#and we rarely get blackout amnesia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plural-culture-is · 9 months

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Here's a question. How is accessing memories supposed to work? Not like memories locked by the system, just memories in general. We don't get blackout amnesia unless something really bad happens, but memories in general feel like walking in an empty field and then suddenly slamming into a tree that wasn't there five seconds ago, we can never access memories on purpose without a trigger for said memories, and often those memories are vague and hard to grasp because rarely do the memories actually belong to the headmate who is trying to access them (for us sharing memories is less like showing them and more like us telling each other how it went down, it feels familiar but definitely not in a way that says you yourself were there doing everything).

What is even happening here? Is this normal? Do singlets have to be prompted to be able to remember something? If not then is this a common plural thing? It can make us really upset sometimes, because it doesn't even feel like we've forgotten pretty much everything, nothing feels missing even though everything is. Its scary, and makes therapy really difficult and basically impossible when the therapist asks vague questions. I'm getting upset so we're gonna go now, but basically any answer would help here

I'm sorry that's distressing you so much, and I'm not sure how to help with that, but I can tell you our experience with memory, which is probably the same for singlets without memory issues because of our lack of amnesia and monoconsciousness (we do have ADHD which probably affects it but. still)

basically I think singlets can look back at a day and slowly recount the events, maybe not remembering all of it at once, mostly the most important stuff first, but the bits you forgot would be fairly easy to recover because it happened so recently. the further you go back, the harder it is to immediately remember. generally you need a prompt, which could be anything from someone telling you what happened, to a smell, in order for you to remember something that happened a while ago. sometimes you go somewhere and you get memories by looking at the place they happened. sometimes memories can feel like they're slamming you in the face, but I think this is usually when something tiny prompts it, or it's a buried memory, because you weren't expecting it. you can also 'prompt' yourself to get memories, for instance you could be trying to remember what homework you were supposed to be doing, generally moving around helps for reasons I don't know, and then soon after your brain has scooped the memory of your teacher telling you out of the depths. or sometimes you can just be thinking about stuff and then that triggers a memory, and then maybe that memory triggers another memory. also if you're in the middle of telling a story, sometimes the memories flow, so even if you didn't remember before you started telling the story, they're here now. sometimes there are memories you look back at often, so no matter how long ago they happened, you can easily look back at it without more of a prompt than "I want to remember this." I hope that makes sense, I'm sure there's more to it, but that's all the examples of memory that I can think of right now

I wonder if there are any singlets out there who want to share their experiences of memory? or systems who think their memories work the same as singlets?

#not plural culture #memory #singlet memory #plural system #plurality #actuallyplural #anonymous

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faesystem · 5 months

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I believe it is quite critical to have conversations surrounding the different presentations of CDDs. Even truthful information about how some ways CDDs can present can quite easily transform into misinformation when other presentations are ignored.

(Example, "DID is a covert disorder." It can be, yes, but saying it like that implies that it is only a covert disorder.)

Covert and overt are good umbrella terms. It is, like many things, a spectrum. I believe it is honestly far better to discuss covert and overt symptoms as opposed to covert and overt systems. The majority of systems will be some combination of the two.

With that said we are an overt system. We use that label because it accurately represents our experiences with the world and helps us communicate them.

Examples of our overt symptoms include:

- Incredibly distinct voices and speech patterns that we cannot mask without dissociating. (This has actually lead to many alters being *unable* to speak verbally without dissociating.)

- Amnesia causing us to have absolutely no idea where we are, who our family is, ect. (Obviously, it is a bit hard to tell how often this happens. We were speaking with our mother the other day and she told us there were two instances of us forgetting who she was that she knows of. We had no idea that had happened twice.)

- For a long time, we would essentially always know who is in front due to how distinct we are. (A recent event has interrupted that, as we typically do not actually have any fully formed alters fronting at the moment. Just fragments. It is being worked on.)

- Skills do not always transfer between alters. (Can't think of any at the moment, but it's definitely a thing.)

- Sort of related, our handedness changes between alters. While they still tend to write better with our right, they do not do nearly as well as alters who are right handed.

Yet, even as a self identified overt system, we have plenty of covert symptoms as well. In particular in regards to passive influence.

As far as I can remember (which, well, if there is blackout amnesia I may just be unaware), even on the rare chance we do have blackout amnesia, passive influence tends to give alters an idea of what is going on.

We have complex splitting patterns due to being polyfragmented, and every new subsystem has very poor communication at first with the rest of the system. It is typically the first few times alters from this subsystem from that they cannot remember anything, but they get a gut feeling about it. They do not remember our mom being our mom, but they know she is. They do not remember what a phone is, but they know how to use it. They do not remember being friends with that person, but they know we're friends and how they're meant to act.

Our passive influence often times means we can 'unlock' memories even through amnesia once there is some sort of cue. For example, if alter a was told to do the dishes, alter b wouldn't necessarily remember that unless something reminded them of the memory.

Passive infulence also makes our skills transferring pretty unnoticeable a lot of the time. We tend to just switch if a skill is needed, but some examples include alters getting frontstuck during exams and having no memories of the classes. They will get the knowledge that we learnt in the classes.

