#and when she was like paul what the fuck im not going dogging with you

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

i love my mom because sometimes she'll just casually say "me and your dad went swinging" and upon seeing the confusion on my face, she'll ask "haven't i ever told you about the time me and your dad accidentally went swinging?"

anyway, my parents accidentally went swinging one time.

#personal #kai rambles #i have learned a lot of stuff about my parents today #its honestly not that shocking #like i already know about the time my moms friend who was married asked her to go out for drinks and then took her dogging #and when she was like paul what the fuck im not going dogging with you #he drove away and then took her to a different dogging site dhsjdjwjd #paul was also a paraplegic athlete #idk if he was like paralympic level but he was like pretty prestigious #so like she accidentally/non-willingly went dogging #finding out she accidentally went swinging is not shocking at al #my dad used the '''oh i got a phone call we have to leave'' excuse but cell phones werent a thing yet #so instead he was like oh we got one at the phone on the motorway? #and this was like after theyd gone through the ''leave your keys in the bowl'' ''...leave our keys in the bowl?'' gig

[lxclerc]

𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ─ 𝐨𝐛𝟑𝟖

summary: when max verstappen’s adopted little sister starts soft launching, the whole grid launches an investigation on who it might be

pairing: ollie bearman x f2 driver! max verstappen’s adopted sister! reader

faceclaim: no one in particular

note: i accidentally published this before it was finish so now i’ve completely lost the request but anyways the request really was just about max being reader’s grid dad but i ran with it a little

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ twitter

.ೃ࿐ yourusername posted on her story!

landonorris replied to your story: it’s like you have a death wish

yourusername: shut up

landonorris: rest in peace to the unlucky guy 🫡

arthur_leclerc replied to your story: soft launching knowing mad max is your warden is insaneee

yourusername: i just got that dog in me ig

arthur_leclerc: never ever say that again

paularon_ replied to your story: so long, ollie. it was good knowing you, mate ✊

yourusername: so dramatic for no reason

maxverstappen1 replied to your story: that better be just be some stranger you picked up on the side of the road to tie your shoelaces and not a boy you went around japan with when you told me you were only going out with your team

yourusername: remember that you love and adore me and i am 17 years old and can make my own decisions

maxverstappen1: nice try. who is he?

yourusername: no ❤️

ੈ✩‧₊˚ messages

ੈ✩‧₊˚ instagram

liked by olliebearman, maxverstappen1, paularon_ and others

yourusername suzuka, youve been very nice to me 🫶

view all comments…

user1 the way she ran to max’s arms after the podium 🥹

user2 a red bull girl with her red bull dad

user3 so we’re not going to talk about the 3rd pic?

maxverstappen1 who is he and why are you going on dates without telling anyone? what if something happens to you and no one knows where you are or who you’re with?

↳ yourusername calm down, we were with the team 🙄

↳ user4 overprotective dad max is so adorable i cant lie

↳ user5 if they were with the team, does that mean the guy’s also part of the team? another driver maybe?

↳ user6 user5 youre onto something

victoriaverstappen je bent geweldig, mijn meisje. blijf stralen ❤️ (you are amazing, my girl. keep on shining.)

↳ yourusername ik hou zielsveel van je, v 💕 (i love and adore you to bits, v)

paularon_ congrats or whatever

↳ yourusername jealousy doesnt suit you

↳ paularon_ nvm fck u 💕

arthur_leclerc stop winning

↳ yourusername get a seat first ❤️

olliebearman congratulations, yn! another trophy to bring home ❤️

↳ yourusername thank you, ollie!

use7 the difference between paul and arthur then ollie bye i love their friendship 😭

landonorris girlll who is heeeee

↳ yourusername no ❤️

↳ charles_leclerc come on, at least give us a clue

↳ carlossainz55 is he also a driver? what team does he driver for?

↳ yourusername yall are grown ass men way too interested in a teenager’s love life. absorb some sunlight

↳ user8 she gagged yall im afraid 😭

ੈ✩‧₊˚ messages

ੈ✩‧₊˚ instagram

liked by olliebearman, paularon_, arthur_leclerc and others

yourusername hello, lover ❤️

view all comments…

olliebearman my girl ❤️❤️

olliebearman love you to the moon and to saturn 💫

↳ yourusername buzz lightyear’s got nothing on us frfr

↳ arthur_leclerc why can’t you be normal?

↳ yourusername ollie loves me with all the weirdness and shit

↳ olliebearman yeah that’s about right

↳ arthur_leclerc 🤮🤮

↳ user1 arthur is your regular third wheel bff

paularon_ ollie’s trying to keep his cool in the comments but he’s red as a tomato

↳ olliebearman shut the hell up no im not

↳ yourusername youre not? 🥹

↳ olliebearman i mean of course i am got me giggling and shit too

↳ paularon_ you’re both disgusting

user2 arthur and paul are so over them 😭

user3 i fucking knew the back of that head was familiar!!!!

user4 oh? OH!

user5 idk what hurts more. the fact that i no longer have a chance with ollie or the fact that i no longer have a chance with yn

user6 waiting for max’s comment

maxverstappen1 you better watch it the next time you step in for either carlos or charles, bearman 🙂

↳ yourusername you promised

↳ maxverstappen1 i promise i’ll carve charles’ appendix out myself so ollie and i can face each other on track man to man

↳ olliebearman i- sir?

↳ charles_leclerc mate, what the fuck did i do to you

↳ yourusername maxie come on. you promised me you’d be nice

↳ maxverstappen1 fine 🙄

maxverstappen1 dinner’s at 8 on tuesday. don’t be late

↳ olliebearman yes, sir 🫡

user7 not charles getting dragged into it 😭😭

↳ user8 max is just completely unable to go through a conversation without mentioning charles ♡ liked by yourusername

liked by victoriaverstappen, olliebearman and others

yourusername it was truly unfortunate for max to find out that his cat is also now in love with ollie

view all comments…

user1 omg sophie and victoria also joined the dinner 😭

↳ user2 girlie really introduced her to the whole family

↳ yourusername well actually max invited them along to try and intimidate ollie but jokes on him, they loved him

↳ user3 yn and ollie to max when vic and sophie ended up loving ollie: oh how the turntables

maxverstappen1 sassy is NOT in love with a ferrari driver

↳ yourusername one thing you, sassy and i have in common with

↳ user4 yn truly is just a lestappen truther

olliebearman sassy 🫶

↳ yourusername oh i guess ill just die then

↳ olliebearman my love beautiful angel girlfriend yn ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

↳ yourusername better

↳ arthur_leclerc did you just get jealous over a cat?

↳ yourusername did you really just lose your seat?

↳ yourusername it’ll get old when you get your seat back

↳ arthur_leclerc that’s getting old 🙄

user5 each and every day, arthur tries to come for yn’s neck and each and every day, yn gags him

paularon_ olliebearman in a scale of 1-10, how scary is it to face mad max head on?

↳ olliebearman just peachy 👍 (i nearly shat my pants)

charles_leclerc does this mean that max’s promise is null and void?

↳ maxverstappen1 none of you figured out who it is 🤷

↳ yourusername what promise?

↳ maxverstappen1 ….nothing

landonorris i can’t believe we didn’t figure out it’d be bearman

↳ george_russell it seems so obvious now

↳ alex_albon i asked him straight on and he lied to my face

↳ olliebearman i was terrified max would find a way to run me over with his rocketship if i even dare utter it

↳ alex_albon yk what absolutely valid

also this turned out wayy longer than i meant it to which is why it took so long.

#ollie bearman #ollie bearman x reader #ollie bearman fluff #ollie bearman smau #formula 2 #formula 1 #f1 #max verstappen #f2 #f2 x reader

[topguncortez]

Congratulations on 3k!!! Could i request hangman and "im just glad youre okay"? Congrats again!!

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Shy!Wifey warnings: this is a bit dark. . . mentions of break ins, blood, hiding, fear, guns, swearing, happy ending tho:) Hangman Masterlist | Opposites Attract Masterlist Main Masterlist 3 fucking K celebration

"There's been a series of break-ins in the Sunset Hills neighborhood, which has residents on alert. Channel 10 news is-"

Jake clicked the tv off and Y/N gasped, looking over her shoulder and seeing her husband standing there, his arms folded across his chest.

"Hi," She smiled sheepishly.

"Hi yourself," He answered, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just watching the news," Y/N pushed herself up from her spot on the couch. She walked to her husband and draped her arms around his neck, "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"I told you to quit reading into all that stuff. You're not sleeping."

Y/N sighed, she had been caught yet again. Ever since the first break in about two months ago, she had been on high alert and respectfully so. Although the chief of police told the neighborhood that no one was in danger, Y/N still felt unsafe every time she'd go to bed at night. The thieves weren't robbing houses if the occupants were home. They weren't hurting anyone or anything, but were stealing thousands of dollars and destroying property.

"I have a right to know what's going on, Jake!" Y/N argued, "I need to know what to look for incase-"

"That's not going to happen, alright," Jake said, and put his hands on her hips, "We have the best security that money can buy. Every window is armed, every door to the house is armed. Plus, we have Bucky and Steve." Jake gestured to one of the German shepherds that they owned, who was asleep at Y/N's feet. Steve was more than likely sleeping by Alex's feet.

"It still doesn't help me sleep at night," She mumbled, "But it brings me some comfort."

"I know baby, it's scary, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you or my family. Understand?" Jake asked and Y/N nodded, "Now, let's go back to bed. I have like. . . three more hours of shut-eye."

--- --- ---

Dinner at the Seresin house was always chaotic, especially when Jake wasn't there to help. It was just Y/N trying to get Alex and Ella ready for dinner. Life was hard with two toddlers, especially now that Ella started walking. It seemed like every time Y/N turned her back, Ella was pulling something to the ground or sticking something in her mouth.

Jake had texted her and told her that she was going to be late, which made her frown as she sat at the dinner table, a child on either side of her. Alex was good about feeding himself, and Ella liked to throw scraps on the floor for the dogs.

"Ella, stop feeding Bucky and Steve," Y/N scolded the little girl, who just gave her a smile before throwing yet another piece of food on the floor, "Oh you are going to be so much like your father."

"Dada!" Ella exclaimed and clapped her hands together.

"Mommy, can I have ice cream?" Alex asked and Y/N looked at her little boy who had spaghetti sauce all over his face.

