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daydreaming-in-letters · 6 months

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Earth & Fire

Chapter VII - In darkness

11/07/2023

Pairing: Hades (Hozier) x Anthea (OFC)

Word Count: 4,625

Warnings: language, fluff, fingering, loss of virginity, unprotected sex

Summary: With Orpheus gone from the Underworld, the darkness of night finally unveils what has yet been left unspoken between Anthea and Aidon.

A/N: I know it was a long wait, but I needed to get this right. I think you might understand.

Earth & Fire - Masterpost

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

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Anthea had no idea whether it had been mere minutes or hours since she had left the empty throne room behind and had begun to wander the endless corridors instead. To her astonishment, they were equally deserted. A fact that seemed strange after seeing the throne room bustle with creatures, almost bursting from the seams. Where had they all gone to and how could they have vanished so quickly?

But those questions did not distract her for long before her mind wandered back to the one thought she tried so hard to avoid. And the one person she tried to avoid just the same. For how could she even be in the same room without giving herself away? It would not need any words from her mouth. She was sure he would see right through her, glimpse the very essence of her soul and with it the secret she was carrying inside ever since…their trip to the pond? Or the night before, when he had consoled her so very gently? Or even before that?

Anthea was not sure when exactly it had happened, but she could not deny any longer that it had. If only she knew what to do with that realisation. She had never felt anything even remotely similar to the feelings she now held for him. How did one speak of the things that are barely possible for the mind to grasp?

Anthea had rounded just another corner when suddenly every thought was washed from her mind. And all that remained was the soft melody that wafted through the empty space between herself and a door at the far end of the corridor. It had been left ajar, just a tiny bit, probably unintentionally. Still the faint sheen of blue light seemed to lead the way.

Heedlessly she followed its lure, pulling open the door just enough for her to fit through, and then another, without sparing her surroundings even the faintest of looks. All she wanted was to be close to that melody, to the soft vibration of strings and the soothing hum that accompanied it.

It was only when her eyes fell on the familiar figure sitting on the ground that she knew where she was and the realisation made her stop in her tracks. He had not yet noticed her, far gone as he was, completely lost to the music. His eyes were closed as his face contorted in the most beautiful way, in tune with the notes he coaxed from the lyre in his arms. It was a fine instrument, though not as splendid as the one Orpheus called his own, but it was the last thing she could focus her attention on now.

For he was magnificent, hypnotising her eyes to follow the movement of his hair as the half he had not tied back swished over his shoulders while he strummed the strings. One stray strand of wispy hair must have come loose and caressed his forehead now. Oh, how Anthea would have liked to brush it aside and feel its softness against her fingertips.

There was a certain fragility to him that once again made it easy to forget the power he actually wielded. The power of a god.

Fates, she had been so foolish for coming here. What if he actually did see right through her the second he opened his eyes? What if it upset him? What if she angered yet another deity, and in consequence would lose not only his sympathy, but also the refuge he had offered?

To her horror, she realised that she was bound to find out this very instant, as the lyre fell silent and his eyes open to land directly on her petrified form.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out in her panic. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

But instead of anger or disgust or any other appalled expression Anthea had envisioned, the only thing she found was a soft smile on Aidon’s lips. “You’re not.”

It did not take more to calm her, the warmth of his smile and the honesty in his tone were all she needed. She even allowed herself to take a step forward instead of listening to her flight instinct.

“I had no idea you could play the lyre. And so beautifully at that.”

“Ah, no, stop. It’s not that good.”

His cheeks had turned the colour of a ripe pomegranate even before he had finished his protest, but Anthea just shrugged as if she had not noticed.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s horrible. Almost made my ears bleed.”

Immediately his expression changed, that flustered little grin turning into the warmest, most heartfelt laughter she had ever heard and Anthea could not help herself but laugh along.

“It looks quite complicated though.”

“It’s not really.” Aidon looked down at the instrument in his hands with a fondness people usually held for a close friend or family member. Still, it was not long before his eyes found her again, and the almost childlike enthusiasm they reflected took her completely by surprise. “Would you like me to show you?”

“Mh-hm, yes,” she heard herself agree without even thinking about it.

“All right. Great.” His smile grew an impossible inch wider. “C’mere to me.”

His hand was warm and impossibly soft against her own as he helped her down. And before she knew what was happening, she found herself sitting on the floor, completely surrounded by him. His legs circled her own, his left hand still holding the lyre, while his right was reaching for hers to guide her fingers towards the instrument and along the strings.

He was everywhere, his cheek lightly brushing along hers while she could feel his chest move against her back with every breath he drew in. She was tempted to close her eyes, to give herself to the moment fully, to enjoy leaving the world behind until it seemed to hold only the two of them.

“See, I told you. It’s easy,” his voice gently pulled her back, but only for an instant. An instant in which Anthea did not hear the soft music they created together, did not even feel the strings brush against her fingertips. All she felt was him. The soothing warmth of his body, the tenderness in his touch.

Between them stood nothing more but a heartbeat, one deep exhale that carried the last shreds of doubt. The rest came easy. A turn of her head, unhurried, and the music died away. A look that said more than a thousand words ever could have. And one last breath, not more than a sigh, before their lips met and they lost themselves in each other.

She had pictured her first kiss a thousand times in her mind already, had envisioned every possible scenario, but this was so much more than she ever could have imagined. She could taste her beloved ocean on his lips, his breath on her skin like the warm breeze of a late summer afternoon, while his scent carried the familiar notes of dry earth—and she was home.

There was no demand in the way his lips moved with hers. He did not claim her or sate his desires, instead he gave himself to her completely and she loved him all the more for it.

For a long time, even after their lips had parted, they stayed exactly as they were, Anthea leaned against his body, her fingers playing with a lock of his hair as he kept on coaxing the most beautiful sounds from his lyre. The faint vibrations of his soft hums seeped into her skin, lulling her in until she felt nothing but peace, the kind that settled deep inside the bones and brought warmth from the inside.

Still, there was one thing that did not leave her be. A seed the God of Mischief had planted earlier, and that now stood very insistently between her and a state of utter bliss. That fucking Hermes. This would be the last time she would let him get into her head.

“Aidon, can I ask you something?”

He stopped humming immediately, but his fingers kept on playing.

“Anything.”

“What did you do to Minthe?”

The second the words had left her mouth, she knew she had messed up. They sounded all wrong and accusatory, designed to hurt, and when the music fell away, it was clear she had once again allowed herself to be nothing but a pawn in the cruel game of the gods.

“What did I…? Why would you think I did anything to her?”

The pain in his voice was unmistakable, still he did not raise it at her or push her away.

“I know it is probably just one of his tricks again and in a moment I will look like a fool, but Hermes insinuated that you removed her from the palace.” Her eyes fell to the ground, the next words coming in a whisper, “and that it was my fault.”

For a moment there was silence, heavy and even more painful than the hurt in his voice had been. But then Aidon moved, slowly he set the lyre aside, before he turned his full attention to her. The warmth of his palm against her cheek almost made her close her eyes, but she knew that now was not the time to look away.

“It’s true. I did send her away from the palace for a while. But it’s not your fault. Nothing you have done has led to this situation. It’s entirely between Minthe and myself.”

His words should have relieved her, still his last remark, however careful he had phrased it, stung and Anthea had to avert her gaze.

“Oh, I see.”

Tender lips pressed to her forehead.

“No, I don’t think you do. Minthe is in love with me, she has been for quite a while now, I believe, and even though the feeling is not mutual, I did something stupid, and I hurt her, deeply. Everything else is just a consequence of my negligence and has nothing to do with you. You’re just…”

Aidon stopped, obviously reluctant to tell her. But Anthea would not have that. Not now.

“I’m just what, Aidon?”

She knew what he was about to say long before the words had left his mouth, and yet she was not prepared in the least for the might of their impact.

“You just happen to be the one I am actually in love with. But that also is not your fault.”

“I see.” She could hardly suppress the unbridled smile that wanted to break free. “Just as much as it isn’t your fault that I am in love with you.”

“Right.” At first there was no hint of any emotion her confession might have sparked. Anthea even began to wonder if he had heard her at all, when a tiny hitch in his breath finally gave him away.

“Right.”

Her voice had been nothing more but a mere whisper. It would have been impossible to speak up anyway, for he had been so close already and then leaned in further still, and by the time his lips met hers again, it seemed like a miracle she had even been able to form a full word after all.

The kiss was deeper this time, more passionate, and she could taste the same need for more on his tongue that she felt in her own heart. Soon he pulled her closer against his chest while her hands wove into his hair to feel him closer still. It was magic, a bliss she had never known before.

He loved her. And she loved him. A truth so simple and yet so utterly unique. For what were the odds of finding someone who made you feel safe enough to give yourself to completely and for them to find in you the one person they felt the same about?

Anthea had no idea how much time had past. It did not matter. Nothing mattered as long as she felt his arms around her and heard the steady beating of his heart against her ear.

“Are you tired, love?”

“No,” she protested immediately. A weak protest, judging from the slur in her voice, and a soft yawn betrayed her even further. “Well, I might be, just a little. But I really don’t want to leave.”

“Who says you have to leave?”

The loss of his soothing heat hurt and she was inclined to scowl up at his now standing form, when she found a hand already waiting for her to take it and a smile so balmy it almost made up for the absence of his body against hers.

They did not have to walk far before Anthea found herself inside a room that was incomparable to anything she had ever seen before. Stunned by its sheer magnificence, she could do nothing but stare openmouthed at the splendour in front of her. It was not that it was pompous, on the contrary. In fact, it held nothing but a bed, huge but rather plain. And still it was inviting her to rest her head on the large, black pillows after slipping underneath the equally black covers.

What really made it stand out against any other room in this palace however, was the myriad of tiny little stars floating above the bed, twinkling magnificently while drowning out the cold blue that illuminated the rest of the Underworld.