I just think we need to have a lot more nuanced discussions to be honest.

#Mod Tim (He/Him)#Sysconversation #Syscourse #<- Not really discourse but I think that cesspool would do better with some conversations in there too.

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sysmemes · 1 year

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Ask game

1, 3, 4

1. Do you have an inner world? If yes, is it something you consciously made? What is your inner world like?

Kinda? My inner world is more of a thought exercise that facilitates communication and switching than it is “a place to hang out when not in front”. I have some control over how it looks but not entirely. Its based on dreams I had when I was younger. Its a hill with a cave for each alter and some other caves that I’ve only been able to go into once or twice. There’s also a forest and a beach, but I haven’t explored them much. There’s a “control room” where you go when you’re in front thats just an underwater cave, and to exit and go to the inner world you go out the door and swim up to the surface, then walk through a waterfall. Theres a weeping willow near the waterfall as well.

3. Do you experience your disorder as overt or covert? What does that mean to you?

Definitely covert, and I like it that way. For me, it means that I don’t tell anybody irl (or even online outside of system spaces) that I have a CDD, except my boyfriend. My boyfriend treats me like they would treat a singlet. I don’t have blackout amnesia or frequent possessive switches. I don’t use pluralkit almost ever. The changes in mannerisms / style / etc that others could see are very subtle to the point that I rarely notice them myself. There’s definitely been times where people around me have witnessed a “hard/sudden” switch that came with a big change in personality, thoughts, behaviors, etc, but I can make excuses and nobody realizes its a switch. I also use I/me most of the time. I guess for me being covert means a mix of “actions I choose to take to make sure nobody else knows”, “ways my system functions that allows me to hide it”, and “ways my system functions that makes it so I didn’t know for a long time”.

4. How do you experience communication from parts?

Our communication isn’t very good tbh. If we want to talk to each other, whoever is in front has to consciously go back into the headspace and see if they can find anyone, but its hard and doesn’t work often. The most reliable way we can communicate is when the part in front is distressed. Then, a part might be able to talk at them, but I don’t think the part in front is usually able to talk back to them. Its definitely something I need to work on. So far the lack of communication hasn’t caused a ton of problems, but I imagine it will need to get better as we do more trauma stuff in therapy.

#not a sysmeme #a word from our sponsors

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circulars-answers · 2 years

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How were you able to all decide on a career in teaching?

We weren't, at first.

In high school (before we knew we were a system), I decided to start working toward being a teacher. I knew I wanted to make school good for kids, better than what I had experienced. I started putting all of my energy toward becoming an English teacher, because English teachers saved my life AND ruined it at the same time, so I wanted to be the best one I could be to make it better for kids.

Back then, I knew I had some... "interesting ways of thinking." I had an innerworld, and a visualization of the other alters. I knew I "became" Wade (who used another name back then) sometimes, or that Numb looked like a gray art-base. Then, the "Singlet Years" happened, aka two years where I lost access to the innerworld, and was "one person." I, to this day, have almost no memory of those two years. Completely normal, right? Haha.

Once we were in college, we went straight into learning how to teach. And boy fucking howdy, getting a degree in secondary english education is hard as shit. It only counts as a major/minor, but it's technically two majors: one in English and one in Education. I had 16 credits each year, even though I already came to college with a full 12 credits already.

Part of the way through Freshman year (I don't remember when), I heard about DID in one of the lit classes I was in. It shook me to my core. It explained everything I had experienced for years - the blackouts, the amnesia, the notes I found in handwriting that wasn't mine - it all fell into place. I even started to recall things from "The Singlet Years." Not many, but some.

After that, we started to focus so much more on just. Getting okay. Getting normal. To the point that school was just still happening, and I just did it because that's what I had to do. It wasn't until almost the end of Freshman year that we went "wait. Shit. We're like 8 people, are we really all in agreement with being a teacher?"

The consensus back then: Rice -> Too dissociated to comment back then Wade -> I won't ever front anyway, why does it matter? Sierra -> Too perfect to fail at any job, so let's do whatever, and English is nice Numb -> Whatever's best for the group. Just never young kids, because I don't do snot. Debra -> Ew gross. No. Curtis (me) -> Uh. Fuck yeah? Sie -> Sure!!! That sounds fun. LED -> Okay :)

So, we just. Stuck with it, since the majority of us didn't care. Numb liked teaching for a bit, but as soon as we actually STARTED teaching, he said he would just focus on being an author instead. He puts up with it. As for Debra, she rarely fronts anyway, and when she does, she relishes being a bitch to our bad coworkers. Teaching's got something for everyone, lol.

Thanks for the ask!!

