#anyway i'm sad

[longsightmyth]

People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ

#anyway I'm sad #I even offered to move it myself yesterday and was told they couldn't find him #and then this morning apparently they did find him and just killed him immediately #it's just a little snake! he was outside! #they aren't venomous!

[kcrabb88]

Hot Friday Night Plans: Crying over the Phantom of the Opera closing on Broadway

#I feel kind of silly because it's not like I can't watch a pro-shot whenever #And it's still playing in London and all over and it will tour #But I'm just!! Used to it being there!!! That theater feels like home to me #Anyway I'm sad #Phantom of the Opera #I'm sure it will revive

[waterdeep]

i finished the final heart of thorns quest.. trahearne...

#daisy.txt #gw2 spoilers #even though i'm years late?? idk #anyway i'm SAD

[leschanceux]

Philip and the Christmas that almost wasn't.

"I'm sorry, your highness," Philip's housemaster starts, looking genuinely sympathetic, "your father said he's too busy to take our call right now."

Philip, eleven years old and not really the type to cry these days, curls his fingers into his palms and fights off the tears that burn behind his eyes. Dad's too busy to take a call about him? Logically, he knows there must be something else going on. This has never happened before - Dad always has time for him, for all three of them.

But Philip's all wound up, his nerves shot from the phone call with his grandmother - a personal phone call, not one made through a member of her staff. She'd been stiff and cold, anger in her tone as she told him that he wouldn't be going home for Christmas, would have to sit in his room at school and that there would be no visits, no presents, no trips, no Christmas dinner. Princes, she'd said, did not get into fights at school. Hooligans got into fights, and hooligans went to prison, so Philip should experience the closest thing to prison an eleven year old could --- isolation at school over Christmas break.

His mind is not working through logics, he's filled with sadness and desperation and all he wants is for his dad to show up at the gates because gran had changed her mind.

He'd cried down the phone when she'd passed her sentence, gran, please- please, I'll be good, I promise, I'm sorry, gran. Please let me go home. Nothing had helped; she'd simply told him that he'd ruined Christmas for them all with his selfish, stupid actions, and then she'd hung up. The school nurse had hugged him, let him cry into her shoulder with soothing words and a hand that had rubbed circles into his back, but she wasn't the same as Mum and he'd drawn away after a couple of moments, asking her and his housemaster to call his parents.

"Can I try, please?" he requests, and is immediately granted use of the phone ( he wonders for a second if it's because he's the prince of England, or if they want to send him home as soon as they can so they don't have to stay at school over the Christmas holidays either ) and some privacy to make his call.

Dialling with shaky fingers, it feels like years until Dad picks up the phone with a tense yes, hello? "Daddy?" He hasn't called his father daddy in years - not since his first term at boarding school at eight, because he didn't want to be picked on mercilessly like one of the other boys in his class had been when he'd called one of their teachers mummy accidentally. "Daddy, it's Pip." It's amazing how steady he sounds, even as his eyes swim with more tears. He listens for a moment as Dad says something to someone before he comes back to the phone, his voice so soft as he asks what's going on.

"Gran called me," Philip begins, his voice so small, "she said I can't come home for Christmas." That's as far as he gets before he lets out a hiccuping sob, desolate and feeling like the criminal Gran had likened him to - all because he'd defended his baby brother from another boy who had decided that Henry was weird for clinging to Mum when he was scared by the shouts of a crowd! "Daddy, I'm sorry I ruined Christmas and I was stupid and selfish and I just want to come home," he cries down the line, clutching at the plastic receiver with both hands as he works himself up into hysteria, "please, I want to come home! I won't be stupid and selfish anymore, I promise! I won't even have Christmas, just please, please, please, please tell Gran I'm sorry, I want to come home."

Dad's saying something but Philip can't hear anything over the sounds of his own sobs. There are hands on him all of a sudden, gently tugging the phone from his grasp even as he lets out a strangled whimper, trying to take it back because he needs to know if Dad can forgive him for wrecking Christmas for everybody, but the nurse is holding him and she's pointing to a mug of hot chocolate and his housemaster is talking on the phone now, so Pip allows himself to be pulled into the nurse's lap like he's still as small as Henry is, a blanket around his shoulders and the hot chocolate steaming gently into his face as he coughs and sniffs and spasms with sobs.

