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snazzi-strawberri-artz · 8 months

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AAAAAAAAAAA IM FINALLY DONE WITH CHARACTER SHEETS FOR MY ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE KIDS WHICH IVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR AGES NOW😭😭😭

Although i couldnt fully finish quinn and alice because school is starting literally tomorrow for me so i had to cut down on the expressions and poses 😭 and also i want to work on something different now HAHA

BUT YEAH!! if you wanna see me ramble abt em and know more abt their lore and some additional sketches of em together, ill put em below to save your scrolling fingers!! :]

OKOK SO!! The designs on the character sheets are actually a bit of redesigns!

Like for example, Alice was supposed to have a bunny mask like the pic below, but i changed it because i couldnt think of a solid reason WHY shed have the bunny mask so unmasked it is! (although, a bit sad to lose the bunny mask because it was a cool design, but i can always use it in another oc i suppose!)

(Although i put a lil bunny design on her sneakers in her post apocalypse design, as a lil nod to this!)

OKAY SO THEIR LORE!! AHEM AHEM

Carmen : Shes the typical rich kid that comes from a prestigious rich school that few can get in, although their parents pressure them alot especially in how she presents herself and in her studies :(

She often gets forced to do things she doesnt want to do, but because of her parents high expectations and harsh judgement, they do it anyway even if theyre unhappy abt it :( [thats the reason why she looks so sad in her pre apoc. design!]

And in one of those things she doesnt want to do but does anyway because she was forced by her parents was Ballet!! And in that ballet class, they meet Darcy. She absolutely hates him in how much he trashtalks her and in every mistake they do, making her even more miserable. But even so, shes actually really good at ballet!! she just hates it HAHA <3

But ohoho!!! The apocalypse comes!! And she finds that with no society judging her every move, she finds freedom to be themselves!!! Mischievious and sly, as well as loving beating things up!! <3

Post apocalypse time! They realize that life is too short and precious to constantly worry about what you look like and to always cower under her parents gaze, so she goes #girlboss and lives her life the way she always wanted to be >:] She gets so good in fighting zombies that she becomes an instructor in self defense!! B]

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Darcy : ALSO a typical rich kid thats also very annoying and pompous in every way, loves belittling and trashtalking others for his own benefit <3

Hes also brothers with Anthony! Although they have a very strained relationship (to the point he wont talk to him) because Anthony never defended Darcy against their parents whenever they chastised him for wanting to be a ballerina because that aint a 'boys' thing and that fact he never was 'manly enough'🙄

But how does Darcy get these prestigious ballet lessons you may ask? Well he gets funded by his way cooler uncle B] in who he lives with!

Hes top in his ballet class, being the star pupil even, until Carmen arrived that changed everything. She was just as good as him, and maybe even more. And that shook him to the core. He had to be better than everyone, he just has to! Because what else was his effort and fight for?

So yeah, WOOHOO RIVALRY!!!! He made fun of her at every turn, talked shit behind her back, just anything to maker her miserable so they would stop attending classes.

Untillll the apocalypse came :]]] AHEHEHEE he was sure put in his place, as he had to begrudgingly team up with Anthony and Carmen of all people to survive. Although, they do get to bond, and becomes a better person during and after the apocalypse.

POST APOCALYPSE YAYY OKAY SO hes achieving his dream and training to be a ballet instructor!! >:D

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Anthony : Hes a super duper kind sweetheart, very much contrasting to his brother, Darcy! Hes the captain of his schools soccer team too! Combined the fact that hes very kind and also very good at soccer, no wonder many other kids get crushes on him, but he never really returns the feelings.

But at the other side of the coin, hes afraid of making other people sad or disappointed, to the point where hes non-confrontational and self-sacrificing, and wants to be useful to others.

And why does he and Darcy have a complicated, strained relationship you may ask? Well hes afraid of confronting his parents that he ends up betraying Darcys trust and hurting his feelings because hes too afraid to defend him, even if he really wanted to. He feels really guilty about it everyday, but he cant bring himself to say a word against their parents.

At the start of the apocalypse, his first thought was to find Darcy. And with the help of Carmen and Quinn, he does! And during the apoc., it was hard to try to rebuild their relationship, but through understanding and trust, they become close again as they were when they were little children :]

And uh,, youre probably wondering why he doesnt have a post apocalypse design? To simply put it, he sacrificed himself for everyone to get out safely <3

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Quinn : The typical mean delinquent girlie who always gets in trouble in school along with her squad of bullies as they like bullying other kids and messing shit up that gives their school a constant headache😌😌😊

But sometimes, in the back of her mind, she knows that what shes doing and what her other 'friends' are doing can get too far. But that gets overlapped be her squads pressure to do shitty things. She cant turn back now, can she? She has no one except for her squad of 'friends'! 😔 So better do what they ask so she doesnt disappoint em! Plus the fact her family life is just... not good!!

[One person in particular got bullied so much that they moved schools because of them, which is Alice]

When the apocalypse hit, all her 'friends' left her to die, but was saved by Carmen! Hooray!! And during the apoc., with no squad to pressure her on, she doesnt know who she is without them. But she cant help but feel like she can breathe more as well. Plus the fact that shes teaming up with Alice, and has to confront her complicated feelings of the past with that.

after the apoc., she never goes back to her previous way of life, and goes to study to become a therapist so she could help troubled youth, as she was never given the help she needed before.

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Alice : A very shy, quiet girl whod prefer to be in the corners to not be noticed by anyone. Very low confidence in her self as well as very self consious- as she was bullied in her previous school.

When the apocalypse came, she was saved by Carmen, Anthony, Darcy, and...Quinn??? One of her previous bullies from her previous school??? Gasp!! But yes During the apocalypse she slowly finds confidence in herself again, letting all out her feelings in smashing zombies heads!! >:D You go girl!!

And with Quinn, although she may never forgive her, she slowly gets along with her along the way.

After the apoc.,,,,, well honestly i have no idea ill just have to think about it more HAHA

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AAANNDDD THATS IT THANK U FOR READING IF YOU DID!! :D Heres a strawberry as a reward!!🍓🍓🍓

#Apocalypse kids!#SIGH. THIS WAS A LONG WRITE #but ATLEAST IM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS WOOOOO #i love them so much <3 bonding via zombie apocalypse HAHA #godddd expression sheets take so long to make #like ur sayin i have to make every single face look good and legible??🙄😤#also im not checking grammar mistakes i am NOT reading back so much text 😭#but yeah this was certainly a challenge #but i haaaAADDD to finish it so they can be alltogether 🥺#also do you notice the diff sitting styles do you do you 🥺🥺🥺

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lananiscorner · 2 years

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The Sandman rewatch - episode 6

So I like to do this thing where, if I didn’t consider a show a complete waste of time and if it does have an actual arc spanning the season, I watch the season twice–once as a binge watch and then once more episode by episode, because it helps me notice things I didn’t notice at first, especially in cases like this where I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with the source material.

Anyway, any and all chronological thoughts and ramblings about episode 6 of The Sandman beneath the cut, because spoilers.

Woohoo! My favorite episode of the season! ^___^

Small talk is really not the strength of the Endless, huh?

Dream: When they captured me I just had one thought: Me: Escape. Dream: Vengeance. Me: … Okay, I guess that works too.

Ah, so even immortals can have post achievement blues. Good to know.

Death: You could have called me, you know. Dream: I didn’t want to worry you. Me: ;___;

Damn, Death can be savage when she wants to be.

Ah, so the good reflexes run in the family. XD

Okay, so I gotta wonder, how many people/animals/life forms died while Death and Dream were having this chat? Can she like… astral project herself into multiple places in the universe at the same time to be there for everyone? Because otherwise that’s a whole lot of creatures that had to wait for her to get back on duty.

Franklin just casually trying to date the reaper lol. “Soon” is not a good word in this context, buddy.

Omg, I can only imagine what family dinners between these guys must be like. Imagine you piss off your brother too much and suddenly he warps reality to make you think the grapes on your plate are eyeballs or something.

Ooh, so one sibling is missing? Fascinating. Guess we’ll meet them in a later season, hopefully?

“You were both missed.” ;__;

That tiny smile on Dream’s face when Death does his side of the small talk for him. <3

I love how Harry is not the least bit upset that there’s suddenly two strangers in his house lol.

You know… we’ve already seen that the Endless can appear differently to different people (like how Nada saw Dream as a young black man), so my guess for how everyone recognizes Death when she comes to reap them is that in that moment she appears to them I whichever shape they imagine the angel of death to look like.

She let him say the shema before taking him. <3 ;_;

Also, I swear the music in this entire scene is killing me.

Eh… exactly how did Death know that it was her Burgess had been looking for? (Also, obligatory “Fuck you, Rodrick Burgess.”)

Oh man, bless Sam. He finds out he’s dead and his first thought is “please let me at least save my wife from one paper work nightmare that she doesn’t need right now”. Wonder if he could have told Dream or Death the code and they could have told his wife.

Oh so, Hettie got an exception from Death?

That banter between Dream and Death about who’s the more terrible one XD. I have to admit though “The Sunless Lands” does not exactly sound like an inviting afterlife to go to and we already know that Hell is real in that universe, so um… yeah, Death, dying is more terrifying than going to sleep—people usually wake up from the latter after a few hours.

Okay, so obviously a baby dying is never a fun thing, but honestly that’s not what got me crying my eyes out during the reaping montage. For me, it’s the damn music. Who wrote this score? Who did the--David Buckley. David, you magnificent son of a bitch, stop cutting onions right in front of my face. ;_;

Death pointing out that she’s not alone when she’s doing her job and neither is Dream, because humanity is there. ;_; And she’s right. I mean, there would be no need for dreams if nobody was dreaming.

Dream thanking Death has got to be the nicest and happiest we’ve seen him in the show so far. <3

Good to see that Dream has been in his edgy goth phase since at least 1389. THAT’s commitment XD.

Omg, faeries are real? lol

Dream putting the ale away when Death isn’t looking XDDD.

lol Hob Gadling is like… the opposite of the “guess I’ll just die” meme. I love him.

Death just casually granting a man immortality on a bet with her brother lol. Just Endless things, I guess.

Also, for some reason Hob’s actor looks incredibly familiar to me. I’ve already looked him up on IMDB, but I don’t recognize any of the other roles he did. So… there’s a mystery that will probably not be solved.

Poor Dream. He looked so fascinated when Hob told him that life was fucking brilliant and then is so disappointed when he learns it’s because of chimneys and hankies lol.

Hob saying he doesn’t think printing will catch on lol.

So we’ve got Dream to thank for Shakespeare’s plays? I’ll take it. (Fun fact: I was part of a modern day AU performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in high school—I got to play Theseus and one of Titania’s fairies).

Omg, being able to starve but unable to starve to death sounds like a true nightmare. Poor Hob. the 17th century really wasn’t kind to him. Dream actually looks like he’s about to say “sorry to hear that” when Hob mentions they tried to drown him.

“Now can we order, ‘cause I’m about to eat the fucking table.” LOL Been there, Hob. Been there.

That drawing though :’DDD.

Good on Dream for telling Hob to drop the slave trade idea.

“I look terrible. You look worse.” LOL

“I am no devil.” “And I’m not jewish.” LMAO

Dream pointing out that Hob can still get hurt or captured—am I the only one getting flashbacks to Quynh from the Old Guard? *shudders*

“I bet you ain’t got it in you anyway, you skinny chickaleary!” ROFLMAO I love Lou, she’s the best.

Omg, Dream is such a tsundere. Yes, you’re lonely, anyone with a working eye and half a brain can see that. Stop being so edgy about it.

I love how all the dialogue in the 1989 tavern scene is call backs to previous patron dialogue. Those are the kind of details that truly make an episode shine.

Poor Hob when he hears the pub is supposed to be torn down.

Omg, the new inn is actually called The New Inn XD.

Awwwww… I think we’ve seen Dream smile more in this episode than the 5 episodes before it combined.

Huh, so there are 7 of the Endless? And I guess if the order their sigils are in is correct, then Death is the second oldest and Dream the third oldest?

Wait… so Desire and one of the other siblings were pulling the strings on Dream’s imprisonment? What. The. Hell. With family like that, you don’t need enemies.

#The Sandman #episode 6 rewatch #kind of a live blog I guess #RIP Sam #he was the most heartbreaking reaped person imo #this episode is just all around great #and David Buckley deserves an award for the soundtrack #not just for this episode but for the entire show #the music is just perfect

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gingerbreadart1 · 3 years

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Really loving the latest artwork and lore! You are so creative! Can't wait to see what's next! No rush though, I know the good stuff takes time.

Oh my gosh thank you!!!!! I'm having a bit of a writer's block when it comes to the actual story, so I've been kinda messing around and doing research about different things. Idk if it's obvious yet, but I'm a huge nerd. I especially love science and sci-fi(duh) as well as biology! I actually wanted to be a doctor with some kind of focus on congenital disorders when I was a kid. Weird kid, I know. Anyway, I love thinking about lore and nerdy shit, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to do just that! Beware under the cut is a very long essay about space, civilizations, rambles, and math. Lots of math.

So, I have no idea where I want to start, but I know what I want to talk about so I'm gonna pick something and roll with it. First thing's first, the Kardashev scale.

Because this isn't an English class and I don't have to re-word shit, I'm gonna copy and paste from wikipedia for this one: "The Kardashev scale is a method of measuring a civilization's level of technological advancement based on the amount of energy it is able to use. The measure was proposed by Soviet astronomer Nikolai Kardashev in 1964." Cool? Cool.

So yeah, basically it's an easy way to say how advanced a civilization is, and it's broken up into three types.

A Type I civilization, also called a planetary civilization—can use and store all of the energy available on its planet.

A Type II civilization, also called a stellar civilization—can use and control energy at the scale of its planetary system.

A Type III civilization, also called a galactic civilization—can control energy at the scale of its entire host galaxy.

Just to give you a grasp of what that means relative to us, humans are estimated to be a type 0.73 civilization. We're expected to get to type 1 in a few hundred years or so. Here's where math comes in. Note: I hate, and am not good at math. So, take all of this with a grain of salt.

So, a Type 1 civ. is usually defined as one that can harness all the energy that falls on a planet from its parent star (for Earth–Sun system, this value is close to 1.74×10^17 watts), which is about four orders of magnitude higher than the amount presently attained on Earth, with energy consumption at ≈2×10^13 watts.

