#at all unless i am In It HOWEVER. there is this one silly video that brings me so much joy and made me feel semi-reasonable about listening

[crossbackpoke-check]

56 and any Yamo pairing! 🫶

i just wheezed so hard when i saw what the song was i almost snorted coffee out of my nose i am so sorry for this one

#56 - kyoto phoebe bridgers + yamo

the story of how this song ended up on my wrapped is too long so it’s going in the tags but. let me set the scene for you.

2026 NHL GLOBAL SERIES™️ JAPAN - Presented by YPPI

November 13 & 14, 2026: Dallas Stars, Montreal Canadiens, Seattle Kraken, Vancouver Canucks

Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan

It’s a pitiful excuse of a consolation prize for not being able to go to the Olympics, but Kailer’s not going to look a vacation horse in the mouth. The arena’s cool. It’s huge. The people are cool. There’s so many more of them than he thought there’d be with jerseys that have his name on the back, and a lot more that have the familiar orange and blue. He takes a picture of the fifth Oilers Yamamoto jersey he signs—this one’s the good Reverse Retro—and texts it to Connor, says,

no one here has even heard of mcjesus

and gets a moon face emoji in response. Leon’s influence. Kailer’s still never really deciphered what that one means, and he doesn’t think Connor knows either.

They don’t have a lot of time off between games, but Kailer’s trying to be a good tourist. His dad had been so happy when Kailer had told him about the series that Kailer’d had to stop him from trying to book a flight a year in advance, and his mom’s been just as bad, sending him every article she sees about Best New Spot in Tokyo! Cool Restaurant! Have You Seen This Japanese Cat Café? that she scrolls across on Facebook since June. Suzy’s in the same boat, so they’ve been crossing off their compiled travel-guide list together, looping in as many guys as they can. Everyone’s been pretty game. All the teams are crammed into close quarters at the same hotel, which means everyone wants to spend as much time as possible outside of it, and it helps that Kailer’s gotten pretty close with all the other guys that the NHL picked up as Global Series figureheads. Robo’s memes? Absolutely fire. The groupchat loves them.

For every item he crosses off the list, Kailer takes a picture and keeps it tucked in his phone notes. It’s like speed-running a scavenger hunt—they’re only here for four days—but he’s doing a pretty good job. His favorite so far has been all the gardens. They’re stunning, trees shining bright red and yellow, and every vendor has been selling maple candies, maple cakes, and even fried maple, though the official maple festival doesn’t start until next week. The second garden he visits, he does it on his own after practice, buying two cakes from a cart near the gate and walking until he loses the bustle outside. It’s easy to get lost in the winding pathways, heading deeper into the quiet, and there’s dozens of benches underneath the burnished leaves where young couples are tucked away on dates, or old friends are laughing and catching up. In some of the little clearings, there’s small shrines where people leave offerings, a prayer for good luck or good fortune.

Kailer stops at one without any people and sets the second maple cake on top of it, then sits and scrolls through all the texts that he’s missed. His mom gets replied to with a picture of him outside the garden gate, grinning and surrounded by other travelers. He sends his brother a picture of a trashy graphic I Love Japan t-shirt with the threat that he’ll buy one for him, and Kailer’s dad gets a picture of the meticulously arranged and cut bonsai that are across from the bench where he’s sitting. The Seattle groupchat gets a recycled meme from Robo, and he gets two thumbs up and an “LMAO” before he can even exit the thread. Finally, Kailer takes a picture of the half-eaten maple cake in his hand, holding it next to a fallen maple leaf on the bench, and gets halfway through typing another message before he thinks better of it.

(On the plane over, Drieds was reading them a story about how when they first introduced the high-speed railway, people were afraid to use it because they thought it would be too fast for their souls to keep up.

“Bro, if that were true, you just left your soul in the middle of the Pacific,” Ebs had laughed. “Planes are faster than trains.”

“Are they?” Matty asked. “Isn’t the train in Japan the fastest in the world?”

Drieds couldn’t make it through the rest of the story over the sound of everyone ripping Matty to shreds, so Kailer didn’t get to ask whether or not they found out anything about planes. Kailer’s not worried about his soul, but the logic makes a strange kind of sense; after all, he traveled 429 miles in five and a half hours once, and that was a little too fast for his heart to keep up.)

Fuck it. Kailer’s been trying to write a response for the past ten days, and he’s sick of swiping in and out of the message, staring at the keyboard so long he starts to see swirls in his vision.

Kailer drafts the text again and sends it, no context, no caption. A text travels faster than a high-speed train or a jet. Maybe it’ll pick his heart back up on the way.

#I don’t know how this song ended up on my Spotify wrapped because phoebe bridgers is too emotionally damaging for me to listen to like. #at all unless i am In It HOWEVER. there is this one silly video that brings me so much joy and made me feel semi-reasonable about listening #to kyoto & it’s the one video of the two painter guys painting the room & the lil guy is being a menace & the other guy just looks at him s #fondly & so lovingly & is that not the thesis of kailer yamamoto. be small be a menace be beloved by everyone. ANYWAY #liv in the replies #look this was going to be such a different thing and then. my brain went HEY BUDDY GUESS THE FUCK WHAT kyoto is a city in Japan. #day off in kyoto. guess who’s Japanese. guess what the nhl loves to do as HIFE publicity. also growing the AAPI audience is HUGE and i thin #they should. like originally i had NO idea what this was going to be (i’m so lying. the line ‘i’m gonna kill you’ but incredibly fond a la #the two painters video kept replaying in my head and i was like l m a o. klimmer & kailer. no plot all vibes it’s klimmer & Kailer that’s i #there is no real plot there is no actual idea the amount of googling that i did to write just this is UNREASONABLE i would love to be norma #about anything ever but i ALSO invented so much backstory to this that has no way of appearing in the actual fic and also jokes for ME #for instance. YPPI is the american manufacturer for yamaha motorcycles and. suzuki. yamamoto. (it’s not my brainworms it’s due to a fancam) #respectfully also i cannot write this fic. i have never been to japan and i think it would take me eight years to google enough #to be relatively comfortable like y’all have never seen the extensive research i put in to fucking phiLLY and a whole other COUNTRY??? #where the premise of the fic is learning how to be a tourist in your life and sometimes you have to grow out of things? #yeah i AM going to make something with the idea of Momijigari and life is ephemeral. is that a plot? no it’s vibes. #kailer goes to japan in the fall and realizes he’s a liar. who lies. (he misses [redacted]) (the redacted is because i haven’t decided) #also also. the garden reference is because a) i spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON GOOGLE and found out things to do in saitama and also that #kailer’s grandpa had a meticulous garden and i just think that’s neat #hiding-from-reality-56 #random ficlet is unbeta’d un-anything’d i don’t know WHERE this came from or the real plot of it at all. ok thanks byeeeee

[theminecraftbee]

so, you've been considering getting into hermitcraft.

that's great! welcome! we are an extremely enthusiastic fandom, i admit, but we are very happy to have you watching the hermits! however, with over a decade of existence and twenty-seven current hermits, it can feel very intimidating to get into hermitcraft. luckily, as of the time of this posting--january 31st, 2024--it's also the BEST time to get into hermitcraft, because a new season starts on february 3rd! (and if you're reading this later: don't worry. this is ALSO the best time to get into hermitcraft. don't worry about it i'll get into that.)

the shortest version of this advice is: start wherever you want, with whoever you want. it doesn't matter, you can catch up.

still, it can seem like a lot. so, from someone who's been around since mid season seven, here is a more detailed guide on how to start watching hermitcraft!

what is hermitcraft?

hermitcraft is a collection of people who all play on the same survival multiplayer minecraft server. that server is a mostly vanilla minecraft server; i don't really call hermitcraft "vanilla" anymore, as they rely on a number of largely cosmetic mods, but the things they do on hermitcraft should, broadly, all be possible in vanilla minecraft, and the server still "feels" vanilla, so. vanilla minecraft. they do this in "seasons", which are periods of time between a year and two years, after which they reset and start on a fresh server.

in comparison to something like qsmp or even the life series, hermitcraft leans heavily on the "building cool things and hanging out" side of the spectrum as opposed to the roleplay side. however, at least once a season the hermits like to do a big storyline; sometimes, it's more frequent. many of the storylines are more natural escalations of things like server prank wars or a failing server economy, though, as opposed to things that are clearly in-universe roleplaying. don't worry, though; you'll know a hermitcraft storyline when you see it. by everyone's bad acting. also, by rendog putting on a silly accent.

if your only impression of hermitcraft has been from the fandom, you... probably have a somewhat mistaken impression. my bad. in my defense, i am a horror writer at heart, and in the fandom's defense, a LOT of crossover has happened with the life series fandom, which leads to both sort of leaking into each other. in general, expect things to be on the lighthearted goofy shenanigans side with very few exceptions when you're actually watching hermitcraft, despite the way the fandom tends to be.

where is hermitcraft?

broadly, youtube! hermitcraft is an almost entirely video series, and if you want to watch a hermitcrafter, you will almost certainly need to watch them on youtube. there are only very rarely streamed hermitcraft events, and these are normally announced ahead of time.

what if i prefer twitch?

skip the rest of this and just watch joe hills. i promise i'm not saying that because i'm a joe hills guy; i'm saying it because he's the only hermit that consistently streams from hermitcraft. impulse, tango, cleo, pearl, xisuma, iskall, and hypno all also appear to stream fairly regularly, but it's not always from hermitcraft.

where should i start?

now, that's the real question, isn't it? my answer is simple: start Now. if you're reading this as i post it, that means start this saturday on everyone's episode one. if you're reading this long after i post it, though, just... go ahead and start with whoever you want to watch's latest episode! the nice thing about hermitcraft is that you can GENERALLY jump in wherever you want.

but what about old seasons?

you do not need to watch older seasons of hermitcraft. unless you want to, of course; the world is your oyster and they are very good! however, there's also a LOT of old hermitcraft, and if you want to join in with what hermitcraft is doing now, old seasons aren't necessary. very little carries over from season to season. while sometimes old "lore" or recurring bits can carry references over, and the relationships between hermits will often carry over to some extent (if often not in the same patterns), it is never to an extent that you need the old seasons for context. each season is a clean new slate, and where "lore" carries over, the relevant hermit will almost always explain it to you.

what about helsknight/evil x/hotguy/boatem/convex/some other thing i've been hearing about?

i promise, if they are relevant to this season, they will explain it to you in the relevant episode and/or it will be easy enough to pick up. do not worry about it. each season is a soft reset for a reason, and one of those reasons is to make it easier on new viewers! and if you're here because you WANTED one of those specific things... ask an older fan! they'll be able to direct you to the places they're from.

do i need to watch all the hermits?

absolutely not! in fact, i strongly recommend you don't. there are going to be... hold on let me count... twenty-seven hermits? (i am bad at counting don't quote me on this) in this season alone. keeping up with all those videos is too much for basically anyone! instead, pick a few hermits that you like best, and if you want to keep up with everyone else, go to the hermitcraft recap youtube channel and watch that! it is a vital hermitcraft resource where pixlriffs, zloyxp, and lyarrah all watch every single hermit so that we don't have to. honor their sacrifice and don't try to watch everyone.

but how do i pick someone?

few ways! there exist, if you google, plenty of "choosing your hermit pov" quizzes; if you head over to the hermitcraft subreddit, for example, i'll be SHOCKED if they don't have one, and if you go over to the recap channel, they had one of those for a while too. this is the starting place for many people.

another way is to watch the recap and choose whoever's project interests you most. for early episodes, this may be hard, but since hermits tend to go hard for their first episode, you'll normally at least be able to pick up a sense of pace and build style.

just watching whoever it is your friends are obsessed with is also a tried and true method of finding your first hermit; frequently, like with the recap, this is a good method for then figuring out whose style you like best, and switching to them, if you don't end up clicking with the same people your friends click with.

finally, you can just... click a random hermit's channel! try a few out! maybe you heard about decked out and want to watch tango; maybe there's a storyline you want to start watching because the dash has been rambling about it; maybe you just want to know who this grain character is. clicking around until you find the guy whose editing you click with is a totally valid strategy!

that sounds hard. just pick someone for me.

if you like well-edited shenanigans: grian or mumbo jumbo. (these are also good starter hermits in general, i've found; if you aren't sure where else to start, start with one of them.)

if you like long background noise-type videos: docm77

if you like minigames: tangotek.

if you like a chill video: xbcrafted or, if the texture pack gets you, vintagebeef.

if you like storylines: rendog or grian, again. (i was trying not to double-up, but if you're here from an rp-heavy server, grian remains a great entry point in that regards.)

if you like to see something new and bizarre: zedaph if you prefer highly-edited videos, joe hills if you prefer lightly edited videos.

if you want the best building on hermitcraft: pearlescentmoon or bdoubleo100, special mention to goodtimeswithscar.

if you want someone as new as you: i'll come back and edit in whoever the new hermits are once we know! but them.

if you just want one of my favorites: zombiecleo or iskall85.

thank you! what if i DO want to know what the fandom is always on about?

that, i'm afraid, i don't know how to help you with. you'll just have to watch hermitcraft from here--and maybe read some of the fanworks that have intrigued you--and find out for yourself!

good luck out there, and i hope this has helped someone!

#mcyt #hermitcraft #long post #...a tag i normally resolutely don't use but i don't want this under a cut and it IS very long #ANYWAY HERE IT IS MY THEORETICAL GUIDE!

[cripplecharacters]

hi! long ask up next.

I'm not sure if this is the right blog for this question, i'm really sorry if it's not. I'm part of a theatre class/group that is putting on Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. The teacher has a very specific vision in mind that i generally vibe with. However, she's asking me to play a character in a way that might be offensive. I play two characters, one of them is Snug. There's a play within the play that an incompetent artisan theatre troupe is putting on, which snug is a part of. In our version, snug is meant to have a speech impediment (the teacher hasnt given me more specific directions on how to talk). I did a bit of research and decided that my version of snug has dysarthria (no dysphasia or aphasia) from a degenerative disease that he inherited from his dad. Im trying to play him as having distorsion and omission type articulation errors, in the initial and medial positions respectively, but it's been very hard for me to consistently play him like that becuase i dont have his disability. The only correction the teacher has given me so far is to speak slower so my dialogue is more comprehensible.

Now, i shouldn't have, but i did watch some scenes on youtube with snug in them. And none of the versions i saw give him a speech sound disorder, from what i could tell. What most versions do have in common though, is that the artisans who are putting on the play are, for lack of a better term, meant to be "dumb". Snug specifically has a line which i didn't realize was supposed to be a dig at his own intelligence until i saw a clip. The line is:

Have you the lion's part written? pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study.

In the video i saw, the actor paused briefly after saying "slow", for emphasis:

for I am slow... of study.

I'm autistic and i know what it's like for people to assume i'm "slow" because of how i talk, and i don't want to promote those stereotypical views.

What makes this whole conundrum more complicated for me is that our version is going to be (sort of?) a musical. And my teacher is adamant on me rapping an eminem song. I thought this would be fun but thinking about it more carefully i worry that the joke might be that snug is faking his disability for some reason, and that he can actually speak "normally".

sorry if some of this isnt clear, english is not my first language.

Anon S

Hello! I wanted to address this ask as a former actor and current student studying speech language pathology as well as someone with an articulation disorder.

You can give a backstory in your head as detailed as you want - and as an actor this is a good thing, and something you should do with every role no matter how complicated or simple - but the unfortunate truth is most audience members are not going to interpret it exactly the same way without the same context. You may be thinking of portraying a mixed dysarthria (and there are many types of dysarthria, from spastic to flaccid to ataxic, to mixed that will all have difference in sound quality, articulation, and rate) but unless it's written somewhere the audience, who is just noticing a slow rate and articulation errors, and who may not even be aware of what dysarthria is, may think your character has some dialect or strange difference they don't recognize.

From my knowledge of the play, the Rude Mechanicals are meant to be laughed at and this falls into the idea that people with certain speech patterns or disorders are funny or silly or even, yes, stupider than others. However, there's not much you can do about this if your director is insistent other than refuse to treat your character as a joke. I would feel better about a character with consistent errors and whose disability was thought through than one who wasn't, even with a character like a Rude Mechanical.

As for a disability disappearing during a rap, for something like stuttering that would make sense but not for an articulation disorder and certainly not for dysarthria, which causes a slower rate normally and can cause articulation issues due to coordination of the parts used to speak (not only the mouth but also the soft and hard palates and the lungs, for example). I would talk to your director about what the point of the rap is - is it to be funny? is it to show another side of him? why does this character need a speech disorder? why does this character need to rap, and why does the speech disorder need to be dropped during the rap?

If you can talk with your director and figure out what the vision is for some honestly bizarre choices it may help you figure out if you're on the right track (and if dysarthria is the right choice for a disorder for your character, as well). As always, if anyone has advice or input please feel free to add it!