It takes an hour - and they only live half an hour away by car from Ludgrove, a fact that made his first term of boarding so hard to start with - but the nurse is suddenly pointing at the window of the office door and Dad is there looking cold and windswept in his long coat and scarf, and Pip is on his feet and launching himself like a cannonball into his father's arms, sobbing again as he shoves his wet face into Arthur's neck and holds on. Dad's hand is steady at his back and he's holding Pip tight, sitting where he'd been sat with the nurse not even a moment ago. The three adults are talking over his head, but Pip is content enough to stay where he is, hidden in Dad's neck, warm and safe and breathing in Dad's Dad smell as he revels in the fact that Dad's here even though Gran said no visitors.

Maybe he can have a Christmas after all?

#DRABBLE; ( PHILIP ) #WITH; ( ARTHUR ) #VERSE; ( PRE CANON ) #anyway i'm sad

[d1reking]

𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚋 & 𝚠𝚢𝚕𝚕𝚊 @enfate

#enfate #this song really stays on repeat #and all it does is remind me of them #and the way he would have fought to stay alive to get back to her #anyway i'm sad

[bigqueervillain]

TW: Miscarriage, grief

So I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks on Friday. It's ongoing. I feel like a giant, sad sack of blood.

I've had a miscarriage once before when I was pretty deep in addiction and very mentally unwell. Back then though I didn't even know that I was pregnant, and I wasn't trying to get pregnant. So I counted it as a blessing. This time the circumstances couldn't be more different.

I really wanted this pregnancy, this baby. Rachael and I both did. I'm sure that most of it was hormone driven, but even so I was so excited and so happy and so ready. I had Christmas announcements to our families all planned out because I'm a control freak. I was anticipating so much joy coming our way. And instead we got this.

When I called the midwife on Friday, she was very sweet and kind and gentle. But it was just so hard to hear my fears confirmed. "Is this your first baby? Oh you must have been so excited. It's really just a late period at this stage though, so unless you start to feel sick it should pass okay" keeps ringing in my ears. It's trauma. I know it. I've had enough of it over the years that I intimately know the way it winds through and sticks in my brain. There are things that stay with you in trauma and grief, even when they'd normally be so innocuous in any other situation. The things that are said ring in your ears whether you want them to or not.

And it is passing through me. That's the fucked up gothic primal animal horror and beauty of it. When you become pregnant, the only way out is through no matter what stage you're at when it ends. I'm pro choice and I always will be, but all the viscera coming out of me had the potential to be my baby in August. And I feel like I owe that potential the duty of witnessing and grieving every bit that comes out of me. When it started, I reached into the fucking toilet to touch it and make sure. There's really no mistaking pregnancy tissue though. It's hard and looks like string with little baby grapes attached to it. Like a vine from an alien nightmare orchard.

I keep thinking of sad art that's stuck with me over the years. The fucking two headed calf; so short lived but still so cherished while it lasted. Maybe I'll get it tattooed. The Johanna reprise from Sweeney Todd; "and though I'll think of you I guess until the day I die, I think I'll miss you less and less as everyday goes by." Sondheim really knew how to get to the heart of a very specific emotion. Fucking hell.

And maybe all of this is incredibly maudlin and dramatic. I tend towards that in times of extreme emotion, which I worry makes the whole thing tedious for other people to experience along with me. And it was so early and really is just a very late, very heavy period. But this grief is mine goddammit. No one can tell me how to feel or how to navigate through it. I would have protected this kid with my life had they been born, and I feel like I have to follow through with that promise even if it'll never come to fruition.

I'm left with all this blood. My body feels like a fucking graveyard. Going to the bathroom, standing up, sneezing, coughing are all reminders, so I don't even have the courtesy of long periods of distraction from it. I feel like next time we try I won't even be able to be excited when we get a positive test, because I'll be so afraid of losing it again. We had that exciting positive pregnancy test moment already with this one, and now that memory's tainted. Next time I'm going to feel cautious and afraid, instead of happy and hopeful. I know myself enough to know that. I know I have to force myself to process my emotions and heal through this so I can enjoy pregnancy when it happens again. And it will happen again. We're not going to stop trying; Rach and I both want to be parents too much for that. But I hate this part. It's just so fucking unfair.

A close friend of mine is lowkey a very powerful medium/witch. She told me that this is all confusing because she can feel our baby working hard to come through, that they want us as parents and want to come earthside and live. And I believe her. Her partner is our sperm donor so she's attached to it in some way too. And I know that any child of mine is going to be stubborn and strong willed and unstoppable.