Before I go any further, I want to ramble a bit about their star

For my own personal headcanon that the Irken planet is slightly dimmer than earth, I'm gonna make the Irken star a K0 type star. For reference, the sun is a G2V star, meaning it's a yellow dwarf. A K0 star is kind of inbetween red dwarfs and yellow dwarfs. Quick explanation on the letter-number thing, (as best as I understand it, disclaimer I am not an expert) The letter is the classification of a star based on heat and luminosity, going O, B, A, F, G, K, M, L. O being the brightest and hottest (and largest typically) and L being the opposite. The number is size. A higer positive number means a smaller star. A G2 yellow dwarf is smaller than a G-3 yellow dwarf.

Make sense? God I hope so. Anyway, I picked a K0 star for a couple reasons.

They live longer. Our sun has a lifespan of about 10 billion years, but a K type star has a lifespan of 18-34 billion years. Because of this some scientists think they're a prime place to look for life because of their long stability.

They emit less ultraviolet radiation, which can damage DNA, making the developement of life less likely to be hindered by this star

They're 3-4 times more common that G type stars, so it's literally more likely that the irken sun is a K type anyway

They're dimmer and cooler (but not by much) than G type, which fits into my own personal HC about a dimmer sun.

ANYWAY now to get back into the first topic, the Kardashev scale. The irken sun has a temperature of 5,240° Kelvin (8,900° F/4970° C), a radius of .85 (367,445 m/591,345km), a mass of .78 (3.42^30lbs/1.551^30kg), and a luminosity of .40 or 1.531^26 watts.

Compare all this to our sun (Temp of 5,780°K, radius 1, mass 1, and luminosity of 1, being 3.827^26 watts), basically the Irken sun is smaller and less powerful.

Back to the Kardashev scale. Modern day earth is .73, right? I imagine that Irkens are somewhere in the high 1's, like 1.7. The reason I'm not placing them in two is because I don't headcanon that they've built a dyson sphere or a matrioshka brain.

For those who don't know, a Dyson sphere is a hypothetical megastructure that completely encompasses a star and captures a large percentage of its power output. These bad boys are imagined to look kindof like this

Cool as hell right? Also not something I think Irkens would be focused on. they're more about outward and conquering expansion rather than efficiant energy consumption and useage.

With that in mind, I'm going to say on the civilization range Kardashev scale Irkens are 2.000279. The reason for that tiny decimal amount is because a level 2 civ is one that has full control over their solar system, and a level 3 is one that has full control over their galaxy.

Galaxies are huge. Really huge. The Milky Way galaxy (In W&C Irkens are in the Milky Way as well) is on the smaller side, but it still has 100 billion stars, and 100-400 billion planets. Of those planets, an estimated 300 million to 50 billion may contain life, but most people stick it down at the low end of 300 million. So I'm going to use that number as well.

To figure out where they are on the scale, I have to figure out how large the Irken Empire actually is, so I looked at some other fictional empires.

In Star Wars, there are 1.5 million planets under the galactic empire, and an additional 60 million colonies (which can be as small as a space station or something idk)

But in Star Trek, there are only 150 planets in the federation.

In Dune, it's the whole Universe.

So there's a lot of variation here. Personally, I think under a thousand planets is a good number for a rapidly growing Empire that has unrealistic visions of grandeur, so I placed the amount of planets under their control to be 837 and called it a day.

Thus, 2.000279 on the scale.

Now with that number I'm gonna assign Irk a year. Physicist Michio Kaku suggested that it will take a few thousand years for humans to reach type two status, so I'm going to use that as a starting point to work on.

One might tack on a few thousand years to 2021 and call it a day, but I can't do that because the Gregorian calendar is religion based, and irkens probably don't have Jesus so it would be weird to base make a year for them based off of the Gregorian calendar. So instead I'm going to use the Holocene calendar. If you haven't heard of it, you're missing out! It's a very cool calendar that respresents and encompasses all of human history, and it's a very simple change: It adds 10,000 years to the current calendar, so for example, it is the year 12,021 on the holocene calendar. Cool right? The reason for this 10,000 year addition is 12,000 years ago is right around the time humans actually started settiling and building structures and beginning to farm. Thus, the birth of human civilization.

So I'm gonna be unrealistic and apply that 12,000 year first farm -> cell phone period to Irkens, and then tack on... idk let's say 2700 years. Cool beans, now we have a 15,700 year old Irken calendar. Except, 15,700 human years isn't equal to 15,700 Irken years. They're different planets, with different rotations, so they have different years. I have a previous post where I mention some basic statistics about the planet, go check it out! But for here, know that an irken year is 1.3 times longer than an earth year, so their calendar is actually going to be in the year 20,410 in the same amount of time. Let's say it's 20,417 just for funsies.

Hip hip hooray, Irk has a calendar! A year! Woohoo!

And with that, this post is long enough so I'm gonna end it here, but I plan on making a subsequent post that deals with evolution, speciation, and whatnot so stay tuned!

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eolewyn1010 · 3 years

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Rambling

I’m salty, time to dissect a random piece of media.

So, there’s a very pretty little comic that crossed my dash recently. I’m not gonna link/reblog it here because it’s quite popular and I’m not in the mood for getting hated upon because of my negative opinion, but the synopsis is as follows:

Cinderella and her prince are happy together at first, but their marriage soon cools off because the prince apparently prefers to hang out with “younger and prettier women, daughters of nobles whose hands have never done a day’s work”, and Cinderella is bored out of her mind because she spent her entire life working and thus had never the time to develop any hobbies. She enjoys cooking and sewing, which is apparently not princess-y. Also doesn’t really take to court life with balls and representation and stuff, feeling it all is becoming routine. She learns all that nobility stuff and tries to get her prince’s attention back with a couple project, but eventually, he’s off to moon over other princesses again and she stops caring. One day, she finds the old diaries of a Princess Aurora aka Sleeping Beauty, becomes intrigued, then very intrigued with this mysterious far-off lady who loves poetry, eventually finds her, wakes her up and elopes with her. Many years later, they are two lovely old ladies running a bookshop and living their sweet married lives.

Cute, amirite?

Well.

Let’s start off with the prince, shall we? Why would he be so disinterested in her? We never get a reason for that. The story says that Cinderella did “stop worrying about a man who had gotten what he wanted from her”... eh, no? She’s his wife. He married her; that relationship should be worth something. If for no other reason, then at least for representational purposes and taking the effing time to make an heir. Why should he have already gotten all he wanted out of her? And what happened to their lovestory, anyway? He was very much in love with her once. What, was she not royalty enough to entertain him? But she showed a good will to learn - and teaching her stuff and sharing things with her she didn’t know yet would have been a very good reason to spend time together. It’s also established that Cinderella reads a lot and falls in love with Aurora over a shared interest in poetry. After it has been established that the prince wrote her poems and songs, so you can’t even tell me they had no common interests, because they obviously did. But I guess if we want to get the guy out of the equation, the only way to elevate the lesbian couple as inherently superior is by making the guy a neglectful, cheating dick. Whatever.

Then, Cinderella. WHERE’S THE COMMUNICATION, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE? She tries to reconnect with the prince via spending time together, but at no point does she go, “honey, there’s something not right with our relationship, we should work on that.” At no point does she confront him or face her own insecurities about being not good enough of a partner. Maybe they could have worked it out, maybe not, but they sure could have found a better way of separating than Cinderella just running off into the night without ever telling her husband what the heck is the situation between them? Yeah, the prince is a dick, but we’re never shown Cinderella actively working on salvaging their relationship. She just stops caring - and doesn’t even communicate that. Cersei and Robert Baratheon had better communication than that; at least they could openly admit to each other that their marriage was garbage. There’s also the thing about “younger and prettier women”. Ew? In every Cinderella iteration, she’s younger than twenty, an appropriate age to be unwed in non-modern times. She’s also here about the same age as Aurora who was definitely a teen when she fell asleep, so... are you trying to tell me the prince is a pedophile? Or just that he’s shallow? Only that the first thing we’re told about Aurora when Cinderella finally sees her in person is that she’s ✨ beautiful ✨, so, double-standard much?

As for the “hands that had never seen a day’s work”... yeah, what is a lady suposed to do? Except managing THE ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSEHOLD of the royal palace, very much practicing the handicraft that women of higher stand are expected to deliver just the same (and no, I don’t mean pretty embroidery, I mean useful stuff, like repairing clothes, because clothes were expensive and you didn’t just walk to the next store and buy new ones whenever), administrative duties in the government (how does the prince have so much time to hang out with ladies? Doesn’t he have a country to run or something?), so Cinderella should have been massively out of her depth, not bored whatsoever.

And then, the relationship with Aurora. Which starts off entirely one-sided as Cinderella becomes attached to what she assumes is a dead girl who left some diaries. Which seems to count as love, apparently, considering she manages to wake her up and we have a True Love’s Kiss protocol to follow here. Thing is, I have feelings for people I’ve never met in person, online friends, not romantic feelings, but sure as hell the one or other massive squish. BUT - those developed via interaction. We exchanged questions, opinions, we discussed. I wrote something, and something came back. That’s how relationships are built. Cinderella gets nothing back from Aurora for the simple reason that Aurora is kind of fridged for the time being, so... how is that “falling in love”? And how is it better than her relationship with the prince? Woohoo, instead of marrying someone she’s spoken to three times at a few parties, she now marries someone she’s never spoken to at all! Great! Someone she really has things in common with, like poetry! You know, like the poetry her husband used to write for her when she still bothered to interact with him! The story has a time skip from “Cinderella finds Sleeping Beauty” to “many years later, happily ever after”, so we’re clearly expected to take for granted that they hit it off the second Aurora was awake. That Cinderella’s “fallen in love with diaries” was sufficient relationship-building. Also, “routine”? What, you think running a bookshop is never going to be routine? Hate to break the news to you, but love has to function in everyday life.

If you wanna have that lesbian princesses fairytale, why not write an original story instead of derailing an existing one? I guess I wouldn’t mind so much if the prince hadn’t been so trampled on as a character. He has to suck so the rest is great? Uhm, why couldn’t they talk about it and come to the mutual conclusion that they don’t work as a couple? Could make for an interesting fairytale to have people behave like adults.

Anyway. You wrote a queer lovestory, congratulations. I just don’t think it’s a very good one.

#something about a Cinderella comic #thanks for coming to my brat talk #it's not hate it's an analysis thank you very much

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mtlasana · 4 years

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I RETURN!

IMSOSORRYIHAVENTUPDATEDINAGES!

Alright, I’m back for the grand total of.... 4 days, then I have to study for my Chinese exam. 😅

So I’m going to try and hit out as many translations as I can now that I have time to think.

Personal Life Ramble~

I had the pleasure of being in hospital/emergency department twice in 1 week, one for hand burns and the second for allergies/difficulty breathing, it seems everytime I thought I had spare time to do things, some medical emergency popped up instead. (I’m all OK though! And for those worried if I’m now poor as a result, I’m in Australia so healthcare is free )

University is going well, but was super stressed about assignments. I completed my Chinese spoken exam tonight (awaiting marks now), but got back my Written Assignment marks and scored a High Distinction! Woohoo~! (Grading system explained in this post)

Japanese has been interesting, I got a High Distinction on first assignment, then a Distinction Plus on second assignment. 🤔 My words were all correct, but grammar was mixed up.

Chinese goes Subject + Verb + Object and Japanese goes Subject + Object + Verb, so it’s easy to mix up the two types....

Anyway, enough for now, off to go and translate and catch up on what I’ve missed out on in these past 2 weeks.

#Behind the Scenes #Translation progress

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ms31x129 · 5 years

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Woohoo! Time for Chapter 4! I had to make a another DJ! I felt compelled! I hope I have ideas for 3 more! @cultureisdarkbeer @monikafilefan @today-in-fic

Chapter 1 - Courage to Jump Tumblr LINK AO3 it is HERE.

Chapter 2: Luck of the Irish Tumblr LINK or AO3 it is HERE.

Chapter 3: Graffiti of the Heart Tumblr LINK or AO3 HERE.

Chapter 4: Leave Your Demons At The Door (Click on the name for AO3) or if you like Tumblr just clickity-click on the Keep Reading link below.

{Summary:

After seeing the past through Dana Scully's eyes, Jackson decides he needs a cold one. With the letter remaining in his possession, he finds a motel room to stay for the night and heads out to check out the nightlife. Of course, the past decides to hitchhike a ride. Jackson's internal conflict reaches a fever pitch when he steps into his birth parent's past at a time when they were fighting the future.}

“All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.” -James Thurber

Jackson entered the motel room and tossed his knapsack off his shoulder, its buckles scraping along the surface of the small table as it came to a halt. Not ready for any type of sleep, he flopped on top of the bed with an arm cradling his head and flipped blindly through the channels to drown out the noise of the rest of the motel.

A lonely emptiness ate at his soul like the dying feasting on its last meal. There was nothing scarier to him than the idea that he could be sentenced to a purgatory of existing like this, nothing and no one with whom to speak. No compassion, no remorse, his soul had darkened to the point of charred coal without a hope for recovery. So why not embrace it? Why choose to be alone in madness?

Guiltily, he had found pleasure in cruelty, a joy in its power as a boy growing slowly into a man. Not for the first time, impossible questions riddled his mind. What if inside he was one of them? A bomb waiting to detonate; his existence serving its purpose to end it all. He thought he’d never be pure enough to make it through the gates of heaven anyway.

Why toggle the light and dark? He wondered while rubbing the barely there stubble along his chin. What was he afraid of besides loneliness? What was there to fear when you were the monster?

The springs of the sagging mattress creaked out a warning as he rose up and headed out to clear his head. At least he could find company in the loneliness of numbers.

The streets he walked were nothing like any he had traveled before. Yet they were etched in his head with a sharp knife, a scalpel scoring information deep into his DNA like some strange work of art. As he passed storefront windows and busy restaurants, there was a familiarity there that tickled at his brain akin to recognition. The insistent feeling led him to a bar and his height and a little illusion granted him a bar stool and a beer.

“You’ve got to train for that kind of heavy lifting,” said the bartender as the used beer glasses clinked, clanked, and stuttered against the highly polished, lacquered wooden bar. After several drinks, Jackson was barely able to steady his arm enough to prevent them from crashing to the floor. “Having a bad day?”

“You could say that,” Jackson sighed, chasing down a hiccup with what was left in his glass. “You come here often?” he smarted back.