“Do you think this will do?”

Would this do? It was perfect. Still she would have agreed to lie on the cold, hard ground if—

“If you’ll join me.”

Of course he did. And soon she found herself in the exact spot she had envisioned, her head gently resting on the fluffy pillow while Aidon held her close, limbs weaving together before they stopped moving altogether. Anthea could not remember a time when she had ever felt this complete, just existing. It was the last thought that crossed her mind before the world around her fell away and, like every night, she gave herself into the skilled hands of Hypnos.

Her senses had caught on to his distress long before she had fully returned from Hypnos’ dominion. Still, by the time she woke, her heart was racing as fast as his own, and she jolted from her sleep. Aidon was sitting next to her, his laboured breaths coming out in violent huffs.

“What’s wrong, darling?” she asked while sitting up next to him, one hand reaching out for his cheek to make him face her.

“Eurydice.”

“What about her?”

“She has returned.”

“Returned? But I thought—”

His face darkened, contorting into a grimace she had never seen on him. And when he spoke again, she knew exactly what it was.

“I should never have granted him his wish. I merely gave him a chance to disappoint twice, allowed him to distress poor Eurydice’s soul even more than she already was.”

“Aidon, please, none of this is your fault. You couldn’t possibly have known that he would fail her.”

“Couldn’t I? I knew who he was when I allowed him to guide her out of my realm. And to claim now that I didn’t suspect he would let her down would be lying to both of us.”

Anthea kept silent for a moment. And Aidon was glad she did. He could not stand facing her disappointment in him when his own disappointment in himself was almost killing him. He had been so stupid, allowing that weaselly Hermes to play him once more, not giving a care in the world that he would harm an innocent soul in the process.

He was surprised Anthea could even look at him. He had known it would come to this. Nothing good ever came from the line of the All-father. And still he had allowed it to happen anyway.

“What made you so sure he would fail her?”

Her voice made him look up again, the gentleness it still held, and that he now also found in the dark brown of her eyes. It almost made him blurt out the truth.

You did, he wanted to say, but he feared it would make him sound like a lunatic. Still it was true. He finally knew now what it meant to truly love someone and he was sure Orpheus would not have felt the need to turn if only he had loved his Eurydice the same way he loved Anthea.

But instead of telling her just that, he merely shrugged. “We all eventually do.”

Her eyes never once left his and he cold see her thoughts racing behind them. But then something about them changed. They were probing now, searching his own. For what, he could not tell yet.

“Will you fail me?”

He could not lie. Not to her. Not even if it meant that he would lose her forever.

“I would love to say I won’t. But that’s a promise not even the gods can make.”

He would have understood if she wanted to leave now. But she did not. Instead she came closer, pulling him down gently until his forehead rested against hers.

“Then promise me you’ll be gentle in failing me.”

“I promise.”

He meant it, with all his heart. And even if the truth tasted bitter, it was all drowned out by the sweetness of his kiss. It held even more honesty than his words and Anthea knew that if he could help it, he would do everything in his power to avoid letting her down.

With a sigh she sank back against the pillows, pulling him with her until she could feel the weight of his body against her own. Their lips never parted, not for a second, not even when their hands worked to free each other from the last barrier that stood between them. It was only the sensation of feeling him skin on skin that made her mouth fall open in a gasp.

“Aidon.”

“What is it, love? Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” she whined. Stopping was the last thing she wanted him to do. “It’s just…I’ve never…been with a man.”

He said nothing, but the soft brush of his thumb against her cheek bone encouraged her to go on.

“Will it hurt?”

“It usually does the first time, yes. But I can take the pain away.”

His hand never left her face, so she could not see what exactly it was that he did, but she could feel it. All of a sudden she felt a little lightheaded, the fear that had befallen her heart moments ago cleared from her mind completely, just for an instant, before he pulled his hand away.

She was quick to grab it and bring it to her lips to press a tender kiss to his fingertips. “Make love to me, Aidon.”

And he did, love speaking from every single touch, from every kiss and every moan that fell from his lips as he explored her body. It was only later that she realised it had been just as much for her sake than for his own. But she had enjoyed it all the same, had basked in his rising passion, in the way his hands had tended to her breasts, his lips had pressed to her skin and tasted her soft flesh with the same urgency that surged through her veins. She wanted to acquaint herself with his body just as much, rake her fingers through his chest hair, let them glide along his stomach and real in the shiver that followed in their wake. It was addictive and she never wanted to stop, wanted more, all of him and then keep it forever.

In her enraptured state, she had not felt his hand wander, but now that it slid in between her thighs, it was all she could concentrate on. He was careful but determined, venturing further until his fingers had found her womanhood. Softly he began to caress her, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Does that feel good?”

Good? Oh, fates, yes, it felt good. And so much more than that. But all she could muster was a silent nod, while wide eyes kept on holding his gaze. After a while she could feel moist heat collecting in her core, and her legs fell open with a needy moan. With every circle his fingers drew, he coaxed another heady sound of rapture from her mouth and soon they began to mix with his own as his head dipped down to steal a kiss from her slightly parted lips.

His touch was everything, almost overwhelming her inexperienced body, and yet it was not enough. For a while she tried to suppress the ardent wish that grew deep inside of her, tried to hold on and enjoy what he made her feel for just an instant longer, but she could not help it. She needed to feel him closer still, as close as he could get. She needed to be one with him. And from the way his hardened arousal pressed into her hip, she knew that he felt just the same.

And so she reached for his wrist and stopped his sweet caress. She had expected the confusion she now found on his face, the bewildered wrinkle of his forehead that spoke of his concern, but it eased away just as swiftly as it had appeared when she smiled up at him.

“Please, Aidon, I need you.”

He moved without protest, settling in between her legs, his body hovering above hers. Anthea could feel her heart speeding up with the first press of his head against her entrance. She needed to see him, wanted to look into his beautiful eyes, but his face was almost veiled from her by a curtain of wild curls that surrounded it. And so she reached up, her hands cupping his cheeks and brushing away his hair. He was so beautiful, the placid smile on his lips, the slight gleam in his eyes, and she thought she could not love him more when he turned his head a little and pressed a sweet kiss to the inside of her wrist.

Slowly he dove into the heat that awaited him. The unfamiliar stretch stung, but even before she could tell him, his hand was there, warm and soft against her stomach, and the pain subsided, leaving behind the insatiable desire to feel all of him.

On instinct her legs closed around his hips and pulled him all the way inside of her. A loud moan rose from the depths of his chest, sending a violent shiver through her, but he stayed perfectly still. It took him a moment to collect himself and another to taste her lips again before he finally moved.

Anthea had never felt anything even remotely similar to the sensations that flooded her whole being now. She felt strange, light, as if her soul was about to leave her body. Was this what dying felt like? The soul being at peace while the body was in unmatched agony. The sweetest kind.

It did not take long until the world around her was spiralling out of control. Or was it the world within her? Whichever it was, it was sending her into pure chaos, the same that had been before the beginning of all things. And like the cosmos, she emerged from the void, slowly, step by step, and then all at once, to be reborn in his arms.

Aidon felt the warm breeze of air crawling along his chest with every steady breath she took. She had fallen asleep in his arms a while ago, sated and blissed out, and he was sure that he had never seen anything more beautiful than her flushed face after they had both glimpsed Elysium together.

He could not tell how long it had been since she had slipped away from the world of the conscious, but he knew exactly how often he had debated with himself to kill the lights and let her rest in peace since then, but as always, it seemed impossible. There was only one thing he disliked more than darkness, and that was to disrupt the serene state she was in.

So, with just a flick of his fingers, the stars above them went out, and time seemed to stop. Strangely he felt even closer to her now, so close that in the darkness he felt like melting into her. Even in her subconscious state, it was as if she could feel it too, her body moving until her heart touched his and they became one for the second time tonight.

Darkness. He had never known it could hold such magic. The very darkness he had dreaded all his life. Because it was all he knew.

Like all beings, he had been eager to escape it on the day of his birth, to feel the sunlight touch his skin and fill him with its unmatched warmth, just to be confined to it again by the actions of his own father. After what had felt like a myriad of eternities, unable to even tell day and night apart, he had become sure that this was all his world would ever be. Darkness, and the distant voices of his siblings, wailing in despair and cursing their father for his cruelty. Then, as unexpectedly as it had come, the darkness had been split in two and the bright light that had fallen around his brother’s smirking face had almost blinded him.

In that moment, he had promised himself that there would never be darkness again, not even when Helios vanished behind the horizon and Nyx and Erebus took over to let night fall across the mortal realm. There had not been a single night in which he had dared to blacken the artificial stars above his bed. Especially not since he had come here, devastated that he had drawn the lot he had dreaded most and thus inflicted darkness upon himself yet again, safe in the knowledge that this time, there would be no escape from it.

From that moment on, he had had plenty of time to muse about it, and one day he had finally realised why darkness held such agonising power over him. It was because it heightened everything, isolated him, left him alone with himself until he came to see the very essence of himself. And that wasn’t always pleasant.

But in this very moment, the horrors of gloom seemed long forgotten. Nothing but a vague memory of a former life. And with the heaviness of his trauma lifted off his shoulders, he felt light as a feather, soaring blissfully in the void it had left behind. Because choosing to lie in complete darkness with her was something entirely different to the darkness that had been forced upon him all his life. And for once, it was not the truth of his own self that was waiting in the blackness of night. It was hers, ready to be explored, and he was eager to venture even deeper into darkness if it meant he would find her there.

He felt almost drunk from the absence of light now. Intoxicated to a point that it made him bold, more so with every passing moment, made him hungry for whatever it would reveal about her. He wanted to know it all, her light, her darkness, whatever it was that made her her. And once he knew, he would learn it by heart so that he would recognise every detail about her as if it was his own. Even in darkness. Even without turning to look at her.