#theatre #anonymous #mod bert #speech disability representation

[funishment-time]

🌠 DANGANRONPA-THEMED CHARITY EVENT FOR TRANS LIFELINE, FAM

From now until the end of 2024, I’m raising money for Trans Lifeline by playing Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony…for the very first time.

And you humans can help with bingo cards (to win prizes).

TOTAL RAISED SO FAR AS OF 1/24: $1006/$2500

>DONATE $5 OR MORE FOR A BINGO CARD<

or learn more about the game by Clicking Through Below!

🌠 About Trans Lifeline:

Trans Lifeline is a grassroots hotline and microgrants 501(c)(3) non-profit organization offering direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis – for the trans community, by the trans community.

They also, incidentally, will not contact the cops or emergency services without your consent. Since this is Tumblr, I doubt I need to state the importance of this nonprofit (or that policy).

🌠 About me (Iris Polaris):

I am a polar bear streamer and "VTuber" who specializes in occult, art, and nature content, as well as VNs, sims, RPGs, and survival games, all to learn about you silly primates. Danganronpa is kind-of all of those genres at once. Kind-of.

In the past I've raised about ~$2500 USD across two events. I want to beat that. Just POUND it, y'all. My goal this time around is to raise $2500 USD for Trans Lifeline.

🌠 How to participate:

DONATE. Donate any amount to the Trans Lifeline (minimum $5 USD) here at this event's Tiltify. Leave contact info (an e-mail, Tumblr username, etc) in the comment of the donation or when choosing a reward. NOTE: You must donate thru our Tiltify so I can keep track of the total and contact you.

RECEIVE YOUR CARD. After donating, you will receive a randomized PDF bingo card like this one at your provided e-mail, Tumblr username, etc within 48 hours. Each space on the card represents a prediction I have about v3, a reaction I may have to the characters, etc.

WATCH THE BIWEEKLY-ISH YT VIDEOS. I'll be playing the game offline (i.e. not streamed) with my Manager Bunny. However, every 2-4 weeks, I'll publish a 10 minute or less YouTube video on my account until we finish the game. These videos will be compiled montages of all the spaces participants can mark off that week. These will not be long play videos!

EARN A PRIZE. If you get a bingo, tell me when it happens! Contact me via e-mail ([email protected]), on Twitter (@IrisPolarisEN), on Discord (irispolaris), or here on Tumblr (funishment-time or iris-polaris). All bingo winners get to choose from the prize pool at the end of the event (see below) in order of their wins!

🌠 Prize pool:

For fairness' sake, every bingo winner gets to choose one prize, regardless of how many times they get a bingo. More prizes to be added soon!

DIGITAL PRIZES (UNLIMITED AVAILABLE UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED):

Character-themed phone BG commission: I'll make you a lovely little background for your phone based on existing official art. Examples (1 | 2 | 3).

Character-themed icon commission: I'll make you a lovely little 500x500 icon based on existing official art. Examples (1 | 2 | 3).

250-word general tarot reading: I'll pull a single card for you and give you an overview of what's to come. Here's an example.

Short astrological (zodiac) birthchart: I'll give you a short astrological birthchart that includes your Sun, Moon, and Rising signs. You must provide me your date of birth and location of birth, so don't choose this if you're not comfortable with that! Here's an example.

Bust-up sketch commission by Tane Aspen: 10 available. The wonderful Tane has donated art commissions to the cause! Here's an album of examples.

Bust-up sketch commission by YogurtFluff: 1 available. Darling YogurtFluff (aka Gracie) has donated another art commission to the cause! Here's examples of their art.

Twitch panel set commission by Jar of Rubies Art aka Zenith: 1 available. Are you a streamy streamer? Zenith, who made my own personal Twitch panels and overlays, has donated a commission for a set herself! Here's examples of her work.

Pixel art commission by @🌸 🌿 Faerieko. 1 available. Commission a chibi pixel bust from my dear Mama Faerieko! See a cute EXAMPLE.

PHYSICAL PRIZES (SHIPPING ADDRESS REQUIRED):

Iris-themed sticker set: 5 sets available. Three different ~"3 stickers by Studio Nekomata featuring yours truly.

Fortune-telling Bear patch: 2 available. A ~3" sew-on patch by Studio Nekomata featuring yours truly.

Iris-themed RPG charm: 2 available. A double-sided RPG-inspired charm by Studio Nekomata featuring yours truly.

Fortune-telling Bear charm: 5 available. A ~3" charm of yours truly, readin' the future and all that, with art by @faerieko.

1.5" Kaede & Shuichi buttons by MachineDean: 3 sets of 2 buttons available. Your delightful totally alive protagonists in adorable button form. (Pic)

DR v3-themed stickers by other folks. 2 available of each sticker. Choose three from these designs (album link - better/bigger images coming ASAP).

Please note that the presence of prizes from independent creators does NOT imply that they condone this event. Or even know about it. So don't ask them about stuff.

Donations to the prize pool are welcome, but not necessary. Please contact at me at [email protected] or here on Tumblr (funishment-time or iris-polaris) if you have a piece of merch or service (commissions, graphic design etc) you want to give.

🌠 Goal incentives:

MONODAM LEVEL: $100 raised. Art sketch request stream. Monodam turns me into a sketch robot for a stream. Beep boop bitch. ☑️ ACHIEVED AS OF 9/8, STREAM HELD 11/28

MONOPHANIE LEVEL: $500 raised. Giveaway. Detective Duo poster by Cheer puppy. Monophanie woke up in a good mood, so she's giving away a 16" by 20" poster of our favorite v3 protagonists...or, well, I guess, the only v3 protagonists. (This item will be given away on stream, date TBD.) ☑️ ACHIEVED AS OF 9/9

MONOKID LEVEL: $1000 raised. Danganronpa WWE content. I use whatever wrestling game I can pirate find and custom-make Danganronpa characters y'all vote on. Then we fight 'em. Offline-recorded video series. HOO YEAH!

MONOSUKE LEVEL: $1500 raised. Giveaway. DR1 Steam game key. Monosuke knows the best way to bring in business is to give people stuff. Any kind of stuff. DR1 isn't the game he's in, but like, does it matter? It's free! (This item will be given away on stream, date TBD.)

MONOTARO LEVEL: $2000 raised. Return of the hot sauce stream. Like Monotaro, I'm forgetful. Specifically, I've forgotten how much my previous hot sauce stream hurt me on my birthday. So we're going at it again, new sauces, new pain, date TBD.

MONOKUMA LEVEL: $2500+ raised. 12 hour marathon Summer Camp stream. Fulfill my goal of being the Ultimate Fundraiser and I'll sit and play Danganronpa S Ultimate Summer Camp for 12 hours nonstop. And do all the voices. Puhuhu...huhuhu. (Date TBD.)

MASTERMIND LEVEL: $3000+ raised. Every winner gets an additional prize. Peasants! We have been waiting for oh-so-long! Knock things out of the park and every bingo winner gets to choose an additional prize...and a sample of my famous home cooking! (Home cooking not included.)

🌠 Important dates:

DONATIONS ACCEPTED BEGINNING: August 21st, 2023

VIDEOS/EVENT BEGINS: Sept 9, 2023

VIDEOS/EVENT ENDS: When we're done with the game. Probably no later than December or January. Or maybe much sooner. This is going to take a while, actually. But we'll post about it everywhere (here, Twitter, etc), don't worry.

DONATIONS ACCEPTED UNTIL: The event ends. See above. You can get a bingo card up until our last video, which will be announced well in advance (here, Twitter, etc). Note, however, you'll be at a slight disadvantage to choose a prize, as bingo winners get to choose in order of their wins.

🌠 Important links:

Trans Lifeline's website

Our fundraiser Tiltify (donate here! Remember: leave contact info!)

My YouTube channel (the bingo videos go here!)

My Discord, or my Twitter, or my Tumblrs (1 | 2), for updates

🌠 FAQ:

Where can I donate? Via our Tiltify! Include contact info in the comment of your donation if you want a bingo card.

Where can I find updates? You can find updates here on funishment-time or iris-polaris, on my YouTube, on my Twitter, or on my Discord.

Do any donations touch your wallet? Nope. All proceeds go directly to Trans Lifeline via Tiltify. I don't get a cent of it, not even for a second.

Do I have to donate via Tiltify to participate? Yes, sorry. This is the only way I can easily keep track. However, Tiltify accepts any form of currency IIRC.

Can I get a bingo card for a friend? Yes, but you must donate twice (or more), even if it means donating $5 USD each time. I will issue you two (or more) cards, and you can give them out as you wish.

Can I donate without participating in the bingo? Totes. Just ignore all the bingo stuff if you want. But you won't get any cool prizes!

What if, on the bingo card, I see a prediction that I know is true? If, for example, Miu survives the game and you know it, don't mark the space until I get to that point in the game. This means that you do not get a bingo until I get to that point in the game. (Example: if you need the "Miu survives" space to get a bingo, it's not a bingo until I get there. I tried to balance this out by providing spaces about the way I play the game, too.)

Is this really your first time playing v3? Yes. I know like two spoilers (the killer and victim of trial 1, for example) and I understand the characters' personalities from Summer Camp, but I've never played the game.

Isn't it a little weird to play a killing game...game for Trans Lifeline? Yeah, but like, the fandom is super queer anyway so why not.

Are you trans? Sort-of. Queer/genderweird, definitely. Any pronouns are fine. I like to think of my gender as..."bear."

🌠 BINGO VIDEOS SO FAR:

Week 1 (9/8): 5 spaces

Week 2 (9/21): 6 spaces

Week 3 (10/12): 4 spaces

Week 4 (11/12): 2 spaces

Week 5 (1/24): 3 spaces

✨ Thank you for spreading the word...or for participating! ✨

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #ndrv3 killing harmony #danganronpa ndrv3 #charity event #charity #trans lifeline #trans #transgender

[spacedykez]

violence? WOOO!! lifesteal.

so, you heard about a silly little server called lifesteal. maybe u wanna try watching it. well what if i told u that we here at lifestealblr have put together a helpful guide to help you succumb to the poisons start watching the server?? join us we are very normal

so! lifesteal! first, a summary. lifesteal is a server where when u die, you lose a heart off your permanent health bar. when you kill another player you gain a heart. heres a list to sum it up:

dying loses you a heart

killing someone else gains you a heart

losing all your hearts = dead and gone from the series, unless youre revived

you can revive dead players through gay sex crafting a special item

you can withdraw hearts from your healthbar and give them to other players

still have questions? heres a better explanation. ok moving on

lifesteal smp has FOUR seperate seasons so far!! the players are the same, give or take a few people. so, where to start?

first, you don't need to watch the seasons in order. you don't need to know anything about previous seasons to watch lifesteal. start with whatever season you want!! that being said, i'd advise starting on season three or season four (the current season) as they are the most popular.

anyways, if you want to just start watching: here is the link to the playlist containing every lifesteal video on youtube, seasons 1-4 here is the link to the playlist containing every season 3 lifesteal video here is the link to the playlist containing every season 4 lifesteal video

[thank you to @a4g and @aroaceacacia for creating and maintaining the lifesteal s1-4 & lifesteal s3 and the lifesteal s4 playlists, respectively]

HOWEVER

if you'd like to start out slow, pick one lifestealer and start watching them!! honestly, the best way to get into it is just to find a guy (or ten) that you like watching and watch their videos!

a note- i am tagging the user who created each propaganda post so that if people change their urls, you will still be able to find the post. theyre definitely NOT the lifestealers themselves lol. also, some of these are not finished! however this has been sitting in my drafts for six months and i need to post it for my own mental health

i should make this a google docs actually. might do that sometime if i get motivation. but anyways, without further ado:

looking for redstone? mrcube (@tater-noodle)

want to feed the adhd? no rlly if u want adhd fuel watch ashswag (@cherubium)*

ever wanted to see capitalist technoblade? reddoons (@bearandhoney-com)

do you want a new cringefail streamer? itzsubz (@rendogdomesticated)

what about a paranoid escape master? rekrap (@vanivanvanilla)

loyalty and storylines to get invested in? leowook (@totallynotrico)

everyone's favorite special little guy? planetlord (@getwoold)

want gay people or pranks? then go watch branzy (@pacificseaotter)

the server's best PVPer? clownpierce [NEEDED] (NOT TAKEN)

1/3 of a whole idiot on a permanent YouTube grind? baconwaffles (@aroaceacacia)

local bird man done with everyone's shit? parrot (@getwoold)

the local funky hand guy? roshambo (@techno-in-a-boat)

background character incarnate? poafa (@simply-scrolling)

the special little guy who can and will kill you? spepticle (@cogmented)

quirky smiley guy who'll kill you? princezam (@vanivanvanilla)

incomprehensible violence! mapicc! (@cogmented)

sillay liddol guy? Creechur™️? pangi [NEEDED] (NOT TAKEN)

DRAGON GUYY!!! vortexdragon. (@vanivanvanilla)

lifesteal's local polar bear? woogie (@tater-noodle)

stuborrn, endearing guy who likes a challenge? jaron (@aroaceacacia)

cringefail foxboy streamer? vitalasy (@rendogdomesticated)

the walking pride flag guy? spoke (@a4g)

"annoying little brother" but endearing? mcclutch!! (@simply-scrolling)

chaotic rascal who loves doing events? midmystic!! (@xxswagcorexx)

awesome visuals and serious storylines? terrain!! (@cherubium)

*my girlfriend's favorite lifestealer and approved by multiple friends of mine with adhd. i really do recommend him just in general.

also, please do go check out the blog of everyone who helped me with this, they're all amazing!!!

#lifesteal smp #lifesteal #lssmp #<--mostly 4 my own categorization #the otter splashes #moths lifesteal project #the otter advertises

[stelladess]

So instead of doing something fun I wake up to finding out more bs from Yostar Korea, I will explain below but first, reminder, please write in about this to Yostar and Hypergryph (again, unlikely HG had anything to do with this but their silence on this matter is still extremely disappointing) [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]

They did not take down an artist´s work this time for extremely flimsy reasons and call not hating women a divisive position that divides people and then go on about how Arknights strives to be apolitical. Or have the social media manager liking on the official AK Korea twitter account art of Jessica being tortured. This time it was a bit less severe, they censored Jessica the Liberated in game artwork.

For those unaware there is a conspiracy theory in South Korea about there being a wide spread thing of femenists in video games hiding hand signs that imply small dicks in gacha games specificallly to harass men. Because of this many gacha games will censor any hand gesture that can even remotely resemble such when publishing in Korea, this is very common and done by many gacha games. Which like, is part of the problem. They are catering to sexist pigs which then helps cultivate an audience of said sexist pigs who they need to keep placating. And quite frankly, the people who make these games, artists, writers, etc. Deserve to be treated better then to have their work censored or removed to appease sexists. Because I love Arknights and it means a lot to me it really hurts seeing the people making it have their work be disrespected like this by the publisher, and it hurts seeing the studio being silent about this. I strongly suggest completely boycotting originite packs and similar things, make clear on any survey for the game that actions such as this make you NOT want to spend money on the game, WRITE to both Yostar and Hypergryph and explain you do NOT want to support a game that bends over to the whims of sexist pigs. I want to be able to say that I did *something* about this. Arknights is the gacha game I have spent the most money in, but I have a hard time justifying doing so anymore if this situation continues, which I am going to tell Yostar and Hypergryph, and I think anyone reading this should do so as well, also I think you should tell other people to tell them that as well. Yostar needs to issue a full apology and put back all the artworks they took down or censored to the way they were, and unless that or HG cutting off their partnership with Yostar happens, or at the very least strongly condemns these actions, I am gonna stop buying any more packs for the game. I do however suggest you go support artists harmed by such practices, im sure other people know of more but the only one I know of from the top of my head is here: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/16826909 For Arknights ones, for other games i also know at least of Vellmori for Limbus Company who was also targetted by incels. EDIT: had written poll instead of survey by accident

EDIT: Previously suggested boycotting Jessica banner, this was a pretty silly suggestion made in anger when not thinking clearly. The important thing is to refuse to give any MONEY. Pull all you want. Just dont spend ANY money.

#arknights #jessica the liberated #yostar #yostar korea #incel nonsense #arknights jessica #jessica arknights

[maymeowmoo]

X & FM redesigns!

[Note: I am treating em as characters and not their irl counterparts. However! I will base some headcanons on their irl counterparts!]

Felt like witting some Halfcanon/Headcanon (Are interpretations of a character lines considered canon??? idk) stuff below! I will put a '*' with a link to the 'halfcanon/interpreted' stuff so u know where it came from, so the ones without a link besides them are most likley full on headcanons :3

(The section below is still a MASSIVE W.I.P! u.u Wanna work on it overtime tbh~ In other words I'll add onto here once I re-watch more~ ^u^/) (Oh and a small warning the section is/will be HUGE. Lossa scrolling!!!)

