towards him.

People laughed and took photos, but when Patton looked up he noticed that Logan was almost frozen. The penguin had stopped right next to his feet, and he couldn't help but stare in awe at the little guy. 

As quickly as he had run over, one of the penguin's keepers walked over and guided him back towards the others. The parade ended without any other interruptions, but Logan remained still, the look of awe still on his face. 

After a moment of silence, Patton turned to him and said, "And you didn't want me to get the tuna." The pair looked at each other and laughed. They sat there on the bench, Patton showing Logan the pictures he had taken of the rogue penguin when another announcement was played over the tannoy.

“Good afternoon everyone, a quick reminder to all of you that our aquarium will be undergoing renovations, which means that it will be closed for three months starting tomorrow.” A new voice came over the speakers this time. Patton gasped and immediately stood up, mimicking Logan’s actions from before.

“We have to go! This is our last chance to see inky!” Inky was Logan and Patton’s favourite fish in the aquarium. He was an octopus who would always swim right up to the glass to say hello to the tourists, and while they couldn’t see it, both Patton and Logan were convinced he smiled at them every time he saw them.

“Okay, hang on!” Logan rushed to gather up his things, and the two made their way over to the zoo’s aquarium. 

Upon entering, they made a beeline straight for the octopus display, where inky was happily swimming by the glass. There was a small group of people watching him, kids pointing and laughing as he swam by them. Logan turned to Patton and said,

“Do you want to walk around for a bit and wait for inky to be less busy?” Patton nodded, and the two wandered off.

They walked in silence for a bit, Patton watching the fish, and Logan watching how the aquarium lights lit up Patton's face. He wasn't sure if it was just his imagination, but at that moment, under those lights, Patton had never looked more beautiful. As he thought about all the memories they had shared under that roof, Logan had a thought. 

"I just realised, things like the penguin happen every year." 

"What do you mean?" Patton said with a confused look on his face.

"You getting too close to the lions, the penguin, plus there was that angry bird last year." 

"Haha, yeah you're right! Only ever on our anniversary." Patton laughed, not taking his eyes off the fish. "Maybe it's the universe's way of saying it wants to keep us together." 

Logan stopped walking. "... That might be the cheesiest thing you've ever said." 

"Yep! And I challenge you to beat it."

After a moment's silence, Logan said softly, "Will this do it?" 

Patton turned around, and found Logan down on one knee...

#logicality #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders

[lovelylunarwriting]

Hufflepuff!Mark x Gryffindor!Reader

Mark likes and does lots of things. He likes hanging out with his friends, listening to good music, getting good grades.

But if there is anything Mark Lee does not like, it is heights.

He just. Cannot handle being up that high. 

It scares the hell out of him.

So when Jeno asks him “Hey, you should try out for the Hufflepuff quidditch team this year so you can be on the team with me!”, Mark’s like “oh gosh I barely passed the flying class and you want me to?? Go do it for funsies?”

And Mark will do anything to make his friends happy- it’s just the whole flying thing has him terrified.

While voicing his concerns to Lucas, for once in his life Lucas has a good idea.

“Why don’t you ask Y/N to train you? They’re the best flyer in this whole castle”, he says offhandedly, but Mark’s like “yes!! that’s a great idea!!”

Lucas: “Really? They’re right over at the Gryffindor table, you should go ask them”

Mark: “Oh gosh, I know they’d be helpful but I don’t know if I can talk to them… they’re so…”

Lucas: “So what?”

Mark: “Above me, I guess? I mean they’re them and I’m just- Mark”

Lucas: “Well, ‘Just Mark’, you know how parents sometimes throw their kiddos into pools to teach them to swim?”

Mark: “Yeah?? What about that”

Lucas: “Grab your floaties cause we’re going swimming!”

On a side note- Mark may have been super charming and romantically whisked you away in his daydreams, he’s never actually said any words to you other that “sure”, when you asked if you could borrow his quill during Charms class last year.

Poor boy has been hopelessly crushing on you for quite some time, but hasn’t done anything about it because, Y/N?? The coolest Gryffindor and Hogwart’s swiftest flyer??? Being associated with bumbling Hufflepuff Mark Lee?

No way. At least that’s what Mark thinks- that you’re way out of his league.

But in reality, you’re pretty much in the same exact boat. 

what is with all these water references

You’ve thought Mark is cute for almost a year but haven’t said a word of it to barely anyone, because you just know that rumor will get around faster than your top speed.

The only person who knows is your best friend, Johnny.

Although he teases you for it, Johnny really does respect your feelings and is one of the few people at Hogwarts that can actually keep a secret.

You and Johnny are goofing off in the Grand Hall, eating your dinner and having a good time, when you see Lucas dragging some poor Hufflepuff kid by the collar over to the you both.

You look the other way, hoping that if you ignore Lucas, he’ll pester someone else with whatever he’s up to this time.

“Hey, let go!”, the Hufflepuff shouts, and you don’t even have to glance over to know that it’s Mark Lee.

Now that has your attention.

The two boys stop rather abruptly right in front of you, Lucas with the slyest smirk, and Mark whose eyes are so wide open, you’d think he’d accidentally walked through Peeves.