"Not tonight baby, it's bath and bed," Y/N said and Alex nodded.

The sun was already down, and it sent a shiver up Y/N's spine as she carried her daughter up the stairs, Alex going in front of her. She made sure all the doors were locked as soon as she came home. She also left her car in the driveway, alerting whoever might be lurking that she is home. Jake had asked their neighbor, Paul, a retired Admiral to keep an eye on the house when he wasn't home.

Once the kids were bathed and put in their pajamas, Y/N put them to bed in her room. She had texted Jake again asking where he was, but he said he was trying to get home as soon as possible. Him and Rooster were way behind on reports. Y/N sighed as she rubbed Ella's belly as she drank a bottle before bed. She read the kids a bedtime story. When she was done, she put Ella in her pack-in play and turned the lamp off. Alex snuggled up to her, and put his thumb in his mouth, his bad habit that Y/N and Jake tried to break.

Bucky laid on the floor at the foot of the bed, while Steve laid on the bed, their heads up and turned towards the door, waiting for their other owner to return home. Neither one never truly went to sleep until all of their humans were home and in their shared bed, with them curled up at their feet. Dogs were smart, and Bucky and Steve had figured there was something changing with Y/N, and had spent more time connected to her and watching over her. Bucky let out a sigh, and lowered his head to rest in between his two front paws, eyes never leaving the door.

Sleep didn't come easy to anyone in the bedroom, but once Y/N heard Ella stop fussing and turning, she finally rested a bit, still holding on to Alex. The sound of smashing glass had Y/N, Bucky and Steve up in an instant. Y/N gasped and looked around the room. Steve had jumped down and stared at the door, as he was anticipating someone or something. Bucky had gotten up too, and moved over to Ella's bed, standing protectively. Y/N jumped out of bed, grabbing your phone and holding a sleeping Alex to her chest.

She looked around the room, and went to the bathroom attached to their room. Alex woke up a bit at the jostling of his body and groaned in his sleep. His green eyes opened up to see Y/N in a panic set him down on the hard tile of the bathtub.

"Mom-"

"Shh," Y/N shushed him and grabbed a blanket, "Cover your head, be quiet." Alex nodded, too scared to say anything. She then went to the pack-in play and reached in, grabbing Ella, when she heard footsteps and voices. Steve growled and Y/N shushed him. She rushed to the closet and set Ella down with her brother.

"Hold on to Ella," Y/N told Alex and he nodded, taking Ella into his arms. Luckily, the little girl was a heavy sleepier and was still asleep. She turned the lock, and shut the door, locking the kids inside. Y/N felt her heart racing as she grabbed the pairing knife she kept underneath the mattress. She dialed 9-1-1 and held the phone to her ear as the footsteps got closer.

“I’m armed and calling 9-1-1!” Y/N yelled, hoping to scare off whoever was in her house. Bucky had moved over to the bathroom door, while Steve was still pointed at the door. Y/N moved and ran to her bedroom closet, hiding inside.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“H-hi, I think someone just broke into my house," She whispered, "I-I have kids with me."

"Ma'am, someone has already called it in, and a unit is on the way. Where are you located?"

"My kids are in the bathroom, I locked it. I'm hiding in the closet. My dogs are in the room."

"Are you armed?"

Y/N looked down at the knife in her head and let out a shaky breath, "Yes. But please hurry I think-"

Her words got cut off by the bedroom door opening and the dogs barking. Y/N clamped her hand over her mouth as she dropped the phone and held onto the knife tightly, ready to use it if needed.

--- --- ---

Jake’s eyes were straining as he drove home on the dark streets. Everything was closed, and the only thing illuminating the night sky were the street lights. He was hoping to be home earlier than two in the morning, but time had slipped past Rooster and him. Jake had to finally call it quits and go home to his family. He had been away from them all day, and his body was starting to shut down.

Except when Jake turned the corner to his street, he was met with the bright flashing lights of cop cars and ambulances. He felt bile rise in his stomach as he parked his truck, and jumped out, running towards the crowd of onlookers in their bathrobes and pajamas. The closer he got to the scene the more he recognized the cops walking around his house. He felt bile rise in his throat as he ran to the police barricade.

"Sir, you can't go through," An officer said, stopping Jake from pushing through the yellow tape.

"That's my house!" Jake yelled, pointing at the house, "That's my family!"

"Sir, it is an active crime scene," The officer said and Jake felt his knees go weak. He looked around the scene, running a hand down his face as he spotted his kids sitting in the back of an ambulance. Jake pushed his way through, despite the various officers trying to hold him back.

"Sir!" An officer grabbed him as Jake approached his kids.

"Daddy!" Alex yelled.

"Those are my kids! Those are my fucking kids!" Jake yelled, fighting against the cops hold.

"Let him go," Another cop said, and Jake was freed from the constraint. He ran straight for Alex and hugged him.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, and looked over his son and then at the medic who was holding his daughter.

"They are both fine, sir," The medic said and handed Ella to Jake. He held his daughter tightly and placed a kiss on the top of her head, drinking in the familiar scent of her baby shampoo.

"My wife?" Jake asked, "W-where is she?"

"They took her to the Memorial, just to get some of her injuries checked out," The medic answered and Jake felt his heart stop. Alex tugged at his hand and Jake looked at his son.

"The police officer said mommy's a hero," Alex said and Jake nodded.

"Yeah, she is," Jake said, "Come on, let's go find her."

The hospital was nearly empty as Jake walked through the door, Ella on his hip and Alex holding his hand. A nurse directed him to where he could find his wife's room at. Jake was expecting the worse, as he walked down the hall towards her room. An older nurse was staying with the kids in the lobby. Jake didn't want to scar them by seeing their mother in a bad condition.

But when Jake opened the door to her room, he was met with the sight of her practically unharmed. Her face was turned away from the door, and she looked to be sleeping peacefully. He couldn't see any injury from that far away, but the closer he got, the more he could see.

"Sweets?" Jake called out softly. Y/N jumped a bit and then turned to look at her husband. His heart fell into his stomach as he saw her bruised face, "Oh my god."

"Cops said I put up one hell of a fight," She smiled, her busted lip cracking. Jake gently touched her face. Her nose was broken and was displaying a magnificent purple and blue bruise underneath her eyes. Her eyebrow had been cut and stitched up as well.

"I am so sorry," Jake sniffled, "I should've been home. I should've-"

"So you can look like this too?" Y/N asked and Jake shook his head, "We are okay. A little shaken up, but they caught the guys doing all this. No one got hurt, no one is seriously injured. We are okay."

Jake nodded and ran his thumb over her cheek bone, "I'm just glad you're okay."

"I am too," Y/N said, "I love you Jake."

"I love you too," Jake kissed her forehead.

#top gun #top gun fan fic #top gun fan fiction #top gun imagine #top gun maverick #top gun maverick imagine #top gun maverick fan fic #top gun maverick fan fiction #Jake seresin #Jake Seresin fan fic #Jake Seresin fan fiction #Jake Seresin imagine #Jake Seresin x reader #Jake Seresin x you #Jake Seresin x y/n #Jake Seresin x shy!wifey #Jake hangman seresin #hangman seresin #hangman fan fic #hangman fan fiction #hangman imagine #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman x y/n

[terranceholdsapencil]

Okay I watched the devils chord now so some thoughts and moments under the cut

S14e03 "the devil's chord" doctor who spoilers

-knocking from inside a piano after someone played a tritone is actually the coolest fucking entrance

-"Henry, get away from him" "Them." "What" "Me." "What." "Im - them" "Youre who?" "YOure who"

-"But its SOOO SAAAAAD, TIMOTYYYY"

Half of this is actually just the way maestro says things it DOES something to me

-NEW DOCTOR WHO INTRO MUSIC VARIANT!!!

ANd its playing on the JUKEBOX

-"that. is. AMAZING!" "OH WAIT SERIOUSLY?" "OOUHH! PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THE TITANIC! OR MARS! OR BETLEHEM!! But the BEATLEEEEEEES! WhY have I never done thAt before?"

-the way theyre walking around the tardis after changing. California soul in the background. Im in love theyre having so much fun.

-"nineteen sixty thrEEHEHEHEY!"

-fun and humming conga line music on a zebra crossing. Im in LOVE

-"How do we get in? Wont they ask who we are?" "ngE"

-the way 15 and ruby giggle.

-"Ive got a dog and hes called fred"

-"You take John Lennon Ill take Paul McCartney"

-susan mentioned. One referenced. I miss them. Also susan is not dead. I dont care if she never turns up again. She is not dead because I said so.

-something about the way 15 leans on the wall and looks at the city while ruby plays

-the orchestra tuning in on her playing after a while. Maybe its cause Im so happy theres new doctor who but I got goosebumps

-the arpeggio giggle oh my god I LOVE IT

-the tuning fork??? Even ignoring the gorgeous outfit the TUNING FORK???

-at this point I wanted to look if there was a german dub (cause thats my native language). There wasnt. But there was a czech dub, and Im half czech. So I turned that on for a second. And let me tell you, Maestros voics in the czech dub?? Once again. I am IN LOVE.

-sincr when can the sonic just turn off sound

-the workaround with the water was actually great

-i couldnt take "i dont know, Ruby, that is the point, I dont. know." "BUT YOU ALWAYS KNOW-" "I DONT. " seriously cause ruby basically just met him. And literally just last ep he didnt know things. This moment doesnt hit because the first part doesnt ring true yet. I think thats my general problem?? I LOVE ruby and 15 but theyre so familiar and close and stuff but theyve known each other for a VERY SHORT real time, considering this ep supposedly comes directly after the last and the last literally starts directly after she entered the tardis.

-"i was born in 2004" that feels fake cause my best friend was born in 2004. Theres no way youre only 2 years older and youre a doctor who companion and Im just a sad dude

-i will be honest I was very much very disappointed by the fact we actually got to see the destroyed future. I totally expected she comes back in crying or something and we have to fill in the gap. Instead we see cgi broken london. BUT that allowed for maestros fucking iconic entrance with the shoe shot so I am not mad

-maestro being the toymakers child works surprisingly well thats lots of fun

-the way maestro lay on the piano? Iconic. Absolutely iconic. I love them. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Camp af. Fun. Pure. I-co-nic.