X has trouble reading (I would headcanon it as dyslexia tbh)*

FMs favorite food are Beans but he dislikes Doritos (The opposite of his irl/channel counterpart)*

Nowadays when the crew is having adventures X tends to procrastinate and play video games*. He is actually very happy with being 'retired'.

FM simps over characters with pigtails. That's why he ties his hair in the same style!*

X has total boomer energy. He prefers a simplistic lifestyle.

FM is the weakest canonical character (dang u_u) so to make up for it he is resourceful and has good aim. He did get into the police force after all.

X likes cute things and is very comfortable with that fact.* FM also likes cute things! Issa one of the things they bond over as friends :D

X is rather positive but if you tick him he will make sure you know u ticked him! He is also the sanest of all the Smg4 characters (though that doesn't say much does it?)

FM can be quite silly but is still responsible especially on duty. Unless you have a penguin ofc*.

[Edit1: Nov 27/Year 2023]

X sometimes takes FMs penguin on stroller rides*

X is quick to resolve conflict (duh!)*

X likes to play chess and is decent at it. (Boomerrrr energyy/Nah I also like chess tbh)*

X got all his firearms* from FM who actually stole them from his workplace. X always keeps them around in case of a zombie apocalypse.

(Uh adding on to the thing above hehe) X is obsessed with zombies. He hates them very much.*

FM owns a diary and has a hand written friends list.*

FM doesn't like old people.*

FM doesn't like stuffy things -o-/ (understandably so... Idk if I should add this since most ppl don't like stuffy things but why not add it ig)*

I don't know what to do with this FM info below but uh... ok ig?*

[Note/Credit?: The plushies are from the -> Official shop <- & the 64 models I took from the -> Wiki! <-]

#smg4 #smg4 fanart #smg4 fm #smg4 x #smg4 art

[wannabepapa]

You're stuck on paternity leave and I'm running errands, leaving you all alone in the house (alone as you can be, with several nuggets growing inside you). Describe your day, from the moment you wake until I arrive home late at night ❤

waking up would be a chore with these two nuggets weighing me down. i definitely need a good morning kiss and help up from bed so i can make as fast of a waddle run to the bathroom because one of the babies is sitting right on my bladder. try to shower since you're already leaving so a bath is out of the question unless i want to be stuck in the tub all day.

i'm already winded from the walk from the bedroom to the kitchen so i take a little break to rub around my expanse. the skin is tight and feels a bit dry so i make a note to get out the cocoa butter to rub into my skin to help out with the dryness and to massage the stretchmarks. breakfast is hearty thanks to the two nuggets taking all the calories for themselves so i need to eat extra to keep my energy up. the little cleaning i can manage to do is done in slow bursts while nibbling from my plate. they're both still asleep so i have a small window before they wake up and i have to sit down to wait them out.

then it's party time for them. i sit in the living room surrounded by snacks, drinks, and soft things for however long they wriggle around watching TV. to be honest i'm already so exhausted and it isn't even noon yet so napping is a must. i'm growing two whole babies i'm allowed to nap when I want! get up after my nap to probably pee again and make lunch because the snacks aren't filling me enough. now nothing sounds good at home so i order my favorite take-out in double quantity so i can eat all i want then have some for later if i'm still hungry ( which i always am ).

after that there really isn't much to do. i do a bit of cleaning, waddle to the bathroom a lot, and try to pick up around the nursery because nesting is real. you'll probably get photos and videos from me ranging from a cute belly pic surrounded by my softest blankets and videos of the twins doing crazy gymnastics with a silly caption "look at these moves! we'll need to put them in kick boxing or gymnastics!" you might even get texts from me complaining that i miss you and you should just come home. the errands can wait! your pregnant husband needs attention and i want to snuggle you right now.

#;ask and ye shall receive #tmpreg #nonbinary preg #multiples pregnancy #;these twins are really acting up and i think you should come home and ground them for being so mean 🥺 #;this pregnant papa is too tired to do anything but whine about being alone #;next time you should just bring me with you! i can be helpful!! #let-me-fill-you

[sumikatt]

frankly, i think your point about "some people train their own AI art models" is inherently flawed because rhe vast majority of people are not training their own model. they are paying for a service which was trained on art that was taken from the internet and used without permission in order for a machine to try snd recreate something similar bit by bit. i havent gotten a commission from someone who isnt a friend of mine in well over a year because people are just choosing to generate art with AI. i dont think AI art isnt "real" art because yeah, i agree with you, the whole idea of real art or not is complex. however, it is an undeniable reality that AI is trained on the work of artists all over the world who do not even get asked for permission before a tech company makes money off of their hard work.

I agree it’s a small, small portion of people making their own models that ensure that all art involved is used with consent. Many people buy a subscription or credits to generate what they want. Most people probably use free credits on Discord to make a meme or anime girls. Many people use it many different ways, yes.

I’m sorry you’ve lost a client over it. I know commissions are hard. Freelancers without dedicated clients would be the ones to suffer most from the popularity of AI art. I can’t say I’ve felt the impact myself, since it’s also very popular to be anti-AI.

Actively searching through job boards, I also feel like it has barely affected those listings. Maybe one of like 300 art jobs in the USA/Sweden asked for AI experience (Prompt Artist), and it was an AI startup. The “normal” art jobs like UI/UX, Environments, Materials, Concept, Technical, Animator, etc all still asking for 3 years experience for entry level lmao. Saw an intern position that required an “industry-standard” portfolio. So still a pain as it was before advanced AI gen.

Many paid AI art services have takedown options for their training sets and can block names from being prompted. If you were a popular enough artist to be in a training set, you can remove it and block the majority of AI art users from copying you—like you said, a majority of people use these services instead of self-hosting.

(Sending DMCA takedown requests are actually pretty easy. I had to send one to an old teacher who reposted my art and a bunch of classmates’ art on her ArtStation. that was funny lol)

I’m not sure how I felt when I went to search up my art on haveibeentrained. Because I’m a nerd, I’d preemptively blocked scrapers on my portfolio, so nothing was there when I looked. Searched up my legal name, my old Twitter (which had some popular pieces), my old DeviantArt usernames. Nothing there, either. I was probably pruned from the set for being low-quality. Kinda funny, I thought I’d be good enough to include at least once. Maybe next time.

.safetensors / .ckpt files (which are the models Stable Diffusion runs) have no image data in them, by the way. It is all math and numbers in there. There is no way of telling what was included in the training set, unless the dev(s) that made the model release it publicly. The models themselves are usually around 3–6 GB, though there’s larger ones and mini ones.

Like my own silly brain, there’s no way of tracking down the exact art pieces the software was referencing off of when it generates something. Am I making money off of another artist’s hard work when I remember how to draw heads from a Proko video? Am I ripping off photographers when I recall their pictures when drawing my characters? I’m not a tech company, but I still make money off of the things I copy and filter through my mind and hand.

I’m rambling at this point, sorry. Of course, the core issue is capitalism. How different would people see this medium if money were not an issue? How futuristic, how exciting it is to visualize something from words alone. It’s that art machine I’d always wanted as a kid, where I think of something and it pops out on the page finished.

I think it is worth to uplift those who use the medium as ethically as they can, as @are-we-art-yet is doing—having a do-not-use artist list, avoiding corporations, don’t try to undercut traditional artists. Like with any medium, there’s a variety of artists. Some are nice and do their best to have a good impact, some don���t care at all about the ethics of their art.

I’m still pretty firmly a “traditional” artist. I won’t stop drawing or give up because of AI. I play with AI on my own hardware and power for fun and for getting ideas (is that stealing?). It’s mostly replaced scrolling through Pinterest for me, but I still save people’s art and photos that I like in my computer, so I can look at em later, maybe get inspired. And steal like an artist, I guess.

#.s #ai art #long post #sorry. i have thoughts syndrome and on painkillers 👍 #anonymous

[space-writes]

hi! you convinced me to download obsidian and give it a shot. its honestly quite confusing for someone with 0 knowledge about coding. im watching some youtube videos to try and figure it out, because it looks like an interesting program, but its still pretty hard. do you have any suggestions/resources to learn how to use it? also, i have a silly question. how do you go from the markdown page to the preview page, like in your template post image? thank you very much

hello! welcome to obsidian, im happy you’re giving it a shot!

to answer the second part of your question first:

you can switch with either the command palette and the commands ‘toggle reading mode’ to switch to reading mode (no editing at all), or ‘toggle live preview/source mode’ to switch between plain markdown and live preview (the two different editing mode)

or you can use the toggle button in the status bar that looks like this:

I like to use the commands, so I assigned hotkeys in the settings menu: Ctrl+E to switch between reading and live preview edit mode; Ctrl+S to switch from live preview to plain markdown.

getting started notes and resources below the cut!

i will agree, Obsidian can be a little confusing. however! unless you want to get into modifying how it looks with custom CSS or making plugins, you don’t need coding knowledge!

The key thing for writing in it is markdown, and there’s a link in my resources list below about that. Once you crack markdown, you’re set.

The other key thing is knowing what you want obsidian to do/be for you. If you just want it to keep text notes, make a single folder and make text notes. Link them if you like. If you want it to be all-singing all-dancing do-everything manage-your-entire-life…well, that’s going to take a bit more work, but it can be done!

I truly truly suggest starting small (yes yes i know i didn’t but i am full of gay audacity and also i like poking at these kind of programs). Make one note, and figure out markdown. Make another note, and see how you can link them. Make one or two folders and see if they work for you. Try out tagging the things you write to organise them, and see if that works for you (you can use hashtags in the note itself, same kinda tags you use on here!) Copy a few notes from other places in and play around with themes to see what kind of appearance you like. Open up the settings and toggle things on and off, see what changes. Obsidian really encourages playing around and being curious, I feel, so get curious!

All that said, here’s a list of some resources that will hopefully be helpful:

obligatory link to Obsidian Help

Danny Hatcher’s Obsidian for beginners- it has timestamped sections for all the main features.

Another Danny video: Starting with Obsidian. He goes through setting up an example vault (with a template you can download), looking at the settings.

Basically any of Danny’s videos I recommend, he explains things in a really accessible way imo. He has several covering more complex plugings like Dataview and Metadata Menu as well. Go say hi in his comments, he's a good dude!

This beginner guide covers the basics in article form, rather than another video

If markdown is confusing, this page on the Obsidian Hub has links to markdown guides, and also covers some of Obsidian’s custom markdown syntax for things like wikilinks and callouts. You can also get plugins like editing toolbar which gives you a similar toolbar to a regular word processor, if you find learning and remembering markdown syntax too much.

for novel writing, although I don’t share all aspects of her workflow, PD Workman’s Writing a novel in Markdown is clearly written with screenshot examples, and is a good showcase of how you can set up a writing vault (she’s an actively published writer as well, so her stuff is all practical and actually used)

as always, i highly recommend joining the discord server and asking questions. It’s very active, and there are lots of smart and helpful people in there who know way more than I do XD

i’d link the forums but i do not get on well with them honestly. still, there are help threads and it’s searchable!

and im just gonna throw the hub page for TTRPG things here as well, since a lot of people doing stuff with TTRPG have interesting videos that, while they may not necessarily cover the basics, I always find at least a little bit inspirational in a way that helps me think about the kind of things I can make obsidian do for me

there are definitely a lot of other youtube resources out there (like Nick Milo’s beginner guide) but I haven’t read or used them all, so I can’t fully recommend them. One of the troubles with Obsidian is it updates such a lot, since it’s still pretty new, so videos can get out of date (like Nick’s playlist, I’m sure it’s great, but it’s 2 years old now and a LOT has changed in Obsidian since then. The basic-basics are still the same, but yeah. active app development, yo!)

also, would people like. want to see my vaults? if I shared them? I’d need to make like. cleaned up versions but if that would be helpful I could do it? I do have a Dragon Heist Vault that’s shareable (don’t tell wotc ssshh) if that sounds interesting to anyone.

#obsidian md #obsidian.md #writing apps #writing programs #as always i will stress that obsidian is v much a sandbox style program #and it is not a bad thing if that doesn't work for you!! #i am glad people are giving it a try though #it can be so rewarding if/when you click with it #i hope this is helpful anon

[will-o-wips]

It is 4 am. I'm staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, coincidentally having my phone right in my line of sight, and write this with the exasperation and intense focus that I probably won't ever have again. I'm about to attempt to make any sort of sense of the latest Hayao Miyazaki movie, The Boy and the Heron (or rather, How do you live? in Japanese), that I watched for the first time in theatres a day ago.

I cannot claim to be right, or to know everything about this movie. Actually acclaimed critics and people with obviously more braincells than me have probably better takes than I do. But I must speak, lest the insanity truly take over my brain, lest I really end up combusting because of how much I want to talk about this.

Prepare yourselves for the most incoherent train of thought and line of consciousness you will ever experience.

FILLED WITH SPOILERS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE.

Before I start with my actual thoughts, however, I'll state my personal feelings about the movie, because I feel that matters too, and this is my post anyway so! But I personally left the cinema feeling somewhat mellow. I was not insane about it yet. It was,,, "meh". The impression of the ride was great; I was giggling along with the funny and even sometimes not purposefully funny moments, I enjoyed the animation to the point I would genuinely flap my hands in excitement at how good it was, I understood the story in great lines by noticing small details and going "oh so does this mean x?". But I did not cry. Not a single tear during or after or before the movie. I did not waver with my opinion on it as I rambled about it to my friends online and irl, much to their annoyance. I did not hesitate when I put it in my silly little Studio Ghibli movie tierlist maker that I update whenever I watch another one of these films together with my friends, categorized (in)discreetly under "all vibes no plot but there's a witch/wizard". I still don't, in fact.

So, given all of this, you'd probably say that I disliked the movie. That I would not have so much to say about it, after doing my mandatory ramble and update. Wrong. I still have more to say, somehow.

Despite that, I didn't rewatch the movie itself. I read an entirety of one (1) review of it, together with one (1) random video essay of 8 or so minutes, covering the basics of it. I reblogged one (1) post about its protagonist on tumblr and otherwise kinda read through the rest of the posts on here. I did not re-experience or re-examine this movie again. I cannot (again) accurately reference anything besides that what I vaguely remember from watching it a day or two ago. It's not playing anywhere near me anymore/not out anywhere else yet, so really, I don't even know what possessed me to write about this, or even say anything. The most fascinating thing (to probably all of us here) is; what made me change my mind about it?

It might've been the review on IndieWire. David Ehrlich and his well-written review, bringing things into much needed context as to why this movie was created. It could've been the fact that I've actively processed the movie better, now a little bit of time has passed. [Honestly it deserves a second watch/view for something more concrete, but I'm repeating myself with this, you get it.]

But I don't even really understand it myself. I felt and still feel so detached from this movie in a sense. I appreciate the artistry that went into it, and I adore the way it simply tells the story and leaves it up to interpretation. It references every single film Hayao Miyazaki has ever made before, and elements of other Ghibli films can probably be found in there too, if you looked hard enough. The vibes were similar to those of Spirited Away, and Howl's Moving Castle, given how inexplicably fantastical the world was. It just existed and breathed, and we as the audience jumped straight into it. We never got more exposition than what was needed; honestly I have a feeling that the second half of the movie was the vaguest piece of media I have ever consumed in my life. But it also had this perfect balance of the more drama-focused Ghibli films. The Boy and the Heron, in my opinion, is like the golden middle between reality and fantasy, both in terms of its narrative as well as comparison between other Ghibli movies.

This might also be the reason why I felt confused. The lines between reality and fantasy were so effortlessly blurred, that you could only process a singular picture. And when things are vague to me, I constantly need to pick them apart and analyse them, simply to satisfy my own curiosity.

The moment before I stepped into the movie theatre, my friend who watched along with me told me they heard it was a film about grief. I nodded along and said "yeah, okay, that just means it's another one of many Hayao Miyazaki and Ghibli films. Most of them are about some kind of loss, and dealing with it, either way." I sat down together with them; row 9, chairs 17 and 18, with my two bottles of water (one carbonated, one stilled) and the bag of terribly sour packaged chocolate pretzels I bought at the theatre itself. Horribly overpriced for the quality, I must say. My friend held onto the popcorn, and we sat through the ads, talking and laughing, anticipating something that was supposed to blow us away.

I cannot speak for my friend, but I think they really liked the movie regardless. They didn't cry at it either, even though we both know of each other that we always cry at such things. Somehow this movie evoked a certain stillness in us both; a stalemate between emotions and confusion. Maybe delayed processing. Maybe something else entirely. We both, or at least I, hid it until later.