You: “Hey, Lucas! Hi… Mark”

And with those words, Mark’s whole stance changes. He stands up straight, shoulders back, instead of his previous cowering-prey position.

He’s happy because “oh my gosh they know my name!!”

Lucas: “My boy Mark here needs some flying lessons and little bit of courage. Thought you’d be the one to ask”

You: “Oh, I’d love to!”, you answer a little too quickly to be cool.

Mark: “You would… really?”

You: “Yeah, of course! When would you like to start?”

Lucas: “He would like to start literally right now”

Mark: “I mean if you’re busy then we could do another time, I would unders-”

You: “Right now’s great, actually. I’ve already gone to all my classes for the day”

That just leaves you and Mark, staring at each other, each of your minds racing a mile a minute.

As well as an impatient Johnny, who just wants you to go tell maRK yoU liKE hiM alreADY.

Johnny: “Should you guys like, go then?”

Lucas: “Yeah, get out there already!”, he agrees, dragging you out of your seat and giving you a good enough push towards Mark for you to need to keep your balance by grabbing onto the boy.

Which of course makes both of you a blushy mess due to the sudden proximity.

You laugh it off and tell Johnny you’ll be going, and he just wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively.

The walk out to the Castle Grounds is painfully awkward, to say the least. You’re both so hyper aware of the other person that neither of you break the silence- for fear of saying something dumb and making the situation even more awkward.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you make it down to the stadium where each house’s quidditch team stores their brooms.

Grabbing yours off the rack on the wall, you turn to Mark because he isn’t on a team so?? Where’s his broom.

Before you can even say anything, Mark must’ve been thinking the same thing because he stumbles out an explanation.

Mark: “I- uh, I didn’t expect you to say yes so my broom is still in my room but I can just borrow Jeno’s because I know he won’t mind and… yeah”

You: “You really thought I wouldn’t help you?”

Mark: “I didn’t mean to say you’re not generous enough to because of course you are, it’s um it’s just that you’re… you?”

You: “Of course, I’m me, who else would I be?”

At this point he gets that you’re quite literally missing the mark here, so he gives up trying to explain and grabs Jeno’s broom. he knows it’s Jeno’s because of the flower stickers Jaemin stuck onto  it

Leaving the storage room, you both make your way onto the field of plush grass.

The stadium has always felt like a home away from home, like somewhere you were born to be.

Mark looks like he feels about the opposite, through yours eyes. Really though, he’s just terribly nervous about ya know.

Plunging to his death.

You: “Alrighty, let’s get started! Place your broom on the ground and call it up”

Mark: “Call it up?”

You: “Of course, don’t you remember from your first year? Don’t worry, it’s not challenging. You just have to say, “Up!””

When you say the magic words, your broom- which you had also placed on the ground- shoots up straight into your hand, hitting your palm with a distinct whack. That sound you could listen to a thousand times and never get tired of it.

Mark: “okay… up?”, he says timidly, and to no one's surprise the broom does not budge.

You: “C’mon, you've got to have a little more vigor than that”

Mark: “Fine then. UP!”

The broom jolts off the ground at an alarming speed and hits Mark straight in the forehead, knocking him backwards onto the grass.

You: “Oh my gosh, are you okay?!”, you ask, trying really hard not to laugh.

He just covers his face with his hands, making no attempt to get up and mutters a “I'm fine, it's fine- everything’s fine”

Now that you know he's okay, you can't help but break into a fit of giggles.

Mark: “It’s really not that funny”, he half-heartedly claims, sitting up and laughing along with you.

You: “Oh but it so is”

After deciding that it’s probably nothing serious, but that Mark should really get that bump on his forehead checked out, the two of you stroll back on up to the castle, the atmosphere being a lot more light and feeling a lot more at ease with one another than the way down earlier.

You walk him to the infirmary and then go on to make your way to the Gryffindor common room to head in for the night.

Swinging open the giant wooden door as dramatically as you can, you flop onto the couch Lucas is on, disregarding the fact that he’s even there and sprawling across his legs.

Lucas: “There are three other couches?? And four arm chairs??? Why did you have to pick the one sofa that is in use”

You: “Because this one’s my favorite and you know that! It’s the cushiest of them all. If you’re so bothered, then move”

Lucas: “I was here before you!”

You: “Yeah but I’ve been out all night with Mark and I’m tired! So if anyone’s getting up, it’s you”

Lucas: “Ooo how was Mark? Did he fly well?”

You: “We didn’t even get to flying due to an… accident of sorts”

Lucas: “Accident? Oh no, did he accidentally blurt out his feelings for you? I told him not to-”

You: “I’M SORRY HIS WHAT”

Lucas: “...so he didn’t say anything about that?”, he asks, looking like a deer in headlights.

You: “No!!”

Lucas: “Okay then neither-did-I- g o o d n i g h t”, he says and stands up abruptly, flipping you off the couch in the process.

You: “Ow… does he really- Hey!”

Before you can finish, he’s already run up the stairs and hidden in his room.

For a Gryffindor, he sure’s acting like a big cowardly baby.

It’s not your fault that he spilled that secret! He should come out and deal with it, but he’s locked himself in his room.

He can’t hide forever though, which is exactly why the next morning at breakfast, you make a point to sit directly next to Lucas, Johnny flanking him on the other side.