-more maestro saying things in the greatest fucking way possible:

-"Im going sOlO. :D"

THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSION??

-"A gEnius 💁"

-"I sAid gEniuSss. And you might be brIght. And hot. And... (dun-dun-dun) timey-wImey"

That totally got me I replayed this like 10 times instead of continueing to watch the ep. I can only repeat myself: In. Love.

-tardis with the lights out?? GORGEOUS. My eyes have been blessed. Beautiful. I love her so much shes my everything.

-"Im sorry im sorry *kiss kiss*. Dont hate me"

the way he apologises to her tardis and the doctor forever

-when they got out of the tardis he said something in a different language. The subtitles say its turkish. Does anyone know what he said?

-"I thought that was non-diegetic"

First: iconic that the score was actually heard in universe. Love it. Great idea. You totally get me with that.

Secondly: does that line imply the doctor always hears the score? Cause he said HE thought it was non-diegetic. Does he hear his own themes? Does it ruin emotional moments? If hes doing a speech does it distract him?

-"Playing love-sick sOngs for heartbroken lesbians, and thAt just makes me hungry for all those delicious songs"

-they had a music battle. They had a music battle with personified music and basically won. Not only that. Personified music actually said the words "mUsic bAttle". So stupid. Maybe I love it.

-no matter what I think of the idea of a music battle with personified music, the actual music battle was so much fun to watch. I loved it. Im gonna rewatch it.

-"Ive experienced everything"

No you havent thats the point. Im actually mad at that line. No he hasnt. The reason he travels is to find whatever he hasnt experienced yet. Literally JUST LAST EP he was completely baffled by the space babies and the bogeyman. This ep he was overwhelmed by the stolen music. He has experience ALOT, possibly more than anyone before him, but not everything. Never everything.

-honestly i think its rude to call this a beatles episode when they were basically not in it at all. Ian listened to the beatles back in classic who and they looked at a concert and the presence of the beatles in that episode is almost bigger to me than them in this ep.

-the musical number at the end. So stupid. So silly. I love it. Thats insane. But fun. But stupid. But fun. Also hello Henry Arbinger looking at the musical number

-was the rain during the musical number for real? Where'd it come from?? They were INSIDE. Was that just for the fun time? Because the snow in space babies was important.

-the zebra crossing making music. Im in love. I wanna. I want to dance on it too. So much fun. The stripes are even glowing.

#doctor who #doctor who thoughts #doctor who spoilers

[oetscop]

hmmm another. interesting petscop thought. i really need to just write a character analysis eventually even tho im still working on the logbook thing. whatever lol

ive noticed rainer had a sort of victim complex? obviously hes a victim in a sense, he was dragged into all of this in a pretty terrible way. hes older than paul and belle but like...he was probably still relatively young during all of this. i believe marvin absolutely had something to do with mike (and probably the dog) being hit by a car. its HEAVILY implied lina couldve also been struck (the wheel that points to the house is right above her grave iirc. i lost the source tho) so like. yeah you can imagine hes going through some shit. i fully believe that marvin also roped him into the whole rebirthing thing which ill get into eventually

point is, rainer is absolutely a victim to some degree. but what i find interesting is that he almost seems to avoid being to blame for things hes absolutely at fault for to some degree, and he even admits that himself!

prime example of this. he fucked up, but thats not the issue.

BELLE fucked up. belle is the only one at fault, simply because shes Not Rainer.

how could she have possibly "given up?" weve seen the whole process within the game. kid goes in, music plays, egg comes out. all they have to do is sit there. but even after playing the music wrong, he cant possibly be at fault. hell, he even throws "now im gone" at the end just to rub salt in the wound. was this written when he went missing? was it written when he died? whatever it was, his intentions are just as clear as they are when he chose where to kill himself.

and i think it draws an interesting link between him and Paul, too. we already have paul "running away" in a sense. just getting in the car a fucking off for a while, going multiple videos without talking. the channel owners even mentioning that hes been silent. BUT hes also doing that thing he does where hes trying to convince himself that whatever is happening isnt actually tied to him in some way. the vase being something the game could put in any room in the child library for example.

theyre both forms of self preservation, if you think about it. theyre both in denial. belles rebirthing failed because of her, not rainer. it cant possible be his fault. the game isnt alluding to paul intentionally, its just a thousand coincidences.

#tongue #petscop #im not proofreading dis ^w^ #im lazy

[burntheworldtwice]

Live Thoughts on The Last Voyage of Demeter (Spoilers)

So I know very little of this movie outside the plot. I know it is much anticipated. Reviews are decent. But I didn't want some critic tainting my opinion you know? So I smoked a bowl, made a broke girls charcuterie, and am diving in.

-First of all who doesn't love a good Dracula tale?

-This is moody. Love that. Definitely recommend being in the dark by a fire if possible. its giving Victorian child and I personally am a victorian child so this is just swell

-I wish we still rode horses. Its a power move. Cop pulls up in a car ugh boring cop GALLOPS up on a horse. Mad respect.

-OMG its the guy who went after Oppenheimer for that shit senator. What's his name......David Dastmalchian. Im sorry hold the phone. DASTMALCHIAN is his dad Machiavelli. I'll be honest y'all im not a fan of his face. He looks weasly and honestly a bit threatening but that may just be the roles I've seen.

-Corey Hawkins out here showing LOOKS. Saving LIVES. CHILD LIVES. What. A. Gem.

-Whats in the box? WHATS in the box? WHATS IN THE BOOOOOX?!

-Why must children be so enthusiastic? So young and full of hope. Even on a fucking Russian ship in the 19th century.

-This cheese is really fucking good.

-Awe isn't this cute. "Crew in high spirits". Dancing around and shit. Did you know that many sailors were gay and that's why everyone thinks the Navy is a bunch of pussies. The more you know :)

-Is that Aaron Paul? LOL

-This really is pretty I must say. And the use of sound is just **Chefs kiss** I love when a movie employs sound as a means of expression.

-She needs a transfusion who's fucking blood is heh using is that his blood? The count is awake! yipeeee.

-I really need to watch some BTS for this. A lot of CGI and sets. Like did they do it Life of Pie style. I'll have to goole that..

-Ruh row. Bats outta the cage. NOT THE FUCKING DOG WHYYYYY KILL THE KID. Ugh why is it always the dog :((((

-HUUUCCKKKK

-Rabies? Men are so simple minded.

-Damn Drac is not looking good. Like worse than Voldy pre cauldron sesh.

-This kid is really taking on some emotional trauma. And little Woody Newman is just a cutie. He reminds of Gavauche (idk if that's spelled right) in Les Mis.

-"A boat without rats such is a thing against nature." That's a tattoo right thurr

-I am LOOOOVING the horror. The gore is so well done. Beautiful like Saving Private Ryan... If youre into blood..

-I could listen to Liam Cunningham read a Ikea instructions manual.

-I don't know if its intentional or not but I can't figure out the timeline of this movie. They mention a cove and it being over two weeks to England. But I can't tell how the time is passing. Could also be high but hey who knows.

-I know Rotten Tomatoes poopood this but I'm having fun and Draculas a dick lmao mimicking his victims. Damn bitch. Oh good strings. I love a good horror

-Why do we find it so hard to believe in things we can't understand? I realize the human brain seeks answers and solutions rather than more questions, but what if the answers and solutions are right there we just refuse to believe it?

-LMAO "I have a very important job for. you Toby. It's a lot to take on, can you handle it?" Hands over a spyglass. "Will you shine my shit for me dude?" I was talking to my wife about this but like I don't remember ever being this curious as a kid. Like demons on board? Nah Im staying in my room. Meanwhile this kid just wandering around the belly of ship.

-RUN TOBY RUN

-He got a knife. Tough kid here.

-Wow he's going full Jack Torrance with the door here. But who needs an axe when you have your face???

-NOT TOBY. Like I know everyone dies and all but damn. Also can Dracula apparate. Or is it like AS IF YOU COULD OUT RUN ME. Im a little behind on my Dracula lore. Oh he might live with these backwoods infusions.

-Okay I just haven't paid attention on the captains log. My B.

-Olgarin was bit... and infected? But Anne and Toby were fed on... and aren't? I'm going to have to think about that. Going up in flames was a fun drama though!

-I feel like maybe don't open the spooky box. And this man just rowing out to sea blindly believing in his faith. Did the Prince of Darkness fly out there? or. Yep. He a winged mother fucker.

-I like Dracula just whispering sweet nothings before he feeds.

-Are his burns not fucking horrifically painful? Im in pain looking at him. I know burns and that shit sucks for forever.

-Can Dracula manipulate the weather? I feel like I really need to brush up on my Dracula now. Foggy as hell. Dracula knew yawls plan come on.

-Women always out here making the greatest sacrifices.

-Why is Dracula synonymous with the devil? I like to think of Dracula like Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

-THe smothering with the wings was like kinda dope. Won't lie.

-I'm so glad they're trauma bonded now.

-I think I would of made a great light house keeper. Chill up in the rain by a fire. Watch the ships. Ambient lighting. My kinda gig to be frank.

-That ending sunrise. Wow. Almost poetic.

-NONONONONOOOO please tell me there's not going to be a sequel. Please dear god just let it end.

-Fuck.

#the last voyage of demeter #movie thoughts #livemovie #my commentary #movie recommendation #moviereviews

[jae-daddy]

Duff (7)

im jaebum au series

one / two / three / four / five / six /  seven / eight / nine masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader  genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO!  plot: you are the duff and guys use you to get close to your best friend, Heather, and turns out Jaebum is no exception, but as time goes on the tension between you and your best friend’s unofficial boyfriend grows a/n: if ya like send something in or leave a comment! I love reading them! next part is going to be interesting, hope yall liked the bit of spice. not edited, hope y’all enjoy it! <3

“Stop,” Jaebum ordered.

Every nerve in your body told you to disobey and continue to walk out of his office, but your feet stopped. Your back faced him as your eyes settled on the plain dull wall in front of you, save for a painting that wasn’t much interesting.

It wasn’t truly his office yet. Jaebum hadn’t added any personal touches to the cold space in the past month of him acting Director. He remained detached from the office, employees and the job as much as he could.