Chapter 8

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#hades!hozier x ofc #hades!hozier #hozier #hozier fanfiction #greek mythology au #earth and fire

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teine-mallaichte · 16 days

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You know what irritates me in dragon age? Ok a few things but going to focus on one thing here, the languages... so we have all these diverse places, each with heir own fashions, customes, accents, etc but everyone speaks common (or trade which although in some codexes is said to be different seems to be basically treated interchangeably in the games).

Only a few places are said to be bi-lingual, implying that their own language is still used.

Also the inherent cultural differences between places are shown or mentioned and then totally forgotten about... In every game we get a diverse group of people with differing back grounds and yet there is almost never any language barrier of cultural misunderstandings, and even when they are they seem to be glossed over. Sten is about the only one I can think of where the cultural differences are even vaguely explored.

I want to see situations where characters are totally confused by what’s happening, where they don’t understand (or misunderstand) local phrases or dialects, where they fear making social forpars due to the inherent differences in their native societies or simply in their upbringings.

Alamarri died out in Ferelden and now everyone speaks trade and/or common, fine, ok. But in the real world when this sort of thing happens people often try to reclaim the language later, so there should be places where the language is still used, even if only for certain phrases like the elves use elvish. Or maybe there are scholars who still speak it? I used to live in Scotland, believe me although Gealic is a “dead” language people still use it in certain places and situations, same in Ireland, and in Wales there are signposts, TV channels, and radio shows in Welsh… It feels like Alamarri should definitely still exist and have some sort of presence. Ok as you may be able to tell from my user name I may be biased when it coems to this example...

But the same goes for Ander. I think Anders should have been able to speak it at the very least, and the fact that many of the Darkspawns name come from Ander should be seen as more of a thing. In a way it would make some sense for the Grey Wardens to be taught at least some Ander during training due to their history.

And Alsahiria, given the politics and history of Seheron it makes some sense for this language to be slowly dying out, but I feel it would still be spoken in remote areas and likely by members of the Fog Warriors. Some may even see the continuation of the language as a form of rebellion and carefully hold onto it. I wouldn’t be all that surprised in a fair number of slaves in Tevinter could speak it, using it as a way to communicate in secret.

Antivan… well to be honest Antiva is just fascinating in general, but their language is under used. It considered one of the most poetic and beautiful of Thedas, and yet it mainly only spoken in the rural and poorer areas. That seems like a shame… I mean yes the Codeses do imply that the higher members of society can and do speak it, but they also imply that in the cities common is almost exclusively spoken.

Did we even hear Zevren speak Antivan? I don’t remember him doing so, but I could be wrong.

I’m going to skip Avvar for now because there is a LOT to unpack there… same for Chasind and Ciriane.

The Drawves are said to have several languages, including Trade, and the language spoken specifically in Orzammar (often incorrectly referred to as Drawven), but to be honest I don’t think we know much about any of the Drawven languages… which is a shame.

Elvish is another complex one as it makes sense why that one is essentially lost beyond a few key terms and a few phrases known by the Dalish. However, I feel like it’s one that has potentially to be, at least partly, reconstructed… there are ancient elvish ruins and artifacts, though of course as with all reconstructed languages it would never be what it once was.

Qunlat, finally an actual language that although not used much is definitely a distinct language with significance and logical usage. We even get to hear it used a few times, though only for the odd word or line it at least makes sense.

Orlesian, again a language that is referenced and appears to be in regular use. It’s said that most Orlesians are bilingual. So it makes sense that they tend to use common around the player, but it feels like the language could be utilised more.

Rivaini… You know what we know far less about Riniani than I realised when I started this mild rant… They essentially have thie rown religion, and the only peaceful Qunari settlement that I can think of, but there’s language… very little seems to be mentioned. It would make sense that it is still spoken those given their general culture and identity, it is likely that they are bi-lingual in a similar way to Olaris.

Tevene… ok this one is my main bug bear… So it’s said in the codexes that Tevene is essentially a dead language, certain phrases still exist (many swear words) and it’s used by the elite as a show of status but everyone mainly speaks Trade – which once again is meant to be slightly different to common. But just look at Tevinter society, the idea that they don’t retain their language, or a modern variant, at least for things like ceremonies, ritual, and events seems unlikely. The most we really hear of Tevene in Fenris swearing. Which is another thing... The guy literally only has memories of being a slave and then been on the run (with a short period with the fog warriors in between) there really should be some serious cultural/social/linguistic barriers there.

This… this got away from me a little and escalated lol, but ye… this irritates me probably more than it should… and I haven;'t even ccovered ALL the lagunages. Anyway, i this I think is why I keep trying to crowbar language and cultural differences into AUs.

#dragon age #Thedas #DA:O #DA2 #DA:I #languages in thedas #culture in thedas #world building #just a random rant #bit of an info dump #yes i read all the codex #and the books #and the comics #this likely only bothers me #i may be a little TOO into the lore #I want to see the characters in dragon age experience language barriers and culture shock

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ingek73 · 5 months

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You can’t truly understand the royal race row unless you’ve felt the sting of skin tone bigotry

Georgina Lawton

The row over Omid Scobie’s new book has reignited a depressing debate about mixed-race identity, with our voices barely heard

Wed 6 Dec 2023 10.00 GMT

Meghan in a white coat and hat and Harry in a black suit and tie with military badges.

There are a few words and phrases I’ve muted on X (formerly Twitter) for a while, including: mixed-race, biracial, interracial relationship, and royal race row. But I would have had to have thrown my phone in the sea to avoid part two of the latter, involving Archie’s skin tone, Meghan and Harry’s unofficial biographer, Omid Scobie, and his new book, Endgame – in which the two royals who apparently commented on Archie’s skin colour before he was born were named in the Dutch-language version of the book (which was promptly pulped by the publisher).

I do sympathise – with Archie first and foremost, that is. Before he is even able to talk, his heritage has been loaded with meaning, his very existence described as progressive, transgressive, a step forwards or a step backwards, depending on whom you speak to. Being born into a story over which you have little control is a heavy load to bear. Many people of colour in white spaces and “mixed-race” people will relate.

To me, the most tedious part of this race row is the “is it racist, is it not racist” dance. While Meghan and Harry have yet to break their silence, Boris Johnson has declared that it is “not remotely racist” to query how dark a baby may be. Timeline trolls and rightwing thinkers repeat the same refrain. But rather than getting into this pointless back and forth, we need to think about why these kind of comments about skin tone are still being made in the 21st century; and those directly affected by these words need to express why, and if, it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Personally I’d quite like it if no one passed comment on my particular “mix” ever again – and I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Quite recently I was sharing a late-night taxi with someone who commented on the low “timbre” of my voice. He confidently put this down to the Nigerian side of my heritage and compared the voices of his mixed-Jamaican friends to his mixed-Nigerian friends, concluding that west Africans had voices like mine, and that I couldn’t “pass” for Jamaican. I shut this down quite quickly, but found myself tiptoeing around my language, lest he would feel that I was calling him racist – which would inflame the whole thing. I also had no backup.

I can definitely relate to having white people analysing one’s appearance or “phenotype” as a mixed-race person, trying to work out which aspect comes from the white side versus the black side. The comments are rooted in eugenicist-style thinking: they are ultimately a hallmark of darker days gone by when the justification of the subjugation of black people was rooted in proving their non-humanity. Whether or not there is ill-intent behind these kind of comments doesn’t really matter. The onus is on the person making them to educate themselves and make a pledge to do better.

Trying to empathise here is key. Many people will never really know what it’s like to be in a room full of people to whom you are related, or you know quite intimately, and overhear a remark that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and makes you wonder: do they think those things about me?

In my book Raceless, I wrote about experiences like this: the reality of being raised in all-white spaces when you are not white. Many people have written to me over the years, some of them multiracial, some of them not, to say they recognise the fatigue and mental anguish that comes from standing out in homogeneous settings. When Meghan spoke about her troubled time within the royal family and the racial minefields she walked through, I didn’t find it hard to relate – as I’m sure was the case with many others. But she was shut down, brandished a liar and a drama queen, and effectively forced out of the country by our mainstream press.

Many people of colour in white spaces and those of mixed backgrounds battle every day with the idea that their very existence represents a crossing of boundaries, a disruption of long-held beliefs around kinship and belonging. Your experiences and your skin shade can also be called into question by those with whom you share loving and intimate experiences.

Instead of pretending these instances don’t happen in modern Britain and in our families, we need to let those affected speak up when they do – to avoid repeating the same old mistakes.

Georgina Lawton is the author of Raceless: In Search of Family, Identity, and the Truth About Where I Belong

#meghan markle #georgina lawton #the guardian #prince harry #omid scobie #race #british royal family #royal race row

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jancys-blue-bayou · 2 years

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What did you mean when you said that S4 retcons stuff from S1? Like Vecna most likely being responsible for everything?

I mean the Lab flashbacks as a whole and how it feeds into Vecna/001. In s1 we see El refusing to use her powers on a cat, and Brenner then being completely shocked when she uses them on the guards instead. We see how she first hears the Demogorgon in the Void while she's on the express mission to try and find and listen into a Russian guy, as she is a project developed as a weapon in the Cold War. The sounds they hear makes Brenner curious and next time they make El go into the Void he treats it as a groundbreaking moment as they make first contact with another dimension. Brenner seems motivated by exploring this unknown thing, it's completely new groundbreaking scientific discoveries they're doing. He's also continuously amazed by El's powers (van flip). We see El barely speaking English and having an extremely limited grasp of normal social dynamics from being raised in a confined lab environment, throughout the season she basically learns how to function as a real person, not a lab experiment, through her escape into society and meeting the party. El's powers are inferred to have come from her mother being experimented on while pregnant.

