#anyways im really happy with how this year went!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mariedoesnteat · 3 days

Text

here’s my background story… growing up i was always very skinny. i remember one day riding on the school bus & noticing that my calves were so much bigger than the other daycare kids which is weird since i was like 4 & what 4 year old do yk thinks like this.. but anyways years went by & i was always bigger than other 4th graders. my thighs were always more bigger but i never really let it bother me. in 7th grade i moved states & obviously had to attend a new school & at this school the girls were more heavyset than i so they always called me skinny. looking at those 7th grade pictures of myself now i was so fat & idk what those girls were talking about. i was never really huge but i was definitely the friend with the most weight. i let all this go until my mom started constantly pointing out things i never even noticed. it’s not all her fault but junior year is when i started starving myself. i remember how motivated & easy it was but i also remember how sick, tired, weak, & angry i was. it was always so hard for me to be at work because i was always so weak & could barely stand but i didn’t care since that meant i was getting skinny. people who are not familiar with the painful yet euphoric feeling of starving will never understand. everyday that i starved myself i knew i was getting skinner. i used to be so happy to see my uniform pants become loose. After a few days i ate & i mean i ATE. i remember being so hungry that i ate a tripple patty burger from wendy’s & i was so sick after since i hadn’t ate in a few days. after this i tried purging & decided that it was not for me. time went by & i decided that starving would never be a thing for me again but it wasn’t short until i started again. i failed everytime i tried & one time even threw up from binging so much after i hadn’t eaten. during the beginning of march i succeeded & lost a few pounds but fell back into eating again. so with all that being said im trying ana again & im serious this time.

23 notes · View notes

tiktaaliker · 9 months

Text

ok i HIGHLY doubt ill be making any more attacks so here's artfight 2023 part 2! mostly revenges in this batch lol

#howling #art tag #artfight 2023 #this time theyre organized by what looks nice together rather than order #also i only tag if the tumblr is linked on the artfight profile which is. only one this time #+ remsleep is an old friend of mine which is why i attacked them twice with one being a pretty complex (by my standards) animation hehehe #i looooove smear frames <3 #anyways im really happy with how this year went!!!#i made more attacks this year than ive EVER done #and theyre all fullbodies besides the animation of kashmir #and a handful even had scenes! i like NEVER draw scenes!#anyways i had a lot of fun c:

5 notes · View notes

benjaminthecoathanger · 2 months

Text

okay, because i saw a poll earlier and i thought the choices weren't clear enough and also the answers i saw to it annoyed me and also i'm curious:

NOTES:

I am including having watched gameplay of a game and not having played it as having watched the source material

In this context if you are writing fic/making art and you are not being commissioned to do so. This is purely for funsies

You getting into something because you saw a post/gifset/video about it and then watched the source material does not count. That's just how you get into new things.

Goncharov does not count because it's not real. I'll break kayfabe here I don't care.

#polls #look i got really annoyed by reading the tags of the since-deleted poll of people like 'did you forget goncharov hahaha' like.#that. that's not what was asked.#also like. i'll reblog posts of something ive not seen if i think theyre interesting/funny #but i don't count that as like. 'engaging in fandom" necessarily #bc to me at least fandom requires active engagement? and like im not gonna go hunting for like. leverage posts if ive not seen it #i also don't read fanfic like. at all. so i have no concept of how people read it?#like. i last read fanfic like 2 years ago bc i had just finished disco elysium #so people who read fic bc of the like. tropes or whatever like. i do not get it. im happy for you though #anyway. sorry i went insane i love u all #ben leaves the house #or doesnt. i guess in this case. a very Chronically Online Poll

307 notes · View notes

cosmicrhetoric · 13 days

Text

i know like i just know in my heart of hearts that sanji has been smoking the same shitty bedraggled cigarette the whole time. three years. he takes one puff and puts that thing right back in his pocket and it gets waterlogged and messed up and dries out eventually and then he does it all over again and that's why it looks worse and worse with each arc. id normally never give him this honor but honestly? line cook behavior.