“I’m the owner of this establishment actually,” she returned as she wiped up the last of the spilled beer. “Tonight’s been busy so I’ve been helping out.”

The other bartender finished doling out the last of the drinks to the customers and joined her to help clean up. He pointed at Jackson hunched over against the bar. “You look familiar... and I never forget a face.”

He didn’t reply, afraid of it getting him tossed out, instead pointing at the bar for another round.

“So what brings you here?” The older woman asked, her short blond hair wisping over her forehead like bangs. She said it casually, but Jackson got the sinking feeling she was either testing his age or his blood alcohol level. Both of which were enough to refuse him any more service. It would only take a closer examination of his ID to uncover it was created courtesy of a man in a long trench coat in a dark alley.

The two bartenders were waiting for an answer and his depression overruled his logic. He opened his mouth intending on just feeding another lie to strangers who cared nothing for him, but carelessly started to ramble instead and the room spun without him.

“I’m part of an experiment to conceal the truth about the coming apocalypse,” he scoffed, wondering if that were even true anymore while he fingered the condensation on the beer glass. “Contagions, on a global scale to wipe out the planet except for the chosen few. I’m the atomic bomb: the savior and the sinner, and I can choose to destroy or save every man, woman, and child on this planet.”

Jackson chuckled to himself at how crazy his tale already sounded. His hands and arms were now animated as he spoke, staring at the bartenders straight in the eye.

“So of course they killed my parents. I’ve been forced to leave my girlfriends, drop out of school, I’m more of a bad joke than a friend. I’m Jackson, but they call me William…”

The man had the same look plastered on his face that most people had at hearing anything remotely “out there.” The older woman just look resigned, as if she’d heard this same shit on a different day. Maybe she had. Nothing surprised him anymore.

Noticing they both were still waiting for him to finish his spiel, he dove right back into the bullet point version of what he called his life.

“I realized I was part of the X-Men when I was just a kid,” he huffed at comparing himself to hero’s when he felt like a manifestation of evil. He leaned back with his hands gripping his knees, blowing a stream of air through puffed cheeks. “And now I chase after threads of sanity, trying to find who I really am, armed with a letter and a prayer hoping to find the courage to go to my birth mother, hoping she still wants me and has some answers. I’m shouting to the heavens or whoever is out there on the other side of my one-way sonar that the sky is falling. It’s goddamn Armageddon: earthquakes, flooding, fire, and disease.”

Jackson shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Knowing anyone else—anyone “normal” would consider this insanity, yet they were the building blocks of his life. They were what made him him . Saying them out loud as if he were confessing to his mom’s priest at their old church on Sunday mornings felt like a slap in the face.

“I’m the shitstorm of alllll time.”

“Well, that sure makes me feel better about myself,” the woman joked as she closed out his tab. “Looks like 86 is your lucky number, kid,” she told him, effectively ending his rant.

Jackson got the joke. She didn’t believe him and thought it was all some big hallucination from his consumption. Through her stimpering chastisement, she was throwing him out and refusing to serve. The depression and irritation at not being taken seriously yet again sunk from his heart into his stomach.

“You know, I’ve come to realize that one is the loneliest number,” he said, sulking with an arched brow and bathing in self-pity.

“That’s where I know this kid from,” the male bartender interrupted. “You remind me of that Spooky Mulder man. The woman passed him a curious look.

“You remember the FBI agent? Used to come in here years ago with his pretty redheaded partner.”

The female bartender smiled and nodded, a glimmer of recognition danced across her face and she added, “I hope the poor bastard realized she was crazy about him and grew a pair to finally ask her out.”

“Spooky Mulder?” Jackson questioned. That was them. Goddamnit! he thought, realization dawning. Once again following in the shadows of their history; literally it seemed.

“Yeah, I remember him bringing in his partner, what was her name?” she asked the other bartender.

“It was the same as the famous baseball announcer.” He snapped his fingers while Jackson gaped at the irony of it all. “Vin Scully—Scully was her name. Brought her in here after saving her life out in the arctic or some shit. Or she saved his life? I don’t know if they ever got that straight. Anyway, they would drink in here sometimes.”

The woman examined Jackson’s face. “Now that you mention it, he kind of looks like them.”

Jackson was afraid the jig was up. He tossed a couple fifties on the bar and stood, using the barstool to steady himself as he blinked twice to bring his doubled vision into focus.

While stumbling towards the door, a gang of bikers were making their way inside, marking out their turf like a wolf pack. They were rowdy and demanding, pushing the crowd aside as they grabbed their barstools and ordered drinks, harassing the patrons. Another younger, inexperienced bartender tried to settle them and it only appeared made them angry. One pulled him by his collared shirt to whisper something in his ear. Another one held out a knife, fingering it like he couldn’t wait to use it, while another man displayed the holster of his gun. If this was a bar frequented by the FBI, they were taking the night off.

Jackson’s heart pounded within his chest with what felt like a force hard enough to crack a rib as it yearned to beat free of its cage. His senses went on high alert and every color in the bar glowed brighter, every noise louder, smell stronger. With every movement anyone made he was prepared to react.

The song “Glitter and Gold” played through the bar’s sound system. Adrenaline and anger spiked in his veins like he had a double shot of caffeine. They were going to pay for their drinks and their disruption.

In a dopamine rush, Jackson covered his frame in illusion, a monstrous form he invented as a child. Everyone froze at the sight of Ghouli before them. The eyes of the witnesses of Jackson’s transformation bulged and he could hear their strangled cries of mortal terror. Bulbs burst from the fixtures until there was barely enough light for shadows. The darkness fed his rage. Even the stars and moon seemed to cower behind clouds through the window preparing for Jackson’s storm. Everyone, everything, was now his prey.

Through the mirror at the bar, Jackson caught a reflection of a young boy with utter terror taking over his once innocent features, and his mother with her arms wrapped around him ready to give her life for his survival. In that moment, something inside Jackson snapped, or finally broke free perhaps. He heard it like a twig cracking in his mind, a subtle deafening sound. He ran. The bikers fled fearing he was headed their way, but Jackson was running away, not towards. Running to feel the sweet pain in his lungs, lactic acid building in his muscles, reminding him that he was real, he was human.

Jackson “the monster” was no more. The old him really had died in the depths of the water on that cold night at the docks.

Now outside, the cars zoomed as they passed him, the drivers never taking notice of the monster running down the street, half human half Frankenstein as his illusion faded. People were too busy hurrying back to a welcoming home, eating their sirloin steaks and mashed potatoes with their family, making sure the children ate their vegetables. Somewhere parents beamed happily as they knelt down to tuck their kids into bed with a story in hand...

Would he ever know that comfort again?

Depression and self-loathing, like liquid death swarmed inside him, the blackness flooded and choked him begging his body to choose his future.

Heaving and gasping for breath with his avatar long gone, he slowed and finally stopped, leaning on his knees as he hunched over and concentrated on not vomiting. The sky spun and he heaved out the night’s libations. He wasn’t much of a successful drinker to begin with. Somehow he ended up on the damp ground, not certain how it happened, but he could feel the frigid water seeping into his jeans. His hands rested back into the soil as his feet dangled off the curb and into the street.

That monster was not him and it would not return.

#xf fanfic #xfiles fanfic #msr fanfic #msrfanfic #the xf fanfic #the xfiles fanfic #chimera #xf fic #txf fanfic

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rainbow-squirrels-7 · 5 years

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!!ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!! Since I did it last year with Infinity War and now that I’ve seen Endgame twice here are my ramblings:

But before we begin apparently I accidentally predicted Endgame’s title during my IW ramblings and then completely forgot about it...

-so like that friggin beginning tho poor Clint like the entire movie. Agreeing with a favorite YouTube movie reviewer of mine, this was really Clint’s shining movie despite his uh- downward turn for a bit there -but on the bright side I’m glad his older kids’ names are canon now; like legit I thought those (Cooper and Lila) were made up by the fanfictioneers. Maybe they were and the writers were like ‘huh okay less work for us- yoink’ -then Nebula and Stark playing table football that was adorable. The shiny paper reminded me of that one Chris Hemsworth gif you know the one of him making a face at his reflection? -and heck yes Carol coming in hot to save the day what a legend -woohoo go get Thanos time -and he’s just in a frickin farm in a T-shirt (a T-SHIRT?!?) collecting some fruits and starting a new YouTube cooking channel -“what’s up half of the universe today we’re making weird bumpy fruit stew” -but heck yeah Thor cut off that guy’s head -and then just like whoa five years later. I usually can’t stand time jumps but it’s alright. It really gives a perspective of ‘yeah the world isn’t better with half its population. Everyone’s so sad’ -good job of Steve starting a therapy group tho even if he doesn’t take his own advice -I can’t believe a rat saved Scott talk about lucky -unless that rat was actually Loki -just sayin -and the bike kid: “wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy” -I forget how old Cassie was in Antman and the Wasp but +5 years to that I guess. She looks a bit too old to me but what do I know. I’m very glad she didn’t disappear though cuz I love Scott very much and I don’t want him to go through that -tbh Scott saved everyone cuz he had the time travel idea in the first place. I love an optimistic boy -UHBUHH I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT CAROL’S HAIRCUT YET UM HECK YEAH -it’s very good I’m very gay -anyway -I liked Nebula’s prominence in this movie she’s growing on me but of course it doesn’t take a lot on account of me loving robots (cyborgs?) so much -getting the band back together! -baby Morgan Stark/Potts was Very Good -ohmygod Thor -so chub -I was annoyed being without beefy Thor the first time, but rewatching it though I thought his Look was maybe not only reflecting his depression (cuz yeah) but maybe mythological Thor? Like I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall but maybe in actual Norse myth Thor was (well, actually a redhead) that chub/beef combo but he did have the fluffier beard that MCU Thor had this time. Idk, like I said- spaghetti -Valkyrie’s back! Love her -they call her that though? Isn’t that what she is- like her job? Does she not have a name? Could have sworn it was Brunhilda or something -and Korg and the sharp bug guy are back too! Love them -friggin playing Fortnite -jokes aside though I do love that deep look into Thor’s guilt throughout the whole movie. Like he thought killing Thanos would just make everything better but it didn’t and just couldn’t deal and would rather drink to forget -Clint’s guilt was also interesting, like showing that ‘oh god he could really go there, he could get this bad given the circumstance’ -just Blade Runner-ing all around Tokyo -I haven’t seen Blade Runner but it has neon lights and rain right? -but yeah I do like the “the Snap took away good people and bad people but like it could have just took bad people and since it didn’t I’ll have to instead” -sad boy -he was very uh ‘Magnus rushes in’ if you will, during this movie. Not caring for a lot of it if he lived or died cuz he’d lost so much -god he was good in this movie -anyway -I also called the time travel:

-it still doesn’t completely make sense to me though? Like time travel is confusing enough but adding in a multiverse just makes it even more so -I loved the revisiting the old movies! -low key wanted an Age of Ultron revisit so we could have OMG we could have seen Pietro again -still on the #bringbackpietromaximoff train guys -but anyway we could have seen some good Wanda scenes and also my boy Vision again -but it did make more sense to get the three in NY at the same time -it was real cool to see the bald wizard lady (Minerva from TAZ Amnesty) defending the wizard building during 2012 Avengers- like that is so believable and now we can watch 2012 Avengers and be like “oh hey the wizards were there” -“that is America’s a**” I love how much Scott hero-worships Steve like we saw that in Civil War and yes it’s so funny and I love it its great -Steve vs Steve fight?? Great -“I can do this all day.” “Yeah yeah I know.” -And again, we can totally watch 2012 Avengers again and be like ‘yes meeting with Secretary Pierce and the other Shield guys- this is totally believable, it’s exactly what would have happened we just didn’t see it.’ -the elevator scene! I thought for sure Steve was gonna do the “now before we begin does anyone want to get out” but the “hail hydra” was just as good -“they’re hydra but we don’t know that yet” “they Look like bad guys!!” -and I guess Loki using the Tesseract to escape during that scene is setup for a... tv show? He’s gonna be wreaking havoc through time and space I guess?? Glad he’s back though -anyway revisiting more movies -friggin Guardians 1 -Quill singing Come and Get Your Love really badly cuz all we heard was the actual song and OhmyGOD that was hilarious -I’m glad Rhodey and Nebula got on a team cuz they can be prosthetic buddies -but did Nebula just not tell Clint and Nat that one of them would have to die for the Soul Stone? Or did they know and just not wanna talk about it till it came up? -TBH I though the ‘lose someone you love for the stone’ requirement would have been filled by both Clint and Nat already cuz Clint could have been like “um my dude do you even know how much I’ve lost already??” -apparently not though -Nat’s hair was great for the time travel parts I liked the red fade to white -though it was a sad and intense moment with Clint and Nat deciding who of them had to die it was also sweet cuz you can see how much they care for each other -and I was- well not glad but I really wanted Clint to see his family again -not that The Avengers weren’t his family -that friggin line “did she have family?” “Yeah. Us.” GOD -and then there’s that whole rigamarole with double Nebulas and oh Gamora’s back too -again time travel/the whole multiverse thing apparently doesn’t make sense to me so I’m just gonna gloss over it as much as I can until I can get more into it later -anyway the other time travel to the 1950s! -cool callback to Winter Soldier like you could see Zola going into the bunker -like So many people were there at the Camp Lehigh (idk if that’s how it’s spelled) like Everybody was there -good good moments with Tony and his dad -I thought it would have been cool for Tony to have given his dad the inspiration for his own name but oh well. Maybe that wouldn’t have even worked with time travel and all -Steve’s prank call to Hank Pym that was funny “um the box is glowing” -but oh geez the scene where Steve finds Peggy oh god when he goes in the room with her name on the door my roommate and I were watching it together the first time I saw it and both of us went “ohhhhhhh oh nooooooo” -cuz like that’s the first time he’s seen her since he went in the ice! Or at least seen her how he remembers and not old in Civil War hhhhhhhh GOD -I think seeing her there was a factor in his decision later but I’ll get to that later this is a long heck movie -oh and the OG human Jarvis showed up! I like him, I only saw season 1 of Peggy’s show but I remember liking him a lot -but yeah back to the present unless- well I’m sure I missed something -OH FRICK THOR’S BIT -I can’t Believe they went back to The Dark World -tbh I actually like The Dark World I think it’s a good movie but it’s not universally liked -callback to the scene with Loki tossing the cup in the air ahaha that one was always good -so if they had Rocket’s pokey device during that movie the whole plot of that movie could have been avoided? -anyway um Frigga?? What a queen. Literally -I loved “I was raised by witches I can see with more than my eyes” -she’s really what Thor needed there but god the “she dies today” poor boy -she’s so good though -I loved that ‘measure of a hero is being who you are not who you’re supposed to be’ Yes -and the “I’m still worthy!!!!” Thor needed a win -“eat a salad!” -Now back to the present -Stark-Tech can apparently channel Infinity Stones? And doesn’t need a special heart of a dying star and giant dwarfs to forge a special gauntlet um okay -“what do I have flowing through my veins right now?” “Cheese whiz?” -Bruce is so good though so strong I loved the “I was made for this” -so sweet when Laura called Clint! Yes! Everyone’s really back! -and double Nebula just Had to ruin everything tho -before I get into the final battle- I wonder how much of the time travel scenes were reused from old footage and how much was reshoots with the same actors/costumes/sets? -anyway -um rude blowing up the compound -and god the water scenes were so stressful the first time. Water/specifically-about-to-drown scenes always freak me out. Also trapped under ice and squished under something scenes -Clint finding the gauntlet and getting away from Thanos’ cronies! Every time anyone was running with the gauntlet all I could think of was that one goof from TAZ Balance in Petals to the Metal- Taako’s “Grab the Gauntlet and don’t look back” friggin