It was midnight, and right before we stepped on our train home, I was excitedly going on about the references and animation, the things I did appreciate. I bragged a bit about how I recognized Kenshi Yonezu's voice in the final credit song that we didn't get to listen to entirely, because it was so late and we had to rush to get home. They laughed at me and told me to take some time to actively formulate any coherent thoughts on it. I disagreed (lovingly and jokingly of course), and we left it at that.

In the train itself, the same high dimmed into a simmer, the excitement replaced with contemplation, and I kept talking.

I told them: "I believe that this truly is his last film. This felt like a goodbye." And in return, they replied: "It's crazy how this is the last time we'll ever get to live in such a moment. The release of the final Ghibli movie in theatres.

"I'm glad we got to go."

I was too.

I got home, rambled about the intrinsic way The Boy and the Heron referenced other Ghibli movies to my online friends who had yet to see it. Followed by a heated tangent about how When Marnie Was There truly could have had better direction in regards to the narrative, as well as how Only Yesterday was the most boring out of all Ghibli movies. It was a nice night. I didn't think about the movie again.

The following morning, I contacted other friends, who told me about how Robert Pattison voiced the Heron in the English dub, which I hadn't seen or heard at all. He did a great job, judging by the trailer. This led me to another opinion, namely the video essay (I will try to find it and put it in the notes later if you are curious), which claimed something similar to this (of course, paraphrased):

"This is a farewell. The one true movie to tie such an expansive career. It is another movie where you are allowed to explore the magical together with the main character, while sticking close to the processing of it all."

The review I read said it was a swan-song, that it was the question and title of the movie in Japanese, posed at us, after The Wind Rises left it open to interpretation at the end of its run. That this was a story about the legacy that Miyazaki is leaving behind, how reality and fantasy coexist together, possibly influencing each other (not explicitly said but what I interpreted that review saying, so no this is also not completely like this).

Other tumblr posts I've seen on here say it was a film most likely dedicated to his son, Goro Miyazaki. That it was a gentle "I'm sorry, the shadow I leave behind is huge. I know that you will try and fail to fill it. It's okay; you don't have to. You can leave it behind. It's alright if this legacy dies with me."

Some other sources I've seen compare the main protagonist to Miyazaki himself, trying to grapple with the ending.

Yet somehow, all of these interpretations seem to fail to explain the entirety of this movie. The bigger picture if you will. These themes and moments and interpretations are not wrong, but to me, they're not satisfying enough.

Because maybe I am the only one who actually was insane about this moment, but I will never forget the delivery room scene between Mahito and Natsuko. How Himi addresses the magic stone, pleading to let the two go, saying "Natsuko and the boy who is to be her son". (Again, paraphrased, I cannot remember the exact line.) Maybe I am the only one who witnessed the whimsical fire witch and the going back in time plots and the fact that a younger Kiriko and Himi were there, already part of an ecosystem. How we already know from the other grannies in the house that Mahito's mother disappeared once for a whole year into the tower, and then came back the same as before. How the pelicans were BROUGHT there, that they did not belong there, and yet were forgetting how to fly. How they ate the Warawara, these creatures that were rising above to be born in the upper world. How the Heron's weakness was his 7th tail feather (or something along those lines), and how the fish and the frogs chanted for Mahito to join them in the tower. That the great-great-uncle was hoping for Mahito to succeed him and build a new tower, yet the king of the parakeets butted in and haphazardly did the job, resulting in it immediately toppling over, as well as the stones getting cut.

I think about the final scene where the Heron says "It's best to forget. Do you have any keepsakes?" And Mahito shows not only older Kiriko's figure, but also a piece of the stone paths they walked upon in order to get to the centre, the beating heart, the magic stone and his great-great-uncle.

How this is taking place during a war, that the timeline goes from his mothers death that Mahito cannot get over, to the welcoming of his stepmother and his new younger sibling. Them moving back to Tokyo. The way the tower completely collapsed. Completely and utterly collapsed and perished; not even a trace of it left behind. The way that older Kiriko keeps yelling it is a trap to Mahito in the beginning, but that both he and the Heron know. That it is inevitable to tread this specific path. That he must see for himself, whether his mother is truly alive. The way she both was and wasn't; first a mirage of her older self disappearing into a puddle of water, and second a firey spirit of her younger self coming to help Mahito. The way that he reads and cries at the book she left him, the way he hits himself with a rock after his big fight with his classmates; the way Mahito in general drowns consistently in the beginning of the film. He drowns in the fire that he lost his mother in. He drowns in the mud and the dust when he tries to enter the tower at first. He drowns in his dreams, in his tears, drowns right into his quest to find Natsuko (straight through the floor, by behest of his great-great-uncle), drowns in pelicans trying to eat him, nearly drowns in the actual sea until younger Kiriko fishes him out.

Now these things may seem like me just randomly naming shit that happens in the movie. Hopefully in a slightly poetic way, possibly. I could go on and on about the imagery, truly. But my point is, this movie may have been Miyazaki's last movie, his way of closure, his way of speaking to his son about his legacy, his way of describing the grief of losing his mother (idk if this is autobiographical or not. It very well may have been), yet...

Even so, it doesn't really fit the entire picture. It feels incomplete. The analyses always focus on the true meaning behind this movie, what happens behind the scenes, this one key climactic moment between Mahito and his great-great-uncle. But that's as if you would ignore the rest of the movie in general. As if the fantastical aspects weren't there to abstractly tell a story besides just being a symbol of closure for the person that directed it.

Personally, this is a tale of rebirth. Of losing yourself, and then rediscovering yourself in a way. I associate it with my own personal loss of my grandfather; the family member I felt closest to out of everyone.

The way you look back at such a traumatic stage in your life, something that irrevocably changed you for good, something that you probably don't ever want to relive again, but also mustn't forget. The way you instinctively are afraid to learn about who the person you love and grieve was, before you were in their life.

To this day, I still cannot speak to my mother about whether my grandfather had a favourite song before me forcing him to sing along with my favourites. A favourite book before he read out bedtime stories to me tirelessly. Who the boy in him was, and what wisdom and life lessons he carried on, into his grave, into the hearts of his children.

This movie depicts so much more than just grief, it's so much more than just legacy, even. It directly reflects the way I know I would have felt had I dared to actually see things for myself. If I actually dared to go through my grandfather's old things; the books he wrote and dedicated to me, the books he read when he was young. This movie depicts not how to live, but how to live on.

And the only way to live on is to move forward. To look at the foundations upon which it was built, to evaluate whether you truly want to have this be your burden to carry for the rest of your life. Mahito's abstract grief in regards to his mother, and the solace he finds in the fact that he at least knew who she was; that he at least had her in his life as both his mother and the girl that his stepmother knew, that at the very least he knows his mother would do it all over again, if she could. That despite everything, she did not regret a thing, and that she was not afraid. That somewhere, in the past, she lives on, happily marching toward this fate, because she knows that Mahito will be there to meet her again in the future.

And Natsuko, god, she worries relentlessly about whether Mahito will accept her. She worries to the point she yells at him, telling him that she hates him and his existence, because he rejects her so coldly and yet still bothers to show up in front of her during her most vulnerable moments. That he only takes and takes and takes; he steals her cigarettes in order to learn how to sharpen a knife from one of the servants. He uses those techniques to create a bow and arrow, a weapon. He gets into fights at school, he gets gravely injured on the side of his head, leaving a lasting scar.

If I were in her shoes, I would be furious at him too. Especially if he walked straight into the delivery room, trying to drag me out of bed while I was doing my damn best to keep the other child in my belly alive.

That scene, that sheer rage, and the way it ALL FUCKING SUBSIDES the MOMENT Mahito accepts her and calls her mother. The moment Mahito understands that through the literal whirlwind of plasters, things used to tend to wounds, none of those pleasantries/guards will truly allow him to reach her. The way he tries to nurse his own wounds, as well as try to nurse hers, over the loss of their shared connection (Natsuko's older sister, Mahito's biological mother), will NEVER allow him to make a connection with her. By being careful, by being polite, he will never get to be her son.

And he realizes, in that moment, that he wants to.

The magic stone tries to stop this. The magic stone dislikes disruption; dislikes things changing, dislikes breaking traditions (the taboo of entering the delivery room). The parakeets in the tower flourish because they follow the magic stone's whims more or less. They agree to follow its rules, even if it means they are prone to its abuse, because it gives them an advantage, a place to stay. The pelicans have to eat the Warawara, because there is no other food available to them.

The way younger Kiriko says "you reek of death", and how they establish this place is mostly made up of death and dead people. Dead people, or dying people, creatures that are begging to survive another day. Creatures that are begging to be reborn. That want to change, that wish to fly once more.

My mother once gave me a poem dearest to her heart. We have always been a family filled with literature and stories, but my mother was always the best at both writing them and reciting them. She used to read them out to me, back when I was in a particularly bad spot mentally, to the point I could not get out of bed for weeks on end, to try and reach me. She read with the sincerest passion in her voice, a small plea to get me back to the girl I was before.

I cannot explain or remember the poem by heart, but once I was at my true rock bottom, she told me to look it up. A Serbian poem, written by Miroslav Antić (I will add the name of it later), that was about growing up and growing into your own person. It made me weep, for it had a phrase I think I can only translate to this:

"Run and don't look back."

Somehow, whenever I look at all of these birds and creatures in this fantasy world, trying to fly desperately, trying to get to the skies, trying to get to even live, and think about the fact that the only way they can is by leaving this place. That the only way they can fly and survive as themselves is by leaving this tower, this stone, this foundation. By leaving and being born, by leaving and being reborn.

And, after all of this. Somehow I'm not even done yet. I haven't talked about the great-great-uncle in depth, nor the king of the parakeets, nor the heron whatsoever. I have not yet even touched upon what I might think the magic stone is, and the sheer amount of like symbolism I picked apart in my brain because of my insanity.

I'm probably not the only one who noticed these things. But so far I haven't seen anyone actively share these things, so, I will do my best to continue and genuinely wrap it up as best as I can. So that this can also bring the same amount of closure as the movie does.

The magic stone is like a shooting star that came onto the earth. It realizes dreams and worlds of whoever dares to walk into it and claim to own it; like how Mahito's great-great-uncle got obsessed and built a tower around it, caging it, taming it. And yet he still had to play to its whims, consistently making sure his own tower of blocks did not fall, that all of his work did not amount to nothing. Personally, I do believe the great-great-uncle could represent Miyazaki himself. That Miyazaki is trying to express how he built Ghibli and that now it has been going on for so long, and it has become unmanageable to continue upholding it. That it is time to retire.

A thing I find interesting and remember pretty well is the conversation between the parakeet king and the great-great-uncle. How they talked about Mahito's transgression, breaking into the delivery room (side note: he broke in and broke through to Natsuko with his mother's spirit. Mahito became Natsuko's son with the blessing of his mother; with the sheer love she had for him being carried on and through), and how the great-great-uncle says something akin to this:

"It is why I wish for him [Mahito] to succeed me."

"I cannot overlook such a transgression."

I feel this is important. It is key to how the great-great-uncle views Mahito in this. Because Mahito was not sent out on this quest to find Natsuko out of pure selfishness. Sure, his uncle would have wanted him to succeed him, but the entire reason WHY he believed in Mahito to begin with, is the fact that this boy was able to break the foundation and the traditions in the first place. Mahito inherently disobeys from the chosen path. Mahito inherently does not believe the Heron when he says that all herons lie. Mahito doesn't waver when the heron flies straight at him, he doesn't sway when the frogs or the pelicans overwhelm him. Mahito stands firm in who he is, even if he is trying to deal with new circumstances. Mahito inherently goes to places he should not be in (his curiosity for the tower). Mahito has enough power on his own to create a new tower, but only by rebuilding it from scratch.

This ready acceptance that the great-great-uncle has towards Mahito's decision NOT to inherit his legacy, is what makes me believe this is what this movie is supposed to represent. Break away from the old, off into the new. Closure. Moving on.

This is also reflected in the sentiment that Mahito truly DOES move on. He goes back to his family, his father, school, he goes back with Natsuko as his mother and a new younger sibling to Tokyo. He returns there where he came from, but he is not the same anymore. He is reborn into a new Mahito.

And god I feel like I'm repeating myself to death here; I really should have thought about the structure of this, but give me some slack okay. It's like 6:30 am already and I'm still not done, despite continuously writing and labouring at this.

So, the tower that immediately falls apart by someone who always follows the whims of a dream (the parakeet king and the stone respectively). God it is just such a momentTM. Because in the end even this shows that the parakeets, too, even though they by far had it the best in that goddamn tower, had to leave. For they could not build something on their own without learning who they were outside of the already established. Outside of just following the rules and all.

They had to leave, my GODDDDD.

As I'm getting progressively more unhinged, we shall move onto the most unhinged character in this entire fucking movie. The Heron himself. God there's too much to unpack here, really, but the truth is, the Heron was supposed to be the guide to Mahito. The Heron was supposed to be Mahito's biggest, most aggressive enemy, the direct antagonist to Mahito's protagonist. The Heron doesn't want change. The Heron tries to bribe Mahito with the fact that his mother is still alive, that he need only enter the tower, and lose himself to illusions and dreams. That fantasizing about his mother being alive won't only drown him more, that it won't just let Mahito sink into the deepest pits of his despair and anguish about such a death, that losing yourself to the belief that something is there when it is not wouldn't only be counterproductive. The Heron masks himself consistently; he says that all herons lie. He says that he only has one weakness, his own feather, that allows the arrow to automatically target him. In essence, the Heron shot himself in the foot beak. He himself slipped up in his mirage world, and came out to be who he truly was, this weird little man with a huge nose and a conniving demeanour. He adamantly cannot disobey the dream, for then his true nature comes peaking out (a small detail I absolutely love is the fact that the Heron's feathers also disappear out of Mahito's hands when Mahito is called back to reality by the grannies. The grannies protect him in the dream world too, by being his tether and support system while he gets over himself and starts trusting Natsuko). The Heron doesn't WANT to be a guide, for in order to be a guide, you must tell the truth. You'd need to know some facts about the world around you and share this information with the ones seeking guidance. This is how I believe Mahito understood the Heron before we did.

It's not that all herons lie; it's just that this particular one does not want to face the truth/reality.

Another interesting detail: the whole reason why only Mahito was able to cover up the hole in the Heron's beak was reminiscent about how only those that called you out can really patch up your old image. Only those that have poked holes in your false narrative are able to fill them back up again, and even then it is not the same, and even then it will not always be comfortable/reliable.

Either way, the Heron, after this wings partially turn into hands, his true nature, is unable to fly all that well for a while. He relies on Mahito's corkscrew thing in order to relish in his comfort zone of lies again. But throughout the movie, the Heron slowly starts to ignore the corkscrew completely; simply opting to stay in his (frankly, freakish) half gremlin man half heron costume form. The Heron changes because Mahito inspired him to change. Even though his image used to be spotless before, and he tried to deceive Mahito, after a while, he stopped doing that. The mutual trust both Mahito and the Heron had grew. The Heron became a person, although his heron-ness would never go away.

The Heron thus warns Mahito that he should want to forget. That he will forget, either way. That this struggle of his to grapple with the reality of his situation, and the fantasy that he was delving into, will become a far-off memory that Mahito should not revisit. The Heron, I believe, is genuinely trying to look out for Mahito.

"Don't dwell in what you have already overcome. Don't revisit the things you have already outgrown."

And this is where the movie more or less ends. Mahito still keeps that stone, and his mother's book, and he goes back to Tokyo; the only crucial difference is that he has overcome his own grief.

Now, I've said this like a billion times now, but this is the rebirth. This is what I think this movie stands for. What it means, at its core. This is what it means to live; to move on and to cut ties with that what has no place in your life anymore. Miyazaki, I think, is trying to give us closure, a final farewell to Ghibli altogether.

Now I don't know about any speculation that he might come back again, and personally, I don't think it really matters. If he does come back, good for him. I just don't know enough to say anything for sure, so I'll just say I cannot say.

Either way, I think, even though Miyazaki conveyed the need for a new start/a rebirth, he didn't really end on the complete abolishment of all that used to be. You are allowed to keep mementos of it; even though the Heron advises not to. Mahito is allowed to reflect upon this experience, to see it as another stone in his foundation/formation, to say that, yes, the spirit of this change will always stay with me, although it has passed.

Just like how Mahito's mom was someone who returned to the past without regrets. She never came back. She was a spirit that pushed Mahito forward, and he will always remember her, but it's better that she stay a memory than become a fantasy.

This is why I'm so impressed by this movie in general. I'm so thankful that I was able to witness this with a friend of mine. I'm glad that I was able to see this, even though my insanity knows no bounds, and the fact that I didn't even think about any of this until I really sat down to look through the options of interpretations.