Except for you, Jaebum always seemed to be looking for a way to get under your skin. Find new ways to bother you, to annoy you. It was almost as if he enjoyed seeing you fume at him with anger. Your face red with fury brought him peace and happiness. It made that easy cocky smirk on his lips grow each time his melting eyes met your raging ones.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said.

You didn’t turn around instantly. Instead, you took a deep breath in and turned with a vacant expression, “I’m sorry, sir. Was there something you needed?”

Jaebum shifted in the chair, annoyed. Once again, he wasn’t seated in the big boss chair on the other side of the desk. He chose one of the two placed on the other side instead, with papers splayed out in front of him, on the desk.

Your eyes went to the mess and your lips pursed. Your hands itched by your side to sort through the junk and organise everything in a proper fashion. But Jaebum knew what he was doing, he knew exactly where each paper was. He worked like a genius; chaotic and completely self-relied.

You looked back at him to find his lips drawn into a thin line, his brows drawn together as he stared up at you. For the first time, Im Jaebum did not have the cocky smile that normally danced on his lips. His eyes didn’t watch you as if he understood every thought that zoomed through your head.

He looked at you utterly lost, distraught and confused.

“Don’t try to play this game, y/n. Stop that, tell me what’s wrong, why have you been avoiding me.”

He was almost begging at this point, and for the first time in the past week, you smiled. It wasn’t a kind smile, it was cruel and relished his misery. Your tight posture relaxed as you tilted your head holding his troubled gaze as you sang, almost taunting, “I have no idea what you are talking about. I have not been avoiding you, sir.”  

Jaebum rose out of his seat and towered over you in an instant. He gritted, “Stop calling me that.”

“Calling you what, sir?”

Jaebum’s eyes darkened as he took another step towards you. You didn’t move away, you held your ground, your head tilting back to meet his stormy gaze. His jaw ticked as he sneered, “Do you enjoy this? Do you find pleasure in torturing me like this?”

“Torturing you?” You tsked, the smirk on your face growing, hiding the pounding heartbeat in your ears. You turned walking away before spinning on your red-bottom heels, “If someone were to hear, they’d think I was actually hurting you, sir.”

“Stop it!” He spat, the anger leaving him. All Jaebum was left with was desperateness as he continued, “Stop calling me sir, y/n. I’m trying to have a conversation with you as a friend--”

“A friend?” You chuckled, cutting him off. “We are not friends.”

“So we’re back to this again?”

“Yes, we are.” It was your turn to sneer at him as you took a step towards him. All coolness evaded your body and all you felt was red and hot. Anger sparked through every core of your body, your eyes shone with distaste, as you looked down your nose at him, “I will never be friends with a loathsome disgusting dog like you.”

“Dog?” Jaebum snickered at the weak insult, but the embers of the fire began lighting up inside him as he watched your lips draw into a scowl.

“Yes, a dog. A terrible, horrible cheating dog.”

“Is that the best you can do?” Jaebum jeered raising his eyebrows mockingly. “Call me a dog and say nonsense?”

“I am not speaking nonsense, you bastard,” you spat. Jaebum flinched at your words, but you continued, the fire blazing inside you. “I saw you and that woman in your office that day. Don’t think I will forget that easily. I know how disgusting you are.”

“What day--”

“Or do you mean which day-” you cut him off, stepping closer to him. The poison hissing from your tongue, “You have flirted with any woman that you ever crossed path with; at the club, at work! It doesn’t matter to you that you have a girlfriend, and you might think it’s okay, but it is not. I would never do that to my friend. I won’t sit back and hold my tongue-”

“Then why haven’t you done something about it if I’m so bad,” Jaebum cut you off this time. The easy smile returned on his lips, dancing with malice as he looked down at you as if you were a crazy lady talking about stars and the end of the world. “If you can’t differentiate between being friendly with others and flirting, then that’s on you, not on me. It’s not my fault you're an emotionless closed off mumpsimus who doesn’t know that people can simply just be nice to one to another--”

“Yes!” You scoffed up at him. “Because almost fucking a lady on your desk is just being friendly.”

“I was not about to fuck her!”

“Oh yeah?” You nodded, sarcastic.

“I was not cheating. I was not flirting with her.”

“Then what were you doing, Jaebum?” Your eyes were blazing with so much rage you felt as if it would consume you. “Do you hug everyone on your desk? How did Paul like it when you dry-humped him on the desk and called it a friendly hug?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Jaebum groaned, “It was just a hug and she slipped! I was helping her get steady!”

“And I just happened to walk in that exact moment. What a crazy coincidence!”

“If you’re so certain, why haven’t you told anyone then?” Jaebum questioned, after a deep breath. “You tell Heather everything, why haven’t you told her this yet?”

“She already knows what I think of you.”

Jaebum tried not to flinch at your words, “But have you told her about what you apparently saw last week in this office?”

Your cheeks painted red, as you tore your eyes away from him. You stared at the wicked desk instead, “No.”

“Why not?” He drawled, as he took a step closer towards you.

Your chest swelled with resentment as you refused to look at him and the victorious smile you knew was on his lips. You bit your tongue before you answered, each word cutting your throat, “I was not sure.”

“What was that?” He crooned, you could hear his smile. You felt the chuckle in his cool breath as it brushed your forehead. When you didn’t reply, Jaebum placed a finger under your chin and lifted your eyes to meet his.

His haunting gaze still shone with anger, but his lips painted the picture of the easy ocean after a stormy night.

You wanted to smack that smile from his lips. You wanted to erase the victory bubbling inside of him. You met his eyes, not looking way. Your mind repeating one thought over and over again.

I hate you.

It was unfair to blame all these emotions on Im Jaebum when it was not all his doing. You knew Jaebum wasn’t a flirt by choice, but by nature. He was like a golden retriever who couldn’t help but spread love wherever he went. And he didn’t just get friendly with any woman around his age, but with old grandmas, mothers, other males and grandfathers too. It was just who he was.

You knew you were being harsh, you knew it. But you couldn’t back down.

You would rather blame it on Jaebum. You would rather pretend that it was all his fault that you hadn’t been smiling, sleeping or eating this past week. You didn’t want to give that asshole this power over you; you didn’t want to admit the power he still had over you.

Jaebum’s eyes searched yours and the storm in them vanished. His eyes held yours, his fingers on your chin holding you in place as he searched through your mind. And just like always, he finally found the answer. You saw the recognition shine in his eyes; he knew this wasn’t about him.

You knew it wasn’t this that you had you so removed from life. But it wasn’t like Jaebum didn’t do anything wrong too. You still didn’t know what had happened between Jaebum and that lady, or more like, what would have happened had you not walked in at that moment.

“I walked in too early, Im Jaebum,” you exhaled, the venom dancing on your tongue as you met his cool gaze. Your eyes burned bright once again in accusation, “If I had walked in a second later, I would have caught you red-handed.”

“Red-handed?” Jaebum repeated, the smile easy on his lips, the raise of his eyebrows graceful, “Red-handed doing what exactly?”

You glared at him, “I would have found you about to fuck her.”

Jaebum chuckled in reply. The burn of his fingers easing on your chin. He opened his eyes, a new kind of darkness in his eyes; his lips smirking with secrecy.

His fingers lingered on your chin, his thumb grazing your lower lip, his eyes falling for a moment. Your heart stopped when you saw him lean in closer, but then he stopped.

His fingers were a whisper against your skin. It lightly traced down your throat, over your faint collarbones and over your shoulders. His fingertips grazed down your back smoothly, his touch burning through the flimsy white shirt you wore. His fingers stopped on your lower back, before both his hands landed on your hips. His fingers spreading over the curve, searing you with its touch.

His hands gently nudged you backwards, making you take a step back. Jaebum’s steps followed you, making you walk backwards until you felt the edge of the dark wood on your lower back.

Jaebum’s eyes never left yours as he eased you onto the desk. Your legs parted effortlessly as Jaebum slipped between them; your skirt bunching up as it rose up your thigh. Jaebum’s hands finally left your body and your chest expanded.

The ghost of his touch burned you with its sudden coldness.

A strong arm reached behind you on the right. His left hand fell on your knees, slowly, dangerously moving up.

You weren’t breathing; you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t move under his touch.

You couldn’t move under his heated gaze.

Jaebum’s eyes did not leave yours as he leaned in closer. His dark eyes flickering to your lips, a knowing small smile on his lips as your chest heaved. You gulped nervously as his lips drew closer, so close you could taste his breath on your tongue.

You closed your eyes as you felt him lean in closer. His tortuously slow left hand deliciously moved higher, his fingertips gracing the inside of your thighs.

His lips touched you, barely missing your lips. A small sigh left you, and you felt a smile blossom on his soft lips. Jaebum placed another kiss, lower, and then another. Another soft sigh fell from your lips when his lips kissed your neck; you felt his lips drag upwards towards your ear.

His fingertips dug into your thighs, as he gently blew into your ear. You held your breath to stop the whimper from escaping you. You felt so hot; you were sure if Jaebum's fingers as much as travelled any bit further he would be able to feel your body reacting to him.

You could feel your core tangled and a mess of nerves, and a heartbeat down below, in anticipation.

“I have barely touched you and you’re such a beautiful little mess, love,” Jaebum whispered into your ear. You closed your eyes swallowing the painful truth in his words and the shame climbing over your body. “Trust me, if I ever wanted to fuck someone you wouldn’t have to guess. You would know.”

You believed him. If something more was happening that day, you would have known.

You felt him move away, but you kept your eyes closed. Your breath leaving you shakingly as you tried to regain control over yourself. You could feel him look at you; you felt his gaze burn you as he took you in.

You wondered what he saw. How much could he see?

Could he see your cheeks deep with a blush? Your lips wet with anticipation? Your chest heaving? Your breath shattering? All because of him and his nearness, how much could he see... what did he think of it...

Could he see your mind racing with thoughts of him? Racing with all that could happen next? His lips on yours, your moans filling up the quiet office as he groaned, filling you up, spreading you wide open on his desk.

Could he see how you were trying to control yourself?

You opened your eyes and wished you hadn’t. You would rather see them clouded with rage, even unfiltered lust would be better than the softness you found. The honey brown in his eyes met your gaze with desire, want and longing.

It was disgusting.

It was terrible.

It was horrifying how Im Jaebum could make you feel when he was looking at you like that. As if his hands burned beside him, begging to touch you. As if he would cease to exist if he did not touch you, kiss you, hold you. As if you were all he could ever want in the world, but you were the only thing he could never have.