In s4 they go "welp you know what El opened another interdimensional portal in 1979 and sent 001 there and Brenner knows how powerful she is but welp she fell into a coma after and conveniently got amnesia too and forgot not only that she sent 001 into another dimension but all her language skills, knowledge of social dynamics since apparently the lab was like a bullying schoolyard rather than the sterile lab environment shown in s1, and all memory of the other test subjects (but she starts to remember her mom and Kali in s2). Brenner says he always "sensed" that Henry was "out there somewhere". Henry apparently was born with his powers for no as yet motivated reason. All this retcons s1 to me. The amnesia coma excuse is a lazy retcon that's like straight out of some two dime daytime soap opera. It's not a Clever Dramatic Reveal. It's just Remember Season 1? Yeah We Didn't But Wanted To Write This Now Instead So Here You Go. Because with the amnesia coma excuse you can just do whatever. Yeah you can handwave it all you want with that Brenner doesn't directly negate anything he said in s1, that he may always had his 001 thing underlying the official mission to develop super spies, but watch s1 again, it's all played like that in the strive to develop weapons in the Cold War scientist discover ways to develop telekinesis in at least one special test subject and an unplanned side effect is that they accidentally discover another dimension, and out of scientific curiosity decides to make first contact. S1 Brenner does not appear to be "searching for Henry *somewhere out there*" they're trying to spy on the Russians and in doing so by accident discovers the Upside Down.

They also retcon Hawkins history with the whole Creel house thing. Yes they have the loophole that Hopper in s1 just listed when the last suicide and last missing person case was. But still, what's meant by that scene in s1 is that Hawkins is a small town where nothing remotely dramatic ever happens to the point where a child going missing and a man apparently committing suicide is enough to shake up the police chief and bring those facts up. Also it's so dumb that very inquisitive Nancy has apparently never heard of the Creel murders even though it would surely be local legend and the jocks in s4 refer to the Creel house as "the murder house" implying just that local legend, that somehow completely escaped Nancy fucking Wheeler.

They started messing up Hawkins in s3, like the proportions of the town. Like it's super weird when Nancy and Robin meet late in the season and Nancy explicitly doesn't know who Robin is — they go to the same high school and are in the same grade! I don't know if it's realistic for a town of Hawkins size to get a mall that size either but maybe it's not out of the realm of possibility, I don't know. Either way I feel like they lost the concept for how big or small Hawkins is in s3, like they started treating it as a bigger town than it is. Hawkins been estimated (by the size of downtown, town in general, there appearing to be only one middle school and high school etc) to have a population of about 10-15 000 people, idk to me it feels like they're trying to cram way too much in it in s3 and s4 with that in mind. But the Creel house takes the cake.

#stranger things

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papirouge · 10 months

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Did that anon really say it’s biblical to slaughter humans, leaving not women and children alive 💀 meanwhile the COMMANDMENTS BY GOD has us to not kill?? Clear as day for us to obey.

Sorry but this worship of violence christians have has to stop. It’s obvious how these people are blinded by Satans lies to justify their carnal desires. In the end times we are told that many lukewarm christians will be led astray by false prophets who are actual demons. Gun worship is demonic and gun culture is idolatry

Hm, to be honest, that's what one of the few things he got right actually 😅

The "Thou shall not kill" Old Testament commandment was for the Israelites treatments of each other (and yet, death penalty sanctioned by God for some sins, such as not respecting the Sabbath) but Israelites definitely had a God given license to kill (a good chunk of the OT are undless wars tbh). God occasionally told Israelites to even kill women and the child for when at war against specific countries, while for other He told to only kill (male) adults.

And yes, that's the same God we're worshipping today.

I think modern Christians have a very warped vision of who God is. Of course, Jesus happening revealed God Grace and Mercy - but God is also a God of Judgement and Punishment. Especially of His own people. For example I'm baffled that so many Christians seem to ignore that God sentenced to death Moses for disobeying/sinning, even after Moses repented(!!) 😭 But God judgement was done: Moses was sanctioned to never see the Promised Land and God ordered him to go up some mountain where he would die (actually almost all Hebrews died in the desert -minus Jacob and Caleb- because of of their disobedience) And it didn't stop at the OT : the God struck dead Ananias and Saphira (companions of Peter) for lying to the Holy Spirit 🥴 God doesn't play.

And that's also why all the people saying "once saved always saved" are liars because both Ananias & Saphira well saved and yet God still killed them for their sin¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

God hates sin as much as He did back then. So much that people caught disrespecting them was worth death. That's why Jesus got crucified btw. Blood had to be spilled to repay the blood we owed to God for sinning. That's why we owe so much for Jesus who literally sacrificed himself for us to not bear the fate we actually deserved for our sin (eternal death in hell).

But where this user got everything wrong is that you can't feel entitled to Israelites prerogative (using violence) while feeling entitled to CHRISTIAN mercy. WE ARE NOT THE ISRAELITES. God deported the Jews. The Temple got destroyed. Jesus fulfilled the Law. We don't have a land to defend because huh Christians are dispatched across the whole world on different countries, speaking different languages, different political regime (that's why US Americans invoking politics/Constitution/ civil law in their BIBLICAL defense of gun carrying are very stupid - like...it's scary how stupid they are to think such things are remotely relevant to other Christians anywhere else in the world), etc. So WHY cherry picking one Israelite prescription? Remember, disobeying 1 commandment of the law is like disobeying the WHOLE Law.

So yeah, if those gun toting Israelite LARPers want to access the prerogatives of Israelites, they better obey to the same commandments: do the Sabbath (no light, can't get past a given distance from their home), stone adulterers, circumcise their son, not eating pork, pay the tithe....and all the other 600+ commandments of the Law. Oh and they also better keep Jesus out of their mouth since Jesus fulfilled the Law and there's no point to invoke Jesus while still entertaining the very same things He precisely came to put an end to🙃

They can't pick and chose what they want from the Law while leaving out the rest. That's how you know how wack the theology of those people are. And it's tragic how many people get fooled by this. false doctrine. Interestingly enough, they will never answer to this question:

if Jesus refused to defend himself/use violence out of obedience to the Father, what makes you think you can? Where does the entitlement of disobey a commandment that Jesus himself followed come from??

If you're interested I made a very throughout debunking of the pro gun Christian stance on my Christian side blog

#answered #Christian

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marine-indie-gal · 2 years

Photo

(Made Another Love Interest For Another Obscure Character that is yet Another Version of an Existing Mythical Deity). If any of you SpongeBob Fans remember the Episode, "The Clash of Triton", you might remember that Neptune has a Son named Triton (Who is based on the Actual Son of Poseidon/Neptune and Amphitrite/Salacia from the Myths, Triton). Consider that I am one of the few people who enjoys that Episode despite on how shit-written it was like Sponge on The Run, it's one of my Guilty Pleasures because I love how it's meant to be yet another Parody of Greco-Roman Mythology and that we were introduced to the Show's version of Neptune's Wife and Son. Did most of you guys actually know that the Original Triton has a Wife? There aren't really many drawings nor pictures shown of Triton and his Wife (who's named "Libya") together, which is why I have decided to put an Obscured Nereid from Mythology who is not really most commonly known. So here is my very own personal take on Libya (One of the Daughters of the Ocean Titan, Oceanus). In my version of Her, she is not Oceanus' Daughter but instead the Daughter of a Peasant Mermaid Couple and even the Girlfriend of King Neptune's Son. Libya is a Very Smart, Kind, and Shy Teenage Mermaid who seems to be very clever at heart and knows how to take responsibilities. She cannot really speak because she was born Mute (without a Voice), so she uses Sign Language to let folks know on what she's saying. She is a very hard-working Mermaid who learns how to learn and even do her Homework, She and Triton knew each other when they were Kids at the time meaning that they've been Childhood friends ever since that her own Father brought his Daughter to work and even introduced Libya to King Neptune and even Prince Triton. Libya had a Playdate with The Prince as the Two Hung out together that Day. Triton explains to her that he would wish to get to know everything that Mortals know of since he was fascinated by the Bikini Bottom while Libya (despite the fact that she can't speak and was born without a voice) even wished that she could have a voice on her own, when it came into understanding Sign Language, she taught Triton on how to understand people who have No Voices by using Sign Language with Hands. The Two even went into the Same School together when they were kids. As the Years went by, Triton somehow grew into a Reckless and Rebellious Bad Boy which made Libya somehow start to fall in love with him despite their opposites, Libya was always a Good Girl who looked Girly Things while Triton was a Bad Boy who was into Boys stuff. When she heard that her Boyfriend was locked up in a Cage upon a Remote Island, Libya felt very heartbroken and feared in the first place that she could not ever see her Crush again even after when Neptune locked up his Son. However, she had her Parents' Permission as she would often visit the Island to see her Boyfriend as the Two would talk and still spend time together. Triton really missed being down there as Libya was very supportive of her Boyfriend, despite on how different he was from his Father. Upon such sort notice, she meets SpongeBob when he was asking for directions to where the Island is as she helps him out to free her Boyfriend. But when Triton caused chaos upon the Bikini Bottom as a Revenge for being locked up in a cage thanks to his Dad, Libya tried to stop her Boyfriend for causing damage around the land as she makes him remember the Good times that they had together (especially the moments for when they were kids) as Libya kisses Triton while she was in Tears, meaning as a sign that she loves him. Triton and Neptune apologized to each other as Neptune felt remorse for punishing his Son for no reason since Triton completely forgotten about believing the things that he used to want to learn about the Mortals since Libya reminded him as Neptune now accepts his Son as Triton now returns to his Kingdom while He and Libya were now considered to be the Future Roman King and Queen of the Seas for their Own Future. Basically, she's what you would expect; A Polar Opposite of the Love Interest. If you're wondering on how I heard about the name, "Libya" I searched up on who Triton's Wife was from the Original Mythology and apparently she is not really quite well known in stories (much like Triton despite being Poseidon's Most Famous Son) and since there is no drawing nor depiction of Her, I instantly wanted to draw out on how she would look if she appeared in the Show (And this could be my very first depiction of Her despite on how No One else ever drew her out on their own version and I was the one who had to do it). I'd also like to thank my friend, @djinarocks for helping Me out on how her character would be if she was in "The Clash of Triton". Libya (c) Greco-Roman Mythology SpongeBob SquarePants (c) Stephen Hillenburg SpongeBob Depiction of Libya (c) Me

#spongebob squarepants #spongebob oc #oc #Greek Mythology #Roman Mythology #Greco-Roman Mythology #libya

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lovemesomesurveys · 1 year

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Any recent purchases? I gave my mom some money to grab a few things I wanted from the store recently.

Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Yes.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? I have.

Do you still have both of your parents? Yes, and I’m so very grateful for that.

Do you live very far away from Kansas? I mean, yeah. I’m in California, which is very far west and Kansas is in the middle.

Do you enjoy cuddling? I honestly don’t have much cuddling experience.

Do you play video games? Yeah, sometimes. It’s been awhile, though.

How many colors are in your hair right now? My hair is entirely my natural hair color right now. I actually hate it, I miss my red hair so much.

Do you have your full license yet? I don’t have my license.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? I do.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? I’m single.

Do you prefer winter or summer? Winter all the way. I dread summer.

Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Yes.

Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? I don’t mind a little PDA, but not too much.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yeah, several times.

Where are your siblings as of now? My younger brother is at his boyfriend’s house and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What color shirt are you wearing as of now? It’s light blue.

What is your favorite class? I’m not in school anymore, but I always loved English. I also liked most of my psych courses.

Are you in love with someone right now? No.

Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak a little Spanish.

Do you take a lot of photos? No. Definitely not of myself. I take screen shots or save photos to my phone more than I take any.

When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? I suppose so.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope.

Where do you download music from? I haven’t downloaded music since like 2012. I just use Spotify to listen to music.

Have you ever cheated on someone before? No.

Have you ever attempted suicide? No.

Do you know what ‘irony’ means? I do.

How many pillows do you normally sleep with? A few.

Do you lose your remote often? No, it’s always next to me.

Have you ever skipped class before? Yeah, I did sometimes in college. I didn’t make a habit of it or anything and I always did my work and got whatever I missed.

Are you a regular school skipper? No, like I said I didn’t make a habit of it. I never understood how some people would only come on exam days.

Do you have any Pay-per-View channels? Is that even a thing anymore?

Who, in your life, makes you feel discouraged? Just myself.

When was the last time you went bowling? Almost 15 years ago.

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? --

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No, but I like doing the appetizers.

Is there anything bothering you right now? There’s a few things bothering me. There always is.

Would you like to talk to someone about it? I briefly did earlier about some of it with my mom.

Do you live by any major bodies of water? Yes, the Pacific ocean.

Do you tend to make the first move in a relationship? No.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? I do.

How many times have you been to Disney World, if any? Never, sadly. I’d love to go. I’ve been to Disneyland several times, though, which I love.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? No.

Have you ever been accused of being on drugs when you weren’t? No.

Do you have a more quiet or loud voice? I’d say I have a quiet voice. People often need me to repeat myself and speak a little louder.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Not that I know of.

When was the last time you got a shot? Uhhh. I don’t even remember, it’s been a long time.

Can you play any instruments? If so, what are those instruments? No. I wish I could.

Do you have any diseases? No, but I have other health issues. Some of them are chronic.

Have you ever been into a car accident? No, fortunately.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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purplesurveys · 11 months

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1688

Any recent purchases? I got sooooooooo much pasalubong from my Thailand trip that I’ve barely spent anything on my current Malaysia trip, lol. But besides vacation expenses, the last big purchase I did was my new sneakers.

Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Well yes, many times. I wasn’t exactly the healthiest person mentally not too long ago.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? Nope. I haven’t finished any of the movies, then book-wise I stopped at around the fifth book.

Do you still have both of your parents? I do.

Do you live very far away from Kansas? VERY far.

Do you enjoy cuddling? Sure, it’s cute. I haven’t done it in a while though.

Do you play video games? Just basic, family-friendly ones. I can never finish those that actually have a storyline, aka a good 90% of video games haha; I leave that skill to my sister and dad.

How many colors are in your hair right now? I just had it dyed earlier this month so the purple is still extremely dominant and vibrant and I don’t see much black growing back just yet.

Do you have your full license yet? As opposed to an...incomplete(?) license? Hahaha in any case yes I have my driver’s license. Kinda need it on me at all times as I drive a lot and you never know what establishments would ask an ID from me.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? Yes. Well all Filipinos have dark brown eyes anyway, so it’s not like we have a lot of wiggle room as far as physical features.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? I’m not seeing anyone.

Do you prefer winter or summer? I wanna pick out winter even though I’ve never experienced it, just because I like feeling cold and I know what summer feels like (aka not pleasant).

Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Hmm. I don’t think so. Maybe just from gossip that goes around but I’ve never been invested to care or to stalk deep enough to figure out if it’s true.

Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? It’s whatever. I have the choice to look away if I think the couple looks gross. Otherwise, you do you. Love away!

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? I have not, and the thought terrifies me. What do you mean they’ll slice me open and I won’t even feel it? 😭

Where are your siblings as of now? They’re in their respective rooms in our Airbnb, most likely sleeping as it is currently 1:40 AM.

What color shirt are you wearing as of now? It’s white.

What is your favorite class? I’m not in school anymore but I always looked forward to history. Back in college I had a bit of freedom in terms of electives I could choose, and I made it a point to make most of them history majors classes, hehe.

Are you in love with someone right now? Nopes.

Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? I’m fluent in both English and Filipino. I can understand extremely basic spoken Spanish and Korean, but I’d be a lot better reading either language.

Do you take a lot of photos? Nah. The only time I whip out my phone camera is if I’m going through an extremely new experience, which doesn’t happen a lot anyway. Topline examples: my Yoongi concert and ongoing vacations in Thailand + Malaysia.

When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? Yes. And the Asian way of healing wounds and bruises – blowing on them, lol.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Not at all.

Where do you download music from? I use Spotify; I haven’t downloaded music in more than a decade.

Have you ever cheated on someone before? Never.

Have you ever attempted suicide? Yes more times than I can count.

Do you know what ‘irony’ means? Yes, but I will say the word sometimes still confuses me...it’s the reason I just opt to never use it in sentences hahahaha.

How many pillows do you normally sleep with? Two is more than enough.

Do you lose your remote often? I don’t really use remotes anymore. I can control stuff using my phone anyway.

Have you ever skipped class before? Yeah, mostly in college. If the class felt like a chore more than anything, I usually didn’t hesitate to cut if I felt lazy.

Are you a regular school skipper? I wouldn’t say I was a regular skipper, though I did have my fair share of cuts. In my school you had a max number of cuts before the prof failed you, and in most cases it was like 6 cuts per class – and for each class, I just budgeted those cuts across the semester. Like I never went over, but I didn’t waste those free absences either hahaha.

Do you have any Pay-per-View channels? No, we haven’t even had cable since the pandemic. We canceled our subscription and ever since then we’ve just been using YouTube, Netflix, and Disney+ to watch stuff on the TV.

Who, in your life, makes you feel discouraged? Nobody.

When was the last time you went bowling? Years ago.

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? Don’t have one.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? I don’t celebrate that.

Is there anything bothering you right now? It’s our last day in Malaysia and everything goes back to normal for me tomorrow...eugh. The feeling is gross. My overall trip (including my stay in Bangkok) the last two weeks taught me a couple of things about how to live my life though...here’s hoping that feeling will be sustained even well after I’ve returned to Manila.

Would you like to talk to someone about it? No, I would rather process it by myself.

Do you live by any major bodies of water? Yeah, the Pacific Ocean + West Philippine Sea.

Do you tend to make the first move in a relationship? Historically, yes. I am not opposed to doing so again.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? As much as I can, especially when my dad is home.

How many times have you been to Disney World, if any? None.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Yes.

Have you ever been accused of being on drugs when you weren’t? Never.

Do you have a more quiet or loud voice? I use my louder voice more often, but I definitely know how to whisper. I point this out because I know so many people who only know how to speak loudly and seem to not know how to modulate their voice lol.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot? Last April when I was getting followup shots after Cooper bit me in the face.

Can you play any instruments? If so, what are those instruments? Nope.

Do you have any diseases? No.

Have you ever been into a car accident? Yeah but they’ve all been relatively minor. I have never gotten hurt, fortunately.

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penname-artist · 2 years

Note

Kinda curious if you have any of your own headcanons of my ocs (i.e. Lucky, C4NIN3 and Boris lol) 🤔

😳 *My* headcanons for your characters? Oooo...I feel like this is a power I shouldn't have at my disposal... XD

This is less my "actual headcanons" and more of my "vague assumptions based on what I know of the characters"

Also it's mostly just Lucky because d a m n XD

I think Lucky dresses in a lot of very feminine clothing (I guess the correct term is or was cross-dressing, but I'm not sure if people still use that term XD) particularly around the house, just because he feels pretty in it. (Truly though, can you imagine how adorable and sexy he'd look in a lil' maid outfit)

He can probably pick up any game with relative ease. Take pool for example, he's probably never played before and sees people betting, and, being intelligent and a little materialistic (c'mon man he just is XD) he probably watches a couple turns and learns to pick it up almost instantly.

He probably also commits a lot of little unseen frauds, taking fractions of pennies from businesses that very quickly add up to a whole heck of a lot more than fractions of pennies. And that's the kind of thievery that's easier since he can do it remotely. Something to pad the wallet around the major steals.