I'm so glad I got to go. Now it's time to run towards the future, and never look back.

#the boy and the heron #genuinely what was I on actually #I can't believe I am writing this/have written this #Disclaimer: I am really just saying shit please do not take this as the end all be all or whatever; I just need to say it just in case. #oh btw this is DEFINITELY not meant to critique or dismiss any of the people that have other opinions than I do #I just needed to put my own interpretation out there #together with my few flourishes of storytelling here and there even though I'm not even sure if it makes any sense whatsoever #the boy and the heron spoilers #spoilers #I think like. there is so much more to be said about this. there is so much more that can be touched upon #without the repetitive stuff of unstructured “just wing it” (ha ha get it. because there's so many birds and flying metaphors in this.) #essays and shit like this #like I haven't even touched upon Mahito's father and the entire airplane thing that could just be a reference but also- #it could be a metaphor in how his father is trying to overcompensate and how he just wants Mahito to fly again so he creates and works so- #hard that he eventually just ends up being absent in Mahito's life. #which is sickening. (positive/bittersweet) #anyway I am still just saying shit. enjoy the??? idk essay upon essay upon essay of late night insanity.

[kirchefuchs]

so @an-t-hiho (previously known as @/ann-aha) and I have been screaming at each other in our dms discussing a few things abt lmk

and we have both agreed that there should be an AU where Wukong doesn't completely Screw Things Up between he and Macaque and they both end up tormenting being mentors to MK

(forgive me for not knowing/maybe not remembering a ton of things abt Wukong's past bUT I heard from somewhere that in JTTW the Tang guy from the past completely tortures him with that crown thing?? hoping to use that as some sort of motivation but uhhhh hEY I do not know a lot abt JTTW so um. ahem. unless if you have some spare knowledge to give us, we're just gonna make stuff up as Ant and I hyperfixate about this soon-to-be AU we're planning on making)

bUT. but. but. we have plans™. and it's not just me this time who's thinking of these ideas (but it'll definitely just be me raising your inbox cuz Ant's still too nervous to do that) cuz now he and I are in the same fandoms for once in. like. uh. (checks calendar) ...a few months–

SO. I might send an ask again regarding our ACTUAL ideas (aaaand maybe Ant will reblog and/or add smthn a few hours after?? not too sure but knowing him he just might) AND you're gonna deal with it again /lh /silly

(I also might post about it. maybe. probably won't but just. mmmmmmaybe I dunno actually shdhdh OKAY BYEE)

(this also may or may not have been inspired by that one piece of fanart with P!Wukong saying smthn along the lines of "Do you really think you mean so little to me that I'd just kill you just like that?" and P!Macaque saying smthn in return like "You didn't exactly make it difficult for me to think that way," but, yk, I'll probably find it again–)

— 🅰️non CH🅰️Y || Oct. 20 2023

This ended up so much longer than I anticipated ( ﾟAﾟ )

Okay okay okay I need to explain a lil thing real quick. Tang Sanzang (Tripitaka) did not torture Wukong, at least not intentionally. There was a really good post about it somewhere on here, but I cant seem to find it so I'll explain what I can.

First off, Tripitaka was the main character of the story, and while he had some flaws (ex: listening to Bajie too much), he was a good man, and would never want to torture any of his deciples, no matter how annoying they'd get. He's a Buddhist monk afterall, there's a whole no violence thing.

The golden circlet/crown was given to Tripitaka by Guanyin to act as a way to punish Wukong for things he does wrong. Think about it for a moment. Remember, Wukong was just released from under a mountain after terrorizing the entire celestial realm, becoming 7 times immortal (I think it was that many), fighting all the celestial armies, peeing on Buddah's hand. After being released, Wukong promptly killed a tiger and skinned it so he could use the skin as clothes.

SO YEAH, obviously Tripitaka would take her up on a crown that would give the monkey really bad headaches!!! (Reciting a specific scripture I forgot makes the crown shrink, but it doesn't kill Wukong because he's very super immortal).

Now the thing is, yes, he did use the spell on Wukong multiple times when Wukong had done nothing wrong, but a lot of those were because Bajie told him Wukong did something wrong, or he just didn't have all the facts. Now, I haven't read the Journey to the West either, and most of my knowledge comes from the Overly Sarcastic Productions videos summarizing the story (which you should watch, btw), so I dont have all the facts, nor do I have a perfect knowledge of the parts of the story I do know, however I am confident that Tripitaka did not intentionally tourture or abuse Wukong. I mean, Wukong cut off his own head once for fun, so idk what else to say, my guy.

Do I think that using the migrane spell is the most moral thing to do? No. Was the spell the only way to get Wukong to cooperate? At the very start, very possibly yes. Later? I'mnot sure. Is Tripitaka a bad guy for using it as much as he does? No, he didn't know better. Are the Wukong girlies wayyy to obsessed with angst? Yes, so very much. I fear for them.

It was not the point of the story for Tripitaka to be abusive. The story was meant to be symbolic. Each of the pilgrims symbolized a part of a person. Tripitaka was the heart, Wukong the mind, Zhu Bajie the body, Bai Longma the will, and Sha Wujing the emotions. (There are some lovely people on this hellsite who can explain the symbolism better than me, so you can go look into that if it interests you.)

All in all, every one of the pilgrims were pretty stupid (affectionate) in their own ways, and I hate seeing people hate on Tripitaka soecifically when the story is so ridiculous a lot of the time. I just love these silly little guys, and I think we need to remember that they are very silly. Tripitaka never meant to be cruel to Wukong just as in lmk Wukong and Macaque never meant to be cruel to each other in their past. All these idiots are pretty bad at communicating, and Tripitaka is incredibly socially awkward. Man doesn't know how friends work.

I just think we should cut him some slack for the mistakes he made. Yall forgave Wukong for all his chaos and bloodshed, so I think it'd just be fair to forgive Tripitaka for not really comprehending having hurt Wukong.

Anyways, I'll shut up now. I'm excited to hear the ramblings of you two nerds ♡♡♡♡

#jttw #lmk #lego monkie kid #journey to the west #tang sanzang #tripitaka #lmk tripitaka #monkey king #sun wukong #kirche rambles #ask #🅰️non

[marvus-xoloto]

Can perhaps write mallek and/or lanque with a sick troll s/o who is just completely fucking miserable when sick??

So sorry I'm late anon; I wanted to finish up my last WIP before getting into another. I hope you're feeling better!! I wrote a silly little Mallek drabble FOR YOU! I am also residenting absolute evil when I'm sick, so I totally get it <3 This was a super fun lil fic to write, thanks for the prompt!! EDIT: Sorry, I missed the troll part of this ask! I really don't write that for future reference, unless it's either a headcanons only post (i.e. not fic) or canon chara x canon chara.

Osmosis Jones Was Blue, Too | G | 1426 words | AO3 link

___

It's a well known fact that an object in motion stays in motion. What they don't tell you is: an object at rest is rarely allowed to stay resting.

You, however, have found your ace in the hole, your golden ticket: the word sick? Hell, even just the implication: it always brings the conversation to a grinding halt.

POLYPA: hey * me and tegs are * having movie night * POLYPA: subs * not dubs * YOU: Sorry Polypa, but I don't think that's a very good idea... POLYPA: i think it's * a great idea * POLYPA: do you know * how hard * it is to get * teg to agree * to * subs * YOU: I think I'm getting sick :(

Bam. Nipped that right in the bud.

VIKARE: ~ Heigh-ho old chum! ~ VIKARE: ~ How fares the winds your way? ~ YOU: Not great. I feel like teeth are growing in my throat and my nose is runny and dry. VIKARE: ~ Ah, yes, the dentification of the swallow collumn. We've all been there sport chin up.~ VIKARE: ~ And my word guy have I got some advice for you! ~ MSPAR: I think it's just, you know... VIKARE ~ Hey now chum why the sudden reticence? ~ YOU: The "s" word... you know... VIKARE: ~ What on Globgolyb's shifting seas man you put that word away. ~ YOU: I'm S VIKARE: ~Cease this at once. ~ YOU: i VIKARE: ~ Skies above! You don't have to do this!~ YOU: ck :( VIKARE: ~You WHAT!~ - VIKARE'S HUSKTOP HAS EXPLODED -

Second time proves the hypothesis.

Zebruh: ♦️ Good evening, my lovely, hornless friend. ♦️ Zebruh: I saw the video of you and the Grandmaster on chitter earlier this evening. Zebruh: Might I say you managed to look raidant. ♣️ Well, as radiant as one can next to the splendor that is Marvus Xoloto? ♣️ YOU: Gee, thanks for the neg. It's not just my legs that are running... Zebruh: Ahem. ♠️ Pardon? ♠️ MSPAR: Would you like a sinus infection, free of charge? Zebruh: Depends, ♦️ which sinus? ♦️ YOU: I'm sick, dunkass

Even though he seems to be feeling particularly conciliatory this evening, Zebruh hasn't responded to you in the twenty minutes that have passed since you dropped the dreaded S word.

But, ah here's the tricky part.

MALLEK: yo; MALLEK: sup; MALLEK: hey; MALLEK: i know you = there; MALLEK: i can see you through my viewfinder; you really need to update your passwords; MALLEK: wait; MALLEK: forget i said that; MALLEK: you = uh; typing a lot; MALLEK: i have a keylogger on your palmhusk; MALLEK: that = less creepy and invasive; MALLEK: right? YOU: No, not really. MALLEK: damn it; MALLEK: well i can see you through my viewfinder; MALLEK: and you look different; YOU: Yeah? Like what you see? MALLEK: did you secretly start the cyborgization process? YOU: Yes. That is definitely what's happening. MALLEK: without me :( MALLEK: actually can you ignore the frowny face; YOU: What frowny face? MALLEK: heh; MALLEK: so seriously; what = with the new look;

Ah. How do you drop the news without halting this conversation in its tracks?

YOU: Okay. YOU: Promise you won't freak out. MALLEK: "freaking out" =! in my vocabulary babe; YOU: I have noticed that trolls really do not like this word. MALLEK: uh-oh; MALLEK: = the word "intimacy" or "self-reflection?" YOU: Self-reflection is two words, Mallek. MALLEK: so; who = it exactly that you = getting intimate with; YOU: Besides you? This box of tissues is really getting a run for its money. MALLEK: heh; nice; MALLEK: i usually use a sock; YOU: OKAY?? That is not what I meant. GOD!

If you weren't flushed already from being sick, you are now.

MALLEK: okay; i = lost now; YOU: I just want to remind you that "freaking out" is not in your vocabulary. MALLEK: that = also two words; YOU: Yes. Glad we're on the same page. YOU: I am. YOU: Not. YOU: Unsick? MALLEK: what; YOU: I'm sick, okay?? And I'm miserable and nobody seems to care. MALLEK: i wish you would have told me; MALLEK: i could have spent more time with you; MALLEK: :( MALLEK: don't ignore that emoji; YOU: Sad face. Noted. MALLEK: should i get a hold of that rustie; MALLEK: you know; the one with the shovel? YOU: Unless he's the sole provider of benadryl and chicken soup on this planet, I think we can leave Fozzer out of this one.

And like that, the theory is concluded. Mallek does not text you back. You make a few silly faces into the view finder, but even that doesn't entice him to talk to you.

Frowny face. Not noted. Sigh.

___

You only realize you've been dozing when a knock at your door wakes you up. The fatigue is like a physical thing, a weighted blanket sewn into your body.

The knocking is mostly a formality; each strike against the wood pulp sends the door rattling forward a few centimeters. This unexpected guest must be a friend.

But, as you open the door, a scream builds up in you so intense that you just. Scream. There's nothing poetic about it. It's been a long time since you've seen ET, but you do know "aliens" and "the dominant population, now in a hazmat suit" is never a meet cute.

"Who is in here!" you shout on instinct. You grab a paper cup of water and throw it at the intruder. It splashes harmlessly against their hazmat suit.

"Whoa! Hey!" calls a muffled but distinctly masculine voice from within. It gives you pause for all of about five seconds; why do they sound so familiar? Until the six foot long forceps come out.

"Get the hell," you pause to wipe your runny nose on your sleeve, and then cough for good measure, "away from me!"

It doesn't work; the forceps are headed your way. They grab you expertly by your midsection, you you simply flail around until you flop on the ground. Like a rabid fish out of water. The intruder gets in your space. You stick your middle finger up at them.

Then you kick them square in the belly.

They makes a noise like "oooaauuugh," and then "damn, you kick hard. It's me!"

Mallek unzips the front of his ventilation hood; beneath he is wearing an n-95 mask with the zig-zag of scorist. How did he get that on such short notice?

"What are you doing here?" you ask as he zips his hood back up. If you weren't out of breath from your stuffed up nose, you certainly are now after the fucking alien escape olympics.

"If I tell you, promise not to kick me again?"

"No," you say through a wry smile.

"Well then, maybe this will explain it." He sets down a lock box of some sort, roughly the size of a six pack. He fiddles with the top for a moment before it lets out a beep, and then the lid opens with an outpouring of steam. He takes the forceps again, uses them to remove the contents, and then sends them your way.

A perfect, plastic bowl of chicken soup, a two pack of pink and green sludge that you suspect is Alternian day and nyquil respectively, and a cellophane package of spoon, salt, and pepper is thrust your way.

"I'm the sole provider of chicken soup and benadryl on this planet," Mallek says, full of lumpy pride in his ill fitting hazmat suit.

Oh, he wasn't freaking out because you're sick. He's freaking out because he isn't 100% your sole provider, and also anxiously desperate to prove how much you need him.

"Nerd," you say, throwing the cellophane wrapper at him. It sails about two inches through the air before floating pathetically to the fround.

Well, shit. You're floating pathetically down, too.

You eat your chicken soup on the group, Mallek hovering over you from six feet away. Every cough and sniffle sends him lurching for the door; you make sure to do it as often as you can.

About halfway through your soup, Mallek asks, "are you going to die?"

The only part of his face you can see are his eyes, as large and shiny as porcelain plates.

Only Mallek can out-drama you regarding your own illness.

"Yes," you say. His face crumples even as you smile.

"Is the soup helping? I made it myself."

"Hm," you slurp your way through a thought. Surely, for all the mess and nastiness in his kitchen, he must have invented some super strain of anti-sickess, alien mold by now, right?

Mallek keeps staring at you with his big ol' eyes.

You smile. "Feeling better already."

#hiveswap #mallek #mallek adalov #mallek x reader #mallek adalov x reader #can you tell i jsut really wanted to write dialogue today?? lol #i did not edit this or reread it or anything so if theres typos lmk

[croakings]

breaking my loz silence to be a hater but also, here's how totk can still win

i will preface this with the thesis but also bear with me, ok, so: let it be known that in most circumstances, like most people probably, i hate when stories go "And It Was All A Dream!!!"

however. under some certain conditions. it is So Tasty. and i think totk is like. i'm sorry i think this is the only thing that can redeem the story of that game even somewhat. to me. this is all obviously just going to be my own personal opinion if you liked totk you are valid etc and so on and so forth but this is probably not the post for you

a minor point i want to start off with is that we were promised majora's mask vibes and they did not (imo)(this will be the last qualifier/clarification as far as that goes just stick "imo" everywhere in your brain for me please. thanks) deliver on that so much...... UNLESS MY UPCOMING TINFOIL HAT/COPING "THEORY" APPLIES! (there is absolutely no evidence or support for any of this whatsoever.)

i know people have come up with theories and Themes Analyses as to why the totk ending is good and makes sense and i did like a lot of those, and those people are very smart, however what they do not take into account is that i do not like it. if there's one thing i hate more than It Was Never Real In The First Place, it's And Actually None Of That Mattered That Much At All!..........

unless! It Was Never Real In The First Place!!!!!!!!! (<- IWNRITFP)

SO many of my personal gripes with totk are solved by making "the primary impact of these events is just like. emotional there aren't a lot of other consequences if any" follow the caveat of Because IWNRITFP!!!

"but bug" you might say, "what the fuck are you talking about". that's fair despite all those paragraphs i've said very little. i understand.

i am team "pissed off about the arm". team "ZONAI??????? AAAAAAAGGHHHH". team "AND WHY DOES IT ALL DISAPPEAR IN THE END ANYWAY COME O—". team hater. if you will. zelda doesn't even get to have any dragon features stick around like come. ON. ok anyway

also. we have the Monarchy Good Let's Keep Doing That Actually. despite. gestures at all of botw and the info we get of link and zelda post-botw pre-totk. where they're like. really not so much doing the monarchy. is the thing. and that seems really great for them in fact. and this seems really kind of silly outside of it really being needed to continue The Cycle. of loz games. and in loz games. which is that there is a princess and link punches things. and monarchies are a little necessary for point one. there.

but also some of you know me. you know what my favorite activity is. it's Making Up Lore To Explain Mechanics/Whatever i know this is not mechanics it's like. Video Game more broadly. franchise continuity. and that too. put that after the slash idk how to phrase that. so here's the thing.

they go down to the castle murder basement. right. gloom is there. it's spooky. things Go Wrong. tale as old as time.

this is a reach but cope with me. bear with me. what if. the murder basement. is the last real thing that actually happens. (until the ganon fight)(i think)(disclaimer: i have played only like 35 hrs of totk and the greater portion of that was mapping out the depths. so please understand i hate this game and this essay is based on information i gathered trying not to be doomed to hate this game/attempting to gain motivation to like. actually play it.)(if you notice i barely succeeded. if at all. rip)(one of the first things i did was collect the dragon tear memories and that INSTANTLY made me tap out. iykyk y'know.)