-also when Steve, Thor, and Tony all go to confront Thanos who is waiting for them, there’s a specific song playing in the background: https://youtu.be/H_9mnO_NOjk?t=120 (it starts at around 2:00) and you’ll hear this series of deep bell sounds? For the life of me- that specific sound sounds SO FAMILIAR and I can’t friggin place it. I can’t decide if it just reminds me of the Wind Dance song that plays in TAZ Balance whenever the Hunger shows up (which is fitting tbh)? Or if it sounds like some boss battle music that I can’t place? Maybe from Pokémon or Mystery Dungeon? I just can’t remember. It sounds real cool tho -but uh yeah UM -STEVE!! WORTHY!!!! -I mean we all be knowing but! -such a cool scene. I started clapping the first time I watched and others in the theatre joined in -not as cool as when Vision lifted the hammer but I’m biased -but things look dark at this point and I can’t remember if it’s at this part or one one next but there’s this real cool wide shot, this real nice tableau of Steve on a hill or something and this light behind him as he faces Thanos’ army and yeah it just looks real good. Like a good computer background I’d like to have or a poster -but yeah then! -“ON YOUR LEFT!” -Yay!!! Portals open and ‘oh yeah! Everyone’s back now! We have friends to help us fight!’ -gave me some good TAZ Balance episode 68 vibes. Could have called for a cool Lup-esque speech tho from Steve since he’s so good at that- “You see this? This is scary. But we can do this.” -EXCEPT -now we reach the part of my rambling where it turns into somewhat of a rant -because I’M annoyed but only for a specific reason that won’t affect the average moviegoer since Apparently not everyone’s a fan... -cuz Literally the only person who doesn’t show up -is my boy Vision -I mean Yes -I Know he was one of the people who died before Thanos snapped -but my hopes were Way Way Up that he’d come back somehow -and UHHH APPARENTLY I WILL JUST HAVE TO BE DISAPPOINTED -everyone Else came back??? Why not my boy?? -he wasn’t even mentioned despite being So Important in IW -except vaguely when Wanda pulled a real Taako in Balance episode 67 “You f**king took everything from me!!!” -she could have took out Thanos on her own for sure like he had to call in the big guns just to stop her from doing just that -strongest Avenger heck yeah -and Carol came too! -friggin Star Wars Episode 8-ing up in here shooting through Thanos’ spaceship that was So Cool -and the Girl Squad! Girl Squad! part!!!! Yes!!!!! So good!!! Protec small Peter! -somewhere, Nat smiled -Spider-Man’s instakill that was great -I loved the ‘pass the gauntlet’ part though -when Clint handed it off to T’Challa, T’Challa called his name and that was good cuz callback to Civil War when Clint said “we haven’t met yet. I’m Clint.” And T’Challa was like “I don’t care”. He does care now! Lol! -Carol just friggin Beast mode Thanos can’t even touch her he had to pluck the Power Stone from the gauntlet to even knock her back! We stan! A legend! -and oof Tony to Stephen Strange “14 million and one we win? Is this it?” “If I tell you it won’t be” -cuz oof -it really was a good ending for Tony though -he started it all way friggin back in 2008 -and the “I am Iron Man” Yes -and also I think it was in Age of Ultron that part when Tony was talking to Fury and it was like “I saw them all dead and that wasn’t even the worst of it” “the worst was that you didn’t” -so it’s very fitting and so so good -lining up with and going against Howard’s earlier “the greater good rarely outweighed my personal interest” and proving that Tony really was so heroic -so like it’s sad but it’s fitting and not like an unsatisfying end for his character -and it’s not like he won’t be friggin mentioned ever again or anything he’s friggin Iron Man he’s already in the new Spider-Man trailer -(no shade at all in the ‘not begin mentioned at all’ category...) -anyway oh wait -oh god Peter Parker tear my heart out again sad boy he’s so good at making us sad when he’s sad about Tony -yeah anyway again -loved the “proof that Tony Stark has a heart” disc from the first movie that was good -oh and so like the camera is moving through all the different groups of people on the dock and moving towards the house -(just an interlude but CAROL IN A SUIT UM YES) -there’s a shot of some random kid! And I didn’t know who it was until I was leaving the theatre and another guy heard me and my dad talking and he told us! It’s the kid from Iron Man 3! Now That was a nice throwback -but yeah then it gets into the I guess TAZ Balance Rebuilding Year-esque scenes -which were all Very good! Good family scenes; Hope and Scott and Cassie, and T’Challa and Shuri and their mom, and that scene with Wanda and Clint was very good BUT -would it have been So Hard to do just a small scene of maybe somewhere in Wakanda like Shuri helping to rebuild Vision with all that vibranium while Wanda was there watching? Maybe even from his old body?? Would that have been so hard?? Just Something to give me hope?? -why are all these movies So Against Wanda being happy??? -but yeah almost to the end -more time travel with Steve going to return the stones! I’m glad Sam and Bucky got more lines I love them both -but what I really loved was that Steve got his Magnus ending -not in a “how does Magnus die” way but a “how does Steve live” way -love me a good happy ending esp if it involves dancing like that’s All he wanted -like I said earlier, I think just seeing Peggy again was enough for Steve to be like ‘oh it doesn’t matter if I can’t live without war action (a la what Ultron said in AoU) i do really want that life with Peggy and I can do that now’ -it was just Good -but it does raise a few time travel questions -like if Our Steve went back to the 1940s (he did go to the 40s right?) does that mean that there’s another Steve still stuck in the ice? I would say there can only be one Steve at a time but that was proven wrong in the very same movie. There’s gonna be something to do with multiverse in the next Spider-Man which will of course just make everything all the more confusing but still... I guess if I don’t think about it too much it’s not such a big deal -it was also very fitting that there weren’t any after credits scenes. It reminded me of the end of TAZ Balance with the announcer (Junior) not announcing the final episode since he said in 68 that we’d have to see what happens in the last one together. Idk but I liked that -and I liked the signatures of all the OG avengers! That was like them signing off on this huge thing they did, which is really what happened! This huge friggin 12 year thing! -wait was that what the 12 meant all along?? The 12%, the 12 minuets? We may never know -but anyway back to the most important part to me -my boy Vision

-I was so naive

-like I’ve been told there’s gonna be a tv show or something but like -come on -you could have given me Something -I feel like Griffin in the Fallout 4 Monster Factory after Roachie despawned “nothing?!? You leave me nothing!?!” -so like all in all it was a good movie a Really Good movie I liked it a lot -that Time Heist- I love time travel plots. I already had some of my next DND campaign planned with time travel being a big part- I hope my players don’t think I’m stealing lol -it was very enjoyable and so so good to wrap up this huge thing and put a bow on this story arc. Which I guess can open the door for experimentation now? Which would be kinda cool -Scarlet Witch movie maybe and my dreams can come true??? I can be happy??? Please -I just- one little scene could have left me less disappointed and given me just a little hope but anyone who’s not in the ScarletVision boat will not be disappointed by this movie (cuz the deaths [Tony and Nat] are heroic and satisfying to me, so I’m not not satisfied by that) -it wasn’t Their movie but still. Let me complain -It really was really good though -And I guess I only get motivated to write fanfic like once a year (or whenever new ScarletVision content is in a movie though um the Vision part of that was uh nonexistent) so like my Complements fanfic is in the process of growing a fourth part so look out for that I guess -and if you’re still here reader, I hope you enjoyed my long long ramblings

-and in conclusion:

#marvel #endgame #endgame spoilers

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 5 years

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Lost in Translation - Ch 8

Title: Lost in Translation

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Mckirk

Rating: Lemon

Tags: minor character death, hurt, little bit of self destruction, stranded, possible smut down the line

Summary:

“Attention citizens. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your aid. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship and into open space. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.”

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Special Thanks: wanted to give a huge shout out to my girl Katie, AKA @goingknowherewastaken for being a huge inspiration for this fic as well as for being a huge help (especially when it comes to putting up with my frantic ramblings lol) you're awesome boo <3

A/N: So this is a work in progress but it’s basically finished and I’ve been making great headway with this recently, so this will be the first fic I’ve ever finished! Woohoo!! And I'm thinking that I’ll probably stick to a Sunday post schedule.

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Chapter 8

Len let go a hard sigh. It had been nearly two days since Jim had been found, two days of sitting in his room waiting for him to wake up, waiting to see those blue eyes again. He had spent the majority of it going through the logs that Spock had gave him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to listen to anymore, at least not right now. For the first time since Jim went missing Len was able to take his mind to a happier place, a place where it was him and Jim and nothing else mattered.

He ran a hand through his hair while his mind was still stuck on their time back in Georgia with Gran, and as his hand travelled into the back of his shirt it caught on something. He knew what it was, and all he could do was smile and close his eyes as the memories of their second day in Georgia flooded his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim woke to the sun on his face on their second day in Georgia. He stretched out in the bed, letting the warmth of the sun coming through the window wrap around him for a moment before pulling himself out of bed.

He grabbed a shirt from the closet and shuffled across the hall into Len's room, but he wasn’t there. The room was empty and the bed already made… no Bones.

With a pout and a furrowed brow he continued to shuffle down the stairs and towards the kitchen where he knew Gran was. He could hear the music playing and smell the food cooking, smiling when he walked in and Gran was dancing around the kitchen while she cooked.

“Good morning, Jimmy!” she sang as he took a seat at the island across from where she was standing.

“Mornin’,” he slurred as he rubbed his eyes, “where's Bones?”

Gran grabbed a plate from one of the cupboards behind her and placed it in front of Jim, who was more then happy to oblige. “I had him make a run into town for me this morning. It’s Lenny’s birthday today, though I don’t think he's even realized it yet. Poor kids always so wrapped up in worryin’ about me, he neglects himself.”

Jim laughed around a mouthful of scrambled eggs, “That’s right! The old mans twenty-nine.” “Yes he is,” she chuckled, “I had him go into town and get me some groceries that included the supplies I’d need to bake him a cake, I also sent him for some home improvement items, and a few other things that should keep him occupied for most of the day. I invited a few friends over tonight to help us celebrate. So, the list I gave him should keep him away long enough for us to get things ready for tonight, and I should still have enough time to finish the cake before guests arrive. It’ll be a nice surprise for Lenny.”

Jim gave her a devious smirk, “Gran, you are sneaky!” she threw him a wink before he continued, “He should have brought me with him, and if I had known about the plan I could have kept him out longer.”

“He was going to wake you up this morning but he said you were sound asleep and looked like you could use the rest, he didn’t want to wake you,” she smiled at Jim, seeing the little bit of disappointment he was trying to hide in his eyes, then gave his hand a pat on the counter, “But I could use your help anyways. I’ve got some decorations in the garage I wanted to dig out before he gets back, and after that you can keep him occupied with some barn chores while I get everything else ready.”

“I’d love to!” He stood and placed his dishes in the sink before thinking about the small package he had hidden upstairs in his bag, “I hope he likes the gift I got him.”

“Oh, Jimmy,” she swooned slightly, “I know for a fact that Lenny would love anything you got for him, especially because it’s coming from you. What did you get him?”

Jim gave her a smirk, “Can’t tell, you'll just have to wait and see.”

Gran gave an overdramatic gasp, “You won’t even tell your old Gran what you got him?” Jim just shook his head, giving nothing away, “You devil!” she laughed and swat him towards the back door, “Come on now, out to the garage with you!”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Gran opened the double doors to the oversized garage behind the house. Inside there were boxes upon boxes piled on top of each other, down both sides and in the centre of the garage, even up in the rafters. Jim stood in the doorway for a moment in awe before following Gran inside.

He picked up a few boxes looking inside and not finding anything remotely close to party decorations, “What exactly are we looking for here, Gran? Is there something that can help us find the decoration box a little faster?”

“I'm pretty sure I left it around this back corner over here,” she said pointing towards a very messy pile of boxes in the back, “haven’t used em’ in years, so I just hope they’re in good condition after all this time.”

Jim followed her back towards the pile she had pointed to but before he made it there, his eye caught something, and if he was right in what he thought it was, he was very excited.

He walked over and grabbed the cherry red tarp he had spotted and pulled. Jim was so excited over his findings that he nearly vibrated right out of his own skin. Before him stood the most beautiful bike he had ever laid eyes on. A deep cherry red with black edgings, double seat and road ready, he nearly fainted.

“You have a motorcycle?!” He spun around to Gran who was watching him with a fond smile.

“Yes,” she hummed as she walked closer, “this belonged to Lenny’s father. He loved this contraption, took it everywhere.”

“I had one back before I joined the academy, but nothing nearly as nice as this,” he ran his finger tips gently across the bike, entranced, “the keys are in the ignition.”

“Go ahead, Jimmy, see if it’ll start up.”

She stood back and watched as he tried a few times and it wouldn’t start, but after a little bit of tinkering from Jim, another few tries, and the bike roared to life under him. He whooped as the engine hummed and echoed through the garage, smiling wide as he revved it a few times, then turned it off and stood next to Gran.

“Well done, son!” she clapped his shoulder.