Speaking of their income, I've been trying to figure out what they're really using all that money for, because if they're hitting up places regularly they're gonna be making a LOT, enough to be swimming in the stuff like a rich duck (if you get that reference, kudos). Aside from paying off their home, owning nice expensive furnishings and eating like kings, I know that C4NIN3's got an explensive-clothing-ripping fund (it's fine I'm sure Lucky has multiple versions of the same outfits so C4NIN3 can tear them off to his heart's content). And maybe a lot of the cash gets repurposed into their steals, paying for others to ensure their tracks are covered and keeping their identities pretty well shuffled up and impossible to trace.

I've been trying to figure out what their interior style is sorta like, and for some reason the one style that always keeps coming back to me is like, vintage cottagecore?? I don't even know why that, but like I think it would make their home very quaint and humble yet also incredibly valuable.

I feel like C4NIN3 maybe reads a lot. That's a thing some quiet people prefer lol

Speaking of C4NIN3 do you think that he races?? Again on the whole betting and winning thing I feel like it would be very easy for them to get into drag racing and kick ass. You got one man to be the brawn and one to be the brain, I don't think it would be hard to do at all, maybe as a side hobby XD

Okay okay I'll talk about someone else now I swear. I feel like Boris' love language is mostly to do with gifts of service? "Here I made you food" or "look I fixed this thing for you". Other love languages don't seem to strike as hard so I figure his way of showing affection is in being a useful asset to them?

I think he turns into a gremlin when sleep deprived. Avgustin pokes him and all he gets is a hiss XD

#these characters all belong to Mac #I don't own them!!!#Lucky #C4NIN3 #Boris #Avgustin

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suckitsurveys · 10 months

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Any recent purchases? I just bought a shirt for my Billie Eilish Lolla outfit, earrings and a bracelet for my Barbie Cafe outfit, and a clear backpack for both days I’m at Lollapalooza.

Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Yup. In college it was the worst.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? "You made me watch all the Harry Potter movies. I don’t even like Harry Potter.” “That’s insane! You’ve seen all 8 movies!” (Also, I’ve only seen the first one and read half of the first book).

Do you still have both of your parents? I don’t. I lost my mom 10 years ago this month.

Do you live very far away from Kansas? Not VERY far. Would take maybe 8-10 hours to get there.

Do you enjoy cuddling? I do.

Do you play video games? Meh.

How many colors are in your hair right now? My natural hair color and a faded pink/blonde color.

Do you have your full license yet? Yes.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? Yes.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? Nope.

Do you prefer winter or summer? Summer.

Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Yes.

Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? I don’t care one way or the other, unless its really aggressive.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Nope.

Where are your siblings as of now? I really don’t fucking care.

What color shirt are you wearing as of now? It’s purple.

What is your favorite class? I’m not in school anymore.

Are you in love with someone right now? Yes.

Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? Not fluently.

Do you take a lot of photos? Sure.

When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? Yeah.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Yes.

Where do you download music from? I use Spotify; I haven’t downloaded music in more than a decade.

Have you ever attempted suicide? I came very close to it.

Do you know what ‘irony’ means? Yes.

How many pillows do you normally sleep with? Three.

Do you lose your remote often? Nah.

Have you ever skipped class before? Oh yes.

Are you a regular school skipper? In college for sure. There was a whole semester where my mom would drive me and drop me off and I’d just walk to the train and ride it back and forth until it was time for her to pick me up because I fucking hated college so god damn much it almost killed me.

Do you have any Pay-per-View channels? No..

Who, in your life, makes you feel discouraged? My fucking sister and her fucking husband.

When was the last time you went bowling? It’s been a while.

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? No.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? I make mashed potatoes and a homemade green bean casserole (like, we even make the mushroom soup and the french fried onions from scratch).

Is there anything bothering you right now? I’m feeling such a crummy way about my sister right now. I feel completely lost about what to do. She’s treating me more like a babysitter than a sister. She’s treating me like my ex friend treated me and I keep thinking about just walking away from her but I couldn’t do that to my nieces. It’s such an awful feeling.

Would you like to talk to someone about it? I have.

Do you live by any major bodies of water? Yes, Lake Michigan.

Do you tend to make the first move in a relationship? As in, starting one? No. Making the first move as in initiating something sexual? I’d say its about half and half.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? Blah.

How many times have you been to Disney World, if any? Zero with no plans on ever going.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Yes.

Have you ever been accused of being on drugs when you weren’t? Never.

Do you have a more quiet or loud voice? Soft.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot? A year or so ago when I got a Covid booster.

Can you play any instruments? If so, what are those instruments? Not well.

Do you have any diseases? Probably.

Have you ever been into a car accident? Very minor fender benders.

#surveys

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shacchou · 1 year

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11﹕ a text sent from across the room . // @aoiinome

It wasn’t every day that he attended a corporate event where he was not the central figure. Despite the vast number of business associates and high-profile personalities on his contact list, his presence at events that were not hosted by Kaiba Corporation usually limited to those related to charity. After all, where he to attend every event he was invited to, he would have no time left to run his company. Never mind the fact that he wasn’t particularly interested in a vast majority of other companies’ products, that posed not even a remote threat or competition to his company.

But today was one of those rare occasions. And even rarer was the fact that he, the CEO of Kaiba Corporation, was attending an event hosted by Aoi Group. Rumors of the de-escalation of hostilities between the two companies were spreading like wildfire, but the surprised stares he had received thus far showed that many were still skeptical, perhaps even certain about the unlikelihood of such détente between companies. And with good reason, for Kaiba Seto was not exactly known for his leniency or tendency to forgive. He had crushed other companies and led them to bankruptcy for much less than what Aoi Group had done.

His presence there, though, was perhaps the most evident sign of the truth behind those rumors. A firm step taken to ironing out rough edges, so to speak. The terms of his current agreement with Aoi Group’s CEO were not of public knowledge, but he wasn’t about to construct nor perpetuate some make believe feud only to cater to public consensus.

As if compelled by some unseen force, blue eyes surveyed the crowd until they found her, standing at the other side of the room, engaged in conversation. His gaze had followed that exact same path several times now, but under no circumstances would he ever admit to such. And yet, the motive behind the continuous looks was only logical. He had no reason to believe Kisara had managed to get much –if any– sleep after she drove her to her apartment the night before, following a meeting that forced her to relive the loss of her father and the subsequent betrayal she had undergone. Perhaps his ability to empathize with others was far from remarkable, but he would be a fool to ignore the emotional toll that this entire journey against Tetsuya was taking on her. Despite their interactions of late being nothing short of formal, he knew that, while this was a matter of retribution to him, to her it was much more personal.

His attention came back to her when he noticed that the conversation had ended, his gaze silently reading her body language. The way the fingers of her right hand clenched her clutch bag, while the other hand took a piece of her hair, twirling it around her finger...

She was nervous. It wasn’t surprising, considering this was the first external event she hosted as CEO, and therefore, besides some past and more private interviews, the first time she would give a speech in front of a wide audience as the head of her company. He imagined the presentation would be simple enough. An upgrade of an already existing product, from what he’d heard. Though if truth be told, he knew no more about it than what been published by the media, along with the scarce information made public by the company itself. And his current agreement with Kisara hardly included privileged access to the specifics of the projects they were presently working on.

Before he so much as realized what he was doing, his hand had reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, his finger moving smoothly over the screen.

What did he know of words of reassurance and other forms of encouragement ? Certainly not much. This was reflected in the concise words he wrote; a text message to her and a rare gesture on his part prompted by some unknown reason that he chose not to dwell on. Once written, he stared at the screen for a few seconds, his finger hovering over the ‘send’ button as if deciding whether it should be sent or immediately deleted— before finally sending it.

【 ✉ ⇢ 今村キサラ】: You’ll do fine.

His gaze lifted, noticing how, across the room and almost immediately, Kisara paused and opened her handbag, pulling her own phone out after seemingly noticing the incoming message.

At that exact moment though, the sound of his name being said forced his eyes away from her, his attention momentarily stolen by one of his longtime business associates who approached him, intent on making conversation.

#aoiinome #/ he can be almost sweet when he actually tries #in his own way of course #❛ ♔// ic; [ 社長 ]

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lunaa-and-theworld · 2 years

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at times i get annoyed with my mother's inability to do simple tasks. why cant you find the remote? why do i have to write out text messages for you? why are you always giggling and getting in my space. but as time went on and i grew older, i understood. my mother. my mother. my mother. born to get married and serve her husband. born to have children and repress her dreams and ambitions. born to leave everything she knew behind. born to marry a man she doesn't love and one who doesn't love her back. one day she told my sister she never wanted kids. she herself was a child still. being whisked away to a foreign country with different ideals customs and traditions. with no knowledge of how to speak or how to act. yet she obliged and had children. though she never wanted them. though she hates them. when she gets angry and begins to yell, i know it is my fathers voice coming out of her. so when i look at her through the window as i stand outside reading and she does silly little peace signs and hearts and wants to talk about boys and flowers, i smile to myself. i allow her to be the child she was never able to be. speak of dreams she was never able to pursue. when she can't spell a word i think back to my native language and how i stumble and stutter when i speak. and how she patiently corrects me. she never made me feel stupid for not knowing . she says it's practice, and being too embarrassed to try will make me forget how to speak at all. i tell her of how my father and aunt smirk or laugh when i mix up my wording. she furrows her brows and tells me i am stronger than that. too strong to listen to their pathetic words. that a man lets a woman feel stupid as he too is incompetent, but too prideful to admit it. i smile and say thank you. when my father looks at my mother as she makes a mistake, i tell him that she is a human. that just like he always makes mistakes and expects us to gloss over it, we should do the same for her. and when he looks at me with a face that says i am the dumbest person alive i square my shoulders and put up my walls. i do not want the same fate as my mother. and when she cries into my shoulder and i hold her like she is glass- just waiting to break- and i want to tell her to just "get over it", i remember how i wished she could've done this to me when i cried. and i remember how her mother is no longer with her. i hold her because she is an orphan. i have now become her safe haven. i whisper sweet words and tell her how proud i am of her and shed a tear. i pretend it is myself i am holding. and so when she is angry at the world, at her fate, and proceeds to complain and carry negative energy, i allow her. because i know that every man and friend she has talked to told her to suck it up. to stop being emotional. to stop being dramatic. and to be quite honest, i don't care for half the things she talks about. but for her, for my mother, for the woman who raised me even though she never wanted to, i pretend to be interested. maybe this is my form of repentance. to atone for the fact that i was born and took away her dreams. my cleaning lady says she always talks to herself, and i feel my heart being ripped out of my chest. i do not have the heart to say it is because no one has ever given her a chance to speak and be heard. and when the night is so dark i cannot see my fingers, i pray that she, in another life, is picking the flowers she always talk about in a garden without a care and is living the life she's always aspired to live. even though i know i am not apart of that dream. i pray and pray and pray. for even though i know she loves me, i’m not quite sure if she likes me. but i forgive her. i hope she forgives me to.