Johnny: “Atone for your sins, Lucas”, he says in a clearly joking tone, but Lucas takes him seriously.

Lucas: “I’m sorry ! I know I shouldn’t have said that but I really shouldn’t say anything else either so Y/N, just go talk to Mark!”

You: “How could I-”

Mark, who of course happens to walk into the grand hall that very moment hears Lucas mention his name, and joins the conversation.

Mark: “Talk to me about what?”

Lucas: “Look Mark, I’m so sorry but I told them that you’ve been in love with them for like years”

You: “Years?! You didn’t mention that part!”

Lucas: “...”

Mark: “...”

You: “...”

Johnny: “This is getting awkward so I’m gonna dip out. Let me know how it goes!”, he announces, clapping you on the back and going to sit on the other side of the room at the Slytherin table with Sicheng and Doyoung.

Mark just stares at you for a moment, clearly mortified, and the quickly walks out of the room.

Scrambling out of your seat, you chase after him into the hall and grab him by the wrist.

He doesn’t turn around, but he does stop in place.

Mark: “I’m not surprised that you caught me really- you are the fastest out of the whole school. But if you don’t mind, I’d really like to go sulk somewhere without you there to see”

You: “Are you an idiot?”

Your sudden outburst peeks his curiosity, and he slowly turns around to face you, but still making an effort to look anywhere but at you.

Mark: “I didn’t think you were the type to kick someone when they’re down”, he mumbles, determined to stare at the his shoelaces until the conversation ends.

You: “Mark, I like you. A lot”

With that, his head snaps up and he looks at your with the cutest confused-puppy-dog look on his face.

Mark: “I’m sorry, you what?”

You: “I like you, but it’s not like you gave me a chance to tell you that”

Mark: “...I’m not dreaming this, am I?”

You: “Not a chance”

Mark: “...”

You: “Mark, do you wanna date me?”

Mark: “Hell yes”, he answers with no hesitation whatsoever.

You: “Then, c’mon. We’re having a skip day- let’s go to Hogsmeade”

Mark: “Skip?? Classes?”

You: “I mean if you’re that dead set on going-”

Mark: “No, no, no, I’d much rather spend the whole day with you- I’m just not used to the idea”

You: “How are you friends with Yuta and yet you’ve never skipped a class”

Mark: “Like I’d let him drag me into that. I’ll let you drag me into skipping though~”

And so that’s exactly what you do- blow off your classes and walk around Hogsmeade hand in hand, stealing glances at one another and breaking into fits of laughter when one of you catches the other staring.

Half way through your date, you ask the question that’s been on your mind, but you didn’t feel before that it was the right time to ask.

It’s now or never, you figure.

You: “Hey Mark, why exactly are you so dead set on wanting to fly?”

Mark: “I… well. I know I’d have fun with my friends on the quidditch team, and they really want me to join for whatever reason. The thing is I’m terrified of heights, and in particular- falling from them”

You: “So you’re doing this for your friends?”

Mark: “Essentially, yes”

You: “What would make you happier- flying up really high with your friends in one of the most dangerous games in Hogwarts history, or cheering them on from the stands?”

Mark: “Cheering, obviously”

You: “If that’s so obvious, then why don’t you just do that instead?”

Mark: “I know but Jeno wants me to-”

You: “Jeno is your friend! He wants you to be happy! Not to be scared for your life every time you’re up on a broom with him”

Mark: “...I guess you’re right”

You: “Oh you know I’m right”

Mark: “A handful of hours into our relationship and you’re already bragging?? I see how it is”

You: “Come on, you knew what you were getting into”

Mark: “I definitely knew what I'd be getting into, and I'm super glad that I did”

Squeezing his hand in a silent reply, you look the other way to try and hide your giddiness and embarrassment.

Dates with Mark include but are not limited to: Walks around Hogsmeade, cheering obnoxiously loud for Hufflepuff at quidditch games (when Gryffindor isn't playing, of course) and lazy couch dates where you literally just cuddle and play phone games.

Cue a morally conflicted Mark when Hufflepuff and Gryffindor end up playing one another in quidditch.

He’s like “Should I cheer for Jeno?? One of my good friends?? Or my significant other who will most definitely mention it if I cheer for the opposite team”

Mark ends up sitting with all the professors (neutral territory) while wearing so much red and yellow that you’d think he’s endorsing McDonald’s.

Which is a good solution, because then neither person ends up unsupported.

Gryffindor still creams Hufflepuff, though. sorry my puffs bbys

But hey the Hufflepuffs aren’t mad, they just wanted to play for the fun of it and they know Gryffindor goes hard

Johnny and Lucas… won’t let you fucking live

They take every opportunity they can get to make some jab about you and Mark.

It’s all in good fun, though! They never say anything genuinely hurtful, just dumb stuff like “ooo shouldn’t you be with you boyfriend Mark right now??”

Stupid boys trying to roast you are the least of your worries, because being the fastest flyer in Hogwarts and dating the sweetest bean in Hogwarts seems like a pretty good situation to me.