#DID #Teaching with DID #asks #anon

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welcometothenightcourt · 2 years

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can someone still have did even if they don’t wake up in places and don’t know where they are and don’t find things they haven’t written or gone missing? could u still have amnesia even if u don’t have that experience? and have non possessive switches? did everywhere is explained this way yet I don’t experience it and I say I have amnesia bc i think I have gaps in memories and times where the memory seems to have gone missing but I don’t get this stuff and I also don’t hear voices or talk to my alters I think? well for two I know the things they’d like and want and info abt them and I can think to myself “hm if we did this (alter) wld have a problem with it” and my thoughts are constant talking but idk if I actually hear OTHERS talking ? anyway ,,and I feel like I dissociate a lot and sometimes my surroundings /do/ feel off and I have off feelings about who I am and existing (I’m simplying certain feelings this is not all of it) but idk if that is indicative of an alter I don’t know fronting? it’s weird to me bc I only know two alters (I’m one of them ofc) and they seem to be non possessive switches and I don’t notice if I switch to an alter I’m not aware of but I look back on memories and some seem so gone or hard to remember and it makes me a bit confused bc does that mean someone else is there? idk it’s weird bc in the moment I’m yeah I’m living through my day no memories going missing .. but then later on(maybe when I’m a different alter?) Those memories I felt secure in are missing(??) idk can u help explain amnesia things in did and what could possibly be happening here? and Um how to know if ur thoughts r ur own or from another alter .. like how do I know I’m not just controlling the thoughts idk ..

Hey there! In short, yes, yes, and yes.

A lot of DID is talked about in extremes—possessive switches, blackouts, hearing alters like they’re right next to you all the time. In truth, most of those are fairly rare experiences. While possessive switches can be common, full blackouts are more commonly substituted for greyouts, and when you hear people it’s hardly ever like they’re standing right next to you unless they’re some version of co or using a gatekeeper or someone closer to relay.

While it varies system to system, in our system it tends to sound muffled as if speaking through a wall or door at best without being in co/using a middle person/being the middle person, and we’ve had years of working on communication and getting to know our system. Communication takes time. I wouldn’t expect newly discovered systems to be on the same communication level as systems with more experience in plurality. If you’re trying to hear more, work on getting to know the others, and try talking to them more as well! I also find that it’s easier to hear them and feel them when relaxed and open to it.

I have another post on amnesia in DID which explain greyouts which you can find here! Then this is a post on amnesia between switches, and this on what amnesia (or lack thereof really) is like in OSDD 1-b in case you think that might be relevant to you. Overall, what you’re describing in terms of amnesia sounds very familiar to me and quite common amongst the community.

Non-possessive switches come in many forms, but commonly, they result in co-fronting or co-consciousness. This means that someone else is fronting alongside you, or in-tune and paying attention with what’s going on with the outside world. When alters are co-front, co-con, or even just close to front, you may experience “passive influence.” Passive influence is when others’ feelings, thoughts, or behaviors sort of bleed into or meld with yours. This would explain why your interests change or you feel differently about things when others front with you!

As for the thoughts, separating your thoughts from others’ thoughts can be very difficult, and sometimes impossible. It’s a very common source of self-doubt for many systems, so you’re not alone in that at all. For me, I find that sometimes responding to the thought will result in odd responses or lines of thinking that I would never go down, and because I would never say those things and it’s happening out of my control, I attribute that to being someone else’s line of thinking or response.

I hope I answered everything, and feel free to ask more if you need clarification! Thanks for stopping by!

#asks #did #system #system asks #actuallydid #osdd #mh asks #did asks #passive influence

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fqirycollective · 2 years

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Our Experience Being Polyfragmented

As a system of (currently) 1700+ alters, many wonder how we do it and other things about us being polyfragmented. This post is meant to share our experience about it.

What is a polyfragmented system?

Contrary to popular belief, having 100+ alters /does not make you polyfragmented./ Polyfragmentation is more than just alter count and fully relies on the structure of the system. 100+ alters is a common thing seen in polyfragmented systems, but it's not a definition nor a requirement. Polyfragmented systems have a complex structure with multiple subsystems, lower splitting tolerances, higher splitting frequencies, more specific roles, etc. We split very frequently and have 25+ subsystems.

Why do polyfragmented systems form?

Polyfragmented systems form due to the type of trauma the system faced. It's typically structured and organized, and it typically starts before age 5. It has to happen more frequently than a normal system's would, but this doesn't mean it's worse. Once again, the impact the trauma has is more important than the actual event. Polyfragmented systems' trauma happens so frequently that the child has no choice but to dissociate heavily to cope. For us, our abuse started at 3 months and has continued for 14+ years. It has calmed down a bit with age, but where the cause of our system lacks, there has been other types of abuse and trauma we've had to endure. Experiencing many types of trauma isn't required for polyfragmentation, it just so happens we have.

Our experience

As I said before, we split frequently and easily. This is due to us not having any other coping mechanisms besides doing so when we were younger and even if we have a few better ones now (writing down feelings, talking it out, etc.), our brain still uses the one it knows best and knows works. A lot of the time, new stressors will cause us to split but we have a hard time determining what caused who to split and when because we have so many fragments that are developing and hidden alters. We often have fragments develop and take on the identity of fanarts, regular art, characters, etc. that we consume. Because of that, we have a hard time determining who are fully introjects and who just assumed their identity. (Identity theft at the next level /j)

For fronting, we typically only have fledglings and fully formed alters front. It generally helps us mask easier, but not always. We also rarely only have one alter in front. Many alters co-front, depending on the situation. Usually they co-front with the hosts, unless there was a negative trigger that pulled them to front and it's something the hosts can't handle. Most alters have never fronted, or have fronted and not logged it. It's extremely frustrating when that happens because they tend to not leave notes or anything that could clue us in on what happened.