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none-gender-left-man · 2 years

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It took me a lot of sitting back to figure out where I stand on this, I had to confront my own reactivity and almost fell off the wagon a bit, but after really thinking on it and confronting my own negative biases I need y'all who are throwing fits about "able bodied" ND ppl using cripple to take into consideration that ND conditions aren't somehow removed from the body. The brain is a material organ not some nebulous metaphysical entity.

I am clinically physically disabled, but even if I wasn't in the ways I am, would I not have the right to call myself a cripple when I dissociate and lose control of my body for hours or even days? That doesn't "count"? Why? Because it's isolated to the brain in origin? Even though it clearly has a material affect on the physiological body? Even though it unequivocally devastates the way I am able to interact with the world? I never heard anyone say neurological disorders "don't count bc it's from your brain". That's bc they have physiological impact, right? Why is it different when it's mental?

What about the fact that even things as common as anxiety and depression DO have long term physical effects on cardiac health among droves of other things? The long term effects of anxiety that can cause hypertension independent of any other condition? Why are y'all so obsessed w this strawman idea of "the able-bodied ppl with anxiety want to steal our slurs!!!!" Why do you presume to know the qualia of their life and MindBody experience better than they do? How do you KNOW they're "able bodied"?

Why do you presume anxiety and depression (or any mental disability) has no physiological toll?

What about people with mental disabilities that prevent them from speaking not due to any neurological or physiological reason? Where is the line between the body and mind in their dysfunction? Can anyone at all clarify or quantify this??? No. You can't. Their MENTAL disability prevents them from a PHYSICAL action, independent of a clinical physiological disability, yet they are STILL physically experiencing disability.

What about eating disorders that are inherently tied to both body and mind that WILL end in fatality if untreated?

You're building strawmen again, y'all.

Other disabled people aren't your enemy and mad pride has its place, you're right about that- but mad pride does not cover everything that a mental disability causes PHYSICALLY for every subject. Mad pride works to convey a pride in your lack of "sanity", but it conveys nothing related to how that affects the body. For those whose mental disability is intrinsic to their physical health it is not even remotely fair to gatekeep this word. To tell them their health symptoms aren't "enough". This is no better than the debate that tried to claim that chronic health and autoimmune disability should be 100% separate from other disabled people in the movement. This is no better than the people who tell me I can't claim cripple because I'm not a 24/7 wheelchair user. This is useless semantics.

Compartmentalizing the movement into multiple neatly categorized folders, further pathologizing and dividing ourselves, weaponizing trauma against one another, and acting out lateral violence does nothing. We work better as a god damn unit.

To ignore that mental disability can and usually does cause physically disabling effects without the presence of a "physical disability" is sanism and ableism. It's yet another way to gaslight ND ppl into a corner and frame them as attention seeking hypochondriacs. Congrats for joining the war on ableism on the side of ableism.

It's disappointing to see some people who's takes on transandrophobia I respect completely slipping.

How can you recognize in the context of another form of oppression that policing the use of language in theory like this is useless distracting semantics- but then turn around and pull the same shit w disability activism?

I am psychotic. I am a dissociative system. I am autistic. I have hEDS, NCAH, dysautonomia, and more. I belong to both of these communities and I don't want to see us tear each other apart for fuck's sake.

Learn to address when you're being reactionary!!!! I get where y'all came from with this but it doesn't mean it's right just because I understand it and almost fell into your logic myself at first. Y'all need to do what I did, identify your reactionary impulses, and SQUASH THEM.

We thrive together. If we tear one another part, the ableist and sanist system will simply laugh at us for self sabotaging, because we'll have served their goal.

Mindlessly jumping on the next wave of "YOU ARENT [BLANK] ENOUGH" discourse is almost always the wrong fucking move.

I want you all to take into consideration how truly debilitated and incapable of functions (INCLUDING PHYSICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL) some ND ppl are, even without a clinical "physical disability".

Because of my mental disability I'm less able to seek help for my physical disability because my being insane means I'm a "hypochondriac" that's not worth testing or taking seriously.

You are all very eager to forget that a lot of people who are mentally disabled are less likely to be given proper clinical care for physical symptoms, are more likely to be dismissed, and are more likely to go undiagnosed in many areas of health. You're not even considering that a large portion of these people also very likely HAVE clinical disabilities that they're not aware of yet and are actively experiencing symptoms of, and that them being brought into the cripple community with welcome arms could help THOUSANDS find answers and seek better care that they're being denied bc of sanism and ableism. You're too focused on feeling threatened and undermined to realize you're throwing your own under the bus materially.

Mental disability IS physical disability because the brain is a physical part of you. The mind isn't somehow alienated from the physical body. You can be physically disabled without a clinical physiological disability. If your mental disability impacts your physical capabilities, you are physically disabled even in the absence of a clinical physiological disability. You can claim cripple if you are physically impacted by disability of any kind. Period.

- sincerely a pissed off insane cripplepunk 🙃

Bad faith gets blocked.

#mad pride #cripplepunk #disability #mind body dualism #intersectionality #actually disabled #mad punk #neuro punk

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neocityjs · 3 years

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Clingy - LJN

Pairing: boyfriend!jeno x reader

Genre: a lil angst, fluff

Warnings: established relationship, Haechan is a bit annoying in this one I’m sorry (Haechan best boy)

Words: 3k

Summary: hurt after hearing your boyfriend and his friends calling you clingy, you decide to show them how not clingy you can be.

A/N: everything is fictional, including the characters’ traits. English is not my first language, therefore I’m sorry for the errors.

Movie nights with your friends were your favorites.

Well, it’d be more correct for me to say “with your boyfriend’s friends”, since you didn’t know them before meeting Jeno. But that doesn’t matter, because in no time you managed to bond with everyone, especially the clumsy yet adorable kid, Jisung, and the loving caffeine addicted boy, Jaemin.

Movie nights with your friends consisted in you eight – even though today you were only seven since Mark was out with some of his friends – sprawled on one couch – don’t ask me how, but all of you always manage to fit in since no one wants to sit on the carpet – with a blanket covering you and some snacks passing between. Those represented some of those moments you swear you would cherish for all your life.

Tonight seemed to be no different. Jeno had come picking you up at 7 p.m., you spent some time together, walking around, talking and giggling like usual, and you dropped at his house where other five – well, four boys (Jaemin lost to rock paper scissors so he had to go shopping for snacks) – were waiting for the both of you. Donghyuck always got to choose the movie you would watch, not without complaints from every one of you, yet at the end you’d always like what he picks, but Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that.

And there you were, all sprawled on the couch – though not in a very comfortable position –. You had already seen the movie which was playing loudly on the TV, hence you decided to pay more attention to your boyfriend instead. You were all cuddled up with him: he was hugging you, stroking your back from time to time. Your head was on his shoulder while your hand rested on his chest. Sometimes you couldn’t help but leave a furtive and quick kiss on his jaw, praying no one would notice you. He’d smile at you – gosh his eye smile UWU – and then he’d hug you closer.

About one hour after the movie’s beginning, you felt some physical needs pressing, so you quickly excused yourself and got up from the couch.

“Should I pause it?” Renjun asked, the remote already between his hands.

“No, don’t worry. I’ve already seen it anyway”

You made your way to the bathroom only to find out that the toilet paper was missing.

You sighed. Boys.

So you went back to the living room, where everyone was gathered.

You were about to open your mouth to ask where they kept the spare paper but something odd caught your ear. You backed up, hiding behind the wall. You obviously knew that eavesdropping was not by any means honest, especially if it was a conversation between your best friends. But you were almost certain that they were talking about you, your name dropping from one of the boys’ mouth.

“Enjoy being free while you can” Donghyuck joked with Jeno. You furrowed your brows.

What was that supposed to mean? You peeked your head cautiously, not wanting to be seen.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend” Jisung laughed at him, to which the boy responded with a sharp stare.

“Seriously, Jisung? When you haven’t even had your first kiss?”

“Ya ya ya! Shut up and don’t fight you two” Jaemin intervened, throwing a popcorn at them.

A brief moment of silence followed. You still didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“She’s just affectionate, that’s all” Jeno finally spoke, at which you held your breath.

So they were talking about you being clingy with your boyfriend. And this response from Jeno meant that he didn’t mind it, right? Or else he would have agreed with the boy. The thing is, you never thought about it: you supposed that a little kiss every now and then was a way to show your love and affection to him, plus he never complained about it, or never backed away.

“I know, but don’t tell me you don’t find this suffocating sometimes” Donghyuck continued.

Okay, now he was seriously getting on your nerves. What the heck did he care if you were clingy with your boyfriend? This was something between you and Jeno, and he wasn’t allowed to interfere with it, especially in front of everyone in the room. You thought he was making fun of you by now.

At this point you expected something to come out of Jeno’s mouth, anything that could have proven Donghyuck wrong, but he said nothing.

And silence means consent.

How did you know this? Well, Jeno wasn’t one to back out from speaking his opinion, especially with his friends. Especially with Donghyuck, for God’s sake, this guy was constantly bickering – though not with malicious intentions – with everyone.