You would rather take animalistic lust over that.

You tore your eyes away from him. Jaebum took a step back and you hopped off the desk. You straightened your skirt avoiding his face. But Im Jaebum wasn’t looking at you as well, his gaze focused on the floor but his mind somewhere far away.

“I won’t worry Heather with this,” you croaked out. Jaebum nodded absent-mindedly, and you began walking out. You were almost to the door when you stopped. You bit your lip, unsure, but decided to say it anyway, “Don’t take it personally, Jaebum. It’s not you, I’ve just been in a mood and caught up with something else. I- I guess, that’s why you thought I was avoiding you.”

“Oh,” Jaebum replied, softly. You turned around to find him giving you all his attention, “Is there something I can do to help you?”

You shook your head with a small smile, “No.”

The moment you had been dreading finally arrived that afternoon.

“Good evening, Meridian Firm,” you answered, automatically. You hated answering phone calls, you would rather email.

“Hello, I’m calling from Spring Industries-”

You knew. You knew.

“I’m calling on behalf of our CEO Park Jinyoung,” the lady on the other spoke, and you tried to control your breathing. “He would like a meeting with Director Im.”

“I will let Director Im know.”

“Can we pencil a meeting date right now, and you can confirm it later? My boss really wants an answer,” the lady on the side spoke sounding more humane.

You knew what she meant by that too. You knew how he got when he didn't get what he wanted.

“Of course,” you pulled out the calendar planner looking for the next empty date, “How is next week Thursday at five-thirty in the evening?”

“Hmm, let me check,” you heard a few clicks on the other side, and prayed it wouldn’t match. “Oh, perfect! Hope to hear from you soon!”

“Alright, goodbye,” you say before hanging up. You sighed, tired, as you run your fingers through your hair.

You knew this moment was coming, but you hadn't expected it to come so soon. You weren’t sure if you were ready. Your stomach churned at the thought of seeing him again.

“Hey, you alright?”

You looked up to find Im Jaebum standing by your desk with concerned eyes. You nodded, smiling slightly at how adorable he looked worried, “I’m good.”

“I...” he started but trailed off. “Let’s go get dinner.”

You were about to say no when he added, “Heather and Bam are already on their way. And Heather said she wants you there.”

You sighed, exhausted, “Alright.”

“Oh, and uh,” you paused, biting your lips, breathless. “The CEO of Spring Industries wants to meet you next week Thursday at five-thirty, how should I reply?”

“Am I free?” You nodded in reply. Jaebum just shrugged, nonchalant, “Cool, tell them yes.”

You nodded once again, doom already clouding over you.

#duff #im jaebum #im jaebeom #lim #im #jaebum #jaebeom #got7 #got7 jaebum #got7 jaebeom #got7 series #jaebum series #series #jaebeom series #imagine #jaebum fanfic #fanfic #got7 smut #got7 angst #jaebum angst #angst #got7 fluff #jaebum fluff #fluff #cheating #jaebum angsts #jaebeom angst #ceo #Jaebum ceo #imagine angst

[animalinvestigator]

sending another ask in response because the reply function does Not anticipate my wordiness!!! always fine to post me publicly usually btw and if not ill try to say so ^_^

BUT yeah i rlly rlly like the message of change not always needing to be bad i used to be so so so scared of and anti-change all the time and like. its a good message.

though i was also considering earlier today that for mike’s death, whatever it may be (i dont think its important to actually figure it out with what specificallt happened for this), maybe it was a lack of change that lead to his death? like rainer said, you can never have mike a back so i was thinking maybe mike’s family was trying to act like nothing changed, its still mike a and refusinf to address it and lead to his death in some way. and this could fuel rainer’s resentment for the family (fuck you all and fuck me as well, u get the idea) and kind of further cements to him his very negative views and also why he specificallt mentioned theres a better chance of helping care b or nlm. jus smth i was thinking abt!

(also was trying to decide how to think abt the lines from scop 3 if u have any thoughts! not far in my own thinking abt it though: “When you find her room, the passage to my right will lead to her.She'll appear from the darkness, limping, and I'll shoot her in the head.” my thinking is the first ‘her’, at least, is lina because there Is a passage to the right in her room in the library and also it does say “You found her” b4 said room which seems telling. was thinking POSSIBLY the second half of the quote is referring to paul/care MMMMAYBE showing up in the ensuing rooms to the right as he is walking around in game in the dark? but could maybe have a double or different meaning with that latter half of the quote idk lol. its not like an especially super important specific part i dont think? but i find it interesting)

put this under the cut cos it got long ^o^ lots to talk abou there!!!!

definitely! i feel like "being unwilling to make meaningful change" seems to be at the heart of a lot of the horrible failures to protect vulnerable parties that define the mark hammond leskowitz family tree. theres a malignancy in the family that it takes 10000 tragedies for the other parties to address, and i think its pretty clear to me that a lot of rainer's resentment comes from that inaction. he pretty clearly feels like the family has failed, and i think their biggest failure is willful ignorance and unwillingness to change until it's way too late. The "if you think they're worth the effort" in care a's description just kind of oozes with that specific kind of resentment-- like 'since you didn't seem to care at all when it happened to mike' kind of thing. so TLDR i took a very similar thing away from it! i dont think we need to know exactly what happened to know that whatever happened, rainer feels like mike was failed somehow. i could spend about 200 years talking about rainer but i wont. Actually im going to write another paragraph talking about him right now so i just lied. the note in cares room is one of the densest pieces of writing in the entire series and theres 100000 things i could say about it. WRT to the line you pointed out specifically, i definitely think that line in particular is talking about lina as well !!! because the passageway in her room is exactly where it describes, paralell to the child library text, etc etc etc. the latter half of the quote could be referring to pretty much anyone. personally i read it as a continuation of the thought about lina becuase the mention of her limping is consistent with his constant drawing paralells between her and mike's dog who specifically broke its leg, but i definitely don't think it's a stretch at all to say its talking about care because the same paralells are drawn between HER and the dog as well and because she is the character that he talks about "pulling out of the darkness" in addition to the thing you pointed out about her wandering in the literlaly dark gameworld (see care b text below)

it could go either way, i definitely don't think defining specifically who it is changes his intent much, but its interesting to try to dissect what exactly he meant by this, espescially because its so like cynical and hopeless. the fact that the portions where he's talking about lina and the portions where he's talking about care kind of blend together into the same thought are pretty telling in and of themself, too.

lots of dubiousness with that particular chunk of writing because i think a lot of his intent behind it cant really be determined unless we know where along the timeline it is -- it almost definitely was written after care got home from the school, but thats a bit antagonistic to rainer's loose attitude of hope towards helping her at the time. ive had a lot of heated discussions on the subject of timeline stuff relating to this piece and i dont think there's really any way to determine, but its definitely really interesting either way n_n

#clappignnad running around in cirlces whee whee discussion

[hadeskitchen]

This is so random but now it got me thinking. Cast as Friends, Ru Paul Drag Race, and Modern Family quotes? // Cant wait for the premise im addicted to your blog

D'awww thanks, anon!! ❤️🥰 I've actually never seen Friends and it's been a while since I last watched Drag Race or Modern Family, but I tried my best!

Shar Patil

Friends

“I’m getting dressed.”

(“Why?”)

“When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.”

RuPaul's Drag Race

“This is not sisters of the traveling pantyhose.”

Modern Family

“That’s the whole point of a surprise party: you take somebody you really love and you play ‘em like a fool.”

K Ishida

Friends

“You’re over me? When were you... under me?”

RuPaul's Drag Race

“I plan on being the black horse in this competition.”

Modern Family

“It’s gonna take more than that to ruin a morning that started out with a whipped cream smile on my waffle.”

T Sarpong

Friends

“I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

RuPaul's Drag Race

“Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, or something like the truth, so help you Jon Bon Jovi?”

Modern Family

“You’ll never go broke playing to a rich man’s ego. Write that down.”

Cecil Gray

Friends

“You should see me when I actually... Oh actually, no, I look good.”

RuPaul's Drag Race

"Go back to Party City where you belong!"

Modern Family

“I’ve been lonely. Having a mirror in my room will be like having company.”

Hero of Thebes

Friends

("Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?")

"He could hear me."

RuPaul's Drag Race

"Not today, Satan. Not today."

Modern Family

“Why am I so intent on helping Andy? I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film, and now I don't have to do it by myself.

Adonis

Friends

“So why don’t you be a grownup and come watch TV in the fort?”

RuPaul's Drag Race

“By the power vested in me…by me…”

Modern Family

"If you wanna fly I'm not gonna hold your feet to the ground, I'm gonna be the one to push you off the cliff."

Other characters under the cut cause this is getting pretty long...

Chef Alex

Friends

“Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember: If I am harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.”

RuPaul's Drag Race

“You are so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.”

Modern Family

"I don't like the guy. Do I have reasons? Yes. Good reasons? Yes. How many reasons do I need? None, I don't like the guy."

Chef Julio

Friends

“I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner, I rarely practice my meals before I eat.”

RuPaul's Drag Race

“The most important thing is to accept and be comfortable with who you are. Anyone who has a problem with it can fuck off.”

Modern Family

"I'm a cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face? You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical."

Jacinta Huaman

Friends

“Oh, my God, a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders!”

RuPaul's Drag Race

"She was the one backstabbing me behind my back."

Modern Family

“I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you to not like me.”

Damon of Chaonia

Friends

“Occupation? Dinosaurs.”

(“Actually I’m a paleon…”)

“Dinosaurs is fine.”

RuPaul's Drag Race

"I got bills to pay. I got dogs to put through college."

Modern Family

"Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail."

Ikal

Friends

“Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights… does it get better than this?”

RuPaul's Drag Race

"Good luck and don't fuck it up."

Modern Family

“I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.”

#asks #hades kitchen #all ros #hk characters #cecil #hero #adonis #chef julio #chef alex #jacinta #damon #ikal #hk memes #t sarpong #s patil #k ishida #updated

[transhoverfish]

What are everyone's "abilities" in Survivors? Ryley has good hearing and Milo glows but what do the others have?

!!! YOU HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT MY AU !!! THE FLOODGATES OF YELLING HAVE OPENED!!