As for amnesia, that's a difficult subject to explain. We believe we are a DID system. We frequently have grey-outs, and blackouts aren't entirely rare either. Emotional amnesia is very heavy, especially if we get flashbacks we aren't ready for. We may know the event happened, but not have any of the emotions as a way to help prepare for when we do get emotional flashbacks of those events. We generally have grey-outs. However, I think we constantly dissociate because we're polyfragmented and we had to constantly dissociate as a child because we had no idea when or how we would get hurt next. The level of dissociation varies, but we're always dissociated to some extent. This also contributes to some amnesia even if we were fronting. Not nearly as much as if we weren't fronting, but general things we did need a little bit of reminding and we don't always have a really good memory of what happened. (This could also be due to us still living in a traumatic environment.)

#did system #osdd system #did alter #did osdd #dissociative system #osdd #osdd community #osdd support #osdd things #trauma #polyfrag system #polyfragmented

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oceanlandworld · 4 years

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system advice we wish we got years ago

we’ve been hanging around plural tumblr for over five years and uhhh there’s a lot of. Not Great info on this site, by which i mean there’s a lot that made us question what we were experiencing and repress shit rather than exploring it

so we wanted to list a few things that we wish we knew when we were first exploring our system (note: we use parts language cuz we prefer that!!)

“possession”-style amnesia (ie, complete blackouts in which you act dramatically different) is relatively rare and only emphasized so much in psychiatric literature because it’s comparatively easy to diagnose and observe from an outside perspective. amnesia can also look like periods of time being a blur, or being unable to piece events together along a timeline (among other things)

blurring is normal. identity confusion is normal. not knowing who is fronting at a given moment is normal and practicing internal communication can help with this

in most cases, inner worlds are intentionally created/developed and do not form of their own accord. if you don’t have an inner world that comes naturally to you, that’s ok! there are techniques you can use to make them - i outlined what we did here. writing out descriptions of interior spaces or what parts look like isn’t cheating or faking!!!

DID and OSDD are less about sharing a headspace with a bunch of randos than they are about sharing a headspace with a bunch of versions of yourself that have adapted to different situations. i think if someone told us ages ago that “it’s like carrying around old versions of yourself and having their thoughts and memories and needs still living in you” it would have made so much more sense to us

similar to above, it’s pretty normal for multiple parts in one system to have interests that overlap. examining chronology (ie what parts are most active at what points in our life) has helped a lot to distinguish parts with similar interests or emotional responses

different people visualize things differently and not having a clear visual or other sensory impression of parts doesn’t mean they’re not real

noticing how parts interact with each other and feel about each other is a really useful way to get a better understanding of the system

a private discord server is really great for writing out conversations between parts

parts form for reasons. having introjects from media you really love isn’t abnormal or cringey - if there’s some part of you that has found a reason to identify with or take on qualities from a character that's important to you, that’s okay and makes perfect sense! similarly, it’s i think pretty normal to have fictives from media you might not expect right away, especially kids’ media (a lot of us use it to escape stressful/traumatic situations as kids, so forming parts based on characters from such media makes sense!)

similarly, introjects of irl people you know/have known don’t mean something is wrong with you, although it can be really uncomfortable or frightening. the important thing is to remember that these parts are not literally those people, and if you work and communicate with them you can change aspects of them (ime explaining “hey, i get youre trying to help but this is really uncomfortable and i need you to change this however you can” is a good start, although it may not work in and of itself)

loving your parts is part of recovery. there’s a lot of memes etc like “my persecutor is evil and i need to restrain them/punish them” and stuff of this nature and i GET feeling like that but parts are adaptive. they are trying to help you even if it’s maladaptive ways!!! it can be really hard especially if you have more dissociative barriers, but showing them love and acceptance and trying to understand why they do things they do is pretty important ime. the “understanding” part often involves trauma processing though so it’s something that should be done carefully and in a safe environment

#plural blog #osdd #actuallyosdd #ok to reblog #georgie posts #long post #osdd1a

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greatneedtotakeanap · 4 years

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i binge read

episode 7 - the son of neptune

all right. here we go.

The biggest question that stuck in my mind after reading this book is why the HELL did Nico pretend like he didn’t know who Percy was??? What does he have to gain from this? How did he even get to Camp Jupiter in the first place???? I mean I know he was in the Underworld searching for Bianca but she was reborn into a new life, and I know he found Hazel instead. But how did they get to camp from there? What is Nico’s role at said camp? And why didn’t he tell anybody, especially when Percy showed up????? Also, where did he go?

Secondary question: The prophecy that Ella spouted didn’t come true. It obviously says the son of Neptune shall drown, and we know that’s a stand-alone line since it rhymes with crown. Could it perhaps have been talking about a different son of Neptune? When Percy fell into the earth in Seward and then into the sea at the glacier, does that count? If not, what is to become of that prophecy????