“That,” he pointed back to it, “is an awesome bike!”

“If you wanna take it out for a spin while you're here, feel free. It hasn’t been used since we lost Lenny’s father.”

“Bones never rode it?”

She laughed, “I think he was too afraid to. Wouldn’t even get on with his daddy to ride around the driveway when he was younger.”

Jim hummed with a smirk… that could be fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Around one that afternoon Gran was just putting the last of the food she was preparing for the party in the fridge when the back door opened.

She turned to see Len walking in, bags in hand, and rounding the counter to place a kiss on her cheek, “It took a while, but I got everything on your list.”

“Thanks, Lenny,” she gave his arm a squeeze, “go ahead and drop those bags on the counter and head on out to the barn. Jimmy’s out there looking like a true Georgian.”

“Oh yeah?” Len raised a brow.

“Said he wanted to help out with some chores, so I gave him some of your old working clothes and sent him out,” and now to get rid of Len so she could finish up the preparations, “he's been waiting on ya all day so you better hurry on up and get out there. And might I say, you're boy sure does look mighty fine in overalls and cowboy boots.”

She threw him a wink and a smirk, watching his face go all shades of red before he laughed and said, “I’ll bet he does,” and practically ran out the door and to the barn.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Len wandered through the halls of the barn but could not find Jim anywhere. He finally found himself by the back of the barn near the tack room when he was jumped from behind. Jim had wrapped himself around Len like a koala, clinging to his back with his arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

“Happy birthday, old man!” Jim shouted and squeezed him tighter.

Len groaned, “Oh lord, I forgot about that. But thanks, kid.”

“Well, I would never forget your special day, and here’s your first present.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything, kid-”

Before he could finish he was cut off by Jim's lips pressed into his cheek in a long kiss. He felt the heat instantly rise up his neck and hit his cheeks, and before he was ready for it to be over Jim had pulled away and was now standing in front of him, bright smile spread across his face.

“Well, if that’s what you got me, I’ll definitely accept more of those!”

Jim laughed, perhaps even blushing a little himself, “That’s not all I got you, but you'll have to wait for the good stuff.”

“You mean it gets better then that?” he smirked touching his cheek gently.

“Sure does, Bones, and present number two…” he takes Len's hand and starts pulling him through the barn, “I volunteered us for a bunch of chores today, Gran shouldn’t be doing them all herself after all.”

Len groaned at the thought of chores, especially on his birthday, but willingly followed after Jim anyways. He only needed to keep Len occupied for a few more hours before Jim could move him to the house just before the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim was quite proud of himself. He had managed to keep Len in the barn and away from the Gran for an entire four hours. Not only that but they had managed to get a tone of chores done for Gran. They mucked out all the stalls, cleaned some of the tack, tidied the indoor riding ring, and even managed to have enough time to help the barn hands with the evening feeding. Looking at the time and seeing that it was after five, Jim thought it was a good time to head for the house.

“Hey, Bones!” he called down the hall, and Len peeked his head out of one of the stalls, “Let’s head inside now. I'm sure Gran will have dinner ready soon and I am in desperate need of a shower.”

“Yeah, me too,” he agreed, and they made their way to the house together.

When they walked inside Gran was sitting at the kitchen table with a lady, who smiled at them as they walked inside.

“Boys,” Gran greeted them sipping at her tea, “Lenny, you remember Anita from down the street.” Len nodded and smiled at the lady, “Anita, this is Jim.”

“Howdy, ma’am,” Jim pretended to tip a hat, getting himself a chuckle out of Anita and an eye roll from Len.

“We’re gunna head up for showers, Gran,” Len said, taking Jim's arm, “we’ll be down for dinner soon. Nice to see you again, Anita.”

“You too, Len,” she smiled.

“I’ll be up in a sec, Bones,” Jim took his arm from him, “you go first and I’ll shower after you, just gunna grab a water.”

Len nodded and quickly padded up the stairs. When Jim heard the bathroom door close he turned to Gran, “Do you need me to do anything?! When are the people coming?! Is there enough time?!”

Gran laughed, running a hand down his arm, “Don’t worry, Jimmy, everything’s going according to plan. While you boys were out in the barn I got all the food ready and the cake, it’s all in the fridge. And Anita’s going to help me set every thing up outside, along with some of the barn hands who offered to help. Everything will be set up and finished before you boys are ready.”

“Ok,” he sighed in relief, “I’ll make sure he waits for me upstairs before coming down, and I’ll turn the porch light on before I bring him outside.”

“Sounds like a plan, Jimmy my boy! Now head on up and shower, you smell like a zoo.”