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct 2018 #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct u x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct mark #mark lee #nct mark lee #nct minhyung #lee minhyung #minhyung #nct scenarios #nct au #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 au #nct u scenarios #nct u au #nct imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream au #nct imagine #nct writing #nct 2018 scenarios #nct 2018 imagine #nct 2018 au

[tagsecretsanta]

From @mrseviltedi

to @amuuedits

i think you all get the idea by now.... not my work but I’ve got permission to post!

Virgil held up the expanse of white fabric at arms length and raised a questioning eyebrow at his older brother."Don't blame me. Lady P chose the Greco-Roman theme for Gordons birthday.""It's a TOGA PARTY.""No it's a historically themed..." started Scott."It's a bad idea." Virgil interrupted.Scott looked thoughtful for a brief second, "Yeah... probably."Alan exited the bathroom tugging his hem."It's alright for you guys. YOU get the full coverage. I've got this... minidress thing."It's could have been worse." laughed Virgil, "Lady Penelope could have given you a cherub outfit, which would have been butt naked with wings."Alan's cheeks coloured at the thought."We should hurry up and get changed." Scott pointed out, wiping a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye.

***** "The wind is a bit fresh." snickered Virgil on the short path from the guest house to the main mansion. Alan huffed, the hem of his outfit fisted tight at his thighs. "How do women deal with skirts and things?"The birthday boy bounded out at them in an even shorter shift than Alan's, carrying a toy bow and arrow. "Cupid at your service gentlemen, just let me know which lady or gent catches your eye and I'll send my arrow straight to them." grinned Gordon."How about don't bother because that is more likely to scare them off due to the lunatic in the family." responded Virgil.The blonde faked a wounded heart, "Touche, brother dearest." Drew his bow and aimed high and let loose. The arrow landed squarely on Virgils forehead and stuck. The shock sent him backwards into a flowerbed of roses. Gordon flashed a brief look of shock. "The wind took it" he squeeled and ran away giggling.Scott stuck out a hand to help extract Virgil from the thorny trap. "Good job British roses are sturdy things. Your butt doesnt seemed to have damaged many." Grinning as he popped the arrows sucker off Virgil's skin. "I'm more concerned about them damaging my butt. I am going to kill him." Virgil promised as he removed an evil looking thorn from his rear.Alan was looking the way Gordon had left with his head cocked to one side. "Remember what you said about 'butt naked' ... well ... he is."Virgil finished brushing himself down. "As I said. Bad Idea." **** Alan scanned the room. His brothers had all advised him to steer clear of the socialites. Apparently they could be quite hands on. Thankfully most of them seemed to be doing that girl thing of glancing and giggling. His oldest brothers seemed to have their interest, having obviously been warned that the birthday boy was also not available. He seized the first opportunity he could to sneak away to complete his personal mission.The mansion was a maze of corridors, but eventually he found the right one and slipped the card under door. Giving Kayo a Valentines here was much easier than on the island. There it would have obviously been one of only 6 of them. Well 7 he supposed cos Grandma still sent him one. Lost in his thoughts he turned a corner and bumped face first into a black mass. Jumping back on alert he was relieved to see Parker, before embarrassment hit and he knew he needed an excuse to be here. 

"I needed the loo and took a wrong turn." he rushed out.

"That's h'alright Master Alan, " said Parker, suspiciously hiding a bin bag behind his back. 

"Turn left h'at the end of this 'all and down the stairs."

Alan returned to the party wondering what the older man was up to... but lost the thought as he saw John had actually made it down. **** Unusually for mid-February the night sky was clear. Having steeled away from the party Penelope and Gordon could still hear the drunken tones of Scott and Virgil singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling." on the karaoke

"They're actually quite good." laughed Penny as she sat on the edge of the fountain. 

"You don't have to listen to the shower renditions." answered Gordon as he jumped on the fountain wall.

"Gordon you really should come and sit down before you... "*SPLASH*" ... fall in." sighed Penelope. 

"Only my diginity hurt." he giggled, and stood up out of the icy cold water.

"Let's get you back inside before you catch your death of co-OH MY GOSH GORDON!" Penny raised her eyes to the sky. Gordon stopped mid stand, "What?"

"Well you know the fashion faux pas of wearing a white swimsuit and then going into water?"

"Remind me?" queried the dripping wet Gordon.

"Well they go..." Penny coughed and squeaked, "... see through"

Gordon looked down as he realised what she meant. Maybe commando had not been the best idea afterall. 

"Can I just state how cold this water is." he joked.

"You can't go back inside like that." she flustered. 

"Just past that hedge is the herb garden. Go to the potting shed and I'll find something to... cover your dignity... however much of it is still intact."

She scurried off towards the house, relieved to find Parker outside the staff entrance.

"M'lady! H'I'm surprised to meet you out here!" dropping the crinkled bag in the bin.

"Parker, excellent to see you. I need ... something... Gordon has been... inconvenienced and needs something to cover his... person."

Parker smiled inwardly. The once headstrong young girl had grown into a wonderfully calm and dignified young woman, but that one Tracy lad certainly broke through her control.

"I 'ave these at 'and." he pulled a roll of bags out of his pocket. 

"Not ideal but will 'ide m'h'ost evils Ma'am!"She accepted them with a slight flicker of disdain. 

"They will suffice. Leave the staff door unlatched please, Parker, I shall secure it myself shortly." Penelope turned on her heel and scurried off again.