OK SO. as u mentioned ryley has good hearing and milo glows. basically,

ryley = good hearing

milo = glowy boy

emily = electric detection (cooler than i describe rn my vocabulary is small)

danby = like emily's but reverse. controls electromagnetic things

roman = night vision

jochi = the most superpower like one, he got quick regeneration.

avery = telepathy!

bart = also kind of telepathy but more like future telepathy. he has future vision.

and i. never thought of one for ozzy actually and at this point i have no idea what to give them that wouldn't have been brought up prior so. u know genetics are weird! they just dont have anything ig. nobody look at me LABDKABDLABD

AND ALSO paul and marg have powers! paul got that peeper enzyme carrier thing, and marg got the very funny power of feeling others emotions. yes that includes the fish. yes this is one of the primary reasons she didnt kill paul over a decade of dealing w him. yes she hates it.

and the vesper haven't been sick long enough to develop anything! or at least thats what im going with bc i havent thought of anything for them yet 😔

AND NOW: LONGER EXPLANATIONS. IM GONNA GET CARRIED AWAY SO ITS UNDER A READ-MORE.

first off on the list: bart! so bart.. kinda has futuristic visions?? but the things he sees are not set in the stone,, as in if he dreams about smth (a lot like ryley can!) it is possible to change those events! most of these visions/telepathy type stuff were bc of the emperor and warpers, and also al-an! once the sea emp died and the warpers all calmed down his powers kind of go away a bit. i think i wrote al-an sort of mentioning it in one chap of awa?? but its only kind of implied. so he has rlly similar powers to avery except he can't tell what others are thinking and he can only kind of tell how his closest friends r feeling. so right now bart pretty much doesn't have powers! he can communicate w the warpers and sea emps much easier than the others tho (he's the only one that can talk to warpers! im not sure he'd get along w them after being hunted down by them for like 12 years though KABDLSBRLSHD)

avery has telepathy! this is because when he first shows up he jokes about having telepathy and i was like "haha. WAIT." and then he got telepathy! i realize its a bad idea to not come up with their powers until as im writing but uhhh well. i never said i was a fantastic writer who's smart. KANROSHROSBF.

he also kind of had marg's empathy ability but wayyy dialed back. he can only tell how other humans are feeling and he can only vaguely understand it as opposed to feeling the emotions himself like marg does. so he can kind of tell how others are feeling and he can tell what theyre thinking about! unless of course for plot convince he can't. strong emotions, especially strong negative emotions (ie. fear) can overwhelm him and makes his powers stop working. and if someone is convinced they're right then he wont b able to tell they're lying/hiding something! yay plot convenience!!

roman has night vision. i have no way of making this sound cool he just straight up can see really well in the dark. like a cat. most of the powers were based off where they originally landed and what would help them in that area! and roman landed in the sparse reef, which is so dark all the time i cry thinking about it. so he has night vision! his poor eyesight is probably all kinds of fucked up now tho.

jochi has regeneration abilities! now i know this might sound a bit much but he just heals from cuts and stuff faster and like. he bones heal fast. and he's more likely to survive smth that might usually kill someone, but its like a 10% higher chance of living nothing too much. he doesn't rlly get scars as much as the others, and its healed his old ones a bit more! this is by far the most unrealistic power of them all, but ya know its alien fish planet game who cares. basically bc his life support systems failed his spine got all fucked up and he got infected faster bc he was barely alive for the first few days and spent a lot of time w bart who was looking after him. power helped fix his back, but he still has a rlly bad limp and pretty much constant pain. big mood there khasar 😔✊

emily can detect electromagnetic waves! works best underwater. kind of like ryley's, but instead of hearing noises she can only hear anything electric, like vehicles or ampeels or heartbeats. gets all fucked up during thunderstorms though sadly. she's the only other one that can kind of hear warpers and can tell when ones about to warp around but she cant actually talk back to them. pretty sick if u ask me tho.

danby has p similar powers to her bc ampeels also spawn in the bulb zone. except he can sense them at a much smaller distance, cant hear warpers, and can control the waves around him! mostly just his own tho. so like, he can quiet his heartbeat or make it stop all together. scary power that he does not know how to control. uh oh. but he can also control other creatures a bit! he's very good at hiding bc of this, which is nice bc he loves to hide from scary things. very big mood once again.

milo is glowing powers! looks a lot like the transparency of a ghost levi or a crabsquid, although he isn't as see through as them. you can def make out like veins but not bones or organs. his powers are activated by touch, the more force behind will create more glow and more transparency! a poke = goes away within a few seconds, a slap = stays for a minute or so. instead of bruises, he just glows until the bruise would normally go away. he's basically a living glowstick. i have another joke for this but i cannot physically convince myself to type it bc its some shit emily would say to him and i cannot embarrass him like that LABDLABDKABAKD

andd ryley's super hearing! can hear basically everything within a mile radius at all times. im bad at math and i don't know the metric system but i think that's like around 1k meters. wait does the metric system use mile already. no. ONCE AGAIN NEVER SAID I WAS SMART.

OK ANYWAYS back on track! this means he can hear about half of the crater at all times. he's gotten p good at blocking out background noise and anything far away. typically only hears everything within like 300 meters of himself. so when he does get back to just hearing everything its like. u ever take out headphones in a busy place and everything kinda hurts for a few seconds bc its so much noise. yeah like that but 500x worse. he's able to concentrate on specific areas within this 1 mile field but if its far away it fucks him up good for a lil while. sorry ryley :(

and then the other two degasi! as mentioned before, paul can carry enzyme like the peepers, but he also can kind of make some himself! only small amounts and it works a bit less than the peeper enzyme does. he does not have to cough it up though thankfully it just like. idk how to describe this idea it can just kind of leave through his skin?? he has like no control over his power at all it just kind does its own thing and he deals w it. this is primarily how he and marg survive for so long w/o dying to kharra!

and finally marguerit! highly empathetic abilities that allow her to feel the emotions of anything around her! i thought it would be funny as hell to give MARGUERIT of all ppl Big Emotion Disease. this is a big reason why she has had yet to murder paul and why she's a lot less murderer like in the au. its hard to kill someone if you. you know. can feel exactly what they are. probably the reason she adopted Dog Bart/Legally Preston Emotionally Not. saw sad puppy and felt too bad to leave him. like paul, she has basically no control over it and is one of the reasons she does NOT want to go back to the survivors base and be around so many other ppl, she'd be feeling like, 13 ppl's emotions at one time. all these powers have fucked up drawbacks dont they??

once again sam, robin, jeff, maxim, and ozzy are (for now at least) not gonna have any powers! mutations are weird and ozzy just didn't get anything, and the vesper haven't been sick long enough for any yet!

OK THATS ALL. HOLY SHIT SORRY FOR YELLING FOR 15 MINUTES. GOT CARRIED AWAY. hopefully that explains everything tho OABEOABROANRJS OK BYE MY PHONE IS ALMOST DEAD

#wrote a whole ass chapter to the fanfic right here AKSJSKWBEOAN #so um. ENJOY ME YELLING ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS?? #subnautica: survivors #ryley robinson #avery quinn #bart torgal #paul torgal #marguerit maida #berkeley #cto yu #danby #ozzy #keen #jochi khasar #sam ayou #robin ayou #serik jevov #maxim #I TAGGED EVERYONE RIGHT?? #THERES TOO MANY OF THESE BASTARDS #ask #subnautica: a world alone

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

#jolex #kkc universe #this turned into partially kkc stuff whoops #cici writes #ask coco

[actualbird]

nobody asked but pat gill is so fucking hot to me and im going to tell you why im attracted to him | a 2.3k word long post where i hold you, dear reader, hostage

[SCENE: You, the reader, are tied to a wooden chair in an empty room with nothing but a small table and a projector. You pull at the ropes that tie your hands together behind your back, but then the door opens and I stroll in. I am dressed in a full black suit and am also wearing shutter shades. I am also holding a powerpoint clicker. The fancy ones with a laser pointer in them. You shudder in contempt for you know that you are about to witness a horrible lecture.]

Hello, reader. I know you know why I’ve brought you here. I’m here to discuss something very important to you. Don’t look at me like that, it is important, I swear. I am here to tell you why I find Pat Gill hot.

[I switch on the projector. My presentation slides flash to life on the wall. Behind your back, you locate the feel around the knots tying your hands.]

This is not a presentation where I will convince you that Pat Gill is hot. No, I wouldn’t prescribe my tastes onto anybody, that’s not nice. What I will do is explain in horrid, vivid detail why I myself find Pat Gill hot. 

Like everything I do, I cannot dive in without first setting up some kind of framework or system of analysis. What I am trying to explain is how I find another person attractive, and that has thus pushed me to make the AHG Criteria, a criteria made up of the three principal characteristics of a human which makes me attracted to them and is also, coincidentally, the sound I make when I see images of Pat Gill. 

The AHG Criteria refers to the following:

Appearance: the most shallow but noticeable of characteristics. Here, I will explain just what it is about Pat Gill’s perceivable flesh prison that gets me so upset in an attracted manner.

Humor: I love a funny human and humor theory is one of my side interests. Here, I will dissect two specific instances of Pat Gill’s humor, bringing in references and related literature, in an effort to explain why his sense of humor is stellar.

Good at presenting things: I am very attracted to competence, but one skill I hold in very high regard is the skill of explaining and conveying information. Here, I will analyse Pat Gill as a communicator.

So let’s jump right into it. 

Pat Gill’s Appearance is, frankly, an anomaly to me. This is not to say that anything about his appearance is strange, but that, quite honestly, as handsome as he is, he’s basic. He is white, he is tall, he is thin, he has black hair and a slight beard (though currently he is sporting more of a moustache, which I’m still into). At first glance, one wouldn’t pay him much attention. I sure didn’t, until I watched more and more videos of him. I sure didn’t, until I realized.