Anyways, on to the characters! Starting with Hazel since she’s new. The first time reading this book, I don’t remember much about her except that her backstory totally confused me. Now, though, I think I get it more. I think it’s interesting how Hazel and death are almost their own relationship dynamic. Like the way she’s become so in sync with it, not just because she’s a child of Pluto but because she experienced it firsthand for most of her consciousness. This helped me better understand her blackouts - they’re caused by her trying to be in two places/time periods/realms at the same time. Otherwise, it’s high time we needed a Black protagonist who doesn’t die as soon as they get some favorable airtime (*cough cough BECKENDORF*). Plus the fact that she’s a girl just did it for me. I love her so much - she was my role model as a kid, even if I didn’t exactly understand her. Her relationship with Arion the horse was also so cool for me to watch - it was like she was almost a horse girl, but more badass, and also Black. I did remember that Sammy-her-boyfriend was also Sammy Valdez, so every time she mentioned him it kind of hurt, because he acted exactly like Leo. Anyway.

Frank Zhang has got a lot on his plate. I did not understand his family history at all the first time reading this, and in that respect... nothing has changed. He’s somehow related to Neptune as well as Mars?? The intersection of Chinese and Roman mythology involved so many different names I couldn’t keep them straight, but his shapeshifting power runs in the family and it’s not only rare - it’s unique. So I guess the point was his history made him totally op, so he got a physical, destructable lifeline to hold onto to nerf him so he wouldn’t overthrow the gods themselves. Fair. Grandma Zhang was one of my favorite characters in that book. Just the way she talked, both in his memories and in real life - I loved it. So realistic.

One minor problem with this book - Frazel. Don’t get me wrong, it’s adorable. But the age gap concerns me. It’s not that big, not big enough to be problematic - not like Lukabeth. But that would be like a high school junior dating an eighth grader. .........Weird. I like to pretend Hazel is 14 at least. Maybe Frank is 15, or just turned 16. I dunno. It just kind of makes me feel icky. Otherwise their dynamic was great. I loved how they considered each other friends above all.

I have done my fair share of essays about (the man the myth the legend) Percy himself throughout this series, so I’ll keep this short. But his amnesia was, in a way, more painful than Jason’s to witness as a reader, because we knew the answers. We could fill in the blanks for him. Jason was a clean slate - we knew about as much as he did. But with Percy, it hurt because we just wanted to shout out the answer for him. We just wanted to tell him who he was. It was invigorating to watch him discover it for himself, though. Forge a new self from the pieces he’d forgotten.

Octavian was annoying, but not as annoying as I expected. He’s actually a pretty great villain if you look at him right. He’s got serious potential - he’s crafty and smart, sneaky enough to stab Gwen in the back and calculating enough to know nobody would suspect him. He fascinates me. (The only scenes I really hated him in were the scene where he killed Gwen, because duh, and the scene where he slaughtered the poor pillow pet. Let Percy have a panda, damn. Such a loss.)

Reyna. Oh my god. What a queen. What an absolute legendary iconic queen. She could run me over with her pegasus and I’d thank her. She needs to stop falling for taken guys though. Watching her get her heart broken twice is not gonna be fun next book. (date me instead)

And - oh! I can’t believe I almost forgot about Ella. Easily one of my favorite characters in this series so far. My girl is gorgeous wonderful incredible amazing show-stopping never the same totally unique. Love her to death. Not sure if I liked her romance with Tyson, for no other reason than it just feels kind of forced - at this point you can tell the romance area is being played up a LOT. (Otherwise I wouldn’t think twice about Reyna ending up alone - but because she’s like the only character in the whole series who does, new questions arise.)

The end of this book is about where my memory stops when it comes to this series. Mostly because I didn’t own copies of MOA, HOH or BOO until like last week, so when I tried to reread the books two years ago, I only got up until now before I gave up trying to find them. But I’m really excited to reread these, because I literally have no memory of anything in Mark of Athena besides the traumatizing horrifying gut-wrenching heartbreaking ending.

I ALSO WANNA KNOW WHERE THE HELL NICO IS LIKE SIR??????

#nap binge reads #pjo #hoo #son #percy jackson #son of neptune

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augujerdeer · 4 years

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Im probably faking it but lately i feel like thier are different people in my head. Like some are people from video games but... some arent. They talk by themselves and... have their own thoughts and opinions. They only take control sometimes and i can sometimes communicate with them. They have thier own memories. Some of them were always there?? I learned about did a little while ago so its... sounds similar to it but when they take control i dont really get amnesia (only a bit) and its (1/2)

(2/2)really worrying? Im scared because..i dont know if it's just my PTSD and im just imagining it (they also rarely front without me being a little in control?)I am just worried that im invaliding ppl with DID cause i dont have the amnesia and they dont front for long. Idk how to tell people and i feel alone. I kind of hope i am faking it bc i dont know how to deal with this. Is this valid?Obvi i gotta get it diagonised by a therapist but do u think its possible? Im losing my mind

Hey dude, it’s okay, it’s confusing but you’ll be okay!