"Yes, M'lady." Parker nodded and scooted away quickly himself. 

*****A/N there will be a NSFW addition to be added in here as soon as I can, but in the interests of keeping the fic PG for general viewing I shall personally post this later. Thank you.*****

"I'm not taking him home."

"Oh come on Virgil, you have to see the funny side." Scott snorted into his coffee.

"He filled my bed with rose petals. Bad enough that I thorns stuck in my ass, he just HAD to go that one step further. I'm dropping him in the Atlantic and he can swim the rest of the way himself."

"What have I done now?" protested Gordon as he pulled out a seat and sat down.

"Now boys, play nice. Just because there are several sore heads this morning." Kayo zipped her holdall, revelling in the scrunched faces of the elder three brothers. Perhaps a touch too much partying last night. She winked at Alan. She'd made sure he'd spied the card sitting on top of her clothes and, from the corner of her eye had caught the slight smile as he'd done so. It was really sweet of him, and for all he'd tried to hide his handwriting, he had a very distinctive lower swirl on the 'G' of 'Guess who?' that he hadn't quite masked.

"Mark my words I will get you back for this. The list is getting longer squidkid. And don't deny it, you were seen running up the stairs wrapped in a refuse bag." Virgil aimed at his younger copilot. 

Gordon looked questioningly at everyone. He really had no idea what he was supposed to have done now. Parker, on the other hand, was having great difficulty keeping his poker face. He'd 'fess up eventually, but for now he mentally ticked one of his own revenge on Gordon Tracy's pranks boxes... for the moment.

John stood. 

"Please thank Lady Penelope for a wonderful night, Parker, but we need to get back home."

"Gordon's in the hold." stated Virgil as they walked out of the door.

"Now, flower," joked Scott, "Don't be mean. OW!" 

Virgil's fist connected with his shoulder sending pin tingles down his arm. Gordon looked at Alan. "

Whatever it was it wasn't me."

Parker watched them go. The mansion would return to it's usual peacefulness.Well ... until the canine decided it was breakfast time.

#thunderbirds are go #tag team secret Cupid #Scott Tracy #John Tracy #Virgil Tracy #alan tracy #Gordon Tracy

[readbookywooks]