His Appearance is basic, but his vibes, which I am including in the criteria of Appearance, bring his Appearance to life. Pat Gill looks a little unapproachable, with his resting sad face; but, when he smiles, he is so shameless and happy. Pat Gill looks like somebody you’d see leaning on a wall outside a bar, looking up at the sky, and you wonder just what he’s thinking about---wonder if you could get lost in his thoughts. Pat Gill looks like somebody friendly--- once his resting sad face gives way---somebody who would help you pick up your stuff when you bump into him and the contents of your bag spill out. Pat Gill looks like somebody who would use his goddamn turn signal. Pat Gill looks like somebody who would pet many dogs, as many dogs as he physically could. Pat Gill looks---

[As I prattle on, your fingers explore the knots behind your back. In your mind, you are mapping out the knot’s shape and orientation, thinking about how to undo them. When you tune back into my voice, the slide on the projector has changed and I have shifted topics.]

Let’s move onto the next criteria. Humor.

Paul McGhee in his book Humor: Its Origins and Development brings up Göran Nerhardt to define humor as “[...] a consequence of the discrepancy between two mental representations, one of which is an expectation and the other is some idea or percept” (McGhee 14). Nerhardt’s definition of humor is one that relies on incongruity: wherein there is an element that is not in accordance with the other elements. An incongruous element is one that is not the expectation, and in this subversion of expectation, humor is achieved. What is funny in a humorous situation, is then, what is unexpected to a certain degree. Humor, and the reaction to it, is due to the recognition of the incongruous. 

Despite this incongruity, there is still an internal logic to anything humorous. This internal logic is different for each humorous situation, and consists of everything within the situation; the set-up, punchline, characters, etc. It is this internal logic that allows for jokes to “make sense.” It is that internal logic that helps us get from one element to the incongruous element, realize their relationship, and thus find the whole thing funny.

Incongruity and internal logic are one of the many characteristics of humor, and they are the ones I will be focusing on. With those definitions in place, let’s talk about what you’re here for: Pat Gill.

Pat Gill is a funny guy. If I tried to analyse every single instance he was funny, I would never shut up. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

[You shake your head no. God, no.]

Right, so I’ll just be focusing on two instances of his humor that stuck out to me (originally, I wanted to discuss three, but then I saw that the length of this post was getting kilometric, so I cut it down to the essentials), these of which I think is a good marker for the kind of sense of humor he has.

The first one is my absolute favorite tweet of his:

This tweet is, at first glance, a lot. Pat Gill doesn’t wait for the punchline to be incongruous, he throws incongruity straight at our faces with the opening line, and one may think that that’s a bad move. Not necessarily. It’s just a ballsy one. It’s a move that doesn’t spoonfeed the audience with the internal logic, you have to work for it. As you read through the tweet, the internal logic starts to come through the incongruity. The literal dramatic situation of the tweet is a persona talking about the good state their nemesis is in. The language of the tweet keys us in to the kind of Medieval vibe, like a scheming duke in the hallways of a castle. The punchline comes after the last comma. The monolog of the nemesis’ good fortune will be interrupted by the persona’s attack on their life.

This tweet is an example of the bedrock of many of his jokes. He doesn’t give a damn if he makes sense or not. He will throw you into the deep end of the joke and it is up to you to tread the water. However, if you do manage to keep afloat, his internal logic will bring you to the punchline and, thus, satisfaction.

[Your fingers have been working on the knots steadily as I speak. You try your best not to react as you start to feel something give way, and you keep working quietly.]

The second instance of humor I want to discuss is the Solid Snake Skincare Routine dialog he wrote and performed with Brian in episode 8 of Gill and Gilbert. The full transcript is as follows:

Pat (as Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid): Colonel, how do I know which moisturizer to buy, and how do I know it’ll match my skin type?

Brian (as Colonel from Metal Gear Solid): Unfortunately Snake, there’s no way to tell for sure. Certain retailers will offer samples, but in most cases, it’s up to you to purchase a product and try it out.

Pat: Sounds expensive.

Brian: It is, Snake. And the cost disproportionately affects women.

Pat: Women?

Brian: Societal norms in the west dictate that a woman’s value is tied to their appearance, and the thing every woman has…

Pat: Skin!

Brian: Right.

Pat: So, we expect women to attain a higher---So, we expect women---women, to attain perfect skin, and we also expect them to pay for it?

Brian: All while paying them less for doing the same jobs as men.

Pat: So Colonel, that means…

Brian: Yes, Snake. It is imperative that you give your money to women.

Pat: Right.

Like the tweet discussed before, Pat Gill shoves incongruity in your face immediately. Solid Snake, super cool spy dude (?? I don’t fuckin know anything about video games) talking about skincare. He expects you to keep up, and if you do, you are rewarded by a surreal yet lovely conversation between Snake and Colonel talking about the intricacies of skincare, but then things get really interesting. The topic shifts to the societal expectations of beauty and how it ties into womens’ experiences. This isn’t a grand woke moment or anything, but it is a surprising shift in subject that is perfectly in tune with the internal logic of the conversation. The punchline is amazing, giving all your money to women, yet it is also written in a way that does not imply that women are the butt of the joke. The butt of the joke here is the surreal vibe of the conversation as a whole.

This dialog builds upon the bedrock of Pat Gill’s humor: he isn’t afraid to go places. This is something that is apparent in many of the Unraveleds that he writes (Dark Souls Bosses is a very good example), he brings in real issues, makes the jokes funny, but never treats the marginalized or the victims of these issues as the butt of the joke. In Susan Purdie’s book The Mastery of Discourse, she remarks that to joke about a certain topic, to make something the “butt of the joke” can degrade this topic and bring it down lower, in the process shifting the power to the joker instead (Purdie 59). Pat Gill is aware of that power dynamic and never jokes at the expense of those who are struggling. He instead makes us laugh at characters, at situations, at surreality.

[The knots tying your hands are almost undone. You just need to bide your time. You’re so close to escaping from this thirsty pseudo intellectual motherfucker]

The last criteria I need to discuss with you is GreatAtPresentingThings. 

Pat Gill has done a lot of presenting. For this, I will be analyzing just one of the many videos where Pat Presents Things, my favorite among his “X is Y because of Z” videos, “Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the exact same thing.”

I’ve talked about this video in a previous long post analysis about Pat Gill, but let me talk about it again. Pat Gill, on camera, brings up an absolutely bonkers fucking thesis: that the horrible monsters in Bloodborne are similar to the Muppets because of how they use character design. 

Pat Gill, as a presenter, is very lovely to listen to. The cadence of his voice is not only extremely relaxing and makes me feel like a tranquilized zoo animal that Pat is talking to very gently about video games, but his voice is also very easy to follow. There are many voices on the internet, and I have a bunch of sensory issues, so a lot of the time, even when I want to listen to somebody, I just can’t because of how their voice grates at my ears. Pat Gill’s voice is not that. It is of a good speed and good vibe that not only puts me at ease but makes me want to listen.

Pat Gill uses gestures. This is most apparent in this video, where he does that cute thing when he says Shape, Movement, and Texture. Here are screenshots of it because it’s so fucking cute, what the fuck.

I know, I know, what do gestures have to do with presenting things? Well, if you told me “shape, movement, texture”, six minutes later, I wouldn’t fucking remember any of those. But with these gestures, those words do stick. When words stick, the explanations behind those words stick as well. When words and explanations stick in your mind, congratulations dude, you just learned something! Pat Gill when talking, and whether it is scripted like this or unintentional like a random gesticulation, the movement catches my attention and I become a more rapt listener.

Honestly, I could go on and on about Pat as a communicator and---

[Before I can speak, you bolt upwards from your chair, finally having gotten the ropes loose. Quickly, powerfully, you grab the projector from the table and smash it over my head. I stumble and fall to the ground, and you look down at me as your chest heaves.

As I slowly lose consciousness, you hear me say, softly, but with so much fervor:

“Pat…..Gill…..hot.”]

Thanks for reading! 

(Read my other unhinged analysis essays at actualbird.tumblr.com/tagged/nobody-asked-but. If you have a suggestion for an unhinged analysis essay I can write, send me an ask!)

References:

McGhee, Paul E. Humor: Its Origin and Development, W.H. Freeman and Company, 1979, pp. 1-41.

Purdie, Susan. The Mastery of Discourse. Harvester Wheatsheaf. 1993.

#polygon #pat gill #patrick gill #pat gill thirst jail #nobody asked but

[whole-lotta-hoes]

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

[gloriafc]

Angel Baby-Part 1

*slight Lucifer crossover*

Can I request Paul's imprint being another type of supernatural creature besides shapeshifters and vampires? -anonymous

Everything about you screamed angel. Your looks, your personality, your hobbies. Of course you're only half, your mother is completely human, but your father is the devil himself. Before your mother died she'd always say that you're exactly like him, the smart mouth, always rudely honest, nosy, and your beauty could capture anyone's attention. Of course your dad is very protective of you along with your uncle, but they both know you can protect yourself, being stronger than anyone you come in contact with. You share many qualities with your father; you're capable of making people tell you their desires, yet it doesn't work as well as your father's but you are capable of getting anything you need to know out of someone, you can literally get out of anything, and just like him you don't need a key to open or turn on something. A couple things you can do that he can't, and he claims it's just because you're part human and your angel side is protecting you, is that you can literally sniff out if someone is human or not, and you're able to heal a human, like if they broke some bones you can quickly heal them and painlessly.

When your birthday came around your father gave you a club. He decided to expand to Seattle and wanted you to manage it, since you do so well helping Maze with the accounting and everything else. So you agree, and set up to run a successful club.

You actually meet the Cullen's first, running into Rosalie on the floor of the club and instantly the both of you stiffen knowing the other isn't human. You're quick to pulling her into your office before looking at her as she looks at you. "What are you?" "I could ask you the same thing, you smell human." You notice her rubbing her arm from where you grabbed her. "Sorry about that." She looks at you before questioning, "If you're human how did you manage to hurt me."

The two of you explain what you are, slowly becoming best friends as the days go by, Rosalie constantly visiting you at work to learn more and feed back to her family. You don't officially meet anyone until summertime comes around and Rosalie asks you for a favor. "Just so you know you owe me your soul now." "What? I thought you coul-" "Relax I'm fucking with you. Only my dad can do that. So what am I here for?"

The Cullen's quickly introduce themselves and go through what they need help with. Emmet quickly grows to like you, with every smart comment you make. Jasper finds himself protectively drawn to you when you explain what you are to them, Rosalie not giving them all the information she learned about angels from you.

"So these newborns are supposed to be how strong again?" "One can take out an entire human army with little effort." "So? I can do that with no effort, just a flap of my wings." "You have wings too?!"