I KNOW. BUT. HEAR ME OUT.

here's the story of totk: link and zelda go down to the catacombs. neither of them come out. like. link does. sort of. i guess. if you ask some people. but like. nothing he does seems to matter or affect people. or. most things. with a few direct Plot Related exceptions. no one recognizes him the famous Savior Of Hyrule (the sword one)(not the princess the other one) who has spent literal multiple years scurrying around speaking to without hyperbole every single person in the country probably multiple times in insane circumstances pretty much every time. everyone is just Have You Heard The Legend Of Press Down B To Slash Fancy AND I SOLVE THIS TOO. with Game Theory.

WHAT IF. what if. ganon's last hurrah. ganon who like. constantly loses. and is repeatedly killed by teenagers at best and children not infrequently. is to see these guys who pretty well won. because they lost. who have a pretty good chance of doing things differently. where he can't. and/or won't. who can set hyrule in a different direction, if they're allowed to continue on. does not let them continue on. "lol they're traumatized young adults," he might say, "i am The Scourge Of Millennia and HERE. is how i can still win." (<- loses)(inevitably)(of course)(BUT HE CAN TAKE THEM DOWN WITH HIM.)

what. if IWNRITFP. maybe we can say the zonai in some capacity WERE real idk. this is irrelevant to my essay but i do like the thought they're just Early Hyrule and we know nothing more about them that's true than we did in botw. i think it would be incredibly good soup if ganon just made EVERYTHING about zonai and the Ancient Times that we see and learn of in totk. just. completely up. this also solved how ganondorf (and also rauru and sonia like character-wise) kind of sucks in this game tbh: because he's The Villain. he's MADE himself THE villain. what are his motivations? you may ask. what the hell is he trying to do? what on earth is even going on with zelda and co in the past? irrelevant. you see if he is as cartoonishly evil as possible and makes zelda and co (The Good Guys)(So Good Guys Wouldn't It Suck If Something Like Killed Them Mercilessly Or Whatever) completely miserable and sets up the perfect, most unassailable dichotomy in her mind of Me Evil, Monarchy (You) Good then zelda and link who are already traumatized can just be pushed more firmly into The Cycle if he just. makes them live out a nightmarish reality he constructs of "nothing that they are or have been matters and they have to cast it all aside to be The Princess and The Hero" and keep that going forever. because without them(The Princess and The Hero) there is only Him (The Villain). they HAVE to be in the cycle to keep him from winning the cycle by default. don't they. right. sure they do don't look at the man behind the curtain what man. who said that.

also the sages!!!! Bloodlines!!! Of Course It's About Bloodlines!!!!!! it's the cycle!!

and see the thing is link and zelda come out of the catacombs with Dragon Ganon Defeated and that can be real. that's the story. link and zelda come out of the catacombs. they have experienced once again a bunch of things that no one else had anything to do with or could be reasonably aware of and there is nothing they can do about it, and they can try to talk about it but everyone else really truly it cannot be emphasized enough was just doing other things.

also!!!! this makes the depths like. less. [picture so-so gesture here.]

i mean. they're still like. more should have been done with the depths. more (or less) should have been done with all of totk but i'm exhibiting favoritism here. the depths make sense if IWNRITFP. the yiga are down in an empty inverted-ish Ghost Monster Hyrule doing loony toons. they are also. cartoonishly. evil(?). do the yiga have a point? in totk? like. really? do they. (other than Mechanics.) well. do they NEED one? link loots stuff and knowledge from them. as in: you have to know things in dreams. somehow. sometimes. what i'm trying to get at here is aren't the depths and the yiga so much more funny if ganon is literally just making them up. like "here is Evil hyrule (look at the ghosts of all those you've failed) with my Evil minions (evil)(like me)(cartoonishly evil and bumbling)(this is a dry joke sarcasm HUMOR. if you will.)(what if ganon is like "oh yeah the yiga my doomsday death cult in botw what was going on with— did link throw that guy down a hole. that's hilarious. i'm going to make a whole thing about that.) and my Evil loot here have relics of past heroes. this doesn't mean anything btw don't worry about it just put them on. yes Put The Tunic On no don't think about it i'm not even here. what. who said that"

like. OH of COURSE no one recognizes you or says much of anything that doesn't somehow give you instructions or tasks to do if IWNRITFP. like. ganon doesn't care. link doesn't care!!! that's something people do. when he is running around trying to save the world. that makes sense..... DREAM SENSE.

do you all see my vision. is this anything. had i played more than 5% of the game or read more stuff i could probably expand on this or be at all coherent but DO YOU GET IT. am i communicating. please take this and run with it THIS is how we can still get majora's mask and. COSMIC DOOM AND HORROR also again justice for ganondorf (and zelda)(and link) on this one WHAT IF. he was evil. what if he was FUNNY. what if totk were good.

ganon with the last vestiges of his Evil Power from his corpse under the castle sealed for There Can Still Be A Good Story There: if two guys were on the moon and one guy killed another guy with a rock would that be fucked up or what. also wouldn't it be cool if i were a dragon. i’d like to be a dragon. i can make that happen and sort of kind of make sense. as a treat. while also doing that to the princess while tormenting her with (More) Visions.

welcome to his twisted mind...... mine.......... minecraft server. hey gamers have you ever THE CYCLE THE CYCLE GET BACK IN THE CYCLE

life could be a dream. IT COULD BE A DREAM

#* #chatter #loz #i thought of posting this to one of the quarantine blogs for brainrot but instead i will torment u all on main #i've never used one of these tags before but #totk salt #no one come pitchfork at me i tried so hard to be pitchfork repellent #also i wrote this while doing 3 other things as usual and i refuse to proofread. um. sorry. #my solution to everything is ''so and so could have a sense of humor. this fixes everything''

[italianldcurtain]

THE REVEAL!!!!!!!!! IT IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the man behind the slaughter, the man behind the shenanigans.....

It'sa me!!!!

In truth, this was originally supposed to be one (1) joke, a parody of a parody (Italian Elon Musk) to clown on @ldcurtain in the spirit of clowning on Curtain (I do not run that or any of the related blogs--I do run @ccontraire and @drgarrison + her clones, ccontraire was to "take credit" for this and drgarrison was just for the silly snapcube clone joke, as well as @mrbenedict which I haven't really done anything with) and it quickly spiralled into many other Italian accounts because I don't know when to quit the bit. I will beat that dead Italian horse forever.

The accounts include: @italianjeffers-headofsecurity (the one that started the slippery slope: essentially sophie was like "is there an italian jeepers?" and i was like [five minutes of vigorous offscreen construction noises] [returns panting and covered in dust and paint] "yes of course there is what do you take me for") @italiansq @italianjacksonandjillson @italianmartinacrowe (both made after being asked about the executives and being so tired of frantically constructing italians--i'd hoped someone would search to see if the executives existed and see the hint of "i'm just one little guy") @italiannicholasbenedict (mostly for the comedy of him not speaking in the silly terrible bad accent like everyone else) @italian-nerissaeurusbenedict (literally because what else could i say to "i don't care who's doing this as long as they make more!" but also italianize her?) and several others meant as one-off jokes (@italiandrgarrison @italianseymourtheorphanagecat @italianthe-italian-benedictmafia @italian-mvshortcut @italian-bi-demon-ium) and @themysteriousitaliansociety just to make a list.

Admittedly, this all spiralled so wildly out of control that while I did create all of these accounts, icons and all, myself (imagine several browsers and windows both incognito and normal open, several election fraud accounts being utilized--no new accounts, hence why no follows from italians--that were from me, anyway) I did have a few conspirators, by which I mean people I told before I realized my identity was going to be a wild secret. I was a few Italians in, but there wasn't a fandom-wide game of Italian Werewolf happening. None of these conspirators had all the pieces (and I didn't either! I have my suspicions about who "the mafia" is, but they weren't me--and the RP blogs for curtain, sq, the sister, etc., weren't me either) although Milk did create a lovely video for me. I'm afraid Nobody and Sophie were not involved, at least in the Italian empire I accidentally created. My apologies for shamelessly accusing Sophie (among others) so much, and for the accidental attention this put on our dear Odysseus. (I think having a "two villains talking ominously over chess but the conversation is the real strategy game" conversation with someone but I had to do a bad Mario impression the whole time was the highlight of my day.)

Also, I hope everyone following all of these accounts knows I don't have the energy to keep this joke forever. They are probably going to go inactive unless I randomly get a funny little idea. Sorry about that. In my defense, this was originally supposed to be one (1) silly.

Some other notes:

I am literally in class right now. At this second. My god, was this badly timed.

I am not a FNAF fan, actually, I just think "the man behind the slaughter" is a very funny phrase. But I do know a bit about it if that helps, due to an intense phase someone I know went through + watching videos about it when bored. I don't know why I'm clarifying this.

I am a Doctor Who fan though. Lol.

All of this to say: largely, I acted alone. I created... so many sideblogs and icons. You were almost right! However, some people may or may not have known about my shenanigans, my tomfuckery, my chicanery, if you will. And Milk was certainly chief among them. Sometimes the answer is, in fact, the obvious one--the glass onion if you will--because I'm a mischievous little guy and I commit to a bit. (A non fandom friend, upon being informed of this, said something along the lines of "You silly little catboy. You are a force of chaos" which is the most powerful thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you so much.)

I hope everyone had fun with this unintentional game of fandom-wide Italian Werewolf. Thank you all, and good night! [DISAPPEARS IN CLOUD OF PASTA SCENTED GLITTER AND SMOKE]

#THE ITALIAN REVEAL

[proxylynn]

See Thru (Need a Friend?): A call to Love.

[TW: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, SLIGHT DEGRADATION]

(Just a silly FriendxLynn fic and my submission for the STNAF @stnaf-vn fanfic contest)

______________________________________________

Days off are the best.

No work or school.

Just all the time to myself and I can use it however the heck I want.

Sleep till 2 pm?

Yeah!

Eat a lunch of a ton of pizza bites?

Hell yeah!

Numb my frazzled mind in endless YouTube videos in bed while gaming?

Why not?!

I've been needing to get the rest of some achievements for a few of my games. Some I could care less about. But when I have 90% done in a game, I can't help being compelled to finish...even if it does take forever sometimes.

The curse of gaming. The endless grind.

This would be more enjoyable if Friend was here.

While he is self-employed and damn good at his job of making stuffed animals/plushies, he is but one man. There's only so much one dude can do when big custom orders come in.

At least we've been keeping in touch. We made this habit a long time ago that we’d call each other to make sure the other was okay if we hadn't heard from one another in a set number of hours. For Friend, he tends to call at some point every day right when I need a positive boost or have forgotten to eat, or need to be told to go to bed. How he knows when I need the reminders I have no clue. The dude just jokes that he just “has a feeling because he knows me so well”.

Depression is a hell of bitch, not that Keagan was any help making that better when he was in my life. Punk ass fuck bastard! What the hell did I ever see in that asshat?! If I ever see him again I will so...!

No...That's the past...He's not here...Good vibes only...Just chill...Call Friend.

Depending on things, I usually call Friend every other day unless he hasn't called like he normally does. It takes a lot for him not to call, like being sick or overloaded by work. So I hope I won't be bothering him by doing this.

I save before shutting the game down and pause the playlist for later, totally gonna keep watching those ripped Unus Annus videos while they are still up till forced removed. God, it's hard to believe it's gonna be two years since then already. Where did the time go?

I leave my living room to venture forth to the bedroom, leaping onto the bed and grabbing my phone from the disheveled mess that is where I sleep. The damn thing slipped between the mattress and frame again. This is what happens when I use it as a backup alarm to wake up to.

With my device rescued from the clutches of its sleepy jail, I get cozy while flipping to my contacts and tapping on the one called #1DorkSupreme. As I wait, listening to the tone of buttons dialing his number, I stare at the shelf on the other end of my room loaded with plushies made by Friend. He makes such cute and cuddly things. He even was able to fix up my old tiger Cuddles that my grandma gave me. Poor thing lost his voice box and some fur with age, yet now he's good as new. Though...something about it feels off now. Can't explain why. All the plushies give off a weird vibe if I'm honest.

The sound of a ring is new to my ears. He usually picks up instantly. Two rings are strangely concerning in a weird way. But thankfully it picks up at the third ring. Things sound a little odd like stuff is being jostled and he trying to catch his breath.

“H-Hey there...Sweetheart. *cough cough* To what do I owe the pleasure of your call~?”

Why do I have the feeling I just interrupted something?

“Hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal.”

He laughs, that adorable laugh of his is a good sign. Good thing I didn't open with “I'm calling about your car's extended warranty”.

“You doing okay, Friend? I'm not calling at a bad time, am I?”

“No! *cough* N-No. You're fine. Everything's fine.”

“You sure? Seems like ya got yourself a cough there.”

He clears his throat a little.

“Just a bit of dry throat. Nothing a little drink won't fix.”

“Dude. You gotta stay hydrated. I don't want my best bud getting sick.”

He coos a little bit.

“I love it when you're concerned about me. Such a sweetheart.”

“Of course, I'm concerned about you! Who else is gonna make sure you're okay? Who else will I give hugs to? Who else will...”

A low groan on his end shuts me up quick.

Now there's an awkward silence.

Maybe...Maybe that was from something else. Maybe he popped his back just right and it felt good. Surely my messed up mind is jumping the gun thinking he's doing that while on a call with me. Surely.

“L-Lynn? You still there?”

I shake my head clear of such thoughts and resume normalcy.

“Yeah, I'm here. I think there was some interference or something.”

He sighs and gives a small laugh.

“If you want, I can get you a better phone.”

“Nah. I can't impose on you like that.”

“It's not imposing if it's a gift.”

“It's not a gift if you're telling me about it.”

“It is if it's a surprise and you never know when I'll give it to you.”

“Heh...That's what she said.”

I can't help my bad sense of humor sometimes. I blame Friend, he's just as bad as I am and we joke off each other whenever we can. Case in point, he snorts a laugh at that.

“Ah...Beautiful. Have I ever told you how much I love it when you do that?”

“My good sir, you inform me of something you love about me almost every day.”

“And you love it~.”

I can't help the small smirk and blush that gives me.

“Know what I really love? You.”

That gets him to squeeze his phone hard. I know this by the cracking noise such a grip makes.

“...What did you say?”

I sit up and give a little stretch.

“You heard me.”

“Y-You...You l-love me?”

“Love might be too strong. But I do really like you.”

I feel I might have overstepped a line. We've always maintained this teetering balancing act keeping our friendship as just that. Yet there's been times when the line blurs. The intimate touches here and there, the spooning during sleepovers, the lap cuddles...the wet dreams. I've been scared to consider seeing him as anything more than my childhood buddy. But it's gotten hard to keep it that way for me.

“Please...”

He sounds desperate.

“Please tell me you mean it and you're not just teasing me. I...I need you to be honest.”

Okay...I guess there's no going back now.

“Friend...You know me better than anyone on the planet. Would I ever joke like that?”

He shudders.

“Then...There's something I need to tell you...”

He sucks in a deep breath as if to calm himself down.

“I...I really like you too. No...No, I love you. I've loved you for a really long time.”

I'm so grateful this is on the phone because I don't think I could face him with how red my cheeks are.

“So...We...Are we really doing this? Being more than friends, I mean.”

“I mean...As long as you're not uncomfy or anything. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable.”

I pull my legs up to my chest and hold myself, grounding what little never I have.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay with it.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. I think...I think I'm just coming to terms with feelings I've always had and was just afraid to embrace. You're a constant in my life. I can rely on you. So I guess, in my mind, the idea of changing that was a little frightening. But...”

“But?”

I sigh.

“But I can't deny the things I've felt.”

He whimpers a little.

“Can I ask...What kind of things?”

My face is burning.

“Bruh! We just came out about liking each other. You can't seriously be asking me to say such things!”

He chuckles deviously.

“Oh? Such an embarrassed voice. Me thinks the lady has been rather naughty~.”

I want to toss my phone.