'How about “zsff”?' said Twoflower. 'Don't be silly,' said Rincewind. 'With snow runes the —' Bethan elbowed him in the stomach and pointed. The brown shape in the air was now a brilliant red. The book trembled in her hands. Rincewind grabbed her around the waist, snatched Twoflower by the collar, and jumped backwards. Bethan lost her grip on the Octavo, which tumbled towards the floor. And didn't reach it. The air around the Octavo glowed. It rose slowly, flapping its pages like wings. Then there was a plangent, sweet twanging noise and it seemed to explode in a complicated silent flower of light which rushed outwards, faded, and was gone. But something was happening much further up in the sky . . . Down in the geological depths of Great A'Tuin's huge brain new thoughts surged along neural pathways the size of arterial roads. It was impossible for a sky turtle to change its expression, but in some indefinable way its scaly, meteor-pocked face looked quite expectant. It was staring fixedly at the eight spheres endlessly orbiting around the star, on the very beaches of space. The spheres were cracking. Huge segments of rock broke away and began the long spiral down to the star. The sky filled with glittering shards. From the wreakage of one hollow shell a very small sky turtle paddled its way into the red light. It was barely bigger than an asteroid, its shell still shiny with molten yolk. There were four small world-elephant calves on there, too. And on their backs was a discworld, tiny as yet, covered in smoke and volcanoes. Great A'Tuin waited until all eight baby turtles had freed themselves from their shells and were treading space and looking bewildered. Then, carefully, so as not to dislodge anything, the old turtle turned and with considerable relief set out on the long swim to the blessedly cool, bottomless depths of space. The young turtles followed, orbiting their parent. Twoflower stared raptly at the display overhead. He probably had the best view of anyone on the Disc. Then a terrible thought occurred to him. 'Where's the picture box?' he asked urgently. 'What?' said Rincewind, eyes fixed on the sky. 'The picture box,' said Twoflower. 'I must get a picture of this!' 'Can't you just remember it?' said Bethan, not looking at him. 'I might forget.' 'I won't ever forget,' she said. 'It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.' 'Much better than pigeons and billiard balls,' agreed Cohen. 'I'll give you that, Rincewind. How's it done?' 'I dunno,' said Rincewind. 'The star's getting smaller,' said Bethan. Rincewind was vaguely aware of Twoflower's voice arguing with the demon who lived in the box and painted the pictures. It was quite a technical argument, about field depths and whether or not the demon still had enough red paint. It should be pointed out that currently Great A'Tuin was very pleased and contented, and feelings like that in a brain the size of several large cities are bound to radiate out. In fact most people on the Disc were currently in a state of mind normally achievable only by a lifetime of dedicated meditation or about thirty seconds of illegal herbage. That's old Twoflower, Rincewind thought. It's not that he doesn't appreciate beauty, he just appreciates it in his own way. I mean, if a poet sees a daffodil he stares at it and writes a long poem about it, but Twoflower wanders off to find a book on botany. And treads on it. It's right what Cohen said. He just looks at things, but nothing he looks at is ever the same again. Including me, I suspect. The Disc's own sun rose. The star was already dwindling, and it wasn't quite so much competition. Good reliable Disc light poured across the enraptured landscape, like a sea of gold. Or, as the more reliable observers generally held, like golden syrup. That is a nice dramatic ending, but life doesn't work like that and there were other things that had to happen. There was the Octavo, for example. As the sunlight hit it the book snapped shut and started to fall back to the tower. And many of the observers realised that dropping towards them was the single most magical thing on the Discworld. The feeling of bliss and brotherhood evaporated along with the morning dew. Rincewind and Twoflower were elbowed aside as the crowd surged forward, struggling and trying to climb up one another, hands outstretched. The Octavo dropped into the centre of the shouting mass. There was a snap. A decisive snap, the sort of snap made by a lid that doesn't intend to be opening in a hurry. Rincewind peered between someone's legs at Twoflower. 'Do you know what I think's going to happen?' he said, grinning. 'What?' 'I think that when you open the Luggage there's just going to be your laundry in there, that's what I think.' 'Oh dear.' 'I think the Octavo knows how to look after itself. Best place for it, really.' 'I suppose so. You know, sometimes I get the feeling that the Luggage knows exactly what it's doing.' 'I know what you mean.' They crawled to the edge of the milling crowd, stood up, dusted themselves off and headed for the steps. No-one paid them any attention. 'What are they doing now?' said Twoflower, trying to see over the heads of the throng. 'It looks as though they're trying to lever it open,' said Rincewind. There was a snap and a scream. 'I think the Luggage rather enjoys the attention,' said Twoflower, as they began their cautious descent. 'Yes, it probably does it good to get out and meet people,' said Rincewind, 'and now I think it'd do me good to go and order a couple of drinks.' 'Good idea,' said Twoflower. 'I'll have a couple of drinks too.' It was nearly noon when Twoflower awoke. He couldn't remember why he was in a hayloft, or why he was wearing someone else's coat, but he did wake up with one idea right in the forefront of his mind. He decided it was vitally important to tell Rincewind about it. He fell out of the hay and landed on the Luggage. 'Oh, you're here, are you?' he said. 'I hope you're ashamed of yourself.' The Luggage looked bewildered. 'Anyway, I want to comb my hair. Open up,' said Twoflower. The Luggage obligingly flipped its lid. Twoflower rooted around among the bags and boxes inside until he found a comb and mirror and repaired some of the damage of the night. Then he looked hard at the Luggage. 'I suppose you wouldn't like to tell me what you've done with the Octavo?' The Luggage's expression could only be described as wooden. 'All right. Come on, then.' Twoflower stepped out into the sunlight, which was slightly too bright for his current tastes, and wandered aimlessly along the street. Everything seemed fresh and new, even the smells, but there didn't seem to be many people up yet. It had been a long night. He found Rincewind at the foot of the Tower of Art, upervising a team of workmen who had rigged up a gantry of sorts on the roof and were lowering the stone wizards to the ground. He seemed to be assisted by a monkey, but Twoflower was in no mood to be surprised at anything. 'Will they be able to be turned back?' he said. Rincewind looked around. 'What? Oh, it's you. No, probably not. I'm afraid they dropped poor old Wert, anyway. Five hundred feet onto cobbles.' 'Will you be able to do anything about that?' 'Make a nice rockery.' Rincewind turned and waved at the workmen. 'You're very cheerful,' said Twoflower, a shade reproachfully. 'Didn't you go to bed?' 'Funny thing, I couldn't sleep,' said Rincewind. 'I came out for a breath of fresh air, and no-one seemed to have any idea what to do, so I just sort of got people together,' he indicated the librarian, who tried to hold his hand, 'and started organising things. Nice day, isn't it? Air like wine.' 'Rincewind, I've decided that —' 'You know, I think I might re-enroll,' said Rincewind cheerfully. 'I think I could really make a go of things this time. I can really see myself getting to grips with magic and graduating really well. They do say if it's summa cum laude, then the living is easy – .' 'Good, because —' There's plenty of room at the top, too, now all the big boys will be doing doorstop duty, and —' 'I'm going home.' '— a sharp lad with a bit of experience of the world could – what?' 'Oook?' 'I said I'm going home,' repeated Twoflower, making polite little attempts to shake off the librarian, who was trying to pick lice off him. 'What home?' said Rincewind, astonished. 'Home home. My home. Where I live,' Twoflower explained sheepishly. 'Back across the sea. You know. Where I came from. Will you please stop doing that?' 'Oh.' 'Oook?' There was a pause. Then Twoflower said, 'You see, last night it occurred to me, I thought, well, the thing is, all this travelling and seeing things is fine but there's also a lot of fun to be had from having been. You know, sticking all your pictures in a book and remembering things.' 'There is?' 'Oook?' 'Oh, yes. The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you've got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You've got to stop. You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home. I think that's what I mean.' Rincewind ran the sentence across his mind again. It didn't seem any better second time around. 'Oh,' he said again. Well, good. If that's the way you look at it. When are you going, then?' 'Today, I think. There's bound to be a ship going part of the way.' 'I expect so,' said Rincewind awkwardly. He looked at his feet. He looked at the sky. He cleared his throat. 'We've been through some times together, eh?' said Twoflower, nudging him in the ribs. 'Yeah,' said Rincewind, contorting his face into something like a grin. 'You're not upset, are you?' 'Who, me?' said Rincewind. 'Gosh, no. Hundred and one things to do.' That's all right, then. Listen, let's go and have breakfast and then we can go down to the docks.' Rincewind nodded dismally, turned to his assistant, and took a banana out of his pocket. 'You've got the hang of it now, you take over,' he muttered. 'Oook.' In fact there wasn't any ship going anywhere near the Agatean Empire, but that was an academic point because Twoflower simply counted gold pieces into the hand of the first captain with a halfway clean ship until the man suddenly saw the merits of changing his plans. Rincewind waited on the quayside until Twoflower had finished paying the man about forty times more than his ship was worth. 'That's settled, then,' said Twoflower. 'He'll drop me at the Brown Islands and I can easily get a ship from there.' 'Great,' said Rincewind. Twoflower looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he opened the Luggage and pulled out a bag of gold. 'Have you seen Cohen and Bethan?' he said. 'I think they went off to get married,' said Rincewind. 'I heard Bethan say it was now or never.' 'Well, when you see them give them this,' said Twoflower, handing him the bag. 'I know it's expensive, setting up home for the first time.' Twoflower had never fully understood the gulf in the exchange rate. The bag could quite easily set Cohen up with a small kingdom. 'I'll hand it over first chance I get,' he said, and to his own surprise realised that he meant it. 'Good. I've thought about something to give you, too.' 'Oh, there's no —' Twoflower rummaged in the Luggage and produced a large sack. He began to fill it with clothes and money and the picture box until finally the Luggage was completely empty. The last thing he put in was his souvenir musical cigarette box with the shell-encrusted lid, carefully wrapped in soft paper.