When you yawn Esme goes into mother mode, "Oh you should get some sleep before we meet with the pack tomorrow morning. You're free to use any of the rooms we have." "What pack?"

You finally notice the man who's entered the house, smelling him first. "My pack. Shape shifters." "Do you shift into dogs or? You really smell like a freshly washed dog." Everyone watches to see if Sam gets mad but he just shakes his head and offers his hand which you gladly shake. You quickly go through with Sam about what you are before making your way to Rosalie's room to crash before the meeting.

As you walk through the forest alongside Emmett and Rosalie, you let Rosalie explain the relationship between Edward and Bella. "So your brother likes her blood basically, like heroin." "You know what, seems like you get the vampire mating process. Why don't you tell us about the angel mating process?" "I would, if I knew it myself."

When you enter the field Jasper and Emmet start wrestling with each other as you wait for the pack. You and Rosalie play tic-tac-toe in the dirt with a stick.

You stand straight when the wolves enter the field, staring at how big they are. Something feels off but you just brush off the feeling thinking it has to do with multiple supernatural creatures in one place.

You hear someone ask, "Who's that?" And you absentmindedly answer, "Y/N" the same time Edward does making everyone look at you. "What?" "Did you just answer the pack?" "I guess so? Why?" "Only Edward can hear their thoughts when they're in their wolf form."

You stare at the ground thinking and listening to the pack talk to each other not bothering on paying attention to the vampires fighting with each other. How is it possible, if no one can hear them talking to each other, that you can hear the pack? You feel something coming your way, so you look up and side step, just as a giant branch comes soaring your way along with a growl from one of the wolves. "Did you really just throw a mini tree at me?" "Are you going to stand there staring at the ground, or are you going to fight?" "You realize I could kick your ass in my sleep right?" "Please."

After fighting Emmett, and winning, you walk past a fallen branch. The branch manages to cut your leg making you hiss and pull at your pant leg, inwardly groaning when you see the small cut.

Realizing that you're bleeding you stand up straight, Edward hearing your thoughts looks at you confused, "What's wrong?" You can't help but take a step back, not knowing what to think, "Uh nothing. It doesn't bother you?" Gesturing toward your leg, Edward shakes his head, "It doesn't even smell like blood, more like those candles they have inside churches."

Thinking about the cut on your leg you start walking backwards, "I gotta go, there's something I need to take care of." Carlisle is quick to stop you, "Wait! The wolves will need your scent, in case you don't come back until the battle."

Letting each wolf sniff you you feel yourself freeze when one gets near you, making it look at you and freeze itself, noticing that it's the last one you start walking backwards staring at Rosalie, "Is that all you needed me for?" Seeing the state you're in she nods before you start jogging across the field.

"Are you running?" You turn around and smirk, "Of course not. I have my own form of travel." You quickly turn and fasten your pace letting your wings out and start flying, all the way to LA.

You find yourself sitting across from your dad, asking him about what it's like for him to be around Chloe. "Why so many questions darling?" "I just- it's uh."

You finally manage to tell your dad about the cut and bleeding around other supernatural creatures. You groan when your dad sits with a smug look, ready to get revenge for all the times you made fun of him for being weak around Chloe.

"Dad I'm serious, I need help here." He sighs standing up and going into dad mode grabbing your shoulders, "Darling, there's nothing you can do about it. Your grandpa is just showing you, in his own twisted way, that someone is made for you. Literally."

You take the next couple of days thinking about everything, you don't even know what this person looks like, and they already make you weak. Literally.

You fly back just in time, the fights already started. You're quick to land, pushing one of the newborns off of one of the wolves and using it as a landing mat. As the newborns head falls off you scrunch up your nose, "Gross."

Rosalie shouts from across the field, "Now you show up?!" You throw up your hands and punch a vampires head off before turning towards her, "Im here aren't I?"

Before you know it the fight is over and you're helping throw the bodies into the fire.

Before you realize what you're doing you throw yourself towards one of the wolves before it can attack a rogue vampire, alongside another wolf who gets itself in the vampires grasp. As you tumble towards the ground alongside the wolf you hear screams of agony.

You watch as the wolves head into the forest before coming back out in their human form surrounding the naked boy on the ground. You stand back as Carlisle looks over the boy, "The right side of his body is shattered." It takes you seconds to push through everyone and to fall on the ground next to the boy, "I can fix it."

Everyone turns to Alice, "There's no time! They're coming." You feel yourself look at Carlisle for an explanation, "The Volturi, they don't know about the wolves, or you for that matter." You nod before standing up, "Then what do we do?" Sam interferes, "The only thing we can do." You watch as the rest of the boys around you lift up the screaming boy and head off into the forest, leaving you behind.

Rosalie comes up behind you and gives you a slight push, "Go with them. Tell them Carlisle will be there to check on him after. Besides I think there's something you should know about one of the wolf boys." You stare at her before hearing Alice say, "Five minutes."

You're quick to run into the forest following the smell of the pack until you end up at a small house where everyone is standing around outside, surrounding a man in a wheelchair. You make your way towards the group, Sam stepping in front of everyone. “How can you help him?” The man in the wheelchair rolls forward, “What are you?”

You cross your arms staring at both men, turning towards the older one. “My names Y/N, I’m an angel. Well half angel. And as of helping him, I’m capable of healing human bones, painlessly. It takes a while, but he won’t be in any pain. It’s better than having to re-break all of his bones, I’m guessing you all heal fast since you turn into wolves.

The two men stare at you along with everyone else around you before the older man raises his hand to shake yours, “Billy.” You smile and shake his, “That’s one less name for me to try and guess.” He chuckles and turns leading you into the small house, everyone else following.

You enter the living room, seeing the same boy laying on the couch groaning in pain. One of the two human woman beside him look at Billy, “His bones have probably already set wrong. They’ll need to be re-broken and reset to stop the pain.” Billy grabs your arm, “Are you positive this will help my son?” You cant help but nod and give him a soft smile, “This wouldn’t be the first person, I’ve done this for.” 

As you make your way to the couch you grab a chair setting it next to the boy. Taking your seat you set your hand on the boys abdomen and watch as his face relaxes and shows no sign of pain. It takes him a second to realize he can’t feel anything before he looks at you, “How are you doing that?” You can’t help but smirk, “Same way you turn into a giant dog.”

An hour later you're watching the boy moving around, making sure he's fully healed before you go to leave, Billy stopping you, "Y/N we need to talk about something. Stay for dinner and we'll explain, maybe you can explain more on what you are."

You quickly learn everyone's names along with their tribal legends. In turn you tell them about being a half angel, daughter to the devil.

"So is your dad actually red?" "No. He can make himself look like the pictures though." "Can you do that?" "No."

By the end of the night you've learned what an imprint is, how it works and who imprinted on you. You manage to swap numbers with the pack and the rest of the imprints but get rushed back to Seattle by an impatient uncle who appeared out of nowhere, just as you were about to finish your food.

#paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote #imprint #twilight imagine #angel #lucifer imagine

[richietoaster]

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart. 

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay 

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL 

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all. 

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later. 

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi 

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move?? 

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie” 

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried. 

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will. 

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years. 

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic. 

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here. 

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes 

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :( 

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene. 

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience. 

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.  

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE. 

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death. 

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now 

#it chapter 2 #it chapter two spoilers #IT CHAPTER TWO #it chapter 2 spoilers #IT SPOILERS #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #stanley uris

[wizisbored]

Gimme some of that fun Ghost!Zazz watching Paul play vidya games content for the drabble requests.

Going to base it off the last game i played - the red lantern - since thats in my head. Idk if paul would play it but ah well. Also, im setting it before theyre fully aware of zaz because i dont want to spoil how paul and zaz communicate

Not sure about this one, i was just kinda winging it. Ah well. No point agonising too hard over a short writing practice.

“Pick the wolf game.” Paul may be entirely unaware of the spirit sat beside him on his sofa, but she likes to give her input anyway. “C’mon. Wolf game.” “What you gonna do today?” Emma asks from the floor, looking up from her laptop. “Probably Red Lantern,” Paul says. “Fuck yeah,” Zaz grins. “Fucking wolf game!”

Zazzalil knows the Red Lantern isn’t actually about wolves. It’s about some new thing called ‘dogs’. But these dogs in particular look a lot like small wolves, so that’s what she calls it. “I thought you finished that one, like, three times already,” Emma comments, leaning her head on Paul’s leg as she returns her gaze to her screen. Zaz rolls her eyes. “He hasn’t done all of the dog’s stories yet!” she tells her maybe-descendant, though of course she doesn’t hear it. Luckily, Paul has her back. “Well, I haven't hundred percent’ed it yet. I need to finish all the dog’s character arcs.” “The dogs have character arcs?” “Of course the dogs have character arcs!” Zazzalil says. “Didn’t you see Bodega dragging the sled out of the lake?” “Yeah,” Paul tells Emma. “Y’know, like when one of them dragged the sled out of the lake.” “Huh. Thought that was just another random event.” Zazzalil sighs. How is it that she knows more about Paul’s game machine than an actual modern human? “No,” Paul clarifies, “he’s got this whole thing about how he’ll do anything to defend our food supplies.”

By this point he’s loaded the game, and on the screen five little wolves are running down a snowy trail. But soon the screen slows and the game machine wonders aloud what way it should go. “Right,” Zazzalil says. “Go towards that lake.” Paul hits a few buttons. The wolves turn left. Zazzalil snorts in annoyance - sometimes she forgets that the man can’t hear her commentary. The screen slows again as an elk darts across the path. “A good food reserve won’t hurt,” the spirit hints, but Paul opts to ignore the animal. Generally he inadvertently follows her advice around half the time - at least, when it’s a game she understands enough to advise on - but she seems to be having a particularly bad time of it today. “Go right next time.” He goes left again.

It’s not long before Paul makes camp - once again, against Zazzalil’s advice. She eyes him skeptically before giving her next comment. If he doesn’t go through with this one, she might just lose all faith in his gaming skills. “You have to pet the wolves, Paul.” The man shifts a few controls, the perspective of the screen shifts, and a pair of mittens come into view to give the nearest wolf, Barkley, some good belly rubs. Zazzalil relaxes, better settling down on the sofa cushions. “Well, at least you have the most important thing down.”

#sf fic #arran writes things