He laughed and waved to Anita before heading upstairs after Len.

~~~~~~~~~~~

After Jim was finished in the shower and dressed in some decent clothes, he met Len in his room who was waiting for him while lounging on the bed.

“Ready for dinner, Bones? I know I'm starving after all that work.”

“I'm actually pretty comfortable right here,” Len said, shuffling back into the pillows more, “I forgot how tiring barn work is.”

“No kidding,” Jim did the last button on his shirt before walking to the edge of the bed, “I don’t know how you did that everyday when you were a kid.”

“Neither do I,” he turned his head to look at Jim and held out an arm, “you can join me for a few minutes before dinner, if you want.”

Jim didn’t hesitate in taking the offer and climbed in beside him, curling into his side and laying his head on his chest.

“This vacation was the best idea ever, Bones,” Jim mumbled lazily into Len's chest.

Len sighed, “Yeah, too bad we have to back to classes and work after it.”

“It’ll be worth it in the end, when I have my own ship and you're my chief medical officer.”

“Who says I want to be stuck on the same ship as you for god knows how long?”

Jim playfully smacked his stomach and laughed when his head bounced on Len's chest with his laugh, “You wouldn’t want to be on anyone else's ship, and you can’t even try to convince me other wise.”

Len shook his head and smiled, “Got that right, kid.”

They laid there for a little while longer in a comfortable silence until Jim felt the change in Len's breathing and could tell he was falling asleep. He quickly got out of the bed, jostling Len awake, and took his hand, “Come on, I'm hungry and you need to eat before sleeping. Not to mention I don’t think Gran would appreciate it much if we slept through dinner after all the cooking she did.”

Without argument Len allowed Jim to guide him down the stairs and stopped in the doorway to the kitchen confused. The entire house was in darkness. He didn’t remember hearing Gran come up the stairs to head to her room down the hall, and surely she would have popped her head in to say good night like she always did.

“Where is she?” Len asked, clutching Jim's hand a little tighter, worry taking over.

“I'm sure she's fine, Bones,” Jim made his best attempt at feigning innocence as he brought Len over to the back door and turned on the porch light, “Maybe she's sitting outside?”

They walked outside and Len looked around not seeing Gran, “She's not out here… where the hell could she have possibly gone?”

“Maybe around the side of the house?”

Jim started dragging Len down the porch steps and this time he fought back a little, “Jim, I don’t think she would have gone all the way around there, especially not alone at night. She must be inside somewhere, or maybe we should call Anita-”

“Let’s just check, Bones,” he continued pulling Len around the house, despite him trying to hold back this time.

“Jim, honestly, she wouldn’t come all the way around-”

Len stopped in his tracks as they finally rounded the house. There were several large white tents popped up in the grass, one with tables and chairs and a buffet of food, and another with a small stage and a laid out dance floor. Both tents were connected and open, and lit up with beautifully coloured lights. A small band adorned the stage, and the tent was filled to the brim with people, neighbours and friends Len had grown up with, and at the front of the crowd was Gran with a huge smile on her face as Len stood there in awe.

A loud, “Surprise!” was shouted from the crowd and that’s what Len needed to break himself out of his trance and soak it all in. The smile on his face at the gesture was ear to ear as Gran walked over to kiss his cheek with a loud smack.

“Happy birthday, my sweet Lenny!” she kissed his cheek again before taking a step back as the band began to play behind her.

“You didn’t have to do all this for me, Gran.” He leaned in and kissed her back.

“Oh, it wasn’t just me,” she turned to Jim, “Jimmy had a hand in this too.”

He brushed her off with a wave of his hand, “Naw, I just kept you occupied while Gran organized everything.”

“Nonsense,” she gave his chest a pat, “I wouldn’t have been able to do it all in secret without you. Now, you boys go have some food and dance and have fun!”

Len took the hand he was still holding of Jim's and walked him inside. They ate together and then Len took his hand once more and walked him around, introducing Jim to his childhood friends and neighbours. Jim didn’t miss a beat in any conversation and Len watched as Jim had all of them eating out of the palm of his hands. Everyone at the party loved Jim, and how could they not. He was funny and charming, and Len didn’t know how he had made it all those years before the academy, before he met Jim Kirk, the best thing that had ever happened to him.

After Jim had been introduced to nearly everyone, Len was being led by Jim to the front row of tables by the dance floor and told to sit. Len watched as he walked over to Gran, whispered in her ear, and then made his way back to sit with Len, quickly lacing their hands together on top of the table.

Before Len could ask what they were up to, the band stopped and Gran walked up onto the stage and took the mic. “Hello everyone, and thanks for coming to my grandsons birthday celebration,” everyone clapped before she continued, “Lenny, it means the world to me to be able to have you here again for your birthday. I know you’ve been working hard on your exams at the academy, and I am very proud of you, both of you, but it is so wonderful to finally have you home. I know life’s thrown some pretty heavy curve balls at you but you’ve over come every obstacle and, well, look at you now. You’ve got a great career ahead of you, wonderful friends and family around you to celebrate your birthday, and a gorgeous young man on your arm,” the two boys smiled, and Len removed his hand from Jim's so he could wrap his arm around his shoulder and pull him closer, “you’ve made your old Gran very proud, Lenny, and Jimmy I would like to hereby officially welcome you to the family! I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you two boys! Happy birthday, Lenny.”

Cheers erupted through the tent and Gran left the stage open for anyone else who wanted to say a few words. Anita spoke next, recanting a few sweet memories of Len running around the neighbourhood scant only in a diaper, reeking havoc in the local shops, and never failing to make everyone in town smile and laugh. An old teacher of Len's went next, remembering what a wonderful student Len was, one of his favourites he had said. A few other neighbours followed, everyone having only wonderful things to say about Len, and each one of them bringing up the fact that they were happy Len had finally found happiness in Jim, that Len's “boyfriend” was a wonderful man, that Len was lucky to have him. And despite that fact that both boys were not in fact in a relationship, neither of them denied it, and honestly neither of them wanted to. Every time someone mentioned Jim in their speech it only made Len pull him closer, tucking Jim right into his side with Jim's head on his shoulder and his hand resting on Len's thigh. Until everyone had their say and it was Jim's turn to take the stage.

He hopped up on stage and took the mic from the last person to speak, turning to face the crowd, looking at Len as he leaned across the table to listen to Jim. “Hello new family!” everyone answered in kind, “it makes me very happy to see that Bones has so many amazing people to share his life with here and who love him as much as you all do, because if anyone deserves all that, it’s definitely Bones.” He smiles directly at him, and his eyes never leave Len's for the rest of his speech, “I remember the first day I met you on the shuttle in Riverside. I took one look at your drunk ass coming out of the shuttle bathroom, arguing with the attendant and yelling about infectious diseases and solar flares, and I thought, yep he's the one. And I think you’ve definitely figured this out on your own already, but the “housing snafu” that landed you in a suite with me instead of your own bachelor suite… yeah, that was totally me. I hacked the system so we could room together.” Jim winked at Len and everyone chuckled, “After that you… you seemed to turn my world upside down, Bones. In a life as crazy as mine had been up until that point, no ones ever wormed their way into my heart as quickly as you did. Almost instantly I knew I would give you my life, my trust, and I had never given anyone that privilege before you. After just a short amount of time with you, the thought of being away from you scared the hell out of me, and… I know I said that you going to Georgia for two weeks and me staying at the academy would be a breeze but I totally lied. I was so relieved when Gran invited me to come with you, because I don’t think I would have made it two minutes, let alone two weeks without you, Bones. And I don’t know what our futures hold after graduation but I hope that fate lands us together. But I mean, if it doesn’t then that’s ok, cuz I'm sure I can find a way to hack that too,” everyone laughs again and Len continues watching him with tears in his eyes, “but no matter what happens I know you'll be the amazing person you already are, and I’ll be standing right next to you the entire time, because I don’t want to be anywhere else. So, happy birthday, Bones.”

Everyone in the tent clapped and cheered for Jim's speech, and Len found himself wiping away a few stray tears, and he definitely wasn’t the only one doing so. After a moment Jim waved at Len to join him on stage and said, “Ok, old man, time to blow out the candles!” and Len stood centre stage as a huge cake was brought up by two of their barn hands who had stayed to join the party.

While the tent erupted into a choir of happy birthday, Len turned and reached out to Jim. At first Jim tried to wave him off saying it was his day, but Len wouldn’t have it and took a step towards him, and Jim finally gave in and allowed Len to pull him into his arms. Len held Jim in front of him, head resting on Jim's shoulder as his friends came to the end of the song, and with the last words he whispered into Jim’s ear, “together,” and after counting to three, the two of them blew out the candles together.

Everyone clapped and when Len let him go, Jim placed the mic in his hand and took a step back for him to speak. “Well, I must say this is a mighty fine surprise,” Len gestured to everyone gathered in front of him, “thank-you all for coming out and helping me celebrate my birthday, and thanks to Jim and Gran who put this whole thing together. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been back to Georgia, back home, but I promise that I will make more time to visit after this. I hadn’t realized how much I really missed it here and everyone in it. I won’t make the mistake of staying away that long again. But, I’ll keep this short and sweet so we can all have some of Gran’s amazing cake,” a few hoots were heard from the back and Len laughed, “I honestly can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, not just tonight but in all my years. After hearing some of those stories I realize now that when Gran said raising me took a village, she was not kidding. Now, everyone enjoy the rest of the night, eat more food, have some cake, and let’s get the band back up here so we can dance the night away!”

Len passed the mic off to someone as the band crowded the stage again, reaching for Jim's hand and walking them off stage. As their feet hit the dance floor the band started up with a slow song and without Len even having to speak a word Jim was already in front of him, waiting for Len to take the lead like he had the night before. Len pulled him in with his hand on his back, taking his other hand in his and started gently swaying them to the music, pulling Jim as close to his body as he could get him.

As they danced, Jim rested his face in the crook of Len's neck breathing in his scent as Len whispered to him, “Thank-you for this, Jim.”

“Don’t thank me, Bones, it was mostly Gran’s doing.”

Len chuckled, “I'm sure the two of you are of equal blame, but regardless, this means a lot to me and I'm really glad you're here to spend it with me.”

Jim smiled into his neck, “I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”

They continued to sway until the song was just about over when Jim lifted his head to look at Len with a smirk, “Do you think we could sneak away for a bit?”

Len looked around at their guests, then back to Jim, “I'm sure we could, everyone seems pretty occupied right now with cake and dancing. Everything ok?”

“Fine,” Jim stopped dancing and took Len's hand, “I just wanted to give you your next present.”

Len perked up at that, giving Jim a smirk of his own, “Oh? In that case, follow me.”

After quickly making sure they weren’t being watched, Len guided Jim to the back corner of the tent by the stage, and the two of them parted the material and snuck out the back. Jim then took the lead and ran with Len across the grass and to the garage by the barn. Once inside Jim flicked on the lights and turned to Len.

“Ready for your present, Bones?”

Len nodded enthusiastically and closed his eyes, leaning his face towards Jim and offering his cheek. Jim chuckled and pushed Len away, Len laughing with him.

“Not that, Bones,” Jim turned and grabbed the cherry red tarp behind him and revealed the bike he had found earlier with Gran, “we’re going for a ride!”

Len eyed the bike behind him. He remembered it, it was his fathers old bike from when he was younger. “Oh no, kid. I'm not getting on that. I wouldn’t as a kid and I sure as hell don’t want to now.”

“Come on, Bones. It’s perfectly safe.”

“The hell it is! It’s a death trap.”

Jim couldn’t help but laugh, crossing his arms and giving Len a pointed look, “We are just a few years away from spending our lives in space, and you're afraid of a motorcycle?”

Len didn’t quite know what to say to that because the kid did have a point… of course.

Jim shook his head in amusement and turned to the bike. When he turned back he had a helmet in his hand and took a step towards Len. He stepped away with his hands out but Jim persisted and got in his space.

“Remember when I said I trusted you, Bones, that I willingly gave you my life no matter what?” Len nodded, “I would never let anything happen to you, Bones.”

“I know you wouldn’t Jim.”

Jim shuffled the helmet between his hands before looking Len in the eyes, “Do you trust me?”

Len looked at the helmet and smiled, “Of course I do, Jim.”

Jim returned his smile and placed the helmet on Len's head, helping him to fasten it. A few minutes later Jim was in front with Len behind him, clutching desperately to Jim as they slowly pulled out of the garage and down the long driveway. Little did they know Gran stood watching them from the porch with a smile as Jim turned out of the driveway and disappeared down the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim didn’t take them too far, knowing that Len was already sceptical about being on the bike in the first place. So he found a softly lit hiking trail a few minutes down the road and pulled into the small lot and parked the bike. Jim helped Len with his helmet again before taking his hand and leading him down the path. It was short, coming to a cliff at the end over looking a small city below, and the light from the almost full moon shone brightly over top of them.

Len lead Jim to the edge and they sat with their legs over the side for a while in a comfortable silence before Jim turned to face Len, Len following suit.

“So,” Jim began, fiddling with the small wrapped package in his jacket pocket, “I… I do have one last gift for you.”

Len smiled, shaking his head, “Kid, really, you didn’t have to get me anything at all. Everything you’ve already done has been more then enough.”

“But everything so far has been things you'll just remember, where as this is something you can keep forever. Something you can see and touch everyday, or as long as you want it, that is.” Jim hesitates a moment before pulling the box out and handing it to Len, “I… I hope you like it.”

Len took the small package and slowly unwrapped it to reveal a small box. He popped the lid off and pulled out the item inside. A simple silver chain held a round medallion, also silver but with Starfleet's medical insignia on the front. Len brought the medallion down to rest in the palm of his hand, running his thumb gently over the insignia. It was perfect.

“Jim I… this is-”

“Turn it over.”

Len did as he said and on the back he found two lines of engravings, both numbers. He suddenly found himself speechless, not to mention nearly breathless as his hands began to shake.

Jim shuffled forwards slightly, brushing their legs together before asking, “Do you know what they mean?”

Len let out a breathy chuckle, “How could I not?” he finally met eyes with Jim and the tears he had been trying to hold in since Jim's speech at the party flowed freely now, “It’s the star date and coordinates of when we first met. Jim…”

Jim nodded and suddenly found himself shy, looking away from Len, “Do you like it? I know its not much but-”

Jim's face was suddenly lifted to face Len, “It’s everything.” Jim reached a hand out to thumb away the tears streaming down Len's face, “This is the best, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. Jim… you don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Of course I do, Bones, because those engravings mean the same thing to me as I think they do to you.” Len tilted his head in question and waited for Jim to continue, “That stardate and those coordinates were a new beginning, the start of the most amazing years of my life so far. The day I met you everything changed. I was a wash out before then, but you… you make me want to be a better person, the best man I can be. If I hadn’t met you then, Bones, I don’t know where I would be right now. You changed my life, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.”

Len didn’t even know what to say, because Jim had said it all and said it perfectly. Not to mention he was crying so hard that he didn’t think he’d be able to form coherent words even if he tried, so he did the next best thing. He removed his hand from Jim's chin, running it down Jim's neck and to the back of his head. He pulled him closer and pressed a long kiss to his cheek, then whispered a quick, “thank-you Jim,” before pulling Jim flush against him and burying his face in his neck. Jim did the same and the two of them held each other there for a long time, both occasionally peppering feather light kisses into the others skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Len rubbed his fingers over the medallion he was now holding. Since his birthday back in Georgia with Jim, he hadn’t taken it off, not for one second. He meant what he had said when he told Jim that this necklace was his everything. It held the exact time and location of his first meeting Jim, the exact moment his life turned around for the better, because Jim was his everything and always had been, right from that very first second in Riverside.

He let the necklace hang out over his shirt, moving his hand to run his fingers through Jim's hair, bringing his forehead to rest on Jim's as he whispered a promise, “Jim, when you wake up and we dock on Earth, I’m taking you back to Georgia for a two week vacation, just you and me. Maybe I’ll mandate that you need a month off duty and we’ll spend all of it in Georgia together, hell maybe we’ll just stay forever like you wanted to when we were... I should have just said yes back then, I should have just stayed with you in Georgia, then none of this would have happened. And when we do go back, when we go home Jim, I’m gunna take you back to that pond and I’m gunna love you, I’m gunna love you so hard Jim. I’m going I make sure you know how much you’ve always meant to me, how much I need you, how much I’ve always loved you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Another long one for you guys... sorry! But I hope you enjoyed it! A little more fluff to come your way in the next few chapters before it gets worse... O-o And I wanted to give a super special thanks to my girl Katie for helping me figure out the gift that Jim would be giving to Len! I wouldn’t have figured it out if it wasn’t for you XXX Let me know what y’all think and if anyone wants to be tagged in future chapters or works let me know <3

Tags: @goingknowherewastaken @weresilver-in-space @resistance-is-futile81 @0dannyphantom0 @flaminglupine @bi-e-ne @medicatemedrmccoy @haveyouseenmymind @jimboy-mccoy @reading-in-moonlight

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superiordragonlorde · 6 years

Text

13 Days of Halloween

Challenge | Day 8- Apple Cider & Cuddles / “Pfft, I’m not scared.”

Category | Writing/Story

Still cranking them out for @bnhalloween-challenge . Woohoo!

And now we’re getting some Kirideku! Yay extreme pure ship!!

No warnings (I don’t think...)

I hope you all enjoy!