#LightFantastic

[ducktracy]

142. porky’s moving day (1936)

disclaimer: this cartoon contains racist contents, stereotypes, imagery, and concepts. i do not at all endorse this content and i find it gross and wrong. while this isn’t as extreme as other depictions, it just as well needs to be noted and talked about. thank you for understanding and bearing with me.

release date: september 12th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: joe dougherty (porky), elvia allman (homeowner)

the day has come: here since the heart of the buddy days, jack king’s marks his final cartoon at warner bros with porky’s moving day. i’ve warmed up to him and appreciate his ambition, and i’ve heard nothing but great things about his donald duck cartoons at disney, though i can’t say i’m too heartbroken to see him go. better things are on the way from here on out! for his final entry: porky is in charge of a moving company, and has to empty out a house as fast as possible as the threat of the house toppling into the ocean looms.

open to porky’s moving van (appropriately labeled as such in big black letters on the exterior), nothing more than a little wooden shack. porky and his assistant are fast asleep on their cots inside. elsewhere, pandemic: a house brilliantly built threatens to topple over the edge of a cliff, waves repeatedly throwing the house into the air. a woman darts from window to window, crying for help. the woman is none other than a clarabelle cow facsimile (which would have worked maybe 3 years prior, but the disney influence has definitely begun to fade by this point... except for king.) as her house teeters along, she struggles to keep her furniture in place, pushing it back as various items threaten to run her over as the house leans back and forth.

fretfully does clarabelle (better than calling her “The Cow” over and over and over again) ring up the operator in the telephone, begging for “bunyan” (paul bunyan??). her call is interrupted by a drastic lean of the house, and she topples over the window, the cord snapping in the process. she hangs upside down out of the window, still calling into her broken mouthpiece for bunyan. i’m sure this is a reference going way over my head, but it’s obnoxious regardless.

back at porky’s moving van, the phone rings. porky’s assistant wakes up at the sound of the ring and instantly grows punchy, boxing with an invisible foe at the sound of the ring. porky approaches, mallet in hand, and conks the guy over the head. he immediately stops and drones “okay, booooooss.” a phrase that will be repeated 7 TIMES throughout this cartoon, same voice recording and all! a few times i had talked about a review on imdb titled “Ain’t head injuries funny!?” which i found absolutely hilarious—that was a review for this cartoon.

nevertheless, the phone rings on, and porky answers with a chipper “porky the mover!” clarabelle panics on the other end, derailing about how her furniture won’t stay in place and that her house is bound to tip over anytime. “oh for sakes and gosh! we’ll be right over!” porky then tells his assistant “c’mon dopey, we got a job!” wow, that��s not at all seriously offensive: a subtly black-faced caricature of a monkey named dopey whose only line is saying “okay, boss” over and over again. i’m shocked they didn’t give him a stereotypical accent—this was definitely deliberate and not at all accidental. way to keep it classy, king! guh, that’s nasty.

porky crawls outside of his van, where we see his pet ostrich lulu resting by a tree. he wakes her up and positions for her to get into place in front of the van. climbing onto the front, porky grabs the reins—his assistant arbitrarily “okay boss”ing him for no reason at all—and orders lulu to step on it. they race through town, lulu eventually running on air as a result of the high speeds. the animation is rather nice here, and the accompanying siren sounds are a nice touch.