We’re not professionals so we don’t have any right to tell you if you’re in a system or not. But we can actually confirm a few things!

It does sound system-y, and I don’t know if it’s validating or not, but we don’t have amnesia! (Well, we do have it but it’s nothing like a blackout.) And when we front, there’s usually always at least one person in the background too! So even if we’re in Full control, we actually call it “Main control”

It’s good you know about DID! But try reading about OSDD1- OSDD10b specifically! OSDD1-a and b are like DID but a bit different- and whether or not you get diagnosed with the other has the same treatment anyway!

Also, it’s 100% okay not to get diagnosed- because it can be scary, and DID/OSDD is really hard to talk about. Some people don’t believe it’s real- or some people think it’s dangerous- but you’re not dangerous! Even without a diagnosis, you’re still a system anyway. For us, we’re unofficially diagnosed, so it’s not on paper

I know it’s scary (I keep sharing that, sorry) but it’ll be okay.. being in a system is A Lot.. but you’ll get through this. For now, think of everyone as a team! You’re gonna be stuck with each other for a long time so.. might as well make the most of it right? I say hello to everyone!

A lot of people in systems may say being in one is only pure suffering and stuff, but I hope you know that eventually, with enough work and understanding, you’ll all be in a place you feel comfortable and happy in.

Here’s some resources we like!:

did-research.org = OSDD1 (A and B), DID in general (please read the whole site! It’s nice for any small questions you have like what amnesia is!)

Another site talking about DID

Watered down version of the difference between DID and OSDD1-A and OSDD1-B:

DID has amnesia, usually- blackouts even- though not everyone does! It might be common for DID systems to have blackouts and lack of communication, but you can improve overtime! Sometimes your diagnosis can change based on your recovery too- but to keep it simple, people boil down DID to having bigger amnesiac walls- so if someone fronts, they might need to take notes on what happened previously

OSDD1-A is commonly described as being similar to DID, except with “less distinct alters”. They’re still real people! I can’t get into it much since we’re not median, but they’re described as usually, median systems. Their alters are also described as being mostly of fragments- or like.. “versions” of who they split from. They have amnesia

OSDD1-B (Thats us!) is similar to DID, but without amnesia- or without large amnesia. They can have very distinct alters but can (not always but) smoothly transition to front without not knowing what just happened. It’s complicated to explain, and yes you can and still have amnesia though. Except instead of pure black outs, you can actually access the memory bank better. Though... this really depends on your recovery process. Also, we like describing it as... “it’s like we traded no amnesia for “collective bad memory””

TLDR

DID: known for larger amnesia between alters

OSDD1-A: has amnesia, less defined/distinguished alters (although they’re still a system of course!)

OSDD1-B: like DID but with less amnesia between alters

Sorry it’s not much, I can’t really speak for DID and OSDD1-A much...

#youre not faking it!#PTSD and DID/OSDD can be comirbid #from peter #headspace #ask #anon #for later

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ardenttheories · 5 years

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Could you do an analysis for Witch of Void and Thief of Hope?

Witch of Void

The Witch of Void is someone who Controls Void, which is Doubt, Confusion, Nothingness, Lies, Hidden Things, the actual Void itself, Indifference and Irrelevance.

Witches have a habit of exerting such control over their Aspect that they just break its rules entirely. They can, in essence, decide that works and what doesn’t, and this makes a Witch of Void a very interesting thing.

In personality, they’d likely be a bit of a connundrum. Void Players tend to be quiet, withdrawn, a little unsure; they seem wholly Unimportant and like to stay that way, and are more than happy to let other people take the stage.

The Witch of Void is not like this. They decide what is and isn’t Irrelevant, what should be Hidden and what should be Seen. They’re vocal and loud; brash and fervent. You WILL look at this thing, but you don’t look at this other thing, no, you won’t even know that it exists.

They like Obscure things, and probably work to try and keep those things purposefully Obscure, because they like the sense of Mystery it brings. Oh, you’ve never heard of this thing? It’s okay, it is pretty rare. You wouldn’t get it if you tried, but they can totally explain it to you - while leaving out all the main details, of course.

They take centre stage and expect to be heard. Of course, they then fade away when they want to be Hidden, and that can make them horrendously annoying. They’re too there and too gone, hard to ignore and then outright impossible to find.

They like to decide which parts of their lives are Hidden and which are in view, and that might not always be what people expect. For instance, they might happily show off that they goddamn adore My Little Pony, but only the really old generations that aren’t as well known anymore, and then Hide away an even bigger love, such as an Obscure anime series or videogame.

They like their own privacy, but then invade others. There’s no Secrets around the Witch of Void, and that can make them very oblivious and sometimes upsetting. They might Reveal something you didn’t want being Known, or might confront you about something you thought you’d kept closely Hidden against your chest. They can come off as very upfront and rude because of it, but it isn’t intentional; they don’t often mean to hurt, and pointing out that they dislike people knowing their own Secrets is likely enough to get them to snap up shut again.