#the real one piece was sanji's shitty fucking cig the whole time #anyway im stressed out on his behalf (zou) which is such a new experience for me idk how to feel #one piece #vinsmoke sanji #well i get to use that tag now. cats out of the bag #black leg sanji #he did something that make me go oh sanji :( and again it was such a unique experience for me i was like hold on a minute #i thought i was a hater #out of all the time skip designs btw he looks the most 'its still me but it's been two years' like you can really see it in these eps #luffy looks the same. hi luffy <3. zoro/nami/robin all went up two cup sizes somehow #chopper lost his cuteness imo. i think frankys new arms are soooo fun.#and brook got a feather boa so happy for him

26 notes · View notes

corujalesbica · 2 months

Text

Okay, a few people have wished me a happy womens day today and like. I appreciate the sentiment, I do, but I'm not a woman. Yes, im afab, and the patriarchy does affect me, so i share lots of struggles with women. I am, however, not a woman. Please dont wish me a happy womens day just cause im not a man either. That being said, I hope every girl and every woman out there has a wonderful women's day. <3<3<3

#lgbtq #nb #non binary #nonbinary #trans pride #trans rights #transgender #trans nonbinary #okay but i also met a kid today and he asked me whether i was a boy or a girl #my friend (a cis guy i met recently and was not sure where stood on me being nb) told him i was a menine #now menina is girl in portuguese menino is boy and menine would be the gender meutral equivalent #i love being a menine!!!#anyways i went on to add that i was neither a girl nor a boy #the kid didnt really get it and kept asking me #im not sure how or if i should explain what nb is to a 5 year old i literally just met and whose parents were like around the corner #so i told him i was the closet monster #he didnt believe me but my friend backed me up on it #it was such a trans joy in a day made a bit more dysphoric by ppl telling me happy womens day :)

11 notes · View notes

lobotomyladylives · 8 days

Text

literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country

#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being #whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i #oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!!#i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of #''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the #desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now #fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to #supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means #i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost #why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us #anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself #oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went #into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back #(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming #IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU #and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me''#i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal.#and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues

7 notes · View notes

definitelynotshouting · 3 months

Note

HEY KING, ITS BEEN A HOT MINUTE

Been super busy with school (my grades are SUFFERING) plus studying for the ACT, PLUS trying to figure out what i want to do with my life so thats.... fun :)

Logged on to Tumblr to discover the prequel oneshot hungerau thing and ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH! keep at it dude, we're all cheering you on <3

-🐛

Hey bug anon!!! :D

Oh my gosh that sounds like so much on your plate dude 😭😭😭😭 GODSPEED BRAVE SOLDIER I AM ROOTING FOR YOU!!!!!! also im so glad you liked the oneshot!!! I worked really hard on it and i am treasuring every comment 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Also im hoping you dont mind a bit of unsolicited reassurance, but your comment about figuring out your life really vividly reminded me of when i was in high school trying to figure out college and my career and life in general, and just. Couldnt come up with anything. And i still remember how fuckoff scary that felt, so i just wanna reassure you, as someone who is a few years shy of 30 and never even ended up going to college, from the bottom of my heart you do not have to figure things out for yourself yet. I know there is so so much pressure surrounding that concept, but your life and priorities can drastically change as you grow. Sometimes you dont settle into what you want to do until you're far older, and thats okay!!! In fact thats genuinely the norm-- i didnt know i wanted to be a professional editor until about 6 years ago. And in the future i might decide i want to do something else, too, and pursue that instead!!

You never have to settle on One Path for yourself. Things change, people change, and everything is in constant fluid motion. Its okay not to know what you want out of your life-- genuinely, at this point in time youve barely even lived it. Ive barely lived mine-- im only just now hitting a point where i can really think about the longterm and put down lasting roots. Give yourself the space to figure it out organically, and i promise you as someone who has gone through this exact same thing, it will ultimately turn out okay❤️❤️❤️❤️ its a big learning curve, but you arent alone, and there are countless people out there who will be willing to help you as you go along :]