And then I think of my (unfortunately) Catholic upbringing and my own spirituality. I believe that creation is a god realm, even if I don't believe all the pro choice bullshit that comes along with it. So I have to believe that this loss has purpose. But I don't know what that purpose is, other than to make me afraid and sad. But then maybe there isn't any purpose in it and that's just part of the awesome swirling chaos that is life on this goddamn bitch of an earth and I have to accept that for what it is.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, etc.

Anyway if you've read this far, thank you. I don't expect anyone to read this. It's mostly rambling nonsense. Writing has long been how I process my emotions. The best way. Sitting alone with headphone and screaming it all out on a keyboard is healthy for me. I'm just...metaphorically licking my wounds and shyly casting my hurt into the internet in the hopes that it'll swirl around and leave me for good.

#personal shits #tumblr has been a witness to so many of my joys and hurts #why should this change just because I'm 30 #anyway i'm sad #it's a rainy day here and I spent all weekend running around doing christmas things to try to escape it #and now i'm left here on sunday morning with coffee and prozac and nicotine and nothing to do but sit with it all

[narrie]

listening to fletcher's album finally and wlw are insane actually ❤️

#i'll forever think shannon and fletcher belong together #but it was veryyy clear from the last ep that fletcher has a commitment issue etc #and now she's on this album like 'i want u back do u miss me i hate all of this' 😭😭😭😭😭 #anyway i'm sad

[satanicdollx]

they should invent friends that do not live so fucking far

#I'm less sad today but still sad #we're not even that far even from a European point of view like 400kms is okay-ish 🥹 #it's just complicated in terms of public transportation and it's expensive #anyway gonna play DAO (bc BG3 is still bugged) and chill all day feel free to invade my asks #nyx.txt

[fancyfeasti]

"I guess you have changed."

-Husk, Hazbin Hotel Ep. 8

#Is anyone okay after that finale?? #hazbin hotel #huskerdust #angel dust #husk #i'm still processing all the new info they just threw at us #Sir pentious is in heaven?!?!?!?!!? #lilith???? #i'm so sad its over but holy shit that was so good #anyways enjoy some soft huskerdust while you process #actually sobbing #charlie morningstar #vaggie #sir pentious #lucifer #lilith #nifty

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one... #I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat. #it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl...... #I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense.... #if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

[tagerrkix]

rage.

#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once” #rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish????? #hmmmmmmm #definitely pain #and a hint of fear #no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying #the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was #like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage #well anyway #i don't even care about anatomy at this point #just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character #didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion fanart

[tarabyte3]

Hey fanfiction writers: If no one's ever told you this before, it's not just fanfiction.

It's something you spent hours, days, maybe even months on, pouring your heart out onto a page because you were so full of passion and thoughts about a story or characters, you felt like you were going to explode if you didn't get it out. Maybe you lost sleep because your mind was racing with ideas or you forgot to eat or drink water because you were so focused. Maybe your back aches from being hunched over for so long, unmoving. Maybe you even felt like you were going a little feral because you were so excited about what you were creating, or were frustrated when you got stuck. Either way, you put your heart, mind, soul, and body into making something.

It's okay to want people to read it, and it's okay if you're disappointed that they don't or it doesn't get as much of a reaction as you were hoping for. Humans are social creatures. Sure, we write for ourselves, but we also share because the joy of doing so is just as powerful as the joy of the process. Of having created something.

We all experience that joy and that disappointment, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

So it's okay. It's not just fanfiction.

#writing #fic writing #fanfiction #fanfic #writlbr #just had to get this out there #fanfiction has brought me so much joy for ~25 years now #big thank you to everyone that feels sad about their stuff and still writes anyway #i love you and i appreciate you #and i guarantee i'm not the only one

[qiinamii]

quite the poet, quite the inspo

#its a two parter but i'm not sure if i want to upload both bc the first one goes miles better and it was initially a standalone #bc twt format that builds the humor up lol but its still cute anyway so i'm putting both up #it's really sweet and sad Xiao hasn't much of an outlet to let things go and expressing thoughts than his coping mechanisms #the self destruction he's not aware about as it's veiled by reason of duty #so it's good that he's encouraged to use poetry as one of it #expression portrayed through words tailored in vagueness but also direct symbolism of something... just to encapsulate that meaning idk idk #qiiarts #xiao #lumine #traveler #paimon #zhongli #venti #hu tao #chongyun #xingqiu #diona #mika #noelle #genshin impact

[anne-is-confused]

Captain Francis Crozier, at Furthest North.

