my official rotb review:
okay
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
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Just a thought. When Crowley prevented Elspeth from comitting suicide, we as a fandom assumed that it was because he didn't want the girl to end up in Hell. But what if it was more than that? We have confirmation from Neil himself that Elspeth and Wee Morag were intended to be a couple. And seeing how Wee Morag saw grave robbing as a morally wrong thing, and she only agreed to do it to help Elspeth, I think it's fair to say that when she died, she ended up in Heaven. As such, if Elspeth would've comitted suicide, the two of them would have ended up in differite afterlives. And maybe Crowley knew that. And maybe the reason he persuaded Elspeth to live a good life was that so she could be reunited with Wee Morag in the afterlife. And if he did do that, what a romantic gesture.
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Steve innocently asks, "Can I woo him?" during the dnd game currently going on in the Wheeler's basement.
Eddie blinks once, twice, before all the wires in his brain reconnect, and he gives Steve an amused grin. "You want to 'woo' my character?" He hopes no one can hear how fast his heart is beating as he watches Steve push their two custom-made figurines closer together. If anyone else had touched Eddie's figurine, he would have smacked their hand away.
"I want to take him to the tavern and buy him a drink."
"To get him drunk and make him spill the whereabouts of the map?" Dustin asks. Eddie leans back in his chair and watches the two of them bicker, his hand pulls a piece of hair in front of his face to hide the flustered smile pulling at his lips.
Steve scrunches up his face and shakes his head. "No, I'm wooing him, Dustin. Are you not listening?" Steve looks up at Eddie, his eyes full of determination. "Let me woo him." He says this with a nod at Eddie's figurine.
"Stop saying woo." Mike groans into his hands.
Eddie pretends to think about it for a moment. He holds up one finger and ducks behind his dm screen to 'consult' the books. "Hmm." He hums and peaks over the screen at Steve, who anxiously chews on his bottom lip while fidgeting with a d8. "You may woo me - uh - I mean, Sir Edward."
"Can I roll to stab Sir Edward? I do not want to watch this."
Eddie shushes Mike and nods at Steve, who bounces excitedly in his chair. "Go ahead, big boy. Give it your best shot." If only Steve knew that he's already got Eddie and Sir Edward completely enamoured, no further wooing necessary.
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👗 SHADOW!!
she wears whatever the vibe for that day is and that's anywhere from early 2000s punk to generic sundress/sunhat combo
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wilson tries the entire episode (8x02) to hate house, wilson's patient talks negatively about her ex boyfriend and how he was a bad influence.
wilson gets advice from house to stop accepting the patient's wishes to die - to try harder - by doing something no normal doctor would: he calls her ex boyfriend who enables her alcoholism, who convinces her to do the painful but life extending treatment, and she gets back together with her ex boyfriend, so she's alive but back in a relationship that might ultimately be bad for her.
then wilson allows house back into his life so they can continue to be each other's enablers and bad influences, feeling alive again.... but also back in a relationship that might ultimately be bad for him 🫠
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The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.
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stuff i never finished and why
hello and good night . i'm just gonna ramble about stuff so yeah
swings
oh man i really loved this drawing . but it was a PAIN IN THE ASS .
i had a bunch of problems with this one . i spent an embarrassing amount of time doing the line . then after i started painting it on Ibis paint i realized that i should've done the line with a textured brush .
then the background . i really couldn't make it look nice even if i tried . i spent so long just trying stuff and searching for references but i just couldn't get it right . the colors and the lightning kept looking weird .
and just when it was looking decent , oh no the file is corrupted !!! and if i wanted it back i would have to go through a speedpaint of a drawing that took me 28 hours ( i actually tried it 😭😭 but it was taking so long and after some time the app crashed )
so , i decided to just give up . i was already fed up with it . maybe some day i'll try to redraw it or something
edit : oh wait a second . this drawing makes no sense without the background . edgar looks like that because there's supposed to be a puddle under scriabin's swing and he's trying to get edgar wet with it
otgw x chapter 20 / 21
i just said i loved the other one but THIS ONE . this one is SO PRETTY and i was so excited to try some new brushes and overall just finish this . excited enough to start painting edgar without even finishing scriabin's line .