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #and advice i guess fkbsfkndmd #very much hoping this doesnt come across as condescending or anything i just!! i remember what it was like and how scared i was #and how i ultimately decided college wasnt for me and continued staying in the workforce #and well. i am honestly living just fine!!! even though i never went and only figured out what i wanted to do years later #honestly im a big proponent of doing what makes you happy and fulfilled and obviously you do have to balance that with survival #in our current capitalistic society #but i still think its so much healthier to focus on finding what makes you feel good and present instead of what you want to Do in life #because that tends to come much later and far more organically!! basically what i am saying is things will turn out alright #even if they feel really daunting rn #you will be okay!!! things will get tough and then easier as you learn how to deal with them :]#anyway im wishing you the best of luck in your studies and i hope this at least eases a little of the pressure youre carrying off your back #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#txt

10 notes · View notes

majimassqueaktoy · 1 year

Text

I do love that Saejima went back to visit Okudera (but ended up fighting the bear again because. Of course.) In RGGO. Love that of all the protagonists he genuinely does seem to be the one who will truly try and keep the friendships and relationships he's built- He lost 25 years to prison, and then he lost Yasuko when he finally got back, so seeing him choose to keep getting back up and to keep living is so lovely :')

#Also in his other RGGO story he went and visited his old boss in hospital before he went back to jail #as well as Yasuko's grave #idk I just think its a nice little detail and it makes me happy #he's even really cute about Daigo and believing in Daigo. I like to think his influence ends up rubbing off on Majima a bit #so Saejima is like Come on now!! lets go visit this Yuki girl you talk about!#and Majimas like Ough Okay #he makes Kido come out for a beer every couple months and they catch up #when Baba gets out of jail he is like Cmon now Baba-chan #and Babas all how are you still here 😭🥺😖#yeah :) i just think its nice #especially since kiryu and majima are bad at doing that 😭#i feel like Aki would be alright at keepin in touch but more erratic #like he gets bored and turns up randomly after not seein him for a year kinda thing #saejima taiga #taiga saejima #anyway my night is bad im distracting myself ☠️

31 notes · View notes

asheoninactive · 7 days

Text

i need to like . make a post that like properly constructs my opinion on modern vocaloid music but like i swear they dont make music like they used to nowadays and it kind of blows

#ashe is rambling #like im listening to envy cat walk rn #and its crazy how much raw personality and energy and creativity went into it #you can somewhat blame how vocaloid has become more popular which all together is good for the genre on the surface #and it is thriving #but its like .#really is it #because while vocaloid has become a more popular and profitable music genre it comes at the cost of #corporate sanitization and making whatever sells #and im like #happy the genre has a reached a point where vocaloid has become more focused on music as a whole rather than just the characters #its still frustrating seeing a creativity drought among the most popular producers compared to what was being produced years ago #and like sure you can argue they became more professional and theyre more skilled at their craft which i guess is fine #but honest to god the charm of vocaloid to me is just . the vibe of guys making whatever sounds cool skill level and profitability be damne #all because miku cute #yaknow #idk #im a vocaloid boomer please understand this has been my special interest for like 9-10 years now #anyways tohma come back i miss you

3 notes · View notes

skyburger · 23 days

Text

WHAT THE HELL NOBODY EVER TOLD ME TWO OF MY FAVE VILLAGERS GOT A LINE STICKER TOGETHER. ive loved tabby for YEARS like since 2019 at LEAST. and these stickers are from 2018 how did i not know !!! i love tabby and boots so much 😭😭😭 TABBY AND BOOTS ANIMAL CROSSING I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH OOMFS FOREVER AND EVER