#the terror amc #francis crozier #my art #can't believe it took me 2 rewatches AND getting refs for this to realize it's the hungarian state opera house. girl i was there last month #anyway yeah i was looking at gifsets of the last shot of the show and feeling nauseous with emptiness etc etc when #the thought struck me that it looks an awful lot like the tableau vivants from the ep1 flashbacks in its stillness #i have no idea whether that was an intentional reference (a sort of twisted mockery of how that scrubbed and polished portrayal of history #contrasted with the deeply sad and inglorious reality #or some sort of meta about storytelling itself. i'm not really smart enough to say lol) but i made this anyways. enjoy #pattern recognition go brrrrrrrrrrrrrr #i bent over backwards trying to make this symmetric and harmonious. it isn't but if i don't post it now i never will

[waveoftheocean]

"i can see it in his eyes" 🥰

#trigun #trigun stampede #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #wolfwood #vash #my art #mine #deep in my trigun feels rn help #also sad commentary on my life and drawing speed that i'm actually amazed that this took me “only” 3ish weeks to finish #insert shrug emoji #anyways this line has been bouncing around in my head since i heard it #WHAT CAN U SEE IN HIS EYES VASH #HIS EYES THAT ARE COVERED BY DARK SUNGLASSES #honestly idk if this line or ww's “oh so you can smile like that” make me more head in hands #WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT WITHIN LIKE HOURS OF MEETING SOMEONE #no matter which version they r soulmates fr...

[aroaceleovaldez]

reminder that the only reason the "ADHD is actually demigod BATTLE STRATEGIES" and "dyslexia is DEMIGOD BRAINS HARDWIRED FOR ANCIENT GREEK" things exist in the PJO universe is because it's a very direct reference to early 2000s teaching/parenting techniques for neurodiverse and disabled children, which aimed to frame childrens' disabilities and hardships as a "superpower" or strength so that the children would feel more positively about their disabilities or situations. This technique has fallen out of favor since then for the most part since more often than not it just results in kids feeling as though their struggles are not being seen or taken seriously.

Yes, demigods are adhd/dyslexic (and sometimes autistic-coded) in the series. This is extremely important and trying to remove it or not acknowledge it makes the entire series fall apart because it is such a core concept. Yes, canon claims that their adhd/dyslexia is tied to some innate abilities, which is based on an outdated methodology. It's important to acknowledge that and understand where it comes from! But please stop trying to apply it to other pantheons in the series like "oh, the romans have dyscalculia because of roman numerals!" or "the norse demigods have dysgraphia for reasons!" - it's distasteful at best.

A better option is to acknowledge the meta inspiration for why that exists in the series, such as explaining potentially that Chiron was utilizing that same teaching methodology to try and help demigods feel more comfortable with their disabilities and they aren't literal powers. In fact, especially given Frank, there's implication that being adhd/dyslexic isn't a guaranteed demigod trait, which means it's more likely to be normally inherited from their godly parent/divine ancestor as a general trait, not a power, and further supports the whole "ADHD is battle strategy" thing being non-literal. It also implies the entire greco-roman pantheon in their universe is canonically adhd/dyslexic - and that actually fits very well with the themes of the first series. The entire central conflict of the first series fits perfectly as an allegory about neurodiverse/disabled children and their relationships with their undiagnosed neurodiverse/disabled parents and trying to find solutions together with their shared disability/disabilities that the kid inherited instead of becoming distant from each other (and this makes claiming equivalent to getting a diagnosis which is a fascinating allegory! not to mention the symbolism of demigods inheriting legacies and legends and powers from their parents and everything that comes with that being equivalent to inheriting traits, neurodiversity, and disabilities from your parents).

anyways neurodiversity and disability and the contexts in which the series utilizes representation of those experiences particularly during the 2000s symbolically within the narrative is incredibly important to the first series and the understanding of what themes it means to represent. also if i see one more "the romans have dyscalculia instead of dyslexia" post in 2023 i'm gonna walk into the ocean.

#pjo #riordanverse #percy jackson #analysis #meta #adhd #dyslexia #also this symbolism recontextualizes the relationship between demigods and their godly parents so much #particularly Percy and Poseidon and the whole ''I'm sorry you were born thing'' like DAMN that's an ENTIRE DIFFERENT IMPLICATION #honestly in general the first series' meta analogy of being a demigod as symbolism for being neurodiverse/disabled ROCKS SO HARD #that's SO COOL and im SO SAD NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT IT #i could write a whole essay on that alone like COME ON GUYS #can we PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THIS I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE COOL DISABILITY METAPHORS.... #anyways i didnt proofread this cause. re: dyslexia so if it doesnt make sense dont worry about it #i can try to explain further in supplementary posts if people so wish