“Oh no. Don't you try that with me! If any of us has been naughty, it's so you.”

“Me?!”

“Yes, you.”

He gasps in mock insult.

“Such slander!”

“Boy! Do I need to bring up what happened two weeks ago?”

“...What?”

“You know exactly what I'm talking about. You were sleeping over and thought I was sleeping. But I wasn't.”

I can hear the gulp this man does from being busted.

“So you were...?”

“My guy, that was ballsy. Jerking it when I'm right behind you.”

“In my defense...I blame you.”

“Me?!”

“I can't help getting turned on when you're practically grinding into me!”

Oh no he didn't!

“Sir, I'll have you know, such mud tarnishing my name better be backed up or so help you...”

“You know how you talk sometimes in your sleep?”

...Uh oh.

“Do you know how hard it is being so close to you and then hearing you moan my name? God, you drive me insane sometimes!”

Well...This got awkward as fuck real fast.

“This went from 0 to 100 real quick.”

“Yeah. Might have gotten too caught up in the moment. Do...Do you want to hang up?”

“...No. Hanging up won't undo anything.”

“You know we can slow things down if that makes you feel better. We don't have to dive into the deep end so soon.”

“I know. Probably doesn't help that we share really easily. But I like that we can. That we don't hide things. No matter what it is, we know the other will hear it out and not jump the gun or anything.”

Things get quiet on his end.

“Friend?”

“Promise you won't freak out about it.”

Oh boy. Where is this gonna go?

“I pinkie promise.”

“Okay...”

“Come on, man. You know it takes a lot to get under my skin. Don't worry.”

His breathing is a tad shaky and he mutters something under his breath,

“The order has been such a pain. I needed to clear my head and get out some frustration. And nothing does it for me except thinking of you...”

My eyes widen.

“So you were...”

“I...I still am.”

Oh...Oh my wow...

“L-Lynn?”

“I fuckin' called it!”

He yelps a little at my sudden loudness.

“You've been off this entire call and part of me was like...There's no way he's jerking off while we're talking...But I so knew it!”

“...Are you mad? I can't really tell.”

That makes me pause.

“I...I don't think I am.”

“Really?”

“I can't think of a reason why I would honestly. I mean...You like me. Why wouldn't you do it to thoughts of me? It just makes reasonable sense.”

He goes quiet for a small pause before his breathing shudders.

“Fuuuuck...I knew you were understanding, but I didn't think you were THIS level.”

“Bruh, what did you expect? Me to judge ya about jerking it? We're adults! Masturbation is normal.”

“Have you done it?”

“Done what?”

“You know...Have you touched yourself to thoughts of me?”

And now...Now it feels weird.

“What's wrong? We're adults. Masturbation is normal.”

His sassy tone is not amusing to me ad neither is the snickering.

Fine. You want to be that way. Boy doesn't know how petty I can be.

“Come on. I was just joking around. Don't tell me you're ma-”

I moan into the phone. Like, the kind of exaggerated moan you'd hear in porn. I do this...then hang up.

The time it takes for him to call back is instantaneous.

“Hello~.”

“What the hell was that?!”

“Keep your shit up and that's the only time you'll hear that from me.”

There’s a loud clattering and crash...Did he just fall?

“Dude? You okay?”

He groans.

“Y-You're not just saying that to mess with me, right?”

“I know not what you mean, sir Friend.”

“Lynsie...”

Oh, snap. Dropping the nickname...He must be serious.

“Please don't toy with me like this. Not now. N̢̧Ơ̷̧T̴ ̢̕҉WI͞T҉̸H S̕͝O̷͡M̀E̵T͝H͠I͜͠͡ǸG̶ I͏ ̴̧W̶̸A̢͟N̴̛T ̸̷̀S͜͞O͘͡ ̛̛B͡͏A͜͠D͡ĹÝ͜.”

Fucking phone glitches and I can't understand him for a moment.

Why does that happen so often when talking to him?

“My bad. Probably shouldn't tease ya like that. Not after our confessions and you're...you know.”

I can hear him move around and what sounds like him making himself comfortable.

“Well, this is new. I don't think I've known you to get shy around me.”

“To be fair, we don't usually talk about this kind of thing.”

“What about all the sex jokes?”

“Those are jokes. They don't mean anything. Besides...”

I curl in on myself a bit more.

“It's not like we...I'm still a...”

My throat tightens trying to muster the words out.

“You're still a virgin?”

Thank you for saying it! Lord knows I wouldn't have been able to.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Then you and Keagan didn't...?”

I sigh...A quick flash of past bad memories play in my head.

Honestly...Why was I ever with Keagan?!

“No. Not that he didn't try. He would put so much pressure on me and I'd always turn him down. He never really understood what it meant to be Ace. 'How can you be Ace? I know you get horny. Just let me show you, I can make you feel good'. That kind of crap.”

I can hear Friend's teeth gnashing. He's never liked Keagan and it's not like he doesn't have a good reason to hate him. Keagan was the reason our friendship broke for a time.

That man had convinced me that Friend, the guy I had grown up with since elementary school, was bad for me. He isolated me from anyone that wasn't him, especially Friend. I had always been there for Friend when no one else was. I stood by him at that empty funeral for his family and cried with him. I gave him a home when his was broken. We were thicker than blood. And Keagen made me abandon that. I even went as far as having Friend's number blocked so he'd stop texting me. Every time he tried to come up to me at school, I'd pointedly ignored him. And it hurt him. I knew it hurt him. I knew it did because it hurt me too.

My biggest regret was ever listening to a single word out of Keagan's mouth.

I vowed that night when Keagan's drunk ass ditched me in the middle of the night in god knows where and Friend, after all I did, was still willing to be my hero in my lowest moment...I swore never to leave him.

Never again.

“Long story short, yeah, I still have my V-card.”

“Thank god.”

“What about you?”

“Got mine too.”

“...Really?”

“I mean...I had a couple 'empty' make-out sessions. They didn't mean anything to me though, and I felt gross afterward. Besides, if I'm going to have my first time with anyone, it's you.”

My face burns in a blush, in fact, a wave of warmth spreads throughout me entirely from hearing that.

The way he said those words...Such conviction, sincerity, and care...It hits my heart.

“You...You would want me?”

“Of course, I would! I've been wanting you! If you tell me now, I'll come over and prove it to you...”

My heart is speeding up.

“I don't think...”

“No, listen to me. I love you! I need you to understand that.”

He's getting worked up. Oh boy...

���Friend...”

“You need to forget everything that fucker ever told you! You are amazing. You've always been amazing. And you deserve to feel wanted by someone that doesn't just want to fuck you!”

“Friend, please calm down.”

“You are worth so much more to me. We have a deeper connection than most will ever have in this crazy world. The thought of you being with anyone else or out of my life completely hurts more than anything! I'd rather die in the most brutal way possible than live a life without you in it. You need me, and I need you! I've always known what's best for y-”

I moan again into the phone to shut him up before he loses his shit. It works. Thank god! Had he not stopped it would just get more intense from there. This isn't the first time he's gotten like this.

“Yo...You good?”

He takes a few breaths.

“Y-Yeah...Yeah, I'm okay.”

“Good. You were getting heated there.”

“I meant it though.”

“I know you did. And...Thank you. It's...It's nice to know you feel that strongly.”

“That is but a small sample of my passion. I can and will do anything for you. A͏̵́͘͠N̴Y̢͝͠T͢͝Ḩ̴I̶̧̕͡͡N̴̡G̡̛.̀͘”

“As nice as that sounds, please don't put me up on such a tall pedestal. You know I'm afraid of heights.”

He laughs, it's good to hear it, it's a comforting sound. I relax and flop against my pillows once more.

Now to get this fucked up phone call back on its fucked up track.

“Anyway...Are you still whacking it?”

He has to catch his breath after gasping too sharply.

“Lynn, sweetheart...Y-You can't keep teasing me like this.”

“So that's a yes, got it.”

“Lynsie!”

“What? Are we not doing this?”

“Doing what?!”

“Getting together.”

There's that phone being gripped too hard crunching again.

“Are you saying I can be your...B-Boyfriend?!”

The excitement in his voice reminds me of a bomb fuse fizzling hastily to detonate the explosion.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“More than anything!”

“Then as my first act as your girlfriend...”

The overjoyed squeal he makes upon hearing that is so fucking cute!

“My first act is...to help you finish.”

A loud clattering happens...gonna think he dropped the phone again.

“Friend? Hello? My dude?”

The glitching of my phone goes nuts. I can barely hear anything. I hope he isn't saying something because I would have no clue what it would be.

I'm about to hang up and try recalling to see if that fixes anything when sound returns...he's panting.

“Friend?”

“Please...”

He sounds a tad feral like he's on a thin leash that's one last tug from snapping and letting a beast free.

“Please tell me I'm not dreaming. If this is a dream, it's the cruelest one I've ever had.”

“Well, that just lets me know you dream about me enough to need to ask that. Such knowledge is now forever burned into my memory.”

A shaky sigh of relief leaves him.

“It's real...This is all real...Fuck, you have no idea how long I've wanted something like this to happen.”

I snicker.

“You've been wanting me to call you up and have what is basically phone sex with you?”

“N-No! Yeah? Maybe...I don't know!”

Ah, the flustered Friend. A treat to behold and a fun wonder to hear.

“Daww. Have I ever told you how cute you are when like this?”

Lord, I wish I could see his face right now. Knowing him he's likely beet red and losing his shit.

“Too much? I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, my dude.”

“Sweetheart...”

My eyes widen and my spine tingles. The way he said what is normally a cute pet name, laced in heat to the point I swear I can feel his breath through the phone, is both surprising and shockingly alluring.

“You love teasing me like this, don't you? Naughty little thing~.”

Oh...Oh god, what have I unleashed?

“You're such a dirty, naughty little tease, aren't you~?”

I only have myself to blame here. Oh well, I said I'd help him and I might as well go along with what will do it for him. I can always stop when it's too much. I take a quiet breath and dip my voice low.

“Oh, dearest Friend...I have yet begone to tease you~.”

He shudders and I learn something new...That's hot.

“Yeah? Mmmmmm...Then go on, love...Don't hold back for me~.”

I shut my eyes and think. Okay...I might have something to work with.

“Imagine...I'm there with you. My arms draped around your neck in a sweet embrace as my hands rest on your chest, my fingers rubbing your skin daintily.”

He coos. At least this tells me that I'm going about this right.

“Not bad. But I did say not to hold back. I thought you were going to help me finish not hug me~.”

Or he's gonna erk me about being soft.

“I can't go all in out the gate without some buildup, my guy. I'm not some dime-store porno with a cheesy plot like I can't pay the pizza boy. You want me to help you? Then you keep that smack to yourself and enjoy a full-on experience as I paint you a mental picture of how I would please you!”

Okay brain, you could've run that by the thought filter before letting me blurt that shit out like a moron!

“Fuck...sweetheart...”

He shudders a bit heatedly.

“You don't know what you do to me~.”

Roll with it! Talk him through it!

“Do you like that? Do you like knowing I want to please you~?”

“Oooh yeah. I want to please you too~.”

He groans into a series of whimpers.

“K-Keep going, sweetheart...”

“I want to smother you in kisses and touch you all over. I want to run my fingers through your hair and straddle your lap. I want you to know, nay...I want you to feel how much I want you~.”

“Oohhhh fuuucck!”

That moan...So loud and deep...Warmth comes flooding back into my system.

“Please, sweetheart, please, touch me...I need you...I need you to touch me!”

A shivering shudder escapes me and I bite my lip too little too late...he heard it.

“Oh? What was that~?”

I don't think I've ever blushed harder in my life.

“Heheheh...So you're into this kind of thing? Is little Lynn a naughty dirty talking perv~?”

His teasing breaks my filter again.

“You're hot when you moan.”

Things get quiet for a whole minute.

“Lynn...”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Friend.”

“Gah~!”

Wait...WAIT...Did he just...?

He pants, his breathing is shaky yet still heated.

“O-Okay...My...M-My turn now.”

...What?

“What does that mean?”

He settles himself down a bit.

“To paraphrase you...My first act as your boyfriend will be to help you get off.”

Oh, sweet lord!

“But I'm not...”

“Hush, love. Í͡͠ C͡A̶͜͢N ̵S̨͜͞E̕E̡̧ ̴͜Ţ̧́H̨A̶͞T̡͢.̢ I just know I'm not the only one that's a little touch-starved.”

I mean...He's not wrong. Yet...

“I don't know how. I don't do stuff often.”

“...You're really making it hard for me to not come over and love on you, you know that?”

“Sorry.”

“N-No no no, no need to be sorry.”

He shudders.

“Fffuck, sweetheart, how is it you can get me so hard this easily?”

“You're hard again?! I thought you just came?”

He whines a little.

“I did...Ooooh...Yes, I did...I know I’m desperate and dirty but, fuck, you get me all worked up like a needy bitch in heat!”

Why is this hot? Seriously, brain, why are you telling me this is hot?!

I'm not sure how to respond but he seems to take my pause as a signal to keep talking,

“I want you. I want to worship you. I want to touch you and hear all the cute little sounds I can pull from that sweet mouth of yours before I silence it with my kiss...”

Fuck, that sounds good.

“Every inch of you will be mapped by my touch. I want to learn what makes you quiver with need and what drives you mad with want. What makes you burn and sends your heart thundering like a storm...”

You're doing a hell of a job right now, my guy.

“What would you do to me?”

The question slips out due to curiosity and growing lewdness. But he reacts without hesitation.

“What wouldn't I do to you~?”

Too much.

“I m-mean...As long as you're okay with whatever, you know?”

Nice save.

“But what would you want to do? No judgment.”

“...Promise?”

“Pinkie promise.”

“I...I do have a fantasy.”

“Share please!”

He whimpers, liking my interest in this.

“There's this position I often dream of you in...”

“Oh?”

“You're flat against the bed...”

“Yeah?”

“Face down...”

“Yeah.”

“Ass up...”

“Yeah...”

“I'm pinning your arms behind your back...”

“Yes.”

“I lean down so I can bite that sweet delicious neck of yours...”

“Yes~.”

“And I thrust into you like a wild animal till I make you scream~!”

“Yes~!”

I think something in me broke because nothing has made fire course through my veins like what he did.

“Sweetheart...”

I can't make myself speak, I just whimper in response.

“Touch yourself for me.”

I flinch.

“W-What?”

“Touch yourself for me. Keep going till I get there.”

“Wait, what?!”

The line cuts out and realization kicks in.

Friend lives a good ten-minute walk away and he has a key to my apartment.

Oh, holy fucking ass crackers this is happening?!

I begin to panic and try to keep calm...I do this for too long.

I'm completely unaware of the sound of jangling at my lock and the door swinging open. The soft click of my living room door closing finally snaps me out of it and the soft pitter-patter of footsteps grows louder as it draws closer to my room. It's seconds before he comes into view. Friend stands panting at the doorway, his face flushed from running so hard and he has a slight wheeze as he catches sharp breaths.

“H-H-Hey.”

I sound so meek.

He approaches, staring at me like he's going to eat me alive. He quickly draws near and my tensed nerves try to make me back away.

The next thing I know, he grabbed my ankle and dragged me close enough for him to pin me beneath him, his hands on either side of my head as he hovers above.

Part of me is terrified, yet another part has no fear. The conflicted feelings have me paralyzed.

He suddenly drops and I gasp from fright, he cages me in his arms as he holds me tight.

“I'm sorry...”

I am confused.

“For what?”

“Scaring you. I never want you to be afraid of me.”

I sigh and return the embrace, hoping to reassure him all is fine.

“I could never be scared of you. But maybe don't storm up in here like you're going to kill me next time.”

He chuckles in my ear.

“Yeah...You're right.”

To further make this awkward moment more normal, I scoot out from under him and poke his nose.

“Boop.”

He blinks a few times before smiling.

“You booped my snoot?”

“Your snoot was booped by me, yes.”

His eyes turn into pink hearts and glow, an expression I've always been jealous of that he can make. All mine do is randomly change color to match a mood.

He brings a hand up and cups my cheek.

“So soft...”

His thumb rubs tiny circles that make me purr.

“So lovely...”

His thumb trails down and traces my lips.

“S̸̛O͜ ̶́M̡͜͡I͢͏NE͢͡͏.͢͟”

Weird...He growled that last part so roughly I didn't understand.

He starts inching his way closer, closing the distance till our noses slightly touch.

“You can always tell me to stop. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

Even now, with something he wants so close and in his literal hands, he is so careful. As if I shall disintegrate if he moves ever so slightly too fast. I merely smile and hold his hand on my cheek.

“I know.”

Relieved, he hesitates no longer, kissing me soft and slow.

He's so warm.

He pulls back and we just stare at one another.