They have the ability to decide what can be Hidden and what must face the Light, what should amount to Nothing and what is allowed Importance. They can turn the most Important in the entire game - such as the Narrative Construct - into absolutely Nothing at all. It would become completely Irrelevant, and as such, would never work - or they would simply hide it away so well that even the most determined of Light Players would never know of its existence.

They can erase the concept of Importance entirely, and replace it with an overarching sense of Irrelevancy. See how Important Vriska is to the storyline that she literally makes Jack Noir? The Witch of Void could completely counteract that by making Jack Noir have no actual effect on the Plot - or even by changing the concept of the Plot altogether.

They’d be able to create Loopholes, Blackouts, missing Plot Pieces, and they’d be able to find them where they already exist. They could Control these things and guide them into something that suitably benefits the Witch - such as by hiding from view a very Important character until it’s completely vital that they appear. They could even use Loopholes to ensure that certain events never come to be, or create them from Nothing just because they damn well said so.

This thing doesn’t make sense? The Witch of Void probably did that. Even the most basic concept could become completely impossible to understand if the Witch gets their hands on it, and they can spin you in circles around it until you just can’t stand to think on it anymore. They can, of course, also use these things that don’t make sense to their benefit; any part of SBURB lore that’s vague is a plaything for Witch, who can fill up those spaces with anything they so desire.

The Witch gets to decide if the Void should be there or not. They get to take it away and replace it with something else, get to fill it up with whatever they desire - and they can even just remove the Void without putting it anywhere else, or fill it up with things that didn’t already exist.

For instance, that cupboard is empty? Not anymore! Now it’s filled with berries! Where did the berries come from? Nowhere! They just exist now!

On a more serious note, though, this means that Witches of Void can fill Voids in the plot with anything they want. If there’s a Plothole that’s completely Irrelevant and has no effect on the Plot as a whole, they can just… take it away. They can get rid of anything relating to the Plothole entirely - such as by erasing the confusion over the Alpha Trolls’ whereabouts by erasing them from the story - or they can fill it in with something so Important it’ll blindside you - such as by revealling that actually the Alpha Trolls were the key to defeating LE all along.

They can conjure things out of thin air and Hide them away just as quickly, quite literally from nothing - and might even have the ability to Alchemise without using any Grist as a basis.

Hell, if we go far enough, a Witch of Void can screw up the entire concept of Alchemy altogether. You can’t grab “Nothing” and turn it into “something” - you have to convert that one thing into something else, like a sort of sacrifice - but the Witch of Void quite literally can. They can ignore this very basic law entirely and just make things without having to sacrifice anything in the process.

They can walk through the Void with ease, and traverse even the most Unknown paths as if they were paved out clear as day, like a map just exists in their mind of anything that’s Hidden. In fact, nothing is truly Hidden from them at all; Lies and Truths are clear as day to them, so long as they actually feel like focusing on them - and they can make sure that some Lies or Truths stay completely Irrelevant if that’s what benefits them best.

Of course, they can cause huge Blackouts, too - like most Void Players, except with actual purpose. It’d be like a giant ink splot over the Timeline; nobody would be able to see in it, even if the Witch was never there for the event itself. People might even just forget that the event happened at all, as if they suffered from acute amnesia. Their memories would either skip right over it or have a definite hole that they can’t dig into no matter how hard they try.

If it was a person or thing that they wanted to Blackout then it would remain unseen long after the Witch is gone - as long as they needed it to be Irrelevant and unseen.

Maybe that would mean that it physically LOOKS like a void - like you’d covered it in the blackest black known to man, and it just looks like a giant hole - and maybe that would mean a Players eyes just can’t comprehend it - that they see it, but they don’t register that it exists.

When they become Realised, there’s nothing they can’t do. While a lot of their initial powers would be pretty harmless and basic - like just being Really Good at finding hidden things or just Arguing A Lot against what Nothingness and Irrelevancy means - all the things I stated above would come into play pretty much as soon as they Godtier.

They’d become much more responsible. Whereas before they were brash and loud, bursting through like a bulldozer and then sinking back into the shadows as they pleased, the Realised Witch of Void would slowly come to understand that there’s a time and a place for everything.

They’d become a little more calculating, a little softer. They’d still hold that bright, out-there personality at times, but they’d be a little more somber and quiet. They might be so quiet at times that you even forget they’re in the room, and come off towards the end of the journey as a little shy and reserved.

In truth, they’re just watching and waiting. Void Players can be patient when they need to be, and the Witch of Void will eventually come to understand that. It won’t be a complete 180, but it will be evident enough that they’ve grown, matured, and realised that there’s just a certain way to act that isn’t totally out there.

Still a bit of a hipster douche, though. Just a little less blunt about it.

Thief of Hope

The Thief of Hope is someone who Steals Hope for their own benefit, which is Positivity, Belief, Acceptance, Naivety/Gullibility, Euphoria, and the idea of a Stubborn Yes.

Thieves tend to genuinely Lack their Aspect. They’re one of the few Classes that really does suffer from an inate void of their Aspect from the get-go, and their Stealing ways often stems from a desperation to fill this void. They also tend to represent what their session has too much of, so they act as a sort of balancing feature for the people around them.