Kirishima rested his head atop Midoriya’s, letting the soft curls tickle his nose. He watched the movie playing on his laptop with vague interest, enjoying the solid, warm body pressed against his and wrapped in his arms. Midoriya, on the other hand, was watching the screen with wide eyes, the blanket they had laid over them clutched in his hands, the fabric twisting in his grip.

The movie’s monster jumped out towards the screen from behind a group of trees. Midoriya jumped, a strangled noise escaping from him. Kirishima laughed, having already seen the movie at least thirty times in his life, and pulled him closer, pressing his cheek with Midoriya’s freckled one.

“Aw, no worries, babe,” he chuckled. “You don’t have to be scared. I’d protect you from any freaky pop-out monsters.” Midoriya groaned playfully, shoving Kirishima’s face away with a gentle hand.

“Pfft, I’m not scared,” he insisted, casting a mockingly offended look at the red-haired teen. “It just... surprised me, that’s all.” Kirishima grinned, nodding.

“Sure, sure,” he hummed. “Whatever you say.” He rested his chin on Midoriya’s shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against Midoriya’s face again, who huffed but still pressed his back further into Kirishima’s chest. Kirishima kissed his cheek, soaking in the tantalizing heat.

One of the characters in the movie was grabbed by a monster, long, jointed fingers wrapping around their neck, before being dragged away into the darkness of the forest. Midoriya shot forward, ripping Kirishima’s headrest away, a whimper cutting off at his throat.

“Woah, hey, Midoriya?” There was no reaction. “Are you ok? What’s going on?” He leaned forward, pausing the movie, and tried to catch a glimpse of Midoriya’s face. His eyes were distant like he was seeing something beyond the laptop’s screen. Anguish seeped from every part of him. His mouth was held open in a silent cry, hot air rushing out between his soft pants. His brows were peaked and furrowed. Kirishima rested a hand on his back, rubbing slow circles.

“It’s ok,” he soothed, placing a steadying hand on Midoriya’s chest. A thrumming heartbeat hammered under his fingertips and palm. Midoriya swallowed. He blinked, the distance fading each time his eyes closed.

“Hey.” Midoriya turned his head, meeting Kirishima’s gaze. The terror and pain remained, stuck in the depths of his eyes and the turned down corners of his mouth. Kirishima frowned, hoping to convey concern and comfort. “Are you ok?”

Midoriya’s eyes flicked between his, a thousand different things running through them. He turned away, forcing his lips to curve upwards.

“Yeah,” he replied, shaky. “I’m ok. I-uh- I just- Sorry about that.” He chuckled, the sound forced and closed off. His lips trembled and the smile cracked. Kirishima’s frown deepened.

“What happened?”

“Nothing!” The answer came too quick and prepared. “Nothing happened, I just got too caught up in it, that’s all.” He tried a laugh, but it sounded more like a desperate cough: rough, grating, and distressing. Kirishima pursed his lips, thinking.

“We should probably take a break then,” he decided, closing the laptop. “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen.” He clambered off the bed, extending a hand to help Midoriya up. Their hands remained clasped around each other.

Walking down the empty halls to the kitchen, Kirishima caught Midoriya looking at Bakugo’s door. His gaze lingered on it for a second too long, a flash of fear in his look that was swallowed by something else that Kirishima couldn’t describe.

In the kitchen, Kirishima had Midoriya sit down at the table as he rummaged around, finding the ingredients and appliances he wanted. About twenty minutes later, he grabbed two cups, pouring the clear burnt orange liquid he’d created into each of them. Walking back to the table, he handed Midoriya one of the steaming cups and sat next to him, cupping his own in his hands. Midoriya looked down at the cup’s contents, brows furrowed.

“This doesn’t smell like tea...” he mumbled, whether, at himself or him, Kirishima wasn’t sure. He shrugged, choosing to answer anyway.

“It’s not tea. It’s apple cider. My mom taught me how to make it.” He sipped the hot beverage, letting the flavor coat his tongue. Midoriya nodded and followed his lead without hesitation. He pulled the cup away, licking his lips.

“What do you think?” Kirishima inquired, hiding a grin behind his cup as he took another sip. Midoriya bobbed his head, staring at the hot liquid again.

“It’s a lot like tea,” he started, slow. “I’ve just never had... apple tea.” Kirishima snorted, cider almost spraying from his nose. He laughed, hand covering his mouth to try and muffle the noise. If they roused any of the others, they’d never hear the end of it.

Midoriya watched him with an amused, yet confused expression, enjoying Kirishima’s joy but not fully understanding what brought it on.

Kirishima sighed, straightening up from his hunched over position, an extra precaution to keeping the laughter as quiet as possible. He shook his head, still chuckling.

“I hope you don’t mind me using the phrase ‘apple tea’ from now on.” Midoriya smiled, taking another sip.

“Not at all. Have at it.” The two boys fell into a soft silence, the looming subject being artfully ignored by one, and analyzed by another.

“So,” Kirishima sighed, believing it best to be blunt. “Do you want to talk about what happened during the movie?” He watched Midoriya’s reaction. The freckled teen slumped a little in his chair, somehow effectively hiding his face with a small, porcelain cup.

“It’s nothing,” Midoriya mumbled, taking a distracting slurp.

“You looked like you were on the verge of some kind of panic attack,” Kirishima pressed on. “That couldn’t have been nothing.”

“It’s stupid,” Midoriya supplied instead.

“Anything that freaks you out that much is never stupid.” Kirishima leaned down, trying to catch a glimpse of those downturned green eyes. “You know I’d never make fun of you, right?” Midoriya’s shoulders hunched past his ears as his fingers fiddled with the cup’s handle. With a weary sigh, he dropped his shoulders and placed the cup down onto the table.

“It’s stupid, but when that guy was dragged into the forest by that monster, it just- it looked a lot like how the villains took Kacchan.” Midoriya refused to meet Kirishima’s gaze, his fingers tapping against the cup’s surface.

Kirishima bit his lip, guilt sticking to the inside of his gut like caramel in a hot car. He scooted his chair closer until their knees were knocking together. He wrapped a hand around Midoriya’s wrist, pulling it away from the cup with gentle fingers. He slipped his hand up until it intertwined with Midoriya’s.

“That’s not stupid, Izuku,” he whispered, thumb trailing along one of the scars. “That stuff sticks with you forever. I felt shitty when that happened. I can’t imagine what it felt like for you, seeing it all in person.” He paused, searching for his next words carefully. “But-”

“I failed him.” Kirishima flinched at the words that spilled from Midoriya’s mouth. “I was so close to reaching him, and I was too late. We were lucky. The villains didn’t interrogate him or hurt him. He was safe when we found him because they wanted him safe. What if, next time, they capture someone else? And then they interrogate or hurt them. What if they kill them? And I just watched them get taken away? Because I was too weak to stop it? Because I couldn’t get to them in time? We were lucky that time, but what about next time? What if I fail them again? What if-”

“Hey!” Kirishima cut through his rambling, grabbing his face in his hands and turning him to look straight into his eyes. He poured every ounce of love, pain, and distress into his gaze, hoping that could drive home what he was about to say. “Don’t think like that. Ever! You didn’t fail Bakugo. Or anyone else. Yeah, we were lucky, but now we all know better. We know that villains can come at us at any moment, so we’re always prepared. And we all know what we signed up for: to be heroes. We all came to this school knowing that this wasn’t going to be a safe job. And you can’t keep worrying about the future, ‘cause that’s only going to freeze you up in the now. All we can do is prepare for the future. That’s the best we can do, as people and heroes. Besides, what’s important right now is that we got Bakugo back, and everyone’s safe.” He stroked his thumbs over Midoriya’s cheeks, brushing away tears that had started to fall. “We’re ok, thanks to you and your awesome plans.” He kissed his cheek, earning a stuttering laugh. “Your big, awesome brain-” He kissed his other cheek. “And your totally amazing quirk-” He kissed his forehead. “And your manly personality-” He leaned far enough back to see Midoriya’s entire, glowing face. He grinned, feeling something light flutter around in his chest.

“All of that is going to save the world one day.” He kissed Midoriya’s lips, absorbing their softer texture compared to his rougher ones. He pulled away, letting their lips brush against one another. “And we’re going to kick villain ass,” he promised, grinning, sharp teeth on full display. Midoriya laughed, reaching out for another peck, the laughter bubbling on his lips. Kirishima’s grin widened and softened, relieved to see the dusting of blush from laughing. He rested his forehead against Midoriya’s, memorizing every freckle, laugh-line, and sparkle in his eyes and smile. Midoriya brushed his nose with Kirishima’s, his laughter dying down to quiet chuckles.

“So,” Kirishima drawled, arching an eyebrow as overly seductive as he could. “I got It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown saved on my laptop too. Want to watch that instead?” Midoriya’s laughter started up anew, breaking Kirishima’s seductive facade with a wide grin.

“Yes!” Midoriya cheered quietly, standing up and dragging Kirishima back to the room. Kirishima followed, trying not to trip as they hushed each other’s laughs, completely forgetting about the dishes they’d left behind. Hopefully, their classmates would show a little mercy and kindness tomorrow.

Another down, five more to go!

I hope you all enjoyed this. Thanks for reading!

#13daysofbnha #bnhalloweenchallenge #bnha halloween #bnha #halloween #kirideku #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #comforting #my fic #my writing

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jui-imouto-chan · 6 years

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Ohohohoho, Cole having a crush on Connor 👀

Cole would be the little kid that says he’ll marry the nice older kid that takes care of him and then actually looks forward to it his entire life.•“Cole, have you ever looked at someone, and like, the top of your stomach gets all warm and you really just wanna smile really badly? Like, if that person even looks at you, you feel like your day is just, 20x better than it could have been without them?”“What’s brought this up?” Cole asks, intrigued. He leans closer, wondering what’s made his friend suddenly so descriptive.“Well, I was reading one of those cheesy romance books, and this dude was apparently really into this girl. I was thinking it over, and I found out that I might actually be in love with Melanie.”“In love?” Cole parrots. He distractedly adds a, “Congratulations.” But his mind is going back to someone who makes his heart speed up and cheeks warm and is just so perfect, an angel on earth.Something inside of him flutters at the thought of being in love with Connor.——Cole watches Connor out of the corner of his eye, cheeks burning red. His heart thumps in his chest and he’s certain Connor can hear it. “Are y—““You look really pretty today.” Cole blurts, then immediately looks away. “I mean, you look pretty everyday, but, um, uh, I wanted to tell you. That. You look. Yeah.”Connor smiles at him, and Cole wonders how the android hasn’t slapped him across the face for even standing in his presence. Teenage awkwardness is practically oozing out of him. “Thank you very much, Cole. You look quite dashing, yourself.”Cole is pretty sure that even his pinky toe is blushing. “Th-thanks!” Connor smiles again. Cole doesn’t think there’s anyway to have that smile directed at himself without combusting from the inside out. He’s distracted enough that he doesn’t hear Connor’s quiet warning of a bicycle, nor the tinkle of a bell behind him, so when Connor grabs his hand and pulls him close, he’s so surprised he can’t even actually outwardly emote.“Are you alright?”“Y-yeah.” Connor is still holding his hand as they continue home.—-Connor’s hands are over his forehead again, and he quickly wets a rag to place it over. He then grabs one of the elastic headbands and puts it over the rag and around his head to keep the cloth in place. They have plenty in the bathroom for when they’d wash their faces and didn’t want to get their hair wet. He fusses over Cole’s state of dress, bundling him up in a warm sweater and leaving the room for barely a minute before returning with a steaming bowl of soup.“Eat this carefully but quickly.”Cole’s fingers shake as he grabs the spoon. Connor picks it up from his grasp and instead chooses to feed him, treating the teen like a child with the “aaaahh”s he’d say before putting the spoon between his lips.When he’s done with the soup, Cole finds himself immensely tired. Connor is ready to leave the room to let him nap, but Cole is rambling quietly, deliriously. It’s almost cute.“So good to me, so perfect. He’s so perfect. Love him so much, would make such a good wife. My wife, yes, my amazing wife.” Then he looks over to Connor. “Connor, will you marry me?”“Will you go to sleep if I say yes?” Connor asks, looking amused. “Yeah.”“Then yes, Cole, I’ll marry you.” Connor calculates an 11.4% chance of Cole remembering this conversation.“Woohoo!” Cole cheers, then collapses back against the pillow, smiling dreamily.Unfortunately for Connor, Cole only remembers Connor agreeing to marry him, and that’s when shit hits the fan.•Something about this seems off, but idk what. I just woke up from a nap, maybe that’s it. I like the idea of Cole being a nervous, stuttering mess for a while, but after Connor accidentally commits himself to Cole, the cute little brat gets extra protective.

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psychoxcupcake · 3 years

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I Really Suck At This...

I really suck at keeping up with this. I need to start posting more often again. lol.

My oh my things have changed since I last posted.

Well, first of all I don't have the blue hair anymore, for now. I'll explain a little later what I mean by that. I have my eyebrow piercing back, I also have the center of my bottom lip pierced now. Woohoo. Yes, I like it, no, I don't care what anyone thinks. I've had it done for quite a while now actually. My hair is red at the moment, but if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram (really need to update that more often too), or any other social media that I'm on, then you probably know this already.

So, I started dating someone new about two months ago. Things are going great and I'm really happy. He's a great guy that loves me for who I am without trying to change me into something else. He's very supportive of me and the things I want to do. He doesn't try to control me or anything like any of my exes. He just wants me to be me and be happy. I couldn't ask for anyone better to be honest. The only thing I don't like about our relationship is that we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like, but we're making it work. I just hope that I make him as happy as he makes me. I love him with all my heart. 😍🥰💜💜💜

In other news, I decided to go back to school. When I graduated high school I tried hard to go to college, but I ended up dropping out after a week because I couldn't handle being in a classroom type setting again. It reminded me too much of all the hell I went through in high school and all the bullying I put up with. It also didn't help that I have social anxiety which made it nearly impossible for me to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing. Anyway, I decided to try it again because it's something I've always wanted to do and I've always felt like a letdown for dropping out. I enrolled in an online university and I started taking classes online this past Monday. I'm doing good so far and I'm actually able to concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing since I'm able to do it from home and my anxiety has been low because I'm not around other people. I also really like being able to do things at my own pace and not feeling stressed out because of it. One of my professors has already given me positive feedback about my work and likes what I'm doing. I really think I can do it this time. I have confidence in myself and everyone has been so supportive of me deciding to try again.

About my hair, right now it is dyed red, but I'm planning on dying it a mix of red and blue soon. I've been wanting to go back to my blue hair a lot lately, but my boyfriend's favorite color is red and a lot of people seem to like the red hair on me, so I thought that maybe I can get lucky and make everyone happy if I do some sort of mix of the two. I'm hoping it turns out good. lol. I'll post a picture whenever I do it so you all can see how it looks. Here's hoping for the best in my never-ending hair adventures.

I still don't have a vehicle yet, unfortunately, but I'm hoping that will change soon. For now though, things seem to be looking up for me. Only time will tell if they stay that way though. I'm hoping it lasts for a while though because I really need some positive energy going on in my life. I'm tired of all the negative energy and bad luck that I've had for who knows how long now.

Ok, I suppose my post is long enough. I'll shut up and stop rambling for now. I'll try to start updating this more often though because I like being able to look back through it to see where I've been and where I am now in my life.

Anyway, until next time. 💜

#psychoxcupcake #psycho #cupcake #college #university #new love #piercings #dyed hair

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majesticmarais · 6 years

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Skin Deep | Jonah Marais

Summary: You have acne and you feel really insecure about it so Jonah comforts you Requested by anon (woohoo first request) Word Count: 1095 Warnings: Really adorable Jonah

This one kinda hit close to home because ya girl has been struggling with acne for soooooo long! Much love to everyone with acne, you da bomb and you’re beautiful

Hope you guys enjoy this one and request some more!!

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I sat on mine and Jonah’s bed as I scrolled through instagram. Jonah had gone out for an interview this morning so I of course stayed home. I always found ways to occupy myself and have fun while the boys were gone.

Today though, I didn’t really have anything planned, and nothing I particularly wanted to do. So I decided I would probably just stay in for the day and hang out with the boys later.

i got up out of bed and walked to the bathroom, turned the light on and looked at myself in the mirror as I ran the water and waited for it to get warm. I stared at the acne spots and scars that covered mainly my cheeks, making me feel slightly more upset than usual. I thought about the girls on Instagram, with perfect skin, perfect bodies, perfect everything, and wondered why I had to be given this horrible acne that hasn’t gone away like it does with most people.

I hated it, and everyone always thought that drinking water and washing my face would make the problem go away, but that wasn’t the case. I turned my head so I could see it, letting out a loud sigh and wishing I could make it go away.

Today was one of the days I wanted to hide my face from everyone, because I felt gross, and I felt ugly. Why would Jonah want someone like me?

His fans have pointed it out before, but Jonah always told me to ignore it. It was hard though, when something you’ve been insecure about for years is pointed out, it makes you feel a lot worse. My whole life I had to hear people complaining about one breakout, meanwhile I had them all the time.

I washed my face and let out a single tear before shaking it off and going back in the bedroom, getting dressed only to crawl right back under the covers. As I scrolled through social media I began to feel more and more insecure, so I shut it off and threw it onto the carpeted floor, assuming it wouldn’t break, but honestly not really caring.

I pulled the covers up to my face and stared at the blank wall in front of me.

Most days weren’t this bad, it was quite rare actually, but sometimes it felt like I was hit by a truck, and like I couldn’t be seen by anyone because I felt so horrible about it, and wished that it would go away because it would make me more attractive.

I didn’t know how long I had been lying in bed for, but it must have been a long time since I heard the boys faint voices coming from downstairs as they entered the house. Part of me wanted to jump up and go hug them all, but the other part of me wanted to stay in the bed. The latter was the stronger side.

I heard Jonah calling, and I weakly answered, but wasn’t sure if he heard me or not.