lulu screeches to a halt at their destination, the van swinging a full rotation and right up close to the audience for impact. porky meets clarabelle, who barks some frantic orders to him. porky and clarabelle rush inside, the door slamming on dopey. he rings the doorbell, and the sound of the bell sends him into a fit once more. don williams animates this absolutely beautiful display of animation, that, surprisingly, is NOT from a redrawn colorized version of the cartoon with a grayscale filter over it. this is the real deal! it seems like even the animators weren’t into this one. not sure what happened here, but it’s pretty damn bad. sorry don. another conk on the head, another “okay boss.”

inside, porky unloads the furniture into some outside, unknown source. no image of the furniture piled outside. a piano threatens to flatten him into a piggy pancake after another jostle from the waves outside, and porky steadies himself on the leaning wall for support. “holy smoke, we’ll never get out of here!” porky drops a mattress outside the window, and somehow manages to push the piano out, which crashes into the earth and forms a gaping hole, any trace of the mattress or piano gone. the waves tilt the house in the opposite direction, and porky crashes into a toy tricycle, sending him down the other end of the house. he barrels into dopey, urging him to “snap out of it.” you’ll never guess what dopey says in response! and, of course, dopey dismantles an entire fireplace from the wall and drags it along.

meanwhile, porky turns his attention to other areas of the house, rolling up a portion of a carpet and rolling it with his feet like a log roller. there is some pretty interesting animation as he weaves between hallways, “sucking up” portions of the rug. it certainly has potential that goes unrealized, though. and, for some reason, lulu is in the house, strutting in the way of porky’s giant log of fabric. he runs her over, wrapping her up in an uncontrollable burrito as he barrels down a staircase and crashes into a wall. the impact sends lulu unraveling back UP the staircase (porky still on the floor), eventually rolling to a halt as she twirls around like a top on her beak.

dopey, on the other hand, carries an array of tables, all stacked neatly together like matryoshka dolls. the tables begin to fall, one after the other, forming a makeshift staircase that dopey scales as he heads towards the window. the table is too big to fit through the window, and he’s sent spinning around, flying back down his staircase and sliding across the floor. instead, he turns his attention towards a shelf full of plates, carelessly dumping them into a barrel. he lifts up the barrel, and sure enough it has no bottom to it: a pile of neatly stacked plates rest on the floor. even though the sound effects make it sound like the porcelain is being reduced to shards. what fun! it would have been so much funnier if he neatly carried away a pile of broken fragments instead of neatly stacked plates.

and, for some reason, lulu swallows an alarm clock. the clock goes off, ringing incessantly. uh oh, ringing! dopey immediately discards his plates, NOW reduced to fragments as he boxes against his invisible foe once more. a spare plate conks him on the head, and he (say it with me now) responds “okay, boss.”

porky runs along with a table on his back, eagerly barreling through the doorway. the table is too big to fit through, and he’s sent into a whirl, flying backwards. as he recollects himself, he attempts to free the lodged table from the doorway, but to no avail. dopey meanders along with some sort of string device, almost like a harp? i think it may be some bed springs. the frame gets stuck in the doorway, and he walks along, still holding onto the strings, which threaten to slingshot him any moment.

and, of course, they do. he’s sent rocketing into porky, who’s still carrying the table. he, in turn, is sent flying out the window, barely holding onto half of the table which is SOMEHOW connected to the house inside... by the legs??? it’s like another slingshot. not the most comprehensible cartoon for sure. to make matters worse, a steamboat is parked outside in the choppy waters, the steam scalding porky’s butt. he’s now sent flying back inside, and just in time: water starts to gush in through the window.

porky struggles to block it out, resorting to swimming upstream as the relentless waterfall keeps on coming. it’s just as well: the climax is quickly put to an end as the water sends all of the furniture streaming conveniently into the back of porky’s van. so, this whole time, they were unloading furniture from the opposite end of the house. way to make less work for yourself! lulu pops up from inside a barrel, alarm clock still lodged in her throat. it rings once more, dopey emerging from a laundry hamper swinging. porky rises from a set of dresser drawers, giving him a good ol’ knock on the head with the mallet. i’ll bet you $5 you don’t know what the last line of the cartoon is.

jack king was starting to grow on me, but after seeing this one, i’m back to my opinion of neutrality leaning on dislike. aside from the blatant racism of dopey’s entire existence, this isn’t a funny cartoon at all, and just feels menial and boring. this feels like something straight out of a 1932 bosko cartoon. i think, ultimately, that was what king’s biggest weakness was, especially in comparison to the others: being behind the times. his cartoons would have fit perfectly during the rampant disney attitude of the harman and ising cartoons, but when tex avery and friz freleng are littering their cartoons with witty humor and gags, king’s cartoons don’t stand a chance. his buddy cartoons were probably the best in comparison to ben hardaway’s (though friz had some pretty good entries), and his beans cartoons weren’t bad, but porky wasn’t his strong suit. shanghaied shipmates was probably his strongest effort, and probably the only cartoon of king’s that i’ll be returning to (watch me eat my words.) in terms of this cartoon, it’s a no: don’t waste your time, there’s really nothing to see here. in terms of jack king: it was a good run, maybe, but now we’re onto bigger and better things. this is where things start to get good.

link!

#lt #porky’s moving day #reviews #long post #king #racism tw