Thieves of Hope, therefore, tend to suffer a lack of Hope. Deep inside, they are likely terrified and unsure, incapable of Believing in anything - most of all themselves - and suffer from a deep-seated Doubt of anything or anyone around them. They think they’re wrong, that everything is wrong, that there’s this innate wrongness about their very existence - and they desperately try to escape that by stealing the Positivity and Belief from other people.

You can imagine them as a sort of amalgamation of sorts. They snatch up bits and pieces of Belief from other people and make it their own, likely turning it into something entirely new or using it to emphasise their own Beliefs more. They might have a very specific ideology that they focus on, and Steal the core concepts of others to belittle anything that goes against their Belief, simultaneously powering it.

They Steal the Euphoria people feel in various situations to gain that sense of Wonder for themself, siphoning it into the things they feel like they should enjoy. I guess in a way you can imagine that a Thief of Hope would steal the high someone gets from doing something like mild drugs (such as weed) or adrenaline-fuelled sports and use it to power themselves forward. They may even become a little reliant on it, because the crash that they feel when all of the good feelings are gone would be… catastrophic.

That said, they would be boundless and filled with Optimism. Nothing could get them down, not even a little bit, and they would be horrifically stubborn. They just wouldn’t listen if something went against their way of thinking, and they’d Steal the Belief of the person they’re talking to in order to ensure that their way of thinking can’t be questioned. It’s their way or the highway, and they expect people to listen.

They might also be a little… narcassistic. They’re so overly confident in their own powers and abilities and fuelled by Positive thinking and feelings that they might overdo it a bit. After all, nothing ever seems to go wrong when they’re around (because they Steal everything good from their enemies), so clearly that means nothing will EVER go wrong!

The lack they feel also means that they just desperately want to feel loved and validated. They might take this to mean that they have to be the bestest buddy ever with everyone, or it might mean that they want to be elevated to god-like status. They want to be worshiped because that’s the absolute opposite of how they feel when they’re not on their Hope high - and they are incredibly powerful, so they deserve it, anyway.

Naturally, Stealing Hope means a lot of things.

They can Steal the Belief from something or something, rendering them useless; a highly cherished and worshipped object would have no actual power, even if it originally did, and mircles surrounding it would cease to exist. A worshipped figure would fall out of favour, and people would begin to Doubt them even though there’s no evidence to suggest that they’re wrong - be that a person of value in a community, a religious figure, or a well-loved scientist.

In turn, the Thief would take all that Belief and Reality for themselves. Everything they think and Believe in would magically come true, further validating the idea that they’re Right while everyone else is Wrong. They create their own fantasy and build it up with what they Steal, until it becomes Genuine and True.

This can, of course, be very bad. For instance, if they don’t Believe that Quest Beds work… then nobody will be able to Godtier at all. They’d literally Steal that Reality and make it False - and when someone died on the Quest Bed and didn’t revive on Skaia, they’d just take that as confirmation that they were Right (because they must naturally always be Right).

In fact, they can probably steal Rightness from people, too. If they are Right, then someone else must be Wrong - which would probably infuriate Light Players who know they’re Right, have evidence that they’re Right, have seen that they’re Right, and then suddenly the Thief shows up and they’re Wrong.

They can Steal the Positivity from people, leaving behind Fear and Anger and Doubt, while making themselves feel absolutely Wonderful. The Thief could literally make themself high on feelings, on good vibes, and go headlong into danger because Nothing Can Get Them Down! Of course, the fact that their enemies are now terrified of them helps - some may even be completely frozen in fear.

This can, of course, be used for good. If their foes start to question and Doubt themselves, their role in life, their actions and abilities, then taking them down gets much easier. If something was dangerous and Real - such as the Black King literally just starting the Reckoning - then the Thief can Steal that to make sure it’s not - thereby, for instance, making it so that the Black King’s unable to use the White King’s scepter.

To become Realised, the Thief of Hope has to accept that they can’t just blindly Steal things. They have to come down from that high eventually, to let go of their overzealous Confidence. It’ll be hard, and it’ll actively go against everything they Believe in - and, honestly, this is the Thief that will struggle with this transition most - but they must eventually give in.

Reality is harsh and it sucks, and they’re still allowed to change it, but they have to simmer down a little. Let their allies keep some Hope, let them Believe in things and let go of that chokehold around their own fervent Beliefs, and allow other people to feel Confident. It’s all well and good for the Thief to feel Brave if literally all of their allies have to struggle with Fear as a result.

On top of that, they have to accept that lack within them. They need to recognise that it isn’t a bad thing, that their fears are unwarranted, that they can get to that point without Stealing absolutely everything they can get their hands on.

In other words, instead of Stealing the Belief that everything is okay, they have to actually Believe it. They have to recognise that some of their Belief has to come from within, that they have to make it feel Real, without using their powers to MAKE it real. Once they do that, they’ll be much happier as people, much calmer, and much more likely to only Steal what needs to be Stolen.

#Anonymous #long post//#witch of void #thief of hope #classpect analysis #ardenttheories

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