#im so happy any official content of tabby is awesome shes my fave i looooove her so much SHES SO SILLY!!!#and boots was one of my starting residents on acnh so he holds a special place in my heart #in case anyone was wondering which im sure you were not. my other starting villager on acnh was rocket and shes soooo silly i love rocket #not enough people love her like shes so silly. u are all HATERS #anyway i love talking about my acnh villagers I WISH I HAD MY ACNL ONES WRITTEN DOWN. the only ones i remember are tabby and kyle #but my acnh ones atm (and when i say atm i mean they will be probably til the end of time)#are my guy sherb (found on one of the ticket islands)#stiches (who i also found on an island i think?)#chai (i have her amiibo card shes so cute.)#tammi (another island find)#stella (man i really did just take the first villagers i found on an island and kept them huh)#rocket and boots (starter villagers)#tabby (I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TRADE HER TO ME ON REDDIT I THINK? and then they were like oh if shes ur fave u can just have her +#like for free. AND THAT WAS SOOOO AWESOME)#bea (i think she was also a ticket island thingy find)#and finally... tom (ok he has a fun story.#i think it was margie who lived on my island at the time and listen she was SUCH a sweetheart i wanted to keep her forever #(she replaced drift who i found on an island and he was mean to me so i have beef with him. still. like four years later.)#but them tom showed up as a camper and i got this crazy hit of nostalgia and i remembered my guy tom was in my childhood city folk town #and i was like. I MISS MY BOY. COME BACK TO ME. so he moved in)#umm only other villager we had was chadder which i think my little brother picked when we shared the island #i think i remember him saying he got chadder because of dantdm...? i dont remember the details #but i got the sanrio amiibo cards which i need to stress i had wanted for YEARS. i was so fucking happy when they got a rerelease #to the point where like. i couldnt get them at first because they sold out super fast. so #i bought them from someone in twitter dms im so serious. and it fucking worked thats how i got them #anyway i wanted chai to move in because shes my fave of that set (i love cinnamoroll) but i needed someone to move out #which i always get so sad about :( but my brother offered to take chadder so i felt a little better abt it #and then i think we forgot to like. have him come get chadder in boxes. so chadder went off somewhere hope hes living a good life #thats it i think. i wish i kept a list of all my villagers ever but considering ive been playing for a decade or so now that would be. crazy #muffin mumbles

3 notes · View notes

graveyardmouth · 2 months

Text

youtube

its that time of the night

#and the year.#really makes me feel like summer especially middle school and before #completely isolated from all my friends panic attacks every time the sun went down hiding from my mom trying to block out screaming as #best i could staying up til dawn drinking dr pepper stealing my moms books listening to my dads cds stealing chocolate chips and eventually #wine from the kitchen puking in the bathroom reading the perks of being a wallflower goinf out for bike rides in the early morning walking #to the library and collapsing on the way home cause i hadnt eaten in 2 days walking past the church holding a knife in one hand #biking because i just knew there was somebody waiting to kill me dying my hair three times begging for escape from the monotony making #friends on twitter and discord in bad places getting attention from strangers for my relationship with a razor blade staying up all night #for the quiet because i needed to be alone because i couldnt sleep to feel something besides numbness getting yelled at for keeping my room #messy and crying thinking about people knowing i was eating finding a book that made me happy and knowing that once i finished it id #return to awful numbing boredom nothing could fix god ive typed a lot #sorry im feeling nostalgic about feeling bad and summer has always been one of many low points in the year for me #anyways ✌️#dw about me im actually in a really good place mentally rn i just. am worried for how long itll last #and quite scared about getting taken off my antidepressants tbh #bug shut up #delete later #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

popop-maru · 4 months

Text

.

#dont read this shit lmao it sucks #that christmas feeling when you realize that one or two good days doesnr break you out of the suicidal funk youve been in for months.#and you realize you really have no accomplishments and nothing in life to be proud of or look forward to.#and you realize you are really a fundamentally unlovable person who has wasted over 20 years of life that others have used to build familied #and you realize it will always be this way because something inside you is just fundamentally broken and undesirable and just.#just useless and completely unneeded by people and by the world at large and that youll never have the life you wanted #you just dont have the tools or the mental fortitude to start over and create the life you wanted for yourself and you never will #and all you have are temporary comforts that have no lasting impact on the world or even on your own life as a whole #and that you are basically just a parasite wasting space and wasting time until you finally die because nobody will ever truly want/need you #even if I got a job today thats really all im doing with my life. just waiting and wasting time and trying to make it more comfortable.#until i finally die and look back and realize thats all I ever did and i didnt even deserve that.#sorry but I feel like I just need to scream into the void even tho I hate being like this online.#but everyone i know has other bigger problems and they dont need to hear this so im just yelling at computer #i just want to be happy and feel fulfilled!! i just want to be loved!! but i am born incapable of these feelings bc i was just.#made wrong #or i made myself this way idk #but something went deeply wrong with my life and Im just stalling until its finally over #bc Im too scared to just end it myself no matter how much i fantasize about it.#this isnt a cry for help or anything I just feel like I need to say it and feel seen before I explode.#anyway I really deeply hate myself and I feel I am fundamentally not human and not deserving of my life #but i still hope maybe you wont unfollow bc maybe this stupid blog made uou smile once #and that maybe that makes you feel a connection idk. thats all i can do. thats all im capable of.#suicidal tw