i was using a small tablet my friend let me borrow . it was actually so helpful because i could draw on my phone with it !! i used to work on this when i was at school .
then i started having problems with the background . again
then my friend told me that his mom didn't agree with him giving me the tablet and that he should give it to his sister instead so i had to give it back . great . at that point i didn't feel like finishing it so
random reference i found in pinterest
this is like a month old maybe ???? i just thought " oh this would be such a fire pfp " and after finishing the sketch i was like " alright i'll finish this tomorrow " ( i never finished it )
mostly didn't finish it because i didn't have any idea to make it look lifeless and tragic . oh well . maybe i'll try it someday i still think it's cool
papa's cheeseria
this one isn't really unfinished . i just wanted to make a doodle sheet but never drew anything else so now he's just there . alone in a blank space . poor guy .
so yeah . everytime i play papa louie's games i always make the workers look like edgar and scriabin . i thought this default outfit looked pretty cool so so i had to draw it
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Any time I post content relating to baby Knives and his corruption, there's inevitably people who make a comment about how the difference between Vash and Knives is that Knives didn't get a moment with Rem like Vash did, but Knives didn't need one. He knew she loved them already. That's why he never lashed out at her.
Knives is open and honest with Rem until the end. He doesn't pretend like he isn't hurt. When she addresses how he's "forcing [himself] to carry it all alone" he's completely honest with her:
Rem: Are… you… trying to bear this all by yourself? Tesla's story must have been a shock to you. I'm sorry, but I just feel like… you're forcing yourself to carry this alone, shutting everything away inside.
Knives: Yeah. I am. It was a shock. It really was, but… we have to go on. That's what you said, right? There's so much we have to do… to make sure it never happens again.
While he doesn't straight up just say "hey I'm going to kill all humans", he is otherwise open with her that he's decided to carry the weight of protecting them from humans. Maybe if Rem was better equipped to handle a traumatized child, she would have been able to better address Knives' trauma, but the issue was never her or her love.
You can see it in the way he still cries and finds comfort in her embrace, and thanks her, and the montage of them living happily together. Knives never withdrew from Rem like Vash initially did. He was purely afraid of other humans and what they might do to his family, Rem included. All of his hate for her came after the Fall.
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
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started watching A Murder At The End of the World and i'm only like 4 minutes in rn but oh my fucking god, they already did the impossible, they made synthesizing a literal audience not only not annoying but actually intriguing and effective. holy shit.
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
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what do you MEAN the audio plugin doesn't work
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i think this scene is funny, too, bc hikaru says this like they're at a place they can split up. together they went two hours from home to have fun, hikaru almost right away doesnt have fun, and then tries to break off from yoshiki. like what would have happened here if tanaka didnt show up, would hikaru have just left yoshiki at the beach? would they have gone back sad together lol?? he really did just spur of the moment do that.
its interesting to contrast to yoshiki trying to end things with hikaru earlier
Yoshiki originally did his best to ignore the potential problem and is stunned when something bad does happen, while hikaru repeatedly wants to talk about problems (even to multiple people) and thinks about things for a while. Hikaru suddenly announces he wants to go to the beach, while yoshiki planned to spend all day letting hikaru enjoy himself. hikaru is unable to let himself have fun at the beach, while yoshiki has hikaru do multiple of his favorite activities. hikaru expresses himself a lot about what he's thinking and feeling, while yoshiki wordlessly cut to the chase. yoshiki gives up after things dont go as planned, and hikaru is insistent upon self-sacrificing despite yoshiki's disapproval.
the boys are not in sync atm, but they'll eventually get there. probably
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Hiatus ✌️
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