“We shouldn’t talk behind her back like this” affirmed Jaemin with a severe stare. Jeno looked down: you didn’t know it but he was feeling suddenly guilty, agreeing with Jaemin. Everyone then went silent, the only sounds that could be heard being the dialogues in the movie.

You pressed your back against the wall, processing what you just heard.

Why didn’t he ever tell you? Why did he act like he loved it while, actually, he hated it? Then you thought about every time you held his hand in public, or hugged him, or kissed him, and then your thoughts went to five minutes before, when you were hugging him on the couch. You started feeling sorry.

Maybe after all it’s true, and he didn’t tell me anything because he didn’t want to hurt me.

But well, now it hurt twice as much since you weren’t aware of what your friends and your own boyfriend thought about you. Maybe every one of them, except for Jeno obviously, thanked God they hadn’t a girlfriend like you, who was suffocating and clingy.

And it was at this moment that your guilt turned into anger.

You just wanted to show all your affection and care to your boyfriend who you loved with all your heart, but apparently you were only bothering him. And Donghyuck - oh Donghyuck – you were so angry at him right now. What was the point in making fun of you in front of everyone when you weren’t even there? At the same time, you took a mental note to thank Jisung and Jaemin, the only two people who stood to defend you.

Okay, tonight you were proving everyone how not clingy you could be. Indeed, you were going to interact the least possible with Jeno. He wanted space? Good, you were giving him tons of it.

You eventually went to the toilet using one of your tissues since you were not asking any of them where the hell was the toilet paper, you washed your hands and went back to the couch.

But this time you didn’t hug Jeno. You simply forced a smile and sat next to him with your arms crossed. You tried not to be too obvious, you still didn’t want them to know that you heard everything, but you were sure your face was saying otherwise, and the confirmation arrived when Jeno asked you “Is everything ok?” full of concern.

You just called me clingy and let Donghyuck make fun of me. Yes, everything’s amazing.

“Yes, of course. Why?” you replied, using all of your acting skills in the process which, by the way, were very poor. But apparently they worked, because Jeno smiled at you and shook his head. “Nothing”.

But if you were successful at lying to him right now, then by the end of the movie he understood that something was wrong. You were avoiding all of his attempts of skin ship because “it was too hot”, but then you were grasping at the blanket like there’s no tomorrow. You were also laughing at everything remotely funny that came out of Jaemin’s mouth while you simply ignored all of Jeno’s attempts of making you laugh. Hell, you didn’t even argue with Donghyuck when he murmured something about Jeno being the most unfunny guy he ever met. Oh and you were playing and laughing with Jisung who was sitting next to you.

In short, you were avoiding him.

But he decided to shrug these thoughts away. Maybe he was being paranoid, he thought: you were just enjoying your friends’ company, plus it wasn’t written anywhere that you were allowed to talk and give attentions only to him.

Little did he know, this was just what you were trying to do: shower everyone with attentions except him.

Eventually the movie came to an end, and while everyone was pronouncing their goodnights and heading to sleep, you just remained there, with your phone between your hands, scrolling mindlessly on your Instagram feed.

Usually you and Jeno would have gone to bed together, sharing your thoughts about the movie you just watched, or simply talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But not today. He wanted space? You were giving him space.

Jeno already stood up to make his departure, but soon noticed you weren’t following him like you always did. “Are you coming?” he asked you, stopping on his tracks.

“I’ll just reply to a few messages and then I’ll go to sleep too. Don’t wait for me, you can go”

“Y/N are you sure everything’s okay? You’ve been acting quite weird. Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Of course not, Jeno. Nothing happened” you replied rather coldly. Then you sighed. “I’m good, don’t worry for me” you added, softly this time. Although you believed he deserved it, you didn’t want to be too rude to him.

He nodded, and without saying anything more, he left.

At this point you started feeling a tiny bit guilty, still you couldn’t simply pretend nothing happened: their words hurt you and even if you really wished to just forget everything, you couldn’t. You just couldn’t, it was stronger than you.

By the way, you had no intention of sleeping with Jeno tonight, so you grabbed the blanket all of you once shared when watching the movie, and struggled a little bit to find a comfortable position. Eventually, after some tears escaped from your eyes, you drifted into a restless sleep.

It took a couple of hours for Jeno to realize you were not in bed with him.

He just fell asleep, a part of him believing that later you would have joined him. But when he woke up, he immediately sensed that something was off. Still sleepy, he touched the other side of the bed only to find it empty, and immediately stood up. It was 3 A.M, why weren’t you sleeping? What the heck were you doing? Did someone kidnap you? At this point he was surprised of how paranoid he could be.

His thoughts came to an end when he saw you, on the couch, with a blanket shielding you from the cold, all curled up. He didn’t see the dried tears that stained your face, though.

Sitting slowly beside you, not wanting to scare you, he gently shook you, not sure himself if it was the right thing to do. He was just so confused, he genuinely didn’t have any idea of what was happening. But he knew one thing for sure: you had been acting cold with him and he wouldn’t had moved until you confessed what was going on. Was it something he said or did? Was today your anniversary or something and he forgot it? Poor boy absolutely couldn’t find peace unless he knew what he did.

Soon you opened your eyes, still heavy from the – lack of – sleep.

“Hey” he murmured softly.

You considered pretending to sleep but nah, as I said earlier, you weren’t a good actress.

“Hey” you replied, stretching your limbs a little bit.

“I got worried since you weren’t sleeping next to me” he chuckled awkwardly. Sure thing, he didn’t know how to handle this situation since this was the first time you were acting like this.

“I… umm… I just fell asleep here” you replied looking at your hands, which you were scratching due to the nervousness.

Another lie.

Then silence.

“Y/N look at me” his voice suddenly changed, turning colder.

You swallowed, a knot forming again in your throat, as you forced back the tears that were trying to escape. You didn’t want to give in so soon.

But how could you, when he was getting angry at you? You should have been angry, not the opposite. And you know what? He was right, you were taking it too far. He didn’t deserve this. Look at how nice he tried to be all night, you managed to anger a calm and patient man like him. How stupid could you be at this point?

With a quivering lip you turned your head, facing him. He was watching you intently, with a serious frown on his face. Your grip on the blanket got tighter, almost ripping it with your nails.

You stayed silent. Then he spoke.

“Why are you being like this?”

You swallowed. What should you say? Were you even allowed to say anything at this point?

You tried to open your mouth to say something, but as soon as you tried your eyes were filled with tears, rapidly falling on your skin. You just couldn’t take it anymore, so you just faced away and buried your face in the pillow, trying to muffle your sobs. You didn’t want to look so pathetic in his eyes, although by now you thought you were being beyond pathetic.

If earlier there was any anger in Jeno, now every hint of it dissipated at the sight of you crying, curled up on the couch. He suddenly felt guilt taking over him. But the amount of confusion and frustration was bigger, so, as much as it pained him to see you cry because of him, this didn’t prevent him from trying to find out what had gotten into you. He was honestly so tired, he just wanted to sleep with you on his side.

He gently, almost scared, touched your trembling frame, and when he noticed there was no sign of rebellion from you, he lied down and hugged you tightly from behind.

And you kept on crying silently, a loud sob escaping occasionally, as he murmured sweet nothings into your ears, shushing you gently and telling you that everything’s fine, I’m here with you. Just let it out.

When you finally finished crying, he placed a soft kiss on your neck, then another on your wet cheek.

“Wanna talk about it?”

There was no point in lying by now. So you faced him, face full of concern and arms still tightly secured around you. And you just let out everything, from how you overheard their conversation – including how sorry you were for doing it and promising it would never happen again -, to how you were hurt by Donghyuck’s words but mostly by Jeno’s lack of words.

On the other hand, poor Jeno didn’t have any idea this could have affected you so much, and because of this he didn’t even think this could have been the cause of your sudden behavior. He just listened everything silently, surprised, just like a kid to whom the newest things are explained.

“I just got so angry at you for not defending me, and for letting Hyuck make fun of me. So I wanted to distance myself from you as much as possible to have my revenge” you openly confessed, hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m really sorry I took this so far. I should have talked instead” you add.

“Well, that’s true” Jeno replied, “but I can’t say I’m in the right either. First thing, we shouldn’t have talked about you like that, plus I’m really sorry I didn’t say anything to Hyuck, I understand this hurt you a lot”

“But do you really think I’m that clingy? Because if so, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll try to respect you space more” you asked, looking up at him with watery eyes.

And if your ears were sharp enough, you could have heard the sound of Jeno’s heart shattering.

Now he was the one who was on the verge of tears.

“Y/N please don’t ever say such a thing. You don’t have to change anything about yourself. I love you because you are you, including your touchy and loving nature. Besides, don’t look at me this way or I’m seriously gonna cry” he added whining, causing a smile – a real one – to appear on your face.

“Now it’s a lot better” he affirmed, tracing your curled up lips with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you or you’re still mad at me?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about making you suffer a little more” you joked.

“Oh my God, you’re unbelievable”

“I think so too”

He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I should kiss that annoying attitude of yours away”

“I don’t know, should you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

And with that he kissed you, the fight of moments ago long forgotten. A slow and gentle kiss, a mixture of emotions being shown: remorse, love, affection. It was a way for the both of you to say “it’s all in the past now”.

After you parted, one thought snapped in his mind.

“Wait, how will you manage the matter with Donghyuck? I can talk to him if you want” he pointed out, concerned. He perfectly understood if you were angry at the boy in question, but he also wished all of you to be as bonded as a big family, his family.

“There’s no need, I’ll just confront him by myself, beat him up until he asks for forgiveness and then forgive and hug him”

Jeno looked at you, almost scared. “What…?”

“Just kidding” you said, laughing at his funny face. Still hugging, you made yourselves comfortable enough to sleep.

“Or maybe not”

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