The bedroom door opened, and his smile faltered slightly once he saw me. “Baby? Are you okay? Are you sick?” he asked, walking over to me, his eyebrows furrowing as he grew more concerned. “Not sick, just ugly,” I mumbled, not even looking into his eyes. “What?” he asked. He closed the door so none of the boys would come in and sat down on the bed next to me, his hand running through my hair as he waited for me to say something else. “I’m sick of being ugly,” I repeated. “Y/N you are not ugly. What are you talking about?” he protested. “I am, Jonah. Why can’t I just get rid of this stupid acne? I hate that I need to wear makeup to even feel good about myself. I hate that it’s something I need to even worry about. I don’t know why you’re even with me,” I rambled, still facing away from Jonah, who let out a soft sigh.

He put his arms under my body and lifted me up so I was sitting up on the bed and facing him. He put his hands on either side of my face and stared into my now red and probably puffy eyes. “Y/N, you are the most beautiful girl to me. I don’t care if you have acne,” he said softly. “Acne is only skin deep, literally. There is so much more to you. You are amazing and kind, and they make you who you are. I honestly think it’s pretty cute, and it makes you different when there are a lot of people in this world who look the same. Sure, it’s not considered perfect to the media, but you’re perfect to me, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else, and I don’t wish there was a single thing different about you,” he said, causing a tear to slide down my face.

“Why are you so perfect?” I cried. He chuckled as he wiped away my tears with his thumb, pulling me closer to him and holding me tight, making me feel loved and safe. “You’re the perfect one, baby,” he replied, rubbing my back softly. “I just wish I could change it, yaknow?” I asked, my head buried in his chest. “I know baby, but just know that no one who truly loves you will care about that. You’re so so beautiful, and nothing should make you believe anything other than that.” “I guess I just see all these girls that look so perfect, and wish I was them. You deserve more,” I sighed. “I don’t want anything other than you. You’re the one for me, in all your beauty and glory, not a single thing wrong with you, except the fact that you steal my food,” he joked, causing me to let out a giggle as I cried.

“Did you stay in bed all day?” he asked. I nodded slightly. “Aw my love, why didn’t you call?” he asked. “I didn’t want to bother you, especially if you were doing the interview,” I answered. “I would have answered if it was before or after,” he replied. I shrugged, it was too late now anyway. “I’m just happy you’re here now,” I said, lifting my head up from his chest to look at him. He pressed a kiss to my lips and then both of my cheeks, which were the spots where I had the most acne and scarring.

“I love it about you,” he whispered.

#jonah marais #jonah marais imagine #why don't we #why don't we imagine #why don't we imagines #jonah marais imagines #wdw #wdw imagine #wdw imagines #corbyn bes #corbyn besson imagine #daniel seavey #daniel seavey imagine #jack avery #jack avery imagine #zach herron #zach herron imagine

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remindme2breathe · 3 years

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NO- it’s not an option

I am in the process of Selling my home (beyond the process I guess, we are in the middle of closing escrow!!! Woohoo!!!) I’ll be honest, it took 4 days to sell my home, so I hope what I’m saying doesn’t sound like a complaint, this entire entry should be the complaint, ha, ha, just kidding- kinda. My home is smaller then my next home (which is also in process, 3 weeks!!) but it doesn’t lack comfort. Although I have never been a true fan of this particular home, it has allowed us to experience a lot of family-like ‘adventures’ (don’t worry, you’ll hear about some of those sometime in the future). My new home is sitting pretty on 4 and a half acres of clean, flat land! My home has enough bedrooms for EVERYONE to have their own space! This next home is a blessing that I can never describe with all the words in the world. Not only is it gorgeous, but thanks to the help of my parents, I got it all on my own! All they really did was sign, but I managed to save, fix my credit and get approved all on my own. Being grateful doesn't even begin to compare to the actual feeling! What did I do to accomplish that? Refused to let anyone convince me that NO was an option.

There are 3 things I’ve said to my kids more then necessary. 1. Quiting is not an option 2. Being rich doesn’t mean your successful 3. Always be of service to people

What do I do for a living? You’d be surprised how many people actually thought I was involved in something illegal... no, really... You’d be surprised! It’s gotten so old that now all I do is smile and nod. I’m not telling you this to make anyone think I’m showing off, no, it’s not about that. I don’t like to struggle, I hate to work, and I don’t understand financial technical terms like dows and percentage and whatever other fancy words they wanna use to shine up the real process. Let me tell you what I did, but first let me give you the scale in which it’s impacted my family.

I grew up with working parents, both held full time jobs, their own businesses, investments, and had the ability to raise my siblings and I with the little luxuries we wanted (the occasional toys r’ us runs, little things like that). They were financial STABLE, but not rich. They opened their own business about 10 years ago and now both are worth about 3 million each, or so says their business person. I saw first hand the struggle my parents went through when they started up their business, my mom even said that there was a handful of times that they didn’t even have money to buy us food. But when success came for them, it came fast!

When I turned 16 I took a dab at DJ-ing. Yes, I really was THAT cool back then! I did that for about 4 years. I worked for an actual radio station when I was 17 1/2, I did all their overnight programming and special events. At 18 at these big events I thought I was at the top of everything! My paychecks I spent on myself! All of it! Every dime. It was as through I was allergic to money and needed to spend it quicker then when I got it. My dad then brought it to my attention about my non-existent money management skills. He was right. What was my solution? Open a savings account? No, I’d still spend it. Save hard cold cash? Nope, I’d spend that too. I had to do something. At 18 money beckoned me. I decided to start doing side jobs; weddings, quinceaneras, anything! All that money I’d hand over to my dad and asked him not to give me a dime no matter what I tell him. WHO KNOW HE WOULD TAKE THAT SO LITERALLY! But it worked, I would save about 2800 every month, give or take. And some months he wouldn’t see anything- com’on! I had to have a life too! At 18 I graduated High School and started school to get my nursing degree. At age 20, with only 10 months left to graduate I got pregnant. I worked as long as I could and tried to do as much in school, I didn’t want to be a statistic! I will not be a number on the ‘’lets blame the baby’’ list! I was determined. AND I FINISHED! Once my baby was born I quit the radio station because it was more important for me to be with him then to be in clubs at night. After he turned 1 I decided to get into my field. I was lucky and got into an ER right away. It was exciting, super fast paced! The problem was the 12 hour shifts! I wasn’t being a baby... I wanted to be with my baby. While I worked there I continued to give my dad cash to hold, it wasn’t as much as before (because raising a baby comes with extra costs). But it was imperative that I saved because now my fear was providing for my child. But the hours were tough, mentally and physically, I went part time after 3 years. One day I had a patient that completely changed my life. PUT A PIN IN THAT!!!! He’s worth the story! Anyway this patient ended up influencing me way more then I could have hoped for! This man was put in my path for a reason.

Closer to today: Last year I asked my dad how much I had finally saved. I never asked him because I was worried I’d be tempted to use it wrongly. Mind you, this was a savings I have accrewed over a span of about 22 years. I never kept track, I never wrote it down. This money had to be OUT OF SIGHT AND OUT OF MIND. I saved $264,464.10, that means I managed to save almost 12,000 a year! A little over $1,000 month! AGAIN!!!!! I didn’t do it religiously! I remember when the $0.10 happened: I TOLD YOU! Sometimes I wasnt able to, but my system was the following: I would carry $60.00 in cash every week on me for any little thing we might want, eating out, treats, toys, medicine, etc. A WEEK! That number went up when I had more people around me. I kept 1,000 in my bank account after bills at all times (this was also never garenteed: THESE BILLS CAN GET A LITTLE OUT OF HAND! If I had over 1,000, I would withdrawl and give it to my dad, no matter the amount. All the change that was under $5 (bill) I would save in an envelope I kept in my dresser and would seal and turn that change over to my dad at the end of the month (that change adds up QUICK!). Any extra cash- tax refunds, these stimulus... it is wasn’t I always had like a paycheck, it was considered extra and I would send it on its way. HOWEVER!!!!! YES I’VE BEEN TEMPTED! I STILL HAVE THAT TEMPTATION! My dad said to invest it to make money on it. Yea, that’s nice but no. I’m too impatient to wait for someone else to put my money to work. Well, I guess I kinda ate those words: here’s what I did. I have a close family friend who has tons of friends all of which could use a job. I made 3 businesses with $10,000 each. THIS WAS A STRETCH! But it’s do-able for WAY LESS!!! I just couldn’t help over buying, geez!

Long story short, I started a gardening company. I do nothing but cover costs and pay wages. I collect on that and let me tell you- AMAZING. If you intend to do this let me disclose the following: People can be shitty! People CAN steal from you especially is the customers pay cash. PAY YOUR WORKERS WELL AND THEY WILL TREAT YOU WELL! I supply them with the extras. My kids fill refrigerators with snacks and waters or sodas. We supply uniforms at no cost, they get paid time off of two weeks, and rain or shine they get their salary! My son also said MOBILE CAR WASH is good too! There we went, now him and his friend run that truck. They make money, I make money. The 3rd one is a Pool Cleaning Service. This one was a little work because most people with pools have friend references. But this actually holds up pretty good. All three trucks are on my property by 8 pm, my son will fill the tanks, check the interiors, and supplies for the next pick up date. It works out.

Doing this has allowed me to stay home with my kids. I have been a house mom for the last 8 years. And now, I’m buying my 4 acre property! Thank God!

It’s tough, especially because I like expensive things! I love to spend, I love to travel. And believe it or not, I was still able to.

Wow, if this wasn’t an epic RAMBLE, I don’t know what would be! Sorry in advance. I’m so excited! I can’t wait to move! Hopefully someone has a small savings that they want to put to work and maybe this helped you get your mind thinking.

#Financial #had2save #cashHOME #tricks2mytrade #mutiply

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paradiselostbythedashboardlight · 6 years

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So in honor of me finally rewatching The Last Jedi, I thought it might be fun to do a little retrospective and also rewatch the Force Awakens just to see how they flow together etc. Here is a rambling list of my thoughts

The Force Awakens rewatch:

1. It really has to be said, but Finn objectively has a much better part in this movie. He’s so funny and so charming and so relatable. But one of the things I think fan fiction made me mentally edit out was that he really is a super reluctant hero! Like, he legitimately never has any interest in joining the Resistance, most of the help he gives to them is motivated by quid pro quo for helping rescue Rey. Basically, I think this sets up his TLJ plot line a lot better than I had initially thought, because Finn is super uncommitted to the cause.

2. Finn and Rey are a fucking delight. One thing that this movie does so well is keeping them almost constantly in peril and they are just electric when they’re bouncing back and forth off of one another. Also I’d kinda forgotten (again, the perils of fan characterization) but Rey is actually very prickly to everyone at first and seeing her warming up to Finn and eventually even hugging him when he inadvertently does the most powerful thing he could (coming back for her) is absolutely precious. I ship them hard. And yes romantically, but I also feel like I won’t be mad if it doesn’t end romantically in the movies as long as they still are the most important people in each other’s lives.

3. Rey is also pretty unnerved by her Jedi powers and I think that subtly sets up a lot of her reactions to Luke’s training. She really is trying to play it like she knows what to expect and she’s ready to be trained, but she’s basically just putting on a brave face when her powers actually really confuse and overwhelm her in TFA. Also I TOTALLY forgot Kylo Ren being a weirdly elitist dick the whole time about her like “what? some girl? some rando scrapper???” like calm down there is meritocracy in this universe.

4. There are a lot of good jokes, to whoever says that Star Wars shouldn’t be goofy and have a lot of tension ruining humor, I raise you the scene where Finn is trying to put a bandage on Chewbacca and BB-8 hears him roaring and literally screams and runs away. Also Harrison Ford having the best two lines of his career essentially back to back with “that’s not how the Force works!” and then immediately “what do you mean you’re cold???”

5. I know he doesn’t have a lot to do in the second half of the movie, but the pure gleeful joy I feel when Poe is shooting down TIE fighters and there’s this huge pan shot and Finn goes “THAT’S ONE HELL OF A PILOT” will rectify any sins.

6. Seriously note, but this also gave me a better sense of how Leia’s storyline was meant to progress. She’s the one who has hope in TFA that her son can be redeemed and not just that, he can be brought home and everything will be fine. It takes Han’s death and all of the events of TLJ before she is finally ready to admit to Luke that her son his gone and he can never come back. I think by the time I saw TLJ I’d forgotten just how wildly hopeful she was and how crushing it is to see her abandon that.

7. Additionally, Kylo Ren is super fucking creepy in this movie. Like, I think again that the fan culture has made me forget that, but he’s legit terrifying. And that’s great, I really like how scary he is and he’s a great villain. But one thing I noticed is that everyone sorta portrays him like this super emotionally volatile explosive screaming guy, but he actually spends the majority of TFA speaking in a very creepy flat monotone. Essentially the only hints of anger you ever get are in his violent actions, but his voice is always calm. It’s only at the end when you see him really come apart at the seams and start screaming at people. Anyways, I think that was very telling for how accurate Snoke really is when he says that killing Han kinda made him snap. ALSO DAMN THE SOUND EDITING OF THE FORCE INTERROGATIONS IS GREAT.

8. Rey’s theme fucking goes. That’s all I have to say, it’s dope.

9. The stormtrooper screaming TRAITOR is exactly as funny as I remember it being.

10. Hux is a lot more... competent here? Or at least, he’s not a cartoon character. I don’t really feel strongly that one or the other is better though because I got enjoyment out of both.

11. This movie is a lot more of a World movie than a plot movie. I don’t know how else to put it. I think that’s why some love it and some felt cold while feeling completely differently about TLJ. But this movie is trying to get you hype for the world of Star Wars whereas TLJ is really focusing in on a particular plot and thus narrows scope and focus a lot.

The Last Jedi rewatch:

1. So switching from one movie to the other rapidly, I definitely felt a bit of tone whiplash at the beginning. Particularly the Poe and Hux dialogue is just super goofy and Hux’s face is making really campy expressions the whole time. But as I continued, I think I realized that actually the tone of this movie isn’t that much sillier. Yes it has porgs (and you can pry them away from my cold dead hands) but the majority of the scenes are actually pretty grim. Overall, this movie has a lot more death and destruction. No one but Han really dies in TFA and we barely notice when the Resistance loses a ship. The tone of this movie is actually pretty bleak for the most part, which is why I think the humorous sections seem more jarring.

2. Canto Bight. Ah Canto Bight. The part no one likes. It bothers me less with each rewatch because I can see how it sets up so much thematic material that I really do like. For example, DJ is a great foil to Finn in that he is pretty much what Finn could have become if he’d continued on his path from The Force Awakens without Rey. Disillusioned with both sides, motivated only by survival, no hope in something better. Also I really think it does give you complexity that TFA lacks with its pretty vague description of what exactly the Resistance is and what is happening in the galaxy.

3. You know actually, I think the reason people don’t like the Canto Bight sequence is because it’s basically the prequels! Hear me out: full of wacky aliens, showing the rich and powerful part of the galaxy not the gritty part, moral ambiguity for the good guys, dialogue is HIGH camp (”this lousy beautiful town” lol Rose plz no), CGI chase scenes. There is even a small boy yelling “woohoo!” at a race. It is the prequels.

4. I still love Luke’s plot and I don’t see how it could have gone any differently and still worked. There is literally no better reason for Luke to have randomly gone away to enjoy #islandlife alone when the Resistance needs him. Like... The Force Awakens sets up that he’s disappeared mysteriously and even Leia can’t find him with the Force so you’re expecting something bad.

5. Rey’s parents. I realized this time that she never actually clarifies in TFA whether she knows her family or not. So it does actually make sense that she remembers them from being like a 5 year old, felt horribly abandoned when they sold her, and hangs on to this naive belief they probably gave her about returning one day to save her. She’s not really searching for their identity so much as their whereabouts.

6. I know this is controversial, but Poe really does have a better plot line in this movie. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t really even have a storyline in TFA, he’s just like... a chill guy they meet. You don’t have to like the storyline, but you should admit that it is nice that he got one this time. I also noticed some really nice details/transitions where his dialogue mirrors Leia so it’s really clear that this is all a setup to him assuming command of the Resistance.

7. So... right... I don’t want to delay this any longer, but this movie does have some... awkwardness. The random scene with Maz. How coincidental it is that they find DJ. Holdo holding the idiot ball a little and being randomly suspicious around Poe. It isn’t quite elegant with its plot, but I do respect that it is due to the fact that the movie is trying to convey a much more complicated series of events. And TFA isn’t without some of these contrived moments, it just covers them a little better (I’m looking at you Rathtars and jumping to light speed whenever Han damn well pleases and Phasma in the trash compactor).

8. Kylo Ren is like way crazier in this one, but much less frightening. In fact, I noticed that while I previously mentioned this movie is way darker and more upsetting, the villains are actually much less scary. Snoke is like... super not scary. Hux is a loony toon now. Kylo Ren is somewhere between sympathetic character and petulant walking tantrum. I think that serves to put the focus of the story less on defeating some evil guy, and more on the evils of systems and organizations. The threat isn’t a guy with a mask or a gross face in this movie, it’s the endless consumption of war that ultimately makes human life meaningless. I like the message, but I also like scary guys in capes so... conflicted.

9. I’ve watched this movie three damn times now and I still can’t tell if I like Rose because she’s a good character or if Kelly Marie Tran is just That Charming.

10. I still really like this movie and whenever something doubtful happens, the movie immediately follows it up with something so mind bogglingly awesome you can’t even think about it anymore. The highs are high even if the lows are more obvious.

11. They should have fucking kept that Phasma deleted ending.

#star wars #The Force Awakens #the last jedi

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