It's crazy...This is that same boy that used to always push me away when we were younger. And now...Now here he is, looking at me with longing as if afraid I’ll disappear.

“Can I...Can I try something?”

I smirk at him.

“Are you really that eager to thrust into me like a wild animal, huh?”

I've never seen his face get so red, eyes wide as he stammers yet can't make understandable words. I can't hold in my laughter. Picking up on my tease, he wastes no time in getting back at me, knocking me over with merciless tickling.

It's not like I wasn't asking for it. Poke a bear and expect to get mauled. Unlike a pissed-off bear though, Friend doesn't rip my throat out, what he does do is sit up and pull me onto him so that I straddle his lap as I settle down from the giggles.

“Okay...Okay...I admit that was a bit much. I'm sorry.”

“I forgive you, sweetheart.”

I sigh with relief as his hands take hold of my face.

“Friend?”

“You didn't answer me before...Can I try something with you?”

I nod to avoid being tickled again.

“Okay. Close your eyes. And no peeking~.”

“Fine. But no funny stuff.”

“Me? Funny stuff? Never.”

I shut my eyes and feel his lips shortly after, though there is something more to this kiss. He nips at my bottom lip, tugging it gently with his teeth, signaling a request for more than just this kind of contact. I let him have this and part my lips, a move he responds to more heatedly than I expected. The moment he knew my mouth is open, his tongue enters and I'm caught off guard by his messing around with mine. He pauses, making sure I'm okay with this before continuing.

Honestly, it's rather nice. Certainly better than any attention Keagan gave me. When it came to affection, Keagan was selfish, it was all about him and if I didn't enjoy it then that was my problem. But Friend? It's like I'm breathing for the first time. There's real care and consideration. There's intent to please and not just be pleased.

...And I love it!

My arms come up to loop around his neck and I lose my hands in his hair, my fingers combing along his scalp. He softly whimpers into my mouth and I shiver, really liking the sounds he makes. His hands leave my cheeks, slowly feeling their way down along my body till they find perch on my hips and pull me closer against him.

His warmth is so good. I can't help but melt on him. It's so good I don't even mind the stiffening bulge that's pressing more and more into me.

We pull away for air yet something in me wants more. He's unlocked something. Something needy. I guess he really was right about us both feeling touch-starved. Because I find myself trailing kisses down his cheek to his neck and nipping at his nape, the moans this makes him do are so rumbly that they make my lips tingle.

“Oh fuck, Sweetheart! Can we...go further...please?”

He begs in such a needy voice.

“I...I won't be mad if you don't want to...I promise. B-But...can we? Please?”

How can I resist such pleading? Especially when it stirs a want in me that is curious to see how this goes.

“How far is further?”

He shudders.

“As far as you'd let me.”

“Is that so?”

I kiss his nose real quick.

“Let's test what that is then~.”

If the tent pitched under me wasn't hard enough, after hearing that, it presses into me so much I can feel the damp spot from his excitement.

“Oh fuck...”

His hips buck suddenly.

“Oh my fucking god!”

“You okay?”

“I can't believe this is happening!”

I snicker at his cuteness till the grip on my hips moves to grab my shirt. His eyes ask for him and I give him a shy nod before he slowly removes the garment. The look he has, this man is utterly gobsmacked by my surprisingly bare chest.

“You...Y-You're not wearing a bra?”

“In my defense...I was home alone and wanted to be comfortable.”

His hands move to touch my breasts but I tap his wrists to stop him. He gets confused till I tug his shirt. It's a little unfair that I'm the only exposed one. He does get the hint, quickly shedding his shirt and tossing it onto the floor.

“Better?”

I give him a thumbs up and he sighs with a smile before shoving me off onto my back with a smirk. I don't get to be pissed about that, not when he climbs on top of me and pins my wrists down while going to town marking my neck with his affection. Kisses, bites, and sucking hickeys. Each little attentive nip to the sensitive skin pulls the lewdest sounds out of me. And it only gets more intense when he lets one of my wrists go to palm my chest, letting me hold him close as he slowly makes me lose my mind.

“Friend! Oooooh...Fuck...Friend~!”

He chomps down and my back arches sharply, resulting in me grabbing at him to which I end up nabbing his hair...This seems to be the thing that breaks his restraint.

He leaves my neck and returns to kissing me by slamming his lips to mine. This kiss is way more heated than the one we had before. His tongue can't get enough of me, exploring and memorizing every bit. His hands find new targets, one removes my hair tie then digs his fingers into the follicles and the other hand goes under me to drag his nails across my back.

“I want you. I've wanted you for so long...so...very...long...”

With my hands now free, I get to give him a taste of his own touch medicine, letting my hands rub along any and every bit of him that's exposed. He really seems to respond the most when I play with his hair, be it massaging his scalp or giving him a little tug, it gets him groaning as his hips rock into mine.

“Fuck...sweetheart...I want to be inside you...”

My heart skips a beat hearing how needy he is.

“Please, please, I need you...I need you so bad...Please?”

He whimpers more heated pleas as he grinds against me.

“You can tell me no and I'll stop. I'll go home. We don't have to do anything more. You just have to tell me...”

Fuck, the way he's doing it...He's at the perfect angle to drive me crazy...How is he so good at this?!

“Yes.”

He pauses.

“Yes, you want me to go?”

“No, I mean, yes.”

I kiss him roughly and nip his lip.

“Get it?”

I can practically see the smoke leak out of his ear as his brain crashes and reboots to process that. Once realization kicks in, he gets off of me and has a mild panic moment. I'm about to go to him when I hear it...the telltale sound of a jeans zipper being pulled down...then his pants drop. This isn't so bad until I get a good look at the monster he's got down there. Not only is it big, but dear god...It's also pierced!!

“Is that...Is that a Jacob's Ladder piercing?”

He blinks for a moment.

“You know what it is?”

I blush and he smirks deviously while kicking his jeans and boxers off to the side.

“Oh, sweetheart...”

His chuckles make me a little nervous.

“You really are a naughty little thing, aren't you~?”

“My good man, you know very well that I shop at HotTopic and Spencer's. Me knowing what that piercing is should be the least surprising thing.”

“True. True.”

He returns to me and puts his hands on my legs, giving my pants a little tug as to ask for permission.

So this is really happening. We're really doing this. If I want, things can end here. We don't have to go any further. But...I don't want to stop. I like this. I like how he makes me feel. I like making him feel loved. It's why I've gone this far. It's why I'm doing this. It's why I'm helping him remove what's left of my clothes. So now I sit bare to him as he stands naked to me.

“Beautiful.”

“Flatterer.”

“No, I mean it. There's no one like you...”

He moves in and I back up to give him room, though he moves faster than I do, embracing me tightly.

“Sweetheart...You're perfect in my eyes. You're smart and adorable. Everything you do is without a flaw. You are the only one who knows me. Who actually cares about me...You're my sole reason for existing. Without you...I'd have given up a long time ago.”

So dramatic he is. ...But it is nice. Nice to hear how much I mean to someone. It's been so long...

I nuzzle into his hair and he smiles, tightening his hold.

“You're mine, Lynn, and I'm yours...forever~.”

He practically purrs before kissing my collarbone.

“I can't believe this is happening. I've dreamed of being this close to you for so long...”

He leans up, using his tongue to play with my earrings.

“Heh. Having fun?”

“Just indulging myself is all.”

I snicker before being made silent...his hand is touching me down there. When did he move to do that?!

“Mmmm...Something wrong, sweetheart?”

I shake my head, trying to focus on not trembling so much. I can almost feel him smirk against me. The way his fingers just ever so faintly skim over the lips and slit is enough to make me writhe against him.

How...How does he make my body do such things?!

“You're squirming. Do you want me to stop?”

“No...Just...I'm not used to this. It feels a little...weird, I guess? S-Sorry.”

I look away and miss the dark expression he gets.

“HE made this weird for you...Didn't he?”

It takes a moment to register that but I don't get a chance to respond. Friend's finger dives inside and all thought shuts down for me as he starts pumping the digit around to the point he's knuckle-deep.

“A deadbeat incel like HIM only wishes he could know something so amazing like this. But HE never will. No one will. No one can be with you like this but me. You...Are...M̶͟I̷͢N̵̸͜E͡...My love!”

The finger curls into me, finding a spot that makes my jaw drops and I cling to him as if my life depends on it. This at least gets his attitude to revert back to being normal. This isn't the time for such malice.

“Oh? Does that feel good~?”

His thumb finds my clit and my head jerks back fast...slamming into the bed's headboard.

“Shit! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!”

This is just awkward in a funny.

“I'm good. Just a little bonk. I've taken worse head hits. Remember the metal bat incident?”

“The fact you still never went to a doctor for that still freaks me out.”

“Dude, I never when to the doctor for anything. The bat hit, the bike crashes, the broken glass cuts, the dog bite, the screw through my hand, falling out of a tree on my spine, the other time I fell out of a tree...”

“Do I need to be with you 24/7?! Because so help me I will!”

“Oh calm down, you drama queen. You were there for some of that.”

“That doesn't make it better! I shouldn't have been such a slacker. If I was paying more attention then you wouldn't ha-!”

I'm not a fan of him beating himself up. So I figure a kiss will shut that negative dribble up. And it does! But it also rekindles his actions. Though he takes it a little slower this time. Not that I mind. Those nimble fingers of his are amazingly skilled and I'm mewling in his ear much to his pleasure.

“Yeah? Does that feel that good? Poor little thing you are~. And so needy too. You're already squeezing on me.”

It's hard to concentrate on what he's saying, especially when the words “Fuck” and “Yes” are just repeating on a loop in my head.

“Heh...You look so cute, sweetheart. The way you're losing yourself to me is so intoxicating~.”

Feeling more confident, he returns to messing with my clit and my insides tighten up. I also get more vocal, something he really likes. Whimpering breaths and lewd begging moans seem to be his thing.

“Such lovely sounds. That's right. Come undone. I'm the only one who can make you feel this way...”

He adds a second finger and I nearly lose it right there.

“Say it...Say I'm the only one!”

And like a needy bitch, I obey.

“Y-You're the only one...Ah, fuck...F-Friend please!”

“Please what~?”

Oh come on man, don't tease me now!

“P-Please...I'm...So close!”

I must sound so desperate. Then again...He likes that~.

“My sweetheart wants to cum? Heh...Since you begged so nicely, I'll grant your wish. So cum for me!”

There's some adjusting on his end before I feel three fingers enter to work me over and the remaining digits ceaselessly fondle my love button. My back begins to arc almost painfully, allowing him to use his other hand to clutch my heaving chest, teasing and pinching at the pleasing mounds. All this stimulation is making my toes curl. My panting reaching higher and higher octaves as my senses turn up to levels unknown.

“Cum for me, Lynsie~.”

I don't know how he did it, but I won't dare question it, the utterance of such a command caused the infernal need in my core to explode, and the next thing I know the world itself as I register it is gone. All there is to my senses is a white light in my vision, the muffled sound of my breathing, and a numb sensitive tingling throughout my being. I shameful whine at the removal of his fingers, missing his touch instantly, a sound that only makes him chuckle.

“Good girl. You did so well, sweetheart...”

He sits up, spreading my quaking legs further apart with one hand as he licks his other hand clean of my release.

“Mmmmmm...You taste so good. So sweet~.”

Whatever you say there, buddy.

“I suppose I can forgive you then for not touching yourself when I told you to. Getting to make you cum was a far better option.”

That's nice.

“But now...Now it's my turn~.���

Slowly things begin coming back to me, just in time to see him pressing closer and lining himself up at my entrance.

“It shouldn't hurt as much after that. But if it does, you let me know, okay? I want this to only make us both feel good.”

My limp noodle arms attempt to reach out for him, making him smile and he interlocks his hands in mine. Slowly he eases himself inside of me, relaxed muscle and slick release allowing him to sink into my depths with no resistance. He fills the empty space so well, and the way his piercings rub my walls, oh lord I nearly orgasm again when he hilts himself completely.

“Oooooh...Fuck...Fuuck...”

For both our sakes he waits for a moment in case I need to adjust to his size. No lie though, him just being inside and throbbing into me is the most arousing thing to me. I can't help the involuntary clenching down around him, yet his face contorting in utter bliss and the drool seeping out as he bites his bottom lip is so worth it.

That's because of me. I'm making him feel that good from just this. ...And I fucking love it!

“I...I'm going to move now. Is that okay?”

He sounds like he's barely holding himself together. As if any moment now he'll lose his shit. Probably doesn't help that I keep squeezing him.

“Y-Yeah~.”

Loopy. That is the only way I can explain how I sound.

He pushes my weak hands back and holds them down by my head as he takes his mounting stance. He painstakingly pulls back till the head is all that's in, his piercings dragging across sensitive zones, and my back arches sharply with a groan. He throws his head back in a series of incoherent pleasure-induced nonsense before pushing himself back in fully, eyes fluttering as they roll into the back of his head. This is the pace he keeps for a bit, slowly getting us both delirious off the delicious friction, but then he picks up speed to start thrusting and that's when things get wild.

“Friend...Aaah~! F-Fuck...Please...Please don't stop~! Don't s-stop!”

“Yeah? Do you like this? Do you like me fucking you? You want me to fuck you like the little slut you are?”

Okay...I figured he was into dirty talk but I guess this is another level.

He lets my hands go and leans back, grabbing my legs then bringing them up to my head. This new angle allows him to penetrate me even deeper. He is very lucky that I'm flexible and double jointed or this would be having me scream in pain instead of mind-melting ecstasy.

“Yes! Yes! God, you feel so amazing! Can you feel it too, my love? Can you feel just how much I've longed for you? For this moment? I've wanted this for so long...I've wanted you to be mine and mine alone...And now you are!”

His hands leave my legs but now he wraps his arms around me, locking them in place as he slams into me over and over again with the vigor of a man possessed. I am broken. A shambling mess beneath him and at his mercy. His sweet relentlessly demanding mercy!

“You're loving this, aren't you? You like my dick inside you. You like me fucking that needy hole of yours. God...You're so fucking tight...Keep squeezing on me, you dirty girl!”

I'm going to burst! I'm overheating, my ability to think is gone, I can't make coherent speech, I'm panting rapidly enough that two different tones are coming out, and my insides are so tense that I won't be able to last much longer. Especially as he keeps jamming that impressive length into spots that have stars blurring out my sight. Then again, he doesn't seem like he has much left before he's spent too.

“You're gonna cum for me? Gonna cum all over me? Oooooh cum for me, sweetheart...I want to see it. I need to see you do it. Do it, Lynsie…Cum for me~!”

With just a few more bucks of his hips, my body does as he wishes. I scream his name as the coil inside my core snaps, my muscles twitch and tense in his hold while my senses go into overload trying to slowly fizzle out.

Now it's his turn. His thrusting becomes erratic as my walls clench on him in a vice-like grip, attempting to milk him for his release. Drool trails down his chin as he snarls through his harsh pumping.

“Yeah, that's it! Take it, sweetheart! I'm gonna fill you up so much! And you're gonna take it all~!!”

A few more deep delves into my depths are all that is needed for him, he groans so loudly in my ear and floods me with his warmth. My quivering insides drink his essence. Such heat is rather soothing actually. And there's so much of it that just shoots into me in loads.

Thoroughly exhausted, he can barely move, only managing to yield his death grip on my body and let my legs fall back down. I wince at the soreness of being bent like that for so long and receive apologetic kisses on my neck.

“I'm...I'm sorry. Was I too rough?”

“N-No...You good...Me just tired.”

The cool air of my room can at last be felt, making me shiver and snuggle him. He smiles, weakly getting the blanket edges and covering us as best he can before cuddling into me.

“I'm not too heavy, am I? I'm too spent to move off of you. ǪR̢ ̶̀O̕͜Ư̸T̡͜ O̡F͡͏ ̶̧͜Y͏͜O̢͝U.”

Mmmm...I don’t know what he said, but that deep growl is so pleasant.

“You're fine...Not heavy at all.”

He sighs blissfully.

“I can't believe this actually happened...”

I put a hand on his back and rub along his spine, making him purr.

“I've wanted you for so long...”

I wonder how long I'll stay awake. He’s so warm. And his voice is so melodically soothing...like a lullaby.

“And now you are mine.”

He kisses my lips for the quickest of moments and I coo wearily.

“I love you so much. And knowing that you feel the same...It makes me so happy.”

He puts a hand under my head and kneads my scalp, making my eyes close in contentment.

“Love...you...Friend...”

“That's right. You love me and I love you...We will be together...Forever and ever~.”

I cave in and pass out shortly afterward.

Only to be startled awake when the realization hits him.

“I forgot the condom!”

#see thru need a friend #yandere #stnaf #stnafgame #friend #seethruneedafriend #seethruneedafriendgame #see thru need a friend game #18+ #Lynn