3 notes · View notes

vogelmeister · 9 months

Text

some of my friends are going on a trip together this week and im more hurt by it than i should be

#am i hurt that they didnt invite me? ofc i am #but im just happy i was actually told this time #basically when i was in amsterdam three of my friends went to melbs together and one of them really wanted to tell me but the other two sai #no bc she'll get sad and upset abt it... like i wasn't in the city i hadnt shut up about for years #anyways this trip was booked in may last year so idk fam i wasn't as close with one of them back then #so they are forgiven #i get why i wasnt invited #but i still feel left out #im hurt but not as hurt as i was about not being told about melbourne #that hurt bc it instantly made clear how they saw me

4 notes · View notes

southislandwren · 1 year

Text

I love this judging playlist because I said no music was off limits and the grad students went fucking insane lol. we have like 45 songs (out of 100 so far) that are very much not in english and I'm SO excited

#one of the grad students was like 'does the music have to be in english?' and i was like no you can put whatever songs you want on here :D #im so happy that they added stuff bc I went through a phase where all i listened to was german death metal and i kinda miss the vibes #like non-english music is so cool to me i want to listen to it but like i dont really know how to listen to new music.#so making the grad students hand pick music for me.... hahaha yes #and last year the grad student and my coaches wouldnt put any of their music on the playlist #(but they DID hijack the radio on the way back so i know they couldve just asked me to add their songs to the playlist :////// )#and its like how can we experience the joy of cultural exchange when you are not exchanging.....#we made you listen to country and club music for over 8 hours and you couldnt even spare a single song........#but anyway i'm really excited for this trip i think its going to be so much fun #spotify wrapped called me Loyal and its like yeah i dont 'discover' new music i listen to the same artists until i die #anyway. its midnight i gotta go to bed #diary post

4 notes · View notes

lauradonnelly · 1 year

Note

tas my beloved are you okay 🥺💕

my sweet fyscka 🥺

#in all seriousness tho #it has Been A Day #i think today is the most i’ve cried since the finale aired 10 years ago???#such an emotional day for me #for all of us really #i went through the over 100 pages i have in my ‘the end’ tag and relived so many emotions 😭#and i’ve admittedly felt a little disconnected from merlin over the last few months #and i’m not sure why #but today reminded me of how important that show will always be to me #and now it’s irreparably damaged my psyche (lol)#but anyway!!#i am doing…ok #not great #like i’m so exhausted from all the tears and my eyes are so dry #and im #emotionally wiped out #but honestly i am just so proud of the fandom for persevering after a freaking decade of no new content #and as emotionally taxing as today was #it was the first time in a long time where my dash and the tags were flooded with endless merlin #and that made me really happy #just to know that our little fandom is still hanging in there #waiting for arthur to rise again 🥺#i love you fyscka thank you for checking on me 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛#feuxx #tas replies to things #lovely people

5 notes · View notes

westywallowing · 2 years

Text

exploring creative careers?? who knew could be kind of fun??

#reasonable #okay so i just finished my first year of American College and i was. unimpressed to say the least #when i was choosing which college to go to i had two choices: out of state (super expensive) for a creative major #or in-state (more reasonably affordable) for a more major #so i went with the safe option and did in-state #and i am.. not very impressed #i mean its a good school! i love the staff and the community and the campus #ive made amazing friends and socially feel very secure and happy #its the academics and career path that im not interested in at all #i kind of always told myself in highschool that id never be able to do creative careers because they just werent reasonable #which is not correct right i just wasnt giving myself the chance #this year has been INCREDIBLY taxing on me mentally due to my struggle with academics and my adhd #if u have adhd you know how draining it is to be forced to put all your energy into something that doesnt make u happy #its like punching concrete with your fist #but anyway the point is. ive been looking at beauty schools for cosmetology :)#its very daunting. in a big city really far away from home #but also achievable?? inspiring?? creative?? fun???#its not a set thing but. we'll see where the wind takes me!!#you never know #westy's shit

11 notes · View notes